#Turning the gays straight: experiment

[yellowgreendinno]

My Ick

You know what gives me the ick? The fact that Fuenozel would be a much more popular ship (more than it already is, because from what I've seen, many ship them or say that it would compel them) if it was straight. Just imagine the following, because I assure you that with what society has taught us during our lives, this will look much 'cuter' and 'shippable' than the original. These are my Fuenozel headcanons that I've decided to publish with my not really OC, Nobuko Silva. It's their story, gone from 'oh my god, I love gays!' to 'ugh this is so chiché' with the simple act of genderbending one of them.

!Recommendation! - Listen to "Kyoto" by Phoebe Bridgers

Enjoy~

Imagine two little royals, one is six and the other's just barely five. A little red head boy and a tiny silver haired girl. They meet for the first time because his mom was busy, and so decided to ask her mom to keep watch of him and his big sister. They arrive to the Silva Castle, where the woman by the name of Acier Silva awaits with a little girl hiding behind her long leg. So, naturally, he goes to say hi to her the first, while his sister stays behind to chat with the beautiful mother, who seems interested in the youngling's fast whit and attitude even at such a young age. The both leave, leaving the boy and the girl on their own to play house or whatever kids their age do, said his sister. The girl is shy at first, and genuinely thinks her new playmate is a demon because- Momma are those fangs and eye marks even human?!

And so it goes, and they meet regularly. And by the age he turns ten and she's barely nine, he's managed to get the girl to see him as a friend. Her best friend, actually. But he knows she'll never admit it out loud. One day, she asked him what his dream was, not expecting his friend -his all too sensitive friend, in his opinion- to throw a tantrum, because- "Not fair! Becoming Wizard King is my dream! You stole it!" Obviously, he didn't want her to be upset, so, with a hug that held the sentiment of their pure little age, he promised that - "We can compete to see who becomes the Wizard King, I promise"

And just like that, their dynamic has changed completely. By the time he turns twelve and she's barely eleven they meet every day before lunch time at the Vermillion Estate's training grounds to fight, gaining more and more control over their mana every time they spar. It's never seriously though, they wouldn't dream of hurting each other. At least seriously. How many of her favourite blouses were torn and burnt? And just how many of his blue jackets were cut apart? How many scars does she have from third-degree burns? How times has he gone to Owen because of mercury poisoning? They're young and they're having fun, that's what matters.

But of course, things change. And soon, let's say by the time he turns thirteen and she's barely twelve, he finds himself spending more and more time inside her room than in his. They hang out, talk about their dreams, and simply are. They were friends before, but now their bond was deeper, nearer. She wouldn't find it to be a surprise to see him slumped in her own home, in her own room, in her own bed, after a long day. She would still get scared when he sometimes slammed the door open with a loud noise against the wall, his loud voice wanting to tell her something he'd done the day. And for him- he lived to see that reaction every day. If you asked him why, he would answer that- "It's hilarious!"

He starts to get scared when he turns fourteen and she's barely thirteen. She's starting to learn what stoicism is, and his sensitive crybaby of a best friend is slowly but surely slipping from his fingers. Things don't change much aside from that as time moves on from that year. But they become close, inseparable. More than they ever were before. His sister, her mother and even Lady Theresa Rapual had noticed it. There was a subtle change in his mana. Lady Theresa once told him that one's mana shifts to appease and please the ones close to oneself. That's why his mana had always been loud, fiery, dangerous, booming, wild, savage. It mirrored his sister's. But the Lady had noticed, however, that her devoted student's mana was slowly becoming more collected. It imposed respect. Beauty. The inexistent coldness of the crackling fire. But she knows better. The girl is often seen in family dinners now. She talks to his parents as if they were her own, to his sister as if she were her own. He, in exchange, finds himself holding a baby boy with white hair and blue eyes as he walks into the Silva Castle, his presence now brotherly and calmly. He finds himself witnessing a little girl with pink eyes create specks of mist with her own hands for the first time. Being without each other equals to cutting off their dominant hand now. It feels good. Lady Acier's somewhat like the non-neglecting mother he wished he had. And he found himself blushing once he barged into her room one day, and found the sight of his best friend in a towel, in the midst of styling her damp hair. He tells her what he was about to with excitement, and then goes out of the room. He tells her to meet him outside, and their sparring session goes by as it normally would. They gone to Raque and the volcano's hot springs together. And it goes on as usual - the playful pushes into the water and booming laughs. There was only one problem. The one thing that scared him. He found himself thinking about her white, damp hair and fair, wet skin afterwards.

It all changes then. By the time he's fifteen and she's barely fourteen. Acier Silva falls and so does the earth under his friend's feet - and consequently, under his. The only thing that his mother- Lady Acier had left behind was a small baby with all to big lungs. He spent the night after her death. He saw it all. The quivering mess his best friend has become. The screams. The tears, sorrow, guilt, all the hairs pulled out of spite. She wears a golden choker now. She tries to comfort her siblings, but she can't even comfort herself. So, he climbs up the tallest tour in the kingdom - to her window. And in all those years, he had never seen her cry like that. The sobs and screams. The next morning, she assured him he was better. So he left the Castle with an uneasy feeling. He doesn't see her in a year.

Then, he receives a letter. This happens probably when he turns sixteen and she's barely fifteen. He got a pretty silver decorated card with a place, a time, and a dress code - an invitation. To her Grimoire receiving ceremony. His mind runs a thousand miles a second as he dashes to his chambers to prepare himself. And now... now is when that funny feeling appears. He finds himself searching purpousely through all of his clothes to find an outfit that she'd like, he cleaned up perfectly, sprayed a bit of cologne on his neck and wrists - the one he knew she liked -, and made sure he was the most charming picture of a royal man. He wonders what she'll look like... Will she wear a Silva dress, or a tailored one? Will she wear heels? "No, she probably has grown" Will she be up for a spar, or has she turned into a pretty royal? Only now- he realises she's always been pretty. He jumps on the carriage for it to take him to the Silva Castle, the place he's avoided for a year. He feels mighty as all those faces turn to look at him, a perfect single young man who could make a match for all those noble's daughters. But it doesn't matter, because they all disappear once he makes eye contact with the person he misses the most. She wears a tailored dress. A white one, adorned with feathers. Heels hold her weight, and a silver tiara adorns her perfect white hair. He wonders if she stares at him too, watching his perfect vermillion mane wave in the open window's breeze. If she wonders what he smells like, what his now calloused hands will feel on hers after a year. They walk closer, and he sees - she hasn't grown a bit. Not in height. He looks at her closely, and notices he always knew his friend was pretty. She always knew her friend was pretty. But now? They see each other and only see the perfect image and the whole epitome of ethereal beauty. Her new Grimoire glows beside her, but he couldn't care less. He now has to look down at her, as she has to crane her neck to make eye contact with him. He places his hand on waist, her hand going to his shoulder. "May I have this dance?"

[mochapanda]

we gotta stop the "born this way" argument w/ lgbt stuff bitches are out here thinking theyre locked into a gender or sexuality like a video game. guys you can do whatever you want forever

[nyxi-pixie]

I DONT WANNA BE THE OWNER OF YOUR FANTASY!!! I JUST WANNA BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY!!!!!

[skrunksthatwunk]

im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position

[reluctantbylerblog]

it's so interesting how the "gay character falls in love with a straight character" trope is almost exclusively played as tragic but the "straight woman falls in love with a gay man" is often played for laughs and the "straight man falls in love with a lesbian" often ends with the lesbian in a relationship with the man. anyways if byler isn't endgame I will commit crimes of passion

[bisexualseraphim]

Me, struggling to maintain my principles that hating on straight people is more harmful to our community than helpful, when I see videos of young straight girls screaming MOTHER IS MOTHERING at Mitski shows:

[certifiedlucifersimp]

"Dni if you're easily offended, but also dni if you're into the queer shit cause it triggers me"

I love queer shit , I don't like discussing LGBTQIA issues (・⁠～⁠・) .

[silly-little-guyys]

help i was groomed 2yrs ago by some fucking family friend identical twin and one of them was weird and the other was chill? sorta? i mean he's 5yrs older and had a crush on a literal child and ive had both of them blocked since then but my new phone unblocked all contacts for some reason and the chill-ish reached out again and wants to be friends

send help what do i do

[neverendingford]

.

[235uranium]

bangs my head against the wall

[pokemon-radical-red]

Why are trans men constantly gaslit about our lived experiences?

We try to talk about how we’re denied reproductive care and are treated as others in gynecological spaces. We should not be outliers or things of ridicule or disgust in these spaces. These are spaces where we should be welcomed like any cis woman would be. We are treated like this even when we need gynecological care because we are trans men.

We try to talk about how TERFs oversexualize us while infantalizing and talking down to us. They act like they have ownership of our bodies, and like we need them to guide us to “accepting” ourselves as women. They do this because we are trans men. People have started calling them TWERFs instead, because they like to believe that we are included on behalf of TERFs wanting to change our minds and bodies, and claiming that they will have open arms for us when we’re “done with our phase.” (Being sexualized is especially true of straight trans men. Gay trans men will be constantly subjected to fatphobic stereotypes, and plenty of things that are just “LIBERAL SJW,” misogynistic stereotypes turned around and used against someone who it’s slightly more acceptable to hurt. This is okay to so many people because we are trans men.)

When we point out any ways that we face oppression, we have 500 people screaming that another group has it worse. Depending on the group, they claim that we’re either privileged men or privileged little girls complaining about nothing.

There is no way for us to win in society’s eyes. We are constantly silenced and spoken over, even by some of our siblings. Trans men deserve to be respected. Trans men deserve to be understood. Trans men deserve to be accepted.

Trans men deserve to be believed.

[lizardsfromspace]

I do have to impress on anyone who wasn't around for it how batshit the reality boom of the 2000s could be. Especially on Fox.

Here are some 100% real 2000s reality shows:

Who's Your Daddy? A woman has to guess which of eight men is her biological father. One of them really is, and if she guesses right she wins $100,000. If one of the seven fake dads convinces her to guess them, he wins $100,000.

Black. White. A white family learns about racism by living a month in blackface, while a black family spends a month in whiteface. The black family was a real family, but the white family was just some actors hired to put on blackface to prove racism exists

Without Prejudice? Five strangers decide which of five strangers gets a cash prize based off clips and their answers to political questions. Cancelled when one of the choosers openly said he'd eliminate all black contestants

Welcome to the Neighborhood. Three conservative white families in a Austin subdivision decide which diverse family gets to move in. Unaired due to being literal housing discrimination

Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay. Two straight men try to pass themselves off as gay and whoever seems more gay gets $50,000. Unaired due to. Due to. Due to

Playing It Straight. A woman tries to find love among fourteen men, half of whom are straight and half of whom are gay, and she must eliminate two men she believes are gay each week. If she ended up picking a straight man in the end, they'd split a million dollars; if she picked a gay man, he'd win a million dollars

Boy Meets Boy. This was Playing It Straight but starring a gay man and he had to eliminate straight people

Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire? He wasn't a multimillionaire. He didn't even have a million dollars in liquid assets. He had a battery conviction Fox claims they didn't see. Because it was the 2000s, somehow this ended up with the woman he won being widely vilified and turned into a national punchline. How dare she complain about a massive corporation tricking her into marrying a lying abuser, good thing Matt Lauer's there to take her down a peg

The Swan. A "ugly" woman is given plastic surgery and wins a prize if she's the hottest at the end of the season. If she's not hot enough by the show's standards she's eliminated and called ugly on national TV

The Biggest Loser. Overweight people engage in competitive crash weight loss that often led to awful health complications. Studies showed basically everyone on the show regained any weight they lost once it was over and they didn't have abusive trainers demanding they take huge health risks to win a competitive weight loss competition. Like the others, this one was cancel-oh, it was a massive hit that ran for 18 seasons? Yikes!

Wife Swap and Trading Spouses. These were the same show and had a wife from one family go to another family that was different politically, racially, culturally, religiously etc. Most famous for the God Warrior

At the time people focused on the likes of Fear Factor but looking back it's wild how many of the worst shows toyed with politics. So many of these shows have a premise that's like "what if we exposed these conservatives to these people they hate?" or hyping themselves up as Important Experiments. Then they'd freak out when they got the kind of viral bigoted freakout they were trying to construct the whole time.

There were also a bunch of horrible reality shows, thankfully this time mostly unpopular, in the 2010s that based themselves around economic themes as a response to the market crash, but that's a story for another time

[davidfaulkner]

Just remembered there are people that think Sam Winchester is straight.

[steddieme]

i love eddie turning into an asshole when he's gay panicking

like he tries so hard to hide his crush on steve he acts like a total dickhead. and steve knows eddie has a crush on him because his years of dating experience don't fail him, so he's very confused and can't decide if eddie is in denial or ashamed of his feelings for him, but he's a little sad either way. eddie just thinks steve is straight and is embarrassed he has a crush in general and doesn't know how to act lmao

like someone will ask something about steve and he'll answer in a milisecond and then look disgusted and make fun of whatever steve fact he just blurted out

jonathan: what's steve's favorite color?

eddie in 0.1 seconds: yellow

eddie immediately after for no reason: which is such an ugly color. who even likes yellow ugh

meanwhile he's yelling at himself in his head to shut the fuck up because he loves when steve wears yellow

robin, who didn't try to answer to see what eddie does: *amused and offended at the same time*

steve just stands in the background all confused and a little sad, because he's pretty sure eddie gives him heart-eyes every time he wears his yellow sweater. so what the fuck is he on about...

or when anyone in any way implies he likes steve he'll turn into his biggest hater

robin: you're so gone for him, man

eddie: what are you talking about? i fucking hate steve, god, he's so annoying

robin: ... i didn't even say steve's name, how did you know i was talking about him

eddie:

eddie: well, i just wanted you to know i hate him, which is unrelated to this imaginary guy you're talking about...

steve is in the break room eavesdropping going what the fuck, because they literally fell asleep cuddling last night

it all comes to a head when they all go out to watch eddie perform at the hideout with corroded coffin. steve wears his hottest outfit, eddie can't stop staring at him through the whole show. afterwards when they congratulate him, eddie turns to steve and tells him he looks awful. and steve just has enough and grabs eddie by the wrist and drags him out of the bar, into an alley.

steve: okay, what the fuck is your problem?

eddie, scared and turned on: huh?

steve: you keep insulting me and it's starting to really get on my nerves, so tell me what the fuck is going on

eddie:

eddie: look

steve: yeah?

eddie: ugh, whatever, okay, i have like the most embarrassing, ginormous crush on you, okay?

steve: yeah, i know that. so why are you being an asshole?

eddie: you know that?? what the fuck, how??

steve: eddie, you're like the least subtle person i know

eddie: fair... i don't know i just panicked because i didn't want you to know

steve: and your solution was to be a dick?

eddie: when you put it that way, it does sound bad

steve: you're a fucking idiot, i can't believe i like you

eddie: you like me???

steve: a fucking idiot, i swear!!!

then they make out and live happily after

not before robin kicks eddie's ass a little, though

[winndycakes]

Winndy Rambles And Gushes About Chuck Tingle

Wanted to ramble a little about one of my favorite authors, creators and overall just super rad people; Chuck Tingle.

Like many people, when I first heard of Chuck, I took him as some sort of meme. A troll, a joke, someone not to be taken seriously. After all, the majority of his works are "silly short erotica stories around dinosaurs, cryptids and even living concepts and items". How COULD this be serious? It's a question I asked before, years ago, and one that many still do to this day.

One holiday season, a friend had made a post on FaceBook saying "first five people to comment I'll gift you a book". So I did. The book I got was a physical copy of the "Space Raptor Butt Invasion Trilogy" by Chuck Tingle. Since I had a book of Tingle's now, I really had no excuse to not read it for myself.

Erotica normally isn't my thing (I'm pretty ace and grey aro too), but very quickly, I was charmed by the prose. As you read Chuck's stories, there's a fact that becomes very apparent. Chuck Tingle is a great writer, a really great writer. How he writes, how the words flow together, one sentence going into the next. The characters, the plot, the little bits of lore, dialogue and all he puts in... You quickly begin to see; this is NOT a joke.

It is not a meme. He is not trolling you. It is art. Passionate, sincere, genuine art. And it's beautiful. The more you read, the more definitive it gets.

I will admit, I have read aloud many a Tingler for friends and others in Discord servers, both to share my joy of Tingle with others, but also, it is fun to look at how different his works are. It's fine to laugh along with them even.

The moment that really was like... angels singing, light shining down and there's bishi sparkles and a heavenly soft pink background appearing for me though was the summer Chuck Tingle released on of his first full novella's; "Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus". Like many, I was crushed and gutted at JKR's extreme turn to committing to transphobia (and of course the hindsight of realizing... the HP books and universe were not as kind and welcoming as I remembered growing up). So when Chuck Tingle (in one weekend mind you) came out with a 50k novel affirming trans people and their belonging in not just queer spaces, but being on this Earth, as fellow human beings, it was... affirming. It was the welcoming feeling I had gotten with the original HP books all those years ago, but it was real. (Also please read both Trans Wizard Harriet Porber books. They're delightful, fun and the magic system Tingle creates is so, so cool and interesting).

The next thing that got me just mega hype for Tingle was his first foray into horror; "Straight". "Straight" is Tingle's answer to the ever popular trope and genre of zombies and the apocalypse that comes with them, and what a fun turn of tables he takes on them. Zombies in the Tingleverse are not undead beings, they're not humans afflicted by a virus, instead a strange cosmic event happens once a year, when one night, all cishet people on Earth get this animalistic, violent urge to brutally harm and even kill all queer people. I won't get too spoilery about it but it is a very fun romp, and as someone who has been fatigued by zombies, it is a welcome new perspective.

Not long after this, Chuck came out with two full, traditionally published horror novels; "Camp Damascus" and "Bury Your Gays". Both are very different experiences in horror, both a joyful celebration of being queer and your authentic self even in the face of those looking to silence you, permanently if they must. I had the pleasure of meeting Chuck (twice!) while he was on tour for both of these books, getting my copies signed (along with my copies of the Trans Wizard duology and my beloved copy of the Space Raptor trilogy) and was able to tell Tingle myself just how important he is to someone like me; another queer autistic creator. (I was also one of the few people to win the little mini games he gave, twice, but that's a different story).

Ultimately that is what I am trying to get at. Growing up, and even for all of my 20s, there wasn't really someone like Tingle. Someone unabashedly authentic, themselves, queer, open and imo most importantly, joyously so. One is often told "just be yourself" but that can be hard to do when it seems like the world is against you for one reason or another.

Seeing a creator like Chuck shows how important it is to have such a presence in the world, and I was glad I got to tell him myself. I've had a lot of hardships in life, a lot of losses, a lot of grief, but someone like Chuck is there to tell you to keep trotting and remind you; Love Is Real.

And that's truly the ending message:

Love Is Real.

[hairmetal666]

Eddie survived the Upside Down. The bats. Vecna. And after the hospital, the town recovery, the shady government agencies clearing his name, after all of that, he has the best year and a half of his life. A lot of it is due to Steve and Robin. Well. The whole group of them, really, but Harrington and Buckley specifically.

Except that, you know, he survived extra-dimensional horrors and now he's going to die anyway, brought down in his prime by his devastating crush on Steve Harrington.

It's a stupid way to meet his end. Even worse than going at the hands of a demented telepathic wizard named after a DnD monster. Though...it's not like he didn't see the crush coming a mile away. Eddie may not have any practical experience in matters of the heart, but he knows he likes a pretty boy and Steve is the prettiest of them all.

There is no dimension where his feelings are requited, so he flirts and he pines, and knows it means nothing when Steve matches him quip for quip, touch for touch. He keeps getting himself in these situations where he thinks--maybe--but Steve is straight, constantly goes out with pretty, bubbly girls.

The pining may kill him, but he's determined to leave this world with a little bit of grace.

Until Steve's Halloween party.

It's a whole thing. All the kids, the rest of their own group of young adults, plus the Hellfire Boys, and the actual adults. It's a weird mix, but Eddie figures that, well. It's a family thing.

Halloween is his favorite holiday, one he plans for all year, but this year he decides to take it easy, electing to do a take on the vampire gang from The Lost Boys. The party is in full swing when they walk in, Wayne quickly spotting Hopper and making his way to the kitchen, but Eddie doesn't see Steve in the chaos of kids and Jonathan and Argyle's dual Frankensteins.

He grabs a beer from Robin who keeps giving him this look all knowing and sparkling and he doesn't understand it, not until he hears delighted laughter and shouts in the main room.

Buckley squeezes past him, and he takes the moment alone to close his eyes, brace for whatever fresh, unwitting, torture Steve has in store for him tonight.

He steps into the living room and time freezes.

Steve's in the shortest shorts Eddie's ever seen, thick, muscular, bitable thighs on full display. He's wearing a pink sweatshirt, neon fingerless gloves that very distantly Eddie recognizes as belonging to El, and gold hoop earrings in both ears.

Eddie has to sit down.

Wham! Isn't his kind of music, and he finds George Michael grating because of it, but--he's seen men dressed like that in magazines he steals from bookstores in Indianapolis, had wondered if George Michael was gay too. And now here Steve is, looking like a fantasy ripped direct from Eddie's brain.

Before he can make an escape, someone turns on the Monster Mash. The two Frankenstein's lurch into the room and start dancing. The rest of them are quick to follow, even Wayne and Hopper, after some light cajoling from Joyce, Max, and El.

It's silly fun, the perfect way for Eddie to forget about Steve and the way his ass looked in those shorts. They dance and goof around, and Thriller comes on, so they all try to do the dance, him and Nancy laughing until their stomachs hurt with their stiff-limbed moves.

The song switches to Material Girl, making El and Max screech, and the next thing he knows, Steve is in front of him, shimmying along. It's the closest they've been all night and now Eddie can see the faint eyeliner smudged along Steve's lash line. Something low and hot tightens in his core.

Steve grabs his shoulders, pulls Eddie closer. "C'mon, Munson, even you have to dance to Madonna!"

He laughs through his breathlessness, can't believe he and Steve are dancing together, not with Steve looking like that, somehow innocent, sexy, and ripe all at once.

Their eyes meet and Steve smiles all slow and dangerous, knotting up Eddie's stomach with a wild kind of anticipation. He doesn't have time to stop himself feeling it, can only give himself over to the shrinking distance between their bodies, the way Steve is warm and muscular against him.

Eddie's not hearing the music anymore, unaware of all their friends dancing close by. He's hypnotized by the dark heat in Steve's hazel eyes, lets himself clutch at Steve's hip, drag their bodies together. He feels Steve's breath escape in a quick burst, and it's a crash of cold water.

He disentangles himself, rushes out the patio doors. The night air is bracing as it chills his heated skin, his burning lungs. He takes a cigarette out of his jacket pocket, lighting it with a shaking hand.

That was too much. He let himself feel too much; want too much. Got swept away by Steve in makeup and earrings and tiny shorts. On the street, he hears children laughing, music thumping from a passing car, tries to get lost in that instead of his embarrassment. It makes him miss the slide of the patio door opening again. Doesn't realize he's not alone until he hears Steve say, "Eddie? You okay?"

He nods, but doesn't turn. "Just needed some air." He lifts the smoldering embers of his cigarette before dropping it and stomping it out.

Steve stands close enough that their shoulders bump. Eddie forces himself not to flinch away. "What are you doing out here? You'll freeze." It's not all a deflection.

"I'm fine," Steve says. "Sweatshirt." He wiggles the sleeve in Eddie's face.

"Yeah, but your legs, man. C'mon." He pulls his jacket off his shoulders. "At least cover them up a little."

Steve gives him an annoyed smile, but takes the jacket, trying to settle the leather around his legs. It's kind of a losing battle, but it makes them both laugh.

"I'm sorry," Steve says. "For back there. I shouldn't have pushed."

"Pushed?" Eddie feels like he missed a couple of stairs on his way down. "You didn't--"

Steve runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I did, Eddie. And Robin said," he sighs. "Robin said to just talk to you but I'm shit with words, so."

"So?" He faces Steve now, completely perplexed about where this is going. "I'm the one who pushed too far."

"Of course you didn't." Steve laughs a little. "I wanted to dance with you. I wanted to be close to you."

Eddie takes a step back, nervous smile on his face. "Is this some kind of weird joke?"

"What? No! Why would it be? I'm trying to say that I like you, man."

"Wha--But you're--"

"Don't--don't say popular or a jock or any of that. I'm--you know who I am, Eddie, better than most people."

"I was going to say straight."

Steve stills, blinking. "I told you I was bisexual."

"You did not!" Eddie yelps.

"I did! After went to see The Lost Boys!" He grabs Eddie's leather jacket. "I said I thought Kiefer Sutherland was sexy!"

"I thought you were being hyperbolic!"

"I wore this for you!" Steve wiggles his naked calf in Eddie's face.

"I don't like even like Wham!"

"You stared at a picture of George Michael in this outfit in one of El's Teen Beats for fifteen minutes!"

"I did NOT!" Except now that Steve's said it, Eddie has a pretty good memory of doing that very thing. "Wait. You were trying to seduce me by dressing as George Michael?"

"Like you weren't doing the same with the whole hot vampire biker thing?"

"I didn't expect it to work!"

He doesn't--will never--know who closes the distance first, but they crash together in a clash of mouths and teeth and noses. Steve's hands fist into Eddie's t-shirt, Eddie yanking at Steve's belt loops, until nothing separates them.

The kiss breaks as Steve mouths along his jaw, down his neck, and Eddie's fucking helpless at the turn of events. Never in his wildest fantasies--

"Stay tonight?" Steve asks, voice muffled against Eddie's skin.

"Are you kidding, sweetheart? I'm going to tear these shorts off with my teeth."