#Turning the gays straight: experiment

[yellowgreendinno]

My Ick

You know what gives me the ick? The fact that Fuenozel would be a much more popular ship (more than it already is, because from what I've seen, many ship them or say that it would compel them) if it was straight. Just imagine the following, because I assure you that with what society has taught us during our lives, this will look much 'cuter' and 'shippable' than the original. These are my Fuenozel headcanons that I've decided to publish with my not really OC, Nobuko Silva. It's their story, gone from 'oh my god, I love gays!' to 'ugh this is so chiché' with the simple act of genderbending one of them.

!Recommendation! - Listen to "Kyoto" by Phoebe Bridgers

Enjoy~

Imagine two little royals, one is six and the other's just barely five. A little red head boy and a tiny silver haired girl. They meet for the first time because his mom was busy, and so decided to ask her mom to keep watch of him and his big sister. They arrive to the Silva Castle, where the woman by the name of Acier Silva awaits with a little girl hiding behind her long leg. So, naturally, he goes to say hi to her the first, while his sister stays behind to chat with the beautiful mother, who seems interested in the youngling's fast whit and attitude even at such a young age. The both leave, leaving the boy and the girl on their own to play house or whatever kids their age do, said his sister. The girl is shy at first, and genuinely thinks her new playmate is a demon because- Momma are those fangs and eye marks even human?!

And so it goes, and they meet regularly. And by the age he turns ten and she's barely nine, he's managed to get the girl to see him as a friend. Her best friend, actually. But he knows she'll never admit it out loud. One day, she asked him what his dream was, not expecting his friend -his all too sensitive friend, in his opinion- to throw a tantrum, because- "Not fair! Becoming Wizard King is my dream! You stole it!" Obviously, he didn't want her to be upset, so, with a hug that held the sentiment of their pure little age, he promised that - "We can compete to see who becomes the Wizard King, I promise"

And just like that, their dynamic has changed completely. By the time he turns twelve and she's barely eleven they meet every day before lunch time at the Vermillion Estate's training grounds to fight, gaining more and more control over their mana every time they spar. It's never seriously though, they wouldn't dream of hurting each other. At least seriously. How many of her favourite blouses were torn and burnt? And just how many of his blue jackets were cut apart? How many scars does she have from third-degree burns? How times has he gone to Owen because of mercury poisoning? They're young and they're having fun, that's what matters.

But of course, things change. And soon, let's say by the time he turns thirteen and she's barely twelve, he finds himself spending more and more time inside her room than in his. They hang out, talk about their dreams, and simply are. They were friends before, but now their bond was deeper, nearer. She wouldn't find it to be a surprise to see him slumped in her own home, in her own room, in her own bed, after a long day. She would still get scared when he sometimes slammed the door open with a loud noise against the wall, his loud voice wanting to tell her something he'd done the day. And for him- he lived to see that reaction every day. If you asked him why, he would answer that- "It's hilarious!"

He starts to get scared when he turns fourteen and she's barely thirteen. She's starting to learn what stoicism is, and his sensitive crybaby of a best friend is slowly but surely slipping from his fingers. Things don't change much aside from that as time moves on from that year. But they become close, inseparable. More than they ever were before. His sister, her mother and even Lady Theresa Rapual had noticed it. There was a subtle change in his mana. Lady Theresa once told him that one's mana shifts to appease and please the ones close to oneself. That's why his mana had always been loud, fiery, dangerous, booming, wild, savage. It mirrored his sister's. But the Lady had noticed, however, that her devoted student's mana was slowly becoming more collected. It imposed respect. Beauty. The inexistent coldness of the crackling fire. But she knows better. The girl is often seen in family dinners now. She talks to his parents as if they were her own, to his sister as if she were her own. He, in exchange, finds himself holding a baby boy with white hair and blue eyes as he walks into the Silva Castle, his presence now brotherly and calmly. He finds himself witnessing a little girl with pink eyes create specks of mist with her own hands for the first time. Being without each other equals to cutting off their dominant hand now. It feels good. Lady Acier's somewhat like the non-neglecting mother he wished he had. And he found himself blushing once he barged into her room one day, and found the sight of his best friend in a towel, in the midst of styling her damp hair. He tells her what he was about to with excitement, and then goes out of the room. He tells her to meet him outside, and their sparring session goes by as it normally would. They gone to Raque and the volcano's hot springs together. And it goes on as usual - the playful pushes into the water and booming laughs. There was only one problem. The one thing that scared him. He found himself thinking about her white, damp hair and fair, wet skin afterwards.

It all changes then. By the time he's fifteen and she's barely fourteen. Acier Silva falls and so does the earth under his friend's feet - and consequently, under his. The only thing that his mother- Lady Acier had left behind was a small baby with all to big lungs. He spent the night after her death. He saw it all. The quivering mess his best friend has become. The screams. The tears, sorrow, guilt, all the hairs pulled out of spite. She wears a golden choker now. She tries to comfort her siblings, but she can't even comfort herself. So, he climbs up the tallest tour in the kingdom - to her window. And in all those years, he had never seen her cry like that. The sobs and screams. The next morning, she assured him he was better. So he left the Castle with an uneasy feeling. He doesn't see her in a year.

Then, he receives a letter. This happens probably when he turns sixteen and she's barely fifteen. He got a pretty silver decorated card with a place, a time, and a dress code - an invitation. To her Grimoire receiving ceremony. His mind runs a thousand miles a second as he dashes to his chambers to prepare himself. And now... now is when that funny feeling appears. He finds himself searching purpousely through all of his clothes to find an outfit that she'd like, he cleaned up perfectly, sprayed a bit of cologne on his neck and wrists - the one he knew she liked -, and made sure he was the most charming picture of a royal man. He wonders what she'll look like... Will she wear a Silva dress, or a tailored one? Will she wear heels? "No, she probably has grown" Will she be up for a spar, or has she turned into a pretty royal? Only now- he realises she's always been pretty. He jumps on the carriage for it to take him to the Silva Castle, the place he's avoided for a year. He feels mighty as all those faces turn to look at him, a perfect single young man who could make a match for all those noble's daughters. But it doesn't matter, because they all disappear once he makes eye contact with the person he misses the most. She wears a tailored dress. A white one, adorned with feathers. Heels hold her weight, and a silver tiara adorns her perfect white hair. He wonders if she stares at him too, watching his perfect vermillion mane wave in the open window's breeze. If she wonders what he smells like, what his now calloused hands will feel on hers after a year. They walk closer, and he sees - she hasn't grown a bit. Not in height. He looks at her closely, and notices he always knew his friend was pretty. She always knew her friend was pretty. But now? They see each other and only see the perfect image and the whole epitome of ethereal beauty. Her new Grimoire glows beside her, but he couldn't care less. He now has to look down at her, as she has to crane her neck to make eye contact with him. He places his hand on waist, her hand going to his shoulder. "May I have this dance?"

[skrunksthatwunk]

im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position

[mochapanda]

we gotta stop the "born this way" argument w/ lgbt stuff bitches are out here thinking theyre locked into a gender or sexuality like a video game. guys you can do whatever you want forever

[nyxi-pixie]

I DONT WANNA BE THE OWNER OF YOUR FANTASY!!! I JUST WANNA BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY!!!!!

[reluctantbylerblog]

it's so interesting how the "gay character falls in love with a straight character" trope is almost exclusively played as tragic but the "straight woman falls in love with a gay man" is often played for laughs and the "straight man falls in love with a lesbian" often ends with the lesbian in a relationship with the man. anyways if byler isn't endgame I will commit crimes of passion

[bisexualseraphim]

Me, struggling to maintain my principles that hating on straight people is more harmful to our community than helpful, when I see videos of young straight girls screaming MOTHER IS MOTHERING at Mitski shows:

[certifiedlucifersimp]

"Dni if you're easily offended, but also dni if you're into the queer shit cause it triggers me"

I love queer shit , I don't like discussing LGBTQIA issues (・⁠～⁠・) .

[silly-little-guyys]

help i was groomed 2yrs ago by some fucking family friend identical twin and one of them was weird and the other was chill? sorta? i mean he's 5yrs older and had a crush on a literal child and ive had both of them blocked since then but my new phone unblocked all contacts for some reason and the chill-ish reached out again and wants to be friends

send help what do i do

[neverendingford]

.

[235uranium]

bangs my head against the wall

[lizardsfromspace]

I do have to impress on anyone who wasn't around for it how batshit the reality boom of the 2000s could be. Especially on Fox.

Here are some 100% real 2000s reality shows:

Who's Your Daddy? A woman has to guess which of eight men is her biological father. One of them really is, and if she guesses right she wins $100,000. If one of the seven fake dads convinces her to guess them, he wins $100,000.

Black. White. A white family learns about racism by living a month in blackface, while a black family spends a month in whiteface. The black family was a real family, but the white family was just some actors hired to put on blackface to prove racism exists

Without Prejudice? Five strangers decide which of five strangers gets a cash prize based off clips and their answers to political questions. Cancelled when one of the choosers openly said he'd eliminate all black contestants

Welcome to the Neighborhood. Three conservative white families in a Austin subdivision decide which diverse family gets to move in. Unaired due to being literal housing discrimination

Seriously, Dude, I'm Gay. Two straight men try to pass themselves off as gay and whoever seems more gay gets $50,000. Unaired due to. Due to. Due to

Playing It Straight. A woman tries to find love among fourteen men, half of whom are straight and half of whom are gay, and she must eliminate two men she believes are gay each week. If she ended up picking a straight man in the end, they'd split a million dollars; if she picked a gay man, he'd win a million dollars

Boy Meets Boy. This was Playing It Straight but starring a gay man and he had to eliminate straight people

Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire? He wasn't a multimillionaire. He didn't even have a million dollars in liquid assets. He had a battery conviction Fox claims they didn't see. Because it was the 2000s, somehow this ended up with the woman he won being widely vilified and turned into a national punchline. How dare she complain about a massive corporation tricking her into marrying a lying abuser, good thing Matt Lauer's there to take her down a peg

The Swan. A "ugly" woman is given plastic surgery and wins a prize if she's the hottest at the end of the season. If she's not hot enough by the show's standards she's eliminated and called ugly on national TV

The Biggest Loser. Overweight people engage in competitive crash weight loss that often led to awful health complications. Studies showed basically everyone on the show regained any weight they lost once it was over and they didn't have abusive trainers demanding they take huge health risks to win a competitive weight loss competition. Like the others, this one was cancel-oh, it was a massive hit that ran for 18 seasons? Yikes!

Wife Swap and Trading Spouses. These were the same show and had a wife from one family go to another family that was different politically, racially, culturally, religiously etc. Most famous for the God Warrior

At the time people focused on the likes of Fear Factor but looking back it's wild how many of the worst shows toyed with politics. So many of these shows have a premise that's like "what if we exposed these conservatives to these people they hate?" or hyping themselves up as Important Experiments. Then they'd freak out when they got the kind of viral bigoted freakout they were trying to construct the whole time.

There were also a bunch of horrible reality shows, thankfully this time mostly unpopular, in the 2010s that based themselves around economic themes as a response to the market crash, but that's a story for another time

[pokemon-radical-red]

Why are trans men constantly gaslit about our lived experiences?

We try to talk about how we’re denied reproductive care and are treated as others in gynecological spaces. We should not be outliers or things of ridicule or disgust in these spaces. These are spaces where we should be welcomed like any cis woman would be. We are treated like this even when we need gynecological care because we are trans men.

We try to talk about how TERFs oversexualize us while infantalizing and talking down to us. They act like they have ownership of our bodies, and like we need them to guide us to “accepting” ourselves as women. They do this because we are trans men. People have started calling them TWERFs instead, because they like to believe that we are included on behalf of TERFs wanting to change our minds and bodies, and claiming that they will have open arms for us when we’re “done with our phase.” (Being sexualized is especially true of straight trans men. Gay trans men will be constantly subjected to fatphobic stereotypes, and plenty of things that are just “LIBERAL SJW,” misogynistic stereotypes turned around and used against someone who it’s slightly more acceptable to hurt. This is okay to so many people because we are trans men.)

When we point out any ways that we face oppression, we have 500 people screaming that another group has it worse. Depending on the group, they claim that we’re either privileged men or privileged little girls complaining about nothing.

There is no way for us to win in society’s eyes. We are constantly silenced and spoken over, even by some of our siblings. Trans men deserve to be respected. Trans men deserve to be understood. Trans men deserve to be accepted.

Trans men deserve to be believed.

[davidfaulkner]

Just remembered there are people that think Sam Winchester is straight.

[steddieme]

i love eddie turning into an asshole when he's gay panicking

like he tries so hard to hide his crush on steve he acts like a total dickhead. and steve knows eddie has a crush on him because his years of dating experience don't fail him, so he's very confused and can't decide if eddie is in denial or ashamed of his feelings for him, but he's a little sad either way. eddie just thinks steve is straight and is embarrassed he has a crush in general and doesn't know how to act lmao

like someone will ask something about steve and he'll answer in a milisecond and then look disgusted and make fun of whatever steve fact he just blurted out

jonathan: what's steve's favorite color?

eddie in 0.1 seconds: yellow

eddie immediately after for no reason: which is such an ugly color. who even likes yellow ugh

meanwhile he's yelling at himself in his head to shut the fuck up because he loves when steve wears yellow

robin, who didn't try to answer to see what eddie does: *amused and offended at the same time*

steve just stands in the background all confused and a little sad, because he's pretty sure eddie gives him heart-eyes every time he wears his yellow sweater. so what the fuck is he on about...

or when anyone in any way implies he likes steve he'll turn into his biggest hater

robin: you're so gone for him, man

eddie: what are you talking about? i fucking hate steve, god, he's so annoying

robin: ... i didn't even say steve's name, how did you know i was talking about him

eddie:

eddie: well, i just wanted you to know i hate him, which is unrelated to this imaginary guy you're talking about...

steve is in the break room eavesdropping going what the fuck, because they literally fell asleep cuddling last night

it all comes to a head when they all go out to watch eddie perform at the hideout with corroded coffin. steve wears his hottest outfit, eddie can't stop staring at him through the whole show. afterwards when they congratulate him, eddie turns to steve and tells him he looks awful. and steve just has enough and grabs eddie by the wrist and drags him out of the bar, into an alley.

steve: okay, what the fuck is your problem?

eddie, scared and turned on: huh?

steve: you keep insulting me and it's starting to really get on my nerves, so tell me what the fuck is going on

eddie:

eddie: look

steve: yeah?

eddie: ugh, whatever, okay, i have like the most embarrassing, ginormous crush on you, okay?

steve: yeah, i know that. so why are you being an asshole?

eddie: you know that?? what the fuck, how??

steve: eddie, you're like the least subtle person i know

eddie: fair... i don't know i just panicked because i didn't want you to know

steve: and your solution was to be a dick?

eddie: when you put it that way, it does sound bad

steve: you're a fucking idiot, i can't believe i like you

eddie: you like me???

steve: a fucking idiot, i swear!!!

then they make out and live happily after

not before robin kicks eddie's ass a little, though

[oh-no-its-bird]

Special edition Christmas fic where genin aged team 7 decide hatch their newest plot to see Kakashi's face: using mistletoe

Because if they trap him under it with someone, he'll surely have to take his mask off to give them a kiss! ...Right?

(Sasuke thinks this is fucking stupid)

The entire thing is just a fucking slapstick comedy as Kakashi goes "what's the funniest way I can go along with this." And decides he will in fact lower his mask and give a kiss to everyone the kids corner him with. But only when they look away / blink / their view is obstructed

The kids are chasing him around with a string on a stick w mistletoe tied to the end of it, and every time they miss seeing the kiss (and his face) hey scream even louder

Reactions range from "???!?????!?!??????" (Iruka) to straight up passing out (Gai) to laughing hysterically with a bright red face (Kurenai) to just sort of freezing up like a deer in headlights (Asuma)

Kakashi, having way too much fun, makes a shadow clone to pull the Sukea thing again. And the kids get "Sukea" on board, thinking he can take a photo the second Kakashi pulls his mask down for a smooch. Kakashi has WAY too much fun, essentially role-playing with himself and swooning dramatically. Then, at the end, Sukea goes, "Oh no the camera's memory card is gone, Kakashi must have stolen it :((" and the kids all scream in agony

They try to get him to describe Kakashi's face and Sukea gets all coy and goes "umm... its kind of... indescribable?"

(They get another person to try to snap a photo of him but they turn out to be a freezer so they don't take the picture. When the kids harass them ab it they just giggle a little maniacally ab his face)

This does escalate to doing this shit w enemy nin btw. Funniest option is obviously Tobi but I'm also raising u a really freaked the fuck out Itachi looking like an angry, surprised cat after Kakashi gives him a peck on the cheek (Sasuke is gonna fucking KILL HIMSELF)

Obito gets the full makeout session bc its funniest.

He shows up looking for a dramatic fight but like halfway through his villain speech, team 7 dangles the mistletoe over him, and he's so thrown off guard he just kinda "???? excuse me I'm kind of in the middle of—"

Kakashi, who is a) in too deep to stop the bit now, and b) recognizes a good way to throw off an enemy, fucking launches himself at him, pushes Tobi's mask up just enough to kiss, and starts to make out w him

His back is turned to the kids and they're all scrambling to try to catch a single glimpse, but he keeps his back to them as they scream and run around (thus prolonging the kiss)

Kakashi is totally checked out of the actual kiss, this is all fun and games to him. Obito is having a fucking religious experience wrapped in a manic episode flavored internal breakdown topped off with a very loud high pitched kettle noise that may or may not be confined to his brain

This lasts for like a solid minute before Kakashi releases him and readjust his mask, pats him on the shoulder and goes "sorry about that teehee"

Obito just kinda 🧍‍♀️ and they stare at eachother for another solid minute as team 7 screams and cries and throws up in the bg

Kakashi, seeing the opportunity to leave and avoid what was for sure going to be a potentially devistating fight: "cool. So, anyways. Bye lmao." And runs for it w his students

Obito is left tanding still as a statue in the middle of the clearing. After like 20 seconds alone he starts hyperventilating.

Merry Christmas everybody 👍

[sweetlady555]

QUICK SYNASTRY OBSERVATIONS^_^

Venus 1H Synastry is nooo joke aside from the strong very obvious chemistry and attraction, if you or them identify as straight yall could literally turn gay for each other 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🤣

Moon 1H Synastry is NAWTTT for the avoidants 😔!!! House person could really depend on moon person for validation and theres so much hidden things in this relationship like secrets and resentment </3 this could depend on the entire chart though!!! the good cute side though is that you both could lowkey have feelings for each but never telling each other because you both just know…

Mars 1H Synastry is lowkey so attractive like aside from the strong physical attraction, mars will literally do anything to please or meet house persons needs or desires 😭 i told this guy who had his mars in my 1h that i really liked his paintings and if he could make one for me and that boy had his gloves and canvas out the next hour😭🤣

Mars 8H Synastry not gonna lie i know some of yall be loving mars in the 8h synastry but this synastry placement irked me ouwwttttt overtime😭 as house person in this situation mars person was FEINING for me he was a real freakazoid like the freakiest of them all he was basically FERAL and i was chill with it for a few months but it seemed like thats all he wanted to do and its like can we just talk tonight❤️? Mars will not understand this because theyll percieve almost anything house person does as provocative and sexually enticing but this could go for both of you guys so idk🥴

Pluto 7H Synastry is cute at first because pluto will be so infatuated and interested in house person, youll notice pluto person will be the first to look at your stories without even following you sometimes and its like aw they must rly like me imma let them be :) but behind the scenes theyre checking your social media almost 24/7 looking at all your interactions online and probably will lowkey start stalking all of ur friends too 😭 the pluto person will do this without house person knowing (if theyre sneaky enough) feeling the need to anticipate the house persons actions or feelings … “i just wanna talk and conversate cause I usually just stalk and yk masturbate and I finally got the courage to ask you on a date so if you say yes, let the future fall into place, cunt” (she by tyler the creator resembling pluto 7h synastry👀👁️)

North Node 2H Synastry is lowkey cute in a way bc this is a “i gotta get rich” after looking at house person once😭! north node will literally see house person as this rare beautiful diamond that they wont wanna lose and they will let house person know about this too! but this is just the good side of this placement bc this could also lead to self worth issues feeling like u guys arent worth each other leading to insecurities showing out in this relationship🤬

Uranus 10H Synastry is lowkey a shocker to house person from my experience when it came to a certain career path, in my case fashion, uranus really changed my perception on it 😭 showing me the true reality of the fashion world and its like uhhh idk if i wanna do this anymore☺️! but at the same time uranus person could really be inspiring to house person because of how unconventional and unique they are! i also noticed uranus person could really influence house person to be unconventional and unique aswell! house person could go thru a lot of sudden changes with uranus person when it comes to their career and how they end up being percieved in person or online if this relationship ends up being public.

Sun 2H Synastry is nice to have with someone because sun person will motivate house person to improve in any area of their life they will be on you too (for good obviously)😖😩 Sun person will wanna see house person thrive financially and just in general giving house person opportunities for this. There is potential jealousy on both sides mostly house person because of achievements, wealth and values literally can be anything 😣