#Tomorrow morning if it doesn't

[amethystina]

Hi!!! Im a big fan of ur fics! I noticed you reblogged the tdj third anniversary event and was wondering if u were going to be participating as a fic writer? Ik ur going through burnout rn so no pressure!! But ill be rlly excited if u r participating :)

Thank you so much 💜

Unfortunately, I don't think I will be participating as a fic writer. Not because I don't want to (because I do), or because I'm not tempted (because I am), or even that I don't have ideas (I most certainly do), but simply because it's not what's good for me right now.

The burnout is definitely a factor but, on top of that, I'm experiencing some pretty serious anxiety about the number of projects I'm currently juggling. I'm a person who usually finishes a fic before I start posting them and I currently have way too many of them that are ongoing, each one only making me feel more stressed.

(And more like a failure.)

And adding new ones, no matter how short they are, would require postponing the fics I'm already working on. Which, predictably, would only make my anxiety worse. So even if I love the event and would have loved to be able to participate, I really don't think I can.

My goals for my writing this month are to a) finish posting my Stuckony fic, b) start posting the self-indulgent 46k+ fic I wrote for a completely different fandom, and c) get as close as possible to finishing my Black Knight fanfic, since it's probably the easiest to complete at this stage.

After that, we'll see.

If I can, I'll try to draw something for the TDJ event, though, since it's a lot quicker and, quite frankly, a lot better for my mental health xD Drawing doesn't require nearly as much mental bandwidth and, unlike writing, doesn't actually drain me of energy. A lot of the time, it does the opposite.

So yeah. Sadly, I won't be writing any fics for the event. For the sake of my mental health, if I'm writing, I'll be working on projects that are already ongoing, not starting new ones.

[enigmatic-enigmas]

POV: You're Elias Bouchard

[spotaus]

If you're still accepting requests, you could draw Cross x Lust?

Hello anon! Definitely still accepting requests! And I need you to know that this request literally short-circuited my brain, because I rendered all of these doodles 🙏

Cross X Lust was Not on my bingo board of things I'd draw, but the combo just settled in my head and felt Super Right and I got to sketching and realized I really liked their energy and just... didn't stop drawing! Thank you SO MUCH for the request! (They give me the vibes of Cross being the one who insists on being chivalrous and very protective, while Lust gets some freedom to relax and be himself and get pampered a bit! Idk if I explained it right, but it makes sense in my brain-)

[flickeringflame216]

blessings roll call!!!

[not-poignant]

it's the tenth and i've only written two chapters, i'm in trouble with the burnout again folks x.x

[sga-owns-my-soul]

being an adult is all fun and games until i have to take my cat to the vet for urinary inflammation and myself to the dentist for a massive cavity and infection in the same fucking day 🙃🙃🙃

i'm so tired

[ladylynse]

I am officially snowed in.

[venndaai]

I'm doing really very bad right now but in such a weird, boring way that it's hard to grapple with. no dramatic symptoms just sitting cold and wet in my empty bathtub for 50 minutes ruminating and feeling Unpleasant and wanting to get up but not feeling in control of myself

[quaranmine]

okay, unrelated to any sort of actual analysis for how well they're doing, my top picks for who I want to win secret life is cleo, etho, or scar

[l0ganberry]

I made a little polymer clay Barnaby charm and he's in the oven as we speak.

[lgbtlunaverse]

POV switches in chapter 108

This is generally me trying to figure out which parts of the novel are from wei wuxian's limited perspective and which ones are omniscient, as they switch pretty frequently and without warning. And also specifcally because @darkfalcon-z asked in a reply to a post I made earlier today!

Obvious disclaimer that this meta looks pretty closely into specific wording, and that my source remains a translation. I haven't read the original text and so can't attest to my accuracy there.

So MDZS gets real messy with its narration. It obviously starts in omniscient with celebrating Wei Wuxian's death, but spends a lot of its time in limited, most exemplary shown by the enduring obliviousness wei wuxians has towards lan wangji's feelings never being explicitly undercut by the narration.

The novel... does NOT telepgraph when it switches povs. Moreover, wei wuxian does sometimes make confident statement about how other characters feel. Prime example being him talking about how jiang cheng would react to finding out about his core

This being, notably... NOT what Jiang Cheng's actual reaction is when he does find out. That's because wwx is working with incomplete information here, he didn't know Jiang Cheng was willing to lose his core for him to begin with.

Also, he afformentioned obliviousness to Lan Wangji leading to him, multiple times, attributing the wrong motivations to lan wangji's actions.

The novel doesn't outright say "wei wuxian assumed/ thought that jiang cheng would react like that" in the screenshot above, but it DOES clearly show, by leading with him thinking about why he thought he coudn't tell jiang cheng about the golden core transfer, that we're in his head at the moment. And so the following statements are also his thoughts, not omniscient narrations. The difference is very subtle. But it's there

So we're in chapter 108. right before Lan Xichen stabs Jin Guangyao, an we're clearly in omniscient.

Lan Xichen's feelings are stated plainly and there's not very much focus on Wei wuxian at all. It switches over briefly to him and lwj checking up on Wen Ning but his feelings are not overriding everything else.

Then the stab happens

We're still in omniscient here. "Lan xichen felt his heart go cold" a detail Wei Wuxian couldn't know, stated plainly as a matter of fact.

However.

I think this part

Is where we retreat from omniscient back into wei wuxian's pov. We're not told anything about either of these character's inner worlds, but do get some extra litte commentary that jgy was so slow that even Jin Ling could catch him with his eyes closed! That's not something either Lan Xichen or jgy would be thinking of right now. It is, however, a comment Wei Wuxian's inner monologue might think to make.

In the context of my earlier post, which this was inspired by. It also makes some assumptions. Namely, that Xichen is just going after jgy to catch him. It doesn't explicitly say so, because we're not in omniscient anymore but it's clear Wei Wuxian thinks so as he'll feel the need to warn him in a few seconds. This is interesting, as it directly contradicts a popular fan interpretation of this scene, that's become explicitly canonized in multipe adaptations, which is that Lan Xichen is intentionally going along with and is willing to die with him. I'm not saying this theory is correct based on its popularity alone, obviously. I was actually surprised to find out it was so vague when I read the novel considering its popularity!

By the next chapter we'll be unambiguously back into wei uxian's head, and after "Lan Xichen could no longer persuade himself to silence him again" which is in the paragraph before the one in the image above, we are no longer told any other character's feelings or inner thoughts except for Wei Wuxian's. Specifically, this:

So this describes wei wuxian realizing a "something" what something? well, this something.

Again, the difference is subtle. The statement of "He was fighting with his last breath to lead Lan Xichen towards Nie Mingjue, so they could die together!" might seem like another one of those "other charcters' feelings" statements. But we're not IN Jin Guangyao's head right now. This is describing actions, not thoughts. He's not trying to get away (a visible action wwx would be privy to) which must be because...see statement above.

And all of this is framed under the banner of Wei Wuxian saying he realized something, and that being that Jin Guangyao isn't trying to get away and Lan Xichen needs to get away from him because... see statement above. This line basically starts as a repitition of what Wei Wuxian said, repeating his assumption, and then clarifying what Wei Wuxian DOES think is happening. The whole paragraph between is just buildup for the payoff of what that "something" of the realization is. MXTX could have writtern "wei wuxian, however, realized something. Jin Guangyao wasn't trying to get away! Instead he was trying to lead Lan Xichen towards Nie Mingjue so they could die together" and them describe the scenario, it'd be functionally the same in the manner of what information was conveyed, but the little gap in setup and payoff increases suspense and makes the reveal more engaging. It's a good little writing trick!

That wording above does make it way more obvious that that statement? Is one of wei wuxian's. That's what HE thinks.

In the line where jgy pushes lan xichen away, we're still not privy to their feelings or thoughts at all.

But we do get this curious litle "yet,"

That means this is a subversion, something that goes against what was previously established. Namely, that jin guangyao would want lan xichen to get caught by nie mingjue. The actual reality of the situaton conrasts hat we were told earlier. it's a surprise. to who? Well, to all the other characters watching this go down. wwx among them. We get other little commentaries, like how the sight of jgy being choked by nmj is frightening, placing us even further away from his inner world and into the shoes of someone watching him in the temple.

The style being used here is similar to the one in the next chapter, when nie huasang's plan is unveiled. First you get bit of dialogue with clear implications from Wei Wuxian, and then we go into wei wxuxian's head. In a few lines it's explicitly established that he's questioning things, and we are following his line of thought. And then a whle account of nie huasang's plan is given. With no further affirmation that we're still in wei wuxian's head. That's based on context clues given prior. Is this recount of the plan correct? Most likely, yeah! But we're never expicitly told. We are still in wei wuxian's head.

This bit on Jin Guangyao is similar. From the removal of stating other character's feelings (a possible exception might be the statement that "Nie Mingjue is not afraid of spiritual weapons" but that is something observable to wwx who's been seeing nmj not give a shit for a good few minutes now. We get nothing he's not privy to) and a clear indication that we're inside his head now. What we get next is his reocunt of the events, and they're fairly factul as he simply tells us what he sees, but when he gets into the reasons for why things ar ehappening? Well, if we wanted to, we could doubt that.

[fooltofancy]

my body like what if we got sick for the first time in over a year the night before we're supposed to do friend things for the first time in weeks? yeah? good???

[gojoest]

i hate bras and i do not wear them they're against my 'let them jiggle' religion

[seaofreverie]

Anyway how is everyone doing

[six-of-ravens]

officially done everything on my Saturday list, despite the universe conspiring against me in multiple ways (plus making soup lol). plan for this evening is to clean up the bathroom (which is. very muddy due to the shower mishap), bath and do my bi-weekly exfoliate/shave/mask/whatever routine (very much needed bc you know. the mud.), and then try and chill out for a while and leave everything else for tomorrow.

[propheticfire]

Updated my pronouns on my Unitarian church's website, and immediately after I did it I was like shit, shit, is that really what I want? Is that really what I want? I'm so hesitant to commit to anything. I know what I don't like, and I know what I'm comfortable accepting based on how people clock my gender presentation, but actually committing to something on my own? Aaaaaaugh!