#Tryna get more coloured stuff for this year though

[endless-shelter]

Dream + Fave OC

This year I'm going to try to commit to inktober by either traditional or digital means (i use ink pens for lining anyway LMAO) by combining inktober and @bweirdart 's oc-tober!! Some may just be the inktober prompts if I don't have an oc to apply it to or I just wanna draw Taís LOL

[myfaveisnormal]

I posted 12,546 times in 2022

That's 10,295 more posts than 2021!

187 posts created (1%)

12,359 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ fullmetal-alcremist

@ vampireautism

@ m0kush1r0ku

@ aromanticreigen

@ seafoam-blues

I tagged 4,151 of my posts in 2022

#star trek - 997 posts

#no id - 610 posts

#aa - 413 posts

#aes - 251 posts

#cosmic descriptions - 232 posts

#video - 231 posts

#cosmic queue - 217 posts

#cosmic thoughts - 128 posts

#gifset - 89 posts

#psa - 84 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like i have a special interest in neurological disorders (mainly pds but sometimes other stuff too) and sometimes whn talking about them as

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

DO NOT INTERACT IF:

- youre the fastest thing ive ever seen

- that strike of lightning i just saw was you

- dont stop

- weve gotta keep it going all night

28 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

Thank you for tagging me, @ angomay! The rule is to tag nine people, but feel free not to babes ;)

Favourite colour: Ohh I find it hard to pick favourite things like that, but lots of my things have been pink and red lately

Currently reading: I'm planning on getting Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka next week, as per my philosophy teacher's request

Last song I've listened to: Master and Servant by Depeche Mode!!! I love that song :)

Last series I've watched: I've watched a few episodes of Invisible City. I had to stop because I was stimming too much though fhekfhsjfh

Last movie I watched: I haven't watched any movies in a while, but think it was Sense and Sensibility.

Cravings: Sleep. And peace

Currently working on: A school play! I have so much to dooo...

Tagging: @ khonshufan @ minecraft-java @ r4np0e @ trans-hunter @ mortonscastle @ donaldtheduckdad @ shineyfish @ mntcoronet @ vampireautism and anyone who wants to do this! Feel free to tag me if you do :)

38 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#3

[Video description: Recording of an audio titled "Chekov In Pain". When played, a voice calls out "Chekov!", to which he responds by screaming in pain. The voice calls out again, and this time Chekov screams for longer. End VD]

fuck it. chekov in pain chewsday

45 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

#2

See the full post

207 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[ID: The "these hoes tryna distract me" meme, drawn over to show Benjamin Sisko studying while Gul Dukat lifts his shirt to show his breasts. Sisko is captioned "Me tryna maintain my federation ideals", and Dukat, " These hoes tryna distract me 🤦🏿‍♂️". End ID]

was looking for ways to procrastinate hw and remembered a post by @ tuvokswag . god help me

344 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[vampiringg]

I have fic, it's already one ao3 but here ya go anyways

The Ultimate Wingman

Summary: Nico goes to Kayla for help on asking out Will, forming two relationships - platonic or not - within the Apollo cabin

No warnings :D

I wrung my hands as I walked across Camp's grounds. This couldn't go too badly… right? The worst that could happen was that he'd say no - then he'd tell everyone I was gay and they'd all hate me and think I was weird and those that I could actually call friends would abandon me and -!

"Ugh!" I said aloud, kicking the dirt. The girl that I had been looking for, Kayla Knowles, spun around. Her short ginger and green hair whipped her face and the quiver on her back slid to the right.

"Oh, hey Nico," she greeted with a smile once she got over the shock.

"Uh, hi," I mumbled. 

"What is it? You seem… stressed," she commented.

"What? No, I'm not stressed," I lied. Her eyebrows creeped up.

"Oh really? I might not be any Will Solace but -" she stopped. I hoped desperately that the warmness of my cheeks wasn't showing. By the looks of it, however, I was more red than Rachel Dare's hair. She set her bow down and pulled off the quiver. Kayla seemed to be torn between smirking and being as kind as possible.

"I believe you wanted to talk to me?"

Oh, how easy it would be to say 'no' and walk away, my secrets still kept to my chest. But that would accomplish nothing. Besides, it wasn't as bad as telling Will. At least if I talked to Kayla it wasn't completely sure Will would ever find out what a loser I was.

"I - I… yes," I said, staring at the ground.

"Would you call it an… important matter?" She was definitely smirking; I could hear it in her voice. I glared at her red converse. I swear this girl lived in bright colours. "Ooh," She giggled before clearing her throat. "Sorry, I've been spending too much time around Lacy." I didn't know or care who Lacy was, though I assumed she was a daughter of Aphrodite, judging by the behaviour Kayla had leeched off her. I hoped I never had the misfortune to meet Lacy, as even this interaction with Kayla had just about killed me - or maybe it was just the circumstances.

"So," she said, jumping up to sit on the table she had just put her bow on. "What is it that you need me, of all people, for?"

"Well -"

"Sit down first," she interrupted, patting the table space next to her. She moved the bow as if it were made of glass and not a weapon made for killing. I hesitated before climbing up. (And, yes, I had to climb up. Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, was too short to get up on a table that even the smallest kid in the Apollo cabin could effortlessly jump onto.) Her bluebelle eyes held the smile that she was repressing. 

"Now we're all cozy -" I shuffled away from her. "Tell me whatcha problem is." I didn't answer straight away. In fact, I didn't answer at all. I just kinda stared over to Camp, occasionally stealing glances to cabin 7. Discreetly, of course, or Kayla might start taking after Lacy again.

Suddenly, she hit my arm. I looked at her, a mixture of surprised and offended.

"There was a mosquito," she shrugged with an innocent smile.

"I hate you," I muttered so quietly I thought she wouldn't hear. But damn these Apollo kids, with their hearing that was too good, even for a demigod.

"That's kind of you,"

"How did you even -?"

"Hear you? Please, dad's the god of music n' stuff, we can't be tone deaf - well, maybe Will is -" she definitely paused just to see my reaction this time. I was disappointed in my inability to control my own blushing. The smirk reappeared on her face. "And he's also the god of prophecy, so I'd like to say that I have a pretty good idea of what's going on around here." I sighed, staring up at the sky. It was fun to imagine Zeus burning up there but I couldn't sink into childhood daydreams right now.

"I know you know -"

"I know I know, too," she said. I glared at her before looking back up.

"So just say it,"

Her smile widened before it disappeared. Shaking her head, she said something completely unexpected,

"This isn't my place to speak. You need to tell me, if you want to,"

I paused, momentarily confused by this sudden change. She smiled a genuine smile, her freckled cheeks faintly pink.

"If it makes you feel any better, I've had a crush on Lou Ellen for, like, ever,"

"Really?" I asked before I could stop myself. She nodded, the amber to green colouring of her hair made it look like traffic lights, her face was also red, making it even more pronounced.

"Well… I guess…" I groaned. "We're going anonymous, here. I have a - I have a crush on one of your half-siblings, right? And I need your help." She grinned. 

"Well, good thing we're both amateurs -"

"How is that a good thing?"

"Shh, di Angelo," she placed a finger to my lips. "It's rude to interrupt a genius at work."

"You're not a genius and you've interrupted me, like, 4 -"

"3," she corrected, then paused, rolling her eyes at herself. "Now it's 4 times."

"Whatever! I just need to find out if Wi - someone in your cabin likes me back!"

"You could just… ask?" she offered.

"No!" I cried, aghast. She racked her brain for another option.

"What d'you like to do, then?" Kayla asked. I looked at her quizzically.

"Raise the dead,"

"Maybe something more… normal," she said. "No offence but an army of skeletons isn't the way to ask someone out."

"Uhh," 

"You literally never leave your cabin. What do you do in there all day? Stare at the wall?"

"Yeah, basically," I shrugged. She seemed taken aback.

"You have a sword, right? What if you challenge him to a sword fight? You know, then get talking after?"

"That could work… I guess…" I mumbled.

"Then it's settled," she said, grabbing my wrist and jumping off the table.

"What're you - no. No no no no no! You cannot -" my foot caught and I ended up with a face full of grass.

"Good thinking! Will - I mean, my siblings like healing! Did you sprain your ankle?"

"I think so," I replied, tenderly poking the injury. "But the last time I was in the infirmary-"

"Will got really pissed because you left before your three days were up? I know. So now you can make up for it!" she said, dragging me along behind her.

"William!" she screamed through the Apollo cabin door.

"What?" Will opened the door, glowing in the fading sunlight.

"I've got a visitor!" she giggled before practically throwing me inside. "Good chat, Neeks!" Kayla slammed the door, leaving us in the empty cabin.

"Uh, what was all that about?" he asked, still staring at the door as he held his hand out. I hesitated before pulling myself up.

"I sprained my ankle," I replied, my voice an octave higher than usual.

"Oh," Will said and pointed at a bed. I sat on the edge of it, my toes grazing the floor. He walked over, his blond hair bobbing with his bouncy step, which was accompanied with the clapping sound of flip flops. He finished a Red Bull, crushing the can and throwing it over his shoulder, where it flawlessly landed in the bin. How hot can you get? 

He gently pulled off my black sneakers - I hoped my feet didn't smell. He prodded around the ankle and I winced in pain.

"Yeah, sprained, all right," he said. It was too quiet, I could hear his breathing. He pulled out an ice pack and wrapped it around my foot. "So, er, you're free to go, I guess." I nodded and replaced my shoe. I limped to the door before turning around.

"I was wondering if you'd, uh, if you'd like to… meet me in the - what's it called?- in the, um, arena tomorrow?" I stuttered.

"Sure," Will grinned. He couldn't be blushing, it was probably just the light. "What time?"

"Um, you pick," I said, not wanting to feel like a control freak.

"Will 11 do?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied. Truth was, I didn't usually get up until then, so I'd have to remember to set an alarm. Or tell Kayla and she'd come bounding into my room and 3 am for 'preparations'.

"See you there," he said. I nodded and left.

***

"Did it work? It worked, right?" Kayla practically yelled, jumping out from behind a bush.

"Yeah! It actually worked!" I answered just as loudly, unable to contain my enthusiasm. She gasped.

"What time are you gonna have the sword fight?" 

I cursed in Greek.

"I forgot to mention the swords!"

"Never mind, you have a sprained ankle anyway," she said, then hopped up and down excitedly. "See? I'm the ultimate wingman! You're going on a date!"

"It's not a date!" I corrected her, though I secretly hoped it was.

"Whatever you say, Neeks," she shrugged. I was too happy to tell her not to call me that.

"But what should I wear?" I asked. 

"Hmm," she mused. "Not the same as today… I'll need to see your wardrobe." She marched off to cabin 13, me in tow.

"Do you own anything that's not black?" Kayla grumbled, throwing yet another skull t shirt onto the bed. "Anyone'd think you're going to a funeral every day of the year."

"Uh," I squinted at a shirt. "That one's… dark grey," She held it up and raised an eyebrow. "... very, very dark grey."

"It's black," she sighed. "Anyhow, it'll have to do. At least it doesn't have a skull on."

"Who knows, maybe Will likes skulls and skeletons?" I shrugged. Kayla snorted.

"Tbh, he could probably name every bone in your body,"

"What the Hades does tbh mean?" I questioned and she grinned.

"Sometimes I forget that you're from, like, ages ago. Times like now, though…"

"Just tell me what it means," I growled as a skeletal hand broke the black carpet. 

"Um, it means to be honest," she answered, her voice squeaky.

"Oh… thanks," the hand retreated back into the ground. "Sorry, I guess."

"Don't worry 'bout it," Kayla shrugged. "Just lemme watch the date first."

My face went red. I was so close to summoning another skeleton to drag her into the depths of the Underworld.

I lay in bed, too nervous to sleep. What if it didn't work out? What if he hated me? What if - oh, the horrors - he was straight? I mean, I had nothing against straights. Most of my friends were (supposedly) straight. Still, when you're tryna ask a guy out, him being straight is not ideal. At all. I rolled over and punched my pillow. I needed sleep. I already had eye bags, I didn't need yet another sleepless night to look even more trashy. I could hardly breathe on my stomach but it, at least, served as a distraction. I mused over shadow travelling across the room and back, just so I would pass out. It was unnecessary, though, as I did (eventually) get to sleep.

"Nico," I vaguely registered someone whispering in my ear. "Nico. Nico. Wake up," they inhaled. I just managed to brace myself, realising what they were going to do. "NICO!" Still, I stumbled out of bed and fell to the floor.

"What?" I hissed at Kayla. She grinned, having successfully screamed in my ear.

"Date,"

About a hundred thoughts passed through my mind at once. Through the jumble, I managed one question.

"What's the time?"

"8, which gives 3 hours to go over your strategy," she answered.

"Strategy? I don't need a strategy," I said.

"Yes, you do. Besides, I've been talking everything through with Lacy last night,"

"How did you even meet? She's, like, two years younger than you,"

"Maybe if you actually left your cabin -"

"Point taken,"

"Drink it," Kayla instructed, pushing a glass into my hand.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Poison," she said, rolling her eyes. "Water, dumbass. Now, drink." I downed it and wiped my mouth on my wrist. There were a few moments of silence before Kayla stood up, grabbing me by the wrist.

"C'mon, Ghostie, let's take you to the arena to find lover boy,"

"Wh - what? Aren't we early?"

"Will's always early, it'll be a surprise," she replied. I nodded and followed her out, trying to resist the urge to sprint, adopt a new identity and forget this whole not-date.

*** 

I never would have thought I'd end up standing behind a bush with Kayla Knowles whilst Will Solace waited for me, yet here I was.

"Don't mess up the eyeliner," she said. "Or Lacy will kill me." I tried to reply, but no sound came out. She smiled lopsidedly, like she understood anyway.

"You'll do great," she inhaled then patted my head. "Will totally loves you."

"I - I - he -" I stuttered. 

"Trust me," Kayla said, grasping my hand, her bitten nails lightly scratching me. She pulled me into a hug from there. I tensed momentarily before doing the same.

"Thanks," I said into her shoulder. "Maybe I could be the ultimate wingman for your date with Lou Ellen."

"Isn't she with Cecil, though?"

"Eh," I shrugged. "I can… arrange something." She pulled back, laughing.

"Will will be lucky to have you, di Angelo. Now, go get him!" She pushed me out from our hiding space.

Will spin around, a grin forming on his face. His camp tank top exposed his golden shoulders, which glowed in the sunlight. He obviously had had some assistance too, as he was wearing jeans and not beach shorts two sizes too big.

"You're early," he laughed; a short melodic note.

"Then what are you?" I retorted good-naturedly.

"Hmm, fair point. But do you like my shoes?" he pointed at his black crocs. "I thought you'd like the colour."

"Oh, yeah, get me some," I said sarcastically.

"Sure!" Will said, his white teeth shining.

"That was a joke, Solace! A joke! I do not want black crocs!"

"Suit yourself," he shrugged. "Now, do you wanna sit down somewhere?"

"Thought you'd never ask,"

[neerasrealm]

... okay. but. poly slenjack with y/n. and y/n has a child, maybe three years old, from an old relationship which didnt work out. and them meeting over the child and y/n watching Lj and Lj thinking its their little sibling, bc apparantly y/n looks younger than they are. and yeah- than they meet slender and everythings fine, and then the shock. the child called y/n a parent name :o okay weird but Im tired sorry qwq

I’ve had this ask sitting in my inbox for forever and I’m SORRY I didn’t have any ideas for it until a few weeks later and then some stuff came up and I just didn’t have energy to work on anything but- it’s finally done. Sorry it’s short but- I did my best eheh-

‘’Alright, we’re here.’’

You stop your car and look into the back seat where your child sits. Their name is Sam, and they’re the smallest cutest thing, with short curly hair the exact same colour as yours and big innocent eyes. They look up from their small plush rabbit and stare at you. You smile gently. They’re a little sweetheart, and a little shy, but what kid isn’t? 

You open the car door and step out. You unbuckle their car seat and take their tiny hand in yours. ‘’C’mon sweetie.’’ you say gently. ‘’There’s someone I want you to meet. I think you’ll like him.’’ you smile down at them. They look up at you with big, curious eyes. The two of you walk through the park to the kid’s playground. Despite the fact that you’re supposed to be the responsible parent, you can’t help but feel excited as you approach the park. Why? Well- you have a crush on a children’s performer. Specifically one that dresses like a clown and speaks in a thick cockney accent. Your taste in men is amazing, I know.

His name is Jack, and you've only met him a couple of times. Funnily enough though, not through him being a performer, but instead Jack's- well er- his husband. Yes, you're crushing on a married man but-! He's already in a relationship with two people. He has a wife too. And well- both of his spouses are attractive. You may or may not be crushing on both of them as well. 

As you approach the playground you spot him. He's not hard to miss. Jack is tall, extremely so. He dresses in striped socks and sleeves, along with shorts and a short grey shirt that only really covers his chest. Oddly, he covers his torso with bandages, and on his shoulders he wears tufts of feathers. It's an odd costume, but certainly an eye-catching one. You smile and pick Sam up. ‘’C’mon sweetheart. You’ll like him, I promise.’’ 

It’s still early, so Jack hasn’t attracted too big a crowd yet. Just a few kids and parents. You watch him stretch, then grin at the few kids watching him. He backs up, then bolts forward into a cartwheel, that goes into a series of flips followed by ballet spins and-

‘’AAH-!’’

Jack spins directly into you and you stumble back. You hear him yell in surprise and something grabs you, keeping you from falling. You blink in surprise and right yourself. Poor little Sam is clinging to you in fear. 

‘’Ah- sorry abou’ tha’ luv! I didn’ see ya,’’ Jack’s rough voice makes you look up. He gives you a worried smile. ‘’Ye okay?’’

‘’Yes, I’m alright.’’ you smile at him, then glance at Sam. ‘’You okay sweetie?’’

‘’Mmm-’’ Sam buries their face in your shoulder, glancing at Jack in fear. You bounce them in your arms slightly. Jack smiles and leans down to look at them. 

‘’Ey kiddo.’’ he coos. ‘’Did I scare ya? I’m sorry abou’ tha’.’’

Sam stares at him. You comb your hand through their curly locks and smile at the clown. ‘’They’re a little shy.’’ you murmur. Jack smiles, glancing up at you for a second before looking back at Sam. 

‘’Tha’s alrigh’,’’ he steps closer and leans down, holding out a bony black hand. ‘’Me name’s Jack. I’s nice ta meetcha, kiddo!’’ he chirps. Sam doesn’t shake his hand. Jack moves his palm up and cocks a brow instead. ‘’High five?’’ Sam reaches out and pats their tiny palm against his. He grins and chuckles. You smile to yourself. ‘’Who’s yer friend, kiddo?’’

Sam looks down at their plush rabbit, then up at Jack. ‘’...Christopher.’’ they mumble. Jack breaks into a wide grin. 

‘’Tha’s a grea’ name!’’ he chirps. You gently put Sam down and let them step slowly towards Jack. He crouches down to them and smiles. ‘’Ye ever seen me shows b’fore kiddo?’’ he asks. Sam shakes their head. ‘’Wouldja like ta?’’ Sam gives a nod. Jack grins and stands up, gesturing for them to follow. You smile gently and watch Sam follow quickly after him. They’re both so cute...your heart flutters. Jack is good with kids- maybe you could use that as an excuse to get to know him better, then you two could get close and- 

‘’Good morning.’’

You whirl around in surprise and see- Jack’s husband. He’s tall, thin and very pale. Almost white. His hair is a very fair blonde, and he’s wearing a proper black suit. He smiles at you. You smile back. ‘’Oh-! Good morning!’’ you smile a bit. ‘’I didn’t think I’d see you here.’’

Jack’s husband, who’s name is Guy, laughs gently. ‘’I wasn’t planning on coming down, but Jack forgot his lunch,’’ he holds up a plastic lunchbox. ‘’But then I saw him with you and little Sam and- eheh, I thought it was cute.’’ he pauses for a moment, looking at Jack with a soft smile. ‘’He’s such a sweetheart, isn’t he?’’ 

You nod. ‘’He is...they both are.’’ you chuckle a bit and look back at Guy. He strides past you and over to Jack.

‘’Sweetheart,’’ he calls. Jack looks up and quickly hops to his feet, grinning. Guy smiles. ‘’I brought you lunch.’’ 

‘’Oh! I forgo’ i’?’’ he tilts his head at Guy as he walks closer. He nods. 

‘’Yes you did, you silly thing.’’ he replies, holding out the lunchbox. Sam runs away from Jack’s side and toward you. 

‘’Mama! Look!’’ they call. You look down and see Sam is holding the biggest most colourful lollipop you’ve ever seen. That’s definitely more sugar than you’d ever allow but- well, too late now. You smile a bit as they run over and stop at your feet, holding the lollipop up excitedly. You laugh a bit and pat their head. 

‘’Sam’s your kiddo?’’ Jack says. You look up in surprise.

‘’Yes?’’ you frown. He blinks in surprise.

‘’I though’ they wuz ye’re siblin’!’’ he replies. ‘’Ye look so young!’’ Guy shoots him a stern look. You break into a smile, then some soft laughs. 

‘’Well thank you!’’ you exclaim. ‘’Not often someone good looking tells me that.’’ you add with a grin. You really hope the slight flirt doesn’t annoy Guy. Jack blinks, then his cheeks flush pink. Guy glances at him and smirks a bit before looking at you again.

‘’Admittedly I thought that too-’’ he says. He tilts his head at you. ‘’Are you...raising them alone?’’

You nod. ‘’Yeah- the uh- other guy didn’t wanna be a parent, things didn’t work out…’’ you look down at Sam and ruffle their hair. ‘’So it’s just us. But I wouldn’t have it any other way, right Sam?’’

Sam nods and smiles a bit. You look back up at the two men. Guy smiles softly. ‘’That’s very sweet…’’ he murmurs. Jack gives him an odd look you can’t really decipher before looking at you again. His eyes dart to Guy a second time and he smiles a small bit, like he knows something you don’t. Huh. ‘’You know, me and Jack have children too. Of course you’ve already met Sally and Slendra...and Jeffery, haha- but if you ever want Sam to have some children to spend time with, we’d be happy to arrange something! And the three of us could get some coffee or something like that while they play.’’ 

Jack smirks a bit. ‘’E’s always tryna ge’ th’ kiddos ta make more friends. Don’t mind ‘im.’’

‘’Jack!’’

You laugh. ‘’I’d love that, actually.’’ you tilt your head and smile at him. ‘’How about...Friday?’’

Guy brightens up, clasping his hands together. ‘’Friday is perfect! I’ll bring Sally and Slendra along, will I?’’

You nod. ‘’That’d be great.’’ you look down at Sam and smile. ‘’You wanna make some new friends, sweetie?’’

Sam rocks on their heels. ‘’Will Jack be there?’’ they ask softly. You and Jack both snicker and you give a nod. 

‘’Yes, yes he will.’’ you murmur with a very satisfied smile.

[captainshadowshifter]

Aight aight so story stuff.

Vaguely-Newton-related story stuff. EXTRA DIMENSIONS. Because apparently I can't make this thing confusing enough...

Aaaanyway I posted a bit of him before but I.. Never did a full colour version of him???

Anyway here's a redraw! Of an old thing... I never originally posted... because I was embarrassed about my interests not really existing online.

Meet... Well, Newton. All the other characters call him Newton (or various nicknames revolving around the word "creep"). In my notes and stuff, I refer to him as Parallel so that I can differentiate the two versions - which is important for the purpose of not getting confused since they do end up meeting each other.

Uhhhh this is getting kinda long so more under here - plus another element of his design which is... uh idk what to tag it but I think that good old body horror favourite of mine will cover it.

Now Parallel. He's an emotionless husk, having been continually enslaved by the Titans for a good 20 years, and having corrupted them using Vex's powers - which he stole (I feel like there's a lot of this "power stealing" that goes on but I swear it's not so simple as that--).

Compared to Newton, Parallel is incredibly cold and quiet. Doesn't talk much at all. Nor does he leave his fortress much (yes it's the same one but much more weathered, patched up again and again, and the Lagoon is more like a wasteland at this point), preferring to leave all the dirty work to his armada of machines.

In his dimension, his timeline, he was never defeated. The Shrines were never opened, and the Shadow from this world lost. She's... not existing. She put up quite the fight, though. The marks on his face, that was her. She also took something from him, having been cornered into using her CURRENTLY UNCONTROLLABLE powers.

Quite the explosion, I'm telling you. He tends to not take off his coat or glove, not wanting to show "weakness" as he calls it - it's far from it. It's engineered to store and wield Shadow's power, which he took from her because it was the only way to win against her (she'd just keep reviving otherwise)

Anyway eventually he figures out other dimensions exist, and finds away to travel between them and shit kicks off.

But I've been rambling long enough. Also sorry for always doing links to other stuff in these things, just me tryna keep everything together.. aksjsksjd so much stuff-

[angelicspaceprince]

Photographs

Author:  Ama

Title: Photographs

Pairing: Established Beetlejuice/Reader, friends Beetlejuice and Lydia

Character/s: Beetlejuice, Lydia.

Word Count: 1, 814 words

Warnings: Mentions of yellow fever and death, possible historical inaccuracies, Beetleboi being a sad boi.

Tags:  @justballoonfishthings, @beetlejuicecansteponme, @yankyo, @beetlebitchywitch, @scribblepigeon, @trelaney, @kyuubinu, @imma-fucking-nerd (some I tagged bc I wanted you to suffer with me, others bc I’ve been ranting about this to you guys all morning, enjoy!)

Summary: Lydia finds a box at Beetlejuice’s house, not realising that what it contains is an emotional subject for her friend. He goes through each item in the box and explains the history of the person the images are centered around.

Notes: Two fics within hours of each other? What magic is this? Also, I hit you with cuteness, and now I hit you with sad. Suffer.

So, I’ve fallen in love with a song that Alex Brightman sings from the 35mm musical called Cut You A Piece and it gives me tears every time I hear it so here. Have a fic loosely based on it.

Basically, the Beetlejuice I’m using is Musical!Juice but stuff like Lydia visiting his house in the Netherworld is more from the cartoon. You were alive in the 1850s. There are mentions of yellow fever and death in this fic. It’s pretty sad, if people want a happy ending hmu and I’ll try and scrounge something together. I also based the hair colours off dreammbc’s mood ring hair headcanons found here. Takes place after the musical, Beej disappeared for about a year before returning to hang out with his best friends and everyone in the Deetz house are fine with him sue me I want a happy family ending. Female reader, soz all. Enjoy!

Buy Me a Coffee

Photographs

Beetlejuice hadn’t thought of you in the better part of sixty years. Possibly longer. It was too hard to think about you and what happened. He didn’t like crying or feeling broken, but after everything that happened? He just broke down whenever he thought of you.

So, when Lydia brought up the box in the living room that remained firmly shut, the sudden onset of emotions that attacked him was enough for Lydia to decide to get out.

He was never good with emotions.

It took a couple of days before he calmed down, his hair slowly having blue and yellow slowly streaking into it compared to the pitch black it had been since Lydia brought up the box. It took another day for him to sheepishly return to the Deetz’s to apologise, box in hand.

He apologised for scaring her (he didn’t) and that he just needed his space (she knows) but if she really wanted to know what was in the box, he could show her now.

The curious teen tentatively took the box from him and opened it up. Inside were a few, old looking photos of a woman dressed in what appears to be just an everyday dress from the mid 1800’s and a very clean looking Beetlejuice dressed in similarly aged attire. Both of you were laughing and smiling, holding onto each other, clearly very much in love. Beneath all five of the photos was what clearly used to be a pressed rose, although it looked a little beyond dead at this point, and two silver rings, one larger than the other. Lydia carefully held each object as Beetlejuice looks down at them next to her, clearly in another world as he just watches her go over every single item. “Who was she?” She finally asks, pointing to the woman in the picture.

“Y/N.” He breaths out, a small smile appearing on his lips as he takes the photo, the last one the two of you took together before-. “She was my fiancé.” He explains softly as he thumbs over your laughing face at whatever bad joke, he had told you right before the photo was taken. “Well, nearly.” Lydia looks over at the photos again, it’s clear in every single one Beetlejuice is absolutely smitten. She turns over the top photo in the pile on her lap, in green ink and swirled writing she makes out the caption. ‘June 6th, 1852. Beetlejuice and Y/N, New York. Pretty sure the photographer was over us by the end.’

“How did you meet?” She doesn’t look up from the pile in her lap, continuing to turn over each photo to reach the written message on the back. She didn’t notice the fond smile and his mood ring hair slowly turning to a pastel green.

“Her friends summoned me as a joke.” He starts. “19th century was filled with people who wanted to communicate with the dead, her friends didn’t think that anything would happen but then I showed up and they all booked it. She thought I was hysterical so she kept me around. About a year later, she asked me to court her and so we started dating.” He starts to fidget and fiddle, putting the photo back in the box so he doesn’t ruin it with the anxiety that’s running through his body. The last thing he wants to do is crinkle the photos or, God/Satan forbid, rip it. “We dated for about three years, those photos were for our first anniversary. She didn’t believe in the whole getting married thing, we were already living together and that was enough for her. Bit unconventional for the time, but that was my Y/N.” His smile widens slightly when the happy memories start to wash over him. “Was always there if I needed help scaring someone, always there to bounce ideas. Couldn’t stand the fact that I was filthy all the time, so I took to bathing for her which was a big deal for both of us. She had a higher standard of cleanliness than most people back then. Couldn’t dance to save herself though. Not wearing those dresses, she kept tripping over the skirts.”

Lydia listens to every word, letting Beetlejuice more or less spill his heart out. Neither of them are into heart-to-hearts, but its pretty evident that this time around, its what her friend needs. She listens as he lists off every single thing he loved about her and the things that frustrated him about her, every tiny detail she loved about life and the things she hated, what she loved about him and what caused her to want to beat him with a stick. It was like all of a sudden, he could remember every detail that he had thought he had forgotten, and if he didn’t voice them, they’d be gone. By the end of it, his hair was streaked with faint blue with his pastel green, voice was wobbly, and eyes wear close to shedding tears. Lydia knew that he had to get it out of his system and, even though it made her uncomfortable, she wanted to give him permission to just let it out.

“What happened to her?” Her voice is gentle and encouraging as he clears his throat, not really wanting to tell her how your relationship ended, but needing to nonetheless.

“She died.” He quietly admits. “Yellow fever, there was an outbreak around 1853, 1855. She was one of the last ones to die.” He swallowed before continuing. “I thought something was wrong, but she insisted it was just a cold. She was so hot, couldn’t even stand to hear me walk across the floor to get her something to drink. Couldn’t eat she was so tired, but she was in so much pain she couldn’t sleep. So, she just cried and held on to me to keep her cool.” Beetlejuice closed his eyes, already seeing her face resurfacing in his mind. “It was after three days of pain she started to puke her guts up. Three days after that, she was vomiting blood. Two days after that, she started going yellow. She kept saying that she didn’t want to go to hospital but when she started to go yellow in her eyes and her skin looked like she had been rolling around in the yellow dye vat at her work, I just stood up and carried her there myself.” He swallows. “I should have taken her there sooner, by the time we got her there she was already too close to death. I stayed with her in that hospital, helped her drink whatever little water I could and let her sleep with me keeping her cool. She just continued to go yellow. There was so much blood, Lyds, I never thought a breather could produce so much.” He needs to breath, the smell of the hospital refilling his nose was getting to be too much for him. “Eventually, she just slept. She slept for another week before she died in my arms. And that was the end of that.” He retakes the photo from before and flips it over, in his messy and almost illegible handwriting he reread the words he’d written there over a hundred years ago in the same green ink. ‘Marry me?’ “I should have taken her to the hospital sooner, but I thought she’d know best. She was still a breather, I hadn’t been alive for centuries by that point, I thought perhaps I was overreacting because I was excited. I found out about the clause, if you marry a breather you become one too. I was going to propose to her and explain that we could have an actual relationship together and die together, be a bit more normal. I never got that chance.” In anger, he throws the photo back down as he slams back onto Lydia’s bed. It’s only now that she realises his hair is streaked in almost every colour of the rainbow as conflicting emotions hit him from left, right and centre. She gives him a minute before slowly packing everything away.

“Did you look for her?” She hears him nod against the mattress, his eyes still pressed firmly shut as he tries his best to cry silently.

“Spent nearly a hundred years looking through the Netherworld tryna find her. Spent a bit of time looking up here too. No luck. She’s gone, babes. You will never find what you’re looking for in the Nether, so there’s no point in looking.” He cracks open an eye to look at the box now sitting between him and the goth teen and sighs. “I try not to think of her, it hurts too much. But wherever I go, she comes too.”

Lydia hums. She gets it, to a degree. It hurts every single time she thinks of her mother, how sick she got and how quick she had died. But she still needed to think of her, she’d rather face the pain than forget her mother. And she also knows what it feels like when wherever you go, you feel like you’re carrying that person with you. “Perhaps it’s what you need? It hurts but you still have all your good memories.” He hums, not really agreeing or disagreeing. “It sounds like you cut her a piece of you, and she cut you a piece of her. You carry her now and I think she carries you too, Beej.”

Beetlejuice doesn’t make a sound, but he did hear her. It takes a while for his emotions to slowly simmer down to background noise and once it does, he simply sits up, grabs the box and shuts it away, leaving everything as it was before he opened it. Perhaps one day, he will be able to open the box without hurting and perhaps, one day, he will run into you again. Perhaps it’ll work out for him in the long run. But for now, he’d rather not think about it.

“Let’s go scare your dad kid, I’ve been letting him relax for too long now.” The demon offers as a distraction. Lydia, under normal circumstances, wouldn’t let him get away that easy. But she’s willing to let this one slide as the two of them leave the room to go plot a way to give Charles the fright of his life, leaving the box on the bed unattended, unseen, as it opens, and a sixth photograph appears on top of the pile. Of a very sickly-looking woman sleeping in the arms of a very stressed demon sleeping in a hospital bed surrounded by other sick people. On the back, the words simply say ‘Wherever you go, I’ll go too. I lost my life when I lost you.’ You can wait for him to be ready to find you again, however long it takes.

[konnichiwamybitches]

tell me about all the ocs you have now, especially marco. he appears to be a chaotic cute dumbass I want to know more

Universe one:

Marco Rosario - first-born ~ the favourite ~ protagonist of a sci-fi/survival novel I’m writing

A 50+ year old man, in the body of himself in his 30s, Marco was a nuclear engineer who was sent to work undercover in a new power plant that’s thought to use unethical practices and a new mineral called Sirenium.

After an accident at the plant, he wakes up from a coma over 20 years later with no recollection of his former life, in a desolate wasteland, with a strong Sirenium hand and a Sirenium spike growing out of his skull. The crystal in his head has its own consciousness and talks to him, and sometimes it gets so much he’ll do anything to make them stop, even if it means smacking his head against a wall to knock himself up.

Oh yeah, he has the ability to become invisible too.

He’s so hungry when he first gets up, so much so, that he ends up eating anything he can find (except for people): mud/dirt, rocks, predator animals etc (if I could compare his appetite to someone in real life, it would be Tarrare). He also spends a lot of his first days naked after ditching his chemical-waste covered clothes.

He has a lot of burns on his body and face because of the accident and he has radiation poisoning, but the Sirenium inside him regrows the dying parts of him (cells, DNA etc), so he doesn’t really die from it. He’s just in a constant state of deterioration (if that makes sense lol)

He spends a lot of time on his own at first, trying to get a grip of the world around him, and he is quite like a child in that sense, especially since the voices don’t know much about anything. He does adopt a grey stray cat who he calls Tiko.

When he first meets people (who turn out to be bad), he’s weary of them and they hurt him a lot when he won’t talk, so the next time people do come across him (who happen to be good), he’s cold and violent towards them. He can be very childish with the way he argues with others until he eventually warms up to them, and then he would basically give his life for the people who’ve taken him in and helped in.

Very good friends with the youngest survivor Darius, and likes to tease him a lot.

And yeah, he does fall in love with one of the survivors 👀

He starts remembering his old life, and when he finally realises what happened and the part he played, he suffers a lot from survivor’s guilt.

He is basically an old amnesiac who is hungry As Fuck, tired of people’s shit and doesn’t care about anything or anyone else until he is treated with the kindness and respect he can’t remember.

He’s my disgusting, savage son, but I love him so much.

——————————————————————————

Daniel Stryker - leader of the survivors ~ @azxezah’s fave

Does his best to help and be there for everyone, would kill every last person on earth if it meant keeping his little brother Darius safe, but will put him in his place when necessary.

He’s a jack-of-all-trades, making him pretty good at surviving in the wasteland. He was appointed leader because of his ability to bring people together, and treat the members of the group as equals.

He and the rest if his group were the kids of the survivors, and those who were either left behind or decided to remain in the wasteland.

He and Marco clash a lot at the beginning, as Marco finds him too much all up in his grill, whereas Daniel’s just tryna help him and get answers. He also thinks Marco’s pretty strange, over the top with his rudeness and too much to bear at first.

They do end up on the same page eventually and he realises that Marco’s actually pretty interesting that he cares a lot about him and yeah, he falls in love with him lol

He suffered abuse from his mum when he was a kid, but took it so Darius wouldn’t have to (even though Darius was the perfect child in his mother’s eyes), so he doesn’t take well to people being violent towards him. He tried to settle things without fighting, but will resort to if necessary.

——————————————————————————

Darius Stryker

Young boy that’s full of life, despite the world he’s left to live in. He loves his brother the most and is curious about the wasteland, and helpful towards his peers. Pretty much everyone has a soft spot for him.

He enjoys writing and drawing all sorts of stuff in the tatty journals Daniel scavanges for him.

He’s so excited and fascinated by Marco when he first meets him, even though Marco’s cold towards him. He studies Marco, drawing diagrams of him and feeding him like he’s a pet.

They become really good friends, and he has a lot of respect and admiration for Marco.

He does get into trouble sometimes because of his curiousity.

——————————————————————————

Blaze Lupin

Mum friend to Daniel, she’s the first person he consults with when he’s in need of advice.

Loves to fight and will use a gun when the chance arises.

She offers logical opinions but also teases Daniel a lot. She’s especially protective of him (more than she is of Darius).

The fact that Marco’s mood fluctuates worries her, as she doesn’t want Daniel to get hurt. She doesn’t argue with Marco, but she will tell him sternly to watch himself.

She changed her name and locked away her past after the death of her sister, which she blames herself for.

I still need to build her character up more lol

——————————————————————————

Tiva Tolstoi

Has medical knowledge and hates taking people’s side, she prefers to stay neutral and considers both sides of the story. People often find that they can confide in her. She’s honest and hates gossip/rumors.

She loves cute things, space and pastel colours, and her wife Blaze.

Science is her favourite subject, so she and Marco talk and relate. She’s very studious and she taught Darius to read and general knowledge.

Cats are her favourite animal.

I need to develop her more too lol

——————————————————————————

I wrote a lot so I won’t talk about my other universe/oc, unless.... 👀 😳

[sweetcocacola]

Tagged by @jiayoujiayi

The rules are:

1. Tag the person who tagged you

2. Answer the questions.

3. Tag 10 people (LOL I have like no friends)

Let’s get it started!

•How tall are you?

HAHA 5′6 FEAR ME 

•What colour and style is your hair?

It’s brown-black and naturally wavy, but I straighten it most of the time bc curly hair is a hassle :<

•What colour are your eyes?

Light Brown

•Do you wear glasses?

I need glasses but I walk around blind bc I don’t like how glasses look on me

Might try contacts if my parents let bc I wanna try out blue eyes :0

•Do you wear braces?

Nope but I don’t like my teeth v much so I should? I’m kinda too old to get braces tho

•What’s your fashion sense?

Black and green, leather jackets and bombers, combat boots and caps :)) 

Some lady on the train held her hand protectively over her bag when I walked into the cart so I guess I look like a thug LMAOO

I’ve been told I look scary and tbh I don’t mind this :)) FEAR ME 

Grandma says I need to find a mans tho so I’m tryna dress more casual/feminine nowadays but the bomber is a must !!

•Full name?

Jessie (嘉曦)

Nicknames: Jess, Jechu, 小曦 

•When were you born?

Nov 06 2001

•Where are you from and where do you live now?

NYC ♡ I’m a city girl

•What school do you go to?

In the fall I’ll be going to Binghamton University!! It’s not in a city so idk how I’m gonna survive tbh

•What kind of student are you?

I don’t study but somehow manage to pass 

I got into a program that lets me get my MBA in 5 years though so I swear I’ll start studying in college

•Do you like school?

My current HS has like 6k kids and I love that I got to meet so many people over the past four years, but my college is like 4 hours from home and only has 14% Asians so I’m scared about being outside my comfort zone for the next 4 years

•Favourite subject?

AP Macroeconomics I guess? It’s the only course I’m taking rn that will relate to my major in college 

•Favourite TV show?

Recommendations: 偶像练习生 (Idol Producer), 晨阳 (Rising Dawn/The First Light)

Currently watching: 喜欢你我也是 (Like you, Me Too), 遇见你真好 (Nice to Meet You)

On Hiatus: 奇妙食光 (Fantasy Restaurant), 青春的花路 (Flower Road), all the CW shows

•Favourite Movie?

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR!!!

•Favourite books?

Macbeth, Brave New World

Currently reading Our Calculating Stars and it’s p good so far

•Favourite pastime?

Honestly I used to like cook, bake, paint, and do photography but rn all I do is laze around and watch ZXJ videos

•Do you have any regrets?

Yeah, I regret not joining more teams in HS, like cheerleading, debate, dance, etc. but I’ll def. try out for these in college!

•Dream job?

Honestly I want to do something arts or entertainment related: I’ve wanted to be a musician for most of my life but tbh not gonna happen and if I told my parents they’d probably have a heart attack LOL

So I’ve resigned myself to my fate of doing Business Administrations woohoo

•Would you ever like to be married?

Yeah I get lonely easily :<

•Would you like to have kids?

TBH not that fond of kids but uh gotta pass on these genes and continue the family tree right

•How many?

1-2?

•Do you like shopping?

Yeah but I always end up buying dumb stuff :(( I like IRL shopping with my friends but I haven’t gone in a while

•What countries have you visited?

China, Canada, US

I go to Canada so often that the border patrol looks at my passport suspiciously everytime LOL

Haven’t gone back to China in a long time but would like to visit again, and I also want to visit England, France, HK, Japan, Korea

•Scariest nightmare you have ever had?

Not scary but it’s the first nightmare I had when I was a kid: I was in my elementary school and there was no one there, so I went to the basement and there was a bear and a witch? I got tricked into drinking tea but it turned out to be ginger tea and I woke up screaming and sweating

TLDR: I don’t like ginger tea

•Any enemies?

LOL 

•Any significant other?

men ain’t shit except for zxj

•Do you believe in miracles?

I’d like to c:

•How are you?

P relaxed :)) Organizing my tumblr so I’m catching up on ZXJ updates and setting up an update schedule so you guys can count on regular updates from me from now on

Tagging people who have recently liked/reblogged from me :0

@chanyeolscheeksblog @car-tg @mochachiii @jasstine @09hearts

[justanotherdesperatekidgetrash]

Are all Galrans bad?

*coughs and waves* hello Kidge shippers and possibly other curious people. I come from Wattpad and am the not so talented writer of “Are all Galrans bad?”

If you have read it and are annoyed bc I am a slow writer, I apologise. If I have made any mistakes, please feel free to tell me.

I don’t know how to underline things and stuff so this’ll probably be edited later. Keith originally can only speak Galran so bare with me.

So, without further ado, here is chapter 1;

Katie sighed as she lay on her bed.  She looked about blearily before realising that she was inside a Galra cell.  She rubbed her temples and sat up with a groan.

"Why am I here? How'd I get here?"

Her entire memory had been wiped, she only knew two things.  First, the colour green was important, and second, the name Keith.  Ok, maybe three.  The third being that her name is Katie.   She heard the cell door open and in stepped a Galra.  She shied away from him quickly, her leg throbbed but she held in a scream of pain.  He walked over to her and picked her up before throwing her over his shoulder.  She grunted in pain.  She fell unconscious again.  When she woke up, she was strapped down on a bed.  The Galra who carried her was standing stiffly next to the bed.  He seemed different from the others.  Katie held onto that hope.  Maybe he could help her? Maybe he could be nice and unstrap her?  He looked at her with his glowing yellow eyes and shook his head.  Something about him didn't seem quite so Galran.

Haggar shuffled in, she gestured for Katie's guard to stand aside before she heels Katie's leg.

"I can't have my project hurt now, can I?" Haggar said this to the guard.  He just stood there silently.

Katie barely stays awake, but, in her head, the Galra seemed like a Keith type of person.  She mentally names him Keith, and stifles a giggle as she thinks of perfect nicknames for the newly named Keith.  The best one she could come up with was Keefie.

Haggar left after awhile before saying something to keefie.  He nodded again and picked Katie up after unstrapping her from the bed.  He carries her to an arena before setting her down.  He helps her up and hands her a weapon.  The meaning was clear.  Fight me and we'll see how much spirit you have.  Katie looked at the weapon before looking at him.  Gathering her courage, she spoke.  Her voice was cracked and her throat was parched from not speaking in awhile.

"Why?" She struggled to say the word.  Keefie lowered his own weapon and wrote in the dust.

'Because it is my duty to train you to become the perfect weapon'

"What if I don't want to be a weapon? What if I just want to live peacefully?"

'You have no choice'

"I should really teach you sign language"

'What's that?'

"A form of wordless communication"

The conversation went on like this for awhile, Katie, who was happy to speak again, blabbers on about everything she can think of, keefie patiently listened for a bit before standing up.

'You do need to know how to fight.  I have to teach you, otherwise I'll get killed'

"Over such a trivial thing of not teaching a small girl how to fight with weapons?"

'Yes'

"Oh"

Keefie handed her the weapon again.  She held it awkwardly and the sword's tip crashed to the ground.  Keith frowned and pulled out multiple weapons.   They clattered to the ground.  One of them was a green Bayard.  Katie picked it up and swung it about experimentally.  It seemed so perfect.  Keith moved into a fighting stance and Katie followed his example.  Something primal and instinctual stirred around the back of Katie's brain.  She suddenly knew exactly how to use the green Bayard.

With surprising speed, she attacks Keith with a fury of swiping.  She then uses the grappling hook to tie up his arms before he can do anything or react. 

"Wow, I made you tied up with surprise.  Heck, even I'm surprised"

Keith quickly slipped through the glowing binding and knocks her to the ground.  It was clear, he won the fight.

The days past like this, a vigorous fighting training in the morning, their sign language lessons straight after, food, Then the experiments began.  It became the routine.  Katie was now allowed to wander around the ships so long as Keith was with her.  He still didn't know that's what she called him.  She refused to tell him the nickname as well. 

Katie slowly improved with her fighting, she came to the day where she beat Keith without breaking to much of a sweat.  Stronger Galra challenged her and they went down as well.  She gave each of them nicknames.  There was: Lulu, who didn't get much of a choice in the matter, he was a large brute who spoke with his fists, Then There was Lacey, he was more for ranged attacks, and the strongest was nicknamed Mouse.  He took the nickname gallantly but you could tell he wasn't pleased.  He was slimmer than Lulu but more muscular than Lacey.  He was an excellent all round fighter and was level headed in battle.  The perfect soldier.  The three of them took to hanging out with Keith and Katie, soon, the five of them became inseparable. 

"Hey, Kate!"

"Yeah?"

"We heard that you were teachin' this thing called sign language.  We want to join in" Mouse slung an arm over her shoulder as he said this.

"Well, Keefie is learning it really slowly, he has only just learned the alphabet.  I suppose you guys can join in.  But, if I hear one complaint, you will be kicked out, ok?"

"Keefie?" Mouse started to laugh.  "Man, does he know that's what you call him?"

"No..." Katie grinned slightly.

"Oh man, I won't tell him, I promise, but he needs to know" Mouse leant on Katie as he tried to catch his breath from laughing to hard.

She raised an eyebrow at him but shrugged.

"I plan on calling him Keefie, if anyone else does, they'll get my Bayard to their throat, got it?"

"Ya" Mouse was still clutching his stomach.

The two of them mad their way to the arena where Keith stood there patiently waiting.  Mouse grinned.

"You still tryna train her even though she can already kick your ass?"

'What's it to you?'

"You're gonna get a degrading reputation"

'I don't care'

"Course ya don't" Mouse's sarcastic grin widened as Keith stepped toward him threateningly, a fight started between them, it stopped a few seconds later as Katie separated them.

"Wow, I thought I was younger than you guys, but apparently, that isn't the case.  Look at you, both of you are behaving like seven year olds" Katie wasn't impressed.  Both the Galra hung their heads and apologised.

"Just make up already.  You're wasting my training time.  But I need stronger opponents then you.  Hmm" Katie got lost in thought.

"Whatcha thinking about, Squirt?" Mouses's voice cutted into Katie's train of thought, she shook her head.

"Nothing much, say, how 'bout you go get Lulu and Lacey and I can verse all four of you at once?" Her smile said it all.  She was not settling for an easy fight, the unfairer it was on her, the stronger she'd become.

"Yeah, why not?" There came Mouse's famous shrug.

"Sweet.  I'm waiting though" came Katie's determined voice.

[imrainai]

[OOC Message log, imrainai & trashrightsactivist]

These are really old. Like, last in-universe year old. But some people wanted to see them, so here they are.

Summer, 3422

imrainai: Could I read the sideblog? You have a lot of really interesting things to say, and I'd like to read them. If you're ok with it. ^_^'

Trashrightsactivist: I would trust a promise from you, you seem trustworthy. So I will add you if you promise me that you understand how serious it could be if someone like tidalwave got hold of information that could tell her who I am in real life - I could quite easily die - and also promise you won't mention any of that info anywhere public. Is that okay?

Imrainai: Yeah, I promise. I definitely don't want anything bad to happen to you.

Trashrightsactivist: cool, adding you in a sec

Weeks Later

imrainai: ruby? are you ok? just laying low for a bit? You're safe, right?

Trashrightsactivist: yes. i am very sad and angry about things. but safe.

Imrainai: <3 please stay safe ok

Trashrightsactivist: i'll do my best. you too

Later

Imrainai: I think the internet's gonna cut out in a bit, so just wanted to tell you again to stay safe and take care of yourself. you're a good internet friend, OK, so make sure you're still here when I get back

Imrainai: taz liked your story about the aliens btw. I had to modify it some because I don't want him telling his teachers he's getting red-positive propaganda at home, it was about criminals and poor people. but the basic moral was intact, and he seemed to agree with it.

I just... be careful, OK, the world needs all the good people it can get

Trashrightsactivist: thank you. and I'm glad he liked the story, it's about the downtrodden whatever colour their hair is so yeah

Weeks Later

imrainai sent a post caste flexibility meme!

Imrainai: tag, you're privately it

Imrainai: also the internet's back and your blog is not back, are you still there

Trashrightsactivist: I will post caste meme soon. I have a secret new blog.

Trashrightsactivist: as in - the blog is not a secret but the fact that it's me is a secret

Trashrightsactivist: what i learned from tryna fill out the meme is mostly that i would be a sucky purple :P

Imrainai: ohhh, ok

Imrainai: also same

Imrainai: but I also feel like I'd feel like that no matter what I was. probably everything looks easier than it is from the outside

Trashrightsactivist: well you're like coping and looking after a baby so you must be doing something right! But probably true

Imrainai: at least if i were YELLOW i could ADVANCE in the LIBRARY SYSTEM

Imrainai: but yeah I guess Ves is more important anyway, so I can't be, like, totally failing at life in general

Trashrightsactivist: yeah that's one of the dumb things about the caste system tbh - as a purple its super hard to get anywhere really successful unless you got this one specific skillset of 'run a business'

Imrainai: well you can only run certain kinds of businesses, is the thing. like, I can't start an editing service or watch other people's kids or something

Trashrightsactivist: which is sooo dumb

Imrainai: I do not think I could, like, successfully run a restaurant or a furniture company or make clothes

Imrainai: there are lots of options, so you'd think ONE of them would work, but so far nah

Imrainai: ............I should probably not actually be complaining about my life circumstances to you, that seems rather inconsiderate

Trashrightsactivist: hmm - idk if homeschooling is a thing in Voa. If I was the kinda oddball economics green i mighta been in another life I would suggest you might be able to set up a purple-for-purple homeschooling group and argue the income as being purple either on the basis of it being like house spousing or like consultation (in that being your caste *is* the qualifying factor for a purple-for-purple homeschool)

Trashrightsactivist: and nah, it's fine - it's actually helpful to give me different things to think about tbh

Trashrightsactivist: you could apply the same argument to a daycare specifically meant to socialise purple kids in a purple environment. But idk your employment law well enough you'd need to get a solicitor to advise on it.

Imrainai: Homeschooling is a thing, but I think if you make money at it it stops being homeschooling

Imrainai: I dunno, maybe one of the librarians can help me figure it out tho

Imrainai: they're good about stuff like that

Trashrightsactivist: yeah, I mean at minimum they can probably help you find and understand the books with the law stuff in

Imrainai: Liet's orange and I could maybe finagle something around that, but she's old enough that asking her to actually work is not really.... fair to her, so

Imrainai: and yeah

Trashrightsactivist: what is it you actually do rn if you don't mind me asking? or are you at home with the kid?

Imrainai: oh! no, I work two jobs

Imrainai: I do cleaning at a nursing home and I shelve books at the library

Imrainai: And my second cousin is living here too, she works in a warehouse and sometimes watches the baby

Trashrightsactivist: ahh, right. I was confused for a bit cause i remember a post about the 1st one and i thought you were a care worker and was like 'that's purple?'

Trashrightsactivist: is that liet? the orange person?

Imrainai: Liet's my great-great-grandmother, I am am sort of EFFECTIVELY her caretaker but she's family so I don't get paid for that

Imrainai: and I do look after the old people at the nursing home, but that is not actually my job, it is just... a thing that happens when I am in close proximity to people who need things

Trashrightsactivist: really should be crossover work

Trashrightsactivist: you know one of those jobs thats two castes

Trashrightsactivist: if orange-grandma lives with you it miight be doable to do the daycare and have it that like, she owns it officially and employs you, but again you'd need to check out the legalities

Imrainai: I mean in THEORY there is a simple dividing line between "care worker" and "cleaning lady" but with elderly people the line is not always actually clear

Trashrightsactivist: yeah thats why it should be crossover

Trashrightsactivist: are you any good with numbers and people management?

Imrainai: And yeah, maaaaybe, but if anyone ever investigated it I think it would rapidly become obvious that Liet wasn't really... doing anything

Imrainai: I've never really tried those things?

Imrainai: I don't think I'm awful with numbers

Imrainai: Though I never got past algebra in school

Trashrightsactivist: I imagine you gotta have people skills to a degree cause like - you're really nice, and dealing with the old ppl probably requires like, being nice but firm

Trashrightsactivist: wouldn't require algebra just finance - you could build up to a small cleaning business?

Imrainai: Oh, I hadn't thought about that, but I guess there's no reason that should be illegal

Imrainai: I do all the budgeting here, I can handle money OK

Trashrightsactivist: yeah well afaik that is entirely a purple thing to be doing, it's cleaning and it's business

Imrainai: That makes sense

Trashrightsactivist: and your library connections and self-starter attitude will mean you can pick up the extra knowledge you'd need

Imrainai: I don't know if I'd actually make more money than just working at the nursing home, but I can look into it

Trashrightsactivist: probly need some seed money i guess

Imrainai: ...yeah, you need some to get started I think

Trashrightsactivist: yeah it would at least have more potential to grow, is what i was thinking

Imrainai: but not THAT much for a cleaning business, you don't need an office or anything for that really

Imrainai: I bet you could do it with just a web page actually

Imrainai: not that I know how to make a decent website

Trashrightsactivist: yeah you probably wouldn't make more to start with but could eventually - if you read the books and stuff and came up with a good business model you could probably pitch it to people to get a small investment for like, a website and some supplies, maybe a vehicle

Trashrightsactivist: tell the nursing home they can hire you as a contractor through your business, but if you've got other work you have more leverage to get better pay there

Imrainai: That's an interesting idea... I dunno if they'd go for it, but at least this is something to look into. It's good to have options.

Imrainai: Thanks :)

Trashrightsactivist: I mean. In a sane world you could learn more about the library while you stack shelves and work your way up to librarian but we don't live in a sane world

Trashrightsactivist: np :) I better get back to work but good luck if you decide to try it

Trashrightsactivist: oh secret new me is truth-from-ashes btw. Trusting you to keep that sceret.

Trashrightsactivist: ttyl

Weeks Later

Imrainai: Wanted to thank you for the idea to start a business. Liet's going to be starting up after-school tutoring really soon, and apparently it's absolutely legal for me to volunteer at her business and for her to then put that money towards food and rent. I'll get to make money while spending time with my family and helping Taz and his classmates with their homework. :D

Days Later

Imrainai: ruby did you hear about the thing

Imrainai: the orvara thing

Imrainai: you're not in orvara are you

Days later

Imrainai: please don't be in orvara

Later

Trashrightsactivist: I'm not there. I'm sorry if my absence from the online was worrying- reds everywhere are panicky right now and that's been my focus.

Imrainai: no no it's ok! just wanted to make sure you weren't. uh. actually dead

Imrainai: be safe

Imrainai: or as safe as possible I guess

Trashrightsactivist: You too. I don't know what's going to happen now but it's not going to be good and it's not going to just be us that suffers for it in the end.

Fall, 3422

Imrainai: ruby are you still alive and kicking and there and stuff

Several weeks later

Imrainai: rubyyyyyyy

[honeyedmilks]

the longest gtk me tag to ever exist 🍰

i was tagged by the lovely @meanyoongis (thank YOU!! <3) for this extravagant tag! she is so long, even without my rambling, that under a cut she must rest!

the last…

drink: water! please stay hydrated this summer my friends!  time you cried: literally at 5 am at some point early in the week

phone call: my mum

text message: it’s literally me messaging rezka this: “did u just tell me to find a sugar daddy?” we were discussing my shitty laptop and a peach phone cover i wanted to buy- don’t ask anymore questions about this please lmfao.

song you listened to: don’t stop by shinee :’( (i’m going to report choi minho for his rap in this as well as my love jonghyun for his vocals that nearly killed me)

 have you…

dated someone twice: but… i’ve not.. even dated someone.. once… 

kissed someone and regretted it: nope! 

been cheated on: nope!

lost someone special: not in terms of them passing away but i have lost many friends and relationships i still remember; i feel their loss sometimes

been depressed: dfhhdjd i be livin’ that mental illness life right now hskjxk

gotten drunk and thrown up: no, but during my very bad times, i thought about doing just that, a lot. 

list three favourite colours…

omg okay: browns, pinks, blues 

in the last year have you…

made new friends: yes! i love them!! shout out to my cute tumblr friends :’))) 

fallen out of love: hmm… i would say so… THANK GOD 

laughed until you cried: i wish lmfao but rezka and allie have made me laugh loads :’)) 

found out someone was talking about you: hmm yes, but it’s ok :(( 

met someone who changed you: i know some people now who have given me sound advice that i try to remember, but other than that i don’t think so

found out who your friends are: yes :(( though i would like to think the ones who didn’t check up on me had their reasons 

kissed someone on your facebook list: i’m literally the most un-sensual person ever?? can u tell?? no action up in dis bitch y’all!

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i should’ve mentioned before that i’m not even on that… place… imagine having all my asian family members tryna peep me on ‘the facebooks’ as my dad calls it… a living nightmare… also it just looks far too complicated to use and not worth the energy getting used to it, i love the memes that i see from facebook here though lmfaoo they’re lit

do you have any pets: no! :(( i used to have a bunny called bubbles but he is no longer with us :(( rest in peace bubbles :(( but our family wants a new pet! hopefully we’ll get a cat or another rabbit when my littlest brother is a bit older! i’m so lonely… i want a dog.. my family is so incomplete… so cold…so devoid… I JUST WANT AN ANIMAL FRIEND!!! but i would also have to get over my weird fear of all living things, and the pain that comes with having them such as scratches etc 

do you want to change your name: actually no, i’m okay with my name right now :’) though i feel like i have two depending on how people pronounce it! its more commonly pronounced as sof-ee-a but it’s actually soft, like sof-ya! also here’s a fact! my name’s already been changed :D when i was younger i was actually named bariah (pronounced br-ee-ya) but it was changed because my parents and stuff thought it was causing me lots of bad luck… i also somehow got picked on in primary school for having my name changed?? people eventually ended up saying i had changed my name like three times (the real case is that white people fucked up how to pronounce bariah and when my mum corrected them, they all flipped shit lmfao ah my head hurts thinking about this- it got worse after it went from bariah to sofia)                               

what did you do for your last birthday: it was so miserable this was the worst year to ask me this question, lmfao i’ll try not to give you any miserable details but i ended up buying myself cake and trying not to make it my departing date too

what time did you wake up: near 1pm i think! 

what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was either watching the princess’ man or making my posters for it! 

name something you can’t wait for: honestly don’t know lmfao i want to go to the beach though so here’s hoping i finally do that, or go swimming 

when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago, she’s making dinner i think… i can smell it… all the way from my depression hole (bedroom)

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so much? but mostly i would like my dad to get better and my mum to not have to do everything :(( and then go on more holidays and live life more :(( also mental illness be gone!!

what are you listening right now: fuckin artificial love by exo dropped on ma shuffle, i’m getting terrible flashbacks to the cane dance  

have you ever talked to a person named tom: aye i know a guy called tom, he got a part of his tooth chipped (It was a whole big wild thing and i don’t know the details but that’s all i remember of the dude) and he was in my english class once, but like, we don’t talk no more… i don’t even know if i’ve seen him around school when i used to go… 

something that is getting on your nerves: lots of things… my potato laptop… myself… no one in my gotdang family listening to me!!! the fact that it’s been two weeks and i still don’t have delicious cake… also the fact i end up hating everything i make on here- thank you guys for being so lovely in your tags tho :’(( 

most visited website: tbh tumblr, pinterest, pixlr and dramanice

about me…

mole/s: i don’t think i have any? maybe some small dark dots here and there on my legs and neck

mark/s: i have some burn scars and a bit of a scar thing on my elbow where i scraped it really badly as a kid, i also have stretch marks on my waist/hips etc and a blotchy mark in my inner left thigh

childhood dream: i think i was set on being an interior designer at one point? lmfao or a celebrity chef (i watched a lot of food network as a kid) 

hair colour: black

long or short hair: very very long, but i want to get it cut soon so it’s a bit shorter. 

do you have a crush on someone: i mean there’s this one boy in real life… but i don’t see him that much right now :(( i don’t think it’s full on infatuation though… but y’all also know i love jonghyun and changkyun 

what do you like about yourself: AKDNSKJDKJADDJ i broke out the caps for this!!! lemme think… i guess my eyebrows can be rather nice! and i can be funny sometimes i guess lmao… i like how i can be empathetic with people, though it’s not at all always fun being so sensitive

piercings: i have my ears pierced! just one in each lobe :) 

blood type: you trippin if you thought i would know this LMFAO 

nickname: binch i gots so many oh my god… my family, such as my aunt, call me brian (derived from my old name bariah- thank god i told you guys about that otherwise none of you would know why my nickname was fucking BRIAN), some people call me sofie/ sophie, and my mum calls my sofie pofie sometimes- my dad calls me sofar (so-fur) in the most desi way possible- he once accidentally called me sofa and it just stuck, it also explains my instagram user name (sofarsoogood) lmfao its a cute pun and i don’t know if this is a nickname but i get adressed as baji/baj by my younger brothers and sisters and cousins- its like the desi term for older sister 

relationship status: your local potato head (that’s me) is on her lonesome… she single as hell bitch!

zodiac: aquarius (i’m sure i spelt that wrong, rezka once dragged me for spelling it as some other dumb shit before BUT OH WELL) 

pronouns: she/her!

favourite tv show (s): i don’t even know, parks and recreation is a good one though :’)) oooh and I LOVE CRIMINAL MINDS though i’ve not seen much of the new season :(( oh and an idiot abroad is fucking funny bye i need to rewatch that ooh also lots of cooking shows and the jane eyre bbc (2006) mini series 

tattoos: no, but i would like to get some more henna done this year :’D

right or left hand: right!

surgery: i don’t think so? but i did get some teeth taken out when i was younger so i don’t know if that counts lmfao 

hair dyed in different colour: no, but it would be nice to get it done one day!! i’ve been thinking about it… but i don’t know what colour would suit me and my mum doesn’t want me to lmfao 

sport: i like cycling (its been ages tho) and i like badminton, yoga and i really want to go swimming :(( but i don’t do any of that anymore. the most i do is long walking 

vacation: i’ve been to pakistan, england, stopped in dubai for a while, italy, france, turkey and egypt! it was all so long ago though! and i would like to go to so many more places!

pair of trainers: i have converse! though i much prefer sandals over converse

more general…

eating: these days i’m very into chips and cheese plus donner (don’t knock it till ya try it!) and my mum’s roti salan lmfao 

drinking: hmm water! or icy drinks! iced tea is fabulous but i also gotta start drinking green tea again! i miss her 

i’m about to: pass out from trying to answer all of these LMFAO JOKES i might get something to eat.. such as ice cream… or actual dinner… and then maybe watch more of the princess’ man or make some stuff! but who knows i might just fall asleep lmfao 

waiting for: a new laptop, my mental health TO GET BETTER SDHKSHKSDH and for just… i dunno what the heck i’m doing, i’m just winging my life right now and for my dad to get better so he can go on trains and buses with me so i can get used to them  

want: new bath bombs and clothes, my writing passion back, hugs, affection, allie to reunite with her chicken hat one day

get married: i most likely will when i’m older! though i’ve been told i’m already in a relationship with jp and bevy maco 

career: HONESTLY DON’T KNOW!!!!!! but if i filter all my shit out then i can say, i want to get into film, defos want to be a published writer, maybe go into graphic design… who knows tbh maybe counselling? 

which is better…

hugs or kisses: it depends on what kind of kiss/ where it is, but i often get in moods where i just need to be held :’(( so both i guess!

lips or eyes: both :’) but eyes over lips i guess unless we’re talking smiles :’) 

short or tall: i guess tall but if i’m in love it might not really matter              

older or younger: hmm, i would say the same age as me or a little older, but it really depends on the mentality of the person :) 

nice arms or nice stomach: arms are nice :’) 

sensitive or loud: hmm i don’t know… probably loud, just not obnoxious or annoying

hook up or relationship: relationship :’) 

troublemaker or hesitant: hmm i don’t know! the boys i’ve liked have ended up being some troublemakers, but i guess it depends on what kind of trouble! 

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: never 

lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t wear glasses or contact lenses but i have lost some sunglasses on holiday lmfao, it doesn’t even have to be a day before i lose something on holiday, or leave it behind

turned someone down: hmm i don’t think so! though one boy did try give me a valentine on valentine’s day but i was really having a terrible day and i didn’t take it from him, the encounter was a mess and i don’t know why he was tryna give it to me in the first place? i think he was just tryna get rid of it?? i don’t trust boys if they do stuff like that/ try ask me out tbh lmfao for many reasons

sex on the first date: oh no not my shy ass lmfao

broken someone’s heart: i don’t know :( most likely not! though there was one person i think i did hurt and let down  

had your heart broken: i’m not sure in the romantic sense, but i know it’s felt a lot 

been arrested: nope! i’m an angel ;)) LMFAO 

cried when someone died: hmm i can’t remember, i think i cried seeing my mum so upset when her mother passed away, i also have shed tears over michael jackson (i used to be a very heavy mj blog back in the day lmfao shout out to my mj mutuals who stuck around) 

fallen for a friend: i don’t think it was genuine, so i’m going to say no 

do you believe in…

yourself: pfff depends really, there are times when i don’t feel an overwhelming sense of insecurity and there are times i do                    

miracles: i guess so :)

love at first sight: i think you can be attracted to someone when you first see them or have a liking to them but real love is such a complex thing that i don’t really believe one can fall in love at first sight

santa claus: kjdcnjdcnjd who dat i only know dat cool guy in narnia who gave dem kids of old their death devices

kiss on the first date: hmm… depends… but in reality… probably no

angels: yes  

other…

current best friends name: rezka, allie, mhairi, (a mix of tumbly friends and irl) im such a loser bye but i love y’all, i honestly don’t talk to a lot of people these days :(( 

eye colour: so dark they look black and you can’t see my pupils sometimes

favourite movie(s): hmm… sabrina (1954), the mummy one and two, peter pan (2003), pride and prejudice (2005) and spy! i have lots more i’m so fond of!  

phew! time to tag some lovely people! : @youngjei , @allonsy-allie , @dansphil , @seokjinings , @junyeol-s , @bovrilcat , @alcenos , @astraelogy , @mahnoorjahan , @timrggins and @bonqhee! 💗

[psych-nightmare]

no 2 reflections

I thought O was outside the ‘witches’ house with a monitor in his ear, weaing a suit.

I thought I went to his place when it was all the Chinese people and the guy who prayed for us. I thought he was too shy to come down the stairs to say hi. I thought David, Mary’s husband was filming/recording so O could see. 

When that guy who prayed for me asked me to forgive everyone, I forgave O and I started coughing up some black/brown stuff. Pretty gross.

After we left that persons place we went to Olympic park. I thought I was going to my marriage w O. How ridiculous, looking back.

Once, I walked around the block 3 times and thought I heard God say if I did and pray for what I wanted I would have it. I prayed in tongues and thought some kids were following me, saying to their parents “we want to follow the teacher”. I stopped outside of Ron’s house and spat in the dirt and played with the mud with a stick (thinking of what Jesus did in the sand by drawing).

Easter day - Another time I skated to D (suburb) beach. I prayed by the lake there. I walked through the back there where the sand dunes were and I prayed in tongues. It felt like I was an Aboriginal person, before the settlement, speaking in their tongues. I was also walking funny like a horse or something. After a lot of prayer, worship and time spent in the word, I gathered up some courage. I said to one random couple “beautiful day the Lord has made”. I then started chatting with a lady who lived out of her van. She was in her 40s and was obviously a bit of a hippie, and “searching”. I gave her a word about feeling like she was searching for answers and told her that Jesus is the way, truth and life and shared some of my testimony with her. She was really touched and I prayed with/for her. I downloaded the bible app on her phone and told her to start reading. She said she felt like she was met by an angel. If this episode was just for her salvation, it would be worth it. Lord, I pray that she would have salvation and that your Holy Spirit will bring her to you. After that I went to some old man’s van where we watched the football game a bit and he gave me water. It could have been a dangerous situation, looking back. It is true that people with schizophrenia are more likely to be victims than perpetrators. 

I was watching a lot of Steve Harvey at the time and I thought him and his crew were at/around my house. I thought they were setting me up with O. I was watching my friend’s instagram stories and somehow came to the conclusion that there was some party w O that i was supposed to go to. I thought steve’s video was talking to me - “put on something nice and go out” so i did. I put on my white mini skirt and white crop top and snuck outside. I went through the downstairs laundry and over the fence. I then waited outside my front yard for a bit, thinking steve or someone would come pick me up. I was shy, thinking i’d meet O. I then walked up the street and ended up in W + Tr yard. I heard some noises like a snake or cricket that i thought O was making the noises and hiding from me. I ended up chasing what i thought was him around and around the garden. I ended up in the back of their place. “The man cave” was where i thought O was hanging out. I thought Josiah, Leroy and a bunch of people were hiding inside, being really quiet and that i was supposed to find them. i kept knocking on the door, making beats, dancing and doing stretches like a back arch thing. I also started playing my “Jesus rap” from my phone and full on dancing/praying in tongues. I felt like i was like letting go of my ex (ST) spirit or something. It was so strange. I was like doing really primitive/tribal dances and felt like my steam be smoke that was rising. I ended up kneeling down at the door of the man cave with my hand on the bricks of the house praying “bless this man” thinking i was blessing/praying for O. I then wiped the sweat from my back and drew a cross on a bull’s skull thinking that Christ would resurrect dead things. I also thought that all the landscaping stuff was what O had prepared for me. I saw in the window of the man cave “things identified are of value” with lots of little things made inside, which again, I thought O had made for me. Then, the cops came. “Why are you here?” “Have you had anything to drink or any drugs tonight?” I answered shyly and shocked, with Tr on the balcony “they know me, they’re my neighbours”, “why are you here?” they asked, “it felt safe” i replied. They then asked me for my details and when they asked for my phone number I thought they were going to give it to O or they were flirting with me. There were two men. They insisted on walking me home. I said I could do it myself and that i just lived down the street a bit. They then spoke to dad and mum. i was so scared that i was in trouble that i went to downstairs big bed and curled up. Mum was really sweet and assured me that i was not in any trouble at all.

The next few days i noticed bruises on my biceps. i thought someone, O, had forcibly held me down. I remembered a strange memory that i thought had happened. I thought I had let O in that night and that he slept on the right hand side of me. I thought i had touched his upper body and his head rolled back and that he pounced on me and had sex w me hence the bruises. (i later got a pee test for pregnancy/stds). I watched some weird sermon that confused me further. it was saying some bible story in which a husband had to consummate the marriage by force and i thought that was what had happened. After the sex, i thought i was saying to O, it was all written long ago and i saw a scroll. i told him how we should’ve been married by Oct 21 last year (2018) so we could just have sex or whatever. I thought we were already spiritually married from that date.

I thought O lived downstairs, in the spare room and mum had made him promise not to see me and just to look after me. I remember looking downstairs a few times in the middle of the night, trying to find him. I thought our body clocks had synced up as i woke up in the early morning. I thought he was lying to the right of me in my single bed and i was stroking his abs (which was actually my mattress, lol). but he had to go to work early and i’d always miss him. I was getting frustrated that i never saw him. i’d miss him in the morning and i’d get ready early in the afternoon for him to come and take me to the movies or watch netflix with me in the living room. i asked dad if he could come over for dinner. i texted my friends (CB and JG) as though they were him and ended up in an awkward situation with a guy called Branden who i thought was O. My high school friend, CB, became concerned and confused as he started contacting her. 

I thought O was at Lreef (suburb), wanting to see me. One night after bugger all sleep mum and i went to maccas. i remember a grey van in front of us wave their 4 hands out at the same time, thinking that was O and his friends. when we were driving my stomach hurt a lot when we went over bumps. It felt so uncomfortable. After, we drove past suburb C where gma lives (i thought i heard people saying it was my wedding or something) and then to LR (suburb) where i was texting O (who was actually Bran lol) asking him not to be shy and come to see me. I thought i saw him come out of a van with a beard and boner. i thought he had been living on the beach. i walked to the toilet and thought he followed me. but he didnt. i told him to come to the car to speak to me. he didn’t come. 

Once, we were driving and the car in front of me was letting out feathers. Another time, i was driving past that field on the corner of Cro (suburb). and there was what looked like a veil go past the road.

Once we went to D (suburb) for a swim in the pool. We drove past the main part/street and i saw my grandma sitting on a chair w her head on her hand, looking hopeful. I did some laps in the pool, thinking O was watching/too scared/shy to say hi. i did some weird things like touch the numbers to make some sign like the song ‘countdown’ by Beyonce about “i’m tryna make a 3 from the 2 still the 1′ on the lane numbers.

We put curtains up in my room. felt like i was being strangled by them. 

Once i wasn’t wearing a bra when sleeping. i thought dad came in and was trying to touch my face but accidentally touched my boob.s

really strange, thought my class came to my place and were standing outside my room. i told the girls to come in. i thought ishak was in my bed w a few other girls and i was showing them random stuff from the word? i think. and i was colouring and rapping random things. so strange, i know.

Downstairs, I was dancing/worshipping thinking that my phone camera was recording me and broadcasting me to a large church and i was like prophesying over people. i did this a few times, splashing coconut water around the mirror.

Mum and i walked at (colour) Hill. i thought i heard guys in the bushes. thought O was there saying things to me.

my aunty told me some story about someone - i thought it was about everyone - all my cousins and stuff at her place/my place and O stepped over Chloe w filth on him. i thought O and i had done sexual stuff and he was lying “like an african in his filth” - her words i thought.

mum and i went around near my fav lil beach - secluded i went there w my mums side cousins (suburb). i saw some massive house for sale and thought O and i had been out there cause of a music video i had seen. we saw some guy fishing and i said to mum “it’s time for me to catch my big fish”. at that wharf, some people got picked up by a boat and the guy who was driving the boat said “i have to make sure i get the right people”. i thought they were being taken to my wedding lol. i got annoyed w mum cause she didn’t bring her phone and couldn’t contact O who i thought she could contact for some reason.

i was praying heaps for some people to come and pray for me. I said to mum “the disciples are coming. u have to make sure u let them in”. I thought people were taking it in turns to pray for me outside my house in a van. I thought J (guy i used to like in HS) and J + J (youth pastors at ML) were taking it in turns there.

I also was playing music and i was like “i wish someone would play with me”. I thought O’s sisters were close - in the garage and going to come and play in a band w me.

at N. lake mum and i were sitting there. i thought O was behind me, too scared to make a move (bc i thought i would get engaged at the lake). I felt him have his hand on my back thru the chair, praying for me). and his friends encouraging him to see me. I thought i saw mila upstairs in a restaurant looking down judging me. she looked so evil. i was dancing there, “crushing satan under my feet”.

I once snuck out thinking O would find me and take me to BH (suburb) maccas. I was reading something in the word and got super excited and wanted to share it. i ended up walking to my aunties, thinking O may be there. i did it for “all the lost souls who had to take that path”. I thought O was outside saying “you made me so worried, you know”. I had some water at mindas and thought about turning it to wine lol. 

[shrubforhire]

Asks 1-99

i rly thought i was in the clear,,,

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? inevitable by orla gartland nine in the afternoon by panic! fake happy by paramore epic III from hadestown say my name from beetlejuice haunted house by sir babygirl

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? hayley williams

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Tally ran toward the garden.

4: What do you think about most? going back to school

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? Good! Morning!

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? clothes on,,, my family dont b respectin boundaries how yall live like that

7: What’s your strangest talent? i can make my eyes shake

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) girls... are so pretty and wonderful and they could do whatever they want to me. boys.... can be p cool sometimes

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? yes!!!! my girlfriend wrote me a sonnet eeeeee

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? i......cant remember

11: Do you have any strange phobias? nah

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? probably

13: What’s your religion? jew by blood

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? going somewhere else

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind, i always look weird on camera

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? paramore

17: What was the last lie you told? i told my mom her fitbit isnt a worse model

18: Do you believe in karma? yea

19: What does your URL mean? i made it when i was finally mostly sure i was a lesbian but it kinda leaves some ambiguity. and now its just kinda like hey maybe lets not

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? im super insecure; im persistent

21: Who is your celebrity crush? stephanie scott

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? no

23: How do you vent your anger? pacing & long walks, doing something else

24: Do you have a collection of anything? i have hella pokemon dolls i used to collect

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like talking on the phone cause then im not thinking abt my appearance the whole time

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? almost

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? knife on a plate; hot metal going into liquid

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if they dont like me

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yea, and no

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. a pillow. my own leg

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? nothing lol, its just air

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? texas

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? east coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? uhhhhhh,,,,, i guess like a younger billie joe armstrong

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? to be happy!

36: Define Art. something that makes you feel stuff!

37: Do you believe in luck? yea

38: What’s the weather like right now? sunny, but not deadly hot yet

39: What time is it? 10:43

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? yes, no i have not yet knock on wood babeyyy

41: What was the last book you read? boleslavsky lmao

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? YES

43: Do you have any nicknames? lil c, mini straub

44: What was the last film you saw? arthur

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? i tripped and my cheek got stabbed with the corner of a coffee table and i had to get stitches

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? no

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? musescore

48: What’s your sexual orientation? less bien

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? not rly lol, no ones rly cared enough to do tht

50: Do you believe in magic? a lil

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? yes, but after 4 years i give them a second chance

52: What is your astrological sign? taurusss

53: Do you save money or spend it? save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? a subway sandwich

55: Love or lust? love

56: In a relationship? y e s hehehhhe

57: How many relationships have you had? techincally, 3. but the first 2 lasted for like 2 weeks so they really dont count. p much just this 1

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no :(

59: Where were you yesterday? at work lol

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? a spray bottle

61: Are you wearing socks right now? no ;)

62: What’s your favourite animal? giraffe

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? god i wish i had one,,, usually just tryna not b annoying lol

64: Where is your best friend? at rehearsal

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. positivewlwvibes lesbian-bottom-memes meaningfulsuggestion okay-pie atomicanderson haha bitchessssss

66: What is your heritage? white people soup

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? watching danny gonzalez 

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? hellman

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? no, i only clock out when I've worked my 9 hours. but noice q 69

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? yea,, i send memes and im a crackhead

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? this job is seasonal bitch,,,, save that mf pupper

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? i would tell my pals, i would spend all of my money doing dumb shit, and id be scared as fuck bitch!!

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. this is a weird fucking q. i guess trust bc its a form of love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? girls like girls

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 6071

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? communication, checking in w the other person, making sure everything is all good

77: How can I win your heart? playing a song,,,,, bonus points if u wrote it ohymogd

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes absolutely

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? moving away from home for college

80: What size shoes do you wear? 6 1/2

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? pepparoni and chaese

82: What is your favourite word? effervescent 

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. tubes

84: What is a saying you say a lot? we cant all be winners

85: What’s the last song you listened to? i got you by karmin

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? lavender and p much any pastels

87: What is your current desktop picture? the gravity falls floating stan balloon that says i eat kids

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? i’d say trump, but then we’d have pence and it would be worse. 

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? idk,, theres so much embarrassing shit you could ask me i rly cant narrow it down

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? say whats up bro

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? telekinesis

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? going to the beach w pals and riding bikes and looking at the ocean :’)

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? my dads existence rofl

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? hayley. mf. williams

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? maryland

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? not anymore!

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? nope

98: Ever been on a plane? yup

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? raid the ice concentration camps

[jessicakehoe]

Read Chapter 1 of Ian Williams’s Exclusive Short Story “I Want It All. I Want It Now.”

We wanted our Summer issue to be special, as it’s on newsstands for three months. What we came up with is two pieces of culture in one: There’s a short story, a dark take on contemporary romance written by Canadian poet and novelist Ian Williams, and then there’s the regular Summer issue, featuring Kacey Musgraves on the faux cover. Below you’ll find the first chapter of the fictional story, “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” If you pick up our Summer issue, on newsstands May 26, you’ll find it intertwined with stories on travel, trends and all the other content you’ve come to expect from FASHION.

–Noreen Flanagan, Editor-in-Chief

PHOTOGRAPHY BY TRUNK ARCHIVE

Vancouver

Another woman

I looked at my phone for—no joke—15 seconds to respond to a notification. (My father. Could I work that afternoon?) And when I looked up, my boyfriend was checking out a blond in the checkout line ahead of us. He was trying to be discreet, absent-mindedly picking the inside corner of his nose and nibbling both of his lips, willing the woman to turn around so he could see her face.

I tapped my phone against the magazine rack and waited. I picked up a pack of Trident, glanced at the nutritional label, put it back. Unbelievable. Hudson was grinding up on her in his fantasy. From the back, the woman was either Dolly Parton or Nicki Minaj. Blond. She wore high-waisted mom jeans, a white crop top, hoop earrings the size of her bracelets and probably too much makeup. She was probably Botoxed between the brows, probably had too much filler in her lips and probably her face was coated in downy fuzz.

So you got a contract for a shoot in—Whistler? Hudson came out of his trance.

Mexico, I said.

Mexico. Even better, he said. You can swing up to L.A. and meet me.

I’ll be working.

He mouthed “working” and made air quotes.

You’ll be “networking,” I said. Same finger quotes. You swing down and meet me. I’m always the one following you around.

I’ll see. His eyes shifted to Dolly Minaj tapping her debit card.

Do you know her or something?

My mom had this poster tacked up in her workspace at Citytv. She was one of the first female producers there. Now my dad keeps it in the waiting room.

Yorkie

I lifted the dog from the examination table into a plastic bag. It was an old honey-coloured Yorkie with long bangs—a faded beauty queen. I took it down to the freezer.

We had one more procedure for the day; then my father would get in his car and drive to Whistler. He had a condo there and an Australian girlfriend who thought I should be teaching public school and nursing a baby at 25. Neither my father nor the girlfriend understood terms like contract labour, freelance, precariat.

I made room in the freezer for the Yorkie. As a child, I remember my father teaching me the difference between a carcass and a corpse. To me, it was all death, a staple black dress. But to him, death was more elaborate, like a damask pattern. The worst part of death was not knowing you were dead, he thought. Not pain, not leaving people behind, but the blindness of the dead regarding their condition. I closed the freezer door and returned upstairs.

Up next, we had a Pomeranian with an intestinal blockage. I held the dog’s head; my father injected it and cut its stomach open. Then we took turns feeling along the intestines for the obstruction. It was a good note to end the day on.

Sometimes he injected them and they didn’t wake up.

I learned early on not to be squeamish. My father doesn’t pay me. This is not my life. It’s not even my job.

Dye

How blond we talking? Ella asked.

I was sitting on the lip of her bathtub while she sectioned my hair into six parts. I had bought two boxes from L’Oréal Preference: my regular light brown shade, “Shade 36 Havane,” and my dream shade, “Medium Rose Blonde 823.”

I wanted to be so blond that I’d turn the festival into a testostefest of bug-eyed guys tryna get with me. Hudson would block hotties with his shoulder and say, You got a problem, bro? They’d scuffle. Maybe rip their white tees. Blood. Yeah, a bloody nose or two. I’d drag Hudson off the guy, then clutch his bicep as we walked away. From the back, my blond hair would be dishevelled but fabulous.

You gotta work on your feminism, girl. Ella put on gloves. What’s it gonna be?

You don’t think it’ll look like a wig on me? With my eyebrows and everything? I’ve got all these gigs late in the summer. I can’t show up looking like a bleached fern.

I like you dark. Ella shrugged.

But—

Odile, make a decision!

I considered the models on both boxes. The blond was radiant, but the brunette was sultry. In the end, I slapped the light brown box into her hand. Safe.

Ella didn’t look surprised. I almost changed my mind, but she ripped open the box and I knew I couldn’t return it. I leaned forward, partly so she could start with the roots at the back, partly to hide my face.

Ella and I were a year into an M.B.A. program, half online, half in the classroom. On the first day of Risk Management, I introduced myself as Odile, a model. The female professor said, There’s math in this course. The male students looked up from their phones and calculated their chances. All the female students dismissed me as a ditz, except for Ella. On break, she characterized the professor as the kind of white feminist who is a puppet of patriarchal oppression in all its forms, including capitalism. Ella had a background in social justice and intersectional politics.

You do realize you’re basically a white feminist, I said. She stroked her hair hand over hand, like a Kardashian.

I totally realize my complicity in the problem, she said, full of vocal fry. Then, seriously, she added: I’m in this M.B.A. to grow a dick and then cut it off. I should have introduced myself as Ella, I used to be a stripper.

Ella applied dye to the middle section of my hair, then to the front.

I told her that I caught Hudson looking at a woman in a grocery store.

She said, The same way you got him is the same way you’re gonna lose him.

I did not break them up.

You kinda did, she said. Karma’s not just the name of an escort.

I met Hudson in Risk Management. He told me later that his philosophy was always to approach the hottest girl in a room first. Go big. And there was no question who was the hottest in that room of cuttlefish. His words. He was with another woman at the time. But he ended that relationship (like a month after we hooked up, Ella would add here), and we’ve been together for seven months. We went public. Like Ella, he was only getting an M.B.A. as part of a master plan; his was for him and his band to be a brand. He was in the program to talk the talk, to learn the reptilian language he could use in L.A. to get his band signed. His ultimate non-sexual fantasy involved rolling across America in a tour bus and calling me from pay phones in dusty rectangular states. Some women like men with plans. I like men with dreams. Or fantasies. Even better if they included me.

Ella removed her gloves.

While we were waiting for the colour to set, I flicked my hand through her closet for something to borrow. Ella was taller than me so I couldn’t wear her pants, but everything else was fair game. I’d call my style “bohemian”—mismatched layers and oversized accessories—like a human gallery wall. Actually, I passed most of the spring semester layering Ella’s clothes on mine or Hudson’s. Sometimes his clothes ended up in her closet. Sometimes her clothes ended up in his. She slept in my bed some nights. I slept in hers other nights—maybe tonight.

Photography via Trunk Archive

Flight Centre

When I saw my hair, I reacted like women in makeover reveals. I wasn’t blond, but I was my best self. My mother used to watch Oprah. Call me crazy, but a good dye job always makes my boobs look bigger. I had to fan my eyes to keep back the tears. Ella tried to get me to spend the night, but I messaged Hudson.

Texts after midnight always got an enthusiastic reception.

Hudson met me on the street as I was parallel parking. Even though he was a few feet away, I could feel him all over me like a cloud of blackflies.

He fluffed my hair with both of his hands and pressed me against the side of the car. A lump in his sweatpants. I was wearing Ella’s sequined shift dress; slipping off my shoulders, it was like wearing moonlight on a lake. Hudson kissed my neck, kisses like bubbles everywhere. I had stepped into a glass of Champagne. I turned my head into the glare of the Flight Centre’s lights.

He remembered his trips based on what he ate. I remembered mine by what I bought: a Michael Kors bag in L.A., a Dior macramé dress in Paris, Gucci slippers in Ireland, a Van Cleef & Arpels pendant in Chile.

Then I went inside and surfed him like in the Beyoncé song.

Insomnia

I fell asleep while Hudson was making himself an avocado sandwich. I woke up a few hours later, and he was fingerpicking his electric Gibson. The next time I woke up, he was mixing music with his laptop on top of his keyboard. Then he was flipping through the FASHION magazines I had left on his amp, maybe reading the marginalia I wrote while I was reading them.

It’s like he wanted to sleep but couldn’t. I got up and went to him on the couch.

What’s bothering you? I asked.

He shook his head. He was bouncing his leg.

Photography by Robert Reader

I was used to his insomnia, but tonight his energy was more skittish. Maybe he’d had a late cappuccino. I put my hand down his pants to tire him out. He put his nose in my hair. When he tensed and exhaled, I lay down on top of him so he couldn’t move, so our heartbeats and breathing would synchronize and he’d fall asleep. (He believed in that cosmic energy stuff.)

But when I peeked, I saw that his headphones were on and his eyes were open.

At dawn, he walked me to my car.

What you got going on today? I asked.

He shrugged. I just need to get some sleep.

I nodded. I’ll leave you to that then.

I bought an Americano at the place nearby, but when I got back to my car, I saw him unlocking his bicycle.

He swooped a leg over the frame and pedalled hard the other way.

Odile’s story isn’t over yet. Where was Hudson headed and will his relationship with Odile survive mounting tensions when things don’t go as planned during a weekend getaway? See how it all pans out in Chapter Two and follow @the.real.odile on Instagram for real-time updates.

The post Read Chapter 1 of Ian Williams’s Exclusive Short Story “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Read Chapter 1 of Ian Williams’s Exclusive Short Story “I Want It All. I Want It Now.” published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[that-bat-blog]

@sleepysupersnuggles​ tagged me in w/ my art blog but I’m tryna keep it strictly art so here we go-

LAST

Drink: 7up free (because the can is much cuter than regular 7up)

Phone call: Probably my mum asking what time I was coming home

Text message (I’m gonna go with general messages because I never get texts): Basically my friend talking to me about how hot my OC Kai is, and me very much agreeing with him

Song: Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande

Time you cried: Friday, I threw up and I always cry when I’m sick

EVER

Dated someone twice: The only person I’ve ever dated is my current boyfriend and we’ve been together since we were fifteen (five years in February)

Kissed someone and regretted it: Not that I can think of??

Been cheated on: I sure hope not

Lost someone special: My Grandma passed away last year but we weren’t very close or anything. I do have friends from high school I wish I could’ve kept contact with more I suppose

Been depressed: yea boi

Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never been drunk so nope

Fave colours: Red. Its just a good colour 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made new friends: Absolutely! I joined my boyfriends D&D game and everyones become really quick friends with me, its great

Fallen out of love: Nope and I don’t imagine I will any time soon

Laughed until you cried: Who hasn’t??

Found out someone was talking about you: In highschool it wasn’t really behind my back it was more snidey comments and such

Met someone who changed you: I used to hate puns and bad jokes, now I make them too often. Thanks Danny

Found out who your friends are: There was this one particular friend in primary/high school that I recently found some stuff about and I knew she was kinda shitty but had no idea how shitty she actually was

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: yes

GENERAL

How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl: All of them, I’ve never friended anyone I haven’t known

Do you have any pets: I have two lovely ladies. An Alaskan Malamute called Koda and a half jack russell, half staff called Lola

Do you want to change your name: I hate that my name has a million spellings but I still like it. The only time I can imagine changing it is if I get married

What did you do for your last birthday: I’m not much of a partygoer so I just stayed in and ordered takeaway

What were you doing at midnight last night:  Listening to music full blast and staring at the ceiling for hours as per usual

What is something you can’t wait for: My top to get delivered, I’ve been eyeing it for a while and finally got around to ordering it

What are you listening to you right now: My boyfriends rendition of the MII menu song

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I went to school with about six Toms so I’ve definitely spoken to one of them

Something that gets on your nerves: All my brothers

Most visited website: Tumblr most likely or Youtube I guess

Hair colour: It was half white and black not long ago but now its all black

Long or short hair: I had very short hair over a year ago and now I’m actually trying to see how long I can get it to grow, so both really. Also my boyfriend has very long golden flowing hair and I’m a little jealous

Do you have a crush on someone: Dick Grayson, its been a crush since I was like six and it hasn’t gone away

What do you like about yourself: Body wise, I have a nice torso??? Personality wise, I like to think I’m creative and hopefully approachable?

Want any piercings: I would love piercings but I hate being stabbed so thats a no-no. If I manged to though, I would love more ear piercings, my septum piercing and my nips cos that shit hot

Blood type: I actually have no idea

Nicknames: Kate, Katie, Kit Kat, Chicken Pie, Monkey Pud, BItch etc

Relationship status: If you haven’t gathered I’m very not single

Zodiac: Aquarius, and apparently Aquarius’ are very aloof which is very me

Pronouns: She’s a WoMaN

Fave TV shows: I’m currently on an Avatar: the last airbender rewatch, one of my childhood faves and totally looking forward to season 3 of Young Justice. Not that into live action shows or anything

Tattoos: If it involves needles, thats a nope

Right or left handed: Right handed 

Ever had surgery: Dental sorta shit but thats about it

Piercings: Ears when I was 10ish and I nearly passed out afterwards

Sport: HAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha

Vacation: I haven’t got any plans any time soon but I have been to Barcelona, Brisbane and Bulgaria

MORE GENERAL

Eating: Was eating Skips earlier

Drinking: Still in that pretty 7up free

About to watch: Probably some crappy action movie

Waiting for: Me to get the confidence to open commissions and finish some artwork

Want: To move out, I would really like to get a place with my boyfriend and I’m sure my brother who’s going to college and is 6ft odd would appreciate having a bigger bedroom

Get married: Maybe in the not so far future??

Career: I really want to get myself out there and just start making some good art. I love drawing for people because I know it makes them happy so it makes me happy too; they always say do something that you enjoy

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: A mixture of both is always good

Lips or eyes: Eyes, they’re so pretty and no pair is really the same

Shorter or taller: Taller, I want people to sweep me off my feet and make me feel dainty

Older or younger: Older I guess?

Nice arms or stomach: Gimme those beefy arms

Hookup or relationship: Relationship, never really understood the enjoyment behind a hookup

Troublemaker or hesitant: God please hesitant, my anxiety can’t take troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Again like the hookups, never really appealed to me. The idea of just kissing someone you don’t know if gross

Drunk hard liquor: Does a large glass of coke with the tiniest bit of vodka count

Lost glasses: My pair now are the first ones I’ve had and I haven’t lost them just yet

Turned someone down: The guy who introduced me to my boyfriend in high school....yeah

Sex on first date: Only had one first date, we were 15, he was 3 hours late and we went to see Transformers 3 so that should tell you all you need to know

Broken someones heart: Highly doubt it

Had your heart broken: nah

Been arrested: I’ve been in a police van and car but never been arrested

Cried when someone died: I didn’t cry my Grandma died, at her funeral and I still haven’t

Fallen for a friend: Well Danny was a friend before we went out so I guess??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: I wouldn’t trust me with an egg

Miracles: Nope

Love at first sight: Nope, love is hard af

Santa Claus: Not anymore like

Kiss on a first date: I mean if you’re both up for it, sure!

Angels: Atheist so nah

OTHERS

Best friend’s name: Phoebe, we’ve been friends for 8 years now, the first thing she ever said to me was “your cake looks like its on crack” and we’ve been friends ever since

Eye colour: Steely blue, I’m the only one of my dads six kids to get his eye colour, everyone else has their mothers

Fave movie: I don’t really have a favourite, I spend more time watching Youtube videos than anything else really

Fave actors: Never really had a favourite, just generally anyone who is a sweetheart

Thanks for tagging me in Nina!! I’m gonna tag @izzy-cat and @cattwomannn and really anyone else can have a go!!

[bakedpotaatoo]

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

ayyyy good morning?

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

We broke up, she cheated on me

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

yes definitely

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

Nope, but i wished i had my moms last name instead

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

My sin wasnt a great as what she did to me, i tried to better myself for her. But her heart wasnt mine to keep any longer.

7. What does your last received text say?

XD

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Ive no idea? 3 years worth of kisses. Apparently, it was too much for her

9. Where was your last kiss at?

The Airport

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

1 week ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Water

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My room

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

No, I don't think so. I do believe it is about love and hard work, it takes 2 hands to clap.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 

Honestly, i wouldn't. She started falling out of love with me long before. It wouldn't change anything. I'll still be hurt and dying on the inside

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Yes, ill slap her. You don't get to play with my feelings to save your own. This is why I deserved better

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Rainy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

ohhhh definitely no one

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Im wear no pants

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

Definitely. I’ll love her like no other

20. Does anyone like you?

For now, not that i know of, but one of friends tryna hit on me??

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Nope

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

-.- DUH Im gay too

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

I can sit tho. But there isnt

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yup im getting a new one this saturday to tell me life is beautiful

25. In the past week have you cried?

Everyday.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

Brown Poodle

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Nope

29. Do you think you’re old?

Well, I'm 21. Age is just a number

30. Do you like text messaging?

Yes, i do. My messages on my phone has been really empty recently

31. What type of day are you having?

Mellow

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Yes. Tons of times, maybe its time i should

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? 

Cold Weathers are great

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Not really

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Long Term Relationship for me definitely. But i guess for now, ill like flings.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Simple to take care, Complicated emotionally

37. What song are you listening to?

Fickle game by Amber Run

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Yes. All the time 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yes. My ex 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

I don't really have anyone I like right now. I'm focus on placing all my love to into myself 41. When did you last receive a text message?

15 mins ago 42. What is wrong with you right now?

I lost the love of my life and I was still deeply in love with her. I cant eat or sleep properly.  43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

Yes. I went camping with her 44. Does anyone disgust you?

Nose Pickers in public

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Yes. But I'll tell them what I am going through now. 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

I'm feeling meh 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

Lucas 48. What colour shirt are you wearing?

White 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

”I loved you” 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

My ex 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

I still love her. Ill never hate her even though she hurt me badly

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Nope 53. Do you like rain?

I love it. 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Not Really, if they wanna drink they can drink 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Nope. 56. Do you like to cuddle?

Yes I love it 57. Are you shy?

Nope 58. Do you get along with girls?

Yes. Very well. Until they find out im gay and awkwardly go away. 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nope 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Phone, Keys and wallet 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Nope. I wouldn't. I hate playing with spiritual stuff 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Definitely if im looking at long term. 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

Yes. 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Yes. Its so peaceful and calm 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I dont recall anything cute.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

72, 19, 21,

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

Myself     68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?   

None  69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

No car, no stickers 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

Luke Bryan

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

iPhone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?   

6 months ago?  73. Do you like diet soda?    

yuck 74. What color are the walls in your room?    

purple 75. Are you 16 or older?    

yes 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

used to be 77. Do you have a job?    

nope   78. What are your initials?   

NHCSL 79. Did you ever have braces?  

nope. i had retainers.   80. Are you from the south?    

More like SOUTH EAST ASIA

81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

Nothing.   82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

Yes. 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

My dad. 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

nope 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?   

Dont recall  86. Do you smoke?    

No. But i might pick it up. 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Heels for class, flips for sloppy days 88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Yes 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 

Curly    90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  

Nope   91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

Pool 92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

Nope 93. …Had sex in a car?    

Nope 94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

Single  95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

Playing games     96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?  

Live fireworks would be 2 years ago? 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yes 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?  

Nope.   99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

ayyyy, i think 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  

Nope.   101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?  

gay so phew   102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    none

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    Yes. 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    HA ill do that