#Travel Trailers Portland

[traveltrailershill]

Discover Your Perfect RV: A Guide to RV Dealers in the Portland Area

Portland, Oregon, is not only known for its vibrant culture and stunning landscapes but also as a gateway to outdoor adventures. Whether you’re heading to the coast, exploring the mountains, or camping in the woods, having the right RV makes all the difference. At Cascade RV, we’re proud to be among the top RV dealers in Portland, Oregon, offering a diverse selection of RVs, trailers, and campers to fit every lifestyle.

Why Choose Cascade RV?

When looking for RV sales near Portland, Oregon, it’s essential to select a dealership that understands your needs. Cascade RV stands out due to:

Extensive Inventory: From travel trailers to small RVs, we have options for every type of adventurer.

Expert Guidance: Our knowledgeable staff is dedicated to helping you find the perfect RV that fits your lifestyle and budget.

Comprehensive Services: Beyond sales, we offer maintenance and support to keep your RV in top shape.

Types of RVs Available in the Portland Area

Travel Trailers: Ideal for families and those who enjoy a bit more space. Our RV trailers for sale in Portland include various models that combine comfort with convenience.

Truck Campers: For the more adventurous, truck campers are easy to maneuver and perfect for spontaneous trips. They offer flexibility without sacrificing comfort.

Motorhomes: For those seeking the ultimate convenience, motorhomes provide everything you need in one vehicle. Explore our selection to find the right fit for your adventures.

Small RVs: If you prefer something more compact, we have a range of small RVs for sale in Portland that offer easy towing and parking without compromising on essential amenities.

Used RVs: Our inventory includes quality used RVs for sale in Portland, Oregon, allowing you to enjoy the RV lifestyle at a more affordable price. Each unit is thoroughly inspected for quality and reliability.

Exploring Portland with Your RV

With your new RV, the adventures around Portland are limitless. Here are some must-visit destinations:

Columbia River Gorge: Known for its breathtaking scenery and hiking trails, this area is a short drive from Portland and offers numerous campgrounds for RVs.

Oregon Coast: Experience the stunning coastline with its beaches and charming towns. Many RV-friendly campgrounds line the coast, perfect for a weekend getaway.

Mount Hood National Forest: Ideal for camping and outdoor activities, Mount Hood is accessible and offers various campgrounds suitable for RVs.

Tips for Buying an RV in Portland

When searching for RV dealerships in Portland, keep these tips in mind:

Research Local Dealerships: Explore reviews and ratings of RV dealers near Portland, Oregon, to find a trustworthy option. Cascade RV is well-reviewed for its excellent service and inventory.

Know Your Needs: Consider how you plan to use your RV. Will you be traveling solo, with family, or as a couple? This will guide your choice.

Set a Budget: Determine your budget before visiting dealerships. This will help narrow down your options and avoid overspending.

Inspect Used RVs Thoroughly: If you're considering a used RV, ensure it undergoes a thorough inspection. Look for signs of wear and tear, and ask about maintenance history.

Test Drive: Always take the RV for a test drive to get a feel for handling and comfort.

Cascade RV: Your Trusted RV Store in Portland

As a leading RV store in Portland, we pride ourselves on offering not just vehicles but an entire lifestyle. Our team is passionate about RVing and is here to provide you with expert advice and support throughout your buying journey.

Visit Us Today!

Ready to find your ideal RV? Whether you're interested in camper trailers for sale in Portland or looking for a comprehensive selection of RVs for sale near Portland, Oregon, Cascade RV has you covered. Our friendly team is eager to help you explore your options and answer any questions you may have.

Conclusion

Finding the right RV can transform your travel experiences. At Cascade RV, we’re dedicated to helping you discover the perfect vehicle that suits your adventures around Portland and beyond. With a wide selection of new and used RVs, expert guidance, and comprehensive services, we are your go-to destination for all things RV in the Portland area. Visit us today and start your journey toward unforgettable adventures!

FAQs for RV Dealers in Portland

1. What RV dealers are available in the Portland area? There are several RV dealers in the Portland area, including Cascade RV, offering a wide range of new and used RVs, trailers, and campers.

2. Where can I find RVs for sale near Portland, Oregon? You can find a variety of RVs for sale at local dealerships, including Cascade RV, which features both new and used options to suit different budgets.

3. What types of RVs do dealerships in Portland offer? RV dealerships in Portland offer a diverse selection, including travel trailers, fifth wheels, truck campers, and motorhomes, as well as small RVs suitable for various lifestyles.

4. Are there used RVs for sale in Portland, Oregon? Yes! Many dealers, including those in the Portland area, have a wide selection of used RVs available. These units are inspected for quality and reliability.

5. How do I choose the right RV dealer in Portland? Consider factors like inventory variety, customer reviews, service offerings, and the dealer’s expertise. Visiting multiple RV dealers near Portland can help you make an informed decision.

6. What are some popular RV models for sale in Portland? Popular models vary, but you can often find a selection of travel trailers, fifth wheels, and small RVs that cater to families and solo travelers alike.

7. Is financing available for RV purchases in Portland? Yes, most RV dealers, including those in Portland, offer financing options to help you purchase your RV. The financing team can assist you in finding a plan that fits your budget.

8. Do RV dealerships in Portland provide maintenance services? Many RV dealerships in the Portland area offer maintenance and repair services to keep your RV in optimal condition after purchase.

9. What should I consider when buying a used RV in Portland? When buying a used RV, check its condition, maintenance history, and any warranties available. It’s also advisable to have a thorough inspection done before purchase.

10. Where can I find camper trailers for sale in Portland? Camper trailers are available at various RV dealers in the Portland area, including Cascade RV. Our selection includes new and used models to meet your camping needs.

11. Are there small RVs for sale in Portland? Yes, many RV dealerships in Portland offer small RVs designed for easy maneuverability and efficient living, perfect for couples or solo travelers.

12. How can I find the best RV sales near Portland, Oregon? Research local RV dealerships online, check customer reviews, and visit in person to explore their inventory. This will help you find the best deals and services available.

13. Can I trade in my current RV at a Portland dealer? Most RV dealers in the Portland area accept trade-ins, allowing you to apply the value of your current RV toward the purchase of a new or used model.

[carlyleandco]

SHOT BY SHOT LET'S GO PT 1

Okay so first we have the infamous ghost lamp. I absolutely love the design, it has such an otherworldly yet steam punky vibe, @vryfmi did a great post on the use of brutalist architecture on the show, which I encourage everyone to read!

This seems to be Lucy travelling on the train to London after the incident with Jacobs'. It seems like she is either drawing (which would be fantastic, I hope we see artist! Lucy) or looking through newspapers for potential jobs.

Shot from the teaser! Annie Ward plotline here we come!

Lucy at Kings Cross arriving in London for the first time? I've noticed Lucy's colour in the series primarily, or almost exclusively, seems to be blue.

I have a feeling this woman is the one talking at the start of the trailer: "It's terrible the world's come to this...I feel sorry for your generation." She appears to have noticed Lucy in agent gear, perhaps looking a little lost and forlorn.

Lucy reading the advertisement! Interesting design for the agency's name.

If you need me, I'll be at 35 Portland Row. Honestly looks EXACTLY how I always pictured it!

Lucy and George's first interaction <3 <3 <3

Looks like this is the sitting room? I love the cluttered nature of Portland Row; is that a TV I see in the background? What happened to "To think some people just watch TV" Lockwood?

George my beloved

Can't wait to see them break a gourd <3

Kudos to the props/design team, it's actually eerie how similar it looks to the way I always imagined!

Judging by the background, specifically the columns, this looks to be Kensal Green, Lucy and Lockwood seem to be kicking down the door to the chapel in order to rescue George and they look like they are about to kick some serious ass as well!

Lucy and Lockwood waiting to go into the Hope’s house? I remember as they were waiting, Lucy saw movement in the window and presumed the family to be home, only for the daughter to arrive straight after.

Meeting Annie Ward. This seems to play out different from the book in which Lucy had to call gently out for Lockwood so as not to disturb her. They seem to instead find her together in this scene. Although we do have a shot of Lucy facing her alone.

How I'm going to look tomorrow morning after staying up analysing the trailer

Lucy and Lockwood in the Hope’s?

You know what time it is? Arson time.

Lucy and Lockwood putting the company into serious debt.

The man, the myth, the legend. Montague Barnes looking mighty fine if I do say so myself. He looks extremely done with everyone, A+. He is with Kipps here, most likely investigating the Bone Mirror case.

Couples who do arson together, stay together. I love how they are just standing around in that second shot, taking in just how terribly they've screwed everything up, the vibes are immaculate.

Talented. Brilliant. Incredible. Amazing. Show stopping. Spectacular.

[thelensofyashunews]

YEAT SHARES FIFTH LP LYFESTYLE  

Yeat has kicked off a new era with the release of latest highly anticipated album LYFESTYLE—out now via Lyfestyle Corporation / Field Trip / Capitol Records. Earlier this year, Yeat catapulted the world into the future with the release of blockbuster project 2093. Now, he travels back to present day to deliver LYFESTYLE, a thrilling rap album highlighting the dynamic and experimental style that’s become synonymous of Yeat’s growing discography while also paying homage to the young artist’s early career. Today’s release of LYFESTYLE cements Yeat as one of hip hop’s most established and respected new artists, being embraced by peers with superstar collaborations across the album including Don Toliver, Lil Durk, and Kodak Black. The new album also arrives alongside new merch in collaboration with designer Heron Person and Cactus Plant Flea Market. The 21-track project showcases Yeat continuing his fruitful creative relationships with some of his original collaborators including Summrs and producer Synthetic. LYFESTYLE masterfully weaves these traces of nostalgia with newer elements of Yeat’s experimental side – seen in songs like "Gone 4 a min" and "Forever again".

LYFESTYLE arrives on the heels of a massive year for Yeat, following February’s release of album 2093, his fourth entry in the Top 10 in only 2 years: Lyfë (No. 10 in 2022), 2 Alivë (No. 6 in 2022), AftërLyfe (No. 4 in 2023) and 2093 (No. 2 in 2024). Teasing for LYFESTYLE kicked off this summer when Yeat hinted at new music during his highly curated special three-show tour run across New York, Los Angeles and Portland, selling out legendary venues including Brooklyn Mirage, The Shrine, and Portland’s Theater of the Clouds. The first official announce of the upcoming album arrived in September when Yeat’s Lyfestyle Corporation confirmed the name LYFESTYLE through a video graffitiing the word across a Lamborghini. This reveal was followed closely by another video taking over New York’s Times Square billboards to announce LYFESTYLE’S October release, and the official album trailer which can be viewed here. Most recently, Yeat embarked on an international tour across the EU & UK—an explosive run through 9 cities which included his first ever headlining show in London, which The Guardian noted as a “ribcage-reverberating success”—before the final album easter egg earlier this week when Lyfestyle Corporation unveiled an eerie video of massive flame letters spelling out the album name in a deserted field. Now, LYFESTYLE has finally arrived, see full track-listing below.

[kolajmag]

FROM THE ARTIST DIRECTORY

Constructed Collages of Events

Portland, Oregon, USA. Todd Elliott's sculptures are collages using graphic, motion and places. Here, the collages are shapes and images commonly seen in traffic, or any distant travel by road; where we see buildings, signs, trailers and vehicles of all types. These are constructed collages of events from his imagination. He has always been fascinated by shiny surfaces, like those on cars, gas station signs and glass, but discovered, these reflections are the sources for his imagination. A few forms have taken shape in his work; MXR, HAULRS, along with a newer relief format, THRU. Read More

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Kolaj Magazine, a full color, print magazine, exists to show how the world of collage is rich, layered, and thick with complexity. By remixing history and culture, collage artists forge new thinking. To understand collage is to reshape one's thinking of art history and redefine the canon of visual culture that informs the present.

SUBSCRIBE | CURRENT ISSUE | GET A COPY

SIGN UP TO GET EMAILS

[whiskeyandphotos]

The drive up the 101 to the 1 is always nicer once you’re past Ventura. The suburbs are soulless and boring, but once you’re up in Ventura and beyond you’re driving along the coast, and that’s a treat for everyone.

Being as I was driving up to Big Sur on a Sunday, I was being passed by the weekenders on their way home for the week. I was passed by trucks towing Shastas, Casistas, and Airstreams constantly. I recognized them from being on the road with Foxy the Trailer and noticing other trailers on those travels. A turquoise and white Shasta being towed by a ’55 Chevy with the same paint job caught my eye just south of Cambria. It’s funny to remember that all of these fiberglass trailers were designed to be towed behind big American V8s back in the day.

Cambria is where the scenery really begins to change, and where the SoCal coast falls away to a different world. Instead of palm trees you get pines and the water changes from deep blue to more of a blue and turquoise as it flows in to meet the coastline. This part of the state really feels more like Portland, and if it weren’t for the PCH signs and California-specific signs you could be forgiven for thinking you were elsewhere.

I rolled along up the 1 and got into Big Sur around 2:30 or so. Not bad time, really. The only thing hurting is my wallet from driving a vehicle that gets 20 mpg, maybe, on the best of days. Still, Fiona the FJ was all packed up and ready for adventure and we arrived at our destination!

Setting up camp was a breeze. My spot didn’t have trees close enough to use with the hammock I found on OfferUp, but the OfferUp tent went right up in a flash and once I got the air mattress in the tent, home was ready. It was cloudy that afternoon, which made me nervous about seeing the skies over the next couple of days since it was a new moon and that meant seeing the stars in all their unbridled glory. My fears were unfounded nights two and three though, the sky was crystal clear and I could see the Milky Way with my naked eyes.

Once camp was setup, and it dawned on me that this was my first solo camping trip in Big Sur, I decided to go for a short walk to Pfeiffer Falls at the front of the park. Other than the stairs about halfway down the path, it wasn’t really a hike and was more of a walk. Being surrounded by nothing but greenery and redwoods is one of those moments you commit to memory. While they’re not as big as what you see in King’s Canyon or Sequoia Nat’l Park, they’re still imposing and beautiful. The creek running alongside the walking path had a surprising amount of water flowing through it so I was excited about what I might see at the waterfall itself! It wasn’t as spectacular as hoped but it was still nice. I had the entire area to myself for a good few minutes and the silence out there was one of those things I wish I had more of here in the city. Just you and your heartbeat out in nature, as the universe intended.

[omgokiguess]

I'm a little scared to move. I lived in st pete longer than I lived in Portland or Chicago or California. And it's soooooo far. It might take us 5 days to drive there. And we're only bringing what we can fit in the Subaru, we're not getting a uhaul trailer like we did when we moved here. I'm giving my 65" tv to my best friend and we're abandoning all furniture. I'm going to eventually ask my dad if he wants my grandma's desk back but if not I'm leaving it at the thrift store. It's just so far. But I know it will be worth it and I'm excited and I know my husband is going to love it. It's just kind of a lot but I know it will all be worth it in the end. I'm kind of excited to get a new bed too. Our mattress is like cheap and almost 4 years old and it'll be nice to get a cozy new bed. I'm getting pootnip a small traveling cage too and he's gonna come in the hotels with us every night. It's definitely like truly going rogue

[throwaim]

Axe Throwing Across Cities: Portland, Vancouver, Austin

Axe throwing has become a wildly popular activity across the U.S., and Portland, Vancouver, and Austin are no exception. Whether you're looking for a fun weekend activity or a way to spice up a special event, axe throwing delivers excitement and adrenaline like no other. If you're in Vancouver, WA, the axe throwing scene is growing quickly, with venues popping up all over the city. But did you know you can bring this thrilling experience right to your own backyard or event with an c?

An axe throwing trailer rental is perfect for any event, from birthdays and bachelor parties to corporate team-building events. These mobile units are fully equipped with professional-grade targets and supervised by trained staff who ensure safety while teaching you how to throw axes like a pro. For those in Vancouver, WA, renting an axe throwing trailer means you can enjoy all the fun of axe throwing without having to travel to a facility—whether you're hosting a gathering at your home, a park, or a larger venue, the trailer brings the experience right to you.

Axe throwing trailer rentals are available not just in axe throwing vancouver wa, but also in nearby Portland and even in Austin. Each trailer is self-contained, making it easy to set up at almost any location. With expert instructors guiding participants through proper techniques, it’s accessible and enjoyable for both beginners and seasoned throwers.

If you’re looking to add a unique twist to your next event, consider an axe throwing trailer rental. Whether you’re in Vancouver, WA, Portland, or Austin, you can bring the thrill of axe throwing to your event, ensuring a memorable experience for you and your guests.

[bridgetownexpressllc]

Comprehensive Guide to California Auto Transport Services

California, known for its vast landscapes, bustling cities, and scenic coastal routes, is a hub for auto transport services. Whether you're relocating, buying a vehicle online, or transporting a classic car to a show, understanding the intricacies of California auto transport services can save you time, money, and stress.

What Are Auto Transport Services?

Auto transport services specialize in moving vehicles from one location to another. This can range from standard cars and motorcycles to luxury, classic, and oversized vehicles. These services cater to a variety of needs, such as individual moves, dealership deliveries, and corporate relocations.

Types of Auto Transport Services

Open Carrier Transport:

Description: The most common and economical option, open carrier transport involves shipping vehicles on open trailers.

Pros: Cost-effective and widely available.

Cons: Vehicles are exposed to weather elements and road debris.

Enclosed Carrier Transport:

Description: This method uses enclosed trailers to protect vehicles from external conditions.

Pros: Provides maximum protection against weather and road hazards.

Cons: More expensive compared to open carrier transport.

Door-to-Door Service:

Description: Vehicles are picked up and delivered directly to specified locations.

Pros: Convenience of not having to drive to terminals.

Cons: May be costlier and less flexible in remote areas.

Terminal-to-Terminal Service:

Description: Involves dropping off and picking up vehicles at designated terminals.

Pros: Usually cheaper than door-to-door services.

Cons: Less convenient, as it requires traveling to and from the terminals.

Choosing a Reliable Auto Transport Service

Selecting the right transport service is crucial for a smooth experience. Here are some tips to help you make an informed decision:

Research and Reviews:

Look for companies with positive customer feedback and high ratings on review platforms.

Check for any recurring issues or complaints about damage or delays.

Insurance Coverage:

Verify the insurance coverage provided by the transport company.

Ensure it covers potential damages during transit.

Experience and Expertise:

Opt for companies with experience in handling the specific type of vehicle you need to transport.

Specialized services may be necessary for luxury, classic, or oversized vehicles.

Quotes and Pricing:

Obtain multiple quotes to compare prices and services.

Be wary of extremely low quotes, as they might indicate subpar services.

Licensing and Accreditation:

Ensure the company is licensed and registered with the Department of Transportation (DOT) and Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration (FMCSA).

Preparing Your Vehicle for Transport

Before handing over your vehicle, follow these steps to ensure a smooth transport process:

Clean Your Vehicle: This helps in conducting a thorough inspection for pre-existing damages.

Remove Personal Items: Transport companies typically do not cover personal belongings left in the vehicle.

Document Existing Damage: Take photos and note any pre-existing damages to avoid disputes later.

Check Fluid Levels: Ensure that all fluids are at appropriate levels and there are no leaks.

Disable Alarms: Avoid unnecessary issues by disabling any active alarms.

California auto transport services offer a range of options to suit different needs and budgets. Whether you opt for open or enclosed transport, door-to-door service, or terminal-to-terminal delivery, choosing a reliable company is key. By following the tips provided and preparing your vehicle adequately, you can ensure a seamless and stress-free auto transport experience in the Golden State.

For more info:-

Convenient Door-to-Door Auto Delivery

Portland's trusted auto haulers

[tvguidancecounselor]

TV Guidance Counselor Episode 616: Brian Trenchard-Smith

This week Ken welcomes esteemed, accomplished director and author of the field guide/memoir "Adventures in the B-Movie Trade", Brian Trenchard-Smith to the show.

Ken and Brian discuss the weather in Portland, Brian's travels around the world, his appreciation for everything he's gotten to do, visiting Soviet Russian in 1968, falling in love with cinema after seeing a Hitchcock film, how you should see a local movie in the native language in every country you visit, developing your taste in film, how the world is smaller, but not as substantive in many ways, forgetting your Italian accent, strange double features, taking acting classes with Barry Manilow, being only able to play a British Army Officer, knowing from age 13 you want to make movies, the closed show that was the British Film Industry, Australian television, editing Hammer Horror films, working for the ABC, editing sex and violence filled TV promos, sort of forging a recommendation letter, Raymond Burr, Ironsides, Number 96, Prisoner in Cell Block H, learning how cinema production worked, Beauty pageants for girls AND cars, Concourse Del Ellgance', stunts, making documentaries, Bruce Lee, Man from Hong King, Stunt Rock, why every young filmmaker needs a calling card, Hong Kong Cinema, cannibalizing your own films, World of Kung Fu (which no longer exists), Kung Fu Killers, editing news film and the pressure of it going down to the wire, news directors wanting to kill you, Japanese Cinema, Seven Samurai, Rashomon, being OBSESSED with trailers growing up, The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires, visiting the set of Shatter, Roy Ward Baker, finding financing, hopping on a trend too late, the Bruce Lee clones, being bored by love scenes in films, parody, being subversive, hang gliders, Dead End Drive In, having to watch three hours of Once Upon a Time in the West so you can cut the trailer, Leprechaun in Space, enjoying the days when you physically handled film, enjoying your films with an audience, the 1988 Mission Impossible, Sahara with Jim Belushi, directing Flipper, being proud of different films for different reasons, Seconds to Spare, diehard on a train, replacing Dolph Lundgren with Antonio Sabato Jr, Happy Face Murders with Ann-Margaret, and the awe of making and watching Omega Code 2.

and be sure to buy Brian's fantastic book "Adventures in the B Movie Trade"

[deanmiles13]

LEAVE THE DRIVING TO US…

A.K.A.

MEETING CRAIG WAGNER

Oh, to travel America and the open road. Especially when you’re not doing the driving. 

I had done this particular trip before. On The Dog as they say.. The Greyhound bus.

It was the affordable way to travel for the dirtier denizens of our society. No half decent human being would EVER subject themselves to the punishment the dog can deal out. It could be considered a large, long trailer with seating on both sides and the shitter in the back. It reeked of whatever agent they used to mask the original odor in the first place. So imagine having to endure 3 plus days on this journey. AND you’re only 15 years old. 

I would often be mistaken much older for my age and also for being in the military. I had a really close shaved haircut and traveled with all my belongings in a gunny sack. A green military bag for all their stuff, which I obtained at the army surplus. Which is where I also got my combat boots. So, I guess I can see how I was putting that vibe out. 

But this was also the early 80’s and what T shirt you wore, spoke volumes about WHO you were.

That is what set me apart here. It was a fucking killer print I have never seen before or since of Suicidal Tendencies. Had the sleeves cut off and the sides split. And when I boarded the bus for a return trip BACK to Indiana, this was my calling card and it got the attention of two dudes as soon as I boarded in downtown Tucson. When the bus station was across from Hotel Congress. They also had a “calling card” that only certain people would know. This was more intense than just a shirt too. It was a tattoo. And not just any tattoo, but a MOTORHEAD tattoo.

The best band ever. It’s a know fact to any punk or metal head. It was this tattoo, that turned my head as I searched for an empty seat. Hopefully not too far from this lot…

The bus pulled out and immediately the older of the two came over grinning from ear to ear. He said “Hey.. My name is Craig. Where ya headed?” And he plopped down into the empty seat next to me. I told him “Indiana” and that was about it. I just though he was too cool to want to talk with me and that couldn’t have been further from the truth. 

With the passing of time, details are lost, but he introduced me to his brother. We talked music and all that. I showed him my puny “X” tattoo. He didn’t laugh or anything and just said “Oh, I love them!”

There was a stop somewhere along the way I do recall, that we got off and had a little time. The three of us headed to a store and they ended up getting some peppermint schnapps. We snuck it back on the bus and all took turns knippin’ on it. The stories continued and they told me about being from Santa Rosa, CA. Tales of seeing all the good bands and then the bus stopped and they had to get off. It occurred, I never even asked where they were going. 

I believe it was New Mexico… Craig leaned over to me and snuck the schnapps into my leather jacket inside pocket and handed me something. “You got a bit of a trip ahead of you and you might need this more than me.” It was some sorta sleeping pills. Nothing heavy… If I remember correctly!

This was a mighty generous offer and made me feel a little better about this hellish journey I was in for. 

I had to go back to Indiana because It was the middle of summer when I moved to Tucson and It was too much for me. I begged my Great Grandmother, Hazel, for the bus fair. It was like a hundred bucks or something. I loved her so much. I could trust her with my secrets and know she passed no judgement. Just wanted me to be safe out there at 15 years old. I was tossed to Tucson when my Mom had enough of me fucking up her perfect new marriage. “SO… You wanna go meet your Dad?!?!” I jumped at the chance and left immediately after my sophomore year at Pike High School. Enduring the bus trip that time around, I knew exactly what I was in for this trip. Like my friend Abel said one time after taking the bus up to Portland to see me. “Dude, I swear, when you hit Ashland, the people on the bus are like in a G.G. Allin look a like contest. They smell like him too!”

So, I just popped the pills into my mouth and took the cap off the schnapps and guzzled. 

Wake me up when I get there….

We’ll skip that part actually and just say, me going back to Indiana and thinking it was gonna work, was insane. I mean, I was 15! Come on… I wasn’t the brightest bulb yet.

I can only equate it to taking a caged animal at the zoo and setting it free for the first time. Then go and retrieve said animal and put it back in the cage. Not a good recipe. I hopped on the next Dog outta town and relished the trip and all the new people I would meet.

Hell… I slept through one stop and ended up in Oklahoma somehow and had to get on another bus going the way I need to go. That set me back another day or so, but what the fuck. 

There really wasn’t anyone especially waiting for me. 

The situation with Pops was one that had me running for the nearest exit and shacking up with anyone that would take me. Girlfriends, maybe their unsuspecting parents, schoolmates, girls I would take home. Oh wait, I mean, take me to their homes. You get the picture. I was scraping by. So much so that the girl I was with at this point was a beautiful girl who actually sought me out. Quite shocking, as it may have been the first REAL chance I had at really being with a woman. Not a girl…

We had ourselves this killer hole in the ground that we called home. And when I say hole in the ground, I mean A HOLE IN THE GROUND. It was under an adobe in Tucson. We “rented” the place from maybe someone we knew from school?!?! I’m not certain. The woman who lived there spoke little English and was old school Mexican. She cooked stuff for us and I think was happy to have us there. We were in fucking High School and there was actually another couple that we shared it with. Man… I went back there one time and had a chance to peek in the “basement” that we lived in and it was shocking. Even to me… I mean, just ask anyone from Tucson if they have a “basement” and you’ll get the picture.

We had a 7-11 near us that we frequented for many of the things we needed. The girls with their cigarettes and us with our beer. Well, we all smoked and drank, what am I talking about?

Anyway, to give this some more air and let the timeline shore up a little bit, I had started school at Cholla H.S. for a semester and then got over to Project MORE. It was an alternative school that had all sorts of kids trying to finish the time there. I’m gonna guess that it was at least 6 month to a year passed since I was on that initial bus trip home.

Being broke and having tons of time on our hands, we had those hands extended for spare change at the local 7-11 one afternoon. Nothing special was going down except the usual “Get a job!” And sexual advances on the girls… Then a motorcycle was pulling into the lot. I always checked out bikes and the make and model. What the person riding was wearing and everything. I grew up in it and longed for my own bike real soon.

This particular make was 70’s era B.M.W. the exact details lost to time, but the ONE detail I did notice on the rider was a Motorhead tattoo!!! Nice…. 

Wait!!!???!!! I remembered a guy who had a similar tattoo, but anyone could get that tattooed.

But his hair… It was spiky and not long and greasy. His face too… It was young at dare I say movie star like. It wasn’t some old grey beard! This was all a little too close to coincidence, so I followed behind. I let him do his thing and I believe he grabbed some beer. He was making his way to exit and I looked him straight on and asked “Is your name Craig?” 

He kind of looked surprised and then I think it started to sink in with him, and before he could put it together, I explained that I was that kid on the bus!!!

We both confirmed that indeed it was the both of us on the bus that time and we made our way outside. He had a girl with him and explained what it was all about and I caught my lady up on the near cosmic coincidence that was taking place at of all places, a 7-11.

Craig then explained how they had literally JUST pulled into to Tucson and were wondering about their next move. He mentions something about needing to unload some smoke he had brought and I explained that was NOT gonna be a problem. He then said they needed a place to stay. I said, again, that will not be a problem. “You can stay with us!”

Now, this is where again, I might not remember everything. But they probably followed us the few blocks back to the hole and took one look in there and decided to take their chances with the rattlesnakes and javelina in the desert.

Betsy and I did eventually get out of that little pit and got a nice space on the corner of 6th and ?

This place actually had a basement. I KNOW huh?!?!? What are the odds. 

We rented it from an elderly couple who live across the alley. The house itself was across from Tucson H.S.

We had random “Hobo” types stop and knock on our door. They asked for food and we were miffed by it. I think we mentioned it to someone one day and they said we had “Hobo Markings” in the yard. Some rocks were arranged a certain way and that was the signal.

We also had a really spooky situation there.

One night, Betsy and I decided to spend the night in the front living room. We had lived there for a little while already and felt okay there. Well, not this night. I know we weren’t creeping ourselves out. We had a pull out couch that was there when we moved in, and we just were laying there and both of us sort of got up at the same time and said enough of this.

It was the weirdest vibe I’ve ever experienced. It was definitely like some was watching us. 

And we were not welcome there at that time. I got our blankets rounded up and Betsy was back in our bedroom before I could get there.

To be honest, I think it had something to do with that basement. When we moved in, of course we went down there and thought “Band Room” but it was all finished and had surfaced areas. 

But, at the end of the room was this steamer trunk. 

Just sitting there. I mean, the place did come “furnished” but what was this?

So we opened it and there were some clothes and who can remember. But I did get a cool pair of paints that were awesome 50’s or 60’s era. They were green slack type pants that were pegged. Man, they were sweet. Maybe the dead haunted our living room for messing with the trunk down there?

The place we had was attached to other units and had a courtyard in the center of our backyards. We eventually got Craig and his girl moved into our next door unit.

It was cool, because we all were taking care of each other and Craig and I tried to put together some music, but I was just a drummer and he was just a singer. I’m not sure if he played guitar or not….

But that fizzled, and we still were friends. Spending time together listening to records and just hanging out in general. He turned me onto Metallica’s demo tape when we lived together. We both loved FANG. And of course Motorhead!!!

I never got up to any trouble with Craig. He always seemed focused.

My life was swirling at a mile a minute and he seemed a little older and knew what to do.

With him just hitting town, he still need to find his crowd. I think he fell in with the Blood Spasm crew and it’s not like our worlds never collided. Hell, they were our best buds.

But, at some point we all moved on… He got another place and we did as well. 

Craig and Leelanne became a “Thing” and were soon to be wedded!

Man, he was trucking and I was just spinning my wheels. 

Well, I probably didn’t need to be married at 16 years old. That’s for sure.

But, they were doing it and we all got to be a part of the great day.

I recall we departed from the OZ house in Sam Zero’s truck. It was a tiny Toyota pickup and probably fit 5-6 people. Tops…

The wedding was at a home I believe, somewhere “WE” were not used to being. In the hills or something like that. It was kind of intimate and family was in town, so of course our “crew” was the odd man out here. We of course hit the bar and scarfed any food available and then made our way out to the pool area. Man, this was swank! 

I remember a nice big pool with people just chilling out and having a great time. 

A little band was gathered in the corner playing some standard tunes. Nothing wild, nothing too boring. Just a decent band… 

Well, get a room full of musicians all drunk and loose and said band takes a breather….

Look out!!!

“Hey Dean!!! We should get up there and play some Hendrix” Paul Young, says to me.

He was the guitarist in Blood Spasm who was known for doing a Gene Simmons gimmick with the blood capsules in the mouth routine. Looked awesome.

Anyway, we are pestering the band, they of course just give us the brush. We meander around, somewhat disgruntled and eventually just resume free drinks and food.

I make my way over to the people I came with…. ( I can’t remember if we brought Paul with us or not) But I was just chilling out on the side of the pool nearest the house. Across the pool is a small wall that surrounds the pool and property. 

Well, a little swell of commotion if going on over there and we hear people starting to yell and scream “PAUL!!! DON’T”

And before I could say “We got cactus” Paul is buck naked, with his clothes in a pile on the ground and him on top of this little retaining wall. “Hey.. Look at me!” Is what I believe he said as he proceeded to swan dive into the pool.

As he comes up from underwater, he has that huge Paul Young grin on his face and swims towards our side of the pool now. 

There were screams of all sorts that moment. Maybe delight? (Doubtful)

Maybe laughter? Oh yeah.. plenty of laughs. Uncomfortable groans of what to do next.

That was the overwhelming vibe. Paul was that turd in the punch bowl right now, and we all had the scent of shit on us as well. So, he comes up and flicks his curly long hair back and just bellows that laugh of his….

At this point people from inside are making their way to the party outside. And from here it is like this was all scripted. I swear, I thought they had this worked out together. Like in wrestling. Where the two guys do it with a nod and a wink. 

Craig approached the poolside with his just wedded in tuxedo and shining shoes. He looked like a million bucks. And he bent down to talk to Paul sorta under his breath. Bye now, EVERYONE was watching. I mean, you could hear a pin drop. And he extends his hand out to Paul as he’s saying “Paul… I think you need to get OUT of the pool!” 

As calmly and cooly as he can.

And without missing a beat (His comedic timing was perfect) Paul says to Craig…

“NO Craig, I think you need to get IN!” And just yanked Craig into the pool. I think they wrestled around and splashed each other for a split second, but it was met with utter disdain. 

I thought immediately of the suit. The host thought immediately of the cops. And were kind enough to inform us so. 

It was all a blur from there. We made our exit and were met by the sheriffs at our truck. All of us looking crazy and Paul soaking wet with his clothes half on. “Which one of you is driving?” The cops asked us. Luckily Erin got right up there and said 

“ME Officer!” They asked her if she’d been drinking and she shot back “NO, I’m straight edge and don’t drink or take drugs!” Which was NOT true, but did the trick and we got the hell out dodge. I always wonder if we were like that scene in Suburbia, when they had the funeral scene and all the girls family is there and so are the T.R. gang. 

The mom is crying about the punks being there and the dad comes over to say “Don’t you see… We don’t want you here!” And the punk says back “But she’s OUR friend too!”

I imagined that hopefully that was just silly sidebar and hopefully they went on to have a great night. And a great life… 

I kinda lost track of Craig after that. I had heard he joined the military and that was not a surprise. It made me proud to know him and that he wanted to server our country.

I ended up leaving Tucson myself not shortly there after. I moved to Portland and would often remember that bus trip long ago and Craig and how it was such a “Small World” thing when we met there at 7-11 that day. 

Then Facebook brought us all back together and a little closer. We “friended” each other and it was like no time passed. Found out he was in Austin and made it a point to catch up with him, since I am in Austin frequently. In 2019 we did that. I made my way over to his place when he got off that day and we got coffee and went back to his place and chilled outside and caught up. He had arranged for some family and friends to “Meet my buddy Dean”

He made all this food and we had his daughters over. I got to meet the girls he talked so much about. We talked about everything under the sun… Had that dinner and talked some more. He was starting a new job the next day, but that did not stop him from hanging out. He milked his time with me and we said goodnight. I crashed on the couch. Underneath the awesome Tiki painting, or burnings, that he did. He was so talented. I was marveling at the pieces all night and he just off the cuff mentioned, “Oh yeah, I did those!”

I had to get my ass back to Portland the next day and he was up before I even got going so all I had was that small 18 hours with him, but I left full. 

Full of love and companionship. Full of the faith in family and just being there for people. When Craig was with you, he was with YOU. He made you feel important and also shared what was important to him. 

When I think of some of the last post he made about having a cook out with the neighbors that he met, and how they hung out talked after dinner and then figured they would do it more often. Craig had invited one them to a punk rock show, FEAR if I remember correctly. THAT just spoke volumes about WHO he was. To ME at least….

An honest, hard working, patriotic, punk rocker who just loved to break down that stereotype of the menacing punk rocker. If you even dared say hi to him, that’s it, you were hooked. He had ya and before ya knew it, you could be in a band, or riding motorcycles, making art, enjoying live bands, traveling the world… Whatever it was, he seemed ready willing and able.

When we visited, he told me this story about getting ready to leave somewhere after deployment and the higher ups came around looking for “Volunteers” to load ALL the luggage and stuff. Craig said “I raised my hand and said We’ll do it!” Then all the other men in his platoon started to moan and groan “Why did you volunteer US? We are almost done and out of here?”

Craig just said “Trust Me!” 

So they got to humping all this gear and breaking a sweat as everyone else boarded the plane home. When they got all the luggage loaded, the head honcho says to him “Wagner, your group rides first class all the way home!” Craig just gave that all knowing grin and said “SEE?”

I learned of Craigs passing this week and it’s been sitting kinda hard with me.

Trying to imagine the void that his girls and everyone in his life is feeling. It hurts… Only the good die young?!?! 

Huh….  Well that shit sucks!!!!

Craig, you worked hard, you played hard dude!!! Enjoy that first class trip home, brother. 

You fucking earned it. Respect!!!

Your Cosmic Greyhound Bus Buddy:

Dean 13 Miles

[trenthillger]

Top Reasons to Choose RV Rental in Portland For Your Adventure

Embarking on an adventure is one of life's greatest pleasures. Whether you and your family are planning a cross-country road trip, exploring the great outdoors, or you are simply seeking a break from the daily grind. However, the choice of how you travel can significantly impact your experience.

So, while planning for your next short trip, choose the RV rental in Portland to enhance your adventure.  In this article, we will provide you with the top reasons why you should consider renting an RV for your next journey.

Top Reasons to Select RV Rental In Portland

Freedom to Roam

One of the most captivating reasons to choose RV rental is its freedom. Unlike traditional vacations involving fixed itineraries and hotel bookings, an RV allows you to plot your course. 

You can change your plans on a whim, explore off-the-beaten-path destinations, and follow your curiosity. With an RV, the journey becomes part of your adventure, and you're not tied to a strict schedule.

Comfort and Convenience

RVs are home on wheels, with all the necessary comforts and conveniences. They come in various sizes and configurations. Even smaller models of RV also offer sleeping quarters, a functional kitchen, a bathroom, and a comfortable living space. 

Moreover you can cook your meals, enjoy a hot shower, and relax in a cozy environment no matter where your travels take you. It's like having a mobile hotel room with all the desired amenities.

Cost-Effective Travel

Traveling in an RV can be surprisingly cost-effective, especially for families or groups. With an RV, you eliminate the need for hotel stays, which can quickly add up, especially during longer trips. 

Additionally, having a kitchen onboard allows you to prepare your meals, saving you money on dining out. While there is an initial rental cost, you'll likely find that RV travel can be budget-friendly, especially when considering the convenience and savings on accommodation and food expenses.

Family-Friendly Adventures

RV travel is perfect for families seeking unforgettable adventures together. Kids love the excitement of RV trips, and the extra space and amenities onboard make the journey more comfortable. 

If you want, you can also bring bikes, outdoor toys, or board games to keep children entertained during stops. Traveling on an RV also allows you to explore various family-friendly destinations and create lasting memories with your loved ones.

Pet-Friendly Travel

For pet owners, RV travel is a fantastic way to bring your furry friends along for the adventure. Many companies providing services like RV rental in Portland offer pet-friendly options. It provides comfortable and safe space for your pets during the journey. 

Further, you can explore pet-friendly hiking trails, beaches, and parks, ensuring your pets have a memorable adventure.

Environmental Considerations

Modern RVs are designed with environmental considerations in mind. They often come equipped with energy-efficient systems and amenities that allow you to minimize your carbon footprint while on the road. Additionally, having more control over your waste makes it easier to practice responsible camping and reduce environmental impact.

Variety of RV Options

RV rental offers various options to suit your preferences and needs. Whether you're looking for a compact camper van, a spacious motorhome, or a cozy travel trailer, you can find an RV that matches your style of travel. This versatility ensures that you can choose the perfect vehicle for your adventure.

Conclusion

When it comes to embarking on an adventure, RV rental in Portland provides a unique and rewarding experience. It grants you the freedom to explore at your own pace, enjoy the comforts of home on the road, and create lasting memories with loved ones. So, pack your bags, hit the road, and savor the freedom and adventure RV travel offers. Dolo Entertainment offers RVs, trailers, trucks, and tents for people to enjoy their adventurous trips. Rent out your RV with Dolo Vacation Rentals and earn while you relax. Contact us now.

[rviner]

Name: Fenrir 'Fen' Cross

Age & Birthday: 24 years old, August 12th 1998

Gender/Pronouns: cis man he/him

Birthplace: Atlanta, GA

Time in Atlanta: 19 years, back for 2 weeks

Neighborhood: Center Hill

Association: None

Occupation: Employee at Garza Bike Shop

Positive personality traits: Communicative, Optimistic, Hard-Working, Loyal

Negative personality traits: Impulsive, Over-Protective, Stubborn, Fanatical

Faceclaim: Alexander Ludwig

About

On paper, Fenrir's upbringing was dysfunctional at best. Born to two teen parents in Center Hill, nobody would ever expect him to beat the odds. However, Fenrir was a good student and an even better friend. He has always considered Center Hill and it's community his home, doing anything and everything to help his neighbors and family.

Fenrir has an abundance of love and respect for his parents and he knew the apple didn't fall far from the tree as far as his father was concerned. The two are sometimes similar enough for their voice to be mistaken as one another in phone calls, and not to mention their identical laugh. Despite Wolf being a chaotic name to some, Fen is never prouder to call the man his dad.

Fen has always loved the outdoors and nature, called to it like it was in his blood. He stuck around at the trailer park after graduating but quickly realized there was a world he needed to see. At nineteen years old, he said goodbye to his family and off he went. He didn't care about his limited funds because one thing about Fen is he will always find a way. He made fast money in good and honest jobs, from farm work and laboring as he traveled across the states.

While in Portland, he met Lorna Adair and bonded with the beautiful woman when they discovered that they both hailed from Atlanta. It became obvious there was more than a friendship blossoming between them and the two quickly were an established relationship. They continued their travels together and Fenrir couldn't stop writing to home about how lucky he was. He knew early on that wherever Lorna went, that would be exactly where he wanted to be.

They became a family two years ago after the birth of their son, Rowan, and it was as if being parents was their calling in life. Their little set up together was humble but they had everything they needed. Fenrir would do any and every job needed to ensure they didn't go without and they continued their little adventures together but this time with extra snacks or a carrier for their son.

When Lorna shared the news of baby number two, Fenrir was overjoyed. He didn't think for one second about any potential stresses or extra workload, all he could do was think about how amazing it was to grow as a family. The birth of their little girl, Autumn, came in November and Fenrir adored everything about her right down to the red hair on her head just like her mother. The family nested together for months until tragedy hit them like a wave in February. The sudden death of their healthy baby girl struck both Fenrir and Lorna. They powered through for the sake of their son but suddenly, life felt like it was happening around them. Fenrir no longer wanted to immerse himself in life the way he used to. He forced himself to stay strong for Lorna and Rowan, to the best of his ability.

By the spring, Fenrir decided they both needed the support of family and convinced Lorna to move back to Atlanta with him. The release of his father also swayed his decision to come home to Center Hill, knowing that there isn't much Wolf doesn't know about life or love. He hopes the guiding hand of his father and the connection to the rest of his family will help him learn how to bring Lorna back to herself too. Fen isn't going to give up, at least not without a fight.

[craftytravelerearthquake]

The first thing that comes to mind when people hear the term

"caravan" is an image of a convoy of camels and donkeys traveling through tribal territory. Accessory dwelling units in Portland promise "Smart Growth." It is accurate. The Middle East, Arabia, and even parts of North Africa, where numerous nomadic tribes still traverse vast deserts in search of goods and services to trade, saw the first Additions and Accessory Dwelling Units .

In the past, these tribes traveled across the desert in a convoy carrying merchandise for sale. Their barter trade consisted of sorting other nomadic tribes in order to sell their goods. These convoys still traverse vast stretches of land today, but not as frequently as they used to. The old caravans are almost out of date because more and more people now drive.

When we talk about caravans in the United States, we actually mean mobile homes, recreational vehicles, trailers, and motor homes. Families taking a road trip or staying in a temporary shelter typically make use of these homes, which are considered temporary residences. These houses are more prevalent than ever before in today's society. The majority of this occurs in the southern United States. The recent spike in major hurricanes and tornadoes, which have become commonplace, is the reason for this increase in mobile homes. A trail of destroyed homes has been left by the hurricane season, and the emergency management agency FEMA has provided thousands of caravan homes to families.

Details: Company Name: Minnehaha Remodeling Owner Name: Russ Address: 4549 41st Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55406 Google Map URL: https://goo.gl/maps/2FDPbRyiqKK7YKuQ8 Phone Number: (612) 724-5454

[wolfisakionwheels]

Harvey the RV: A Tale of A Shanghaid Motorhome, Part 2

When you’re a semi-nomadic homeschool family who enjoys traveling for extended periods, it’s not exactly budget-friendly to stay in campgrounds upwards of $20 and $40 per night. Especially when your very own home state is made up of 60% Public Lands to help meet all of your wild and free camping needs.

You know what else isn’t exactly budget friendly? Feeding growing boys. It’s only the tip of the iceberg over here but I know what’s coming. I still have solid images of my twin brothers both standing in front of the open refrigerator at a lanky 12 years old chugging straight from their own daily allotted gallons of milk.

But it’s also not always the best circumstances, when boondocking in unknown environments in a cumbersome (albeit super cute) little tent trailer, when it takes an hour at best to break down and hitch up and make a precarious getaway, if something were to suddenly go sideways. 

Once we were camping in the Redwoods just after the season had ended and all of the summer vacation families were back to school and their normal routines. It seemed like we had the whole place to ourselves, and we made ourselves right at home accordingly. 

Then, after a while, we had a gang of local unsavories join us nearby after we’d gone to bed, who spent the duration of the night throwing beer bottles, shooting off fireworks, cussing and fighting, and, as we might explain to our kids, “making poor choices.” 

This was one of those times when it would’ve been dynamite to just tuck into the driver's seat and quietly move onward unscathed. Instead, we were left with no choice but to hunker down together within the flimsy walls of our tent trailer reading Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site on repeat, waiting until first light when we could pack down and hitch up in a new record timing of at least 45 minutes, tip toeing in and around an assortment of dirty denim and wife-beater clad bodies passed out on picnic tables and truck beds and redwood needled floors. 

Boys Night in Humboldt County always sounds like a good ol’ time until you wind up accidentally in the middle of it.

Surprisingly, we’re not always complete dolts and have various, reliable procedures in place as far as self protection, including but not limited to a rescued GSD, who was discovered roadside near a military base along with half a dozen others just like her, and - perhaps not coincidentally - shows obvious signs of some next-level training that we can’t even begin to decode. We live in a constant state of bewilderment that during some point in our lives together one of us will unknowingly utter some covert, secret op word from her life before us that unlocks her inner Cujo. Plus she can smell outer space and is smarter than all of us combined. 

So we came to the conclusion that, even though it might make more financial sense to put 10-grand into things like a new roof for the house, or education funds or emergency reserves and what have you, you also can’t really put a price on your peace of mind. Especially when raising Littles. And that’s when, after months of hemming and hawing, and researching and dreaming, Harvey slipped so perfectly into our lives. 

ETA: I just realized all of this has really nothing to do with Harvey’s untimely disappearance. Stay tuned for Part 3.

6.7.2019

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Scarlett Johansson x Reader : Effort

Summary: Absence makes the heart grow founder.

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,166

* * * * * *

The stadium erupts into thunderous cheers. 

You fist pump, running to the nearest corner of the field. and slide across the grass. Your teammates sprint over, throwing themselves on to you excitedly. 

As you hug them back as much as possible, your eyes find the scoreboard: 3 - 2

Inside the locker room, your teammates continue to celebrate your win. This game was a big one. It’s secured your spot in the championship. 

“Y/n!” They all go crazy when your closest friend, Marissa calls your name,“ with the game winning shot!”

A bashful smile covers your lips and you shake your head. 

Another one of your teammates come over, holding their deodorant as if it were mic,“ Y/n Y/n, tell me, what was going through your head when you pulled that hat trick and won tonight's game?” 

“Bro,” playfully rolling your eyes, you push her away,“ don’t give me all the credit, I definitely stole that move straight from Lindsey.” The woman jokingly brushes her shoulders off. 

The team’s energy after a win is always infectious. It’s like their excitement is electricity, you practically vibrate with joy the second the last shot is made. You shower quickly after the little celebration and nearly dash out of the locker room, calling to your teammates that you’ll see them back in Portland for practice. 

It takes a god awful number of hours to get through the interviews and paparazzi and to and through the airport. You take the two hour flight to sleep, knowing you’ll be up for a while after such an exhausting game. 

You love soccer, it’s your passion and has been since you were a child. Every second you spent playing it lead to you being the number one player in the NWSL. You’d been chosen as a US player in the Olympics and played a large part in getting the bronze medal that year. 

But there were things you disliked about it. The training was intensive, worth it, but hard. Games, won or lost, take a huge toll on you. And the traveling. You can’t begin to count the number of days you spent away from home. 

Admittedly sometimes the distance made things better, but in the end it sucked. 

By the time you land in LA, it’s beyond dark out, midnight approaching quickly. You make it through the airport and hop into one of the many cars idling outside and have them take you to your destination.

Thanking the driver, you tip them, and get out the car. Hands clutching your bag and the bouquet of roses in hand, you approach the gate of the studio lot. 

Even though the security guard recognizes you, he still has to check your ID before letting you in. Being the decent guy he is, he gets a golf caddy for you, and it takes you to the specific building. 

“Y/-”

“Shhhh!”

Of course the first person you see is Evans. You’ve spent a large amount of time with him due to your connection to his closest co-star. 

The man comes up to you excitedly,“ you know I watched the game. You were incredible my friend.” 

With a smile, you accept his hug, patting his back good naturedly.“ Thanks man, ‘ppreciate.” 

As he walks you toward set, you talk about the game and the movie. Both of you passionately answering and exchanging jokes and such.

You see her the second the set comes into view. Long red and blonde hair braided back, Black Widow costume fitting her perfectly, and her face set in that stoic expression that Natasha Romanoff is known for. 

E/c eyes follow her intently. You can’t help but admire how she moves, especially after seeing how hard she works to do so. 

“She’s incredible.” You sigh the words and Evans smiles over at you.

“Funny, she was just saying that earlier when we watched the game.” 

You feel your heart soar at his words and your eyes light up,“ she saw it?” He nods in confirmation.

God you love her. Even while filming she thinks about and supports you. Hours on and off camera and she’s using her free time to watch you play. 

The next couple of hours she films, lost in her world of Marvel, and trying to perfect her character. You move about over time, snacking on the food at craft, chatting with Scarlett’s cast members that you know, and then lounging at the back of set on the couches provided.

At some point you fall asleep and you aren’t sure how long for. But your woken up by a soft touch to your face. It glides over your forehead, then your chin, and then up your nose. 

You jerk awake, flinching from the offense, and glaring at the source. Jeremy and Evans stand at the side of the couch laughing their asses of, a feather in Jeremy’s hand. 

“Fuck you guys.” You huff, scooting to the other end of the couch.

“Hey!” The guys’ eyes widen and they’re sprinting away seconds after looking behind them. Scarlett walks up, stopping just in front of you. She glares after them until they disappear around a corner and then she’s looking at you.

A smile splits across your face at the sight of her and she blushes at your loving gaze. In little to no time, she’s in your lap, hugging you close. 

She kisses you passionately,“ I’ve missed you so much.” She sighs hugging you again.

“I missed you too baby.” You’re kissing her yet again.

“That game winning shot!” She brings up.“ And the trick, grabbing the ball with your feet and jumping over them, where did that come from?” 

Laughing a little you shrug,“ Lindsey.” She nods and you tighten your hold on her.“ More importantly, let’s talk about your tricks Miss Romanoff.” You tease.

Scarlett rolls her eyes at your use of her character’s name. You’ve always been a little teasing about her on screen persona but it’s funny. 

“How about, neither of us talk about work, and we go home.”

You look down at you watch, the time well past midnight,“ you done filming for now?”

Nodding, she stands, and holds her hand out to you. You take it and both of you stand, heading towards the exit. 

“Hey,” you tug her hand a little,“ I really missed you.”

She stops to pull you into a hug, arms circling your shoulders. A deep exhale sends air across your neck and you shiver a bit.“ I missed you too.”

There isn’t a second that you two aren’t touching: at her trailer, on the way home, and in bed. 

Once in each other’s arms, neither of you can understand how you go so long without each other. In the end it’s your joint efforts. Neither of you give less than the other. Love, trust, time, it’s all given and received equally. 

No matter how much time is spent apart, you love each other and you always will. 

[fallen-gravity]

Cheap Thrills and Expensive Snacks

Mabel grins. “Grunkle Ford, do you want to go on a road trip with us? One last adventure before we have to go home?”

Ford’s smile softens with sadness. He’d gotten so caught up in reveling in Bill’s defeat that he’d almost forgotten the kids were heading back to California at the end of the summer.

Ford shakes his head. “I would love to, but…” he frowns. “I’m not sure we have enough time”

The young twins exchange grins, like that’s exactly the response they were waiting for.

“I wouldn’t say that, Grunkle Ford” Dipper grins, looking like he’s struggling to suppress a fit of giggles.

“We have all time in the world” Mabel finishes Dipper’s sentence for him, and in perfect unison the twins pull out a roll of measuring tape from their pockets.

Notes: Here's my belated entry for Week 3 of Forduary: Road Trip!! I absolutely love the road trip trope, and highkey wish Ford could've gotten to see some of Stan's competitors just for the sake of how awful they were compared to the Mystery Shack. C'mon! Give Stan some credit.I also wanted an excuse for Ford to bond more with the kids before they went home, and what better way than through a never-ending roadtrip that somewhat breaks the laws of time and space?

@forduary

AO3

Ever since Ford heard the first bird chirping the morning after Weirdmageddon’s conclusion, he’s felt like a thirty-year old weight has finally been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time in decades, Ford has found himself able to sleep, able to eat, able to do and say anything he pleases without having to speak in hushed tones or cast a cautious glance behind his shoulders.

For the first time since his childhood, he truly feels like himself again, and no longer like a marionette whose strings are always on the brink of snapping under pressure.

It was that first morning after the war, upon waking up before others (out of habit, mostly), that he allowed himself to truly sit and ponder on everything he’s been missing since shutting himself out from the world in his early twenties. He quickly came to the conclusion that the things he missed most were always the things he’d always had just outside of arm’s length; He missed the thrill of discovery, of exploration,  the passion for his life’s work that had faded into thin air the moment that fateful first test run of the portal had failed.

Most of all, he missed companionship.

As much as he hated to admit it to himself, Ford needed other people in his life more than anything else, even more than Ivy League schools and research grants and all the knowledge in the universe.

He told Stan the reason he wanted to take a boat out to the Arctic was to track and contain the remnants of Weirdmageddon that had begun to spread outside of Gravity Falls. But truth be told, he would’ve asked Stan if he still wanted to travel world with him regardless, because Ford found himself wanting nothing more than to chase their childhood dream and never let it go again.

There’s a light knock on his study door as he’s scribbling down navigation notes and he’s half-expecting to see Stan when he turns to the noise. He’s instead met with Dipper and Mabel, standing side by side in his doorway.

“Got a minute?” Dipper asks.

“We have something super important to ask you!” Mabel beams.

Ford places his pen down on his desk, and smiles. “I’m listening”

“Well,” Dipper starts. “We’ve been thinking about how we didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time with you this summer because...” he shrugs. “Well, because we didn’t know you existed until a few weeks ago”

“And that’s totally unfair to you!” Mabel throws her arms up in the air. “It’s not your fault you missed out on all the fun because you were trapped in another dimension”

Dipper nods. “And that got us thinking of all the time we spent with Grunkle Stan, and the road trip he took us on a few weeks ago without you. I don’t know if that was because he asked you and you said no, or if he left without telling you out of spite, or something”

“And that’s when a super genius idea came to us!” Mabel grins. “Grunkle Ford, do you want to go on a road trip with us? One last adventure before we have to go home?”

Ford’s smile softens with sadness. He’d gotten so caught up in reveling in Bill’s defeat that he’d almost forgotten the kids were heading back to California at the end of the summer.

But…a glance to the calendar hanging by the doorway tells him it’s August 29th, and the twins are set to leave after their birthday party ends on the 31st.

Ford shakes his head. “I would love to, but…” he frowns. “I’m not sure we have enough time”

The young twins exchange grins, like that’s exactly the response they were waiting for.

“I wouldn’t say that, Grunkle Ford” Dipper grins, looking like he’s struggling to suppress a fit of giggles.

“We have all time in the world” Mabel finishes Dipper’s sentence for him, and in perfect unison the twins pull out a roll of measuring tape from their pockets. Before Ford has even a moment to wonder what they could mean, they each pull on their tape, high five each other, and disappear into thin air.

Ford stumbles to his feet, nearly knocking his chair to the ground. Between one blink and the next the kids reappear, both of them wearing period piece costumes. The measuring tapes in their hand crackle with blue lightning.

Ford gasps. “Time tapes! Of course!” He approaches the twins in the doorway. “How did you two get ahold of these?”

“Let’s just say we have an inside to these sorts of things” Mabel replies, kicking her costume off and placing her time tape back into her sweater pocket.

“So what do you say?” Dipper steps forward. “Do you want to come with us on a road trip? We can literally go whenever we want”

“You mean when--” Mabel pauses, backtracking. “Oh, wait, you did say that”

“So what do you say, Grunkle Ford? One more adventure for the road?”

Ford’s chest fills with warmth. He’d love to; he really would, but…

“What about Stan?”

“Y’gotta give me some credit, poindexter” Stan’s voice rings from behind the corner. If Ford had to guess, it’s probably because he was waiting for his response. “Someone’s gotta tag along to babysit you three”

Ford wants to glare at his brother at the insult, but his excitement overtakes it and a grin spreads to his face instead.

“Let’s go,” he says, with all the wonder in his tone that he’d been missing for years.

Dipper and Mabel exchange nods, and take each other’s hands. With their free hands, they stretch their measuring tapes out the same length.  Stan grabs on to Mabel’s shoulder, and after he and Dipper share a silent, knowing glance, Ford places his hand on Dipper’s shoulder.

Dipper and Mabel release their tape in unison, and a large flash of white light overwhelms Ford’s vision. When it finally fades, the four of them are still standing exactly where they’d been a moment ago, the only indication that anything changed being the sparks of blue lightning crackling from their clothes.

Dipper’s the first to step away from the huddle. “See?” He gestures at Ford’s wall calendar, which now displays June instead of August. “It’s practically the beginning of the summer all over again!”

Mabel breaks away to stand beside Dipper. “Now we can go anywhere we want! We could go to Portland, or Vegas, or the lost city of Atlantis, or anywhere in the world, because this bad boy prevents us from missing our bus ride home for as long as we want!”

Stan chuckles, shaking his head. “Not so fast, Mabel. I love the enthusiasm, but I’m not sure my old RV can handle driving into the ocean. Not unless Brainiac over here is willing to do some modifications on it” Stan throws an arm around Ford’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly. “Besides, I’ve already got a plan!” Stan’s gaze shifts to Ford, and the grin on his face could split it in two. “If you think my attractions look fake, just wait ‘til you see how bad my competitors look compared to me!”

“I dunno,” Dipper frowns, scratching at his chin. “Don’t you think going back to the place where you were almost eaten by a giant spider lady is a bad idea?”

“Hey, time travel rules mean that I never met her in the first place, right?” Stan crosses his arms. “Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna fall for her tricks all over again just because she offers me discounted tickets, or something”

Dipper and Mabel exchange worried glances.

“Mmm, okay,” Dipper says. “But we’re keeping an eye on you”

“That’s the spirit!” Stan exclaims, and slaps Ford on the back as he backs out of the room. “I’m gonna go pack. I doubt you have anything to pack, Sixer, but we’re reconvening in the gift shop in an hour. Go…take a shower or something. I don’t wanna spend next twelve hours driving with someone smelling like that.”

Ford glares at him, but before he has time to respond Stan’s already gone. The kids must’ve slipped out close on Stan’s heels, because when Ford turns he’s alone in his room. Rolling his eyes, he walks to his couch and kneels on the ground, reaching underneath for his emergency exploration pack. It’s a backpack torn and worn from age, and comes already packed with water bottles, nutrient bars, sunscreen, and just about every brand of monster repellent known to mankind.

A nostalgic sort of smile threatens to tug at his lips. He hasn’t seen this bag since his early research days with Fiddleford. He slings it over his shoulders, and pats at his trench coat pocket to make sure his journal is still safely tucked inside. He doesn’t necessarily plan on making any more additions, but he supposes that old habits die hard.

~~

It’s a very bulky RV, much bigger than Ford was expecting. He’d assumed that Stan calling it an RV was just an exaggeration, and that the four of them would just be piling into the Stanleymobile as they tugged some tiny trailer along that they would only would only step foot in for sleeping. But as Ford approaches, he can see Dipper and Mabel chatting at a small table through the window, and Stan rummaging through a cupboard above them, and it looks as though there’s still plenty of room to walk between them.

Mabel taps on Dipper’s shoulder, points in Ford’s direction, and both of them wave frantically out the window at him.

“Took you long enough,” Stan suddenly appears in the doorway of the camper. “Now get in. The last thing we need is to run into the past versions of those two and get bombarded with questions” He gestures with his thumb towards Dipper. “Especially him.  He sees that journal sticking out of your pocket and we’re done for”

Ford chuckles. “I can only imagine,” he says, and climbs aboard behind Stan. He’s about to take the passenger side seat besides Stan when the kids frantically wave him over.

“Grunkle Ford, over here!” Mabel beams, and hops down from her seat across from Dipper. “Come sit with us!”

“This is a road trip about spending more time with you, after all” Dipper nods. “What good will it do for us if you’re sitting way up front with Stan?”

“Yeah! No good interrogation ever happens from across the room!” Mabel exclaims.

Ford raises an eyebrow, but smiles at the pair as he takes a seat across from them. “Interrogation?”

“Yep!” Dipper grins. “We already know all of the heroic scientist stuff about you…”

“But we want to know the fun Grunkle stuff about you!” Mabel finishes his sentence for him. “You favorite ice cream flavor, your first kiss, the most illegal thing you’ve ever gotten away with…you know, just the basics!”

Ford blushes. “Well, I don’t know about that…”

“Aww, I’m sure it’s not that bad! Dipper’s first kiss was with a merman he had to give reverse CPR to!”

“Mabel!”  Dipper squeaks, his whole a dark shade of red. “That’s not fair! You know I didn’t have a choice!”

Ford can’t help the fond smile that spreads to his face. It’s moments like these that he’s going to miss the most. Sure, he’ll have anomalies, and treasure, and the whole world to explore, but he just knows that none of that is ever going to compare to time alone with the kids.

Once Stan gets the RV up and running, Ford knows there’s no going back. He and the kids swap childhood stories for hours, only pausing when Stan pulls off the side of the road to fuel up on gas and snacks. Dipper tells him of the time him and Mabel shaved their heads after a bully stuck gum in Mabel’s hair on photo day, and Ford tells them of the time that he and Stan swapped clothes on photo day just to see if they could get away with it. (They could, and Ford still has the yearbook where their photos are mislabeled as each other hidden away in his study to this day).

It’s eye opening, honestly. The young twins really are a mirror image to himself and Stan when they were kids.

“We’re here!” Stan grins, screeching the RV to a sudden halt. Upon looking out the window, the only thing Ford can see is a gift shop about the size of an outhouse and a ball of yarn about three sizes bigger than the RV.  Stan stands from the driver’s seat, stretching. “You think I overcharge for my tours, Sixer? This woman charges double the price of my admission just to take a picture of this fuzz ball” He reaches underneath the driver’s seat, pulling out a large hook attached to a thick rope. “We’re only doing her a favor by stealing it! Starting from scratch with a new attraction could do her some good”

“Hmm, I dunno” Dipper shrugs. “Don’t you think that doing the exact same prank on all of your competitors in the exact same order is just gonna result in them, I dunno, pranking you again in the exact same way?”

“Nonsense!” Stan brings his hand to his chest like Dipper had offended him. “The only reason they got away with it last time is because we left poindexter here home alone in the basement. There’ll be dozens of tour groups coming through the shack today with my past self taking care of the place for me.”  He taps at his forehead. “Besides, wasn’t this whole road trip your idea in the first place?” He smirks. “Are you telling me that your own idea is dumb?”

Dipper opens his mouth to argue back, realizes he has nothing, and pouts grumpily as he hops out of the RV. Stan cackles, and hops out of the RV after him. Ford rolls his eyes, and hops out after them to take a look at his surroundings. Stan really wasn’t kidding; everything really is contained to the one parking lot with nothing to show for it but the giant ball of yarn and a converted outhouse with tie-dye tee shirts hanging from its roof.

“Don’t just stand there gawking at it!” Stan slaps him on the shoulder, grinning. “Either help the kids out or talk the old woman’s ear off long enough to distract her” he gestures with a thumb towards Dipper and Mabel, giggling and poking at each other as they tie the rope end of the hook to the RV. As Mabel walks to attach the hook to the large yarn ball, she notices Ford watching her and waves hello.

“Hey Grunkle Ford!” she shouts. “If there’s enough left over from this mound after we drag it home, I’ll knit you a sweater with it!”

Ford laughs as he approaches to help her. “I’m counting on it.”

As it turns out, she wasn’t joking. As soon as they’ve all piled back into the RV to head to the next tourist trapped, Mabel already has her sewing needles in hand and a tangled ball of multicolored yarn sitting on the table in front of her. It’s amazing watching her work, clicking the needles together so quickly yet delicately, not missing a single fold. Ford’s never seen someone pour so much love into something so particular since the early days of his research.

Ford doesn’t want to interrupt her focus, so he turns to Dipper instead.

“How long has she been able to do that?”

Dipper glances at his sister beside him. “Oh, you mean sewing? Our grandma from our mom’s side of the family taught her when she was about six.” He rolls his eyes. “Our parents tried to buy her an electronic sewing machine for our eighth birthday, but she flat out rejected it because she insisted there wouldn’t be enough love in her creations if she didn’t make them by hand”

“It’s true!” Mabel exclaims, not looking up from her sewing job. “I’m not gonna sit around and let some machine do all the work for me! How are my friends and family supposed to know I made them their sweaters with love if I didn’t sew my blood and sweat into the threads myself?”

Ford hopes she’s being metaphorical, but the sentiment is still there. “So you’re telling me that every sweater you’ve worn this summer is homemade?”

“Yep!” she beams. “All the way down to the embroidery.” She holds up the skeleton of the sweater she’s working on into the light. “You’re real lucky, Grunkle Ford. This’ll be my first sweater I’ve ever made out of stolen materials!”

Her use of the term first rather than only makes Ford laugh.  The more time he spends with them, the less he wants to say goodbye to them. Stan must be the bravest man alive, being willing to send these kids home after three months with them, because if it were up to him he’d already be signing adoption papers to make them legally his.

“Stop two!” Stan yells from the front of the RV, and hops out as soon as they’re parked. Mabel places her work gently on the table, and follows Stan out without any effort. Dipper, on the other hand, takes one look out the window at where they’ve stopped and pales.

“Oh no”

Ford follows his gaze. It’s just a single story home turned on its head, absolutely nothing about it giving Ford the impression that there’s anything scary about it.

“What’s wrong?” Ford asks. “Do you get motion sickness? I learned quite a few tricks on how to deal with just the thing in the Spinning Top Dimension! You’re going to need a few things first, but I’m sure we’ll be able to find them around here somewhere-”

“N-no, it’s not that” Dipper cuts him off, face turning a dark shade of red. “The last time we were here I tried asking Grunkle Stan if he had any advice on how to talk to girls. And there was this one really cute girl, and we hit it off, but…” he rubs at his arm. “I acted like a total jerk. I treated her like she was just a number and I feel awful about it”

Ford frowns, getting down on one knee. “You’re not worried you’re going to run into her again, are you? This time loop should be stable enough to prevent her from showing up early”

Dipper’s gaze falls to the floor. “No, it’s more like…I’m so afraid of being myself that I feel like the only way I can fit in is to act like something I’m not. I just wish I could figure out a way to talk to girls without forcing myself to act like I’m better than them or something”

Ford smiles. “Dipper, I may not have any sound advice when it comes to girls,  but I’ve only known you for a number of weeks, and I think anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re kind and caring and so brilliant for your age” Dipper opens his mouth to protest, but Ford shakes his head. “Some of the most brilliant minds in the world suffered from anxiety and depression, my boy, and look where they are now. I have the upmost confidence that the same thing is bound to happen to you”.

Dipper’s eyes are big and wide, like he’s about to cry, but the waterworks never come. Dipper throws his arms around Ford’s neck in a hug, and Ford hugs him back. Once they pull away, they hop out of the van to join Stan and Mabel outside to prevent Stan from coming back in to yell at them. This stop is a bit less complicated, just a simple walkthrough to make sure there isn’t a hoard of tourists inside before running back out to tip the whole house right side up. It’s a lot of laughing from Stan and sprinting back to the van, and once they’re out of the parking lot and back on the highway it’s as if they never stopped at all. Mabel gets right back to working on her sweater, and Dipper gets right back to chatting up Ford for life stories.

A good portion of their stops go equally as smooth. The kids convince Ford to go on the log flume at Log Land with them which he absolutely does not throw up on, thank you very much, and Mabel nearly gets lost in a corn maze, but otherwise there’s nothing much of interest. Ford’s starting to suspect that Stan must be right, that the Mystery Shack really is the most interesting tourist trap in the entire state, until a giant mountain looms over the horizon.

“There she is,” Stan says, as if he could read his brother’s thoughts. “Her first year of opening I lost over half my usual revenue and I’ve sworn revenge on her ever since” He balls his hand into a fist and smacks the top of the steering wheel. “Our biggest mistake last time was getting too attached. I say this time we run in, grab as many mummies as we can get our hands on, and book it back to the shack before Darlene notices.”

“Don’t you mean that was your biggest mistake?” Dipper quips. “Besides, didn’t we find out last time that those mummies are real dead bodies?” He shivers. “I’m not sure how comfortable I’d feel about stealing them”

From the rearview mirror, Stan raises an eyebrow at Dipper. “What, you afraid their souls are gonna follow us home and haunt us? Work on your moral compass later, kid, this is about revenge” He adjusts the mirror. “Besides! What’s the chance we rescue someone who isn’t dead yet, just slowly suffocating in that nasty tasting web?”

Dipper opens his mouth to say one thing, pauses, and starts again. “Grunkle Stan, are you telling me you tried to eat the web you were trapped in?”

Stan shrugs. “Hey, I’m no stranger to chewing my way out of things. I’m just lucky I didn’t break any teeth on it, like I did with that car trunk”

As if that doesn’t raise more questions than it does answers, Stan drops the conversation entirely and doesn’t say another word until the RV pulls into the parking lot. Ford can’t even see the mountain peak when he hops out, it’s so obscured by fog that he knows wasn’t there ten minutes ago. Fog is the number one trap produced by anomalies to hunt their pray, so it’s no wonder this place gives Stan the creeps. Ford can’t even begin to imagine the size of the spider monsters the others described to him.

A shriek nearly escapes him at the feeling of something spindly crawling up his arm, but when he whips around he sees it’s just Stan running his fingers along his shoulder in a quick, scattered pattern. When he catches Ford’s eyes, he laughs so hard that tears pour down his cheeks.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face!” Stan wheezes. “You were all oh no, mister spider half the size of my hand, don’t eat me!” he cackles, wiping at his eyes with his wrist. “C’mon, time is money, and we don’t have any to waste” he gestures to the kids, already waiting at the information booth. “If we don’t hurry the kids are gonna get on the sky tram without us”

Ford raises an eyebrow. “You? On a sky tram?”

“Dipper didn’t tell you?” Stan’s raised eyebrow matches Ford’s. “Mabel helped me conquer my fear of heights! Now I’m untouchable!”

Seventeen years of the boardwalk and all the cotton candy as bribe in the world couldn’t fix Stan’s fear of heights. Dipper and Mabel really do continue to amaze him the more Stan tells him about them.

“Right,” Ford shakes his head, smiling fondly. “Of course.”

~~

It’s really no wonder this place boasts having the world’s slowest sky tram, because if it weren’t for the moving tree line Ford would almost think they weren’t moving at all. The bored expression on everyone else’s faces, a massive shift from the mischievous grins they’d been wearing before they got on has Ford choking down laughter. It’s about five minutes before there’s any sight of anything but tree bark, and the sun beaming directly into the glass car makes the whole thing feel like a sauna.

Still, it’s a dramatic shift in pace, and not one that Ford rejects. It’s really forcing him to slow down and think about his own feelings for once, a privilege he hasn’t had since he was in high school. Maybe it’s a little selfish of him to cherish the times he just gets to lose himself in his own head, rather than to spend so much of his time calculating plans to rescue others from danger, but-

“Whaddya think, poindexter?” Stan’s voice suddenly breaks through Ford’s thoughts, startling him.

Ford blushes. “What do I think of what?”

“The new plan!” Stan gestures to Dipper with his thumb. “Since this buzzkill is so against stealing ‘real dead bodies’,” he emphasizes with air quotes, “and since we probably couldn’t shove them all in this car anyway, we’re gonna go ahead with Plan B instead; Burning down Widow’s Peak!” Stan throws his hands in the air dramatically.

Dipper beams. “That way, they can’t make any more mummies for their mummy museum, and we might be able to save a few people from suffocating to death!” Stan and Dipper high five.

“It’s a brilliant plan, but…” Ford taps at his chin. “Where do you suppose we’re going to find the fire to burn it down?”

Stan cocks an eyebrow at him. “You tell me, mister ‘setting my face on fire is faster than shaving’. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a lighter in your pocket right now. They have a bunch of prop torches in the caves, but if we pop the lightbulbs out of them and light them they should work good as usual” Stan’s mischievous grin is back on his face, a perfect reflection of when he was thirteen and pickpocketing a dollar from people’s wallets on the boardwalk to buy a box of saltwater taffy.

Turns out, it’s just as contagious now as it was back then. Ford reaches into the front pocket of his trench coat, and sure enough, comes up with a lighter. Stan erupts in laughter at the sight of it, and soon enough the entire car is infected with it. The rest of the ride up the mountain is much bubblier after that, with everyone swapping overdramatic stories of how the plan is going to go.

~~

Widow’s Peak is much bigger than Ford was expecting. It’s a whole cave that looks like it stretches for miles, and there really are rotting skeletons hanging upside down from the cave walls and ceilings.

Ford shudders.

“Aww, c’mon, Sixer! I know for a fact this isn’t half as bad as the stuff in your journals” Stan jabs at his shoulder with his unlit torch. “Besides, didn’t you say in your own journal that most ghosts come from their old bodies not having a proper burial? He gestures at a skeleton hanging upside down from the ceiling, its left hand barely hanging on by a thread. “You think any of these guys look like their spirits were able to move on peacefully, or however it goes?” Stan shakes his head matter of-factly. “You really want some poor unsuspecting tourist to bump into a hoard of angry ghosts? Tsk tsk”

“Alright, alright” Ford raises his hands in self-defense. “I suppose you’re right”. He takes his lighter out of his pocket and tosses it to Stan. Stan lights up his own torch, helps Dipper and Mabel with theirs, and then he turns back to help light Ford’s.

“Alright,” Stan rubs his hands together the best he can with a lit torch tucked under his arms. “Everyone knows the plan. Burn as many mummies as you can find, rescue the poor suckers who are still alive, and signal if you hear Darlene coming. Since I don’t trust Sixer over here not to try and interview her and get himself in trouble again, I say I’m in charge of lookout duty.” He adjusts his collar and flattens down the wrinkles of his suits with a quick pat down. “I flirt with her just long enough to distract her, I throw my torch in her face, and then we book it out of here as fast as our legs can carry us”

Dipper still doesn’t look convinced. “I don’t know, isn’t that exactly how you got yourself tangled up in a web last time?”

“Oh please,” Stan scoffs, waving a dismissive hand. “The only reason that worked last time is ‘cause she cornered me when we were alone. Besides, where’s she gonna take me if she catches me that you can’t just throw a torch and rescue me five minutes after it happens?”

Dipper’s face darkens. “True,” he mumbles under his breath, which makes Stan laugh. Stan slaps him on the shoulder, and Dipper glares at him, but there doesn’t seem to be any malice in it.

It’s one final glance between the four of them, and they’re all running off in different directions of the cave. It’s not long before the stench of burning silk fills the air, mixed with the stench of something Ford doesn’t want to think too much about. The webs burn relatively quickly, and together they burn through half of the cave in a much faster time than Ford would’ve expected. He’s about to light up one that looks like it was left here fairly recently, until something inside it starts wiggling.  Startled, Ford steps backwards until his back hits the cave wall, a soft oof escaping him.

“S’matter, poindexter?” Stan looks up from the fire he’s stomping out with his foot. “You see a widdle baby spider that freaked you out?”

Ford tries to glare at him, but the fear stabbing him in the chest doesn’t let it stick. He swallows hard, and points towards the wiggling cocoon with his torch.

“I think we have a live one” he whispers, stepping to stand beside Stan. Once Stan follows Ford’s torch with his eyes, something inside him tenses up.

“Ah, wh-what’d I tell you?” Stan’s voice shakes. “It’s probably just some poor sucker who fell for Darlene’s charms. Definitely not a gross sack of baby spider people or anything”

“R-right,” Ford swallows hard, and inches back towards the cocoon, rapidly waving his torch back and forth to potentially scare off whatever could be inside trying to break out.  But the longer he waves the torch in front of the web, the more he can make out the silhouette of a regular human being.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Ford rushes forward and begins tearing at the web with his bare hands, just enough so that the man is free from the chest up. He takes large gasps of air, and upon realizing that his hands are free he begins tearing at the web himself.  Once his feet are free and hit the ground, he takes one look at the Pines family, mumbles a startled thank you, and runs for his life out of the cave.

After that, the rest of the burnings go pretty smoothly. There’s significantly less living tourists in the cave than Ford would’ve expected from such a large tourist trap, and Ford’s not entirely sure whether he should find that reassuring or downright terrifying.  He’s almost surprised everything went so well, until the four of them nearly collide with a woman on their way out of the cave.

She looks just as baffled to see them as Ford feels to see her.

“Can I…help you?” She asks in a thick Jersey-esque accent. The name tag pinned to her shirt reads DARLENE in large brick letters.

“No!” Dipper cuts in before neither Ford nor Stan can respond to her. He clears his throat. “I mean, uh, no. Uh, apologies if this is a restricted area, but we got lost trying to find our way back to the sky tram” he shrugs overdramatically, no doubt in attempt to show Darlene that his hands are empty. She squints at him, and for a moment Ford could swear he just saw her blink horizontally. The silence that follows, though it probably doesn’t last for more than a few seconds, feels like it drags on for ages.

Suddenly, she’s donning an overly sweet smile. “Well, why didn’t you just say so? Let me walk you back. We’ve gotten more than our fair share of tourists who’ve gone missing from wandering too far into our caves, and I’d hate to have that happen to such a nice looking family like yours” She grins, flashing her unusually sharp teeth.  The four of them stay quiet until they’re all packed into their tram car, and Darlene is waving sweetly at them from behind.

They each collectively sigh. “Woof, that was a close one” Stan says, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his wrist. In a sudden shift of mood, he reaches over next to him and pulls Dipper into a headlock. “How’s about it for this guy’s quick thinking, huh?” he grins, and the four of them laugh until they hear a horrifying screech that makes their tram car rumble. They turn, and see Darlene emerging from the cave, the bottom half of her body replaced by that of a giant spider.

“My food!” she screams, shaking her first at the tram cars. “You burned all my food! Mark my words, I may not have gotten your names but I don’t forget faces very easily, you hear? If you ever show your face here again you’re dead meat!” She screams, yanking on her hair to reveal the rest of her spider-like body under her human disguise.

Stan simply cackles. “Yeah, we’ll see about that!” he mocks, knowing well enough that she can’t hear them from inside the car. He turns his attention back to the rest of the family. “Maybe we should go and warn our past selves to bring bug spray!” He exclaims, laughing himself to near tears.

Ford only rolls his eyes, but can’t help the smile on his face.

If only he’d known what he’d be missing when he turned down Stan’s offer to take this road trip with him and the kids the first time around.

The tram ride back to the parking lot is even more relaxing than the ride up. The sun is setting this time around, and even if the wind can’t really reach inside the car the whole thing just feels cooler. Most of all, he finds that the sound of the Stan and the kids’ laughter is far more welcome than any old conversation he could have in his own head.

When everyone piles back into the RV, they do not drive away immediately like they had at all the other stops. Instead, Stan turns around to face the three of them. “Well, that’s the end of that. That’s all I had planned, and we still have…” he pauses to count on his finger. “Two more months ‘til the kids have to go back home, technically. I’m all out of ideas, and I’m sure the kids have seen enough of the Gravity Falls weirdness for one summer”

He smiles to the kids, who nod and in turn smile at Ford.

“So where do you want to go now, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel says, with stars shining in her eyes. The grin spreading on Dipper’s face matches hers like two peas in a pod.

“Any place in the world. Wherever you want to go…” He pulls the time tape out of his pocket. “…For however long you want”