#Tumblr said no fuck you so I'm quite mad

[mushroom-for-art]

So was thinking about heights and I-

Absolutely cackling oh my godddddd XD @seasidemew wow I am wheezing I'm so sorry May you are just short for your species surrounded by behemoths. Tho I measure my twos from the head so May would have a lil extra height for the horns but lmao still straight up arm rest she's so smolll XD

[vivwritesfics]

Could you do fic for Fernando Alonso with wife reader? Just him staring at her whenever she was around. And everyone could see that he was crazy about her. And they tease him about it. With “Every time I look at you, I think I fall a little more in love.” and "The more I look at you, the more I think we need to leave.” Just something fluff and romantic. Maybe a little spicey. Add anything you want. Thanks!! :))

I wrote this once and tumblr ate it and i'm mad, which is why this is so short

18+ themes but no smut

"Nando, stop," she insisted through a giggle as she tried to hide her face from his gaze.

Fernando grabbed her hands and lowered them. God, she was so pretty. He quite literally couldn't stop staring at her. At her pretty face. It had been bad before he got down onto one knee, before he slipped that ring onto her finger, before he fucked that baby into her.

He couldn't stop himself. Even sitting beside her, outside of that café, he couldn't stop himself.

Fernando looked away for just one second. He looked down at her hand, where it rested on her bump, and returned his gaze to her face. His gorgeous fucking wife. He loved her so damn much.

His hand settled on her thigh and squeezed. The breath she sucked in was shuddering as Fernando moved his hand upwards. It was teasing, and he knew it. But he didn't much care.

"Every time I look at you, I can't help but fall a little more in love," he whispered and leaned in to kiss her. They'd hardly been apart since the day they married; it was a miracle Fernando could pull himself away from her long enough to race.

It didn't just happen outside of cute little cafe's in Italy.

No, even while Fernando was in the paddock, getting on with media duties, he was staring at his wife. Trying not to ignore the interviewer, looking past the interviewer as he looked at her. She was standing there, hand holding her bump.

As much as Fernando wished she'd just go and sit in his drivers room, but she'd insisted on standing and watching.

The moment Fernando was released from media duties, he marched towards her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

It was one of those kisses that had the two of them closing their eyes, her hands tangling in his hair as she melted into his touch. "Hermosa," he whispered against her lips. "The more I look at you, the more I think we need to head back to the hotel room," he said as he cradled her bump.

Fuck, he wanted her constantly full of him.

[lune-redd]

Hello, it's Lelly.

As you may know, I have recently deactivated my Twitter account. A lot of people are speculating I left because I was being harassed for drawing my older depiction of Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls as chubby. However... that's not the direct reason I left. In fact, I didn't really see much of the comments of folks on there getting riled up about it as I muted the tweet the morning I saw that it blew up. I was only merely aware of it all by being told about it from friends, with there being some other users on the site making other really fuckin' stupid comments about my art.

This does however lead into why I actually left Twitter, and it's because of Twitter's overall toxic nature. Overtime, I've really gotten sick of how absolutely revolting Twitter has become to experience. The site is basically built around dunk culture and doom scrolling. You know that one tweet of someone making an example of Twitter's utter stupidity by using pancakes and waffles as an example?

I bring this up because I think this fits my point about how Twitter has this thing of assuming the absolute worst about the most insignificant things, even the most innocuous. The "Bubbles obesity" comments weren't the only stupid comments that came out of that post. I also got a quote retweet that I was "forcefully feminizing Buttercup", even though the whole fucking point of that drawing was to depict a usually tough character in an unusual situation for her. I have also gotten stupid comments on other drawings though, like the one where Mitch pushes Buttercup down for trying to look taller than she is and I got called a misogynist for it, though I'm pretty sure that one was bait (Twitter users have a tough time figuring out what is and isn't bait, it's dunk culture that I'm about to talk about really doesn't help this).

The site's dunk culture is also really fuckin' bad. Quote retweets are a disease, as unlike Tumblr's reblog comments, quote retweets count as a different post. Someone disagrees with you? Show your audience how stupid they are on your page! Hey, are you trying not to see the most abhorrent racist statement imaginable? Well TOO BAD FUCK YOU here's a le epic own giving them all the attention in the world even though one of the most common internet rules are DON'T FEED THE FUCKIN' TROLLS YOU IDIOT. Oh hey, are you trying to explain how you prefer a certain artistic choice over another in something you like? Well you're a deranged ungrateful whiny nitpicker, get owned!

I've seen so many of my friends be belittled for simply discussing their artistic preferences of things they're passionate about. I had a friend who said he prefers the original Crash Bandicoot design over his redesigned look in Crash 4, and had legitimate reasons for why he felt that way (even if he didn't really explain them clearly), and he got dunked for it which made me mad. I'm sick and tired of it all. The reaction to my art is only a mere example of the shit I despise about that site.

I had been planning on leaving Twitter for quite some time, as my follower count was growing nearer and nearer to 10K. I had planned on leaving after 10K followers because that amount was wayyyy too fuckin big for me to handle. I'm a young and growing lad, and I felt it wouldn't be good for my mental sanity to handle all that, so I dipped. The amount of attention I've been getting is simultaneously both wonderful and extremely overwhelming. Even the explosion of new followers and asks on here is quite the load! (Seriously, calm the fuck down y'all) I am very grateful for all the supportive asks I've gotten even though I won't be able to answer them all, thank you all so very much.

tl;dr I didn't leave Twitter because I was being harassed or anything, but rather because of the site's overall toxic and belittling environment.

Adios.

-Lelly

[littlefireball]

Well you haven't made a Seongjoong x Y/N smut before 😅 1. How about Y/n is their young teacher and Seongjoong are their students (Y/N is that one teacher that everyone thirsts over) Seonghwa is the quiet kid and Hongjoong is his outgoing bestfriend. 2. Seongjoong is in an omegaverse setting at idols and Y/n is their choreographer for a Matz song. (She's a regular choreographer) 3. Seongjoong is at the bar and they ask if y/n if she's open minded

This is my first time requesting for a smut on tumblr or anywhere. I rlly hope this makes it. No pressure take ur time ik books take time to write and i love ur header thingies

thank you for your request! this article is the 3rd one and i add some settings on it

ᴍᴀᴛᴢ|ʟᴏᴠᴇʟʏ ᴘᴇᴛ (ᴍ)

ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ ꜱᴇᴏɴɢᴊᴏᴏɴɢ x ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ|ᴛʜʀᴇᴇꜱᴏᴍᴇ|ᴜɴᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx|ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴅʀɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ|ʙʀᴇᴀꜱᴛ ᴘʟᴀʏ|ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ (??)|ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀɪɴɢ|ᴏᴠᴇʀꜱᴛɪᴍᴜʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ|ɪᴍᴘʀɪꜱᴏɴ|

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.2ᴋ

Vampire series: San

© Pinterest

They were hungry. They needed something sweet, something delicious to satisfy their perverted desire.

Yet, it was hard. The noxious scent of most humans repulsed them; their blood, far from fresh, bordered on disgusting. Even animal blood, once a palatable substitute, now left Seonghwa and Hongjoong weary. The prospect of hunting human prey, unvisited for months, drove them to the brink of madness.

"I gotta be crazy," remarked Hongjoong, the taste of his drink doing little to quell the emptiness within him. No measure of alcohol could divert his attention from the relentless hunger and thirst.

"We are left with no choice," Seonghwa's lament was tinged with resignation. "Perhaps you should choose that woman, if you can stomach it."

Inclining his head in the direction indicated by Seonghwa, Hongjoong locked eyes with a sexy woman. "Seriously?" he scoffed incredulously. Her blood, he discovered upon smelling it, was anything but enticing. "She appears quite taken with you. Her gaze remains fixed upon you."

"Get off." Hongjoong averted his gaze, eschewing further eye contact. "She's coming." Hongjoong stared at Seonghwa, who emitted a chuckle. "Hey, boy." The woman propped herself against the bar counter, making an overt display of her alluring figure. "Care to join me for a drink?" "Nope, never, thanks.."

"Oh, come on~ It's gonna be so much fun~" With a firm grip on Hongjoong's arm, the woman insisted. "I've said! Just let me go or I'll─" Seonghwa promptly intervened, preventing any potential loss of control by silencing Hongjoong with his hand. "Sorry, he's drunk." Seonghwa offered an apologetic smile, and the woman retreated in a huff.

"What are you doing?! I could have killed her." "Calm down, Hongjoong. Do you wish to be exposed?" "Tsk…No matter how many hunters emerge, I can kill them all." Indeed, there were hunters within the city skilled in tracking down vampires. They must be careful not to overuse their powers lest they be discovered.

"I am not ready to meet my demise just yet." Seonghwa remarked, taking a sip of his beverage. "Shall we leave? This place has grown boring." "Indeed." As they set down their wine glasses, a seductive aroma wafted through the air, enveloping them like a scorching wave.

"Hey, Y/N~You finally~here~" "Wh─why are you drinking that much?!" You came to the aid of your friend, the sexy woman, as she stumbled. "I'm not~drunk~"she slurred. You couldn't help but roll your eyes. Today marked the fourth time this week that you had been called to help her.

"Goodness, just go back and don't drink anymore." "No!I have to drink with those two handsome guys~" Turning your head in the direction she indicated, you were met with Seonghwa and Hongjoong's intense gaze. Oh your friend was right, they were the most handsome men you have ever seen.

'Oh shit…did she do something bad to them? Fuck!' You sighed, wishing you could just leave your friend and escape. However, there was no choice but to settle her on the couch and offer them an apology.

"Hmm, hello?" The more you gazed on them, the closer they came to the brink of losing control. Your blood was incredibly alluring, and the delightful flavor enticed them to sink their teeth into your neck. However, they tried their best to resist the temptation. "I am her friend and have come to apologize if she has done anything to upset you…"

"Oh yes, she did something that angered us." Hongjoong said, putting his hands in his trouser pockets, feigning dissatisfaction. "Well, she sexually harassed us."

'What the fuck…' You murmured under your breath. "Um…what can I do to make it up to you? I know just saying sorry is─""Actually, we wanted to just forget about it, but if you want to make it up to us, we are open to that," Seonghwa added.

"I am Seonghwa and he is Hongjoong." You nodded.

"What's your name, lady?"

"Y/N." "Good."

"So, what do you want me to do?" You asked, feeling nervous.

"Let me ask you a question first, Y/N." Seonghwa approached you to meet your gaze at eye level. "Are you open minded?"

—------

You found yourself in a kneeling position on the luxurious sofa, with a silk blindfold covering your eyes. This room was the furthest from the bustling bar, where the distant music and muffled breathing only serve to heighten your sense of unease, causing your heart to quicken its pace.

"Raise up your hand, honey,"Seonghwa's command was followed by a firm grab on the hem of your T-shirt, prompting you to comply with his request to undress. As he couldn't help but express his admiration for your beauty, you whined at shyness.

"Who do you want in the back?" Hongjoong's whispered question against your neck was followed by a trail of kisses. "It doesn't matter…" As you naturally tilted your head to allow him to give you a wet kiss, the excitement grew. "Good, babe. I would be at the front." Hongjoong positioned you against Seonghwa's naked chest after he moved to your back, the sudden touch of skin sending a shiver down your spine.

"Honey, do you know what blood play is?" "Blood play?" "Yah, some kind of knife play. It's a little bit painful but you will love it." Seonghwa whispered softly against your temple, his warm breath caressing your skin. "Just like so." His fingers glided down to your forearm, delicately grazing it with his sharp nail, causing a small trickle of blood to emerge.

You couldn't help but let out a sharp intake of breath at the sensation, the mixture of pain and pleasure sending shivers down your spine. It was as if you thrived on the intensity of conflicting emotions washing over you in that moment.

"It's blood…" His left hand brushed your arm, wiping off the red blood on the surface, leaving shallow blood marks. Their eyes were flashing red light, tinged with hunger and thirst.

"Get ready?" Hongjoong asked as his hand sneaked to your panties. "Yes, please." Seonghwa lifted your ass up to literally rip off your panties, guiding his cock towards your soaked hole. "Take a seat, babe." With a firm grab on your shoulder and waist, you followed his lead to sink down on his arched cock.

"Oh fuck…" "It's big, isn't it?" You wrapped around Hongjoong's shoulder as a support and started to bounce slowly. Adjusting his size was harder than your imagination, you could feel every vein of his cock each time you sank down. "Our baby is doing well," Hongjoong's words made your head spin in pleasure, and you moved faster.

"Gosh, you're amazing." Seonghwa pushed forward to make his tip meet your soft flesh, making your body bounce up and down from his movement. "Hwa…" "Don't forget about me, babe." Hongjoong cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours. He appeared to lavish all of his affection into the kiss, caressing and nibbling on your lips. He drew you nearer, prolonging the intense and romantic kiss, drawing out the sweetness from your mouth, gently teasing your tongue.

Yet, everything changed when this lovemaking became intense.

Without a warning, Seonghwa sank his teeth into your neck, causing crimson liquid to trickle down, prompting you to bite down on your lip in a valiant effort to withstand the agony. Your fists clenched tightly, imprinting deep crescent shapes into your palms.

"Shit…hwa…" "Relax." Seonghwa attempted to divert your attention by fucking you harder. His movement was no mercy. He positioned you to lean forward to allow him to pump into you with a new angle. His hardened tip collided with your soft flesh crazily, producing a loud skin slapping sound and making you moan without care.

"Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!" The bright red blood flows down your shoulders to your chest, a sight both terrifying and mesmerizing. "Let me taste you." Hongjoong shifted his attention to your bosom, inhaling the intoxicating fragrance he craved. He immersed himself in your curves, indulging in nibbles and kisses that produced lewd saliva noises.

The symphony of moans and screams intertwined as the excruciating sensation of the bite became increasingly unbearable. A foreboding sense of dread envelops your heart, as if you were the coveted feast they had been anticipating for so long. The concept of blood play was merely a facade for their insatiable hunger.

You had to leave, but how?

"I…I'm gonna cum,hwa." "But I'm not yet, what should we do then?" You wanted to escape but they grabbed you tightly. How could you fight back these two men?

"Babe, there is something you have never tried. You'll like it." "No, please." "There is no way to go back."

Hongjoong delicately lifted your bra, his lips caressing your breasts as his tongue danced around your nipples, leaving a glistening trail of desire. With a hunger that knew no bounds, he claimed your lips in a passionate kiss, his touch igniting a fire within you. His hands explored the softness of your thighs, each caress sending shivers down your spine and quickening your pulse.

"Please, no more." You whispered between the kisses but were ignored as if they were totally lost in this love making.

"I heard…the sound of blood flowing…" He parted from your lips and trailed down, searching for something he desired for so long. Suddenly, with a fierce intensity, he tore open your chest, causing you to cry out in agony as your life force drained away.

"SHIT!!"

Hongjoong eagerly drank from your blood, and crimson liquid droplets trickled from the corner of his mouth, sliding down his throat as he continuously swallowed. Seonghwa let out a deep growl as he saw how Hongjoong sucked your delicious blood.

"Damn!" Seonghwa indulged in sinking his teeth into your neck, leaving behind a trail of deep, passionate bites and kisses, adorning your skin with an array of purple marks. "It hurts, please stop!" Your desperate pleas fell on deaf ears. No amount of tears will bring you salvation.

"So sweet! It's the taste of this blood! The blood I've been looking for!" Hongjoong found himself drawn closer to you, his gaze locked on the tantalizing blood pulsing in your veins. The crimson liquid flowed freely from the wound, leaving a mark on both your skin and his lips.

"Gotta mark you and you would be our own pet." "What…?" Hongjoong pushed you back, making you and Seonghwa lay back to the sofa. Guiding his cock to rub against your clit, he thrusted in your cunt without a second thought.

"Fuck!!" You arched your back as the new sensation became almost overwhelming. Their manhoods were divided by the thin wall of your lower body, allowing them to sense each other's movements with every powerful thrust. "This is truly remarkable," Hongjoong murmured as he skillfully moved his hips, ensuring that he reached the most sensitive parts of your body, bringing you to the peak of pleasure.

Hongjoong fucked you at an inhuman pace as if he never tired. On the other hand, Seonghwa maintained a rhythmic thrust, feeling how your tight ass sucked him in. The warmth of your walls drove Hongjoong crazy. He could feel the heat concentrated at the tip, hitting your sweet spot, and a numbing sensation made him moan softly.

You tried to push him away but you couldn't. The rapid depletion of blood was swifter than anticipated, leading to a gradual decrease in body temperature, a foggy state of consciousness, akin to a delicate mist, and a weightiness settling upon your eyelids. Your limbs grew increasingly weak, and you could only slump onto Seonghwa, like a puppet manipulated by them.

"Need to cum, now." Hongjoong huffed, panting heavily as his thrust became slippery. "Me too." Seonghwa chimed in. And you moaned weakly as you were almost unconscious.

What you could remember before the darkness enveloped you was the warm liquid soaked your cunt and hole, and there was something hot on your nape.

It hurts.

—----

You awaken from your slumber, feeling disoriented. "What is happening…?" Struggling to sit up, you realized your limbs are restrained by metal cuffs. "This can't be real…"

"Are you awake?" A chilling voice echoed nearby, making you tremble. "Don't be afraid, dear. Everything is fine." As footsteps drew nearer, a slender figure emerged. Seonghwa's eyes gleam red, fixated on you like a predator eyeing its prey.

"Release me." Fear grips you as you attempt to retreat, only to be met by the unyielding cold wall behind you. "No, my dear. You belong to us now." Another voice, belonging to Hongjoong, rang in your ears. "You are ours, and you shall not escape." Before you could protest, he knelt beside you and sunk his teeth into your neck, eliciting cries of agony.

"Easy, Hongjoong. Be careful not to kill her." Seonghwa took your hand and bit your waist with a great force. "Dear, you're so sweet. I really like you." As he licked your wounds, a mix of numbness and pain overwhelmed you, stealing away your consciousness. Helpless, you could only gaze blankly at the ceiling as they had their way with you.

"So good, such a lovely pet."

[rapunzelbro]

Comforting Velvette as her S/O.

So tumblr broke, this request was vanished from my profile. So to the anon who requested I’m so sorry I hope you find this The prompts were “I don’t want to be alone right now” and another I forgot. Enjoy!

Masterlist Taglist

It would take forever to establish a relationship with Velvette let's be honest here.

She doesn't want anyone to see her in a vulnerable state, she doesn't want anyone thinking she is weak and needed a partner

That was until she met you, something about you was just different to her.

You were soft spoken, minded your own business but wouldn't stay quiet when someone said something that set you off.

Like to piss you off? Man you'd set whoever pissed you off, straight and they wouldn't speak, or argue with you again.

And your designs were amazing decent.
Velvette rarely had to make any changes when it came to your sketches

And your stitch work? Fucking flawless compared to the others. Who just were you?

She would try to stalk you on social media to find out you had no account, or one she could find, with a little help from Vox she did eventually find it.

It was a completely anonymous account, with a rather decent following Like probably 10k?

Impressive but not compared to Velvette

Your account was hiding your identity by a random username that had no mention of you in the slightest, and no posts that involved photos of you. Just sketches, sheet music photos, and the occasional video of someone singing, which she assumed was you.

But what amused her more than anything, was seeing multiple sketches of her on your page.

You captured her beautifully, didn't make her look bad in any sort of way, it was so simple, but yet so beautiful.

Velvette definitely sereenshotted the sketeh

She never would have thought you admired her outside the work place. Let alone be a fucking singer too? What couldn't you do?

She'd call you into her office the next day and you'd be so fucking anxious that you fucked up somehow as you knocked on the door

"Yeah yeah come in"

You'd take a deep breath calming your nerves down before you went inside, closing the door behind you as you walked to her desk, she was still looking down at her phone

"You wanted to see me Miss?"

The second she heard your voice she looked up from her phone, placing it down and grabbing a piece of paper from the inside of her desk before placing it down

Shit

“Would you care to explain this?"

Your cheeks instantly flared red in embarrassment as you realized just what it was

The sketches of her that you drew

"I..I'm so sorry I promise it won't happen again I just well I-“

"Oh quit your yapping I'm not mad you idiot"

She instantly shuts you down slight irritation on her face, while confusion struck yours as you remained silent

"I'm promoting you to head designer, don't fuck this up. Shoo get back to it"

What the fuck? No literally, what the fuck?

You left as soon as she shooed you away, you were beyond confused as to why she did what she did, but you'd never question her.

Months after the promotion you and Velvette would become closer, considering how the two of you now worked closer together since you directly reported to her now.

Velvette wasn't as harsh as she usually was to you, she listened to your suggestions and took your thoughts seriously.

Velvette would ask you to go to a fashion show with her Saying it was to get another eye on the new trends, but you and her both indirectly knew it was her asking you in a date, which you obvious said yes.

After that point you were would date in private If anyone were to question you two?
They'd be instantly fired on spot or killed. She didn't need anyone peaking into her personal life

Would introduce you to the other Vee's later on

"She is mine don't try and start no fucking deals with her, shes off the market"

If she didn't say that Valentino would have snatched your ass for himself. And man did he want to. Fucking creep

You two often watched tv together in her room in private, or you would sketch her, she absolutely loved that she was your muse. She would always have sketch books and the highest quality of materials.

You stayed with her during the exterminations that happened for your protection too, she wouldn't let you not stay with her if you were killed she'd fucking lose her mind

It's been almost a year since the two of you have been together privately, with the exception of Vox and Val

You'd be working late at the office sewing a new design when you'd get a text from her

"Y/n doll. Can come back to our room whatever you're doing can wait"

"Be there in five"

Oh and you moved in with her. Per her request of course.

You finish up what you were doing before heading back, knocking on the door to your shared room

When you don’t hear a response you grow concerned, as you open the door.

You see Velvette on the bed on your shared bed on her side. She quickly sits up hearing the door open

"Vox I told you to fuck off! Wait Y/n"

Her hard glare softens, she can tell she was crying

"Velv.. are you okay? What happened?"

You quickly made your way over to her

"I don't want to be alone right now, doll"

She simply says before you instantly hug her.
Her returning the hug as you two just sit there, her quietly sobbing as you gently run your fingers through her soft curls, humming gently to her, trying to comfort her the best you can

You two are like that before she pulls away, keeping a hand in yours as you wipe the tears that remained trying your best to not smear her makeup anymore than it already was.

After a while she finally talks about what was causing her pain.

She might not be open to a lot of people

But damn do you help her a lot.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Was I the asshole for slightly poisoning my sister's ex-boyfriend? This was back in high school so I don't remember all the details but here goes. My big sister was dating a guy who was pressuring her into sex in... I think this was her junior year? So she was 16 at the time. She said no in no uncertain terms, and he bitched and whined about it. Then our step-grandfather died and the funeral was being held quite a ways up north so we took a leave of absence from school to attend the funeral. Turns out while she was away, her boyfriend fucked one of her friends instead, and then was terribly shocked that she was pissed and dumped him the instant she got back. As if genuinely confused why she might be mad that he cheated on her, with her friend, WHILE SHE WAS AT OUR GRANDFATHER'S FUNERAL.

So anyway he was on a sports team and I also had after-school programs near the court where he plays outdoors. They all had their water bottles off to the side of the court, and I could recognize his easily enough.

Little laxatives, yknow. The dissolving kind. I'm just saying, some people deserve to shit themselves in public, and with him being in a sport played out of doors, far from any bathrooms... certain outcomes are likelier than others.

I know what I did was an asshole move, but tumblr, do you think he had it coming? Justified or not?

What are these acronyms?

[twstbookclub]

Love in the dark

Summary: Having feelings for a delinquent is... hard. Having feelings for said delinquent and changing him for the better is worse. You thought he would've forgotten you, but even with your feelings in the dark, you had hope that he would. Pronouns: Gender Neutral POV: 2nd Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️ Tags: Deuce Spade, Deuce angst. very light angst, delinquent Deuce, open-ended, I could follow this up one day... could Word count: 3,458

A/N: I was g o i n g to post this one after the Parallel Lines fic, but I was way too excited to post about Epel and Azul angst(I was so proud of them), that I put this on the back burner. I know we had a 2 week post period and now I've left it for a month yes I KNOW, but I was trying to let this one take a while to post, because honestly... we have no content right now.

On a technical scale, we do, at least I do, I have like 2 of them in the basement ready to be edited and like 4 as WIPs, and I'm honestly writing other fics that aren't twst related(heh follow my personal Tumblr), but there's still things to do plus life stuff SO ty all for being patient !

Your home wasn't exactly in the best neighborhood. You had a parent who was barely around due to work, which meant you were home alone most of the time. You had some good entertainment, though. These poorly built apartments had thin walls, and you lived beside the one family that was a complete 180 from yours. 

The Spade family.

You didn't know them enough, but only a mother and son existed. It was the home of a short-tempered woman and a teen delinquent, but you knew the teen.

Deuce Spade, notorious for constantly yelling and leaving the house in the middle of the night after an argument, was the main piece for your noisy neighborhood. His mother had blue hair with blonde highlights, yet Deuce only had blond hair. He used to have naturally blue hair, though.

I mean, he is a delinquent.

His mother was sweet and patient despite her son's behavior. She made sure you would eat, have clean clothes, and a clean uniform. She was practically like your mother. She would sometimes invite you to stay over for dinner, and why not accept such a kind offer?

Plus, you liked seeing Deuce. The first time you saw him was the first day of middle school, and you caught him as you were leaving your home, his teal eyes stopping on yours for a few seconds. After the first day, you went home to see his mother waiting for you right by your front door.

That was when she found out that you often stayed alone at home, and she offered you a snack of peeled apples. Since then, she would sometimes knock on your door to ask to come over for dinner or help her run an errand, which resulted in you staying over.

This was one of those times. She invited you to have dinner with her since her son had left the house again, but you were studying at the table since your home was too quiet to concentrate.

“Uhm, Miss Spade—”

The door suddenly opened, revealing a beat-up Deuce with a scowl and torn-up clothes. His eyes instantly landed on you, and his scowl grew worse.

“What the fuck are you doing in my house—”

Smack!

Deuce's mom suddenly hit the back of his head with a rolled-up newspaper, with a scowl on her own face. “Don't curse in my house, you rude brat. They are my guest, and you will respect them.”

Deuce held the back of his head with a wince and growled, looking towards his mother. “Lady—!”

Smack!

“Quit that. I am your mother and not the one you're mad at. Leave the anger outside and get showered for dinner,” she said, dropping the newspaper on the counter to finish with dinner.

“Sweetie, could you help him out with those wounds?”

You perked up at Miss Spade calling you, and then you nodded and closed your books before standing up.

“Oh, and one more thing,” she says happily, smiling at you. “Just call me Dylla. No need for formalities.”

“Oh–Dylla…” You said carefully with a nod, then smiled back and went with Deuce for him to get ready for dinner. This wasn't the first time you've witnessed this; you already knew the familiar routine after doing this a few times.

You grabbed the first-aid kit and followed Deuce to his bedroom, being stopped at the door. “You thinkin’ to replace me as my mom's kid or somethin’? You got your own lonely house next door.”

You stared at Deuce for a moment and sighed before you smiled at him. “Not at all. Being around a good person feels nice, but you take that for granted,” you spoke confidently, giving him a pat on the cheek and handing the first-aid kit to him.

“If you want to be rude, tend to your own wounds,” you said and walked off, returning to the table to study and do homework despite hearing Deuce groan and slam his door shut.

When Deuce came back, he heard how much his mother was laughing with you and serving you a bowl of food with rice. Dylla hadn’t laughed that hard in ages, and you were all smiles, too. Deuce knew all too well how his mom had taken a liking to the neighbor’s child due to how much time they spent alone, but this was excessive.

You turned and saw Deuce standing there, and then Dylla served the rest of the bowls so everyone could eat. “I don’t understand why you want them here so much. Can’t they ask their own parents to cook for ‘em?” Deuce mumbled, sitting in his spot at the table.

“Because this is my house, kid. You are my child, and they are a child that needs care. Now, stop hiding that kind heart and eat,” she said, followed by Deuce groaning and starting to eat his dinner.

It was quiet, most likely because of your presence and Deuce's tension with his mother.  After everyone finished eating, you helped with storing food away while he washed the dishes. Dylla was gone to buy fruit and snacks, leaving you and her son in awkward positions.

“Hey?” Deuce called, his voice a bit guilty and quiet. The sudden voice spooked you, making you instantly freeze and look at him.

“Hmm? What’s up?”

Deuce turned off the sink and looked at you, looking regretful. “So, I had a pretty big fight with my mom and, you know, left the house. A few days ago, though, I heard her talkin’ to my grandma about how she thinks I turned out like this 'cause she didn’t raise me right or somethin’. So, I kinda wanna ask you for a favor.”

You looked at Deuce with a tilted head, shocked about how he was different after just a little while of being able to think. “Uhh, what’s the favor?”

“Help me get my grades up. I—” Deuce stopped, looking away from you and taking a breath. “I do love my mom, and I can’t stand seeing her cry like that over me. It ain’t her fault I became such a douche, either! I just—I don’t know.”

His statements and requests made you stop to think about what the hell he was saying to you right now. 

“I’ll do it,” you responded, giving him an honest smile. His eyes lit up and he grabbed you by the shoulders, getting excited at your response. “But you have to be committed to this.”

“Seriously!? Yes!” Deuce exclaimed, pulling you close for a random hug and you tried to push him back out of instinct.

You sigh and let him hug you from the side after a bit of fighting, giving in to his efforts. “We start tomorrow, but first, please get rid of that splotchy blond you got.”

Deuce let go with a raised eyebrow. “Tch. It’s a good blond.”

“It makes you look washed out, and you still have some roots showing, so it just looks like a bad job,” you responded, grabbing your study books and placing them on the table.

“Wh—Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right about the bad job,” Deuce mumbled in defeat while touching the dead ends of his hair. “Is it really that bad…?”

“Yes. Yes, it does.” You say and try not to laugh with a small chuckle escaping your mouth, Deuce starts to laugh at the same time and he gently hits your shoulder.

After that, you and Deuce spent day after day studying once you got to his place. It was hard at first since Deuce barely studied and he wanted to distract himself with other things instead of completing the textbooks. 

“Deuce.”

“What!? This stuff is boring! Why can’t they make learning fun or somethin’.”

You let out a sigh and tapped on the textbook page he was on, “Do the page or I tell your mom to cancel on getting you snacks later.”

In an instant, Deuce stopped his shenanigans like a child and got back to work. The sight was honestly funny.

The boy was stubborn, but it took time. You did like spending your days with him regardless. You got to see him in certain ways, like when he was asleep or concentrated, and you even had to start packing him lunch since he wanted to study with you at school, too. 

The classroom was quiet since you both retreated to the science lab for a quiet atmosphere, and you were picking at the rice in the lunch box that Dylla made for you while reading ahead in your notes.

You took a glance towards Deuce and saw him studying diligently. It was charming, even if it didn’t suit him well with that blond hair and the jacket he always wore with his group of friends. When Deuce looked over due to sensing eyes on him, he raised an eyebrow and set down his notebook.

“What's up with you?”

“Huh—” you let out, being caught off guard, “Oh, nothing. You just—you look like an honor student studying so well.”

Your comment made Deuce silent for a few seconds, but then let out a cheer for himself. The sound surprised you, but you remembered that he wanted to have the image of an honor student, so you made his day like that.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to achieve! Perfect! Ooh ooh! How about like this?” He suggested while leaning back and crossing a leg over the other, making himself appear focused.

His behavior only made you laugh, and he didn’t stop until the first bell rang. He tried to continue, but you had to remind him that class was soon, and a star student shouldn’t be late.

The exams went by, and the day the grades were posted was so loud in your neighborhood. 

Deuce ran over to your door and knocked until you opened up, and you were met with a picture of the exam grades on your face. He had made it in the top 60% of the year, meaning he could graduate without problems.

“Do you see this?! That’s what I could do!!” He exclaimed before picking you up for an excited hug. You didn’t have a chance to speak at all.

It made your heart warm to see him so happy.

He deserved it.

“I could only do it with your help.” He spoke more, finally calmer now that he could let it all out. He looked at you with a smile of appreciation.

You just stared at the behavior in front of you. It was so new and weird, but it felt right. He really did deserve this.

You caught yourself staring more and more in the silence, and your ears began to burn before you looked away.

Deuce was staring too, but when you looked away, he did the same with his cheeks growing flushed. Another new behavior.

“Uhm—” you started, trying to get your thoughts together fast enough. “I'm glad you did well, and that I could help with that. It seems you do… have the capability.”

There was a heavy tension. It was awkward. Deuce took a moment to look around through the silence and noticed the boxes around your living room.

You noticed and quickly made up something. “Oh—it's just my family wanting to put some stuff into storage for space.”

“Oh… I see. Well, uh, my mom also told me to let you know that we'll be going out to celebrate her next day off, and she wants to take you with us! So… there's that.”

“Gotcha. Thanks, Deuce.” You thank him before he leaves and you close the door behind him, letting out a quiet sigh before shaking your head.

When Deuce heard the door close, he clutched his chest and let out a breath, then quickly went back home as if he didn't notice that moment.

Over the weeks, Deuce's hair grew out and he got frustrated with its length. He wanted a change now that middle school was coming to a close and he would be going to a different school at Sage Island. 

When he returned home after school one day, you and Dylla looked at the door but suddenly froze. The blond went back to blue.

Your heart began to race as it felt like time had stopped, but you couldn’t stop thinking about one thing—

He looked… like the day you met him.

Whoa.

Deuce saw your expression and raised an eyebrow, staring at you in confusion. “What’s got you all spaced out? Oh, I must look that good if you’re staring!”

“Not at all. You look like you want to be gloomy,” you said sarcastically and turned back around to study. Dylla watched as she saw how you grew flustered.

Deuce’s mother laughed and went to go and mess up his hair by ruffling the strands, causing Deuce to get annoyed. 

“Mom, come on! I just got this done!”

“How can I not? My handsome young man is back!” She responded sarcastically and even attacked him in her motherly hugs for extra effect.

Listening to them argue and joke around was heartwarming, but you couldn’t interrupt them. You carefully got your things and left them to spend the day as a family, retreating to your house.

Deuce started to disappear more in preparation for his transfer to his future school on a whole other land, and you could feel a distance grow.

Deuce started to look more lively and he acted differently; yet still had his pumped personality, but he didn't have the time to spare you a glance anymore.

With Dylla working more to make sure she had the tuition for Deuce, she was gone too. Your apartment was starting to look more and more vacant as all of this went on, a clear sign of what was about to happen.

This was how it was supposed to go anyway. You were never meant to get this close to him. You were the one who kept to themselves. So, this was good. Right?

On the day before the graduation, Dylla suggested you and Deuce hang out and gave spending money as a way to make one last memory.

You let out a sigh as you sat on the blanket in White Rabbit Park, looking up at the colorful evening sky with its orange, purple, and peach hues coloring the clouds.

Deuce came up with a couple cold drinks and ice creams in a bag from the vendor nearby, but there was still that awkward tension.

You and Deuce hadn't talked since exams were over and he began to fix himself onto a better crowd, but now the inevitable was tomorrow.

After tomorrow, when would you ever see him again?

Your thoughts were cut off by the sound of Deuce opening a can of soda, which made you jump from surprise. Your reaction made Deuce laugh before he handed an ice cream to you.

You looked at it and your expression fell a bit. You didn't like this flavor anymore. You checked the other soda can too, but it was the same thing. Did he forget what you liked?

No.

He just hasn't been around to find out what your new palette is like.

You ate the ice cream anyway under the silence of the still sunsetting sky, not wanting his gesture to go to waste. It made you feel guilty to reject something he bought for you.

“So, tomorrow is the day.” Deuce spoke after a long silence and by this point, the moon was already out to say hello for the night. 

Neither of you looked or spoke to each other, finding it too nerve-wracking to do it.

“It is, but it was a good time.” You responded with a small smile, feeling a lump in your throat starting to form.

“It was. Thanks for helping me study and getting me to where I am right now.”

Deuce looked at you shortly after, and your head instinctively turned to return his gaze. His eyes were filled with slight regret, but also had gratitude.

“It's not a problem at all. Really.”

It was silent again with stares that could pierce the heart, but he walked you home after a short moment.

“See you.” You said, watching him get to his own door.

Deuce looked at you and let out a chuckle, “See you tomorrow.”

He was right next door, but seeing him walk off like that made it seem as if he was farther than usual.

You felt your eyes water with every step you took inside your home, being met with more emptiness.

By now, your home was as empty as could be for someone who was also moving away. You stood in the middle of the box-covered living room and let out a sigh of defeat, knowing that tomorrow was inevitable.

At the ceremony, some cried and some were happy to leave, but your eyes could never stop glancing at Deuce, who looked stoked to graduate now that he had his diploma in hand. It was nice to see him like that after the trouble he put himself through.

The day went by without a single worry and all its students were just as carefree. They were happy to now move on to the next chapter. You stood at the school gates with your diploma and a small flower bouquet that Dila got for you as congratulations for your hard work.

You watched as Deuce and his mother spent their time together, and you were waiting for your own parent, yet they never showed up to anything. As you decided to leave, Deuce called out to you and ripped the second button off his uniform, placing it in your hands.

Your eyes widened as you looked at him, “Wh—what?” was all you could mutter out of your shock. 

“To… remember me, I guess. Thank you for helping me get there,” Deuce said, then he gave you a smile and went back to his mom.

You were left speechless but were slowly overshadowed by a wave of sadness. This was one of the last times you’d see him. He was moving away to go to a school on Sage Island, and you were moving to be closer to your soon-to-be high school.

But they didn't know that.

That button was the closest to his heart, and it’s known that most give it to the person closest to them. You let out a small laugh before sighing, and then after taking one last look, you left the campus.

Deuce headed up to your apartment door and knocked, a bit nervous as he knew that giving you the button was risky on his end, but he knew what he felt.

He listened, but no one opened the door. He kept knocking with a look of confusion, but still no answer.

He grew worried, so he put his hands on the doorknob to see if it was locked.

“It's open…?” Deuce said to himself before he went in. He was met with nothing.

Not a sound.

Not a noise.

Not a soul in the home.

It was dark, but everything began to click in mere seconds. Before Deuce knew it, he ran back into his home and tried to call your old phone number, but nothing went through.

You were gone, and he didn't know if that was the last.

The weather had then changed from spring to summer, followed by fall, until the days started becoming darker a lot earlier in accordance with winter. You were cleaning a cup at a restaurant job you picked up, and it was almost time to close. The seating area had a few people, but it was normal for a weekday.

You started to reminisce about your high school days and how everything was back then. It gave you a smile to remember that boy. You had your own changes to your appearance since then, but you were still the same.

The dinging of the door caught your attention and cut off your train of thought, giving a smile to greet anyone who just came in, “Welcome in! Take a s—”

Silence.

Your breath hitched as you saw the pair of eyes you were just thinking about.

His own reaction showed a bit of surprise, but he looked unfazed. Unchanged from the seasons that have passed.

He looked the same to you, and you were the one who changed this time.

“You—” followed by a pause, not knowing how to continue.

The boy gave you a warm smile as he kept standing at the door and had his hands in his pockets. He came up closer to the counter before he sat down.

“Hey.”

[tinystepsforward]

i've still been keeping tabs on what's happening at automattic. a couple of things i've observed:

toni schneider (who is a man btw), the interim ceo, has been quite open with staff in ways that mean they generally seem relieved to have him leading the company for now. i've heard people speak optimistically about him from all parts of the spectrum (by which i mean: staff who are trans tumblr users right through to staff who are "anti-woke" or whatever and were absolutely intolerable to work with as a trans person), which seems like... a good sign? maybe.

this relative transparency includes things like weekly updates from an executive level, as well as openly saying that he did have to directly speak to matt and encourage him to, you know, stop posting.

matt is back to his usual milquetoast blogging, and replied to someone on mastodon about the AI issue saying he'd comment on it when he's back in may, so whatever toni said to him seems to have worked for him keeping out of it for now.

people have no idea what it's gonna look like when matt's back.

the best case scenario is that schneider manages to create a significant enough boost in morale and productivity that "it'd be nice if we just kept him" becomes a sentiment that isn't held just by the rank and file. i don't know how likely that is, but there's a sense of cautious hope and of making the most of this reprieve from matt's increasingly erratic decisions no matter what.

the tumblr staff statement was approved by schneider and hr, so i am also hopeful they won't face repercussions. what they said might seem pretty mild from the outside, or carefully worded, but it's pretty clear to me and to most people who've worked at companies like this that it's a pretty bold one.

i'll quote a friend:

keep reminding the more histrionic elements out there that: 1. there really are trans people, INCLUDING TRANS WOMEN, in the fight here. 2. we don't have nearly the power they seem to think we do. 3. we're fighting anyway. was the statement we wrote enough? fuck no. does it fix everything? fuck no. but we literally called out the CEO, and got the greenlight for it from the interim CEO. i don't know where this will end, but that's not nothing.

i'm not sure automattic deserves the immense honor of having this many of its brave, dedicated trans staff put effort into trying to make it better. but it has them, and it would be wise to do its best to keep them. so many of us — even me, even now — believe in the ideals that drew us to the work automattic does, and hope that it can return to them. we will see!

other things i want to say:

the wellbeing of my friends on staff is my priority. i am interested primarily in their safety, and won't pressure them to give me goss. the ways i've spoken publicly are already pretty scary to people who might worry about retaliation against them just for being known to be my friend.

this is a regular personal blog. i'll keep updating if there's shit to update about, but i also don't work at automattic any more (thank fuck, again), have a life, and am not interested in declaring matt my specific nemesis or otherwise acting purely out of spite.

some of youse really deeply do not understand companies, the internet, generative ai, or pretty much anything else i've said. that's okay — big tech in particular is fucked up on purpose bc it benefits those in power to have it be incomprehensible! but maybe it's not a great position from which to get mad at me specifically or at staff for idk not personally assassinating matt.

got tired of blocking transphobes so i've turned anons off. i'll probably flick them back on eventually.

[wildemaven]

Okay, so I guess this sits in the realm of Confessions.

I'm thinking about leaving tumblr. I'm not sure what I did or didn't do to cause this, but the people I thought of as my friends or at least closest moots hardly interact with me anymore. My posts, my fics, my reblogs, my comments to them... They are around, I see them on my dash, but...

It all sounds so middle school, but it hurts nonetheless, and I'm pretty sure anything that feels like middle school (even actual middle school) can't be good for anyone.

The thing is, I really love everyone, and I don't want to give up. But going around to literally dozens of peoples DMs to ask, "Do you like me?" "Are we still friends?" "Are you mad at me?" Is again a kind of painful kid trauma thing I just can't quite bring myself to do.

I feel like my time here is just sort of over. I started with little expectation, and to my surprise, I found community, felt well liked and valued, and then, it just sort of went away.

There was a time when I was really happy about my place here, and just that makes me so sad.

You don't have to answer or anything. I think it just feels kind of cathartic to write it down where if nothing else someone else will read it.

Anyway... I guess that's it.

Held on to this for a little bit because my heart aches for you and I want to wrap you in the biggest hug 💕 I felt I could have written something so similar, as so many are relating to this right now.

It’s so hard to not feel like you’re feeling when you see people you’ve connected with slowly pull away from you. It hurts even more when they’re still active but actively avoiding you. That fucking hurts deep.

There was a time when this space felt very welcoming and fun. And while I do still have fun, sometimes it doesn’t feel as welcoming— and I know I’m not the only one feeling this.

Cliques branch off, popularity fuels some to feel like they’re too good to interact with others, the vibe isn’t vibing like it use to. And like you mentioned, it can all make you feel like you’re being thrown back in middle schools wondering why you’re not good enough? What did you do to cause this? What’s the point of even being here in this space any longer?

I’m so sorry this has become your reality. I wish it was a simple fix or there was a perfect solution to make things better. I support whatever decision you make, your wellbeing and mental health matter most— just know this community will be a little less bright without you in it!!

You said I didn’t have to post this, but I want others who might be feeling the same to know they’re not alone at all. There’s a lot of us floating around with the same exact thoughts and feeling like we just no longer belong in this space.

You’re more than welcome to jump in my DMs or continue sending anonymous messages to my inbox if that helps you in any way 💕

Coffee Shop Asks

[many-but-one]

Hey! Why did I split over something not even THAT traumatic??

I'm here to tell you. :)

So, this particular discussion has come up in our system server before and it's actually something I've wanted to talk about for a long time on Tumblr because I've never actually seen someone talk about this, and I am being hit with a sudden god-like hubris at 3 in the morning, so here we go!

So your question was "Why did I just split? What just happened wasn't even that traumatic. I've been through so much worse in the past, I don't even feel that stressed. What the hell? Am I just making this new part up?" and on and on. The idea that only the most awful and traumatic things are what cause splits in DID (especially later in life, after the childhood trauma window of 7-9ish has ended and especially in adulthood) is actually incredibly false, and I am about to explain why.

Note: This is about traumagenic DID systems, so endogenic systems, please stay off of this post thank you. :) /not mad

Note number two: I do want to get out of the way, that all parts DO split for a reason, there's no parts that exist for no reason (even if the reason doesn't seem relevant to you now, it may have been relevant at the time of the split, OR may have been somehow relevant to your brain even if it doesn't make sense to you now.) So I want to make it really clear that splits do not occur only because of hyperfixations. There typically has to be something going on for a split to occur, and hyperfixation alone will not cut it. Alright, now that I've got that out of the way, let's talk about how DID brains run on patterns.

DID brains run on patterns, like I said. All brains do, actually, but DID brains take it to an nth degree because these patterns that it learns are what help it stay alive in a distressing and traumatic environment during childhood. Our brains are remarkably plastic and they will do whatever is necessary to survive a given situation. It's why something like DID can even exist.

So what kind of patterns do we typically see in brains with DID? Well, the easiest one is that a lot of people with DID have pretty similar alter "types" or "roles." This is just a widespread pattern that you see across a large demographic of systems. It's why terms like "gatekeeper" and "protector" and "caretaker" exist. Because nearly all DID systems have parts that fill those roles, even if those roles aren't filled in the most "traditional" sense. DID is rarely random, every part exists for an express reason, and that reason is almost always symbolic in some way, even if it doesn't seem like it now. Once you start learning trauma memories and WHY parts exist, you very quickly start to see the symbolism and sometimes it is absolutely fucking terrifying, to say the least.

What other patterns are common?

Well, patterns we see in our own system and in other systems are something quite literally called "splitting patterns" which are more common in polyfragmented systems but not exclusive to them. This has various ways of showing itself, and the user @foreverfragmented made a post awhile back that I'm having a really hard time finding, HOWEVER I did screenshot the section about splitting patterns when I first read it, attached below:

Wow that photo ended up bigger than I thought it would be. lol. Anyway. Those are another example of splitting patterns. (Note: in the original post, FF talks about how some of the terms above were coined by them or other systems, so not recognized medically, however I think they were worded perfectly which is why I shared them here.)

Another few examples include alter templates (AKA, splitting the same alter over and over in varying iterations), the same parts going out for the same types of trauma every single time, and why certain alter roles very often have the same "flavor" of personality.

For example, gatekeepers are often considered a bit cold and distant, and can be very analytically minded and rarely react purely on emotion alone. (I feel like the most common gatekeeper Myers-Briggs has gotta be INTJ...that was a joke, lmao.) This is typically for a reason. You have to have a certain mindset and a certain way of handling things to be able to properly manage a system. And this is not to say all gatekeepers are this way, but the pattern of a LOT of gatekeepers being like this is not unnoticed. Our DID specialist could tell pretty early on that our primary gatekeeper (James) was a gatekeeper long before he ever told her he was simply because of how he held himself, how he spoke about others in the system, and how much he despised her for "stepping on his toes"😂 They work together much better now, FYI, but it was rough in the beginning.

An example of alter templates in our system in particular is what we call the "Michaels." They were some of our earliest alters, and our brain was like "hey this guy is working really well, so I'm just gonna keep doing it." And it worked! Then, when trauma shifted to something completely different but in the same vein (CSA) our brain once again attempted to use this "Michael" template. It didn't work quite the same. And so our brain had to figure out these new patterns, which it was fucking desperate to do because we were going through some heinous shit that it could hardly even comprehend. I've learned that basically every blue-eyed white-haired motherfucker in here was a Michael copy at one point, but had elaborated into some other version that suited its job more.

Now, for the example that is going to actually help me explain the answer to the question posed at the very beginning of this post: alters who go out for the same things over and over.

So, depending on splitting tolerance, or whatever you happen to be going through in your childhood, you will likely have various "groups" of alters that handle certain things. If you had a particularly tumultuous childhood with several varying types of traumas, you will probably have several of these groups. And depending on length of trauma time, severity of trauma time, and levels of support during trauma time, these groups may be very large.

For example, if you had a situation like domestic violence (DV) happening in your household, you will have a part or parts dedicated just for DV, and if you also had CSA going on, you will have a separate group of parts (or a single part) who handles only the CSA. Unless your system is quite small and you have alters take multiple types of abuses, this is pretty commonly the case. [Note: want to say this is not subsystems unless these groups are highly separated via either amnesia barriers or inner world (IW) barriers, and have better communication with each other versus the rest of the system. The definition of subsystem gets a little funky, but we're not talking about that. Just wanted to make that clear. You can have groups of alters without them being subsystems.]

"Okay, so yeah, you're right. I have alter groups for [insert various traumas] what does that have to do with me splitting over [insert mundane thing that isn't even really traumatic]?"

Continuing on the "DID brains run on patterns" line of thinking, if your brain has patterns set and understood for the various traumas that you lived through in your childhood, usually up until teen years or adulthood, your brain knows what to do when those traumas occur again. The patterns are set. It's why it's super common for people with DID who experience SA in teen or adult years and don't end up having a split. Unless they have an extremely low splitting tolerance or the situation is extremely unique, the brain will just recycle what it already has. No need to go through the literally massively painful and traumatic experience of splitting again for something it already knows how to handle. This being said, the part that experiences this might end up splitting at a much later date if this trauma is far too difficult for it to handle, this is also common because sometimes it's "easy" to handle the trauma in the moment because they're used to this flavor of trauma but the processing of said trauma afterward can be just as traumatic and can cause a split.

Same if your father was super abusive to your mother, or vise versa, and you happen to have an abusive partner. That pattern is known and comfortable. That's what professionals mean by "DID systems are more likely to be victims of abuse than perpetrators." They return to the comfortable patterns, which, with DID, equals abuse. Things outside of those patterns are dangerous and confusing to navigate and the brain will avoid that at all costs.

However, and this is the answer to the question. What happens when something happens that the brain doesn't recognize in its "pattern database"? I'll give an example.

Say you were very high achieving in school. This is pretty common of systems who were diagnosed in adulthood, so far as I've seen. You likely did really well, had really high marks because your parents expected it of you or were abusive and angry if you didn't constantly constantly succeed in their eyes. This can also reflect in sports, clubs, musical talents, etc. This pattern continues on in adulthood. You push yourself very hard to be high achieving. Whether this be in a college setting, a work setting, etc. You are likely often doing well in those fields pre-system discovery, at least. Post discovery often leads to the "spiraling" phase, which sucks but again that's not what we're discussing.

So, say you have a job. You're hella good at it. You are always receiving praise, you are always getting raises, your reviews are always hella good. You're like "okay yeah, I'm good at this job, so I'm going to apply to a higher paid position in the company that just opened up."

And then...you don't get the job. Well, that sucks. Better luck next time, right?

Wrong. Well, not entirely. That's completely true. But that's not how your brain is actually processing this, is it?

You might tell yourself "oh well" but in your high achieving brain's POV, it's like "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???? WE DON'T DO THE FAILURE STUFF!!! WHAT THE F***!!!" And it might panic, and several alters might panic, and the host might panic, and suddenly they're spiraling out of control over something that is mildly disappointing at best. Because WE DON'T HAVE A GUY FOR THIS?! We have a guy for SA, we have a guy for DV, we have a guy for medical trauma, we have a guy for bullying, etc. But we don't have a guy for REJECTION?! AHHH! [splits a part just to handle rejection.]

In adulthood, I've noticed both in myself and other systems I frequently speak to, these highly specialized parts are more commonly split in adulthood. Because while patterns are super helpful in childhood when you're experiencing the generally same shit over and over, in adulthood or even late teen years, there's so many effing unknowns that the brain is just like "what the actual fuck is this, this doesn't follow the fucking SCRIPT you guys. The PATTERNS?? Do they mean nothing to you??"

DID is a disorder that is incredibly helpful for survival in childhood and is an absolutely miserable crutch to live with in adulthood. And that's not me saying it super sucks all the time, but the disorder is not meant to happen, it shouldn't have happened, and coping with it without therapy and proper integration of parts and memories just makes adulthood kind of a hellscape, to be frank. There are tons of positives, I am so thankful, don't get me wrong. But there are a lot of downsides too.

So, to kind of drive home some examples of things that can cause a split that might not even be inherently traumatic based on my own experience and the experiences of some folks in our system server:

-(TW: mild NSFW in this one) We had our first consensual sexual experience when we were 19. We didn't have a guy for that. Everything we'd ever experienced throughout our childhood and teen years was not consensual. So when we were having consensual sex with our girlfriend, we were losing our mind because we didn't have this pattern integrated. So we split a guy whose literal only job was "consensual sex" and he was pretty much made to be the "perfect partner" for our girlfriend.

-We have a part whose only job is to play video games. We didn't know why until we realized he was fronting during stressful family gatherings and was playing videogames to pass the time until they were allowed to leave.

-We have a part that split only to handle our irrational fear of getting sick with a deadly illness right around COVID lockdown time.

-We had a part split just to internalize the feeling of "going to hell" due to our religious beliefs at the time.

-We have a lot of parts that split just to hold feelings of anger, sadness, or fear, even in adulthood. This is common in situations where anger or showing emotions was not allowed in childhood, so if the brain decides that's not allowed, when a part gets overly angry they might split a part to hold that anger, which then typically gets buried deep down.

Note about the above example: Trauma therapists often say that anger is one of the last emotions processed when processing traumatic events. Which is why "anger holding alters" are so so so fucking common. Kids and teens and adults get angry and if that's not allowed in some way shape or form, the brain will suppress it. It's also why it's common for people with DID to be able to "turn off" emotions or if triggered, will have a sudden intense burst of emotions (typically anger or frustration) because of how intensely repressed emotions often have to be just to survive living in a toxic environment that would cause something like DID. When you were a kid, you couldn't cry in front of your parents because you would be ridiculed or punished. So you will "turn it off" and go hide to cry later. But if, as an adult, you never let yourself "go cry later," that shit will build up and cause those intense emotional breakdowns, even after something that's considerably smaller scale than what you're used to. Kind of considered the "straw that broke the camel's back." You can be having a shit week with horrible thing after horrible thing and you're doing really well at "shutting it off" especially when around others, because god forbid you let the mask fall, and then suddenly you can't open a cheese stick or you can't find your keys so you might be late, or there's a stain on your shirt right before work, or the entire contents of your bag get dumped onto the floor of your car because you had to brake too hard...and that's when the breakdown happens.

Anyway, to get back on track, there are probably a plethora of other ways a system could split that seem mundane or "not that traumatizing" or alter roles might be super hyper-specific and the reasoning for that is because ✨patterns✨ We love to see it. /sar

Hope this was helpful! If you have further questions, feel free to hit up the ask box or the replies. :)

-Dori🌹

(Again, endos please don't interact, this is not for you. This is for the folks whose DID was caused via childhood trauma. These patterns likely would not exist in someone whose system didn't form from repeated traumas.)

[iheartjohnlennon]

Omg, hi! I just wanted to drop in and say hey and that I love love love your writing so much! You are one of my favorite class rock writers in Tumblr ❤️ Please keep it up!

Also, I was wondering if you could maybe write something smutty with John on the set of A Hard Day's Night or something? You don't have to though! I just love your John writing so much, it's my favorite :)

'You know I feel alright'

London, '64

Word count: 1030

Tags: Jealousy, Semi-Public Sex, Fluff, Angst

The filming had ended.

Her role was small, of course it was. This didn't mean it wasn't exciting though - dancing in the background with the boys, it was good fun.

"Well, if it isn't our leading lady," Paul remarked, a smirk on his face.

John rolled his eyes at the comment, she couldn't tell if the action was sarcastic or not.

 

She looked away from Paul coyly, "Oh, Paul, not quite. I'm just in the background, you know."

"Background or wherever, you steal the scene."

Paul was a bit too sweet with her sometimes, though it was all in jest, she hoped.

John observed Paul's flirts from a distance, it made him feel awfully bitter.

"Spare her the theatrics, Macca." John murmured.

Paul was undeterred, he shot John a smirk before being whisked away by a random assistant.

She turned toward John. He stood there still, a clear annoyance etched on his face.

"Finally got rid of that distraction, didn't we?" John said. 

She sighed, recognising the tension.

"John, it's not like that. Paul's just having a bit of fun."

John crossed his arms, skepticism evident in his expression.

"Fun, eh? Fun? Fun flirting? With my girl?" 

She reassured him, "It's just banter, John. Nothing serious."

He scoffed, a cynical look in his eyes.

She decided to change track, as she didn't want him being mad at her.

"Did you watch me dancing, John?" She teased, hugging his waist, looking up at him.

"Yeah, you looked like a right whore." John muttered.

He hugged her back just as tightly. The proximity heightened, their closeness bordered on the edge of him almost kissing her.

John's eyes gleamed with a mischievous glint as he suggested, "How about we sneak off somewhere? Somewhere quiet, just you and me."

She quirked an eyebrow, pretending to act like she didn't get his innuendo.

"Where are you thinking?"

"A secret place, love."

Without further explanation, he yanked her hand and led her away, leaving behind the noise and commotion and Paul, heading towards a moment of privacy.

"A broom closet?" She exclaimed.

John shoved her into it, quickly switching on the dim light. He silenced any protest with a rough, wet kiss - he had no room for objections. John pinned her into a cluttered corner, his hands promptly moved up underneath her skirt, groping her bottom.

He groaned against her mouth, he knew he had her.

She pushed him back slightly, giving herself a chance to breathe after his sudden moves.

After a few breaths John pressed forward again, his hands fiddled with the zipper of her skirt. But then he gave up on the zipper and just decided he'd pull her tights down.

John tugged his belt off, he let his pants and his boxers fall down to his ankles. He rubbed himself off a bit.

There was nothing to lie her on, apart from the floor and John didn't fancy fucking her on the floor so he prompted her to jump, jump so he could fuck her standing up.

With a gasp, she leaped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. With one hand on the small of her back and the other gripping her hip, he lifted her against the wall. His finger traced the lace edge of her panties before pulling it to the side, teasing her entrance with the tip of his hard cock.

She put her arms around his neck for stability, her fingers tangling in his hair. His lips moved against her neck, leaving a trail of warm, wet kisses that made her shiver with desire.

He gripped her hips and lifted her up and down, his thrusts started hitting just the right spot inside her. She arched her back in response, matching his movements with perfect timing. The light sound of skin hitting skin echoed through the room as he moved harder.

"Yes, yes, yes..." she gasped out between breaths.

As the waves of pleasure coursed through her body, her legs began to shake and her grip on him weakened. She could feel her climax building and subsiding in quick succession, just as he thrusted. Her fingers barely clung to him.

John moved his hands to grip her waist firmly, guiding her body back and forth in rhythm with him. The force of his movements was intense. His manhood pulsed inside of her, the throbbing sensation was going to finish him. He let out a groan as he lost himself in her, he could barely say her name.

John pressed her against the wall so she hugged her own body closer to his.

He whimpered and his breath quickened as they moved together, their bodies desperate to be intimately intertwined.

John's last few thrusts were fervent, each one driving them both to cumming. She shivered, her cunt clenched tightly around him as they reached their peak together.

John released himself inside of her.

She could feel his entire body tense before they became a tangled mess on the floor.

John seemed disillusioned. She was giggling at the thought of what they just did, it was purely filthy.

John reached down to his ankles and tugged up his pants, he struggled to get the belt buckled. She gracefully pulled on her tights and when she finally stood up, smoothed out her skirt.

They caught each other's eye and burst into laughter, their cheeks flushed and hair messy. They tried to regain composure, though they knew it had been lost the moment they stepped foot in the closet.

"Oh, Y/N, there's something different about you." John said.

"Oh." She replied, nervously.

"Is that a compliment, John?"

He smirked.

"Take it however you want, love. Just know that I want you all to myself."

He placed her head on his chest. She rested against him, a short pause settled in.

She felt a mix of emotions, though the dominant one was longing, it was sickly.

"I'm here, aren't I?"

He leaned in for a soft kiss and she accepted it.

"You are here," he mumbled against your lips, "and I wanna keep you close."

"How close?"

"As close as us shagging in a bloody broom closet."

[musashi]

Pffff you sure do manage to piss a lot of people off, and not know why or how. Perhaps you should look inward.

i'd love to look inward, unfortunately these people i piss off never actually give me anything to work with. they'll say like "wendy, you eat babies" and then i say "can i have an example of when you saw me eat a baby" and then they block and ghost me and i go to my friends like "hey, did you ever see me eating babies? i'm trying to figure this out" and they all unanimously are like "uh no we never saw anything like that??? you did look at a baby once, maybe someone misunderstood???" and then five years pass and the person mad at me for eating babies leaves a long apology in my inbox and i connect with them through DMs and say "i'm just still confused. can you explain the thing where you said i ate babies? like do you remember what made you say that?" and without fail every time they reply "i don't know man, it just seemed right to say at the time."

i'm actually quite interested in bettering myself, and a great deal of my vent posts on here DO end with "i just don't understand" because of that desire. but i think a lot of people really do just forget that i am autistic and a huge part of autism is needing very clear examples of situations/behaviour/whatever. asking lots of questions, receiving lots of clarification, etc. with how mean and quick to abandon people have gotten on the internet lately, no one wants to give me that actionable feedback, or sit with me and help me understand what i might have done wrong/inelegantly. most of them just get angry, take my "maybe we should sit on this and come back to it later?" as an insult, and block me without answer.

currently, the person maligning me fully believes that i'm not "disabled" enough, claims i am "low support," and quite literally said "all [wendy's] symptoms [of disability] improve their life." i think this is very telling of a larger picture--people see how well i hide my cracks, how i boast my function, and how happy i am despite being disabled and file me away in their head as an arrogant neurotypical who is a little bit quirky.

but i would like to remind you, anon, that i am autistic. i am disabled. my social functioning is atypical. my way of understanding myself, my actions, and how those all mesh with the people i share a space with is atypical. "look inward" is great advice, and though I think you were trying to be mean, i welcome it with open arms! however, "look inward" only helps when i have additional help to guide me toward what exactly inward i am looking for. so, in this case, it is a little misguided.

if anyone who KNOWS ME PERSONALLY NOT ON TUMBLR who hates my fucking guts would like to give me some examples of how i act/talk/exist and why it makes them want to set a library on fire i am always, at any given moment, eagerly awaiting that feedback. but currently, the feedback is "none at all." every single person who has had a problem with me for the last half-decade of my life has simply blown up on me over things i did not do/intend/understand, or hardblocked me without a conversation and left me clueless as to what i did wrong.

until someone (friend or foe) is willing to actually communicate with me instead of being a sniveling coward, i will never know where inward to look. them's the breaks!

[takeomurasaki]

Hey takeo! How’s everything? Welcome to Tumblr and to the writing community. I read your post and I was hoping if you could write something for Izuku’s birthday? Maybe reader organizing a surprise party for him without him knowing? (Only if you want to that is)

And I can’t wait to see you grow here! I was once a small writer here (kind of still am) so I get how you feel about being on such a popular platform. And remember: writing’s supposed to be fun, not tiring. Post whatever’s on your mind.

Take care and stay safe!

Hi Moonlight, Thank you so much for the request and the kind welcoming message! I'm really grateful for your kindness and hope you grow even more as a writer 🙏🏻

I adore this idea and hope I could interpret what you had in mind, hope you enjoy this 🩵

" Perfect Birthday for Him 💚 "

Izuku Midoriya x GN!Reader

Type: Romantic, Fluff, One-shot.

Summary: Surprise party for Izuku's birthday.

Word Count : 2005 words

You put your hand on your hip, the other on your forehead. The cake was finally in the oven.

"I can't believe I beat the squad to it! It was exhausting but everything's ready cake wise."

"Could you help me clean now? First you kidnap me from my morning training to bake a fucking cake for Deku and now you won't even clean. Damn extra!" Bakugo screamed-whispered in your ears. It was still early and if the both of you woke the others up, Izuku might wake up, and that's a no-go.

You weren't the best at baking, that was a flaw of yours but you always tried your best at it. That failed this time around, though. You had tried to prepare a cake for Izuku's birthday but you mixed the cake mix with too much olive oil and it was ruined and smelled terrible. Thank God you knew just the right person to help you: Bakugo. He might be a douche, he was the best at baking so you asked him regardless. The blonde wasn't dumb, he saw in your eyes that this cake meant a lot to you, and he sure could see you wanted to impress his childhood friend. Your eyes were shining and a deeper colour than they used to be, your cheeks were tinted red and sweat dripped from your forehead. Your hair was messy from the rush you had been in for the past couple days preparing the perfect birthday for Midoriya.

He found that funny and laughed at your face, but followed through with your plan anyway. He's not a monster, why wouldn't he help his nerdy childhood bestie get game?

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming. You're going to wake them up if you keep speaking so loud Bakugo please.." You sighed in complete despair and closed your eyes. He sure could be a pain in the ass sometimes.

As you were washing the dishes and Bakugo finishing cleaning the countertop, he spoke out of the blue.

"Say professional simp, why'd you stress so much over that birthday party anyway? You know damn well he's gonna enjoy it if it's you preparing it for fuck's sake." He said rather loudly, grinning like a mad man, he REALLY was a pain in the ass today.

"Bakugo I- He- What? Oh my God" you facepalmed, your face so red your ears began to redden too. You gritted your teeth, this guy was gonna ruin the plan it he keeps at it. "Shut the fuck up and don't speak so loud! Get back to cleaning." You got back to cleaning the dishes, furrowing your brows still red faced. You did hope he was right, that Izuku was gonna like it and actually realize you liked him bad, like bad bad !

Let's not forget who Midoriya is, he gets quite oblivious when it comes to love. Random people were hitting on him at least once a month in the most random places ever and he never suspected a thing, he thought they were just being nice.

That made you fall deeper for the green haired boy if you were honest, you found that just so cute. He always was but his oblivion to others' perception of him added to his natural charm.

You could not mess today up, you were a compassionate and thoughtful friend who always went above and beyond to make your loved ones feel special. You have a knack for creating unforgettable moments and ensuring that every detail is perfect when it comes to showing someone how much they mean to you, mostly Izuku.

It was your chance of getting him to be aware of himself and his attractiveness that you admired deeply, too.

Later on, you went to Mr. Aizaiwa. He wasn't your teacher, you were in class 1-C, but he was Midoriyas and he was helping the whole plan happen out of sheer boredom. He was indeed the weirdest teacher you'd ever met.

It was lunch time, the perfect timing to meet him and discuss today's matter. You knocked on the almost empty classroom's door and entered slowly.

Internally you were an absolute mess. Trying to keep your composure wasn't easy as a swarm of butterflies filled your stomach to the brim, the anticipation was overbearing. The party was getting closer.

"Hello Aizaiwa sensei. Do you remember about Izuku's birthday party perchance? Do we have permission?" You managed to smile somewhat normally with sweaty palms.

He looked up from his spot, tucked in his sleeping bag about to fall asleep from the bags under his eyes. "Hello Y/N L/N, I do remember problem child's birthday party... Principal Nezu is okay with the party being held in the dorm's common room. You will have to mark out the things you're using from the school on a paper though so we know what you took. Dismiss now, I'm sleepy, kid." And with that he just fell on the ground and closed his sleeping bag further, till we couldn't see his face.

You did a little happy dance, how could you not? You had everything planned out perfectly. You rushed out of the classroom to prepare the decorations and the organization.

You were by yourself to prepare the room and all. The others were still in class. After class was done everyone has to come here and finish preparing everything with you, excluding Ochaco of course. She was his current best friend and was tasked to keep him occupied for sometime so we could all hide and all. Honestly your excited was making you go faster than you anticipated, your breath was warm as you were going up and down chairs to be tall enough to reach the ceiling and put the All Might banner and balloons you managed to obtain.

You carefully placed the plates and cups, All Might themed of course, on the table. Each plate and cup with a name on it so no one would get mixed up, that also prevented you from forgetting anyone. You prepared the soft and energy drinks you had brought the day before and put them on the table alongside crackers, chips and nerunerune kits. Candy for the sweet guy, you were proud of the connection you had made at the supermarket. You even got to use UA's party things, so you had confetti on the table, on the ground and even found a red carpet to put at the door leading to Midoriya's chair. Oh his chair, you took an extra time on it. It had little All Might stickers on it you brought for this special occasion, an All Might cushion sitting bare seemingly waiting for Izuku to sit down on. You were overjoyed it was so perfect and turned out how you imagined it.

After the bell rang, the others rushed to the dorm and were surprised to see you had done everything. You took the paper hats, All Might themed why wouldn't they be, and ended one to each and everyone. Mina insisted on having colorful streamers, you couldn't disagree it was a great idea for sure, the clean up was going to be a nightmare but that's for later.

You all got in your hiding spots and turned off the lights, Ochako texted you and said she was near with Midoriya. Your heart was racing, your face red. Barely hyperventilating at this point, you brushed your palm against your chest to contain your excitement. The door clicked open.

"Ochako-san? Why is it so dark in there?" Midoriya was intrigued and turned on the light. Seconds after, you all jumped up and screamed happy birthday to the birthday boy. Midoriya was surprised, his eyes wide and sparkling as he scanned the place and everyone in the room. He smiled brightly, showing his pearly white teeth. His cheeks tinted pink at this point. He thanked everyone, one by one, until it was you left. He approached you, he seemed excited from what you could tell.

"My raitō! Everyone told me you planned all this and I could never thank you enough!" He engulfed you in his muscular arms.

Your eyes widened, he had just called you his precious and on top of that he was hugging you. Heat rushed to your whole face and ears. Your pupils dilated, you inhaled his sweet scent that filled your lungs to the brim. You giggled finally hugging him back.

"It was nothing Izu, nothing is enough to compare to you." You admitted, a knot forming in your throat as the words spilled out your mouth. Izuku instantly lifted his head up from the hug and he was scarlet red at this point. He started stuttering and muttering, you couldn't really understand what he was saying so you just laughed. With the courage you had managed to form you gave him a small peck on the cheek and went to Todoroki to get the gifts out of their hiding spots in his room.

Izuku was frozen in place, his chin trembled as he tried to process what just happened. His hand trailed slowly to his cheek and realization hit him straight in the face. He had not studied them enough, that wasn't in his notes.

The time for the gifts came, everyone hurried at the table as Izuku sat down on his custom chair. He was so nervous, that was a lot of attention on him at once and you were still there, sweetly grinning at him. He opened each gift gently as to keep the All Might merched wrapping paper and thanked everyone for their gifts. The last one was yours and he was absolutely thrilled, his palms shaking and his heart racing. He opened the box hidden under the wrapping paper and lifted an eyebrow, the box was empty.

"Is- is this normal Y/N ?" He said scanning the box, flipping it upside down and shaking it.

You were freaking out. Everything was perfect but this. The gift wasn't in the box. Without even thinking, you screamed, terrified and hurried to Todoroki's room, it must still be there. Izuku followed you and motioned the others to stay put in their place.

"Where the fuck is it!? I swear it was just there!" Your eyes scanned every corner of Todoroki's room in desperation. You were moving every single piece of furniture trying to find the gift for Izuku, you rambled on about where it could be and didn't hear it feel Izuku's presence in the room. His brows narrowed and he stepped towards you. He placed his hand on your shoulder stopping you dead in your tracks. You were crying, the frustration was too much for your poor heart and soul to handle.

He opened his arms and smiled at you,

"Y/N please calm down, I don't need a material gift it's all fine I promise. We can have fun with the others and we'll search for the gift after the party how does that sound to you? Is this ok?"

You accepted the embrace, slowly nodded rubbing your eyes. "I guess this is. I'm so sorry Zuku it was meant to be a perfect birthday. I was so focused on you and your birthday party I even forgot to put the gift in the box." You managed to trail out between small whimpers and crys. Izuku gently rubbed your back as you confessed to him, he was happy you trusted him with your emotions. Seeing you vulnerable like this comforted his love for you, if you could break your outer walls down for him, he could do the same for you.

"I understand the struggle, it was the same to me when it was your birthday honestly. You're just so mesmerizing I lost myself for a moment." You looked at him with mouth agape, face redder than it had ever been. He chuckled and pecked your forehead, just as red as you were.

"Your presence and attention towards me and my birthday is the greatest gift you could have given me, Aijin."

Takeo.

[weaselbeaselpants]

Want to say this outloud so that the rest of the tag+comunity knows it and knows it well: not all the Lily Orchard-critical blogs and people HAVE to be buddy-buds with each other. It's always nice to have unity and no-infighting but you need to understand we are all adults talking about how we and other people have been hurt/set-upon by her base, or even preyed on by Lily herself.

Barring shitty transphobes and KiwiFarms (I 100% get why someone would go there, espec when receipt trails are getting harder and harder to keep up and are reported as harassment in sites like this one; I personally wouldn't trust the farms and the bozos there to handle my info well or with good faith. Other people who are using farms for receipt-tracking? Sure. The Farms themself? Fuck no and fuck Null) and obviously predatory people in their own right like Zena and Poppy, we're here to tell our stories and make sure other people's stories get told. Beef, even particuarly ugly beef like accusing each other of dismissing ab*se, zionism, or being angry that we're on servers w people we don't like - it's valid to not be chummy and mad at each other. Still, none of that will ever make us what Lily (or Zena and Poppy) is.

Lily Orchard-

wrote CP (her 'Stockholm' series). It may not have involved real children so it's not punishable by law in many states/prefectures, but y'know writing graphic cp is not a good thing. Most annoying proshippers defend the semantics of 'drawn material' out of fear that those rules will be abused and used to silence non-vile art: BUT, they don't support it and they don't want it around;

also, Lily up and lied to her audience, first that she ever wrote Stockholm then that the videos were she admitted to writing it were deepfakes and that the fanfiction's graphic bits were edited in by bronies who were mad at her.

stole (ie. copy-pasted other people's writing) other people's words and passed them off as her own

CONSTANTLY talks over people of color and other queer people. I'm too damn white and not native to dictate if Lily is truly 'native' or not. What she does/say though in the name of fighting for other lgbtq and bipoc folk is really scummy.

and that's JUST the tip of the iceberg!! Lily-

had PatchworkHearts make graphic p0rn of her behind her[Lily's] partner's back, most of which Patchwork was not comfortable with making but did so out of desperation that Lily took advantage of, including drawing r@pe-bestiality of on of Lily's x's ocs.

is quite possibly is a serial sock-puppeteer; creating accounts to live out her darker fantasies. On the offchance that Tara Callie is somehow a real person, than that real person is vile as hell and was just as much (longer so) a friend of Lily's than she was Britt's, so it's cruel of Lily to act like Britt was complacent in Tara's crimes and not her.

has been accused of lying about medical ailments to get money from her audience.

immediately dumped ILoveKimPossiblealot for having the gall to talk to LIly's accusers and get their stories, rather than just take Lily's word.

keeps instinctively misgenders people and only stops when she gets any heat for it like she did to EssenceofThought. By contrast every one of her main critical blogs has not misgendered or deadnamed her, and the one who initially did has actively avoided deadnaming and misgendering her since.

in now deleted videos and older tumblr posts, told friends of abuse victims not to care about their abused friends and parents of incestuous siblings to accept their children's incest.

is being accused by her sibling of CSEM. Lily has said it's the other way around but then also draws her sibling as the darvo'd sister from an incest game, dismisses said siblings abuse at the hands of their half sibling because Lily 'loves' him, and also proudly has mentioned beating up said sibling and slying saying she 'ran off with a pedophile' at 17 as though being taken advantage of (I know, Courtney does not view said relationship like this) is the sibling's fault.

And that's all I could remember for a single post. Im going to go back and post links once this headache I'm suffering from is sated.

[epickiya722]

You are so right. For the first time ever, I block quite a lot of my moots in twitter and tumblr. I can't believe all the things they said about BNHA (especially Izuku). Personally, I love all the events until now. Do I have complain here and there for a certain characters? Yes, of course I do, but that does not made me hate BNHA. Izuku is a great character and one of my favorite protagonist from all media....Also, as BKDK shipper, I love all the canon moments between Izuku and Katsuki (sorry if maybe you're a fan of Izuku but dislike bakudeku ship).

You know I don't hate IzuOcha ship (I think it's kinda cute) but I do dislike most of their fan right now. One of my ex moots said, "Damn with this events in BNHA. F*ck, at least Midoriya will end up with Uraraka. If somehow Midoriya don't end up with her and only thinking of Bakugou, damn I don't follow this series for the gay sh*ts...."

Like, I'm mad and sad when reading that... For me, I wish Izuku don't end up with anyone at the end of the series (as much as I love BKDK ship, I know it's impossible to be canon). Don't you think it will be funny if there is plot twist and somehow Ochaco end up with Shoto?

That very last bit right there. "... I wish Izuku don't end up with anyone at the end of the series", that?

I've felt that exact feeling since I got into BNHA.

You and I mostly do have the exact same feelings.

Starting with the ships, neither I have a problem with. I have ships just as much as the next problem, but the past year or so has taught me that when it comes to ships, some people don't actually see the characters as individuals and only seem to care about that characters for the sake of their ship.

Which sucks because I feel that takes away a lot of understanding the story. When you don't understand the character's story from their personality to their backstory to their growth, most likely you're not going to understand the overall story.

I hate seeing things like "Well, at least Uraraka will end up with Midoriya" because that just tells me that the person is maybe here for the shipping and that's it and don't care about either character.

Like, why are people so eager to see Uraraka become a wife and have kids? She is a, what, 16 year old girl who wants to be a hero! I want to see her be a hero!

And look, I know BakuDeku got some amazing moments together and some really would make someone go "I ship it". I don't hate it, some of you who followed me long enough know I don't. But at the same time, let's acknowledge they are separate characters. Yes, they're almost like a package deal because they've been in each other's lives since forever. They're going to be intertwined like that.

But come on! How about individually?? Midoriya became my favorite easily and not because of Bakugou.

Like, again, I'm for shipping. I got my ships. But it's not the ships that annoy me (unless otherwise like... *shivers*), it be the shippers.

And yeah, sometimes for any story I read I may have a complaint or two, but I will never understand people who built their whole blogs around "critiquing" and nothing else. Like, damn, how fucking perfect you want the story to be?

In fact, write a story that doesn't get anyone coming at you with something they don't like about it. Impossible. Because someone is going to have something they don't like about it.

Those people will have "takes" and then I just know they have read the story at all. They would miss details or misinterpret the characters how they want them to be looked at and still have no idea what they're talking about.

This fandom, some of the people can be fuckong switch ups, I swear.

So first, Midoriya is too emotional and a crybaby and it's obvious that his flaw was just emotional driven he can be. But now it's a fucking problem he's expressing his emotions at an appropriate time? It's a damn issue he isn't crying for a gag?

Y'all got to be fucking kidding me. This is the same fandom who at a time didn't give a damn about the villains. Who were like "they don't deserve redemption, they should die" even after learning their backstories. And now y'all want to advocate for them? Actually mad even though the story is not even completely done yet?!

I wouldn't say I'm an expert on BNHA or any story I read up. At the end of the day, I am just a fan who happens to be very entertained. I'm here to have fun. But the way this fandom, that fandom and every other fandom be acting makes me feel like I'm reading some whole other manga, watching some different copy of an anime.

[Note: okay, I did giggle at the thought of Horikoshi doing that with Uraraka and Todoroki. I doubt it would happen and I'm not saying it should... it's just funny to me because just yesterday I was thinking something similar with two different characters.]

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hello,

I recently got back into the Harry Potter fandom, mostly because of tumblr. Otherwise I wouldn't even consider talking about my hyperfixations with my real friends.

So here's the thing, I know JKR is problematic and that is an understatement. I know this. And I came across a post which basically condemned her and said you shouldn't need more reasons to drop HP than this or something along those lines right.

And I completely agree with them. So I reblogged the post adding to it saying that the only way I am connected to this fandom is through this site.

Idk if this sounds like someone just like pettily complaining about people or whatever. They reblogged that post with my additions saying it's bad to even connect with the fandom, it gives her more support and kind of shamed me for still being a part of this.

Idk I just feel so guilty rn. And I just wanted someone to say it's okay to be here I guess. Until now I have loved HP content here, and this has been such an important part of my life. I can't just let it go.

I just wanted to let it out somewhere. Ughh as I type it out I feel I'm overreating but still. It's kinda been eating me up.

No, don't feel guilty at all! This is such a real feeling, and something I struggle with.

I guess to me, it's a personal decision.

Some people view loving harry potter (and any potter-related fandoms like the Marauders) as support of JKR. And that's...I can't fault them for that. Because people are so excruciatingly MAD. As someone who grew up literally idolizing her, it was absolutely devastating to see her turn into this. It was literally a betrayal. Like...the queer community used to really love her for pushing the idea of love and being yourself and fucking....not living in a closet. SO when she turned into this? It was really upsetting. People have literally had a staple of their childhood tainted, and for some, that's enough to completely write everything HP off completely. And that's fair.

For other people, they've decided to take the series as their own. To basically steal it and say- nope. Sorry, bestie. Not yours to be an author of anymore. I think that's more my view. Harry Potter (not even exaggerating) probably saved my life when I was a child, and got the through so much that I can't just get rid of it. It's quite literally a part of me. So while I respect the people who can't do it anymore, I just can't let go of something that really was a coping mechanism for years.

And then there are some people (like a newer generation) who never saw JKR as the author. It's always been the fandom. And I think that's also valid.

I think it's fair to say JKR doesn't have control over the fandom anymore, and we've made it our own. I don't lose sleep over being a part of it. But again, I think it's a personal decision, and one you can only make for yourself, you know?