#Though it's been a while since I read that issue
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So, I did this not with a villain, but with an NPC from a D&D campaign Iâm running on a day where the group didnât meet. Itâs under the cut if you wanna give it a read!
(CW: discussion of death, resurrection, the afterlife, and murder)
Subreddit: r/relationshipadvice
Title: I havenât seen my husband in 5 years (because I was dead) and I just found out that he left our daughter with his mother for that whole time.
Posted by u/Lovemordian
Apologies in advance if my Common isnât great; it isnât my first language.
I (21F) was recently resurrected by a party member of my husbandâs (now 26M) after dying in his arms five years ago. Admittedly, the experience was wonderful, since I had always hoped that magic was real and not just the stuff of childrenâs stories, and I am not upset at living once more. The afterlife isâŚwell, itâs beyond what I need to discuss here.
The issue I am having is this: while I was dead, I was comforted in the knowledge that our daughter (now 8F) was not going to grow up completely parentless even if I could not be with her. However, when I saw her again after returning to life, she mentioned that her grandmother, my husbandâs mother, had been caring for her this whole time. She did not grow up with her father, and the one thought that had kept me sane while wandering the fields of the waiting became a lie.
He says that he left her behind with his parents to ensure that no one would use her to pressure him, that the Flesh Collectors wouldnât use her as bait to get to him. Though I understand the logic of this, I canât help but feel a bit disappointed. It feels like heâs trying to be the man he was 5 years ago, but I know heâs gone through much in my absence and I wish he would just be honest with me about it. Does anyone have any advice for how to talk to him about this? In some ways, it does feel a bit as if Iâm approaching him as a stranger once more.
Update: Thank you to all who replied with your advices and your recommendations. I do want to answer a few of the questions I saw most frequently:
1) Apparently, he tried to avenge my murder after the judge had been paid off, stealing a highly advanced prototypical weapon designed by a classmate of ours (27 NB) to do it. This is why the Flesh Collectors were after him and why he apparently joined a guild for thieves and assassins that, if I understood him right, was run by a staff member at the university? I donât know; he seems more comfortable speaking Common than Lamordian, so I may be misunderstanding things.
2) Flesh Collectors are sort of like a police force, but more than anything they are scavengers who harvest body parts that scientists need for their work. The âethicalâ ones wait until a body is dead to harvest. The majority of them are not ethical.
Now, onto the update: I had the open conversation with my husband that so many of you recommended. I just asked him to tell me what kinds of things had happened while I was dead, and he was honest with me, just as I always remember him being.
While he was on the run for his vengeance, he fell in with the guild I mentioned and did âless than honorable thingsâ to put aside money for our daughterâs future. At first, I thought he was implying that he had sold intimate favors, but he clarified that it was killing people. He did put aside quite a bit, over 10,000 gp, so I do think it was well-meant. And our daughter seems to hold no resentment toward him, so I donât suppose I should either. For anyone out there who has been resurrected after a while, is this distance Iâm feeling just a symptom of that, or is it something I should be concerned about? Perhaps I should speak to my mother-in-law, as she has always been a source of wisdom in my life. I donât think I will need to update further, but if more developments happen, I will be sure to let you all know.
if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.
#d&d#just DM things#these characters are so sweet I love them so much#Odysseus and Penelope in Epic vibes
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I know itâs been a while since I post so hereâs some Hazbin art. I may upload some more Lucifer and Alastor stuff in the future. I honestly gave up on this because my app kept crashing so itâs kinda messy in some places and a bit all over the place.
This takes place after season 1. Lucifer is trying to heal Alastorâs wound and senses a foreign energy in him. Then a bunch of arguing later, he finds out that itâs Lilith. So, then it clicks for him as to why Alastor was/is at the hotel.
Iâm currently working on a fic of it so if youâre interested in reading it, maybe Iâll continue it. Iâll just have to see how my motivation is. [,:
â
I do make ship art of them but as an aroace person, I donât think Iâll be making any NSFW stuff of them because idk if I feel comfy about that. Iâll just see what Iâm personally comfortable with in the future though! If I do, I will NOT be anything too graphic or intense because yeah, no.. the art that will be uploaded of them will mainly just be crack/chaotic art and fluffy, domestic stuff of them. Lol.
Soooo, anyways, enjoy my phone doodle! I cramped my fingers drawing this and wanted to chuck my phone across my room because I had to restart this drawing multiple times because my sketchbook app would crash and wouldnât save anything. QvQ đ
(This is also gonna be a mini-comic so this is just the first panel of a very short comic thingy. Lmao.)
â
(Also, side note, if you donât ship it, thatâs fine. However, please do NOT attack me or any other shippers in reblogs or comments with the statement of us betraying the aroace community or something like that. I am Aroace myself and itâs hurtful to be told that by people who I share a fandom with. I am on a similar spectrum as Alastor and itâs very hard for me to develop those kind of genuine attractions but that doesnât mean that myself or other aroace people are not capable of those things. I feel infantilised when I see non-aro and non-ace folk speaking up on our behalf. I donât mind it, per se, but when they act like they are the final say of our community, thatâs where I personally take issue. If I am offended by something, I will speak up, I feel like Iâm being treated like a child when people do stuff like that.
I do not personally need a non-aroace person speaking up on my behalf. Iâm not offended when I see ship art regarding the character of Alastor. I DO get offended when people completely erase his asexuality, act like he has no idea has his anatomy works/infantilise him, erase his boundaries, etc. if youâre making art and fics with care and consideration toward his identity then Iâm completely okay. Just be respectful.
I have seen/read some NSFW stuff regarding that character where the artist does handle it with care and respect. I have seen others that.. well.. donât do that. Lol.
If someone is being genuinely disrespectful toward my community then please say something but DO NOT harass people over simple domestic SFW fanart. Just be nice to people please!!!! I will turn off comments or remove the comments if you attack people over a ship. Know that I am NOT the final say either. This is my personal input and opinion and do not take this as gospel!)
Art is meant to be loved and enjoyed. So, just enjoy and be kind to people please! đđ
#hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin alastor#hazbin art#fanart#radioapple#radioapple comic#alastor the radio demon#appleradio#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar#lucifer x alastor#alastor#the radio demon#alastor x lucifer#lucifer is a quack. literally.#king of hell#my fingers are dying#help me Satan..#ace alastor#hazbin hotel comic#hazbin hotel art
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absolutely obsessed with how you draw vampire dick [and with the titans? itâs the story we deserve but will never have]
aww thank youuu! something about him as a vampire gives me the sillies happy to hear you like it!^^
#ask me anything#It's kinda funny how many people mention DC vs. Vampires#but I agree it's sad they immediately killed off the characters who would have had the funniest reactions to a vampire society#In general#a lot of immediate deaths.#Would have been interesting to see more of the Justice League and Batfamily reaction and them trying to rehabilitate them.#But that's probably not the mood they were going for.#I guess that's what fan art is for. ^^#Though it's been a while since I read that issue#I could remember some things wrong.
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Ok, so I know that the GIW base got blown to smithereens but if they really are a part of the government then there is probably at least 1 in each state, meaning Danny isn't as safe as he first thought and that brings in so much potential angst. So ima give a small prompt/scenario to the people who actually know what's going on in these fandoms other than the odd episode or two that they watched when they were still a kid.
The GIW that were stationed in New Jersey had recently gotten a very strong reading from the city of Gotham, and while the place usually has a lower reading thanks to what's constantly happening in that hell city this is way more than normal, so they go and investigate it. This team likely hasn't heard of Phantom before, and if they did they think he died in the explosion, so when they go to investigate and inevitably find Trickster during the night they think that he's a new ghost harassing the living and causing problems. Danny on the other hand is scared shit-less when he sees this group of GIW and immediately freaks out, having thought he had gotten rid of them or at least away from them when he set the bomb off, so he immediately goes to flee in terror. As he was fleeing them though one of the agents managed to hit him in the abdomen with one of their weapons, and while not a direct hit it's still really bad. Like it's causing him unimaginable pain and making his powers freak out badly, so he is crying as he holds his bleeding stomach as he desperately tries to get away from these guys.
Eventually, at some point of him fleeing, he runs into another rogue somehow, maybe he runs into Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy or something idk. But what matters is that this kid, who has never shown anything goofy kindness, even in the few rogue fights he's been in (and those are more so just bickering or him being a lighthearted prankster), is crying and absolutely terrified with a horrendous injury to his abdomen that's somehow causing his powers to freak out. Whoever found him knows this couldn't have been one of the bats or birds since they wouldn't hurt a rogue this bad, so they assume it to be another rogue (probably Joker or someone of the like) and go to beat them up cuz no one attack The Friendliest Rogue(â˘) but instead of it being a rogue it's a group of government agents from out of town, immediately making them more pissed off. So they quickly deal with the threat before going back to focusing on Trickster to try and help him while also somehow passing word on to the other more decent rogues to keep an eye out for any government issues who are in white because they tried to murder the Golden Retriever Puppy (Danny) and eventually this gets into the greater public and now everyone hates the GIW, because while Trickster maybe strangely friendly he is a Gothamite through and through and nobody messes with one of their own.
As this is going down the rogue(s) who found him are attempting to help heal this poor guy who is absolutely terrified and in an unbearable amount of pain and learn a couple things.
1. This is a literal child.
2. He has a ton of scars, especially lichtenberg scars.
3. He has a very bad history with this specific group of government people and is absolutely terrified of being dissected by them.
4. He wasn't born with his powers and misses his parents (probably mumbled this one in his sleep or when he was in too much pain to think straight).
This ends up leading to the conclusion that Trickster was likely kidnapped as a small child by the government and experimented on him. This makes everyone even MORE pissed and ready to throw down with these assholes.
GOTHAM'S NEW ROGUE 3
-An hour before-
Danny is hatching a new plan today. Usually, he goes after the rogues who decide to make a spectacle or show for the public. But today, he will be the one to make it.
As all the devices are put together, Danny readies himself to turn on the screen. Lightly slapping his cheeks a few times Danny brace himself for his first solo stream.
*Live On*
Trickster: Well hello everyone! Isn't today unusually too peaceful. With all the rogues in Arkham and no one for me to bother, I decided to do the most out of my time.
Danny walks to a big hulking machine under wraps by a big piece of cloth. Danny pulls the cloth revealing a big machinery that has a giant clock in the middle.
Trickster: Over here I have my latest invention. I realized that people in this city really love coffee so what I do is make a machine that will spread gasses of caffeine into the air for people to consume via breathing. I even make sure that the special caffeine concoction wouldn't affect children because if I know one thing, it is that children with caffeine are scarier than any rogue.
Danny walks to the panel with a comically large red button with the word 'start' on it right under the clock.
Trickster: Now, when I click this button, it will turn on the timer, which is 30 minutes by the way, and when it runs out, the machine will release the caffeine into the air making everyone unable to sleep for one whole day. What is the effect on the city you may ask? I honestly don't know. But it will be funny if tomorrow everyone just drops dead asleep on the ground at work tomorrow.
Danny suddenly stops talking and slams the button heavily.
Trickster: Anyway, the timer starts now. Come find me if you wanna stop it.
Danny then leaves the screen and lets the camera focus on the clock as it ticks down. Danny sits on a nearby table and continues tinkering with his new special glitter bomb.
It's been 30 minutes when suddenly a window is broken and comes in Batman in all his glory. Except what Batman sees isn't the machine or even Trickster. It is a maze full of what he deems as traps laying around. Batman carefully trudges through the maze as he skillfully disarms the traps that are laid on the ground.
It takes Batman a whole 25 minutes to finally pass the maze before he finally sees the machine without Trickster anywhere in sight. He slowly and vigilantly approaches the machine and sees a small blue button with the word 'stop' right beside the red button.
If Batman had more time, he wouldn't have done anything rash but right now he doesn't have the time nor the ability to safely disarm the machine without making any mistake.
He pushes the button and the clock stops right then and there. He stares at his surrounding vigilantly expecting an ambush. And he is not wrong. There is indeed an ambush. Just not a normal ambush.
The machine that has stopped moving suddenly begins to shake heavily and Batman immediately jumps back to distance himself from whatever the machine is about to do.
Except when he lands, an ice forms under his legs trapping him and he tries to break the ice but the ice is very hard and impossible for him to break immediately at least. He is going to request for backups when the machine turns into tiny robots that start to surround him. He tries to smash all of them but not only are they strong and durable, EMP bombs also don't work on them.
After struggling for a while, some of the robots finally climb their way onto his head. One of them hangs from his mask and releases a gas from its mouth. Batman starts to lose consciousness and just as he is about to pass out Trickster appears in front of him.
Danny looks at Batman and orders his robots to tie him upside down, while rummages through his belt. Danny pulls out a lot of things from smoke bomb that accidentally explodes when Danny throws them to a bat shark repellent? What the hell? Anyway, after going through his belt for a while he finally found his target.
The Batwallet.
Danny turns to the hidden camera and starts to monologue.
Trickster: Hello hello everyone. Today, we have a very special guest. Presenting to you an unconscious Batman! And right here I have the strongest weapon in the world. The Batwallet! Hahahahaha.
Trickster: Now, you might be thinking. What is so strong about the wallet? And that my dear friend is the reason I am here today. Let's take a look at what's inside shall we.
Danny pulls out a black card with a bat symbol in the middle of it. Showing it to the camera, Danny gives out the biggest smile he can (somehow).
Trickster: This is the Bat credit card. I know. Sounds stupid. But you know what isn't stupid. The limit on this card. There is no limit. That means I can buy whatever I want with this.
Danny then pulls out a few polaroid pictures from the wallet that catches his attention.
Trickster: What's this? The bats secret identity? Boring. Why would I need to know who they are? Wait. This one is funny. Is this little Nightwing? Hahahaha. He's so little. *Gasp* Little Red Hood. Aww schmuck. I wanna share this with someone. I'm keeping this. I'm sure Batman has backup of these pictures.
Danny then phases the card and the photos into his body and picks up the camera.
Trickster: All right. That's it for today's stream. Oh yeah. We are in the warehouse south of the Bowery. I will shoot a flare after this for you to come get Batman. Well, you better come fast or other people will come for him.
After that the stream is cut off and a flare is shot from one of the warehouses in the Bowery. When the Bats arrived, all that was left was an unconscious Batman, tied up from the ceiling with his belt on the ground.
While the bats are busy extracting Batman back to the cave, Danny is having a feast at the Batburger. On his table, there are 50 sets of burgers, fries and cokes (the soda). Along with his food, he has pretty much paid all the food for everyone inside the Batburger. People were pretty on the fence when he first entered, but Gothamite being Gothamite, they readily accepted him when he paid for their food.
While Danny is busy eating, a big buff guy in a suit approaches him with his own food.
???: Good evening, Mr. Trickster. May I eat with you?
#danny phantom#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#batfam#justice league#idk what im doing#its almost 4am here and am tired#just throwin out a random idea
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I'm convinced the chorus trilogy gaslighted people into forgetting how everyone was characterized prior to miles being the main writer, to the detriment of literally everybody lmao
#rvb#red vs blue#mine#this is not to say miles is a bad writer#but rather he is only one of rvb's multiple writers and his writing style is very different from burnie's#so imo looking at characters solely through the lens of miles writing style is a disservice to them as while his recontextualization of som#characters works very well for others...not so much. miles' interpretation of some characters conflict with burnie's interpretation#and these conflicts result in two very different readings of the same character that are imo fundamentally different from one another#wash and sarge are two examples that immediately come to mind but I dont feel like diving into that atm#though I don't think sarge is as bad off as wash during chorus (s10 is wash's worst season) since he was already goofy af#but being regulated solely to comedic relief when his issues with not being considered a real soldier#in combination with the knowledge that he was once an odst would've been SO FUCKING COOL to explore on chorus#he would've been a way better foil to locus than wash#I hate the whole wash/locus foil thing in general though so I might just be biased lol
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think itâs time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo ⌠unwell. wasnât out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time weâd been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didnât tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didnât like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause sheâd blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether sheâs there or not#she said âyeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too đâ she used that fucking emoji#and I havenât spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isnât fair she replied so casually to my text when I said âyouâve blocked meâ#it isnât fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I havenât even written about my family issues (im#out and theyâre supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi đ hope you are having a lovely day#donât get in lesbian situationships!!!
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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees
#lizzierants#had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly#caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because#theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry#that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing#good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me#someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with#my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am#overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back#this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf#i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec#ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help#and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here#most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much#anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking#terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine#is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because#they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate#this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start#crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3#i will heal and ill be okay <3
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we have a dentist appointment tomorrow and on the plus side we're not really anxious about the appointment itself because the dentist was so nice last time and actually took our medical trauma into account.
unfortunately though we do have to have anaesthetic which makes us feel like shit for at least the rest of the day, and no matter how considerate the dentist is, having a medical professional touch us at all does still trigger certain trauma and then I end up having a bunch of panic attacks at some point within the next few days and it's a really shit time. I really don't wanna have to deal with that and the concept of it is making me nauseous
#personal#thoughts#đŹ post#vent post#<- kinda#medical trauma#(this turned into a long rant about medical trauma and consent so here's your warning for that if you read the tags)#I didn't like medical professionals touching me anyway but ever since the stuff last April when we went to the hospital#it's been a way bigger issue and I end up being an absolute wreck for a while because of it#I cannot begin to express how much I do not want a medical professional touching me at all but especially not in my mouth#and any other situation where someone shoves their fingers in your mouth when you don't want them to would be considered really violating#but because it's for medical reasons and we have to put up with it if we actually want treatment nobody around us seems to see it like that#same goes for various other medical procedures where it's like if a stranger touched me like that when I really didn't want them to#in any other situation that would be assault but because it's a medical setting I'm expected to just be okay with it???#idk I probably haven't explained any of this right but I just don't like that people treat medical stuff as a special scenario#that's exempt from causing the same distress as any other scenario where someone touches you when you don't want them to#even though our brain is processing them the same way and we can't magically make that not happen#I know technically with medical procedures you (usually?) consent#but it's like... the choice is either consent to it or have your health keep getting worse#and once again in any other situation if your choices were to either consent or experience physical harm#that wouldn't really be considered consent and would be really distressing#I'm literally only consenting out of fear of what happens if I don't which... technically isn't consent but what choice do I have#idk this stuff is probably an issue specifically because of our trauma#but even still I would like to be taken seriously when I say I feel violated after medical procedures
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average United States contains 1000s of pet tigers in backyards" factoid actualy [sic] just statistical error. average person has 0 tigers on property. Activist Georg, who lives the U.S. Capitol & makes up over 10,000 each day, has purposefully been spreading disinformation adn [sic] should not have been counted
I have a big mad today, folks. It's a really frustrating one, because years worth of work has been validated... but the reason for that fucking sucks.
For almost a decade, I've been trying to fact-check the claim that there "are 10,000 to 20,000 pet tigers/big cats in backyards in the United States." I talked to zoo, sanctuary, and private cat people; I looked at legislation, regulation, attack/death/escape incident rates; I read everything I could get my hands on. None of it made sense. None of it lined up. I couldn't find data supporting anything like the population of pet cats being alleged to exist. Some of you might remember the series I published on those findings from 2018 or so under the hashtag #CrouchingTigerHiddenData. I've continued to work on it in the six years since, including publishing a peer reviewed study that counted all the non-pet big cats in the US (because even though they're regulated, apparently nobody bothered to keep track of those either).
I spent years of my life obsessing over that statistic because it was being used to push for new federal legislation that, while well intentioned, contained language that would, and has, created real problems for ethical facilities that have big cats. I wrote a comprehensive - 35 page! - analysis of the issues with the then-current version of the Big Cat Public Safety Act in 2020. When the bill was first introduced to Congress in 2013, a lot of groups promoted it by fear mongering: there's so many pet tigers! they could be hidden around every corner! they could escape and attack you! they could come out of nowhere and eat your children!! Tiger King exposed the masses to the idea of "thousands of abused backyard big cats": as a result the messaging around the bill shifted to being welfare-focused, and the law passed in 2022.
The Big Cat Public Safety Act created a registry, and anyone who owned a private cat and wanted to keep it had to join. If they did, they could keep the animal until it passed, as long as they followed certain strictures (no getting more, no public contact, etc). Donât register and get caught? Cat is seized and major punishment for you. Registering is therefore highly incentivized. That registry closed in June of 2023, and you can now get that registration data via a Freedom of Information Act request.
Guess how many pet big cats were registered in the whole country?
97.
Not tens of thousands. Not thousands. Not even triple digits. 97.
And that isn't even the right number! Ten USDA licensed facilities registered erroneously. That accounts for 55 of 97 animals. Which leaves us with 42 pet big cats, of all species, in the entire country.
Now, I know that not everyone may have registered. There's probably someone living deep in the woods somewhere with their illegal pet cougar, and there's been at least one random person in Texas arrested for trying to sell a cub since the law passed. But - and here's the big thing - even if there are ten times as many hidden cats than people who registered them - that's nowhere near ten thousand animals. Obviously, I had some questions.
Guess what? Turns out, this is because it was never real. That huge number never had data behind it, wasn't likely to be accurate, and the advocacy groups using that statistic to fearmonger and drive their agenda knew it... and didn't see a problem with that.
Allow me to introduce you to an article published last week.
This article is good. (Full disclose, I'm quoted in it). It's comprehensive and fairly written, and they did their due diligence reporting and fact-checking the piece. They talked to a lot of people on all sides of the story.
But thing that really gets me?
Multiple representatives from major advocacy organizations who worked on the Big Cat Publix Safety Act told the reporter that they knew the statistics they were quoting weren't real. And that they don't care. The end justifies the means, the good guys won over the bad guys, that's just how lobbying works after all. They're so blase about it, it makes my stomach hurt. Let me pull some excerpts from the quotes.
"Whatever the true number, nearly everyone in the debate acknowledges a disparity between the actual census and the figures cited by lawmakers. âThe 20,000 number is not real,â said Bill Nimmo, founder of Tigers in America. (...) For his part, Nimmo at Tigers in America sees the exaggerated figure as part of the political process. Prior to the passage of the bill, he said, businesses that exhibited and bred big cats juiced the numbers, too. (...) âIâm not justifying the hyperbolic 20,000,â Nimmo said. âIn the world of comparing hyperbole, the good guys won this one.â
"Michelle Sinnott, director and counsel for captive animal law enforcement at the PETA Foundation, emphasized that the law accomplished what it was set out to do. (...) Specific numbers are not what really matter, she said: âWhether thereâs one big cat in a private home or whether thereâs 10,000 big cats in a private home, the underlying problem of industry is still there.â"
I have no problem with a law ending the private ownership of big cats, and with ending cub petting practices. What I do have a problem with is that these organizations purposefully spread disinformation for years in order to push for it. By their own admission, they repeatedly and intentionally promoted false statistics within Congress. For a decade.
No wonder it never made sense. No wonder no matter where I looked, I couldn't figure out how any of these groups got those numbers, why there was never any data to back any of the claims up, why everything I learned seemed to actively contradict it. It was never real. These people decided the truth didn't matter. They knew they had no proof, couldn't verify their shocking numbers... and they decided that was fine, if it achieved the end they wanted.
So members of the public - probably like you, reading this - and legislators who care about big cats and want to see legislation exist to protect them? They got played, got fed false information through a TV show designed to tug at heartstrings, and it got a law through Congress that's causing real problems for ethical captive big cat management. The 20,000 pet cat number was too sexy - too much of a crisis - for anyone to want to look past it and check that the language of the law wouldn't mess things up up for good zoos and sanctuaries. Whoops! At least the "bad guys" lost, right? (The problems are covered somewhat in the article linked, and I'll go into more details in a future post. You can also read my analysis from 2020, linked up top.)
Now, I know. Something something something facts don't matter this much in our post-truth era, stop caring so much, that's just how politics work, etc. Iâm sorry, but no. Absolutely not.
Laws that will impact the welfare of living animals must be crafted carefully, thoughtfully, and precisely in order to ensure they achieve their goals without accidental negative impacts. We have a duty of care to ensure that. And in this case, the law also impacts reservoir populations for critically endangered species! We can't get those back if we mess them up. So maybe, just maybe, if legislators hadn't been so focused on all those alleged pet cats, the bill could have been written narrowly and precisely.
But the minutiae of regulatory impacts aren't sexy, and tiger abuse and TV shows about terrible people are. We all got misled, and now we're here, and the animals in good facilities are already paying for it.
I don't have a conclusion. I'm just mad. The public deserves to know the truth about animal legislation they're voting for, and I hope we all call on our legislators in the future to be far more critical of the data they get fed.
#big cats#tiger king#my research#news#big cat public safety act#animal welfare#big cat welfare#legislation and regulation#vent post#long post#crouchingtigerhiddendata#more on the problems with the bill in the future
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New AO3 Tag Wrangling Policy and the Transformers Fandom
Edit in the event people come back to the original post: Please do not email AO3 about this issue. See their response about this issue!
(This is a long one, folks, but I think it's important.)
A new tag-wrangling policy on AO3 has the potential to create some massive confusion and chaos in the Transformers fanfic community, with regards to fandom tags. There is a Reddit post about it here with a focus on anime fandoms, but I want to give some concrete examples for the Transformers fandom on why we DO NOT WANT this, and why I think it's a horrible idea.
The Problem
Basically, AO3 is looking to get rid of the "All Media Types" fandom tag across the board, either by dismantling them or just not maintaining them. The Transformers - All Media Types tag has been an all-purpose tag that you could select when your story doesn't fall into any one specific continuity. Additionally, all most (see below) TF continuities on AO3 are considered a subtag of the Transformers - All Media Types tag. For example, if you look at the link above for all works in the All Media Types tag, you will see fics that are also tagged ONLY with Transformers: Animated, because it falls under the All Media Types tag.
One exception: With the upcoming Transformers: One movie coming out imminently, there will likely be a big influx of stories tagged with Transformers: One. In fact, there are several already. However, it hasn't been linked to the larger Transformers - All Media Types tag yet. I wasn't worrying about it though, because I know these things can take time.
With information about this new tagging policy, however, I'm now wondering whether it'll EVER get linked to the All Media Types tag. If that happens, and when more continuities are developed in the coming years (since you know Hasbro loves creating new universes) this has the potential to cause massive confusion when looking for stories to read.
Searching for Stories with the New Tagging System
So let's say the All Media Types fandom tag isn't accurate anymore, because it no longer includes ALL of the continuities (such as TF:One). You will need to include ALL the Transformers continuities when browsing for TF fics.
How many tags is that? Well, here are all of the tags currently listed under the Transformers - All Media Types tag:
Note that this doesn't include Transformers: One since it hasn't been categorized yet.
You will potentially have to have 40 or more different fandom tags in your search, just in case the author tagged their story with something you weren't expecting.
This massively decreases the findability of a story.
Tagging with the New System
The email response from the Tag Wrangling group (see the linked Reddit post above) seems to be a bit flip in the response to the user's concern. "...encourages creators to tag with the media they intend."
While I appreciate what they are attempting to do, this policy change feels like a solution in search of a problem, especially in larger fandoms with multiple continuities, versions, and media types that are all cross-pollinated in both canon and fanon. While I'm focusing on Transformers fandom, imagine a creator in the DC comic universe writing a story that incorporates bits and pieces from a dozen different reboots.
For example, let's say that I am writing a fic about Ratchet. I am using the setting of the original G1 episodes, but I also am using the characterization of him as a bit of an old man grump. That characterization originated in the Animated continuity, but I want to incorporate bits of pieces of his other characterizations as well (old friend of Optimus from TFP, Ratchet ran a faction-free clinic like he did in the War for Cybertron series, he's got a Decepticon boyfriend like in IDW1 - or maybe even Cyberverse, etc.)
With this new tagging structure, I might potentially have to tag the story with ALL of those continuities. So instead of just slapping down the "All Media Types" tag (and maybe one other fandom tag that matches the characters as best I can), I'll have to analyze my story and try to figure out how best to tag for the characters I used.
And what if you're doing a completely AU version of the story? For example, a humanformers story, or merformers? Using the All Media Types tag along with a Alternate Universe - Human or Alternate Universe - Mermaid tag worked perfectly, since you weren't writing the story to fit into one specific continuity. But now, that might not be an option.
What To Do??
The first thing I would suggest is to contact AO3 (using the Feedback and Support page) and let them know (nicely) that you think this is a horrible idea. Give them some examples on how you use the All Media Types tag to find stories to read, or to help you tag a story. People outside of the Transformers fandom don't always appreciate how absolutely tangled the continuities can be with each other, and providing examples might help them see why this would be a really messy change.
Readers: Be aware that when you are looking in the All Media Types tag, it will no longer show newer continuities. And if AO3 starts dismantling that tag like they suggested they are doing, be aware that some stories won't show up in that tag like they used to. You can also create and then bookmark a custom search page that includes all 40+ continuities. REALLY annoying, but it's a workaround.
Writers: Until they start dismantling the All Media Types tag, ALWAYS ALWAYS tag your stories using Transformers - All Media Types... Especially for newer continuities. This will be especially important if you are writing a Transformers: One story. Right now, anyone who is only browsing the All Media Types tag will not see a story tagged only with Transformers: One. Make sure you're aware of how tags work and how they can affect the visibility and findability of your story.
Epilogue
Ugh. That's a lot of words for a long-weekend Saturday. And maybe I'm overreacting a tiny bit. But my work involves information architecture, and this change just absolutely baffles me. It's almost as though they want to make it harder to find stories. Considering that AO3 won a Hugo partially because of its fantastic tagging system, this change seems like AO3 is doing its best to shoot itself in the foot.
When you have a square hole, a round hole, and a rectangular hole⌠Yeah, you DO want each peg to go in the "right" hole. But if all of the pegs fit in the square hole, who cares? You got the job done.
I love you @ao3org, but please reconsider this change... Especially for IPs that are as old and are as varied as Transformers.
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ENHA HYUNG LINE â YOUR GIRLFRIENDâS DADDY ! (they all have daddy kinks. sorry.) part 1 !!
P. enha hyung line + jungwon x fem!reader (17+) | W. unprotected sex, infidelity (but itâs valid), mentions of cheating, lots of pet names, cervix & womb fucking, enha r jealous & feral, breeding kink, biting & marking, other members from diff kpop groups being assholes & getting fucked over (this is just fiction donât come at me), lots of other filthy shit i forgot | WC. 12k (idek how that happened) | A,N. this one has been in the drafts since july. and i just finished it up while waiting for my doctorâs appointment, enjoy!
IN WHICH the hyung line (+ jungwon) get addicted to a pussy that doesnât belong to them in the first place ?!
⥠PS this part contains heeseung, jake & jungwon !! <3
⡠LEE HEESEUNG â ě´íŹěš
the one thing that always stood out about heeseung, a striking trait that he carried was his exceptional ability to hide his emotions.
though this odd trait of his did have its own pros and cons that appeared and made themselves pretty evident throughout his life, heeseung still thought this was a good characteristic about himself.
it helped a lot to hide his emotions when he lied, when he tried to make an excuse as to why he forgot to do his homework. when asked from his friends if he was feeling down and the list went on. to put things short, he was the exact opposite of an open book that was easily read.
but heeseung started to slowly doubt this speciality of his, especially when it came to his bestfriend. and his little sister, you.
jeno has always been a great friend of heeseung, their small age gap making the two feel comfortable with one another immediately after meeting. the friendship had a click of some sort, almost making them feel like theyâve known each other for decades when theyâve only been friends for a handful amount of months.
and heeseung wasnât stopping his grateful and happy emotions to spill out whenever he was with jeno, the kind hearted guy that he always saw as a solid, constant figure in his life and future.
the issue came for heeseung when you, jenoâs cute little sister that he always seemed to eye for a bit too long, got into a relationship.
your first relationship at that.
jeno, as your older brother was rightfully protective, giving you advice every chance he could after checking up on you and your boyfriend, soobin. whom always rubbed jeno the wrong way. but he didnât have the courage to point it out to you and potentially break your heart, it was a risk he could never take.
but if there was someone that was even more concerned and even more protectiveâ overly protective even, than jeno. it was heeseung.
there was something about soobin that always seemed to just not settle with heeseung. he couldnât tell if it was his weirdly âforgetful memoryâ as you liked to call it, or the way his eyes were constantly glued to his phone whenever you four decided to hang out. not giving you a singular ounce of the attention you deserved.
his behaviour towards you, his own girlfriend, was dry. cold. dismissive. and he couldnât tell if jeno was purposefully turning a blind eye into this, but it was so clearly hurting you.
especially with the way your shoulders would visibly slump whenever you would excitedly tell soobin about an a new event that happened during your lecture, an interest that had your eyes sparkling while he would just nod mindlessly along to your words. vision obstructed and glued onto his stupid phone screen that irritated heeseung to no end. he could see the disappointment rising in you when soobin would pay you no attention. so passive in his responses, so visible that he did not care.
and it was angering heeseung so tremendously. setting him off like a ticking bomb that would explode at the guy any second but he kept holding himself back.
for the sake of jeno. for the sake of you. after all, he was just a friend.
and he couldnât tell if soobinâs attitude towards you angered him more, or the fact that he was always going to be stuck under the âfriendâ title in your life.
heeseung had developed feelings for you way before you got into a relationship with soobin, might even be a mere month after jeno introduced you to him. he had always had his eyes lingering on you. a soft, gentle glint in them whenever your presence was surrounding him in any way.
he believed that it was just him forming a soft spot for you in his heart in the beginning, but as time passed by, especially after soobin ruined everything in heeseungâs opinion, his feelings grew. becoming a solidified fact for heeseung instead of a mere reverie that he cooed about in his head.
yet for the longest time, he knew he had to keep his emotions hidden again. falling back into his old routine of covering, blanketing his feelings. hiding and cowering away in fear of your brother finding out and the dear connection that heeseung held so close to his heart ending.
so he bit his tongue. holding back any words, any opinions, any thoughts and of course any emotions that were related to you and soobin. swallowing back his anger that swirled sombrely in the pit of his stomach. though no one was taking notice of his hatred towards soobin, it was only growing more and more day by day.
like a foul stench that would blind your senses, an evil beast that festered malignantly. his distaste towards soobin became a hardened feeling. a prominent one that settled in the front of his chest. growing and branching between his ribs to only pulse in hatred whenever he saw the guy.
he wasnât sure how long heâll be able to hide these feelings though.
because not only was he now dealing with the fact that he had to fight himself back from punching soobin everytime he saw him, he also had his own completely opposite emotions that bloomed like the breathtaking petals of a flower when graced by spring sunlight, his undying and thriving pure love for you.
it made his heart ache in dull pain when he saw the damage soobin was causing to you. his own insides ripping apart whenever you would come crying onto jenoâs shoulder because of another argument with your jerk of a boyfriend, he was growing tired. almost as tired as you were becoming from holding his shaking fists back from marking soobinâs god forsaken face. tired from actually capturing his tongue between his teeth before vile words spilled past his lips towards him.
he was so tired with this routine. so sickened of the way you were struggling and struggling. stuck in a bubble of anguish and pain formed by soobin that no one was able to pop.
but heeseung always carried a needle around, for safe measures.
the rainy day you decided to frantically knock on his door, your sobs echoing in his house when you buried your face into his chest because you actually found another girlâs number in the same phone that soobin had his eyes stuck on. was the day that heeseung finally snapped.
fuck all of this.
fuck soobin. fuck jeno. fuck both of their feelings. he had you, who so clearly needed a massive amount of attention, of care and love to pour all over your fresh wound that ached in heeseungâs embrace. he felt his heart shattering into the tiniest pieces when you sobbed in his hold. the desperate grip your fingers had on his arms pulling at his insides as he felt his own tears aligning his waterline.
he hated to see you like this. so heartbroken and devastated over a guy that didnât even deserve you one bit. he wouldâve never treated you like soobin. not even for a single second. heeseung wouldâve treated you so much better if only you had looked at him the way heâs always been looking at you for the past months.
if only you took notice of the longing in his eyes. the yearn that clawed at his heartstrings whenever he saw you in front of him. right within armâs reach but so so far away.
but that didnât matter anymore. you were finally away from soobin, that fucker was out of your life and you were in heeseungâs arms. heeseungâs embrace that felt so warm, so welcoming as you fit perfectly in his hold. so right.
so you stayed, feeling the safety and comfort that seeped through your body in heeseungâs presence. a peace of mind that youâve never felt with anyone, not even with your own brother. that lulled you into calmness, heeseungâs gentle touch that brushed against the skin of your face and neck when he would tenderly caress you as he whispered sweet, calming words to your ear that made the raging storm inside of you sizzle down.
the hurt, the pain and all the agony was pushed aside. stuffed inside of a box discarded into the back of your brain. your head throbbed in pain at the excessive amount of crying you did in heeseungâs arms. a pulsing ache that travelled from the back of your skull to the end of your spine as you sniffled quietly in his arms.
âfeeling better, precious?â he whispered quietly, voice barely audible. so soft and delicate as if he was scared that any unexpected move or sound will scare you. make you cower away in fear. he knew how to speak to you. how to touch you and handle you just the right way.
so affectionate, calm and delicate when handling you. touch as soft as a baby birdâs feather as if you were made of glass, the most precious material that could break and crumble with the slightest incorrect move.
he made you feel so seen, so understood and cared for. you werenât too much for him as soobin claimed you to be. not attention seeking or annoying at all.
ânot really..â you closed your eyes, wet lashes heavy with tear droplets that didnât have the chance to roll down your face, he looked at you. in his eyes an unfamiliar glow. unable to pinpoint or understand exactly what he was feeling, all he knew was that he wanted you close to him.
âwhat can i do to make you feel better, pearl?â the new petname that rolled off his tongue so easily had your heart leaping in your chest, you opened your eyes. glossy vision landing on his own expectant one, he was implying something with his words. both of you aware of the sharp edge in his tone, an invitation that he had slipped towards you. waiting for you to pick it up and accept.
âmake me forget about him..â your warm breath fanned over his face, the feeling of finally having you so close made his head spin. a carnal, hidden urge in him awakening after being discarded and thrown away for so long. stuffed deep inside of him for months, a crippling desire. a wicked desire to have you, has surged forward again.
his emotions, feelings, thoughts everything about you that were invalidated by his rational side. concealed in the name of his morals and beliefs that heâs wrong. he shouldnât desire a taken woman, shouldnât look at his own best friendâs little sister wrongly, were all springing back to life. enlivened at your mere presence. your mere existence and attendance in his hold. and heeseung was no longer holding himself back.
he didnât care if what he was going to be doing aligned with his stupid morals and beliefs anymore. didnât care if you were to wake up tomorrow regretting everything. didnât care if he wasnât going to be able to look at jeno in the eye again. he was finally given a taste of you.
not a whisper of you, not a piece of you, you were entirely served on a silver platter for him only to devour. to ravish. to feast on with ardour. to finally satisfy and satiate the hunger that always ached in his stomach for you.
you were finally here. between his fingertips. within armâs reach, looking at him. staring into his eyes and not only looking at the devoted shine in them directed towards you, you were reciprocating it.
âyeah? thatâs what you want, pretty?â he leaned down, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. you closed your eyes at the intimacy. a warmth spreading inside of you before settling into your core. dripping. thatâs what you were. absolutely soaked.
âi want you.â you spoke, hit with an unknown urge to only speak the truth. removing each and every filter from your mind and mouth as you let your tongue speak whatever your brain formed at that current moment. and you wanted heeseung.
and who was he to deny you of that?
your sultry eyes that looked at him in pure lust asking him that? he was gone. your vixen like manners wrapping him in a chokehold. he was such a weak man for you. determined on pleasing you to the best of his ability, make you lose count on the amounts of times heâll push you towards your high just so you can think about him and how good your pretty little cunt feels.
and so heeseung started, laying you on your stomach atop his satin sheets with your hands behind you, restrained by his fastened belt around your wrists while you squirmed on his bed. long, thick fingers that worked past your sopping entrance. leaking mushy walls tightened around his digits as if welcoming them for being inside of your needy pussy. fuck you were drenched.
âwhat a greedy cunt.. sucking my fingers in like this, wonder how long youâve been waiting for this, pearl.â he laughed behind you, busy taking in the way your slick was drizzling down his palm, the way your puffy swollen folds swallowed in his long fingers entirely. the wet sounds from his abuse against your sweet spot was the cherry on top for him.
he was so fucking hard in his pants. his briefs feeling unbearably tight. heeseung breathed out short huffs of breaths, working his way to stretch your tight pussy open before fucking you on his length that he was sure you couldnât take.
especially not with the way you were moaning and thrashing in his bed just from his fingers.
but who could blame you? he felt so good. his elongated fingers brushing against all of your sweet spots so deliciously. you could only imagine how mouth watering his cock would feel when he finally decides to fuck you like youâve always dreamed of.
you couldnât deny the attraction youâve held for heeseung. the twinge at your heart that hoped to tug you towards him, an unknown pull that always made you stay up late at night thinking about heeseung. wondering about heeseung. dreaming about heeseung.
and for the longest time, it made you feel so guilty. so ashamed of the fact that you were thinking of your friend more than your own boyfriend. yet at the same time you heard a tiny voice in your head justifying your actions, a small part of you knew that your boyfriend was really anything but a boyfriend.
you did notice his passive behaviour. his curt responses and cold attitude towards you. but did you actually have the courage to confront soobin about it? to bring it up as an actual issue that was clearly building a separating wall between you two in your relationship? of course no. you decided to turn into a blind eye and hold faith in false beliefs that maybe, just maybe soobin will change one day.
except that day never came. it was never going to.
and the rational, logical part of you knew this. knew this so so well that it decided to give up on soobin long before your heart realised the change in your desire. the change in your mind, the way your thoughts quickly turned from being clouded with soobin, to being thundered with your beloved friend heeseung.
you didnât even realise you had such a drastic change of heart. only coming to the chilling notion of how when you were with soobin, heeseung roamed your mind. when you were talking to jeno. heeseung was filling the back of your head. when soobin was trying to make dry love that lacked any sense of passion with you, you were left to fend for yourself with your fingers, and heeseung in your brain. heeseung on your thoughts, the whisper of âheeseungâ on your tongue when you finally reached the climax soobin couldnât bring you to.
and in the beginning you were scared, terrified even of the thumping in your chest that you were sure anyone could hear if they stepped close enough to you when you were around heeseung. scared of the way your eyes would stray too far away from soobin and remain stuck on heeseung for too long. scared of the way you were only staying in your current relationship not out of love, but out of attachment to soobin when you yearned for heeseung.
hence why the only relief that you found in your love life was in your dreams. your unconscious daydreams that would conjure up a love story, a love vessel that branched between you and heeseung. every night with no fail.
yet you didnât have to worry about this anymore. no longer tied emotionally to the false, unrealistic images and feelings that only existed in your head about heeseung. not when you had him currently groaning out praises to you, showering you with so much love and attention that you missed out on as he fucked you through your first orgasm on his fingers.
âsuch a good girl for me.. cumming around my fingers so well. my obedient little girl.â he trailed kisses from the back of your thighs, wet smacks of his lips against your skin till he reached your shoulder, where he traced his long tongue along your neck. âthink youâre ready for me, precious?â he whispered lustfully into your ear. and god did he sound so much better. so much hotter than in your dreams.
voice almost gruff, an entire octave lower than his usual tone as he pressed his warm body against yours. brushing the exposed, leaking head of his cock and separating your oozing lower lips after discarding himself from his clothes. he was so menacing. teasing you so much when all your body ached for was to be filled up to the brim with his length.
âso needy for me.. look at your cunt trying to suck me in, pearl.â he hissed, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the sight of the same hole that he just fucked open with his fingers gaping at him. dribbling more of your syrupy nectar down your inner thighs as if to seduce him. winking at him when you tightened around nothing just to entice him further. making a wave of thrill pass through his body just so he would fill you up.
and well, heeseung was a very weak, weak man when it came to you.
he pushed the head of his cock in. the two of you hissing in sync, your pretty plump lips falling in an âoâ shape while he bit on his lower lip, your gushing walls wrapped around him so tightly the first time he sunk his cock in you. as if greeting him, their new owner before moulding into his shape.
if heeseung stared at your form any longer, he wouldâve came inside of you already, ruining both of your fun. but goodness was seeing you twitching in his bed, plush thighs pushed to the sides so he can stuff his cock inside of you so fully while your arms shook and jerked around his own belt was a divine sight. one he quickly imprinted onto his brain to always go back to whenever needed.
but something told him that that wasnât going to happen, he doesnât need to depend on his memory anymore. he felt like he was going to be able to experience the real deal after this.
he pushed his hips forward, thrusting in and brushing right against your g-spot that had you whining his name almost automatically. âfound it..â he smirked in victory, âthatâs your weak spot isnât it, pearl?â leaning down just a bit to inch closer to your ear, âyour sweet sweet spot, baby.â you felt tears aligning your eyes. glossing over when he continued to nudge his hips against your spot. the one corner in your walls that had you seeing stars.
legs already shaking under him, you mewled his name so adorably. each huff and puff of air past your glistening lips made his heart skip a beat. he was growing even more obsessed with you than he already was. ây-yes seung.. thatâsâ oh my god.. thatâs it!â you whined and sobbed for him.
heeseung sucked a deep breath in, lips kissing his teeth as his body felt like it was lit ablaze. so many months of daydreaming about this current moment that he was in right now paid off. you felt so hot. so pliant. so malleable under him. body reacting to each touch of his so sweetly, like your body recognised his as its other half before either of you did.
âsuch a good- haah shit.. such a good pussy.. sucking me in so well. you feel fuckinâ divine, pretty.â his eyes rolled into the back of his head from the way your cunt just kept gushing and sputtering out wetness before wrapping around his cock and sucking him back in deep. so so deep he was bruising your insides.
âj-just for you daddy..â a broken, quiet sentence that was almost unheard. almost went unnoticed. but heeseung was so glad he caught it. as the second that endearing name fell past your parted lips, he felt an entire electric shock shoot through his spine.
his mind was reeling, breaths growing uneven as your voice played like a broken record in his head, so pretty. so small. so frail and so delicate. as sensitive and precious as an actual pearl you were. heeseung was sinking in so much deeper in love than he already was with you.
âyeah, little girl? daddyâs making you feel good, isnât he?â he was so careful. each move of his made solely for the purpose of pleasing you. of pushing you closer and closer to your peak of pleasure. and before you realised it, your climax broke down upon you like a dam. tears rolling down your cheeks and onto heeseungâs pillowcases as he fucked you through your high.
god did it feel so relieving. so alleviating to have someone put your pleasure first, to push you to your pleasure first. to care for you, think about you and make love to you for you. it was so different. so delicious you couldnât help but ravish in the ecstasy of it all. your first ever experience of pure, arrant love.
it wasnât only heeseung that was getting high off of the pleasure of experiencing you for the first time, your mind was also reeling from experiencing such pleasure for the first time. âsâgood daddy.. too good! you feel so warm.â hicupping and babbling on as heeseung only continued to thrust in more harshly.
he felt so feverish, the temperature of his body rising while his room turned steamier. it was almost as if he could no longer breathe. not that his mind registered that feeling in the first place, the only thing he could process was the way your pussy was trying to suck him back in more and more and more.
he leaned forward, allowing his hot exhales of breath to fan against your ear. hand sneaking between your shaking thighs and circling around your clit. âyou can give daddy another one, canât you pearl?â he whimpered next to your ear. his eyelids droopy as he held back on his own climax.
he rolled his hips in circular motion against yours, no longer thrusting his leaking cock in and out and only pressing his mushroom shaped tip onto your cervix, the sensation of him so close, so deep and so hot on top and inside of you made your eyes roll to the back of your head, his movements incessant as he worked and guided your body towards another release.
âf-fuck..â sobbing under heeseung as he coaxed another orgasm out of you, he cooed besides your ear as his hands quickly unclasped his belt from around your wrists, making your hands grip desperately onto the sheets while his laced around your shaking legs, tongue peeking out to lick against your tears as he felt relief in his chest at the sight of you crying from pure pleasure and not over your ex.
the feeling of being so intimately connected to you, having you entrust him with your body and pleasure made his head reel. you being so close to him was a dream come true for heeseung. and now that he had you in tears underneath him, he was never going to be able to let go of this moment.
every second of this night has already been engraved in his head. every emotion and every fast thump of his heart tattooed itself on his memory, and it made him feel so good. so accomplished, he felt complete.
he buried his face in your neck, relishing in the way your body was shivering because of him, the goosebumps that aligned your skin because of his touch, relishing in the feeling of having you around him in every way. âyou feel so good, princess..â he drunkenly spoke, his orgasm creeping up on him as he continued to grind against you.
âwrapped around daddy so well, pearl.â he groaned, every sniffle and whimper that left your mouth due to his lewd words went straight to his throbbing cock, he felt like he was seconds away from releasing and filling you up entirely. the thought alone making his jaw clench in delirium.
âwant daddy to fill you up, baby?â he whispered, his smirk evident in his whisper. luring you slowly into his trap that seemed so effective with the way you whimpered for him and tightened around him more. so pleased, ecstatic and needy of the mere idea.
âp-please, daddy! please fill me up.. give me your babies..â you begged, weaker hands wrapped around his forearms to keep him in place while your cunt squeezed around him, gushing around his cock just to urge him to not pull out and fill you up instead.
and fuck heeseung was losing it.
your words almost awakening something animalistic in him, a noxious urge to truly fill you up, give you his babies and keep you just for himself only. in that exact moment, all the worries from heeseungâs shoulders evaporated.
your brother no longer mattered, soobin no longer mattered, he himself didnât matter anymore. he only needed to have you stuck with him for eternity. by his side forever, and you were asking him to do exactly that. asking him so desperately. how could he refuse?
after all, heeseung was a very weak man when it came to you.
âgonna take all of daddyâs babies, pearl?â he chuckled, sweat rolling off of his temples as the coil in his stomach tightened further, the feeling making his voice crack at the end. you nodded frantically under him, nails digging into his skin yet the pain made him hiss in pleasure.
âplease give it to me..â you moaned as you felt another release wash over you, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks while heeseung bit your skin at the overwhelming waves of ecstaty that crashed on him. âiâm your good girl, daddy arenât i? i deserve it.. please.â fuck you sounded so starved. the mere longing in your voice, you calling yourself his good girl made him lose his mind.
and before heeseung could even realise it, he was pumping you full with his warm ropes of cum, both of you groaning in vehement, blinding euphoria while he peppered kisses around your neck and jaw. âof course youâre my good girl, baby fuuuckâ youâre my prettiest girl.â his own legs started to shake in pleasure as he rode out his high.
keeping himself so deep inside of you, pushing his load deeper with each slight thrust while he stayed above you. whispering praise after praise for you just to show you how much he truly loves you. heeseung was ready to die for you.
and once his high subsided, he carefully laid next to you, moving you gently to your side and staying rooted deep inside of you before covering both of your bodies with his blanket.
he placed a loving kiss to your temple, arms wrapped protectively around your weak and spent body. âsleep well, pearl.â he spoke, âdonât think about anything, daddyâs here.â you felt the way his hold tightened around you.
you felt too fatigued to reply, instead tilting your head just enough to kiss his hand that was close to your neck, the small gesture carrying your love for the man behind you, making his heart thunder in his chest as you fell asleep, feeling so protected and loved for the first time in so long.
â
SIM JAEYUN âââ ěŹěŹě¤
sim jaeyun was great at many things. acing his physics exams, being the best captain for his universityâs football team and being an absolute sweetheart to his teachers and friends.
the only thing that sim jaeyun sometimes lacked in was his ability to give a fuck. especially when it came to his childhood friend, his one sided enemy and shameless copycat.
lee anton, whoâs also a close family friend of jake. has been living in his shadow ever since the two could even walk. countless comparisons between the two young boys drew a very fat, drastic line that only distanced them from one another without their parentsâ realisation.
sure, anton and jake mightâve sat next to each other at family dinners, passed each other tissues or salt, but the second they were outside of the dining room or the house that pushed them to be in the same vicinity? it was over.
their so called âfriendshipâ was only a show the two of them had unspokenly agreed on in order to not have their families pry into their lives. and for the longest time, it worked.
jake didnât care. jake couldnât even bring himself to care about anything anton related while that clearly wasnât the case for anton.
call it his insecurities or doubts towards everything, he always watched jaeyun from the sidelines with a glint in his eyes that not even he could decipher, whether it was admiration or envy. the only thing anton was sure he felt towards jake, was resentment.
years and years of all of his actions getting nitpicked and compared to jakeâs made him only strive to be more. to be better than jake. to reach heights and places the older one could only dream of. but at the same time his dreams only stayed as that, dreams.
because jakeâ he was untouchable. a dude that had everything and anything really. he was perfect in every aspect. excellent grades, respected by all the sport coaches, admired by every teacher and fawned over by every girl.
and it sickened anton.
because he had multiple things that now he had to improve on, he couldnât find the one singular thing that jake didnât have that he could snatch. the one thing he could reach and claim before his enemy could even think about it. he had to figure out a way to make jake jealous, to pay for all of these years of one sided rivalry that only made anton almost lose his sanity.
and so he did.
he found exactly what would set jake off. the only way to turn the tables around and have jake eyeing him from the sidelines.
his crush. anton managed to date you, jakeâs obsession and love that no one except his close circle of friends knew about. he had you wrapped around his finger.
you see now as mentioned before, jake didnât care. he didnât care what other opinions people had on him, who were getting compared to him or who he was getting compared to himself. he was content and happy in being present in his own bubble, surrounded by his own people he knew he could trust. and well just lived his life.
except he couldnât do that anymore. not when anton, who was determined to climb up towards jakeâs level by also becoming the co-captain of the universityâs football teamâ walked around the halls with his arm wrapped around your waist and lips close to your ear as he whispered a stupid joke that made you laugh. right. in front. of jake.
jake was livid.
for the longest time in his life, he never felt the need to reach his hands out towards something that didnât come for him first. his eyes never strayed too far away from things that were already meant for him. as difficult as this was to hear for others, jake was simply gifted in many factors in life.
he didnât try too hard to study and ace all his tests. he was just very intelligent and paid a great amount of attention in his lectures, it wasnât his fault that he was ridiculously handsome that (as cliche as this sounds) girls fangirled over him when he would pass by the halls. and it really didnât cost a lot to not be an asshole to others.
so for jake to feel the need to have. the crave to own. the urge to desire something that he wasnât already divinely gifted? was making him pissed.
he wasnât even sure himself when his crush on you started, or how it developed to be something that gnawed at his heartstrings everyday. when the smart student of his physics class turned from someone that he only used to admire during his lectures into someone he thought about before falling asleep everynight. what he did know though was the fact that he wanted you.
and was jake someone that didnât get what he wanted? pfft of course no.
thatâs why he had youâ antonâs beloved girlfriend who he seemed to forget multiple dates with because he spent too much time ogling jakeâ clenching down on his leaking length that thrusted past your sopping hole.
âf-fuck! jakeâ shit! heâs going to hear us!â you mewled his name, body feeling excessively warm, heart thundering against your chest in both anxiety and excitement at the thought of being caught with jake, sweat rolled down both of your bodies while you desperately clawed at jakeâs open locker.
jake was currently balls deep inside of you in the football teamâs locker room.
where anton was just a hallway away, calling out your name since he had to apologise for missing your fourth date this week.
âscared of letting that asshole hear us? haahâ i have no idea why youâre still- fuck.. with him when you have me, angel girl.â he breathed out heavily next to your ear, eyes closing in pleasure as he thrusted into your walls that only seemed to suck him in further and further. he was feeling so ecstatic. so high on your touch and presence that he was holding himself back from filling you up entirely.
you pushed your hips back, actions completely contradicting your own words as you kept tightening around jake with each whiny moan that fell past his bitten lips, âyou know i canât leave him..â you whined, head pressing against the lockers while jake leaned down, hovering his chest above your back.
âwhy is that, baby? is he remembering all your dates? shit- is he buying you all the jewellery you deserve, angel? i-is he fucking you as good as i am right now?â he bit against the shell of your ear, voice growing desperate, needy, ravenous just to hear you say the words he wants to hear. his satisfaction bubbling in his stomach when you shook your head to everything he groaned to you, denying each and every action that jake wouldâve done for you in a heartbeat.
âno! no no he doesnâtâ hmm he d-doesnât- fuck! only you do!â you thrashed under his hold, hips jerking forward from his grip as your abdomen only tightened and tightened further. you felt so good. the stretch of his thick cock splitting you open burned so well. you loved having him so deep inside of you, leaking tip of his dick pressing and kissing all over your sweet spots that had stars spinning around your head.
he laughed breathlessly behind you, reveling in your praises and the way each word was only a further push into his inflated ego, he already knew all of this. he knew how shitty anton was treating you as he was too busy trying to make him jealous. he knew every and each move anton was trying to pull but none of it was going to work.
as he was too busy to study jakeâs reactions to even realise that he had his own girlfriend cumming around his enemyâs cock so prettily. falling apart in jakeâs embrace as jake only cooed and encouraged you even more. to cum more. to make a mess over his cock. to claim him as yours just as badly as he wanted to claim you as his.
and thatâs exactly what you did, with the way his cock kept bullying its way back inside of your walls that continued to milk him for all heâs worth. relishing in the feeling of his hot cum filling you up with warm and thick ropes of his load, you continued to do what he wanted. forming a sheen ring of your combined juices around the base of his cock.
jake kept fucking into you, whispering words after words of praise hotly into your ear while your eyes rolled into the back of your skull. his hand let go of your hip to push in between your sticky inner thighs, fingers working deftly in rubbing circular motions onto your throbbing clit that only pulsed in need under his touch. âtelling me to stop.. when sheâs sucking me in this well.â he groaned, breaths getting caught in his throat as he felt hot white pleasure spreading all over his body.
âasking me to not fuck you⌠only thinking about your stupid boyfriend what about her then?â he slapped against your cunt, the wet sounds of his fingers landing on your wet, glistening skin had your mind reeling. âalways so selfish not thinking about her.. oh but i always do. i canât get this pretty cunt out of my head baby.â he shivered behind you, getting lost in the way you kept sucking him in due to his words.
the two of your bodies were moulding into one at this point, your flimsy panties that were pushed to the side with your skirt pushed upwards and jakeâs shorts that were pooling by his ankles were the last of your concerns, him fucking you this good and this deep in the public space of your lockerâs room was also discarded into the back of your head that was getting gradually fucked into subspace.
your senses heightened, only processing the feeling of jakeâs swollen, pulsing tip kissing and pushing against your throbbing cervix that begged to be filled up with his cum over and over again, filled up to the brim as many times as jake could give to you till the two of your bodies gave out.
âyou donât actually want me to s-stop do you, baby?â his voice became shaky, matching your own shaky breathes as he bit against the exposed skin of your neck and shoulders. his hips began to grind against yours, thick swollen balls pressed against the curve of your ass as he barely pulled out an inch or two before stuffing you full of his cock. ât-think about her, princess.â he starts to slap against your pussy again, gentle wet slaps that echo embarrassingly loud in the empty lockerâs room.
âtelling me to pull out when sheâs so greedy fâme?â he moans, chest heaving in deep gulps of breath as he kept holding his orgasm back, reminding himself to not cum before you again. âtell me baby, will he ever breed this pretty little cunt like iâm about to right now?â his hand that was gripping your hip dug his fingers into your plush skin further, leaving indents of his sharp nails behind while you mewled in pained pleasure at the sensation.
you loved it when he marked you, admiring all his marks whenever anton wasnât home and hiding them away from his eyes, it made you feel excited. a rush of joy sparking in your stomach at the thought of these marks being a secret only you and jake knew about.
ân-no no.. he wonât, jakey he c-canât!â you hiccuped, his favourite pet name spilling out while you felt your used, swollen pussy aching in pain and need. you felt so wasted, so febrile as your cunt only spasmed around him needily no matter how sore you already were feeling. and jake loved it so much when your body began to respond to him, reacting to every touch and contact made by him and he knew each response like the back of his hand.
he doubted if anton knew how to get your body like this too. flushed and burning in his hold, saturated pussy walls milking and squeezing him, salty droplets of sweat that dribbled down the back of your neck that he had no problem licking up. there was no way anton knew your body like he did.
he knew exactly which buttons to push and which parts to pull, just like how he knew that thrusting his hips so deep to the point where your cervix felt bruised while sneaking one of his hands under your shirt to tug at your hardened nipple and slither his other hand to wrap around your neck, pressing lightly just to make your head spin will have you unraveling again on his throbbing cock.
âthere you go princess..â he breathed out, his own eyes rolling to the back of his head as your walls calmped down on him. cunt wrapping around his thick cock like a vice as you creamed and made a mess over his dick just how he liked it. âfeels good, angel?â he spoke against the skin of your neck, hands now moving to grip onto his own locker door to stabilise himself. you nodded dumbly to his words. eyes closed as electrifying waves of euphoria twitched along your body.
âgood baby.. so so good tâme.. you can take more canât you now? my pretty girl?â he spoke over the approaching yells of anton, your name spilling past his lips as his eyes darted everywhere in the halls to find your figure. though he didnât know why his feet led him into the hallway of the football teamâs locker room, he just decided to not wonder about it too much.
and you mightâve not been able to hear him over the incessant ringing in your ears as you came down from your high that jake fucked you dumb towards but oh he heard it so clearly. the tone of desperation in his voice was like music to jakeâs ears. this right here, was his chance. and he was going to take it no matter what happens.
âthink you can take a bit more, princess?â he began to move his hips again, nasty, loud and squelching wet noises echoing in the lockerâs room as he pulled in and out allowing a glistening, clear mixed with white mixture of both of your arousals to dribble past your inner thighs, he looked down at the sight of his veiny cock glistening in your syrupy juices. the locker roomâs lights reflecting off your pretty stuffed cunt and his thick cock that disappeared between your dripping folds. god he could cum right now if he wanted to. but he still held back.
his hand moved onto your lower back, pressing slightly to bend you down more. deepening the arch of your back to make his cock slip past your drizzling folds, each thrust of his against your hips almost splattering your filthy wetness over your ass cheeks and his pelvis. he pulled his hips slightly back before ramming them forward again. the ridiculously wet noise in combination with your sinful moan made his muscles tighten.
his abs flexing as he lifted his shirt, tugging the hem of it between his teeth to allow the gushing combination of your juices to climb up his stomach, revelling in the way your pussy spurted out more cum, more squirt and more of your sweet syrupy nectar combined with his own on his skin. in a way he felt like you were marking him, rightfully staining your own territory and it made him feral.
âbaby?â the distant yells of anton became closer and closer. the stupid pet name that he dared to call you made jake scoff. his jealousy, envy and all nastily negative emotions that swirlied within him made him fuck you harder. harsher. his length pulling at your walls, tugging against your sweet spots making you sob and wail his name, jakeâs name in the lockerâs room.
âwhoâs fucking you this good, princess?â he growled, drool dribbling past the corner of his lips as sweat rolled down his temples, the salty droplets finding purchase on his glowing skin before falling atop your shining one. ây-you! jakey.. fuck! oh my god- you you you!â you babbled on, if jakeâs mouth was covered in drool yours was a mess. you salivated more and more as he bullied his cock inside of you, marking and moulding your insides to only fit his length. only recognise his dick and veins that decorated his cock.
âwhatâs my name baby? say it. yell it. scream it, princess. let them all hear who you belong to.â his shaking hand turned to land a harsh slap against your right ass cheek, palm burning at the aggressive contact of your soft skin with his making you cry even more under him. face almost pressed against the cool metal of the locker, pearly tears falling freely onto the wet puddle that the two of you had formed on the floor right between your legs.
âjakey!â you gasped loudly, vision blurry with both overstimulated pleasure and your own tears. a hot pounding forming in the back of your head as jake continued to fuck you stupid on his thick inches that dragged along your creaming walls, clenching and clamping down on him in cadence to his thrusts.
âthatâs not my name, princess.â he frustratedly groaned, he was almost able to hear antonâs foot steps as they approached the lockerâs room where he had you bent over and sucking in his cock like the perfect slut for him that you were. the slut that anton didnât even know existed but jake had memorised like the back of his hand.
âd-daddy!â you choked out, swallowing back sobs as another orgasm washed over you, cumming so hard around jakeâs cock while he continued to fuck into you, each squirt of your sopping pussy only encouraged him to push back into your cunt. âpushing me out now, is she?â he moaned, head thrown back in pleasure at the added pressure of your cunt both pushing him out and sucking him back in. making his head reel in ecstasy.
âsay my name, baby. say it. who owns this fucking pussy?â he thrusted back, attempting to piston his mushroom tip against your sweet spots to make you see stars. âyou do, daddy! you do!â mewling under him as your own nails began to dig into your skin. jake felt so much euphoria rushing deep in his veins at your words. the sound of your whiny voice mewling and moaning so sweetly for him while your body squirmed under his hold made him so happy. he had you exactly where he wanted.
at the best position for anton to see right when he walks past the door of the lockerâs room.
âam i fucking this pretty cunt good, princess? want me to fill your cheating pussy up? knock you up so you have no choice but to stay with me and not your asshole of a boyfriend, hm?â he egged you on, knowing so so well that anton heard everything. the loud screech of his sneakers against floor of the hallway telling him everything he needed to know and god jake was on cloud fucking nine right now.
âgonna let me breed you? make you pregnant with my baby. have you all round and pretty carrying my baby so youâre mine forever.â he leaned down to kiss against your neck, his balls squeezing more tightly as he finally let go. allowing all the cum stored in them to push against your pretty cervix and womb. filling you up with his hot ropes of cum, knocking you up just how he wanted.
jake didnât even mind the shocked gasp the fell past antonâs lips at the sight, too high. too drunk and wasted on the feeling of the way your pussy was sucking him in as he triggered another orgasm from you because of his own, he hummed at the feeling, soft whimpers falling past his lips while he held you close to him. god he was cumming so so much. filling you up to the brim so well you could feel his cum flooding your insides, filling up your swollen pussy and uterus so well. there was no way it didnât take.
your drool was dribbling past your chin as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, jake grinding up against your ass to ride both of your highs out, his hand pressed against the bloated bulge in your lower stomach while broken sobs and whispers of his name made it to his ears. your body was so weak. so used and so utterly exhausted from the continuous fucking and breeding. âfeeling tired, mama?â he whispered lustfully against your ear, peeking one eye towards the locker roomâs door just in time to catch the faint sight of antonâs sneakers quickly disappearing behind the walls.
he smiled, satisfaction and happiness bubbling in his insides at the thought of finally having you. with no worries or concerns of anton. he felt so joyous. so relieved that you no longer had to deal with that asshole. he finally had you all to himself.
he kept his softening cock buried inside of you, arms wrapping around your waist to pull you impossibly closer before nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. you felt so soft, so nice and warm in his hands when you moved your hand back to tug at his neck, you turned your head back and connected your lips to his.
and just that action alone had jakeâs heart bursting with love, he finally had you wrapped around his finger just how you had him for the longest time.
â YANG JUNGWON ⥠ěě ě
for yang jungwon, life had always been on easy mode. as if playing an easier, more smoother game of life with less bumps and obstacles in his path. everything almost moulded to his liking and every unfavourable decision changed for the sweethearted guy.
his life was nothing short than averageâ he was a remarkably good student, great president of his class. trusted tremendously by the teachers, very dearly loved by all animalsâ well okay maybe his life wasnât that average.
but he just liked to believe that it was fate, or luck, one of those two didnât matter which one but he did know that there was some other higher power that played an important role in all of his life events. as surely there was a reasoning behind every single thing that happens in his world.. or maybe not somethings are just meant to be the way the are.
much like his confusing rivalry with his number one public enemy, the guy that he would actually have no problem with killing if he could, haruto.
the hatred, dislike and absolute loath the two shared against each other was a mystery to not only the people surrounding them, but to their own selves as well. jungwon couldnât pinpoint exactly when his relationship with haruto had began to bend incorrectly but as far as he remembersâ itâs always been like that.
the two couldnât stand each other to stay in the same room. throwing nasty glares at one another before turning their heads to spew hateful words. âthis fucking assholeâ âthis stupid bastardâ and their friends were used to it. no matter how many times they attempted to understand, to really know the reason as to just why there was so much ill dislike between themâ they just couldnât reach anything.
âbecause heâs a cocky son of a biââ âyeah okay i think thatâs enough.â jungwon got cut off by his younger friend ni-ki when asked about his unexpected distaste towards haruto, no one bothered to figure out the weird and unexplained hostility between the two boys after that.
and for the longest time, with no interaction points between the two. everything seemed to be fine. both of their hearts calming down from beating so much hatred, mouths empty from nasty words and a calm and collected peace of mind for all parties.
but that didnât last that long.
you see, jungwon wasnât the best when it came to maintaining relationshipsâ not in a cheating or unloyal kind of way. he just didnât feel like he was reciprocating the same amount of effort and dedication he was receiving in a relationship, hence most of the ones heâs went through had reached their demise before they were able to fully bloom.
blame it on his busy schedule and duty filled routines, he just sometimes couldnât push an entire romantic relationship to handle and be apart of into his life at certain periods.
something that haruto was clearly able to do. and god he did not let anyone hear the end of it, especially jungwon.
the problem wasnât the fact that jungwon couldnât keep a relationship anymore. jungwon had always wanted to be in one, to be loved and appreciated and doted on by someone he wholeheartedly trusted and saw a future with. he wasnât afraid to love either. it was just the time factor that he wasnât sure about giving. not the satisfactory amount for a lover atleast.
but for haruto to rub all of this into his face when he sat at a lunch table with his arm slinged around your hips as you gazed at him with hearts in your eyes? was a bit too much.
âthatâs why you canât keep a fucking relationship!â this sentence coming from haruto during another argument a mere two days later after seeing you two in the cafeteria? oh jungwon was fuming.
this was it. if haruto was so concerned about jungwon being unable to keep a relationship, why not just snatch away his?
which explains how you currently landed in this situation, laying sideways on his bed. one of his hands gently held your leg, keeping an open entrance for him to plunge his cock back inside of your wetness. he felt so ecstatic. so deep as he shoved his thick inches inside of your gummy walls. length exploring and massaging your insides so wonderfully you couldnât help but moan so prettily for him, small praises tumbling past your lips. you were so dizzy in pleasure.
âfeels good, precious?â he would mumble behind you, his own eyelids shut tightly at the feeling of your tight walls sucking him in greedily. a ravenous grip around the base of his cock that had him seeing stars. âsâgood won.. f-fuck.. tâ feels amazing..â you huffed, pearly droplets of sweat shimmering prettily over your body as he rolled his hips up against your ass.
his thrusts were short, not too much power behind him as he was so drunk off of your pussy already. they were just right. pushing and kneading against your sweet spots so deliciously and making you bite you lower lip harsh enough to draw a metallic taste into your mouth. he was stuffing you so well. fucking you so good you couldnât even think about anything else.
especially not the date with haruto you were supposed to be on like right now.
and jungwon knew about it. he knew so well exactly what haruto was planning to do on this date, which flowers he was buying and to which restaurant he wanted to take you to make up for the fact that he was an actual asshole just like jungwon had always known.
because what sane man would be mean to you? no matter how many times you tried to hide it from everyoneâs eyes, jungwon knows that youâre not happy in your relationship with haruto. hellâ he even got into a relationship to make him jealous in the first place. it wasnât out of love or whatever lie he was feeding you.
no one except jungwon knew about the disgusting and degrading comments and names haruto would make about you. about his horrible manners and actions that would only make you question the whole purpose of this relationship, because loveâ what was known as the basis for every relationship, was clearly missing in this one.
but you were too attached to realise that, too used to being around haruto to consider anyone else. so what if he was rude to you? atleast he was your boyfriend. or well.. that was until jungwon walked into the picture, more like waltzed into your life.
âyou feel so good around me, doll. milking my cock with this pretty cuntâ fuuuck youâre so good to me.â he praised you on and on. mouth and tongue never getting tired from showering you with compliments, something drastically different from you were used to and it felt so nice. different, but a welcomed different.
you shyed away adorably from him, whimpering in his hold as tears sprung into your eyes from both the sensitivity of your cunt and your heart, he felt the way your walls tightened around him at his words. the feeling paired with your body turning warmer and your cute mewls made him coo in your ear. how cute can someone be?
he couldnât wrap his head around the fact that haruto had actually managed to score you. to date you out of all people. such a sweet souled woman that only deserved praise, love and affection. all things that jungwon couldnât help but shower you with as you laid under him, taking his cock so well like a good girl. seriously how could haruto not treat you right?
though questioning haruto did become something jungwon gave up on ages ago. the only point he took away from that was if haruto is wrong about something, then thereâs a very high chance that jungwonâs right.
and haruto was so so wrong about degrading you. treating you so poorly when all you needed were a few soft whispers of how well you were doing, what a pretty girl you were as you took his big cock in so sweetly to get you to glow more. to flourish right before his eyes when you bucked your hips back against his. eyes shutting in ecstasy while butterflies fluttered in your stomach. feeling so loved and appreciated in the arms of a man you knew would never hurt you.
jungwon was enamoured by you. drowning completely in adoration and love for you. you were so warm in his embrace, body so pliant and responsive to his every move. almost like you were made for his touch. made to allow his fingertips to burn along your skin as they trailed from your waist down to your leg.
so needy, so so desperate to feel him all over you. and he felt the same way. the urge to press his skin against yours, cover your body with his and mould both of them into one you couldnât tell apart where he was ending and where you were starting, everything felt so hot. so warm so electrictifying as he fucked you open on his cock in a way youâve never felt before.
âp-please.. leave him for me bunny..â he stuttered out, throat closing up when your walls clamped down on him at the sound of his voice so distant, an entire pitch higher and so debauched in you. you shook your head mindlessly at his words, unable to agree to them, haruto still held a small precious spot in your heart. you were still attached.
âyou know he doesnât deserve you, precious..â his chest heaved in heavy gulps of air, his own waterline aligning with tears as he desperately clawed at your body as if he was almost panicked at the thought of you not leaving. begging you to leave his own enemy and become his. he wanted you so bad. to call you his so bad. to claim you, to please you and to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
and he could tell you wanted him just as badly. if your body language was anything to go by, he would think you were in love with him already. you were so good to him. felt so incredible around him he couldnât help but feel his body floating in utter euphoria, pure ecstasy with you.
âi c-canât.. i canât do that won.. sâtoo mean..â you hiccuped, tears rushing down your pretty face making him coo, he slithered his other hand down your waist, middle and ring finger teasing your throbbing clit that pulsed with need. you were so close to the edge of your climax your eyes rolled back when he began to rub slow circles on your aching bud. almost matching them along with the rolls of his hips against yours.
he was fucking you so well. so good. teetering on the edge of complete pleasure as his heavy balls pressed against the wet curve of your ass with every motion. the sound so lewd and sinful it made your head spin with each smack! smack! everything felt too good. too much.
âdonât you think him not fucking this pretty cunt good is too mean, bun?â he laughed breathlessly, eyelids fluttering shut when his raging hot tip that leaked tremendous amounts of pre nudged against your cervix, you sobbed out incoherent words. mind turning into a puddle of mush in your skull as you were unable to process or think about anything other than jungwonâs dick fucking you open like this.
he nudged his nose against your ear, hand and hips picking up in speed to ram inside of your snug cunt that only seemed to suck him in further. sticky, glistening ropes of arousal connected his hips and pelvis to your ass cheeks that were covered in a white mess. you had lost count about the amount of times youâve creamed on him now, and jungwon didnât mind at all.
with your hot breaths fanning against one another, warm, sweaty bodies moving in cadence and your insides feeling so sensitive and sore, neither of you were able to pick up the echoing sound of your phone ringing on the bedside table. the call coming from none other than haruto.
âcome to me pretty bunny.. leave him and- haahâ shit.. come to me.â he moaned by your ear, finger incessant in rubbing against your clit and to coax out another orgasm out of you and another and another.
you were feeling so delirious at this point. having jungwonâ a guy that your heart soared for fucking you and dragging out so many highs out of you while begging you to leave your asshole of a boyfriend was so.. intense. it was so much. way too much for your brain to comprehend.
âyou know i-i can treat you better right?⌠so much better than him..â he whined, so lost on you, so gone and drunk on the flavour of you atop his senses. overtaking his every thought, his every idea, his entire brain and whole heart completely. and he loved it. as if hexed by a spell you casted upon him, he relished in it.
and you revelled in his attention, his love that he continued to rain on you, possessed by his presence and enchanted entirely. as if stuck under his hypnosis, the movements of his body against yours, his whispers of sweet words, sweet promises and dirty nasty things he would do to you if you were his had you hexed so so deep into his own spell. tangled in a passion dedicated to him and formed by him only.
you nodded in a lucid manner to his words, eyes droopy as they opened and closed with your vision blurry. you could barely pick up the way you were unraveling around his length again. gummy walls clamping down around the base of his cock for the nth time in the past few hours as you came so hard.
âjust like that bun⌠cumming around my cock so good doll.. needy cunt sucking me in so so well.â he spoke deliriously, his own consciousness slipping away before he finally heard your ringtone. the thought of it being haruto made his inside twinge in excitement. his hand moved imperceptibly, wrapping his fingers around the device while you were still lost in your stupor of pleasure.
he glanced at the small screen and couldnât help the wide cheshire grin that spread across his features at the sight of âharuto âĄâ this was it.
he quickly answered the call, lowering the volume to not have you hear his worries and apologies that instantly began to spill out the speaker. you were so caught up in your own high, eyes closed as jungwon kept rocking his hips against yours making you get stuck on subspace as he remained restless. not taking a second to stop and trapping you in a constant state of ecstasy. and you were loving every second of it.
âfeeling good, baby bunny?â he asked loudly, unnoticeably switching the phone to his other hand that kept holding your leg up and lowering the speaker right against your cunt. making the wet smacking sounds, the slaps of his heavy balls against your ass echo in harutoâs ears as he felt his heart drop.
that voice. was too familiar for his liking.
âsâgood won.. shitâ feels sâgood..â you babbled on, soft hands gripping roughly at his ruined bedsheets as there was almost a puddle forming between the two of your bodies, more cum more wetness more arousal seeping out of your fucked hole when jungwon would pull slightly out. a mere inch that will make his cum leak outside of your gummy walls before squeezing himself back in and god the sound was so filthy. so nasty as it echoed for all three of you.
âwhoâs making you feel this good, hm? tell me whoâs filling up this pretty little greedy cunt, bun?â he bit against your ear, licking the shell of it sensually as the need and urge to devour you was just worsening with every second. he needed to feel you everywhere, taste you everywhere and touch you everywhere.
âyou areâ fuck! youâre making me feel so good.â you mewled under his hold. writhing in complete pleasure and ecstasy as he kept pushing his cock between your puffy and glistening folds. âwhatâs my name, my pretty bunny?â he whispered lewdly into your ear, his mere voice almost acting like an aphrodisiac for you. making you more needier and wetter for him.
âdaddy! ngh daddy you feel sâgood!â gasping his favourite name for him so loudly, unaware of the fact that haruto choked on his own spit at how slutty you sounded. voice almost an entire pitch higher and voracious. he felt his own pants tightening at the filthy sounds filling his ears. you never sounded like this with him hellâ your room never sounded like this when you were with him.
âgood girl.. such a good obedient little bunny for me, screaming her daddyâs name like the good bunny she is..â he kissed along your skin lovingly, dropping the phone onto the bed without a care if haruto had hung up or not, you were right in front of him and he wasnât able to not give you his full attention. not when you sounded so slutty and needy for him.
he wrapped his arms around your waist, relishing in the way your cunt tightened and tightened around his cock as another orgasm washed over you, you sobbed his name, pretty little tears falling along his stained bedsheets as he switched the position.
he gently laid down your aching leg, the soreness of your body making you wince with the combined pleasure before he situated himself onto his knees. holding your thighs open just enough to see your ruined gaping hole leaking in front of him. the sight making his pulsating cock twitch before he pushed it back inside of you.
the two of you groaned in pleasure, both of you way past being gone. you were completely cock drunk while he was entirely pussy drunk. his mind spun with the way you still tried to suck him deeper, tight mushy walls milking his length and greedily clamping down on him. âf-fuck iâm sâclose bun.. gonna let me cum inside of your slutty pussy, hm?â he breathed out. sweat rolling from his temples down his chest and even reaching his glistening, muscular thighs.
you buried your head against the pillow, mind completely high and lost on the way jungwon kept fucking you into subspace. nodding against the wet pillowcases as jungwon was almost about to push past your cervix. âthatâs my girl.. my pretty little bunny letting me breed her pussy like this.â he groaned, his abdomen tightening further before he finally released the cum stored in his heavy balls that slapped noisily onto your inner thighs.
hot, long spurts of his cum webbed along your insides, filling you up to the brim and pressing right against your cervix. your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt your lower stomach almost bloating with his cum. he was releasing so so much. warm cum making your insides turn hotter as he kept fucking it back inside of you.
his groans and moans, whispers of your name and how good you felt barely reached your ringing ears, hell he couldnât even hear his own words himself. his ears popping as he finally released the final spurts of his unusually prolonged and intense release before he dropped on top of you. caging your body beneath his.
he cracked one eye open, moving to look at the phone screen that just now closed as haruto finally hung up from the call. he noticed the way you were trying to catch your breath, slipping in and out of consciousness and took this as an opportunity to open your phone.
memorising your password as harutoâs stupid birthday, he quickly went through your home screen to find your messages. where he could already spot multiple notifications from his enemy.
haruto âĄ: you fucking bitch
haruto âĄ: how dare you fuck my own enemy out of everyone else
haruto âĄ: i shouldâve never trusted a whore like you
jungwon felt his eye twitching at the way he was texting you. anger rising up like along with the fatigue in his body before he tapped onto your keyboard
my love âĽď¸: never text this number again you stupid asshole.
read
haruto ⥠is typingâŚ
and before he could text another nasty message, he blocked his number for good.
now discarding your phone back onto the bedside table, he turned towards you littering your shoulders and exposed skin with affectionate kisses before whispering how much he loved you into your ears.
and at the end of the day, jungwon still took the one thing haruto kept teasing him for and shoving in his face. his beloved girlfriend.
a,note. yay :D ! quick karinasbaby comeback while iâm busy w uni, hopefully ill be able to post more soon if not pls know that im trying my hardest đ hope u enjoyed !!! âĄ
#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen imagines#lee heeseung imagines#heeseung scenarios#heeseung smut#lee heeseung x reader#lee heeseung smut#heeseung x reader#sim jake x reader#jake x reader#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun smut#sim jaeyun fic#jake sim smut#jake smut#yang jungwon x reader#jungwon x reader#yang jungwon smut#enhypen jungwon smut#jungwon smut#enhypen scenarios#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jake#enhypen jungwon
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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but heâs the one I want
summary: All you needed was to see if your dadâs friend, Joel, had a spare key to your fatherâs house. Instead, you get railed within an inch of your life on Joelâs couch.Â
His brown eyes squeeze shut. âLord help me,â he says under his breath. A second passes, and then heâs looking at you. âFuck itâIâm already goinâ to hell.â Joelâs large palms grab your face, pulling you in to crush his lips against yours, muffling your surprised sound.Â
pairing: DBF!Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller/College Student f!reader (no physical descriptions)
rating: E (18+!!! No y/n, DBF!Joel Miller, slightly possessive Joel Miller, pre-Outbreak, age gap, explicit consent, unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, dirty talk, size kink, praise kink, spit as lube, overstimulation, sex on stairs, body worship, slight body insecurity, getting caught, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, Die Hard is a Christmas movie debate)Â
word count: 11.5k+
a/n: Alexa, play âBut Daddy I Love Himâ by Taylor Swift. I donât know where this came from (daddy issues), but I hope you enjoy it! Reader is freshly 21 in my head, Joel is 35 (itâs months before his birthday), and Tommy is 29. Let me know what you think! Big shoutout to @devineconjuring for going on this journey with me and betaing!
Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. Iâd love to know what you thought!
Main Masterlist
Knock, knock, knock.Â
Itâs a Friday night; the sky is dark, but the porch light is on. You hug your jacket a little closer to your body to stave off the chill in the air as you wait outside the front door for someone to answer it. A masculine voice calls out, "Cominâ!" Footsteps thud on the hardwood floor as they head your way.Â
Seconds later, the door is cracked open, and youâre met with the homeâs owner, Joel Miller. Just the sight of him in his jeans and navy blue t-shirt has your heart rate picking up in speed, the man looking as handsome as ever.Â
His eyebrows furrow in confusion when he sees you.Â
"Hey," he greets. "What are you doin' here? Shouldn't you be in school?"
University of Houstonâgo, Cougars!
You smile. "Three-day weekendâI have Monday off. I thought I'd surprise my dad since it's his birthday."Â
The confused look doesnât disappear. "I coulda sworn he told me they were goin' to Vegas to celebrate a few days ago." âTheyâ being your father, stepmother, and your teenage half-brother.
âWell, I guess it slipped his mind to tell me they were going out of town. He must be getting forgetful in his old age.âÂ
The relationship you have with your father is⌠complicated. Itâs not bad by any meansâyou get along and love each other. He just wasnât very present when you were growing upâhe lived in Austin while you were with your mom in Houston, only seeing him a few times per year. Now that you have a car and your mom moved out of state last year with her new husband, you occasionally made the three-hour drive to your dadâs to visit and do your laundry free of charge. It was also where you now stayed on your breaks from school.
Joel opens the door a little wider and crosses his arms over his chest, your eyes moving from his face to admire the broadness in his shoulders and the muscles in his forearms. Having his full attention on you makes the nerves in your belly flutter around like a bunch of butterflies were let loose.Â
âHeâs not much older than me,â Joel says. His eyebrow lifts. âAre you callinâ me old?âÂ
The man in question happens to be one of your fatherâs best friendsâor so youâve been told. In all of the visits to your dadâs growing up, you could count the number of times you saw Joel on one hand. Over the past year that youâve been coming to Austin regularly, youâve had much more interaction with him, which has led to you developing a little bit of a crush. Who can blame you, though? Heâs gorgeousâthe chocolate-colored eyes, the hair that looks so soft, that perfect nose, and those kissable lips.Â
âIf the shoe fits,â you reply with a shrug and a smile.Â
âKids these days,â Joel grumbles under his breath, shaking his head. âDid you come by just to call me old?â he asks.Â
âOh, no. I was expecting at least one person to be at my dadâs, so I didnât bother bringing my house key. Iâm here to see if you possibly have a spare I could borrowâI wouldâve called, but I donât have your number.âÂ
Maybe heâd give it to you nowâŚ
âIâm sorry, darlinâ, I donât.âÂ
Hot and a sweetheartâhow is he single? Is he single?
You frown, feeling annoyed that you drove all this way to Austin for no reason. You shouldâve called ahead, but that was your mistake, assuming your family would stay in town for your fatherâs birthday. âThis was a waste of gas,â you muse. âLove that for me. Well, it looks like Iâm heading home, or maybe Iâll get a cheap motel room. Thanks anyway, Joel. Have a nice rest of your night!â You do a little wave at him.Â
You start to turn, but stop when he says, âWait,â and you face him again. He opens the door wider. âItâs too late for you to be drivinâ all that way, and thereâs no reason you should pay for a motel when Iâve got a guest room you can stay in. You can get a good night's sleep and leave tomorrow morninâ when the sunâs shininâ.âÂ
Again, a sweetheartâwhy hasnât anyone snatched him up? Or have they?
âAre you sure?â you ask.Â
He finally offers you a friendly smile and moves to open the door all the way. âYeah, itâs no problem. I was feelinâ lonely anyway with Sarah gone at a sleepover. Itâll be nice to have some company that isnât my brother.âÂ
Lonely? Nice to have some company? That sounds pretty single to you. Your night just got a lot more interesting. âThank you so much! Iâll do my best to be better company than your brother.âÂ
With that, you make your way inside, toeing off your shoes next to a pair of his work boots.
âThat wonât be too hard,â Joel says as he shuts the door.Â
You stop in the entryway because youâre not quite sure where you should be going since you've never actually been inside his house. You only know where he lives because your father once asked you to drop something off here.Â
âLet me get your coat and bag.â You hand him your small purse, and he moves behind you, helping as you shrug off the long jacket youâre wearing, which he hangs up on a nearby coat hook with your bag. âOh.â He stops in his tracks, and you look at him, seeing his widened eyes staring at your body. âWere you planninâ on goinâ out tonight?âÂ
You glance down at your outfit, and you can understand why heâd make that assumption at the sight of the cute little black dress youâre wearingâit only reaches mid-thigh and has a V-neckline to show off your breasts.
âNot going outâitâs laundry day. I do my laundry when I come to Austin, and this was literally the last clean thing I had.â Your eyes lift to see his glued to your chest, and you think thatâs an interesting development. âI have spare clothes I keep at my dadâs that I planned on changing into.âÂ
Itâs the truth, and youâre a little thankful this was your last clean outfit. You can only imagine how embarrassing it wouldâve been coming over here in a ratty old T-shirt, granny panties, and your Spongebob Squarepants pajama pants.Â
He clears his throat and looks away. A rosy blush appears on his cheeks as he scratches at the back of his neck. âI can put my jacket back on,â you tell him, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable.
âNo, no.â He meets your gaze, offering a reassuring smile. âItâs fineâdo you need to use my washer and dryer?âÂ
âYouâre already being nice, letting me stay over. I can wash my clothes at the laundromat when I get home.âÂ
âItâs really no big deal.âÂ
âThank you, but Iâm good.âÂ
âOkay.â His hands go in his pockets, and he seems to get very interested in the short console table against the wall, staring at the contents lying atop itâa stack of unopened mail and what you assume are his keys and wallet. Â
âSo, what were you doing before I interrupted your evening?âÂ
âOhââ He looks at you again. ââI was watchinâ a movie. Would you like to join me?âÂ
You smile. âSureâlead the way.âÂ
He takes you to the living room, where a movie is paused on the television, and lets you know you can sit anywhere. Your choices are one of two armchairs and a maroon leather sofa, and you choose the sofa while he heads for the kitchen.Â
âWould ya like a beer?â he calls out on his way to the other room. He doesnât give you a chance to respond because a second later, heâs back at the doorway to the living room with a confused expression again. âWait, are you old enough to drinkâŚ?âÂ
The question makes you smile. âYes, Joel. Iâm old enough to drink.âÂ
âLegallyâŚ?â
You giggle. âYes. I can legally drink. You wanna card me?âÂ
âNo.â He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. âBeer?âÂ
âSounds great.âÂ
âOkay.â He nods.Â
As you sit on the couch waiting, you become very aware of the situation youâre in. Youâve spoken to Joel one-on-one a handful of times over the last year, but it always happened at a barbecue or a holiday partyâplaces where there were other people aroundâyouâve never been alone with Joel. This is new territory, and youâre not entirely sure what to expect, especially considering how he was staring at your chest.Â
Would you fuck him if given the chance? Yes, zero hesitation. Do you think you have a chance with him? Maybe, and that thrills you. Just two things are working against you: your age and the fact heâs your fatherâs best friend. Those are two hurdles youâre not entirely sure how to get over, but youâre definitely game to try.Â
Your conversations were always friendly in the past, and youâre proud to say youâve made him laugh a few times. You think you could possibly charm him. What you know for sure is heâll need to be very aware that youâre interested; otherwise, he wonât even fathom trying anything with youâthank god youâre wearing this dress. Nerves are swirling in your tummy at what could happen tonight, and youâre eager to see where things go.Â
Joel returns with two open bottles of beer, handing you one, and you thank him as he takes a seat right next to you. He leans forward to grab the remote and hits play before sitting back and taking a drink.Â
Heâs so close to you that you get a whiff of his cologneâit has a spiciness to it and some citrusy notes that, when combined, smell amazing. It makes you think he took a shower when he got home from work todayâand, suddenly remembering heâs a contractor, you imagine him shirtless and sweaty while using a hammer. The thought causes your mouth to go dry, so you lift your bottle to your lips for a sip, focusing on the TV.Â
Itâs easy to figure out what heâs watching when you see Josh Hartnett in clothes from the 1940s.Â
âPearl Harbor?â you ask, now holding your drink on your lap, picking at the label with your fingernail.Â
âYeah.â His head turns your way, his beer resting on his thigh. âHave you seen it?âÂ
Meeting his eyes, you answer, âOh, yeah.â
He frowns. âBecause itâs a girly movie?â
âUm, kinda? The guys are pretty easy on the eyes, and the story is interesting. I wouldn't say itâs super girly. Sure, itâs a romance, but thereâs so much action and drama about the war in it.âÂ
âThe back of the DVD said nothinâ about it beinâ a romance.â
âAre you enjoying it, at least?â you ask.Â
He sighs and looks back at the television. âYeah, I am.â
âThen enjoy it! If anyone asks what we watched, Iâll tell them Die Hard.â You lightly pat his thigh closest to you, feeling the muscles tense under your palm.Â
His gaze returns to you. âYouâve seen Die Hard?â
âYes. A few times.âÂ
Because itâs your dadâs favorite movie.Â
His upper body slightly turns your way, his arm going behind you on the couch. The closeness and the attention heâs giving you make your skin heat.Â
âI want you to settle somethinâ my brother Tommy and I disagree onâhave you met Tommy?âÂ
âOnce.â At a barbecue. He didnât catch your attention like Joel did. âWhat am I settling?â
âDo you think Die Hard is a Christmas movie?â
âWhatâŚ?â
âTommy is fuckinâ convinced that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and I say itâs just another action flick. A good one, but definitely not a Christmas movie.â
It takes you a second to process what he asked.Â
âI mean,â you start, âit takes place on Christmas Eve, at a Christmas party, and Iâd say itâs a Christmas miracle that John McClane happened to be there to save the day. So, yeah, itâs totally a Christmas movie.âÂ
âYouâre fuckinâ with me. Just âcause it takes place on Christmas Eve at a Christmas party doesnât mean itâs a Christmas movie.âÂ
You point the neck of your beer at him. âYou forgot John McClane being a Christmas miracle. Makes sense to me that itâs a Christmas movie.âÂ
He takes a deep breath. âSo, are you tellinâ me thatâwhat the fuck is that movie called?â His eyes leave you as he thinks, trying to remember the name. âLethal Weapon!â He looks at you again. âSo, youâre tellinâ me that Lethal Weapon would also be a Christmas movie? Have you seen that one?âÂ
Yep, with your father.Â
âI have, and yeah, itâs a Christmas movie. Youâve got drug dealers using a Christmas tree business as a front, Christmas is mentioned all throughout, they use a bunch of Christmas songs, and it ends at Christmas dinner. Absolutely a Christmas movie.âÂ
âSay youâre messinâ with me, darlinâ. You know what a Christmas movie is, right?Â
âYeah, youâve got the heavy hittersâItâs a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, A Christmas Carolâthen those stop-motion ones that are delightful. Iâd put Die Hard and Lethal Weapon in the same category as Home Alone.â
âWhy the hell do you think Home Alone is a Christmas movie?âÂ
âItâs set during the holiday season, and thereâs a ton of Christmas imagery and music. Plus, youâve got Kevin going on a similar journey as the main character in Itâs a Wonderful Life where, in the end, he realizes how much he loves and needs his familyâsounds pretty Christmas-y to me.âÂ
His jaw clenches, and itâs seconds before he inhales deeply and looks back at the TV.Â
âSon of a bitch,â he sighs, shaking his head. âTheyâre fuckinâ Christmas movies.â He takes a long drink of his beer.Â
You grin. âThey are indeed,â you reply and pat his thigh again.Â
His bottle lowers, and he looks over at you. âEven though you somehow made a dumbass like Tommy make sense, youâre definitely better company than him. Heâd never let me live this down.âÂ
Heâs visibly relaxed, and you have, too. The fact heâs enjoying you being there has calmed your nerves, and youâre having a great time talking to him. Plus, heâs nice to look at.
âThen itâll be our secret,â you say. âLike how weâre totally watching Die Hard right now, and notââ Your eyes go to the TV, and they widen. ââthe one sex scene in Pearl Harbor.â Itâs nothing too risque and honestly kind of lame.Â
Joel looks, too. âTheyâre just rollinâ around on the groundâŚâÂ
âItâs PG-13, Joel. I donât know what youâre expecting from a movie where they can only say fuck once, and titties are prohibited.âÂ
His head turns your way. âYouâre somethinâ else, you know that?â he says, and when your eyes land on his, you find that heâs smilingâyour heart skips a beat.Â
âA good something or a bad something?âÂ
âA good somethinâ.âÂ
You share his expression. âYouâre something else, too.â
âA good somethinâ or a bad somethinâ?â
âA very good something.â
His eyes darken, and suddenly, his attention returns to the movie. Joel clears his throat, then chugs the rest of his beer, leaning forward to set the empty bottle on the coffee table.Â
When he sits back, his arm is still behind you on the top of the couch, and he scoots the tiniest bit your way to have your bodies touching.Â
Itâs clear that thereâs a shift to the energy in the room, and the tension becomes palpableâhe likes you, and you think thereâs a possibility he more than likes you with how close he is. The thought has your heart pounding, and youâre unsure what to do next. Youâve only been with boys your own age, and Joel is so much older and more experienced.Â
The panic has you blurting out, âAre you seeing anyone?â Then, backpedaling, âNot that itâs any of my business, so donât feel obligated to answer.âÂ
He looks at you, and you keep staring at the TV, almost wishing the floor would swallow you whole.Â
âWhy do you wanna know?âÂ
âIâm nosy.âÂ
He huffs in amusement. âYou only wanna know âcause youâre nosy?âÂ
âThatâs what I said.âÂ
âNo other reason?âÂ
âCanât think of any.âÂ
âOkayâno, Iâm not seeinâ anyone. What about you? You got a boy back in Houston worryinâ about you?âÂ
âNope.âÂ
âReally?â The genuine surprise in his voice has your head turning to see the matching expression.Â
âWhatâs so shocking about that?â
He frowns. âI beg your pardon, darlinâ. It just doesnât make much sense that someone as pretty and fun as you doesnât have a line of boys waitinâ their turn to take you out.âÂ
Those butterflies in your stomach are flapping around again.Â
âNot really.â You shrug. âPlus, the guys my age usually only want sex but arenât very, um, giving, if you know what I mean.â
Now he looks grumpy. âSelfish boys,â he grumbles, and it makes you smile.Â
âSo, not an issue with someone older like you. Good to know.â You squeeze his thigh and keep speaking so he canât reply, âIf you donât mind me asking, why are you single?âÂ
For some reason, he canât look at you now, focusing on your hand. He reaches across his body to grab yours with his larger one, staring at your fingers. He lets out a long, weary sigh, his thumb rubbing against each of your dark blue-painted fingernails.Â
âWomen donât particularly like that Sarah is the most important person in my life and my top priorityâŚâ
âBut sheâs your daughter, she should be your top priority.âÂ
âThatâs the logic, but they want me all to themselves and donât like sharing.âÂ
âJoel?âÂ
His face lifts to meet your gaze.Â
âYeah?âÂ
âYouâve dated some truly shitty women.âÂ
He smiles. âI guess I have. It doesnât matter anymore. Iâve given up on datinâ. Itâs just a waste of time.âÂ
âThat is such a shame.âÂ
His dark eyes get even darker. âYouâre trouble.âÂ
âWhy am I trouble?âÂ
His eyebrow arches. âYour daddy would kill me.âÂ
Your brain short-circuits for a second as you take in the statementâheâs into you, heâs really into you. Now, what are you going to do?
âDonât you remember, Joel?â you ask and move to put your beer on the table. When you sit back, you cuddle a little closer into his side. âYou were worried about me driving home in the dark, so you offered me your guest roomâwe watched Die Hard, then turned in for the night. Youâre a stand-up guy for keeping your friendâs daughter safe.âÂ
His eyes move from yours to your mouth, his hand coming up to cradle the side of your faceâhis palm is so big his fingertips almost reach the back of your head. He starts leaning in, your heart hammering in your chest at the thought that heâs going to kiss you, and you stop breathing when his lips are only a hairâs breadth away from yours.
And then he pauses.Â
âTell me why you really came here tonight,â he rasps.Â
That confuses you, your brows pulling together, and you sit back to see his face. âI did? I needed to see if you had a spare key to my dadâs house.âÂ
His eyes are on yours. âBullshitâthereâs no way this just happened to be the last outfit you had.â He looks directly at your tits.Â
âIt is if you wait super last minute to do your laundry, and I told you, I have other clothes at my dadâs. Why do you think I came over here?âÂ
His gaze goes back to yours. âWith that dress youâre wearinâ and how you keep lookinâ at me, for a lot more than needinâ a key.âÂ
âYou thought I came over here to seduce youâŚ?â
âYeahâŚ?â
âWow.â You gently pat his cheek. âYou think Iâm way bolder than I actually amâme coming here and the outfit was not premeditated.â You shake your head.Â
His eyes round, and youâd think he was burned by how quickly his hand leaves you and how he moves away a little to put space between you. âFuck, have I been readinâ this wrong?âÂ
You scoot to have yourself against him again. âThe assumption I came here specifically to seduce you was very wrong. But youâre right that I definitely want you to fuck me, Joel.âÂ
âShit,â he breathes out and scrubs a palm over his face. âYouâre gonna get me in so much trouble.âÂ
Turning his way, you rub your hand along his jeans-covered thigh. âNo, Iâm not,â you tell him. âStop thinking, and kiss me.âÂ
His hand lowers. âNot thinkinâ is gonna get me killed.âÂ
âNot thinking is going to get you a blow job and pussy.â You press your palm between his legs over where you can feel heâs already hardening. âHell, Iâll sweeten the dealâyou can come anywhere you want.â
His eyes go wide. âJesus Christ,â he whispers, and you smile. His reaction makes you brave.Â
âTell me you donât want this, and weâll go back to watching the movie and pretend nothing happened. Orâand I like this option moreâyou kiss me, and weâll go as far as youâre willing to go.â Your hand moves up to hold his cheek, and itâs a good sign when he leans into your touch as you stare into his eyes. âBut Iâm going to make myself crystal clear, Joel. I want youâbadly. Youâre beyond sexy, and the fact youâre older and have a lot more experience than me is a big turn-on. Iâd love to know what good sex is like for once and maybe have you teach me some things.â You shrug your shoulder. âItâs up to you, though. Just know Iâm more than willing.âÂ
His brown eyes squeeze shut. âLord help me,â he says under his breath. A second passes, and then heâs looking at you. âFuck itâIâm already goinâ to hell.â Joelâs large palms grab your face, pulling you in to crush his lips against yours, muffling your surprised sound.Â
This kiss is unlike any youâve experienced before. Youâre used to overeager boys practically shoving their tongues down your throat the first chance they get, yet hereâs Joel claiming your lipsâyou can feel his every want and his desire for you with how thoroughly he kisses you. The soft pillow of his mouth moves with yours, his scent filling your noseâhints of the beer he drank and his spicy cologne imprinting this moment in your mind. Your eyes flutter closed, and your head goes dizzy from the arousal igniting in your belly.Â
Just one kiss and you know youâre ruined for anyone else.Â
His arms go around you, and he mouths at your chin. âCome here,â he says against your skin. âGet in my lap.âÂ
You do as youâre told, bunching up the bottom of your dress at your waist and moving to straddle his thighs. His hands go under your clothes to grab your ass, and heâs so surprised to feel bare skin he leans back with the confused expression youâre becoming intimately familiar with.Â
âYou really didnât come over just to fuck me?â he asks. His palms wander, and you know heâs discovered your thong when he hooks a thumb under its stretchy waistbandâthey were the last clean pair of underwear you had.Â
âI really didnât.â Youâre curious about something. âBut if I had, what are the chances that I wouldâve succeededâŚ?âÂ
âWith this dress and a little convincinâ? Pretty good.â
You smile. âReally?âÂ
âYeah. Youâre so fuckinâ beautiful and smart. I know this is a bad idea, and itâll probably bite me in the ass later, but Iâm so fuckinâ lonely, and youâre just too damn temptinâ to pass up.âÂ
The truth is clear in his eyes and makes you kiss himâyour fingers comb into the hair at the back of his head, finding it softer than you thought itâd be. It starts off slow and tender, just lips to lips, until Joel deepens it, the tip of his tongue making it past your lower lip. Hearing that heâs lonely tugs at your heart, and you want to do everything you can to make that loneliness disappear. Things start to heat up, and all you can do is follow his lead, moaning as he explores your mouth with his tongue. With his palms on your backside, he helps you rock your hips, grinding yourself against his hard cock beneath his jeans, rubbing your clit just right to fan the flames growing in your core.Â
When you finally need to come up for air, his hand grips your chin to turn your head as you pant, Joel kissing and nipping at your skin from the base of your neck upâtingles wash down your spine when he nibbles on your jaw. He gently bites your earlobe, and you gasp when his hot breath tickles your ear.Â
He huskily whispers into it, âYou want me?â His hand fondles your breast.Â
âYes.âÂ
âI can touch you?âÂ
âAnywhere.âÂ
âI need you to be a good girl and tell me when you do and donât like thingsâunderstand?âÂ
âYes.âÂ
âGood girl,â he purrs.Â
The way those two words make your cunt clench has you moaning, âFuck.â
He easily unzips the back of your dress, tugging the garment up and over your head, letting it fall unceremoniously to the floor. Youâre sitting astride his lap, the dark pools of his eyes taking in your mostly naked body, his big hands massaging your bra-covered breasts. Itâs surprising that being under his gaze, you donât immediately feel self-conscious, and you think that has to do with how heâs looking at youâthe desire and appreciation clear as he admires you.
âCan I take this off?â he asks, nodding towards what heâs touching.Â
âYes.âÂ
He sits up straighter, and itâs quick work for him to get your bra off, it landing on top of your dress. Heâs focused on your tits, holding them in his palms, weighing them. He leans forward, sucking your nipple into his mouth, and the sudden shock of pleasure has your breath catching in your throat, your fingers grabbing handfuls of his shirt for something to hold onto. When he grazes his teeth over the stiff bud, your entire body shiversâyour panties have a wet spot from your pussy leaking your arousal for him. He gives your other breast the same attention, leaving your skin shiny from spit when he comes off of it with a wet pop to look at you.Â
âLie down on the couch, baby.â He pats the empty seat next to him. âYour head all the way at the other end.âÂ
He doesnât have to ask you twice. You scramble out of his lap, the couchâs leather creaking as you crawl over to where he instructed and sit back on your elbows to see whatâs happening. Joel grunts as he gets up to stand, watching in interest when he squeezes the noticeable bulge at the front of his jeans. His arm goes behind his head to grab his shirt, pulling it up and off of his body to bare his torso.Â
At seeing so much of his golden skin, your jaw goes slackâhis freckled chest is so broad, tapering down to his trim waist, his abs showing a little bit of muscle definition you think is from doing manual labor and not working out. Your eyes fixate on the happy trail of hair below his belly button that disappears beneath the waistband of his jeans.
âSure could get used to you lookinâ at me like that.âÂ
That has your attention snapping up to his face, where you find him smirking, and you close your mouth.Â
âSorry,â you apologize, your eyes darting away from him.Â
âNothinâ to be sorry about, darlinâ. Makes me feel pretty fuckinâ great about the shape Iâm in.âÂ
You look at him again. âHate to break it to you, babe, but youâre in great shape and so hotâyouâre really down to fuck me?â You point at yourself.Â
He kneels on the sofa by your feet, his hand on the back of it to steady himself.
âDarlinâ, if I didnât know your daddy, and you were a stranger I met in a bar, Iâd bring you home in a heartbeat. I feel like a real lucky son of a bitch that someone as young and pretty as you has any interest in an old guy like me.â He lifts one of your legs and gently kisses the inside of your ankle, the sweetness of it making you melt a little.Â
âOh, Iâm very interested in you.âÂ
âIs that so?â he asks and spreads open your legs. He crawls over you, and you lie back, Joel nestling his hips between your thighs for you to feel how hard he is as he dips his head, kissing up the column of your throatâthe nerves in your stomach flutter wildly.Â
âYes,â you whisper and need to touch him, wrapping your arms around his torso to press your palms against the warm skin on his shouldersâhis body shudders, a rumbling groan coming from his chest.Â
You squeak in surprise when his lips are suddenly on yours, kissing you hard.Â
He takes over all of your sensesâheâs all you see, heâs all you feel, heâs all you taste, heâs all you hear, heâs all you smell. Itâs him, and him aloneâhis lips on yours, his tongue in your mouth, his weight on top of you. Your fingers thread into his hair, moaning as he takes over your very world, reveling in this feeling of being wanted.Â
His lips leave yours, both of you breathing a little heavier. His teeth gently sink into your chin before kissing along the underside of your jaw.Â
He speaks into your skin, his words muffled, âIâm very interested in you, too. I shouldnât be, but I am.â His mouth ends up at your ear, and he quietly asks, âCan I eat your pussy?âÂ
âOh.â The question surprises you. âIâm usually the one who asks. Do you want me to blow you first?â There was always a quid pro quo when it came to oral.Â
His head lifts to look you in the eye.Â
âDarlinâ?â
âYes, Joel?âÂ
âYouâve been with some truly shitty boys.âÂ
It makes you laugh, and he smiles.Â
âAinât that the truth,â you reply.Â
âIt should always be ladies firstâmay I?âÂ
What a gentleman.Â
âAbsolutely.âÂ
âGood,â he says and pecks you on the lips.Â
He doesnât immediately move off of you, and it catches you off guard. Instead, his mouth blazes a trail, kissing down your bodyâyour neck, your chest, and your belly. This is when your self-consciousness rears its ugly head. Joel is getting up close and personal with your imperfectionsâyour scars, stretch marks, cellulite, all those little details you normally kept hidden in the safety of dark rooms or under shirts when you hooked up with someone. Now, youâre basically naked, the lamp is on, and he can see it all, which makes you feel uneasy.Â
He kisses just above your belly button, then below it, going lower and lower until he places one last kiss on your panties, over your mound. He sits up on his knees, tracing the lines and curves of your thighs and hips with his large palms while he drinks you in as you lie thereâyou have to fight the urge to cover yourself, unable to meet his gaze.
The silence is broken when Joel speaks. âYouâre so fuckinâ beautiful.âÂ
Your eyes seek out his face where you donât find any deception, but you have to ask, âReally?âÂ
âReally.â He nods. âFuckinâ gorgeous.âÂ
His attention goes to the apex of your thighs, and the pink of his tongue swipes along his bottom lip as if heâs imagining how youâll taste. He strokes the pad of his thumb over the visible damp spot on your underwear, his other hand squeezing his cock thatâs straining in his jeans.Â
âI bet you have the prettiest pussy, too,â he says, and gets his fingers under the elastic waistband on your panties, pulling them down and off your legs, the air cool against your now bared skin. He shuffles back a little, then bends forward, spreading your lips open with two fingers as his face hovers over it. You think your heart might beat out of your chest with how fast itâs thudding, your skin feeling so hot. âI fuckinâ knew it, such a pretty pussy,â Joel murmurs. He circles your clit with his thumb, and the pleasure has every muscle in your body tensing and your eyes closing. âYouâre gonna taste so good.âÂ
He loudly groans as he drags the flat of his tongue along your cunt, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking.
âOh, god,â you moan, your body squirming at how good it feels.Â
Joel has to pin down your hips with an arm across them to keep you still, his face buried in your pussy. He goes straight to the source, lapping at your entrance to taste your arousal while the tip of his perfect nose rubs against your bundle of nerves, his facial hair prickling your skin.Â
Oh.Â
Oh no.Â
Youâre fucked.Â
Itâs not even a minute in, and you can already feel your orgasm taking shape low in your belly, the muscles beginning to wind up. If you thought the first kiss ruined you, you know youâre ruined by how eagerly heâs eating you outâwho knew this could be so good? You have to wonder how youâll ever be able to fool around with anyone else when Joel is all youâll be able to think about or compare it toâthis is the only moment doubt invades your mind. You feel like this is all a mistake, but itâs quickly squashed by how unbelievably horny and curious you are.Â
His mouth lifts, and you whine at its loss. âGimme a second,â he pants. âI gotta see how tight you are.â Thatâs when one of his thick fingers presses to your soaked opening, and he slowly starts to push it inside.Â
The slight stretch makes you gasp his name, your fingers clawing at the sofaâs maroon leather. Â
âChrist,â Joel says. âYouâre squeezinâ me. With how fuckinâ tight you are, Iâd think this is your first time.âÂ
You sit back up on your elbows and open your eyes to look at him.Â
âYou just have massive fingers, and itâs been a while.âÂ
His gaze meets yours as he smirks. âWell, Iâm gonna loosen you up with my massive fingers, and I think youâll enjoy it.âÂ
He doesnât wait for you to respond. His head dips, flicking his tongue side-to-side against your clit when you feel the sudden pressure of his second digit pushing into youâthereâs even more of a stretch and the delicious feeling of being full. You fall back on the couch, tangling your fingers into the brown waves of hair on his head, moans falling unbidden from your lips. His digits crook as they pump in and out of you, sliding along your upper wall when they press into something that elicits white-hot pleasure, making you keen and wiggle under the hold he has on your lower half.
Yeah, youâre totally and completely fucked.Â
Heâs relentless with his mouth and fingers as you careen toward your end, free-falling in the throes of pleasure. Heâs really going to get you off, and you think you might be in love with him. Is that crazy? Falling for the guy you absolutely should not fall forâthat you canât even have any kind of future withâbecause itâd ruin both of your lives, especially his.Â
Why does that make you want him more?Â
You definitely understand now why Eve ate the forbidden fruitâthe temptation leads to such sweet gratification when you give in.Â
He sucks your throbbing clit into his mouth, sweeping his tongue around it, and you can hear the wet squelch of him fucking his fingers into your cunt. Your thighs are tremblingâyouâre so close, the coil inside you winding tighter and tighter until it snaps, and youâre coming with an unintelligible cry. Your body seizes up, euphoria exploding out from your center, radiating to your fingers and toes. Joel removes his digits, his tongue taking their place to catch every bit of your slick he can get, groaning as he lets no drop go to waste.Â
Youâve never come so hard, feeling a little floaty as you ride out your high, your chest heaving heavy breaths. With how shaky your arms and legs are, youâd think you were out in the freezing cold.Â
Joelâs mouth comes off of you and he sits up, rubbing his hands along the outside of your legs.Â
âSuch a good girl for me,â he says. âWas it good?â
âWas it good?â you parrot back at him and push yourself up into a sitting position. âIt was more than good, Joelâoh my god, it was amazing.âÂ
The bottom half of his face glistens in the lamplight, his shiny lips turning up in a smile.Â
âYeah?âÂ
âYes.â
âYou still wanna fuck?âÂ
âI think I will die if you donât fuck me.â
He chuckles, and thatâs all the answer he needs. Heâs off the couch instantly, and you watch as he hurriedly unbuckles his belt and gets his jeans undone, shoving them and his boxers down his legs so fast it makes you giggle. Heâs balancing on one foot, peeling off his sock, and you finally get a good look at his dickâitâs hard and bobbing between his legs, the tip flushed red and shiny from precum, and your eyes round at how big he is.Â
âSecond thoughts?â he asks, taking off his other sock.Â
Your gaze rises to his, seeing heâs frowning. âNo.â You shake your head. âItâs more, âI sure hope that thing fits inside me.ââÂ
He crookedly smiles, his chest puffing up a little. âItâll fitâI promise.â And he has the audacity to wink at you.Â
Just as quickly as he got off the sofa, heâs getting back on it, kneeling in the space between your spread thighs. His attention is on your pussy, rubbing the tip of himself against your swollen clit and through your wetness. Nerves swirl in your belly, along with arousal, his free hand giving your hip a reassuring squeeze before heâs spitting on his fingers and slicking up his cock. He notches himself at your entrance, and your heart is in your throat as you hold your breath.
âJust relax, baby,â he says. âYou can take me.âÂ
He slowly starts feeding his hard length into you, making you gasp when the fat head breaches your slick cunt, your eyes squeezing shut, your fingers digging into the couchâs leather cushions. A groan rumbles from his throat, and you answer with a drawn-out moan as he burrows his thick cock deep inside you, your tight walls stretching to their limits to accommodate his size. Full doesnât even begin to describe how stuffed you areâheâs hot inside you, almost searing, and you can feel him pulsing. He bottoms out and goes completely still, his hands on your hips in a bruising grip.
âFuck, thatâs good,â he rasps. âYou okay?â His thumbs stroke circles on your skin.Â
âYes.â It comes out as more of a squeak. âI just need a second.âÂ
âOf course, sweetheart.âÂ
Darlinâ, baby, and now sweetheart when his dick is inside you? Is he trying to make you fall in love with him?
He bends at the waist, one hand on the couch holding up his weight while the other massages your breast, his lips wrapping around your pebbled nipple, the sparks of pleasure going straight to your pussy. Your fingers wind up in his hair; what heâs doing to you has you whimpering at how good it feels and only makes you wetter where youâre joined. He pulls each of your legs up to rest on his ribs while his mouth moves higher, kissing your sternum and up the arch of your neck, sucking on your pulse point and making you squirm underneath him.Â
His hands end up on either side of your head, his lips leaving behind a wet streak of kisses along the hinge of your jaw to finally ghost over yoursâyou can feel his breaths and smell your musk. Heâs so close it wouldnât take much more for your mouths to meet.Â
His nose nudges yours. âNeed more time?â he whispers.Â
Enough has passed that you donât feel as overwhelmed. You slide your palms up his back to his shoulders.Â
âNo,â you answer just as quietly. âYou can move.âÂ
He pulls out almost all the way and pushes back in as his mouth claims yours, muffling your sounds when he sets up a rhythm of long, hard strokes. Youâre goneâall rational thoughts go out the window, and the only thing you can think about is how his cock is moving in and out of you. Itâs so distracting youâre having trouble kissing Joel back because your brain keeps screaming, âso big, so full, so good.âÂ
Youâre feverishly clutching at his shoulder blades, your nails leaving crescent moon imprints and scratches youâre sure will bleed on his golden skin, Joel moaning into your mouth. It surprises you when you feel the familiar tension of another orgasm making itself known deep in your core, the pressure rising with each thrust, the angle of them causing him to slide against spots you never knew existed, and you donât ever want this to end.Â
His lips leave yours, pressing his forehead to your cheek. Heâs breathing hard, sweat beginning to bead on his skin as he keeps the same pace.Â
âYou feel so fuckinâ good,â he pants. âFuck, Iâll never get enough of this pussy. Just wanna stay inside it until my dick is all it knows.âÂ
Your legs are quivering, your body is burning up, and you canât get enough of how fucking good this feels. One timeâone timeâand youâre addicted, youâre drunk on the pleasure and will do anythingâanythingâfor this to happen again.Â
âItâs yours,â you gasp. âOh, god, itâs yours!âÂ
His lips move to your ear, huskily asking, âItâs mine, baby? Your pussy is mine? Iâm fuckinâ ya that good?âÂ
Youâre so out of it and lost in the lust you start babbling, âYes, itâs yoursâfuck, ruin me,â you whine.Â
âThatâs what you want, for me to ruin your perfect little pussy?â
âPleaseâmake me feel it. Make me ache to have your cock inside me again. Make me yours.âÂ
He growls, and you think youâve said the wrong thing because heâs immediately pulling out, your eyes springing open in time to see him sit up on his knees.Â
His big hands grab hold of your waist. âFlip,â is all he says, and you find yourself getting manhandled onto your front, Joel tugging you up onto your hands and knees. He wastes no time sheathing himself back inside you, pushing in so deep that your eyes roll back in your head and your toes curl.
Joelâs hips are flush against your ass, the full length of him seated all the way inside of youâyou canât think, your mouth open in a silent cry. Heâs filling you to the absolute brim, and it becomes evident your cup has truly runneth over.Â
He was right, though. It did fit.Â
A shuddery breath escapes you. He only allows you a moment to get used to the new fullness before heâs pulling out until just the tip of him remains and snapping his hips forward hard enough it knocks the air from your lungsâthis is how you learn what itâs like to really be fucked, and fucked good.Â
His fingers dig into the skin on your waist, pulling you back as he thrusts forward at a pace that has you lightheaded, stars dancing behind your closed eyelids each time he presses against that heavenly spot inside you.Â
Warmth grows in your belly, the sounds from the TV overshadowed by the filthy cacophony of skin hitting skin and the audible wetness of his cock working in and out of your used cuntâheâs grunting with each stroke, your moans stuttering from the onslaught.
âIs this what you wanted?â he asks through gritted teeth, emphasizing each word with a hard thrust.Â
Itâs a struggle to gather your thoughts and form a response with how good heâs fucking you.Â
A palm lands on the side of your ass in a loud smack, the sweet sting causing you to clench around him and whimper.Â
âAnswer me, sweetheart,â he says. âIs this what you wanted?âÂ
All you can gasp out is a single word. âYes!âÂ
âAm I fuckinâ you good?âÂ
âYes!âÂ
Heâs pounding into you at a near-brutal pace, the fire inside you only getting hotter as each second passes.Â
âLook at me,â he orders.Â
It takes everything in you to turn your head and look over your shoulder. Joel is a sight to beholdâa flush rising from his chest to his cheeks, the sweat on his skin making it glisten under the lampâs light, and his hair sticking wetly to his forehead. His eyes are heavy-lidded and glazed over, his jaw clenched.Â
He slows, his gaze on yours.Â
âYou wanna be mine?â he asks.Â
âYes.âÂ
The moment your answer leaves your lips, heâs blanketing your back, holding himself up with a hand on the couch, the other going under you to palm your breast and tweak your stiff nipple with his fingers.Â
He lightly bites your earlobe, his facial hair scratching your cheek when he kisses it.Â
âIâm gonna make you come,â he says through heavy breaths. âThen Iâm gonna fuck you full of meâyou want that?âÂ
A shiver moves through you, and you gulp.Â
âYes.âÂ
âGood girl.âÂ
His hand smooths down your front over your stomach to between your legs, where he starts circling your clit with two fingers. Itâs like a live wire along your spine, electricity sparking in your coreâthat added to the sensations of his cock splitting you open and pushing in and out of you has you rocketing toward your release.Â
âYou gonna come for me?â His hot breaths fan over your ear. âYou gonna let me feel you come all over my cock? Come on, let me have itâcome for me.âÂ
Joelâs bent over you, fucking into you harder and faster, his fingers deliciously swirling around your throbbing bud as he grunts in your ear with every thrust, all of it driving you higher and higher to your end.Â
Youâre so worked up that it doesnât take much to have you falling over the edgeâthe muscles in your belly pull tight, your orgasm ripping through you, gasping Joelâs name. He sucks in a breath when your pussy clamps down on him, then loudly groans, continuing to fuck you through your high, and doesnât stopâhis fingers keep up their assault on your clit, and his hips snap into you in quick, short bursts that extend your high. You come, and come, and come to the point your arms give out, and your body shakes and twitches from all of the pleasure coursing through it.Â
When you think you canât take any more, relief washes over you that Joel follows suit. With one last thrust, he buries himself all the way to the hilt inside you as he falls forward, his front framing your back, his teeth sinking into the meat of your shoulder. He comes with a dirty, rumbling groanâyou feel his dick thicken and pulse, hot spurts of his spend filling you. He grinds his hips, fucking it as deep as it will go, then stills. Â
The movieâs ending credits are playing, hearing the music and your and Joelâs ragged breaths as you both come down. Heâs at the same awkward angle as you, with your hips up and your faces downâhis sweaty chest is pressed to your back, your bodies sticking together everywhere they touch. Itâs not the most comfortable position, but with how your limbs tremble, youâre not entirely sure you can even move.Â
You asked him to ruin you, and oh boy, did he deliverâyouâre absolutely, positively ruined. It kills you that after whatever this night is, youâll have to go back to subpar sex with guys who couldnât find the clit if they were given a map and detailed directions. This is the second time tonight that you fear youâve made a grave mistake hooking up with Joel, and the post-sex clarity is not helping the situation at all.Â
What were you thinking?
Thatâs easy; you werenât. Or, at the very least, you werenât thinking with your brain. Your pussy took the lead on this one, and it looks like sheâs gotten you into a bit of a situation.Â
Your thoughts are interrupted when Joelâs arm wraps around your middle, and he turns you two onto your sides, the couch just barely wide enough to fit you both.Â
âThaâs better,â Joel slurs, nuzzling his face into your hair. His hand over your stomach feels around until he finds your smaller one, lacing your fingers together and holding it to your chestâoh, heâs cuddling with you. Itâs unexpected and nice. You close your eyes and enjoy this taste of intimacy.Â
Many minutes pass before he mumbles something you canât make out.Â
âIâm sorry,â you start and are immediately embarrassed by how hoarse and scratchy your voice sounds from all the sounds you made tonight. You clear your throat and try again, âIâm sorryâwhat did you say?âÂ
He turns his face so itâs out of your hair.Â
âI asked if you wanna stay over,â he says.Â
You smile. âAre you getting forgetful, Joel? You said I could stay over when I got here.âÂ
âFuckinâ smartass,â he grumbles, and you giggle. âWhat I meant was, do you wanna stay in my room? With me,â he clarifies.Â
âOnly if youâre okay that I sleep nakedâIâm not wearing my dress to bed.âÂ
âWas kinda hopinâ youâd be naked.â He kisses your shoulder. âBut if youâre more comfortable wearinâ somethinâ, I can get you one of my t-shirtsâitâs no big deal.âÂ
âIt baffles me that youâre single.âÂ
âWhy?â
âUh, because youâre incredibly sweet, amazing in bed, a great father, very handsome, hardworking, and just an all-around catch. If I had the opportunity, and you know, there wasnât the elephant in the roomââ The fact heâs much older than you and one of your dadâs best friends. ââIâd date you in a heartbeat. If you ever give dating a shot again, youâre going to make one lucky woman very happy.âÂ
âFuck,â Joel groans, letting go of your hand to press his palm to his face. âWhat the hell am I doinâ?â
That makes your stomach drop, and you frownâheâs regretting everything, and you canât blame him. The post-sex clarity is a real bitch sometimes.Â
âStressing for no reason,â you reply. Youâre pretty sure you can walk, so you get up from the sofa, ignoring how wobbly your legs feel and his come leaking down your thigh. âDonât you remember, Joel?â you ask, looking toward the floor for your clothes. âYou let me stay the night âcause you were worried about me driving home in the dark.â You carefully bend down to pick up your thong, followed by your bra and dress. âWe watched Die Hard,â you continue, straightening to stand. âThen turned in for the night to our respective bedrooms. Youâre a real stand-up guy for caring so much about your friendâs daughterâs safety.âÂ
You canât even look at him, focusing instead on the TV where the Pearl Harbor DVDâs menu is on screen.Â
âStop that.âÂ
âStop what?âÂ
âTryinâ to pretend nothinâ happened.âÂ
âYou clearly wish nothing happened, so nothing happenedâwhereâs the bathroom?â You need to clean up, and youâre tempted to just leave altogether.Â
âUp the stairs, second door on the rightâwhen the hell did I say I wished nothinâ happened?âÂ
âYou didnât have to. Your âwhat the hell am I doinâ?â was enough for me to get it.â You hug your clothes closer to your body. âAnyways, thanks for tonight. I think Iâm just gonna use the bathroom and get out of here. I donât want you to worry, so Iâll stay at that cheap motel by the highway.â The sign said it was twenty-something dollars a night, and you can swing that. You start heading toward the stairs.Â
âHey, stop.â You donât. You keep walking, willing the unshed tears in your eyes not to fall.Â
Why are you so upset? Youâre well aware that this can only be a one-time thing. It was something fun and sexy where you got to fuck the older, unattainable guy youâve been crushing on for a while. It wasnât anything serious, and couldnât be anything serious, because thereâs no future for you two together. Not when heâs a good friend of your fatherâs. That kills any chance of having a relationship with Joel.Â
What hurts is he regrets it and wishes it never happenedâyouâre a mistake, and who wants to be someoneâs mistake?Â
His heavy footsteps sound behind you. âDarlinâ, stop,â he says again, and you continue ignoring him. Fingers latch around your bicep and lightly tug. âPlease, stop for a second. Talk to me.â Finally, you do as heâs requested, standing still in front of the staircase. He turns you to look at him in his big brown eyes, his hands holding your arms.Â
âI donât wish nothinâ happened,â he says. âYou were talkinâ about how if things were different, youâd date me, but since they are the way they are, you wonât. I was thinkinâ to myself âwhat the hell am I doinâ wishinâ youâd change your mind,â when I know itâs for the best.â
âOhâreally?âÂ
Hope swells in your chest, butterflies fluttering around in your tummy.Â
âYeah.â He nods. âTell me you want nothinâ more to do with me, and Iâll grab you a towel and some of my clothes so you can wash up and retire to the guest room unless youâre truly set on stayinâ in a motel. In that case, Iâll pay for your room somewhere safer and much nicer, so I know youâll be okay. Orâand I like this option moreâyou kiss me, and Iâll take you up to my bedroom so we can shower, either together or separately, whatever youâre comfortable with. Then we can get into my bed where we can talk and figure things out.âÂ
It sounds like he doesnât want this to be a one-time thing, either, and that makes you so happy you let your clothes fall to the floor to throw your arms around his neck, crashing your lips to his. Joel groans, his arm sliding behind your back, hugging you closer to him, his other hand cradling your cheek. Suddenly, heâs backing you up until your heels hit the first step, and he guides you to sit on a higher one, Joel kneeling on a lower stair to be at the right height that his hips slot between your thighs when he lays you back. He licks into your mouth, deepening the kiss, your fingers digging into his shoulder blades.Â
With how good he made you feel tonight, how wanted, you need more of him. Thereâs a looming fear in the back of your mind that this is too good to be trueâthat youâll never be with him like this again, which makes you desperate for him. Your hand snakes its way between your bodies, taking his half-hard cock into your palm, slowly stroking itâa low rumble comes from the back of Joelâs throat. He gets his hand to the juncture of your thighs, sliding his fingers through the puffy lips of your sex, gathering your arousal and his come on his fingertips to rub at your swollen clit.Â
âYouâre mine,â he says into your lips.Â
âIâm yours,â you answer.Â
This is how you end up fucking on the stairs, Joel thrusting into you at a pace that has your toes curled and your fingers gripping his assâyour spine tingles from his mouth exploring your neck, mapping out the spots that make you gasp and moan, and youâre in heaven.Â
A door slams shut on the other side of the railing, and your eyes fly open.
âHey, Asshole!â a man calls.Â
Joelâs hand covers your mouth, and you watch the intruder walk through the dining room to the kitchen without seeing you.Â
âI brought over pizza so you can stop beinâ a sad and lonely sonofabitch!âÂ
Joel immediately pulls out and gets off you, using his strength to help you flip over. âUpstairs,â he whispers, tapping you on the hip, and you go as quickly and quietly as you can with Joel following.Â
You make it to the second-story landing, and he grabs your hand, tugging you all the way down the hall into what you know is his bedroom by how it smells like him. He closes the door and locks it before beelining to his dresser, roughly pulling out one drawer from which he grabs a burgundy t-shirt, then another that he gets a pair of stretchy gray sweatpants.Â
âIs this a dress?!â Is yelled from downstairs. âDo you have a girl over?! Whoâd wanna fuck your sorry ass?!â
Surprisingly, the clothes in Joelâs hands are not for him; he shoves them into your arms and ushers you over to his bathroom.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says, flicking on the light, the fan automatically turning on. âItâs Tommy. Stay in here, and Iâll kick him out.â Obnoxiously loud footsteps are coming up the stairs, and he has to take a deep breath, his eyes to the sky like heâs praying God will smite his brother right this second. âLord, give me strength,â he breathes.Â
âWhere would you even meet a girl?!â Tommy asks from the hallway. âAll you do is workâyou never go out.âÂ
Joel pecks you on the lips. âIâll be right backâstay in here,â he tells you again, and this time, he leaves, shutting the door behind him.Â
Thereâs banging on the bedroom door, and your ears perk up as you put on the clothes.Â
âGo home, Tommy,â he says.Â
âNot until I know who this pretty dress belongs to.âÂ
âGive me thatâitâs none of your fuckinâ business. Leave.âÂ
âCome on, Joelâwe know the same people. Did you finally give in to Nikki? Sheâs wanted to go out with you for a long fuckinâ time.âÂ
âNo, and itâs still none of your fuckinâ business who I have in the house I pay for. So, get goinâ, or Iâm gonna make you go.âÂ
âYou can be a real dick, Joel. Why are you beinâ so fuckinâ secretive?â
âDo I ask about who you take home from the bar?âÂ
âNo, butââ
âExactly,â Joel interrupts. âI donât give a fuck what you do in your spare time, and I sure as hell donât need to tell you what I do in mine, so leave, TommyâIâm not in the mood for your bullshit.âÂ
âWith how fuckinâ grouchy you are, I donât think you got laid at allâIâm gonna get goinâ âcause you clearly need the company of a woman. Bye, mystery woman with the pretty dress hidinâ in Joelâs bathroom!â he yells. âHopefully you can cheer this fucker up! Enjoy the pizza!âÂ
It goes quiet, and you think Joel left the room, too. You canât go anywhere, so you decide to take in your surroundingsâthe bathroom is cleaner than youâd expect from a single man, you have to put the toilet seat down when you pee, and as youâre washing your hands, you notice thereâs only one toothbrush in a cup.Â
You know you shouldnât snoop, but you pull open the medicine cabinet and find an extra tube of toothpaste, some Tylenol, Ibuprofen, a thing of pain relief cream, then a shelf with a few medicine bottles that intrigues youâprescription pain pills, antidepressants, and heartburn medication. No red flags, but youâre a little worried about how much pain heâs in. You close the cabinet, and soft knocking on the bathroom door makes you jump.Â
âYou can come out,â Joelâs muffled voice says. âHeâs gone.âÂ
Walking over to the door, you open it, Joel leaning against the doorframe in a white t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants he mustâve put on before talking to Tommy.Â
He sighs. âSo, that was my brother.âÂ
âSeems niceâif I remember correctly, heâs younger, right?âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
âThat explains how annoying he is.âÂ
He smiles, and an amused huff leaves him. âYeah, heâs annoyinâ alright.âÂ
âWe have the house to ourselves?âÂ
âWe doâI walked him out myself.âÂ
You grin. âWonderful.â You grab a fistful of his shirt. âBecause I think you said something about us showering together, and Iâd like to do that right now, then go eat pizzaâIâve somehow worked up an appetite,â you tell him and pull him forward; he happily comes your way with a smirk.Â
âWorked up an appetite, huh?â he asks, his eyes on your mouth.Â
âYes. No clue how.âÂ
He closes the distance, his lips almost touching yours, when he replies, âLet me remind you how,â and kisses you.Â
An hour later, youâre walking down the stairs clean and in your borrowed clothes.Â
âCan we eat then go to bed?â you ask, through a yawn. âI had classes today, and that long ass drive, plus all the sex. Iâm so damn tired.âÂ
Joelâs behind you in just his sweatpants.Â
âIâm fuckinâ tired, too. That sounds good to me.âÂ
The only lights on downstairs are the lamps in the living room. You walk into the dark kitchen, Joel flipping on the light as he follows, and you head for the stove where the pizza is, popping open the box to see itâs pepperoni.Â
âIâll grab us some plates,â Joel says, rubbing your upper arms. He kisses the top of your head before stepping over to a cabinet.
Turning around, youâre about to ask Joel where the cups are when the dining room light comes on, Tommy standing by the switch. You gasp in shock; Joelâs immediate reaction is to grab a knife from the knife block and get between you and the unwanted visitorâit takes him a second to recognize itâs his brother.Â
âGoddammit, Tommy!â Joel shouts and slams the butcher knife onto the countertop. âAre you tryinâ to get yourself killed?!â
âNo,â his brother answers, shaking his head, and he looks a little too amused. âBut you sure the hell are! Her?!â He points at you and has the audacity to laugh. âOh, god, Joel,â he says through his glee and grabs the back of a chair, his other hand on his chest as he chuckles. âHer daddy is gonna kill youâyouâre fucked!â
Joel sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, perching a palm on his hip. âYeah, yeah, yeah, laugh it up,â he says. âIâm a dead man walking.âÂ
âYou are!â Tommy calms down, and his shit-eating grin annoys you. âWhat the hell were you thinkinâ?â he asks. âI mean, I know what you were thinkinâ. I just canât get over you not only robbinâ the fuckinâ cradle, but banginâ your best buddyâs daughter. How long has whatever this isââ He gestures at you both. ââbeen goinâ on?âÂ
âIt just happened tonightâI donât need you lecturinâ me on right and wrong. I know itâs a fucked up situation.âÂ
A fucked up situation? Ouch. The comment has you crossing your arms over your chest, staring at the floor.Â
âFucked up is right, and Iâve got no fuckinâ idea how youâre gonna get out of it. Her daddy finds out about this, and heâs gonna shoot you deader than dead.âÂ
âI told you I didnât want you lecturinâ me.âÂ
Tommy puts his hands up. âHey, Iâm not lecturinâ. Iâm just statinâ the facts. I wanna make sure you know this thing between you two could get you killed. Youâve got a daughter, Joelâwhat would you do in this situation?âÂ
âWoah,â you interrupt, moving to stand beside JoelâTommyâs comment about Sarah is a fucking nuke you need to try and hopefully defuse. âFirst of all, I just want to point out that I am a consenting adult and can fuck whoever I want. Second, I need to set the record straight and say that my dad isnât going to kill anyone. Heâll be mad as hell if he finds out, but he isnât going to commit murder because, truth be told, heâs never given a fuck about my life choices. Iâd also like to add that this is kinda his fault for not having me visit more often because now Joel and I are pretty much strangers, and this whole thing isnât as bad as it sounds.âÂ
âItâs still pretty bad, honey,â Tommy replies, his attention turning to you, smiling.Â
âMaybe, but itâs also nobodyâs business who I fuck.âÂ
âSure, but this person you fucked is one of your daddyâs best friends whoseâno offenseâway too old for you.âÂ
âWhy does everyone keep callinâ me old?â Joel grumbles.Â
Tommy looks at his brother. ââCause you are, you old man.â He suddenly looks like he just realized something. âWait a goddamn minute,â Tommy says. âJoel, are you havinâ a midlife crisis? Youâre around the age people have those, right? Itâd make sense why youâd risk your life to fuck her.âÂ
âGet out, Tommy,â Joel replies, pointing toward the front door. âIâve had enough of you.âÂ
His younger brother pouts. ââCause I called you old?âÂ
âOut.âÂ
âFine.â He slowly starts walking toward the hallway that leads to the front door. âIâll get out of your hair so the two of you can enjoy the rest of your night. Bye!âÂ
The door loudly closes as he leaves.Â
Well, youâre not entirely sure whatâs going to happen now. Between the comment about Sarah and the other things that had been said, you wouldnât be surprised if Joel ends this. You might as well cut your losses and get it over with to save yourself from more heartbreak.Â
Your eyes are on the ground, the first tear falling down your cheek. âAfter all that, I know whatever this is is probably over,â you quietly say. âBut is there a chance I can still sleep in your bed with you tonight? And if youâre willing, have you hold me?â
He turns and pulls you into his arms.
âYeah, you can sleep with me,â he answers and kisses your hair. âBut Iâm gonna need you to stop.âÂ
You lean back to look at him with watery eyes. âStop what?âÂ
A sad smile is on his lips. âJumpinâ to conclusions without talkinâ to me. Youâve already got one foot out the door, and I havenât even opened it.â
âItâs just everything Tommy said.âÂ
He lightly squeezes your biceps. âTommy was beinâ a little shit. You were right when you said this isnât as bad as it sounds, but you gotta be honest with me about somethinâ.âÂ
âWhat?â you ask.
His hands come up to hold your face, his thumbs wiping away the tears that have fallen. âAre you positive your daddy wonât kill me? Iâve got Sarah to think about, and even though I like you a lot, Iâm not gonna risk dyinâ to be happy.âÂ
The sweetest man and the best father.
You think about it for a second, and the sad truth is you canât imagine your dad killing anyone for youâhe doesnât love you that much. He doesnât love you to the same degree that Joel loves Sarah. With how easily Joel grabbed a knife to protect you, thereâs no doubt in your mind heâd kill for his daughter without hesitation.Â
âHeâll be pissed off, but he isnât going to kill you. We also donât need to tell him anything unless this turns into something. We can keep it to ourselves for now.âÂ
He hums in agreement. âYou know, if you wanted, you could start cominâ here to do your laundry...âÂ
You smile. âHow will you explain that to Sarah?âÂ
âThat Iâm helpinâ you out, which is true. Plus, Iâve got the guest room.âÂ
âUh huh, the guest room that Iâll sleep in?âÂ
âYes.â He nods.Â
âAlone?âÂ
âI sleepwalk.âÂ
You snort. âStop it.â You playfully push his chest. âSarah is not gonna believe you sleepwalked into the guest room.âÂ
He snatches your hand, bringing it up to kiss your knuckles. âWho said anythinâ about Sarah knowinâ Iâm in the guest room, or you beinâ in my room for that matter, while sheâs sleepinâ? There are also nights like tonight she spends with friends.âÂ
âYou really want me to hang out here?â
âYeah. Itâs nice to have company that isnât Tommy.â
âI believe that. As long as Iâm not a bother, Iâll do my laundry here.â
He smiles. âNot a bother, and you can wash your clothes tomorrow and stay another night. You could even stay over Sunday, too, since you have Monday offâyouâre more than welcome.â
You loop your arms around his neck. âYes, Joel. I will spend my long weekend with you.âÂ
He leans in, brushing his lips against yours. âGood.âÂ
Main Masterlist
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#pedro pascal#joel miller#joel miller/reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#wheresarizona writes#joel miller fanfiction
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part 2 - read part 1 here
â° pairing. â emo!hs x reader
â° genre. â early 2000s au, best friendâs older brother, childhood friends to lovers, smut, light angst.
â° word count. â 10k+
â° warnings. â swearing, family issues, friendship betrayal, mention of drugs/alcohol, smut [ cunnilingus, rough sex, âŚidk how else to describe it ] reader and hs are both 18+, minors dni, cliffhanger.
â° a/n. PART 3 IS IN THE WORKS PART 3 IS IN THD WORKS PART 3 IS IN THE WORKS
â° perm taglist. @intromortal @aanniikkaa @meetletsinmontauk @lovelyyf @right-person-wrong-time
âââ
âDid you seriously think I wouldnât find out?â Chaeryeong is glaring daggers at you upon opening the front door, arms crossed across her chest as she eyes you. Her lips are twisted into a disgusted snarl, youâve never seen her this upset before.
You swallow the lump in your throat, âFind out about what?â
She cocks her head to the side, squinting her eyes at you, âDonât act like you donât know.â
Fuck, youâre screwed. If there were a list of all the reasons why you shouldnât have had sex with Lee Heeseung, the simple fact of him being your best friendâs brother would be number one.
With closed eyes, you let out a relieved sigh. As much as you wanted to wait to tell Chaeryeong about hooking up with Heeseung, itâd be an enormous weight off your shoulders not having to hide it any longer. Itâd only been a few days since it happened, but you hate keeping secrets from her.
âHowâd you find out?â You question, chewing on your bottom lip.
âMy parents told me, duh.â
Holy crap, Heeseung told his parents the two of you had sex? Why the fuck would he do that?
âThey did?â You ask, completely bewildered.
âWell, yeah!â Chaeryeong finally uncrosses her arms, demeanor completely changing as her gaze softens, âWhy didnât you tell me your sister got engaged?â
Thank God you didnât elaborate any further.
âOh! Because they probably arenât gonna last.â You respond, stepping into the Lee household once Chaeryeong allows you to enter. Itâs been a few days since youâve been here, mostly due to the fact that you were completely avoiding Heeseung.
The empty condom in his trash bin had been plaguing your mind nonstop, you could barely even sleep from how embarrassed you were. Why did he fake his orgasm? What if he didn't fake an orgasm and just shot a blank? Did you do something wrong? Was he not attracted to you? Why was the condom empty?
Seeing him in person wouldâve only intensified the thoughts roaming in your head, so you avoided him at all costs up until now. Youâd promised the Lee siblings that youâd finally see Twilight with them and their friends despite not being able to function correctly around either of them.
Chaeryeong snickers, following you into the living room. âOoh, thatâs not nice.â
âItâs true, though,â you explain, âsheâs still so young, only a few years older than your brother. I mean, can you picture Heeseung getting married in a few years?â
The regret from that question fills you almost immediately.
âSure,â Chaeryeong responds, pausing to greet the eager doberman charging at her. âAs long as he finds the right person; heâd get married in a heartbeat.â
You want to ask what Chaeryeongâs definition of âthe perfect personâ would be for Heeseung or the type of girl sheâd be willing to set him up with. Itâd probably be the unnamed, mysterious redhead you recently dreamed about curb stomping (yikes!).
You donât respond to this, taking a seat on the sofa when the sudden shout of your name has you flinching. Itâs Chaeryeongâs parents, excitedly greeting you with open arms as you politely stand to properly hug them. âI feel like itâs been so long since weâve seen you! Howâs your family? We just heard the news about your sister!â Mrs. Lee ambushes you with questions, all while cradling your face.
âAbout how sheâs making the biggest mistake of her life?â You half-joke.
Mrs. Lee playfully waves a hand in your direction as she steps into the kitchen, her husband only a few feet behind. âOh, donât say that. Iâm sure the two of them will be very happy together.â She turns to her husband, grabbing his hand, âI just canât believe Imogen is getting married. I still remember when she first started high school.â
Mr. Lee sighs in disbelief. âI know,â he mumbles, nodding at you. âYouâre up next soon, huh?â
âMaybe she can marry Heeseung,â Mrs. Lee joked, opening her fridge, âset him straight.â
Thereâs an idea.
âGross, Mom. Donât wish that on her.â Chaeryeong groans in disgust as she plops down next to you.
Well, that answers your previous question.
âWe should probably get going, right? To make it in time for the trailers?â You ask.
âYeah, we should.â Chaeryeong responds, tilting her head up towards the staircase, âHeeseung! Hurry up and come downstairs! Weâre ready to go!â
âGimmie a minute!â He shouts back, and a chill runs down your spine. Itâs been too long since youâve heard his voice. The last time you saw him, he was lying naked in his bed; youâre not sure how youâll survive being around him all night knowing what your last encounter was like.
As promised, Heeseung is sliding down the staircase a minute later and nails the landing. Heâs wearing a black Twilight shirt featuring the leading couple, black cargo pants, and, of course, black sneakers. He looks like his usual self until you take a closer look and notice the reddish-black eyeshadow that decorated his eyes. It wasnât much, just enough to make his eyes pop, and it complimented him perfectly. A second later, you see the black nail polish neatly coated on his nails. You have to blink a few times to ensure this is real life and youâre not trapped in a wet dream.
He strolls into the kitchen, ignoring the stares from his parents before digging through the fridge. His mom clears her throat, crossing her arms at him.
âWhat?â He asks, retrieving a two-liter Mountain Dew bottle.
âSeriously, Heeseung? The makeup? The nail polish?â She questions, clearly frustrated.
Heeseung cocks his head, unscrewing the soda bottleâs lid. âWhatâs wrong with it? Chaeryeongâs wearing the same thing.â
âSon, you know thatâs different.â His father interjects.
Heeseung takes a swig of the soda before responding. âWhy? Because sheâs a girl?â
âItâs not like that, hon. Itâs justâŚwe didnât make a big deal of it when you first started the piercings, and the tattoos, and the hair dye, but thisâŚitâs a little much. Donât you think?â His mother asks.
You want to step in and tell his parents that Heeseung is old enough to make his own decisions and express himself as he pleases, but itâs not your place. Instead, you cheer silently when Chaeryeong surprisingly interrupts the discussion. âDid you guys seriously force him to come back home just to criticize how he presents himself, or would you rather have a peaceful summer?â
âWe arenât trying to criticize him, Chaeryeong. Weâre just looking out for our child.â Mr. Lee responds.
âItâs a special occasion, Dad. Is it bad that I wanted to look nice forââ Heeseung abruptly cuts himself short, quickly glancing in your direction before returning his attention to his parents. â...to go see Twilight with my friends?â
What was that about?
Silence passes, and the three stare at each other until Mrs. Lee sighs defeatedly and says, âNo, thereâs nothing wrong with that, sweetheart. I hope you guys enjoy the movie.â
âWe will,â Heeseung responds, closing the soda bottle lid and placing it back in the fridge. He heads for the front door, beckoning you and Chaeryeong to follow behind. Heâs eager to leave the house, quickly swinging the front door open and jogging towards his car.
You and Chaeryeong say goodbye to her parents with a promise to be home by eleven before following in Heeseungâs footsteps, who already has the car running. As you wait for Chaeryeong to finish locking the front door, Heeseung rolls down his window and shouts, âHurry up! Letâs go!â
âWill you calm down?!â Chaeryeong throws back, rolling her eyes as she finally removes the house key from the lock.
You follow her towards Heeseungâs car, sliding into the backseat as you pretend not to notice Heeseung watching you through the rearview mirror. He wants you to look at him, but you refuse, busying yourself by buckling your seatbelt and convincing Chaeryeong to do the same. Once Heeseung is convinced youâre not going to do so much as glance at him, he puts the car in drive and pulls into the road.
Chaeryeong talks your ear off in the backseat about whatever comes to mind while you keep your eyes on the window. Itâs hard to not notice Heeseung glancing back at you through the mirror at every red light or stop sign, but you donât dare meet his gaze.
The movie theaterâs parking lot is crowded when you arrive; it takes Heeseung a few minutes to eventually locate a spot. A smile is plastered on his face as he parks the car, eager to see some of his closest friends after being separated. He informs you and Chaeryeong to disregard anything foolish he friends may say, claiming they arrived early to smoke behind the movie theater, so theyâre more than likely too high to function properly.
Heeseung shrugs when Chaeryeong asks why people do that, shoving his hands into his pockets as the three of you make your way towards the theater entrance. âSome people say it makes the movie experience better.â
You want to ask Heeseung if heâs ever been high, but you can barely even bring yourself to look in his direction; let alone ask him a question. So youâre silent as the three of you enter the movie theater, instantly spotting Heeseungâs bandmates in the far corner.
WellâŚHeeseungâs bandmates and one other guest.
The bubbly redhead greets you guys first, running up to Heeseung with open arms as if they havenât seen each other in a million years. It makes you want to vomit.
You look away as they hug, directing your attention to the concession stand employee who had apparently already been watching you. His name tag reads âJakeâ, and he resembles a slightly younger version of Heeseung, with the same dark hair and similar lip piercing. His eyes stay on you until a customer blocks your path, and youâre back to watching Heeseung reunite with his friends.
âHey, you were the one at that party, right? With Chaeryeong?â The redhead asks, squinting her eyes at you.
âYeah.â Is all you respond with, because why in Godâs name is this girl talking to you right now?
âItâs nice to meet you, Iâm Scar,â she introduces herself, extending a hand for you to shake.
Chaeryeong interjects, grabbing ahold of your wrist while glaring at Scar. âYour name is Scarlett.â
She drags you along to the ticketbooth, mumbling about she doesnât like nor trusts Scar. When you ask for her reasonsings, she responds with, âI donât need one. I just donât like her.â
At least youâre on the same page about that.
Still, you canât help but wonder why Chaeryeong has a distaste for Scar. You have your petty reasoning for disliking her, but Chaeryeong (more than likely) has better knowledge of Scarâs personality, so whatever reasons she has for disliking her could be legitimate.
Youâre thinking of this as Heeseung is ordering the tickets for everyone, asking the employee to give him a minute when the friend you recognise as Jay starts tapping his shoulder. âWe should go see Saw instead, it just came out.â
Heeseung looks genuinely confused at the suggestion. âWhat? No, we came here to see Twilight.â
âSo?!â Jungwon chimes in, eyes as red as the devil, âCome on, dude, youâve already seen Twilight, donât you wanna see something new?â
âFuck no, weâre literally in the middle of buying the tickets.â Heeseung reminds everyone.
âI kinda wanna see Saw, too.â
âSame.â
âYeah, me too.â
âI do, too.â
Heeseung whips his head around at his sister, âWhat? Even you?â
Chaeryeong scoffs, âWell, yeah! Twilight just seems boring in comparison.â
âCome on guys,â the employee interrupts, âyouâre holding up the line.â
Heeseungs turns towards you. âDo you still wanna see Twilight?â
Truthfully, you want to go home; but seeing how excited Heeseung was for the movie made you feel something, so you nod. He lets out a relieved sigh.
He moves out of the way to allow his friends to buy their tickets first, slipping his sister cash to pay for hers; to which she initially rejects. âI donât need your money,â she claims.
âJust take it, Chaeryeong. I brought it for you.â
From what you can make out, itâs enough to cover her ticket and grab something from the concession stand. The pair of siblings may bicker a lot, but itâs nice to know Heeseung still looks out for his younger sister whenever he can.
Chaeryeong reluctantly accepts the money and purchases her ticket, you watch as Heeseung follows suit; ordering two tickets for Twilight and stopping you from opening your purse. âDonât worry about it.â
âOh, itâs fine. I have enough.â You reassure him.
Heeseung laughs to himself, âWhy are the two of you like this?â He questions, fishing out crumpled dollar bills from his pocket and handing them to the cashier who sighs in annoyance, straightening and inspecting each bill before placing it in his register.
You donât know why Heeseung insists on being so nice to you despite your persistence on not speaking to him. A part of you wonders if he thinks this is some kind of date now that the two of you will be separated from the group. It doesnât matter, you donât know why youâre thinking too much into it.
Once all the tickets have been purchased, the seven of you head towards the concession stand. Chaeryeong debates pushing herself to the front of the long line, claiming that the theater should make accommodations to those whoâs movie is starting sooner. Or something like that, you canât really focus with the way Jake is staring at you. Youâre used to guys staring all the time, but they tend to shyly look away upon making eye contact.
Jake is quite the opposite, staring you down every chance he gets. Your skin feels hot, and youâre suddenly growing anxious under his gaze.
When the group ahead of you has finished ordering and is heading off into their theater, youâre sure to stick close to Heeseung as you approach the counter. Jake eyes him over once before returning his gaze to you. âWhat can I get for you guys?â
Heeseung takes the liberty of ordering a large popcorn for the two of you to share, and doesnât even get mad when you request a slushie instead of a fountain drink. He doesnât let you pay of course, swatting your hand away when you absentmindedly reach for your purse. âYou seriously have to stop doing that.â He mumbles, handing Jake the cash.
Jake is quick to prepare the popcorn and Heeseungâs drink, but takes his time when making your slushie. Heâs sure to fill it to the brim, and youâre worried it may accidentally overflow and leave a sticky mess. âYou didnât want candy or anything?â He questions, handing you your drink.
You shrug, âMaybe Twizzlers, butââ
Before you can finish, Jake is reaching under the counter then sliding you a pack of Twizzlers. âOn me.â
âOh, are you sure?â You ask, hesitant to accept the free candy.
Jake sends Heeseung a cocky smirk before he responds, âYeah, enjoy the movie.â
You thank Jake and pretend to not notice the death glares the two boys are sending one another before walking with Heeseung to your theater. âThat guy was weird.â He comments.
âYeah.â You agree, but itâs definitely not true. Jake was friendly and clearly interested in you, unlike Heeseung who was sending you nonstop, draining mixed signals. If his definition of weird is someone who is straightforward, then perhaps you should start going after weirdos.
Once youâre settled in your seats in the back of the theater, â per Heeseungâs request â he clears his throat then says, âSo, I tried messaging you on Facebook. Didnât get anything back.â
âOh, sorry. I havenât been using Facebook that much.â You reply, hoping your lame excuse is believable enough.
He nods, eyes bouncing between you and the movie trailers playing in the background. âYeah, I figured.â He says. When you donât respond, he continues, âI wouldâve asked Chaeryeong for your number, but I didnât want her to get suspicious or anything.â
âThatâs smart.â You admit, nodding in agreement.
âAre you okay?â Heeseung asks suddenly, his full attention to you.
You finally make eye contact, and the expression on his face makes your heart sink. He looks genuinely concerned and confused by your sudden coldness. You hate being so mean to him, but youâre too embarrassed to explain the real reason why youâve been avoiding him. So you nod and say, âJust a little tired.â
Itâs clear he doesnât believe this, the same expression is still on his face as he refocuses on the movie trailers.
You hate how awkward it feels to be around him now, never in a million years would you have guessed the two of you would end up like this. A week ago you wouldâve been overjoyed at the idea of being on a movie date with Heeseung; and now youâre considering leaving early and catching a taxi home.
The two of you remain silent as the rest of the trailers play on, and Heeseung immediately sits up in his seat when the lights finally dim and the curtains are being pulled back further. Heâs incredibly quiet throughout the movie aside from a muffled chuckle every now and then; he even side-eyes anyone making too much noise.
You enjoy Twilight nonetheless, agreeing with Heeseung that you do in fact dress like Bella Swan from time to time. When he asks if you liked it as youâre exiting the theater, you tell him it was very nice, and that you hope thereâll be another movie.
Heeseung smiles at this, tossing his empty cup in a nearby trash bin. âIâm sure there will be. Maybe theyâll even cast you as Bellaâs stunt double since you already have the clothes.â
âShut up.â You tease, and it feels nice to be able to joke around with him as usual. Maybe youâll finally have the courage to tell Heeseung why youâve been so distant these past few days.
Saw doesnât get out for another few minutes, so youâre stuck waiting in the lobby for Chaeryeong and everyone else. Heeseung gestures towards the nearly empty slushie cup clutched in your hands, âYou get free refills on that, I think.â
You take his word, strolling over to the concession stand. Jake spots you immediately and gestures for you to skip around the line. You shake your head, but he still beckons for you to come over. You feel bad, but the line has gotten longer since you were first here, and you really donât want to wait in a long line just for a refill.
âWhat flavor?â He asks once youâve slid him your cup.
You tell him anything is fine and he gets to work, combining the cherry and blue raspberry flavors. âHow was the movie?â
âIt was good. The vampire stuff was cool.â
âHave you seen Saw yet? It just came out.â
âNo, I havenât.â
âItâs so good; if you wanna give me your number maybe we can see it together some time.â
What is it with guys offering to take you out to a movie theyâve already seen? Youâre not complaining, itâs just odd.
Jake is clearly interested in you and has offered to take you out. You'd be silly to pass up on this guy just because your current relationship with your longtime crush is at a standstill. So you accept, scribbling your phone number down on a napkin with your name underneath. He makes a promise to call you once his shift is over, and that he looks forward to seeing you.
When you turn to meet up with Heeseung, heâs gone. You catch him storming out of the theater, hauling ass to his car.
You run to catch up to him, calling out his name and begging him to slow down.
When he finally does stop, thereâs a look on his face that youâve never seen before. He gets angry all the time, but this was something completely different, something unrecognizable.
He was hurt.
âSo you were just using me, huh?â
What? What is he talking about?
âUsing you for what?â
âTo lose your virginity. You just wanted to get it over with, right?â His voice is slightly hushed now, but still loud enough for you to feel embarrassed about anyone passing through the parking lot.
âHeeseung, what are you talking about?â
âYou used me to lose your virginity, so when you date other guys you can tell them youâve had sex before. Is that what this is?â
This accusation hurts, considering that Heeseung was the only guy youâve ever been interested in romantically and sexually. You donât know where this theory is coming from, but you donât like it.
Heeseung continues before you respond, âI tried reaching out and talking to you, and you just blew me off! And yet here you are giving your number to random guys! Am I not good enough for you?!â
âItâs not like that, Heeseung!â You donât mean to raise your voice at him, but you canât help it. Both of your emotions were at an all time high.
âThen what is it like?!â
Here goes nothing.
Thereâs already tears forming as you go to explain yourself. âI didnât reach out to you becauseâŚbecause I was embarrassed.â
âYou were embarrassed to have sex with me?â
This is bad; really, really bad. Much worse than you could have ever imagined.
Itâs started raining by now, and if Heeseung noticed it, then he doesnât seem to care; allowing the raindrops to stain his outfit and ruin his eye makeup.
It feels like a scene from a movie, him standing there in the pouring rain waiting for a response while you stumble over your words to formulate one.
âNo!â You yell in reassurance, âNo, no, no. Of course not. I was embarrassed because I know you didnât finish. I just thought maybe I did something wrong or maybe I didnât do enough.â
Heeseung quirks a brow at you, âWhat makes you think I didnât finish?â
You really hate that heâs making you explain this. âI saw the condom afterwards; it was empty.â
âYou went digging in my trash can to find the condom?â Now he looks more disgusted than confused; this is going so horribly.
âNo! I saw it when I went to get my phone off the charger.â
Heeseung takes a minute to process everything, scratching his chin in deep thought. You canât tell what heâs feeling, but he does look hurt. It makes you regret avoiding him in the first place.
âSo, you were prepared to never talk to me again over an empty condom?â Despite his tough demeanor, heâs clearly shaking as he questions you.
You want to say no, that it wasnât a case, but you canât bring yourself to lie to him again. So you say nothing. Heeseung nods at your lack of response before turning around and walking towards his car. You remain still, frozen in place, watching as he sits on the hood of his car and smokes a cigarette.
If it werenât for Chaeryeong finishing her movie within the next few minutes, you wouldâve walked the entire way home.
âââ
This bitch is driving you crazy.
Your older sister, Imogen, is home for a few days to start her wedding preparations. The fake bridezilla persona she's putting on bothers you the most, bursting out in tears at the most inconvenient times or having a breakdown about selecting a theme. Deep down, she doesn't care about any of this bullshit; she's like you about parties or big events.
"This is literally the biggest day of my life, and you're being so fucking difficult." Imogen snarls at you, pouring herself a cup of coffee. You're sitting a few feet away on the kitchen counter, staring out the kitchen window. Despite Imogen's occasional yelling and snarky comments, all you can think of is Heeseung.
It's been an entire week since the movie theater incident. You haven't stopped by the Lee household not once, telling Chaeryeong you fell ill and don't want to get her sick. It's another lame excuse, but she buys it, opting to talk to you on the phone daily until you recover.
You have yet to speak to Heeseung; but it's not like you've tried. The idea of messaging him on Facebook and not receiving a response makes you anxious, and it's hard to believe you subjected him to the same torture not long ago. It doesn't help that Scarlett is suddenly all over his page, commenting on nearly every one of his posts, writing on his wall, or tagging him in pictures. Your recurring dream of curb-stomping her is back in full force.
You sigh at your sister, "Whatever you say, Imogen."
She waves dismissively at you, "Please, don't even talk to me right now."
You hop off the counter in annoyance and stomp off towards the staircase, mumbling, "Fucking drama queen."
"Language." Your mom warns you, flipping through one of the several bridal magazines your sister has stacked on the coffee table.
Imogen scoffs, setting her mug on the counter. "I'm the drama queen? Whenever I talk about my wedding, you throw a fit."
"Why are you pretending to care about this stupid wedding and that stupid boy you barely even know?!" You shout back from the staircase.
"If my wedding is so stupid, then don't come!"
"I don't even want to go to your stupid wedding with your stupid fiancĂŠ and your stupid red velvet cake that no one's going to fucking eat!"
This is probably the dumbest fight you've ever had.
Imogen doesnât respond to this, advised by your mother no to and to just let you stomp up the stairs in a furious rage. You make a beeline straight to your desktop, waking up the computer with a shake of the mouse and entering your password.
Facebook is already open once youâve signed in, Heeseungâs page staring right back at you. Youâre ashamed to admit youâd been cyber stalking him, but you really didnât have any other choice. Seeing him in person wouldâve been too much, but you still want to make sure heâs doing okay.
Thereâs a new post up when you refresh the page, you chew on your bottom lip as you anxiously wait for it to finish loading.
Itâs a picture of his dirty Chuck Taylorâs perched upon a wooden stool. You recognize the background immediately, heâs in the treehouse in his backyard. You and Chaeryeong would spend hours up there as kids, giving each other manicures and exchanging secrets; now you can barely look her in the eye without bursting out in tears. You hate how complicated things have become.
Thereâs a light tap against your door that has you swiveling around in your chair. Itâs Imogen, leaning against your doorframe with her arms crossed. âWhoâs that?â
âChaeryeongâs brother.â You respond, scrolling to a photo that actually shows his face.
Imogen steps further into your bedroom, squinting her eyes at the computer screen. âOh, yeah. Hasnât changed much, has he?â When you remain silent, she asks, âWould it be wrong of me to assume heâs the real reason why youâre so upset?â
You sigh, letting your shoulders drop. âYouâd be very correct, actually.â
She nods in understanding, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. âSo, whatâs going on? You like him?â
âWe kind of like each other, I guess.â You mumble. To be honest, youâre not quite sure how Heeseung feels about you right now.
âAnd Chaeryeong doesnât approve of it?â
You snort, âChaeryeong doesnât know. There was nothing to tell her at first, but things have changed.â
âAre you guys dating?â
âNo. We actually havenât talked in a week. I may have hurt his feelings.â
Imogen nods towards your desktop, âWhere is he now?â
You shrug, âHome, I guess.â
She stands, stretching out her limbs. She glances around your room, locates a jacket dangling lifelessly from your doorknob, and tosses it to you. âLetâs go.â
Taking an impromptu trip to the Lee household had you sweating. What if Heeseung doesnât even want to see you? What if Chaeryeong catches you talking and asks whatâs going on?
Each concern you raise is instantly shot down by Imogen, claiming youâre creating excuses to avoid seeing him, how youâre only imagining the worst possible scenarios. You appreciate her overwhelming support but canât help the nervousness creeping through your body as her car approaches the Lee household.
âRemember, be apologetic but not desperate,â Imogen informs you, putting her car in park in front of the house.
âI am desperate.â You remind her.
âWell, donât let him see it. You got this.â
You thank your sister one last time for the advice before stepping out of her car. Youâre careful to avoid being seen from windows as you make your way into the backyard; not entirely sure what youâd say if Chaeryeong were to catch you.
You scale the tree quickly, silently praying the old wooden steps are stable enough to hold your weight.
You sigh in relief once youâve reached the top, only to groan at the sight of Scarlett sitting across from you. She looks up from her iPod with a bright smile, quickly pulling out her earbuds as you enter the treehouse. âHey, stranger! Watcha doing here?â
Her enthusiasm really makes you sick. âCame to see Heeseung,â you pause to glance around the tiny, wooden deathtrap, âbut heâs nowhere to be found.â
âHeâll be back soon; went to use the bathroom,â Scarlett informs you, running her hands through her hair. âSo, you guys really like each other, huh?â
What? She knows about that?
âHeeseung told you?â You question, trying your best to appear unbothered. Youâre unsure where sheâs going with this, but you have no reason to trust her.
Scarlett nods, âWe tell each other everything. So when he told me you guys werenât talking, I may have devised a plan to help you come around. You do use Facebook, right?â She smirks
Holy shit, all the posts of them together were to make you feel jealous enough to have a conversation with him; and your sworn enemy was the mastermind behind it. It was all a ploy to get under your skin, and you fell right into the trap.
âYouâre a stubborn little thing, though. Didnât think itâd take you so long.â She comments, slipping her jacket on.
You shrug, âI didnât think heâd want to talk to me.â
âHeeseung always wants to talk to you. I donât mind it, though. You seem good for him.â
Aside from Chaeryeong, Scarlett is probably the last person you wouldâve expected to be supportive of your relationship with Heeseung. So, to hear sheâd been secretly rooting for you behind the scenes nearly gives you whiplash. You almost feel wrong about your dreams of shoving her face into the pavement.
You tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, âSo, nothing is going on between you guys?â
Scarlett grimaces as if you deeply offended her, âOf course not! Donât get me wrong, heâs cute, but not my type. His sister is cute, though.â
Woah.
âChaeryeong? Lee Chaeryeong? Youâre into her?â You ask, completely stunned.
âHell yes. Hey, do you think you could set us up? Heeseung would never.â
âYou do know that Chaeryeong canât stand you, right?â
Scarlett excitedly nods, âI know, itâs kind of a turn-on.â
You hold your hands out to stop her from elaborating any further. Scarlett has surprised you in more ways than one in less than five minutes. Youâre sure any new information wouldâve made your head explode.
âIâllâŚtry my best.â You promise; not quite sure how Chaeryeong would feel about the idea of Scarlett liking her.
âFor what?â A voice interrupts, causing you and Scarlett to direct your attention to the treehouseâs entrance. And there he is, in all his gothic glory.
âGirl talk, none of your business,â Scarlett responds, making room for Heeseung to crawl in.
âFine. You keep your secrets; Iâll keep mine.â Heeseung groans, sitting between the two of you.
âWill do. Iâm outta here. Got a hot date with a box of hair dye. See you suckers later.â Scarlett waves goodbye as she exits the treehouse, reminding you of your promise before disappearing down the steps.
Heeseung clears his throat, sweeping his hair away from his eyes. "Soâ"
"I'm sorry," you cut him off, "I should've reached out and talked to you, but I was just too embarrassed and didn't know how to approach you about it. I really like you, and I wasn't using you to lose my virginity. I mean, you're the only person I've ever been interested in. So, again, I'm sorry."
He sighs, "I understand why you were embarrassed, but I promise it had nothing to do with you."
"Then what was it?"
Heeseung anxiously scratches the back of his head before he responds. "It's just thatâŚsometimesâŚit takes me a little bit longer to, uhâŚto finish."
Oh.
"Is it because of yourâŚsize?" You can't help but wonder.
Heeseung snorts, "What, you think I'm big?"
"I'm out of here." You joke, faking as if you're about to leave.
"Wait, wait, wait." He stops you, "I was only kidding. I never really thought size played a factor in it, but every guy is different. But, still, that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy us having sex. I mean, you had already finished, and I didn't want to tire you out just for my sake."
Knowing he had a perfectly reasonable explanation makes you feel even worse about spending all that time avoiding him. You want to tell him you wouldn't mind him tiring you out, that the idea excites you, but you refrain.
A beat of silence passes, and you ask, "But, I'm sure if there's something that you're really into, then it wouldn't take as long for you to finish. Right?"
Heeseung nods, "I guess."
"Then, what is it? What are you into?"
He coughs, tips of his ears turning a light shade of pink. "UmâŚI guess I'm intoâŚroughness?"
Ah.
"That's not a big deal. A lot of people are probably into that."
"I mean, it's fine either way, but I mostly prefer when girls are kinda rough with me. Fuck, this is embarrassing."
"It's not!" You reassure him, placing a gentle hand on his knee, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me."
Heeseung stares at your hand on his knee before placing his own on top. You twist yours upwards and interlock your fingers, not missing the smile that forms on his face. His bangs have swept into his eyes again, and you use your free hand to move them out of the way. "It was my first time, too, by the way."
You snort, "You don't need to say that just to make me feel better."
"I'm serious," he continues, "I mean, I've gotten pretty handsy in the past, but nothing like what we did."
You shake your head, "I don't buy it. You seemed so experienced like you knew what you were doing."
Heeseung shrugs, "I mean, I'm not completely innocent. I may occasionally watch certain videos and read certain stories from time to time."
Porn and smut. Beautiful combination.
He shakes his head, "You still don't believe me; how come?"
You sigh, memories of the night before he left for college flashing in your mind. How you ran home in tears, how he only responded to Scar's comment on Chaeryeong's Facebook post. It almost hurts to think about. "The night before you left for school, there was an opened condom wrapper on your floor. I just figuredâŚyou know."
Heeseung nods at the memory. "I wasn't gonna go to the dorms the next day. I was planning on running away, that's why I gave you that bandana. After my parents helped bring my stuff to the dorms, I was gonna put everything in my car then take off."
You're having a hard time processing this information. Why would Heeseung plan on running away? What does this story have to do with the empty condom?
He continues, clutching your hand even tighter. "I only told a few people I was leaving, and there was this one girl who came over to say goodbye. She'd been really into me for a while and was heartbroken that I was leaving. We were about to hook up, hence the condom wrapper, but I couldn't do it."
"Why?" You question.
"Didn't feel right. I wasn't into her the same way she was into me. Just couldn't do it." He explains, eyes staring deep into yours. You believe him; you know he's being truthful.
"What made you decide to stay?" You ask.
"For Chaeryeong," he answers, "I couldn't just leave her like that. And for you, too."
Though you've felt it for many years, telling Heeseung you love him is too soon. But you want to, so very badly.
"I'm glad you decided to stay." Your voice is barely a whisper now as you try to stop yourself from tearing up.
He nods, "Me too."
You sit in comfortable silence for a minute, clutching each other's hands. You wish you could stay like this forever.
"I just realized you never told me if there's anything you're into." He points out.
You shrug, "Just you." And it's true: Heeseung is the only person you've ever been interested in. Everything he says and does is genuinely attractive to you.
He drops your hand gently, using it to tilt your head towards him, and he kisses you.
You're quick to cradle the back of his head as his hands snake around your waist, deepening the kiss. You move to straddle his lap, slowly pushing him onto his back. He grunts in surprise, breaking away from the kiss. "Youâ"
"Stop talking." You demand before your lips intertwine with his once again. With one hand on his chest, you reach to grab a fistful of his hair and tug lightly, earning a satisfied moan from him. You're not used to being rough with guys, but you're sure Heeseung enjoys it with the way his erection is pressing up against your thigh.
Reluctantly, you pull away from him and sit up, staring at him sprawled underneath you in complete awe. "Alright, I'll message you my number so we can text. See you later."
"No! No, no, no. Please don't go." He pleads, holding you in place when you go to stand, "Just stay a little longer, please."
You smile down at him, fighting the urge to stay in the treehouse. "I can't. Imogen is waiting out front. We'll see each other soon, okay?" You promise, planting a kiss on his forehead.
Heeseung nods, drumming against the floor as he watches you crawl out of the treehouse. "Don't be too surprised if I seem extra excited to see you next time." He calls after you.
"Trust me, I won't."
âââ
Heeseung is the first boy to ever sneak in through your bedroom window.
He carelessly tosses his backpack in first, cringing when it lands on your carpeted floor with a loud thud. Though youâve assured him your parents are heavy sleepers, heâs still worried youâll get in trouble if he makes too much noise and accidentally reveals himself. âSorry,â he apologizes, hand gripping your forearm as you help pull him in.
âItâs fine,â you whisper back, âtheyâre not gonna wake up.â
âStill,â he grunts, using his upper body strength to pull him further into your room. âDonât want you getting in trouble.â
Itâs a day after the treehouse incident; as promised, you sent Heeseung your number and spent all day texting back and forth. Despite not being big on texting, you admire how Heeseung likes to keep you updated on what heâs doing and how he checks up on you to ensure youâre okay.
âWeâll be fine, but just in case, I did make room for you in my closet in case you have to hide.â You inform him.
Heeseung stifles a laugh, âGood to know.â He settles himself on the edge of your bed, moving over once he realizes heâd sat on a pile of clothing. âOh, were you about to shower?â
âI was,â you answer, moving the clothing over to your nightstand, âbut Iâll wait until after you leave.â
He has to stop himself from making a joke about joining you in the shower. He nods, leaning down to drag his backpack towards him, âGuess what I got today.â
âWhat?â You question, legs folded underneath your body as you sit beside him.
Heeseung slowly unzips his backpack, careful not to make too much noise before rummaging through it and clutching something in his hand. He momentarily turns his back towards you, clips something to his shirt, then turns back around.
Thereâs a name tag on his chest now with his name scribbled in black ink and a little star next to it. âA job?â
He nods, âAt that music store, Spin City. Need to start saving up before classes start. Plus, I wanna take you out somewhere nice before summerâs over.â
You gulp, âLike, a date?â
âYeah. I mean, unless⌠I donât know. I just kinda figuredâŚâ He trails off, suddenly worried he may be scaring you off.
You grab ahold of his hand, âI know, and trust me, youâre perfect, and I want us to be together. But, the night we saw you at that party, I did ask Chaeryeong if she would be upset if I was into you. Surprisingly, she said she wouldnât mind as long as I talked to her before making a move on you. And, wellâŚâ
âWe made a move on each other without telling her,â Heeseung finishes for you.
You nod, âExactly.â
He sighs, âSo, Iâm guessing that means you wanna wait before we make things official.â
âYeah. No matter what, I still want to be with you. But itâd be best for all of us to get her on board with this first. Show her how much we truly care for each other, and make sure sheâs okay with it. So she knows my relationship with you wonât affect our friendship, and vice versa.â You explain. Heeseungâs eyes never stray from yours, listening intently and nodding at everything you say.
âThatâs fair,â he agrees, âItâs a good idea. Do you want me to talk to her? Or for us to talk to her together?â
You shake your head, âSheâll definitely freak out on you; itâs best if I do it alone first, then you talk to her afterward.â
Heeseung leans back against your bed, resting his head on your pillow. Itâs funny how different your aesthetics are; he looks perfectly out of place, sprawled on your baby pink pillow surrounded by teddy bears. âWhen?â
âI dunno,â you respond, lowering yourself until your head rests comfortably on his bicep. âDoesnât have to be right away. As long as itâs before we move into the dorms.â
âWe shouldnât wait too long, though. Itâll only make things worse.â Heeseung mumbles, pulling you closer to him.
âI know. Iâll have a talk with her soon, I promise.â
You interlock pinkies to solidify your promise and ease his nerves. You hadnât realized how anxiety-inducing this was for Heeseung as well. The idea of Chaeryeong not approving of your relationship had him genuinely worried.
âBut, you should know that no matter whatââ he starts.
You cut him off, âI know.â
âââ
The hands that once purposely dumped slime in your hair are now tugging your panties down your legs.
âCan we try something?â Heeseung asks with a mumble against your lips, your soft blue underwear now clutched in the palm of his hand.
âLike what? I actually make you come for once?â You joke, earning a laugh from Heeseung.
âDonât worry about me.â He presses another kiss against your lips, âYou trust me?â
âOf course.â You respond, sitting up in Heeseungâs bed as he moves backward, never breaking eye contact with you. He pushes your skirt up slightly but pats your hand away when you go to remove it altogether.
âLeave it on.â He commands, bringing himself at face level with your cunt.
Youâve never felt this shy in your life, grateful your bunched-up skirt created the tiniest barrier between having Heeseung see you all flustered. Never had you been this intimate with a guy, especially not a guy you technically werenât even dating.
His thumb is circling your clit before you have the time to protest, to tell him he doesnât have to do this just for your sake, but the feeling of his fingers pressed against you has you at a loss for words.
âThis okay?â He asks.
âYeah.â You respond, tilting your head upwards to stare at the ceiling.
Before you know it, his middle and index fingers are pressed against your opening, eliciting a gasp from your lips. At your reaction, Heeseung slips his finger into your entrance, thumb still playing with your clit. He insists on being teasingly slow today, wanting to draw out every moment and observe your reaction.
He pumps his fingers in and out of you in a slow, consistent motion, an amused smirk on his lips when he hears your breathing become ragged. Abruptly, he slips his fingers out of you, moving your thighs to rest them atop his shoulders.
âWait, you donât have toâoh fuck.â Youâre cut off by Heeseung pushing himself forward, placing a sudden kiss on your clit that has your hips jolting in the air. His hand grabs your waist and licks at your slit, keeping you in place as he gently returns your body to his mattress.
His growing erection is the last of his worries, all too focused on dragging his tongue across your cunt. He flattens his tongue, pulling the wetness upward until heâs circling your clit again. In search of something to grab onto, your hands grip the bed sheets until Heeseung reaches forward, moving your hand over to grip his hair.
His eyes are closed when you look down at him, and you swear you can hear him moan as he eats you out. You try your best to keep the noise down out of fear someone will hear, but you canât help but yell out when heâs back to fingering you, all while circling your clit with his tongue.
Your grip on his hair tightens, pushing his face further into your pussy, and he lets out a satisfied groan. Itâs embarrassing how quickly your orgasm approaches; everything with Heeseung is so intense. He knows this, eyes fluttering open to watch your expressions. Black eyeshadow is smeared across his eyelids as his eyes focus on your own, hands gripping your thighs as he tongue circles your clit.
His fingers are relentlessly pumping into your cunt now, contrasting against how teasingly slow his tongue is moving. He pulls his mouth away, lips glistening with your arousal, and asks, âYou close?â
You donât respond directly, but the grip you have on his hair gives him all the answers he needs before heâs diving back in. It doesnât take much for you to come after that, a final kiss pressed on your clit, sending you over the edge and coating Heeseungâs fingers.
Heeseung doesnât stop there, still continuing to lick and suck your clit until youâre begging him to stop from the overstimulation.
âSorry.â He apologizes, planting a kiss on your inner thigh, âWas that good?â
âThat was literally the best thing thatâs ever happened to me.â You respond. Heeseung lets out a laugh as he crawls up next to you. âI should be upset with you, though.â
âWhat?â He questions, peppering your face with kisses, âWhyâs that?â
âI came over to talk to your sister about us, and you distracted me.â
âHowâd I do that?â
âBecause! You came downstairs in your eyeshadow. Then you were all like, âOh, hey. I cleaned my room; wanna check it out?ââ You mimic a deep voice that sounds nothing like his.
âI apologize for putting on eyeshadow, bringing you to my room, and eating you out. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?â
âI guess.â
You both laugh at this as you move to pull your skirt down. âHey, howâd you realize you like it when girls are rough with you?â
Heeseung shakes his head as the memory returns to him, a shy smile on his face as he glances over at you. âA little while ago, I was picking on Chaeryeong for something. I donât even remember why, but it got to the point where my parents were telling me to stop, and I wouldnât. Then, you just started yelling at me out of nowhere, and I donât know why, but it was the hottest thing ever. I was in awe. I really thought you were gonna slap me. Since then, itâs just been a turn-on of mine.â
âWow. Thatâs actually kind of pathetic.â You tease.
He groans, âPlease donât say that. Youâre gonna make me hard again.â
Laughter is shared between you once again before you lean your head down to rest on his chest, the sound of his steady heartbeat making you feel calm. A comfortable minute of silence passes before you have to address the unfortunate inevitable, âChaeryeong should be here soon, right?â
âYeah,â Heeseung mumbles, âwithin the next ten minutes.â
You sigh, âNext time I come over, Iâll have to tell her about us.â
âââ
The next time you stop by the Lee household, Heeseung has you bent over in the backseat of his car.
His finger digs into your waist as his cock is plunging into you at full force, emptying all the thoughts from your brain. You still havenât fully adjusted to his size, but you donât care; the pain of being split open makes you come faster. It feels better.
Heeseung insisted on taking things slow, telling you that youâd need to adjust to his size, but the moment you sunk your dripping cunt onto him, he was under your spell.
Your body lunges forward with every rough stroke Heeseung gives you, hands buried in your hair as he pulls you up against his chest. His hand moves from your hair down to your neck, tilting your head back while applying the slightest bit of pressure against your throat. Your eyes close out of instinct as tears form in the corner of your eyes before trickling down your cheeks. He kisses them away one by one before settling his lips on your neck. You make a mental note to check yourself for hickeys afterward.
Youâre coming around him before you realize it, body spasming as you grip the driverâs seat headrest. Heeseung shows no signs of stopping or slowing down; in fact, heâs sped up even faster since fucking you through your orgasm. He lets go of your neck to push down on your back, left hand gripping your waist while the right intertwines your fingers with his.
A few strokes later, heâs finally coming and jokes about showing you the used condom as confirmation.
You shake your head, gesturing for him to pass you the shorts heâd tossed in the front seat. âI canât believe I let you trick me again.â
âWhat?!â He exclaims in utter shock, reaching in the front seat to grab your discarded clothing, âHow exactly did I trick you?â
âI came over to talk to Chaeryeong, but then you were all like, âHey, come look at my car; I just got it washed.ââ You playfully roll your eyes, searching around the backseat for your underwear.
âCan I keep these?â He asks suddenly, the most nonchalant expression on his face as your panties dangle from his middle finger.
You scoff, reaching to snatch them from him, confused when he retracts his hand. âI think I will keep them until you talk to Chaeryeong. Since it was you who wanted to talk to her first.â
âThen, I guess Iâll get them back tomorrow because Iâm definitely talking to her today.â
Except you donât.
You spent the entire summer sneaking around with Heeseung and procrastinating about having that talk with Chaeryeong. It was anxiety-inducing, to say the least, and you had no idea how sheâd react. You tell yourself she wonât be upset as long as you assure her your friendship wonât be affected by you dating her brother.
Youâre scheduled to move into the dorms within a few weeks, so itâs best to sort things out now before you all live under the same roof, unable to avoid one another. Heeseung doesnât seem nervous at all. In fact, heâd given you a pep-talk the day before you showed up at their home.
âShe canât stay mad forever.â He pointed out, eyes sealed shut as you do his eyeliner.
âI know,â you mumbled, adjusting yourself on his lap, âbut that girl can hold a grudge.â
âRight, but this is you weâre talking about. You mean a lot to her, to both of us, actually.â
His words play in your mind as you enter the Lee household, following Chaeryeong into the kitchen. âBaking something?â You ask, a sweet, decadent scent hitting your nose.
âBrownies for some stupid bake sale my parents are having. Help me clean up?â She asks, pouting her lips at you.
âSure.â You agree, under the assumption that there wouldnât be much to even clean up.
Boy, you were wrong. Itâs like Chaeryeong used every dish in the house to make one sheet of brownies. Thereâs no backing out now; you already agreed to help, and itâd be best to stay on her good side for now.
She gets to work rinsing each dish before handing them to you to load the dishwasher, moving quickly to get everything done faster.
âWhat a beautiful friendship.â A familiar voice comments; you fight back a smile as Chaeryeong groans at her brother.
âYou wouldnât know; you donât have any friends,â Chaeryeong responds, laughing at her words.
âNeither will you, soon,â Heeseung whispers back, groaning when you swat him in the chest. âAny brownie batter left?â
âNone for you. Shouldnât you be at work?â Chaeryeong asks, handing you another dish.
Chaeryeong takes a break from rinsing off the dishes to bicker with Heeseung for a minute. You tune out from the conversation, dipping your fingers into the leftover batter bowl and gathering the chocolate on your fingers.
âIâm leaving, Iâm leaving,â Heeseung says. When Chaeryeong finally directs her attention elsewhere, Heeseung takes the opportunity to grab your wrist, bringing your fingers up to his lips before sucking the chocolate off them.
Your eyes practically bulge out of your head, nervously glancing behind you to ensure Chaeryeong hadnât seen anything. You swat at Heeseungâs chest for the second time, and he laughs as if youâre being overly dramatic. Itâs odd how surprisingly calm he is about everything. His demeanor would have worried you if you didnât trust him so much.
Heeseung wipes the renaming bit of chocolate around his lips before mouthing âGood luck.â You give him a nervous smile, watching as he slips past Chaeryeong and leaves out the front door. You get back to work, making small talk with Chaeryeong as you help her load the dishwasher.
Itâs now or never.
âSo,â you start, âweâre gonna be living together soon.â
Chaeryeong smiles, âFinally! God, I canât wait to have some freedom. My stupid curfew is a major cock-block. Right when things are finally getting good on a date, I have to go back home. So fucking frustrating. Thereâs literally cobwebs in my vagina.â
You snort, loading the final dish into the washer. âWell, you wonât have that problem anymore.â
âI know. And maybe youâll even find someone worthy even to date you.â Chaeryeong jokes, hopping on the kitchen counter.
âUh, what if I already have found someoneâŚworthy enough?â You question, pressing a few buttons to get the dishwasher going.
âAs if.â
âChaeryeong, Iâm serious.â
She sighs, still not buying your confession. âAlright then, who is it?â
â...Your brother.â
A beat of silence passes, and then Chaeryeong doubles over in laughter, nearly slipping off the counter several times in a matter of seconds. It takes her a minute to catch her breath, clutching her collar for support as she regulates her breathing; even tears are forming in her eyes. âHoly fuck, can you imagine? You and my brother? Jesus Christ.â
âLook, there isnât an easy way to say this, but we really do like each other. Weâve beenâŚtogether this whole summer. Well, not officially; I didnât want to put a label on anything without talking to you about it first.â You finally confess. The weight on your shoulders doesnât immediately drop as you expected; itâs like the load has gotten heavier.
Chaeryeong has a blank expression as she stares at you, eyes darting around the kitchen as she processes the information. âYouâre serious?â
You nod.
She shakes her head, eyes closed as she asks,âWhat kind of friend are you? Youâre that desperate for a boyfriend you go after the only boy you know? My brother?â
Fuck.
âChaeryeong, please, let meââ
She cuts you off, hopping off the counter and inching towards you. âSo, what? All this time, you were using me to get close to Heeseung? Out of every fucking guy on the planet? Ones that have spent years throwing themself at you?â
âNo! Of course not! Chaeryeong, I never even imagined myself in a relationship with him until this summer, I swear!â Your voice trembles as Chaeryeong approaches you.
âOh, really? You expect me to believe that, huh? So itâs just a coincidence that you guys suddenly got together right before weâre all gonna be living in the same building?â
âI know it doesnât sound great, butââ
âI think you should go.â Chaeryeong cuts you off calmly, her sudden change in demeanor shocking you. A moment ago, she looked angry enough to hit you, but now, she seems a few seconds away from breaking down in tears.
You nod understandably, telling Chaeryeong to take all the time she needs and to call you when sheâs ready to talk.
She doesnât say a word as you exit her house, and you wonder if youâve just lost the best friend youâve ever had.
âââ
âIâve never seen her this angry, Heeseung. I thought she was gonna hit me or something.â You groan, ear pressed up against your phone as you rant to Heeseung.
It's been a few hours since you left Chaeryeongâs house; Heeseung had promised to call you during his break to hear how the conversation went. Youâre still shaking as the memories flood back to you, how your best friend in the world accused you of using her. What a fucking joke.
âSheâll get over it, trust me. Yâknow, before I called you, she spent five minutes yelling at me over the phone. Five fucking minutes, and I just took it. Sheâll be fine.â He says, following up with a loud slurping noise that suggests Heeseung has chosen to have ramen for lunch.
Itâs astonishing how calm heâs managed to stay this entire time.
You flip over on the couch, head resting on the armrest as you stare at the ceiling. âI just donât wanna lose her. Sheâs a fireball, for sure, but sheâs my fireball. I donât know what Iâd do without her.â
âI just told you youâre not gonna be without her, okay?â
â...Okay.â
Thereâs a knock at your front door, most likely from the pizza delivery Heeseung had sent to your house.
âI gotta go. The food is here. Are you still stopping by after your shift?â
âOf course. You gonna be alright?â
âYeah,â you stand, making your way to the front door. âIâll save you some pizza.â
He chuckles at that, âYou better. Iâll see you later, okay? I love you.â
He what?
âYou what?â You pause, hand on the doorknob.
âI love you, and Iâll see you later.â He hangs up.
You donât have time to process his words; the knocking at your front door happens again.
Twisting the knob, youâre met with Chaeryeong staring back at you. âChaeryeong? Whatâre youââ
âI donât care if you date Heeseung.â She claims, storming through your front door, âIf you guys want to be together, then Iâm not standing in the way. But I will not be your friend if you date him, so itâs either him or me.â
You follow Chaeryeong into your living room, your pulse quickening upon hearing her ultimatum. âChaeryeong, thatâs notââ
âBefore you chooseâŚas a girl, and as your friend, I have to be completely honest with you.â She sighs, fingers nervously raking through her hair as she sits on your couch. âI called Heeseung after you left, and he talked to me about you guys.â
You nod, taking a seat next to her. âOkay, andâŚ?â
She sighs again, taking your hand in her own. âEverything heâs ever told you was a lie.â
#enhypen#enhypen imagine#enhypen smut#enhypen scenario#lee heeseung#lee heeseung imagine#heeseung smut#lee heeseung smut#kpop#kpop imagine#kpop smut#kpop scencario#jake sim#jake sim imagine
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lilith through the houses
hii, it has been a while since i have made a post on here; hope everyone is doing well. i wanted to dive into a post about lilith, i see a lot of people who are curious about lilith and how it manifests in their charts. lilith represents many things; rebellion, dark feminine, jealousy, envy, and sense of freedom/power.
lilith in 1st - blessing & a curse. you have a sultry-esque to you, can appear a bit intimidating and off-putting from some sort of intensity; unintentionally. you have habits to always appeal to other people, you have a need to feel approved by others and rejection has always been a hard concept for you. you might have been bullied from women who were jealous of you when you were younger, or often left out on purpose because you seemed "untrusting," people often would read you wrong because they were too afraid to approach you. luckily for you though, you can pick up on these things right away. you have gifts for discernment and are good at blending into your environments nowadays. you are much harder to crack while you age, and that is because you have worked on your confidence & beauty through time- nobody can get under your skin as much as you do.
lilith in 2nd - loves to feel different. you love doing things that go against the standards. while everyone else was stressing over financial issues, housing, and overall structure, you had other plans. you preferred to feel free-spirited with your spending, and always found a way to attract money whether you worked for it or not. others despised you, thought you had it easy, or thought you let yourself go. you have a tendency to let others go, not in a bad way, but in a way that if there's anything stopping you from obtaining something, you will cut ties. you hold onto things that can be used to prove others wrong, probably still clings to photos, messages, etc. hates giving up easily. points out hypocricy on others a lot. you typically hate any form of control over you, not a fan of commands or orders, dislikes an overly organized environment. you like feeling accompanied in your habits. you always play your cards well.
lilith in 3rd - says it how it is always. you notice people usually love you or hate you there's no in between. sometimes attracts people who are two-faced, or always downplaying their achievements. you will really see the ugly side from people because of the way you can easily trigger them. felt held back from a young age to express certain thoughts, always likes to interject, say the things that others do not want to. has a serious tone, usually sounding mature and easily believable. you love pushing the boundaries with society and taking the lead. you are one of one, and you might notice some people have humored you a lot because they don't take you serious enough. people usually never let your past go, or they want to have a say in your reputation. to you though, any attention is good attention.
lilith in 4th - family matters. usually mother or prominent female figure forcing you to follow a path you don't want to. lots of household turmoil's, probably the ones to break a generational trauma, feeling suffocated by family and close ones. you have a hard time with making long-lasting friends and relationships out of fear of being abused emotionally somehow. easy for you to feel drained by others, feels and moves better alone. might have family members who are jealous of you or leave you behind because they cannot stand to see you succeed. maybe you felt that you hadn't been caught up as much as other kids growing up, late learner & way too self-dependent. you are strong in the sense that you take care of yourself better than others have. your pain has taught you how to provide a safe space for other people.
lilith in 5th - felt like you had a lot of energy vampires around you, anytime you wanted to feel fun-spirited you always had some people trying to void that. you are actually very easygoing, attract attention very easily, and people really admire your fierceness. however you fall short depending on the people you surround yourself with. you need uplifting beings around you, those who match your energy very well. you can always decipher who fits for you and who doesn't. you have a tendency to push away your intuition and gut feelings, you like giving chances and the ability for people to restart with you, however you realize it is a waste of time. lot of people will cling to you to try and analyze you, study you. relationships or friendships have used you to try to get the upperhand. people steal your ideas. tired of feeling bad for being yourself. you hope to remain light hearted and unravel new interests that give you a chance to understand yourself a bit more.
lilith in 6th - usually gets bullied because they are healthier than others. i know that sounds kiddish, but im serious. you know how to work twice as hard to get to where you want to be, whether that is career wise or health wise. you experience a lot of significant changes with your appearance, and you will have people trying to tear you down and invalidate your efforts. can deal with people speaking badly about your body, wishing to have your body, or lusting over your body. can have jealous co workers, outside peers, or in general you will notice that as soon as you want to change, many people do not like this. people have this preset notion of you and hate to acknowledge that you are in a better position than you used to be. you like doing things on your own schedule, you are known to being very picky, but as long as it is convenient for you, you do not mind. you're not a heavy complainer, instead you observe a lot and make do with whatever you got.
lilith in 7th - dealt with narcissists a lot of your life, has a fainted image of love and relationships. you guys love to reject other people lol, rightfully so though, most of the time you guys will have people trying to spin back to you. you are unforgettable to the ones you have had close bonds with, specifically with the other gender. can lead to men/women hating you so they can try to get over you. you love being able to try new things in relationships, switching it up is super important to you, and you love a 50/50, good give and take. if someone is too simple with you or doesn't seem as risk take-y as you, you kind of repel that. you crave to be unconditionally loved by someone that loves you in the right conditions. loves speaking out on things you find abnormal. you don't have many standards, which is why you have a lot of experience with the dating realm; however you only feel safe to settle once you see the imperfections in your partner. you hate anything superficial. you feel you can only trust those who are as damaged as you are.
lilith in 8th - feelings of powerlessness, inability to change, or endless karmaic cycles. you have been through harsh times with your inner self, and it has depleted a lot of your confidence. you are naturally more "darker or deeper" than others, you like reading between the lines and that is your superpower. you pick up on the things that most people slip. you have a strong aura of sensual energy whenever you do come together with a partner. seductive and manipulative at times, if you feel that you do not get what you want, you have a way to really make shit break out. lot of internal chaos with trying to figure yourself out. you have a strong admiration for the occult, and it is very known off of you. people often feel jealous that you know more than them, or that you are with-holding information, or that your energy is the most magnetic thing about you. you want to be able to explore everything that nobody wants to. it brings you peace to look from within more than on the out.
lilith in 9th - felt that higher purpose was always a challenge to try to figure out, religiously could have dealt with a traumatizing incident, or felt disconnected. turned against morals at one point and never looked back really. hates feeling narrow-minded, opened to new possibilities, hates certainty because things are so variable. people jealous that you can etach easily, and that you can expand onto bigger and better things. could been troubled in school for minor or major things, free will is a thing you love to test a lot. could have a lot of enemies from different backgrounds and countries, feel easily attacked for thinking differently than others. you notice how your mentality is far more different than others; you tend to be more receptive and optimistic, while other people could be more sensitive and reserved to their own thoughts. you dislike people with the inability to be free thinking as you are. you have a hard time connecting with others because of this, you feel only you can truly understand yourself. you can get frustrated easily and silenced due to it.
lilith in 10th - could feel scrutinized by authority figures in their lives, you might have a father who is controlling or somebody who is a male figure that will try to steer you from your goals. you have tried to make a lot of jobs work, however none feel too important to you. sometimes you feel that work industry can even be useless, simply because it doesn't bring you the satisfaction you want. you can even feel afraid to tap into your power in front of others, maybe seen as too shy or timid to go after what you really want. you sought more attention to what others would think rather than what you think of yourself. attracts jealousy through their jobs and careers anyway, some people find you "too this, too that" to the things you want to accomplish. you put up many facades and fake smiles to people because you feel that a lot of what you do is on display or talked about anyway. people honestly really love to throw some confusion your way, or doubt. you might really like a career that is extremely perplexing or doesn't require much at all.
lilith in 11th - felt weird from everyone else. you learned a lot of harsh lessons when you were younger, matured fast and enjoyed life much later. socially, well liked and easily applauded by others, which means that you also do have folks who have been envious of your abilities to drive the masses. you are unique and set trends. people follow you around or follow you online just to keep up with your aesthetic, it is like you are a hidden gem that prefers to be hidden. you've probably dealt with people trying to get close to you to steal from you or get with your other friends or even partners. you are naturally independent and sometimes too isolating. the feeling of needing nobody can stem from the fact that not many people surrounded themselves with you when you were younger. you socially blend in very well and use it to your advantage, as a lot of people will behave like "kiss-asses" to you. might have also dealt with fallouts with friends that have blamed you regardless of if you were guilty or not. they switch-up just as easy as they befriend you. it is undoubtedly hard to connect with some others.
lilith in 12th - spiritually been at war with yourself for a while, felt like there wasn't a place for you to confide without being shunned. hard time making sense of feelings that actually are justified to feel. others expected you to be strong and to bottle up a lot of your feelings, there was a lack of fulfillment also in teenage years due to the isolation you have went through. felt like you weren't good enough to go through with your ideas, fantasies, and goals. some part of you feels resentment towards yourself, as you learned that you were so hard on yourself when all you needed was to just experience life for what it was. always searching for something deeper. prone to nightmares or visions that have made you cautious, traumatizing experiences that nobody knows about or that has happened that was hidden from you or forgotten. sometimes you feel you don't even know what you are fighting for. you have a unique ability to contact your spiritual guides, manifesting comes easy for you once you work on this burden. you can bring out such strong changes in yourself and are capable of ending your "hellish" loops. people can feel envious of you for your trauma, and i know that sounds off, but you have been through a lot and others will try to act like they understand or can relate when they in fact do not. beware of people who pretend to be in the same boat as you. some will secretly just not like you, plain and simple.
thank you for reading this all through, if i was accurate or off, let me know i would love to see some of your input. there's so much more i can say about each and if you want me to elaborate i will! i know i have put more for some of these and less for others, regardless, i am open to your inputs, thank u <3
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âWhen Strikes the Gladiator!â Daredevil (Vol. 1/1964), #113.
Writer: Steve Gerber; Penciler: William Robert Brown; Inker: Vince Colletta; Colorist: Linda Lessmann; Letterer: Artie Simek
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Daredevil vol. 1#Daredevil 1964#Daredevil#Matt Murdock#Man-Thing#Ted Sallis#Candace! Iâve only ever vaguely heard about her so I was excited to finally stumble into a comic with her#in other news boy they did Ted dirty in that flashback panel hahaha#alsoâŚ.itâs been such a long while since Fear no. 16#that I had to go back to read it to double check that lore about Sallisâ serum specifically being about being able to breathe pollution#but yeah sure enough itâs there#Iâm just a bad comics fan hahaha#Mr. Gerber wrote both issues though so it makes sense that he could keep the lore straight
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