#Tommy Kinard Fanfic

[xunandran]

Fuck it Friday (Firepilot Edition)

This episode was so good! But of course, I gotta make it nasty, lol! I would have been done, but I actually had to go back to work for 4 more hours after the episode was over, so I'm still working on the full fic, but have some Firepilot in honor of 07e06!

Full fic in the link! Not as nasty as I was going for, but still sweet!

“Mmmph.”

The enthusiastic crash of Evan’s lips against his is bewildering and intoxicating. He presses into the other man’s rough lips, crashing and tasting. He’s trying to be careful, trying to avoid imprinting too much of the fire’s afterthoughts into Evan’s clothes and skin. Evan is a beast though, the very definition of what he’d called him, and he’s ravenous. 

When they pull away, Tommy’s breathless, nearly dazed. This wasn’t “go looking for hot chicks” Evan or even “I don’t know what I’m ready for” Evan. Tommy stares at Evan’s resolute blue eyes, twinking with so much devious glee that he feels inexperienced and small. Evan’s face is smeared with soot, his lips are plump, pink, and Tommy just wants to kiss him again. 

Evan’s pulling him by the hand though, pulling him through the hospital’s halls toward Chimney’s room. “Evan. Your face.” But the other man doesn’t listen. He barrels forward singularly. Tommy might have been late, but he was going to be there. 

They’re out of breath by the time they reach the press. Whether that’s from the mad dash, the fire, or Evan’s kiss, Tommy doesn’t know. Evan turns and places his hands on Tommy’s scorched turnout jacket. “They’re man and wife. They’ve kissed the bride and groom. Wish them well, but be quick.”

“Why?” Tommy asks, confused.

Evan smirks, and it spikes through every nerve in Tommy’s exhausted body. “Because I really need to get those off of you… right now.”

“I-uh-Eva…” 

He doesn’t get to finish as Evan pulls him into the hospital room. “Hey! Look who almost made it!” 

The crowd turns to them, and Tommy smiles, soot stained and exhausted. “Congratulations, you two! I’m sorry I missed the ceremony!” 

Chimney nods and smiles. “Thanks Tommy! Looks like you two were… busy.”

Tommy’s honestly thankful for the grime to cover the blush, but Evan’s beaming, and he looks so handsome, soot smudged and all. 

Evan scoots through the crowd to hug his sister and Chimney, and Tommy does his best to make pleasantries without spreading the ash on his clothes. To his left, he hears Evan and Eddie talking, and then they hug, a great tight thing that suggests that maybe everything he might have assumed from yesterday was just a misinterpretation.  

As Evan takes his hand to pull them out of the door, Tommy hears Evan’s mother. “Where are you going?”

Evan stops and looks, first to Maddie, who smiles and nods, then to Eddie, who lightly shakes his head, almost as if he knows Evan’s thoughts better than the other man does. Finally, he looks back at Tommy and smiles before rounding on his parents. “I’m taking my date home to help him get cleaned up.” He doesn’t wait for their response. He pulls Tommy from the cramped hospital room and back down the hall. 

“Evan.” Tommy stops the other man’s frantic pace by digging in. Advantages to having size and muscle mass on your partner. Evan turns to him, smile dopey and giddy, but faltering slightly. “Are you okay?”

Evan scrubs at his mouth, and Tommy swears it just digs the grime in further. Tommy can hear the other man’s nervous swallow. “I-I just did that, huh?”

Tommy scoffs, but it’s a friendly sound. His eyes crinkle with warm affection, and his nose creases with a smile that is apparently enough to calm Evan, because the megawatt smile returns, teeth and sunshine. “You just did that. I hope you don’t feel like I-”

“No,” Evan interrupts, resolute. “I said you were my date today. You’re my date today.” He takes Tommy’s fingers in his, and the older man lightly thumbs along their joined digits. 

“Okay.”

Tommy watches in real time as Evan’s confidence returns. The man that had just been shaken from coming out to his entire world squared up and cockily slid closer. Tommy liked this Evan. No, that was accurate. He liked Evan - Neurotic, infodumping, nervous, and now cocksure, he liked them all.

“You wouldn’t think less of me if I put out on the first date, would you?” Evan’s words ghost between kisses. The kisses are warm and sweet, but Evan’s gaze and the way it rakes over him is anything but sweet. 

“I mean,” Tommy shrugs, lips in a tight smirk. “This isn’t our first date, so your virtue’s intact.”

Evan’s fingers slide into Tommy’s hair and lightly pull at the scalp. He kisses him again, fevered and needing. Tommy groans as Evan’s nails lightly rake against the back of his neck. “Let’s take care of that, shall we?” 

Fucking hell, Evan. How was he supposed to resist an invitation like that?

Tommy lets Evan lead him to his jeep. He’s sore. He’s dirty. He’s exhausted. In all honesty, he doesn’t know how high Evan’s expectations are. He only hopes that the other man is understanding. They drive in comfortable silence to Harbor so Tommy can stow his kit and gather his things. Along the way, Evan takes Tommy’s hand and thumbs along the knuckles. Tommy watches him drive, cast in nothing but the slow strobe of streetlights to illuminate him. The lights pull shadows along his strong jaw, his nose, his adam’s apple. Evan catches him looking more than once, but Tommy doesn’t care.

[fuselsstuff]

I need more fic's were i can read about chim and Tommys friendship 🥹

[anna-hawk]

Dating Tommy 101

Evan "Buck" Buckley x Tommy Kinard

Summary: After weeks of Tommy not taking things further than kissing for what Buck supposes to be for his sake, Buck is finally done waiting. He needs to show Tommy that he wants more.

WC: 2,2k

CW: Explicit 🔞, PWP, hand jobs, couch sex, fluff and smut

A/N: After a couple of weeks of doing a marathon rewatch of s1 to s4 and finally reaching s7, it's no surprise that I came out as obsessed as before with Buddie, but also BuckTommy. This ship just grabbed me by the heart and wouldn't let go. It's been a while since I've fallen so hard for a ship and wanting to write for it.

Also on AO3

After all these years of hook-ups before switching to actual dating, Buck thought that he knew how a good date should go. The classics always worked: a restaurant followed by a movie — or the other way around — which would end in a good making out session. If not more.

It turned out that with Tommy, it wasn’t that easy. Not that dating Tommy was complicated as such, because it actually wasn’t, but Buck found it harder to find his rhythm. Their first date had started like any of Buck’s dates with women, and while they’d had fun at the restaurant, Buck had been the one to ruin things by freaking out when Eddie and Marisol had unexpectedly shown up. However, in the following weeks after clearing things up and hanging out again, Buck still didn’t know what he should or shouldn’t expect during their dates. Especially because at the end of each date, Tommy either left Buck’s apartment, or Buck left Tommy’s after a round of goodbye kisses. Intense kisses, but that was it. They had also finally gone to the movies, and while they’d had their heads together as they talked, and their fingers had linked with each other, Tommy hadn’t moved faster than giving Buck a few languid kisses. Kisses that had Buck leaning in for more, but unable to ask for it.

To say that it was driving Buck crazy would have been an understatement. He would have guessed that dating a man would be easier than dating a woman because men understood each other, right? Wrong. He’d made it clear to Tommy that he wasn’t afraid of being out in public with him. After all, how could he be, with the general warm reaction that the 118 had had at the revelation that he and Tommy were a thing? And he’d also thought that he’d made it obvious that he wanted more. Kissing Tommy in the middle of the ER entrance had felt incredibly exhilarating, and he hadn’t been able to, nor had he wanted to, hide just how much he had wanted Tommy then. Yet still Tommy, despite his flirting and innuendos that had left Buck flushed and definitely aroused more than once, didn’t push for more. Buck wasn’t known for his patience, but he also didn’t want to, as his friends liked to call it, buck things up again, so he didn’t push either.

Now, though, after weeks of dates here and there whenever their schedules allowed it, and long kisses that should never end the way they did, Buck’s patience was finally reaching a breaking point.

Tonight, like several times before, they had dinner at Buck’s, the younger man showing off one of Bobby’s recipes, and were now sitting on Buck’s new couch as they watched a movie. They sat with their legs touching and Tommy’s hand casually resting on Buck’s thigh. And just like the previous times, the hand wasn’t moving or not much at least, if the thumb making random circles counted. Buck stared at the hand as he chewed the inside of his cheek, before glancing at Tommy’s relaxed profile. It wasn’t that they’d never kissed while watching a movie or some game, but it had ended like any other times they’d kissed. Buck must have been staring for too long without realizing it, since Tommy suddenly turned his head towards Buck with a curious smile and a lifted eyebrow.

“You okay, Evan?”

Buck blinked a few times at being caught in his thoughtful staring.

“Why aren't we making out?” he blurted out.

This time, both of Tommy’s eyebrows rose as he stared at Buck in surprise.

“Do you wanna make out?” Tommy asked slowly.

“Do you?” Buck knew he sounded a bit reproachful, but he couldn’t help it. He was too frustrated.

Tommy turned his body slightly to face Buck with a taken aback expression.

“What makes you think I don't want to?”

Buck leveled him with a flat look and huffed.

“Because you keep stopping just when it's getting good.”

Tommy's mouth opened in surprise before he laughed softly and shook his head. He ducked his head, then looked up at Buck from under his lashes with a sheepish smile.

“I have been doing that, huh?”

Buck's mouth pulled up into a fond but still exasperated smile. Throwing caution to the wind, Buck swiftly moved until he was straddling Tommy, his knees against the other man’s hips. He lowered his arms over Tommy's shoulders and leaned down a bit to stare into Tommy's tilted back face.

“Listen, I appreciate you taking it slow with me and all that, I really do. But we've been dating for weeks and… unless you don't want more…” Buck shrugged with one shoulder and looked away as his uncertainties came crashing down on him, but Tommy scoffed at his words.

Tommy's hands found Buck's hips and squeezed until the younger man looked at him again.

“Do you really think I don't want more?”

His tone was low and sultry, a tone he'd used on Buck before. It had heat filling Buck's body and face instantly, just like it always did.

“Then do it,” Buck replied simply, and cupped the sides of Tommy's face to tilt his head into the right position to kiss him.

There were no exploratory kisses this time, Buck being too hungry for more to be able to slow down. He stole into Tommy's mouth with his tongue, the other man groaning and answering in kind. His hands slid underneath Buck's shirt, fingers stroking over strong back muscles. Pressing his hips forward, Buck felt lightheaded at the feeling of another growing erection meeting his. He rolled his hips back and forth, giving the new sensation a try, and felt a rush of satisfaction at the way Tommy moaned deeply from the friction. But still, he wanted more. He wanted to touch more. Reaching for the hem of Tommy's shirt, Buck pulled until Tommy moved forward a bit to allow Buck to remove his shirt. Buck sat back on Tommy's lap as he took in the other man's sculpted torso. The man sure had nothing to be envious of Buck's physique. Tommy was ripped in a way that had Buck automatically reaching for his chest and drawing his fingers along each muscle. Buck had always been able to appreciate the male body, even if only to compare himself to other men or set a goal, but this was something else. He wanted to get his hands and mouth all over Tommy.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Buck's eyes snapped to Tommy's, finding an amused expression on the man's face. He hadn't missed the raspy quality of Tommy's voice in the question, however, showing how affected Tommy was by Buck's slow exploration. Grinning slowly, Buck nodded and leaned in to kiss Tommy again. This time it was slower, but it was also deeper. Buck groaned as Tommy grabbed his hips and rolled his own up, making their erections rub together. They briefly separated to let Tommy take off Buck's shirt, which had Buck humming contentedly as their chests touched. Keeping their mouths sealed, Buck slid his hands between their bodies to find the buttons of Tommy’s jeans and pop them open. He shivered from Tommy stroking his fingertips along his back in a maddening pattern, and struggled for a second to unzip the jeans as he moaned into Tommy’s mouth. Once he finally got the fly fully open, Buck’s fingers encountered Tommy’s underwear. Breaking the kiss and pulling away a couple of centimeters, Buck looked down between them. His gaze zeroed in on the barely hidden erection tenting Tommy’s boxer shorts. His heart raced as he stared at it.

“Evan, hey, if you-” Tommy started in a gentle voice, but Buck barely heard him as he slowly peeled the underwear down to reveal Tommy’s bobbing length before he curled his fingers around it.

Buck’s eyes lifted to Tommy’s face as the older man exhaled harshly and let his head fall back over the couch. His fingers tightened over Buck’s hips, and he softly moaned when Buck tentatively twisted his fist over the head of Tommy’s cock. Buck watched, completely mesmerized by Tommy’s pleasure-filled expression, as he worked out what Tommy enjoyed. He’d thought about this moment a lot, wondered what it would feel like to have another man’s dick in his hand. He’d been nervous about it, but seeing Tommy’s erection, knowing that Tommy was hard because of him, had Buck’s hesitations falling away completely. Biting his bottom lip, Buck took his hand away from Tommy for a second and slid his tongue over his palm before returning it to Tommy’s length.

“Fuck,” Tommy hissed at the slicker glide and pumped his hips up in reflex.

Buck chuckled with pride at getting that reaction, and found Tommy opening his eyes halfway to stare at him with a mix of amusement and lust. Reaching for Buck’s nape, Tommy pulled him down for a kiss that was pure filth and had Buck’s erection pressing painfully against the front of his pants. As if Tommy knew, his hands went to Buck’s fly and proceeded to open it. Despite knowing what was coming, between the kissing and keeping his attention on stroking Tommy’s cock, Buck still gasped and jerked wildly as Tommy took him in hand.

“This okay?” Tommy asked in a raspy voice, staring up into Buck’s eyes.

“Uh huh.” Buck licked his lips. “Yeah. Very okay.”

Tommy smiled at him fondly and chuckled. At the back of his mind, Buck wondered how Tommy could believe that Buck wasn’t enjoying every second of this, considering that he could feel the amount of pre-come that his cock was leaking, making each pass of Tommy’s hand more slippery.

“Been thinking of doing this,” Buck blurted out through panting breaths.

“Yeah?” Tommy smiled mirthfully, swiping his thumb over Buck’s slit, which had the younger man moaning and snapping his hips into Tommy’s hand. “Me getting you off, or you getting me off?”

“Yes,” Buck replied, unable to follow the train of conversation for a second after another delicious twist of Tommy’s wrist.

Buck could see Tommy’s grin at his reply, and proceeded to use Tommy’s own move on him in retribution. He smirked victoriously at Tommy’s long groan of pleasure, confirming that he’d done it just right.

“Always been told I’m a quick study,” Buck teased in a low voice, before he licked his way between Tommy’s lips again.

Tommy moaned and tilted his head to deepen the kiss even more. With his other hand, Tommy pulled at Buck’s pants to lower them over his hips, while Buck shifted a bit on his knees to help.

“C’mere,” Tommy said in a soft-spoken tone against Buck’s lips, the man moving in closer as requested.

“Oh, fuck!” Buck gasped loudly, as Tommy took them both into one hand and pressed their lengths together.

Through heavy lidded eyes, Buck stared down at where Tommy was jerking them off faster, the glistening heads rubbing against each other with each upward stroke and driving Buck crazy from how good it felt.

“Evan,” Tommy breathed roughly, which had Buck’s gaze snapping back to the other man’s.

A long shiver of affection and lust ran through him at the open and hungry way that Tommy was looking at him. He leaned down to press his lips against Tommy’s at the same time that Tommy cupped the back of Buck’s neck. The kiss was brief as they panted into each other’s mouth, their foreheads touching as they watched each other getting closer and closer to release. Buck was the first to go over the edge, his forehead creasing and eyes closing as he moaned in pleasure. A few seconds later, Tommy’s body started to go rigid, and Buck forced his eyes open to be able to watch Tommy’s face as he came with a drawn out groan. Hot splashes of come hit Buck’s stomach and mixed with his own as Buck took in Tommy’s blissed out expression, feeling another rush of satisfaction course through him at the sight.

They both sank into the couch as their bodies relaxed with the afterglow. Tommy’s clean hand came around Buck’s waist to keep him close, but it wasn’t like Buck wanted to go anywhere, as he wrapped his arms over Tommy’s shoulders and nuzzled into his temple.

“Remind me why we didn’t do this earlier?” Buck asked drowsily a few long minutes later.

He grinned at Tommy’s snort and long sigh.

“Because I’m an idiot, apparently.”

Buck chuckled and lifted his head to look into Tommy’s soft blue eyes.

“Nah, you’re not… It drove me crazy, but I get it.”

Tommy laughed under his breath and tilted his head in a request for a kiss that Buck instantly granted.

They untangled a minute later and cleaned up before getting dressed again through comfortable silence and shared smiles and touches. As he sat down on the couch next to Tommy again, Buck smiled to himself at how natural it felt to be with Tommy. Maybe it was easier than he’d thought if he could broach the subject that was bothering him instead of just raking his mind over it. As he directed his attention to the screen at last, he frowned.

“So… what were we watching again?” Buck asked, since he realized that he had no idea which movie they had ended up selecting as they’d sat down earlier, too focused on Tommy to remember anything else.

[imakatperson22]

Eddie: Kicks the 3rd woman he’s dated out of his house because of repressed catholic guilt after avoiding having sex with her.

Buck: absolutely flailing as a baby disaster bisexual and sending his date running for the hills before they even finish their meal.

Chris, “out of town” somewhere, sitting on a curb and smoking a cigarette: Jesus Christ, these two fucking idiots…

[weewoo911]

Lou saying that he made little choices to show Tommy was checking Buck out prior to the kiss just made me think of Tommy’s decision to go over and apologise personally. Because Lou also said Tommy had no idea Buck was interested until just before so-

He really went all the way over to Buck’s loft just before work because he thinks he Made The Cute Boy Sad 🥺 And he wanted to personally apologise and fix it

Absolutely whipped behaviour Mr. Kinard 🫡✨

[gregorygerwitz]

AITA for coming out at my sister's wedding?

I (32M) recently realized I'm bisexual and I have my first bf (45M), he's a rescue helicopter pilot (this will be relevant later). I'm out to my sister (41F) and my coworkers, including her husband, who I have worked with for years, but not to my parents or most of the other guests. Everyone has joked that I'm a little too close to my best friend (32M), and we might as well get married, but he's straight and has a gf. They're not relevant to this story, but to give context to how much my sexuality probably shouldn't be a surprise, even if it took me by surprise.

I told my sister and her husband I was bringing a plus one, and they both knew my bf, they were supportive of it because he makes me really happy.

Everything kind of started at the bachelor party. It was just me, my brother-in-law, and my best friend, and we did the usual stuff. We stayed a night in a hotel, went out to get drunk, sang some karaoke at our usual spot. It should have been a super chill night. Until my best friend and I lost the groom??? But it way more stressful than The Hangover makes it look.

He'd been taken by these guys who tried to kill him (no, I don't know why) and we didn't realize he was missing until less than an hour before the wedding. My mom kind of threw a fit about us being late, and then blamed me for losing the groom, which is kind of a normal reaction from her. My dad didn't yell as much but again, this is a normal reaction, I'm kind of the disappointment child. Basically, we had to find my brother-in-law because he still needed to marry my sister.

Before anyone worries: they did get married. He's fine. The hospital says they're discharging him tomorrow to go home. They're gonna reschedule their honeymoon so he's well enough to enjoy it.

Long story short, it turned into a rescue mission, and driving would have taken too long, and my best friend suggested we ask my bf to borrow his helicopter again (long story, but we had to borrow him for something a few months ago, it's how we met!) so I asked him for the favor. My mom asked who he was, since my best friend just used his name, and I told her he's my boyfriend, and she freaked out about it.

When we go to the hospital with my brother-in-law, my parents both yelled at and scolded me for taking attention away from the biggest day of my sister's life by pulling some "stunt" with my bf (to SAVE my brother-in-law from being violently murdered), and I think my dad somehow grounded me?

AITA?

[elliethefroggy]

Buck doesn’t let his jealousy get the better of him, doesn’t body check Eddie at the basket ball match, Tommy doesn’t go over to his apartment, there is no kiss, Tommy does not ask Buck out on a date.

What happens instead is this:

Tommy becomes an honorary 118 member, starts hanging out more and more with everyone from 118. By extension, Tommy starts spending more and more time around Buck. Tommy finds it very inconvenient when he starts crushing on a supposedly straight Buck (Tommy tries to resist but that resistance crumbles every time Buck smiles at him).

Queue Tommy secretly pining over Buck, and sighing longingly whenever he catches a glimpse of Buck.

Now in my mind, Tommy and Chimney remained pretty close after Tommy left, close enough for Tommy to drop everything the moment Chim calls to steal a helicopter. Chim also undoubtebly knows about Tommy’s sexuality.

This means that Chim is witness to Tommy’s pathetic pining. This also means that Chim is there to catch Tommy spending far too much time looking longingly at Buck’s various assets.

“Buck’s going to remain straight no matter how long you stare at his ass,” Chim reminds Tommy. This is not the first time Chim has had to remind Tommy of this.

Tommy sighs despondently, “I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t admire the view.”

“This wouldn’t be nearly as difficult if Evan didn’t have both gorgeous looks and gorgeous personality,” Tommy says one night at a bar. Being a good friend, Chim has started taking Tommy out whenever Buck’s straightness becomes too much for Tommy to bear.

“He’s just so adorable,” Tommy continues.

“I know, buddy,” Chim says, patting Tommy on the back (Chim has also had to pat Tommy on the back a lot as of late).

“Are we sure Evan’s straight?” Tommy asks after the first beer.

Chim, with absolute certainty, says “Yes, now get over yourself, you sad, sad man.” And then Chim buys Tommy another beer because he’s a good friend.

And because Chim is such an amazing friend, Chim can’t help but pay attention whenever Buck and Tommy interact, mostly to make sure Tommy doesn’t make too much of a fool of himself.

Which means he’s also watching Buck, and he’s watching Buck watch Tommy.

And that’s when the doubt creeps in.

Chim’s known Buck for a few years now, has seen what Buck is like around women he’s attracted to, knows what Buck’s pining face looks like.

And he’s seeing that face now whenever Buck looks over at Tommy.

At first Chim doesn’t believe his eyes, figuring that listening to Tommy compliment every single aspect of Buck from his eyelashes to his laugh has corrupted Chim’s brain, making Chim see things that aren’t there.

Because Buck’s straight.

Right?

The more Chim watches, the less he’s sure. Because there’s Buck being somehow both endearingly awkward and seamlessly smooth around Tommy. There’s Buck spending way to long gazing into Tommy’s eyes, and staring at Tommy whenever Tommy’s not looking. There’s Buck zeroing in on Tommy every time Tommy enters the room; There’s Buck holding onto every word coming out Tommy’s mouth. There’s Buck laughing at every one of Tommy’s jokes (and, sure, Tommy’s a funny guy with a real dry sense of humour, but he’s not that funny).

If Chimney didn’t know any better, he would say that Tommy’s not the only one who’s got a crush.

All signs are pointing to Buck wanting to hold Tommy’s hand, go on romantic walks along the beach with Tommy, as well as do more than PG13 things to Tommy.

Does Tommy actually stand a chance?

Chim doesn’t want to get Tommy’s hopes up straight away. He needs to make sure that his hunch is correct. He needs to gather more data.

So Chim starts inviting Buck and Tommy everywhere he can think of, and then pretends to take a really long time in the bathroom so that Buck and Tommy can have some alone time while Chim is hiding behind a bush or a potted plant depending on the location, spying on them.

Tommy, because he’s a very observant person, notices Chim in the bush with binoculars pointed at where Tommy and Buck are seated, and confronts Chimney after Buck has gone home.

And Chim can’t keep a secret for shit, so of course he tells Tommy about his doubtS even though he really doesn't want to disappoint Tommy if it turns out that his hunch is wrong.

“I’ll keep investigating,” Chimney says, once again patting Tommy on the back, watching hope bloom on Tommy’s face.

Chim continues inviting Tommy and Buck to hang out, sometimes inviting others as well to avoid suspicion (Buck isn’t suspicious at all, but Hen has start narrowing her eyes at Chimney).

Tommy calls it torture, Chim call it science. Oblivious Buck is just concerned about the amount of time Chim spends in the bathroom. He asks Chimney if Chim’s having any any bowel problems. Chimney insists he doesn’t, but Buck figures Chim’s either putting on a brave face or is too embarrassed. Buck doesn’t bring it up again, but he does leaves some pamplets regarding bowel problems and their causes in Chim’s locker as well as sends Chim links to various medical websites.

Chim is mortified. Tommy finds it hilarious. Chim decides to attempt a different approach.

To try and throw Hen off the sent and to further advance his research, he gets Karen to drag them all to a gay bar to see how Buck reacts around other queer men (Karen is very amiable once Chim tells her of his suspicions; she always enjoys gossip).

Chim and Karen sit opposite Tommy and Buck, the better to observe them. Eddie, poor confused Eddie had to be discretely elbowed aside when he tried to sit next to Buck, and has been dragged next to Karen, supposedly so that Karen can arrange a play-date between Christoper, Denny and Mara. Though Karen is paying much more attention to Buck’s every micro-expressions than any word coming out of Eddie’s mouth.

Unfortunately, the gay club is a bust because Buck’s too busy learning about monster trucks from Tommy to pay attention to any other attractive man at in the bar. It’s hard to tell if Buck’s attention is due to an attraction to Tommy or if he’s just really interested in soaking up new information in that spongy brain of his.

Chim starts leaving queer memoirs scattered around the fire station (Karen gives excellent book recommendations).

Chim starts commenting on attractive men they see on the tele when it’s a particularly slow day at the station. He does this to such an extent that some of the members of B shift are wondering if Chim’s the one with a case of latent bisexuality. That thought is strengthened in their minds when Chimney starts bringing some those magazines with the romance quizzes in them: ‘Best guy for you’; ‘Your ideal guy’; ‘What your celebrity crushes say about your love life’; ‘Take this quiz to reveal your partner’s star sign’; etc.

Then Chim very loudly goes on about how gay and single Tommy is whenever Buck is in earshot (and now some of B shift think Chim’s planning on leaving Maddie for Tommy).

The first time Chim brings up how gay and single Tommy is, Tommy takes him aside to ask him what the hell that was about.

Chim says in response, “Listen, if Buck isn’t 100% straight, he needs to be aware that you’re on the market so that he doesn’t go check out all the other male fish in the sea.”

Buck doesn’t make a big deal out of Tommy being gay, acts his usual self. Though he does manage to slip into conversation that he’s an ally. And when Buck does that, Tommy feel his hope to one day hold Buck’s hand during a romantic sunset walk along the beach shrivels up a little inside him. Chim gives Tommy yet another commiserating pat on the back, and takes Tommy to a bar later that night so that Tommy can drink his problems away.

Meanwhile, Buck knows that Tommy being gay isn’t a big deal, but for some reason Buck can’t stop thinking about it.

It’s not like he’s ever had a problem with anyone’s sexuality before, so what is it about Tommy?

And representation really does matter. Here Buck is, being confronted with a Man, a big, muscular man like himself, who enjoys going to the gym like himself, who’s in a similar profession to him. And this man is gay.

And that’s going to cause something in his mind to shift. Maybe he doesn’t notice that shift at first, maybe it’s only subconsciously.

Maybe he’s going to start picking up a few of those memoirs that Chim’s been leaving around; Buck’s always been fond of non-fiction after all.

Maybe he’s going to ask Hen and Karen about their experiences figuring out their sexuality, their coming out stories (during this conversation, Karen will be staring intently at Buck, looking for any signs of the queer thoughts Buck may or may not be having).

(Chim is very happy with this because pointedly asking Hen and Karen about their queer experience was next on his game plan.)

Buck doesn’t ask Tommy about his sexuality though, not yet at least. Buck can’t seem to bring himself to ask Tommy. Though he doesn’t know why.

Then Buck does as Buck does best and goes on a research binge about all the different sexualities, but more specifically bisexuality (I imagine there is at least one sexuality quiz during that research binge).

And, at the end of that research binge, the results are conclusive. Buck is bisexual. Maybe he says that out loud in his empty apartment “I am bisexual” and it feels right and it feels so very exciting.

Once he realises that he’s bisexual, a lot of things start making sense. Including Tommy’s ass. Tommy’s very fine ass that Buck can’t help but stare at. And Tommy’s eyes. And Tommy’s hands as well. And Tommy’s laugh; And definitely Tommy’s smile. Basically all of Tommy.

Buck keeps his newly discovered sexuality to himself for a bit, wanting some time to himself to live in this new reality of his, basking in this new part of himself.

Also so that he can spend a few days staring at attractive guys without any knowing looks from his loved ones.

Turns out he spends most of those few days staring at Tommy which, again, makes sense.

Because he is such an open book, it doesn’t take Buck long to come out.

He decides to tell everyone at the next get-together. They’re all outside, having another barbecue at Bobby’s and Athena’s. Tommy is also present for this.

Everyone is of course supportive and happy for Buck. Chim is forcing himself to stay still, even though he really wants to jump up and down, high-five Karen, high-five Tommy, and then shove Tommy in Buck’s lap.

Meanwhile, Tommy is in his chair, having a deer-in-the headlights moment, staring up at Buck, wide-eyed, slightly pale, a forkful of potato salad halfway to his mouth. Tommy is so frozen that Chim has to nudge him so that his fork continues its journey to his mouth.

Tommy chews on the potatoes mechanically, no longer paying attention to the delicious taste that he’d been previously enjoying, too busy trying to act normal and trying to rein in his growing hope. By Chim’s side-eyes, Tommy isn’t doing a great job.

As the night goes on, Tommy forces himself to not approach Buck no matter how much he wants to, mostly because has forgotten how to act like a normal human being.

But then Buck is right there, in front of him.

“Hey,” Buck says.

“Hi,” Tommy replies. So far so good.

Buck is looking at him, and Tommy is trying to remember what he’s meant to do with his hands.

“Congratulations,” Tommy forces out because congratulations are definitely in order, “How are you feeling?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“Good,” Buck says in that sincere way that comes so naturally to him.

“Yeah?

“Yeah, great. I feel, I don’t know, lighter I guess. I mean, I’m still me, but now I know why I spend so much time staring at men’s asses.”

Tommy snorts, “Yeah, I know the feeling.”

There’s a pause. Buck’s staring at Tommy, and Tommy’s staring at Buck, and neither want to look away.

“Hey,” Buck finally says, “tell me if I’m completely off base, but there’s this little Italian restaurant I’ve been meaning to try, and I was wondering if you’d want to come with me.” Buck stops, swallows. Tommy watches his adam’s apple move. Buck continues “Like, as a date.”

Tommy forces his eyes back up away from Buck’s neck.

“A date?” Tommy repeats, the hope inside him soaring.

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Tommy says, smiling, not sure if he can believe what he’s hearing.

“Okay,” Buck says, smiling back. It’s a smile so soft that Tommy wants to trace it with his fingers, but they’re definitely not there yet and Tommy’s trying to act normal.

“Okay,” Buck repeats a little breathlessly, that soft smile still in place.

(During this whole interaction, Chimney is hiding in a bush, binoculars in hand. Karen is at his side, asking him what they’re saying.

“I can’t read lips!” Chim says, though he tries anyway with mixed results.

But then, Hen comes along and puts a stop to it, dragging Chim and Karen out of the bush and confiscating Chim’s binoculars.)

[loucifersbitch]

8x04 episode coda

“Hey,” Tommy said when Buck walked through the door, pulling him in and placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Hey.” Buck smiled, resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder briefly. “What’s all this? It smells amazing,” he said, walking over to the stove to peek into one of the kettles.

Tommy slapped his hand away before he could lift the cover, Buck squawking in mock offense.

“It’s nothing big,” he said, picking up a wooden spoon to stir something in a sauce pot. “I thought you should have a nice homemade meal to come home to after the week you’ve had,” he added with a shrug. He was trying to seem nonchalant, but Buck wasn’t buying it, eyebrows shooting up.

“Uh huh. And what’s the actual reason for all this?”

Tommy huffed a laugh, not looking at Buck as he continued to give all of his concentration to the stovetop.

“Do I need a reason to cook a nice meal for you?”

“No, but - I don’t know, Tommy,” he started, moving over to lean against the counter next to his boyfriend. “This seems like - like too much.”

Tommy finally looked at him, setting down the spoon and placing his hands on Buck’s waist.

“Evan,” he said, his tone almost a reprimand, “there is no such thing as too much when it comes to you. I like doing things for you. I know you’ve had a hard time dealing with Gerrard at work and worrying about Hen and Karen and their daughter, but that’s all over now. Bobby’s back, and Mara is home, and I get to see you be happier again. So I wanted to celebrate a little. Okay?”

Buck ducked his head then looked shyly up at Tommy. He felt cared for in a way he hadn’t since his childhood.

“Okay,” he said. “Thank you, Tommy.” He placed a kiss next to Tommy’s mouth, right on one of the dimples he loved so much.

“You’re welcome. Now, can I get back to my sauce before it burns?” he asked, that smile tugging at his lips.

“Y-yeah, of course.” 

Tommy began stirring again, and Buck couldn’t help but watch the way Tommy’s muscles shifted beneath his henley. Muscles he would get to enjoy later, he knew.

“Would you drain the pasta for me?” Tommy asked, breaking into a smirk when he noticed Buck staring.

“Sure, I think I can manage that.”

Resting a palm on Tommy’s hip, he reached around to the other side to grab the colander, making Tommy chuckle. He drained the pot of pasta - “Did you make fresh spaghetti?” - he let Tommy take over, tossing the pasta in the sauce. Buck moved on to opening a bottle of wine and pouring two glasses before sitting at the table as Tommy walked over.

“Bon appetit,” he said, setting a heaping bowl in front of Buck. “Spaghetti all’Arrabbiata.”

“Wait,” Buck said, suddenly struck. “Is this your Nonna’s recipe? The one you made the first night we - ?”

“It is,” Tommy said, shrugging.

“Tommy, are you sure there’s nothing going on?”

“Why are you suspecting something?” Tommy asked, taking a sip of his wine.

“This all feels - I don’t know. Something feels different.”

Tommy sighed, dropping his head. When he looked up again, his eyes were glinting with something Buck couldn’t decipher at first glance.

“I was trying to be so subtle, but you never miss anything, do you?” Tommy asked, holding out a hand for Buck to take. It felt like Tommy wasn’t done speaking, so Buck waited him out for a few moments. “After dinner, I was going to sit you down and talk with you for a while. Catch up after not seeing each other for a few days. But you’re too smart, too perceptive.”

“Tommy -”

“Move in with me.” It wasn’t a question, but it was a request all the same.

Buck was speechless for a moment, processing the idea that Tommy wanted to live together.

“I - Tommy, it’s been six months. Are you sure you want me around all the time? Always in your space? All my things taking up residence here?”

“Yes, Evan. I want you around all the time. Every day. I want to go to sleep next to you every night and wake up to your snoring every morning.”

“I don’t sno-”

“And I want all of your things here,” Tommy pressed on. “I want your clothes in the closet and your dishes in the kitchen and your fancy bath towels in the linen closet.”

“Tommy, this is big.” 

“I know. But I know this is what I want. Every day I come home, and it feels like something’s missing. And I realized that that something is you. I want you, Evan. You’re home to me now.”

Buck couldn’t stop himself from surging forward, pulling Tommy into a searing kiss.

“You’re absolutely sure about this?” he asked. At Tommy’s insistent nod, he said, “Okay. Yeah, let’s do it.”

“Great.”

Neither of them could seem to stop smiling.

[bucksboobs]

I don’t want to be like “it’s homophobia” but genuinely people do not seem to see Gay Men as People who have unique experiences and personalities shaped by their gayness AND their masculinity.

Tommy is closed off and defensive in that scene because Gerrard basically called him a fairy to his face and now he’s being ambushed with a serious conversation. This is a natural way to react when you’re a gay man because (and I shouldn’t have to explain this) when you’re a gay man and a homophobe is near you, you get uncomfortable and have to retreat into a shell that will keep you safe. This is the reason so many gay men are “sassy” because having an acerbic tongue is often the only defense mechanism for a visibly feminine man. For more masculine men like Tommy, that defensive shell is going to look a lot like retreating hard into masculinity. So a gay man clamming up and getting snippy when faced with homophobia is pretty damn understandable.

Source: I’m a gay man and my main defense mechanisms are silencing myself or using dry humor to deflect.

[achilles-rage]

"slut hours!!" i whisper to myself at 1am as i write smut for fictional characters alone in my room, severely touch starved

[xunandran]

Tease (more than a) Tidbit Tuesday - PolyFire Edition

Extra bit since I don't think I posted anything last week. Here's the first part of some PolyFire smut I'm working on. some of the prompts for the piece include:

Buck and Tommy want to fold Eddie into their dynamic.

Tommy shows Eddie all the different things that he's found that drives Buck crazy.

-- Your body, my only lesson (3054 Words - Unfinished) --

Every two weeks, the television at the Diaz household is taken over by, as Buck puts it ‘half naked men pummeling each other.’ Back in the beginning, it was Eddie and Tommy. Marisol usually took Christopher out for ice cream or pizza or to the movies. After Buck and Tommy started dating, the dynamic gradually shifted. It was still Eddie and Tommy watching the fights, but Marisol became less and less of a fixture, instead replaced by Buck and Christopher in the teen’s room, often playing some video game or another. 

Tonight’s fight isn’t one for the record books. It’s slow and uninteresting, affording Eddie and Tommy more time to talk than usual. They’re already on their third beer in rather quick succession, Buck already agreeing to get him and Tommy back to their places at the end of the night. 

One of the things Eddie’s noticed about Tommy in their months of hanging out is how honest he gets when he’s had a few too many. When Tommy and Buck had first started officially dating, outside the tragic pizza parlor incident, it was on this very couch that an inebriated Tommy had spilled the beans as to how quick a study Buck was in the bedroom. 

Eddie wants to claim that he is scandalized by this knowledge. If anyone asked, Tommy included, he’d surely hem and haw and make some show of being thoroughly disinterested in the fact. But in truth, since he’s admitting it to himself and nobody else, knowing Buck’s sexual prowess secondhand is somehow more enticing than hearing it from Buck himself. He tucks Tommy’s stories into a small box in the back of his mind to revisit behind his bedroom’s closed doors. 

Over time, he’s come to expect and enjoy these little confessions from Tommy. He pretends that he’s not hanging on the older man’s every word or storing the way Tommy demonstrates some new trick Buck’s learned on the bottle of beer in his hands. He always makes sure the fridge is stocked, making a special trip every two weeks to make sure Tommy has his favorites. 

Periodically throughout the evening, Buck passes through, padding to the kitchen for more pizza, more popcorn, more juice for himself and Christopher. At first, he’d comment toward them as he walked back, but as time and familiarity with their relationship bloomed, words turned to looks, looks turned to touches, and touches turned to gentle kisses as he carried whatever snackfood he had in his hands toward the back of the house. If he’s ever heard Tommy’s confessions, he’s never said or acted bothered. 

Tonight’s confession comes four beers in, and it’s a doozy. They’re between matches when Tommy slides closer to Eddie and whispers “You know I was interested in you too, right?”

Eddie swallows dryly, both from the words and from the way Tommy’s hot breath ghosts against his skin. “What?” His single word is higher pitched than he’d like. He doesn’t want to turn to the right. That’s not true. He wants to turn to the right because Tommy’s not moved back to his neutral and safe spot at the other end of the couch. He’s still leaned in, strong hand clapping on Eddie’s shoulder like he’s said the most casual thing a friend can say to another. 

“When?” Eddie risks a glance to the right. Steel blue globes are still trained on him, scouring over his eyes, his cheeks…

His lips. He needs to swallow again. He settles for another drink of his beer to coat his suddenly dry throat. 

“You know…” Tommy’s voice is smooth and sure. His thumb massages along the strip of muscle north of Eddie’s collar bone, occasionally daring to trace the rough digit against the skin under his collar. “Vegas… Muay Thai… The Chevelle.” The light strokes are mesmerizing, and they’ve barely noticed that the next fight has started. 

Eddie dryly swallows a second time, brooding eyes tracing over wide, sharply angled lips. He could kiss him, kiss Tommy. They’re so close. He reads the permission in the other man’s stance and eyes. It’s been weeks since he separated with Marisol. That’s enough time right? It’s not like it’s a relationship. It’s not like he’s moving too fast again, right? His breath is sharp, in through the nose, out through the nose. “What about Buck?”

Tommy’s lips lift into an effortless smile. “I’ve told Evan, god, what, about a month after we started dating. He… understood the interest.”

Eddie laughs, using the levity to break the hold that Tommy’s lips have on him. “I honestly had no idea. When Buck told me that you two were on a date that night, I was clueless.” And he was. Thinking back on it, it didn’t really surprise him that Buck could be into guys, but Tommy? And apparently into him? It was flattering. He clinks their bottles together. “Another?” Tommy nods and Eddie gathers their empties and stands to go to the kitchen. Logic would dictate that it’d be easier to circle around the back of the couch to get to the kitchen. Instead, Eddie lifts his leg and straddles Tommy for the briefest of moments as he steps over the other man to get into the open area of the living room. Tommy’s blue eyes track the line of Eddie’s waist through the entire movement. 

Eddie makes a detour to check on Buck and Christopher. They’re singularly focused on their video game. Eddie hovers in the doorway and watches the way the pink tip of Buck’s tongue slides along the side of his mouth as he concentrates. A brief lull, a loading screen, and Buck looks up from his spot on the floor, teeth flashing in the brightest smile Eddie’s seen. Should he tell Buck about what Tommy’s said? What if Tommy hadn’t actually told Buck anything. He didn’t want to be the reason that anything happened between them. 

“You okay?” Buck’s voice is concerned, quiet.

Eddie shakes off the thoughts of kissing Tommy, of even kissing Buck. “Yeah. Just checking in on my guys.”

“Aww…” Buck teasingly draws a small heart with his index fingers. “How are the fights tonight?”

“Boring. Tommy and I have been chatting mostly.”

“Oh?” 

Eddie doesn’t know if it’s the single syllable, the tone that Buck uses on it, or the unreadable glint in his bright blue eyes, but something about their interactions seems heavier and more stout than a second before. He walks to the kitchen and discards their empties before grabbing two more from the fridge. He cracks the bottles and tosses the caps, trying to decide on his next course of action. He can’t exactly hide in the kitchen. Tommy’s expecting him. He pads back to the living room, this time opting to walk behind the couch. He hands Tommy his beer as he sits down. The brief brush of the other man’s fingers against his is electric. They clink the bottles together and start on number five. 

“I’ve dreamt about you, you know,” Eddie admits. He doesn’t know why it’s his turn to confess, but the words slip from his lips before he’s properly thought of them. 

Tommy chokes on the potato chip that he has just stuck in his mouth. “Uh, what?”

“You heard me.” Eddie fixes his gaze forward, focusing on the fight on the screen. He pulls a deep swig from the bottle of beer between his hands before setting it on the coaster in front of him. 

Tommy coughs, throat still a bit raw from the sudden sharp fried projectile. “What kind of dreams?” His voice is slightly raspy from the incident. It sounds great on him. Eddie fixes him with a look that needs no explanation or elaboration. “Oh,” Tommy smirks, nodding and taking a large pull of his own beer.

“It’s not just you,” Eddie supplies to fill the space between them. “There’s plenty of people.” Buck chief among them, but he doesn’t say that one. 

Tommy breaks into a jovial laugh. “Someone’s mind is working overtime.”

Eddie sips on his beer. “I don’t know why. I’m in my thirties. I’m not some randy teenager. Hell, I wasn’t even this bad when I was a randy teenager.” Now that it’s out in the air, he likes that he can admit these things to Tommy, risking little more than some gentle teasing but overwhelming support. It should be Buck though. The thought plays in his forefront of his mind, the steady mantra continuously pounding through him like a second heartbeat.

They sit in silence, eyes fixed on the fight. Eddie doesn’t know if it’s awkward or not. He steals glances to his right, furtive sightlines sliding over Tommy before flitting back forward. His fingers drum against his leg nervously as he tries to only pay attention to the screen in front of him. 

Tommy’s noticed the shift, and he’s turned and about to comment when Eddie looks at him. “Did you mean it… that Buck knows?” The words are fast, breathless.

Tommy nods slowly. “I can text him right now if you don’t believe me. Yes, I know he’s in the back with Christopher, and we could just go ask him, but I’d imagine that’d be awkward.”

Eddie palms his hand over his face and groans. When his fingers slip from in front of his eyes, he glances right. Tommy’s bemused expression is endearing. 

Tommy sets his bottle on the coffee table and slides closer to the center of the couch. Not too close, like he’s trying to give Eddie enough time to make some sort of decision. “We’ve talked about it,” He says, almost matter-of-factly. 

“It?” Eddie swallows. He knows what Tommy’s talking about. He’d be lying if he said that recently he hadn’t thought about it, even outside the admitted dreams. But Buck’s his best friend. He knows that argument’s weak. Shannon was his best friend too, before everything. 

“You.” Tommy says as he slides his phone out of his pocket. “Us.” He opens a conversation between Evan and himself and hands the phone over to Eddie. 

Evan:

>> Hey! I have a question, and I hope you

>> don't take offense.

Tommy:

I doubt I can take offense to a simple <<

question. What’s on your mind? <<

Evan:

>> Have you had a threesome?

Tommy:

A couple. Why? <<

Evan:

>> Did you like them?

Tommy:

They were alright. Where’s this coming <<

from, Evan? <<

Evan: >> Would you have another?

>> I’ve never had one.

Tommy:

Really? <<

With all the stories about Buck 1.0 <<

I would have assumed a threesome <<

or two would have been par for the <<

course <<

Evan:

>> You never answered the question.

Tommy:

Do you want to have a threesome? <<

Evan:

>> I kinda do. Not that I’m not extremely

>> happy with things how they are. I’m 

>> just curious. 

Tommy:

Do you have anybody in mind? <<

Evan: 

>> You’ll laugh.

>> Or maybe not. 

>> Maybe I shouldn’t say.

>> It’s probably weird. 

Tommy:

Is it Eddie? <<

Evan:

>> It’s weird, right?

>> He’s my best friend.

>> And all I can think about

>> is what he’s like in bed. 

Tommy:

That’s not weird, Evan <<

It’s natural. I told you I <<

thought Eddie was hot, <<

right? I mean, after we <<

started dating. <<

Evan:

>> I wonder if that’s what’s put

>> it in my mind. 

Tommy:

I’m up for it. Would you like me to <<

test the waters and see if Eddie’s <<

interested? <<

Evan:

>> You’d do that?

Tommy:

Sure, Evan. Plenty of couples have <<

threesomes. I’d rather it be with me and <<

someone you trust. <<

Eddie licks his lips as he reads the message string twice. Buck wants to have a threesome? Buck wants to have a threesome with him and Tommy? He hands the phone back to Tommy and takes a shuddering breath. “Well…” he says airily, not quite knowing what to say. His brown eyes dart around Tommy’s still too close features. Did the man scoot closer while he was reading? 

“So what do you think?” Tommy’s voice is measured and clear, casual. How is he not as nervous as Eddie is right now? All he has to do is say yes and he can know the answers to the questions that have nagged at him for the last couple months. He can know for certain if the feelings he’s been harboring for Buck and Tommy are just his mind trying to understand a new dynamic, or if the ache in the back of his throat is one that can be salved with their touch. 

“You’ll show me… I mean… I’ve never…” Eddie trips over his words, his cheeks blazing with a fiery red blush. Tommy closes the distance and tenderly slides his lips against Eddie’s. Eddie breathes their connection with a shudder. For as rough as the man should be from his occupation and his build, his lips are soft and taste of a lingering belgium stout and barbecue from their wings. When Tommy pulls away, Eddie’s body tries to follow, his dazed form captured in Tommy’s magnetic pull. 

Tommy chuckles as Eddie’s mind catches up to the rest of him. “Somehow I’m not surprised that you both had the exact same look. You okay?”

If Eddie were capable of currently making sounds, he’d tell Tommy that yes, he was in fact okay. He tries to form his traitorous voice around numerous different words before simply nodding and smiling dopily. 

“Good.” Tommy strokes his fingers through Eddie’s hair and watches in real time as the redness in his cheeks and neck fade to a comfortable tan. “We’ll show you everything you need to know.” His fingers slide down Eddie’s cheek, and Eddie wants to kiss him again. He leans into the caress, lips pressing against Tommy’s palm. 

“Can you get a sitter for tomorrow evening?” Tommy asks nonchalantly as he strokes Eddie’s cheek. “Does tomorrow work for you? Not too fast?”

Eddie huffs and vigorously shakes his head. “Not too fast. I can find a sitter.”

“Okay then,” Tommy says, lips brushing lightly against Eddie’s again. “Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

===========

Buck has spent the following day texting Eddie throughout. It’s little things mostly, some memes, random bullshit. Eddie’s aware of what he’s doing. He’s trying to keep things as normal as possible. Eddie doesn’t know if the texts are helping, or rather serving to make him more nervous. He wonders if Buck’s just as hyped and/or nervous as Eddie’s been feeling all day. Thankfully, Tommy’s been a bit more muted in his communication. He checked in around lunch to confirm that Eddie was still up for the evening. 

He’s showered twice today, thoroughly cleaning himself in preparation for the evening. Though he’s never been with a man, he’s somewhat familiar with some of the logistics, by virtue of his time as a medic. Should he text and ask what role they are expecting of him? He opts to message Tommy, who says not to worry, he’ll be alright. By the time that Carla shows up to take care of Christopher, Eddie’s wound pretty tight, a solid 50% nerves, 50% excitement. 

They’ve agreed to meet at Tommy’s. Eddie swears he catches every red light on his way there. Tommy texts him along the way to just go ahead and come on in and lock up behind him. Tommy’s place is dark and quiet, save for the low murmur of Buck’s voice from the back. Eddie latches the locks before rubbing his sweaty palms against his jeans. With his hands in his pockets, he pads back to Tommy’s bedroom, not entirely sure what he’s going to walk into. 

Buck is sitting cross-legged in the center of Tommy’s king bed. At present, Tommy’s mostly sat on the edge, but he’s laid back so that his head is in Buck’s lap. The younger man absently slides his fingers through Tommy’s hair as he looks up at Eddie. “Hi.” The word is thick, Buck’s own voice a worried and somewhat raspy mess. Eddie watches as he presses his tongue nervously against the back of his slightly parted lips, the barest hint of pink briefly flicking into view. 

Tommy looks up at Buck before sitting up. “Hey.” Eddie pulls his hand from his pocket and sheepishly waves. He’s not sure what the protocol is, so he’s thankful when Tommy stands up and walks near him. The large man’s presence is strangely comforting as well as exciting. “Evan and I talked while we were waiting.” Tommy’s voice is low in Eddie’s ear and firing through his bloodstream as he circles him. 

“And?” Eddie’s own voice is dry, and he swallows in a vain attempt to moisten the desert behind his lips. 

“So Evan thinks, since you’re new to all this, that I teach you what he likes.” Tommy’s lips brush against the back of Eddie’s neck, and Eddie focuses on Buck.

Buck’s blue eyes are already dark and intense with desire. He pulls himself off the bed and closes with Eddie. Eddie groans as he’s sandwiched between the two lovers. Tommy’s hands drift lazily over Eddie, fingertips tracing their way down his arms. They slide over his hands, interlacing with his own fingers. Buck’s cologne, or maybe it’s just the way he smells sears its way into olfactory memory. He stares at the other man’s lips, so pink and plumped, begging to be kissed, to be nipped and greedily sucked on. Tommy’s strong hands nudge, pulling Eddie’s fingers across Buck’s midsection. The two friends hiss a low groan, eyes locked with each other. Buck’s gaze never wavers as Tommy guides Eddie’s hands under Buck’s shirt and across his hot skin. 

“He’s very sensitive,” Tommy whispers, lips still tracing along Eddie’s neckline. As if on cue, Buck’s stomach ripples underneath Eddie’s light touch. Tommy shifts, lips sliding against Eddie’s ear. His steel blue gaze locks onto his boyfriend. “Evan? Tell Eddie what you want.” Eddie shivers as Tommy’s breath ghosts against his earlobe. 

Eddie can see the trepidation in Buck’s features. It’s not something he can miss, having known the man for so long. Buck’s lips part and Eddie focuses on the image of his lips on Buck’s. Buck’s eyes slide from Eddie’s to Tommy’s. Eddie can’t help but wonder at the look that the other man is giving Buck right now. 

“Undress me, Eddie.” Buck’s voice is small, near afraid. 

[fuselsstuff]

Anybody else just wants to write Tommy fics now? Not Bucktommy, not Buck fanfiction, just Tommy Kinard.

[louiseolivier]

08x06 Delulu

Tevan are at the Italian restaurant. The Hot Waiter flirts with Buck. Buck's kinda oblivious. He unintentionally flirts back. Buck pays this time, and inside the folder with his card and receipt is Hot Waiter's phone number. Buck is a little weirded out because he feels like it's obvious he and Tommy are on a date.

For the most part, Tommy watches Buck and Hot Waiter's interaction in amusement. He jokes whether Buck is he's going to call him, and Buck is taken aback. Then Tommy gets serious.

"We haven't really talked about the kind of relationship you want."

Buck's confused. "What does that mean?"

"Just that there's more than one way to be in a relationship. I've been in a couple that were open."

"Open?"

"We were allowed to sleep with other people."

"I know what it means, Tommy. Is that what you want?"

"I want you to be happy. I want you to know I'm amenable to that if you're interested. Truth be told, Evan, the most important thing is that you're in my life, whether we’re together or not. 

Suddenly, the Ironside siren goes off in Buck’s head, and he’s spiraling.  

Tommy clasps his hand and looks at him like he’s the goddamn sun, moon, and stars. “Think about it. It’s not like it’s something you have to decide today.”

Cue Buck, going to Bobby. “I don’t know what to tell you, Buck, but I’ve seen you two together. I don’t think breaking up is something Tommy is even thinking about. The other stuff...you should talk to Tommy. Be upfront. Be honest. 

Cue Buck, going to Maddie. “Buck, he kissed you while you were still covered in boils. I saw that with my own eyes and wished I hadn’t. I don’t want to put words in his mouth, but he does seem very committed to you. And to be perfectly honest, the open relationship doesn’t sound like something he’d suggest out of thin air. Maybe you said something...”

“You’re blaming me? Come on, Maddie! You know damn well that’s not how I roll. I slept around, yeah, but not while I was in a relationship - and don’t you dare bring up Taylor! Besides, an agreed upon “open” means consensual. I just - how did I miss that this was something he was interested in? Why would he wait six months to bring it up?”

A sound of disgust emanates from the corner of the call center's breakroom, and the Buckley siblings' heads swivel to its location. Josh is sitting at a table, sipping his coffee and rolling his eyes. “You sweet naive baby bi.” He gets up from his chair, sidles up to Buck, and eyes the donuts he brought for Maddie. “I don’t suppose there's a Bavarian cream in there?”

“There’s a jelly,” Buck says. 

“But jellies are my favorite,” Maddie complains. 

“Too bad. I’m about to help your chaotic brother out, so I deserve it.” Josh bites into the donut and gives an appreciative moan. “Oh god, I haven’t had refined sugar in three days. How I missed you.”

“Back to me, please,” Buck says with a whine.

“Look, it’s pretty simple. There are only two types of guys who want to open up a relationship after the six-month mark. Assholes carrying multiple red flags or..”

“Tommy’s not an asshole,” Buck tells him firmly. 

“Considering he’d whittle a rocking chair if you asked him to, I’d agree. Buck, my guess is he’s scared. He's worried that if he doesn't give you a free pass, that you'll get bored with him and leave.”

“That’s so stupid,” Buck cries in dismay. 

Maddie lays a supportive hand on his bicep. 

“It is,” Josh agrees. “But just because your man is a solid L.A. nine doesn’t mean he’s not carrying around a lot of insecurities. Talk to him. Tell him. And hey, if it all blows up on you, send him my way. I’d love to be that man’s shoulder to cry on.”

Buck shows up at Tommy’s door. Tommy is supposed to come to his after finishing his laundry, but Buck doesn’t want to wait that long. “Hey,” Tommy greets him with that scrunchy smile Buck loves so much. 

“I don’t want to have sex with anyone else,” Buck tells him as he barges through the door. 

“Oh-kay,” Tommy says, closing the door behind Buck. 

“Do you want to have sex with other men?”

Tommy crosses his arms, and his head tilts towards the ground. “No. I’ve come to learn that’s not an ideal situation for me.”

Buck scoffs. “Then why suggest it?”

The buzzer on the washer goes off, and Tommy moves towards it to switch out the load. “I don’t know. I’m pretty used to you flirting with everyone.”

“You think I flirt?” 

“Evan, you told the waiter you liked his chinos while eyeing his ass. Most of the time, I think it’s cute how you rile people up without realizing it, but then I have a thought like, what if Hot Waiter would be a better match for you? So I panicked and threw out that suggestion.” 

“Jesus, Tommy. For the past six months, my brain has been consumed by nothing but you. Yet you think I can be swayed by some guy in a comfortable pair of pants? I only want you.”

“I know. I do. You prove that to me every day. I didn’t suggest it because I don’t trust you.” Tommy tosses one of Buck’s hoodies into the dryer and starts it. He can’t keep eye contact with Buck for more than a few seconds, and he looks paler than when Buck first arrived. Tommy’s also picking his middle fingernail with his thumb, and that’s Tommy’s tell that he’s feeling overwhelmed. “Uh, so like, I’m in this for the long haul. I think you’re it for me, Evan, and I don’t want you to ever feel like you’ve settled or...”

“I love you,” Buck tells him with a certainty he doesn’t think he felt even eight hours ago, but it’s the god’s honest truth. “Just seeing you makes me feel so full I could combust. ”

Tommy’s eyes are glossy and he blinks rapidly to keep the tears at bay. He finally locks eyes with Buck. “Loving you has been living in the back of my mind since...I honestly don’t know how long. I’ve been trying to temper my expectations because I haven’t been super successful in relationships. But then you started leaving clothes here, and suddenly you’ve infiltrated my life like no one else has been willing to. Next thing I know, I’m at a funeral for a long dead cowboy. I watched you embrace the memory of a forgotten man, and I realized I couldn’t love you more, Evan. Boils and all.”

Aaaaand that’s it. I’m tapped out.

[kinardsboy]

This has been sitting on my mind a lot lately but it seems extra relevant now with the way Tommy and by extension Lou has been criticized for acting “too gay” in ep 5. And while yes, I will agree Tommy acted slightly different in ep 5, it has absolutely everything to do with Lou’s incredible acting choices to play Tommy differently when he is around people he deems as “safe” which is much better explained in this amazing post here <-

All these complains are doing is just yet again exposing buddies as homophobes who are, at the end of the day. Uncomfortable with real queerness being shown infront of them. Of course we already knew this with how they react to Buck and Tommy kissing and god forbid flirting especially if it has sexual implications like the daddy kink scene.

They can’t possibly fathom their precious uwu baby Buck would be sexual with another man so they spin and twist it however they can to make it out to be, “NO! You see! Tommy started the flirting! Tommy is just an insatiable horny gay man! He only wants sex! Like most of them do!”

Which is again spewing homophobic rhetoric, who wouldve guessed thats what they immediately turn to?

I now have something probably controversial to say but oh well, im going to say it anyway.

A good many of these shippers would be deeply uncomfortable with Buddie actually becoming canon, because they would be nothing like their fanfic. They don’t want to see two men in a relationship, they want to see Eddie in a relationship with the character they project themselves onto.

There are so many examples of this but perhaps the biggest being the way Buck is made out to be the “woman” in the relationship and especially how he is made to be the “mom”

Buck and Tommy’s relationship 1st does not have any children involved so there are no gendered roles to be assigned (even though if there was.. theyd just both be a dad), they are both beefy and the same height, which is what people usually use to decide “top” and “bottom” but again since there is little physical difference between them, they cannot do this, which only adds to their uncomfortableness.

Furthermore, I would go as far to say that Buddie shippers dont actually like Buck.

A while back a shipper posted this analysis of Buddie, that essentially reduces Buck to a dog. A pet. Only to be let out of the bedroom to cook and take care of Chris, otherwise he’s meant only for Eddie’s pleasure.

Which, disgusting. But the thing that stood out most to me was how Tommy was criticized for

letting Buck be himself. For accepting and loving him flaws and all. For not trying to change anything, or “train” the bad out of him

While Eddie was the “trainer” in that scenario, that had to train the bad out of Buck in order for him to be acceptable.

And thats the funny thing isnt it? Buddie shippers have to completely warp and destroy Buck’s character to make him fit their mold of perfect partner for Eddie. They make him out to be this helpless person who can’t even tell Tommy he doesnt want to be called Evan, that needs rescuing from Tommy, that is a “mother figure” to Chris, that his “dream role” would be live in chef and maid for the diaz family..

When none of that is Buck.

Buck is a smart, independent and strong man. He has worked tirelessly on himself to know who he is and what he wants, which right now? Is with Tommy.

Bringing it back to my main point, their complaints of Tommy being more gay and Bucktommy intimacy ultimately just boil down to homophobia plain and simple, seeing real queer representation and not representation that they can specifically twist and cater to themselves through fic, headcanons or gifs, makes them uncomfortable

(could this be why so many of them ignore shows with canon m/m ships for favor of shows with fanon ones that will never actually happen? So they can make these demands for representation then shit on it as soon as they get it because its not fanfic? Its not their fetish specifically catered to them? It actually represents real life queer men who they don’t actually like?)

[honorarybuckley]

tommy knows evan is it for him about six months into their relationship. he tries to stay levelheaded about it but sometimes, after a hard day, he’ll imagine rings and strollers and a house with a white picket fence. everything he never had growing up.

they discuss it, more than once, and tommy is happy to know they’re on the same page but he still doesn’t quite believe it will ever happen. he’s happy to live in the moment and enjoy each day as it comes.

one morning, a few weeks after their first anniversary, they are laying in bed. evan is quieter than usual but it’s a comfortable silence. something is on his mind and tommy patiently waits for him to share. evan turns his head until his chin is resting on tommy’s sternum, a sleepy, sated smile on his face.

marry me? he whispers.

tommy’s smile is a near instant thing, his face scrunching in the way he knows evan loves. a year ago he’d be questioning things, checking in and making sure evan isn’t acting impulsively. but they’re so far past that now. tommy trusts evan implicitly, knows the difference between his hesitance and his assuredness and is positive that this is real and right and true.

his quiet yeah gets swallowed up by evan’s kiss and their room is a sudden cacophony of their giggles and the rustling of sheets. they both have shifts later and unfortunately eventually have to pull themselves from bed, but neither can stop touching the other or wipe the smile from their face.

it’s a week before their schedules line up again and they’re able to go shopping for rings. a week that’s so similar to the early days of their relationship, just the two of them caught up in their little love bubble before anyone else knows.

[diazsdimples]

Tommy can remember the day he knew he was going to kill Vincent Gerrard. Or, not kill exactly, but do some serious, irreparable damage to him. He'd kind of figured this day would come, if the way he felt like ripping the old man's mustache right off his face whenever Buck came home upset was anything to go by. He just didn't think it would happen quite so soon. He's held Buck plenty of times after rough shifts, where Gerrard would make him man behind for no other reason than "I want this place clean and perfectly organized. That's what you people do, isn't it?". He's heard enough stories from Eddie, and Hen, and Chim, about the abuse they were all getting but how most of Gerrard's hellfire seemed directed towards Buck.

But nothing could prepare him for the fury he felt when that day arrived.

He'd gotten a text from Eddie, a short and simple "he needs you", and he'd been in his car in a flash. The whole drive he'd been worrying, not sure what he'd be arriving to.

When he gets there, he knows it’s bad. Hen and Chimney are locked in a furious screaming match with Gerrard, their faces all varying shades of puce, and it looks like Hen's about to punch Gerrard in the nose, based off the hand Chimney has wrapped tightly around her wrist.

He spots Eddie and Buck immediately; they're in the locker room and Eddie has his arm around Buck's shoulders. When he looks up and locks eyes with Tommy, he can see the flames of rage licking behind Eddie's eyes. Buck's got his face in his hands, and his shoulders are shaking in a way that tells Tommy that he's crying. Tommy's across the station in 3 quick strides, dropping to his knees in front of Buck and taking his face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over his cheekbones.

"What the hell happened?" he asks Eddie, because Buck's not in any shape to breathe right now, let alone talk.

Eddie doesn't reply immediately, but his jaw ticks and he looks like he's carefully picking his words. Just as he's about to speak, Buck's voice, quiet and broken, cuts through the silence.

"He made me watch."

Tommy's brow furrows in confusion, and a ball of dread settles in the pit of his stomach. Buck swallows convulsively and even Eddie looks like he might throw up. It's bad.

"Watch what?" Tommy asks carefully. He doesn't want to push it, not if Buck isn't up to speaking, but he needs to know.

Eddie speaks up first, and his voice is shaky too.

"We were called to a massive haemorrhage at the Pride Event in West Hollywood. A man and his husband had been attacked by one of those bible bashers that stand there and tell everyone they're going to hell. A bystander said they'd been arguing with him and he pulled a knife. Got the first guy in the stomach, second just above his heart. There was nothing we could do."

Buck takes a deep breath, a whine issuing from the back of his throat. Tommy puts a hand around the back of his neck and rubs soothing circles just below his hairline.

"He made me watch," Buck repeats again, a little louder this time, and Tommy's heart clenches cause he knows, he fucking knows what Buck is going to say next. "He said "ride with Wilson, Buckley. This is a good opportunity for you to increase your medic skills." He knew they weren't going to survive but he made me...." Buck trails off, unable to finish his sentence, and Tommy's vision goes red. He's never hated anyone more than he hates Gerrard right now.

That is, until Buck finishes his sentence.

"He said "you might learn something valuable," but he wasn't talking about the job."

Buck's fists are clenched so tight his knuckles are white, and there's blood under his fingernails. Eddie's got a fistful of Buck's shirt clenched tightly in his fist and he looks like he's doing all he can to not run upstairs and tear Gerrard limb from limb.

There's a ringing in Tommy's ears and everything sounds kind of muffled, like his head is underwater. He's clutching the back of Buck's neck so hard that it's got to be painful, but he can't make himself let go.

When he left the military, Tommy made a vow that he would never take another man's life. But for this - for Gerrard - for what he did to Buck, the light of Tommy's life, he might just make an exception.