#Too dam young to understand that words hurt

[olderthannetfic]

seeing the hatred and fake-claiming makes me... sad, for lack of a better word. I have been a system for a very, very long time; I had the first inklings of it in middleschool when I was so severely depressed and lonely and shrouded in feelings of worthlessness that my brain did literally whatever if could to let me survive. I didn't tell anybody, because i was solidly convinced it was JUST an overactive imagination, and i definitely couldn't be one of those ~sick~ people who ~REALLY~ had mpd. because my only real exposure to the idea had been fucked up jokes and horror movies, and i was an athiest at the time(so the more spiritual explanations didn't sound real to me), it seemed too far away to be possible. in highschool the mental dam broke. i got FLOODED with headmates after the idea of "it's not normal for your ~imaginary friends~ to act on their own and occasionally take control of your body for you" finally sunk in, and it was scary, and i STILL stayed silent on it outside of a very small friend group, because i was terrified - above all else - that i would be sent to the looney bin. because that's what you DID with mpd, right? even if it wasn't hurting anybody? because they're crazy? well, i've spent most of my adult life learning more about how different systems operate and how MINE operates, and I have to say.... it's the best thing that could have happened for my mental health. yes, it was scary. because of how we are TREATED by the media and the average person. yes, it is a little odd seeing youngsters be so open about it in such a celebratory way, because i don't understand how they aren't scared. but i am GLAD they aren't. my system is my family, moreso than the blood i share in meatspace, and they keep me safe and loved when everything is falling to pieces. and if that hasn't been your own experience, i am genuinely sorry that you're going through that, and i hope you can all learn to live together more peacefully as time passes. but fuck no i am not going to tell the kid with 18 sonics in their head that they're ~definitely faking~ just because they're fucking excited to share it. there are much worse characters to introject over and over again, and every introjection has its reasoning; even the shitty ones who makes your life harder. my early life was eaten up by my TRAUMA and my DEPRESSION, not the fucking headmates that helped me get through it. and i am so, so thankful that my therapist understands that, and i wish every system young and old that you be safe and in a good place to heal. and most of all, i hope if you're a system reading this - DID, OSDD, undiagnosed, reincarnation, whatever - that you don't believe the singlet bullshit that they push on us. full integration is not a realistic goal for most of us, and that is not just okay - for those who have learned to work together, it can be better that you'll never be one solid person. stay safe, stay loved, and keep your bitter comments to yourselves.

--

[happilychee]

thinking about aromantic lucy

I saw a terf saying aspec people aren't actually queer so fuck them here's aromantic lucy heartfilia

cw: a few mentions of internalized arophobia

lucy who doesn't know that the word love exists until she reads it in one of the few fairytale books in her father's extensive library. lucy who doesn't quite get the kissing and the physicality and the fiery proclamations, but thinks that it's an okay price to pay for someone to be so passionate for her. to choose her and care about her, like her mother did before she passed.

lucy, who's eight years old and crying after another argument with her father, who summons aquarius and asks "do you love me?" aquarius feels her blood pressure rise, but seeing the broken look in her wielder's watery eyes, she decides to drop the snark. "I do, kid." "does that mean you wanna kiss me?" aquarius almost smacks lucy over the head.

lucy who doesn't quite understand the difference between how she cares for her spirits and how she felt about her mom. lucy who cares deeply for everyone who's important to her, who thinks that aquarius could just as easily be her knight in shining armor as the storybook prince. lucy who reads romance books because she wants someone like that in her life. lucy who's never had any friends besides aquarius. lucy who thinks it must be nice to have someone choose you, care about you, protect you. lucy decides that that's what love is.

lucy who's old enough to know she doesn't like her father. lucy who's so confused when she hates him but still cares about him. lucy who's old enough to run away from home but too young, too young.

lucy who joins fairy tail and has no idea what to expect. lucy who's startled by her new friends' openness and easy acceptance of her. lucy who blushes when natsu throws an arm around her, who feels warm and fuzzy when gray guides her by the small of her back, who has a lopsided grin on her face when erza links arms with her as they walk. lucy who suddenly thinks that she's in love with three people at once and panics (her storybooks never mentioned that!!).

lucy who turns to who she can confidently call her best friend, levy mcgarden, for help. levy sits her down with a cup of hot chocolate and cookies. they talk for hours about sexuality and attraction; lucy sleeps over that night. the word that sticks out the most in her mind is aromantic.

lucy who gets drunk at a party and gets a little too close to cana, and suddenly they're in cana's apartment, making out like there's no tomorrow. lucy who feels guilt creep up in the morning because she knows cana and gray and loke have something going, and she might've just ruined it. lucy who tears up when cana laughs because she's so, so confused. cana's expression morphs into concern and she wipes away her friend's tears, warm skin on skin. cana who tells lucy that what she does with gray and what she does with loke doesn't restrict her from what she does with other people. "we talked about it, I promise." cana reassures her. then, leaning in with a sexy smirk on her face, she whispers, "besides, they're probably jealous I took you home first~" the rush of heat is enough to make lucy's mind go blank with joy.

lucy who shyly asks cana about her relationships and learns so much she feels like her head is going to explode. lucy who has a crisis about her storybooks and her ideal romances. she's never going to have that, she realizes. it feels like someone's scooped out her chest.

lucy whose feelings ebb and flow like the tide. she's not used to this. being so... different. her storybooks are scattered across the floor, thrown in an angry fit. her door is locked, but her window isn't, and that's how natsu gets in. "you okay, luce? we haven’t seen you in a while."

the dam breaks. lucy sobs in natsu's arms, and all she can think is that this is the exact type of hurt/comfort scene she loves in her stories. she wishes she were normal, so she could love normally, so she could love natsu the normal way and be done with it. she doesn't realize she's talking out loud.

natsu cups her face, onyx eyes boring into chocolate ones. he squishes her cheeks together, the way he does when he thinks she's overthinking something. and then, natsu breaks through her entire crisis with three little words.

"does it matter?" he furrows his brow. "you're lucy, and I'm natsu, and I care about you." "but- I don't feel romantic attraction-" natsu huffs, frustrated that lucy's not getting something that's apparently obvious to him. "luce. I care about you, and I trust you, and I want to take care of you and protect you. who cares about anything else?" lucy blinks once, twice, and then she's sobbing again. natsu panics, because he knows he can be blunt and dismissive sometimes, but lucy barrels into him, clutching onto his scarf tightly.

"you care about me?" she whispers in a child's voice. that's more important to her than anything. romantic, platonic, the gray area in between, none of it matters as long as natsu cares.

natsu tightens his grip, wondering who he has to pummel for making his girl feel that way. "course I care about you, dummy. I'd burn down the world for you. and so would erza and gray and cana and everyone else."

lucy who has a really hard time moping when natsu's there every step of the way, trying to cheer her up. erza and gray show up, too, and it's hard to stay sad when she's being tickled by erza while gray cooks dinner and kicks natsu out of her kitchenette.

lucy who feels the hollow fill with something warm and gooey when erza gives her a hug, confessing that she often has trouble figuring out how she feels about anything. lucy laughs when erza tells her about the shenanigans that have happened when she doesn't pick up on someone flirting with her but gray and natsu do. she feels all fuzzy when gray leans against her, telling her that he feels the same way. his hand plays with hers, and she thinks it's nice how well they slot together.

lucy realizes when natsu falls asleep in her lap, arms wrapped protectively around her waist. lucy realizes when gray falls asleep at her side, erza tucked to his chest. lucy realizes that her friends make her feel like she's on top of the world, and she doesn't need a fairytale prince when she's got fairy tail.

[astralis01]

You Drew Stars Around My Scars

Content: GN! Reader, Gojo’s Past Arc, platonic reader, best friends shenanigans, time traveller reader

WC: 3K words

Satoru closed his eyes as the sounds rang around him. It was all monotone now. People praised his skills as the first Six Eyes user in many years paired with limitless, he was going to be strongest.

He knew that. But what people didn’t understand that with such powers came the loneliness of a six-year old. The elders of his clan were scared of him, the children never came close to him. Even his own parents kept him at arms length.

No one really understood loneliness if they never experienced it before but Satoru was a master.

Joining Jujutsu High again didn’t seem like such a big deal like it was last time.

Other than the fact that you were back 10 years from when you were supposed to join but it was fine, you would figure a way back to Megumi, Nobara and Yūji again.

As you entered your classroom, the sight to three members greeted you. Gojo Satoru, your white haired, blue eyed mentor along with Doctor Ieiri and the one you had heard about from them and the second years, Getō Suguru.

Did your heart stutter your chest looking at the young faces (too young, you thought to have faced so much but weren’t all of you too young to fight things of nightmare, not knowing whether you would see the light of the next day?)

You took a seat beside Gojo Satoru and it almost seemed like you were back, except he didn’t have the bright smile that he always wore.

You missed your Gojo-sensei.

As the bell rang and Principal Masamichi, or now Yaga-sensei entered, and asked everyone to introduce themselves, never did you spot a smile on Gojo’s face and your heart hurt but you picked up a quick smile as you introduced yourself to the class. If none of them were going to smile, you would make them smile.

Break time was a messed up affair. Getō-san and Ieiri-san grouped together while you took off for Gojo.

Perhaps it was just your familiarity with him or that young Gojo-sensei looked so lonely that you instantly took up the Yūji role. You smiled and talked to him, reintroduced yourself and forced him to talk too.

You could see the dam cracking. The Gojo-sensei you knew was coming out.

The result was almost immediate. The next few periods were spent with you two talking almost as if you had known each other for a long time.

Being the strongest was a lonely spot, and you hoped you eased some bits of it.

The next few days came and went, Gojo opened up more and the happy sensei you had came back but now you had a new mission, get Ieiri-san and Getō-san to tag along.

They still seemed cautious of Gojo but they still talked and it was almost unrecognisable how much all of them had changed.

The next day, the dorm kitchen that was inhabited by Gojo and you started with breakfast making. Gojo may be the strongest but was totally hopeless in the kitchen. Usually, Getō-san and Ieiri-san came in a bit later than the two of you but today they were sitting with you two.

As they opened the pantry, you could only look in horror and both of them took out packets of instant noddles. You couldn’t let them eat that for breakfast so you snatched the packets out of their hands, asked Gojo to lead them to table and you cooked up eggs, bread and bacon.

You heard sounds of laughter echoing with the sizzling of bacon and a small smile appeared on your face.

As you took the plates over to them, you heard Gojo say, “Y/n is the best cook I’ve ever know. They have a variety to make from and nothing ever tastes bad."

Your heart swelled as you ruffled his very fluffy hair and said, “You two. Don’t you dare eat noddles in the morning."

Getō and Ieiri could only nod as they saw the revered god (teenager, your mind supplied) of jujutsu world shovel down apparently ‘the best food in the whole wide universe.�� You sat down to see their expressions as they ate the food. Their eyes widened minutely as they put the food in their mouth as fast they could.

Though you had doomed yourself to be their eternal cook, you supposed it was fine if you could see all of them this happy.

It was easy from there. Suguru and Satoru fought often but teamed up even more, Shoko took to reversed cursed technique like a fish in water and you kept on practicing yours own.

You started being joined by Suguru in your morning runs around the school who claimed that he needed the stamina to ‘beat up that idiot’. Soon after that, Satoru joined you two and Shoko ran with you as well.

You started enjoying your life here but that didn’t mean you didn’t miss your own before all of this.

There were nights where you were haunted by memories, too scared by the nightmares that would plague or the worries that over spilled. Or the days where you felt too tired to feel anything but the bone deep sadness that was engraved in your bones.

Some days were so bad that you could barely see Satoru, Suguru and Shoko without seeing your friends and those days hurt the most.

The sleepless nights were often accompanied by either Satoru or Suguru, sometimes both as you rewatched the Ghibli movies for the nth time with noddles in your hands and none of them ever asked but you were thankful for their company. It would hurt less when they were around.

Suguru was kinder than most. He offered you words of comforts on the days where even getting out of your bed seemed like a task and you wondered how this wonderful, kind boy became what the horror stories that Yūta, Maki, Toge and Panda told you about.

The days were filled with Shoko distracting you and the two of them showing their concerns in the most bird-like fashion you had ever seen.

It was fine. You would survive and go back to them.

First year came and went, and your second year started within the blink of an eye introducing Nanami and Haibara to you.

You giggled uncontrollably as you saw Nanami but tried to school your expression into somewhat of a polite look so that you could greet them properly, hoping none of your friends has seen that.

But they had and you could see that in their smirks. Bastards (affectionately).

You wondered at the back of your head how Yūji would react when he saw his idol in such a phase. He would surely greet Nanami more enthusiastically than ever before and wasn’t Haibara doing all that already.

Well, all introverts needed and extroverted friend as you saw the scene in front of you. Satoru and Haibara forcefully putting party hats on Suguru and Nanami respectively while Shoko unenthusiastically blew the party popper.

You loved it here.

Another development that came with second year was Suguru and Satoru. Though they tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, you could see how they chased after each other, eyes locked with each other, Satoru ‘We are the strongest’ and how they looked at each other.

You were happy and most of all, Satoru smiled a lot more freely and there was a light in his eyes that was lost during his time.

So you kept quiet between the two of them as soon you gravitated towards Shoko, leaving them to their own devices, promising yourself that you would keep this joy, no matter what the cost was.

As your year progressed, you got sent to more missions but perhaps the most interesting was the one where you were assigned to eliminate curses at a graveyard. No matter how much of a façade Satoru and Suguru put up in front of everyone, you knew that they were afraid of ghosts and all.

Clearly evident from your late night movie sessions. You loved them, truly, but you loved messing with them even more. You took an undying joy in messing with all of them so as soon as you entered the graveyard, you took a page out of Toge-senpai’s book and started.

“Ikura?"

Satoru and Suguru turned towards you in horror and said, “What the fuck?"

“Tuna mayo"

Satoru eyes widened and he shook you by your shoulders and asked, “What happened to you? Tell me. We are the strongest,” pointing towards Suguru and himself, “We’ll deal with it."

“Shake, shake,” you said, continuing to find pleasure in their pain as Suguru and Satoru panicked and tried calling Shoko but sadly, it was out of their network coverage.

Your fun lasted till the curse appeared but not before they reached their hysterical levels.

Due to your versatile technique, you often tagged along with both your friends and Nanami and Haibara so it was no wonder when you got assigned to protect Riko Amanai, the star plasma vessel.

She was a sweet girl. Truly and even more better when she dissed Satoru and Suguru.

But the thing was, you knew where this would end.

As you boarded the flight for Okinawa to forced Satoru to sleep, reassuring that you and Suguru would look after them.

Satoru needed to sleep to fight what came after their trip. The sorcerer killer was behind your tails and you knew what you had to do to stop him.

You weren’t the strongest. Not like Satoru and Suguru. You were just you and you could not fight Toji Fushiguro one-on-one.

You kept the two of them well rested, forcing to sleep and going through the trouble of keeping yourself awake, all so that Riko-san won’t die.

As soon as you landed back in Tokyo, Toji stopped you so you sent off Suguru and Riko and Kuroi-san away and told them to use the rainbow dragon.

You held his hands tightly, and pleaded with him to deal with the taste (Yūji told you it tasted like vomit, Suguru told you it tasted like a vomit cleaning rag) for you. As they begged you to come along with them, you stood your ground and said, “Satoru may be the strongest, but even the hero needs a supporting cast."

You fought for your life, using all the techniques and trainings you had from both your lives but exhaustion ran its course faster as you gave the upper hand to Toji and the last thing you heard before you choked out blood and your vision blackened was a shout of your name.

Maybe you could rest now.

The next time you properly woke up, your heart swelled at the sight around.

Shoko cleaned her medical instruments as she hummed, Satoru and Suguru seemingly had opted to falling asleep holding each other but most all,

Riko Amanai was alive.

You looked at your hands and when you noticed that there was. no IV drips attached you tried getting down from the bed but stumbled which alerted the surrounding members.

Shoko slapped you on your head. Suguru and Satoru held onto you as tightly as you could and even after Suguru let go, Satoru held on. You felt wetness in your shirt but you kept quiet.

They would be fine. You would be okay.

“Are the two of you just adopting children now?"

Your eyes widened as you took the sight in front of you.

Nanako and Mimiko, two girls that Suguru brought back from a mission were absolute sweethearts.

As you turned over towards Satoru’s side, a pain shot through your heart. Megumi Fushiguro looked up to you, holding tight onto the hands of a girl who you could only assume as Tsumiki. Your voice choked seeing him and you wondered, what about you. Was younger you still there, somewhere present?

“Hah, I guess," Suguru rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment, Satoru looking away while trying to sneak off. “You're not going anywhere." You grab his shirt and pull him close to you.

“They didn't have any family, and were being treated terribly. C'mon," Suguru pleads his case, the two girls hiding timidly behind him.

You look over at the two. (They couldn't be more than 10) You think to yourself. You sigh. “Fine, don't blame me when Yaga has questions," you shrug. “Never thought i would he a teen parent, but here I am."

Suguru smiles and urges to kids to walk with him and you. “ ‘Toru, when I said I’m becoming a teen parent, it is also to the two of your children."

(Megumi was your best friend, your mind supplied. He wasn’t your child. You weren’t supposed to be here.)

You stop and turn around to Suguru. He watches you bend down to be on the level of the children, a soft smile is presented on your face.

“When was the last time you've eaten?" You softly ask them. You visibly pause at the answer, wondering who could disregard four little children so much.

A sigh leaves your lips as you stand up. rolling your sleeves up, you smile at them, your eyes crescents, “Seems like I'll have to cook tonight."

“Ooooooh could you make—!" Satoru attempts to speak, his mouth watering at the sound of you cooking, knowing how good your food can be. However, he's interrupted by your finger pressing against his lips. “Its not for you, Satoru Gojo. You'll get my cooking later, but not right now," you explain.

Satoru loudly groans and sports a pout as he walks with you.

“Tsumiki, would you mind sharing a pair of shorts or pajamas with Nanako and Mimiko for the night? I'll shop tomorrow for some clothes, again,” you said. Tsumiki nods happily. "kay!" she gets down from her seat and the other kids follow her.

You turn towards Megumi who is left behind, you get down to his level, hold his little hands and said, “I think I might have some clothes that shrunk. You can have those."

His innocent little eyes shone, a small smile lighting his face and your heart hurt.

(You missed your Megumi. You missed your Nobara. You missed your Yūji.)

(You loved them and they would never know.)

The next mission you go, it was with Nanami and Yū.

It was a close call no wonder, with Yū almost losing his life but you were faster than the curse, quickly demolishing it before it could take a full life away from him.

Nanami gratefully looked at you as the three of you trudged home after the mission, not before you packed some sweets for Satoru and Suguru.

You saved them. You kept your promise.

Nobody predicted the day you died. It started out sunny and you babysitting Nanako, Mimiko, Tsumiki and Megumi who had a holiday from school.

You made food for everyone as you do every morning and then reported to class where you were assigned to a mission with Shoko.

Missions with Shoko were fun and often rare. Due to her Reversed Curse Technique, she was kept in school while others went away but there were times where she was required on field.

It was a normal mission until the Special Grades appeared. You had never seen such monstrous curses before and you took one look at its hostages and Shoko and you knew what to do.

You fought as fiercely as you could, defeating them and protecting the people around them but you failed to save yourself as you suffered a lethal injury.

You stumbled over to Shoko, wanting to spend your last few minutes alive with aa person you knew and loved. As she saw you, tears streamed down her face and you wiped it off as much as you could.

The both of you knew it was too late to save you and you were destined to die.

(No, you had been destined to die a long time back, when you time travelled. You had been living on borrowed time)

She held your hands and you said, “Could you rummage through my pockets and find two pictures for me."

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak without bursting into tears. As she found the pictures and handed them to you, you smiled at the last sight of your this life and your previous one and said, “Hey Shoko, you’re my one and only so let’s meet in the next lifetime, promise?"

You closed your eyes for the final time, even before you could hear her answer.

It rained heavily that day. It seemed as the skies itself mourned the lost of such a precious person.

(You smiled even as you laid dying as you saw your loved ones, albeit in a picture for the last time.)

(You loved them, but they would never know)

Your funeral was held in a grand manner. After all, you have loved so freely, affecting and changing everyone’s life as you passed.

Satoru and Suguru held their kids as they mourned the loss of a parent agin, but this time they actually cared.

Satoru schooled his expression but everyone could see the hatred that he aimed at the elders for assigning you that mission. But all he could feel was empty because you were the first one to accept him as Satoru Gojo, a kid.

Shoko cried and cried, tears not stopping as Utahime tried to comfort her as much sash could but no one could really understand the pain a doctor felt for someone to pass away by their own hands.

Suguru felt anger but he could only think of how you would scold him for that. It was never your fault. You loved as you lived. You laughed as you enjoyed. You were a simple person.

(Love is perhaps the most twisted curse of them all.)

Suguru finds you again in a young child that comes to get into Jujutsu Tech.

The child looked just like you from head to toe and it didn’t’t take even a moment’s hesitation to admit you in.

He calls Satoru and Shoko to see you and they too are surprised. He sees the tears welling up on Shoko’s face as she says, “They told me that they hoped to meet us in another lifetime."

You hated child soldiers with a passion, righteous down to the deepest bone and Suguru’s mind screamed at him, telling him it was you.

(Only you gave your love this freely.)

Satoru held his hands and said, “We’ve been given a chance to do better, to save them ‘cause we couldn’t previously. We’ll do it better this time."

Yes they would as they watched you talk to Megumi as easy as it goes.

(You were back. They missed you and you missed them but you were back and they would promise to tell you that they loved you for you told them far too many times)

(You loved them and they loved you back)

[writers-advocate]

more than physical | j.w.

description: you can’t keep watching him destroy himself

cw: breakups

disclaimer: i would never willingly leave this man but a friend of mine told me i should try to detach so d:,)

“i can’t do this anymore.”

nothing has ever hurt more. no amount of blades, bullets, or beatings. broken bones, bruises. not even the stitching you just finished. those words ring through his head and seem to bounce off every pain receptor in his body.

you’re no better. but you can’t even make eye contact, so he can’t tell. “i can’t… i can’t do it anymore.”

those same dark eyes that you fell in love with, that you are in love with, you can feel them boring into the side of your head and you stand up quickly, packing away the bloody tools to clean up later.

“you come back worse and worse every time. i’ve begged you to leave. to run away. i’ve begged you to hide. anything. just,” your voice breaks and you bite down on your knuckle to ground yourself, inhaling shakily through your nose. “anything but going out there every night.”

he stands up suddenly, looming over you, but you refuse to look up, clutching the makeshift med kit like a lifeline. he would never hurt you, that much you know, but he wouldn’t have to try to do it. seeing his face would be enough to break you.

“tell me the truth.” he’s always been soft spoken but the strain in his voice brings an overwhelming amount of tears to your eyes. you fight the urge to blink so as to keep them from falling.

“i want you to leave.”

he takes ahold of your jaw and it pulls a quiet gasp from you. it doesn’t hurt, but you couldn’t move away if you tried, and he forces you to look up at him. to anyone else he would look unaffected but you know him. you can see him.

the slight tremble of his lips. the small ‘v’ between his brows. the tension in his shoulders, like he’s just waiting for the dam to break.

“look at me, and tell me the truth.”

tears are running down your face and the urge to fall into his arms and beg him to stay is overwhelming.

“i want you gone by morning.”

weak. you’re still weak. you see the blood staining his skin, the purple blooming along his cheek bone, and you can’t bring yourself to make him go now.

the steadiness of your voice is what causes him to pull away. you mean it. you do. he doesn’t say a word. just stares at you, and you can’t understand why.

he wants to remember you. he could never keep pictures but he never worried because he could always come back to you.

he just wants to remember you.

you say his name. no “baby.” no “johnny.” no pet names that he’d grown far too accustomed to. that’s what settles him back into reality, what drives home why he must remember you. and suddenly he’s moving, heading straight for the door.

you say his name again and he pauses with his hand on the doorknob. he wants to stay, make you admit that this isn’t what you want. make you forget about his world. make you forget everything but his name. but instead he murmurs a simple, “goodbye.”

the sound of the door closing brings you to your knees. the sound of your muffled sobs brings him to his. nobody wins tonight. and when he’s back out on the street, nobody is granted the mercy he’s just lost.

a/n: ​definitely pictured young!john for this

[lupizora]

(This was my entry to the @/dcmkkaishinevents server's One Prompt Challenge of 2024 with the theme: He was, unfortunately, very handsome. Things became pretty chaotic ever since I posted it on AO3 back in the end of March, so I kind of forgot to post it here too hahah 😅 Hope you have a good time reading it!)

Title: Healing Touch

Genre:  Hurt/Comfort

Pairing: KaiShin

Rating: M (TW: Hospitals, hints to Suicidal Ideation, Minor Medical Procedures)

Word Count: 2,545

Summary: [Is it a dance, if they’re both pretending?] or Kaito wakes up in the hospital after crash-landing his glider, only to find Shinichi in the neighboring bed (who, for reasons unknown, is acting as if finding an unmasked KID is nothing out of the ordinary)

Voices ebbed and flowed like waves on a distant rocky shore.

Kaito was drifting in and out of consciousness.

The steady beeping from some kind of machinery and several shoes scuffing hurriedly on the floor served as additional undertones to his surroundings. Amid this cacophony, the voices were something substantial to lock on and focus. Each individual's timbre, from high and squeaky to low and sonorous, carried its own melody and tune. Speech patterns and word choices could reveal a lot about a person’s inner world. But none of these were an exact science.

Kaito hadn’t perfected his ability to that degree anyway.

It had begun as a game with his father. Back then, Kaito had been absorbing every trick in the book—even if his application of it turned out lacking. He had to experiment and learn as much as he could before settling on his path as a magician. Mimicking voices had been just one of those skills he shelved away as a kid, deeming it useless for anything other than practical jokes and pranks.

The irony was not lost on Kaito when impersonating anyone at the drop of a hat became vital to his career as the Phantom Thief KID. He had stumbled at first, his years of idleness making his voice crack at all the wrong times. But he persisted and insisted; until the disguises were the disposable props in this equation.

Now even that doesn’t matter.

Kaito’s first coherent thought blazed through his mind like a flash fire. It startled him, dispelling the hazy murmur of voices in the background.

Awareness returning to his body, Kaito found himself lying on a soft but firm mattress. Every part of him throbbed with the dull tune of pain. His left hand, draped over the edge of the bed, had some kind of object tugging uncomfortably at the inner side of his elbow. Something warm and featherweight was pressed against the back of his curled fingers. Kaito used this sensation to ground himself in reality and took a deep breath.

The sterile smell of antiseptic filled his lungs, the conversations around him clearing up enough for him to understand solid words. Somebody was calling for a nurse. Another was complaining about how long they had been waiting. A kid wailed in the distance, akin to an ambulance’s siren.

A hospital? Kaito wondered before his memories breached the fuzzy dam of sweet bliss. Realization hit him with the same force he had smashed on the ground. A hospital!

Kaito sat up in a hurry.

His heart hammered like a caged bird in his chest.

Light assaulted his eyes, burning them with its whiteness.

Disorientated, he blindly patted his arm.

Soft tube.

Under his skin.

Probably an IV.

Just as he took hold of it, ready to pull, a foreign hand grabbed his wrist.

“Don’t yank it out!” This voice—young, male, authoritative—tickled the edge of familiarity.

Opening slowly his bleary eyes, the fuzzy figure of a person greeted Kaito.

The other guy was leaning sideways from the neighboring bed. His deathly grip on the headboard prevented him from keeling over the space between them. Attached to the arm he was using to hold Kaito’s wrist—right above the turned-up sleeve of a white shirt—he had an IV drip of his own.

“Are you stupid?” he asked, heaving. “You’ll bleed out if you pull it like that.”

Even the chewing out sounds familiar, Kaito lamented in the privacy of his head. Where’s my brilliant quick thinking? I could use some help right about now…

There was one curious detail he was starting to notice though. His previously spiked heartbeat had slowed down.

Odd.

The other gently shook Kaito’s arm. “Hey, are you with me?”

“Yeah. All my marbles are their rightful in place.” Kaito shook his head. “I mean. I’m aware and listening. Can I have my hand back?”

“If you promise me that you won’t do anything hasty, and will let me take a look at it.”

Kaito’s vision, like a viewfinder coming into focus, finally cleared. Realizing who was the altruist worrying for his health, only served to complicate things further. Since the person who had immediately jumped into action to help him was no other than the Great Detective in the flesh.

Although, upon closer inspection, Shinichi looked quite haggard himself. His suit pants were peppered with shallow cuts. If the discoloration of skin near his collarbone was any indication, more bruises were blooming under his shirt. Thankfully, his face didn’t suffer a lot of damage besides a split lower lip and a scratch on his forehead.

Shinichi cocked his eyebrow towards that exact wound. “So?”

Kaito blinked. Right. He’s expecting a reply.

“Sure, I promise.”

“Good,” Shinichi breathed out.

After going through the motions of sitting properly at the edge of the bed, he flagged down a nurse for fresh gauze and latex gloves. The nurse asked some standard questions to Kaito, but otherwise, she didn’t seem bothered by Shinichi’s request.

If anything, Kaito was the one puzzled that his name didn’t receive any reaction. So, while the Great Detective was preparing to help him out of the IV drip, Kaito took stock of his own appearance. The answer staring back at him was ridiculously simple. He was wearing his slacks and a hoodie instead of the KID outfit. No wonder he hadn’t been recognized.

But this brings another question, doesn’t it? Kaito thought. Should I play the fool?

Gloved fingers trailing against his forearm snapped him back into the present. In any other situation, this could have been part of some nightmare. Kaito had seen his fair share of quack doctors performing horror surgeries on him if he ever got his hands on Pandora.

But Shinichi sat still. His expression relaxed and open, offering an invitation for Kaito to take the initiative. It was so bizarre to be treated like a regular civilian without any mask or disguise to hide behind.

Against his better judgment, Kaito placed his arm in the Great Detective’s hands.

They were warm. His fingers gently prodded the area around the inserted tube, picking apart the dressing and the transparent tape holding it in place. Quite not as surprisingly, Shinichi was putting the same care and attention he allotted to clues and evidence onto this.

Kaito felt a little twitchy being scrutinized like that, even if it wasn’t for doing something illegal. Years of muscle memory from soccer balls flying at high velocity toward his face were hard to override.

So, he opted for some small talk. “What are you, an intern?”

“No. I’m a detective,” Shinichi deadpanned.

“What?!” Kaito made a show of trying to pull his hand away. “Do you even know what you’re doing?”

“Yes. I may not be a physician, but I know a few key things. Waiting for the coroner to make the first call is tedious. Sometimes, I need to identify the proper cause of death and find the culprit before it’s too late.” Shinichi’s hold remained steady and gentle. “Now, stop squirming. You will aggravate it.”

“Aye, sir.”

As more skin was becoming more visible by the minute, the unpleasant kind of squirming settled in his gut.

Kaito redirected his gaze to the room around them. Their beds were occupying the corner near the end of the Emergency Room. A beige curtain separated them from the rest of the beds in their line-up and their occupants, giving them a little privacy. Not that Kaito minded. Not at all, actually. There were worse people to get stuck in the hospital with, more so having them witness his earlier freakout. He wasn’t here as KID, after all.

“Alright. I’m ready,” Shinichi said. “This is going to hurt a little. So, stay still.”

Your understanding of “a little” might be kinda skewed, Detective. Kaito nodded despite his reservations.

Furrowing his brows, Shinichi seemed to search for something in Kaito’s expression. “If it’s making you nervous, you could close your eyes.”

“Thanks, but that would have the opposite effect. I can’t leave the fate of my arm to some run-of-the-mill sleuth, can I?” Kaito crumbled the sheets with his free hand. “Put yourself in my shoes. Who are you, acting all nonchalant without a license?”

Shinichi chuckled. It was short-lived and almost unnoticeable, but the soft sound of it rattled Kaito to the bone.

“I’m kind of a big deal though,” Shinichi meekly said. “I just don’t like bragging about it anymore. Brings more trouble than it’s worth.”

Kaito wanted to laugh at this scenario reaching a new level of absurdity. Instead, he closed his eyes. “Okay, Mr. Hot Stuff. We both have places to be—stuff to do. Let's get this over with.”

He received only an agreeable hum in return. Shinichi’s fingers tightened around Kaito's elbow while his other hand started the procedure. All things considered, the pain wasn’t worse than getting shot at or whenever the belts of KID’s glider would dig deeper after a risky maneuver. Still uncomfortable, still painful. Kaito had never thought he would want to hide his emotions behind a Poker Face for something like this. But he came close, moments before it was over.

Pressing the folded gauze at the wound, Shinichi instructed Kaito how to keep applying pressure to it for a bit. “You took it like a champ,” he added with a smile. “I haven’t heard of anyone holding themselves this well together.”

“What can I say? My pain tolerance might be higher than I expected. Although—” Kaito leaned forward, scoffing— “I have to hope this wasn’t an experiment on your part.”

“Do I look like that sort of person?” Shinichi said, placing the remnants in the porcelain bowl the nurse had provided. His posture gave nothing away. Even the act of taking off his gloves, to throw them away, was done with a grace usually reserved for springing up his deductions on suspects.

What you look like right now is, unfortunately, a very handsome bastard. How did you become so smooth while I wasn’t looking for a couple of years?

Kaito’s inner complaints screeched to a halt when Shinichi took ahold of his hand again.

“May I ask what are you doing, Detective…sir?” Kaito squeaked.

“I noticed something while taking out your IV. Your arm is covered by scratches at weird angles.” Shinichi’s fingers trailed lightly along the wounds from elbow to wrist. “As if you dropped from the air into several thorny bushes and rolled down a hill full of them.”

This conjecture, while close, was not exactly accurate. Kaito had indeed crash-landed earlier amidst one of the parks still retaining its wild forest roots. But the weird angle came from the glider flying through the foliage before hitting the ground. It left Kaito wondering if the Great Detective was losing his touch or if this was the real test appearing at last.

Shinichi didn’t comment on the other’s prolonged silence. His inspection had reached Kaito’s palm and fingers. “These nicks here are more varied. Some old, some new. They are usually made from shuffling cards.” Looking up, he leveled his gaze with Kaito’s. “Are you a gambler?”

Kaito was positive he was messing with him—to what end, was still to be determined. “Sure. I've gambled my life on something that didn't matter in the end. One might say I wanted to soothe my frustrations with this daredevilish stunt today.”

Shinichi's expression darkened.

“I'm only kidding,” Kaito said with a self-deprecating laugh. “These are from practicing tricks. I'm a budding magician, as a side gig and all.”

“So, you're just an adrenaline junkie.” There it was—that troubled furrow on his brow again. “I find it hard to believe when the proof of your hard work is right in front of me.”

Offering a one-shouldered shrug, Kaito used his free hand to sweep Shinichi’s bangs away from his eyes. “Is it that hard? All great artists hit a wall they can’t overcome at some point. Inspiration dries up. Ideas aren’t working, not due to lack of trying, but from the sheer effort they need to come to fruition. Sometimes, there is nothing more you can do than give up and—”

The words stopped in Kaito’s throat. Shinichi had laced their fingers together.

“No,” the Great Detective said; a simple declaration ringing like the true final one. “You don’t get to throw down the mantle until I catch you fair and square, or you find what you’ve been looking for all along. Use me if you have to! I won’t settle for anything less.”

Laughter exploded; loud, unrestrained, and unapologetic. It took a moment for Kaito to recognize it was coming from him. He didn’t stop though. He laughed and laughed and laughed until he was running out of air. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes and he wiped them out with the back of his free hand. All the while, Shinichi didn’t let go.

“You are truly an incomprehensible piece of work. You know that, right?” Kaito asked, after coming down from his outburst. “What sort of detective sides with the internationally wanted thief? And for what?”

Shinichi glanced at their joined hands. “The kind of selfish idiot who doesn’t want to let go of the thief that easily. Can’t have you dying on me before I solve your case.”

“I’m not—is that why you’re here? I’m pretty sure I called the ambulance myself!”

“You did, huh?” Shinichi cupped his chin in thought. “Was I that wrong in my estimate?”

“Yes. Maybe? It was a lapse of judgment on my part. I still very much like living, I’ll have you know!” A headache was building behind his eyes, so Kaito buried his face in Shinichi’s shoulder. He didn’t miss the flinch. “How did you end up here, if it wasn’t on purpose? Messed with the wrong crowd again?”

“Believe it or not, today was a lapse of judgment for me too.”

“The scandal!”

Shinichi pinched Kaito’s cheek. “I let my guard down during surveillance. Those mobsters I was following jumped me when I was least expecting it.”

“Mobsters? Wasn’t that a little out of your depth? I thought private investigators mostly deal with hunting down cheaters and marriage affairs, that sort of stuff?”

“A case is a case as long as it’s interesting.”

It was Kaito’s turn to give him a once-over. “Good thing they didn’t damage your face too badly. Your mother would have cried rivers upon rivers of tears.”

“As if you care about that. It would have been harder to impersonate me. That’s all,” Shinichi said with an eye roll.

“Am I such a despicable person in your eyes? I simply expressed my genuine worries about your health.” Cupping Shinichi’s chin, Kaito run his thumb over the split lip. “Is that too much for my reckless, handsome Great Detective?”

Slipping from Kaito’s loose hold, Shinichi pushed him back to his own bed. He quickly laid down himself. “The painkillers in your system are messing with your brain. Get some rest and we’ll talk in the morning, you weirdo.”

Although Shinichi’s back was turned, Kaito could swear he heard him say: “Take better care of yourself, idiot thief. You're not half-bad either.”

[asmrbrainrot]

The Gator Boys & The Moon Witch Ch4~

Slivers of the misty moonlight slipped in through the cabin window, scattering glowing fractals of light across the kitchen. Tonight had been…wild, to say the least. It was touch and go for awhile, but Timmy did surprisingly well under the pressure, and the two even managed to get Bodie (The man’s name, as she had figured out) back to his own bed where he was now sound asleep.

The younger gator on the other hand, did no such thing. Since Bodie had been stable, Timothy busied himself with any task he could find, no matter how trivial. Only now, had he found himself with literally nothing more to do than sit and wait. Esther placed her broom basket, (containing one sleeping Bella) in the corner of the room, glancing over at Timmy. The boy sat on a worn down old sofa, dark bags circling his sleep deprived eyes. The boy looked… well just terrible to be quite honest. But aside from the physical exhaustion it seemed that being left alone with nothing but his thoughts was eating at him.

Esther took the liberty of sitting down next to the fatigued youngster. “You were really brave, y'know.” She commented, “even if your plan wasn’t exactly-” she trailed off as stifled hiccups escaped the young man. He had been bottling up for what felt like forever, and now he had nothing to distract him. He drew his hands up to his face in a vain attempt to dam the river of emotion. A gentle touch guided them away. Timothy gazed up at the woman, watery, amber pools of remorse met deep, mahogany eyes. “Is my- is he?” He faltered, “is he gonna be okay?” The woman paused, studying the boy’s downcast expression. “He ain’t out of the woods yet, but the worst has passed.” She reassured, “We caught it in the nick of time too.” The halfblood seemed to calm somewhat at the women’s words. “He’s lucky to have you ya’know.” She commented, giving the boy a nudge with her shoulder. Despite her efforts this only seemed to worsen Timmy’s mood. His leathery tale wrapped around his legs, (which where now in the fetal position.) “No, um he-he’s really not.” He hiccuped, finally succumbing to the flood of emotion that he had been holding back for some time now.

Quiet, shivering sobs escaped the halfblood, as he cupped his face, ashamed. Esther placed a gentle hand on the boy’s shoulder as he wept. Careful not to overwhelm him, she let the gator cry it out. Cry away all that poison that had been hurting him, all the guilt weighing him down. After what felt like hours Timothy was finally able to catch his breath. “I’m so sorry sweet pea,” she cooed, “I can only imagine you’ve got about a dozen bees in your bonnet right now…but you’ve got to understand this isn’t your fault-” “But it is!” The boy shot back, swatting the woman’s hand away, “He’s got shot because of me! Because I was being stupid! If I had just been more careful then maybe…” Timothy withdrew a little, Bodie would have tanned his hyde for snapping so rudely at anyone, let alone someone who had been so kind. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to- you've been so kind! And I just…” he faltered, observing Esther’s expression, “You didn’t deserve that, I’m sorry.”

The woman watched Timmy’s expression fall once more. “I was out fishin on the far side a’the swamp… didn’t tell Bodie where I was going, an when he came lookin for me, we were ambushed…'' he explained tearfully. Esther listened, she understood the feeling. “Exactly, ambushed.” She reaffirmed, “Listen we’re both plum wore out. Why don’t you get some sleep and we can sort this out in the morning?” “But what about-” “Dont worry I’ll watch over him.” Esther interjected. The boy nodded, still unconvinced but to tired to protest. Curling up on the couch the young man quickly nodded off. Esther withdrew a soft cotton blanket from her bag, placing it over the sleeping halfblood. “One more thing…” she mumbled. Squatting down to the broom basket, the witch gingerly scooped up the sleeping Bella, before placing her at Timmy’s side. The sleepy pup looked up at her mom, glassy black eyes protesting the move. “I’m sorry baby.” She whispered, “but he needs you right now.” The little fluff ball gave a begrudging huff before settling down at the boys side. Although neither Esther nor Timmy took notice of it, a small smile crossed the boy's face as he snuggled just a bit closer to Bella.

[jujurose222]

The Presence of the Unknowable

Crystal Woman: The Sisters of the Dreamtime

Lynn V. Andrews

"'You told me once about diving into a lagoon and seeing a moray eel coming slowly out of its hole in a cliff of coral. It was looking right at you. He was very territorial and would have bitten you, probably fatally, had you not backed away. If he had killed you, would that have been right or wrong?'

'Not great for me,' I said.

'It is what it is. If you're dead, you're dead. You were in his place and he didn't like that. Many other fish of the deep just swim with you. They don't care, yea. That eel is like a sorcerer. He doesn't like your presence near his domain. He lives in a different world. He gives you a warning, maybe and maybe not, and then he goes for you. That is the beginning, my daughter, of war, the instinct for possession. That eel may have been male or female. Would it have made a difference?'

'I'm not sure,' I said.

'If she were female she might kill you out of fear, fear that you would injure her young. In ancient times women were known as the most fierce fighters because of this platform of fear. If he were male he would kill you because he has marked his domain. There is something in a male that is in the very root of his being; he will go to war for what he claims as his property. This extends to the domain of ideas as well. He will destroy even himself for an idea. A woman will survive to be able to protect a belief structure that usually houses her family whether it be a family of ideas or children. So her basis for war usually is born of fear deep in the primal part of herself. War, like an idea or a belief system, is man's greatest addiction and his greatest vulnerability. A warring human likes to live on the sheer edge of life and death. Such a state can almost be sacred because it involves living intensely in the now. There's only one problem.'

'What's that?'

'That kind of now, the source of it, is illusion, yea. The illusion produced by addiction. That's how you can say that all experience is the same. That kind of experience is all the same. Because it all is born from addiction and it has one collective purpose, which is to keep you psychically asleep.'

'How is that different from the sacred now?'

"Only the shaman, the sorcerer, or the magician knows that kind of sacred now. Asa shaman you dwell in the almost fatal crack between light and darkness where the beings of mystery swim in unknown rivers of energy. As a shamaness you're like a cosmic architect building dams made of prayer sticks and lightning rods and you alter the shape and course of those rivers of energy. That is the power of creation. That too is a world of light and death and great danger. There are definite laws and formulas. But if you live through the initiations you have become the ultimate alchemist. Your own soul has burned through the agonizing fires of transformation and you become the goddess on earth. You can heal the mind and the heart of your suffering brothers and sisters because you have also suffered. You can change sand into gold. You know the ancient formula handed down through the ages, from one shaman to another, yea. Understand why you have been born. Not to hurt, but to heal and to teach. In a sense you have lived your whole life to be here with us in the Outback of Australia to heal Booru.' Ginevee had picked up one of the West crystals and was rubbing it between her palms . I weighed her words in my mind for a long time, until she handed me the crystal."

[talia-rumlow]

My Saviour (Rumlow X Reader) Chapter Fifty - How can you be so calm about this? I stabbed you!

You look from the angel and back to Rumlow. Then you swallow. You don’t know what to say. So you put your hand on his thigh. Carefully holding the angel with the other one.

– Do you want to talk about it?

He slowly turns his head towards you. His eyes already wet with tears. He is actually crying. This must be something really serious. He looks at the bandaid on your arm.

– I made it for my mom….

His voice breaking when he says the word «mom». Then he bends down, puts his face in his hands, and the dam breaks. He cries so hard, he’s shaking. You place the angel on the table, and put your arms around him. Resting your head on his upper arm.

– I’m sorry, Brock. If this is too hard. You don’t have to.

He sits back up, dry off his tears. Looks at you.

– You deserve to know, YN! I need for you to know.

You nod, slowly.

– She’s dead!

Again, you don’t know what to say. So you take his hand in yours. He squeezes it.

– Thank you, YN!

– For what?

– For sticking with me!

– I’ll never leave you, Brock!

Then he tells you. About how he made the angel at school. Used the colors his mom liked the most. Carved her name at the bottom of the angel. Eager to get home, to give it to her. Like every eight year old would be. And about how he found his mom, lying on the kitchen floor, when he got home. And how difficult his life became after that. How he was moved from foster home to foster home, never finding his true place in life. How he acted out. Got into fights, and never excelled at school. And how he eventually in-listed in the military.

When he’s done talking. He just looks at you.

– Where is your father?

He squeezes your hand again.

– Dead!

He says it without any emotion. Not like when he talked about his mom. It’s like his father never existed to him. You swallow..

– Did…

– He killed her!

This is insane! How can anyone survive a loss like that? Losing both parents at such a young age… You felt bad too, when your parents made the choice about you. But at least they’re both still alive.

– So I killed him!

His voice so hard it almost scares you. He killed his own father?

– He didn’t just kill her, YN. He killed a part of me that day. And I promised myself that I would never feel anything ever again. And I managed that…. Until you showed up!

You? What does he mean?

– I… I never ment for…

He carefully lifts your face up to his.

– I didn’t mean it like that! I fell in love with you. I love you, YN! And I treated you like shit! And now… now I hurt you!

He touches the bandaid.

– It… It was an accident, Brock. It happens!

– Not with me. I TOLD Pierce that I didn’t want to do this. And I don’t understand why he insisted that I do it. Rollins is just as good as me. To draw a knife on a woman.. That’s something I swore I’d never do!

He starts to bend over again. So you strattle him. Grab his face with both hands, look him in the eye.

– Brock! Listen to me! I love you. And you didn’t draw a knife on me. We were sparring. Training. Accidents do happen you know.

– How can you be so calm about this? I stabbed you!

You place a soft kiss on his lips.

– No you didn’t, Brock. The knife hit my arm. If anything it was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention. Look. Let’s take a break. Get some food or something. And then we’ll find a different way to do this. A way that doesn’t get any of us hurt. Sounds good?

He nods.

– I love you, YN!

You smile at him, then you kiss him again.

– I love you too, Brock!

Your lips meet again. The kiss is so good, you don’t realise that he removes your gear belt.

– Come here, princess!

He stands up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. Between kisses and soft bites on your neck, he carries you into the bedroom.

You’ve never had this kind of experience with him before. At least not the sex part. He is so soft and tender. Exploring your whole body with his hands. Slowly removing your clothes, as well as his own. It’s like the most romantic thing you’ve ever experienced.

He’s usually rough, dominant, dirty talker. Not this time. This time he’s different. Takes his time with you. Only concentrating on you. No handcuffs. No orders. No hard or dirty talk. When he finally gets on top of you, you’re aching for him, all of him. His eyes on yours, when he enters you.

– You are so beautiful! I love you!

You touch his chest. Carefully exploring every part, every muscle.

– I love you too, Brock!

Having him inside you, and hearing him talking to you in this soothing, romantic way, is if possible even better than the rough dominant way. Feeling him massaging your walls every time he moves himself back and forth inside of you. His breathing and his moans in your ear, and against your skin. His lips tasting your skin, and yours tasting his.

– I… I can’t hold it anymore, YN!

You don’t answer. Instead you kiss his neck the way you know drives him insane. His moans, when he’s coming, is one of the sexiest sounds you’ve ever heard. He stays on top of you for a while. Looking at you. Before he lies down beside you. Pulling you close to him.

– I’m sorry, YN!

– For what?

– I didn’t.. You didn’t finish!

You smile at him.

– Brock.. It was amazing!

– Yes, it was.. But you still didn’t finish!

– It’s no big deal, Brock. It’s not like I expect to finish every time.

He slides his fingers up and down your spine. You lean your head back, and close your eyes. And Rumlow kisses your neck..

– It’s a big deal for me, YN! I want you to feel good!

He continues to kiss your neck.

– Mmmmmm.. You do…

– Then let me make you finish….

His fingers finds your clit. Massaging it. The feeling in indescribable. After everything this is insanely intense. His lips on your neck. And his fingers stroking back and forth over your clit.

– Goooood! Aaahhhaaa!

– Yes, princess! Do you like it?

– Yes! Don’t stop!

Soft bites on your neck.

– I’ll never stop. You’re so beautiful like this, YN!

You can feel that you are close. You almost forget how to breathe. Every muscle in your body is preparing for the tsunami that’s about to come, rushing over you. You move your head so you can see him.

– Look at me, Brock!

He ups the pace on his fingers. Looks at you, smiling. Then the wave hits. You grab his arm, holding it in place.

– You are so incredibly beautiful when you’re coming!

He continues to move his fingers over you. Your whole body spasms. Your moans echoing in the walls. You’re so sensitive his touch almost hurts. But you keep your grip of his arm. Looking into his eyes, looking at you with so much love, so much compassion, so much…

Finally he stops. Lets you breathe out the last few waves. Then he kisses you. A long, slow, soft kiss.

– I want you forever, YN!

– I am yours, Brock! Forever!

@nekoannie-chan @bat-mar @here4thefanfics @late-to-the-party-81 @there-goes-thefighter

Check out the My Saviour Masterlist HERE!

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[ellocat-poemyourpainaway]

A love letter to my dead soul mate.

Like a bee sting that I never got the stinger out of

You tickle the back of my brain

And inhabit my spaces.

The atheist in me thinks you’re just gone

The romantic in me hopes it’s not true

Feels you in the wind caressing my cheek

On the moonlit trails at night,

Wishes you

Were in the air I breathe

So you could come inside me

And feel the love that still

Lives there.

A man that loved me-so he says-

Yelled, in his hoarse, smokes too much, goat voice,

That I still “love this *igga”-that I still “write poems about the mother fucker”.

Called you a dope head.

But he doesn’t understand

We were love like a cliff jumping

Waterfall

We were undeniable and

Irresistible

Young Wild hearts drawn like magnets

We were the song.

The Tricia Yearwood song,

“She’s in love with the boy”,

I feel you when I hear the lines-

Outside the tasty freeze, he slipped something on her hand

“My High school ring will have to do, till I can buy a wedding ring”

We were rough-nit tornado love-

Nothing to our names,

Defying everyone to be together.

We were in love.

We were.

I convinced myself we weren’t so I’d leave.

Because I couldn’t continue to survive the way you’d treat me-

In your slavery to addiction, you betrayed and hurt me,

Hurt us,

Hurt yourself,

Hurt our family.

Over. And over. Again.

But-we were mad about each other.

It was us against the world -

Swim to the dam and jump

Off the palisades,

Creek walking to crawdaddy hunt,

We were camping and woodsmoke-

Can’t keep my eyes off you,

Let’s do something crazy and just

Get married;

We were epic.

I think that’s why the stinger stays in.

It’s hard to explain,

People don’t understand.

The kids even-

They just remember all your lies and dysfunction,

The arrogant toxicity,

The bullying abuse,

They don’t know;

You were my Clyde.

Part of me knows it’s crazy-

But I Still blow dandelion seeds and hope one of them finds you with the words

“I love you”

Whispered in a reverence,

A prayer,

A forever glowing ember;

I love you.

I hope you can hear me.

[cinnamonest]

Bit bonkerz but I'm obsessed with the idea of modern au Razor being a straight up like, feral child you find one day by total accident. Some beautiful ethereal wild savage youth you just happen to bump into in the forest or the park or in your backyard, completely naked, long hair plastered over him all silvery and wet.

Poor kid probably can't even talk, his ability to communicates long been thoroughly shot, and his canon poor manners are like, doubly bad. Maybe he's actually rather quiet and well behaved because he's placid in an environment that's totally different from the one he's used too (that being the woods) but his attachment issues are off the charts and he sticks to you like *glue*. Plus, his hormones are going nuts around you given he's not been around girls before. All this time they've been bubbling beneath the surface for so so long without a target, as no human females have been present in his upbringing. But the second he sees you, the moment he's attached, the urge to just *breed* and fuck you is nigh on intolerable. His sex drive is bursting like a dam, its voracious, and what's worse is he doesn't understand a lick of consent either. He doesn't understand he's trying to rape you and not just...mate. Become as intimately close as possible to this one protective human in his life that actually gives a *damn* about him.

And of course you feel truly *awful* about taking him in because he clearly wants to fuck you but just can't comprehend the gravity of such an inappropriate need. It's made even worse by the fact he's only learned one word and it revolves around you: "*mama*" - which shows that his staunch attraction has evolved to possess familial, incestuos, layers as well. Made all the more obvious by his constant greedy little habit of suckling and nursing and snuggling on your tits for hours on end (in much the way cats that are weaned too young often do)

His mind is stunted and broken; he can barely hold a pencil right or count or say his ABC's. But you know that simply dumping him into one of those awful homes for troublesome boys because he's too much to handle, or one of those 'schools' for underdeveloped/mentally impaired youths could lead to a greater worsening of his already irreparable trauma - you don't trust those people to truly care for him. The guilt is overwhelming and you feel heinous whenever he comes to you buck naked, making unintelligible noises, asking for cuddles, asking for sex, but the idea of pushing him away, even if it's for good reason feels unimaginably cruel. This sad pitiful boy has no one else to rely on and if no one but you can look after him, maybe you should just let him have what he wants for once.

YOOOOOO this hits me right in the soft spot this is what makes me clutch my chest longingly oh my GOD

I love the concept of feeling like you can't blame him or even be mad -- it's truly not his fault that he doesn't understand consent. He has no concept of it. So when he looks up at you with those soft puppy eyes and whimpers and ruts a hard-on into your thigh, how can you tell him no? The mere thought of breaking the fragile yet so precious attachment he's developed to you hurts.

Because it IS out of that connection that he wants this to begin with. Whenever he even looks at you he feels so happy, but he doesn't know how to tell you. It makes him feel warm and a heavy pressure right in that spot that feels so good to the touch, and there's just an urge he can't understand, and doesn't care to understand, only to act upon it.

And you also start to blame yourself in your head, once he finally breaks and holds you down and breeds you hard and fast. You think back to what you did to cause this, blame yourself. You allowed to to escalate, didn't you? You didn't tell him "no" when he started getting grabby. You didn't tell him "stop" when he started staring at your chest and legs and running his hands up under your clothes. You didn't push him away when he tried to bury his face into your chest. So of course he'd think this is okay. Stopping him now would only hurt his feelings, wouldn't it? Besides, better you than someone else, so he won't get in trouble.

And since it's really not his fault, you tell yourself, it would be so cruel to stop him now. Since it's due to your actions, you can never stop him without feeling some guilt... So it just goes on and on, over and over, until you reach a point where there's yet another reason, you've let it happen so many times that you would hurt him to say no now. An endless cycle that you don't know how to break, but sometimes, seeing how happy you make him, you're not sure if you want to.

[messers-moony]

Hope | R.L

Paring: Remus Lupin X Wife!Potter!Reader

Summary: Life is unfair in numerous ways but it seems like it’s out to get the Potters in every way shape and form.

A part of growing up means maturing. Maturing means realizing that the world is cruel and unfair. People die every day without a reason or a why. Children are born into this world every day with love or hatred. Growing up, parents tell their kids, “Life isn’t fair”. No one had experience unfairness like Y/n Potter and Remus Lupin.

He was right there. So close, only a few feet from her arms yet so far apart in that wretched woman’s arms who held him like he was the grossest thing she’s ever touched. Those enchanting green eyes that glistened with trauma and pain. The brown hair that started to sprout from his scalp, already messy and untidy.

“No! This isn’t fair!” Y/n wailed as Remus held her tight to his chest, “I’m his biological aunt! Please!”

The Minister of Magic was merciless, “And so is Mrs.Dursley.”

“She’s a muggle! Harry is bound to be a wizard!” Y/n cried in contradiction; the feeling to vomit became relentless, “They’ll torture him. Please, you have to let me have him.”

“With your current living situation, it isn’t safe, Mrs.Lupin.”

Remus grimaced at those words, “My current living situation? Are you daft!?”

“With Mr.Lupins…” The Minister pondered, “condition, it isn’t safe for him.”

“Remus wouldn’t hurt him.” Y/n sobbed quietly, “He’s never hurt me!”

“I’m sorry, Mrs.Lupin, but Harry Potter is the safest with Mrs. and Mr. Dursley.”

The gavel was hit upon another circle of wood, adjourning the meeting as a finality. This was it. The fight was over. Harry Potter would grow up in an unloving household that wouldn’t be capable of understanding his magic. This was the epitome of unfairness. Remus’ hands were on her waist, her back to his chest while she sobbed, trying to get him to release her.

Eventually, she collapsed to a heap on the floor. Petunia and Vernon, each holding a baby watching the couple. Harry was wailing loudly, and Petunia couldn’t get him to settle down, making Y/n only cry harder. The young boy had just begun babbling nonsense due to Sirius’ hard effort to get him to say “Padfoot”. But it was that day he said his first word.

“Moo-me!” Harry yelped, and Remus could’ve sworn his heart shattered into a thousand pieces, “Moo-me!”

The brunet boy was trying to reach for Remus, and he squirmed for the adult male, but Petunia had a tight grip. Y/n could barely hear the little boy's words over her own sobs. Her body ached and shook with every tear that fell. The silver streams stained her cheeks, and her face was a brilliant rose red.

“Please make it stop….” Y/n muttered as Remus covered her from the other four people in the room, “If he says that one more time, I might not be able to handle it. Remus, help me, please.”

Hearing her so desperate broke his heart more. Remus’ body covered hers entirely in their crouched position. Harry was practically attacking Petunia to let him go, to be in the arms that are familiar to him. He didn’t like this. He didn’t know these people. These people weren’t his parents. Where was daddy? Where was mummy? Where was uncle Sirius and Peter?

What he did know was his aunt and uncle were right in front of him. Uncle Moony and Aunt Y/n. He could feel his aunt's sadness, her frustration, her anger. He could sense his uncle's remorse, desperation, and hopelessness. Why were they feeling this way? Why weren’t they protecting him? Harry so desperately wished he could speak and say, “Help! Save me from these strangers!” But all he could get out was “Moo-mee and Tee” for Moony and Auntie.

Petunia couldn’t handle his squirming any longer and allowed him on the floor. Harry was ecstatic with this new change. The boy crawled to the two adults on the floor. Harry could feel the warmth of their bodies before he tugged at his aunt's sleeve. Harry stared into her e/c irises and his uncle's green eyes. Those eyes he’d remember forever, engraved in his memory to never forget. His aunt collected him into her arms. His head pressed to her chest. Harry’s sobs calmed, now in the arms of familiarity.

The scent of chocolate, ink, and books surrounded him. His nose was barely catching the smell due to it being runny from crying. Petunia and Vernon approached them. Remus was hugging his wife and his best friend's son, protecting them from the outside world. Gently Y/n pulled Harry from her chest, leaving him to stare at his aunt and uncle.

Y/n sniffled and wiped his tears from his cheeks like mum used to do, “Harry, I promise you, I really don’t want to do this.”

His head tilted in confusion as Y/n’s eyes filled with tears again, “I’ll come back for you. Don’t doubt that for a second.”

“If he’s anything like Prongs, he’ll always have hope.” Remus commented, making Y/n smile.

“That’s what daddy used to do to mummy when she was sad,” Harry thought, “he used to say something to make her smile.”

Despite the soft smile on her face, she had wet trails on her cheeks, “I love you, Harry.”

Y/n kissed his forehead where the lightning scar was placed—hugging him one more time and Remus doing the same as his wife. Harry didn’t understand. Where was he going? Why was auntie Y/n letting him go? Why weren’t they taking him home? Where was mummy and daddy?! So he began to wail again. Petunia picked him up, and the family of four now started to walk out of the room.

She couldn’t even cry anymore. The water that once flowed down her cheeks had stopped. The dam had broken but no longer had water to give. Y/n turned to put her face harshly in Remus’ chest. His arms raked through her hair and rubbed her back. Silent tears rolled down his flushed cheeks, reaching his jawline and falling into Y/n’s hair.

“That was-“ Y/n hiccuped, “the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“I know, darling.” Remus whispered, “He’s got James’ spirit, and that means he won’t lose hope. He’s got Lily’s kindness. Harry will be fine.”

Y/n shook her head, “That’s not the point. He should be with me. Not that horrid woman.”

“I know. But you and I will get through this.” Remus assured, tilting her head to face him, “We’ve gotten through everything else. We can get through this too.”

Solemnly, Y/n nodded. Remus placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. The room was precise and silent, aside from Y/n’s hiccups. The clicking of a clock could be heard echoing throughout the room. Usually, the sound would bring a sense of solace to Remus but right now, it was a constant reminder that time had gone by. James and Lily were no longer with him. Sirius had betrayed them all, and Peter was dead. Godric, how could this all happen?

Remus flicked his wand from his pocket, apparating them back to their residence. Inside it was cozy and warm. Remus took off Y/n’s coat along with his own as she took a seat on the leather couch. She grabbed her wand, muttering an “Incendio” to start a fire in the fireplace. Her body was curled up, and Remus placed a blanket over her while he went to the kitchen.

The kitchen was a pale blue with dark oak flooring. The marble countertops and dark cabinets. A brilliant contrast. He could almost hear James’ laugh from when they were painting it together while also hearing Lily and Y/n’s scolding them for making a big mess. It brought an emptiness to his heart, but he filled the kettle with water, allowing it to boil on the water.

Inside the cabinets laid an assortment of tea. Something James and Lily had bought him as a joke. Remus always made tea no matter the occasion. It was so him. James had seen it at a muggle store Lily had brought him for. He had been dying of laughter in the store just thinking about it. It got laughs around the Christmas tree when Remus unwrapped the decorative paper.

Remus grabbed a tea bag for himself while grabbing cocoa powder from the same cabinet and two mugs from their wedding night. The kettle began making a high pitch noise, and Remus poured the water into both mugs. Placing the tea bag in one cup and a couple of scoops of cocoa powder in the other, mixing them both, adding marshmallows to the hot chocolate and whipped cream. He added honey to his tea.

Mugs in hand, Remus walked to the living room. He placed the cups on the coffee table. Coaxing Y/n to sit up and he set the mug in her hand as she sipped it carefully, not to burn her mouth. Y/n leaned her head on Remus’ shoulder, still holding her mug with both hands. The blanket draped across their laps. Remus had the cup in his right hand, his left arm draped around her shoulders, the pad of his thumb rubbing her shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Rem.”

The holidays were hard. Almost too hard for Y/n and Remus to celebrate. But despite their pain, they decorated their house with garland, lights, and knickknacks. The Christmas tree sat in the right of their living room, covered in the beautiful colorful lights. Placed upon the tree were ornaments and tiny pieces of tinsel. Beneath the tree held presents for each other and a little boy.

Y/n stood in front of the tree, staring at it with a longing look. Remus walked behind her, putting his arms around her neck gently. Y/n’s hands instinctively reached for his bicep, rubbing it gently. Remus kissed her cheek and placed his head on top of hers.

“I wanna visit him.”

“Okay.”

Y/n turned to face him, “Okay?”

“What am I gonna tell you?” Remus joked, “No?”

“No. I just- I didn’t expect you to agree so fast.” Y/n replied, and Remus cupped her cheek, “He’s your nephew too. You have a right to see him.”

She smiled, “Yeah, you’re right.”

He kissed her forehead, “First Christmas without them….”

“I know.” Y/n said sadly, “It feels strange not to have James jumping around like a child.”

“It feels not having Lily in the kitchen trying to make your mums mince pies.”

Y/n chuckled, “She never got to master them.”

“Don’t worry, dear, I’m sure she’s up there trying.” Remus replied, smiling, “You think Peter is trying to steal the batter?” Y/n asked.

“Oh, definitely!” Remus exclaimed, smiling more than he had in months, “That bugger always used to Nick my chocolate at Hogwarts.”

“I dunno how he found my stash every time.”

The couple placed their foreheads on each other’s, closing their eyes, “We miss you, James and Lily.”

“We miss you more than ever.”

Y/n sighed, “I love you guys.”

Christmas morning was dull compared to their regular routine. Y/n was used to having James jump on top of her every Christmas so they can wake up their parents and open presents. Instead, she was woken up with kisses being placed on her neck and shoulder. Y/n turned and was faced with the sleepy face of her husband.

His sandy hair ruffled and on top of the white pillow. Green eyes glazed with a film of sleep. His lips pulled up in an effortless gentle smile. The scars on his face were whiter instead of their usual pale pink. His stubble was growing into full facial hair due to his lack of shaving. Y/n let her hand cup his right cheek, her thumb rubbing his cheekbone.

“You need to shave.”

Remus chuckled, “It’s Christmas, and that’s the first thing you say to me?”

“Merry Christmas, you need to shave?” Y/n corrected with a smile, making him laugh, “Merry Christmas, darling.”

They shared a soft and gentle kiss. His lips taking her bottom one, hers taking his top one. Soft and slow. Gentle and sweet. Pulling apart, their eyes fluttered, focusing on one another. Her eyes were so beautiful. Looking into her eyes, Remus could read an endless amount of stories. The gorgeous e/c. His eyes were evergreen. Holding so much love and adoration. She could read him like a book through his eyes.

Christmas meant eating a good meal and sharing kisses beneath the mistletoe. The couple opened each other’s presents. Y/n earning new books and some of Remus’ old sweaters that she thought he threw away. The last item she received was a maroon and gold jersey. It was her brother's Quidditch Captain jersey from when he played. Remus must’ve found it in the wreckage at Godric’s Hallow.

Remus opened his presents, getting ink, quills, notebooks, and books of his own. Since Remus couldn’t work, he always dreamed of writing a book. At Hogwarts, Remus excelled in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and he wanted to write a nonbias textbook for it. Y/n always encouraged his dreams and goals. If anyone could do it, it was him.

Left under the tree were three wrapped boxes meant for the little boy. Remus grabbed a tote bag and placed them inside of it. Y/n gripped his hand tightly as they apparated to Privet Drive. They began walking down the street, sweaters on in the snow, while she grabbed his hand tighter.

“What if- What if he doesn’t recognize me?”

“Y/n, he couldn’t forget you.” Remus assured as they stood outside house four.

Gently Y/n knocked on the door. It was oak wood, and the house appeared to be at least two stories. Remus kept his hand intertwined with hers as his other held the bag with the boy's presents. Footsteps could be heard walking towards the door. Petunia had opened it to be faced with two young adults.

“Mrs. Dursley.” Remus greeted curtly, “May we see Harry?”

Petunia began to ponder and saw the bag of presents in the man's hand, “Sure.”

The woman walked into the hallway and unlocked the cupboard under the stairs. Harry was coaxed out of the storage space, and he turned to the left, where he saw his uncle and aunt. The boy's lips curved into a great big smile. Harry ran into the arms of his aunt, hugging her tightly.

“Auntie!”

Her heart melted, “Hey, mini Prongs.”

Harry turned the male beside her, “Moony!”

Remus wrapped his arms around the little boy and picked him up as they walked inside. The three of them sat in the foyer on the floor. Harry sat between Y/n’s legs, his back to her stomach as Remus sat in front of him. Gently Remus disposed of the bag and placed the presents in front of him.

“Go on, Harry. These are for you from Moony and Auntie.” Remus cooed, and Harry grabbed one, gently ripping the wrapping off.

Inside was a baby stag stuffed animal, which Harry hugged close to his chest, “Your dad's favorite animal was a stag. Thought you might want something to remember him by.” Remus stated, smiling sheepishly.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, daddy.” Y/n replied as Harry smiled up at her.

“Go on. There’s two more for you, baby.” Y/n pointed at the other two boxes, and Harry began unwrapping another.

This was a tinier box, and inside were golden glasses, “You don’t need these just yet, but these were your fathers. I wanted them to be yours.” Y/n informed him as he placed them on top of his nose.

The final box was mini-figures that Harry could play with in his spare time, which he seemed more than grateful for. Harry was giggling and laughing, happy with all his presents. The boy turned in Y/n’s lap, hugging her as tight as he could. Y/n’s hand rested on his back, and she gently kissed his forehead.

“I love you, Harry. Don’t forget that.”

“‘Ove you too.” Harry replied, having a hard time pronouncing words.

Next, he hugged Remus, who did the same. He didn’t want to leave Remus’ arms. He always ran hotter than the everyday person. Remus was a personal furnace. It makes sense why a cold young boy didn’t want to let go of the man. Within minutes the young boy was asleep in Remus’ arms.

Petunia came into the hallway an hour later to see Harry soundly asleep in the man's arms, “Excuse me, but I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

“Yes, of course.” Y/n took Harry from Remus’ arms and gave him to Petunia, “Thank you for letting us see him.”

Petunia took the boy from Y/n’s arms, “Yes.”

She put the boy in his bed under the cupboard, making Y/n frown at his living situation, “Do you- Do you think that Harry could stay with us some weekends?”

“No.”

“Oh, okay.” Y/n muttered, “Thank you again, but we must’ve overstayed our welcome.”

“Of course.”

Y/n took Remus’ hand as they walked out of the house. They walked to a safe spot to apparate back home. They both took off their coats and placed them on the coat rack. Y/n went to turn on a movie on their television set while Remus made hot chocolate and snacks. Both of them curled up onto the sofa and fell asleep.

Over the course of the next nine years, Harry has been visited by his aunt and uncle on many different occasions. Birthdays, Christmas’s, Valentine’s Day, Halloween, and sometimes just randomly, but he always looked forward to seeing them. Every time without fail, Harry would always jump in Y/n’s arms no matter how old he got.

The warmth and feeling of being safe in her arms brought a sense of comfort no one seemed compared to. She felt like daddy. His radiate smile, his incredibly warm body, the smoothness of her voice, the glitter in her eyes, her untied hair. Auntie Y/n felt like James. But no matter how hard he tried, she never was dad exactly, but she was auntie. Y/n was his dad's sister, and for now, that’d have to do.

Of course, uncle Moony felt the same. But there were some days he didn’t show up, much to Harry’s displeasure. Harry loved sleeping in Remus’ arms when he was a young toddler. The chocolate, ink, and parchment smell always filled his sensitive nose with such a safe feeling. Harry’s favorite time of year was Christmas when Petunia would make hot cocoa, filling the room with its sweet sense. Although he never got a cup of it himself, the smell brought a sense of comfort. As if uncle Moony was embracing him tightly on all sides.

When Harry reached eleven, owls began delivering envelopes to Privet Drive number Four. But it seems that uncle Vernon refused to let him open any of them. He did whatever he had to, blocking the mail slot in the door, burning the letters, even going as extreme to leave the house. Where inevitably Hagrid - gamekeeper - at Hogwarts came to retrieve him and give him the letter.

He couldn’t believe it. He was a wizard! All this time being belittled by Petunia, Vernon, and Dudley, he finally felt special aside from those times with his other family. Harry had a chance to prove himself to be great. To prove himself that he wasn’t just a bug on the ground to be stepped on. Only one thought crossed his mind though.

“I can’t wait to tell aunt Y/n and uncle Moony.”

[ichoosechoasandbeingqueer]

Faceless Memories And Broken Promises

This is Day 31 and the last day of Fili whumptober!

Warnings:  death, mentions of war

Word count: 1281

Fili is reunited with his father in the halls of Mahal, he just doesn't realize it at first.

Please refer to the warnings of this story.  If you go past this point you are consenting to reading this content.

Fili no longer remembered his fathers face. That was the revelation that had come to him on his sixtieth birthday.

He could not remember the colour of his eyes or the curve of his smile. He could not remember the way his father’s voice sounded as he sung him to sleep through the noise of a thunderstorm or the way his thick fingers felt combing through his hair, carefully braiding the golden strands away from his eyes.

He did remember the way his mother wept when he didn’t come home from the war, the candle they lit in his name, the hair that was cut in their mourning. So many memories with his name on their tongues, yet his face remained a blur to Fili.

Occasionally he would be stopped in the markets or in the tavern by the older darrow, or a gentle old dam who would tell him how much he looked like his father, that he held the same kind eyes or the strong stance. Every mirror or lake he would gaze into left him feeling empty and confused, wondering who was staring back at him in his reflection. He didn’t look like the rest of his family with dark hair and sharp features. His face was soft and his hair as bright as the sun that shone down upon the mountain, but all the stories he had ever heard about his father told him to have dark hair and a strong grin, neither things Fili carried.  

It was his mother that had first braided his mustache the way it hung now, her fingers mindlessly working to braid the strands the way her fingers had done so for years. He remembered the way she had froze, her eyes going wide and her nose scrunching up in pain as she gaze at her son, the braids of his father in his beard. He had held her sobbing frame for hours that day, yet neither one of them was strong enough to take out the braids.

On days he snuck away from his busy life to think, he would spend hours thinking, recalling, and racking his brains for a single image. Did they share the same dimples that appeared on his cheeks when he smiled? Did he grip his sword in the same hand his father had?

It was a question he could never answer. That is why he was so confused when he closed his eyes, a blinding white light encasing him, only to open them again met with a face that held his soft cheekbones, his crocked nose, and his mustache braids. The darrow’s eyes were different. They looked like Kili’s, a soft warm brown with thick black lashes that battered against his cheeks. He held Kili’s grin too, the cat like smirk so familiar to Fili, yet adorning the features of a stranger.

It took Fili a moment to understand, to remember the horrific death he had faced by his enemy’s hand, and he rushed to check his body for wounds.  

“Easy now little one, you are safe here. No one can hurt you again,”

Fili looked up at the voice, so gentle and deep it remined him of deepest cavern of the mountains where the darkness would cover you like a blanket and keep you safe. The stranger held a knowing glimmer in his eyes as he kneeled down to sit next to him.

“But- but Kili, uncle Throin?”

“I know, I know,” the dwarf hushed him, “I’m so sorry you had to live through such perils, that you did not have someone to protect you,”

“But- that’s my job. I’m meant to be the one to protect them,”

“So young, so brave,” he murmured to Fili, brushing his fingers against the braids on his crown. Curiously, Fili made no attempt to stop him, “You have served your kin honorably little one, but sometimes life can be cruel. Sometimes you can not protect the ones you love they way you want to,”

The smile that sat on his lips held sorrow as he pulled Fili closer.

“You know what that’s like?” Fili asked, “To try so hard yet still fail? To break the promises you made?”

“Aye, that is something I know all too well,”

The blond Durin sniffed and pulled his knees to his chest, “What did you promise? If you don’t mind me asking,”

The stranger thought for a moment, watching him carefully, “I promised the most beautiful dam in the world that I would see in her a few months. I never made it back to her,”

“Oh,” Fili frowned, his lips settling in a pout, “was she angry?”

“Angry? No. She was hurt and broken and lonely, but I don’t think she was ever angry at me. That fell onto someone else’s shoulders I’m afraid,”

“Who-”

“My son. My beautiful, crazy, brave son. He had to grow up without me, all because I broke my promise to him too,”

A small memory tugged at Fili’s mind.

The sounds of dwarves marching outside echoed through the mountain and the smell of a freshly polished blades hung in the wind like an omen. A small pebble with messy blond hair raced through the living room and wrapped himself around his father’s legs, his voice muffled through the fabric but begging him not to go.

“I took up my sword to join the fight,” the darrow continued, “and my son begged me to stay. He kicked and screamed and begged me not to go, so a made him a promise,”

The older darrow gave a chuckle, kneeling down and lifting his son’s jaw to look him in the eyes. They were kind and understanding, but still, they could not give the child what he sort. The war had started, and all would stand and fight for their king and ancestral home.

“I looked my son in the eyes and showed him my sword. I made a promise that when I got back, I would teach him how to use it. That next time, we would fight together,”

The child still held on to his father, his little hands gripping the fabric with all his might. His sniffles died down and he nodded weakly at his father’s promise. He had always wanted to wield a real sword after all, and if his adad promised he could use it, he would. His adad never broke a promise.

“Yet no matter how hard I fought, no matter how hard I tried, I didn’t come home. I never got to see my wife again and I never got to teach him how to use his swords. It was his uncle who had to teach him that, and I don’t think he ever forgave me for it,”

The little pebble was lifted into his mother’s arms, his hands waving franticly at his father who had joined the march. His eyes had become harsh, his lips set in a line, yet when he turned his head to glance back at his family, the softness shone through his brown eyes. He sent a sneaky wink and cat like grin back at them, one last promise that everything was going to be ok before he disappeared into the distance.

Fili looked the stranger in the face, and suddenly he could remember it all. Every wrinkle around his eyes when he grinned. The sound of his voice as he laughed. The smell of coal and steel one every one of his tunics.

Fili pulled the old darrow towards him and tucked his face into his neck, the tears running freely down his face.

“I missed you adad,”

“Aye little one, I missed you too,”

✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ 

See full 31 day whumptober Master List here

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐸

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝚃𝚆𝙾

𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆!𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙈𝙊𝘽!𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬:  Your life is as good as it gets. The perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect job. But what you are unaware is that your husband is a deadly assassin and your long-lost friend, now a fearsome mob boss is hell bent on getting you back. But what you don’t know can't hurt you, right?

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦:  psychological disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse, yandere, obsession, violence, cursing. If you find any of this triggering please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.

ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, sᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ

My previous account was deleted so I’ll be posting the stories again. I’ll be changing this one, so yeah.

Inform me if y’all wanna be tagged!

You stared at the ticking clock, counting the seconds for his return, while Iris played with her stuffed tiger that her dada had bought for her. Her father was finally coming home after serving for a really long time in the military. Bucky was everything you had wanted and more. 

Though you both had a small and cute wedding when you were way too young, it still was one of the best days of your life. Since the day you had met him, he had been hell bent on joining the army as he somehow felt the need to protect people after what had happened to his father. So, after serving his first term, while you were still a second-year graduate student, he had proposed and you had accepted without wasting a second.  

Soon you had found yourself pregnant, during your pregnancy, he had been there for your every beck and call. You still remembered his face when Iris was born; it was filled with such adoration and love, you knew you wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Iris was literally the female version of her dad, her cute nose, her lips and most importantly her blue eyes; her eyes had played a small role in naming her.

Having a kid and completing your medical residency had been tough, but whenever Bucky was home, he took care of all the housework and kept Iris busy for as long as possible. Just one thing which you didn’t like was all this time he spent away from home and the immense risk that came along with being on active duty. But he wasn’t just your Bucky, was he, he was Sgt. Barnes, too.  

But now as you sat staring at the clock, you feared that when he returned, Bucky wouldn't be the same man he was. While on duty, there had been an explosion and he had lost his arm. Hearing his voice on the phone was enough to tell you that he was broken. You were waiting to take him in your arms and tell him that it would be fine.

Just then the bell rang and you quickly got up and unlocked the door. And there he was, his eyes without their usual luster, filled with unshed tears. As Iris ran towards him, he quickly scooped her up in his right arm. “dada! I missed you s’much” she said kissing his face. You wondered whether she didn’t notice or was simply ignoring his missing arm after you gave her a little ‘talk’ about it. “I missed you too Rissie! I love you my little princess!” he said smothering her with kisses. “I'm a Queen!” she exclaimed. “Alright your majesty. Now may I enter your palace and meet my wife?” Iris pretended to think and then exclaimed a yes.  

“Hey, don’t cry” he said as he dropped Iris down. You hadn't even noticed that you were crying. You quickly wrapped him in your arms and he held you tight, fearing that you might slip away. You both didn’t speak for a long time, you were too busy being buried in each other's neck, but then you felt the moisture collect on your shoulder. As you let go, you realized his dam had broken and he was crying too.  

“I love you Bucky bunny” you said playfully. Somehow long back, you had come up with this nickname while watching Looney Tunes; your magnificent brain had somehow morphed Bugs Bunny into Bucky bunny. He pretended to hate it saying it sounded like some porn stars name, and therefore you teased him even more. “I love you too.” he replied staring deep into your soul.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

As you both retired to your bedroom after ensuring Iris was fast asleep, you simply laid in bed without talking. Your hands were quietly exploring the same planes of his body you had travelled a million times over. You hesitated to touch his arm at first, fearing whether he was comfortable with it or not. But as you slowly began to trace the scars, he let out a long breath.  

You wished he didn’t have to suffer this; you wished all went to the way it was previously; you wished that his eyes shone just as brightly as they did before. But that didn’t mean you loved him any less now. Though throughout the day he pretended to be just fine, you knew he wasn’t even close to being fine.  

“Are you going to leave me?” he finally broke the silence. You couldn’t help but give him a confused expression, why would he ask that? “You don’t have to pretend. Not with me. Just say and I'll go. I don’t want to be a burden to you... ” you shut him up by kissing him. “I am not leaving you Buck. I’m gonna stick with you like an octopus.” you said chuckling. “Buck, we’ll go through everything and anything if we are together. I just want you to be happy. We'll make it work; we will find a way. And trust me when I say I love you more than anything.”

You spent the entire night, tangled in each other, telling him how much you loved and cherished him.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

You were tired and your back was aching after performing a long surgery. As you opened the door, you were greeted with the smell if your favorite dish being cooked in the house. As you walked straight to the kitchen you were stunned to see Bucky somehow managing to cook with Iris sitting on the kitchen counter. Though the kitchen was a mess, you weren't going to complaint, all you could see was the blinding happiness on his face.

“Look who is back! Guess what mama bear?” Bucky said joyously. You wondered what was the reason behind his joy. “Daddy is gonna get his arm back!” Rissie exclaimed happily. This wasn’t news to you though. You had talked to Bucky about getting a prosthetic arm and he hadn't been half this excited. Seeing your confusion Bucky responded “Well, I got a call this morning. They are not only giving me my job back but giving me a cool new arm. I'll be on duty again!”  

You weren't sure whether to be happy or sad. You were euphoric about Bucky’s job and arm but at the same time you were worried for his life. “That’s amazing Buck!” you hugged him tightly as Iris slipped between you two. Your eyes were filled with happy tears. He was happy and that’s all that mattered right now.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

FOUR YEARS LATER

You finally had a holiday from your hectic schedule as a surgeon. Iris was off to school and after some pushing you had persuaded Bucky to go get groceries. You wondered what had happened to Bucky. Something had changed after he got that arm, rather everything had changed. He wasn’t lively anymore, he got irritated at small things, stared off absently into space not responding to anything, he constantly looked behind his back, nor did he laugh at any of your jokes, you missed his laughter and that's what hurt you the most.  

Not to mention the horrid dead blank stare he gave you some days, intently looking at your every move like a predator, that thing scared the shit out of you. In the past two years not once you and Bucky had accepted Thor’s dinner invitations. You didn’t have many friends, you just had one, Thor. He was with you since your residency and you both worked together as trauma surgeons. Bucky and Thor had become quick friends too and the three of you went on many double dates. But that was a thing of the past. Now, whenever Thor invited you, Bucky simply came up with a stupid reason to not go. Bucky had become so closed off; he wasn’t the thoughtful and jolly Bucky you fell in love with.

Now that you finally had the house to yourself, you had decided to go on a cleaning spree. Currently you were in your bathroom; busy cleaning with your mop, when you accidentally slipped on some spilt soap water and ended up falling right beside the bathtub, your mop flew up and hit the ceiling tiles, thus displacing them. Suddenly a small diary fell right on your head. Placing your right hand on the ledge of the bath tub, you waited for everything to settle down and cursed loudly. “Fuck you, you goddamning son of a bitch! Everything had to fall on my head! Pathetic!”.  

You saw that you mop as now dangling on the bath tub and that stupid diary which had apparently fallen from heaven knows where was laying right beside you. As you looked up, you noticed the displaced tiles and realized that’s where this must have fallen from. As you picked up the diary you noticed there wasn't any dust on it, so there wasn't a chance that the previous owners might have left something in the false ceiling above. And it definitely wasn’t you, Iris was too small to keep something there; that only left Bucky. But why did he never mention this diary before. What exactly was he hiding?

As you opened the diary, you realized that you couldn’t understand a single word written. It felt as it was written in some highly complex code language. You were sure it wasn’t any language spoken everyday by sane humans. As you flipped through the pages you realized that every page was written in the same format. At the top was presumably some names written in the code and the rest was probably the information of that person.  

You wondered how did Bucky know this language? And why didn’t he ever tell you about anything, heck, he didn’t even mention it. And whose names had he written like it was the most confidential file? You got up and quickly closed the lid on the toilet and climbed up on it. You stuck your hand inside the hollow ceiling above to check if he was hiding something more.  

Your hand caught something and you pulled it out, only to realize it was a laptop. You wondered why he needed a second laptop when he already had one for work purposes in the home office. You took the laptop and the diary and sat down in the bathroom itself, so that if you when you would hear Bucky come you would simply put everything back up in the ceiling. You opened the laptop and saw it was password protected. You decided you would have two tries at unlocking the laptop and if you didn’t crack it, you would simply confront him.  

You first tried out typing Iris's name and her date of birth. But it was denied access. You thought for a minute more and entered your own name and your birthdate. And access was granted to you. You didn’t know whether to be happy that he had kept your name as his password or angry that he had been lying to you about whatever this was. As the laptop opened, you saw various files in it. You tapped on one and it seemed to open on a person’s resume. No, it wasn’t a resume, it was that person’s entire life history. It was like those files the assassins carried in movies with all the information about their target. You wondered what Jason Bourne shit this was.

As you read his name and saw the photos attached with it, you felt as if you had seen this person before. As you scrolled further, it finally clicked. A year before this person, who held a high position in the United Nations, was all over the news due to his untimely death caused by a heart attack. You had absolutely no interest in worldly matters, you already had a million problems on your head so you hadn't paid much attention and had not given a flying fuck. But now suddenly sweat was covering your forehead. You were worried sick as to why Bucky had all this information stored in a secret computer.

As you scrolled further, you almost reached the end of the file and that’s when you saw the video. With shaky hands you opened it. It seemed to be the security footage of that man’s bedroom and its resolution was pretty shitty. For the first few minutes all you saw was the man sleeping peacefully but as the video continued, you noticed it. The window in his room was slowly lifted as a man entered. He seemed to be dressed in tactical gear, his face was covered by a mask, but he was given away by one tell-tale sign. His arm. The metal arm with a red star on it glinted in the moonlight and you knew it was Bucky.

You watched as Bucky quietly walked towards the sleeping man. As he stood near the bed, he produced something from his pocket and bent down. As you strained your eyes, you saw that it was an injection. Your eyes widened as you clapped your hand around your mouth. That man hadn't died due to a heart attack, at least not natural. He was murdered by Bucky!

You opened another file, then another, they all were the same. In the beginning it was the information about the person, then a report as to how they died and then a video. All of them were well known figures; and all of them had been assassinated by Bucky. In one of the videos, you saw him choking the life out of a man with his metal arm and your mind wandered to the many times you would playfully tell him to choke you with the metal arm while fucking you; your hand unconsciously went to your throat at the thought.  

Then you opened a file titled: The Winter Soldier. That was weird you thought, the other files were given numbers but not names. As you opened the file, you realized it was Bucky’s own. Apparently, his codename was The Winter Soldier. Everything about him was stated in that file systematically. His background, his education, his military career and the worst of all, there were your and Iris’s photos too. As you continued to read, you realized he wasn’t working in the military anymore. Four years before, the people who had called him were from an organization named Hydra. The name and symbol itself sent chills down your spine. God, was Bucky so stupid, the octopus symbol itself screamed that Hydra was up to no good.

In the beginning, you couldn’t believe Bucky had gotten such a fancy and technological advanced arm. Looking at it you wondered how much it cost, the material and the functions would make it no less than a few million dollars. Now why would the government spend so much money on a sergeant, not that Bucky didn’t deserve it but you were curious.  

It felt as if he was hiding something from you. But you didn’t as ask as you knew he’d come around and tell you soon anyway. He needed time and you had plenty to give. But he never did. You had asked so many times whether the star was a tattoo of some sort and he had always deflected your questions. But now after reading this, you knew what all this was for. The arm, the pay raise, the irregular schedule, it was all Hydra. And Bucky was a professional assassin, and that too a deadly one.

Your eyes watered and bile rose to your throat as you saw a list, it was all the people he had killed, and the list was pretty big. You quickly placed the laptop besides you and began to puke your guts out in the toilet. In all the panic you failed to notice that a person was holding back your hair and soothingly rubbing your back.  

[saturatedboy]

Hey can you do a fic of Lady Alcina x GN!reader where the reader has ADHD so little things just gets forgotten and jumping topics so fast it’s kinda hard for Alcina at first and she’ll get frustrated but still loves the reader just how they are? If so that would be fantastic! Have a great day!!

Alcina Dimitrescu x GN!Reader

My apologise for taking a while, a thunder and lightning storm happened near me and it blew up the fuse to my internet box. But I'm here with more writing so I hope you enjoy!

Requests: Open

Words: 2.5k

The vast castle that had loomed over the Village of Shadows had always been ancient and portentous. The unknown creatures however that hovered over the sky close to the pole towers were always a great sight to see from the village. However, those who live far away from the castle merely thought to them to be birds with a wide wing span that would fly around and bless the castle with their saint fortune- however if you knew the castle and it's true owners, you would find everything to be more depraved of it's fake nature.

Humming softly, you dragged the wooden comb through your strands, being careful to not pull on any knotted ends too hard. You stared at the mirror with soft eyes, it had been quite the evening for you after the day being filled with lessons on acting like a true noble. You could hear the young ladies down the extended corridors, arguing over who would get the first drop of the sweetness a simple maid had once carried. Although not a vampire yourself, you strived yourself to be lucky amongst those who were caught in any of the young and head mistresses claws. Ah, the mistress. The simple thought of her had brought a rose tint to your cheeks, you smiling unconsciously as you let your mind wander off into far lands that were filled with no violence, only peace amongst the dammed. Only a sudden knock had transported you back into the real world. Coughing, you placed the comb down on the vanity and turned on your buffet, facing the door with hands folded on your lap. "You may enter," You spoke out loud, awaiting the turning of the knob.

The sound of slight clicking of the knob being turned brought your full attention to whoever was to enter. The door became ajar, then pushed to an opening with the guilty entering. A wide smile had stretched it's way onto your face as you stood to greet the one who knocked. Bowing your head slightly, you raised it to be met with the eyes of the lady of the castle, Alcina Dimitrescu. "My lady."

"My darling," She spoke back, closing the door behind her as she looked down upon your small form, however still slightly taller than her three daughters. Seeing your smile brought one onto her face, her eyes gleaming softly at your relaxed state. Looking around your neatly tided room, she let her eyes graze back over to yours and tilted her head to the side ever so slightly. "Why are you still awake? You should be asleep by now."

Awkwardly, you had bit your bottom lip and looked away in shame. Any of the pink fairy dust that was once coating your cheeks had turned deeper than the pinks in a sunset. "Well, my lady, you see I-" You had quickly cut yourself off. You weren't going to tell her that you was awake because you could hear the cries of the maid. And no you weren't going to tell her that she had been running on your mind either-

"Well?" She softly asked as she crossed her arms under her chest, placing herself to sit on the end of your bed as she watched you fiddle with your fingers with a long-lost look within your eyes.

"I'm just feeling energised." You saved yourself as you silently thanked your mind for quick thinking. Well, you weren't exactly lying but at the same time you had been because the cries of the maid had woken you from your slumber. Not wanting to get into any sort of trouble with the Lady. Lady Dimitrescu nodded in reply, not fully understand to why you would be energised after a long day of training to be a noble but none the less, she was glad you weren't hurt at all or hiding any sort of pain.

"Hm, I suppose that may makes sense. Though I don't remember you having any sort of sugary treats to be feeling so much energy to stay awake..." Dimitrescu had trailed of at the end, instantly becoming entranced when you had grabbed the comb once again and brushed through your hair. Tutting slightly, she stood and walked over to your sitting form, plucking the brush from your hand and using it to comb your hair for you. "Your combing wrongly, follow the flow of your hair- don't try to change it's path."

Feeling her gentleness as she combed through your hair had made you start to fidget in your seat. Although you loved the feeling of her hands caressing your hair, there was something about it that made you want to adventure further. You didn't want to stay here, no you couldn't. This wasn't right sitting here anymore. The feeling was so sudden- and you knew why. Arguing in your head, you dragged your mind away from the reality of the world into a blank space where you could try sort out these mixed emotions. However as you were away from the reality, your body had reacted on its own recordings. Your leg began to bounce with your hands intertwining with one another then letting go only for them to become fists. Without any thought of it, Alcina hadn't notice your sudden change in mood, she was too focused on trying to get a certain knot out of your hair.

Yourself on the other hand, was stuck fighting for movement or staying in place. It wasn't till the noise of wood being placed back onto your vanity and the hand that had blocked your view from the mirror that brought you away from your argument. Without a second thought, you stood abruptly and turned to face Alcina with a wide smile. "We should go for a stroll! The night will be young and I'm sure the young mistresses will be busy with their feeding tonight. How about it my Lady?" You held your hand out, your white tunic and grey pants had provided enough heat for you to want a walk in the breeze of the lost screams within the castle.

Alcina had looked at your hand, so small and doll-like. Holding your hand normally brought great warmth to her soul. The feeling of a human being alive and wanting to be close to her had always brought a soft, comforting feeling. And she had only felt that with you. So, wanting to feel the same feeling again she cupped your small hand within her own and used her other hand to straighten out her hat. "Lead the way my love."

Within no second to spare, you speed-walked out of your room and practically dragged the Lady behind you. Why were you so excited for a walk? She had no clue to what was exactly going on in your mind, she never understood what was on your mind but that was because she couldn't read you like an open book. She had always had people praise her like some Goddess which brought much pride to her, but seeing you hold her hand and walk with her like she was a regular person- maybe like what the children would do in the village when they found something interesting and wanted a parent to see it quickly- that what you had reminded her off. "My darling, aren't you going a little fast?" She asked, although having no problem keeping you with your speed, she found it unusual for you to be walking at this speed.

"Nope! Now come on, we have the castle to explore more of!" You giggled and and bopped your head side to side like you were listening to silent music. "Oh! When we explore the castle we should play hide and seek! Do you think the other girls would love to join, I'm sure they would! Ooo maybe you could teaching me how to sort out flowers to make a beautiful boutique like you had done once when Lady Beneviento was over!" Your rambled on about activities you both could do as you let go of Alcina's hand and walked off by yourself. Your stranded look had brought Alncia to be slightly worried about your change of state. Being quick, Alcina followed behind you keeping close tabs on trying to make out what you was saying since you were getting further ahead of her.

"Darling....Darling!" She called out as you kept walking onwards, twisting through the hallways and moving yourself out of the way for any maids that were walking around or cleaning the hallways. Alcina shook her head and sped walked to catch up to you so she could take swiftly your arm within her grasp to make you stop walking away from her. The sudden yank that she gave you made you lock your lips together and looked up at her over your shoulder. "Darling your speaking too quickly and mumbling half of it. Speak with a clear tone and articulation. I taught you this today before you went up to bed."

You looked at her with glossy eyes that held your innocence. Her figure over you had somewhat calmed your mind to rest, or maybe it was her touch- you couldn't decide on which. You focused on her hand around your arm, her fingers going back to her palm as her larger hands captured your arm within her grip- no movement could make you escape. You opened your mouth to speak up but your words were caught in your throat. Again you tried but only slight noises of struggle came out. Taking a deep breath, Alcina sighed out in annoyance and rolled her eyes. "Would you mind telling me what's going on. One minute your relaxed, the next your up and walking away like you have to catch a carriage. You're also changing your mind on what to do-Sweetie you said you wanted to go for a walk."

Trailing your eyes from her hand up her arm and peering at her face, you saw a clear look of her being stumped with your actions. Pulling your arm out of her grip, you cradled it close to your chest. "I'm sorry." Was all you could mutter before taking a deep breath in and out, steading your breathing after the fast walk you had travelled with. Leaning against the closest wall in the hallway, you swept strands out from your eyes and gazed down at the wooden floor with deep crimson carpets. "I've always been like this- It's something that is hard to control." You gathered the small courage to face her again, looking at her with a guilty stare.

Alcina patted her dress down as she heard your voice speak. She had no way in understanding why you act like this because this was the first time it happened so suddenly and well- she hadn't been a human for a very long time now. You remembered times before you came to the castle that down in the village you would take off through the woods to lose the energy you gained for no reason and speak to any animal life you could find. It was much more relaxing to talk to someone who couldn't say anything back- you couldn't interrupt anyone or get the harsh reply of 'Stay on a subject' because your mind jumped from one thing to another. That was actually how you met the Lady of the castle in the first place, and it was the first place you confessed your dying love to her. But now- everything happened without yourself even realising it was happening, you felt like the one to blame for putting the Lady in this position of following you about and practically making her own mind run in circles.

A delicate hand lifted your chin that had dropped to rest on your chest, a finger running along your bottom lip. The hand belonged to Alcina whom had knelt to the floor in front of you. "(Y/n)." She spoke your name with tenderness and a tone that would forever make your heart melt with affection. "You have nothing to be sorry for. If this is how you are, then I love you for who you are." She felt your lip quiver under her thumb, her other hand pulling you into her chest where soft sobs had came from your mouth. She held you close, humming a tune to calm you down. Your salty tears had wet her long white dress, but she didn't care. She cared for the fact that you had been dealing with something that had made you think you were in the wrong for feeling it. "If you wish to ramble about anything on your mind, go ahead. Tell me stories, tell me knowledge, tell me how you feel. I will listen to everything to have to say- even if it does get mixed up that's okay." With a vision blurred, you tilted your head up to look at her as yo used your hands to clear the spots of wetness of your face. "I may not be able to fully understand, but I chose to love you and that means anything that you come with is something I adore my dearest."

A chuckle escaped your lips as you felt her hand glide itself down under your arm and slightly tickle you. "W-wait that tickles-"

"Oh I know~" She whispered into your ear and she playfully picked you up in bridal style within her arms and began her own journey somewhere. Still watching her face and feeling her arms wrapped tightly around your form, you couldn't help but wonder what she was doing.

"Where are we going? Are we going outside or are we going back to my room?" You asked as you continued to clear your eyesight from the specks of fuzzy marks. Adjusting you in her arms slightly so she could instead carry you with your head resting on her shoulder as she held you under your behind and legs wrapped around her upper torso, she replied.

"We are going to find my three daughters and tonight as a family we shall play games. A game night. I figure we both could need one of those especially your hard work of being a noble." She kissed your cheek as she carried on walking, you on the other hand had tried to say something again but it came out with stutters.

"But what if I talk about something stupid or make a fool of myself. Maybe I might not be able to sleep and you need your rest m'lady,"

"Oh darling, I wouldn't sleep without knowing my precious dearest is safe and sound under my gaze. If you can't fall asleep still we shall sit by the fire in the main room and I'll read whatever you wish for." Her words were sincere. She was being truthful. She didn't need to know about your condition, she just understood that she will be there for you in your tightest moments and fit what is right for you. And anyway, she also loved your voice- it was secretly one of her favourite features about you. Why wouldn't she want to listen to you, anything to hear her dearest talk would make her heart swoon with love.

Only a love that she was willing to give to you.

[lollily]

Harry apparently unknowingly became Wakui's accomplice in hurting me because this song reminds me sm of the Akashi siblings.

As it was

"Haru-nii" senju speaks timidly, hiding her frame behind the wall, peeking out with her jade eyes to look at Haruchiyo sitting alone in the courtyard.

"what?" even though his voice is laced with irritation, an undertone asking her to leave and not mind him is no where to be heard.

"I'm sorry.." now standing right behind her brother, she has a dam threatening to break through her eyes. Takeomi had once again scolded Haruchiyo for the mistakes of Senju and she feared that if this continued her brother would never talk to her again. It was common sense that she should apologise even if it was too late.

Haruchiyo glances at the little sister who stood not too far away from him, head hanging low and focusing all her power into grabbing the edge of her t-shirt. A heavy sigh leaves his lips and he's already motioning her to sit beside him following a "c'mere".

He moves the pad of his thumb gingerly to wipe the tears brimming her eyes, patting her cheeks slightly after that. "It's alright.... that's what big brothers are for" He smiles fondly in spite of feeling his chest tighten. Drawing their shoulders closer he points at the sky. "Listen Senju, you're my little star okay." the young girl looks up at her brother in anticipation, eyes glimmering as they reflect the innumerous orbs of light. "Even if we get seperated, know that I'll never hate you. Know that your light will always save me."

Now, did the little girl understand the depth of that? Probably not. But the fact that those meaningful words were directed at her made her feel special, made her feel like she should never give up on that promise. A surge of glee eradicating even the slightest bit of dejection that she had spread through her entire body. Throwing her hands around the older's neck she screams "yes!" a little too loud to be appreciated in late night hours.

Aaaand here comes Takeomi.

----

Senju wakes up in her bed, beads of sweat tracing her forehead and falling down on her neck making her uncomfortable. She gets up and looks out of the window only to find a cloudless prussian blue canvas adorning her view. It was too early to start the day but also too late to go back to sleep. Well, even if she wanted to sleep she couldn't after that dream. It was not exactly a nightmare, so she should call it a happy dream... right? it was a dream about one of her best childhood memories yet her mind failed to feel at ease. It was today that Toman was to face Kanto manji gang, today she was going to face her brother.

She wonders if reaching out will be enough to have him back. Will he extend his hand too? Or will he throw away all they had? It's late, she knows. She should've apologised back where it all started, but she can't simply admit her mistakes now and expect everything to back to how it was, now can she? Not now that her brother has already been punished in her stead, a permanent mark of fear to some and a reminder of guilt to her, gracing the corners of his mouth.

She ponders over the words she should say. Was there enough words in this world to convey what was needed? She's sure there are but none that she knows of.. none that fill her with contentment. She had to let her brother know how much she needs him, how much they want him. It doesn't matter if he no longer holds the same identify, he'll always be the older brother she has looked up to. He's loved. She wants him to know that he is irreplaceable and she'll stay and say it as many times needed.

Senju walks up to the window and watches the leaves rustle lightly in the breeze. The dark hours hold a solemn beauty, she thinks. Her thoughts get preoccupied by her brother again. Has he spent sleepless nights like this too? Does he think of them or is it just her? Was it their favourite movies that reminded him of her or was it the hallucinogenic pills he takes? She's really afraid to ask him about his addiction. She's not afraid of him, she's afraid of discovering a new mistake. She's afraid she has contributed more to her brother's state than what meets the eye. Is she even-

She smacks both of her cheeks to break herself out of those negative thoughts. Hanagaki promised we'll set things straight! I must not worry! She assures herself and after a gust of wind fans her face, cooling her neck and combing snow pink hair out of her contours, she opens her eyes to look up at the starry sky.

Takeomi will stay at home, waiting for the return of both his siblings. Atleast that's the plan. She knows her Haruchiyo wouldn't react too positively to seeing Takeomi, and the eldest sibling knows it too so he reckons the job be done by the youngest Akashi. She knows deep down that even though Takeomi makes no effort, he too wants Haru to come back. "As long as he's well." He says.

Senju sighs and stares at the glittery sky, trying to name a few constellations. She spots 'The Orion' , the 'Ursa Minor' anddd..... uh that's it. Shortly after giggling at her own failure, she gets back to admiring the twinkling heavenly bodies with a subtle smile draping her lips.

You are my star. The loving words of her brother ring in her ears. Your light will always save me. She's not scared anymore. Today she'll fight with all she has to protect the future of her loved ones. Senju sucks in a breath of determination. "Haru-nii, wait for me. I'm coming to save you."

[ray-ray-writings]

UMM THIS

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe24dvmM/

Im sorry I know you are packed and busy but can I make a request based on that video?? BECAUSE HOT DAM JUST WILBUR ENTERING LIKE

‘WHAT IS THIS I HEARD ABOUT HURTING Y/N AND TOMMY ‘

LOOK AT THAT VIDEO LOOK AT IT AND TELL ME YOU ARENT SIMPING TO THAT MAN

I simply cannot tell you that because it would be untrue because I am SIMPING so hard…. Also this was way longer and had a lot more plot than I originally planned so…. There’s that lol. Hope you enjoy. (P.S. Because it’s so long, this is going to be the only post tonight, my brain is a bit fried rn lol. Have a great night everyone!)

Warnings: Mentions of very quickly losing a lot of weight, it’s brief but it’s there. As well as, manipulation from Dream. At one point the reader is like “wow it’s been three days since you hit me… Thanks Dream!” And a few swear words here and there. 

Before Wilbur died, you and Wilbur were married. It absolutely broke your heart to watch the love of your life lose his mind (and then his life) for the nation that you and he created to raise and protect your boys in. But you stood by his side until the very end. You held his hand as he died and clutched his body with Phil once it was over. Ghostbur gave you somewhat of a shock. Because you’re husband was back, and he remembered you. He was the man you had married. The person he was before the presidency, before the war, before L’Manberg… You’re Wilbur was back. But you were still sad. You couldn’t hug him or kiss him like you were able to and although he seemed to be right in front of you, it felt like he couldn’t be farther away. Ghostbur can see this and decides that if he can, he really wants to try to come back to life. He tells his father and older brother about this and so they begin planning and researching. In doing this, they kind of accidentally turn a blind eye to what is happening to you and Tommy. 

While those three are figuring out how to bring Wilbur back from the dead, you and Tommy are being harassed by Dream. Something else you lost when you lost Wilbur was protection from Dream. For some reason, Dream was always afraid of Wilbur. Perhaps it was his ability to always stand up for what he wanted and fight for the things he loves… Or perhaps it was because he was Techno’s brother. Doesn’t matter. Point is when you lost Wilbur you lost the protection from Dream. Dream threatens you and Tommy, trying to provoke Tommy and trick him into doing stuff so that Dream could get him in trouble and one day it finally works. Dream tells Tommy where George’s vacation house is because he knows that Tommy cannot resist checking a place out and looking through other people’s stuff. So Tommy drags Ranboo over there and while they’re there they accidentally knock over a lantern and burn some of the house and some of the chests. On the other side of the server, Dream is in your home, poking fun at you for losing your husband and telling you that it was partially your fault and just stuff like that. You didn’t react. You never could when talking to Dream. But his words stung and slashed deep, and he knew it. Finally after a while of this, Tommy comes bursting through your front door, out of breath and seemingly panicked. “What’s the matter?” You ask softly, leaving your kitchen and going to comfort your boy. Tommy is about to spill everything but when he looks up he sees Dream and immediately swallows his words. “We were playing tag… That’s all… Tag” he says. You absolutely do not believe him but you catch his gaze and know that whatever he’s done he cannot say it in front of Dream. So you decide you’ll just have to wait…. You don’t have to wait long. 

“You burnt down George’s vacation home?” Dream’s deadly tone sounds from the kitchen. Your eyes widen and scan Tommy’s face and the look that overtakes him, you know it’s true. “I did not burn it down… I knocked over a lantern and a small fire broke out… I tried to repair everything, it’s fine.” Tommy insists. But Dream seems too pissed to listen to reason. “Come with me” he hisses, marching forward and snatching Tommy’s wrist tightly and marching out of the house. A small whimper left Tommy’s lips as he was pulled causing you to fly into a rage. “Let go of him!” you demand, chasing after them. Dream doesn’t listen and so you reach out and shove his shoulder causing him to stumble, let go of Tommy’s wrist and whip around to face you too. A chilling smile rests on his face, “Oh you just messed up big time.” Before you can react, he reaches out, grabs your wrist, grabs Tommy’s again and continues on down the Prime Path. You’d try to fight it but the grip on your wrist was just too strong. Dream pulls you to Tubbo and immediately jumps on the boy. He explains what happened as well as says that you assaulted him and that he wants you two exiled from L’Manberg or there will be hell to pay. Dream tells Tubbo he will start a war and will kill everyone and everything if his orders are not followed. You can tell Tubbo really doesn’t want to, but it’s something he has to do. Tubbo lets out a small sigh and nod, “Okay Dream. You win.” He murmurs, not looking at Tommy’s betrayed face. “Excellent choice, Mr. President,” the man spits out. “Tubbo” Tommy utters broken heartedly, staring at his best friend, silently begging him to say sike… It never comes. “Dream please escort Tommy and Y/N out of my country.” “With pleasure” You wrist is seized again and you’re being dragged away from your home. 

After you three get out of the SMP, Dream lets go of your wrists and lets you walk for yourself. You approach Tommy and wrap a comforting arm around him. “It’s going to be okay Tommy. Everything is going to be okay.” You comfort the young boy who sighs and nods, “I just can’t believe that he would throw me under the bus like that,” Tommy murmurs. “I know kiddo. I know.” You follow Dream for a very long time until he is satisfied that you are far enough away from the rest of the SMP. “Okay, we stop here… Put your stuff in this hole,” Dream commands, digging a small hole for the two of you to throw your stuff in. You let out a scoff and roll your eyes, “No way. You’ve already forced us into exile. There’s no way we’re giving you our stuff.” Dream’s face flushed a bright red before he lurched forward and grabbed you. Putting in a headlock to where you’re back was pressed against his chest, his arm around your throat while he has a crossbow to your head. “I’ve had enough of you fucking attitude Y/N. You have no power here. I do. I’m in charge and when I say to do something, you do it. If I ask you to jump, the only thing you may ask after that is “How high?” Do you understand?” You don’t speak, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of obedience. But then the tip of the arrow digs into the side of your head causing you to let out a small pained whimper, “I said, do you understand?” he demands again. “Yes” you finally whimper out. He moves the crossbow away from your skull and lets you go and shoves you forward, stumbling into Tommy who catches you and stabilizes you. “Put your stuff in the hole… Now” he growls, not in the mood for any more ‘games’. You and Tommy share a look and then a sigh and slowly put your things in the hole like he demanded. And you could only watch as he placed TNT above it and blew up everything. All of your items that you had worked hard for… Gone in a moment. Dream leaves with a cackle. You and Tommy are just there. Shocked. Finally, after a few moments, you’re able to shake yourself out of it. “Okay… Let’s get started, there’s no time to waste.” Tommy just looks at you and then he sighs and nods. “Let’s do it then.” The two of you spend the rest of the day gathering materials and building yourself a little shelter. You were all alone… At least you were all alone with your brother.

As we all know, Dream comes back almost every day. He comes back, blows up your stuff and leaves. The first time he came back you tried to stop him… It didn’t go well. “Dream, please he just-“ He cut off your words with a harsh slap across the face. It sends you flying and leaves your head spinning. “Haven’t you learned yet? Stuff. Hole. Now.” And you have no choice but to obey. You watch with a broken heart as Tommy slowly begins to actually trust Dream and believe him when he says that no one misses him. You do your best to be there for him and convince him that it’s not true but as days go by and no one, not even your Ghostbur, you can’t help but slowly believe that they’ve forgotten about you two. As time goes on, it seems that you and Tommy fade. You lose a lot of weight. Your food source is scarce and you have to do a lot of work because you’re restarting every. single. day. You get hurt a lot easier and it takes a lot more time to recover. Every once in a while, Dream will physically hurt you. Whether it a slap or a small sword slash, he does it just to make sure you still remember who’s in charge. You just learn to take it and deal with it. It hurts, but at least it’s you and not Tommy. Ranboo visits you once and is horrified at what he sees. He’s worried about you, but knows he can do basically nothing to help you. He makes a mental note to tell someone about it back in the SMP…. And even though he has memory problems, this is one thing he cannot forget. 

On the other side of the SMP, Philza, Techno, and Ghostbur have done it. They’ve cracked it. They have figured out how to bring Ghostbur back to life and to bring back Wilbur. The three make the plan and tell no one, especially not you. (Yeah…. They don’t even realize that you and Tommy aren’t around rn lol) They want to make sure this works before they tell anyone. So they do all the prep and the work and then they perform the ritual. They perform it in a cave somewhere just a little bit away from Techno’s house so that absolutely no one would know where they are or what they were doing. They begin just as nightfalls. Carefully completely each step and making sure they’re doing everything just right, knowing if they fuck up one small thing it’s over and they won’t be able to get Wilbur back. The three complete the final step and wait…. Nothing happens. “Fuck!” Techno curses, his eyes falling to the book, “We did everything right! It should have worked!” “Techno calm down, we’re all upset but at least we-” Philza doesn’t get to finish. All of the sudden a bright light floods the room. The light? It’s coming from Ghostbur. “Uhh guys?” the ghost questions in fear as he is levitated off the ground. Philza and Techno cannot look at him for fear of going blind. Ghostbur is unsure of what is happening but then the shredding pain fills his body. A scream rips from his throat as his whole form begins to physicalize. The skin begins to become real as the bones, blood, organs, and all other internal body parts forms. All memories that Ghostbur had forgotten flood Wilbur’s mind as his whole life flashes before his eyes, reminding him of everything. It only lasts a few moments more before the light fades and Wilbur is dropped from the air. His body hits the ground with an extremely harsh thump. He feels the impact and lets out a groan. His whole body is sore… But he’s there. He’s real and most importantly he’s alive. “Wilbur?” Philza asks hesitantly. Wilbur lets out another groan. The two standing men share a look before rushing to his side. They kneel beside him and gently reach out. Don’t tell anyone but tears threaten to fall from both men’s eyes, Philza and Techno’s, as their hands actually are able to touch Wilbur and they don’t go through him as if he were a ghost. They gently help him from his side to laying on his back. At the movement, Wilbur opens his eyes and is met with the tear laced ones of two of his family members. “Hey guys” he manages to croak out, “how’s it going” “Wilbur” Philza breaks, a tear streaming down his cheek before he lurches forward and wraps the boy into a warm hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” the older man sobs to his son. “Shhhh,” Wilbur calms his father, “It’s okay Dadza. I wanted it. You did what you had to do. It’s okay.” To the two’s surprise’s Techno’s buff arms wrap around the two and join in the hug. “It’s uhhh… it’s good to see you Wilbur” Techno grumbles, not really liking the emotion that had built up in his chest. Wilbur let out a soft laugh, “Good to see you too Tech.” 

The sweet moment is broken by someone calling Techno’s name a little ways away from the cave. At first, they elect to ignore it, but then the voice calls again, this time for Philza and they can tell now that whoever it is, is panicking. So the two help Wilbur up and gently help him out of the cave. They look out over the snow and find Ranboo there, standing on Techno’s front porch. “Ranboo!” Techno calls out causing the tall boy to turn around and then run at them. “Techno! Phil!.... Is that Wilbur? Like actual real Wilbur? He’s alive?” Ranboo asks, his tone still slightly panicked. “Yes Ranboo… It’s a long story but to sum it up we managed to bring Wilbur back to life… Now why are you here and why are you panicked.” Ranboo’s eyes shift back to Wilbur and gulps, “I knew you weren’t going to like this… But now you’re really not going to like this… Dream is hurting Y/N and Tommy…” All three, especially Wilbur, snap to attention at that. “What?” Wilbur asks harshly. Ranboo gulps and nods before diving into his story. He tells them about your exile and how Dream has been treating you two, blowing up your stuff and even physically harming Y/N. He tells them that Dream has the two convinced that nobody cares about them anymore. The three go stiff at that. Have they all been so focused they really missed all of this? Well time to go right some wrongs. It is almost as if all ache and tiredness left Wilbur’s body at the thought of his spouse being hurt, especially at the hands of Dream. He straightens up and takes a few steps toward Ranboo, “Take them to us” he speaks, his tone pretty damn dark. Ranboo nods and quickly turns around and leads the three men back to the exile spot. 

Back in exile, you and Tommy built a house… Logsted! It wasn’t exactly your taste, but it made Tommy happy so you lived in it together. You had woken up, actually feeling kind of good. The bruises and nicks on your face had slowly begun to heal and Dream hadn’t hit you in the past three days. You had a nice dinner last night, you and Tommy had found some chickens and made a small chicken farm a little ways away from the house so that way Dream couldn’t easily find it, but point is you had chicken for dinner… that’s what I was getting at… I’ll move on. So long story short, you were feeling good. The sun had risen and so Tommy and you were just kind of waiting for Dream to show up so you could get the daily blowing up over with. And like clockwork, he shows up, but for some reason he’s angry. For the past couple days he’d actually be pleasant to be around, greeting you asking you how you’ve been. But today was different. He slammed the door open and begins digging a hole in the middle of Logstedshire… That’s really weird. He was going to blow up the stuff inside the house? No way. But he points to the hole and you know he wants you to dump your items in. You move to the hole but don’t throw your stuff in, “Inside the house? Can we please go outside, I don’t want to ruin our hard work” wrong thing to say. A growl escapes Dream’s lips as he reaches forward and slaps you hard across the face, harder than he’s ever slapped you. It is enough to make you dizzy, but you don’t even have time to recover because his hand is in your hair, yanking it back forcing you to look at him. “You stupid bitch. You would think that after all this time, you would have learned by now… I mean you were doing so so well. But it just seems that you never learn your lesson… Guess I’ll have to teach you yet again.” And he pulls out his sword and points it at your stomach, ready to slice you again. Just as he’s about to harm you, the door swings open again and someone stumbles in. They lean against the doorframe with their hand grabbing the top of the frame. You can hear Tommy let out a gasp and you watch Dream’s eyes widen in fear. “So Dream,” an all too familiar voice calls, “What’s this about hurting Y/N and Tommy now?” And then you’re let go by Dream. You crash to the ground, fall flat on your ass, but you manage to scramble to a stand as you stare at the door frame in complete... Shock? Amazement? Fear? You can’t tell. You’re husband, Wilbur, is standing there in the flesh. Literally in the flesh. He’s alive again and you cannot believe it. “Wilbur” Dream stutters out, “You’re alive? How-” “That doesn’t matter, Dream. What matters is the fact that you’ve been hurting Y/N and Tommy… We can’t have that. So now what is going to happen is I’m going to take my family back to L’Manberg and you are never going to hurt them again,” Wilbur announces, moving ever so slightly further into the room. Seeming to have recovered just a bit from shock, Dream actually retorts, “Or what?”. Two more people enter the house and it causes Dream to blanch even further. “I think you know what… now run along.” Not wanting to risk it, Dream takes off running. 

Once you’re sure he’s gone, you allow yourself to speak. “Wilbur?” You whisper out, still not sure if this is real or if you’re dreaming. Wilbur’s attention shifts to you and he completely soften. “Hello,” he greets with a soft smile on his face, taking a few steps toward you, “Have you missed me?” Deciding you don’t care if he’s real or not, you rush forward and throw yourself into his arms. You, like Philza and Techno, almost cry at the feeling of your body’s connecting. He’s here. He’s real. And he’s alive. His arms wrap around you and hold you to him so tightly, you almost can’t breathe. But you don’t care. You’re hugging your husband. You’re actually hugging your husband. “I missed you so much, Wilby. I mean we had Ghostbur but it wasn’t the same. I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulders, the tears slowly falling out of your eyes. His hand comes up and slowly pets your head, in silent comfort and reassurance. 

After a few minutes you pull away slightly, “How are you-” You’re cut off by his lips pressing against your and you cannot help but melt. It has been months since his passing and this was just the absolute best feeling in the world. You kiss back with so much passion it makes your head spin, this time in a good way. It’s also probably the only time ever his brother’s didn’t fake vomit at the sight of you kissing. You only pull back to catch a breath, but right as you breathe in, Wilbur’s lips are back on yours. The process repeats a few times, before you manage to breathe out a “Will,” causing him to pull back, but leaving his forehead resting on yours and his lips just hovering above yours. “Yes my love,” he mumbles to you. “Can we go home please” you ask, not wanting to be here at Logstedshire any longer. He gives you a warn grin, leaning the inch forward and kissing you once more before giving his answer. “Of course my love. Let’s get out of here.”