#Totally Completely Fine (TV Series)

[dreaming-of-texel]

Totally, Completely Fine (2023)

[yurigoggles]

GOOD FUCKIN TELEVISION!

What freakin great television!!

I’ve re-spawned! Look, I don’t know how much tears a grown ass person has to cry to get Bitch status, but this week alone I am 100% sure that I have tripled the cap for said status! Seriously, I haven’t cried this much with happiness for years!!! What freakin great television!! I am also 100% sure that there’s going to be a lot of naysayers about this ship but I give zero fucks! If you came…

[stuff-i-watched]

Totally Completely Fine (season 1) / 2023 — IMDb, TMDb

[pedrospatch]

strawberry

Daddy Dom! Joel Miller x Sub! Female Reader

summary: You feel ashamed for using your safe word with Joel during a session—he assures you you’re his good girl no matter what.

warnings/tags: 18+ only, MINORS DNI. (TW) daddy kink, lots of dd/lg lifestyle elements, reader is collared (day collar) age gap that is self indulgent, reader is mid to late 20’s and Joel is in his 50’s but tweak that to your imaginations if you like. SMUT; p in v sex, rough sex (that reader asks to try), spanking, possible overstimulation (if you squint??) Joel basically fucks reader too much and too hard. USE OF SAFE WORD. aftercare and lots of fluff, references to a pop culture film that i haven’t seen in forever but it’s fine. PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF TAGS AND WARNINGS. if this isn’t your thing, no worries just scroll on by.

MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, READER HAS NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION.

word count: 2.4k

a/n: this is totally self indulgent, all for me as someone who has dabbled in the lifestyle before. if this is not your thing, no problem at all but kindly keep any negative comments to yourself. huge shoutout to the lovely @swiftispunk for inspiring this with the snippets of her own upcoming series that i am oh so excited for, darling han thank you for not only inspiring this, but for listening to me talk about it and encouraging it! and also to sweet mya @cavillscurls because truth be told her own fic brought back so many memories of a time in my life where i was genuinely so happy, in love, and felt safe with a partner. okay, i am gonna run away to the gym now to listen to 1989 tv (again) and pretend posting this is not nerve wracking as hell.

He’s fucked you plenty of times before.

But never like this. No, never, ever like this.

He’s relentless.

His thrusts are coming quicker, sloppier, harsher.

It doesn’t hurt, but it’s intense. Too intense.

Joel Miller is truly testing your limits tonight.

No, he was pushing you past your limits.

Because that’s what you’d asked him to do.

“Alright, sweet girl. This is the last time I’m gonna ask you before we get started. Are you absolutely, one hundred—no, one thousand percent sure that you wanna try this out tonight?” he had asked you beforehand, skimming the strap of your light pink, lace lingerie with his index finger, his feathery soft touch sending a plesant little chill down the length of your spinal column. Of all the sets you owned, it had to be Joel’s absolute favorite. Normally, it was him who would pick out what you would wear, but tonight he’d decided to let you choose for yourself and oh, you did not disappoint. He fucking adored you in the color pink; loved how sickeningly sweet, precious, and innocent you appeared in the hue as you did the filthiest things to him, with him. When you nodded eagerly in reply to his question, a sigh fell from his lips, the doubt written all over his face as he remarked, “I really don’t think you’re ready. I think we should wait just a little a while longer.”

“I’m ready,” you’d insisted, stubbornly. “I promise. I wouldn’t be asking for it if I thought I wasn’t. But I am, I promise, promise, promise I am.”

“Daddy knows what’s best for you, sweetheart—”

Fingers curled around his bicep, you’d batted your eyelashes, giving him those eyes that brought him down to his knees for you a lot more often than he cared to admit, those eyes that made Joel feel like he was learning his role all over again, despite over two decades of experience under his belt. He used to pride himself for his ability to stand firm against pouting lips, fluttering lashes, and pleading gazes. And then you come along and suddenly it’s like he is in his thirties again and he’s navigating this kind of dynamic for the first time. Even after a year and a half with you, he’s still trying to figure out how to completely unwrap himself from your little finger.

“Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

Christ, you made things so goddamn difficult.

“You really think you’re gonna be able to handle it? You think you’re gonna be able to handle me when I get real rough with you, baby? Hm?”

Without missing a beat, you replied, “Yes, Daddy. I can handle it. I know I can.”

You had been so certain that you could.

Confident, even. So confident that when he began going over the rules and reminded you to use your safe word if you needed him to stop, you’d giggled and stated, “I’ve never needed to use it before and I don’t plan on using it tonight.”

Oh, how very wrong you had been about it all.

You’d overestimated yourself, and underestimated Joel. Severely.

His hips snap roughly into yours without an ounce of mercy, over and over, again and again. Beads of perspiration start trailing their way down the sides of his face, the tip of his nose. His chest is flushed, red, and also slicked with a thin sheen of sweat.

You’ve already shattered, unraveled, come undone all over his cock several times—every time with his granted permission, of course. Because you knew better than to come without Daddy’s permission.

Your cunt is swollen, sensitive, too sensitive and at a point where it could start aching if he doesn’t let up soon. However, it seems like Joel’s only getting rougher and rougher as he chases another release.

“Joel—Daddy,” you manage to correct yourself at the very last second through a slew of frantic little gasps for air. “Daddy, please! Daddy please—”

His large hand tightens around both of your wrists pinned to the mattress above your head. Surely he must think you’re begging him for more, when the reality is you’re about to start begging him to stop because it’s just too much and you can’t handle it; but there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to stop, the part of you that doesn’t want to disappoint the man who means the whole, entire world to you.

The man you belonged to, the man you loved.

Even through the haze, you try telling yourself that it’s all mind over matter, mind over matter, mind—

“Stop,” you whine, squirming underneath him. “I—can’t take it anymore, Daddy, I can’t take it—!”

Releasing your wrists, Joel pulls himself out of you and you breathe out in relief, until he flips you over onto your stomach without warning. You let out an audibly loud gasp when his hands reach down and take your hips, pulling them up off his bed, putting you on your hands and knees. He brings down one of his hands on your ass in a stinging slap. “That is just too bad, ‘cause Daddy ain’t done with you yet, darlin’ girl. Not even close to bein’ done with you.” Wrapping his other hand around his base, he grins to himself as he glides the head of his cock up and down your slick folds. When it grazes your clit, you jerk forward, away from him, and he tuts, bringing you back to him, his fingers digging into the pillow soft flesh of your hips. “Oh no baby, you ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

“But Daddy, I just can’t—”

You’re cut off by your own cry when you feel Joel’s length stretching your walls all over again. It’s just too much.

And you really, really can’t.

He leans over you and presses his lips to your ear. “You asked for this, didn’tcha? Asked to be fucked like a big girl, huh?” He bucks forward into you, eliciting another strangled cry followed by a string of pathetic whimpers. Bringing his palm down in a second strike, he demands, “Answer me when I’m takin’ to you. You wanted this, said that you could handle Daddy bein’ rough with you, ain’t that right now?”

“Strawberry.” You say the word so quietly, you can hardly hear it over the ringing in your ears.

Joel spanks you for a third time, in the exact same spot—so hard, there was simply no way you would wake up without a mark in the morning. “I need’ya to speak up. You’re such a big girl after all—”

“Strawberry!” You grasp fistfuls of bedsheets and the signal for it all to end tears itself from the back of your throat. “Strawberry, Joel! Strawberry!”

It’s only a millisecond that he freezes, if that.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Joel curses under his breath, pulling out of you. The bed shifts as he climbs off of it and scrambles to pull on his sweatpants before he’s at your side—you’re still on your hands and knees, an unmistakable look of panic on your face. He puts a gentle hand on your back. “Baby, are you alright?”

Your heart is pounding, your breathing labored but you manage a small, tight nod of your head. “I-I’m fine. I just—” Stopping, you grip the sheets tighter, warm tears brimming your eyes. Shame over what you’ve just done is already creeping in and sinking into your bones.

“Are you hurt, sweetheart? Did I hurt you?”

Joel’s voice is calm, but you can hear the concern that laces his tone.

“No.” Your own voice is small. “No. You didn’t hurt me.”

“Is it alright if I move you?” he asks. When you nod your head, he reaches out for you and helps you to sit on the side of the bed. Dropping to his knees in front of you, he takes your hands and his and feels his stomach sink when he realizes they’re ice cold; he begins rubbing them between his own to warm them up. “Baby if I hurt you, you need to tell m—”

“I promise, you didn’t hurt me,” you reassure him, swallowing the thickness rising in the back of your throat. You clock the skepticism in his dark brown eyes and a tear slips out, rolls down your face, and splatters onto your bare thigh. “I’m not lying, Joel. I swear.” Tugging one of your hands out of his, you reach up and instinctively clasp it around the blue sapphire pendant hanging from the delicate, gold chain around your neck—he’d presented you with his birthstone last year, not only as a symbol of his ownership of you, but also as a beautiful reminder of your commitment to one another. “You believe me, don’t you? You believe I’m telling the truth?”

Joel’s expression softens. “‘Course I do, baby.” He cups the side of your face gently, brushing away a second teardrop with his thumb. “But I’d really like to know what happened so I can figure out how to best help, okay? Can you tell me what happened?”

Embarrassed, you try turning your head away, but he holds your cheek in his hand, gentle but firm.

“S’okay. You can talk to me,” he encourages softly, his gaze meeting yours once again. “Tell me.”

“It was just too much,” you mumble, meekly. “And too intense.” Heat floods your face as you admit to him, “You were right. I just wasn’t—I wasn’t ready for that yet.”

In an effort to lighten your mood, Joel lightly gives your cheek a delicate pinch and chuckles.

“Daddy’s got that real annoyin’ habit of bein’ right ‘bout a lot of things, don’t he?”

“I’m sorry.” Your bottom lip quivers. “I’m so sorry.”

His smile falters. “Sorry for what?”

“For using the safe word—”

Joel’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Y’know you ain’t supposed to apologize for needin’ to use your safe word, right? That ain’t how it works, darlin’.”

Dropping your necklace, you place your hand over his on your cheek. “But I feel bad,” you confess. “It makes me feel like—like I let you down, you know? And that’s the last thing I want to do. I just wanted to be really good for you.”

“Oh baby.” Joel lifts himself from the floor. He sits on the bed and pulls you onto his lap, brushing his lips against your temple. “You are such a good girl for me, sweetheart.”

“But I couldn’t take it,” you sniff. “I had to stop.”

“And that’s okay,” he assures you. He wraps you in his arms and gives your body a gentle squeeze. “It ain’t nothin’ to be ashamed ‘bout. You’re still really new to a lot of this stuff, y’know? S’why I told you I didn’t think you were ready.”

“I should’ve listened to you.”

He winks. “You should always listen to Daddy.”

You offer him a tiny, watery smile. “I know.”

“And say we try this again one day and it’s just not somethin’ you like or that makes you feel good—or maybe you never wanna try it again at all,” he says with a nonchalant shrug. “That’s okay too. You are still my good girl no matter what—my perfect girl. Always. You understand me?”

“Really? You promise?”

Joel holds up his pinky.

“Oh, you’re being really serious,” you tease him.

“Sure as hell am, darlin’.”

You lock your finger around his and he pulls you in for a sweet kiss.

“I love you, Joel,” you murmur against his lips. You giggle again when he clears his throat and smacks your ass lightly, playfully. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, baby.” Joel pulls away and touches the tip of his nose to yours. “How’s ‘bout we get in the bath and get all cleaned up? Hm?”

“A bath?” You instantly perk up. “With bubbles?”

“With bubbles. And I’ll even let you throw in one of those smelly ball things you fuckin’ love so much.”

You swat at his chest. “Hey! My bath bombs smell really good, thank you very much!”

Joel doesn’t particularly like emerging from a bath smelling like a petunia, but for you, he’s more than happy to bathe in a sea of them, glitter and all.

You trace his collarbone with your index finger.

“Daddy? After our bath can we just cuddle in bed? Maybe watch a movie?” He raises an eyebrow and you smile sheepishly, adding, “Please?”

“‘Course. Pick any movie you want, sweetheart.”

“And can we have ice cream while we watch too?”

He pins you with a stern look. “Alright, now you’re just pushin’ it and takin’ advantage.”

You jut your lower lip. “Please, Daddy?”

There’s no arguing with that, not tonight.

Joel decides to let you have your way. “Alright.”

The two of you spend quite some time in the bath; normally a bath together ends with him inside you all over again, but tonight, all he’s doing is running a soapy wash cloth with your favorite shower gel—japanese cherry blossom—all over your body as he sits behind you, lips pressed against your ear. Joel washes you slowly, carefully, and all the while he’s whispering sweet, tender praise.

My good girl.

My perfect girl.

I’m s’proud of you.

I’m the luckiest man in the whole world.

After the bath, once you’re both dried and dressed in comfortable clothes—him in a clean pair of gray sweatpants and you in nothing but his t-shirt, Joel gives you the remote and instructs you to pick out a movie to watch.

“Make yourself real comfortable, baby,” he says to you, kissing the top of your head. “I’ll be back with that ice cream.”

You shoot him a hopeful glance. “Strawberry?”

“You tryin’ to be funny with me, darlin’?”

“No! That’s just my favorite flavor, silly.”

Joel grins to himself as he leaves the bedroom.

He knows that. Of course he knows that.

It’s why he always keeps a pint of it in his freezer.

You hop into bed and pull the blankets around you as your scan through the guide for a movie—you’d just decided on The Notebook when Joel appears again, a bowl and two spoons in his hands.

“You picked The Notebook again, didn’t you?” he asks without even looking at the flat screen that’s mounted on his wall over the fireplace.

“You said I could pick any movie I wanted.”

“Was just hopin’ you’d pick one we haven’t seen a thousand times,” he chuckled, sliding into his bed next to you. Joel places the bowl of strawberry ice cream in his lap and hands you a spoon. “C’mere, my sweet girl. Come closer.”

You snuggle up to him, and the two of you dig into the frozen dessert as the movie begins to play.

“Baby?” Joel speaks after a while, just as Allie and Noah share a passionate kiss in the pouring rain.

“Hm?” you ask, your fixed eyes on the flat screen, your mouth full of ice cream.

“You sure you’re okay?”

Swallowing, you look up at Joel, meeting his gaze.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you answer honestly.

“‘Cause if there’s anythin’ else I can do for you…”

You purse your lips together and let out a tiny hum as you mull it over for a moment.

“You can hold me closer?” you finally suggest.

Joel shifts in his spot. “I can definitely do that—”

You stop him and point to the empty bowl.

“After you go and get us some more ice cream?”

He exhales an amused snort through his nose and shuffles out of bed, taking the bowl with him.

“Don’t get so used to bossin’ Daddy around,” Joel warns you playfully over his shoulder.

“Too late.”

divider credit to @saradika 🍓

[yumeka-sxf]

Thoughts on Spy x Family CODE: White

My thoughts on CODE: White will likely be different from most people since I knew pretty much the entire plot beforehand. I'm a spoiler fiend when it comes to my hyperfixations like SxF, so I read the novelization of the movie back in January and kept up on all the promotional videos and images that were released. But when it was finally time to see the movie for myself, did that ruin my enjoyment? Not at all. For me, it actually made me enjoy it more because 1) I knew what to expect so I wasn't disappointed, and 2) I found myself looking forward to seeing all the scenes I only read about or saw short clips of.

With that said, yes, I enjoyed the movie so much! If you're a Spy x Family fan, or even just a casual enjoyer of the series, it's a ton of fun. It has all the elements we love about the series: clever humor, sweet family moments, and spy action/drama. And because it's a movie, we get to see all of this with a movie animation budget instead of a TV series budget, which is another plus!

One thing to keep in mind with these original, stand-alone anime films based on series is that they're meant for a more general crowd than just fans of the series. Since theaters attract a wider audience than late-night TV and online manga chapters, movies like this serve as a means to introduce the series to people who may only have a vague idea of what it's about. That's why these movies contain a storyline that can fit mostly anywhere in the series chronology and don't have anything canon-altering.

CODE: White is an interesting mix of plots that, for the most part, blend together well. There's the main plot that continues throughout, which is saving Operation Strix by having Anya learn how to make the meremere for the cooking contest, but then there's the Yor jealousy plot B which is resolved in the first half, but is then replaced by the next "plot B" in the latter half of the movie, which is saving Anya from the military.

A lot of people didn't like the "Yor gets jealous" subplot when it was first revealed before the movie even came out, since it seemed to be a rehash of her being jealous about Fiona. I personally didn't have a problem with this since I don't think it's unreasonable for her to get jealous a second time, especially when she thinks she sees Loid doing something extreme like kissing another woman (as opposed to just talking). But the way it was resolved could have been a bit better in my opinion. The ferris wheel scene in the movie very much mirrored the bar scene from the series, but the reason the latter is so effective is because we get to hear Loid's inner thoughts during it; we know he's going full Twilight-mode and isn't being sincere, and that's why Yor kicks him. But then at the park, he talks to her much more genuinely and they work things out. But in the ferris wheel scene, we don't get to hear his inner thoughts so we don't get any indication as to whether his repeating of the marriage vows, etc, is him being sincere or not. Then she smacks him, they insist they aren't fighting when Anya brings it up, and that's the end of it.

I do like the fact that Anya reads their minds and seems happy with what she "hears" in their heads, but I still think the subplot would have felt more complete if it ended after Yor realized her mistake rather than have Loid do the ambiguous Romeo act again. Or it could have been brought up one more time later in the movie, for example, Yor apologizes for hitting him, he talks to her more sincerely, etc. If you're gonna rehash the bar scene, at least rehash the scene that brought it closure, which is the park bench scene. Again, I'm totally fine with the jealously subplot overall, just thought it could have been wrapped up a bit better.

Other than that, there were just a few little issues I had, like how was Anya able to afford what was probably an expensive liquor? (was she really packing that much dough in her little bag? She went straight from the bedroom out the window so it's not like she "borrowed" any money from Loid). Also seemed weird that she didn't pick up on Yor's infidelity worries until last minute. A few things stretched the line of believability a bit far too, like Loid's ability to make perfect masks so quickly, and Anya just happening to hit her head on the button that conveniently opened all the windows on the bridge. Also something here and there that didn't align with the manga, like Yor not having any reaction to sharing a room with Loid, whereas she has a totally different reaction to this in chapter 94. Maybe a bit more resolution for the fates of the villains too. I guess Luca and Dmitri survived the crash, but what about Snidel? Did Loid actually kill him or just knock him out? And if it's the latter, Snidel seems like the type who would want to get revenge. A quick cameo of what happened to them in the end would have been nice.

Speaking of the villains, normally I wouldn't like the fact that they're pretty one-dimensional and not that interesting, but for a movie like this where most people just want to see the Forgers being themselves in fun and exciting scenarios, taking time away from that to make more developed villains who likely won't be seen again in the franchise, would have not been the best choice, lol.

But even though I had some criticisms of the movie, all of them are minor and not enough to overshadow everything else that was enjoyable about it. Besides all the humor, of which there was plenty, there were so many cute "awww" family moments that perhaps didn't lend anything to the plot, but were still important to establish the characters and their relationships, and thus make us care about what happens to them. Like the scene of Anya, Yor, and Bond playing at the hotel...it could have been skipped without anything seeming out of place, but it reveals so much about the characters without being blatant about it: how Yor wants to please Anya despite being a bit embarrassed at first to take part in her game, and then how Anya's eyes light up with happiness when Yor starts playing with her...for a series like SxF that's character-driven rather than plot-driven, scenes like this are so important and I'm glad the film creators realized this too!

There were also so many cute, subtle scenes as well, like when Loid and Yor smile at each other after chiding Anya, as if they're happy to share this moment of exhausting yet satisfying parenting; when Anya reads Loid's mind after he saves her but doesn't reveal what he's actually thinking yet we can imagine what it is based on her expression; Loid showing feelings of comradery with the restaurant owner because their pasts are so similar; Anya quietly and sadly hugging Bond in the bedroom; and in the ferris wheel after Yor feels so embarrassed about misunderstanding what happened with Loid and the woman but then can't help but smile with motherly love when she sees Anya waving at her...the movie is filled with moments like this that are like little love letters to fans who know the true heart of SxF isn't so much the action and spy drama as it is the family relationships.

And of course, as I mentioned before, the animation of the movie is fantastic! Not just the action scenes, which are great by the way, especially Yor's fight with Type F, but the character expressions as well. Anya's always had the most varied and hilarious faces of all the characters, but the movie goes even harder with her expressions, especially when she has to hold in her stool! Her faces were making me both cringe and laugh at the same time! The animators did such a good job making me feel sorry for her but also laugh at her.

I'm not a fan of potty humor, but I was confident SxF would make it funny, and I was right! The poop god sequence in particular was as equally cringe as it was hilarious!

To conclude, CODE: White is a must-see for anyone who likes or loves Spy x Family. I can't say it's a cinematic masterpiece or anything, but for what it's supposed to be - a fun and enjoyable film for those who like the series, it definitely delivers! Can't wait to see it at least two more times during its showing in the US...and more times in the future!

[thewertsearch]

AG: If any of my friends knew that, they would think I'm weak. […] EB: i guess i understand. i mean, i'm trying to, with the cultural difference and all. […] EB: like, trolls are more violent and angry, right? kind of like klingons or something, which is an angry race of alien savages from a human tv show. AG: We aren't savages, you dope!

Well, she's not wrong. Alternia was an empire, which is far worse than the 'savage' culture that John is imagining. Its violence wasn't wild - it was organized, and channeled into atrocities across the galaxy.

It's kind of funny that John's comparing them to the Klingons, actually. The only Star Trek series I've watched is The Next Generation, where they've allied with the Federation, and - as far as I can tell - stopped conquering planets entirely.

In other words, Alternia is a lot more violent than the Klingons I know.

EB: but i think that no matter what alien culture you are from, killing is still wrong! […] AG: This is where our cultures clash, I think. AG: It would 8e difficult to explain exactly how killing is viewed on our planet with all the nuance involved. AG: It just isn't the 8lack and white thing humans seem to think it is!

I'm sure Vriska has a million reasons why the life she's been forced into was totally fine. She needed those justifications in order to live with herself, but that doesn't make them valid...

AG: On my world, I would 8e completely vindic8ed for killing him! He is far lower on the hemospectrum than me. He managed to disrespect me time and time again, 8ut I kept letting him live! [...]

...and she's immediately proving my point.

I mean, the first justification she can think of is that bluebloods should be allowed to murder 'lesser' trolls, if disrespected. I'm sure her other 'nuanced' reasons to kill are similarly compelling.

AG: This was sort of like a test, and I'm afraid I might 8e failing.

Are you sure?

For the first time ever, you're actually considering the possibility that killing is wrong, and there are plenty of trolls who never even made it that far.

You're passing a test here.

AG: […] it was the first time I killed some8ody I cared a8out. EB: so… EB: you killed other people, that you didn't care about? AG: Yes. Sort of a lot, actually. […] EB: hm. how many? […] AG: Oh, it doesn't matter. Pro8a8ly many thousands. […] AG: God, I know how this sounds! 8ut I had to feed her. My lusus I mean. I've 8asically 8een playing this role as a slave in the food chain my whole life. […]

Yeah, you were coerced into those murders. Your FLARP killings were necessary for survival, and Doc Scratch manipulated you into killing your friends.

Tavros, however, was different. You have no lusus to feed on the Veil, and Scratch seems to have stopped whispering in your ear. Tavros was absolutely no threat to you - but for the first time ever, and without any external pressure, you chose to kill.

Are you proud of yourself?

[disneyprincemuke]

maybe it’s in the name * fem!driver

(series masterlist) | (📂 a day in the life)

“oh, hold the front door,” she holds the phone up to her head, walking towards logan from her bedroom, who’s sitting on the couch with stubby in his lap.

logan pauses the show he’d put on the tv and watches carefully as she approaches him, hunched over with a wide smile on her face. he slowly inches away as she slowly gets closer with a hand held out, totally weirded out by her behaviour.

“wait, there’s no way!” she shrieks, jumping on the empty spot on the couch. she grabs logan’s shoulder and looks at him, swaying her hips while he maintains his puzzled stare. “but i thought you said the main league is just a bunch of guys?”

“what is going on?” logan whispers, waving a hand to her face to get her attention. “is that blythe on the phone with you?”

she nods, stepping away from the couch again. “oh, that must just be in our blood, then! that’s amazing, blythe! yes!” she hops on the spot, clapping her hands. “yes, i will see you for dinner tonight. my treat.”

she finally puts the phone down, whirling to logan with the giddiest grin on her face. “you’ll never believe what blythe just called to tell me.”

logan shrugs. “what is it? isn’t it roster mania for her too? any updates?”

“she got picked up by a team partnered with riot,” she says, trying to contain her excitement. “she’s the first woman in the partnership league! she’s playing with the big boys! in 2024 for the new season, but you get what i mean.”

“oh, my god! that’s amazing!” logan jumps up, meeting her in the middle of their living room. “that’s crazy! that’s… actually very cool. and coincidental. did you guys plan this?”

“it is, right? now we’ve just got to get ciara to be the first woman in something of a man’s sport so we can complete the holy trinity,” she thinks out loud, a fingertip tapping her lips in curiousity. “what do you reckon that could be?”

“hey, ciara’s doing fine on her own,” logan waves her off. “but, oh my god! blythe! that’s amazing!”

her palm lands on his shoulder firmly. she pushes him towards his room. “come on! go take a shower and get dressed! we’re taking blythe out to dinner! i’m going to call oscar and lily to join us!”

“we need to get her something! we can’t show up empty handed on a super important day for her,” logan scoffs. “i’ve got an idea.”

“logan, we’re not getting the girl a new car just because she landed the gig in a top esports team.”

“she’s been asking for a car since she was 16!”

“no.”

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[technofantasia]

The thing about Josuke is that, since the age of four, he's had 24/7 access to a secret superpower that lets him instantly and completely fix anything that goes wrong in his life. Anything that breaks, anyone that gets hurt, anything that happens and has a negative result can be immediately rewound and brushed off as if it never happened with nobody ever the wiser; after all, it's not like anyone he's met can even SEE his stand, let alone realize he's using it to do anything. Even if he does it while someone else is present, would they really believe that Josuke has some sort of healing superpower over the idea that they were just wrong about the thing having been broken in the first place? Probably not.

What kind of effect would that power have on a developing kid?

Imagine that he's playing a video game and he's getting really frustrated because he keeps dying in the same place over and over. If that happened to you, what would you do? Maybe gear up to chuck the controller into the TV? But, wait, you can't do that! If you did, it might be satisfying for a second, but then you'd have to deal with the fallout of a broken TV and an angry parent. Not worth it. Josuke, on the other hand? If HE totally destroyed the TV, he could have that momentary satisfaction of letting the frustration out, then just quickly fix the TV and get back to the grind. No harm, no foul, no bits of glass to sweep out of the carpet or mother tearing her hair out in upset. Of COURSE he'd do it. Why wouldn't he?

Imagine that he forgets his locker combination, because oops head too full of teenage miscellany. Would he go through the effort of fumbling around to find whichever pocket he shoved the slip of paper with his combination in to open it while he's already late to class? Or would he just tear the door off its hinges, retrieve his stuff, and shove it back on in two seconds flat? Imagine that he's messing around with some friends trying to climb a huge tree, when one of them falls getting two broken bones and a concussion. Would he call the friend an ambulance and decide climbing tall trees is too dangerous? Or would he just climb down, heal the friend back up, say something to the effect of "oh wow, good thing you ended up okay!", and continue doing what he was doing safe in the knowledge that his stand could save him or cushion the fall if HE ever slipped? (He may not be able to HEAL himself, but he can certainly protect himself from the same kinds of damage other people get.)

Those are all just hypotheticals, but we do see examples of him doing those kinds of things in the series. He beats up anyone who pisses him off only to instantly heal them afterwards. He tears off Hazamada's locker door to look inside without a second thought. In the wake of his grandpa's murder, he destroys and fixes a ton of furniture in his house. He mentions fixing a friend's broken leg. He DEFINITELY doesn't shy away from anything dangerous, and not just out of general shounen recklessness. When Aqua Necklace hides inside his mother's body, he forgoes any convoluted plan to save her and just punches her through the stomach without hesitation because he knows with 100% certainty, the certainty of lived experience, that she'd be completely fine afterwards, that she wouldn't even notice. He waited to try healing his grandpa when he saw him sprawled across the floor because he didn't have a doubt in his mind that, even if he took his time getting there, as soon as he did he'd be up again like nothing happened. (He was only wrong once.)

The thing about Josuke is that, since the age of four, he's learned that being reckless almost never leads to consequences. He's learned that its okay to make mistakes because pretty much any mistake he makes can be quickly and easily fixed with no lasting damage. He's learned that, as long as he's the one who takes responsibility for something, everything turns out okay for everyone.

We can see all that easily in his personality and the way he acts. He's unbelievably chill, cool-headed and reasonable even in situations where NOBODY would be; stakes are very different for somebody who can effortlessly reverse anything short of death, so of course he doesn't panic at those sorts of things. By contrast, things like "no money" or "waded into leech pool" (or, for a more serious example that comes up in the series, "friend/family is missing") are not as easily fixed and thus are a much bigger deal.

Despite how much it takes to make him full on panic, though, he is far from careful on a regular day. Sure, he may be chill, but all that means is that he'll calmly and deliberately do something insane instead of doing it in a panicked frenzy. We see dozens of examples of Josuke casually thinking his way out of situations by coming up with a crazy reckless solution on the spot that would be a last-ditch measure by anyone else, just because he's so used to thinking with his stand's ability in mind. (While you could maybe argue this applies to most Jojo protagonists, I still think Josuke manages to be one of the most reckless on-the-spot planners in the series while also being one of the most generally well-collected AND having a solidly in-place sense of self preservation, which is still an interesting combination in contrast with the other protagonists.)

It's worth noting, of course, that Josuke DOES have a bit of a (literal) hair-trigger temper, but rages on Josuke are short, concentrated, and in a strange sense, controlled. While he's certainly much less reasonable and more destructive than usual when in rage mode, said destruction never extends past the source of the anger; he feels mad, so he lets it out, handles the situation, and almost instantly falls back to baseline. Like chucking a controller at a TV and fixing it back up. A controlled explosion.

All of this is to say that, even when Josuke does reckless or destructive things, it's not because Josuke himself is a reckless or destructive person; far from it. Josuke's top priority is keeping the peace. Why else would he choose to be so meek towards bullies on the first day of school, even knowing he could wipe the floor with them? Why else would his first reaction to being told he was the result of an affair be to humbly apologize for the trouble his existence caused, instead of any kind of personal confusion or upset? The only reason he acts how he does is because he knows from experience that inserting himself into a situation, striking fast and hard however is appropriate, then fixing up the aftermath, is the most efficient way to solve problems for himself and everyone around him. He's not a pushover. He'll stand up for himself and what's important to him when he needs to. But ultimately he just wants the best for everyone, and since he's been gifted the ability to fix things, to heal, doesn't it make sense to use it?

In that way, Josuke acts as a perfect foil to Kira. Neither of them deny themselves whatever they want, neither of them are used to experiencing consequences for their actions, and both of them just want a peaceful life; the difference is, Kira destroys problems. Josuke fixes them.

An interesting side effect of this mindset is that Josuke ends up taking on responsibility for all sorts of things that are in no way his burdens to bear. We see a number of times throughout the series that he never backs away from a situation he could potentially do something about, to the point of even inserting himself into situations he really doesn't need to. Any time he CAN heal someone, he does; in the Harvest episode, in particular, Josuke heals a number of tiny injuries Okuyasu picked up without comment as soon as he could. It's so ingrained that, during their dice game, Rohan mutilates himself in order to keep Josuke from running away, since he knew Josuke would never leave him like that even though they hate each other. Of course Josuke would consider it his responsibility to heal the hand Rohan messed up himself such that he'd stay in a terrible situation he could easily walk away from just for the opportunity to heal him. It's a no-brainer.

And because Josuke takes on so much extra responsibility, because Josuke is considered by both all his friends and himself to be the multi-purpose get out of jail free card, he takes it that much harder whenever anything seriously goes wrong. There's almost a level of existential disbelief to it. Sure, anybody would be upset when something bad happens, like, say, a family member or friend dying because of your own negligence, but with Josuke... When his grandpa dies, and then paralleled later when Okuyasu gets blown up by Killer Queen, he sounds confused. Like he just experienced something impossible. People can't die around him. It's not even a question. He has a healing superpower! People can't die around someone with a healing superpower, especially not when they're literally a few steps away!! So, then, if it really did happen, what does that say about him? When he gets the call from Koichi during the fight against Sheer Heart Attack, he panics and rushes into action immediately. It's easy to imagine what could have been flashing through his mind.

Because of his stand, the stand he got after a formative experience when he was just a small kid, he always has the unique ability to help. To help himself, to help others. All he has to do is put in the effort, show as much kindness as he can as soon as it's needed, and he can keep everyone happy and healthy. At the end of the day, if he can do something, he will. Every time.

The thing about Josuke is that, since the age of four, he decided that he wanted to be like the person who saved him when he and his mom were stranded in the snow. He saw the way that guy went out of his way to help a total stranger, showing kindness to people who needed it more than he could ever know, taking off his coat in the cold despite his own injuries just because it was the right thing to do, and he thought: "I want to be like that". Through that decision, he received the power to do just that. Over the years, he used that power again and again; for himself, for others, for everyone he could. And eventually, that's exactly the kind of person he grew into.

[aroaceleovaldez]

i am having A Time looking through some old blogs and stuff because I found some Ye Olde Gifsets of the Sea of Monsters movie and. okay. I know it's not fair to compare a movie and a TV show. Howeverrrrr, the PJO TV show allegedly had a HUUUGE budget. Cause it's Disney. (Actually, I did the math - low estimate budget for all of s1 was $96 million USD - allegedly $12-15mil per episode, compared to SoM's $90mil total budget) So why does the Sea of Monsters movie from ten years ago over half the time look better than the show? Like. A lot better.

Like I've complained about the CGI in the show before. Quite a bit. They can't consistently scale Chiron's horse half so he's changing size/proportions in every scene, they can't properly scale the stationary trident floating above Percy's head (you can TELL the asset is elongated improperly like someone stretched it and didn't fix it), they're actively avoiding animating Percy's hydrokinesis as much as possible, and the majority of monster or general CGI scenes are as hands-off as possible.

And as an animator I get it, if you don't have to animate something don't animate it. But. if your series is ENTIRELY CENTERED AROUND A CHARACTER WHO'S BIG MAIN THING IS CONTROLLING WATER. but you REFUSE TO SHOW HIM CONTROLLING WATER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Then maybe you SHOULDN'T HAVE CHOSEN THAT SERIES. And I get most scenes with monster fights are difficult to CGI interaction with. CGI interaction is not easy to make look good. But also. You cannot get through the entire series without the characters physically interacting with monsters that are going to have to be CGI'd. And there are ways to do it where the avoidance of interacting with the CGI things is less noticeable, but the show very much does not do that. They did it for the minotaur fight! Everything is really dark with strategic lighting so stuff gets obscured. That one looked fine! But in like every other CGI fight Percy just. Does not touch. It very clear the show is doing very cheap CGI wherever possible and then having the nicer monsters and things that carefully do not touch moving things as much as possible. Walker sits completely stationary when Percy's turning to gold cause they had to CGI over him and it looks bad anyways. PJO TV has the budget for it to not be bad. Disney has the means. But they're not doing that. Even fully stationary CGI scenery like Olympus is clearly super lazy and is skipped over as quickly as possible and is just sad.

Anyways I'm gonna go reblog some old Sea of Monsters gifsets.

[andy-15-07]

lazy day

masterlist ! pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

SUMMARY : Rafe and Y/N are having a lazy day

Outer Banks Masterlist

The soft sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow in Rafe Cameron's room. You and Rafe had decided that today would be a lazy day, a welcome break from the usual chaos that surrounded the Pogues' lives in the Outer Banks. The day unfolded with no plans, just a desire to revel in each other's company without the pressures of the world outside.

Rafe yawned as he stretched out on his bed, still clad in his sleep-rumpled clothes. You sat cross-legged next to him, the cozy atmosphere enveloping you both. The scent of coffee wafted in from the nearby kitchen, teasing your senses.

"Lazy day, huh?" Rafe said, a playful smirk on his lips. "No adventures, no drama, just us."

You chuckled, running your fingers through his tousled hair. "Exactly. Just us, a cup of coffee, and whatever we feel like doing."

Rafe sat up, leaning against the headboard, his eyes fixated on you. "Sounds perfect to me."

You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. The kiss lingered, a sweet exchange that set the tone for the laid-back day ahead. As you pulled away, Rafe's eyes sparkled with affection.

"Let's start this lazy day right," he suggested, reaching for his phone to cue up some music.

The room filled with the mellow tunes of Rafe's chosen playlist, creating a comfortable ambiance. You settled back against the pillows, the soft melodies providing a backdrop for the day's relaxation. Rafe poured two cups of coffee, handing one to you before reclining beside you.

Sipping the warm brew, you exchanged lazy smiles. "To the perfect lazy day," Rafe toasted, clinking his mug against yours.

"To us," you agreed, the simple sentiment carrying a world of meaning.

As the morning unfolded, you and Rafe found yourselves lost in a game of cards. The competition was light-hearted, filled with teasing banter and the occasional stolen kiss. The cards scattered across the bed as Rafe leaned in, capturing your lips with his own.

"Looks like I win," he declared with a triumphant grin.

You rolled your eyes, a playful smirk on your lips. "Fine, you win this round. But there's more to come."

With the cards abandoned, you both decided to indulge in a movie marathon. Snuggled under blankets, you let the hours slip away, engrossed in a mix of classic films and guilty pleasures. Rafe's arm draped over your shoulder, pulling you close as you shared laughter and whispered commentary.

"Can you believe that plot twist?" Rafe exclaimed during a particularly dramatic moment.

You chuckled, nuzzling into his side. "I know, right? Total unexpected twist."

As the sun climbed higher in the sky, the aroma of pizza wafted in from the kitchen. Rafe had ordered your favorite, complete with extra cheese and pepperoni. The two of you devoured the slices, savoring the combination of cheesy goodness and the pleasure of each other's company.

The lazy day continued with a series of easygoing activities—reading snippets from favorite books, sharing childhood stories, and occasionally dozing off in the cozy cocoon you had created together.

As the afternoon waned, you found yourselves on the couch, limbs intertwined and the TV playing in the background. Rafe absentmindedly traced patterns on your arm, a contented smile on his face.

"Days like these make me appreciate the simple things," he confessed, his voice a low murmur.

You nodded, your head resting against his chest. "Me too. Just being with you, no distractions or worries—it's perfect."

Rafe pressed a lingering kiss to the top of your head, his embrace tightening. "I love you, Y/N. Lazy days or not, every moment with you is perfect."

The sentiment hung in the air, a sweet acknowledgment of the bond you shared. As the lazy day continued, you and Rafe found joy in the simplicity of love, laughter, and the comfort of each other's presence—a day that etched itself into the memories of lazy, sun-drenched afternoons spent in each other's arms.

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 2, Wave 3, Poll 2

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Chu Sangwoo-Semantic Error

Qualifications/Propaganda:

hey this is just a little more info on Chu Sangwoo (obvs you don't have to include him if you don't want to but I'd figure I'd send some more stuff in) (I also don't think I submitted him? but I know who he is) So there's a manhwa (Korean webcomic) and a tv series (I'm personally more familiar with the tv series). Basically, he's very strongly coded as autistic, though it's never explicitly stated (though in the manhwa I believe they mention that he has some unspecified disorder).So here's a list of some of the things he does in the series that are why people say he's autistic-coded:

meticulously organized and adheres to a strict schedule he set for himself

struggles when things happen that he didn't predict beforehand/throws a wrench into his plans

is very blunt, gets labeled as antisocial/being like a machine, and struggles with understanding other's social cues

practices saying things so that he won't come off as insincere

creates his own systems to accomplish tasks and struggles to work in unfamiliar environments/environments with lots of distractions

views life very logically and doesn't like it when things happen that break his rules of logic

wishes he could format his brain so he wouldn't have to deal with confusing and unnecessary feelings

There's others but that's a few of the main ones.Anyways here's a little clip from the series that hopefully helps add more context? https://youtu.be/Mai2WvTpIv8 And anyways if you still decide to not include him, that's fine, but I'd figure that I'd send y'all some more info just in case! Excited for th bracket regardless!!!

Chu Sangwoo is canonically gay, the series is a gay romance & he falls for Jaeyoung, who's the complete opposite of him personality wise. Hence the title- semantic 'error' since attraction wasn't expected. It's a really good series and Chu Sangwoo is realistic and well-written (speaking as a fellow queer autistic).

Elim Garak-Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Qualifications:

He has PTSD due to child abuse, as well as a painkiller addiction due to a brain implant. He is also extremely gay. Like literally everybody who watches DS9 immediately understands this about him. He was explicitly played by his actor, Andy Robinson, as attracted to Julian Bashir, and his only heterosexual romance is truly painful to witness. Andrew Robinson has also said that he has had a one-night stand with Dukat, one of the main villains of DS9 and noted lizard nazi. Do with that what you will. His closest relationship onscreen by far is with Julian.

Propaganda:

This man. There is a reason so many people are obsessed with him. Former spy, current tailor, forever an incurable bitch. Guilty of many war crimes, including onscreen attempted genocide. Once intentionally blew up his own tailor shop (with him in it) because he didn't want to ask for help with something. In his very first scene on the show, he wears an shirt that strongly resembles a watermelon, propositions Julian Bashir, and leaves while canonically high on painkillers. He has PTSD due to child abuse at the hands of the head of the space lizard KGB, who is also his dad, and a painkiller addiction due to a brain implant he has to help him withstand torture. He tortures a main character in one episode, and then a few episodes later they start having regular breakfasts together. Once got high on Space Weed and started systematically murdering people while making ominous announcements about chess over the PA system. The Most Character Ever.

Anything Else?:

He once told Julian to eat his rod. It was about a futuristic USB stick (datarod) but he still very much said it.

Submitted by @convenient-plot-device

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey do you guys remember how I said that I was going to use patreon to write up content that would be WILDLY too long for tumblr? yeah. this is uuuuuh a little less than 6000 words about a bad Animal Planet series from 2008 that no one watched but me and my sister.

and here's part of the introduction under the cut for freebies, in case you want a little sample:

If you weren’t a painfully introverted animal fact kid in the early 2000s it’s almost impossible to explain the degree of sway that Animal Planet and its shows held over me as a child. Meerkat Manor, Animal Cops, The Most Extreme, The Little Zoo That Could, Prehistoric Planet, River Monsters, all of Steve Irwin’s work, and truly any and all non-serialized programming about any animal imaginable. I ate it all up, even the terribly boring half-hour programs like Backyard Habitat and Petfinder that they only played in the weird wee hours of the morning. 

Crucially, this programming is mostly of a nonfiction bent. Prehistoric Planet uses a framing device involving the use of time travel to bring extinct animals into the present to live in a zoo, but ultimately they’re trying to teach you some facts about some beasts, and while Meerkat Manor was definitely anthropomorphizing and editorializing the drama those meerkats experienced, it was at least rooted in the very real Kalahari Meerkat Project, which has been intensively documenting the behavior of meerkat mobs for many meerkat generations.

But then we get into the oddballs. In 2004 Animal Planet aired Dragons: A Fantasy Made Real, a British “docufiction” produced for Channel Four that sought to contextualize the nearly-global mythology of dragons in real history and biology, complete with CGI recreations of dragons in their “natural habitats.” That’s all fine and good; there’s nothing wrong with using a fake thing to teach people about real animals’ evolution and anatomy. The Loch Ness Monster episode of River Monsters is excellent for this, as you can tell that host Jeremy Wade (angler, freshwater detective, and criminally fuckable old man) doesn’t expect to find a monster literally at all and is just taking the opportunity to introduce his audience to animals they might not otherwise know about, including the noble Greenland shark. He pulls the same trick again in a later episode where he’s sent to discover the “truth” behind sea serpents and winds up diving in search of the elusive oarfish.

Dragons is… not doing that. Instead it offers up a framing device following a completely fictional paleontologists who “suggests the theory that a carbonized Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton on display was killed by a prehistoric dragon” (thanks, Wikipedia) and then has to go on a quest to save his career by proving that dragons totally existed and he’s not crazy. And he’s not! The piece ends with him discovering straight up for-real dragon bones in the Carpathian Mountains. If you were, say, an impressionably soft-brained 8 year old watching this, well holy shit. Congrats! It turns out dragons are real and nobody knows but you. 

Why did Animal Planet air this? God only knows, but it wouldn’t be the last time they dabbled in this shit. 2012 saw another piece by the same creator, Charlie Foley, called Mermaids: The Body Found which posited that various governments are holding merpeople captive and also relied on the infamously eugenicist aquatic ape theory to justify how merpeople could exist. The CGI on that one creeped me the fuck out, although I was at least old enough by then to recognize it wasn’t real.

Between those two docufictional farces, Animal Planet got a little freaky and rolled out some fake factual content of their own: three season of the TV show Lost Tapes (2008-2010, RIP), which purportedly showed “found footage” from incidents of humans having terrifying encounters with cryptids and fighting to escape with their lives. Interspersed with the fully fictional stories were segments of experts talking about folkloric history and speculating as to how creatures like Sasquatch and sea serpents could be real, which was an admirable effort to make it educational but often fell pretty short. There’s a werewolf episode where their expert weakly offers up that there are tons of transformations in nature, like caterpillars turning into butterflies. Notably that has absolutely nothing in common with a human turning rapidly into a wolfbeast and then shifting back, but they tried! They stopped trying as hard by season three, by which point they were throwing any and every beastie they could think of at the wall: there are episodes dedicated to zombies, a poltergeist, two different types of vampires, and the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl. 

Also straining belief was the dedication that some POV characters had to keeping their cameras rolling. I don’t blame the writers for that; it’s hard coming up with a fresh gimmick for “found footage” in every episode. Some of them, like characters wearing body cameras, are pretty smart; others, like a teenage girl continuing to film on her phone while being hunted by the Jersey devil, are not. They’re very much running on horror movie rules; the characters are as dumb as they need to be to make the plot go. To the show’s credit the dumdums are frequently punished, and it’s not uncommon for every single named character to end up dead at the hands (or claws, fangs, whatever) of the monster of the week. 

Needless to say, as a 12 year old I thought this was extremely edgy and cool. I was old enough to recognize that the so-called found footage was fake and that the acting was mostly very bad, but I liked cryptids and some of the show’s better episodes could still creep me right out. I think geeky 12 year olds who like to get a little freaked out on purpose are probably the ideal target demographic for this show, followed by nostalgic 20-somethings who have seen every episode several times.

(Hi, editor’s note: having completed this list it turns out there are WAY more episodes than I thought and I fully Do Not Recall some of them, so egg on my face.)

[yurigoggles]

OMFGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! OMG! I can’t…I just…I fuckin can’t!! I…

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 3, Episode 11- "I Solemnly Swear..." (That I Have No Memory Of Anything That Happens In This One Based On The Title)

The opening credits of this episode confirm we will finally be introduced to Alex (yay)! Alex stan here! Although quite honestly, I'm interested to see whether or not he lives up to the hype I've built up for him in my memory. .Stumbling almost totally blind into a mid-season episode is thrilling in a really pathetic way. I am being informed this is one of the lowest rated episodes of the entire series, but some low stakes mid season filler can still be good for the soul. Emily's former maid, Gerta from Germany, is suing Emily for wrongful termination after she was fired for being a Noisy Walker. Ah, rich people.

Lorelai sits amongst the delicious looking fake food whilst observing Sookie and Jackson having a loud culinary-based argument.

Lorelai puts Michel in charge while she and Sookie attend the seminar where Lorelai will meet her new totally fine and criminally under-rated B-Tier-Not-Luke Boyfriend, Alex, who shines bright but quickly burns out like a falling star, never to be seen or mentioned again. Presumably he is the second victim to be sucked in by the Male Gilmore Girls Character California Wormhole (Max was first, but eventually escapes). We learn Michel attended a fancy French hospitality college, while Lorelai has to attend a seminar at a Radisson called "How To Run an Inn". But then a witch put a curse on him so he ended up working for nickels at a tiny bed and breakfast in Nowherefuck USA. Tale as old as time. I made that last part up, but The Hollow is still where dreams go to die. Something had to go wrong in his life for him to fall so far. Michel: I predict it will be a total waste of time and money and I will be here to laugh at you when you return. So will I, Michel. So will I. Some more newspaper/Francie crap. Skip skip skip, skip to my loo... Maybe I'm missing something important, but it's a risk I'm always willing to take. The scene goes on forever (4 minutes). Lorelai recives an answering machine message from Emily's lawyer, who is voiced by...Seth MacFarlane. Peter, Brian, and Stewie Griffin and the guy who was bullying Lorelai at her college graduation. It's hard to unhear this dude as anyone but Brian Griffin. Anyway, Stewie is calling to request Lorelai give a deposition at German Gerta's trial to which Lorelai steadfastly refuses, but then a few seconds later changes her mind. Yawn. Lorelai and Sookie go to the boring seminar, then leave the boring seminar. They eat some free cookies in the hallway. ALEX, ALEX, ALEX...

Wheee!

He was just as hawt as I remember. Teehee! The first piece of Alex Lore we are blessed to recieve is that he is a business partner of some spazzy dude that Sookie used to party harty with back in the day, 14 hour booze and pot benders and what not, and the two fellas want to open a chain of coffee shops together. Well, at least they're not attending the Luke Danes School of Serving Folgers And Pretending it's Gourmet seminar. Alex, why are you so hot? Even his voice is hot! And funny too! Damn it Salty! You know what happens to him. Remember the cardinal rule you learned in Recapping 25 Year Old TV Shows School- Do not get attached to single-digit-episode guest stars! It's been less than a minute since he first appeared on screen, and I'm already enamored with their immediate and obvious chemistry. They tried to force that same type of chemistry/ dynamic with Jason through an entire season and it fell completely flat on its face. And I can tell you why (besides the fact that Jason and his storyline sucked eggs). In my humble opinion, JasonDiggerStiles was too similar to Lorelai. And it's never wise for Lorelai to date herself. It opens up a terrifying vortex, one which the world's premier Vortex Scientists have dubbed "Season 4".

An incredible businessman and probably good in the sack, too. Uh, just a hunch.

You two are going to break my heart. Until then I'll just try to enjoy the ride. More Francie crap. I am going to skip skip skip but I do want to observe what's on the lunch menu at the Chilton caf.

Mashed potatoes with gravy, asparagus, an apple and a can of Redbull for Paris. Rory is having her favorite beverage, a Hansen's soda (Raspberry flavor); along with a bag of Doritos. Plus, some kind of sandwich, but it's not her usual Prison Cafeteria Special of two slices of white bread. It looks to be some kind of wheat or rye bread with unidentifable innards. Possibly a BLT or roast beef with tomato? And a book for some nourishing carbohydrates.

A better view. We have deli meat.

I'm still skipping past the Francie crap, but I have several important questions first. Since when does Chilton have a parking garage? A dimly lit, empty one at that? Are there enough students and faculty for a parking garage to make sense? Is this parking garage ever seen again? Is this somewhere off campus?

Ahhh! There has been one Dimly Lit Confrontation per episode for the last 3 episodes. Dean vs. Jess on the dimly lit street. Dean vs.Jess in a dimly lit school hallway. Rory vs Ginger Spice in a dimly lit parking garage. But this one lacks the steamy sexual tension of the previous two. Pass. Back at the Inn, Michel admits to Lorelai he once...killed a dog? I think? Doggy annoyed Michel and doggy went bye bye? Wink wink? I don't want to think about this. Sookie's spazzy friend from the seminar shows up at the Inn sans Alex, which means he is irrelevant to me. Mr Irrelevant Joe doesn't know Sookie is married and admits he's had a decade long crush on her. Now she has to break his heart. Oh, sweet, sweet, pointless filler. Lorelai exclaims "That's some real Gatbsy pining." I mean, Luke came pretty close to Gatsby levels of pining. Where's his recognition?

Worth a shot. Sookie tells the Joe guy that she's married. He understands. We will probably never see him again. The end.

Embrace it, my Lesbian Whore friend. Rory and Lorelai rehearse sample questions for the upcoming court deposition. Yawn.

The kid has a lot on his metaphorical plate these days, you know? Cut him a break. You know what fucking bothers me? I have this clear memory of Jess making a brief appearance in this scene where Luke berates him (in person) for screwing up the food order! Time to go full conspiracy theory mode. What are They hiding from us? Where is Jess? How deep does the rabbit hole go? Since when is Jess responsible for placing supply orders for the restaurant in addition to waiting and bussing tables for meager tips, working at Walmart, and going to school (sometimes)? That's your job, Uncle Luke. And if he screwed up the order, you're still his manager, why weren't you supervising him? Is he getting a raise for these additional responsbiltiies or is he still getting paid in acorns? Stop the madness! I KNOW HE WAS IN THIS SCENE! More Francie crap. This time its between Francie and Paris in a bathroom with a tampon dispenser serving as a lovely backdrop. LET'S WRAP IT UP, PEOPLE. Rory and Paris vent their (sexual) frustrations through a fencing match. Paris is mad at Rory for reasons I don't understand or care about. Emily is mad at Lorelai for being both too honest and too unserious at the deposition. Jackson is mad at Sookie because he thinks she cheated on him with Irrelevant Joe and blows up at her. Yawn. Then more Francie crap. There is way too much estrogen in this episode.

But with less than a minute remaining, Alex calls and saves the day. He provides a much needed boost of testosterone to wrap up the episode. And I get to see his furnishings. Well, I was already informed of this, but if i didn't know, now I'd know...what I'm saying is there are fingerpainted pictures on the wall behind him. The dude has small kids. He's a confirmed DILF! Michel leaked Lorelai's phone number to Alex and we thank him for that. I'm still not going to overlook the whole erasing a dog thing.

You mean like how Luke buys Folgers and disguises it as his own blend?

Smooth as a fresh jar of Skippy.

...Says the woman who doesn't know when she's being duped with supermarket coffee (even when its being scooped from the can 2 inches from her face) and puts coffee grounds in the freezer.

Yayyyyy Alex and Lorelai! Yay! He is the only Luke Substitute I will accept for Lorelai. So I'm just going to go LA LA LA LA! for now while pretending this ship doesn't sink as quickly and spectacularly as the Titanic 2.0. Salty is quite pleased with this last-minute-of-the-episode, predictable turn of events. It will make up for the complete lack of Jess (and Luke) in this episode. Jess appeared in name only through The Great Lettuce Screwup of 2003, and in my hazy false memories. On the brighter side, it was also a Certified Dean-Free episode. This show is BORING without Rory's stupid boyfriends.

I do not get why we are suddenly looking at Lorelai through a window like someone is stalking her from outside the house. Dean, is that you? This episode was so threadbare plotwise that it was my first one-shot recap in a LONG time (it still took me over 3 hours to write, though! So your comments, feedback and reblogs always brighten my day and make all the effort worth it). As is the new tradition, here's the (wimpy) End of Episode Bingo Card.

[lazerv4]

Thoughts on Total Forgiveness

Just my raw thoughts not a review or anything

Total Forgiveness starts with Ally Beardsley and Grant O’Brian pitching the show they are about to embark on to Sam Reich their at the time President of Original Content at CollegeHumor (now CEO of Dropout). The pitch is simple, student debt is a cripplying problem and they came up with the accordion method, what if instead of many years of suffering under their loans they could instead make the suffering happen in 4 months and pay their debt as they gamble on challenges between the two of them for money which the show would award weekly. Sam hesitates but greenlights the show much to the delight of Grant and Ally who get right to work on the first challenges which end up being Grant has to interview a lawyer specializing on student debt while covered in leeches and Ally has to interview an ex partner about what went wrong while they eat the spiciest food Grant can find. Afterwards we see the actual challenges go through as Grant does his assigned interview while bleeding profusely and Ally has what can only be derived as a cringe nightmare of an experience with their ex eating thai so spicy they almost throw up, then when they are both done we see them together, they both look like they’ve been through hell and that is just the first episode.

Episode 2 begins a little bit meaner with Ally getting an Oompa Loompa makeover and getting their driver’s license renovated while Grant wears a dog shock collar for barking the entire day which leads to him spending the day mute, this is where we start to see the main dynamics of the show develop with Ally embracing the horribleness and Grant trying his best to have fun with it but struggling a bit.

Episode 3 is a kinder episode to Grant with him simply going camping which apparently he hates, meanwhile Ally is buried alive for an entire day in a sort of sensory deprivation coffin while they are still in the office.

Episode 4 meanwhile has Grant performing a cringe inducing stand up show purposely sabotaged to be terrible with the caveat that if a joke doesn't land he has to say “it’s all love” which just makes it so much worse, on the flipside Ally has to publish an excerpt from their teenage diary, a move which severely backfires on Grant as it seems like a growing experience for Ally that improved them as a person all things considered, no suffering all money.

At this point not a single point has been lost and both Ally and Grant are giving their all to the challenges and still enjoying themselves to some extent since the point of the show is to compress suffering they do struggle but nothing too bad has happened yet, this is where that begins to change.

Episode 5 is one of the hardest things I’ve had to sit through. Grant gets the challenge of being locked in his studio apartment with 8 family members for a weekend which while I’m sure it was a nightmare, it doesn’t translate to tv. All’s challenge this week was to sing the United States national anthem at a minor league baseball game and to make it way worse, they apparently don’t even know the lyrics so they completely fucked it up and even have a random laugh in the middle of it, it’s the sort of horrible second hand embarrassment that is legitimately hard to endure and I have seen some people say this and another upcoming Ally challenge are borderline unwatchable because it’s just too cringe, but if you can get through it the series has more for you.

Episode 6 is the phobia episode where Grant must face needles and Ally must face snakes, for Grant he just has to inject himself so B12 with the alleged most painful needle which he does albeit it leads to one of my favorite gags when he says “I’ll be fine in 5 minutes” after he pulls the needle out only for the show to cut to him having a full panic attack with an oxygen mask. Grant won his challenge and valiantly faced his fear but as for Ally, well things would go different for them. Ally’s challenge involved that some night, any night at all, Grant would come in with a live snake and Ally would have to sleep with it on their bed. While Ally had been a very ambitious and fun loving contestant, this broke something and they just completely refused to engage with the snake and complete the challenge leading to the first loss and the domino effect which would shape the series into what it became.

Episode 7 is where challenges start to get unreasonable, with almost 4000 dollars on the line this contest had to get difficult so both Ally and Grant came up with this, Grant wanted Ally to spend their whole week piss drunk which at first Ally enjoyed and it annoyed everyone else but quickly it started getting to them and by the end of the week you can see their health suffer because of it and the remnants of a broken person just trying to finish the last day to claim the win, while Grant broke Ally’s body their mind seems unbreakable. As for Grant, Ally came up with a really strange and complicated challenge, basically Grant had to get an erection with no stimulation while being timed which ended in a really bizarre contraption so this could be shown without well showing Grant’s genitals. This challenge has been often called unreasonable and impossible by many people and to an extent it is but Grant still accepted it and attempted it as hard as he could, an attempt that proved unsuccessful leading to his first loss of the show.

As of now Grant has earned $10750 while Ally has $13250, as the gap starts to widen so do the challenges as the series starts to lead to it’s climax.

Episode 8 is the real turning point of the series with Ally getting the other famously cringe and unwatchable challenge in having to become a herbalife shill to her new roommates and do unreasonable actions Grant assigns via an earpiece to try and make them quit but their will somehow remained strong which showed how much fun Ally was having with this whole show as the chaotic person they are, meanwhile Grant was having a rough time. Ally’s challenge to Grant was to sell all his earthly possessions at a flea market and try to earn a thousand dollars which a some points seems maybe doable but very quickly while Grant still doesn’t realize it, it’s very clear to the viewer and to the crew that Grant won’t be able to accomplish this. He leaves this challenge defeated and returns to his empty apartment with now nothing to his name except around $600, not only did he lose the challenge but he also lost everything he had, this is where we first start to see how this show has damaged Grant and Ally’s friendship and also emotionally damaged Grant who seems barely still holding it together by the end of the episode which leads you wonder, how can this escalate further?

Episode 9 got mean, Grant challenged Ally to get a neck tattoo with the name of their new girlfriend who they've been dating for 2 months while Ally challenged Grant to shit in public as performance art (again his genitals are covered but chest up everyone can see him). The challenges this week feel very mean spirited and with Ally now being up $24250 to Grant’s $10750 things are heating up and they are starting to feel more like bitter rivals than loving friends doing a dumb show together. Going with Ally first while Sam seems hesitant to approve this challenge Ally wants to do it and still seems have fun with it as a big dumb joke even if it’s their first tattoo it’s just a gag to them and they don’t mind the embarrassment with them even bringing said gf to the parlor so they can watch the tattoo be made. Meanwhile Grant struggles, even before the exhibition opens we can already see he is stressed and uncomfortable, he doesn’t seem like he wants to do it but the money is too life changing to not go through with it so he presses on, he is notified that when he is done he can pull a string that will drop confetti to signify he has completed the challenge and so he gets on the toilet in front of a lot of people. The atmosphere is not tense, it’s closer to something sad and depressing, something akin to the feeling of exploiting someone and when Grant pulls the string and the confetti falls, you can’t help but feel awful, a big thing through this episode has been Siobhan (another dropout cast member) giving some advice to Grant and Ally separately about how to mend what they are breaking and she stays as everyone leaves to speak with Ally as Grant angrily prepares to go home. As Ally approaches to tell Grant everyone was an extra, the mood is again tense, he just replies he is “done for the day” and that it was “funny” as he just walks away checking with the crew really quick to see if he can leave and then just exiting the building silently. This episode seemed to be the tipping point for Grant and what would have ended their friendship with Ally as even with this the gap just widened and made everything seem worse and worse while making each other more antagonistic towards the other that while Ally had been taking as dumb fun, they had now realized was hurting Grant and something had to be done if this friendship was gonna survive this show, let alone a 10th episode.

Episode 10 is just titled “Finale” with no allusion to the challenges like all the previous episodes so you go on not exactly knowing what to expect. It begins with other dropout cast members talking about the strain this show has had on Ally and Grant before going into the challenge pitching part of the show where Ally is alone with the production crew struggling to even come up with something until they says they have a pitch and the show cuts to Grant alone with the crew as well, they try to check on Grant to see if he is ok and he clarifies he doesn’t blame anyone and he is not the victim of the show but he is struggling. He is not sure what to pitch except something horrible and life changing so he is gonna go through Ally’s challenge first, cut to Jess and Katie (dropout cast members) in Santa Monica, they have a letter for Grant that Ally wrote the challenge is just to enjoy the day at the beach with his friends while wearing a dumb outfit and to decompress the show a bit to see if maybe he has it in him to forgive them. The show cuts to a montage of Grant having fun for his $10k prize just hanging in the pier and doing dumb stuff with Jess and Katie.The mood is so different, so fun and afterwards Grant talks a bit about what the show has done to their friendship and how he is regretful Ally couldn’t be there with them before announcing he now knows what his challenge is and shot fades. We start the scene in a bar called “State Social House” that same night as Grant and Ally meet in the empty bar and Grant reveals the challenge is to have 3 mezcals with him, while they begin drinking they also talk about their sentiments regarding what the money has done to their friendship, the reminique about what they've been through and what living with debt has done to them, how they hope to remain friends after this and even hopefully for the rest of their lives as they approach the third drink to which Ally comments about prompting Grant (a seasoned bartender) to want to smell and check it’s profile, this leads Ally to telling Grant to just drink it and take the $10k and to make the gap smaller to which Grant replies that he can’t accept that, at this point Ally has made their choice so they drop the mezcal on the floor on the most shocking moment on the entire show. What is next is just pure friendship and love for the people around you. Grant starts crying and they hug in the sweetest moment in the show, this is the moment that turned around the show according to Sam in a “episode 11” interview. The show then cuts to Grant paying one of his loans and he becomes able to finally be able to start paying his loans instead of just interest, Ally also talks about their loan consolidation as the show begins to wrap and we get the final scene with is a small dinner they set up and the talk about everything they learned about loans and how they are designed to make people’s life worse before the show ends with a toast to it’s history and a tally of the remaining debt before finally saying goodbye one last time.

Total Forgiveness did eventually get a reunion episode 11 sort of podcast thing but that is mainly talking behind the scenes about how of the rails the show went and how it was almost cancelled before the final episode essentially redeemed the whole thing from feeling like like a dystopian torture system as well as how Ally and Grant expected Jackass but got something much deeper, something about the effects of debt on people, something like most of dropout special. Total Forgiveness may not be for everyone, it can be a hard show to sit through, but for those able to go through with it the way it develops as an allegory for its own themes is fantastic and beautiful and in some ways the only example of prestige reality tv I can think of. It is truly one of a kind and a beautiful little show that can’t and shouldn’t be replicated, it should stand as a monolith and be cherished for all it accomplished in showing the struggles of debt. Ally and Grant did something incredible that would only be possible at a platform like dropout and with how the show turned out and how it stands along with other titans at dropout they should be proud.

[tenaciousbouquetearthquake]

You know, I realize that Blood Ties was a fairly short lived TV show from 2007 and I mean, I'm not sure that there are many fans (if any) of it on tumblr, so this post is probably pointless and will not be seen by anyone, but I'm doing a late night rewatch while reading fanfiction and trying to motivate myself to do something productive after a shit week is stretching into TWO shit weeks. So, I'm just going to shitpost because I feel like screaming into the tumblr void for five minutes.

01. The books by Tanya Huff were genuinely terrible past book one and I will never forgive her giving us so much great sexual tension in the first book to just let it flop in EVERY BOOK AFTERWARD. Also, how the hell do you get werewolves so fucking wrong in book#2? I mean, really? REALLY?

O2. Coreen in the TV series was annoying as hell and I don't get why they took such a minor character from book#1 and turned her into Vicki's assistant and essentially someone completely different from the book? I skip her scenes wherever possible.

03. That said, Mike Celluci is also annoying as hell, but since the same actor played Jasper in Murdoch Mysteries and I adore him there, I'm predisposed to love him in everything no matter what character he plays and how obnoxious he is.

04. Okay, fine. The show was objectively pretty terrible and definitely falls into that campy 2000s supernatural romance/mystery soap opera drama that masquerades as a serious show kind of way, and season 02 is basically awful, but Kyle Schmid as Henry makes the entire show. Like, seriously, I will just watch the entire thing for that dude because he plays it so fucking well, between the swagger and the sexual charisma, and just the acting and character concept in general? The tension between TV series Henry and Vicki? And then Schmid is fucking gorgeous in the part?

Ugh, just. I would climb that dude like a tree and let him draw me like one of his French girls.

05. On the topic of Henry, while I do appreciate turning into a graphic novel writer/artist in the TV series and the nod towards the titles from the book series, but book Henry writing bodice ripper romances is just...so fucking good conceptually, I just live for it.

06. I would watch an entire TV show spin off based just around the medical examiner who is just 100% on board with THIS FREAKY THEORY COULD TOTALLY BE POSSIBLE AND SCIENCE CAN'T EXPLAIN EVERYTHING AND SURE VICKI I'M GOING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY A COP ANYMORE AND THEREFORE SHOULDN'T BE HERE AT ALL from like her very first scene on the show.

And this concludes my shitpost that will most likely go unnoticed. For now.

I make no guarantees that I will not have more thoughts as my rewatch continues. Or that I will not just obsessively make posts of Henry Fitzroy gifs or other media because he's one of my favorite TV/movie vampires.