#Tomorrow morning if it doesn't
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Hi!!! Im a big fan of ur fics! I noticed you reblogged the tdj third anniversary event and was wondering if u were going to be participating as a fic writer? Ik ur going through burnout rn so no pressure!! But ill be rlly excited if u r participating :)
Thank you so much 💜
Unfortunately, I don't think I will be participating as a fic writer. Not because I don't want to (because I do), or because I'm not tempted (because I am), or even that I don't have ideas (I most certainly do), but simply because it's not what's good for me right now.
The burnout is definitely a factor but, on top of that, I'm experiencing some pretty serious anxiety about the number of projects I'm currently juggling. I'm a person who usually finishes a fic before I start posting them and I currently have way too many of them that are ongoing, each one only making me feel more stressed.
(And more like a failure.)
And adding new ones, no matter how short they are, would require postponing the fics I'm already working on. Which, predictably, would only make my anxiety worse. So even if I love the event and would have loved to be able to participate, I really don't think I can.
My goals for my writing this month are to a) finish posting my Stuckony fic, b) start posting the self-indulgent 46k+ fic I wrote for a completely different fandom, and c) get as close as possible to finishing my Black Knight fanfic, since it's probably the easiest to complete at this stage.
After that, we'll see.
If I can, I'll try to draw something for the TDJ event, though, since it's a lot quicker and, quite frankly, a lot better for my mental health xD Drawing doesn't require nearly as much mental bandwidth and, unlike writing, doesn't actually drain me of energy. A lot of the time, it does the opposite.
So yeah. Sadly, I won't be writing any fics for the event. For the sake of my mental health, if I'm writing, I'll be working on projects that are already ongoing, not starting new ones.
#Amethystina Replies#Anonymous#Trust me when I say that I wish I could#And I totally understand why you'd be excited#I'm very flattered that you are!#But I really need to give myself a fair chance at finishing the projects I already have#Instead of starting new ones#I mean#You all will be getting writing either way#Just not for this particular event#One thing I didn't mention in my plans for this month:#Post chapter 41#I just didn't add it since that'll probably be happening tonight if all goes well#Tomorrow morning if it doesn't
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POV: You're Elias Bouchard
#FINALLY posting fanart for my hyperfixation#expect more tma fanart when artfight is over#art#artists on tumblr#digital artist#my art#tma#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#jon sims#the archivist#martin blackwood#sasha james#as in the actual real sasha james#this is s1 fanart#tim stoker#timothy stoker#ermm yeah. thats about it for tags#will be reblogging this tomorrow morning as usual#smash the like and reblog buttons and don't forget to subscribe#also sorry for tim looking a little weird. he's the only one who doesn't wear glasses :[
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If you're still accepting requests, you could draw Cross x Lust?
Hello anon! Definitely still accepting requests! And I need you to know that this request literally short-circuited my brain, because I rendered all of these doodles 🙏
Cross X Lust was Not on my bingo board of things I'd draw, but the combo just settled in my head and felt Super Right and I got to sketching and realized I really liked their energy and just... didn't stop drawing! Thank you SO MUCH for the request! (They give me the vibes of Cross being the one who insists on being chivalrous and very protective, while Lust gets some freedom to relax and be himself and get pampered a bit! Idk if I explained it right, but it makes sense in my brain-)
#utmv#utmv sans#utmv art#my art#spot!drawn#sanscest#lust x cross#cross x lust#I'd call them Crust but I get the feeling that's the one with Dust sooo not tagging it lol#yes that meme is drawn over Fix ot Felix and his hot First-Person-Shooter wife#yes it was the second thing I did after making the sketch on the left#idk I just think they'd make really good partners and I can't articulste why? I just know Cross would threaten to kill a man if thry insult#Lust tho so I think that's a decent explanation#ANYWHO I have been thinking about them since you sent in this ask anon and it has been providing me serotonin so Thank You#hope you guys enjoy!!#cross sans#lust sans#acheduling this for early tomorrow morning btw so it doesn't get lost in my midnight feed lol
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blessings roll call!!!
#been far too quick to complain lately. I gotta remember to be thankful too so here goes:#thankful for the moderate weather and the rain!#and also my dark green raincoat with a giant hood and pockets#donuts at staff meeting this morning#my friend is getting me tea while she's out (and said she has a gift card so I don't have to pay her back. she's truly the sweetest)#changing my major is moving along sooo slowly but it is moving and maybe God is trying to teach me patience (again)#Christmas in July is tomorrow!#I have my Secret Santa gift all ready and just need to wrap it#also I think the girls in the activities I teach are having fun and learning things#and even though everyone on staff is so tired this week we are all pulling together and supporting one another#is it a perfect hunky dory time? no.#is it gonna be ok in the end? yes#is it worth it? also yes.#anyway feel free to join me in being thankful. it doesn't fix the problems but it does help obsess over them a lot less.#*gripping the sink* I WILL be grateful I WILL
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it's the tenth and i've only written two chapters, i'm in trouble with the burnout again folks x.x
#to be fair#real life has stepped up the crazy#i really don't want to get my cancer MRI tomorrow#it just...doesn't end#until it does i guess#i might write off the morning at least#and see how we go this afternoon#but yeah normally i've written 5-7 chapters by now#and then take the last half of the month easier#it's really not a good sign that we're this far in#and i've just got two chapters to show for it#gdi
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" It's not your fault "
| Apparently I can't do anything without making it about this AU-
Anyways I have other things TO post.... Just whether I can before tomorrow ngddj
But I doubt it yrjryhrt I'm in too much pain and work takes too much out of me... Despite wanting to leave for ages now fnfgj................... Anyways
. Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .
#MASTER-K0HGA#Ary / Kohga Chronicles#Ary / Kohga OC and Works#Kohga#Sooga#Master Kohga#AU! GRIEF#Grief! Sooga#Grief! Kohga#Grief! Master Kohga#Trrjjryj Started this fckung shit this morning but the WiFi decided to be a piece of shit#And stop working on me so now finishing it at like jtthhf 11:30pm so I don't have to#Do it tomorrow or anything rjdggfjgng I hate the Internet it's shit and doesn't work fhdfkthd
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being an adult is all fun and games until i have to take my cat to the vet for urinary inflammation and myself to the dentist for a massive cavity and infection in the same fucking day 🙃🙃🙃
i'm so tired
#at least he doesn't have a blockage#i cried so much this morning i was so worried#but he should be okay#they gave me pain meds for him and also gave him a shot to help the inflammation at the vet so#also my face hurts#and i need a root canal#but it's gonna be $3600 total and i don't have insurance#and it's only $600 or so total to get it pulled#but i don't wanna lose my tooth#but i'm pretty sure i've had issues with this tooth before so like#idk it might be easier to just pull it#anyways i'm fucking tired#it was a very long day#and very expensive 😭😭#(although god bless my friend for being moral support and helping me cover the vet bill)#i'm gonna eat dinner and take my antibiotics for my face infection#and then i'm going to go the fuck to bed bc i have to bus across the city for work tomorrow#fml#when it rains it fucking pours man#feel like a hurricane is hitting my life rn#fuck#personal rambles#ignore this#not stargate
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I am officially snowed in.
#ladylynse#lynse complains about the weather#I mean we need the snow#I know we need the snow#but there's so much snow#everything I had on today was cancelled thankfully#and we were told to come into work for noon tomorrow#so I have a bit of time in the morning to figure it out#if someone else can make it in to do the one thing that really really needs to be done the rest of us will wait till the next day#and just kinda hope this doesn't screw us completely#but if no one else can make it in I'm gonna have to walk#which ordinarily takes about an hour but#not with two feet of snow#ugh it's gonna be cold tomorrow too
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I'm doing really very bad right now but in such a weird, boring way that it's hard to grapple with. no dramatic symptoms just sitting cold and wet in my empty bathtub for 50 minutes ruminating and feeling Unpleasant and wanting to get up but not feeling in control of myself
#i think this is anxiety but it doesn't physically feel like my past experience with anxiety#i think my brain and body are going help help help#i think i need to tell my boss that he needs to help me or i need time off to get better#but the devils advocate in my brain is working overtime telling me i'm a hypochondriac#complaining#bad brain blogging#posting this as a record for myself when i start minimizing things tomorrow morning
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okay, unrelated to any sort of actual analysis for how well they're doing, my top picks for who I want to win secret life is cleo, etho, or scar
#tbh i'd be happy with anyone who hasnt already though#i think an impulse win would also be great#if gem wins i hope she doesn't win...comfortably. like no 30 hearts left LOL i want it closer than that#anyway. cleo etho scar. let's check back on this post tomorrow morning...
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I made a little polymer clay Barnaby charm and he's in the oven as we speak.
#See#he is a little pooch#wittle guy#I'll show close ups tomorrow#this is gonna take a while since imma leave him in the oven till the morning#because the instructions said#To do not take out of the oven until it becomes completely cooled#So that way it doesn't crack#but yeah#anyways#rambles#welcome home#barnaby b beagle#clay charms
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POV switches in chapter 108
This is generally me trying to figure out which parts of the novel are from wei wuxian's limited perspective and which ones are omniscient, as they switch pretty frequently and without warning. And also specifcally because @darkfalcon-z asked in a reply to a post I made earlier today!
Obvious disclaimer that this meta looks pretty closely into specific wording, and that my source remains a translation. I haven't read the original text and so can't attest to my accuracy there.
So MDZS gets real messy with its narration. It obviously starts in omniscient with celebrating Wei Wuxian's death, but spends a lot of its time in limited, most exemplary shown by the enduring obliviousness wei wuxians has towards lan wangji's feelings never being explicitly undercut by the narration.
The novel... does NOT telepgraph when it switches povs. Moreover, wei wuxian does sometimes make confident statement about how other characters feel. Prime example being him talking about how jiang cheng would react to finding out about his core
This being, notably... NOT what Jiang Cheng's actual reaction is when he does find out. That's because wwx is working with incomplete information here, he didn't know Jiang Cheng was willing to lose his core for him to begin with.
Also, he afformentioned obliviousness to Lan Wangji leading to him, multiple times, attributing the wrong motivations to lan wangji's actions.
The novel doesn't outright say "wei wuxian assumed/ thought that jiang cheng would react like that" in the screenshot above, but it DOES clearly show, by leading with him thinking about why he thought he coudn't tell jiang cheng about the golden core transfer, that we're in his head at the moment. And so the following statements are also his thoughts, not omniscient narrations. The difference is very subtle. But it's there
So we're in chapter 108. right before Lan Xichen stabs Jin Guangyao, an we're clearly in omniscient.
Lan Xichen's feelings are stated plainly and there's not very much focus on Wei wuxian at all. It switches over briefly to him and lwj checking up on Wen Ning but his feelings are not overriding everything else.
Then the stab happens
We're still in omniscient here. "Lan xichen felt his heart go cold" a detail Wei Wuxian couldn't know, stated plainly as a matter of fact.
However.
I think this part
Is where we retreat from omniscient back into wei wuxian's pov. We're not told anything about either of these character's inner worlds, but do get some extra litte commentary that jgy was so slow that even Jin Ling could catch him with his eyes closed! That's not something either Lan Xichen or jgy would be thinking of right now. It is, however, a comment Wei Wuxian's inner monologue might think to make.
In the context of my earlier post, which this was inspired by. It also makes some assumptions. Namely, that Xichen is just going after jgy to catch him. It doesn't explicitly say so, because we're not in omniscient anymore but it's clear Wei Wuxian thinks so as he'll feel the need to warn him in a few seconds. This is interesting, as it directly contradicts a popular fan interpretation of this scene, that's become explicitly canonized in multipe adaptations, which is that Lan Xichen is intentionally going along with and is willing to die with him. I'm not saying this theory is correct based on its popularity alone, obviously. I was actually surprised to find out it was so vague when I read the novel considering its popularity!
By the next chapter we'll be unambiguously back into wei uxian's head, and after "Lan Xichen could no longer persuade himself to silence him again" which is in the paragraph before the one in the image above, we are no longer told any other character's feelings or inner thoughts except for Wei Wuxian's. Specifically, this:
So this describes wei wuxian realizing a "something" what something? well, this something.
Again, the difference is subtle. The statement of "He was fighting with his last breath to lead Lan Xichen towards Nie Mingjue, so they could die together!" might seem like another one of those "other charcters' feelings" statements. But we're not IN Jin Guangyao's head right now. This is describing actions, not thoughts. He's not trying to get away (a visible action wwx would be privy to) which must be because...see statement above.
And all of this is framed under the banner of Wei Wuxian saying he realized something, and that being that Jin Guangyao isn't trying to get away and Lan Xichen needs to get away from him because... see statement above. This line basically starts as a repitition of what Wei Wuxian said, repeating his assumption, and then clarifying what Wei Wuxian DOES think is happening. The whole paragraph between is just buildup for the payoff of what that "something" of the realization is. MXTX could have writtern "wei wuxian, however, realized something. Jin Guangyao wasn't trying to get away! Instead he was trying to lead Lan Xichen towards Nie Mingjue so they could die together" and them describe the scenario, it'd be functionally the same in the manner of what information was conveyed, but the little gap in setup and payoff increases suspense and makes the reveal more engaging. It's a good little writing trick!
That wording above does make it way more obvious that that statement? Is one of wei wuxian's. That's what HE thinks.
In the line where jgy pushes lan xichen away, we're still not privy to their feelings or thoughts at all.
But we do get this curious litle "yet,"
That means this is a subversion, something that goes against what was previously established. Namely, that jin guangyao would want lan xichen to get caught by nie mingjue. The actual reality of the situaton conrasts hat we were told earlier. it's a surprise. to who? Well, to all the other characters watching this go down. wwx among them. We get other little commentaries, like how the sight of jgy being choked by nmj is frightening, placing us even further away from his inner world and into the shoes of someone watching him in the temple.
The style being used here is similar to the one in the next chapter, when nie huasang's plan is unveiled. First you get bit of dialogue with clear implications from Wei Wuxian, and then we go into wei wxuxian's head. In a few lines it's explicitly established that he's questioning things, and we are following his line of thought. And then a whle account of nie huasang's plan is given. With no further affirmation that we're still in wei wuxian's head. That's based on context clues given prior. Is this recount of the plan correct? Most likely, yeah! But we're never expicitly told. We are still in wei wuxian's head.
This bit on Jin Guangyao is similar. From the removal of stating other character's feelings (a possible exception might be the statement that "Nie Mingjue is not afraid of spiritual weapons" but that is something observable to wwx who's been seeing nmj not give a shit for a good few minutes now. We get nothing he's not privy to) and a clear indication that we're inside his head now. What we get next is his reocunt of the events, and they're fairly factul as he simply tells us what he sees, but when he gets into the reasons for why things ar ehappening? Well, if we wanted to, we could doubt that.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#wei wuxian#god perspective in this novel is EXHAUSTING#every writing advice blog and course i've ever seen is like DON'T SWITCH POVS MID SCENE IT'S CONFUSING#and mxtx took that as a personal challenge#narrator so unreliable you don't even know who's narrating half the time#apologies for not including alt text! it's midnight here and the site i'm using to get these screenshots doesn't allow me to copy-paste!#i'll add id tomorrow morning
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my body like what if we got sick for the first time in over a year the night before we're supposed to do friend things for the first time in weeks? yeah? good???
#):#idk if i'm actually getting sick but it doesn't feel like allergies#i am so.#carrie is supposed to crash here tomorrow night and now i am like#even if i am not violently ill in the morning maybe that's not a great idea#and i don't think i should take my stupid maybe maybe not sick ass to spend hours with a bunch of friends#in the house with the MONTH OLD BABY#)))))))))))))))))))))))))):
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i hate bras and i do not wear them they're against my 'let them jiggle' religion
#— ai rambles#i prefer bralettes or nothing at all but im not that gifted in the area so it rly doesn't matter#tmi maybe skjdf#ANYWAY i need to pack now#i know i will keep postponing and will end up packing at 3am forgetting all the essentials or last min tomorrow morning#again forgetting all the essentials
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Anyway how is everyone doing
#had to get up at 6 in the morning and therefore had 4 hours of sleep today (a weekly occurence pretty much)#so i just took a nap which took all evening and i'm still tired yayyyyy. because naps only work how they should about 10% of the time#and also i did nothing else today because sleep and now i'm truly wondering what to do with myself anymore#meanwhile i have to get up and go to school again tomorrow 😑 and the day after that 😑 and the day after that 😑#or i could drop out again and have nothing else to do anyway and continue rotting in my room#(whether it's my dorm room or my actual room doesn't matter). what's the pointtttttt#might be reaching some kind of limit or maybe i'm truly just dramatising and should just chill about it all#save me 4 hours of music listening now probably. idk man#got my minimal amount of social interaction today in the form of riding the elevator with 3 of the ppl from my course#when i could have (and normally would have) just taken the stairs instead#i feel like i made a big important step today that will help me later on through this year (no not really)#at least one thing i've noticed recently is that i might have the reverse of what is i guess is usually called seasonal depression#in the sense that now that it's chilly and cloudy and it gets dark earlier i feel like i'm finally LIVING in a way#the good effect of that will probably pass after a week or two though#but also just a bit over a month left now until my birthday and then my long awaited trip!!#anyone else get unreasonably excited for their birthday each year even though there's never anything special about it in the end#and that only makes the day more depressing lol#ok whatever i'm done whining now i think. music time then#celebrating (a bit late) one year of gratsax and lil beethoven today. some of the albums of all time for me personally#goosepost
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officially done everything on my Saturday list, despite the universe conspiring against me in multiple ways (plus making soup lol). plan for this evening is to clean up the bathroom (which is. very muddy due to the shower mishap), bath and do my bi-weekly exfoliate/shave/mask/whatever routine (very much needed bc you know. the mud.), and then try and chill out for a while and leave everything else for tomorrow.
#really hoping i can just get away with going to the mall for like an hour tomorrow morning and then spend the rest of the day at home#except goddamn family dinner lol#love my parents and they did give me an out and say i could skip this week if i was too busy BUT dad is getting an apple pie....#anyway. at least the mall doesn't open till 11 tomorrow so i can sleep in without my panic brain kicking in
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