rviner

[rviner]

Astra laughs as the image of Franz the cat starts to piece itself together in her mind. The way Felix describes him, all gruff and judgmental, strikes her as oddly perfect. There's something magnetic about how Felix speaks. Serious, sometimes brooding, always carrying that little hint of pessimism. It's the complete opposite of how her mind works, but maybe that's why it captivates her. Felix doesn't do anything by halves. He's all or nothing. They both are in different ways, two opposing sides that somehow meet perfectly in the middle. A perfect blend of intensity, she thinks.

"He sounds like he was made for you." Astra says, her tone teasing but warm. Her head tilts, curiosity lighting up her face. "Would he have liked me? Because I think I would have liked him. You had me at big cat. Maine Coon?" she guesses, her grin softening as she watches Felix's hands mimic the cat's mane.

As Felix shifts into talking about Kafka, Astra's nose wrinkles, not in disdain but in playful judgment. She sees the appeal. It's Felix, of course, she sees it. "I wish I could hug him." she muses, her voice lilting with thoughtfulness. "He sounds sad, from what you're saying." without hesitation, she drapes an arm over his shoulder and leans in, her head resting lightly against his. "Maybe if I hug you, it'll reach Kafka. You seem the same soul." she teases, her laugh bubbling up before she can stop it.

She lights up at his mention of Gibran, though, shaking her head firmly when Felix jokes about sitting out. "Oh no, you're staying right here." she insists, her grin wide and certain. "Kafka can come too, even if you both frown the whole time while Gibran and I sit by rivers of time, just to watch them float by." she chuckles, glancing at the book. There's something about the moment that feels impossibly precious, like it's more than just words on a page.

"It does feel nice." Astra admits, her voice softer now as her fingers brush against the page. "Like a friend from a long time ago." she glances at him, catching the flicker of Felix's grin. It's suddenly too easy to imagine a younger Felix. Already an intense heart...but then full of teenage angst? Astra can't help but laugh. "Do you think we would've been friends?" it might be a question that shouldn't be asked. Too close to making them dig into past lives. But, it feels right. Astra suddenly feels no discomfort as her mind travels through certain memories. Only certain ones. "I was very...um..." she squints, searching for the word. "Naughty." she decides, her tone too light to carry the full meaning of the word as she laughs. "But, I was naughty when I was even younger. Always, really. I was...um...six when I climbed a tree and hid up there. I watched my mother panic, neighbors help look for me. I didn't come down until she went inside, then I strolled in like nothing happened."

That's one side of the memory she doesn't mind revisiting. The other side is not as mischievous. The reason why she felt the need to hide in the tree, the reason why she didn't feel any form of safety as her mother called for her. But, those are secrets and for now, they will remain as such.

Felix's explanation of Kafka's quote pulls her focus back, and Astra's brow furrows almost immediately. "Well, you don't have to play." she says, instinctively countering him. "No one has to do anything." but before she can dig deeper, he's explaining why the quote made him think of her, and her laugh bursts out at how he captures her thoughts before she even finished forming them. Her laugh is loud enough to ripple through the quiet of the bookstore, causing a brief break in the murmur of voices. Which only sends Astra into a silent cackle, her hand clamping over her mouth. She waves at Felix, hushing him like he's the one causing the commotion. "Ssssh. Poetry." she scolds, her eyes glinting with mischief.

When Felix draws her closer, the laughter lingers for a moment, soft and breathy, before it fades entirely. His quiet admission about Kafka stops her, her eyes widening slightly before a faint chuckle escapes. "Oh." she breathes, then shakes her head. "Well, I don't think I would talk to him for very long." she pauses, looking at Felix thoughtfully. "What about Gibran?" the question is out before she can stop herself, and her hand flies up almost immediately, cutting him off before he can answer. "No, wait. Don't ruin him for me. I take it back. I want to pretend he was perfect."

Felix hadn't thought about Franz the cat in years. Remembering the big animal now almost made him spiral into a million thoughts. But Astra sounded so genuinely delighted to learn about the damn cat that he couldn't help but laugh. "Franz was an asshole." Felix said, grinning as the picture of the cat sharpened in his mind. "Big, not just fat, big. Jet black fur, except for this messy, smoky gray mane around his neck." he motioned around his collar, hands shaping an imaginary scarf. "Like a lion in exile, I called him. He had this way of looking at people like they personally offended him just by existing. Constantly unimpressed. And the fur, Jesus, the fur. Got everywhere. It was like he enjoyed watching me suffer for it." his laugh came easy now, the nostalgia settling more comfortably.

Felix tilted his head, amused at how Astra seemed to soak up even the grumpiest details. There was no way Kafka's work would speak to her, not on the level Gibran did and yet here she was. Wanting to know it all, simply because Felix had a kindred spirit with the miserable asshole. "Kafka was perpetually disappointed with the world, judging it pretty harshly. But that was kind of the point." Felix let the thought hang for a second, watching her eyes light up in a way that made him almost reconsider Kafka altogether. Almost.

A quick laugh escaped him as she talked as if her and Gibran were old friends and Felix instantly nodded. "Oh? Like that, huh?" he crossed his fingers over one another. "Well, that's me out of the picture. I'll just be sulking with Kafka." a small grin emerged over his lips and Felix's gaze moved between hers as he took a brief moment to study her. Closely, full of affection. "Feels good, right? I know validation has never been your thing but..." he absently reached to the book, straightening a dog-eared corner with a flick "It's nice to see it written down. To know someone else felt the same way, even a hundred years ago." his tone dipped into something lighter but then his grin turned sly. "That's how I felt with Kafka. Except I was pissed. Teenage me thought I was a profound, tortured genius and then I picked up The Trial and realized it was already done. In better words, too. So, thanks for that, Kafka."

Her scolding pulled him back into a deeper amusement, her tone light but insistent, and Felix couldn't help the playful flinch when she swatted at him with the book. "Don't encourage me, then." he shot back, smirking as he pointed to her grin. They started down the aisle together and Felix felt it, even in that small moment. The way they moved in sync, how they balanced each other. He hunted for something and pragmatic while she floated around, finding beauty in odd corners of the shop.

When she mentioned the poetry night, he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Great. Can't wait to hear how doomscrolling is a metaphor for obsession or how liking a post is practically devotion." he droned the words out purposefully, hands on his hips as he still searched for any sign of his miserable friend Franz. But then Astra caught his attention, the way she mulled over Kafka's words and he couldn't help his grin. "Yeah, that's it. Like cards, right? That's where he was going with it. Doesn't matter what hand you're dealt, you still gotta play." Felix paused and an affectionate look was shot to Astra as she asked why the words made him think of her at all.

Truthfully, most things made him think of her. But, Felix offered a gentle shrug. "Because you'd rip those cards up to make confetti and invent a new game. Somehow, it'd make sense. And it would be way more fun." his tone was entirely sincere, his smile widening as he took her in. "I think you'd give Kafka a heart attack." Felix muttered, reaching a hand out to take hold of Astra's arm, gently moving her closer to him. The sincerity then broke as he chuckled, giving her a little unserious frown. "And...he was a little misogynistic and racist but...Hey, Prague. 1900s. What can ya do? Plus, credit where credit is due, he'd dislike you more because you danced in a storm."

[rviner]

Astra watches Felix speak like every word he says might take root inside her, something alive she can tend to later. His voice softens when he talks about Kafka and that's more than enough to capture her own interest. Especially as Felix reveals about a cat he once owned. "Aw, was he a miserable, sad, and hopeless cat?" Astra teases, a laugh rising from her chest like it can't be helped. There's a light in her eyes as she speaks, delighted to know this small piece of him. She doesn't ask more questions. It isn't about peeling him open. Felix doesn't do that to her, and she respects the boundary without thinking twice. "Well, now I definitely want to hear more about Kafka if you like him so much." she says with a firm little nod.

The bookstore doesn't feel like a bookstore, not to Astra. The tight aisles and uneven shelves curve around her like she's stepping inside something deeper. Something alive. She swears she can feel Felix in the space, like these walls are his ribs and the books his breath. It's small, cramped even, but it wraps around her like it's been waiting.

Gibran's words on the page pull at something inside her, soft and raw, but it isn't just the words. It's Felix knowing she would love them, that they would land where they were supposed to. "I never said I couldn't read!" Astra laughs, leaning into the kiss he presses to her cheek. "Just that it takes me a little longer." her grin widens, her voice teasing now. "But you know what me and Gibran say about time already." like they're old friends, and the joke will be hers forever now.

Felix's kisses draw her in, one gentle press at a time, until she almost forgets the rest of the night exists. Her lips meet his, slow and soft, but the slightly wonky bell above the door chimes, and her attention catches on the sound. The presence of others doesn't bother her. In fact, she likes it. She likes how the space isn't empty, even as she and Felix stay tucked in their own little corner. The contrast sharpens what they have. A private moment, untouched but still part of something bigger.

Felix's joke pulls her back, and she swats at him with the book in her hand. "I don't think jokes like that are funny." Astra says, though her snicker betrays her as she's warmed by his theatrics. That dark, dramatic flare he has always pulling her in, closer and closer. When he gets to his feet, she follows instinctively like the aisle of books belongs to them now.

Her curiosity moves her toward the end of it, and she peeks around the corner, her eyes catching on the chairs being arranged in a loose circle. Her grin is immediate, soft but genuine. "I think it might be a poetry night." she says, her voice lilting with the discovery but Astra doesn't linger on the thought. Felix's voice draws her back, pulling her in like a tide as he recites the quote. Astra tilts her head, her lips pressing into a thoughtful frown. She doesn't answer him right away.

Instead, her feet carry her up and down the aisle in a slow steps. Her voice dips into a whisper, repeating the words under her breath like she's tasting them, testing their shape. "So…" her hand hovers in front of her, fingers curling and uncurling like she's plucking the meaning from the air. "So… it means… it doesn't matter if you're caught in a storm, if you think the storm is fair or unfair, or even real… you still need an umbrella?" her eyes flick to Felix then, a spark of realization and amusement just starting to bloom, as if she's unsure whether she's found the meaning or invented one entirely. Astra laughs at her attempt of understanding. "Is that...is that what he means? Well, that's not very miserable. Practical, maybe. How does that make you think of me? Because...why not just dance in the storm? It's there and happening already."

Felix couldn't stop watching her. Astra's playfulness always managed to throw him off in the best way. Light, teasing, but so fucking earnest it left him wondering how someone like her existed in the same world he did. The way she grinned at him now, cradling the book like it was something rare and priceless, made him feel like a fraud for ever thinking this was just a dusty old bookstore. Because it was. The shelves were a mess, the air was stale and the lighting made everything look a little yellowed and tired. But Astra, she was treating it like he handed her the rarest treasure, like every word in those pages was a secret he had been keeping and he finally decided to share.

Her eyes were sparkling as she teased him with another innocent question, something about Kafka. He couldn't help it, he laughed, short and sharp, nodding. "Yeah, I really like Kafka. I had a cat called Franz." he leaned back slightly, his fingers grazing the edges of the shelf behind him. "Kafka was brutally clever. Miserable, sad, hopeless. Can't help but respect that." Felix didn't say that he used to talk about this the time. Kafka, Gibran, all the rest of them. Back when he thought it mattered. Back when he had the luxury of conversations about ideas and philosophies, not survival.

Gibran, especially, had never been his favorite. Too idealistic, too soft. But seeing how Astra lit up at every word, the way she held onto them like they were hers...it was starting to change his mind. Maybe it wasn't about what the words meant to him. Maybe it was about what they meant to her. And, fuck, if her wonder didn't make him want to believe in them, too. "I think we should get this one," he said, nodding to the book in her gentle hold. "There isn't much in there you'd disagree with, I don't think." he smirked, but there was something softer in his expression now. Astra was like so many passages in that book, filled with quiet wisdom she probably didn't even realize. The kind that made you stop and reconsider everything you thought you knew. 

The passage he told her to read, It hit a little too close, especially when he thought about how much of himself he'd already handed over to her, willingly, without even noticing. And how it didn't scare him like it should. When her eyes dipped to the pages and her voice stumbled a little over the words, he couldn't stop smiling. Felix leaned in, his finger lightly guiding her eyes across the page, but his own gaze stayed on her.

She sounded out each syllable slowly, her accent emerging subtly through the words in a way that made them sound softer, more melodic than they had any right to. By the time she finished, he was grinning like a fool, and without thinking, he leaned over to press a kiss to her cheek. "That was good. So, you can read. Gibran didn't exactly like explaining things simply, either." Felix muttered.

And then she told him that he had given himself to her. There was a pause before he laughed outright, the sound quick but genuine. His eyes flicked to her lips, then back to her gaze, and he couldn't argue. "Well, don't tell anyone," he said, smirking. "Sort of embarrassing." Felix kissed her briefly, but his lips lingered over hers before another soft, grazing affection brushed over them.

It was then that the strange phenomenon hit. The kind that happened in every quiet, empty space. They'd been alone for not even a good half hour, but now, somehow, other people started filtering into the bookstore. They couldn't see the newcomers from where they sat, but the creak of chairs and the low shuffle of feet gave them away, all of them seemingly drawn to the same corner. Felix leaned back, resting his head against the shelf with a sigh that was more amused than anything.

"If there's an open mic night..." he said, deadpan, glancing at Astra with mock despair. "I'm going to kill myself. Right here. I'll use the books. You'll have to explain that one to the cops." he smirked as another muffled voice joined the distant hum. The pill was catching up with him, and everything felt just ridiculous enough to make it funny. "We probably have about fifteen minutes to find Kafka and read something of his, otherwise we'll have an existential crisis." Felix muttered quickly about the pill's effects looming through his veins. He shifted to his feet to hunt down the miserable bastard he felt a natural affinity to. "There's one quote from The Trial that makes me think of you." of course, he knew it by heart.

Felix's voice slipped into something more thoughtful as he scanned the shelves. "It's not necessary to accept everything as true, one must only accept it as necessary." he mused the words with a small grin, thinking immediately of what they used to mean to him and what they mean to him now. Two entirely different perspectives, with only Astra to blame.

[rviner]

we take a walk in the city / no one knows me like you do / we climb the highest building / just to stop the time / only you / I can see you’re whole tonight / and I know you see me too

@ofwrxth

[rviner]

"Did it? Oh, that was not what I was hoping for." Astra smirks with a fake innocence, her wide eyes brimming with fake shock. The act doesn't last long before her laugh breaks through, soft and bright. If she could curse someone, she knows she wouldn't. She already feels cursed enough, burdened by visions that cling to her. The one from earlier today, with the flowers, still lingers. It's sunk right in her bones. It doesn't make sense, not fully, but it's there like a haunting.

But when she's with Felix, the weight shifts. The thoughts that usually loop endlessly in her head go quiet. Funny, she thinks, how Felix would never consider himself the type to make someone feel at ease. Not with his serious face and the way his brooding eyes seem to cut through everything. But he does. Around him, she feels lighter, like the visions can't follow her as easily. Moments like this with him are Astra's favorite. She collects them. Every small piece of himself that he shows her feels like a charm, something she decorates her heart with.

She chuckles when he kisses her palm, letting her hand linger against his cheek, her smile growing. "Maybe...we're all philosophers? Is that possible?" she asks, her voice light and thoughtful, her words drifting. "We create our own reality?" It feels true to her in the way most things do. Fluid, without hard edges or strict rules. Everyone she's ever met seems to live in their own reality, shaped by their own truths. Why would there only be one way to see the world? Astra's never been a fan of absolutes.

Her gaze lingers on Felix as he talks, warmth blooming in her chest as she listens. He's so at ease with these ideas, and it's impossible not to wonder about the life he had before the circus. Was he the type to sit in grand halls, soaking in knowledge? Or was he more like her, someone who stumbled into things, finding beauty where others didn't look? She doesn't ask. Astra trusts she'll know when she's meant to. Right now, she just enjoys the way his smile answers just enough.

When she tells him she stopped school, there's no judgment in his eyes, and she knows there won't be. Felix doesn't press, doesn't ask why, and that makes Astra smile all the more. "Do you like Kafka?" she asks, noticing the knowing glint in his eye as he talks about the other book. She shifts slightly when he moves closer but it's impossible not to lean back into him as he pulls her closer. Astra sets the book higher, inviting him to read to her.

She doesn't follow the words on the page, her focus is entirely on him. His voice is steady, a quiet rhythm that envelopes her as he reads, and the passage feels as if it's been written just for her. Hearing her own thoughts said back, framed so beautifully, makes her grin widen. Time has always felt like a strange, intangible thing to Astra, and hearing Felix describe it through Gibran's words makes her feel weightless. "I love this so much." she whispers, her voice tinged with awe, as though Felix has given her a gift. He has, in many ways. A validation she never knew she needed to hear. "That is me! I am your liminal girl." she giggles, glancing down at the page.

When Felix encourages her to read next, she gives him a coy smile, her eyes narrowing slightly in mock defiance. "Don't laugh." Astra mutters, sitting a little straighter as if preparing for a performance. Her fingers trace the edge of the page before she clears her throat.  

"You give but…little when you give of your possessions..." she says, her voice measured, the cadence slightly halting as she feels out the words. The 'r' rolls faintly, her accent peeking through. Her brows knit slightly in concentration. "It is…when you give of yourself that you truly give." the rhythm evens out now, her tone growing steadier, though there's a small pause as she tests the weight of each phrase. The last words soften, almost like a sigh. "It's beautiful." Astra says, her tone light but thoughtful. She looks back at Felix, her grin playful but full of warmth. "I think that's us, too. You've given me you."

Felix couldn't stop the laughter that rolled up from his chest, low and warm. "You know that makes it sound like you could curse me, right?" he teased, his voice soft with affection. Their relationship might have been new (ish) but he'd known her for two years now. Able to recognize the undeniable truth of her. Astra was kind. Genuinely, achingly kind. Not the superficial kindness people performed for politeness, but a kindness that radiated from somewhere deep inside her. It wasn't something Felix had encountered often, and certainly not something he expected to find so captivating.  

Then there was how she said it, so simple and absolute: "You know me." No fluff. Just a finite truth, spoken like there was no room to argue. And there wasn't. Felix felt the corners of his mouth curve up as he nodded. "Yeah." he murmured, his voice low and thoughtful. "I do know you." he leaned just slightly, closing the small distance, his cheek brushing her hand before pressing a kiss to her palm. "And you know me." he added through a gentle smirk.

The circus, like the people in it, carried its share of secrets. Some wore them like armor, while others let slip little pieces. But with Astra, Felix found something different. She didn't seem to dwell on what she didn't know or what she kept tucked away. She existed so wholly in the present that it pulled him in, grounding him in a way he hadn't thought possible. Felix, who had spent so much time lost in the past or trying to outmaneuver the future, found himself always here with her, and it was enough. The rest didn't matter. He knew her, and she knew him, and the rest was just noise.

Her musings stirred his thoughts, the way they always did. She had a knack for slipping an idea into the air that made him see things from an angle he'd missed. He nodded, his grin softening but growing no less genuine. "Yeah." he said, his tone low and encouraging. "That's liminality again." and being in the bookstore only added to the liminality they kept revisiting. First, there was a strange nostalgia for the life he'd left behind, then the quiet comfort of the shelves around him, and finally, a spark of excitement.

He wanted to share this world with Astra, to let her see the brilliance of the words that once inspired him, now viewed through the fresh perspective she offered him. She had a way of reframing everything, making it new and alive again. When he read to her, the way the passage hit her was almost tangible. He could see it in her wide eyes, the small curve of her lips, the way she clutched the book like it held the key to something important. Felix smiled, wide and proud, watching as she slipped away to sit on the floor, the book balanced on her lap. "Yeah? Well, you've been a philosopher all along." he said, his voice dipping into fondness.

But her next words made his smile falter, just faintly. Felix hovered by the shelves. He knew she wasn't ashamed, and there was no reason to be. But, something in him softened all the same. His own education had been endless, an excuse to avoid his family and their suffocating expectations. Hers, he knew without asking, hadn't ended with the same kind of luxury. "That makes perfect sense, better spoken than reading happens a lot." he reassured after a beat, his voice quieter. He thought to ask why she left, but he stopped himself. There wouldn't be a happy story there. And Astra didn't need him prodding at old wounds.

When she glanced up and mentioned The Trial, however, he couldn't help the laugh that broke through, lightening the moment. Felix scanned the shelves with a smirk. "Best to read Kafka before the pill hits. Nobody wants to read Kafka high. It's…well, he's when liminality goes wrong." his own joke made him chuckle under his breath, but when she asked him to read more of The Prophet her, his curiosity piqued.

He abandoned the search for Kafka (and he could almost hear the spirit of Franz finding a deep amusement in that) as he walked to her instead, dropping down beside her with ease. Without hesitation, Felix wrapped an arm around Astra, pulling her close as he leaned over the book. "A lot of this is like you." he murmured, his voice low, thoughtful again as he flipped through the pages, finding the passage he wanted. He gave her a small, knowing smile but his tone steadied as he began to read. 

"You would measure time the measureless and the immeasurable. You would adjust your conduct and even direct the course of your spirit according to hours and seasons. Of time you would make a stream upon whose bank you would sit and watch its flowing. Yet the timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness, and knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream."

By the time he finished, his smile had grown impossibly wide. He glanced at Astra, watching her with a gleam in his eye. "See? You're my liminal girl." he said, his voice full of warmth as he pressed a kiss against her temple. "You say that about time...all the time." his smirk twitched and Felix unable to ignore the wonder of the moment. Quiet and gentle but there in every second. Tonight started with the idea of a numbed escape. A defiance, a brutal and fierce need to protect Astra. And now, it was unfolding with tender love. A shared, soft glimpse into one another. "You try reading it now." he muttered, his voice a whisper now, his fingertip brushing to the page to guide her eyeline. "This part, because it's also you."

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

[rviner]

The truth is, Ines is just a girl. She's thought about moments like this before. Wondered what it would feel like to give in to lust, to not be so ashamed of it. To let a moment consume her with no restrictions. No rules. To be reckless and irresponsible. But, she had no idea it felt like this. Is it really meant to be this intense? She doesn’t even know Jakob and yet there's something about him that makes all of this feel natural. It's impossible for her to think of anything but him. How his mouth feels surrounding hers, how the heat of his kisses make her heart beat faster and faster.

And because Ines is just a girl, she can't help but revel in just how fucking good he looks. All muscle, tall, strong. Her hands can't help themselves either, exploring over his arms, fingertips digging into his skin. And when her hips move instinctively to find friction, she can't even help the sharp breath that's pulled from her. The feel of his hard cock pressing against her sends her mind spiraling, thoughts about how it will feel when he buries inside her. Because…holy fuck she can feel how big it is.

Ines can't get out of her shorts fast enough, a slight laugh on her lips as her legs lift so she can free herself. And then there's his touch instantly over her skin, a warm palm traveling between her thighs and the hard press of his knuckles against the seam of her leotard. "Fuck." Ines breathes, the pressure even through the thin material has her cunt dripping with anticipation. She has half the mind to tell him to just tear the leotard off her, but she knows how crazy that sounds. But this is crazy. All of it. It's desire unleashed and she loves every second.

The flash of Jakob's cheeky grin is just as intoxicating as his touch, and she laughs, unable to help the way her hand winds to his shoulder, urgently pulling him back to her for another deepening kiss. "Yeah, well. You've finished practice and now you're gonna finish in me." her quip is a simple mumble, to the point, not wanting this boldness she's found to go anywhere. A breath catches in her throat as Jakob moves her leotard to the side, exposing her wet cunt to his touch. Ines moans as his fingers slide against her, his thumb pressing over her clit forcing the sound stronger and into a pitiful whine. The sensations ripple through her, pleasure building in the pit of her stomach. Like he's sending sparks of it shooting through her body.

Her hips rock to his hand without a second thought needed, moving to his touch. More, more more. And for a moment, Ines lets her eyes flutter closed to the pleasure he gives her. Is she supposed to be as needy as this? She doesn't know what's taken over her. She could easily blame the way she's technically an animal and that's why Jakob has her acting like she's in heat. Making her gasp and shiver. Because, there's a moment her noises slip into frustration and impatience. "Jakob..." Ines whispers, a flinch of her hips urging for more. "Please, we don't...have the time for...teasing." she breathes, her hand dropping to his arm, hips angling as she guides his fingers to push into her soaked cunt. She's already obsessed at the way it feels as they sink inside, drawing a sharp and shaking gasp from her throat. "Oh, fuck."

Jakob is swept away by a current of want and need so desperate he's blindsided by it entirely. From one moment to the next the intensity of their kisses grows. There's hunger and it has teeth. It bites into him as he nips at Ines' neck, tongue lascivious and present after each scrape of his teeth against soft skin. Her breath is short, matching his, and she tastes like a dream. He's not sure if this is one but he doesn't want to wake up if it is. He tells himself it can't be. That there's no way a dream can make him feel so much want in earnest. So much need. Because it threatens to overwhelm him as Ines gasps out breathlessly and says the very words he wants to hear. Don't want you to stop.

So he doesn't. Really, he couldn't if he tried. He's on fire and he doesn't mind the burn. Heat grows between them as she juts her hips against his. Jakob inhales sharply, desire bubbling in the pit of his stomach, cock hardening with each roll of her hip as she searches for relief. For friction and pleasure. He groans as she repeats the motion, this time grinding into her, feeling the way her legs tighten around his waist as his hard cock presses against her. "Fuck." Jakob pulls back at her words. He's panting, breathless as green eyes find hers, both their pupils blown wide with want. Lust fills both their faces and Jakob responds to her by tangling his fingers in her hair, twisting slightly to tip her head back. He catches her lips with his, languid and deep before rolling his hips once more against her so she can feel just how hard he is. How much he wants this.

"You're in luck," he mumbles against her lips, pulling back, just enough to look at her again. "Because I've finished practice for the night." Said with a cheeky grin that breaks through the haze of the moment. There'd really been no practice happening anyway. Not when she started talking to him. He's glad she did. Fuck. He's really glad she did. He reaches between them, tugging at her shorts with a huff of impatience as she shimmies them off, kissing her lips, jaw and neck all the while. Once they're off, he glances down at her with a snicker.

"This is annoying." He says, indicating her leotard but mischief is every present in Jakob and he doesn't give her a chance to respond before he brushes his knuckles between her thighs, over her center. "But I think I can make it work." He applies some pressure with his knuckles as he captures her mouth in another kiss. "For now." Jakob mumbles before tugging it to the side, letting his fingers skim over her. He swears when he feels how wet she is already, groaning as she coats two fingers.

He's never been one for patience or moving slow, but that's not to say he doesn't enjoy his fair bit of taunting, of teasing until someone's wound tight. It's why he resists dipping his fingers into her cunt despite the way she squirms, hips jutting to meet him. Jakob keeps kissing Ines, tongue mingling with hers as he begins a steady motion of running his fingers up and down her slit, thumb brushing her clit so he can hear her gasp before applying a bit of pressure, just enough to make her moan into his mouth. Whatever this is – he doesn't question it. He knows she's burning up just as much as he is.

[rviner]

The urge to follow Felix's thoughts feels too shallow for Astra. She doesn't just want to follow. She wants to fall completely into them, to know what he sees, what he feels. But then that soft belief of hers tugs again, her faith in the beauty of secrets, how natural it is to keep pieces hidden. Maybe she'll never truly know what Felix thinks, and that only pulls her closer. Watching him, seeing the way his eyes hold hers with something deeper than interest, she feels comforted. Felix isn't trying to figure her out or explain her. He simply sees her and loves her. 

"I would never curse you." she says with a small laugh, her voice carrying the lingering amusement from her earlier attempt at that impossible word. The way Felix teases her never feels sharp or unkind, and it makes her wonder at the weight of words at all. He'd argue, she knows that. Words matter to him. They anchor things, make them real, give them substance. But for Astra, words feel like mere signposts, vague approximations of feelings that are too big to put in boxes. Phenomenology makes sense to her because it's about the spaces in between, the feelings that linger rather than the definitions. Still, she knows words have meaning because people give them meaning. Felix sharing this knowledge with her isn't just words, it's a kind of love. She smiles softly at the thought, her hand reaching up to cup his face as her voice dips with sincerity. "You know me. I love you for that."

Their tenderness is always there, unmistakable, even when the night starts to pick up with a buzz of energy Astra can never resist. She laughs when he humors her idea of skipping the club. "For now." she agrees, grinning. "Who knows? We might change our minds." her steps bounce lightly as she muses aloud, her voice lilting as she thinks. "Maybe that's why the in-between feels so great. You're not this or that. Maybe you're both at once?" she glances at Felix with wide eyes, playfulness curling her lips into a smirk. She lets him steer her when her wandering becomes aimless, laughing at how he gently guides her with his touch. They're not lost. They're exactly where they're meant to be as the city leads them to the bookstore.

When there, it feels like stepping into another world entirely. The air is heavy, the scent of paper left too long untouched. Shelves bow under the weight of books, scattered like they've been waiting for someone to dig through them. Astra takes it all in with wide eyes and a bright smile, her gaze landing on the grumpy man behind the counter. His glare bounces off her like light off glass and she still offers him a cheery, "Hi." before slipping further into the aisles.

She watches Felix carefully as he moves, something almost reverent about the way he scans the shelves. He looks completely out of place here. His sharp features, tattoos, and the quiet storm of his presence clashing with the soft chaos of dusty books and forgotten corners. But it suits him, too, in a way she can't explain. He looks like he belongs, and Astra finds herself unable to look away.

And then he finds the book and he reads to her. She feels her breath catch, not because of the words, though they're beautiful, but because of him. His tattooed fingers trace the lines on the page, his voice low and steady, each word deliberate. The richness of it all makes her laugh bubble up, touched and warm. "I love this!" Astra gasps, her voice full of wonder as she takes the book from him. "That is exactly what I feel. I always have." she's staring at the page, but it's clear she's not soaking in the words. Her smile lingers as her gaze flicks back to Felix, joy over her features.

Without a word, Astra slips away, the book still in hand as she moves to the end of the aisle. She lowers herself to the floor, opening the book again. "Felix, I..." her voice trails away as her head tilts slightly, fingertips tracing the edge of the book. She's not hesitant, just thoughtful. Her eyes glance over the page again before lifting to meet his. "I stopped going to school when I was ten." Astra utters, the confession easy to make here to him. "Some of this...it..." she pauses, her mouth closing as her head shakes her final answer. "I hear English better than I read it. Does that make sense?"

There's no shame, only honesty, her tone light as she glances to Felix with a sense of trust. "What is the other book you wanted?" Astra smiles now, looking to the shelves then to him, then to the book in her hands. "What else is in here that I might say? Felix-" the excitement is back, and she sits crossed legged, making room for him as she pats eagerly beside her. "Read to me!"

Felix always loved how Astra listened. Not just to him, but to everything, like she was in tune with a frequency no one else could hear. Or rather, no one else even bothered to. The way her gaze locked onto his when he spoke, so full of curiosity and care, made him feel…noticed. But it wasn't just the attention, it was how she listened. How she seemed to hold space for everything, even the things other people missed.

And then there was her face. Felix wasn't good at putting words to feelings, but Astra's beauty hit him like a gut punch every time. Her cheekbones caught the light just enough to make shadows dance across her skin, and her lips were full, soft, and expressive. They seemed to carry a secret smile even when she wasn't smiling at all. Her curls framed it all in their wild, unpredictable way, like she was part of the chaos but also the one holding it together. There was a timelessness to her, something he couldn't put his finger on but felt every time he looked at her too long.

When she fumbled through the word, her voice tripping over the syllables, Felix couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped him. It came from somewhere deep, shaking his chest. "You sound like you're casting some ancient curse." he teased, his grin crooked as he watched her. That lilt in her voice, the way it softened the edges of her words, always got to him. It made her sound like she belonged to another time, another world. An old Norse goddess who had somehow wandered to him. And, if he was honest, he worshiped her like one.

Her thoughts about feelings and impressions sparked something in him. He nodded, the smirk fading into something more thoughtful. "Yeah." Felix said, his tone softer, more deliberate. "It is sort of like that. In a way." he chuckled, picking his thoughts on the philosophy before his eyes narrowed slightly and his grin returned. "You're kind of an expert already." he watched Astra ponder over liminality, proud of himself for knowing something she'd latch onto. "I knew you'd like it." he said, his voice tinged with affection. Still, the thought of buying the books tugged at something in him, a hesitation. He didn't like the idea of blending his old life, his old self, with the circus. It didn't feel as if there was any space for it, and yet with Astra he didn't mind sharing it. "Maybe." he added, deflecting. "But it's a slippery slope. Books'll have us broke in no time."

And then she lit up about the bookstore and Felix couldn't control his own laughter. Her excitement was infectious, pulling him along before he could even think of saying no. "Instead of the club?" he asked, raising a brow. But her laughter was enough of an answer, her quick steps and bright energy leading them wherever they were heading. With Astra, Felix realized the in-between wasn't something to get through. She made it the best part.

It didn't take long to find the late night bookstore. Felix led her there, enjoying the way their movements synced without effort. Astra sometimes pulling ahead, then him steering them back on track. The place was exactly what he expected. Mismatched, cramped, every shelf packed with books in no real order. Dust hung in the air like it was part of the decor, and a grumpy man stood behind the counter, his glasses perched on the edge of his nose, his gray hair poking up in wild directions. Felix's excitement dimmed slightly, replaced by quiet intrigue, his hand resting lightly on the back of Astra's neck.

"Hey, uh…" he hesitated, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. "Might be a weird request, but do you have…The Prophet? Kahlil Gibran." the man grunted in response. It wasn't clear if it was a yes or no, just a very German sounding noise but, Felix continued. "And…The Trial, Franz Kafka." that got a raised eyebrow, just as Felix expected and a wry grin crept onto his lips. "In English?" he added. The man gestured vaguely toward a darker, cluttered corner of the shop, and Felix chuckled under his breath.

The shelves in that corner seemed to press closer together yet there was something that seemed to beckon him. It had been a long time since Felix stood among books like this, and the sensation was more akin to a sad nostalgia, one he couldn't place. He led Astra down the aisle, the air full of paper and time and his hand stayed on her neck, steadying her and, maybe, himself. He took his time to scan the shelves, first finding The Prophet.

"Here." Felix said, tugging the book free, having to ensure a million more didn't tumble after it. And suddenly, holding the weight of it in his palm almost gave him a sense of old and new at once. He knew exactly what page to turn to, more or less, flipping through the paper like the book was still his ongoing read of the month. Clearing his throat, he glanced to Astra and his grin softened. His free hand returned to her, drawing her closer.

"You may strive to seek new paths, but it is the stepping upon old stones that grounds you, reminds you of what was and what could be. And yet, the crossing itself carries its own meaning, for it is there that you are truly alive." his brow raised, eyes back on her from the page. "Sounds like someone we know, don't you think?" Felix muttered, passing the book over for her to read. "I think you'd make Gibran write you love letters if he knew you."

[rviner]

Before Felix speaks, Astra senses the shift in him, the way he drifts into thought like the tide pulling back. She wouldn't say it's because they've spent so much time together. Anyone could see it, she thinks. That brooding stillness that's purely Felix. The slight furrow of his brow, the way his eyes seem to darken as though every thought carries gravity. It's a quiet intensity she loves, one that drew her in before she even realized it. The way he holds himself in moments of silence, they make her feel like he's carrying more than he'll ever say aloud. 

Her grin grows when his voice dips, that low, deliberate tone of his. She listens, not just to the words but to the way they linger, revealing fragments of a life he rarely shares. Astra doesn't pry. She's learned to treasure these glimpses, these small windows he opens just enough for her to peek through. "Phenomenology." she repeats, the syllables tangling in her accent, and she bursts into laughter at her own attempt. "I like that, though." she continues, her tone lighter now. "It's like…when you lie in the grass and then leave. The imprint is there. The shape." her gaze drifts forward, her eyes soft and far away. "Feelings are like that, too. Right? The shape of them is made in us."

When Felix reveals what made the bridge so special to him, Astra's face lights up, a smile spreading over her lips. She tucks herself closer to him, their steps falling into sync. There's a bounce to her walk now, a playful energy sparking in her movements. "Mm, well, I don't need a book to tell me it's true." she teases, glancing up at him with a grin and then his laugh rumbles deep, like thunder softened at a distance. It makes something in her chest tighten and then loosen again, a warmth that spreads through her as if she's caught in the storm of it.

But as he talks about the bridge, her laughter softens into a quiet hum. She watches him, her features open and calm, her lips slightly parted as though she breathes in his words. Her eyes, always so full of thought, seem to take on a new focus. "Oh, I agree with that." Astra nods, her voice full of certainty. "The in-between is a place of its own. It always has been. I've always thought so." they move through the street together, Astra staying tucked against Felix's side, their pace easy despite the cold air.

"We should buy some of these books." she says suddenly, her energy shifting again, bright and eager. "Although, I don't really need to read one. You're a walking one." she laughs but she's entirely serious in her compliment, pressing closer against Felix's side as if they're walking as one. Taking the pill together feels almost routine. She watches as he takes his share, her expression soft and absent of judgment. Sharing, she thinks, is practical. Responsible, even.

As Felix's kiss brushes against her lips, Astra hums but her eyes widen, a playful glint as an idea strikes. "Oh, wait...Felix!" her voice sparks with excitement and her eyes dart to the street, almost as if they're catching something only she can see. Astra grabs his arm, tugging lightly. "Felix, we should find a bookstore. We don't have to buy the books." the suggestion lands like a revelation and her enthusasism bubbles over. Astra's pace quickens and she waves to his pocket, as if his phone holds all the answers. "I bet they have cafes and books open. Isn't Berlin always alive at night. Check, Check!" she laughs, practically running now despite there being no clear direction. Only an idea of one.

This thought lifts Astra's laughter into a delighted sound, quick and sudden. She spins around, moving backwards with their hands still joined. "We're in-between right now, Felix. Right? Liminality? We know where we're going, one place to another, but we're not there yet. But we're still here."

Felix used to lose himself in obsessive thoughts. Some might argue that he still did, but years ago they were the kind of thoughts that dug deep and twisted tight. Questions piling on top of each other until he didn't know where one began and another ended. Not just the usual existential why of life, but why anything at all? Why was it even there? He'd tried to untangle the mess, picking apart his own mind with philosophy books as his tools. Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Camus, de Beauvoir. He devoured them like a starving man, always chasing meaning he never quite caught. Back then, every word felt like a breadcrumb to something bigger. Now? They were an old joke, ironic in a way that made him laugh. These days, those books were just ghosts of a different Felix, one who had the luxury of overthinking everything. 

But then there was Astra. He didn't mind letting her see a glimpse of who he used to be. Her words always sounded soft, dreamy, like she lived in a place no one else could see. But Felix could hear it. Philosophy hidden in her musings, like she was stitching meaning together without even trying. "That's phenomenology." Felix said, his voice low, almost amused. His arm stayed hooked around her shoulder, holding her close as they walked. "I think you'd like it. It's about how things aren't just physical but how they're remembered, how they're felt." he didn't miss the irony. How someone who made a habit of running from things could find permanence in such fleeting moments. But that was Astra's magic, wasn't it? She could take the simplest thing and make it feel special.

He glanced at her, his grin sharp and full of mischief. "You know what I like?" he mused, eyes flicking to the street ahead. "I like that we didn't even need to write it there for it to be true." the initials, the bridge. They were more than marks on wood. They were actions that had already cemented themselves in memory, in meaning. He thought of Hume then, the whole idea of belief not relying on what's seen but what's known. Felix didn't need proof. He'd felt it.

His thoughts drifted, but Astra pulled him back with a joke that caught him so off guard he let out a deep, startled laugh. "Astra!" he barked, his expression mock-offended, as if her words were the most scandalous thing he'd ever heard. "Jesus, what's wrong with you?" his tone was teasing, eyes bright, but his arm never loosened its hold on her as they walked. Felix couldn't help but grin when Astra's words drifted about bridges, their symbolism. "That's liminality." he said, nudging her lightly. His gaze dropped to hers and the smile softened. "It's the in-between, not a phase but it's own...meaningful state. The bridge makes it real, tangible. You'd love some of the books I had." the thought of them stirred something bittersweet. Books left behind when life forced him and Jakob to run. He hadn't touched philosophy in years, but with Astra, it didn't feel buried. 

Her words had that effect on him. Astra didn't even know how profound she could be and Felix just wanted to listen to her, always. Learn her in the same way he used to pore over pages, but with none of the hunger and all of the devotion. Maybe she was all he needed to read anymore. Felix barely glanced at his phone before shoving it back into his pocket, already nodding at whatever she had in mind.

He watched her break the pill in half, the movement delicate, deliberate. Her fingers held out the other half, and Felix leaned down without hesitation, taking it from her with his mouth before brushing his lips to hers. Whatever second thoughts he had were gone. "If that's where you want to go," he murmured, steering her gently as they turned the corner. "That's where we're going." Berlin sprawled out ahead of them, and Felix took it all in with a sharp eye as his hand dropped to Astra's waist. Keeping her close, always. "Try not to befriend too many German Hippies, okay? They might be propaganda."

[rviner]

[rviner]

Motherhood feels like a blessing Astra counts with every breath. Her eyes open to the soft rustle of Nova stirring or the little girl's quiet determination as she climbs onto the bed like it's Everest. Astra's heart fills, overflows, spilling into her morning. It happens again when Nova is with others, the way her daughter adores them, and how they love her right back. Astra's smile deepens when she watches Nova with Kenzie, their bond something she swears she can almost see. Kenzie isn't just a friend anymore, she's become something more, a sister in all the ways that matter.

She watches Nova dart around the tent, a blur of movement that disappears from sight. But, there's no rush. Astra only moves when Kenzie does, letting her steps fall in time and trailing after Nova with an easy pace. Her mind drifts to the dream instead, the pieces of it fitting together in her head. "When something keeps coming back, it's trying to tell us something." she murmurs, her gaze flicking upward to the sky before she looks at Kenzie, her smile softening like the edges of a cloud. "Red usually means passion…or danger."

Astra's voice lowers, not because she's unsure but because the thought feels like it belongs in the quiet. "The hallway could be where you are right now. Your place in life. And the doors…" her words trail off as she moves slowly, her steps light, circling the tent like her body needs to move when her thoughts do. "The doors could be memories...or things you need to face. Things you need to open before you can get to the door at the end. That one, though…that's clarity. Answers." her voice is certain now and she offers a little nod.

Nova's up ahead, crouched with something too fascinating for a three year old to ignore and Astra doesn't call out to her. Instead, she glances back at Kenzie. "Can you hear what's behind the doors? What's being said?" she asks, her tone light and curious before a small laugh escapes her about visions within dreams. "Oh!" a hand flings to her necklaces, fingers winding through the charms and crystals in a quick movement. "That would be horrible, I think. But, I bet it happens to some people." Astra hums, her head shaking to refute any idea that Kenzie might form. "I don't want to try." her chuckle is quick and light, a slight nervousness to the sound.

Kenzie chuckles, glancing at Nova with a smirk as she leans in, taking a loud, exaggerated sniff of the girl's cheek. "Yeah, I bet! You smell like syrup!" she teases, watching Nova's face light up as she dissolves into a fit of giggles. The sound is contagious, and when Astra wipes away a sticky smear from Nova's cheek, all three of them end up laughing together. But, Kenzie watches Astra's gentle touch. The way she holds Nova's face with such careful affection, and there's something about it that's hard to look away from.

Nova wiggles excitedly in Kenzie's arms, chattering about games, eyes wide and full of joy. Kenzie grins, nodding along as they plan the whole night already. "Amazing, we can play all those and more," she promises, her voice warm as she gives Nova a quick squeeze before setting her down. She watches the girl's tiny legs scurry off, her eyes staying on her. Kenzie's head shakes, laughing as Nova disappears around a tent. "Quiet game? Ain't no such thing." she jokes to Astra, her steps starting up to follow after Nova with a light concern.

As for the dream, Kenzie waves a hand. "Well, I ain't had one again since..." her voice pauses, no need to keep mentioning Alicent's death as they all feel it. She turns the corner, a slight relief to see Nova not quite as far as she thought she'd be. "Just weird that they've never been different, right? Always the same place, same thing happening." an endless hallway, red walls, everything dark. Doorways on either side, all shut but muffled voices from behind them. Until the door at the end is wide open, but as Kenzie tries to reach it, the floor shifts, pulling her further and further away. "I have no idea what any of it means." she mumbles, giving a slight shrug to Astra as they walk.

Her curiosity piques, however and she glances to her friend with a narrowed gaze. "What you been thinking about?" she knows Astra's mind is an interesting place, always turning over things most might not notice. "You know what I wonder sometimes?" Kenzie chuckles then, nudging Astra's arm gently. "If I could get in your dreams and see visions like you do. Like...double ability or whatever." her laugh lifts. "I know it don't work like that, but it'd be trippy as hell."

[rviner]

Astra meets Felix's gaze, her expression soft. A look she hopes conveys how she will always hold space for the things he tells her. She doesn't push, though. Secrets, she figures, are like stones in a river. They belong where they settle. She has plenty of her own, tucked away in quiet corners of her mind. And his? She trusts they'll find her when they're ready. If they're ever supposed to. Divine timing, she thinks. Her hand grazes his face, fingers light against the sharp edge of his jaw. She smiles, something small but warm, for the thought she can almost see flickering behind his eyes. Whatever it is, he hides it well.

That grin of his is back, crooked, sly, and just a little too pleased with himself and making her chuckle. "Maybe." she says, her voice thoughtful, already somewhere else. Astra's thinking about their bridge with their messy initials scrawled in. The letters just might be gone by now, washed away by the rain or buried under snow. "But, in our minds..." she taps a finger lightly against her temple, her tone drifting as if she's following the thought as it forms, "It's still there, you know? We wrote it. We never saw it fade. So…it's still there. And for anyone else who saw it after us…it's there for them, too." 

She remains tucked under Felix's arm, pressing closer to him as they walk. Right now, it's an aimless direction. A vague idea of somewhere to be, but no pressure to be there. A feeling Astra enjoys more than she can put into any words. "Ass Fuck." she giggles suddenly about their initials, childish almost as her shoulders hunch up as if she's hiding. Felix's low laugh rumbles beside her, and she feels the warmth of it as much as she hears it. But his teasing question pulls her into a different kind of thoughtfulness, and her giggles soften into a hum.

"Well, I do like bridges." she admits, her voice quieter now, like she's letting herself figure out why. "They're connection points, right? One side to the other. But when you stand in the middle…you're somewhere else. Not quite one side, not quite the other, but still…somewhere." Astra nods humming again as she realizes a sudden affinity to the structures. "The point is to cross them, I know, but…a bridge is a place. All on its own." 

Felix's joke, however, pulls Astra from her thoughts and she gasps. Peeling back from him, she gives him a playful look of disapproval. "That's horrible. Don't say that." she chides, her lips twitching with the grin she's trying to hold back. She nods toward the phone. "What do you think? Should we? I think it'll be fun." and her hand is already dipping into his pocket, her fingers finding the little bag of pills he told her about. She slips one free, snapping it in half. "Think of all the pretty colors." Astra murmurs, her voice lilting and playful as her gaze slides to Felix. A grin touching the corner of her lips as she places one half of the pill on her tongue, holding out the other for him.

Felix nodded, answering Astra's question with silent conviction, wanting to skate past outright deceit. Kenzie's words returned to the forefront of his thoughts, just enough to tighten his jaw. His hand reached out, brushing a curl from Astra's face, his touch soft and light. How could he tell her what people thought? What they both might have to face eventually? But then he met her gaze, that innocence in her deep eyes. It wasn't naivety, it was this ridiculous, beautiful wonder she carried, this way of trusting people even when she had no reason to. Her heart, big enough to spill over, made him feel protective and furious all at once. How could he tell her things that questioned her love for Nova? He couldn't. So, he wouldn't.

"It was a bridge. yeah." he said with a teasing, stoic tone but the corners of his mouth betrayed him. Yes, it was just a boring stretch of concrete and steel until they left their mark, two messy letters scrawled in ink. "Think it's still there?" Felix mused but did it matter? He wanted to laugh at how Astra had this stupid, incredible way of anchoring him to the present, something no one else had managed. For someone like Felix, who obsessed over the meaning of finality and permanence, this was a seismic shift. He wasn't obsessing over the past or future anymore. That bridge, their initials, whether they were still there or not...it didn't really matter. What mattered was that night, that moment. And her. Always her. 

"We missed a trick, though. We should have written A F. As fuck." Felix chuckled, his grin lifting over his lips. His gaze flicked to the street ahead, scanning their surroundings but it always came back to her. Astra's voice, still with the hint of her faint accent made him smirk. "Yet!?" he quickly teased, raising a brow. "Are you secretly a bridge enthusiast? When should I expect this German bridge list?" her laugh was like bait he couldn't resist, and when Astra took his phone, he let her. He kept his arm around her, pulling her closer with a squeeze against her shoulder.

His focus on the map didn't last. Astra's lips found his jaw, then his cheek, peppering kisses in a relentless ambush. "Okay, okay-" Felix laughed, his voice breaking as he stooped to meet her attack. He barely managed to straighten up, her laughter infectious and her kisses pulling him under as he tried to squint at his screen. "Psychedelic club? Oh, for fuck's sake, Astie." Felix groaned, shooting her a look. "German hippies? Isn't that...an oxymoron?" he feigned an exasperated huff but grinning, always grinning.

[rviner]

To be loved by Felix feels almost like being untouchable. A feeling Astra considers rare, special. Especially when she hadn't always known the world to be kind. She knows its sharp teeth, its cold shoulders. How nastiness has reached her even when she ran as far as she could away from it. But Felix? He's this fierce devotion wrapped in an intensity. It's safety and he doesn't just protect her, he protects her heart, handling it with a gentleness that always surprises her. She clings to that feeling, knowing how rare it is, how much it means to be loved like this.

Half the night's work is now abandoned, and Astra doesn't care. It's like she can exhale for the first time in hours. Escape from visions that take a little piece of her away with them, bit by bit. When he catches her frown, his teasing smirk melts it into a reluctant grin. "Hm...you would tell me if something was?" Astra asks, her finger coming up to prod gently at Felix's jaw. But, by the time their mouths meet in a clumsy and excited kiss, her laughter breaks and Astra's reassured just enough. Though, not entirely.

Her laugh quickly becomes a cackle as he reminds her about the bridge, and she flops under his arm, leaning against him and humming as he scatters kisses over her face. So many that her nose scrunches and she squeals. "It was a lovely bridge." Astra recalls, her tone thoughtful and soft. In Oslo, she had dragged him to one she barely remembers the name of now. They say you're meant to leave a lock here. she'd told him, laughter bubbling in her voice as she then admitted she forgot to bring one, instead pulling a marker from her bag. Their initials she scrawled were uneven and a little smudged on one of the posts, but it didn't matter.

"Mm, well, you will be happy to know I have no idea about bridges in Germany. I haven't asked anyone yet, but I have heard of a club called Sisyphos?" Astra's eyes scan over his features, bright as she takes in every detail. That sharp look behind his green eyes, how they always seem deep and playful. She slips her hand into his pocket without asking, fishing out Felix's phone since hers is nowhere to be found. "I'm not too sure where it is." she says, passing it with a cheeky grin so he can search. Then, she's leaning in to attack his face with kisses of her own. His cheek, jaw, wherever she can reach, her hand winding up to keep his face practically smooshed against her lips.

Felix noticed it immediately, the way Astra's eyes softened when they landed on him, her expression glowing with something warm and unguarded. Adoration. Pure and simple. It always knocked the wind out of him, like she saw something in him no one else ever could. Something he didn't think he deserved but couldn't help wanting to keep. Selfishly. All for himself. It eased some of the tension still strung tight across his shoulders, though his jaw stayed locked. "Doesn't matter. That's for me to worry about. I'll talk to them." he said, softer now and brushing off her concern about Quinlan and Aurelius. He was confident he could smooth things over. It wasn't like she hadn't earned a break. Anything was worth it to hear her laugh like that, bright, carefree, like the little chimes she kept hanging around her trailer.

He wasn't surprised she noticed the tension he still carried, and it wasn't as if he could ever hide it for long. But, Felix shook his head and offered her a playful smirk. "No, nothing's wrong. Just think we need a night to explore Berlin, don't you?" his tone was smooth, but he could tell by her soft frown that she wasn't entirely convinced.

As they stopped a few steps short of the circus's edge, the bustle of it still alive behind them, Felix let himself take her in. The way Astra looked up at him. The way her words flowed with a soft certainty that always managed to undo him. He dipped his head to kiss her, but Astra beat him to it, her arms flinging around his shoulders, her laughter bright and sudden. "Yeah?" he murmured against her lips, a chuckle of his own slipping out as his hands found her waist, steadying her as she leaned into him.

Felix let her lead him next, his hand holding hers and there was no doubt in his mind that he'd follow her anywhere. "Okay, but you know I meant a club, right?" he teased, breaking into a grin as his steps took him to her side, his arm draping over her shoulders and tucking her closer. His other hand reached to tilt her chin, angling Astra's face for another kiss as they moved. "Because last time...In Norway..." Another kiss. "You told me there was something I needed to see." Two more, this time dotting to her nose. "And it was a bridge." he said, smirking as he pulled back, glancing momentarily to ensure they weren't blindly walking the sidewalk. "It was a great bridge, but…I was thinking a club." his eyes moved back to hers, his grin lifting.

[rviner]

Astra steps out of the small tent, her gaze immediately softening as they land on Felix. Within an instant, the concern from her lingering vision melts away and she lets out a quiet, confused laugh when his hand wraps around her wrist. When he announces for the line to leave, Astra's eyes go wide. A surprised gasp escapes her as she covers her mouth with her hand, half laughing as she glances at the scattering line. "What!? What will I say to Quinlan or Aurelius?" but she's not protesting, not really. "Felix, I love it when you don't make much sense but I love it even more when I understand just a little bit of your nonsense." she teases, her giggles stirring as she scurries alongside him.

Only then does she notice the tension in his shoulders, the sharpness in his jaw. Even his words carry an edge as he suggests they go out, his gaze set somewhere beyond the present moment. "Okay…is something wrong?" Astra's voice dips, soft but concerned as she watches him closely. When they finally pause, she stops, her gaze lifting to meet his, and for a brief moment, they just look at each other. Felix grins, and without thinking, she mirrors it, a quiet laugh spilling out as his hand holds her. His words come, clear and bold, telling her he loves her like it's simply the truth of the world.

Astra nods, her eyes sparkling with affection and she laughs as he gently shakes her face from side to side, holding her steady in his palm. "Of course I know." she says, her voice light and full of certainty. "Because I love you and everything about you, too." without waiting, she rises onto her tiptoes, arms flinging around his shoulders as she pulls him into a sudden kiss. A spark of excitement ignites her as she peels away, grabbing his hand and now taking the lead with a skip to her step. "I know exactly where we can go." she tells him, glancing back over her shoulder with a wide smile, her turn to pull Felix with her as they leave the circus for a taste of adventure.

circus/berlin wow I do a lot of transitional threads

felix grave and astra @rviner

The tension hadn't left Felix since he'd stepped out of Kenzie's trailer. Her words replayed in his head as he practically marched his way through the circus, steps hitting the ground harder than usual. By the time he reached Astra's tent, he'd worked himself up again, jaw tight as he watched some poor soul step out from her reading, looking half dazed. Astra emerged next but he didn't give her a chance to speak. Without a word, Felix reached for her wrist, wrapping his fingers around it in a way that was firm but careful, guiding her with him. "Come on, let's go." he said, barely glancing back at the small crowd gathered outside, waiting for their own glimpse into the future.

"That was the last one. Come back tomorrow." he announced sharply, not missing the grumbles from the group as they began to disperse. Once they were clear of the crowd, he slowed his pace, his eyes finally settling on Astra. Felix's gaze softened, but that familiar, stubbornness remained. "Kenzie's bringing Nova back tomorrow." he told her, his voice quieter. "So, we should go out. Just us tonight." Felix could feel the words sticking in his throat, a challenge to the judgments that had been thrown at them in Kenzie's trailer.

Maybe he didn't have the exact words for it, but he knew he wanted to make a point. He wanted to prove that tomorrow, Kenzie would stop by and even while Astra nursed the night, she would still be a good mother. Nova would still be loved, cared for. "I have the pills." Felix said, dipping his hand into his pocket, fingers brushing the bag. A small thought flickered, wondering if this was proving any point other than his own selfishness and indulgence.

His steps slowed to a stop, just shy of the archway that would let them slip into the city of Berlin for the night. He paused, glancing at their escape before he turned to Astra. Felix studied her, searching for any glimpse of her wide pupils in the low lights as his hand cupped her face. He couldn't help it, a slow grin formed over his lips as he looked down at her, dropping a kiss to her forehead, the hold against her chin firmer to hold her in place. "I love you." he said, gently shaking her face as his grin grew, an intensity in his tone. Words that were an unshakable reality. "Everything about you. Do you know that?" and it wasn't a question.

[rviner]

Astra's laughter comes easy, because she knows Felix's teasing is just that. Trust isn't even something they have to think about, nor prove to one another. It's an understanding that was there from the start, from that night she first warned him of something she saw in his future, and he believed her without hesitation. Now, the trust has become a bond, too strong for words. They trust each other in ways that don't need explaining. "Hmm, not when you say it right." Astra counters, a playful glint sparking in her eyes. "Pannekaker." she drags the word out, leaning into her accent, eyebrows raised like she's daring him to challenge her. "Easy mistake." she adds, all mischief and a giggle.

It's Felix's low, sarcastic tone and that crooked grin of his that get her every time. The way he knows exactly how to keep her laughing. Easy and light. And then there's Nova, scrambling after them, giggling down the narrow hallway, her tiny feet pattering as she tries to keep up. Astra's laughter rises again as Felix tosses her onto the bed, cushions bouncing beneath her as she watches him scoop Nova up next. He's so gentle with her, pretending to throw her, giving a dramatic pause, but he only lets her fall a few inches. To Nova, though, it might as well be a freefall, her squeal of joy filling the room.

"I only had a bite! Not fair." Astra chuckles, shaking her head at the rule Felix has created, though she can't tear her eyes away from the delight that lights up Nova's face, the girl's eyes wide with excitement. Astra pokes Nova's belly, laughing as she squirms. "You are a pannekaker monster." she teases, leaning in to nuzzle her daughter's cheek, savoring the way Nova's laughter rises again, unfiltered and full. This, Astra realizes, is a feeling she never expected. This easy, serene sense of belonging. Being a mother has always been a gift. A blessing. But having this with Felix and Nova is more than she'd ever imagined. It's a kind of fullness, the kind that leaves her feeling at home in a way she never thought possible. "Come on, we need to find something warm to wear so we can feed those hungry ducks."

END.

Felix let out a low chuckle, smirking as he swept back a stray curl from Astra's face, his eyes warm, teasing. "Oh, no. I guess that's it, huh? No trust, nothing we can do." he murmured, all playful sarcasm with his grin. Her hand drifted up his arms, fingers tracing along his skin. That touch of hers always got to him, made him want to hold her closer, to keep her there just for him. He pulled back, just enough to arch a brow in a mock disbelief but it barely hid the amusement in his eyes. "Mm, understandable. I can see how that's easy to mix up." Felix laughed, voice dripping with a teasing sarcasm. "Pannekaker. Doesn't sound like pancakes whatsoever." the smirk stayed on his lips, fingers lingering on her cheek as he held her close.

Astra's laugh bubbled up, bright and real, and he couldn't help but feel that deep, grounding warmth she always gave him, the kind of laughter that sank right into his chest. But when her smile faltered, her face clouding with familiar hesitation, he felt his own grin fade, a small frown tugging at his lips. He knew why she kept those visions close, why they unnerved her. He understood why she wanted to breeze past the subject, the way her own gift could weigh on her, and he let her do just that. No need to press, especially not when he could pick her up, swing her over his shoulder, and hear that laugh again, let it fill the trailer until every shadow disappeared.

Little Nova was already stomping after them, tiny hands clenched into determined fists, her face a mix of delight and outrage. "I saw her with my own eyes, Novie." Felix teased, the words just enough to egg her on."Nu-uh, mine!" Nova stomped again, her little voice high and clear, bubbling over with laughter that was infectious, a bright, pure sound. But Felix could hear the way Astra spoke to her daughter, words so soft with a love he could barely wrap his mind around. He'd never known anything like it as a child, never felt that gentle, safe kind of love that Astra made look so effortless. Her life was fluid, untethered, and he knew some might raise an eyebrow at her way of doing things. But to him, she was perfect, all heart and fierce love, every bit the mother Nova needed.

Felix reached the bedroom and gently dropped Astra onto the bed with a laugh, feigning a throw. Nova's hands shot up immediately, a look of pure delight on her face. "Me too! Me too!" she squealed, hopping in place until Felix scooped her up and gave her a playful toss right beside Astra. Much lighter and much lower, Nova landed with a tiny bounce, her laughter like music filling the room. Felix crossed his arms, putting on a mock serious face as he looked down at them. "Alright ladies, both of you are banned from pancakes. Completely banned. They're causing too many problems." he said, nodding with exaggerated finality. Nova's mouth dropped open in shock, her eyes wide. "No! I love 'em too much!" she insisted, face scrunched up and Felix was quick to press his finger to her nose. "Exactly. And that's precisely the problem." Never mind that he was the one who made a million of them to begin with.

[rviner]

The moment shifts fast, before Ines can even keep up with it. Now, it's something urgent. Not even a second ago, they were teasing, testing boundaries, all playful curiosity. But now, there's something heavier in the air, something that takes her breath in short, rapid pulls. She's never been kissed like this, so full of need that she swears she can feel between them, like it's something tangible. Jakob's words are muffled against her lips but they only make her fingertips dig into his shoulders, a protest at the thought of him being anywhere but there, with her.

"No." Ines breathes, hearing the hint of desperation in her own voice as the urgency spikes higher. She's clinging to him, keeping him as close as possible, eager to savor how warmth seems to radiate from him, how there's an intensity in every touch. "I don't want you to stop." she murmurs just moments before their tongues are gliding over one another, tasting and searching.

She doesn't care where they are anymore. All Ines cares about is the sensation of Jakob's hand slipping along her thigh, lifting it around him. His kiss is intense, each brush of his mouth against hers making her mind whirl and scatter. There's a hum in her throat, a sound that starts soft and gentle before it lowers, like a quiet purr as her hips press instinctively against him. Seeking friction that she didn't even know she was looking for until now. A quick, sharp breath catches in her throat as soon as her hips rock, feeling his cock harden against the thin material of her shorts.

Part of her wonders if this is a bad idea, she usually keeps her head clearer than this. But it's hard to think straight when his mouth traces a path down her jaw and onto her neck, his breath hot against her skin. Her head tilts to let him move closer, a hand slipping to the back of his neck, her mind a blur of excitement and something much stronger than want. Every ounce of desire slips into something that feels closer to need. Ines casts a brief glance at the entrance of the tent, a moment's hesitation. But the pull to Jakob is stronger, and with a smirk against his mouth, she runs her fingers through his hair, her teeth catching gently across his lower lip.

If she's going to enjoy a bad idea, she may as well make sure it's worth it. The rebellious thought ignites as her hips roll, still gentle. "I want you to fuck me, right here." she mumbles into the kiss, tugging at his lip, this time firmer as her nails dig into his shirt, trailing a light scratch over his shoulder.

Jakob is used to burning. He's been on fire since he was thirteen, feeling heat course through his veins, feeling it light his fingertips. He's used to burning but this is something else entirely. The moment his mouth captures hers, Jakob is lost. Her lips are soft, pliant against his and his thoughts blank anything that's not her. It blanks the tent. The fact he'd come here to practice. The fact they didn't know each other. He shoves every reason this is a bad idea behind a door and locks it, throwing away the key.

He deepens their kiss and mumbles against her lips softly, like he doesn't want her to hear but still needs to say it. "I can stop." Because this is madness. Yet, Jakob finds himself unable to spare a single flying fuck as her hand runs over his arms and shoulders. Her small breath, her barely uttered swear, is all the permission Jakob needs before he's lavishing her mouth with hungry, heady kisses. His tongue teases the seam of her lips, urging her to open and when she does, Jakob can't help the slight noise that escapes him as their tongues dance together. He tastes her mouth, he swallows her sighs. He doesn't know what's happening, all he knows is he doesn't want it to stop.

He shifts his hand from her neck to her jaw and then twines his fingers in her hair as his other hand runs down her side. There's a hunger in each motion. In the way they devour each other's kisses. The need to feel. To be consumed by something. Jakob feels like he's on fire all over again and there's a part of him that's tempted to check that he's not. That this is all Ines. It hardly feels like he's kissing a stranger. No. It feels like she belongs in his arms, her mouth molded to his as his hands grip her thigh, drawing her leg up.

Lust fuels each touch as he mumbles against her mouth once more. One final time. One last chance to stop this runaway train. "Tell me to stop." The words are a desperate whisper, but she answers with fervent kisses that chase away doubts and hesitations. Jakob drags his mouth from her lips, peppering hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, lingering on the space beneath her ear before trailing to her neck. Jakob thought he was used to burning but never like this. This is unlike anything he's experienced. No, this is a completely consuming fire he has no control over.

[rviner]

Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction Forgive our sins Forged at the pulpit with forked tongues, selling faux sermons 'Cause I am a new wave gospel sharp And you'll be thy witness So gentlemen, if you're gonna preach For God sakes, preach with conviction Just stay where I can see you Douse the lights We sure are in for a show tonight

[rviner]

The playfulness between them catches Ines off guard, but not in a way that makes her back away. It's almost too easy, the way Jakob nudges her foot, the mischievous spark in his eyes when he grins at her. She can't hold back a chuckle. "I do want you to, yeah." she says, her smile stretching wide before slipping away as his gaze shifts, lingering in a way that feels more deliberate. Jakob's eyes roam over her, scanning her from head to toe, and a flicker of vulnerability rises in her chest, a slight urge to pull back. But the thrill, the sheer excitement, is quick to replace any other thought.  

Her pulse picks up, her breath tight. What is it about him that pulls this out of her? This immediate, visceral reaction, like her mind is trying to catch up to her body, which already knows what it wants. There's a flash of doubt, a thought that she should feel a touch of shame for getting this caught up so fast, but there's no shame to be found. Just the sense that they're here, alone, and Ines knows exactly what she wants. Especially when Jakob's voice drops, low, a sound she feels more than hears as his fingers flex against her neck. A slight sigh escapes her, and she can't help the way a small grin flickers over her lips.

"I'm sure I'm gonna like how you make it up to me." Ines murmurs, her voice breathy but confident as she leans toward him, something that feels instinctual now. Her eyes flick to his lips, a heartbeat before his mouth is on hers, hot, insistent, claiming her, and holy fuck, he's a good kisser. Ines's hands find their way to his arms, fingers trailing along the hard muscle with a hum in her throat, tracing the line up to his shoulders as her mouth opens to his, inviting him deeper. Her thoughts blur from the rush of his touch as he lowers her back against the mat. The excitement swells, quick and consuming, and she tightens her hold on his shoulders, pulling him close, an unspoken demand to keep him there, close against her.

Ines only breaks the kiss once, just long enough to catch her breath and study his face, a soft, breathy laugh slipping from her lips. It's exhilarating and strange, how easily she's been swept into this, her thoughts scattering and quickly. Her mouth parts, ready to speak but Ines blinks. The only thing that leaves her is a small, almost inaudible "Fuck." before her mouth is on his again, fiercer, as if they've both stumbled into something that's spiraling fast. Her hands shift, one slipping up to his face, fingers brushing over his sharp jaw, feeling the rough line of it beneath her touch. The excitement merges with urgency and Ines meets it there, tasting his tongue, matching the sudden spark of lust she can't seem to control.

Jakob grins and raises his brow when she moves his hand. "I find that hard to believe, see?" he knocks his foot against her raised one, amusement tugging at his lips and present in his eyes. A brightness that isn't always there lingers, focused on Ines and the way the lantern above illuminates her face in the otherwise dark tent. He's certain her eyes must have gold flecks, or maybe he's just seeing stars looking at them so intently. "If you want." He speaks lowly, testing the waters as the atmosphere shifts. Jakob lets her lead them there, something igniting in him, mirroring the tilt of her head, green gaze focused on hers.

"Well, you're a natural. Guess cats land on their feet. Even if they don't stay there for long." He grins and casts a careful eye over her, inspecting her from head to toe for any injury. Even when he can safely say she's unharmed, he lingers. Especially when her tone shifts.

He doesn't look away, eyes darkening and going to her mouth when she points before trailing his hands down to her neck. His gaze flicks from her neck to her lips and back to her eyes, reading the intention there. Too obvious to be mistaken for anything else. He feels his heart stutter and beat again, faster this time, and he keeps his hand on her neck, flexing his fingers carefully. Not so hard to hurt, but enough that she'll feel his digits pressed against her throat.

"You should know something about me, Ines." His voice comes thick with want than he intends, an obvious desire in it as he caresses the skin of her neck, shifting forward ever so slightly. "I don't like owing anyone anything." Jakob closes the distance between them, pressing his lips to hers. His hand slips from her neck to her jaw, fingers splayed against her soft skin as his other winds around her frame, lowering her back into the mat so he's hovering over her.