#Trans widows

[fairymischief]

Sometimes it strikes me as wild that there are trans widows whose husband's actually said to themselves, "I choose my kink over my marriage and family."

But it's not like this hasn't always been happening in other ways. There's really no difference between this and a man who leaves his wife of 30 years to be with a woman who is young enough to be his daughter. Or who risk their entire lives falling apart by having an affair of any kind, or by visiting with prostitutes.

"I choose my sexual impulses over anything in my life that has real substance, and I'm willing to risk EVERYTHING for this cheap thrill" is a thing men have been doing forever. It ain't nothing new!

[voyageroftheastralseas]

Great documentary by Vaishnavi Sundar who made the documentary of “Dysphoric”

[coochiequeens]

There's an important movie for gc women to support premiering tomorrow

[witches-come]

Was watching a random trans widow* video and in the first minute she says she doesn't go to parties anymore.

Terfs are never beating the loner allegations.

*trans widows are not trans women who had husbands die. They are a cis straight / bi woman whose spouse came out as a trans woman and they separated because of that. Not just in a "Hey I'm straight therefore we'll need to separate." Way. They are unaccepting to trans people in general.

[forrestgumm]

imagine marrying a man and having children with him just for him to come out as trans. I'd shoot him if it were me xx

[butchciri]

(saw ur tags on the transwidow ask post, i'm the ask op) i was a libfem tra until my partner came out actually, it's what peaked me. always had trans friends growing up (ftms though) stringently believed trans women's identities had nothing to do with fetishes etc... yea. i'm 21 and bisexual so i think i fit into the younger, groomed into believing the ideology bill! unfortunately my experiences still mirror those of older women, tbh i think the only way it's slightly different is not having any other perspective i guess? as soon as i knew what 'trans' was, the ideology was already being fed to me, so i'd never had another view other than 'this should be celebrated!' i also have only ever been able to speak honestly about my experiences with people aged 35-70, which is quite alienating since my peers are all tra if not trans, which may be different for older women. i think that's what reinforces the peaking, whether women are my age or 30 or 50 or 70, our femalexmtf relationships and feelings all seem to mirror the same path. it's eery. there is literally a formula.

oh i’m soooo glad you came into my asks, i have been wondering for a long time what the femalexmtf relationship looks like for my demographic. i know you said in your ask that the experiences you outlined are all universal, i just couldn’t help but wonder what isnt. im sure there are nuances we cant see cause the younger women are just so scared to talk. theres one straight girl i know who just broke up with her trans id boyfriend and i can tell she’s terrified to speak honestly on her experience.

but isnt it crazy how being close to these people and observing their behavior is what peaks us? part of what peaked me was my tim roommate and noticing how much they downplay the fetish and objectification of women in general. i had never interacted with one irl before, just tifs irl. being familiar with tims through the positive social media portrayal sets you up to be blindsided by the porn addiction, misogyny, and complete ineptitude/refusal to do housework. older het women who aren’t already groomed will have an outsiders perspective like you said, and tims seem to have more cut out for them when it comes to selling the tra ideology (manipulation.)

it seems like if you already have the same belief system, it opens him up for some more insidious/sneaky forms of manipulation. i dont have any good examples of that its just a hunch. i feel like the trans doctrine gives them so much power through language to obfuscate the truth, which is what abusers do to keep you on the back foot. it gives them grounds to accuse you of transphobia, which might land harder for a younger groomed woman with only tra friends compared to an older non-indoctrinated woman. so i wonder if all the common female x mtf experiences you outlined in your original ask are more easily rationalized/normalized in the ideologically captured minds of women who are reaaaaallly severely manipulated by these men, causing them to stay silent longer.

i also know of a couple women who started dating a tim with knowledge upfront that he’s transitioning, but never interacted with tims outside of social media before that. i wonder if they would also count as trans widows after getting fed up with the disgusting behavior and eventually peaking? i know technically they dont fit the definition, but its still a similar experience. because the grooming starts so young, there are likely thousands of invisible young women with stories the trans movement doesn’t want to hear. thats why beyond the looking glass is such an important piece of media for the solidarity and class consciousness it generates for a group that’s so viciously silenced. and like you said the experiences are so formulaic and similar across cultures and demographics that its like a lightbulb moment to realize you’re not alone, its not just him, its this ideology.

[mikasasrippedtoenail]

The Plight of Indian Widows

A woman's dignity is not her own possession. Her life is at the mercy of men around her. She is a commodity to be owned and sold first by her father then her husband. Her entire existence is tied to her servitude to those around her. After giving so much to the world, there is little life left inside of her. Yet, the world still demands her forfeit of this little life after the death of her husband. In India, a woman was expected to burn herself alive in the holy pyre of her husband's body as a show of loyalty in a practice called Sati that was outlawed in 1929(yet it is still rampant today in many rural parts of India).

With her husband no more, she must have no reason to live.Widowhood is the harbringer of acute discrimination for women in South Asia. Widows are ostracized by society and shunned by their family to live a destitute life in "Vidhwa Ashrams". Even the shadow of a widow was believed to inflict depredation and brought. They are called witches and man-eaters. They are forbidden from wearing anything but white clothes and are expected to practice strict abstinence. Widows in Afghanistan are called besarparast, meaning "household without a head". It is customary for a woman to shave off her head to appear undesirable. Her sexuality is confined, her needs and wants must die alongside her husband. Widow remarriage-although legal- is deeply stigmatized as a grave sin.

Widows are not considered to be a part of society. They can neither celebrate festivals nor travel without a religious purpose. In some extreme cases, they are made to drink the bathwater of their husbands’ dead bodies and have unprotected sex to "cleanse themselves of the sin of causing their husbands" death. Young widows also fall prey to the leering eyes of men. Child brides especially are prone to fall victim to manipulation by people around them. Men consider that since marriage has taken away her "innocence", she can now be sexually exploited.

Barring a few states, married women cannot inherit their husband's property. This lack of financial stability is the root cause of their exploitation. Most husbands leave their wives penniless. What little savings he might have had are spent on funeral rites. Relatives do not want to support her financially, considering her children and herself as excess baggage. Her parents also close the doors on her face for it is often said - "only a woman's dead body should come out of her husband's house."

This new found vulnerability makes her an easy prey for prostitution. A primary form of survival for widows is to sell their body through pimps. However, in most ashrams, they are forced to perform sexual favours by the heads of the ashram to gain money. The heads use their political power to silence the widows from raising their voice against this rape. With nowhere else to go, this cycle continues. The widows who get pregnant from this rape are "mauled by quacks for a painfully searing abortion and If that’s not done, then they would have an extra mouth to feed and an extra pair of hands to beg."

As of today, India is the abode of 42 million widows-a social class that is woefully exploited. Widows are often forced to dedicate the remaining parts of their lives to their religion. They must have no desires or wants except singing the God's praise. Widowhood for most women marks the death of their happines and social life. Although with changing times the attitude towards widows is turning positive, it is the bitter truth that the condition of widows from orthodox regions live a terrible life.

Laws protecting women are scarce- let alone widows. In India, widows are considered to be the class 1 heirs of ancestral properties. However, most of them are uneducated and unaware of the laws surrounding them. They are easily manipulated by relatives to give up their rights to the property. As for self acquired property, most men do not mention the name of their wives in their wills. After 2005, women alive on december, 2005 have a right over their father's ancestral property alongside their brothers. One must not forget that women inheriting property is still not socially acceptable in India and women who recieve property are few and far between.

To uplift widows, one must make them aware of the rights around them. Government and local NGOs should work together to organize awareness campaigns on the rights of widows. Women without capital left behind by their husbands should get a monthly stipend. "Vidhwa Ashrams" should be heavily regulated. More so, the social stigma shrouding widows must be removed. Treatment of women belonging to marginalized communities are a reflection of how dire the situation of women's rights are in India. Opening women owned women only shelters is the prime solution for the upliftment of women.

[samwinjester]

What if Team Free Will were the Avengers?

[hauntingmesostunningly]

marvel headcanons

weirdly specific headcanons for my favorite characters,

some traits may not align with canon or popular fan opinions. these are just my opinions, to each their own !!

!! TW: s/h , ptsd , disability , neurodivergence , anxiety , depression , alcohol

Gwen Stacy :

lesbian + non-binary

she/they

has a secret spider-girlfriend

obsessed with pop-tarts and tries them in every universe

spends her free time at the animal shelter petting dogs, the workers from many universes know her since they come by so often, and they always welcome her.

won’t admit it but secretly wants to be an english teacher when she grows up

Peter Parker :

trans ftm + bisexual

he/him

his parents are rich lawyers who travel a lot, so he’s always lived with his Aunt, May. doesn’t have contact with his birth parents

has social anxiety and a severe anxiety disorder

has a soft spot for dalmations

in the process of filing for a psychiatric service dog for his panic attacks

has adhd

Wanda Maximoff :

bisexual with a female preference

has a wife !!!

massive swiftie

has two twins and an adopted daughter

disability mom, billy has angelman syndrome and tommy has autism and epilepsy

in therapy to work on her trauma trigger responses ie. controllingness

has suffered with severe depression

loves loves loves dogs (has two goldendoodles, snowflake and rocky)

Yelena Belova :

queer woman

convert jew, found herself in the religion and found a community through a support group for, and run by, woman in her synagogue.

absolutely in love with Kate Bishop

very protective over kate and shows her off to everyone

has a ptsd service dog named sasha, who helps with her flashbacks

has struggled with s/h, but is in therapy and getting better

has a very sexual relationship with kate and everyone in the compound steers clear of the hallway where kate and yelena’s rooms are

Kate Bishop :

pansexual + demigirl

madly in love with Yelena Belova

super innocent but would do unholy things for her girlfriend

hates all dogs. except her dog, pizza-dog-lucky. lucky is different.

slight mommy issues

bottom asf , and a massive brat

super snarky but easily gets her feelings hurt

was homeschooled her whole life, and she never lost that childish energy

thinks her girlfriend’s protectiveness is cute, but loves to push against it to see yelena get all hot and bothered

always spends the holiday season with clint’s family (partially bec she loves them and partially to save on heating bills in the colder months)

spam posts every detail of her life on insta stories + makes mini-vlog reels 24/7

Natasha Romanoff :

demiromantic + unlabeled

hates labels, she likes who she likes end of story.

has a massive soft spot for cats, and has 3 of her own, Tumeric, Spots, and Dart.

has a massive unrequited crush on wanda

she’s labeled as the “bed-hopper” by her friends for her string of serial hookups after she left the redroom, but she wants nothing more than to settle down with a wife and even more cats.

top

big mommy issues and that usually comes across in her relationships, as she seeks out (sometimes older) people with nurturing qualities.

battled alcoholism during the dark days in the blip from losing her sister, but she has an amazing therapist and is now sober

Kamala Khan :

bisexual

she/they

really into tarot

best friends with America Chaves and has a small gay crush on her

constantly gets in trouble with teachers for being too loud and talking in class

has inattentive adhd and always forgets to take her meds

has a very popular carol danvers x fem reader fanfic on A03 that she hides from her parents but she always neglects her homework to make sure she updates regularly for her readers

loves tacos

has sensory issues and gets sensory overload breakdowns due to sound and this can trigger her powers to go haywire while she’s overstimulated

her family puts a lot of pressure on marriage but she just wants to live in a house with america and spend the rest of their lives together reading fanfic and rewatching avengers movies

she kissed america once and they never talked about it again, though they both have hinted at wanting to do it again.

[coochiequeens]

This guy is a closeted TIM and not only did he get married but he's trying to have a baby with her.

I hope it's fake but the "me me me" while not even mentioning how infertility is impacting his wife reeks of the narcissism rampant in TIMs. And the bit about to him being a woman is about playing dress up and using the women's bathroom.

In the meantime she's wasting time in her fertile years with this guy. And probably getting bombarded with inquiries and "helpful tips" from friends and family.

[glowingmushroom0]

Top Ten TBR for August

1. The Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao (currently reading)

Back in December, I was re-watching a bunch of Zhao’s videos on YouTube and in one of them she was promoting her novel Iron Widow. While I’ve never been too into mecha-novels in sci-fi, I decided to give this one a try! I’ve been finding the mechanics of the mechs really interesting, and I find Zetian a very engaging character. It also helps that Zhao explains some of the history of the real-life Wu Zetian in two of her YouTube videos. I still haven’t finished the book, but I am pretty close to finishing it.

2. Epithet Erased: Prison of Plastic by Brendan Blaber (currently re-reading)

This novel is a part of the Epithet Erased series on JelloApocalypse’s YouTube channel, which also includes several trailers for this novel and a part of chapter 1 of the novel’s audiobook. I remember seeing the original show on YouTube when it was coming out and it’s a really fun series! This part of the novel focuses on the story of Molly Blyndeff, a twelve-year-old with an epithet, a power that depends on whatever word the epithet is based off of. The story focuses on Molly’s relationship with her older sister Lorelai, and how her friends support her and try to help her as she tries to stop her sister from expanding her dream world within their family’s toy store. I’m actually listening to the audiobook while writing this post! I really recommend the audiobook version of this novel, the voice actors did an excellent job!

3. Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily Austen

I actually was recommended this book a couple of years ago by an aunt and a cousin of mine. I had gone to a Catholic school and they both knew I was pan (I still haven’t come out to them as agender though, but that’s because I don’t see or talk to them very often). However, what actually convinced me to try the book was an old friend group that started a book club, and this was their first book. I still haven’t read it because I didn’t end up making it to the meetings, but I am interested in reading it.

4. The Henna Wars by Adiba Jaigirdar

This novel I was interested in more from the author than the subject matter, but that doesn’t mean I’m not interested at all. I first read Jaigirdar’s Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating and really enjoyed it, so I wanted to read more of her works! That’s when I learned that this was her debut novel, and I wanted to compare the two. Plus, I will always find some joy from learning about different art forms through writing in novels. The most I know about henna so far is from a friend of mine who had another friend who wanted to practice henna on them. Because of that, I’d like to learn more about how Jaigirdar depicts henna artists.

5. A Queer Dharma: Yoga and Meditations for Liberation by Jacoby Ballard

I actually found this book at a book exchange that was at an LGBTQ+ friendly event. My friend and I are both interested in this book because we’re both into learning about different kinds of religion and how to express different kinds of spirituality. From what I’ve looked over with the book it talks about how queer people create their own spaces within Buddhism and yoga.

6. So This is Ever After by F. T. Lukens

I’ll go more in-depth with this particular choice in the next book, however the main reasons why I was interested in this novel is because I had already gotten a book from this author that I was pretty interested in. And after looking through another book of Lukens’s (or Lukens’), they also seemed to be really interested in fantasy, especially magic. I also thought it was an interesting idea that the story takes place after the typical “ever after” of defeating an evil king.

7. In Deeper Waters by F. T. Lukens

Now this is the novel that I originally found F.T. Lukens from, and the main reason why I was interested in reading this novel is because I love pirates. I also found myself hooked from just the summary of the novel. When people say a character is mysterious, I don’t really know if they’re going to be mysterious until they appear in the story. However, the summary does show how mysterious Athlen can be, considering he’s introduced as a prisoner on a burning ship. So, I’m interested in learning more about Athlen just from the summary.

8. Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

This novel has a bit more controversial reason for why I want to read it. I originally got this book because it was popular, and I was vaguely interested, but then I started hearing about debates on whether this is good MLM (men-loving-men, not multi-level-marketing) representation. However, I then had another friend that’s a part of the queer community that read the book and he liked it. So I wanted to read the book to figure out my own opinion on the novel. Plus I thought it would be a good time to read it since the novel’s getting it’s own show soon. 

9. Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Trans (But Were Afraid to Ask) by Brynn Tannehill

This book is less for me and more for family reasons. I’m not going to go into too much detail for privacy reasons, but a lot of my family still don’t quite understand much about what it exactly means to be transgender, especially not someone who’s under the non-binary umbrella. So I wanted to read this book and see if it’d be a good fit for some of my family members who do read.

10. Video Game Storytelling: What Every Developer Needs to Know about Narrative Techniques by Evan Skolnick

This book is more for my own learning and future career. My specific dream job is to create a video game story, which would go into scriptwriting. However, most of the creative writing advice and tips I’ve gotten were either for fiction in general, or for short stories and poetry. This book might be able to teach more about scriptwriting, but also how to develop scripts for video games.

[khazadspoon]

Over the past like…. 6 months or so I’ve made a good handful of characters. Each of them has their own backstory and personality, several of them have romantic partners (or several), and I have yet to do anything concrete with them. I’d like to but I’ve not had the time or energy to even consider how they’d all fit together.

Maybe I should work on that this week.

[pickledclowns]

I made this to be like wrow mustache but also my nose???? Massive. My hairline? Goodbye

[oddlydrawnscissors]

tumblr marvel fandom i come asking for help, i need to find a fic.

((this was back before i had an ao3 account and since i did everything in incognito it was lost when i closed the tab.))

im looking for a trans!peter parker fic, his deadname in this fic is Beatrice Parker. Tony is his father figure (im pretty sure Peter lives at the compound) and before Peter comes out he calls him Bea. im pretty sure most of the other avengers are in it, Natasha, Steve, Bucky etc. Loki Tony and May i believe are definitely in it. i unfortunately dont remember the chapter or word count, or when it was published but i remember reading it a couple years ago, pre pandemic i think. also p sure it was completed.

if anybody knows where to find this fic or what happened to it please please let me know!!!

[flagellant]

XIRAN JAY ZHAO PLEASE CONTINUE TO GIVE ME EVERYTHING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WEVE GOT POST-APOCALYPSE SCIFI ESOTERIC MECHANICAL FANTASY WEVE GOT WUXIA CULTIVATORS WEVE GOT REIMAGINED HISTORICAL FIGURES OF TRADITIONAL CHINESE CHARACTERS (pun intended a little bit) WE'VE GOT MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX CRITICISMS WE'VE GOT INDITEMENTS AGAINST SEXISM AND CLASSISM AS MEANS TO CONTROL A POPULACE

AND WE GET BOYS AND GIRLS WHO ALSO LIKE BOYS AND GIRLS????????

[mochiiknight]

redraw of this

IG | Twitter