#Thought it suited his personality better based on what we’ve seen
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beans-and-shet · 1 year ago
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The war within
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ileftmysoulinnorway · 1 year ago
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We all had a tough end of the week, so I thought I would put together something about my IWTV set lurking experience in Prague, hopefully to cheer someone up and show you that the people working on our little show are incredible, everything is well thought out, and we have a lot to look forward to.
Locations
I am confident that Prague will be a good substitute for Paris. I love this post comparing Prague's Théâtre des Vampires location with a real Le Grand Guignol in Paris. But similar care is given to other locations as well.
I like to joke that I enjoyed a month-long tour of Prague's most famous landmarks, only to have the actual filming take place in nondescript alleyways right next to them. But it makes perfect sense. They want to capture the nicer and older parts of the city that suit them, but not anything that would tell you it's Prague.
Production design, costumes
I saw them build everything from scratch on several sets. And I'm in awe. From putting up posters that will probably only appear in the background of a single shot, to street names that fit the exact topography of Paris and make sense in the context of the scenes that take place on them, to storefronts that they really didn't have to pay that much attention to, or a menu at Le Dakar Café that you could only read up close, but someone took the trouble to make it anyway?
And maybe this attention to detail is normal, I don't know, but I still think Mara and her team deserve all the praise they get.
S1 showed us how much attention is paid to the costumes. I can assure you that has not changed. All the hats, coats, capes and dresses. I can't tell you how many times I've been pleasantly surprised. By the choice of colors for Lestat. By how beautifully all of Armand's black clothes come to life with little details.
People
There are so many people (and I mean SO many) working on the show and they all know exactly what is expected of them, everything runs like a well-oiled machine. I haven't seen any problems, any conflicts, any excesses.
I'm not under any illusion that everything was trouble-free, but really the only complaints I heard were about the horrendously hellish schedule (I guess that's normal) and then the occasional person wishing they had finished earlier (they never finished earlier).
They are all heroes to me.
Directors
Levan is the only one I saw. He seems so focused and professional. His "rolling...and action" is unforgettable.
Actors
After six locations and about fifteen scenes (and countless rehearsals and takes), I think I managed to get at least some idea of them, and yes, they really seem to be such nice people.
- Jacob, I don't envy him at all the emotional strain of playing Louis, but at the same time I love his portrait of Louis so much.
- Sam's transformation into Lestat is something to behold.
- Assad was the only one present on every set. I don't think we've fully realized how big a role he's going to have (at least in S2).
- Delainey, Ben, Roxane and everyone else 💜
Scenes
They were far from finished when the strike started, but at least (in my opinion) they got to the last block of episodes. 
I'm not going to pretend to have a concrete idea of what to expect from S2 based on what little I saw. But I do have a few guesses, and I'm insanely excited and thrilled. And, in the case of the 1700s flashbacks, totally confused. I can't believe they're going to do so many unexpected things, or other things so soon.
I truly believe that S2 will not disappoint any of us. We just have to wait a little longer. But if this strike means that everyone gets a better deal and the studios are forced to change their ways, it will be worth the wait.
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pnf-lover98 · 1 year ago
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Some thoughts on the Good Omens 2 trailer
As many of us may already know, an official trailer for Good Omens season 2 dropped yesterday on Youtube.
I loved loved loved the first season, and the original book it was adapted from, and I spent a fairly long time making fanarts of the show. I’ve been impatiently waiting for this second season to come out ever since it was announced, and yesterday’s trailer only fueled up my hype even further. I would like to take a moment to make some speculations about what we were shown, and about what I would want to see in this new season.
1) May I just say I really like the angel cop girl? She looks like she’s going to be a very nice character!
2) Another thing I loved was seeing Crowly dressed up as an angel, with his white suit, golden tie and the snake tattoo on his cheek turning from back to golden. Demons dressing up as angels is something we didn’t see in the first season (when Michael visited hell she was still dressed in her normal angel clothes, and the same goes the other way around for demons), and I like the fact that they can change their outfit to ‘blend in’ with the other faction.
3) Now, let’s talk about what, at least to me, was the biggest elephant in the room of the trailer: the mystery revolving around Gabriel - who, apparently, has vanished from heaven to go to Earth. That sentence of his, that ���You only know that everything would be better if you were by a particular person’s side”... Did he mean it in the sense that he’s in love with someone?! 👀 Well, based on how Aziraphale immediately thinks of him and Crowley dining together, it surely seems so! But who could Gabe ever be in love with? And what has he done to have both Heaven and Hell after him (we see the demons demanding that Azira surrender him, in one clip)? How could have Gabe manage to wrong two sides at once? What if he messed up big time by falling for someone on the wrong side?
Well, my little heart of the Ineffable Bureaucracy fan would surely hope in something of this sort!  And then we have this:
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A little purple-blueish feather, presumably falling from above. Not a white feather, nor a black one. But one of a color we’ve never seen before.
Now, I’m well aware of the fact that Gaiman once said that angels and demons can wear their wings however they want to, not necessarily white or black, but in the actual show (maybe for the sake of keeping things visually simple) Zira has them white like you would expect from an angel and Crowley black like you would expect from a demon. So coming back to this one little purple-ish feather… Does it still belong to an angel, or to a demon?
Or perhaps, it belongs to someone who is neither of the two? An entirely brand new creature, with an entirely new wing color! Now, considering that Good Omens only revolved around church figures (Adam and Eve, angels, demons, Satan…), I have a very hard time believing that this ‘entirely new creature’ will turn out to be a cryptid or a pagan mithical creature (like, say, an harpy or a winged horse). So what can it be?
What if this new creature is both an angel and a demon, being born by parents that belong to different factions?  A.k.a, to tie it to my previous theory, what if Gabe messed up big time by falling in love with the wrong person and their affair resulted in a child? 👀
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markerofthemidnight · 6 months ago
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I love your Hatchetfield fics Grayscale and Hidden Depths. Can you tell me a tidbit about both/ether of them?
AHHHHHHH I’d be happy to oblige!!!
As much as I’d like to talk about both at the moment… I hate to admit this, but I’ve really been ignoring the existence of Hidden Depths as of recent. And Greyscale, but Hidden Depths deserves attention too! So, since Chapter 6 has been held back for so long, why not share some more about the Old Lords?
HD: ULTIMATE Recap was, after all, only a very small tidbit of extra info on them. I’m also working on a piece that’ll show you all their designs- except Kindler’s, since we’ve already seen his, but I’m not even halfway through that yet. Starting to get pretty concerned with how little I’ve been doing stuff as of recent…
Well, anyways! Here’s some extra information on the Old Lords and my thought process behind making them.
Kynzol Errakt (aka Kindler)
The God of the Sun and Flames, as you know. Previously known as the God of Drought in Chapter 1, but I felt like it was pretty odd to have a god whose powers can only be defined by what they aren’t associated with.
Obviously very draconic in design, but the dragon actually isn’t his associated animal. That would go to the thorny devil: everybody’s favourite spiky little reptile that I felt best summed up what exactly I was trying to go for with Kindler, and that was before I learned that they can apparently drink water by absorbing it through their feet!
Known as the Everburning Star, Kindler is the de facto leader of the Old Lords. He carries himself with a sophisticated yet very intentionally intimidating disposition, and tends to not really think about the wellbeing of others unless it affects his.
It’s fairly obvious from his behaviour that he has a pretty big god complex (ironic, huh?), and is incredibly stubborn in his beliefs. Not even the Old Lords would ever dare speak out against him: the only reason why they’re so comfortable with his presence is because they’ve spent 5,000 years with him.
You may be wondering why I chose this specific personality when it’s not very different from Wiggly’s. Well… that’s because Kindler was pretty much just based on my perception of what Wiggly’s predecessor probably would’ve acted like, which slowly developed into the dragon we know today.
The main difference between them, I’d say, is that Wiggly is only partly scary (hence why so many people are in love with him), whereas Kindler is actually genuinely scary and villainous. It’s like the difference between any normal Disney villain and Emperor Belos from The Owl House.
Trypnarash (aka Thrasher)
The God of Noise, associated with a bat for fairly obvious reasons. Rather fittingly, also as blind as a bat. For some reason he switches between having an Australian or a Cockney accent depending on whichever one I think would be better suited to what he’s saying.
Known as the Beastly Cacophony, Thrasher is… loud. Very loud. Strangely enough, he’s actually surprisingly chill: he’s pretty much fine with anything as long as it’s entertaining.
However, it’s important to keep in mind that this still doesn’t make him a good person. He’s evil just like the rest of them, only in his own ways. (Not Evil from The Lego Movie 2 is a song that I associate with him quite a lot, by the way.)
Inspiring false hope so that the others can crush it, and toying with people in more personal ways, is his MO. He pretty much does whatever’s most entertaining to him at the moment: the only reason why he’s alright with Blinky not being evil is because in a few months, he’s gonna be dead for good. No point in caring about that.
Gazon Q’raktic (aka Gazer)
The Goddess of Space, associated with jellyfish since it was the first animal I thought of that felt alien enough to be associated with space. Also known as the Scholar of the Stars.
My basic concept behind her and her personality was “what if the ancient deity was a girlboss.” A stark contrast to the slowly rotting incel with ADHD that we call Tinky. Some would call her arrogant, though it’s important to keep in mind that arrogance implies misplaced confidence.
And hers is definitely not misplaced.
She is smarter than you. Much, much smarter. Gazer has peered into the distant voids of space, and understands the universe in a way no one else can. She knows how the Big Bang happened, she knows about the existence of extraterrestrial life, and the answers to many more unanswered questions about the universe. How does she know? Simple: she figured it out. HERSELF.
She has an IQ of at least 2,000. And she is cursed with knowledge no one else can ever bear: because no one, not even any of her fellow Old Lords, is intelligent enough to understand it.
Kindler is arrogant to the point of being delusional. Gazer is… probably the only one out of those five who actually has her head on straight.
Honestly, she’s also probably the closest to being a good person, as well? Whenever she plays with mortals, it’s usually some kind of simple challenge with fair enough rules, which only gets violent if those rules are broken.
Retonydunfir (aka Rattler)
The God of Decay, associated with vultures. The name Rattler comes from the bones all over his body. Known as the Harbinger of Decay.
Rattler is… you know how I just said Gazer’s probably the only sane one there? He’s close to being sane. Not quite there yet, though.
His base personality is best described as the archetypical cranky grandfather who says the most appalling and racist things as if he’s just talking about the weather. Except Rattler is more intimidating than that.
He works slightly differently to the other Lords in that his powers are fueled. When something somewhere in the universe dies or decays- no matter how great or small- he gains power.
He is obsessed with what he calls the “art” of decay. Partly because it fuels his powers, but mainly because he’s just, for lack of a better term, a nightmare fetishist.
This stretches not only to physical decay, but mental decay as well. Unlike Nibbly, he’s very patient, and prefers to make people suffer through slow torment that steadily gets worse as it continues, rather than just… eating them.
Definitely not someone you want to have on your bad side… or your good side, as he’s known to subject some of his own followers to similar things once they die. What they endured his room (and, to this day, continue to endure in Nibbly’s room) can only be described as a really big, really long retelling of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.
Stinturmor (aka Stinger)
The Goddess of War and Discord, and probably my favourite out of the old Lords in Black? Her associated animal is an ant, because ants go to war with each other all the time. She’s known as the Gyne General (a gyne being the primary reproductive female in a system of insects, i.e. an ant queen).
She has two forms in total. The first and more commonly seen one is a small cartoony blue ant. The second… I can’t talk about what the second one looks like.
She’s also the first of the Old Lords to have her room fully designed. It’s a medieval castle on a hill (🎶 AS THE STORY GOES 🎶), mainly either royal blue or baby blue in colour.
She likes ponies, drinking tea with honey, and drawing her favourite mortals all being horrifically tortured whilst laying on her little princess bed with her feet kicking in the air like a toddler.
…Yeah.
So the main inspiration for Stinger, as well as my headcanon voice for her, was The Ghost of Christmas Present from Scrooged. If you’ve watched that, I’m sure you’ll know exactly what Stinger’s going to be like in the story, specifically when talking to Pokey.
The reason why that specifically is her personality is because, if Pokey represents peace and harmony, she represents war and discord. Dissonance, conflict, contrasting elements between characters.
So naturally, my only option with her was to play up the general vibe of the canon LiB, giving her two sides: the first being this cutesy little whimsical creature who talks like she’s from Oz, and the second being a horrible nightmare that’ll torture you for days on end, kill you as soon as she gets bored, and then resurrect you as soon as she gets bored of all her other favourite playthings.
She also has the ability to summon any weapon at will. And I do mean any weapon, even ones that she shouldn’t feasibly be able to wield. She prefers ones from the Dark Ages or beforehand, but unfortunately for you, our dearest Stinger doesn’t exactly believe in consistency.
For this very reason, I am very much looking forward to writing a scene in Hidden Depths where she just nonchalantly whips out a grenade launcher.
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gremoria411 · 1 year ago
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The poor decisions don’t stop, since I decided to start Gundam Ibo Urdr Hunt while watching 0079. (Though realistically, it seems I’ll just end up putting 0079 on the back burner for a bit). This was motivated by Four Factors:
The announcement that they’re actually going to do something with the series going forward (I’m *hoping* for a full series or compilation movie, but I can’t guess at how practical that’d be, since I don’t know what the series is like yet). Regardless, I felt I should at least watch the series so I have an opinion on it. EDIT: I’m betting a compilation movie, there’s a lot of reused animation, and a lot of the parts lacking animation are conversations.
I already bought the model kits of both the Marchosias and the Asmoday purely on the strength of their designs, and I kinda want to decide if the Hajiroboshi or Cyclase’s Schwalbe Graze are similarly worthwhile (I’m slowly coming around to the Graze), since now’s probably the best time to go for them.
I kinda really want to know what’s going on with Cyclase Mayer. I really liked Mcgillis, and so I’m interested in seeing what a similarly designed character is going to be like in Post Disaster (plus, he’s a serious-faced man in a business suit, so he’s probably going to be fun to watch just from a broader perspective, given what characters in this universe typically have to deal with).
I haven’t actually been that excited about it, which annoys me. Maybe I didn’t see much hype, maybe it’s too close to Witch from Mercury/ the SEED Movie, or maybe I’d just gotten a little too settled in Post Disaster
Also, I just watched the opening for the first time and feel like I should jot something down;
Do each of the rings come with a maid? And Cyclase has two of them? Is he just trying to put a maid household together by collecting all the rings?….…….is this a Gundam harem anime? (I mean I know they’ve been trying to diversify lately, but still….)
Obviously it isn’t, but the thought did briefly cross my mind as I watched the opening.
*the following contains spoilers for the first four episodes of Gundam Ibo: Urdr Hunt*
I’ve watched the first four episodes, as of writing, so I’m just going to jot down a few thoughts;
I like how each of the maids is shown to be different in personality. Berose’s so obviously unhappy with her posting and Parstai actively manipulates things to get a better owner for the Urdr hunt ring (granted it didn’t take much). And then Korunaru’s just cheery by comparison.
I kinda expected the Zan Brothers to be a comedy side-act - a duo of bumblers pursuing the Urdr hunt, based on their aesthetics (very flashy). As such, Rome murdering a human debris for failure and Aiko barely concealing his hostility toward his idiot brother were both very surprising, and a welcome addition.
I didn’t expect I’d like Range’s suit, the Enzo, as much as I did. It feels like someone took the Hexa Frame used by the Hugo and made an actually solid mobile suit out of it - Range loses because he’s outclassed, not because the design is lacking in any particular way. It’s balanced, well armed and has a neat aesthetic. Good job guys.
Similarly, I really like the design of the Monkey Rodi’s. So sleek.
Alright, so I’m assuming the Chairman of the Board for the Omden Colony Company is Torrado Omden? Regardless, absolute peak character design. Man looks like an overgrown toddler and I hate him for it. It really sells him throwing away resources and lives on this thing as…… sorta casually despicable? Like it’s a bad financial quarter?
Overall, I’m really enjoying it. But I do have two criticisms I want to note at this juncture. Though I’m reasonably certain that it gets addressed later, Wistario Afram (is it Afram or Afam? I think it’s Afam, but Afram just rolls off the tongue better) is just kind of the least interesting of the Urdr Hunt participants we’ve seen so far. Like, he wants to use the money to rebuild the Venus Colony into a major tourist attraction. That’s a solid, achievable goal, and the way he talks and acts makes me feel like it’s less about “can he do it” and more about “how will he do it”. I don’t mind that angle, but it’s very different from everyone else around him. Range is trapped working for a company that will cut him off for any perceived failure, and he’s grappling with the fact that it’s not the solution he thought it would be and that he’s got more in common with Afam than his employers. It’s a good angle, as he slowly re-examines what his place in the world, and the crushing pressure exerted by both the Colony Company - a very powerful organisation, as evidenced by the fact that they consider the grand prize of Urdr hunt to be pocket change; and that exerted by the Hajiroboshi itself, a Gundam from the Calamity War. Meanwhile, 598 is enamoured with the idea of becoming like Tekkadan, showing the far-reaching influence they have, however, he’s forced to re-evaluate his own actions and who they’re truly for - in doing so, he can realise who his enemies are and actually take steps to free himself from their control, and from there take’s the first step to becoming like his idols in Tekkadan. They’re both very compelling characters, and it’s just unfortunate that Wistario can’t seem to eclipse that. It could be that we were just told how bad the situation is in Venus, rather than shown - a few shots of the prison’s might have helped, or showing how they affect the populace.
That said, now that I come to write this all down, both of their origins are somewhat similar to Tekkadan (598’s for obvious reasons) - it’s possible that I’m only rating them as highly as I am due to the familiar elements. With that in mind, it is possible that Wistario may offer a fresher perspective on the world of Post Disaster.
My second criticism is one I’ve mention before, regarding Noisy Fairy; Don’t call someone “character A” it’s stupid, because the message it sends to me is “this person isn’t worth caring about”. If a character is worth caring about, they’re always called “mysterious girl” or “???”, so “Girl B”, “Mercenary A” and “Board Member C” are just worthless. Does it cost more to give them names? Do named characters denote different rates for their voice actors or something? It’s just really immersion-breaking, because it creates the sense that named characters are the only ones that matter.
(Also Radonitsa Colony being essentially a prison colony is great, because it roughly parallels the real- life British Empire’s treatment of Australia, though granted without any natives).
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mindyabusines · 2 years ago
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so have i ever seen The Social Network all the way through? definitely not. Am i still 1000% sure that The Alcott by The National (feat. Taylor Swift) is THE markwardo anthem?? Absolutely.
This is obviously about fanon markwardo based on what i’ve read in fics so the characterization may not be 100% spot on
ANYWAY
I view the male singer as Mark and tswizzle’s part as Eduardo and the song is them seeing each other again at some shareholders meeting or another
“and the last thing you wanted, was the first thing i do”
Mark seemingly put no thought into totally undercutting Eduardo and essentially booting him out of what was rightfully his. It was what he viewed as necessary so he did it without considering his best friend. And this decision was unlimitedly devastating to Eduardo.
“I tell you my problems you tell me the truth”
the idea of even after all this time, and Eduardo still not forgiving Mark for choosing what he viewed as what was best for the company over him, he’d still sit there and listen to Mark talk about his problems. i can not
“how many times will i do this and you’ll still believe?”
Eduardo has seen Mark doing shitty, insensitive and reckless things to people practically the entire they’ve been friends. But every time he’d still continue to stay with Mark because he believed that he was someone worth staying for. Mark wondering through the song if there’s anything he could do to stop Eduardo from believing in him
“tell me, which side are you on, dear?”
So now we’ve hit Eduardo’s part. Eduardo staring at Mark at the party after the ambush hoping Mark will somehow tell him it was all a mistake. That he hasn’t really done what Eduardo knows he has. He thought Mark was on his side. now he’s wondering if he’s really been fighting with Sean against Wardo the whole time. Does Mark also believe that Wardo doesn’t have a right to be a co-founder of Facebook?
“give me some tips to forget you”
Eduardo after the deposition. Still stuck on Mark and what happened. Building a new life for himself while grieving his old one
“have I become one of your problems?”
Wardo picturing Mark being as nonchalant about his law suit as he was about the twins and theirs. Thinking that to Mark he’s nothing but a situation that needs to be handled now after all that time working together as best friends and also privately being in love with each other
“could it be easy this once?”
Hoping this is the one time Mark will allow someone else to win. Just let it be easy this one time. Let me go this one time. Mark digging in his heels because he knows that as soon as this is over he won’t be seeing Wardo again, maybe ever. And he can’t face that and he’s willing to fight for it, even if it means fighting Wardo. Their relationship is done after this, he knows, so he needs to drag this out. But Wardo is so tired that he just wants this to be over.
“everything that’s mine is a landmine”
They spent so long in each others pockets sharing everything including the company, that practically everything they each have was shared at one point. Their few friends wondering why Wardo is keeping things that look like old garbage lying around, Wardo lying to himself that it’s not because that sweater with too many holes in it was stolen by Mark for a year and it still kinda smells like him. Not knowing Mark does the same thing with his things
“did my love aid and abet you?”
Did Wardo loving Mark and standing by him despite his shitty behaviour allow Mark to stay this arrogant immature asshole instead of growing into a better person? Did my relentless love of you make it so you felt allowed to stay the worst version of yourself instead of growing into something better?
“i tell you that i think i’m falling back in love with you.”
And now we’re back to them seeing each other years after the deposition where they’ve both had time to focus on themselves instead of each other. They’ve been emailing. Slowly working through things without admitting to each other why it really stung so bad for them both (as my sister once said, THEY’RE IN LOVE BABYE) and they’re realizing that even after everything and the ways they’ve both changed over time, the love is still there. but not as toxic. not as terrifying. just there like anything else
“and i’ll ruin it all over, like i always do”
Mark knowing that he doesn’t want anyone else. and if he ruins it again this time, he might not be able to go back. this second chance might be his last one. grateful and terrifying.
“why don’t you rain on my parade”
Wardo under no allusions that Mark as a person is suddenly flawless now. that he won’t ever be insensitive or closed off again. that he won’t continue to make Facebook a priority. but if he’s willing to make Wardo a priority just as much, then he knows they can make it work. Cause Wardo doesn’t want anyone else either.
“cause i love this curse on our house”
They’re never going to be a common couple. too much has happened for that. but they love each other and they’re both willing to try. so instead of being bitter for what it’s not, love it for what it is.
THIS WAS WAY TOO LONG IM SORRY but reblog or like if you think i’m on to something 🤷🏻‍♀️
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stagefoureddiediaz · 3 years ago
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Promo Eddie - costume analysis
My costume mind is spinning and spiralling out of control! no costumes to analyse for an age and then they drop a promo with some non uniformed goodness and I go feral - as in write a n epically long costume meta based on 5 seconds of footage! 
There might only be a couple of teeny tiny moments, but they’re good! another is so much grey and beige going on - like soooooo much!! I’m putting it under the cut because she got looooong!!
Eddie in the dark
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It’s really hard to tell you much about this, other than the fact that he’s wearing black and black has so many connotations with depression (think black dog etc etc) the black t-shirt with the grey bedding the stark cool lighting which is all shades of grey and black and darkness. It’s all deliberate and its all screaming depression nightmare - its darkest before the dawn etc etc. Having experienced plenty of them myself, I know they’re not fun, however I look back now and I know how important they were to my healing - the unconscious and semi conscious mind show you your truths and fears and its only when you spend the time to understand them and accept them that you can progress and that is what that one second clip is giving me! 
Can I also point out that Buck was in a black tee with grey bedding when Eddie came to pull him from his depression in 3x01...
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Frank!!
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Firstly - Franks office - it is stark and barren and we’ve lost the big leafy foliage from Eddies S3 visit to Frank, however much of the rest of it is the same (or very similar) the big grey painting is the same, we now have more files (there’s more to unpack and sort though metaphor anyone!)  and the lighting is different - the lighting was warm toned in s3, now it is very much cool toned (much like we’ve seen at key moments elsewhere in s5!) which makes everything look bare - empty. (I super lightened the picture above so I could see Eddies costume more clearly but it doesn’t change the fundamentals of how Franks office is lit)
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Franks clothing is an interesting one - he is screaming vet to me (i’ll come back to this in a minute) the green/grey/brown trousers, the beige cardigan, the layering, the pale grey/blue jumper, the CHECK shirt (also in beige tones) the beige and grey of his office, again with the cool white lighting. He is the very definition of neutrality and safety - both in person and his space. that Eddie has chosen to go back to seeing Frank, rather than find a new therapist supports this - it shows that frank is a safe space for Eddie to explore his trauma and deamons and shows that maybe Eddie clicked with him better than he thought back in S3!
the olive green/grey/brown trousers - they’re smart suit trousers, but they have undertones of military about them (the fact that he’ resting his hand on them is drawing my eye to them!) in fact they’re pretty much the colour known as olive drab - a colour used in American WWII and Vietnam war army uniforms, 
Drab as a term originally meant natural undyed cloth made from wool, it is a dull light brown colour but over time its meaning conflated to dull, lifeless or monotonous as a descriptive term more generally. Sorry - got side tracked by word etymology! Olive drab is more on the brown side of the spectrum than green and so general brown meanings apply - namely, stability, approachability, reliability, honesty and wisdom- all things you definitely want from a therapist!
then we have the greys and beiges 
the grey/blue v-neck jumper - so a combination of the two colour meanings - neutrality, detached, calming and trustworthy - security
the beige cardigan - bulky and protective with a rolled collar - beige is a colour of comfort, it is neutral and plain, it is meant to be soothing and relaxing, whilst being warm - a combination colour of yellow brown and grey - so while it is considered a boring or ‘non colour’, the shade of Franks cardigan steers more towards the yellow end of the spectrum and away from the grey making it more lively and warm and pushing it in line with my favourite colour meaning - yes that yellow of communication. And what is a therapist if not for communication!
and lastly - the check shirt - In my check theory the check is usually worn by the person who is about to experience the trouble or trauma, but here because Frank is a therapist, we need to view him as an extension of Eddie - as his psyche if you will (this also holds up with our previous Frank encounters - check suit jacket in 3x09), so the trauma/trouble is eddies, but the great thing about my theory is that all those wearing the check/plaid pattern get some form of resolution at the end of an episode or arc - we’re not generally left wondering if they’ll be ok or what happened next -we generally see them moving on or accepting what has happened to them (when they’re central to the story of the firefam and not just a random rescue)
So if we look at Frank as an extension of Eddie and combine the olive drab trousers, the check shirt, the blue grey jumper and the beige cardigan, we’re left with some hints as to Eddies psyche and what we’re going to get to see him exploring on screen - his military background (hence Franks look screaming vet at me like I mentioned earlier - Eddie is a vet ergo Franks look needing to suggest it too), the need to communicate, the resolution of his trauma as well as the concept of safety and security and what that means or looks like.
Then we have the actual Eddie in Franks office
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Man oh man - he is grey and black - and not just his clothes! I already replied to an ask from @mandzuking and said this; ‘Eddie is definitely looking depressed - the messy hair, the bags under his eyes, the off pallor to his skin (props to the make up team), the stubble, the looking utterly exhausted and drained, the slouched position that screams of a man who is going through it and somehow Ryan has managed to make his face look what I call 'depression bloated' - I look back at pictures of myself when I was at my worst and lowest and its the same bloated look on my face - hard to explain, but I've not seen Ryans 'Eddie' face look like that before, so its making me so unhinged.’
There is also his posture - when we see him in s3 in Franks office - he is sat upright - he looks alert and engaged (in a semi defensive/ combative manner) whereas now  he’s still in an open pose, but he is very much the definition of a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders!
But back to the clothes we can see his grey button down henley, grey/black denim shirt, black jeans (i think)and boots/shoes plus his watch is on display (although I can’t tell which watch it is because my image isn’t high enough quality for zoom to be any use! Eddie has been trending dark and black/grey wards - not completely, but the lighter colours have been slowly disappearing from his wardrobe and we haven’t seen him in anything light coloured since 4x12 - when the treasure hunt was coming to its end and pre sniper!
I said in an earlier post that Eddie only has his henleys buttoned up fully when he’s trying to protect himself otherwise he tends to wear at least 1 button open. the choice of a button up henley is deliberate - he doesn’t always wear them with buttons, usually when they’re trying to say something about his open-ness - so at important or key moments/scenes (think about breaking with Ana or the 118 is the family we chose - moments when he’s revealing his true thoughts/feelings.
The worn grey/black denim shirt - it’s him layering - something that s done for protection, but it also implies the concept of peeling back the layers (if we get to see more therapy sessions with Frank than just the one in the trailer, I fully expect to see both Eddie and Frank reducing the number of layers they’re wearing - especially Frank - as Eddie works through aspects of his psyche and trauma) but the choice of denim is also interesting because it has its roots in being a working mans fabric - suggesting the idea that Eddie is working - putting in the work and this ties in with the other times we’ve seen him in a denim shirt - moments when he’s putting work into something (moving away from Texas, Shannon returning, visiting Abeula in hospital - which is about him putting in the effort to put Carla in place to free up pressure on Abeula, Post tsunami Buck - there’s no one I trust more…) the fact that it is worn just adds to this - the session we’re seeing is clearly not Eddies first session with Frank this time around, so we can assume the work has been going on for at least a couple of sessions and they’re beginning to get somewhere - hence the worn look of the shirt!
the black jeans and the boots just add to the idea of Eddie being in a dark place
The interesting thing is that we can pick up a few parallels with other characters and their struggles; 
Athena in 1x02/3 when May OD’s is in a black denim shirt, worn open (she’s also wearing a watch in this scene and she doesn’t do that very often!)
Buck’s therapy session 1x02- worn and holey denim, the use of layers - Buck is discovering new things about his character, but the big holes on buck show a short term - immediate reaction type of depression - kind of like the idea of a blade cutting a hole in fabric so its an immediate damage, while the soft wearing of Eddie’s shirt shows more of a long build up - slow wearing away (pebbles on a beach becoming sand)
Maddie is the only one in layers in the therapy montage from 3x09 and she is the only one we see continue on with Frank, both Eddie and Hen are in single layers.
When Maddie goes to confront her trauma in the place it happened - she is wearing basically the same colour way as Eddie - grey turtleneck, dark grey jacket black trousers
so yes they might have only given us a few second to go feral over, but it was plenty to unhinge me more than I already was! Right I’m back off to embroider (I’m not sure i’m going to get it done before the start of 5b!) and be unhinged!
tagging; @fiona-fififi @prettyboyandthekid @moniquekatie @oneawkwardcookie @mandzuking17  @leothil​ @eddie-diass​ @reallysmartladymariecurie​ @adamsparirsh​ @theladyyavilee​ @talespinner230​ @lovecolibri​ @mistmarauder​ @diazchristopher​ @localbitcheddiediaz​ @ktinastrikesback​ @kitkatpancakestack​ @trashendence​
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xoxoavenger · 3 years ago
Text
Subtle
pairing: Peter Parker (Tom Holland) x Fem!Reader
summary: Peter is married to a secret agent... but none of the Avengers know that yet.
word count: 1179
warnings: mentions of Nazi involvement
12 Days of Christmas Masterlist
main masterlist
"Are you kidding? We were supposed to have dinner with the team tonight." Peter said as Y/N changed into her under suit. She was going on an undercover mission, so she would get the real suit on the way. It was a last minute emergency mission. Steve and Tony had found a Hydra base in Wyoming, and against their request to send a drone, SHIELD had decided to send a secret agent. The team didn't know Y/N was a secret agent, because it was obviously a secret, but Peter did, them being married and whatnot.
"I know, babe, but I can't exactly say no when the director of SHIELD tells me that I am needed on a super secret special mission." Y/N explained, and Peter sighed. He knew this, of course, but it was always a big event when everyone went to the compound to eat.
"Be careful, alright? Call me when you're done." Peter told her as she grabbed her emergency mission bag. Peter had made her put one together, it's contents being water, a couple snacks and some extra clothes just incase.
"I always do." Y/N said, kissing him before walking out the door to meet the car that would take her to a plane to Wyoming. Peter's heart raced as he watched her go. He knew that this was an easy mission, even if she couldn't tell him anything. If it were serious, the Avengers would have been called in.
That didn't make him feel any better as he got ready for dinner.
~
Peter entered the compound with ease, going straight to the kitchen to set down the salad he made. He found it odd that no one was in the kitchen, so he went to the dining room. No luck there either.
"FRIDAY, where is everyone?" Peter asked.
"In the common room." FRIDAY responded, and Peter furrowed his brows.
"What time is it?" He asked FRIDAY again.
"It is five forty-five, Mr. Parker." FRIDAY responds, and this makes Peter even more confused. The table wasn't set, and dinner was supposed to be in fifteen minutes. How were they supposed to get dinner ready in fifteen minutes? Why was everyone in the common room?
Peter walked to the common room, seeing everyone watching a movie. The movie was in first person point of view, which was weird, and it was some kind of action movie. The more Peter watched, the camera seemed to be flying, but it wasn't focusing on anyone, which was weird. And these uniforms, Peter recognized them. Had he seen this movie before?
"What happens if we find something. How do we tell Furry?" Bruce asked, and half the team sighed. Peter stood in the back, trying to figure out what was gong on.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Tony said. Peter looked to him, noticing he had some sort of control in his hands. Were they playing a video game? What were they not telling Furry?
"Do you think they sent Sharron on this mission?" Steve asked, and Sam groaned.
"Sharron is too recognizable. They sent a secret agent, not just a special agent." Sam told him. Oh, shit. They were at a Hydra base. Was that where Y/N was?
"Did you guys go to a Hydra base?" Peter asked, and everyone turned to him.
"Pete, thank God you're here. No, we're not at a Hydra base. The droid I made is." Tony said, turning his attention back to the screen.
"I thought Furry said no." Peter stepped closer, crossing his arms as he looked between everyone and the screen.
"Oh, he did." Clint told him, and Peter's head was spinning with questions.
"How is no one seeing the droid?" Peter asked.
"The droid is small. It hides in the corners of the wall and the ceiling. They'd have to be a trained SHIELD agent to spot it."
"Which means that hopefully the agent they sent won't see it." Natasha said after Tony finished speaking. Peter found an empty spot next to Wanda and took it.
"So far all we've seen is-"
"Hold on, get a closer look at the person to the left." Wanda cut Steve off. Tony zoomed in on the person as they walked down the hall. The person had (h/c) hair, and (s/c) skin, and the perfect height of his wife. Peter felt his heart drop.
"Do we know her?" Clint asked as everyone stared at the screen.
"That's Peter's wife!" Natasha yelled, and Peter looked around the room as everyone split their gaze between the screen and him.
"You married a Nazi?"
"You're wife is a Hydra agent?"
"Did you know this? Are you working for them?"
The questions never stopped, everyone yelling as they watched Y/N walk down the halls in a Hydra uniform. Peter wasn't sure if he should blow her cover, so he just looked at them all as they yelled.
"We have to tell Furry!" Bruce yelled.
"No! No! No! You can't tell Furry!" Peter yelled, standing as the stares continued.
"Peter, your woman is a Nazi. She is responsible for killing millions. We have to tell Furry." Bucky said, standing.
"No, just, not yet. You're not even supposed to be doing this, if it turns out that you're wrong, Furry will be really angry." Peter said. No one was staring at the screen anymore except Thor, who was controlling the droid now.
"I think Furry would understand after we told him some valuable information." Tony said.
"How are you still defending her?" Natasha asked, making Peter's heart sink. If Y/N didn't reveal herself through the droid, then they would never trust her again. Who knows what Fury would tell them, if he would tell them the truth about her or if they would be left in the dark.
"I cannot believe this. How did this slip our background check? We were so careful." Bruce said, and Peter looked at them all. They all loved Y/N, and he hoped this didn't change anything once they figured it out.
"We should get Furry on-"
"Guys." Thor interrupted Wanda, staring at the screen.
"Are you okay with this too? Because this is not something we-"
"The screen!" Thor pointed. Everyone looked at the screen to see Y/N taking down Hydra agents. They watched as she took them all down with ease before walking up to a computer. She typed, plugged in a flash drive, waited a couple seconds before taking it out. She unzipped half of her uniform, sliding the flash drive in as she walked toward the droid. She pulled out a badge, one that said SHIELD, and the whole team watched in silence as she smiled.
"You guys are just so subtle." She almost laughed, putting her SHIELD badge away. She zipped the uniform back up before looking back at the droid. "See you at home, Petey. Love you!" She blew a kiss at the camera before reaching up and smashing it. The screen went blank, and the Avengers were left staring at it.
"Still wanna call Furry?"
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missymurphy1985 · 3 years ago
Text
The Premiere
The Premiere of Peaky Blinders, Series 6. You've had a secret lust for your co-star for the last 10 years, would this be your last chance to finally get your way with him?
This was a request from @noctvrnalmoth
Taglist - @queenshelby @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @margoo0 @being-worthy @janelongxox
Lights flashing, cameras clicking, paparazzi calling your name left right and centre... God you hated premieres. But you plastered your game face on and gave the what they wanted like the good little actress you were. Series 6 of Peaky Blinders was premiering in Broad Street, Birmingham, appropriate as the series was based in the city - it felt right that that's where the final premiere should be.
You heard the crowd of fans behind you suddenly go wild as a car pulled up to the red carpet and the man himself stepped out of it. Your breath caught in your throat as you suddenly remembered the cameras were on you, and you quickly switched your game face back on. You couldn't hide the cheesy grin though, as Cillian Murphy stood smiling for the cameras. He made his way to the group of fans be happily signed a few autographs and took a few selfies with them. Thanking each of them for coming out, he waved and made his way over to you.
"Hey Ada," he smiled in his Brummie accent, knowing it made you laugh when he called you by your character's name.
"Tommy Shelby has arrived I see, did you leave Cillian in the hotel room?" He snaked an arm over your shoulder and you posed for more pictures together. Rumours had abounded for the last ten years of a romance behind the scenes between you, but none of them were true. You were good friends, that was all, no matter how much more you wanted.
"He was cramping my style Ada, can't have that at a premiere can we?" You giggled as he squeezed your shoulder, before reverting back to his Irish accent. "Reckon they've got enough photos, it's fucking brass knuckles out here!" He led you both into the hall where a waiter stood with a tray of champagne glasses. He took two and handed one to you. Clinking your glasses together in a toast.
"Here's to the end," he smiled, a touch of sadness in his eyes.
"It's been one hell of a ride though Cill, we've had a blast haven't we?"
"That we have y/n, that we have. Let's go cringe watching ourselves on camera, yeah?"
"Let the clenching begin!" You linked an arm with his and made your way into the auditorium together to the waiting interviewers.
Sitting on a chair each, the two of you glanced at each other and smiled. Both of you hated these promo interviews at premieres but at least you were doing this one together. Answering the questions as professionally as possible, the interviewer suddenly changed the topic to a more, personal, one.
"You must have seen the rumours flying around about the two of you in recent years?"
Cillian shrugged as you tried to hide your blush with a hand, pretending to laugh.
"There will always be rumours like that when co-stars of the opposite sex have chemistry onscreen - we've learned to let it go." Cillian always had an answer for it.
"It's a weird one though, I mean, I play his sister, you'd think the rumours would be about you and Tash, or Annabelle!" You smiled, your eyes meeting Cillian's. Did he just glance down at your cleavage?
"Tumblr has gone WILD about the two of you, fan made stories about you making out in secret onset, sneaking off together? Clear it up for us now - is there any truth to them?" The interviewer probed, hoping for some kind of sexy exclusive. Cillian's famous eyebrow raise quickly followed.
"If there was, we wouldn't admit it would we? The whole point of 'sneaking around' would mean it was a secret, wouldn't it? Be pointless to ruin the illusion now.." he smirked. The interviewer was stunned. So were you - you'd never done anything of the sort.. what was he doing? The papers would go wild with this tomorrow! You hid your face in your hands and snorted. He wasn't having the upper hand in this.
"He wouldn't stand a chance anyway." You smirked.
"Is that so y/n?" He turned to look at you. "These blue eyes didn't make you weak at the knees when we were filming? The strong jawline not having the Tommy Shelby effect?" Those blue eyes were staring you down now, you had no words. Just then the bell rang to signal the end of interviews - the premiere of the new series was about to begin in the auditorium. The interviewer was still slightly agog - what exactly had he just witnessed here?
"That was amazing wasn't it? They did an incredible job editing it all, just brilliant!" You gushed as you and Natasha left the auditorium.
"Not bad at all!! I'm gutted we won't be filming together again though y/n.." she hugged you tight. "And I'm sure Cillian will miss you too." She smirked, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh god don't you start, those rumours have been plaguing me for years!! We're just friends Tash!" She nodded, still smirking, and glanced behind you, seeing Cillian making his way over.
"I'll see you at the party, yeah?" She made her way to the casino next door where the after-party was being held.
Two strong hands clipped your waistline making you jump, nearly spilling your champagne.
"Too easy y/n," Cillian chuckled.
"Asshole," you laughed, slapping his arm playfully. He smiled and, arm over your shoulder again, he walked with you to the casino.
"I'm not staying long y/n, so I'll say it now yeah?" He ordered the two of you a drink at the bar and turned to face you. The loud music drowning out most of the noise. You couldn't hear him very well.
"What?"
"I said, I'm not staying long y/n! I need to tell you something." Louder now, bending down to talk into your ear. Your drinks arrived and you made your way to a slightly quieter corner.
"Should I be worried Cill?"
"Maybe.." your breath caught again. "See, you know those rumours? The ones about us basically fucking behind the scenes?" Your cheeks burned.
"Oh those? Um.. yeah.. what about them?" He cleared his throat, bending to whisper loudly in your ear.
"Didn't you ever wish they were true?" You pulled back. The fuck did he just say?
"What?!" You nearly dropped your drink from the sudden movement.
"Just once, didn't you ever just wonder what could've happened?" His blue eyes so dark, looking right into yours.
"Listen, I'm not asking for a relationship, god knows neither of us need that right now, but this is the last time I'm gonna get this opportunity before we part ways for good. Meet me on floor 7 in 15 minutes. Room 712. If you don't come, I'll know the answer. If you do... Well..." He squeezed your hip, downed his drink and walked away. You stood in shock for a minute, collecting your thoughts. Okay, so he was right about one thing - neither of you were interested in a relationship. This would be a one time thing, no strings attached, which suited you down to the ground.. yes you found him impossibly attractive, but you both just came out of very high profile serious relationships... Maybe a quick fling wasn't such a bad idea? Get it out your systems, move on... You downed your own drink and left the party. What room was it again....
Room 712. The door was slightly ajar. You checked your watch - 18 minutes. You knew he was a stickler for timekeeping but you couldn't resist being a little late. Without knocking, you pushed the door open to find an empty room. Shit... Being late wasn't such a good idea now... Quickly scanning the room, you saw the ensuite door emitting steam from it. He's in the shower... This could work... Opening the door you saw his outline through the shower door, rinsing his hair under the hot water. You quickly slipped your dress to the floor, along with your underwear, and slowly eased yourself into the shower with him, quietly. You snaked your hands over his firm waist and he jumped, turning to face you, wiping water and soap out of his eyes.
"Too easy, Cill." He composed himself and smiled.
"So you did come then?"
"Well, not yet, but I'm hoping you could help with that?" You smirked, and looked down to see his erection already forming.
"Wanna let me get out first?"
"Nope, no need. There's plenty of room in here..." You sank to your knees and took him into your mouth.
"Ah... Fuck me..." He gasped as you sucked him to full erection.
"Now now, Mr Murphy, we'll get to that part soon enough..." Taking him back in, your tongue swirling around the tip, teeth gently scraping the underside of his cock. Sinking his head down, and backing into the shower wall, allowing the water to cascade over your back, he watched as you expertly sucked him, groaning into his shaft and cupping his balls lightly, giving them a sharp tug now and again. He couldn't take much more and lifted you to your feet.
"I'm not finishing in your mouth y/n.. I have a much better destination for it..." He knew you were on birth control, you'd spoken about it before when you were both going through yours respective breakups. Both of you also getting your checks done after your partners had cheated on you. All clean and ready to go.
Moving you against the wall of the shower, he angled the water away slightly, pressing his lips to yours. Snaking a hand down between your legs he was impressed to find you already wet for him. Smiling against your lips, he slowly inserted a finger deep inside, causing your hips to buck against him.
"Yes... Cillian yes..." Pushing a second finger in, he tipped them up and towards him slightly, catching hold of that sweet spot inside. You jumped again.
"Too easy y/n..." You couldn't help your hips rocking against his fingers, groaning deeply as he fucked you with them, picking up the pace. Your orgasm built quickly and he felt your walls clenching, but he quickly removed them and lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, he pushed his hard length into you. Your mouth opened wide with a loud groan as it hit that magical spot on the first thrust, and you screamed his name as your orgasm finally hit, Cillian pounding into you as you called his name. You just prayed the room next door was empty...
He tangled his hands into your hair as he continued thrusting up into you, your nails were clawing his shoulders as you moaned loudly - a second release quickly building.
"Need to move, my legs are killing me!" He groaned into your neck, and begrudgingly lifted you off him, keeping your legs round his waist as he turned the shower off and carried you into the main room. Sitting in the chair, he sat you back on his lap, a leg either side of him
"Want me to ride you Cill?" He nodded as you ground your hips against him, not taking him inside you just yet. If this was the only chance you had to do this, you were making it last as long as possible.
"Fuck.. don't tease me y/n..."
"Want me to ride that big cock of yours Cillian? Bounce up and down, back and forth, round and round.." your hips mimicking your words making him gasp. Your mouth teasing his now, tongue tracing his lips. He kept moving to kiss you fully but you kept pulling back.
"Jesus y/n..." You sank down onto him, taking him inside you. Riding him hard, your second orgasm burning inside desperate for release. He pushed you back slightly and moved your fingers down to your own clit. "Rub it... Wanna watch you..." You happily complied, head thrown back in pure ecstacy as you rode both him and your fingers to your orgasm. Shuddering with the release, feeling your juices coat him, he picked you up again and lay you down on the double bed, relentlessly pounding into you now while you clutched at his back, nails surely drawing blood now. He was like a man possessed, harder than he'd ever been before.
"That's it... That's it... Fuck... Cillian!" You were screaming his name as he grunted against your neck.
"Gonna cum y/n... Fuck..." With a loud groan followed by your name he came hard, filling you completely as a third orgasm took you along with him. Pulling out slowly, catching his breath, he remained on top of you.
"My shoulders are fucking shredded y/n..." He laughed, feeling the sting from where your nails had scratched him.
"Sorry... You were just too good..." You breathed, still coming down from your high. He rolled onto his back and pulled you into his arms. You lay there silently for a while, playing with his chest hair.
"That was worth the wait.." he smiled and kissed the top of your head. All you could do was nod, words suddenly becoming impossible. You'd never been fucked that good before in your life.
"Let's make a deal," he tilted your face up to look at him, gently leaning down to kiss your lips. "If we work together again in the future, and we're both single, we do this again. What do you say?" You smiled. You were worried for a second he was going to profess his undying love for you - definitely not what you wanted from this.
"Deal. Hey, there might be a role for me in the movie yet," you winked, biting your lip. He smirked down at you and rested his head back on the pillow.
"Can't wait." You sat up to get ready to leave, you both knew you couldn't stay. One of you had to go back to the party so as not to arouse too much suspicion.
"This was fun, right? And we're okay?"
"Yes, and yes. All good. Stay in touch? No matter what?" He watched you get dressed and fix your hair, reapplying your lipstick.
"Definitely." You leaned over him to steal a final kiss, and headed out the door smiling, both of you silently praying Ada had a place in the movie, and vowing to remain single for the foreseeable future.
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spideymarvelws · 4 years ago
Note
What would frat Peter! Be like if he found out the reader is a Virgin?
i put to much time into this
Main Masterlist / Add Yourself To My Taglists
Warnings : SMUT! (dirty talk, slight degrading, protected sex, oral [fem rec]), cursing, floof, peter going from simp to cocky real quick
Word Count : 4.6k (okay why is this longer than 90% of my oneshots i-)
Frat!Peter finding out the fem!reader is a virgin
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It all starts when you and Mj are lounging in your shared apartment watching a movie like you both did every Sunday
The both of you were cuddled into the endless amount of blankets on either side of the couch, eyes trained on the bright screen in front of you
But your mind was focused on something else, namely a certain brown haired boy that just couldn’t seen to leave you alone
Peteyboi💗👀: hows the movie going lovebug??
you : lovebug?
you : thats a new one
Peteyboi💗👀: just trying out new things
Peteyboi💗👀: spicing stuff up a bit yk?
Peteyboi💗👀: do you like it?
you : im not really opposed to it
Peteyboi💗👀: ill add it to the list then
you : list?!
Peteyboi💗👀: pretend you didn't read that
You giggled at your boyfriends words, mouthing a quick sorry to MJ when she gave you a hard glare with the sudden burst of noise
But you couldn't help it, every time you saw the notification pop up on your phone, you couldn't help but act like a lovesick teenager falling in love for the first time
At this point the both of you had been dating for around seven months
Seven months of cliche coffee dates and pulling all nighters
Seven months of stolen kisses in the library or holding hands under the table during lectures
Seven months of pure bliss
“So why haven’t you guys fucked yet?” MJ said abruptly shaking you out of your love sick stare texting Peter
“I’m sorry, what!?”
“You know,” she pounded her fist into the palm of her hand repeatedly, “Sex,”
 “What- I-” you shook your head, trying to process her words, “How did this come up all of a sudden?”
“Since you decided to ignore me on our movie night,” she smirked, “Were you sexting him?”
“WHAT!”
“So I’ll take that as a no?”
“Yes thats a no!” you buried yourself further into the blankets, “Should-” you took a deep breath, “should it be a yes?”
“I don’t know, should it?”
“Oh that’s a good question! Almost like I already asked it,”
Mj laughed at your pouty glare
“No, no it shouldn’t,” she rested a comforting hand on your leg, “Do you want it to be though?”
Yes you did
More than anything
It was stupid, but what you had with Peter was different from anything you’ve had with other people in the past
He was everything a girl could ask for, smart, caring and a sweet personality that could make anyone smile
Let’s not mention his impressive build
And out of all the girls and guys that threw themselves at him, he choose you to love
You wanted to take that step with him, but you were scared that he would reject you
You weren’t experienced, in any way, to the point where you were completely innocent 
And you were dating a frat boy, the name that carried the reputation of sleeping around with most people on campus
How could you match up to that?
You couldn’t help but feel insecure in that area
The most you’ve ever went with Peter was a heavy make-out, it happened quite often too but he always stopped things before they went any further
There wasn’t any explanation, only peter bringing you close to cuddle for the rest of the night, forgetting the spit covering his lips and neck
Which lead you to make your own and none of them were exactly positive
Didn’t stop you from imagining a life where he wouldn’t drop you figuring how untalented you were in bed though
Or just daydreaming of him railing you out of existence
im looking you
“Yes?” you covering your face with your hands, embarrassed with your confession, “I don’t know about him though,”
MJ was aware that you were a virgin but only scoffed at your answer, “Oh come on, that boy is head over heels for you, why wouldn’t he want to fuck you,”
You felt your face heat up with the choose of words, “If he did wouldn’t he have made a move by now?”
“Better question, have you noticed his moves,”
Her question made you think as she continued
“Because I sure have,” 
“What do you mean?”
She rolled her eyes, “The looks he gives you when your not paying attention,” she started to count on her fingers, “Always touching you, constantly, like all the time. Biting his lip anytime you do anything remotely sexual and always blushes afterwards because he caught himself. Oh! Remember that time you wore that skirt? Like the pretty tight one? Yeah, his eyes were on your ass for like the whole day-”
“Okay, okay you could stop now I get it,” you groaned, “How do you know all of this?”
“I’m observant,”
“Makes sense.”
“The point is, he’s is definitely interested in you Y/n, it’s just a matter of you showing interest back.”
“I-” you sighed, “I can’t do that mj,”
“Like hell you can’t,” she rolled your eyes but pried your hands away from your face softly, “Do you want him to be your first Y/n?”
You nodded your head, “Yeah,” you looked back at her, “Yeah, I do,”
“Then you need to talk it out with him, see where you both stand when it comes to that regard in your relationship,” 
“I know, I know, I’m just scared for his reaction,”
MJ only sighed, “This is Peter we’re talking about y/n, he’d respect your boundaries until your ready, and I know you’ll respect his. Its just a matter of who makes the first step,”
“Okay, okay,” you took a deep breath, “I’ll just ask him when I could see him again and just-” you paused, “Ask him,”
“There we go!” MJ cheered as you reached for your phone
Peteyboi💗👀: hello??
Peteyboi💗👀: hellooooooooo
Peteyboi💗👀: is this about the list?
Peteyboi💗👀: i promise ill try them all out sugar
Peteyboi💗👀: ...
Peteyboi💗👀: tbh i didnt like that one
You looked up at MJ, motivated by her reassuring eyes and words, you texted back
you : dont worry petey, the list is cute 😂
Peteyboi💗👀: good good
Peteyboi💗👀: did mj catch you??
you : maybe
you : i blame your clinginess
Peteyboi💗👀: i thought you said you liked my clinginess🥺
you : never said it was a bad thing 😘
Peteyboi💗👀: you implied it tho 😪
you : nah
you : i think thats just you
“What did he say?” MJ interrupted, her legs bouncing up and down anxiously
“I- uh, didn’t get to it yet,”
“I will take that phone, throw it across the room and make you do this in person if you keep stalling,”
You didn’t want to test her words
you : i miss you tho
Peteyboiiii💗👀: sorry babe, just been really busy with the internship
you : i know petey dw
you : do you know when you’ll be free next?
Peteyboiiii💗👀: uuuuhhhh
Peteyboiiii💗👀: the guys are suppose to be out Thursday
Peteyboiiii💗👀: i was suppose to tell you tomorrow but you beat me too it😂
you : oh really?
Peteyboiiii💗👀: would be just the two of us...
fuck circumstances
you : its a date then?
Peteyboiiii💗👀: hey! thats my line😤
you : sorry for stealing your thunder loverboy
Peteyboiiii💗👀: 👁👄👁
you : oh so you could do pet names but i cant???
Peteyboiiii💗👀: never said it was a bad thing 👀
you : ...
you : goodnight peter
The couple of days leading up to the Thursday were stressful to say the least
But MJ was there to hype you up, telling you everything that you should expect, what signals to use and even going out of her way to buy you a red set of lingerie
“It’s going to be awkward at first-”
“Well no shit it’s going to be awkward at first,”
“Hey! No talking back to your teachers,”
“Sorry...”
The drive to the house was nerve wrecking
You were anxious to see his reaction, but even with the doubt clouding your head, there was a ray of light that passed through, reminding you that Peter wasn’t that type of guy
That these past months have proved that he loved you, and you loved him
That he wanted this just as much as you did
You just needed to show him that
He greeted you at the door with a bear hug, rocking you back and forth in his arms
“I’ve missed you angel,” he whispered into your ear, pressing a kiss to your neck that made the hairs on your skin raise
“Angel?” you squeaked, “Where did that come from?”
“The list remember?” he pulled back, beaming brighter than you’ve ever seen, “going down one by one. I quite like this one though,” his voice lowered, “Angel, suites you don’t your think?”
“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, “Could we go inside?”
“Yeah of course,” his hand squeezed your waist, moving to small of your back and leading you inside
You didn't know how long you could last. With the new pet names, your hyperawareness to his touch and all of his words suddenly having new meaning behind them
You started to miss being so oblivious
“It’s been so long since we’ve had a day together, holy shit,” he said, falling back against the cushions of his couch with his thighs spread making you gulp, “come here,”
“Huh?”
He pouted, “I want to cuddle with my girlfriend so come here,”
the dude likes cuddles leave him alone
You shook your head, remembering MJ’s words,
“First step, get into the bedroom,”
“Wouldn’t it be more comfortable in your room?”
Peter’s head tilted to the side in confusion, “We have the whole house to ourselves and you want to spend it in my room?”
You nodded, walking up to him and stretching out your hand for him to take, “What’s so wrong with your room?”
“nothing, nothing,” he sighed taking your hand and standing up, “Just not as comfy as the couch,”
“You’re just being dramatic,”
“Dramatic?” he teased, raising your hand to spin you around, pulling your back to his chest, “I know nothing of a sort,”
You knew it was suppose to be playful, you knew he was just teasing you like he always did
But the feeling of his hard chest against your back, his hair tickling the base of your throat and his arms wrapped strongly around your waist, keeping you tight against him
You couldn't help but imagine this in a very different scenario
“Ready to go then?”
You nodded, not sure if you could even form words correctly at that point
Peter smirked and within one motion he had you in his arms bridal style, taking you to the stairs that lead to his room
“Nothing of a sort my ass,” you mumbled into his neck, cracking a smile when you felt the vibrations of his chuckles rumble from his chest
“You should know me well enough by now angel,” he kicked open his door, closing it back with the heel of his shoe, “I like to play,”
You sure fucking hoped so
You shrieked when he threw you down on his bed, hopping on top of you and holding you down so you couldn’t move
“Peter!” you whined, giggling when his fingers trailed up your side
“What’s wrong angel?” he kissed your noise, moving to kiss your cheeks, your forehead and finally a small peck on your pouty lips, “Do you not like this,”
“No, no, no,” you cupped his face, keeping him still do you could look at him directly, “I love this,”
“good,” he whispered, bumping his nose against yours, lips brushing against each other, “Good,”
“great,” you whispered back, hesitantly raising your head to connect your soft lips on his
It was slow, reminding you of the first time you kissed in the park, trying to figure out you’d lead, you’d follow. Getting the timing right when opening your mouths, and tilting your heads at the right angle for the perfect combination of comfort and touch
It was almost like he was memoizing the motion, stopping after every movement before continuing again sometimes with the same thing or trying out something new
Soon enough his hands gripped the side of your waist, pulling you up slightly to flip the both of you over so that you were on top
He pulled you closer, your chest practically moulding into his when his tongue swiped along your bottom lips, asking for entrance
You gave it to him immediately, letting him explore your mouth in any way he wanted
It went on like that for a few minutes, just the two of you sloppily making out in the middle of his bed. You tried to take it a bit further, grinding your hips subtly but his grip tightened and he pulled away, pressing his forehead against yours
“I missed that angel,” he whispered, grinning at your small giggle
“Me too,” you paused, letting out a shaky breath, trying to recover from the kiss and ignore the wet feeling in your pants, “Could I ask you something?”
“Anything,”
It was now or never, “Why did you stop?”
“Well I- uh, didn’t think you would want to kiss for the rest of the day,” he laughed to cover the crack in his voice, “I know I’m irresistible angel, but you don’t want to wear me out so soon,”
You bit your lip, “But what if that’s what I want?”
Peter’s eyes widened as he shifted on the bed, “You- you want that?”
“Only if you do,” you started to regret your words, “You know what? Just forget I said anything-”
He quickly cut you off with a kiss making you gasp lightly at the sudden contact, “I want that more than anything,” he said quickly, “It’s just- I don’t want to force you into anything, didn’t want to make you feel obligated in any way,”
“I- I want this peter,” your said, feeling the heaviness on your chest disappear, “I want this with you,”
“Are you sure?”
“More than anything.”
“Okay, okay,” he nodded, trying to hid his smile as he lifted you off his lap, laying you gently on the bed, “Hold on, I’ll be right back,”
You watched with your head tilted in confusion when peter walked out of the room only to come back with a blindfold in his hands
“Petey, as much as i would love to, you know it’s my first time and uh-”
He quickly caught on to what your implying, burning bright red, “No, no, no that’s not what this is for,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I want your first time to be special and this is a bit rushed but I want to surprise you and make it nice,”
“Oh,” you stood up, “Okay yeah,”
Peter walked behind you, gently laying the blindfold around your eyes and tying it behind your head. He leaned down to place a cheeky kiss on your neck, trailing up to behind your ear
“Stay here,” he demanded softly before stepping away leaving you frozen in place
He couldn’t help but stand back for a few minutes and admire your state. Your feet were tilted inward, hands rubbing your shoulders with your head tilted down
The perfect display of submission
But he had to kick those thought aside, just for today
After a couple of minutes of waiting, you jumped when you felt hands on your arms, calming when you recognised the rough skin
“Are you ready?” he could hear the smile in his words
“Yes,”
The blind fold feel from your face, your eyes blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the light
But it was a lot darker than before, the lights dimmed drawing attention to the groups of candles sitting on his nightstand. The sheets were different as well, the white blankets replaced with soft black ones, the grey pillows now red with intricate designs sewn into them
“It isn't much but, I hope it’s everything you dreamed it would be,”
“It’s that and more Peter,” you smiling, turning around in his arms to place a quick kiss to his cheek, “Now it’s time for my surprise,”
You pushed him down on the edge of the bed, turning around and taking off your hoodie, shuffling out of your black tights to reveal the lingerie 
You turned around with a harsh exhale, feelings small under his gaze
“fuck, you were ready for tonight weren’t you baby?”
You fiddled with your fingers in front of him, “MJ helped me,”
“Figured,” he took your hand, pulling you back to gently straddle his waist, “You’d be beautiful in a potato sack angel, you have nothing to worry about,”
You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and settling in his lap, “I find that hard to believe,”
“Then let me show you,”
He leaned in, kissing your lips briefly and pulling back, smirking when you mindlessly chased them
“tease,” you muttered, your forehead falling against his
“You love it,” 
“Yeah, yeah I do,”
You both leaned back in, your mouths perfectly in sync as your lips moved against one another, the practise before hand helping tremendously  
Your arms tightened around his neck, your hands running through his soft brown locks, tugging lightly on the strands
He groaned into your mouth, bitting the your bottom lip and pulling lightly, “You’re going to be the death of me angel, you know that?”
You only giggled, “Seems more like a you problem,”
“Oh? Is that how it is,”
You nodded shyly, playing with the edge of his shirt, “I just think it’s unfair that I’m the only one without a shirt on,”
Peter bit his bottom lip, reaching down and pulling off his shirt and connecting your lips right after. He hooked his arms under your thighs, lifting you up as he stood and lying you back down on the bed
He moved his lips from yours, down your throat to your colour bone, leaving his own marks in the process
Sealing you as his
And his only
“Can I?” he gestured to the front clip of your bra
You nodded, lost in the feelings of his lips on your skin
“Words angel,”
“Yes, yes please,”
He laughed, “Didn’t even get to the main event and you’re already begging for me,” 
You whined, “Peter,”
“Sorry, sorry,” he mumbled, unclipping the garment, helping you raise slightly so he could fully discard it to the side
“Beautiful,” he whispered before latching his mouth on your left nipple, stimulating the other with his forefinger and thumb
“Oh my god,” your hand shot to his hair, tugging at them slightly while the other took the sheets tightly in its palm
“Feeling good angel?” he smirked knowing damn well the answer
He just wanted to hear you say it
“So good Peter,”
He chuckled, switching to the other nipple, “We haven’t even reached the good part Y/n,”
You only let out a shaky sigh, your hand falling from his hair once he started to move further down your body
He liked that he could make you melt with the minimum things he could do
He wanted to remind you that he had the power to do so
And you enjoyed it
Your back arched when he kissed down your stomach, his fingers trailing down the side and hooking them on the lace of your panties
He looked up at you, waiting for your confirmation 
“Please,” you said once again, raising your legs slightly so he could take them off easily
“So needy,” he muttered, taking them off in once motion, crawling back up to place himself between your thighs, “Going to make you feel so good angel, so fucking good,”
His arms wrapped themselves snuggly around the base of your leg, pulling your core down closer to his face
“Ready?” he purred, trailing kisses up your thigh
“Yes,”
“Good.”
He took a bold lick up the length of your pussy, his tongue swirling around the bud of your clit
“Holy fuck Peter!” you shouted, bitting down on your finger to suppress your noise
“No, no, no angel I want to hear you,” he almost growled, “I want to hear you scream for me, know that I’m the only one that would ever get to hear and make you feel this way,”
His possessiveness turned you on even more
You slowly moved your hand from your mouth, placing it down by your side as peter continued eating your pussy like a starved man, listening to your moans and paying attention to your sudden jerks and reactions to his movements
“Taste so good angel, fuck. I’ve been fantasising about this moment ever since I laid eyes on you,” his fingers started to play with your lips, “The things i’ve wanted to do you, to absolutely ravish you, make you my own” he plunged his finger slowly into you, his strength keeping you pressed against the mattress, “But that’s for later, today is all about you,”
You couldn't even form a word when he added a second finger, sending your head back against the pillows. It was so much, his mouth toying with your clit, his fingers entering you that were so much thicker than yours, hitting places that made your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure
With the third finger you could feel something change, a sudden spike run up your body, clearing your mind of everything but the feelings of your high quickly approaching
“Peter I-”
“Going to cum angel? Gonna cum all over fingers?”
“Yes Peter fuck!”
“Go ahead Y/n, cum for me,”
You high reached with his words, shaking your body. Peter slowed his pace, dragging out your orgasm for as long as possible
He crawled back up your body, stilling his fingers inside of you while littering your blown out face with kisses, awarding you with his touch
“You did so well angel,” he whispered, “So fucking well,”
“Really milking the use out of that name huh?” you managed to mummer, throwing your arms lazily around his neck, not wanting him to leave any time soon
“Do you want me to change it?” he teased, pulling out his fingers, muttering a small sorry when you winced
He brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking your wetness of his skin while more continued to form at his dirty display
“How about...” his fingers popped out of his mouth, moving to caress your face, leaving a trail of his spit down your cheek, “Princess, my pretty princess,”
Your legs clenched at his tone and new name, making Peter giggle, “Princess it is then,”
He reached over to his bedside table, grabbing a condom and ripping the package open. He rolled the plastic on his impressing length, making you both drool and scared that that’s what was going inside of you
When he took off his sweatpants? you didn’t know
He flipped the both of you over for what felt like the hundredth time that day. His hands were tight on your hips, keeping you hovered over his hard cock
“We go at your pace okay?” his looked at you with dark eyes, “Are you sure that-”
You cut him off with a messy kiss, taking his member into your hand and guiding it to your hole 
“You talk to much,” you mumbled, taking the red tip inside you with a groan
He moaned with you, your pussy tight and snug 
“Take it easy,” he whispered, whipping off a bead of sweat that began to form on your forehead, “We have all the time in the world,”
“So big,” you whimpered, slowly take him inch by inch. Soon enough you started to loose balance on your knees, falling forward with your hands on his chest and your thighs relaxing, letting him bottom out inside of you
“Fuck,” you both said in unison, letting out a breathy laugh
“It kinda hurts,” 
“Well I’m not exactly average in that department-”
You scoffed, moving around on his lap, trying to find a comfortable position
“Tell me how you’re feeling princess,”
“It- it’s getting better,” you were fully relaxed now, “I- I want to start moving,”
“Go ahead Y/n,” he raised himself up so that his chest was pressed against yours, “I’ll guide you okay?”
“Okay, okay,”
You started moving up and down, more so just humping his body because your legs already starting to feel weak
But peter was patient with you, constantly making sure you were okay and keeping his eyes on your body
Not like he wanted to take them of of you
You looked angelic above him
No wonder the name suited you so much
Your mouth open, hips moving slowly bringing the both of you pleasure you’ve never experience before
He wanted to keep that picture in his mind forever, framed in his memory
Because you weren’t some girl at a party he picked up or guy he drunkly made out with
You were someone he loved, with all his heart 
That trusted him enough to share this moment with him
And just perfect an every way
“You’re doing so well princess,” he groaning, staring to rut his hips back into yours, making your moans grow even louder
“Fuck,” you fell against his chest, “Peter,”
“You want me to take control princess? Too fucked out already?” he couldn’t help himself while muttering those words, getting lost in the feeling of you
“Please peter I can’t-” he cried, “Please,”
“I got you princess,” he planted his feet on the mattress, thrusting up roughly into you, “I always got you,”
He began pounding into you, gradually getting faster and faster as your whines and moans grew louder and louder
Your second orgasm was quick on its way, and with Peter’s pace becoming irregular, you could tell he was almost there as well
“So fucking tight princess,” he groaned, pressing his cheek against yours, “Are you close,”
You mewled in response
“Cum with me princess, scream my name and cum on my cock,”
“Peter!” you shouted, cumming hard on his member and sagging against his chest
You could feel the condom begin to fill up inside of you, his hips stilling against yours
Part of you wondered how it would feel shooting inside of you without the protection
From there it was a blur, the feelings of peters lips against your skin, his arms wrapped around you, something cold and wet moving across your body
You caught your bearings when Peter pulled you into his chest, his shirt now covering your form along with the same fluffy blankets that covers the couch downstairs
Peter started, “That was-” 
“Amazing,” you finished for him, giggling and cuddling further into his chest
Peter looked down at you, his hand caressing your face like he did moments before but this time his touch was filled with comfort and reassurance, “Are you alright?”
“Better than I’ve ever been,” you giggled, peter chuckling along with you
“I think I’m going to need to start adding names to that list,” 
You looked up at him, “Like what?”
He sighed, a sly smile forming on his face
“I think I’ll start off with my little slut,”
...
fun fact, this was originally gonna be different types of frat peter like cocky, soft etc like some fucking frat peter multi verse but i just lost interest halfway through. 
My mind just said no♥️ so i scraped that and this was born instead
Permanent Taglist : @jadegill @joyleenl @sarcastic-sunset-7 @wakeupandsmellthelavender @kaithezaftig @theliterarymess @thirstiestpotato @i-love-superhero @lovewolfspirit @lowkey-holland @miltifandoms1019 @black-rose-29 @parkershoco
Peter Parker Taglist : @ietss @itscaminow @dummiesshort @seutarose @cebaratn16 @lanceyfancypants @clara-licht @sadassflatass @usuck @yeah-seems-legit @lolasm0nst3r @hogwarts-is-my-home23
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firefly-in-darkness · 4 years ago
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Life on Hold
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Pairing → Bucky Barnes x Reader
Characters → Marvel Characters
Summary → Y/N is pulled out of retirement by Fury, and Bucky is the one to break the news.
Word Count → 2.8k
Prompt → ‘You must be out of your goddamn mind’ for @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ Hamilfilm Lyric Challenge 
SSB2021 Square Fill → ‘Where’s the fight?’ - @star-spangled-bingo
Warnings → 18+. Fluff, Angst, Smut. Swearing.
Betas → @daydream3r-xo​ & @fandomfic-galore​ // all mistakes are my own.
A/N → This is my first time taking part in a bingo card and what better way to kick it off than with our boy Bucky and the trifecta of angst, fluff & smut! Hope you enjoy - comments & reblogs are always adored!
Firefly’s Masterlist // Star Spangled Bingo 2021
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Fury entered the conference room at Stark Tower with his usually authoritative, no bullshit attitude and the black leather jacket flowing behind him. The Avengers immediately halted their actions; Natasha and Clint gave each other a knowing side-eye, Bucky and Steve placed down their coffees while Wanda, Vision and Bruce stopped their conversation, mid-flow, to turn their attentions to the director.
“Where’s Stark?” Fury looked around for the billionaire, but he was nowhere to be seen.
A voice came through the speakers, “I’m here. Just not here, here.”
Fury turned to the camera in the corner, “Stark, I suggest you get in here now.”
“No can do boss, I’m a little tied up doing good for the community at the moment.” The Iron Man suit’s HUD display appeared in the centre of the room above the table with Stark’s signature smirk, “I’m listening.”
The holographic display changed with the flick of Fury’s hand; Stark’s face appearing in the top right corner while the other information appeared larger. A selection of blueprints for a fortified base, images of various Hydra agents and satellite footage of the surrounding area. Steve flicked through the same information on the tablet in his lap while the rest of the team continued to look at display or Fury for further instruction.
“As you can see, we have collected a lot of information about this particular base. The only problem is that we are struggling to infiltrate it. Our agents have explored every possible way to get inside but it’s becoming more obvious that whatever is happening inside that warehouse is something for the Avengers to deal with.” Fury continued as he walked around the room, hands behind his back.
“What attempts have been made?” Steve asked, the stern tone of Captain America coming through.
The Avengers watched the footage that enlarged in front of Nick Fury; a group of agents moving as one through the dense snow-covered forest until they were repelled back twenty feet.
“That’s the issue. We’ve tried to go through it, over it and under it. We can’t get in so I need the best on this,” Fury pointed at the repeated clip of the soldiers being hit with the force field, “Romanoff, Barton; get reading up on those reports, see if you can find anything that stands out. Maximoff and Vision, start looking into what that force field is and whether you remember it from your Strucker days. Stark, I need you back here for the final briefing by 1800 hours.”
The four Avengers nodded at the director and left the room. Stark disconnected and the hologram disappeared. Bucky remained silent, watching Fury’s every move while Steve reclined in the chair, spinning it towards the director.
“And what about us Sir?” Steve asked, his body tense and irritation not going unnoticed by the remaining attendees.
“I said I needed my best.” Fury pressed his hands against the back of a vacant seat, looking straight to Bucky. “There’s only one person that can help us with this one.”
Bucky’s eyes darkened and he barked in response, “No!”
“He’s right, Buck.” Steve turned to him with a small smile, “we’re going to need all the help we can get. Who knows what’s going on down there?”
“You must be out of your goddamn mind.” Bucky pushed the chair back forcefully and walked to the door, yanking it open. He paused looking back at Steve and Fury, “and I guess, I’m going to be the one to break the news, aren’t I?”
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The bell above the door chimed as Bucky entered the florist; he was hit with a multitude of colours and smells that were incredible but the one thing that stood out most to him was the woman tucked between sunflowers and dahlias with an older gentleman. His heart raced at Y/N’s beaming smile as she gathered up the flowers and rang up the cost on the register.
Bucky preoccupied himself with the assortment of blooms and the trinkets scattered around the small shop while she continued to chat with the gentleman, he tried not to listen in to the conversation, but he had to gauge her mood before he approached her, not that she didn’t already know he was there.
“Mr Lee, you cannot make those eyes at me when you’re buying flowers for your wife!” Y/N laughed, “send her my best and that I’ll see her on Sunday for the bake sale.”
“You’ll realise that I’m the one for you sooner or later.” The man waved and passed Bucky, leaving the shop with another jingle of the bell.
Bucky had watched the man leave as he thought of how impressed he was with the way Y/N had settled into this town after a few months. He’d always been impressed with the woman that had managed to retire and find her feet so seamlessly. 
Without turning around, Bucky knew that she was now behind him and her hands would be placed on her hips, a sideways pout on her lips as she waited for him to pay her attention.
“Seeing as we only saw each other on Thursday, Buck, and if someone had died, you’d have called, what could you possibly need on this wonderful Sunday afternoon? Did you miss me that much?” She giggled but then she saw the seriousness in his face once he’d turned around. “Shop closes in an hour; I’ll be up in a bit.”
Bucky felt guilty for dimming the sparkle in Y/N’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, she was silent with a blank expression as she unlocked the door leading to her apartment. He’d never experienced the receiving end of the anger that was smothering the atmosphere. Of course, he’d witnessed it aimed at others but never at this level towards himself. 
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Y/N kicked off her trainers and untied her apron, slamming it down on the kitchen table. Her fingers clenched around the fabric, and her jaw ticked before she turned to Bucky. He leaned against the door frame and explained how she needed to come out of retirement for a mission, giving her the details about the force field that the SHIELD agents were unable to penetrate.
Bucky waited for Y/N to speak, he learnt long ago that he had to leave her to process whatever it was that was racing through her mind. Y/N had her back to him, one hand gripping the counter and the other holding tightly onto the knife that she’d retrieved to chop vegetables. She turned around and opened her mouth, only for no words to come out and for her to continue preparing dinner. 
The pain and fear that flicked across her features were motivation enough for Bucky to get closer, he strode over and placed his hands on her hips. He felt the tension drop from her body at his touch, a sense of pride swelled as she leant her back into his chest.
“It’s been 113 days since I left. You can’t come here and ask this of me.” Y/N’s voice cracked, and her eyes glossed over as she waved the knife around in front of her, the peppers no longer being diced. 
Bucky’s fingers held her wrist to stop the kitchen utensil from turning into a weapon and rest his chin on her shoulder, “I know doll, but you know why I was sent and not Steve or Fury himself.”
“Yeah, ‘cos they know y’all sweet talk me ‘round.” She scoffed and dropped the knife down with a clatter, turning in his arms to look at him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and fingers threaded through the loose strands while a smirk crept up her face, “and they knew that I wouldn’t castrate you either.”
Bucky chuckled and nudged his nose against hers before their lips lightly brushed one another, a soft peck and Y/N unravelled and continued with prepping the food. Stirring the partly prepared sauce heating on the stove, Bucky watched her form soften but he knew that it would be short-lived.
“Where’s the fight?” She whispered, as if she already knew but didn’t want to believe it.
“Poland.” He slipped back and took a seat at the kitchen table, knowing that she would turn around in an instant with another burst of anger. 
And as if on cue, Y/N threw a tomato at the wall to her left, the juices staining the neutral paint as it slid down. She whirled around and pointed the wooden spoon at him, “I can’t believe those jerks! They don’t even have the balls to talk to me themselves and instead, they send my lovely, innocent and ridiculously handsome boyfriend to woo me into returning to the field.”
“I wouldn’t necessarily call myself innocent.” Bucky tried to lighten the mood, but it had the opposite effect.
“You know exactly what I mean,” Y/N paced the length of the kitchen in a few steps before spinning around and walking back again. Defeated with the inevitable of visiting the country she grew up in, she collapsed on Bucky’s lap. “What about my shop? Do they not realise that I have a business to run? I’m not an Avenger, I'm just an ordinary civilian.”
“You’re everything but ordinary.” His arms pulled Y/N closer to him, her head burrowing under his chin, “It’s okay sweetheart, Diane can run the place in your absence, she knows what she’s doing. We’ll be gone a week at most. I made sure to get a month of vacation off afterwards so we can do this place up.”
Y/N’s head snapped up, bashing Bucky’s chin making him bite the inside of his cheek. The blood filled his mouth, but he swallowed it down and cupped her face at the sight of the unshed tears in her eyes.
“Really? Do you mean that? Because being with you for one night every two weeks is horrible.” Her bottom lip poked out and Bucky wobbled it with his index finger.
“Yes, of course, doll.” He smiled and pressed a light kiss to her forehead.
“Hold up!” Y/N pulled away from him, her hands pressed firmly into his chest, “you’re sweet talkin’ me, aren’t you?”
“Nothing gets past you.” Bucky’s head fell back as the laughter rumbled through his chest and Y/N stood up. He swatted her butt cheek, “get a move on with dinner, we have to leave in an hour.”
“James Buchanan Barnes!” She spun around, a feigned look of shock and her hand clutched to her chest. Her agape mouth dropped into a smirk as she leant forward, rubbing her nose against his. “If you’re still into this sweet talkin’ thing…” 
Y/N spun on her heel and with a sway of her hips, wandered to the door. She looked back over her shoulder, “well, are you coming or what?”
Bucky was on his feet in seconds, chasing her down the corridor. Giggles filled the apartment as he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her into the air. He fell backwards onto the bed, dropping her to his side gracefully. 
Both looked at the other, full of smiles and breathless from the short jog. The contrast of cold metal against Y/N’s warm cheek sent a shiver down her spine, and the way Bucky focused on her lips filled her core with want. The laughter died down and desire took over, as their faces inched closer and until they were ghosting over each other’s lips.
“Thought I had to sweet talk you, doll?” Bucky mumbled against Y/N’s parted mouth; his beard scratched deliciously against her.
In retaliation, she pushed on top of him, straddling his waist and feeling the rough texture of the tactical gear hidden beneath the hoodie, “well, what can I see, could never resist a man in Kevlar.”
Y/N ducked down and pressed a light peck to Bucky’s lips. He immediately took control, his hand holding the back of her head and deepening the kiss while his hardening groin rubbed against her clothed sex.
All thoughts of the mission and Poland disappeared with each item of clothing they discarded. Their minds focused on bringing the other to the edge of ecstasy with every kiss, lick, and stroke. Their bodies hummed with desire and need, entangled together above the sheets.
Bucky pinned Y/N to the bed, holding her hands above her head in his grip while he peppered kisses down her neck, and across her now beautifully exposed body. His hold loosened as he neared her sensitive parts, the mewling sounds above him sent repeated shocks of pleasure to his already stiff member.
Y/N couldn’t handle the wait any longer, her hips tilting up towards in demand of his mouth. It was oh so close but still far away from her bundle of nerves, “please Bucky, I need you.”
Not one to disappoint or let his girl beg for too long, Bucky teased her drenched cunt with his fingertips. She whimpered in response, pride swelled in his chest and pushed him to lick a stripe through her lips, tongue swirling over her clit.
“Fuck” Y/N stuttered out; one hand tugged on his locks while the other palmed her breasts.
Bucky moaned, the vibrations pushing Y/N closer to her orgasm. He continued to eat her cunt with ferocity. Bucky always marvelled at how he’d almost cum from the sounds of her moans and the taste of her pleasure. His cock ached as he rubbed the precum across his tip and gripped his shaft to hold off his orgasm until he felt the friction of her tight cunt, until he was deep inside her.
Kisses lightly pressed along her thighs and her stomach; Bucky didn’t miss a single spot, blemish or scar on her body. Her body glowed in the post-orgasmic haze, her fingers softly stroking through his locks as he hovered above her.
Bucky faltered when he saw her eyes glistened with unshed tears and the tremble of her lip, “Doll, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“Oh, sweet man,” Y/N cupped his cheek, his head resting into her palm, “of course not. I’m just scared of going back. Of losing myself to my past. Of losing you.”
Bucky let go of the breath he held, a small piece of him was glad that he hadn’t done anything to hurt the precious person lying beneath him but the rest of him filled with the need to pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be okay. And that is what he did.
He rolled to her side, gathered her up in his hold and pressed soft kisses to the top of her head, “I can’t promise that it won’t be hard. Going back there, to those monsters. But I can promise you that you won’t lose me. I’ll be with you every step of the way, like you have been there for me.”
Y/N clung to Bucky’s waist; her legs entwined with his while she let the tears flow. Her fear subsided with each drop, the caress of Bucky’s fingers along her arm and the sweet nothings he whispered into her ear.
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Y/N packed her bag while Bucky returned to the kitchen to fix her something to eat. Even though he had developed incredible hearing, he couldn’t make out the Ukrainian words that she mumbled in between ‘Steve’ and ‘Fury’ or the slams of the bedroom furniture. But what he did know was that they weren’t going to be any terms of endearment to her former superiors.
Minutes later, Y/N had returned with an outfit change and dropped the holdall to her feet. Bucky’s heart thumped against his chest and a blush heated his cheeks as she winked at him. Even after all this time, seeing her in the black uniform always sent his heart racing and Y/N knew exactly how he felt about the uniform.
They ate the meal in silence as Y/N scanned the details on the tablet, both now brought up to speed with the latest developments from Natasha’s intel; alien technology being sold across the black market. What’s new. Bucky rolled his eyes at the information, there was always some bad guy with a bunch of weaponry, that they didn’t understand, trying to use it for evil.
Once again, Y/N disappeared into other parts of the apartment while Bucky loaded his black truck with her holdall and waited for her arrival in the cab. She hopped into the passenger seat and appeared calm, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he should prepare to duck for cover when they arrived at the briefing room.
Luckily for Bucky, Natasha and Clint pulled him aside to go over their new findings. Not so lucky for Steve and Fury, who would have to deal with the wrath of the retired Avenger.
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stellocchia · 3 years ago
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I really liked Wilbur's lore stream from yesterday, so you guys are getting a short stream analysis from me
As always dialogue is color-coded: Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo
And since I'm the least concise person ever everything is under the cut
The stream is (DSMP LORE) A Year Later
The stream starts with Wilbur singing the L'Manburg anthem to Ranboo. It is interesting to notice that, just like all the streams since he's been back he doesn't start off the stream by addressing chat in any way but already taking with someone in-universe.
"I'm a big big fan of the song (...) (Wilbur notices that Ranboo was muted) so sorry, let's try again: have you heard that song before?" "Yeah I have, I have. I have- I've had a friend that sings it quite a lot" “Good, good, and I was gonna say, it’s obviously based on Hallelujah right? But the thing is, the thing is Ranboo, right? But the thing is- the thing is Ranboo, right? Is that the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing Hallelujah to the plants" "Oh, to the plants?" "Yeah! In- in the- around the- around the uhm... around the thing! You know the- the caravan? (...) so, my man, Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better and that was the song he used to sing and so I thought what a way to honour Tommy, you know, one of the most- one of the most loyal members or of our fair nation than by naming the song after him, you know? And singing it based on his little- his little Muse. Tommy is a- Tommy is all of our Muse really I'd say"
I cut as much of this quote as I could while still leaving it well understandable and leaving in everything I wanted to talk about, but man is it long... So let's break it down a bit at a time:
1) The friend that Ranboo referenced that sings the anthem a lot is most likely Tubbo considering that they met him later on in this stream while he was singing that very song
2) The memory of the song seems to still be a particularly pleasant one for Wilbur, which probably explains why Ghostbur as well was so fond of it. He speaks about it positively throughout and it generally seems like an overall positive moment of reminiscence, probably because it's a callback to a simpler time when Wilbur too was, you know, happier overall. It's a reminder of a time before the worsening of his spiral.
3) Also interesting that they kept it in canon that Tommy singing to the plants was what inspired the anthem. Especially because I'm not entirely sure if that's the case considering that the actual anthem wasn't written by cc!Wilbur but by a fan upon his request (obviously this is outside the story).
4) Last thing I wanted to mention was Wilbur describing Tommy as a Muse. Muses in mythology are the inspirational goddesses of the arts, music, and science, Tommy aside from the anthem obviously isn't that. But it is interesting that Tommy does take a central role when it comes to motivating people. We could say that Techno's speech on the 16th was inspired by him since it was directed at him. Similarly, Niki and Jack had their arcs revolving around him. Tommy was able to rally the troops with ease multiple times. And Dream's obsession with him itself is the main motivator for, like, 90% of his actions. So, while he may not cover the role of a muse literally it's not a comparison that is too far off...
They headed to the museum afterward and took notice of the Ranboo poster being missing. And then they headed off to L'Manburg (which, by the way, looks amazing, thank you cc!Phil for that one).
"It goes by L'Manhole now apparently" "I- yeah it's kinda- ugh- I'm not a fan. It's kinda rude to L'Manburg's history, you know? It- it's called L'Manburg. It's called L'Manburg. NOT Manberg, not L'Crater or whatever. L'Manhole, I don't care, it's now L'Manburg, it's always L'Manburg, okay?"
It's interesting that not too long ago he was saying that even L'Manburg itself (with an emphasis on the name) wasn't what was actually important, the purpose of it was. He admits later on that he lied in that conversation, but it's impressive how quickly he trusted Ranboo enough to let him see how much he still cared about L'Manburg when he was so intent on lying about it not too long ago.
Wilbur's enthusiasm about seeing the flag is another nice confirmation about him still caring deeply for his old nation.
"Damn, I really went down to bedrock, didn't I? Holy shit I did- I did a number on this place" (I wonder why Ranboo didn't correct him on this, because Ranboo knows that Techno, Phil, and Dream are the ones who actually exploded the country down to bedrock...)
They end up seeing Tubbo on the other side of the crater and head over to him. While they're heading there Tubbo is singing the anthem himself in a very mournful tone.
One interesting thing that I noticed it's that it's Wilbur that heads towards Tubbo's location instead of having Tubbo go to him like he mostly did with Tommy for example. I suppose it could be because Tubbo having been a president himself is in less of a subordinate position to Wilbur than Tommy who's always been a simple soldier.
"It's like looking in a little mirror, look you're wearing my suit still? How long have you been wearing that?" "Oh I just put it on, just for today" (in a similar fashion to Jack bringing out the L'Manburg uniform to reminisce, Tubbo also brought out clothes he strongly attaches the memory of L'Manburg to)
"Ranboo have you met Tubbo?" "Yeah, yeah. I've- I've met him, I mean we've, uhm... we've been around" (Ranboo still minimizing his relationship with Tubbo to Wilbur. Of course, this is because he doesn't trust him but it's interesting that he isn't even honest about that)
After a bit of back and forth, Wilbur starts apologizing to Tubbo. At first, like most other times he's having a serious discussion he puts himself in an elevated position to tower over Tubbo. It's a neat way to show how his own desire for control affects him, having Wilbur literally elevate himself over others when speaking to them. Literally putting Tubbo down in this situation. Which does make the beginning of his apology very obviously feel insincere.
"I'm sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I'm sorry for when I did this *pointing at the crater* and blew all this up and making this whole. I'm sorry that I uh- that I said that you were the president of a crater"
This is that first part of the apology I mentioned. Just to clarify, I don't actually think that it was entirely insincere. It just feels less impactful due to Wilbur putting himself in a position of superiority over Tubbo, especially because it's something we've seen him do before. It's also to be noted that this time, like others before, he seems to be apologizing less out of actual guilt and more out of a desire to earn forgiveness. Which is not a critique by the way. I just feel like that's a misconception Wilbur has, that apologies serve the purpose of confirming to him that he's doing a good job at changing more than to actually make amends for what he's done. The reason why I think that's the case for the beginning part of this apology as well it's because of how fast he went to ask tubbo if he forgave him, which did put a certain level of pressure on Tubbo in this situation.
"I mean it wasn't- this wasn't all you Wilbur" (thank you tubbo for finally dispelling some of those misunderstandings)
"Yeah so me and mainly Ghostbur honestly, like-" "Ghostbur" (some more of Wilbur not being too fond of Ghostbur)
"Right is he [Ghostbur] this obsidian crap then I take it and these- these fucking dumb lanterns up here" (a bit more)
To correct Wilbur's misconceptions Tubbo starts off asking if the other knew Dream, to which Wilbur responds with how much he appreciates Dream and how he's his hero, which makes Tubbo backtrack and blames most of Doomsday on Techno and Phil. Which, as we know, isn't actually accurate and I have a feeling that this misinformation will be harmful later on once Dream is out of prison (though I don't blame Tubbo for backtracking with how enthusiastic Wilbur is, that was the basic conflict-avoidant approach that Tubbo seems to prefer).
"They rained tnt for days" (if this is actually canon then Doomsday was even more of a tragedy than we previously saw it as. It was days filled with fighting and destruction. Then again, Tubbo has misremembered traumatizing events before)
"Techno and Phil, they hated the government. I mean it was partially my fault as well" "But you didn't blow it up" "No I didn't. I would never have wished or anything like this to happen" "So it was just Techno and Phil?" *long pause* "Y-yeees"
Two things to say here:
1) I appreciate someone in canon recognizing that it's not Tubbo's fault for what happened to L'Manburg and blaming the people who actually blew it up, similarly to how I appreciate Wilbur bringing up with Tommy that it was clearly Dream pulling the strings with his exile with Tubbo. It's nice having it stated plainly for people to hear
2) This is the misconception I mentioned. This is most certainly gonna backfire at some point.
After that Wilbur commends Tubbo quite a lot for rebuilding New L'Manburg (once again being dismissive towards Ghostbur) and is clearly enthusiastic about it, even going as far as to say that that mattered more to him than them building him a grave.
"I just, I feel lost without L'Manburg. All my core beliefs, everything died with it" "You feel lost without a nation..." "I have no purpose anymore" "I guess that's where anarchy fails" (I think this may be the first time someone admits it to someone else, even though that lack of purpose and feeling disoriented is very obviously a shared sentiment amongst the ex-citizens)
After that, it's when Wilbur invites Tubbo to join Paradise, the, supposedly burger van with a small house attached to it that wasn't supposed to become a nation. I have a feeling that the proposition coming right after that exchange may imply that Wilbur changed his mind on it. He does purposefully put himself again in an elevated position when making the proposition.
"Would you like to come join me in Paradise? Literally" "Hmmm, I'm not sure Wilbur. I'm not sure I trust you man, I need to- in order to follow someone I need to trust them" "Wait, wait but you- I thought you forgave me! I thought it was, you know it-" "Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang on to the hope that people can change, but-"
This is what I mean when I say that Wilbur's apologies come with expectations for the person he's apologizing to. By asking Tubbo first if he forgave him when he originally apologized, he already made it harder for Tubbo to refute that. And now we learn that he expected trust to come along with forgiveness. He's not doing this maliciously of course, but he does seem to have some misconceptions on this.
"I know you had that- that at the festival? With Technoblade? I never spoke to you properly about this. I- I could have saved you" "But you didn't" (other people brought this up, but this is a neat little parallel to the one scene in exile where Ranboo was lamenting about how he should have gone with Tommy and Tommy shut him down pointing out that anyone could have gone but no one actually did)
There is a second round of apologies and Wilbur is still standing higher than Tubbo, BUT he does put himself on his same level after he did a bit more pushing and found that Tubbo was standing his ground. He finally puts himself on the same level as Tubbo and openly acknowledges his boundaries which is the first actual real effort to change that we've seen from Wilbur. Which I'd say is a pretty important step for him.
"Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it, I can't just give it out anymore. I used to be able to but I just- I just can't" (acknowledgement of how Tubbo's trauma also affected him deeply)
"You know I still have dreams, right? Of the explosion. And- and of the fireworks. And- and all of it. I- I still- I vividly see all of it. Every day. It hurts. It hurts a lot Wilbur"
I want to commend Tubbo here for being able to open up like this, especially considering how much he generally leans into denial and how much he usually suppress. And on top of that this is Tubbo acknowledging that both Wilbur's actions (the explosion) and Techno's actions (the fireworks) have hurt him and STILL hurt him and affect him deeply. It's quite a big admission especially for him.
"Sorry feels like such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say" (first time that he's standing on the same level of Tubbo while apologizing)
"You're so strong man. Genuinely. You just- just the fact that you proved to me just there that you have this memories, that you have this nightmares and you still find it in your heart to forgive me. That's... you're a fucking champion man. You- you're a hero"
It's interesting that the reason why he claims Tubbo to be strong here is because he forgave him. It's not something that's inherently about Tubbo, like the fact that he still found the strength to go on and rebuild after the events he mentioned, for example, no. What Wilbur brought up is the one thing that Tubbo did for him. Which tells me that he still clearly has a bit of way to go to learn how to make amends and how redemption actually works, but, you know, that's to be expected honestly.
Wilbur moves on by inviting Tubbo to at least come and see Paradise, just to see what they'd made and Tubbo refuses because he wanted to spend more time reminiscing. Wilbur this time respect Tubbo's boundaries with no pushing which is yet another step forward for him honestly. Wilbur also gives Tubbo a "lucky rabbit's foot" that Tommy gave him to cheer him up and assure him that he had no problems with him not going.
With this their conversation comes to a close and Wilbur and Ranboo head over to Paradise (though not before Ranboo has confirmed with Tubbo that he actually does want to be left alone).
"You know I was gonna say 'this is hard' but obviously it's hard. I mean, you know, I've..." (a bit of reflection on his actions for Wilbur, you love to see it!)
"It's gonna get better! It's gonna get better! And it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling. All of them. Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone!" (I'm pretty sure that this is a genuine sentiment right here. It really does seem that wilbur's Big Plan right now is just to make amends and change)
"Do you know who the original L'Manburg group were? Do you know who we were?" "I- I think most of them yeah... I think it was like: you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well" "Fundy was a bit after. Fundy was after we'd gotten independence"
I wonder if that's an actual misrememberance on Wilbur's part (c!Wilbur, not cc!Wilbur, I'm sure cc!Wilbur remembers this) or just him wanting to put some distance between his good memories of L'Manburg and Fundy. Because Jack and Niki weren't there for the independence war either and yet he singled out Fundy who was. And I doubt that he'd forget about his son being one of the people who lost their first life in the final control room. In addition to that Wilbur didn't mention Fundy before among those he wanted to make smile.
I really think that this was intentional and that it was because, well, Wilbur felt deeply betrayed by Fundy. And we as the audience know that Fundy only ever publicly stopped acknowledging him as his father to be able to stay undercover as a spy, but he doesn't. It wouldn't be so weird that he wanted to erase Fundy from his memories of the time when he was supposed to be happy.
"I try and keep this on the low because I don't want uh- I don't want people to use it against me is the main problem. I do wa- I didn't even tell Tommy, I lied to Tommy" "Yeah?" "I'll be honest I'm gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because if it- it kinda eats away at me. But I told- I told tommy that I didn't actually care about L'Manburg and that it was just like a tool for me to use to gain, you know, power and stuff, but it's not- it's not true. L'Manburg is- was really important to me. And it is still to this day"
Once again I'm surprised how little it took Wilbur to trust Ranboo with stuff he hasn't really told anyone else. Makes you really understand how low of an opinion of himself he has that when the first person that calls him "alright" out loud just gets his undying trust. Especially considering that Ranboo doesn't trust him back and hasn't been the most honset with him so far. It's also a nice spelled out admission for anyone who didn't get how much Wilbur cares about L'Manburg from the longing look he gave to the camaravan's replica in the stream where he said he never cared.
"I wanted history to live on, not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically took a big shit on the history books it feels like" (just another interesting little insight on Wilbur's view of the situation)
"I've heard about what's Tommy's, you know, moved on... and how jack's moved on, and how Niki's moved on and everyone's moved on from L'Manburg at least partially, but Tubbo man, he's still..." (he only thinks the rest of them moved on because he hasn't spoken almost at all with two of them and he never really listened to Tommy. Also, again, Fundy is not mentioned)
"I don't know where I'd be without you [Ranboo] here right now man, I mean T-Tommy's great and all and he's here but I- I feel like, you know, I don't wanna- I don't wanna string him along too much because he's- I- when I look at him. When I look at him when he's helping me out building things with me I see the same eyes that looked at me when... when... There were some- there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn't a very well man and I can just see Tommy from that day"
This one was one heck of a confession!
I don't know if this is me misremembering, but I'm fairly sure that this is the first time he's admitted to not being great to Tommy specifically. Again, Tommy is the one person he met with so far that he hasn't apologized to. Heck! He told Tommy to his face that him being sorry for his actions didn't mean he wouldn't do them again. It's a pretty damn big admission to acknowledge that that behaviour (which is the same now, if not worse when only related to Tommy) wasn't good. It also shows that he's at least a bit aware of Tommy's emotions which is rarely shown honestly. Though whether he cares because of Tommy or because being around Tommy makes him feel guilty (which is what you'd expect him to feel) and he doesn't like that is to be determined still, mostly just because the phrasing was a bit uncertain at the moment.
"I know what it's like to have no one- or at least feel like no one trusts you. Uhm, and I- I've realized that if- if no one's with you then how can anyone really know when you've redeemed yourself? So that's why I'm here I guess" (Ranboo's answer to why he trusts Wilbur. Which he doesn't, but still)
And the stream ends with Wilbur saying he hopes Tubbo comes around to try out one of the burgers (though he does repeat that he doesn't want Ranboo to pressure him to join) and complimenting Ranboo a bit more.
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333sth · 3 years ago
Text
dove. (frankie morales)
chapter i. previous.
pairing: frankie morales x ofc (’dove’) no use of y/n.
warnings: mention of ptsd/military service, language, violence, brief mention of torture/kidnapping, injury detail, fighting.
summary: frankie was going to propose, until dove found the ring and ghosted. even santi can’t track her down.
rating: mature. wc: 1.6k
next
Dove was a nickname coined by an old general during her training. He was a traditional man, though not disrespectful. It was a term of endearment that probably softened the influx of powerful women breaching into the male territory. He’d drawled, ‘I ought to call you Dove – I ain’t never seen a girl so swift, yet so fuckin’ lethal.’ She kept the boys in line too, he’d noted. When Benny got too reckless, or Tom��s temper ran away with him, she was the first to snap them out of it. In environments where peace was a very distant concept, she played the peacekeeper.
One time, during a two-month deployment in Nigeria, the group was shoved in the back of an ancient pick-up truck for six hours. Dove was wedged between Will and Frankie, sweltering in the humid air. The stale smell of sweat mixed with blood and diesel was permeating the air, and they were three hours from the nearest checkpoint. To pass the time, she asked them what they’d do if they weren’t special forces.
That was easy for Will – he’d be a teacher of some kind. Benny waffled about sports, making some brash comment about how he’s got to channel all his aggression somewhere. Tom and Santi couldn’t come up with anything that suited them more than the forces, which was not surprising. Frankie would still be a pilot somehow. Dove had never seen him more comfortable than in the pilot’s chair.
Dove dreamed of owning her own bar or café, somewhere relaxed and laid-back. A beach perhaps, somewhere quaint and peaceful, where the air is warm well into the late evening and the waves are gentle, collapsing onto the sand like white noise. She imagined the hum of conversation meeting tinkling music, beach lanterns dotted around the decking to cast an ambient glow beneath the stars. Maybe a chef on weekends could make bar snacks. Tom had snorted at that, throwing a jab about how she can burn the water they use to make their dried food sachets.
The men had recalled this conversation, desperately trying to fathom where Dove might have taken off to. It was met with an aching nostalgia for the type of teammate she was too. That conversation had been a tactic, a peaceful one, to prevent the terrible concoction of adrenaline, exhaustion and heat forming an argument in that truck. She was a natural tactician as well as a good friend.
Frankie had recounted each country they had been stationed and exactly how Dove had felt about them. She had loved Argentina, even when she got shot and Will spent three hours with his finger crammed in the wound to stop the bleeding. But she also liked Jamaica, Brazil and Hawaii. None of their contacts in the forces had any trace of her, not even Santi’s in South America. Her family were none the wiser – they brushed it off, her dad mumbling something about it sounding like her usual antics. 
All he had was a scribbled note that read, ‘I need space. I’m safe. I love you.’ It was folded neatly in his wallet, like he was carrying the last piece of her that he had. 
*
Mexico. That was where she was. A small town on the West coast that had enough life to keep her occupied, and the guarantee of anonymity.
If people asked, she was a retired nurse, which wasn’t entirely untrue. She told them she spent a lot of her career in humanitarian aid, to explain the occasional jitters on a rowdy Friday night and the nasty scars. There was a particularly gruesome one leading from the base of her throat up to her bottom lip from a knife fight. She told them it was shrapnel, flung from a collapsing building, and she was lucky it didn’t catch her jugular. The locals had gasped in awe at her heroism. She’d flinched against the memory of how her own knife buried into her attacker’s throat instead. 
A few days into her move, Dove had found what could only be considered a derelict shed on the beachfront. It was probably the remains of an old boathouse. With some help from the locals, she had restored the ageing planks of wood. What was spare formed the bar and some rustic furniture. She pieced together a jumble of second-hand bar stools, chairs and lanterns that made for an eclectic combination. It had character and history in its walls, rather than some swanky, expensive build devoid of any personality. It was exactly what she had dreamed of, huddled in hypothermic temperatures or insomniac in her cot at base, sleep beyond her reach.
It didn’t change the fact that every time she entered her bedroom, the old polaroid of Frankie pinned to the wall hits her like a ton of bricks. Frankie knows she took it – it was pinned to the fridge at their home before she left. It’s quintessential Frankie, sat with his arms folded to his chest, biceps straining slightly against an old denim shirt that was getting a little too snug post-retirement. It was at a barbecue, his skin tanned and flushed from a day in the sun drinking, tousled hair peeking out from the sides of a dog-eared cap. Every time Dove glances at it, she wonders if he still has that hat. 
‘Of course he has,’ the voice in her head snaps back. Any piece of clothing she’d suggest replacing would be countered with, ‘over my dead body’. The man was sentimental, a little too attached to his home comforts. She’d also bought it him in a seedy gift shop in the middle of nowhere as a joke. 
“To add some variety,” she’d said. He would never let it go now.
Once, Veronica had eyed the photograph on her mirror and asked, “Who is he then? An ex?”
Veronica, or Roni for short, had lived in the town her whole life until university. When she graduated and moved home to save money, she needed a job. Dove needed a friend, so she took her on as a bartender. She was young and giddy, but harmless. More importantly, she was too self-absorbed to notice or even care that her thirty-something year old boss had bullet holes in her back.
“Something like that.” Dove had replied, rifling through her sorry excuse for a makeup bag. She’d closed the bar early to have a rare night off in the next town over, which had considerably livelier nightlife. 
“You never talk about relationships. Or men.’ Roni observed, peering over Dove’s shoulder to eye another photograph. It was a group picture of the boys, huddled in the same fraying booth in their favourite bar back in Florida. “Looks like you were spoilt for choice.”
Dove scoffed, meeting her friend’s twinkling gaze in the mirror. “Shut your mouth. They were friends from work.”
“Were? Does that mean you can’t set me up now?” 
“They’re almost twice your age. You’d tire ‘em out.” Dove set down the lip-gloss she dragged out for special occasions. “Come on, I’m not getting any younger either. It’s already passed my bedtime.”
Thankfully, that was enough to amuse the younger girl into linking her arm and hauling her out the door to the taxi, no more questions asked.
*
The hollering of spectators and thudding of skin slapping against the mat was reduced to a distant buzzing in Frankie’s ears. It was dimmed by the incessant ramblings of Santiago and Tom, discussing the files Santi had put together on Lorea. He could feel the reawakening of his rusty military senses as he follows the familiar tactics, mentally registering his agreement or noting what he might do differently. He doesn’t vocalise it though, because he hasn’t even agreed yet. Joining the debate would inadvertently signal his agreement. He didn’t want that.
There was a shadow lingering in the space on the bench beside him. It was an empty presence, not Will, who was hooked on the cage of the ring yelling encouragement to his brother. Not Benny, thumping his leather gloves together with his teeth pulled harshly over his mouthguard, judging his competitor with a predatory glint in his eye. 
The opponent was a monster, but he lumbered like his limbs were filled with lead. Frankie notes that Benny, nimble and tall, will have a breeze tiring him out. Dove would have joked that it wasn’t worth coming, that they’ll be sat here until their asses are numb watching Benny play cat and mouse. His chest twinges. Sometimes it’s too easy to remember what she’d do, what she’d say. He wished he knew what she’d make of Santiago’s proposition. She always saw through Pope’s glamourisation and Tom’s greed. 
What Frankie misses while he observes his pitiful surroundings is Tom and Santi descending into a hushed conversation. Tom nudges Santi, “You got anything on Dove?”
Santi sighs, long and solemn, “Maybe.” As Tom’s face quirks in interest, he holds up his finger, “It’s just a hunch.”
“A hunch is better than what we’ve had in the last year.”
Santi takes a sip of his beer, casting a glance at Fish, whose eyes are trained on the floor and the swirling contents of his cup. He knows him well enough to know his thoughts are the only thing that have his attention.
“I worry about him. We all do.” Tom whispers. “Getting busted just made things worse.”
“Don’t get his hopes up, man. It’s nothing solid. It’ll crush him if I’m wrong.” Tom nods solemnly before Santi continues, “A friend of mine saw an ex-Delta in a bar, a woman. He knew ‘cause of a tattoo she had on the nape of her neck.”
Tom’s eyes widen. In front of them, Benny lands a sickening punch on his opponent’s nose, complimented by an audible crack. He’s barely breaking a sweat, dancing around as the guy heaves and stumbles forward. 
Santi’s gaze doesn’t break from the ring. “Mexico. I think she’s in Mexico.”
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edwardelricsrightarm · 3 years ago
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"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return, but once you have overcome it and made it your own...you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart." - Edward Elric
In honor of disability month and the FMA 20 year anniversary I wanted to address some Thoughts™️ about the series.
It's not often you see a disabled protagonist in media where their disability is integral to the story without taking up their entire character, even more so with anime. Yet, Fullmetal Alchemist has not just one disabled Protagonist, but two. The Elric Brothers are an exemplary representation of disability in media that I find myself reflecting on often as a disabled person myself. If you haven't completed the manga or Brotherhood, skip this as it will be brimming with spoilers.
(Mangahood will be my point of reference because while 03 is good on its own merits it's not as fresh within my immediate memory, and I am far less familiar with it. Keep this in mind, I've watched FMAB 10 and a half times whereas I've finished 03 only once years ago.)
The story highlights their disabilities immediately, Edward being a double amputee and Alphonse being without his ENTIRE body, only having the senses of proprioception, sight, and hearing left. Yet, despite this being key to the story and an integral part of their characterization, it is only one facet of their motivations and doesn't take center in the narrative, which is refreshing. It's not inherently negative to make a narrative centered on the characters' disabilities, but often this model of a story goes very wrong very fast and starts to feel hollow (no pun intended). FMA avoids this by making their disabilities a clear part of the plot and their motivations without allowing it to consume the entire story, so the Elric Brothers don't suffer the "my disability is all of my character" problem that many disabled characters are relegated to in a vast portion of media, all while being strong and competent.
Recap:
The brothers wished to revive their mother, but their good intentions cannot change the atrocity of their mistake, Truth makes this abundantly clear from the start. Edward loses his leg first, a punishment for "stepping" into God's shoes and transgressing the place of humans in their world. Alphonse loses his entire body, unable to feel any warmth or simple comforts like food and rest, when all he wanted was to feel the warmth and comfort of his mother's embrace again. At first, Alphonse's entire being is consumed by the gate, but Edward acts immediately, refusing to lose his little brother and refusing to allow his arrogance in this plan to cause his brother's death for only following his lead. Edward gives his right arm to have the gate give back Alphonse's soul, and stated clearly in his panic that he'd give his entire self to save Alphonse if that's what it would take, but Truth took his dominant arm only, showing something akin to mercy, although the character of Truth is capriciously strict and hard to describe as "merciful".
Through giving up his right arm, Edward regains his Right Hand Man, his little brother and best friend. His only remaining family, who he feels responsible for protecting in the absence of their parents. He felt immediately that he'd made a grave mistake, instantly full of regret as he realized the gate had taken his brother. In that moment he was willing to give anything to take it back and undo the suffering his arrogance caused his brother, yet Alphonse was still to suffer more to come. Ed tied Alphonse's disembodied soul to one of Hohenheim's collected suits of armor, managing to at least keep his brother alive in some way. One could say that Alphonse's punishment functioned as a secondary punishment for Edward, showing him how easily his hubris could have cost him what he has left in his obsession with regaining what they'd lost, their mother. A very clear symbolic reminder of the weight of his actions and how he'd misled his brother in his own naive ignorance. Even in giving another limb away to drag his brother's soul back out of the gate, he couldn't offer enough to bring him back intact. Thus is the law of equivalent exchange.
Now that we've reviewed some of that basic symbolism and the motifs the story draws upon with limbs and body parts in relation to characters, let's move on to each individual brother and break it down, shall we?
Edward Elric is a very realistic protagonist, this is one thing a majority of us familiar with this series can agree upon. He feels like a believable teen boy, with layers of complexity to his character while also showing arrogance and immaturity that is unsurprising at his age. He expresses unwillingness to kill and avoidance of unjust violence from the beginning, and has a strong moral code after the ordeal of committing the taboo.
In some characters his cocky personality would typically become grating, yet the story explains in itself why he is this way, then builds upon this to develop him into an incredibly mature character who is willing to admit when he's absolutely wrong and adapts to new information and context for the crisis unfolding around him as it comes, even if he remains crass. This arrogance is shown from the start to be a manifestation of insecurity, self loathing, and repressed guilt. Edward is a logic driven person, he has a very unique thought process, which is where my interpretation of him as autistic comes in. Edward's awkward social demeanor, somewhat abrasive and cold approach to some, and his trouble coping with nonsensical societal structures all stand out in this way. Furthermore he clearly shows hyperfixation, hyperactivity, special interest, and infodumping behaviors that are all too familiar. He's picky with food (*cough* the milk thing), has very little filter and speaks his mind bluntly even if this can warrant conflicting responses, yet at the same time struggles with vulnerable emotions, and he is frustrated when his own routine or itinerary are interrupted by forces beyond his control. All of these things Scream autism with comorbid ADHD. Many traits are shared between the brothers, and I'm quite certain they're both on the autism spectrum based on behavioral patterns. Neurodivergence aside, Edward's physical disabilities are undeniable.
Despite his bratty persona, Edward is fundamentally kind and uncharacteristically gentle and soft around the edges for a shonen protagonist in many ways. He cries openly on many occasions even if he struggles talking about his trauma and burdens in words at times, he feels pain, grief, and compassion so intensely it throws him into action on a regular basis in the narrative. In this way he's also a fantastic example of non-toxic masculinity (though in other ways he has displayed more toxic traits, he's just a kid). He acts on his heart, even if he's led by his mind and logic in most things. His humanity, value for life, and care for others will always win over his logic, and he shows a sense of personal responsibility for doing the right thing even if it harms him in the process. Ed is clearly shown having ghost pains in his lost limbs which is honestly an interesting detail to include, I don't think I've ever seen that aspect of amputation shown in media aside from FMA. It's also shown that when Ed's automail arm breaks this is a HUGE problem for him, but he's also shown to be very good at working around this in difficult circumstances. He doesn't become completely helpless, even if majorly weakened.
Alphonse is an extremely lovable and compassionate boy, brimming with altruism and care for others. Even in his noncorporeal state he pursues a better future and he's not helpless by any stretch. Edward clearly states Alphonse is the superior fighter for example, and it's not just because of his armor body being so large. He's *talented*, that's a fact. Al is every bit as clever and capable as Ed, moreso in some ways, and I love that about his character *because* he's so clearly disabled. He has no sense of pain, he is completely incapable of sleeping, he can't eat, can't relax or find comfort, he can only exist and think. This causes him to overthink in all his time alone, this is debilitating. He clearly is absolutely sick of the loneliness this causes, and he often feels helpless though he's not. He has doubts and fears that consume him in relation to his armor body, he questions his own personhood, even. Yet, Edward is stubborn and staunch in affirming that no matter what he's dealing with, he is fundamentally still a human being that is loved and irreplaceable. Alphonse is powerful and his body gives him some advantages, but it also sets him back, and the brothers know this even when others claim Alphonse's state is somehow a good thing. I have hEDS, a disability that comes with advantages as well as the major downsides, so I can understand and relate to Alphonse here. I too am told my disability is a boon because of flexibility and because I'm less likely to fracture bones, but I'm twice as likely to injure my ligaments and joints, which people ignore.
The brothers are both disabled, both flawed, both show weaknesses, but they are competent, determined, and strong in their own right. They are rounded characters that exist for more than to be pitied or condescended to by able bodied characters around them. They put their entire being in everything that they do no matter what that is, and they don't know the meaning of giving up. These traits that they're made of truly make them a shining example of disability in protagonists for others to look to for reference when writing their own disabled characters.
Even though by the end Edward has regained one limb and Al has regained his body, this also doesn't just deus ex machina reverse their disability or make it go away. It's clear that Alphonse's body is weak and has to be rehabilitated upon recovery, and Edward is still missing his leg and bears the scars and pieces of the port from his automail arm. They weren't suddenly made able bodied upon recovering these things, they reclaimed what was lost through struggle and grit, but the narrative didn't give the impression that their disability in itself was something to be fixed, which is important. They wanted to recover their bodies, but this doesn't erase the effects of their disability.
It was about Edward atoning for leading Alphonse into their mistake and saving his brother from suffering further, it was about them proving they can keep moving forward no matter what, not about getting rid of their disability in itself or putting themselves down because of the disabilities. This, to me, as a mentally and physically disabled viewer, is so important. They achieve their goal, but this doesn't in any way erase or undo the effects of their initial losses, they find ways to adapt and move on but they're still affected and still disabled. They always will be. That can be so important to see in comfort characters, and as a disabled individual who's had both brothers as comfort characters since I was a child, their impact on my own journey is surprisingly tangible for fiction.
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beels-burger-babe · 3 years ago
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Obey Me Character Song Thoughts
***DISCLAIMER: These are my blind reactions to the song. They're my opinion and based off of my personal taste in music as well. You are free to agree or disagree with them as you please, just please no hate***
Lucifer / Arcadia :
Surprisingly, I really like the music in this. I don't usually like electronic music, but this one was nice. His voice isn't my favourite, but is still good. NOW THE LYRICS!! Oh dear. Oh my. Oh boy. I was not expecting to catch feelings for Lucifer today, sir. How dare you do this to me. Update: I just got to the second verse...He's a yandere. He is fucking yandere. He's still so full of himself as usual and I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE BUT I ALSO WANT TO KISS HIM GAAAAAAAH!!!!! LUCIFER YOU ASSHOLE! UPDATE UPDATE: FINAL VERSE! AND THEN THE PRICK GOES BACK TO BEING A ROMANTIC CHARMING LITTLE SHIT 😡😣😖 Final thoughts: I- I- this whole song was a rollercoaster. I love to hate lucifer and hate to love him. I really do. This song embodied that perfectly. I did enjoy the song though.
Mammon / Are You Ready? :
Opening thought. I am not ready. Very not ready. Mammon is amazing in that art 😍.
Okay, now being serious, I'm sorry Mammon. I adore you to BITS, like so so so much. But this is exactly the kind of EDM that I despise. BUT, I bore through it and kept listening. I don't hate his voice, but he's sing talking. He's not quite rapping, he's sing talking. So it's meh. FUCKING UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: THE CHORUS!!!! THE MF CHORUS!!!! HE SINGS! HE CAN ACTUALLY SING (still not best but pretty good)?! AND THE MUSIC SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER THERE WHEN IT'S SLOW- ... ... ... the auto-tune on his voice on that English line 😤 WHY?!! I WAS JUST GETTING INTO IT!!!
Lyrics time: Honestly, it feels like Mammon got drunk, picked up a mic and started singing to MC, and I mean that in the best way possible. He's being honest in a way we've never seen him be honest before, and he calls himself a tsundere 😂 I love it.
Now the chorus lyrics: I love the chorus. It's so Mammon and just perfect. I love it. The lyrics just- *sighs* it's that possessive side of him that makes him the dork that he is. Okay. t-the lyrics...the lyrics also give me MAJOR suggestive vibes and I'm just here like 😳😳😳 MaMmOn PlEaSe WhAt ArE YoU DoInG?!
Final thoughts: The lyrics are also quite repetitive, which is another pet peeve of mine. All in all, it's not bad. It's just not for me. I'm so sorry Mammon 😭😭😭 That being said, I think it suits Mammon fairly well. Not perfectly, but good.
Leviathan / My Chance:
Opening thoughts: THIS TITLE IS SO CUTE AND IT'S PERFECT FOR HIM uwu Also, the vintage game-esque music is just perfect for Levi's aesthetic. Like, the light piano mixed with it gives me Undertale vibes?? Even before he starts singing, I just think it's really cute and it makes me want to hug him. Again, I'm not in love with his voice, but it's still nice. I do enjoy it.
Lyrics: LEVI BABY ARE YOU OKAY?! SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A THERAPIST 😭😭😭
Chorus: It's so sad, but this is Levi's reality. This song embodies him and everything he is so so so well. It really is perfect for him. But seriously bro. Let me hug you. And then we're gonna work on your self-worth issues because oh boy That last verse though. Oh my goodness 🥺🥺 It is the very definition of pining.
AND THEN THE FINAL CHORUS!!! HE'S BEING SO HONEST ABOUT HIS ANXIETY AND I JUST- 😭😭😭😭 LEVIIIIIIIIII!!!
Final thoughts: *clears throat, wipes tears that are totally not there* Right. So it's obvious that I enjoy this one. It just screams Levi and suits him so well and it also just breaks my heart so...yeah.
Satan / Read My Heart:
The piano. THE 👏 FUCKING 👏 PIANO 👏 So beautiful! The fact that his song is so soft and slow when he himself is meant to represent something so strong and violent is simply poetic. There are moments where I love Satan's singing voice in this and there are moments where I don't like it as much. HIS VOICE IN THE CHORUS IS MY FAVOURITE 😭 So sweet. So just- I love him. I love him so much.
Lyrics: So honest, but I feel that this is almost like a letter from Satan of all the things he wishes he could say. Also, remember that dork who can't say love words out loud headcanon we talked about earlier today? He literally confirms here 🥰🥰 Aww Satan
Chorus: AGAIN! SO HONEST WITH HIS FEELINGS AND HIM TRYING TO KNOW HIMSELF 😭😭😭 It's just so beautiful Stunning. I love it. This one hits all the markers for me. I'm calling it now. I think his lyrics are my favourite, and possibly my favourite song in general. It's just such a beautiful love song. Filled with what he so desperately desires but also his fears and it's so honest it hurts.
Final thoughts: This one made me cry. Like, literally made me cry. It was just so beautiful and perfect. I mean, there's a sad line that uses cats as a metaphor 😭 It's fantastic. Amazing. I can't praise it enough. Where I feel everyone else so far (except poor Levi, poor baby) had something that implied...suggestive things, Satan is just so desperate for love. To feel and experience it and everything that comes with it, and it's just- I love it.
Asmodeus / Pomade:
I actually really really enjoy the music here. It's more pop than EDM and I appreciate that. It's nice. Asmo's voice is also really pleasant to listen to. There's just something about it. I like it a lot. When he holds his notes, it just has this amazing sound and I dunno. I just like it a lot! AND HIS FALSETTO!! HOLY SHIT! AMAZING
Lyrics: I mean... It's exactly what I'd expect from Asmo. It doesn't feel like it's being sung to the MC though. At least not at first. It almost feels like he's singing to an audience at the Fall or something.
Chorus: It's a little more personal, but I feel like we're still only getting that one side of Asmo. We're shown in the second season that he does have insecurities and that there's more to him than being self-obsessed, and I'm kind of disappointed that the song doesn't show that.
Second Verse: We're finally getting personal here. Okay. The table has been turned and now Asmo is finally talking about how he feels about MC and that's more I like it!
Final thoughts: Now that I've listened to the final verse and chorus, I GET IT NOW! It's a story. It's how Asmo first felt like all that was there for him and all he was made for was pleasing the audience. Then you came and it was just a game of trying to make you fall for him, just like he had been able to everyone else. And finally, him realizing that it's him who has become captivated by you and that he loves you! It's actually really sweet and I love that. Sound-wise, this song is fantastic! The music really compliments his voice and it all suits Asmo's character really well.
Beelzebub / Hungry Six-Pack:
So ya'll already know I adore Beel and this ROCK MUSIC AND HIS VOICE MADE ME SWOON! His voice! His voice is FANTASTIC! And the music IS AMAZING!!! I just love the guitar in it. It's (pardon me for this) it's just so damn sexy and I love it so much! THE BRIDGE OF THE SONG IS DAMN HOT OKAY?! I CAN'T GET OVER IT!
Lyrics: What I love about the lyrics is that they confirm my theory of Beel actually being physically impacted by his appetite. He says that it can cause him to get dizzy and I'm just here like 🥺🥺 We really get a sense here of how Beel is actually desperate to stop this appetite. He hates how it impacts him. He hates how it impacts those around him. And I just - 😭😭😭
Chorus: It fucking slaps! The up tempo is just *chefs kiss* and I love everything about it. And the words 😳 Damn Beel...Damn. i love him so much even though if you really think about it these words HURT
THE SECOND VERSE WITH DRUMS IN THE BACK JUST MAKES ME WANT TO JUMP AROUND IN A MOSH PIT! I LOVE THE SOUND OF THIS ONE SOOOOO MUCH! IT'S SO GREAT!
THEN IN THE LAST CHORUS WITH THAT HIGHER OPTION NOTE THAT HE HOLDS AND SHAKES AND I'M LIKE 😍😍😍 GOD I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH
Final thoughts: As you can clearly see, I love this one. Now, lyrics-wise, I found a comment that really broke down the lyrics in terms of Beel's insecurity with his appetite and his sin and how he struggles with that and it made me appreciate the song all that much more and I just- I love this song. (The comment was left by Felix The Lemon on this if you don't understand the utter heartbreak of this song, please read this) Maybe it's my bias towards Beel. Maybe it's because it's rock. But this one, overall, is my favourite.
Belphegor / Dreamscape:
I love the almost lo-fi sound to it! It's perfect cause a lot of people use lo-fi to sleep. Very clever producers. Very clever. I both hate and love his voice at the same time and I DON'T KNOW WHY! Like it has a bit of a filtered sound to it, but what genuine sound I can hear through that filter is really really nice and I love it. I TAKE IT ALL BACK HIS VOICE IN THE CHORUS 😭😭😭 HE HAS MY FAVOURITE VOICE OF THE BROTHERS BY FAR! OH MY GOD IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!
Lyrics: GAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! OKAY OKAY OKAY!!! So! These lyrics are so great because it's showing that soft side of Belphie that I adore! It's not his teasing side, it's the side that only Beel and MC really get to see and I just- I love it.
The whole "I will always wait for you" for some reason made me think of when he was stuck in the attic where literally the only thing he had to look forward to was MC coming to set him free and update him on how Beel was doing. And then afterward, he had to wait for them to be comfortable around him again because he knew that he messed up and he had to wait for their forgiveness. And then finally, Belphie has to wait for them to notice his feelings, amongst the obvious more showy feelings of his brothers and to hopefully maybe choose him 😭😭😭 SO GOOD
Second verse is his insecurities and I just ao;dusg;bfjnaduoh;szvbjxaui;dvkjx AAAAAAHHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN PUT IN TO WORDS!! WHY DO I LOVE THIS?!?!
FINAL THOUGHTS: THIS SONG ALONE HAS CAUSED ME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH BELPHEGOR ADU;SFBKJACDZS IT'S JUST SO PERFECT!!! His voice! The sound! The words! It has it all! I know I just said Beel's was my overall favourite, and I'm so so sorry Beelzebaby, but Belphie takes the cake. We get his anger, his sadness, his fondness, HIS DESPERATION, IT JUST HAS SO MUCH EMOTION!!!! I CAN'T GET OVER THIS SONG!
~~~~~~~
The songs were all incredible and I love them to bits. I feel like I know the brothers better know and I know have more feelings for Belphie than I know what to do with, so there's that 😅😅 If you're still here reading this, thanks for joining me on this chaotic journey and dealing with my bullshit. Love you guys ❤❤❤
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evolmaze · 3 years ago
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bts hyung line find/hear your confession
summary - hyung line finds or hears your confession
pairing - jin x reader, young x reader, hoseok x reader, namjoon x reader
genre - fluff, angst, comfort
word count - 3.1k words
warnings - some angst, otherwise pretty harmless!
a/n: parts for the maknae line will be out soon!
masterlist
JIN
You had spent weeks racking your brain for some sort of answer, for an explanation why you suddenly thought your friend and neighbor from down the hall was the only person for you. It had happened so quickly, you didn’t even realize. One night you’re watching a movie together, something you’ve done at least once a month, and the next thing you know your heart is racing at the idea of him being in the same room as you. You had no idea why you started to feel this way, but the instant you realized, you couldn’t stop yourself from constantly watching him, thinking of him, wondering what in the world you were gonna do.
You were currently on the phone with your best friend, complaining to her for the hundredth time about how rude it was that Jin thought it was perfectly normal to walk around the laundry room shirtless, “I mean come on f/n, he’s so hot it should be illegal. The man has the body of a god, and I as an innocent bystander should at least be given a warning before walking into it!”
“What do you mean ‘walked into it’?” she asked, amusement in her voice, and you groaned.
“I was doing laundry the other day, and I ran right into him as he was leaving the room, I dropped my clothes everywhere, and he totally saw my underwear and bras, but that’s not the point, the point is that he was shirtless, he was laughing at his clumsiness, and it was the hottest thing I had ever seen.”
It was at that moment that Jin had walked up to your door, preparing to ask you to borrow your hammer, when he heard your voice faintly through the wall.
“F/n, I don’t know what to do, I’ve literally never felt this way about someone before, and it’s not like I can even say anything, we barely know each other--yes I know we’ve hung out before, but everything feels different now, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll probably pass out the next time I see him, and if he’s not wearing a shirt again, oh my fucking god, plan my funeral please.”
Jin laughed quietly, deciding he could ask for the hammer later, he had other plans to attend to, like making sure to ask you about this supposed incident the next time he was in the laundry room; shirt conveniently off for your viewing pleasure.
YOONGI
“Hey I have a question,” Yoongi mused, turning down the radio. You and Yoongi were on your way to a cabin up north, planning to meet some friends there for a fun weekend getaway. You’d been on the road for almost two hours now, and he had decided that it was time to break the silence that had settled between the two of you.
“Yeah what’s up?” you asked, closing your book, and setting it in your bag. You waited as he beat his fingers rhythmically against the steering wheel.
“Who’s Voldemort?” you froze in your seat, and turned to him slowly, gauging his expression. How the hell did he know about that?
“Why do you ask?” you said slowly, thankful for your sunglasses that hid your panicked expression.
“When you asked me to grab your bag from your room, there was an envelope addressed to ‘Voldemort’sitting on it. Do you have a pen pal or something?”
No, no you did not have a pen pal. Stupidly, you had written your feelings to Yoongi out on paper, an ode to all the boys i’ve loved before. You  planned to store it away forever, never to be read again, in hopes of riding this stupid crush from your heart. All you wanted was peace, and the ability to hang with him without the looming cloud of love stalling over your head, but you must have forgotten to put it away before you left.
“Uh, no, no it’s not that,” you muttered, trying you best to sound nonchalant. “Just a letter I was writing to someone, probably won’t send it though.”
“Their name isn’t actually Voldemort, is it?”
You laughed, “No it’s not. It’s a pseudonym, my friends and I used it all the time to talk about boys we liked in middle school.”
Yoongi sat in silence for a second, and you hoped that that was the end of the conversation. “Do you like this Voldemort?”
You paled, and cleared your throat. “Uh, I don’t know, it’s complicated. I’m trying to get over them, so it’s probably best to not talk about it.”
Yoongi nodded, and didn’t say much for a while, and you assumed that was the end of it, thank god. The drive went on in silence, and you calmed down a bit, mentally cheering for evading a disastrous situation. You even talked with Yoongi about other topics like the weekends upcoming events, and how excited you were to try this new soju flavor. It was nice, peaceful, and definitely less stressful then the previous conversation. That was until you both started talking about college and first impressions. You had been explaining your thoughts on your other friends Namjoon and Lia when he stopped you.
“Wait,” he said suddenly, “Didn’t you and Lia have nicknames for everyone?”
“Yeah, we made up nicknames for everyone based on Harry Potter characters...” you said, trailing off on the end as you connected the dots.
“Yeah!” Yoongi exclaimed, oblivious. “Like yours was Ginny, Joon’s was Lupin, mine was..” he paused, looking over at you suspiciously. “Mine was Voldemordt, right?”
You shook your head, “Noooo, yours was something else I think.”
“Hmm, no I’m pretty sure it was Voldemordt,” he said. “Cause you and Lia always joked about how I was pale just like him,” You didn’t say anything in response, instead finding the dirt under your nails way more interesting.
“Y/n...” he called, pulling you from your thoughts. You didn’t look at him, too embarrassed to talk about it. “Hey, it’s fine, seriously.”
“Ah, can we please not talk about it,” you whined, putting your head in your hands. This was so awkward. You had written a middle school crush letter to the man sitting right next to you, and you still had to spend the whole weekend and ride back with him, great.
“Okay,” he said simply, tapping rhythmically on the steering wheel again. “I guess I’ll just have to wait to read it.”
“Oh no way, you’re not reading it!” you yelled, facing him as adrenaline raced through your veins. “I’m burning it the second we get back.”
“But why? I wanna hear all the nice things you said about me, you never compliment me in person.”
“Shut up,” you said, a blush blossoming on your cheeks. He laughed, lightly swatting your knee.
“So mean,” he teased. He lifted his hand to pull your hand from your face. You looked up, surprised by his action. He was never one for skinship, especially with you. “You know I’m joking, right?”
You nodded, “Yeah, no, I do, no worries, it’s fine”
“Good,” he said simply, bringing his hand back down the arm rest, except he hadn’t let go of your hand, so yours followed suit, held in his grasp. You stared intently at your intertwined hands, and then looked at him, confused. He was staring straight ahead, but you could see the smile forming on his face, and the red hue on his cheeks as well. Looks like you weren’t the only one with a secret.
HOSEOK
Hey y/n! Do you have a copy of the notes from last class that I can borrow?
You smiled at your phone, Hoseok had definitely slept through class again this week, and as always, you were more than willing to share notes, any excuse to talk to him, right?
Yeah for sure! Give me one sec and I’ll send you a link to my notes
You had always preferred to take notes on your computer, you could type way faster than you could write, so in fast-paced lectures it just made sense. You found the document within a folder the two of you shared information. With Hoseok consistently sleeping through one class every other week, and you having such detailed notes, it made much more sense to just put all your notes in a folder he could access. You found the latest document with your notes, and quickly shared it with him.
Just sent it now, it’s in the folder with all the other ones in case you need them too! Let me know if you have any questions!
Sounds great, thank youuuuu!!!
You grinned at his response before going back to your studying. He usually had questions, so you were a little surprised when he never texted you back. You figured maybe he understood it better than you, and made a mental note to ask him some questions next time you saw him. You went about the rest of your day, finishing up your homework, getting your laundry washed and put away, and four hours later, still no word from Hoseok.
“So weird,” you mumbled to yourself as you grabbed your keys. You had talked about meeting him for dinner tonight, so you wondered if he was still up for it.
Hey are you still up for dinner tonight? Hope studying is going well!
After 10 minutes, and no response, you grew worried and annoyed, so you decided to just walk over to his place yourself. The walk was short, you jammed the whole way, wondering what you’d get tonight, and hoping that your professor would put out grades soon. Walking into the dorm, you passed a number of doors before standing outside Hoseok’s.
You knocked three times, and waited patiently for him to answer. The door creaked open slowly, and you watched as his head appeared in the crack. He stared at you and said nothing.
You cleared your throat, “Uh, hey. I texted, but you didn’t answer, are you still down for dinner tonight?” He said nothing still, and you sighed. “It’s fine if you’re busy, I can go. Text me next time you’re free to hang.” You didn’t mean to sound annoyed, but you were hurt, confused why he was acting this way all of the sudden, especially with no explanation. Waving goodbye, you turned on your heel and walked down the hallway. You made it about three steps before he called out your name.
“Y/n, wait, I’m sorry.” turning around, confused, you saw him open the door. “Please come in.” He gave you a half smile, and you sighed, ignoring the smile that sat on your face as you entered his dorm. It was dark, his blinds were drawn, and it looked like a hurricane had come through here, which was odd since he was usually so clean.
“Hey what happened here? Everything okay?” you asked, worried, when you turned to face him he was standing by his desk, computer in hand.
“I--I, um, need you to read this,” he said, handing you his computer. You raised an eyebrow, and turned the computer around. As your eyes adjusted to the bright screen in the otherwise dark room, your heart dropped into your stomach.
It was about a week ago when you wrote a letter to Hoseok. It was 2 in the morning, you were so tired, but you couldn’t sleep, the whirlwind of thoughts running through your mind were too much to handle, so you wrote them all down. Wrote down everything you wanted to say, and closed your computer, never intending to read it again. What you had failed to notice that night was that you created the document inside a folder, the very folder you shared with the man in front of you. You had carelessly titled the document to hoseok so it’s no surprise that he clicked on it, he probably thought it was a funny message to him, but instead he got a look right inside your heart.
You looked up to see him already watching you closely. He looked pained, confused, and most of all angry. “Why would you say those things?”
“I, I, uh--” you paused, you knew at the time it was wrong to write them. He had a girlfriend, they’ve been together for almost a year, and they were so happy together, and you had no problem with that. You loved Julia, and had even introduced the two, but you also couldn’t help how you felt, you had no intention of him ever reading this, you felt awful. “I swear, I didn't realize this was in here, Hoseok I’m so sorry.”
“But you wrote it, and put it in this folder, you must have known I would have seen it at some point.” he protested, coming closer to you.
“I swear, I didn’t do it on purpose, I opened it in the wrong folder, I, oh my god, Hoseok I swear to god I never wanted you to read that.” you said, tears filling your eyes. You had jeopardized everything with your carelessness. He took the computer from your hands and set it on the desk. You couldn’t look him in the eyes as he sat next to you on his bed.
“I believe you,” he said quietly, and you nodded. “I’m sorry there’s not more I can say.”
You shook your head, “Why are you apologizing, it’s not your fault. I was the one who put it in the wrong folder. At least the worst part is over though,” you laughed weakly at the statement, the worst was far from over, but at least you could stop staying up at night wondering what he thought about you. “I’m sorry that you’re in such a weird position, I promise that I’m working on it, I’ve been trying to get over it.”
“You don’t have to apologize for what you feel, y/n.” he said, standing up in front of you. “This is nobody’s fault, let’s go get dinner and talk it out, yeah?”
You smiled at his attempt to smooth things over, you agreed, but a part of you wondered as you walked out the door how long it would last before you grew distant and never spoke again. For now, you’d cherish these last few memories with him, and always remember the times before it.
NAMJOON
“Just say it,”
“No!”
“Why not?!”
“Cause I already told you no!” you sighed in annoyance, flipping through another page in the magazine you were currently reading, or trying to read at least, until Namjoon showed up and rudely interrupted you.
“Come on, y’n, I need to practice!” you laughed at him, practice? What in the world was he thinking?
“You’re not seriously saying you want to practice this,” you said, setting down the magazine and facing him. He looked at you, and you realized he was serious. “Ugh, fine.”
He grinned, happy that he had finally convinced you to help him out. All of this started about a week ago when Namjoon caught wind that a girl in his bio class had a crush on him, the man absolutely lost it, so flustered and confused, he didn’t know what to do. You felt like you were watching a cheesy romantic comedy with the way he came to you, pacing back and forth in your living room. He was totally clueless, had no idea what to do, and came to you for help. You had been around the block a time or two when it came to dealing with situations like this, so it was no surprise that he wanted your expertise on how to politely reject someone.
It wasn’t that the girl in Namjoon’s bio class was awful or anything like that, it was the fact that Namjoon barely had time to live his own life, let alone make room for someone else. You were lucky if you spoke to him once a week, you practically had a heart attack when he showed up today. He explained to you the rumor he had heard, and how he had also heard that she was going to confess after their next class together. All of that combined was enough to stress the man into oblivion, so he desperately asked for your help.
“y/n thank you so much, I just don’t want to hurt her feelings, you know?”
“You’re literally the nicest person I know, there’s no way she would leave feeling anything but mildly sad, knowing you, you'd probably offer to pay for her bus fare home.” The look on his face had you laughing as it looked as though he was seriously considering it. “I’m kidding, Joon. Don’t do that.”
“What?” he said, “I definitely wasn’t gonna do that.”
You smirked at his obvious lie, “Whatever, let’s get this over with.” Taking a breath, you tried to get into character: a biology girl who likes Namjoon. “Hey Namjoon,” you said, trying to sound flirty and leaned casually on the side of the couch.
“Hey, y/n-”
“Don’t use my name,” you laughed, “use her name.”
“Oh okay,” he said, and he took a breath before looking into your eyes, “Hey, Emily. What’s up?”
“Nothing much, I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about,” you said, getting up from the couch, and walking over to where he stood by the kitchen island.
“Oh what’s that?” he asked, moving away from you just a bit. Your act must have been spot on, you smirked.
“I have feelings for you, Joon.” you said, trying to sound nervous and excited, however the hell someone sounded when they admitted their feelings. You were never one to discuss such personal topics, probably the reason why you were single at 23, but whatever, you liked it that way. Poor Namjoon looked terrified, and you’d take being single over being the cause of a situation like this any day.
“Oh,” he said simply, and you raised your eyebrows at him. “I-oh, I’m sorry, y/n--Emily, I’m way too busy for a relationship right now, I’m sorry.”
You grinned at his attempt, it was weak, but you’d work on it. By the end of the night, he’d be confident and sound sure of his feelings, you could feel it. 
“Okay,” you said, patting his shoulder. “That was good, but next time sound more sure of yourself, your reasons are perfectly valid, and if she’s as nice as you say she is, I’m sure she’ll understand. Again.”
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