#Toes Matter
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Rook being a very physically touchy person and Lucanis avoiding touch at all costs from built up trauma from childhood, his work as a Crow, and the Ossuary. Them always asking for Lucanis' permission to touch him, and before Tearstone Island, they hug him and he still flinches but he holds them tight
As Rook is taken into the Regret prison and they see a vision of Lucanis' body on the ground, they scream his name out of concern and fear but all Lucanis hears is them screaming for him to help, and then they're gone. They're gone. He thinks they were screaming his name, begging him to save them and now they're gone.
Weeks into Rook being taken into the Regret prison and now a man who couldn't be touched without reflexively drawing a blade is craving the warmth of his partner who he thinks he'll never see again
Lucanis pulling Rook out of the prison, knowing it's them right away because of their hands. He missed their hands, he missed their touch, he missed their warmth, he missed them.
When Rook gets back, Lucanis' touch is slow and soft, almost unbelieving. Weeks of stress and torture and pain and guilt and regret, and now they're here. Once they're finally together, he feels as though the world is in their arms and if killing a god is the only way to stay there, he will do what a Crow does best and fulfill this contract
#dragon age#the veilguard spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#lucanis romance#rookanis#and he gets them screaming his name in a *different* way you know what I- (is shot)#just thinking about how my Rook cant go to sleep with touching her partner in some form#doesnt matter if its a toe a shoulder an elbow#as long as she has some sort of contact with her partner's body she can sleep well#not sure how i feel about that last line :/#I'll find something better later#probably#maybe
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seeing ghosts everywhere you go?
are they all in your head or are they here causing that chill in your bones?
#my art#Ace Attorney#Miles Edgeworth#Phoenix Wright#Gregory Edgeworth#Manfred von Karma#i think the concept of him seeing Actual Ghosts is delightful and should be expanded upon because YES. GET HAUNTED BITCH (affectionate)â#however; Metaphorical ones. Things he didnât expect to see after Gregory was gone#the boy you have raised being like his father in every way you did not expect and it blind siding you every time no matter how you prepare#and the man who finally takes you down from your pedestal of godhood having the same gumption and determination#as the only man who could go against you toe to toe in court and scarred you in more ways than one#Manfred von Karma sees ghosts; itâs just up to your interpretation whether or not theyâre real or crafted from his own guilt#rea rambles in the tags#small side note; it is *so* incredibly fun to draw him clutching his shoulder Iâm sorry if you notice it a lot from me. ok thats it thank u#reaâs trash
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I've been picking mostly only the essential flirt options with lucanis in the romance so far (I've personally found the dynamic much more natural and mutual when you do that, more like forming a solid friendship slowly and inevitably becoming something else and less like you keep pushing on him and getting little back b/c he seemingly just gets overwhelmed and goes into freeze instead), and I think rye is a pretty hard person to read at the best of times even though he's been Down Real Bad from pretty early on and their chemistry as people is naturally really good. so the way the almost-kiss plays out in this playthrough feels a lot like it has the added layer of lucanis realizing that no but for sure rook is flirting and not just being kind or a good friend* it IS actually happening it's not just wishful/fearful thinking!!! and then uh. maybe going a bit too hard a bit too fast in all the excitement at that revelation haha
*in lucanis' defense he has seemingly literally never had a friend who wasn't his cousin-brother before, under those circumstances I suppose some confusion is extremely natural if not outright expected lmao
#meanwhile rook is kicking himself for being unprofessional b/c he WAS getting something important from spite there#and also lucanis had like. just woken up was that cool of me. should I have told him. should I have slowed that down???#watcher's duty crashing into watcher's longing blues ensues#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I think I might have done something hilarious and a little wonderful to the lucanis romance#by making a rook who's even slower to romance than he is fhskjfhsa#even here I was straight up like 'oh this is a little early for this don't you think' on rye's behalf (it's not we have to be mid-game)#imagine how he'd fare in some of the other romances you'd just bowl him over. davrin might kill him#(and also they would kill each other for unrelated reasons during it but that's another matter (affectionate I love my lads))#lucanis has been squinting at rook in stolen moments ever since the café scene like '...did I imagine that vibe. surely not right.#i'm pretty sure. but am I. I do know he likes me. but DOES he like like me or is that just what I want it to be. this is very embarrassing#for everyone involved' (it is)#davrin has had both their numbers the entire time tho. and been extremely annoyed but professional about it#he knew from the moment these two chucklefucks showed up in his recruitment mission. and has been an adult about it. mostly#even when they've made it real hard ('so I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're not letting the abomination serial killer run around#just because you're transparently excruciatingly sweet on him. right. RIGHT??')#I have accidentally given lucanis a pattern of falling for people who keep covered neck to toe at all times#but like not to be a metaphor for their emotional intimacy issues or anything haha. imagine.#I'm making my own heart so tender by imagining lucanis struggling to get rye out of his (many-layered) robes during the romance scene#and both of them laughing right from the soul in relief and delight at each other b/c like 'how could I kill a god only to be bested#by nevarran fashion. also how in the maker's name do you get dressed so quickly in the mornings this is intense'#'same way one does anything else lots of practice and a can-do attitude'/'well I'll just have to put in the practice then'#and they just hug for a while. *head in my hands* yeah okay I can be normal. I can be normal about this.
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Well arenât you so popular (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Temmie#Gaster#Alphys#These were the original ideas I had in mind with the prompt of Temmie or Alphys btw lol#I just didn't have the time/practice/space to mess up and get everything done in time! Now though âȘ#Man! I can't believe it's been this long to draw Alphys! I really like her!!#I might've drawn her initially when I first got into Undertale but that's been A Couple years now lol âȘ If I did it's been a good long while#Definitely out of practice - and same for Temmie - I think I did draw her but it's been such a long time!!#I might've pulled just a little bit of inspiration from Nny for Temmie's clothes lol - I was thinking of Tem Shop's Tem with the stripes so~#It's called a motif it's fine lol#But yes! That first one of him holding Temmie with his knees and poking her toe beans was my initial thought of those two haha#She's not Really fighting him that much - if she really wanted to leave it's not like he's restricting her movement lol just some wiggles#Making faces#And then he just lets her bite him lol - isn't he such a patient and kind soul! He's so nice and placid and peaceful :)#Just enjoys everyone's company so much no matter what they do to him âȘ#Alphysssss <3 I had no ideas for how to differentiate her look other than the blank glasses look haha#Spooky! But other than that she's just her with different body language lol#I do like the image of her being all scary and intimidating meanwhile she's got a cute skirt on under her lab coat lol - it's cute âȘ#What did Gaster do to garner such negative attention? :0 Went around picking up her anime figures lol#And then for funsies some classic Handplates!Alphys yaaaay <3 <3 <3#Will I ever stop drawing his wings as actual feathery fluffy wings? But they're so cute!#Alphys clearly thinks so too lol - she would be all over a good twin/clone thing for Gaster haha#Gaster not so much lol#''Please Dr. Alphys have some dignity -.Ăł'' lol#And then since I'd been looking around the gallery and saw winged Alphys again I wanted to draw them together hehe <3#Stretches! Wing yoga! Flapping at each other to cool down or just be silly hehe âȘâ« It's all very cute
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ChatGPT's tic-tac-toe advice is confident and longwinded.
It is terrible at tic-tac-toe.
more examples
#chatgpt#neural networks#tic tac toe#automated bullshit generator#it forgets which moves have been made#and it prefers corners no matter what#but it will pompously explain how optimal its strategy is
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do u want to see my attempt at sculpting fluttershy my little pony equestria girls. yes you do
#.docx#i'm going to try. and finish her head to toe and everything#bc i realized if i keep just sculpting faces then destroying them i'll never be able to practice sculpting bodies and clothes as well....#so. no matter how imperfect her face is i will have to Deal with it
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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.
HOWEVER.
It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.
People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?
Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?
And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:
HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.
Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.
And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.
You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly imo likability is not. the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.
#thessaly#wanda the sandman#hob gadling#fandom racism#I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom#also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on#but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder#if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because#my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit#if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no#and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov#and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter#like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was#for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real#Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing#people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you#if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then#Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly#especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom#I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)
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An insight into my brain at the present moment:
My first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic, my first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic, my first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic, my first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic, my first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic, my first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic, my first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic, my first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic, my first Liulaotana fic won't be a breeding kink fic
#tw: nsft#I can do a fluff fic first#this can't be how I dip my toes into that ship#that can't be the first fic I write for them#no matter how much brain space it takes up#or how much inspiration I have for it#mortal kombat 11#liulaotana
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Izuku: This poor guy. I must have accidentally tricked him into thinking Iâm an interesting person.
Shouto: I think itâs interesting how youâre able to hold a conversation while smacking yourself upside the head.
Izuku: See, this is what I mean. Thatâs not interesting. Anyone who grew up with Kacchan could hold a conversation while getting hit.
(If it isnât clear, Izuku is hitting his headset irl to knock the water out.)
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#skylldraws#thank you tumblr for not fighting me tooth and nail over adding links like you usually do#Last page I posted was the day before Barbie came out and today Iâm finally going to see it!#I was waiting to let the crowds die down but I just checked and our theater is packed so I guess it didnât matter#Oh weeeell#Iâm decked out in head to toe pink and read to go!#tododeku#tddk#tddk fanart#todoizu#todoroki x midoriya#shouto x izuku#todoroki x deku#bnha#tdiz#izushou#bnha comic#tddk au#quirkless deku#tododeku fantasy au#bnha fantasy au
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@ LITERALLY EVERYONE IN MY ASKS AND DMS TODAY
YES FOLKS. I HAVE đS E E Nđ THE UPDATE VIDEO. YOU CAN STOP TELLING ME ABOUT IT.
I promise to give more thought out responses about my thoughts when I have the time and energy- But my sleep schedule is bitch and it is a MONDAY!
#Asks#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#black pearl cookie#legend of the duskgloom sea#A mermaid's tale#CRK#white pearl cookie#Sona#sona art#sick reveal on what's under my hood cool huh?#I think I dug too deep in the brain matter tho. I've lost feeling in my left pinky toe-
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trying to make bg3 work for me today got me like
#the bg3 adventures#i ain't touching that shit for a year i s2g#whatever they mixed into that patch 7 sauce it got everywhere#on my saves on my mods on my load orders#i downgraded to patch 6 that didn't do dick (my mods would just not appear in the game no matter what)#so i figured imma put my big girl pants on and tackle every challenge that patch 7 + mods has to offer#let me tell you how i spent 3 hours mud-wrestling the bg3 executable#only to go back home crying covered in shit head-to-toe#and yes i've reinstalled bg3mm and the SE and deleted and reloaded and restarted and updated the mods that had newer versions#it's just the built-in mod manager is an absolute nightmare to fucking work with#the back-and-forth between the mod manager the menu the saves the mod page while loading the saves#the random mods showing up that are not even in the mod folder/??? i'm-#and then some other mods showing up like... 20 times? dsdfdsf#yeah nah take me back to the peaceful pre-patch days#when i could just load in play around with pretty dresses then spend 2 hours taking pics or game footage#anyway where was i? ah yes period crying at my desk before any of this sdfdsfgfdg#maybe i should log off and just go write#yea
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Mayblade 2024 Day 4: Genderswap
you know a character has peak design when all you need to do is swap their pants with a skirt and call it a day.
#mayblade 2024#teru is just pretty no matter the gender#also please ignore the fact that ryutaro doesnt have any toes#please#mfb#metal fight beyblade#teru saotome#ryutaro fukami
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So I was looking at the tracks and-
Yeah. Those are definitely bear tracks. If I had to guess, it probably has something to do with the whole Elena/purgatory worker/potential war situation that was hinted at previously. So this yearâs definitely going to be fun!
#qsmp#qsmp predictions#not that it matters much but I think the tracks in the first pic are black bear?#because of the claw size/shape and the curvature of the front toes#someone who is better with this sort of thing will probably know more#but itâs definitely not rat tracks unfortunately so no Ratioer lore yet#I do sort of like the idea of all the Federation workers being Kermode bears#which are black bears whose coloration is naturally white#I just think itâs neat
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just saw a Reddit thread that was like âI wish kindle would let us change charactersâ namesâ and I know this sounds like a ridiculous thing to be insanely annoyed by but canât we just read shit that isnât perfectly catered to our tastes and desires Jesus CHRIST
#romance novel blogging#books#like the refusal to step a toe outside your comfort zone and justâŠ. tolerate things that bug#things that honestly shouldnât matter if the book is good!!!!
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Physically chanting, âitâs fine, itâs fine, it doesnât matter,â to stop the overwhelming urge to respond to each individual person who reblogged the witch comic with a tag or comment that I based it on Into the Woods and correct them that actually it is not based on Into the Woods, Into the Woods just stayed true to the source material for Rapunzel and the mom wanting rampion was me paying homage to the original story and not the Stephen Sondheim musical which was fine but Iâve only seen once when it came out, many many years ago.
#ramblies#it really doesnât matter but Iâm so passionate (read: neurodivergent) about fairy tales that I want people to know that itâs in the OG#like how into the woods stayed true to source was genuinely great like Cinderellaâs sisters chopping off her toes and Cinderella running#I loved that that was included#but it was from the source fairy tales and soundheim doesnât get credit for all that jazz
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Kunidazai reunion sparking them finally, actually, truly getting together (cause they're idiots who have essentially been and old married couple for years and were the last to notice)? I think yes.
kunikida offering his apartment to Dazai, as his partners was in no shape to be lived in, after all the time that had passed with no upkeep and the time it spent in police custody, being milled through for any potential evidence. there was no way he could let him go back to it, not now, not tonight. Kunikida needs him close tonight.
Dazai takes him up on his offer. he doesn't want to be alone. he won't admit it, but he can't be alone, he doesn't know what it would do to him, what he would do to himself if he was left unattended. so he gratefully, while making jabs and cracking jokes at his partner, follows him home.
their night proceeds as normal, as it had for years of Dazai crashing with him. Kunikida cooks while Dazai sits up on his counter, rambling on and on about anything he can think of. Kunikida never realized how much he missed Dazai's voice until the relief of not cooking in silence hit him.
when they eat Dazai drags his partner to sit on the couch, even though Kunikida hates eating on the couch, knowing he would make an exception for him, just for tonight. they sit too close to just be friends, coworkers, partners even. their arms touch, their knees lean into one another.
when Dazai's finished with his dinner he lays a head in Kunikida's lap, turning on the TV, flipping through all of his partners recorded media until he finds the show they had been watch together, every episode that aired since he was arrested is recorded and unwatched. with blurry eyes he hits play. Kunikida's hand is in his hair and it doesn't leave.
they don't talk, they don't have to, they've talked enough. for now they just want to sit and feel each other's touch and hear each other's breathing. it's all they need.
its nearly 3 in the morning when Dazai finally starts to doze, he'd curled up into a ball, halfway in Kunikida's lap at that point, holding onto one of his partner's hands. Kunikida knows he should get them both to bed, he should offer Dazai the room and take the couch, that he should have the man some space after all he'd been through. but he aches at the thought of leaving his side, at being separated again.
but he doesn't even have to say anything, should have known he never had to, Dazai's always been sharp as a tack, his intuition, almost terrifyingly, even sharper.
His partner turned lazily in his arms, looking up at him with tired but knowing eyes. let's go to bed, they say. you don't have to go, you can stay, they assure. please don't go, they beg.
Kunikida breathes a long, heavy, sigh of relief.
"ok," he answers, before finally getting up after hours laid up on the couch, watching as Dazai continues to doze.
his heart aches with feverish heat. he'd missed him so much he had begun to go mad, had gone mad really, and now his partner was back, he was back and alive and mostly well, and now he was so relieved it ached in its own right.
he went about making up his bed for two, for Dazai, knowing he needed enough pillows and blankets for half a dozen people, but kept stopping to look over the back of the couch to make sure he was still there, still with him, that he hadn't been taken away again. by the time he's done he's probably crossed his apartment two to three dozen times, from his room to the couch again and again, before he's finally decided the room was good enough, there were enough blankets for Dazai to cover himself with and pillows to hide in.
when he goes to Dazai this time around, he kneels in front of him, carding a hand through his hair, tracing a thumb over his brow, to his nose, and then his cheek. his partner's eyes flutter open, a smile graces his lips.
"come on," he whispers, worried too loud a voice would shatter the delicate air of safety and comfort around them, "time for bed."
Dazai hums, getting up with a stretch and a yawn, much like a cat, before gingerly hopping off the couch and into Kunikida's arms, a false smile and air of cheekiness to him, hiding the ache Kunikida knew all too well resided in his partner's heart as much as it did his own, if not more. he holds him for a moment, savoring the feeling of him in his arms, before taking his hand and leading him to their room.
Dazai knows the drill. he goes to the other man's dresser and picks out a pair of his own sweatpants, ones he kept here for nights like these, and as per usual, one of Kunikida's shirts, gliding across the room, out into the hall, and into the bathroom.
Kunikida crawls into bed, feeling like he's been hit by a bus by the days events, and ends up half asleep by the time he feels Dazai crawling into bed next to him.
he expects to see bandages peeking from the borrowed nightshirt, to watch Dazai shield himself from the world, from his partner's touch, with a swarm of blankets, for Dazai to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for him to fall asleep first.
but tonight's different, so different.
Dazai's skin is bare where the shirt doesn't cover, his scars on display, each and every one of them, the burns, the cuts, the bullet wounds, the ones Kunikida has never one been able to decipher the story of. they're all bared to him, with no visible hesitation on Dazai's end.
when his partner climbs into bed he neglects the pile of blankets laid out for him, the pillows too. instead he lifts the comforter that's draped over the entirety of the bed, Kunikida included, sliding beneath it like it's natural to him, like he'd done it every night for months, years even.
he looks at Kunikida for a moment, silently asking for permission, which Kunikida cannot give fast enough, and then Dazai's in his arms, his own wrapped around his neck, nothing between them but the clothes on their backs.
Dazai pulls away, just a bit, Kunikida almost cries out, almost pulls him back in, but knows better. he lets dazai go, but he never leaves. he's moved just far back enough so they could both look each other in the face.
"I missed you," he spoke softly, his hands shifting to hold the blonde's face.
"I missed you too,"
there's a moment of silence.
"I love you." the words are hesitant, skittish even, like he's unsure of how Kunikida would take it.
"I love you too," he replies without a second thought. he loves his partner, he loves him, more than he knows what to do with, so much it drives him mad and makes him ache.
Dazai nods. he's thinking, Kunikida can see it on his face, his mind is going a million miles a second. worry flashes on Dazai's face, and Kunikida panics, goes to pull away, goes to give Dazai space, even if his own skin burns at the thought of parting with Dazai's.
but Dazai doesn't let him, he clings to him, "Don't go, please don't go, please," he begs.
his voice is desperate, so Kunikida doesn't. he watches his partners face twist and turn, watches as fear spreads across his brow and tears gather in his eyes, and he doesn't know what to do because this has never happened.
but than Dazai leans in, slowly, tugging Kunikida closer so they can meet in the middle. Kunikida feels his partners lips on his. he kisses him back. he can't decide if that was a foolish decision or not. It's soft, softer than either of them knew they were capable of, it's gentle and earnest and good.
Dazai stops after a moment, lingers in Kunikida's space before looking him in the eye once more, he doesn't speak, they don't need to. Dazai looks at him, tears running down his face, but he's smiling, he's ok. his thumbs wipe away tears Kunikida hadn't realized he'd shed. they're ok.
"I love you," Dazai mutter's again, speaking again before the other man can answer "Kunikida?"
"yes, Dazai?"
"don't go."
"I won't."
"promise?"
"I promise." its a foolish thing to say, but Dazai needs to hear it, hell, he needs to hear it, "I'm not going anywhere, so long as you promise me the same."
he hesitates, his eyes avoid Kunikida's for a moment, before returning from their shared gaze, "I'll try, I promise, I'll really try this time"
Kunikida nods, slowly moving to kiss Dazai's forehead, the brunette leans into it.
"I know you will," he whispers into Dazai's skin, "and I'll always be here when it's too hard to manage on your own."
there's silence again, but it doesn't feel wrong or heavy, its soft and warm and it feels right.
"I love you," Kunikida finally returns.
there's more silence, Dazai just looks at him, just watches, fingers playing with Kunikida's hair and drifting over his face until something clicks into place in the other man's mind, something nobody but Dazai could ever understand.
he leans in once more to kiss his cheek before he settles against Kunikida's chest, letting out a pleased huff as he curls himself into a ball, "goodnight," he muttered, almost instantly going still with sleep.
"goodnight," Kunikida replied, knowing Dazai wasn't going to hear him, pressing his own goodnight kiss to the top of Dazai's head before burying his face in the other man's hair (Dazai doesn't smell like his shampoo anymore. it makes something in him cringe. he tries and fails to ignore it).
it takes Kunikida a while to fall asleep, he's too busy running the night over and over and over again in his mind. he holds Dazai close and lets his fingers trace over scars, feeling over his too-thin frame, feeling each bone beneath his skin. there's so many thoughts rushing through his mind, to many fears, worries, anxieties, what ifs. what if I hurt him? what if I break him? what if I ruin this?
his thoughts are only stopped when Dazai gently nudges his head into his jaw, hands pulling Kunikida's off of him, holding them gently in his own (he should have known sleep wouldn't come that easy to Dazai).
he takes a deep breath, steadying himself and his mind, his partner's hands squeeze his gently, good, they seem to say, and sleep finally starts to pull at him once more.
he lets it happen, let's his eyes close and his mind go blank, knowing Dazai is safe, he's safe in his arms, he won't be taken away again. he sleeps knowing Dazai loves him, that he kissed him, that tomorrow they'll wake up like this, and maybe, just fucking maybe they can finally have this one happy ending.
#I love when two emotionally constipated men find ways to be indirectly vulnerable and soft with one another. it matters so much to me.#they don't know how to talk about it or what they mean to one another or what they need from the other but they make it work#but after so long of dancing around each other only to be ripped apart for so long something just gives way and for once its in their favor#I hc that Dazai can be quite graceful in a ghostly and/or feline sort of way when he wants to be. he hops to his toes instead of standing-#glides instead of walking. stares into your soul with these big old eyes instead of just look. so thats just sprinkled in here.#on another note. these men are idiots. I said getting together but for christ sake they've been together for years they just never noticed.#I cringed at their stupidity multiple times while writing this.#dazai is scared of loving kunikida. he's scared his love will damn the man he loves. he's scared he'll leave too#but he can only run from his feelings so long#kunikida is scared to love dazai. he's scared he will find a way to break him. that he won't be careful enough. that he'll screw it all up.#they're so fucking messy and I love them your honor#I have so much to say about them#kunikida bsd#kunikida doppo#bsd kunikida#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#dazai bsd#kunikidazai#kunidazai#if you see typo's no you don't
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