#Total Experience attraction

[farmlesbians]

being someone who has been officially out for going on 8 years and who has known they're a lesbian for literally 10 but also being someone with very little experience actually dating anyone sucks shit cause i come off way too confident then goof it in the end

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

sometimes i want to make a post about a particular aroace experience but 2015 ace discourse fucked me up too much to feel comfy posting that here, especially because some people apparently haven't fucking moved on given that i saw a bunch of it in the notes of an unrelated post a couple of days ago

[shoechoe]

other people experiencing attraction/romance really does blindside me sometimes. i'll just be minding my own business in my friend group and then two of them will start showing obvious romantic affection or be like "by the way we're dating" and it'll be like... huh i totally forgot romance was a thing that happens in real life

[invinciblerodent]

I snoopes around your old tags aand I am a little in love with Harwen

Aaaah, thank you, I'm so happy you like him! ❤️❤️

I've been thinking about him a lot this Veilguard eve too, kinda revisiting him (and some of my other, "non-canon" guys, especially vis a vis the Themes™ and how they continue through the new guys), and for what it's worth... I think that for a character I made when I was only like 22, he still works pretty well!

I would probably do a few things differently now, more consciously, but, I mean... I still think that the "reclusive, introverted, gray-ace-but-specifically-demisexual Dalish assassin-strategist Experiencing Cultural Divide And Alienation" is still a fun concept that I really like!

.... I have also been toying around a bit with mods for the BG3 cc, to try and make (among others) him an updated face for the Veilguard timeskip too, and um.

the "Vallaslin" and the nose on this one are not quite right (the Vallaslin is supposed to be Andruil's, and his nose is supposed to be a bit hooked, kind of aquiline), but in his mid- to late forties? There's no way Harwen isn't gonna be dilfy. A positively dilfy elf.

(This is, I believe, is Shadowheart's dad's face, and he's an assassin-spec archer rogue in Dragon Age canon, but I think he'd be more of a hunter-, or gloom stalker-subclass Ranger in real DnD.)

[moonmoonthecrabking]

"i love women i tolerate men bc i'm attracted to them" "i'm attracted to men, unfortunately (/neg)", "ew why be attracted to men when you can just date women instead" i am maiming everyone who supports this rhetoric and everyone who caused it to become so widespread by invalidating women's attraction to people who aren't men.

[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

funny thing about attraction is that i am Not at all interested in cis guys. right.

except for the literal worst fictional men you've ever layed eyes on.

this character is horrible and *will* harm my general health?

comfort character babey.

occasionally theres the just Regular Ass Guy right, but 90% of the time its either women or the literal scum of the earth (or both. lady villains. aaough <3 yes please)

[majorasnightmare]

sits here thinking about all the fic ideas i have for my durge and isobel and punches a hole in the drywall because i have unmedicated Cant Focus Disorder

[lesbiansupernatural]

I truly can't relate to all these people who have identified as bisexual and then start realizing they are lesbians, and that their male attraction was purely comphet (even though it's totally valid)

I realized I was a lesbian, not because I fell in love with a girl, but because I realized all the boys I knew of SUCKED, and I never had, nor ever would, be attracted to any of them

[vintage-bentley]

Have the “aspec” folks considered that if there are this many labels to describe being “aspec”…maybe it’s not actually a minority experience? That maybe the vast majority of people would fall somewhere on the “asexual spectrum”, which would be better described as simply the spectrum of how people experience attraction? That maybe they aren’t “queer” at all, and are just like everyone else? That maybe being like everyone else isn’t a bad thing, and that they need to stop running from it by creating endless labels to make themselves feel Special And Unique?

[carbonateddelusion]

there's part of me that worries that it's weird I'm putting so much thought into pre-transition Mari, but 1. I'm ALSO a trans person 2. it's a big part of her character so I think it's natural that it needs to be developed

[allthegothihopgirls]

i think i sit in a very narrow middle-ground where i'm not a die-hard swiftie, but i also wouldn't say i'm a casual enjoyer of her stuff. i have a lot of fond core musical memories that involve taylor swift, and i know a large portion of her catalogue, and i still do enjoy her music. but i'm not super duper insane about it most of the time. but did i also go to eras tour and scream and cry a lot and fangirl? yeah. but i still wouldn't say i'm 'die-hard' about her

[grahamdollton]

[mantisgodsdomain]

Ok we realize we just wrote like a whole tag essay about this but we just realized that we can pare it down to "either no or no but in a way where people probably still talk about thinking theyre hot anyways".

[lakewinnipeg]

much has been said abt this phenomenon but it does suck emotionally to have the gender/presentation mismatch of feeling good about how you look but the way you look gets sorted by default into just being a Woman but then that causes other problems cuz the interior experience absolutely does not buy into any narrative of womanhood or girlhood

[puzzledemigod]

I also love to criticize the "this is the skin of a killer Bella" body glitter scene but one thing I will give Twilight is that the justification for why vampires turn into more beautiful versions of themselves is interesting

Like, the dynamic of a species made of individuals that used to be another species and now prey on (or parasite) their former equals while still blending into them is one of the core reasons why vampires are so frightening, and using that to justify why they're all sexy now is at least a bit creative. So instead of them just all being coincidentally hot, the vampire venom makes them the most alluring human-passing beings possible as an adaptation to their new ecological niche

[spywitch]

sure bi/pan discourse is stupid but I sure have seen a major improvement in how ppl define pansexuality in relation to to bisexuality when compared to the early days of pansexuality as a result of said discourse. Like it seems most people have reached a “let ppl identify how they want” consensus, while also no longer being weirdly transphobic and biphobic every time someone asks the difference between bi/pan/poly/omni/etc.