#things that honestly shouldn’t matter if the book is good!!!!

[mermaidsirennikita]

just saw a Reddit thread that was like “I wish kindle would let us change characters’ names” and I know this sounds like a ridiculous thing to be insanely annoyed by but can’t we just read shit that isn’t perfectly catered to our tastes and desires Jesus CHRIST

[querenciasturniolo]

headcannons ⮕ m.s

a/n: 75% boyfriend headcannons, 25% plus sized reader headcannons, but i definitely did my best !! @rainsoakedphoenix , i hope you enjoy, love 🫶🏻💓

❥ matt in the talking stage is very quick to reply, and always has something to add to the conversation. he’s flirty, but subtle about it, not wanting you to think he’s moving too fast, or give you the wrong impression.

❥ this dude is an absolute open BOOK. any question you ask him, he answers openly and honestly.

❥ he hates small talk, absolutely despises it. would rather talk about incredibly deep, philosophical things instead of a simple “how are you ?”

❥ would ask you “what are we ?” instead of just asking you out, idk man, dude’s complicated.

❥ he would not give a fuck about you being plus sized, not a single one. he likes you bc you’re a good person, and nothing else matters to him in the slightest than that.

❥ “get out of here, you’re perfect just how you are.”

❥ hands on your hips and waist when you’re out in public. i wouldn’t say he’s a fan of pda, but he isn’t one to not have a hold of you somewhere.

❥ in a more private setting ? dude is cuddly and needy as HELL. constantly holding you, whether it’s just your hand, his arm around your shoulder, standing behind you with his hands on your hips, shoulders, waist, you name it.

❥ on days where you’re insecure, he’s quick to snap you out of it. he can tell whether you need reassurance or a distraction without you even having to explain.

❥ HUGE on reading body language and tone of voice, can tell immediately if something is wrong just by the way you’re breathing.

❥ pet names for days. “baby”, “babe”, “love”, “beautiful”, “bunny” (fight me, i dare you), dude will throw in “toots” in an awful boston accent, just to make you laugh and see you roll your eyes

❥ whiny, whiny, W H I N Y. constantly asking for cuddles, kisses, hugs, scratches, everything.

❥ huge words of affirmation guy, never gets tired of hearing that you love him or your thanks for him doing something for you. essentially, he’s a giant puppy dog.

❥ always has his hand on your thigh when he’s driving oh my GOD

❥ instead of physical gifts for anniversaries, he’d give you love letters (i’m sobbing)

❥ dude is not afraid to post you anywhere, absolutely ADORES showing you off, even if it’s just of you sleeping in his lap, or an underview of you watching the tv and playing with his hair

❥ “what ? i can’t show off what’s mine ?” (kill me)

❥ supportive of you in every single aspect, not once has he ever looked at you and made you feel like you couldn’t do what you wanted

❥ lowkey possessive, but not in a toxic way ! just wants you all to himself, and gets whiny when you have to go or you have other plans and can’t come over. it’s mostly a joke, and he’d never ever do it if it actually upset you, he just truly does want you around all of the time.

❥ HUGE on setting boundaries early in the relationship, wants to know your ‘hell yes’s and ‘hell no’s IMMEDIATELY

❥ says “i love you” first, no ifs, ands or buts.

❥ “i love you, ya know ?”

❥ is blushing the entire time he’s trying to get it out, but relaxes when he sees your grin

❥ refuses to “argue”, dude only has constructive conversations where the two of you find a solution

❥ “it’s us against the problem, babe. not us against each other. what’s going on ?”

❥ three quick pecks every time one of you asks for a kiss, sometimes more, but never less, and he will absolutely pout if you ever short him.

❥ “what was that ? give me a real kiss.”

❥ some nights when his energy is low, and his social battery is almost completely gone, he’ll just lay with you with his head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.

❥ he’s a little snippy on bad days, but he always catches himself.

❥ “i’m sorry, love. i shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

❥ B A N T E R, he’s a shit, for sure

❥ “oh yeah ? wanna say that to my face ?” (think lori and noah from tiktok)

❥ on days where your body image is bad, he stops what he’s doing and takes the time to just hold you, and reassure you that your body is beautiful.

❥ “look at me, hey. i love you, every single part of you.”

❥ star gazing dates, midnight drives to nowhere, movie nights in the living room, nights where the two of you just stare at the ceiling and enjoy each other’s company.

❥ “penny for your thoughts ?” “what are you thinkin’ about over there ?” “what’s on your mind, beautiful ?”

❥ never shies away from mentioning you on the podcast/in videos.

❥ “oh my god, my girlfriend loves that.” “holy shit, me and y/n were just talking about this !”

tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @jellybeanbby , @idontexistman , @emssturniolo

[darylmydix]

THE SCARS WE SHARE | daryl dixon [teaser]

summary: you were the only good thing daryl had in his life. bonded by similar trauma, you suffered abuse at the hands of your stepmother, just as daryl had suffered from his own father. when you finally decide to escape your abusive home life, you're forced to leave behind your best friend in the process. now with the world in an apocalyptic state, you're left wondering if daryl was even alive.

pairings: daryl dixon x f!reader.

warnings: smut, violence, blood and gore, unrequited love, best friends to lovers, mentions of s/a, mentions of abuse, mention of suicidal thoughts/attempts, mention of drug use, use of deadly weapons, fluff, angst, slow burn, strong language, kidnapping, coercion, seasons 5-11, 18+, minors dni.

word count: 1k.

The knock on your front door was gentle; almost as though the person on the other side of it was at odds on whether they should bother you or not. You sigh, figuring it was probably Aiden coming to apologize for the confrontation he had caused with Rick and his group earlier.

You sat the book you were reading down on your coffee table, getting up from the couch as you shuffled to the door. You freeze, not even needing to open it, the glass revealing that it wasn’t Aiden, but in fact Daryl. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, feeling your heart pound against your chest. You close your eyes, letting out a heavy exhale.

You continue towards your door, opening it. The cool, crisp night air tickled your exposed skin. “It’s late, what’re you doing here?” you question. “Came to talk.” he replies simply in his gruff voice. You pause for a moment, contemplating on whether or not you should let him in. You really weren’t in the right headspace to talk, but at the same time you didn’t want to just turn him away. “Come in.” You pull the door open wider for the brunette to step inside before shutting it close.

“So…” you cross your arms, staring up at him. “What did you come to talk about?” Daryl’s picking at his fingernails; a coping mechanism that you always remembered him doing when he struggled to find the right words. Even after all these years he still had a hard time expressing himself. “Look, m’sorry ‘bout what went down with Aiden today.”

You sigh, shrugging your shoulders. You knew he really didn’t mean it. Anything Daryl did he did it with pride, standing on whatever decision he made. “Aiden can be an asshole sometimes, I know. But you and your group need to understand that things like that don’t happen in Alexandria. If you guys continue to disrupt the peace I don’t know what Deanna will do.” You inform him honestly. The people in Alexandria had lived in tranquility for so long, they weren’t used to sudden anarchy. Most of them hadn’t even dealt with walkers.

Daryl nods in response, still picking at his nails. An awkward silence had fallen between you two, neither knowing what to say next. It was crazy to think there could ever come a time where you didn’t find comfort in his silence. Daryl was never the most talkative person, you knew this. But regardless, back then it didn’t bother you. You just enjoyed being around him. He was home.

Used to be at least.

It was time to face the reality that you weren’t the same girl you were before the world ended. In fact, you stopped being that girl the moment you escaped your stepmother’s tyranny. You were happy to know Daryl survived so long in this fucked up dystopia, but all his presence has done since his group got to Alexandria was bring back memories you wanted to erase, and cause a rift between you and Aiden.

“He treat you good?” Daryl finally filled the silence. You knew he was talking about Aiden. “He does.” You nod, which Daryl does too. “You love him?” The question catches you off guard, and you’re not sure how to answer because the truth was, you weren’t sure if you loved Aiden. You knew you cared about him though. “Doesn’t matter.”

“To me it does.”

“Well, it shouldn’t. My love life, and life isn’t your concern anymore.” You snap, agitatedly. “You should just go before Aiden comes by. You can let yourself out.” You walk past him, heading back to your couch, mentally cursing yourself for not pretending to be asleep instead of answering the door.

Daryl could feel the disconnection between you and him; he couldn’t understand why, but it was truly starting to frustrate him how you had been writing him off lately. Like he wasn’t an important part of your life once. “Man, what happened to you? Ever since I got here you been distant, and actin’ like you barely know me. I don’t understand why.”

You shake your head. “You don’t need to understand. We’re not having this conversation right now. Just go.” You speak sternly, pointing to the door. Daryl scoffs. “Ain’t goin’ nowhere ‘til you tell me why,” he wasn’t letting up, and you could feel your nerves taking over the more he prodded. “All these years, all that searchin’ just for you to act like it meant nothing. Hell was it for?”

“I’m not doing this.” You turn once more to walk away, but his strong grip on your wrist prevents it, and you’re spun back around to face him.

“Tell me why!”

You snatch your wrist away. “Because you’re a constant reminder, and I hate it, okay?!” You spat. “I fucking hate it! It didn’t mean anything. You didn’t mean anything. We were trauma bonded. We shared the same scars, that’s it. Once I found my courage to run, I threw away the crutches that held me back. I buried my past and everything that came with it.” Hearing your own words fly out of your mouth breaks your heart in two.

Daryl stares at you. His eyes are a bit watery, but he doesn’t shed a tear. He fights it, the way he always has. “S’all I was, huh? A crutch that held you back?” You swallow the lump at the back of your throat, not responding out of fear of breaking down. He nods his head. “I get it.” Is all he says before he’s finally about to exit your home.

The brunette only opens the door halfway before halting. “Y’know… after you left, I regretted not going with you like you wanted me to. I regretted it everyday.” He finally leaves with those being his last words, slamming the door behind him.

You flinch at the slam, eyes squeezing shut. Your bottom lip quivered and chest tightened in pain. You wanted to run after him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. Tears fall now that you were left alone in your own space. Your hand flies over your mouth to muffle the uncontrollable sobs that were starting to slip through.

[theminecraftbee]

Jimmy notices Scott sitting near the edge of the Ace Race launch. They’re both on the practice server; it’s a good place to hang out. Gets away from the kinds of lives they live elsewhere, even if Jimmy figures the one he’s got right now is good enough. Scott’s here a lot, Jimmy’s found; it’s probably some combination of whatever the weird messenger thing he has going on with Noxite is and the number of other lives he’s lived. Jimmy bets it’s just quieter here than, like, he doesn’t know, he’s heard something about pirates?

Anyway, he’s always down to say hi to Scott. Also, Scott looks—strange. Diminished feels rude. Not preening like a peacock? No weird ethereal glow? It can’t be that the romance has worn off, it never really did, not all the way, Jimmy’s always seen him as sort of made of lace and marble and beautiful things from the beginning and even now that they’re like, friends friends, it’s just—

Jimmy plants himself in the grass. He can’t find a poppy, but he can find a dandelion. Close enough?

“Flower for your thoughts?” he says cheerfully.

Scott looks up. He laughs. “You can’t be doing that, Jimmy. We’ll get double-married. I already have too many husbands, you can’t be on there twice.”

“I think I can marry my flower husband as many times as I want,” Jimmy says.

“We barely even do a romance anymore.”

“Well, excuse you for not being a romantic.”

“Me? I’m not the romantic? Me?” Scott says incredulously.

“Well I don’t know how it would be me,” Jimmy says imperiously. He pauses, huffs, and sits down next to Scott. “I mean, we can do romance if you want. Hadn’t done that the last few lives because, you know, work better as friends right now, but I can totally wow you. I can, uh. Uh. Make… chocolate? No, I can’t do that, actually, don’t hold me to that—”

Jimmy pauses.

“Scott,” he says.

“No, keep going,” Scott says weakly.

“Have I done something wrong?” Jimmy asks.

“No, no, it’s just—sort of being a messenger god, I get a feel for things, and—it’s gonna happen again soon, Jimmy.”

“Oh, okay,” Jimmy says. They both know what they’re talking about. “I’m absolutely gonna win this time, just so you know.” He says it with all the false bravado of a person who’s mostly just hoping he doesn’t die first again. This time, this time, this time. He’ll do it by his own merits, though; he’s not sure what he would have done if Joel had actually gone through with the halting plan to die for him that he’d told Jimmy about last time. Probably crowed on happily about it, honestly, but with needles in his stomach the whole time.

Scott hasn’t responded yet.

“You don’t have to worry. You’re way too good at this. Constant finalist, now that you don’t have me weighing you down,” Jimmy tries.

“I shouldn’t talk about this with you,” Scott says.

“Rude,” Jimmy says. “We’re husbands at least twice over.”

“Yeah, but do you ever regret it? Don’t you—don’t you regret it?” Scott bursts out. “Don’t you ever wake up and—and you weren’t good enough to protect them and you’re not good enough to be loyal to and frankly you aren’t good enough to follow the rules either and, and so you’re just constantly winning. And you aren’t trying and you just think, if you’d just—if you’d just fucking slowed down, figured out how to protect—this is stupid. I’m proud of Martyn. Got him to win, at least. I can’t regret him winning. I wouldn’t have wanted anything else. I never have. Forget I said anything.”

Jimmy stares.

“I don’t regret it,” he says, and he’s surprised to realize he’s telling the truth.

“Not even for all the mocking?” Scott says.

“I mean. Wouldn’t have teamed with Grian and Joel if…”

“Oh,” Scott says. He stares out over the practice server. Jimmy cannot guess what’s going on in his head. No matter how many lives they’re friends, husbands, lovers both star-crossed and casual, enemies, and friends again in, Jimmy has to admit, Scott’s kind of a closed book. It’s one of the character flaws he has to make up for being perfect at everything else.

It’s part of what makes him Scott.

“I don’t regret it,” Jimmy says, almost more urgently.

“Oh,” Scott says again. “I do.”

Jimmy’s not sure what to say to that.

He’s never been good enough at winning much of anything to understand that kind of regret, is the thing. Blessing, curse, whatever else, he just…

“Sorry. I’ll be better tomorrow. Not normally the kind of person for this stuff,” Scott says. “It’s not that I’m not confident, it’s just…”

That, though. That, Jimmy can understand.

He scoots closer to Scott.

“Let’s race. I’ll totally beat you so badly. I was watching CPK do skips. And, I don’t know about you, but…”

“Yeah, you’ll hit those in your dreams,” Scott says. Neither of them move to stand up, though. They remain sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, watching other participants jump off the launch. It’s nice here. Quiet. A place apart from all the lives they live. Jimmy wonders if that’s why Scott’s here so much. Jimmy might have to show up too; that’s what increasingly old friends are for, he figures.

[writingwithfolklore]

Your Beta Readers are Always Right

              That’s not to say that you take every single recommendation or piece of feedback that they give you, but rather that you shouldn’t argue with your beta readers. They are always correct, because they will (should) always give you their honest thoughts and interpretations of your work. To call them wrong would be to call them lying… And unless you’ve run into a super evil beta reader who is trying to discourage you through lying about what they think of your work, why would they lie to you?

              If one beta reader hates your work but five others love it, that’s not to say that one person is wrong. This is data. No matter what you or others say, that beta reader’s feedback still stands on its own. It says, maybe this book isn’t for everyone—if I was the writer, would I address this? No, because no work is going to please everyone, and 5/6 is pretty good.

              If someone thinks your MC is annoying (and they aren’t meant to be)—that’s what they honestly and truly think. It’s your job to decide if that’s an issue you’re going to address or not. If 9/10 people say that, maybe that’s a good hint that you should go back in.

              I’ve given feedback that has caused people to explain specific parts of their work to me as if to say, “no—because look at this.” I’ve read the same thing they’re giving me—I still think what I originally thought. I wasn’t lying, and I’m not going to think differently from reading the same thing twice. Does that mean they always have to take my notes? Absolutely not—it’s up to them to decide whether the problem that I see is worth addressing. Just because I might put down a book for some reason, doesn’t mean that everyone would, and doesn’t mean that the book needs to cater to what exactly I like.

              I hope this makes sense! What’s the most helpful note a beta reader has ever given you?

[mountttmase]

Winter Sun - Chapter 3

Note - chapter three already I can’t 😭 honestly thank you so much for all the love and interaction on this it’s really warming my cold little heart 🥹 enjoy this one kiddos and let me know what you think 🩷 also sorry if the tag list didn’t work last week I think I’ve fixed it for this one 🤞🏻

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 7.1k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut & angst

Masterlist

After your late night between the sheets, you treated yourself to a lie in the next morning. Waking to find a text from Carly to meet her by the pool with the others when you were ready, so you quickly threw on a bikini and shorts before throwing over a shirt and grabbing your things to go and find her.

You knew they shouldn’t, but Mason's words from yesterday were playing in your head a little bit still. You knew he meant nothing by it and was just being his cheeky self but you didn’t want to be a customer of his no matter if he meant it as a joke or not. It made you feel as if you were in a long line of girls he picked up whenever he felt like it and yes you were technically just friends but you couldn’t help but feel upset about it. Especially after the awkward good night you’d suffered through after you were both done last night and you felt like the whole arrangement you had going on was a bit weird now.

By the time you were outside pretty much everyone was there bar Woody, Kayla and Mason and you quickly said hello to Dec and Lauren before making your way over to Carly who had Ben's head laid in her lap as she played with his hair.

‘Morning lovebirds’ you smiled, standing at the end of their sun lounger before Carly patted the one next to her.

‘I’ve saved you a seat’

‘Oh, that’s a double though I don’t wanna take up a whole one to myself’ you told her, looking to see if one of the single ones were free but they were on the other side of the pool so you wouldn’t be able to speak to her.

‘There’s plenty for everyone else, come on it’s fine’ she pouted and after another quick scan around you realised she was right so you got yourself comfortable. The pair of you sat chatting and catching up until the others emerged and about half an hour later Mason showed up. The sight of him making your mouth water as he made his way over to everyone.

You’d seen him in a lot less by now but the tiny black swim shorts were making your tummy churn as they accentuated all your favourite features of his. Low on his soft hips but his thighs were still strong and the mole on his tummy was driving you wild. You kept your eyes down though and pretended to read as he made his way over to you.

‘Morning all’ he chirped and you sent him a quick smile before going back to reading. It didn’t deter him from flopping down next to you though and when you didn’t look at him, you felt his hand gently trail up your thigh before giving it a quick squeeze.

‘What are you doing?’ You whispered, heart racing from the feel of his fingers. Gulping down a nervous lump and quickly flashing your eyes his way to look at him. He was giving you his usual cheeky, innocent smile but you knew he knew what was happening.

‘What?’

‘Don’t, people might see’ you told him, moving your leg so his hand dropped onto the cushion with a thud and you could see his scowl from the corner of your eye.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing, I’m fine’

‘Did you sleep okay?’

‘I said I’m fine’

‘Y/n, I grew up in a house full of women. I know fine doesn’t mean fine’

‘I just wanna read my book’ you told him lowly and after a small nod he slowly got up and made his way over to the pool.

You felt awful instantly, watching him over your glasses as he swam a few laps with a solemn expression. You knew Mason and you knew he meant no harm with what he’d said yesterday. This was a tricky situation, lines were a little bit blurry but there was no use being snappy with him for something you knew he meant as a joke and you were being sensitive over. No matter how much he’d made you feel like it was something else, even in this short space of time, you were friends and the friendship comes first.

The longer you watched him, the more guilty you felt and you watched as he propped himself up at the end of the pool. His chin resting on his arms as he faced away from you and you knew you had to talk to him and apologise so you carefully got up to go and see him. Plonking yourself down at the edge of the pool next to him so you could dangle your legs in the water before looking at him in hopes you could catch his eye.

He looked up at you instantly, his big brown eyes making your tummy sink so you reached out to gently grasp the back of his head so you could pull him closer to you and he thankfully went with it. Your heart leaping when he settled himself between your legs, arms wrapping around your thighs before he rested his cheek on top of one so he could look up at you.

‘Sorry Mase. I didn’t mean to be moody’ you told him quietly and the small smile on his lips filled you with relief.

‘S’okay. Are you alright?’

‘I’m fine, I promise’ you reassured him, feeling even worse that he didn't seem to mind your mood swing. He just wanted to make sure you were okay. ‘Maybe I should have stayed in bed a bit longer, huh? I’ll be fine after a nap’

‘You’ve only just woken up’ he chuckled, eyes brighter than before which caused you to smile as you knew you were okay again and you let your hand get lost in his hair.

‘Hey, naps can be taken anytime of the day’

‘Very true’ he giggled, squeezing your thighs gently. ‘Let me know when you’re taking one I’ll join you’

You weren’t sure if it was the sun bearing down on you or if it was Mason himself but you felt warmed from the inside and as your hand was trailing over the top of his back and you were surprised at how warm his skin felt too. ‘Have you put sunscreen on?’ You asked but he shook his head shyly. ‘Come on, I’ve got some let me help you’

‘You don’t wanna come for a swim?’

‘No thanks, waters not really my thing. You should be thankful I’m even sat here’ you laughed before he kissed your thigh and swam back slightly to let you up.

Mason managed to dry off a little bit before he sat at the end of the sun lounger with his back to you and you slid in behind him to get to work. You'd never really taken a good look at his back before but he was much broader than you realised and you loved the way his muscles contracted under your touch. Taking your time to really look at him and feel him before telling him to turn and face you.

You let him get comfortable, one leg stretched out on the lounger now so you could sit yourself closer to his body. Noticing the way he shivered as you applied the cold cream to his skin before sending him an apologetic smile. He didn’t seem to mind though, a soft smile playing on his face as he watched your every move and you hoped he couldn’t hear your heart going at a mile a minute as you touched his chest and down to his abs.

It felt weird having these feelings. Mason was a friend and you knew that. But he was a gorgeous, funny and kind friend with an incredible body and you couldn’t believe you were sat here touching him up like this in front of everyone. Only made worse when his hand reached out to touch your thigh carefully.

The sound and feel of his belly rumbling as you applied the sunscreen to his body made you chuckle, eyeing him curiously as he laughed at himself before you rested your hands on his hips.

‘You not had anything to eat yet?’ You asked, watching him shake his head before you let out a little sigh. ‘Why not?’

‘You didn’t make me anything’

‘Oh so it’s my fault?’ You laughed, squeezing his sides playfully and watching him giggle and squirm before he nodded his head.

‘Well sort of yeah. It’s sort of your job whilst you’re here’ he winked causing you to roll your eyes but you knew he was right.

‘Fine. Just your face to do then I’ll make you something’ you smiled, applying some more cream to your fingers before awkwardly pushing your sunglasses up your face so you could get a better look at him. Thankfully for you the sun was behind you so you could see him perfectly and the sight almost took your breath away. Admiring all the tiny freckles that littered his face, the curve of his nose and the fullness of his lips. He really was beautiful and you used the excuse of putting sunscreen on his face to look at him like you never had before.

You knew he was watching you too, his bright brown eyes following you out of the corner of your eye but as soon as you tried to make eye contact, he looked down and a rosy tint began to flush over his cheeks.

‘I’ve never noticed how many freckles you have before’ you told him quietly, letting his eyes flicker up to you again before looking away. ‘They’re really pretty, I’m actually very jealous’ you whispered but before he could reply the sound of someone else’s voice caught your attention.

‘Oi Mase, why are you so red?’ Ben laughed from behind you and the fact that Ben had noticed only made it even worse. ‘Are you blushing?’

‘No, fuck off. It’s the sun’ he retorted, his hands suddenly retreating from your leg as he played with his fingers in his lap and you felt your heart sink a little bit.

‘Ben’ you suddenly heard Carly moan. Drawing his name out in disappointment followed by the sound of a gentle slap to the back of his head. ‘Will you stop it. Leave him alone’

‘What? I’m just-‘

‘No you’re being mean’

‘Come on, let me go make you something’ you smiled softly, standing up and offering him your hand even though you knew it was a bit risky but he took it anyway and let you pull him up before following you into the kitchen. ‘You want anything in particular?’

‘Whatever the chef recommends’ he winked and after a quick look in the cupboards you found everything you needed to make pancakes.

Mason sat and watched as you got everything together, asking if he could help in any way so you passed him a few bananas for him to slice up so they were ready before asking him to get the drinks ready. When you finally placed his food down in front of him he sent you the most appreciative smile and your heart thudded at his wide grin.

‘Thank you, Muffin. These look amazing’ he smiled as you put your plate down opposite him and watched him dig in. You loved waiting for Mason's reactions whenever you made him something to eat as he was always seemingly blown away and this time was no exception. Shovelling it in like he’d been starved for weeks as he let you know how good it was in between mouthfuls.

‘What’s going on here?’ You suddenly heard, turning to see Dec walking in, eyes on your plates as he licked his lips before sitting down next to you. ‘Why is he getting special treatment?’

‘He’s not’ you laughed, cheeks flushing at the thought of being found out. ‘Do you want something?’

‘No thanks, Lauren made me something earlier’ he teased whilst nicking a few blueberries from Masons plate.

‘Why are you moaning then?’ Mason laughed, moving his plate away out of Declan’s reach so he couldn’t take anymore of his food.

‘Cause that looks better than what I had’

‘You wait till I tell Lauren that. You won’t be eating for the rest of the week’ Mason teased, watching Dec’s face drop before standing up.

‘You do that, and I’ll make things difficult for you’ he scoffed before grabbing a few bottles of water out of the fridge. ‘Now hurry up you two, we need someone else for water volleyball’

‘I’ll be out in a minute, y/n can keep score’ Mason told him, sending you a quick wink as if he was acknowledging what you told him earlier and once you were both done he quickly helped you wash up before meeting them outside.

Kayla had also decided to sit this one out so you sat with her, pretending to keep score as you got to know each other a little better and you were pleased to find out how suited to Woody she was. She seemed to really care for him and when Woody jumped out the pool to grab his glasses she blushed as he placed a quick kiss to the top of her head.

‘You and Mason seem sweet together’

‘Oh we’re not together’ You told her, ‘we’re just friends’

‘Oh I’m so sorry’ she panicked, face going ever redder and she tried to hide in her hands but you just laughed which seemed to make her feel better. ‘I just assumed, thinking it was a couples holiday. That’s why I was so confused about you having separate rooms, you seem really close’

‘Its okay, we are pretty close and I think since he’s moved away i just miss him a bit more than usual. It’s nice to be with him again for more than a couple of hours’

‘Oh trust me, Woody doesn’t shut up about him and then every Tuesday at 8pm on the dot they have their little weekly facetime. Sometimes I think I should be worried’

‘You should speak to Lauren about that’ you laughed, watching Mason try and climb on Ben's shoulders so he could reach higher for the ball. ‘I think she’s genuinely worried Dec might leave her for him one day’

After another 20 minutes or so everyone was ready to get out, Woody stealing Kayla away to their own lounger and you’d noticed Mason had sunk down on the one you’d been occupying earlier. His eyes caught yours straight away as he called you back over so you gathered up your things to go and sit by him again.

‘Mase you’re all wet’ you complained as you got there, walking round to his side so you were further away from Carly and Ben and hopefully out of ear shot before watching him shake his hair like a dog as he sent you a lopsided smile.

‘It’s alright, I’ll dry. I wondered if you fancied that nap you spoke about earlier?’ He asked and you couldn’t deny him. Placing your things down on the floor but he was quick to stop you before you tried to lay down. His hand on your thigh to cease your movements causing you to look down at him in confusion. ‘I have conditions, and those are that those shorts and that shirt need to come off’ he told you quietly. Fingers dancing over the backs of your legs as he teased you but you figured two could play at that game.

‘You wish is my command’ you laughed, stepping back and away from him so you could remove the open shirt off your arms before unbuttoning your shorts and pulling them down your legs so you were just left in your white bikini. ‘That better?’

‘Perfect’ he smiled, his tongue darting out of his mouth as he looked you up and down before helping you back onto the lounger. He wasn’t sat down for long though, quickly getting up to pull the umbrella over you so you could both be out of the direct sunlight and you smiled to yourself at the thoughtful gesture. ‘I’ll try and have a think about what I want for lunch next’ he teased, laying beside you as you turned to face each other.

‘Hey Mase, why don’t I have a FaceTime time slot?’

‘What are you on about?’

‘Kayla told me you and Woody facetime every Tuesday at 8 and I bet Dec and Ben have a slot. Where’s mine?’ You teased, watching his face hide in the pillow as he laughed before facing you again with a wide smile.

‘I can add you to the rota. I’ll have my receptionist send over my availability’ he teased but you just rolled your eyes before turning onto your back.

‘Very funny’ you huffed, shutting your eyes as you could feel them becoming heavy but the feeling of Mason's pinkie linking yours made your heart thud and when you opened an eye to look at him he was still on his side but his eyes were shut.

You woke up a little while later pressed up against something warm but soft. Opening your eyes to find yourself laying on Mason's chest with your arm across his waist whilst he rested his hand on your back, dangerously close to your bum.

‘You make sure you’re behaving, Mason’ you whispered, noticing he wasn’t fully asleep and the little chuckle that fell from his lips let you know he’d heard you.

‘I always am’ he smiled. Pressing a light kiss to your forehead as his fingers danced just above the waistline of your bikini bottoms. ‘You’re not a bad sight to wake up to, Muffin’

‘Gee, thanks Mase’ you laughed, attempting to move but he didn’t let you. Holding you tighter to him as he trapped your leg in his and you knew better than to try and escape.

‘Don’t go, I’m comfy’ he breathed so you stayed where you were even though you knew it was risky but by the looks of it everyone else was asleep too so you basked in the feel of him while everyone else napped around the pool.

After you’d made Mason some lunch, you topped up his sun cream and he offered to help you with yours. Your skin tingling as his hands massaged you slightly and you had to bite your lip so you didn’t start laughing.

You and the rest of the girls went off to get dressed early, going all out tonight and the four of you were in the upstairs sitting room so you could do your makeup together before you popped downstairs to slip your outfit on. You hadn’t got dressed up like this in a while and you couldn’t wait to see Mason's reaction to your frilly lemon two piece that was showing off your tan perfectly.

The plan was to meet in the kitchen at seven so at two minutes too, you grabbed your bag and made your way out of your room. Just as you closed the door behind you, Masons opened. Standing there dressed in cargos and a baggy blue button up but his face was a picture. Eyes wide as they scanned your body fully but it was his tongue nearly falling out of his mouth that made you laugh.

‘Do I look alright?’ You asked, giving him a little twirl but the shuddery breath he let out told you all you needed to know.

‘Are you joking? I’m an actual dead man. Have your worn this just to taunt me?’’

‘No, I just thought it looked cute’

‘Well that’s one word for it’ he breathed, letting you walk in front before he gripped your hips and placed a kiss behind your ear. ‘I think yellow might be my new favourite colour’

‘Come on Mase keep your hands to yourself’ you chuckled, a tingle heading straight down your spine at the feel of his lips on your skin and you were hoping there would be more where that came from later.

‘How can I? I know what you’ve got hiding under here now’ he teased but he slowed down on the stairs so it looked like the pair of you weren’t too close.

Once you were out for dinner, Mason sat next to you again and his arm was back around your chair as you all casually chatted amongst yourselves. Laughing and joking as the boys told stories from camps and all the adventures they’d been on and you felt so full of happiness to be there with them enjoying moments like this.

You’d known it all day, but you were so thankful for Mason and his kindness. You knew you wouldn’t be here without him and you were having the best time so when you caught his eye and he sent you a wink, you had to hold yourself to your seat so you didn’t lean over and kiss him.

The club you were all going to wasn’t far and all the girls led the way with the boys trailing behind and it’s like you could feel Mason's eyes on your bum. Feeling his hand on your shoulder as you neared the entrance so he could lead the way in and over to your reserved table.

Carly ordered your drinks, four pornstar martinis showing up a little while after for all the girls as well as a few bottles of some sort of spirit the boys had ordered and you made it your mission to let loose tonight. Accepting as many shots that were thrown your way, even pouring them straight into Carly’s mouth at one point until Mason cut you off for a little bit and even though you sent him a pout you knew he was just looking out for you.

You were buzzed enough to join the girls for a dance, thankfully not being touched up by any random men this time so you could finally let go. Not caring about what you looked like or who was even looking at you in the first place. Just you and your girls having the time of your lives.

You had to take a break eventually, running out of steam so you plonked on a table in your section and Mason appeared as if by magic with a glass of water ready for you.

‘You’re a lifesaver, thank you Mase’ you gasped, gulping the whole glass down as he looked at you with a funny look in his eye.

‘That’s alright, Muffin. You having a good time?’

‘I really am. Honestly thank you so much Mason, I’ll never be able to repay you or say thank you enough for letting me come here’

‘Don’t be silly. You belong here with us’ he teased, bumping his shoulder into yours playfully but you knew he was just feeling a little shy.

He sat with you for the next 15 minutes or so, talking about the boat trip tomorrow and if you were going to be okay on there. Promising if you didn’t like it he’d get you off and you could spend the day on the beach together but you let him know you’d be fine and you were excited as long as you stayed in the middle.

‘Hey Mase, come join the boys’ you suddenly heard Dec shout from not too far away but Mason just scoffed at him.

‘I’m fine here’

‘Mate come on’

‘I’ll come in a minute, I’m in the middle of a conversation’

‘Look mate I’m not gonna lie, you’re ruining my plans’ Dec told him seriously but you both looked back at him unsure as to what he meant. ‘How are we supposed to find y/n a shag when you won’t leave her alone’

‘Dec I’m not here looking for a shag thank you very much’ you laughed. ‘This trip is supposed to be about us spending time together’

‘Yeah yeah whatever, I’ve made it my mission to get you a man’

‘Dec, I don’t need your help’

‘Sure you do now come on, who’s got your eye’

‘I’m not having this conversation with you’ you laughed as Mason finally stood up.

‘I’ll take one for the team and go with him’ Mason laughed, squeezing your thigh gently but as you looked up to Dec you knew he’d seen so Mason quickly scurried away to go and sit with the other guys.

‘I’ve got my eye on you’

‘What do you mean? What have I done now?’

‘I’m not sure yet, but I’m watching you’

The girls were back soon, coming to sit with you so you could order more drinks and take silly selfies before joining the boys again. Noticing Mason was standing just off to the side on the phone and you wondered who he was speaking to before he walked back over, rolling his eyes.

‘Mase? Everything okay?’ Carly asked but he just let out a huff before speaking.

‘No the bloody security alarms going off in the villa. They’ve tried turning it off remotely but they need someone to put a code in. It’s fine it’s not loud or anything and they said it can wait but I’d feel better if I sorted it out. I’ll pop back there now it won’t take me a sec’

‘I’ll come with you, just to be safe’ you offered and even though you could see him trying to hide a smile you knew it would take some convincing.

‘You don’t have to’

‘No these shoes are killing me, I can change them while we’re there’ you replied and that seemed enough for him.

The house wasn’t far away and it was a nice night so you suggested walking, only making it two streets before your shoes became unbearable and Mason noticed straight away.

‘Shall we just get a cab?’ He laughed, pulling his phone out before you even answered but you were grateful for his suggestion. Popping yourself down on the wall next to the pavement so you take them off and the sympathetic smile he was giving you made your heart melt.

‘I’m wearing flats the rest of this week’ you huffed, looking up to find Mason taking a picture of you but he just shrugged when you raised your brow at him.

‘You look cute tonight’ he winked, popping his phone back in his pocket before taking a seat next to you and you knew you were blushing. ‘Cab shouldn’t be much longer’

‘Thanks’ you nodded, pulling your phone out and taking a picture of him unaware and when the flash made him look up you sent him a wink. ‘What? You look cute tonight’

‘Very funny’ he rolled his eyes, before holding his hand out for you to take. Pulling you flush into his side so he could wrap his arm around you. ‘Can I ask you something? About this morning?’

‘Of course, what’s up?’ You asked, unsure of what he wanted to talk about but he seemed a little shy about it.

‘Are you okay? You know after this morning when you were a bit upset? I know you said you needed a nap but I just wanted to make sure you’re fine’ he explained, your heart melting at his concern for you but you knew you’d have to be honest with him now. ‘I know I keep saying it but it really is fine if you don’t wanna carry on-‘

‘No mase, that wasn’t it’ you laughed, resting your hand on his thigh and he smiled at the gesture.

‘What was it then? You can tell me, even if it was me. I just want you to be comfortable with everything’

‘I am, I promise. I just… you said something last night and I couldn’t stop overthinking it but I realised earlier I was being silly and it’s fine. You’ve done nothing Mase, I promise’

‘What did I say?’

‘I’m gonna sound ridiculous’

‘That’s okay, you normally do but I’ve learnt to just go with it’ he joked and you playfully scoffed as he tickled your side.

‘Thanks Mase’

‘I’m kidding, please tell me’

‘Last night, you said you like to keep your customers happy. I don’t know it just felt weird being referred to as a customer of yours and I know that makes no sense but-‘

‘No, it does. Sorry I shouldn't have said that I was just trying to be funny’ he told you, rolling his eyes. ‘I’m sorry Muffin, I didn’t mean anything by it’

‘I know you didn’t, and I didn’t mean to have a strop, like I felt awful for how I spoke to you’

‘Let’s just forget about it yeah’ he laughed, placing a kiss to your forehead but wished he’d kissed somewhere else. ‘But if I say something stupid again just tell me’

‘I will’ you laughed, squeezing his thigh gently. ‘And if I have a strop again please just ignore me’

‘I’ll try. You’re pretty hard to ignore though, Muffin. Especially dressed like this’

You didn’t have time to say anything else, the taxi pulling up and you both jumped in the back seat so you could take the short journey back and before long Mason was carrying you on his back up to the door.

‘I’ll call the people, you change your shoes and we’ll head back, sound good?’

‘Yes sir’ you winked, watching his eyes nearly rolling back in his head at your words.

‘Fuck, don’t do that’ he groaned, laughing as you ran away from him before he could reach for you but the growl that left his lips gave you butterflies.

‘Behave, Mason’ you told him, trying to give him a cheeky smirk. ‘Go sort the alarm and I’ll meet you in a sec like we promised’

You were just pulling on your left shoe when Mason knocked on your open door, turning to find him leaning against the frame with a sweet smile on his face

‘Alarms off’

‘Perfect, I’m good to go now too’

‘You want me to get us a cab back?’

You didn’t have a chance to reply, your phone ringing as you walked out into the hallway to stand by him and as you took it out of your bag you saw Carly calling.

‘Hey, you alright? We’re just leaving now’

‘Yeah good, don't worry about coming back if you don’t want to. Woody is feeling a little fragile so him and Kayla are heading back and we’ll follow shortly. The boys just want to finish their drinks so give us about 40/45 minutes and we’ll be back’

‘Oh okay’ you breathed, looking up at Mason's confused face but the fact you now had some alone time made you smile, much to his confusion. ‘In that case, I think I’m gonna have a shower and head straight to bed then but I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?’

‘Yeah I think we’ll all do the same’ she replied and after a quick goodbye you popped your phone back in your bag before wrapping your arms around Mason's neck.

‘Woodys not well. He’s on the way back with Kayla but we’ve got about 40 minutes until the others get back’

‘Oh really?’ He smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist as he backed you up against the doorframe to your room. ‘You know now that we’re here, we could use this time to our advantage’

‘Oh yeah?’ You teased, running your fingers through the back of his hair as his face got dangerously close to yours. ‘You know I was thinking of taking a shower’

‘Funnily enough so was i’

‘Maybe we could share one? Save water and all that’ you offered, causing him to squeeze your sides playfully.

‘You’re a very smart woman you know’ he winked but he didn’t give you a chance to reply, kissing you with a moan as he tried to back you into your room, kicking the door shut behind him so he could press you up against it. ‘God I hate this no kissing rule. I’ve wanted to do that all day’ he confessed, whispering his words against your neck before pushing himself off of you slightly. ‘Wanted to take this off you all night too’ he mumbled, reaching for your skirt and not caring to look at how to undo it, so you pushed him off with a laugh so you could get it off without ripping it.

‘Well calm down, this was expensive’ you laughed, blushing from his words and how needed he seemed for you but you were just as needy for him too so you carefully unzipped the back and pulled it off before doing the same with the top. Thanking your lucky stars that you remembered to put one of your new underwear sets on and you could see him practically drooling at the sight of you in your strapless lacy set.

‘You’re the biggest tease I’ve ever met in my life’ he breathed, pulling you into his still fully dressed frame and as you let out a little giggle he captured your lips again in a hungry kiss. Feeling his hands dip into the top of your underwear and grip you bum tightly as you moaned into his mouth and you swore you could have stayed there kissing him forever but you didn’t want to wait any longer for him. Reaching to the collar of his shirt so you could start undoing the buttons before trailing your fingers up his body and under the shoulders so you could push it off of him. Feeling him shiver under your touch but he just pulled you closer afterwards so he could feel your warm skin on his.

You were frantic, pulling away from him so you could focus on unbuttoning his trousers but he didn’t seem to want his lips to part from you. Kissing all over your neck and shoulders as you finally pushed them down his hips and to the floor before he hugged your thighs and threw you over his shoulder so he could take you into the bathroom and you squealed as he lifted you. Holding onto him wherever you could before he popped you down and shut the door behind him. Making sure to lock it just in case someone came in on the off chance.

The pair of you quickly rid yourselves of your underwear and walked behind the glass. Giggling like kids as you took each other in your arms so you could pick up where you left off outside the bathroom before Mason broke away, fiddling with the shower panel to make it come on so you used this time to kiss over his chest. Sneakily leaving a little love bite by his nipple before you felt his fingers thread through the back of your hair so he could tug you away and his dark eyes made your knees weak as he tutted softly.

‘Thats naughty’ he whispered, lips attaching to your jaw so he could kiss along up to your ear. ‘Turn around for me’

You did as he asked, turning away from him and walking towards the shower wall as he held your back and walked with you. Propping your hands on the shower wall as he pressed you right up against it, your head turning to the side so you could just about see him over your shoulder before his lips came to your ear.

‘Good girl, that’s it’ he mumbled, placing his knee between your thighs so he could inch them apart. One hand gripping your bum and the other grabbed hold of himself so he could guide himself in. ‘You ready for me?’

‘P-please Masey’ you breathed, hearing him groan one final time before he pushed himself in gently. Knowing there wasn’t much foreplay involved so he needed to take his time but the stretch of him felt delicious. Moaning louder than you’d intended to but the slow movement of his hips were speeding up by the second until he was pounding into you. Your back pressed firmly against his front as he laid some of his weight on you whilst his hands reached round to grab your chest. Slowly kneading your flesh before you felt his teeth ever so slightly sink into your shoulder.

‘M-Mase, fuck that’s so good’ you panted, wanting to grip onto something more tangible as you fingers were slipping on the wet shower walls so you reached behind you to grab onto him and the feeling of your hand on his lower back made him plough into you even harder.

‘Arch your back for me, Muffin’ he asked, pulling your hips away from the wall and with him a step, forcing you to stick your bum even higher in the air before his hand came to hold your waist so he could control you a bit more. ‘That's it’

‘Mase’ you whimpered, this new angle hitting even better. Feeling your knees almost give out but his strong grip was holding you up as he used your body how he wished.

‘You can take it, I know you can’ he panted, the sounds of skin slapping in skin making your brain go foggy but you knew you’d never felt like this before. ‘God you feel so fucking good’

You had no idea Mason had the power to be like this with you, to be rough with his touches yet make you tingle with his praise. You wanted to be good for him, to take what he wanted to give you and make him feel good too and from the way he was moaning and groaning behind you you had a feeling he was enjoying it just as much.

You were close, closer than you wanted to be as you were enjoying this far too much and he must have felt it as he slowed down ever so slightly before pulling out of you and spinning you so your back now pressed against the tiles.

Your eyes followed his every move, letting him hook your leg over his arm so you were more easily accessible before he was pushing back into you. Your hands settling on his shoulders so you could support yourself as his free hand held your waist.

He was taking things much slower this way round. Gently rocking himself in and out of you but you weren’t sure if this pace was better or worse for you as you felt your high build once more.

‘You’re doing so good, I can feel you wanna cum though so just let go for me okay?’

‘Okay’ you whispered, letting him pick his speed up again and it didn’t take much more for you to be tipped over the edge. Moaning his name as he still went at you relentlessly until you felt his hips stutter, a string of curse words falling from his lips before he slumped against you slightly so you could both get your breath back.

‘Was I too much? I was still thinking about you calling me sir just before and I think I just went a little crazy’ he laughed in your ear, pulling out of you with a hiss so he could pull you straight into his arms and under the running water. Your heart thumping at his sweet gesture.

‘No mase, I liked it’ you laughed, holding him around his waist as he did the same to you and you couldn’t help but mirror his shy smile.

‘As long as you’re sure?’

‘Positive’ you winked before he pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead.

You didn’t spend long in there, quickly getting washed and out before meeting Mason in the main part of the bathroom where he was sitting on the closed lid of your loo. Beckoning you over to come and stand in between his legs but as soon as your hands made contact with his skin you knew something was off.

‘Mase, your shoulders look a bit pink’ you told him. His skin feeling hot to the touch and he slightly winced as you stroked his skin.

‘Yeah they feel a little weird I think I’m a bit burnt’

‘Stay there, I’ll put some after sun on for you’ you told him. Reaching for the bottle on the side so you could apply it but you felt bad as soon as he flinched when the cold cream hit his skin so you rubbed it in as soon as possible. Feeling his muscles relax under your fingers as you massaged him slightly before he looked up at you with his big brown eyes.

‘What’s all that stuff up there?’ He asked, nodding to the shelf under your mirror and you smiled when you caught onto what he was referring to.

‘My skincare’

‘Why do you have so much?’

‘We weren’t all blessed with clear and baby soft skin like you unfortunately’ you teased, tapping the end of his nose lightly which caused him to blush. ‘Would you like to try some?’

‘Okay’ he whispered, watching you with curious eyes as you applied various creams and serums to his face. His hands holding the backs of your legs the whole time and when you were done you pressed a light kiss to the end of his nose without even thinking.

‘All done’ you smiled, taking a step back to you could reach for the after sun and start to apply it to yourself but he took it from your hand and stood behind you. Massaging it into your shoulders as you caught eyes in the mirror in front of you.

‘Do you think we need to tone it down a bit?’ You asked, picking up your cleanser so you could start on your own skincare. ‘I don’t want anyone to suspect anything and I’m pretty sure Dec’s picking up on some vibes’

‘I’ll tell him to back off, don’t worry’ he laughed, hands smoothing over your skin still even though the after sun was all rubbed in. ‘Plus if we go too far the other way they’ll be suspicious too’

‘I guess you’re right’ you shrugged, Turing in his arms after applying the last of your moisturiser before covering your face with your hands so he didn't see you yawn.

‘Aww is my little Muffin sleepy’ he teased

‘It’s been a long day’ you defended with a light laugh so hand in hand he walked you to your bedroom door and with a quick kiss to your forehead he walked across the hallway to his room opposite.

‘Oh wait’ he suddenly called, just over the threshold of his room and by the time you looked up he’d removed the towel from his body and was standing there completely naked. ‘You can have this back’ he laughed, throwing it in your direction and thankfully it landed on your head so you couldn’t see him anymore but you heard the door click and the sounds of his muffled laughter ringing through the halls.

y/n

liked by masonmount, laurenfryer_, woody_ and others

y/n yellow to make the boys say hello ��

view more comments

declanrice yeah right you wouldn’t leave our side let alone say hello to anyone. I know your game

y/n wow sorry for wanting to spend time with my friends 🙄 won’t bother next time

laurenfryer_ don’t listen to him girl 😩 we’ve got the whole week to find you a man 😉

masonmount who’s that handsome devil in the last picture?

y/n no idea, I don’t see one

benchilwell I don’t either

woody_ neither do I

masonmount ☹️

okaylaaa girly you look delectable 🤭 like a little lemon cupcake I’m living

y/n SAYS YOU 🥹 you’re actually the cutest

conorgallagher92 Mason I think that shirts a little too big mate

masonmount it’s called fashion

y/n if you say so

conorgallagher92 good to see you in blue 😉

carlywlms_ my beautiful bestie 🥹 so excited for our week together like you don’t understand 🩷

y/n trust me I think I might be more excited than you 😭

masonsprivate hello

y/n 👋🏻🙊

Tagged: @footiehoemcfc @prideofpd @yoursselo @chelseachilly @willow-writer-ivy @mm-vii @katharinanadiaa @mmountseb @carlottawllms @saltyheartnightmare @masonmtxo @harvestmount @chillymountsjess @treblebluesblog @pulisicsgirl @bluesswift @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps

[eddiemunson-reader-shame]

Good Morning Hawkins I Have Dad!Eddie Munson Headcanons

Why are we as a society not talking about Stay At Home Dad Eddie?

I know we want our little domestic fantasies. But this man consistently says “fuck the system” every day. No forced conformity in this private domicile.

If you’ve got the drive to want to work after having the kid, he volunteers to stay home and take care of the baby.

Honestly, with his reputation it might be easier should you decide to stay in Hawkins because you’re the face of the relationship. It might actually be harder for him to find a job in town than it might be for you.

He also 100% cleans up his act, stops selling, and goes on the straight and narrow after having a kid. He doesn’t want baby reaching into cabinets and getting into things they shouldn’t get into.

He may still sell a little grass on the side, but he keeps it hidden in the van where little fingers can’t access it.

Eddie might not be the best housekeeper, but god dammit he tries. Like, he will genuinely try over and over to get things right even if it kills him. You don’t have to worry about weaponized incompetence with him.

He’ll start having favorite brands of cleaning products, favorite brands of formula and diapers, and he might get fussy if you bring the wrong ones home.

He’s a nerd. Plain and simple. He’ll be picking up Dustin in the van and taking little munchkin to the library to find any kind of book in relation to parenting, cooking, etc.

I can see Eddie actually becoming a very competent cook. He even makes the kid’s meals into fun little shapes for their lunchboxes.

Fun finger foods is his main staple when he’s not being Betty Crocker.

Literally does not care how he looks, he’ll push the most dolled up little stroller around Hawkins in broad daylight. He’ll wander out to Bradley’s in a polkadot apron and a pink baby sling. And when the kid is old enough to play salon with daddy, he’s gonna wander out in public with anything from pink scrunchies and glitter polish to a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack and magic marker on his face.

I can see Eddie being a little shit and purposely buying the most girly pink items for the baby when they’re little, no matter the gender.

He likes wearing pink in public. It pisses off the conservative parents who see him and the kid coming.

The only thing is you have to have a serious talk with him about is smoking around the kid, because Eddie’s one flaw may be that he’s got the propensity to be a cigarette mom. (It’s the late 80’s, and this was reality for a lot of older Millennials.)

So throw away his Camels and pay Dustin to tail him with a fire extinguisher.

Dustin is going to be Parent Number 3 in this relationship. I’m sorry but it’s reality.

Has absolutely no idea how to take care of a baby but is willing to learn.

Eddie would probably have to reschedule D&D nights with his buddies, because money would be hella tight now that the two of you have a little gremlin and one income. So you can’t exactly pay a sitter.

But he loves to make campaigns based on the stories he tells to the baby during bedtime.

RIP to y’all but once you have that baby, Uncle Wayne’s gonna refuse to let you and Eddie move out. He’s gonna change his work schedule too so he can spend time with the baby.

It would probably take a lot of overtime and a bit of Eddie’s extra side hustle, but the single wide is eventually going to get upgraded to a two bedroom double wide.

Uncle Wayne will insist on giving you, Eddie and the baby the master bedroom. Hell, he might even try to give the kid his bedroom.

Eddie is going to fucking refuse to let his uncle sleep in the living room of the new double wide.

Eddie might also become a little codependent on the kid. School will be a nightmare, because he’ll suddenly be alone in the trailer all day and chain smoke waiting for the kiddo to come home from school.

[morallysuperiorlips]

5 Traits That Are GUARANTEED to Make Your Morally Grey Character More Interesting!

They’re constantly clocking themselves for what they do “right” and “wrong”: The beauty of a “morally grey character” is that what they do isn’t always so black and white. However, they don’t seem to be aware of that concept themselves. Every time they do something that one could dub “good” or “bad,” they overthink it—“I shouldn’t have been that compassionate, now they’re gonna think I’m soft.” Or, “I wasn’t amicable enough, now they’re gonna hate me.” Give us all the mental turmoil over how GREY they are.

There is exactly one very small thing they will break all their ideals for: It doesn’t matter what direction it sends them, but it’s one thing that’s probably very trivial in the face of their goals. Perhaps they’re a huge cat lover, and will stop a homicidal tirade to protect a stray. Or, maybe they’re deeply against the concept of social media and what it does to the human mind and will subsequently go on a homicidal tirade because of it.

They are perpetually changing their ideals: I don’t know if it’s just me, but I love a train wreck-y morally grey character who has such a shoddy sense of opinion that they flip-flop their own ideals the moment they hear something that goes against what they’re currently standing for. Perhaps they’re staunchly ready to defend their world’s government by any means necessary, but they hear ONE conspiracy theory that sounds remotely truthful, and the turns table real quick. Extra bonus points if they finally find a way to get their shit together by the end of the story.

Their actions are primarily based around a reckless self-destructive streak: They have things they seek to stand up for, whether it’s a goal or a set of ethics, but everything they do to cater to that goal or set of ethics is fueled by an innate need for reckless abandon that often results in an outcome that many would call self destructive. There’s no plan in place ever; they just see something, they’re fueled by their ideals, and they charge forward with absolutely no mind for their own well-being.

They’re morally grey because of pure observation: I’ve read about a lot of morally grey characters walking around with sad or downright haunted pasts, and honestly, I love that. But I’m also really into the idea of a morally grey character that’s seen no real hardships, and had no real bad things happen to them personally, but went down a path of morally grey based on their observations of their own surroundings. For example, they’ve never been a direct victim of government corruption, but after seeing how officials treat the common citizen, or really reading a book of their world’s fine print, they decide “oh, I don’t like this,” which in turn fuels their ideals and leads them down a path that might result in not so black-and-white outcomes.

As always, go fucking write something <3

[lover-of-mine]

I just had a thought regarding the “Tim should punish Buddie fans” of it all. Because at the end of the day it’s a TV show, the thing they care most about is ratings. Tim has admitted that the show got worse and ratings got worse when he stopped writing Buddie scenes (something I’m sure ABC is very aware of). So it honestly shouldn’t matter if some Buddie fans are annoying - we represent the majority opinion, which affects the ratings. Yeah they may lose some of the gained viewers from the BT stans if they breakup but it’s nothing on the viewers they’ll lose if they force Eddie into another straight relationship and separate Buck and Eddie for separate endgames.

Okay, pure speculation here, but the show is a business as much as it is a story and a show has to deal with stuff a book or a movie don't. Since the story is not contained, they need to adapt to the circumstances in which it is airing. We know for a fact that fox was against Buck being bi and that gives us the chance to infer that they were against the buddie thing as a whole. We know this was supposed to happen during s4, we know s5 separates Buck and Eddie physically since Eddie leaves the station, so that reduces their screentime without major problems because while we were getting less casual buddie since they weren't working together, we got a lot of quality buddie during Eddie's breakdown. They continued to reduce the Buck and Eddie of it all during 6a. No one was happy about it. We were NOT happy that we were missing out on their dynamic except for a few moments that were thrown in. That so created a problem that they overcorrect that in 6b. We all knew the lightning was coming but the promo had a lot of Eddie's reaction to it, we even got a bts video of Ryan running up the ladder, the do more was the teaser scene we got, when we got recovery and mixed feelings, with recovery giving us some quality buddie, and mixed feelings giving us a lot of buddie overall. Obviously, the threat of cancellation made them shift things around, we know there were reshoots, we know they tried to wrap things up in case that was the final season, and that made them drop the ball with buddie for a second there after the cemetery, but they fixed that during s7, because there was a LOT of buddie, especially considering it was reduced season. Abc has a lot of good queer rep, they seem to like their glaad awards nominations. We obviously have no idea of why fox was blocking biBuck, and again, pure speculation, but I am willing to bet you that the buddie of it all was part of the conversation while the buy was being negotiated or at least while they were discussing the plans to integrate 911 to abc once the buy was finalized. The abc people have an outside perspective on buddie, the same way we do, and buddie is a compelling dynamic that can be a gold mine if they play their cards right. If, I, a random person on the internet with a blog and hyperfixation and nothing to gain from it, can reach the conclusion that getting buddie together can bring them a shit load of exposure, I guarantee you that someone there reached that conclusion too. I believe they sat down with the team and asked "what's the deal with Buck and Eddie? Is there a plan?" and they reached some conclusion to finally get them there because they took Ryan out of pr jail and continuously put Oliver and Ryan together leading up to the season and the Buck and Eddie talk did not stop once Buck being bi was canonically confirmed.

Logistically, if the plan was to simply make Buck bi and not make the Buck and Eddie a thing, obviously, Eddie wouldn't be involved with Buck's bi arc the way he is in the story, but they would also not involve Ryan in the promotion with Oliver like that. It's 2024, no one wants queerbaiting allegations thrown at them. We lived through the mcu, and teen wolf, and supernatural, and no one wants to be that guy. They have a compelling dynamic that's been drawing people in for years, and they could've gone the whole show with both of them being perceived as straight in universe, keep doing what they were doing, leave us in the will they/won't they, and keep our part of the audience forever because we would keep coming back waiting to see them together. Personally, I think Buck being bi was a trial run in many ways from the business side of it. Buck is extremely well liked by the audience, he is a fan favorite, so people are a lot more lenient with his shit than other characters, that means that if Buck being bi was poorly received by the general audience, they could backtrack him out of it a lot easier and just introduce another pretty girl and not go there. Male bisexual rep is also not all that common, it's usually the pretty girl best friend that you later find out had a girlfriend in college who may or may not be in love with the female lead, so it stands on its own in the conversation. And, well, Buck being bi was extremely well received. Ship war aside, there is a significant part of the new influx of people who are just as invested in the Buck and Eddie of it all even with another male love interest in the mix. And there was a huge influx of people. Somewhere in the 911 team, someone is making predictions and they are aware that Eddie being queer will have the same type of reaction. Eddie might not be as popular as Buck on his own, but with the added fact that queer Eddie means buddie is coming, they get the same boom that biBuck had. They also became the first media to do this. No superhell, no complicated feelings for a car, no going back to the past. Just a compelling relationship between two male characters that's been drawing people in since the beginning that changed into something romantic and requited. They would be the first to take the popular m/m ship that drives the internet crazy and make it happen. I know of a lot of traumatized destiel or sterek or stucky or whatever else who are waiting for Eddie to be confirmed queer to start watching the show with the whole 911 already had queer rep, Buck being bi is no guarantee they'll follow through, I don't wanna be disappointed again. Which is fair, but it is a second wave of people that could come into the show. Buck and Eddie are unheard of rep. It's a 6+ seasons queer slowburn. They are best friends, they have a kid, their devotion to each other is very clear. Abc has the chance to go full Elle Woods "what like it's hard?" to every queerbaity ship that came before buddie. Especially considering we have Oliver on record multiple times saying fox was blocking it. And that would make them so much money. So much exposure. We're talking become subjects in television history classes for the rest of times because they were the first to pull through. We're not just talking ratings, we're talking being put next to genre-defining couples in media. They are a gold mine that Oliver and Ryan are on board with, that Tim seems to be on board with and that abc clearly likes using for promotion so they at least understand the numbers they could bring, so not going there because a fraction of the fandom is being bitchy on the internet is bad business.

Season 6 gave them the perfect opening to separate Buck and Eddie but they used season 7 to bring them closer together than they've ever been. If the plan was to make them end up with other people, they had the chance to make that clear this season, and they didn't. They're not gonna throw it away like this to "punish fans". They would be punishing themselves.

[dreamwatch]

Home

Written for @steddieangstyaugust

Day #2 - Prompt: Ghosts | Word Count: 1626 | Rating: T | CW: Major Character Death, death of a parent, death of a spouse, grief | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Steddie | Tags: Angst, future fic, adult children, older Eddie | AO3

Eddie kicks at another box trying to work out if it’s light enough for him to lift on his own, or whether it’s another one over filled with unread books that he should just donate. He grunts at the weight of it; books. He’ll leave it for Ryan. 

It doesn’t seem to matter how many times he dusts or cleans these rooms, the moment a box or piece of furniture is removed, another cloud of dust seems to fill the air, settling over everything. After today it’s not really his problem anymore.

He can hear the kids giggling upstairs, so he follows the sound to the attic. They’ve accumulated so much shit over the years, it doesn’t seem to matter how many boxes they remove, the moment you turn around there’s another in it’s place; it’s like playing whack-a-mole with their own possessions.

He pushes upwards to the top of the steps and pokes his head inside the attic, letting out a dramatic “Ahem” as he does so. He watches on amused as Hope scrambles to hide something behind her back.

“I seem to remember sending you guys up here hours ago to clear this shit out. We haven’t got all day.”

Ryan gets up off the box he’s sitting on, another one marked ‘BOOKS’ in Hope’s neat handwriting. “You’re not supposed to be up here. Where’s your cane?” He holds his hand out and helps Eddie in the rest of the way.

“Yeah, well, if you were up here working like I asked you to, I wouldn’t have to be up here, would I?”

Hope makes that sorrowful face at him, the one she uses when she’s trying to wrap him around his finger.

“Sorry, Daddy,” she says.

“Yeah, yeah, turn it off, it’s not working today.”

Ryan tuts, and mutters “It always works.”

He’s not wrong.

Ryan helps him climb over the last of the trash and finds him a box to sit on. 

“What were you laughing at, anyway?”

They throw guilty looks at each other, but eventually Hope reaches behind her and pulls out a piece of shabby once-white fabric. It’s funny, the things that throw Eddie off balance. He’s got used to seeing past things, the sentimental stuff; photographs, jewellery. Like he’s trained himself to cope with it. But then he’ll get a bolt from nowhere, stupid little things that shouldn’t mean anything. Finding a bar of Steve’s favourite soap at the back of the bathroom cabinet. 

A silly hat he had to wear to work when he was a teenager.

The kids (kids, they’re nineteen and twenty-one now, Jesus Christ) look unsure, like they’ve fucked up somehow, which won’t do at all.

“So are you gonna let me see?” he asks with a smile.

Hesitantly, Hope places the old Scoops Ahoy hat on her head, and Eddie feels his heart being pierced. She’s always looked liked Steve, from the moment she was born. Now with her hair shorter, above her shoulders, it’s even more striking.

“Are you okay, Daddy? I’m sorry if—”

“Uh uh, nope. Nothing to be sorry for.” He swipes at his eyes quickly. “I love that you look so much like Poppy.” He stands awkwardly, Ryan reaching out to help him up, which he honestly hates. He’s fifty-one, he shouldn’t feel this old when he’s this young. 

“Alright, you guys good to get this stuff downstairs?”

“Yeah, Dad, I’ll get these down. Once Hopeless is done with that box.”

“Oh fuck you.”

“Hey!” he claps. “No fighting. Thirty minutes then I’m locking up. You can be in the house when I do it, if you like. The new owners can have you.”

He gingerly makes his way down the attic steps, leaving his kids to their arguing. 

Forty five minutes later, Ryan and Hope drop the last of the contents of their home into the back of the truck. It was amazing how much they had accumulated over thirty years together, and how their possessions had mushroomed once babies entered their lives. 

Eddie stands in the middle of their old den, taking it in for the last time, until he hears a knock on the door behind him. He turns around and finds Ryan looking back at him, the worry etched in his face. He’s always been such a sensitive kid, kind of like Eddie but without the hard outer shell because he never needed it. He was loved from the second he entered the world, adored and cherished at every possible moment of his life. Eddie worries sometimes that they’ve made him too soft, can’t help but worry about both of them now they’re out there on their own, making their way in the world. 

“Are you ready to go?” Ryan asks, gently. 

He’s not. Selling up was a decision made for him, between his kids and an ailing Wayne. The house was too big for him to manage on his own, according to the kids, though he thinks a tumble on the stairs was actually what made them push for him to sell up. He’s moving into a small single storey house, close to Ryan.

Wayne, though, the contrary fucker that he was, had a different take.

“All houses are haunted, Ed. Every last one of them. We just can’t always see the ghosts.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Some people can stay in a place they made special, can live in a home that was filled with life and love for so long. They can draw on it, you know. Take comfort from it. But you’re letting it consume you, son. You’re not taking from it, it’s taking from you. I’m not going to be here for too much longer—”

“Don’t.”

“Come on, kiddo. I’m eighty-five in a couple of months. Let’s not do that, okay? I’m worried about you, Ed. The kids are worried about you. It’s time to move on, Bub.”

Eddie missed him so much. It wasn’t fair to lose them both so close to one another.

A home being haunted by it’s memories, by the people that had lived there and imprinted themselves on it, never seemed like a bad thing to Eddie. It had been packed to the rafters with love and happiness. 

He doesn’t bother stopping the tears, just wipes them away so that he can see more clearly. Ryan crosses the room and hugs him tight.

“I’ll move in. If you want to stay, I’ll move back.”

God, this kid. His throat tightens, takes his voice away from him for a moment, so Eddie can only shake his head in response. He wants them to have fun after the last couple of years of hurt, go back to college and enjoy it, not be at home looking after him because he’s a lonely old man. 

They stand in their family den, squeezing each other tightly, until they hear the horn of the car sounding repeatedly.

“God, your fucking sister, so like your Pop.”

Ryan laughs and runs his fingers under Eddie’s eyes, brushing away the last of his tears. 

“You’re a good kid, you know that? Go tell your sister I’m coming, just need five minutes.”

He kisses his boy on the top of his head, the way Wayne did to him all the way into adult hood. He used to think it was embarrassing, but he longed for it the older he got, cherished those little kisses. Misses them so much now. So Ryan doesn’t escape them. He never will.

He starts in the bedrooms, Hope’s first, double checking the closets even though he knows they’re empty. Smiling at the wallpaper Steve had picked out, the sunflower design replacing the Barbie pink that had been there for years. 

Ryan’s room looks so odd without the floors covered in clothes and magazines, and pretty much everything else he owned. Steve’s voice echoes in his head. “I don’t understand why we bought you a dresser if you’re just going to throw all your shit on the floor. You’re like your goddamn father.” Eddie blows out a breath and closes the door behind him.

Their room was a sanctuary, their place of peace. They made love here; lay under the covers holding hands, cuddling, giggling. Acting like disgusting teenagers is how Robin had described it. They had, all the way to the very end.

Eddie hadn’t been able to sleep in this room for the first couple of months after Steve died. The thought that he had been lying next to him when he went, that Steve might have needed him, that Eddie might have been able to save him if he’d just been awake, ate him raw. It took a while for everything he was being told to sink in, to accept it. The years of head trauma had finally caught up with Steve. He’d had a headache that night and gone to bed early, but that wasn’t unusual for him. They could never have known. It didn’t make it any easier.

He prods the wonky floorboard outside their room, smiling as it creaks. Steve always stepped on it even though he knew it annoyed the shit out of Eddie, would come into bed laughing as Eddie swore at him. He’s missed that noise so much.

When he gets downstairs he opens the front door and sees his kids sitting in the truck, Hope on her phone, Ryan trying to hide that he’s watching Eddie. He steps out onto the porch, and takes a last look down the hallway.

“Come with me,” he whispers. “If you’re still here, come with me. Please.”

A warm breeze whips around him, blowing some loose hairs out of his face. Eddie sighs, smiling to himself before he closes the door for the last time.

I did NOT plan to write for this but I was waiting for Deadpool and Wolverine to start and this popped in my head from somewhere... go figure!

Title is from Home by Foo Fighters, which is just perfect for this song and hurts my heart everytime I listen to it.

[slytherinboysappreciation]

Best Friend - R. B. x gn!Reader

A/N: This fic is dedicated to @blackenedalley who gave me Regulus Black feels 💛 I hope this helps fuel your Reggie brain rot

Fic is unedited with no use of Y/N. Second part here

CW: Angst, avoidance, jealousy, insecurity, hurt, hugging

734 words

You were avoiding your best friend. Not exactly on purpose, but definitely not on accident either.

You just… You were a little upset.

You know it’s dumb and childish, but you just can’t help it.

You’ve been in love with Regulus Black since your second year at Hogwarts. Ever since he willingly sat next to you during that dinner and laughed at your dumb jokes.

He’s much less open or humorous now, but you still love him just the same. He’s your Reggie, your unfaltering support.

And you were his.

Until… Well…

You hadn’t meant to see them. You’d been on your way to class and had dropped your books. Honestly, that’s probably the only reason you did see them at all.

Regulus and Lily Evans, in a corner of the outside courtyard, conversing animatedly.

You’d left your books to watch for a moment, warmth filling your chest. You’d been encouraging Regulus to open up and find more friends for a while now.

All was fine, and you were turning to leave when you heard it. The sound that changed everything.

Reggie’s laugh.

You’d whirled back to the window so fast, watching as Regulus laughs so hard he doubles over.

For the first moment, everything had been fine. And then your insecurities had dug their claws into your brain on your way to class.

Regulus almost never laughed at your jokes anymore. The most you could get out of him was a fond smile. So what had Lily said to him to get him to laugh so hard?

Did he find her funnier than you?

It shouldn’t be such a big deal, but somehow it is. It hurts a bit, knowing that a friend he just made can make him laugh harder than his best friend of almost four years.

One thing turned into another, and well… here you were. Avoiding him.

You make it all the way through dinner before he finally confronts you.

“Hey.”

You turn, his voice calling to you like nothing else. “Yeah?”

He stands there, hands clasped behind his back, a small frown on his face. “What’s going on?”

You fiddle with your hands. “What do you mean?”

“I haven’t seen you all day. Where’ve you been?”

You shuffle your feet and look down. “I’ve just been busy…”

“Doing what?”

You can’t think of a good lie in time. Regulus sighs, so full of disappointment it hurts you.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, folding his arms.

You look up at him for a moment and mumble, “Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me.” His voice is sharp but not angry.

You clasp your hands, taking a deep breath. “I… I saw you talking to Lily earlier.”

Regulus blinks. “Yes. I did. She asked to study with me and I agreed.”

You fidget uncomfortably, that sinking insecurity and jealousy rising in your chest. “Oh. Okay.”

“Why?”

“I just…” You bite your tongue, unsure how to answer. You could lie, and say you were just trying to let him have space for a new friend. Or you could tell him the truth.

Regulus steps closer, reaching out to rest a hand on your shoulder. “You just what?”

The words seems to tumble out of your mouth at his warm touch. “I just got a little jealous. You never laugh at my jokes anymore, and…”

You trail off, shame rising in your throat. It’s such a stupid reason to avoid him. “…and it just hurt.”

Regulus is silent for a moment. Then he pulls you into his arms, wrapping you in a hug.

“You’re my best friend, no matter what,” he says firmly. “Whether I laugh at your jokes or not. Lily will never replace you as my best friend.”

You hug him back and stay silent, not voicing the thoughts in your head. You’re not worried about her replacing you. You’re worried about him liking her.

But you stay quiet and just press your face to his shoulder. “Thanks, Reggie. I needed to hear that.”

He pulls back after a moment and gives you a small smile. “Now, will you stop avoiding me?”

“Yeah…” you mumble sheepishly. “I’m sorry.”

He relaxes a little and his smile warms a bit more. “I forgive you. Now, let’s go back to our dorm. I have something I want to show you.”

You nod and follow him quietly. Maybe everything will be alright. Maybe it’ll be fine.

Maybe…

[elainsgirl]

Someone said that most Elriels exist because they haven’t read the bonus chapter, which surprised me. Because theres still a ton of elriels who read the BC and still love them.

Quick story - While reading the series, I wasn’t very interested in Azriel and Elain, (probably because I was so focused on feyre and rhys, I love them so much) though I could tell there was something between them, especially when he gave her Truth-Teller. I even found myself agreeing with Feyre when she said, “Why not make them mates?”

But then, I was scrolling on ACOTAR TikTok and found out there was a bonus chapter about Azriel and Elain. I looked it up, read it, and let me tell you—I was kicking my feet and everything! I didn’t see anything bad about it. I think that’s why I didn’t know anything about “Gwynriel,” since I stopped reading after Rhys and Az finished arguing.

Then people started saying Azriel feels entitled to Elain? I’m like, what?! Where did this even come from? He was always so sweet to her throughout the books. I always thought they were a slow-burn thing, like they’d gradually develop feelings for each other. I’ve seen worse arguments, too, its crazy. How did they get that from one bonus chapter?

Like, whenever I saw scenes with Lucien and Elain, I’d always think, “That’s Azriel’s mate!” because there’s no way they aren’t mates after everything we’ve seen. Azriel was totally valid in questioning the Cauldron.

Honestly, I always thought that after this bonus chapter, the next book would focus on Azriel, Elain, and Lucien. It’s wild how much drama has started because of a bonus chapter. People take things too seriously, like just enjoy the book. No need for threats, majors, and saying messed up things to people online because of fictional characters/ships.

Hey anon 🫶 (buckle up this is long)

”most elriels exist because they haven’t read the bonus chapter” - that shouldn’t matter at all. The next main character and couple should be obvious from ACOSF itself - a bonus should not be needed to “understand” the next book. Interestingly, people who read ACOSF without the bonus come to the conclusion that elriel is endgame. Not Gwynriel. That tells you everything you need to know,

people need to remember the bonuses aren’t “known” by the entire fandom. In a hypothetical sense, if you presume Mass has 10 million readers world wide - out of that let’s say 6-7 million have read Azriel’s bonus chapter- that still leaves out a good chunk of readers. Every single reader suspects something between elriel from the books. If the next book is elriel - literally no one would be suprised. However if its Gwynriel? You have a good portion of readers in the millions that will be confused- no author would do that certainly not one that said the next character/couple was obvious.

You’re completely right, Lots of elriels love Azriels bonus chapter, we just don’t give it unnecessary significance because our ship doesn’t need the bonus. It was a nice treat that foreshadowed what was to come and the stakes at risk for elriel, gwyns power and that’s it. I know some of my elriel mutuals go back and reread the bonus often.

I agree with you in not being interested in elriel from the start - for me personally, I was rlly rooting for elucien during acomaf and then I went into acowar excited for the way Mass would handle them especially considering where they left off. I liked Elain & Lucien, whilst I didn’t care much for Az - it seemed obvious he would end up with Mor. There comes acowar and you have Feyre questioning the cauldron being wrong - finding out not all mates are right for each other (obviously that will tie in for eluciens story) and then when Feyre said, “why not make them (elriel) mates?)” I knew that was the end of Elain and Lucien. Feyre is THE main character, her observations and ponders matter so the sole fact Sjm had Feyre observe elriel constantly- how they did things for each other that they’ve never done for anyone else and then thinking negatively about Elain and Lucien (literally cringing at the thought of them) it’s obvious the direction Mass is trying to steer us readers in.

I also found out about the bonus through acotartok, so jynx. I simply didn’t care enough to read about it -and then I didn’t read the bonus out of pure pettiness. I had finished the series, knew who the next book is about, I wasn’t passionate about elriel & liked elucien enough to enjoy content about them, overall though I just wanted to move on with other books however my fyp kept on showing me ACOTAR videos and eventually I learnt about the ✨ shipwars ✨ which to 15 year old me was the most stupidest thing ever. Elriel was blatantly obvious so to see people genuinely doubting them & arguing otherwise made me realise…well to put it in a polite way, how *dim* some people act. Through these videos I learnt there was a whole ship that honest to god thought Azriel would have his book next along with Gwyn. Let me tell you anon, I was flabbergasted. Shocked. Stumped. No where in ACOSF had I noticed anything between Azriel and Gwyn, also why would Gwyn - a new character we’ve just met get a pov before THE Elain Archeron, one of the OG characters? Like if Gwyn was *that* important- wouldn’t she hVe been introduced earlier? Also I thought these books soley followed Female protagonists that would take the lead so an Az book was never in the cards for me.

Once I did learn of Azriels bonus - I still didn’t read it, as I said earlier out of pure pettiness. I found it hilarious when I’d tell gwynriels that I hadn’t read the bonus, the convos would usually go something like this,

“No elriel isn’t endgame. The shadows hide from Elain and hate her meanwhile they danced for Gwyn its clear she is Azriels mate”

“when did this happen in ACOSF?” “It happened in a bonus chapter”

“But if the shadows singing around Gwyn meant so much, wouldn’t it have been included in the book?”

“Ofc sjm wouldn’t have included it in ACOSF, she didn’t want to take the attention of Nessian!”

“but…doesn’t Sjm write Azriel and Elain blushing around each other and stuff?”

“Yeah bcs elriel will have a relationship then break up. Look, you have to read Azriel’s bonus to understand. Elriel isn’t endgame, gwynriel is”

You get the gist, however once I started making ACOTAR content I had to read the bonus to obviously understand context of things and know what im up against.

Anon, istg I can’t even begin to explain the disappointment and complete lack luster Gwyn and Azriels part was. Im not going to go into detail bcs this post is already long but honestly I was disappointed in Gwynriels for straight up lying. Till this day im still a little bitter.

When someone tells me Azriel feels entitled to Elain, I just know they’re pathetically trying to grasp at straws to make their ship and Li seem better for Elain. An entitled man doesn’t stay away, he doesn’t wait for offer & permission. You can dispute this take till you’re blue in the face but it won’t matter, when you’re in denial you don’t care about common sense. You know, I have to give it to GA/EL stans for managing to manipulate, gaslight and straight up lie to so many people, they really took hold of the narrative straight after acosf and twisted it to fit their ships and it worked so well due to elriel being majorly disliked. Let’s say, you have to eat something you really hate - but then I come along offering a “better” option, ofc you’re going to take up my offer. That’s what happened when it comes to the shipwars.

Azriel questioning the cauldron- Mirroring Feyre in acowar and it happened both times in regards to Elucien - Sjm cannot mKe it obvious that elucien are wrong mates and elriel are the correct pairing, anybody would question the cauldron In Azriel’s position- its the most sane, logical thing to do.

Same here, The next book has always been elriel, Lucien will come in when Elains bond is being explored. Then imo, I always thought Lucien would have the next novella. 4 years later and I can say im not suprised at the ship war like I once was. When you hate something- you will do anything to find a better option. But absolutely, people take this way too seriously. Anyone who is threatening real life people over made up characters love lives’ need to seek help and go outside to regenerate their brain cells. You do not need your major to understand these books. Its a little worrying you need to utilise such advance knowledge for silly little faerie romances. This is not shakespeare, or any other complex piece of literature. The foreshadowing is in your face. It’s obvious. Its cliche.

At the end of the day, we have our own preferences, foreshadowing and comprehension. It will never be deep enough to go and hurt someone’s feelings over these books or say disgusting things in hopes to rile people up.

[rashomonss]

A HUMANS WRATH

Part I

previous part

The same house, but new occupants

It was finally a peaceful night of relaxation where you could enjoy yourself. Not much was done, just a bit of self care and homework, nothing crazy was needed when indulging yourself.

Your whole day had been spent with the brothers and you were scheduled to meet the angels and Solomon tomorrow afternoon for a picnic so what better time to relax than now. You had honestly enjoyed life in the Devildom, even if it was a bit chaotic and challenging at times you had always been able to overcome things and fix unwanted problems. The brothers and even the demon prince were grateful to you for your help.

The book that sat on your bedside table then caught your interest. Picking it up you inspected it and then opened it to where you had last left off. The book was a fiction based novel about traveling to different worlds currently you were borrowing it from Satan. It was not to be confused with a cursed one that appeared the exact same. After you had your fill of reading a nice long rest was much needed. Setting your alarm for an appropriate time you plopped onto your nice comfortable bed and fell asleep quite fast.

The next morning however came quicker than you would have expected. The alarm you had set never went off strange. Thankfully it was an early enough time for you to get yourself situated. After fixing your hair and putting on an outfit you had set out, you headed for the dining room towards all the commotion.

You believed it to be the brothers fighting like usual, nothing out of the ordinary. However what was out of the ordinary was how they all went silent and stared at each other the second you stepped foot in the room. Usually when they are being loud and you pop up they drag you into the commotion however this time they silently sat down and continued eating.

Paying no attention to it you took your spot between Mammon and Satan and yawned, perhaps you really didn’t get enough sleep last night. “Good morning Mams” you said tiredly giving him a loose hug. Thankfully you had remembered to give him a hug this morning, since he had a fit yesterday about not getting one.

Mammon stiffened at your gesture and sat there red in the face staring at you as if you had three heads. “I-I uh, what’s this all of a sudden? Did I do something?” he said frantically looking back and forth at his brothers who were equally surprised at your gesture. Awkwardly you pulled off of him and gave him a confusing look, “he’s never acted like that over a hug?” you wondered to yourself.

Well no matter if Mammon didn’t want your hug Satan was always willing to give you one, so that’s just what you did. You gave Mammon a weird look and sighed. No later than a second you leaned on the blond and wrapped him in a hug, however he reacted the same as Mammon but in the end looked more confused than flustered. “Um, did you perhaps eat something you shouldn’t have MC?” Satan questioned.

What did he mean by that?You weren’t acting off in the slightest, they were given hugs every morning, no thanks to Mammon starting the tradition. Letting go of him you decided to focus on your food instead. “I haven’t eaten anything out of the ordinary recently. Beel and I went to Hell’s Kitchen yesterday but I ordered what I usually do.” You had responded while picking at your food.

“We never went to Hell’s Kitchen yesterday MC? You don’t like eating out with me, you said so yourself” Beel responded a bit confused to your previous statement.

“What?” You replied in awe shooting your head up at his previous statement. “When have I ever said that? I always enjoy eating and going out with you Beel” you were in complete shock. Where did he get that idea from? Sure sometimes you found yourself uncomfortable because you had consumed too much food, or because certain Devildom food didn’t sit well with your stomach, but never had you once told Beel you didn’t like eating with him. Just what exactly was going on?

Beel looked at you shocked as well. He and his brothers had all exchanged concerned looks across the table, each of them wondering the same thing. What was wrong with you? What happened to that hatred you had for every single one of them, that disgusted face you made when they even talked to you. The look of wanting to gag every time they even took a breath in your direction. This wasn’t the you they knew, sitting contently at the table with all of them.

If it was you, you would have finished breakfast already and complained about one of them then set off for the day. Instead you sat here confused and dazed as you ate your food. Not only that but you had touched them. If their memory serves right you had enforced a no touch rule at all costs, and if they didn’t listen you made sure to use the pacts to make them listen.

Due to the awkward atmosphere you had barely checked your phone and when you did you realized that you were going to be late. Simeon had warned you that Solomon offered to cook if you didn’t show up on time and boy were you not about to let that happen. Besides, Luke also needed your help decorating the last of the sweets.

“Crap I’m going to be late” you said to no one in particular. Looking down at your plate you had barely touched any food so you slid your plate over to Beel who gave you a surprised look. “Finish the rest of it for me will you?” At that he gave you a surprised look and nodded in agreement.

Then you turned to Mammon and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as you scrambled to get out of your chair. He on the other hand almost fell out of his chair. Next was Satan who also looked confused and slightly flustered, however unlike his brother he did a better job at hiding it. Next was Beel who then began to choke on his food after you kissed his cheek. He tried speaking only to get handed a glass of water by you which followed with a light scolding. “Don’t talk and eat Beel”

His twin was asleep when you made your way around the table, it didn’t matter though he would still get a kiss on the head. After him was Asmo who was more than ready for his kiss on the cheek, even if it surprised him. Levi on the other hand looked horrified which wasn’t totally unusual but still confused you, however in the end he got a quick kiss as well. And lastly Lucifer the head of the table who sat watching you quickly kiss each of his brothers on the cheek.

It appalled him because you had never done anything like that to them. Ever. What he didn’t expect though was to also almost get a kiss from you. “I’m alright MC, go on ahead” he said putting his hand up as you leaned down towards his cheek. You stopped and narrowed your eyes at him and then nodded. As much as he wondered what a kiss on the cheek from you would feel like, his pride wouldn’t allow him to experience such a thing.

“I’m going to be with the angels and Solomon for the day, but I should be home before dinner. Bye love you all” you had shouted before closing the front door.

As the door shut the seven demons sat there in silence. Six of them all shared the same look as they repeated your last words in their heads “love you all” was something they never thought they would hear out of your mouth.

You were also slightly confused at their behavior this morning. It was all you could think about on the walk to Purgatory Hall. They all were perfectly fine with getting all cuddly yesterday, however speaking with them today felt like walking on eggshells. A weird feeling in your gut stared to form, maybe you should just ignore it. That’ll make it go away you believed.

Each of the brothers was to blame for your morning and night routines. At breakfast one random day Mammon had insisted that you give him a hug each morning instead of giving Asmo one, which then led to an argument between him and Asmo. The twins then asked for hugs in the morning soon followed by Satan. You had included Lucifer and Levi because you knew they both would never ask for one in front of others. Thus began the morning hugs.

And again Asmo was to blame for the kisses. He insisted that you give him a kiss on the cheek each time you leave the House of Lamentation and tell him you love him so he can get through the day without seeing you. An eye roll was given at that statement however you played his games nonetheless. Then Belphie being Belphie got upset and claimed Asmo was hogging you all to himself so then he received a goodbye kiss. His twin didn’t take long to follow afterwards and so on again with everyone else. They were hopeless but you didn’t mind, well sometimes.

Over at the House of Lamentation chaos erupted, and you were the cause of it. All of the brothers had begun questioning everything they knew and looked to the oldest for advice. However Lucifer was still in the process of trying to figure out what happened. “Did someone curse them or something?’ Satan asked.

“What if they're actually plotting something? I’m scared now, I’m going to my room!” Levi shouted while scrambling to get off the table. “Levi calm down, you're going to knock over the glasses.” Lucifer said, rubbing his temples.

“What do you think Lucifer?” Asmo questioned. “Personally I don’t mind them like this, besides their lips are really soft” Asmo said smiling and rubbing where you had kissed his cheek. Lucifer decided to ignore his brother then spoke “I don’t know honestly, but they aren’t cursed that much I can tell, however that doesn't mean you should lower your guards”

“So what should we do?” Beel asked with his mouth full. “Beel swallow before you speak, you’ll choke, and as of now just play along with them, if this is a plot then we’ll find out eventually.” Each brother nodded as they had all finished their breakfast.

Seriously what was Lucifer going to do with you?

Next part

[toporecall]

AO3 or read below <3

Summary: Set immediately following the High Lords meeting in ACOWAR.

Rhys and Feyre are reeling from the somewhat disastrous and emotionally wrought meeting with the High Lords. They turn to each other for comfort and escape - Feyre leaning in to the “nice little wife” Tamlin wanted her to be (but not with Tamlin lol).

Or 3600 words of angsty smut cus I wanted the night after the High Lords meeting to go a bit differently than it did in the book.

Warnings: choking, sub/dom dynamics

---*---

“My nice little wife,” he crooned, smirking as he echoed the words I had hurled at Tamlin earlier. “Do you want to feel good?”

“Yes,” I breathed, barely audible, “please.”

The look he gave me was so heated, I could’ve sworn there was fire in his eyes. “Then go to the bed.”

---*---

“What a long, shitty, exhausting day,” I sighed, collapsing into a plush armchair dramatically.

Rhys and I were finally alone after the meeting with the High Lords. Everyone had decided to stay the night so that in the morning we could continue working on this tenuous alliance against Hybern. We’d spent some time decompressing with Azriel, Cassian, Mor, Nesta, and Helion, before everyone had split off into their rooms for the evening. It did not escape my notice that Helion’s voice was emanating from Mor’s room, along with a few more…revealing sounds. But it didn’t bother me. On the contrary, I was happy that Mor had someone to comfort or distract her after what we’d all been through today.

Now alone in our bedroom, Rhys was pacing by the window like a caged animal. 

“Are you okay? The things they said today…” I started.

“The things they said today were nothing,” he answered sternly.

“They weren’t nothing, Rhys. I’m sorry…I’m sorry those things had to get brought back up fro you. The things you did Under the Mountain.”

Rhysand continued looking out the window and sighed before speaking. “They can call me a whore as much as they want. I protected my people - our people - and I have you. That is what matters.”

“You’ll always have me,” I assured him quietly.

He turned to look at me, concern in his eyes. “And are you…all right?”

“Honestly I…I don’t know. Yes, I guess.”

Rhys crossed the room, standing before me as I sat in the armchair. He put his fingers lightly on my chin and lifted my face to look at him. Even after today, my breath stuttered in my chest at how beautiful he was. 

“Tamlin is still in love with you, you know.”

“Tamlin just wants a small obedient wife to warm his bed,” I said, my voiced filled with ire.

“Tamlin doesn’t even know how obedient you can really be, Feyre, darling.” Rhysand’s eyes sparkled and for the first time all night, a small crooked smile slid across his face. I almost couldn’t believe he was flirting with me now, after all of that, but maybe after today this is what we both needed. To feel wanted. 

Despite myself, despite the humiliation and the worry and the hundreds of problems we still had to deal with, I felt myself smile back coyly.

“No, he doesn’t. But I could play nice and obedient wife for you,” I purred.

Is it okay for us to do this here? I asked down the bond.

I think after today I need- Rhysand started but cut himself off.

Need what?

Never mind, I…today has been hard on both of us. I shouldn’t be asking for…just, never mind.

“Rhysand, what is it? Anything. Anything to make it better.” I whispered out loud.

He hesitated, clearly debating something within himself, before answering down the bond, as if the words were too much to say out loud.

I just feel so…angry, so frustrated. I want to tie you up and take what’s mine. I want to fuck you so good that everyone in this building will know I’m more than just Amarantha’s whore. I want fucking Tamlin to know what he lost.

I could feel my face heating. Hell, I could feel my whole body heating at his words. And it made sense to me. We’d been humiliated today, over and over. I wanted to give Rhys anything I could to remind him who he really is - the most powerful High Lord in Pythian. And honestly, I wanted to feel good too. I wanted to feel loved and taken care of. And, if I was being totally honest with myself, I also wanted Tamlin to be reminded who I belong to now.

The way Rhysand was looking at me almost broke my heart - so afraid of what he’d just asked of me. So sure that I would run away.

I took his hand off of my face gently and slowly, so slowly, slid out of my chair and onto my knees in front of him.

I looked up, my eyes meeting his which were full of surprise. “You told me earlier today that I bow to no one. I bow to no one but you, High Lord.” Despite my shaking hands, I smirked up at him, letting him know I’m in on the game.

He seemed genuinely taken aback and for a moment I wondered if I was making a fool of myself. But then I heard his voice through the bond, warm and full of want. Is this okay?

Yes, anything you want. I meant it.

You’ll tell me if it’s too much?

It won’t be. But yes, I’ll tell you.

“In that case,” he finally said out loud, voice gravelly and low, “I also said earlier that tonight I want you wearing that crown - only that crown.”

Within a blink, my dress was gone, leaving me in only lacy white panties with the crown atop my head. Cool air wrapped around my body, my skin breaking out in goosebumps under Rhys’s intense gaze. His eyes moved down my body slowly.

“My nice little wife,” he crooned, smirking as he echoed the words I had hurled at Tamlin earlier. “Do you want to feel good?”

“Yes,” I breathed, barely audible, “please.”

The look he gave me was so heated, I could’ve sworn there was fire in his eyes. “Then go to the bed.”

I started to stand but Rhys put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up questioningly.

“I didn’t say you could stand.”

He took a step back from me as it clicked in my mind. It should have been humiliating, crawling across the floor toward the bed at his command. After today, after being called a whore, after putting up with the things Tamlin and Beron had said to me, it should’ve been degrading to submit myself this way. But it wasn't. I crawled but I crawled with my head high, keeping my crown balanced and steady. 

When I reached the bed, I turned around to look at Rhys again, still on my knees.

“On the bed, Feyre, darling.”

I rose slowly, silently and knelt facing him at the edge of the bed, burning under his stare.

It was almost embarrassing how hard I was breathing already and he hadn’t even touched me. I was panting, anticipation a living thing in my core. I squeezed my thighs together, trying to relieve some of the pressure I’d begun to feel.

Rhysand smirked as he made his way toward me, obviously clocking the way my body was responding to this.

He stopped in front of me, his face about a foot above mine as he stood before me at the end of the bed. I let my eyes flutter closed as he ran his fingers lightly up and down my bare arms. I felt dizzy at his touch already.

He hummed to himself a little as one hand ghosted up my arm to my neck, encircling my throat. My breath hitched as he squeezed lightly.

“I think I like you like this, Feyre. All quiet and sweet and obedient just for me.” He squeezed my neck lightly again as a finger on his other hand ghosted lazily over one of my nipples, so light it was barely a touch but it sent shivers across my body. “Open your eyes and look at me, sweetheart.”

I opened my eyes, breath stuttering at the rawness of everything I was feeling.

“Do you want to be good for me, Feyre?” Rhys purred, a smug smile ghosting his lips.

“Yes,” I managed to get out. He continued stroking my nipple, his other hand not squeezing but merely resting around my throat like a collar.

“Did Tamlin ever make you feel this way? Were you ever this good and obedient for Tamlin?” My cheeks burned at the mention of his name. He was somewhere in this building, laying in his bed, probably feeling high and mighty about all of the digs and personal information he’d revealed about me today. His words echoed in my mind, Beron’s too. He whored for Amarantha for decades. Why shouldn’t you be his whore in return? 

Despite myself, despite all I knew Rhysand and I were and had with each other, I felt the beginnings of shame creep into my heart.

“No, never.” I tried to keep my head high, tried to keep my eyes from betraying my thoughts but of course Rhys didn’t miss a beat.

“Hey,” he said gently, releasing my throat and placing his hands on my shoulders, thumbs skimming back and for over my skin soothingly. I hadn’t said anything down the bond, but I could tell he knew what I’d been thinking, practically word for word. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. We have nothing to be ashamed of. They only know what they’ve seen, they don’t know who we really are.”

I knew that was true for most of them. Beron only knew what they had let him see - what he’d seen of me Under the Mountain and what I’m sure he’d heard about the role I’d played in the Court of Nightmares, perched on Rhysand’s lap as his plaything. But Tamlin did know me. He knew me and he saw the parts of me I was most afraid of.

“Just make me forget. I don’t want to think about them.” I took his hand and placed it back on my neck, fingers curling over his so that they once again circled my throat. Please, I said down the bond, I want to keep playing.

Rhysand looked torn for a moment before seeming to make a decision silently.

He squeezed my throat harder, my breath actually cutting off for a moment before he loosened his grip just enough for air to get in and out. Instantly, I felt my my mind emptying. Heat returned to my core, fast and intense.

“Is that what you want, darling? Do you need someone to remind you how good you can feel?” His voice was like a flame shooting straight through my body.

“Yes, High Lord,” I barely managed to get out.

“That’s right.” He smiled down at me smugly before leaning in and kissing me, finally. I felt myself melting at the contact, my mouth opening to him immediately. His tongue skated across mine and he kissed my deeply and possessively. I felt a hand trailing down my side, over my hip, before stopping on my thigh and squeezing hard. I whimpered into his mouth and he huffed a laugh against my lips. “Lay back, darling.”

I did as he said, inhaling deeply as he let go of my neck and I laid down on the luxurious bed, scooting myself back toward the pillows.

Rhys pulled his shirt off and climbed into the bed, undoing his belt as he moved toward me. 

“Hands up,” he commanded. 

I swallowed, raising my arms above my head and taking hold of the posts running vertical through the headboard. I thought he was going to tie my hands to the headboard with his belt, but instead he looped it around my neck, feeding the end through the buckle and pulling it tight to my neck. It wasn’t tight enough to cut off my air, but my body went taught at the sensation, the knowledge of what he could do with this.

He knelt over me, one hand holding the end of the belt, the other skimming aimlessly over my almost entirely naked body. 

He hummed under his breath. “Pretty little High Lady Feyre. All mine to play with.” 

I gasped as he suddenly pinched my right nipple. He smirked, fingers moving to my other nipple and pinching a little harder. I whimpered, my cheeks blazing red.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Feyre. I didn’t know you’d enjoy this sort of thing.”

Despite being so full of nerves I was nearly shaking, I put on a brave face and smiled flirtatiously back at him. “Well you never asked,” I said sweetly, fluttering my lashes like I was the most innocent girl in the world.

He growled, eyes flashing at my insolence. “Don’t let go of the headboard.”

He moved down my body, kneeling over my legs and pulling my panties off. He pushed my legs apart roughly, sliding my feet across the bed toward my ass so that I was spread open wide before him. 

“So fucking beautiful,” he murmured, looking down at me. Heat spread across me again in embarrassment at how exposed I was. But I could see that he meant it, could see the adoration in his eyes. Without warning, he pushed a finger inside me. I let out a strangled cry and he moved it in and out steadily. “So fucking beautiful and so fucking wet for me. Do you like all this, Feyre? Do you like being my good little wife?” All I could do was whimper back, the sensation of just that one finger already short circuiting my brain. “Do you like knowing that Tamlin is somewhere here? Probably thinking about me doing this to you right now?”

I groaned as he added a second finger. 

“Answer me, Feyre.”

“Yes,” I choked out. “Yes, yes I like it.” And I did like it. Despite my earlier shame, I liked knowing that Tamlin was here. That maybe he could hear me right now with that Fae hearing. 

Rhysand hummed again, fingers still pumping insistently. I could feel it all the way up my spine. I was losing control embarrassingly fast, back already arching as I gripped the headboard so tight my knuckles turned white.

“I don’t even mind knowing he has memories of you to keep him company. Because right now he’s probably stroking himself, all alone, wishing that he was here doing this to you.” Gods this was so fucked up and I loved every second of it. “I don’t even mind because you’re all mine, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, High Lord.” I moaned.

He growled under his breath leaning over me and licking my clit. I could feel electricity burning through me, pressure building hard and fast in my core. I heard myself let out some strangled cry I would normally be embarrassed by, especially with so many fae nearby, but in this moment all I could think about was my mate’s hands and mouth on me.

“Come for me, Feyre. I want to hear you.” He curled his fingers as they pumped insistently inside me, tongue lapping at my clit, pushing hard. I let out another strangled moan, gripping the headboard, and arching my back hard off the bed. So close, I was so close.

And then I felt Rhys’s other hand moving up my body. It found the end of the belt still looped around my neck and pulled, tightening around my throat and constricting my breathing. My head swam and stars exploded across my vision as I came hard. I moaned agonizingly as he continued fingering me, every muscle in my body tightening as my orgasm seemed endless. I felt wetness leaking from my body across the bedspread but I was too lost in the moment to feel even remotely embarrassed. 

“So good, so good, Feyre.” Rhys was murmuring, lips on my stomach has his hand started to slow. He let the belt loosen just a little so I could catch my breath for a moment.

He kissed my hip once before sitting up on his knees again.

“Hands and knees, facing me,” he ordered, pushing his pants off and tossing them to the floor.

I was shaking all over, still reeling from cumming so hard but I did as he said eagerly. I rolled over and pushed myself to my hands and my knees, turning to face him. I looked up into his eyes, full of a confusing mix of love and heat and edge.

He took the belt back into his right hand, running his left along my upper back and shoulders. In this position, his cock was right in front of me and my mouth watered at the sight. All I wanted to do was making him feel good. I loved all of this, every second because it meant that I was giving him something no one else could.

His free hand trailed over my shoulders, up my neck, fingers skating along my lips.

“Open up,” he demanded in a low voice. 

I did as I was told and something in me nearly melted as he pushed his fingers into my mouth. They tasted like me, sweet and a little salty, as he mimicked his movements from before - working his two fingers back and forth, in and out between my lips. It was hot - way hotter than I wanted to admit - and I sucked them eagerly, wanting to do anything to impress him, to keep making us both forget about this shitty day.

“Gods you are so beautiful,” he nearly groaned. He pulled his fingers from my mouth and tightened his grip on the belt. “Keep that pretty mouth open, Feyre darling.”

Using the belt as leverage, he pulled me toward him, pushing his cock between my lips now. At first just an inch or two, then back and forth, back and forth, a little deeper each time until he was buried in my throat. I gagged around him and he groaned, tightening the belt and pulling me that last impossible bit deeper onto him.

My jaw ached and I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes but I could also feel that heat igniting again inside me at the sounds he was making. He started to fuck my mouth then, one hand on the belt holding me tight to him, one on the back of my head with his fingers threaded tightly in my hair. Between the sting of my scalp where he pulled my hair and his dick hitting the back of my throat with each thrust, I couldn’t even think of another thing outside of this room.

He groaned again, “Gods, fuck, Feyre. You feel so-” he cut of with a groan, “so fucking good.” I moaned around him, luxuriating in the praise. “My good, nice little wife, aren’t you? No one else gets to have you like this. Tomorrow we’ll be at breakfast with all those other High Lords and their courts and they’ll all know what we did in here tonight. They’ll all wish it was them with their cock in your throat but they’ll know that you’re. All. Mine.” 

He pulled out of my mouth and pushed me back onto the bed roughly, pulling my legs apart again and pushing inside me. I cried out at the sudden pressure and then his mouth was on mine, tongue deep in my mouth. It was a savage kiss, all impulse and I loved every second of it. Our tongues met over and over as he began to fuck me steady and so deep. 

He leaned down and kissed my neck before sinking his teeth in just above where the belt laid on my skin, hard enough I knew it would leave a mark. I cried out but the cry of pain mixed with those of pleasure until even I couldn’t tell the difference. Every stroke was bringing me closer and closer to my mind melting. I arched my back hard off the bed as Rhys took my right leg and pushed it up, hooking my knee around his arm to open me further.

I couldn’t even control the sounds I was making anymore, moaning incoherently. He felt so good, this angle was so open and let him penetrate so deep inside me that just that feeling alone road the edge of pleasure and pain.

“Just relax, Feyre. Just relax. Open your mouth.” He was breathless above me and I did as he said. I let my body go, the last bit of tension left in me surrendering, and opened my mouth. Our tongues met again, and I nearly screamed into his mouth as one of his hands found my clit, rubbing tight circles as he fucked my deep and steady.

“Look at me, Feyre. Don’t hold back, baby, I want them to hear. Let them hear you cum for me.”

I didn’t have a choice. He pulled back and I looked in his eyes as the last wall of my sanity broke and I could feel sounds escaping my throat as I came hard. I could feel my walls squeezing tight around him, my back arching off the bed as I moaned loudly.

“Ohmygodsohmygodsohmygods,” I moaned incoherently as he pushed into me over and over, hitting the perfect spot.

Rhys groaned, his movements becoming rougher and jerkier for a few moments before I felt him cum deep inside me, stilling and squeezing my leg hard as he came. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, eyes closing for a moment. 

We caught our breath in silence before he collapsed onto the bed next to me, one hand lazily traveling over my skin.

I laughed, still panting hard and shaking all over.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, turning to face me and removing the belt from neck gently. 

“I just,” I could hardly stop laughing. “I just feel so good. And also the meeting is going to be so weird tomorrow.” 

He snorted, laughing as well despite all we’d been through that day, and lately.

“Like I said,” he started, kissing my elbow, the closest thing to him, “they’ll all wish it was them.”

---

Tagging a few of my fav feysand fic writers cus I love you guys and why not? :) (lemme know if u dont wanna be tagged tho! nbd) @separatist-apologist @tunaababee @readychilledwine @jeannineee @the-lonelybarricade @starfall-spirit

[gavi3000]

the wii incident | pablo gavi

You shouldn’t have expected anything else from him honestly, with him being as competitive as he is. You should’ve known it would’ve ended with something along the lines of this: Pablo smiling sheepishly at you from where he stands at the top of your guys’ stairs with a brand new shiner decorating his left eye.

You immediately set your book down and get up from your designated reading chair, walking towards Pablo. “What happened?” You stop before him with an impatient look upon your face and raise your hand to carefully brush his bangs out of his eyes to get a closer look at the bruise.

“So…” he begins but then stops suddenly and meets your eyes guiltily. Nothing good can come from a shifty-eyed Pablo.

“So…?” You press, grabbing his hand and leading him gently to the kitchen, to which he complies like a puppy.

“We thought Wii boxing would be fun, but I didn’t put the strap on and I accidentally socked myself in the eye...” he explains, laughing quietly as you sit him down at your kitchen island.

You nod your head and fish out a pack of frozen peas from the freezer for him. “Only you would find a way to do that.”

“Babe, it’s not my fault, I swear! Pedri didn’t wear his either.” Pablo defends himself, raising his hands in mock surrender.

“He didn’t end up with a black eye though, did he?” You reply quickly, rolling your eyes playfully and handing him the frozen pack of peas.

All he can do is nod and mumble a weak, “you’re right,” and you chuckle, playing with the hem of his shirt; your fingers often finding themselves dancing on his stomach. It felt refreshing to be with him like this; so close to him. You found yourself constantly missing him, no matter how close he was. And almost as if he can read your mind— which sometimes you swear he can— he speaks up.

“I missed you today.”

You never expect him to say things like this so out of the blue, but when he does, you always make sure to bask in it. You were glad the missing each other was mutual, because it was almost ridiculous how much you missed the smallest things. The way he smelled, the way his eyes were always on yours before yours were on his, how it felt to run your hands over his own and more. The two of you hadn’t even been apart at all, or in a weird phase or anything, you just missed him. Your Pablo.

You cuddle into him farther, cozying up between his legs and smile up at him. “I missed you too.”

He kisses the top of your head sweetly and you hum, “so did you just leave Pedri down there?”

At that, Pablo starts laughing. He nods, “he wanted to keep playing.”

“‘Course he did. Hope he learned from your mistakes and put that damn strap on.”

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 21 & final notes

warning: VERY LONG

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

He had been taken from his suite to a smaller cell and laid out on stone, his body covered by fine linen. Nineteen, thought Damen, and quiet.

the ‘and quiet’ is especially heartbreaking

When a servant had made to enter, Damen had bodily stopped him. ‘No,’ he said. ‘No one goes in.’ He had put a two-man guard on the door with those same orders, and cleared out the section—as he had done once before, at the tower. When he had been certain that Laurent had sufficient privacy, he had left to learn all he could about Charcy.

lamen hr complaint #3: preventing other people (servants) from doing their jobs.

also, i like how this again builds on what we’ve seen in previous chapters. damen knows laurent needs time alone to process and think, and he fights to give him that. and then he tries to do some helpful thinking of his own.

‘I’m not Aimeric.’

you tell him damen

‘You ever wonder what it would feel like to find out you’d spread for your brother’s killer?’ Jord looked around the small room. He looked at the place where Aimeric lay. ‘I think it would feel like this.’ Unbidden, remembered words rose up inside him. I don’t care. You’re still my slave tonight. Damen pressed his eyes closed. ‘I wasn’t Damianos last night. I was just—’

it’s all coming together!! all the things i’ve been analyzing!!

also jord seriously laurent is doing this emotional damage to himself, damen’s just along for the ride

‘Just a man?’ said Jord. ‘You think Aimeric thought that? That there were two of him? Because there weren’t. There was only ever one, and look what happened to him.’

but… i think he was conflicted, and felt split. hence the “i’m sorry jord” and killing himself. and “what happened to him” implies a passivity that is patently false. aimeric was more like damen and laurent, psychologically, than jord. who is—sorry jord—honestly just too simple to be dealing with these ridiculous people

He had put those soldiers on the door to bar the way to those men seeking Laurent out for some trivial matter, or for any matter, because when Laurent wanted to be alone, no one should suffer the consequences of interrupting him. The taller soldier addressed him. ‘Commander, no one has entered in your absence.’ Damen’s eyes passed over the doors again. ‘Good,’ he said. And he pushed the doors open.

i LOVE this moment. the subtle humor of it—��when he wants to be alone, nobody should suffer his wrath” to “i’m going in,” because damen knows he can handle laurent’s bitching and that he shouldn’t be alone for too long

...even the table was replenished, with platters of fruit and pitchers of water and of wine...

guy whose job it is to communicate with the fort’s kitchen: yeah uh, can i get a ‘sorry you were disowned, usurped, gifted a severed human head, and then like five minutes later you discovered a suicide’ fruit basket for the prince

‘Come to say goodbye?’ said Laurent.

no you fucking idiot. let yourself be loved.

‘I’m sorry. I know what Nicaise meant to you.’ ‘He was my uncle’s whore,’ said Laurent. ‘He was more than that. You thought of him as—’ ‘A brother?’ said Laurent. ‘But I do not have terribly good luck with those. I hope you are not here for a mawkish display of sentiment. I will throw you out.’

laurent is trying so hard to take back control from this person who so recently saw him in such an intimate context. refusing to believe that he could continue to show damen vulnerability, and it would make him stronger

‘Then you’ll kill them like you killed Nicaise,’ said Damen. ‘By dragging them into this endless, childish bid of yours for your uncle’s attention that you call a fight.’ ‘Get out,’ said Laurent. He had gone white. ‘Is the truth hard to hear?’ ‘I said get out.’ ‘Or do you claim you’re marching to Charcy for some other reason?’

damen calling him on his bullshit! yes!! i love the tenderness between them here, in the pain and the compassion. tenderness is both. they can’t love each other without hurting each other (because lies), they can’t hurt each other without loving each other. there is some twisted romance in understanding someone and being understood so thoroughly that you have the keys to loving and hurting each other in ways no one else can. it’s a very compelling and intimate dynamic, although i am glad that they eventually figure out how to love each other without causing each other pain.

‘You need to beat him at his own game? You want him to see you do it? At the expense of your position and the lives of your men? Are you that desperate for his attention?’ He let his eyes rake up and down Laurent’s form. ‘Well, you have it. Congratulations. You must have loved it that he was obsessed enough with you that he killed his own boy to get at you. You win.’ Laurent took a step back, an almost-swaying motion of a man in the grip of nausea. He stared at Damen, his face hollowed. ‘You don’t know anything,’ Laurent said then, in a cold, terrible voice. ‘You don’t know anything about me. Or my uncle. You’re so blind. You can’t see what’s—right in front of you.’

okay damen you’re completely off-base with that one, but at least your worst-case selection on the dialogue tree has shocked laurent into being more angry at you than at the regent. which, if that was the point… well-played, but also Watch Out

Laurent’s sudden laugh was low and mocking. ‘You want me? You’re my slave?’ He felt himself flush. ‘That’s not going to work.’

and just as expected (?) laurent turns his wrath on a new target. performing cruelty, like he always does when he’s been justifiably called out

‘You want to hear the truth about my uncle? I’ll tell you,’ said Laurent, a new light in his eyes. ‘I’ll tell you what you couldn’t stop. What you were too blind to see. You were in chains while Kastor was cutting down your royal family. Kastor and my uncle.’ He heard it, and he knew not to engage. He knew, and a part of him was aching at what Laurent was doing, even as he heard himself say, ‘What does your uncle have to do with—’

so damen is subjecting himself to this on purpose. they are so messy. but it’s going to work

‘You didn’t guess it was Kastor? You poor dumb brute. Kastor killed the King, then took the city with my uncle’s troops. And all my uncle had to do was to sit back and watch it happen.’ He thought of his father, in a sick bed ringed with physicians, his eyes and cheeks hollowed out, and the room thick with the smell of tallow and of death. He remembered his sense of powerlessness, watching his father slip away, and Kastor, so solicitous, kneeling by his father’s side. ‘Did you know about this?’ ‘Know?’ said Laurent. ‘Everyone knows. I was glad. I just wish I could have seen it happen. I wish I could have seen Damianos when Kastor’s hire-swords came for him. I would have laughed in his face. His father got exactly what he deserved, to die like the animal he was, and there was nothing any of them could do to stop it happening. Then again,’ said Laurent, ‘maybe if Theomedes had kept his cock in his wife instead of sticking it in his mistress—’ That was the last thing he said, because Damen hit him. He drove his fist into Laurent’s jaw with all the force of his weight behind it. Knuckles impacted on flesh and bone and Laurent’s head snapped sideways even as he hit the table behind him hard, sending its contents scattering. Metallic platters crashed against tile, a mess of spilt wine and strewn food. Laurent clutched the table with the arm that he’d flung out instinctively to stop his fall.

a couple things to note here:

goddamn laurent. dude.

but at least he remembered to keep up the lie in his uncontrolled spite-filled monologue

veretian heterophobia/anti-bastardry on full display

not the fruit plate…

my ex wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better

Damen was breathing hard, his hands clenched into fists. How dare you talk that way about my father. The words were on his lips. His mind pulsed and throbbed.

hey damen, remember a few chapters ago when you were thinking about how you didn’t want to be like your father? not that kind of king? interesting

Laurent pushed himself up and gave Damen a look glittering with triumph, even as he dragged the back of his right hand across his mouth, where his lips were smeared with blood.

he’s insane. amazing character. 10/10

The doors behind him opened, and Damen knew without turning around that the sound had summoned the soldiers into the room. He didn’t take his eyes off Laurent. ‘Arrest me,’ said Damen. ‘I have raised hands to the Prince.’ The soldiers hesitated. It was the just response to his actions but he was—or had been—their Captain. He had to say again, ‘Do it.’ The darker-haired soldier stepped forward and Damen felt the grip take him. Laurent set his jaw. ‘No,’ said Laurent. And then, ‘It was provoked.’ Another hesitation. It was clear that the two soldiers did not know what to make of what they had walked into. The air of violence was heavy in the room, where their Prince stood in front of a ruined table, with blood welling from his lip. ‘I said let him go.’ It was a direct order from their Prince, and this time it was obeyed.

LAMEN HR COMPLAINT #4. UNNAMED SOLDIERS. i don’t even know how to label this one. but it definitely justifies a complaint. one of my favorite lamen hr complaints in the entire series

‘No,’ he said. ‘You can’t go to Charcy. I need to convince you of that.’ Laurent’s laugh was a strange, breathless sound. ‘Didn’t you hear anything that I just said to you?’ ‘Yes,’ said Damen. ‘You tried to hurt me, and you have. I wish you would see that what you have just done to me is what your uncle is doing to you.’ He saw Laurent receive that like a man at the very ends of his endurance being given another hit. ‘Why,’ said Laurent, ‘do you—do you always—’ He stopped himself. The rise and fall of his chest was shallow.

laurent at his weakest and most vulnerable makes my heart ACHE

‘I can’t.’ It was a raw admission. ‘I can’t think.’ The words were torn out of him. Wide-eyed in the silence, Laurent said them again in a different voice, his blue eyes dark with the exposure of the truth. ‘I can’t think.’ ‘I know,’ said Damen. He said it softly. There was more than one admission in Laurent’s words. He knew that too.

this made me tear up the first time i read it. laurent’s reaction here comes scarily close to some personal stuff for me, except i didn’t have anyone to say “i know” and comfort me. i’m glad laurent isn’t alone. it’s a little self-indulgent to imagine that someone could be loved like this in real life, but at least it happens on the page. and it took a real person to write it happening on the page—it didn’t just show up there on its own. that matters, and it’s part of why i find gratification in engaging intellectually and emotionally with fiction.

‘Don’t go,’ said Laurent, quietly. ‘I’m just clearing my head. I already told my escort I wouldn’t need them until morning,’ said Damen. And there was another awful silence, as Damen realised what Laurent was asking him. ‘No. I don’t mean—forever—just—’ Laurent broke off. ‘Three days.’ Laurent said it as though producing from the depths the answer to a painstakingly weighed question. ‘I can do this alone. I know I can. It’s only that right now I can’t seem to . . . think, and I can’t . . . trust anyone else to stand up to me when I’m . . . like this. If you could give me three days, I—’ He forcibly cut himself off. ‘I’ll stay,’ said Damen. ‘You know I’ll stay for as long as you—’ ‘Don’t,’ said Laurent. ‘Don’t lie to me. Not you.’ ‘I’ll stay,’ said Damen. ‘Three days. After that, I ride south.’

laurent not wanting damen to promise anything more than three days is so painful to read, but it also rings true. laurent knows he couldn’t stand to see that promise broken (“not you”), and he also knows that he can’t keep his lie from damen forever. laurent probably even thinks, despite everything between them, that damen might not even want him after he figures it out. but he needs him here now, in order to survive this and clear his head. so three more days.

damen agreeing to ride south in three days is a mercy, and i think also probably a lie. but he knows it’s what laurent wants and needs to hear, and that laurent is incredibly vulnerable at the moment. damen gives him what he (laurent) thinks he needs (damen leaving), while also giving him what he actually needs (damen staying), for three days at least.

Laurent nodded. After a moment, Damen came back to rest against the table beside Laurent. He watched Laurent find his way back to himself. Eventually, Laurent began to talk, the words precise and quite steady. ‘You’re right. I killed Nicaise when I left it half done. I should have either stayed away from him, or broken his faith in my uncle. I didn’t plan it out, I left it to chance. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking about him like that. I just . . . I just liked him.’ Underneath the cold, analytical words, there was also something bewildered.

really good depiction of someone coming back from a panic attack/breakdown. again, it hits. the “coming back to himself,” the way he slides back into steady precise assessment of the situation… yeah

It was awful. ‘I should never have—said that. Nicaise made a choice. He spoke up for you because you were his friend, and that is not something you should regret.’

oh this whole thing kind of foreshadows how laurent sacrifices himself for damen in book 3, huh? he does the exact opposite of what damen is telling him here, except instead of nicaise making a choice it's damen. damen makes the choice to care about laurent, over and over again, and laurent can’t regret that FOR him. laurent shouldn’t feel like he needs to free damen of his burden of caring, or protect damen from the consequences of his own attachment. but laurent is going to try to do exactly that, in book 3, especially with his “failure” of nicaise in mind. and he’s kind of doing it now, too, by insisting that damen can’t stay with him after charcy.

laurent shows love by caring for others in the ways he knows how to care for himself. it’s a silly parallel to make, but it’s like how he brought damen a towel after the sex scene, even though damen didn’t have the urge to be clean that laurent so pressingly experienced. laurent knows how to suffer alone and how to strategically use his abilities to survive. he channels this experience to serve the people and causes he loves, even if the gesture is misunderstood or it's done at his own expense.

back to book 3: damen attacks the regent in laurent's honor. laurent submits himself to the regent's retaliation in his place. not only because he loves damen and wants to protect him, but also because he blames himself for getting damen into the situation at all. because he allowed himself to be loved by damen, damen was in danger. laurent regrets that on damen's behalf and tries to suffer the consequences instead. something he hadn't thought to do, or been able to do, for nicaise.

laurent does have a bleeding heart—so much so, that he can’t possibly wear it on his sleeve. he believes that he can't help anyone, can't maintain precious stability, if he has made himself vulnerable to love and harm alike. what he does best is survive, use others, and allow himself to be used. his hypervigilance ensures that this is all under his own careful control, even when it appears otherwise. because when laurent loses control, he gets hurt and hurts others. see the regent taking advantage of him after auguste's death for an example of the former, and aimeric's suicide for an example of the latter.

laurent has a private and complicated code of ethics and honor, based on compassion for the disempowered and a thirst for justice. his apparent ruthless pragmatism is part performance, part necessary adaptation, and part realistic means of reaching those idealistic ends. as a disempowered victim of repeated injustices, he is sensitive in a way a person with different experiences might not be. sometimes that means he lashes out, like with aimeric. but in his best moments, it means that he fights and cares with unmatched fierceness. and with someone like damen at his side, and an eventual peaceful life in which he can reflect, laurent can grow to harness that passion without hurting others or himself in the process.

(my note-taking drifted away from text analysis here, and turned into a more personal meditation on real life and fiction. honestly i'd recommend revisiting the original quote to remember what the hell i'm even talking about. please skip to the next quote if you're not interested.)

i don't know if people like damen really exist, or if people like damen even should exist. after all, he puts up with a lot, way more than would be considered healthy or safe by modern standards or even canon standards. maybe damen's existence as a character is purely wish fulfillment for people who relate to laurent. it's probably unreasonable to expect to be loved by someone so patient and devoted. the reality is, while the kernels of what make this ship resonant and desirable may be found in a real relationship, no real relationship will be quite as resonant or desirable as an intentionally-written work of fiction.

the following sentiment is the most personal i intend to get in these notes. it's not super related to the book and it isn't necessarily relevant to anyone but me. but it does create a smoother transition to the next paragraph, so i'll keep it in.

i haven’t had the privilege of experiencing romantic love that hasn’t hurt. and while love and hurt come hand-in-hand, i have historically been offered very little comfort or consideration by people i have trusted with the most vulnerable parts of myself. which means that i am very well-practiced in caring for myself, alone.

i don't know if damens are real, and i don't want to count on it. i'll care for me instead, because i believe that i'm worth caring for.

i think that firm belief, that i am worth caring for, has a lot to do with the way i interact with stories. that's the reason why i find analyzing resonant fiction like capri so personally gratifying. even though the characters aren't real, the fact that their stories have been told at all makes me feel less alone. because someone had to care enough about it, about them, to bother to write it all down. real stories have this effect too, if resonant—history or poetry or memoir, the same principle still applies.

through analyzing the stories that i care so deeply about, i am tricked into believing that i owe myself the same compassion and consideration that i show the people within them. because if i relate to a character, and i want them to be happy and loved, then that must mean that i want me to be happy and loved too. and beyond projection, i get to learn things about people who aren't like me at all, and countless worlds outside my own. in that respect, thinking about stories helps me strengthen my own moral code and widen my perspective. and honestly, more than anything else, it just feels good to do something with it all.

... which is why i am doing this, for free, for hours, for fun.

‘He spoke up for me because he didn’t think my uncle would hurt him. None of them do. They think he loves them. It has the outward semblance of love. At first. But it isn’t love. It’s . . . fetish. It doesn’t outlast adolescence. The boys themselves are disposable.’

something something, akielion slavery. keeping people in a permanent state of arrested development, stripping them of their ability to advocate for themselves like adults, making them into interchangeable objects who unconditionally love their position and trust their masters. but it isn’t love, nor is it fetish—it’s grooming, and it's evil. just like the regent, with every single one of his victims.

laurent knows damn well that it's far worse than just fetish. he knows it for the slaves and for the regent's young victims. but he can't verbalize it here, because that would mean admitting (privately, implied) that evil has been done to himself as well.

i don’t think laurent views himself as innocent in the same way he viewed nicaise, or the other victims, or the akielion slaves. his desire for justice is not on his own behalf, and it never really has been. in various instances, it’s been about justice for auguste, damen, jord, and nicaise… but never for laurent himself. to laurent, it’s evil when the regent hurts all of the other boys—but when it was him, it was only fetish. and laurent understands that to the regent, with any of his victims, it is only fetish. not love or evil. even though the regent's boys believe it's love, even though laurent can rationally recognize that it's evil, it doesn't matter when the regent is still in power. and on a personal level, regarding his own experiences with his uncle, some part of laurent is still groomed into thinking he specifically deserves abuse.

Damen knew better than to reach out, or to try to touch him.

i love seeing moments like these. comfort isn't one-size-fits-all.

He watched Laurent’s face, the flickering of some internal truth behind the careful lack of all expression. ‘He was on my side,’ said Laurent. ‘But in the end, the only person on his side was him.’

don’t make the same mistake, laurent, assuming that damen isn’t on your side. oh fuck he can’t hear me.

‘You liked him.’ ‘My uncle cultivated the worst in him. He still had good instincts sometimes. When children are moulded that young, it takes time to undo. I thought . . .’ Softly, ‘You thought you could help him.’

see previous analysis re: laurent, grooming, regent, etc.

It was with a shock that he felt the touch of Laurent’s fingers against the back of his wrist. He thought it a gesture of comfort, a caress, and then he realised that Laurent was shifting the fabric of his sleeve, sliding it back slightly to reveal the gold underneath, until the wrist-cuff he had asked the blacksmith to leave on was exposed between them. ‘Sentiment?’ said Laurent. ‘Something like that.’ Their eyes met and he could feel each beat of his heart. A few seconds of silence, a space that lengthened, until Laurent spoke. ‘You should give me the other.’ Damen flushed slowly, heat spreading from his chest over his skin, his heartbeats intrusive. He tried to answer in a normal voice. ‘I can’t imagine you’d wear it.’ ‘To keep. I wouldn’t wear it,’ said Laurent, ‘though I don’t believe your imagination is having any difficulty with the idea.’

foreshadowing this in book 3, except it happens in the most petty insane way possible

Damen let out a soft, unsteady breath of laughter, because he was right. For a while they sat together in comfortable silence. Laurent had mostly returned to himself, his posture more casual, his weight leaned back on his arms, watching Damen as he sometimes did. But he was a new version of himself, stripped back, youthful, a little quieter, and Damen realised he was seeing Laurent with his defences lowered—one or two of them, anyway. There was an untried, fragile feeling to the experience.

<3

‘I should not have told you in the manner I did about Kastor.’ The words were quiet. Red wine was seeping into the tiles of the floor. He heard himself ask it. ‘Did you mean what you said? That you were glad.’ ‘Yes,’ said Laurent. ‘They killed my family.’

i love that he doesn’t lie here. because yeah.

The truth was so close in this room that it seemed for a moment that he would say it, say his own name to Laurent, and the closeness of it seemed to press down on him, because they had both lost family.

honestly cannot tell if it would have made things better or worse for him to tell the truth now. guess we'll never know

Because throw Laurent together with Damianos, and either one would kill the other, or, if Damen kept his identity concealed and they somehow managed to form an alliance . . . if he helped Laurent instead of hurting him, and Laurent, out of the deep-buried sense of fairness that existed within him, helped him in turn . . . if the foundation of trust was built between them so that they might become friends, or more than friends . . . if Laurent ever decided to make use of his bed slave . . . He thought about the Regent’s suggestions to him, sly, subtle. Laurent could benefit from a steadying influence, someone close to him with his best interests at heart. A man with sound judgement, who could help guide him without being swayed. And the constant, pervasive insinuation: Have you taken my nephew? My uncle knows that when I lose control, I make mistakes. It would have given him a perverse kind of pleasure to send Aimeric to work against me, Laurent had said. How much greater the twisted pleasure to be gleaned from this?

regent thought he was being clever but he actually just preordered his own defeat

‘I’ve listened to everything that you said to me,’ Laurent was saying. ‘I’m not going to rush off to Charcy with an army. But I still want to fight. Not because my uncle threw down a challenge, but on my own terms, because this is my country. I know that together we can find a way to use Charcy to my advantage. Together we can do what we cannot do apart.’

“together we can do what we can’t do apart” THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING

also warning, i forget the details of laurent’s whole charcy plan. so there’s probably context where i’m missing it. but i’m still looking out for double meanings etc

(note from post-reading sam: yeah you're about to see me realizing and processing things in real time, just hang in there i figure it out eventually)

‘My uncle plans everything,’ said Laurent, as though reading Damen’s thoughts. ‘He plans for victory and he plans for defeat. It was you who never quite fit . . . You’ve always been outside of his schemes. For everything that my uncle and Kastor planned,’ said Laurent, as Damen felt himself grow cold, ‘they had no idea what they did when they gifted me with you.’

i love that he says this, knowing who damen is. it just makes me happy. i think laurent is already Scheming at this point, and probably weighing the ways he can blindside damen or screw him over. “together we can do things…” doesn’t necessarily mean that they can make it happen as a team. damen is a useful piece to play strategically, though, and that way of regarding him means laurent conveniently doesn’t have to think about the intimate night they just shared or the two people who just died tragically who both parallel his own experiences

In a fort full of activity, he knew himself a game piece, and was only beginning to be able to glimpse the scope of the board.

truer than you think. although UGH i wish i could remember the exact sequence, i’m not sure if laurent is scheming to screw him over yet. i kinda forget how we arrive at “hello lover” because laurent knows damen is who he is, but i don’t think he’s being dishonest with his feelings. maybe it’s just that, once the reality is undeniable, laurent feels regret and shame about loving his brother’s killer, and massively course-corrects in the opposite direction by being cruel. maybe he doesn’t want to appear weak or compromised for having engaged with the akielion prince in the way he did, so he has to pretend that it wasn’t real. also he gets tortured, which probably doesn’t help. and the plot has to keep plotting and the conflict has to keep conflicting.

did laurent see charcy coming prior to nicaise? again, i forget. but i’m keeping an eye out for it now. i think his plans are all being made last-second, but i could be wrong.

(post-reading sam again: i was wrong.)

Jord was right. He had owed Laurent the truth, and he hadn’t given it to him. And now he knew what the consequences of that choice might be. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to regret what they had done: last night had been bright in a way that resisted tarnishing. It had been right. His heart beat with the feeling that the other truth must somehow change to make it right, and he knew that it wouldn’t.

yeah ngl damen i get why you didn’t say it but if i was laurent i’d be pissed. like i wonder if laurent was waiting the whole time for damen to just Say It, and the fact that he didn’t made damen lose the moral arbitration he didn’t even know he was subject to. THAT would explain laurent’s attitude at charcy. this was a test and damen failed. and while they both should just fucking talk to each other and laurent is insane for keeping this bit going for so long, i do understand why he’d feel disappointed and betrayed by damen’s lack of honesty, especially given the other ways damen has proven himself loyal and true. so it’s easier for laurent to use him and screw him over, in a way, because he can tell himself that damen’s just been using and screwing him too.

He imagined himself nineteen again, knowing then what he knew now, and he wondered if he would have let that long-ago battle fall to the Veretians—let Auguste live. If he would have ignored his father’s call to arms altogether, and instead found his way to the Veretian tents and sought out Auguste to find some common ground. Laurent would have been thirteen but in Damen’s mind’s eye he would have found him a little older, sixteen or seventeen, old enough that Damen’s nineteen-year-old self could have begun, with all the exuberance of youth, to court him.

damen: i think i’ve changed enough as a person that if i went back in time, i’d make a different ethical choice about the life or death of another person. and that’s cool and all, but ALSO i’d get to court laurent !!!!! :D

And if he couldn’t give Laurent the truth, he could use everything else he had to give Laurent a definitive victory in the south.

i mean you still could. you very much still could. you can have a kingdom AND this, you just have to communicate with laurent. but go and do the other thing i guess.

to be fair, damen doesn’t know that laurent knows. i’m being too harsh. if laurent truly didn’t know, this would make a lot more sense. the truth would make him far too upset to fight with a clear mind, and damen understands that laurent is more likely to screw up when he loses his mind. damen wants laurent to be safe and to win, so he withholds the truth that could destroy him. to a first-time reader, it makes total sense, and it keeps the tension going. i think that’s partially why i didn’t anticipate the twist—so much of the tension hinges on something being true (laurent doesn’t know), so it made the most sense to me that something with this much attention placed on it MUST be true. but it’s perhaps even more interesting and compelling to know on a re-read that it’s not true, that laurent does know, because it gives me a lot of things to re-contextualize.

the only downside is that it’s also just incredibly frustrating, now that i’m not on board emotionally with damen and the lie that creates the tension here. that doesn’t mean the writing is bad, but the feeling i get reading it is VERY different from how i felt the first time around. oh my god is that how laurent has felt this whole time. like he’s taking part in his own love story but he can’t fully actively buy into it or participate, because he knows something that jeopardizes the love story so dramatically that he can’t call it a love story at all. oh my god.

like, damen is in a romance story. there are politics and drama and adventure, but that is main genre of his narrative. he always tends to focus on romantic aspects of a situation. and the first time we read the series, we only perceive their love story from damen’s pov. we can’t even begin to guess what’s going on with laurent, because we think he’s clueless about this big lie, and so we kind of just make do with his dialogue and damen’s observations.

but laurent isn’t just the love interest in damen’s narrative. in laurent's narrative, he is the main character of a fucking psychological thriller, and has been this whole time. king’s rising is where damen (and the reader) finally get a sense of the genre/reality laurent has been living in thus far, because the truth comes out and laurent can now make it damen’s problem. but it's always been happening, in laurent's head.

There had been a silence, until Laurent had said, ‘You were right. I haven’t been thinking about it like this.’ ‘Like what?’ said Damen. ‘Like war,’ said Laurent.

it's the game he likes. not war

Now they faced one another on the dais and words rose to Damen’s lips, personal words. But what he said was, ‘Are you sure you want to leave your enemy in charge of your fort?’

do they ever say “i love you” on the page? i seem to recall an absence of that—which i don’t exactly mind in their case, because it’s pretty obvious they love each other by the end, and so much is left between the lines with them anyway. but i do wonder if damen had the urge to say some variation of the sentiment here, before chickening out and going for a snarky comment instead

They gazed at one another. It was a public goodbye, in full view of the men. Laurent extended his hand. He did it not, as a prince might, for Damen to kneel and kiss, but as a friend. There was acknowledgement in the gesture, and as Damen took his hand, in front of the men, Laurent held his gaze. Laurent said, ‘Take care of my fort, Commander.’ In public, there was nothing he could say. He felt his grip tighten slightly. He thought of stepping forward, of taking Laurent’s head in his hands. And then he thought of what he was, and all he now knew. And he forced himself to release his grip.

foreshadowing book 3. they can’t interact with each other with the same ease, intimacy, and privacy that they had as “master” and “slave” when they’re both recognized as capable leaders in the public eye.

(they fail miserably at this, though, especially in early-to-mid book 3 after the reveal. like they really just put themselves in a lose-lose situation: they “can’t” be in love or trust each other, but they are also so obsessed with each other that what they end up doing in the public eye is ten times weirder and less convenient for everyone else than if they just made up and were in love as well as commanding an army.)

Laurent was nodding to his attendant, mounting his horse. Damen said, ‘A lot depends on timing. We have a rendezvous in two days. I—Don’t be late.’ ‘Trust me,’ said Laurent with a single bright glance, straightening his horse out with the tug of a rein in the moment before the order was called, and he and his men moved out.

okay, so here’s what’s actually going on with the war shit, because i’m determined to keep track of it this time instead of just focusing on the emotions.

laurent is riding out to fortaine, which is the fort that guion runs, and the likely source of the regent’s promised troops at nearby charcy. this is a good plan because laurent taking fortaine fucks up the regent’s plan AND it gives laurent access to the resources necessary to continue fighting.

damen, meanwhile, will literally hold down the fort here in ravenel. laurent trusts him to do this. laurent has taken most of the soldiers, leaving damen with not many men if there was to be a surprise attack here.

they have an important rendezvous set in two days’ time, although i’m unsure where exactly they’ve agreed to meet. i’m going to assume fortaine or charcy, not back here in ravenel. i think since damen says “don’t be late,” the intention is for them both to show up at charcy with their men—for damen to leave ravenel in 1.5 days after preparing the fighters as best as he can—and fight the regent’s forces with their combined army. so it makes sense that damen would say "don't be late," because if he showed up alone with his men, they'd probably get slaughtered.

SO. this is what i remember actually happening:

laurent does not, in fact, show up for the rendezvous in two days, leaving damen to handle charcy alone

instead, laurent takes fortaine and just kind of chills there. damen eventually shows up after winning charcy, leading to the "hello lover" scene

laurent explains the situation to damen as if he (laurent) intentionally stood him up, as retribution for the truth damen has been keeping from him this whole time

BUT laurent is leaving out that he ended up being kidnapped and tortured by guion before killing a man with a chair and just barely managing to take the fort. or something. and govart is there too.

so my question is, does laurent at this exact moment already mean to stand damen up? or is the "hello lover" thing a way for him to cover up the fact that he got captured and tortured and almost lost everything? both things are probably true, which would kind of prove damen's point from the end of this book: laurent makes riskier choices without his input, and there are certain risks laurent shouldn't take because his life and safety matter. but mr "probably" laurent doesn't value his own life and safety very much, especially not if there's a possibility of winning the game. if laurent doesn't allow damen to look out for him, laurent is going to endanger himself.

my guess is that it's both: laurent fully intends to stand damen up at this point, but doesn't anticipate the consequence of his own manipulative bullshit. blindsiding damen will result in laurent's torture, capture, and near-death. despite technically winning the insane mind game against the damianos in his head, laurent will still need to save face with the damen in his tent. because he knows damen was right, and he hates it.

definitely revisiting this note when i read the "hello, lover" scene to see how i did ;)

addition to the note from sam reading two pages ahead: at some point laurent has also gotten akielions involved because he knows their presence will force damen to out himself as damianos. like he’s showing his hand in a way that screws damen over but also doesn’t necessarily get him killed, and most absurdly, STILL KEEPS THE LIE THAT LAURENT DOESN’T KNOW HE’S DAMIANOS GOING, making damen even more guilty and paranoid, and a first-time reader even more compelled by the tension. it happens as the cliffhanger for this book and before charcy, so the events at charcy stay open-ended to a first-time reader.

i hope we find out eventually if laurent planned all of this after they fucked, or if it had already been set in motion before and he just committed to the bit he’d already started. would the fucking have made a difference? probably not. laurent and damen are a cat and a mouse, but laurent thinks they’re a figurative cat and mouse in a psychological thriller who intentionally torment each other, and damen thinks they’re a cat and mouse in a disney movie who fall in love despite their differences. the rare moments where they step into each other’s genres are so rewarding and impactful because they’re so rare. if it happened more often, and during every pivotal moment like this one, it wouldn’t be nearly as powerful when they finally figure out their shit. “a kingdom or this” is an interesting tagline because of the “or.” if it was “and” from the beginning of the story, there wouldn’t be a story to tell. certainly not one as well-written and unique as this. pacat really is a master of writerly restraint, and i could learn a lot from her approach to story construction.

Because it was not possible, no matter what was said, to completely trust Laurent, the morning was a thin skein of tension, drawn tight.

lmao

‘Akielons are marching on us,’ he expected the runner to say, and he did, but then he said, ‘I’m to give this to the fort Commander,’ and he was urgently pressing something into Damen’s hand. Damen stared at it. Behind him, the Akielon army was approaching. In his hand was a hard loop of metal set with a carved gemstone, the etching a starburst. He was looking at Laurent’s signet ring.

oh my god he’s such a BITCH. this has been in motion since the start, and he hasn’t stopped it even though they fell in love. laurent i’m obsessed with your mind. get help.

He remembered the night Laurent had addressed him in Akielon for the first time, remembered long nights speaking in Akielon, Laurent shoring up his vocabulary, improving his fluency, and his choice of subject matter—border geography, treaties, troop movements. He said it as it opened up inside him, ‘They are our reinforcements.’

right logical path, technically right conclusion, but you are missing the additional reveal here so bad 😭 it’s okay buddy i missed it too the first time 😭

The truth was marching towards him.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO great line. great line for people who Get It and people who don’t. the truth = damianos, yeah, but also the truth = laurent knew. but damen only means the first truth, and the cliffhanger works so well because the reader might not know the second truth either. which i think is the ideal initial experience!

The Regent had been right, people were saying: Laurent had been in league with Akielos all along. It was a strange kind of madness to realise that this, in fact, was true.

context: the regent and laurent were both in league with akielos, just different pieces of it. regent teamed up with kastor, and laurent made contact with nikandros. it makes sense, since delpha is so close to acquitart/vere (i don’t know if i spelled that right) and they share relations with vaskians

this does make nikandros' burning hatred of laurent in book 3 like exponentially funnier though

He could feel the tension of the Akielon forces too, knew they were expecting treachery. The first sword drawn, the first arrow loosed, would unleash a killing force.

so what exactly did laurent say to convince them to come? i get that he meant for them to get here and be jumpscared by their dead prince, but what was the fake reason? just like a vague call for help/solidarity? do the akielons think it’s a trap, or did they come here to attack? it must be the first thing, if the signet is being presented. god this makes my head hurt but i am determined to explore every little nook and cranny of laurent’s insane political rube goldberg machine it’s like enrichment to me

also, holy fucking shit. if laurent always knew this was going to happen, because he set it into motion a while ago, then his comments about having one more night with damen hit so much harder. not only did he know he was going to lose damen, but he also knew that he had arranged things so that damen wouldn’t even have a choice in staying. he was always going to be exposed as a prince, and returned to his former station, and separated from laurent, no matter what. laurent had initially assumed, for good reason, that damen wouldn’t ever want to stay. but throughout this book that assumption has been challenged, over and over again. but laurent couldn’t just take back the messenger by the time they were getting really close. laurent failsafed this shit from the start, so that even if he started to spiral into cognitive dissonance, reality would inevitably arrive to snap him out of it.

laurent has put himself in a hell of his own design, and unlike previous laurent purgatories, this one wasn't on purpose. the intention had been to free himself of his brother’s killer, who his uncle placed in his life as a means of tormenting him. but instead, laurent’s gambit ends up ensuring that the only living person who truly loves him has no choice but to leave.

truly putting the “L” in laurent.

final notes

damen likes blondes mentions: 6 -> 8

laurent leans: 9 -> 11

lamen hr complaints: 4

(i started an ointment joke tally in like chapter one but it never came up again so it doesn't count)

character elements to watch out for (from book 1):

laurent perspective context (knowing what i know, what sense can i make?)

laurent & nicaise

laurent coping mechanisms (pretending, delusion)

damen coping mechanisms (avoidance, distraction)

damen reconsidering the ethics of akielos

mutual moral arbitration

new for book 2:

laurent intimacy depiction

damen's relationship with his father's legacy

damen comparing his current self to himself before vere

laurent and damen are living in two entirely different genres

series themes (from book 1): 

niceness vs. goodness

submission vs. respect - “there is no honour in obedience”

suffering alone vs. fighting together

pain and humor

honor and integrity

sex, power, innocence, violence

trauma, desire, consent

new for book 2:

a kingdom or this

multifaceted tenderness