#Though I would much prefer we use random starters like last time

[mandareeboo]

Any theories for the Starter selection for the Legends Kalos game? Assuming they do the same thing as Legends Arceus where none of the starters originate from the Gen/game that the Legends game is based on, that basically means none of the Kalos or Kanto starters and presumably they won't reuse the ones from Arceus. So who would you want to see as options?

I'm thinking they'll use the originals 151 starters! It'd be a fun parallel with how you can get one early in the game, and maybe flip it around to get the Kalos starters later.

[nikkiruncks]

zenmasters for the otp asks

Omg Anna! It’s been too long! Hope ur doing well!

1. Who fell for the other one first? Hyde for sure. I used to say Jackie because of season 3 but that mostly seemed like obsession looking back.

2. Was it love at first sight? Not at all lol

3. Was it lust at first sight? I can see that tbh. Even though Hyde and Jackie didn’t like each other, I highly doubt that neither found the other attractive.

4. What do physical trait do they love the most about each other? They both love each other’s eyes and smiles. Also their bodies lol.

5. What personality trait do they love the most about each other? Hyde loves that Jackie has a big heart and how genuinely tough she can be. Jackie loves Hyde’s honesty and heart.

6. What random everyday object/activity makes them think of each other? At the makeup salon, there’s a Led Zeppelin painting, making Jackie think about him. And with Hyde, some of Jackie’s favorite music will be sold in the store.

7. What is something they'd want to change about the other if they could? Hyde would probably change her bossiness and Jackie would change his closed off ness. But aside from that, nothing.

8. Do they get along with each other's friends and family? Despite Jackie’s…intenseness, W.B. really like her and thinks she’s a smart girl. Angie also thinks she can be kinda a lot, but does like her. And I think we both know how Red and Kitty feel about the two of them. They’re like parents to the two. Same with Eric and Donna (who are also like family to them)

9. Do their friends and family like their significant others? Obviously yes

10. Have they had romantic partners before? Also yes. (Tho Jackie is Hyde’s first (and probably only serious relationship))

11. Are they a healthy couple? If no, why not? For the most part yes. Minus last season 5 and most of season 7. They both love and support each other and inspire each other to be better people.

12. Do they have potential to be healthy if they're usually toxic? Yes. If in late season 7, they just talked about their issues instead of the writers reducing them to some forbidden lusty connection when they were so much more than that. I wrote a fic called Love that addressed their issues.

13. Do they have potential to be toxic if they're usually healthy? Yes. Season 7 for starters and the whole thing with the nurse and Hyde acting like the wounded party.

14. What song fits them perfectly? Paper Rings, All Too Well, Love Story, Cruel Summer

15. Do they like the same music? Not at all. But they do try to be open to each other’s tastes.

16. Do they like the same food? Some, yes.

17. What do they have in common? They both are so much more than what scratches the surface, they have awful parents, they both are brutally honest, etc.

18. What is their sex life like? They have a very healthy and active sex life. But they just talk and hangout more.

19. Would they ever lie to each other? Why or why not? In canon, they have lied to each other several times but after fixing their issues, I don’t really think so. Plus Jackie would always find out and vise versa.

20. Are they interested in marriage? Why or why not? In my eyes, they’re already married and pregnant with twins lol.

21. Are they interested in having children? Why or why not? Same as 21. But on a serious note, yes. They are both scared shitless tho because of their own home lives.

22. Do you have other ships that resemble your OTP? Dair, Bamon, Gwikki

23. Is there top/dom and bottom/sub energy? Jackie is a top.

24. Are there any kinks or fetishes they share or don't? Not really. They do try using toys one but Jackie hated it and Hyde was uncomfortable (mostly because his chick was). Jackie does dress in a cheerleading uniform and Hyde in a Led Zeppelin shirt (similar to Peraltiago on their honeymoon)

25. Are they sentimental about gifts they've received from each other? They both prefer gifts from the heart.

26. What holidays do they like? Halloween

27. How do they feel about Valentine's day? Jackie loves it because of dressing up but Hyde just doesn’t care for it. Similar to Gloria, Jackie kept trying to get Jay to dress up but for a while it didn’t work. One day, he sees his son and daughter dressed up as Mickey and Minnie and gets won over. Jackie would cheer and Hyde would try to get her to stop.

28. Are they jealous/possessive of each other? Same as canon. But for the most part, they’re both very confident in their relationship.

29. Do they like public display of affection? For sure.

30. Do they enjoy dancing? Hyde hates it but loves Jackie so he dances with her anyways.

31. What's a perfect date for them? Them going to a nice restaurant.

32. How do they comfort each other? Hugs. They’d both mostly comfort each other in actions rather than words.

33. Who is the big spoon and why? Hyde is big spoon obviously because look at them…

34. What's their favorite nonsexual activity together? Just talking to one another and also watching tv.

35. How do they deal with being away from each other for a long time? They usually call and FaceTime each other. Hyde would sometimes sleep with the pink pillow Jackie put in his room and Jackie would sleep in Hyde’s Zeppelin shirt (now I’m emotional and want to write a drabble on this)

36. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? Hyde loves to kiss her nose and Jackie loves his lips.

(Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)

37. Have they ever hurt each other on accident? Yes.

38. Have they ever hurt each other deliberately? Also yes.

39. Who gets hit on the most? Hyde but Jackie has gotten hit on a few times too.

40. Who tries to distract the other when they're trying to do something else? Jackie

41. Who is, overall, the smarter one? Both are equally smart

42. Who is the sensible mature one? Hyde

43. Do they fight a lot? Not really. They bicker but not fight.

44. How do they make up after a fight? Talking it out, a hug, then makeup sex.

45. If one of them forgot to log out of their SoMe, what would their partner do? Neither really logs out tbh.

46. How do they make each other laugh? Hyde would try to say something lighthearted to make her laugh. Jackie would try to sing to Led Zeppelin.

47. Are they extroverts/introverts? Hyde, I feel is an introvert in some ways. Jackie is an extrovert for sure.

48. Who would bring home a homeless animal? Neither. If anything, their kid would bring a homeless animal and try to convince them to keep it.

49. Do they match outfits for special occasions? For formal event, yes. Sometimes, Jackie would wear a sparkly black dress and Hyde, a black suit and tie.

50. Who would protect who in a dangerous situation? Both. Hyde would do anything for his chick but Jackie would kill for Hyde.

[turnpage]

send me a ✐ for a random sentence starter from my muse (1-1500) — tw: profanity, mild nsfw, long list

generator here quotes compiled from here inspired by

feel free to change to fit your preferences as need.

❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜
 ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness.  ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives?  ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ❨211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ ❛ I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly.  ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope —  It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together.  ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase.  ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord.  ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you.  ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory.  ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ��657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise.  ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table?  ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death?  ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ❨1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable.  ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ❨1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274❩ ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ❨1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away.  ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

an nsfw alphabet from Jason todd of titans please

pairing: jason todd x fem!reader

warnings: smut → nsfw alphabet

headcanon 🖤

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

requests for the sleepover are open🖤!

request guidelines here✨!

smut night masterlist

🌻masterlist🌻

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Jason would be super cute!!

He’d run a bath, ask if you’re okay, cuddle

If you were feeling sore, he’d get a cold cloth for you

And would pepper you in kisses bc he knows how lucky he is to have you

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Tits and ass — I think that’s a given with Jason ahah

His favourite body part of his would probably be arms i suppose

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

ahh he'd love to make you cum!

honestly i think it's like a hobby for him - to make you feel good, not because he feels he has to, but because he knows he can

i'd imagine he'd love cumming on your tits

and my lord, don't get me started if you ever squirted (not that he'd expect you to, but if you ever did homeboy would just be like :o)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

i feel like jason would have a big thing for pda - to be able to show you off (not like a trophey kind of thing / controlling way) would be of considerable value to him

it would be more to show everyone that you're together - that he can show everyone, including you of course ahah, how good of a boyfriend he can be for you

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You know what, probably not a lot

Maybe he’s experienced sex with a previous girlfriend, but that’ll be about it

I think with you, he’d be a little bit more open to experimenting things??

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy ahaha

I bet he could fuck harder, faster, and generally better when you’re on all fours in front of him

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Ahh Jason would love a good laugh

Like I don’t think sex with him is all serious anyway

i kind of feel like he wouldn't believe that you had to be serious in order to be intimate ya know

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Um probably ahah I mean have you seen how he does his hair?

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

as mentioned before, i think he'd just take the moment as it is

whether the two of you are having super cute, intimate sex or whether you guys are simply fucking

that being said though, jason would be super into special occasions, be it either one of your birthdays, any anniversaries, or even after a cute date

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

lmao it's pretty much cannon that jason jacks off so i'd say he'd do it a fair bit

however, since the two of you got together (or if you're fwb), he doesn't really feel the need bc he's got you

but on some occasions when you're not available or not even at the tower bc you're working with donna or something and he really needs you, that's when i reckon he'd do it

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I’ve actually talked about this before 🥰

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His room for starters

But would love sneaky sex in the tower bathroom, especially in the shower

Bet they’d be one time when everyone was out, leaving you and Jason alone in the tower and you’d fuck on every piece of furniture there is ahah

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

when you tease him!!

praising

when you and him are training and it gets competitive

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Probably anything that’ll make you uncomfortable tbh

Plus maybe unusual kinks like golden showers or anything like that

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving! Giving! giving!

He is such a giver

And honestly he would go down on you for hours if he could

He loves having your thighs shake around his head while he’s eating you out or how your body would shake when you cum around his cock while he fucks you

but i mean that being said, he'd also love when you go down on him too aha

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Okay so here’s the thing: I think it depends

As much as Jason loves hard and fast, I feel like he’d also love slow and sensual

Especially when the two of you are first becoming intimate with each other

Bc I feel like we can’t deny the fact that he’ll be nervous as hell sometimes

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Literally before training

Or after training when the others are in the shower or eating in the kitchen

Before bed

When you wake up

Literally anytime you and him are alone, you’re either fucking or doing actual cute stuff like watching a movie or something

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

lmao yeah just like i said before, he'd love risking it in the kitchen / bathroom - especially when the others are home

jason would be pretty open to experimenting too tbh - sex is quite the exploration task, isn't it?

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

That boy has stamina, are you kidding me?! Like have you seen him train?

Homeboy could go for hours

But I feel like it would switch between you two of you being on top ya know

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I feel like he’d be open to toys like vibrators and handcuffs - i mean that boy seems super kinky, right?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

orgasm. Denial.

He loves watching you plead, squirm, whine — literally do anything to cum

He’d love taking his hand away, or taking his cock out at random moments, watching you with such cockiness and arrogance as you beg him to make you cum

I feel like he’d love sensual play too — teasing you while your tied up and/or blindfolded would be such a kicker for him

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Soft — anything ranging from grunts, to small moans that slip through his bitten lip

honestly, he'd rather hear you than hear himself moan lmao

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

jason would have a thing for hearing you beg

i can imagine it's such an ego booster for him - i mean he's arrogant and cocky enough, and having you beg and whine for him just boosts it

ooh also when he's fucked you so good, you're lying on the bed completely fucked out and exhausted

and bonus points if you can't walk all that well the next day lmao

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

lol i think he'd have a pretty nice cock ya know

not too big, not too small

he'd know how to use it though

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Ahaha I think we all know he’s one horny bitch

So literally anytime you feel up to it, he’s ready

Or even just any chance you get to fuck, he’s already prepared ahah

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

i dont think he'd fall asleep straight away

like he'd maybe wait for you to fall asleep while he plays with your hair

on some occasions though he might be super quick to fall asleep, especially after a rough and/or hard day of training and he's just super exhausted

[kingexpl0sionmurder]

You’re All I Want - Shinsou Hitoshi

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder​ Rating: 18+ (Smut) Words: 5,073 Pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi/F!Reader (Aged up/Pro Hero) Warnings: Oral (Male receiving), Oral (Female receiving), vaginal sex, pet names. AN: Here is my entry for this month’s BNHarem NSFW collab! Special thanks to @unbreakablekiribaku​ for supporting me as usual and listening to me ramble on about my favorite purple boy. Title taken from a song by Cigarettes After Sex because I am soft today. We all had the same starter for this collab, so it’s important to read that first so you understand the set up! (It’s kind of like a choose your own adventure!)

Collab Masterlist (IMPORTANT: READ THIS FIRST)

My Masterlist Buy Me a KoFi?

----

Taking a deep breath, you stepped forward, shucking off the mask onto the ground beside you. It wasn’t like they’d be able to see your face back here, or you hoped not, and the thing was itchy.

There hadn’t been much instruction on what to do, so you decided to make yourself comfortable on the pillows and wait in the near darkness, feeling a little annoyed that they’d taken your phone, even though you understood why. 

You gazed through the hole, trying to see if you could make out anything on the other side. You could hear music, the slightly muffled guitar from some classic rock playing for the party guests made you giggle a bit. Blowing some random hero while listening to 80’s hair metal through a hole in the wall was not how you had been picturing spending your Saturday night, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Before you could dwell on that anymore, you heard a sharp knocking on the wall, the light coming from the hole in the wall suddenly cut off when someone stepped in front of it. You had a feeling this was your cue. 

You shuffled over on your knees, grabbed a bottle of water, unscrewed the cap, took a sip, and tried to ignore how much your hands were shaking. You knew what you were doing. This wasn’t your first time sucking a cock. The situation was different, of course, but if you closed your eyes, you could just pretend it was someone else, right? 

Letting your mind wander, you wet your lips when the man on the other side of the wall shoved his dick through the hole, starting with kitten licks and light sucks on the tip. You closed your eyes and thought about the object of most of your fantasies, pretending it was him sitting heavy on your tongue, bracing your hand on the wall in front of you as you used the other to grab the base of the man’s cock and pump him slowly.

Being a barista wasn’t the most exciting job, but your regular customers somehow made things seem less dull. One man in particular always had you vibrating with excitement the moment he walked through the door. He usually strolled in during the mid-morning, his purple hair defying gravity, his face holding the look of someone who didn’t get enough sleep. He did always manage a small smirk in your direction when you greeted him, already working on his preferred drink order before he could even open his mouth. Black coffee with a double shot of espresso and a blueberry muffin. He never strayed or asked for anything different. 

He would pay for his order and then lean his hip against the counter on the far end, arms crossed over his chest as he kept his eyes trained on you. It made you feel hot all over, your mouth dry and your thighs clenching as he watched you work, his apparent interest in you making you feel exposed and raw. You had half a mind to grab him by his shirt and drag him over the counter so you could press your lips to his, the sexual tension that his gaze created nearly driving you mad.

But as always, you would walk over and slide him his drink and pastry bag, biting your lip and looking up at him from under your eyelashes, wishing him a good day. He would always give you another once over, and sometimes his fingers would brush yours as he took his breakfast, his deep voice rumbling in thanks. He would smirk at you again before turning and walking out of the shop, leaving you to melt into a puddle of sexually frustrated goo behind the counter.

You’d entertained the idea of writing your number on his cup, wondering if he would text you, imagining what he would say if you asked him out sometime. It was a shame you were too nervous about doing anything other than flirting over the counter, too scared even to attempt to hold a conversation with him. You’d have to resort to using your overactive imagination to your advantage for the task at hand.

With the music still blaring in the other room, you could just barely hear the man on the other side of the wall moaning as his cock twitched in your mouth, your tongue gliding over the vein on the underside while you hollowed your cheeks around him. Humming, you took him as deep as you could, feeling triumphant when you felt him shudder, thick ropes of cum shooting into your mouth. 

You pulled off and spit into the nearby trash can, going back to lick the man clean, and then chugging on your water bottle. As quickly as he had appeared, he was gone, and the hole was empty once again. Sitting back, you sighed. That hadn’t been as bad as you thought it would be, though you figured it was probably because your mind was elsewhere. You just needed to keep this up for the rest of the night, and then you’d collect your giant wad of cash and be on your way.

--

Hours passed, men came (literally) and went, and your jaw was starting to feel sore. You had no idea how much longer you had, but you’d been putting forth your best skills while thinking about the purple-haired coffee man to pass the time. 

There was a knock on the wall, so you sat up from where you were slumped against it, grabbed another water bottle, wet your mouth, and got ready to go back to work. Since your eyes had adapted to the darkness of the room, you’d been trying to get a good look at the different dicks that had been shoved through the hole as the night progressed. You’d yet to be disappointed, and men at this party were giving you unrealistic expectations for real life. The one that was in front of you now, however, was probably the nicest and one of the biggest you’d seen so far.

Suddenly feeling eager to prove to yourself that you could handle the size of it, you shuffled forward on your knees and wrapped your hand around it, stroking slowly and letting your tongue poke out to lick at the bead of precum that had already gathered at the tip. The music fading from one song and into the next in the other room allowed you to hear the groan of pleasure coming from the man, your ears perking up, and legs clenching together. 

His voice was deep, just like the man in every one of your fantasies. You’d made yourself cum just thinking about that voice whispering in your ear, low and thick like honey, praising you for taking his cock so well, growling and moaning about how good your pussy felt around him. You let your eyes close, humming and focusing all your efforts into giving this man the best blow job of his life, picturing purple hair and a sharp jawline, smirking lips caught between straight teeth, bulging biceps and long fingers. You wished you could feel his fingers in your hair as you took him as deep as you could, relaxing your throat and rolling your tongue around his length, practically choking around him as tears gathered in your eyes.

You swore you heard that voice again, a drawn-out curse coming from the other side of the wall as his cock twitched in your mouth and he came, and for the first time all night, you swallowed all he had to give you, too caught up in the moment to worry about spitting it in the trash. 

Before you knew what was happening, he was gone, not even letting you clean him up. You fell back, gasping for air and trying to figure out what happened. Your cunt was throbbing, and your chest was heaving as you reached blindly for the water bottle beside you. Did you do something wrong? He seemed to have been enjoying himself, but it was hard to tell with the wall between you.

You didn’t have much time to dwell on it, though, because there was a knock from the door you’d entered the room from, and suddenly the girl who had led you back here was standing there, smiling at you. “Are you doing okay?”

Nodding, you stood up. “Yeah, am I done?”

She crossed her arms, leaning against the door frame. “That depends. Do you want to make a little extra?”

Eyebrows furrowed, you frowned. “What? How?”

“Someone is requesting you for some special one on one time if you’re interested. It would involve more than just a blow job, so if you’re okay with that, I can take you to the bathroom and then to the room he’s rented for you.”

Your eyes widened, mouth suddenly dry. “Someone requested me?”

Chuckling, she shot you a grin. “You impressed him. He was insistent about it being you, so you must have given him the best head of his life or something.” 

Biting your lip, you deliberated. You had promised yourself not to get too involved with this world. It was supposed to be quick and easy money. 

“If it helps, it was the last guy you were just with, like not even 10 minutes ago.” 

The man with the deep voice and giant cock. Well, fuck.

“I...yeah. Okay.”

“Great!” She clapped her hands. “Grab your mask and follow me. I’ll take you to the bathroom so you can brush your teeth, then I’ll bring you to the private room.”

You nodded, picking up the mask and putting it back on your face, concealing your identity again. You followed her from the room and to a bathroom, a sealed toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste on the sink. You used the bathroom quickly, brushing your teeth and checking your eyeliner, before slipping the mask back down over your eyes and stepping back into the hallway. 

She led you into an elevator and then down a hallway, stopping in front of a closed door before turning to you. “You’re not obligated to do anything you don’t want to do. There are condoms, and there is lube in the top drawer of the table next to the bed. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable for any reason, there will be a guard outside the door to keep watch, and you can get their attention if you need help, just in case.���

Suddenly nervous, you nodded again.

“I know this guy, though, and he’s a good man. You don’t have anything to worry about. When you’re done, the guard will bring you back downstairs so you can collect your pay and your things, okay?” She offered you a calming smile. “Have fun!”

You didn’t say anything, offering her a weak smile in return before turning your attention to the door. Your palms were sweaty as you reached out to grasp the handle, pushing it open. Taking a deep breath, you walked inside and closed it behind you.

When your eyes met with the amethyst ones on the other side of the room, your heart stopped.

“Uh, hi.” He stepped forward, his hands in his pockets. You took in the way he bit down on his bottom lip, eyes traveling down over the black button-up shirt he was wearing, the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, the glint of the watch on his wrist in the table lamp light spilling across the hotel room.

It was him, the object of your every desire, and he was standing there looking at you nervously, his hair sticking up attractively as usual.

“Black coffee, double shot espresso, blueberry muffin.” You said dumbly, your mouth moving before your brain could process what you were saying.

“I...what? How do you know my breakfast order?” His eyebrows furrowed, confused. 

Pulling off your mask, you shook out your hair and stared at him, not sure what else to say. You felt completely out of your depth, and it was taking everything in you not to throw yourself forward and kiss him.

“Holy shit.” Letting out a breath, he started moving toward you again. “It’s you.”

When he stopped moving, he was so close that you had to tilt your head back to look up at him. You couldn’t believe your luck. Remembering what the girl had told you, you shivered. When you’d heard that low voice through the wall, you’d thought of him, but to know that it actually was him was a whole different thing. “I didn’t know you were a hero.”

Your eyes slid closed when you felt him touch the side of your face and push back a piece of your hair, his fingers leaving a warm trail in their wake. “Yeah, underground, but yeah.” Clearing his throat, he continued. “I didn’t know you did-”

“I don’t!” Your eyes flew open in alarm. “I mean, not usually. Just needed some extra money to get caught up on student loans…” You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment, your gaze falling to the floor. “This is my first time doing something like this.”

“Me too.” His fingers on your chin lifted your face to look back up at him. “I didn’t want it to be like this...I wanted to ask you out properly.”

Gazing up at him in disbelief, you stuttered. “I...you did?”

It was his turn to blush. “Yeah, I was just trying to figure out what to say.” His hand dropped to curl around your hip. “But now we’re here…”

Feeling bold, knowing he wanted you just as much as you wanted him, you let your hands rest on his chest, the feeling of solid muscle beneath it, causing you to shiver. “Yeah, we are. So what do we do now?”

“I can think of a few things.” The smirk that made your knees weak was back on his face. “Like this, maybe.”

Your breath caught when he leaned forward, your eyes closing when his lips met yours. It was a hesitant press at first, sweet and soft, making your heartbeat quicken with anticipation. Breathing deeply through your nose, you let your fingers tangle in his lavender locks, pushing yourself closer and kissing him harder. You’d wanted this for so long, and you weren’t going to let this moment go to waste.

He hummed lowly, both hands on your waist holding you close to him, his tongue slipping out to trace along your lips. You parted them, allowing him entrance and shivering when he licked into your mouth. Sighing, you arched into him, feeling his palms slide down to grab your ass.

Pulling back, the both of you panted, your eyes sliding open to gaze up at him. Swallowing thickly, you licked your lips. “This is all happening so fast.” You said slowly. “I don’t even know your name.” 

Smirking, he bent slightly, his hands slipping behind your thighs and lifting you quickly. “It’s Shinsou.” He turned and walked towards the bed, dropping you unceremoniously onto the mattress. “And yours is Y/N, right? I remember it from your nametag.”

You nodded, half distracted watching him pull your skirt down your legs, his fingers toying with the waistband of your panties. Sitting up, you began unbuttoning his shirt, sighing when you felt his lips on your neck.

“I know this is sudden, but you don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.” He mumbled against your skin. “And knowing that you were the one who sucked my cock through that wall makes me regret not doing something sooner.”

“I was pretending it was you.” Finishing with the buttons, you untucked the shirt from his pants and worked on pulling it down his arms. “I heard you moan, and I thought it sounded like you, and I just let my mind wander a little…”

Chuckling, he pulled back, shrugging his shirt off and lifting his undershirt over his head. Your hands went to his chest immediately, tracing lines over the hard muscles and up over his shoulders.

“Do you think about me often?”

Blushing, you sat back, pulling your top over your head. “More often than I’d like to admit.”

He reached behind you, his fingers fumbling with the clasp of your bra. “It sounds like we’ve been wasting too much time. We could have been doing this a long time ago.” He tossed the offending garment somewhere behind him, looming over you when you laid back. “Guess I should make up for it now, huh?”

Before you could answer, he was kissing you again, one hand wandering down your side, his other arm bent and keeping him from crushing you under his weight. His mouth moved to kiss along your jaw and down your neck, your chest heaving as he nibbled on your clavicle, his warm tongue laving at your skin. 

Your breath hitched as he moved lower, trailing kisses over your breast, his mouth latching around your nipple and sucking at it, teeth scraping over the hardening bud. “Shinsou…” You trailed off, breathless and panting, your eyes fluttering shut as your hands found his hair, digits curling into his purple locks and nails scratching at his scalp.

He must have enjoyed the feeling, a low moan rumbling from his chest as he switched to your other breast, giving it the same attention. His fingers dug into your hip, keeping you still as you attempted to wiggle in his hold, needing some kind of friction for the throbbing between your thighs. 

“Impatient, are we?” He asked lowly, kissing down your stomach and sliding down the bed some more. “Don’t worry, kitten. I’m going to take care of you.”

You whimpered at the nickname, closing your eyes when you felt his fingers slide under the elastic around your waist, tugging your panties down your legs. Warm breath ghosted over your inner thighs when he spread your legs to rest between them, his thumbs drawing comforting circles across your flesh.

“You gave me the best blow job of my life. It only seems fair for me to return the favor.” His thumbs moved to spread you open, his tongue sliding along your slit without warning.

Your hips left the bed, your head rolling as your back arched, your body unprepared. “Shinsou! Fuck!” His hands held you down as he descended on you, tongue laving greedily at your cunt, slurping up your juices and sucking on your clit with abandon.

“God, you were so wet already, how turned on were you? You must have been thinking about me pretty hard down there in that little room.” A kiss was pressed to your thigh as he caught his breath. “Why don’t you tell me what you were imagining, hmm?”

Opening your mouth to reply, all you could manage was a low moan when he dove back in, his tongue circling your entrance before traveling back up to your clit again. 

“Answer me, kitten.”

Sucking in a breath, the vibrations from his voice shooting straight through you, making it hard to think, you tried to answer again. “Thought about you bending me over the counter in the coffee shop…”

He hummed, and your eyes rolled back, body tensing when he let one of his hands move down lower, one finger sliding inside you. “I’ve thought about that too.”

“Shinsou, please. I want you to fuck me.” You felt pathetic, practically begging him, months of pent up longing for the man between your thighs finally spilling forth as he sucked on your clit and stretched you with a second finger. “I want you to fill me up.”

Groaning, you felt his teeth graze against you, his fingers curling, the squelching sound filling the room a testament to how wet you were as he pressed against your g spot, adding another digit. “Fuck, you want it that badly?”

You shivered, your legs aching, and your toes curling. You couldn’t even form a sentence if you wanted to, the coil in your belly tightening with every caress of his tongue along your pussy. The feeling of his long, calloused fingers stroking along your inner walls and the vibrations of his moans when you tensed around them made it hard to focus. You barely registered his hips moving against the bed in time with the thrust of his fingers, obviously just as into it as you were.

“Come for me, kitten, and I’ll give you what you want.” He moaned, the tip of his tongue flicking quickly over your clit again.

The tone of his voice, rough and full of lust, was enough to push you over the edge. You came with a cry, head thrown back against the pillows, vision whiting out at the intensity of your orgasm. 

Shinsou groaned as he coaxed you through your release, pulling back only when he felt you go boneless beneath him. You gazed at him through half-lidded eyes, trying to pull air into your lungs, watching as he sat back and wiped his mouth on his arm. “You okay, kitten?”

You managed to nod, watching as he shuffled off the bed and over to the table beside it, opening the top drawer and pulling a condom out. Sitting up on your elbows, you licked your lips, anticipating what was about to happen. Everything was moving quickly, but you’d been dreaming about sharing these intimate moments with him for so long that you couldn’t be bothered with worrying about what would happen tomorrow.

He made quick work of his belt, his pants falling around his narrow waist as he unbuttoned them, revealing purple boxers that matched his hair. He caught you watching, raising his eyebrow as he toyed with the elastic band on his boxer briefs. “See something you like?”

Teasing him, you grinned. “I told you, I've been thinking about this for a while.” You couldn’t help ogling him. You would have never guessed his body would look this way beneath the oversized t-shirts he usually wore when he came into your job every morning.

He laughed at your blatant staring, biting his lip. “You did mention that.” He shook his hips to tease you as he pulled down his pants and boxers, making you giggle. You liked how he could make you feel comfortable, and insanely turned on at the same time. 

Crawling up the bed, he settled in between your legs on his knees, his large hand moving to stroke his cock. He picked up the condom, ripped the foil packet, and rolled it onto his length. He gripped your thighs, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours. “You ready?”

Tilting your chin up, you kissed him, your fingers tangling in his hair. You could taste yourself on his lips, feel his heart beating when you let your other hand rest against his chest. You were more than ready to let this man wreck you. “I’m ready.”

He dropped his head to your shoulder as he positioned himself and pushed his hips forward, groaning as he entered you. The stretch was just on the edge of painful, and you tried to stifle your cry as you tucked your face into the space between his neck and shoulder, your nails digging into the skin of his back as you arched up off the mattress.

“Fuck…”He breathed, pulling out and pushing back in further. “You’re so tight.”

Uncurling to lay back against the pillows, your hands moved to wrap around his biceps, his arms caging you in on either side as he moved in and out of you slowly, giving you time to adjust to his size. You weren’t sure you’d ever been with someone as big as he was, and as the burning sensation of the stretch slowly turned to pleasure, you felt like you’d been missing out.

He finally paused when he was fully seated inside you, his lips pressing against the skin of your shoulder, and then up your neck and jaw until he was able to look into your eyes. You briefly thought about how bizarre the entire situation was, how you’d been pining after this guy you were too afraid to speak to, and now he was balls deep inside you in a lavish hotel room where he was paying to fuck you. At least he had confessed he was actually interested in you outside of all of this, so maybe that meant you had a shot at something with him. You didn’t really want to think about the money portion of it all because that was too much to unpack at that very moment, deciding instead to focus on how he was looking at you reverently, and he was not moving. “Shinsou, you gotta move, please. I’m-”

Lips curling up into a smirk, he kissed you. “I’ve got you, kitten, don’t worry.” His arm moved from your side, his hand curling around your thigh and lifted your leg slightly, and then he was pulling back and slamming his hips forward.

Your hips rose off the bed to meet him, pleasure coursing through you as he started a brutal pace, each thrust making your toes curl and your eyes roll back. You managed to wrap your legs around his waist, urging him closer as he leaned over and grabbed the ornate headboard of the bed above you, using it for leverage as he rammed his cock into you over and over again.

“God, fuck, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to-” He broke off, grunting when you clenched around him. “You’re so wet for me, kitten. I could fuck you like this all night. Would you like that?”

At that moment, it sounded like the single greatest idea you’d ever heard. “Shinsou, don’t stop!” 

Growling, he picked up the pace, letting go of the headboard to grab your legs, folding them between your bodies. The angle let him slide in deeper, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. You felt so full, the scent of his cologne surrounding you, the sound of his low moans and panting breaths echoing through the room. You keened, your fingers white-knuckling the sheets beside you, concentrating on the building pressure in your lower belly.

Every muscle in your legs was screaming, pleading gibberish spilling from your lips as you begged him to keep going, climbing higher and higher as he fucked you into the mattress. He sat back on his knees, positioning your legs over his shoulders and leaning forward again, kissing you to quiet your babbling. You couldn’t get enough of the taste, your fingers weaving through his drooping hair, delirious and consumed by him at that moment. He trailed his lips down to your chest, mouth closing around your nipple and sucking hard, scraping it with his teeth and soothing with his tongue. You barely registered his hand moving, his deft fingers finding your clit in between your sweat-slicked bodies, rubbing harsh circles over it. “Come on, kitten. I want to feel you come apart around me.”

Warm breath over your sensitive chest had you mewling, your back arching, your body pulled taught and finally snapping, cries of his name repeated like a prayer as you fell over the edge, drowning in ecstasy.

The moan that left him was just short of animalistic as he moved back, hips slamming against yours again and again as he chased his high, your pussy fluttering around him, gripping him and sucking him back in every time he drew back. “So fucking good for me, kitten.”

His rhythm became uneven, his grip on you loosening, hips slowing as he came. You watched the way his brow creased, his abs tightening as he unloaded into the condom. You found yourself half wishing he was cumming inside you, so fucked out that rational thought was off the table. He ground against you one last time until he was slumping forward, your legs falling off his shoulders and to the side. 

You hummed, petting his hair back from his forehead. You felt him smile against your skin, his nose brushing your cheek as he tried to catch his breath.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” You cleared your throat, your voice raw. “I’m good. Really good.”

Chuckling, he kissed your cheek, huffing as he lifted himself off of you. He pulled off the condom and tied it before shuffling off the bed and pulling on his boxers, wandering off in the direction of what you assumed was the bathroom. 

You took that moment to assess how weak your legs felt, cursing your choice of footwear, and wondering how you were going to walk. Shinsou appeared again a moment later, a wet washcloth in his hand. You let him clean you up, blushing but appreciating his kindness.

When he was satisfied, you took a deep breath and sat up, moving slowly as you stood up on shaky legs, gathering your clothes and redressing yourself. You suddenly felt awkward, not sure what to say or do. Did he want to see you again?

“Do you have work tomorrow?” He asked, breaking the awkward silence. 

Blinking up at him, you shook your head. “I’m off on the weekends. I’ll be in on Monday morning.”

Scratching the back of his neck nervously, he nodded. “I...good. Okay. I’ll see you then, right?”

“Unless you’re going to go somewhere else for your coffee, then yes, you’ll see me.” You frowned. “Did you not want to-”

“No! Oh god, I’m making a mess of things, aren’t I? I just mean I was worried you wouldn’t want me to come-” He groaned. “I feel like I’m making this more awkward than it needs to be.”

“You said it, not me.” You teased. “I’ll see you Monday, and we can talk then, okay?”

“I’d ask for your number, but neither of us has our phone.” He stepped forward, tipping your chin so you could gaze up at him. His lips pressing against yours sent a shiver down your spine again. “I’ll see you Monday.”

You barely remembered leaving the room or following the guard down to where your things were locked up, or the amount of the check you received before you left. 

All that was on your mind were sleepy amethyst eyes and lips curled into a knowing smirk, soft smiles, and urgent kisses, the way his voice sounded when he called you kitten.

[isolaradiale]

The small 'ahem' and the dimming lights brought the attention of the closing party back on the podium. On it was Janus, looking a great deal better than he was a few minutes ago (when he was practicing his closing speech on a statue when he thought nobody was looking.) On the stage, he took a deep breath and brightened as everyone turned in their formal evening attire.

"Thank you all for coming to the Closing Party. It's been a pretty busy week, and all of you have made such beautiful and wonderous pieces of art. I'm overjoyed that they're on display tonight, and I thought there wasn't any way to view all of them in the span of a couple hours. So this last night of the museum will be going on until the sun rises again. You don't have to stay the entire time, but--"

"Well, sure they do!"

The interjection startled the AI at the podium, and he jumped a few feet from his spot. The chipper voice started again as one of the other statues on the stage moved, revealing the form of a marble-sculpted woman covered in holographic stickers.

"After all, each and every one of you put in so much effort into bringing your imaginations and inspirations to life, haven't you? So we thought we might return the favor, that's all. And you're all invited!"

Punctuating her statement was the sound of the large wooden doors, now slamming shut inward with a reverberating BOOM that bounced off all the halls of the lobby, even from the auditorium.

"I hope you all put everything into your masterpieces! Because your masterpieces will put everything into annihilating all of you~"

With another delighted laugh, the lights in the auditorium shut off, leaving everyone with only the light of their phones and watches. And as the murmurs began and hands reached for other hands in the dark, there was another THUNK near the wall as a framed portrait fell off its anchor. From its canvas, it began to look at the crowd, eyes now glowing in the light of everyone's flashlights. One hand crawled out of the frame, then another. Nails sank into the floor with terrifying ease as the subject of the portrait pulled themselves from its frame, marble cracking at its fingertips.

The next sound was a scream, and the sound of a woman falling onto the floor as the portrait pulled at her ankles. And then another. And another still as the frames began to move off the walls en masse, attacking anyone unlucky enough to be in their sights. There was a panic in the auditorium as people tried to flee and fight, falling over each other to escape the room

But it seemed that no matter where anyone chose to run to, or where they thought to hide, there was always something in the shadows.

Waiting.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Welcome to Part Two of the event!

As stated, the artwork in the Tempus Museum has come to life--literally, in this case. You've been challenged to survive until the next sunrise. To do so, you must evade, capture or destroy the horrific objects that have come to life.

Most of the artwork in the museum is hostile, and will attempt to un-alive your characters as best they can.

These generic museum monsters can be found everywhere wandering around, but are more common in areas they originated from:

Subjects and people in paintings will crawl out of their canvases to chase and eliminate anything they see moving. Their sharp nails can pierce through marble, so flesh and bone is probably nothing to them. Humanoids are not exclusive to this class of monster--painted animals, creatures and other things will also hop out of paintings to come after your muse. You can capture a painting monster by smacking it with a canvas, or destroy it with paint thinner (or water, if it's a watercolor)

Framed sketches will behave similarly to the painting monsters, and will leave lots of thin scratches as opposed to big ones. Capture them with paper, or destroy them by rubbing them with an eraser.

Statues of any material will chase your characters and attempt to injure them with their fists (or if they were holding a weapon, they'll use that weapon). Catch them by making them run back to their plaques, stands and pedestals, or destroy using a hammer and chisel.

The Parlor Dolls have now, unfortunately, all grown sharp teeth. They've all taken on ghastly appearances, and if they swarm around you, it might as well be the end of you. You can capture a doll by chasing it back into a display case, or destroy it by carefully ripping their seams.

Dancing Dresses in the painted ballroom will beckon people to dance with them, and will attempt to catch people in the folds of their fabric to immobilize them. They're not lethal on their own, but they'll hold your muse in place for something more dangerous to come along. Capture them by hitting them with a dress form, or destroy them by ripping their seams OR cutting them with scissors. - NOTE: Characters who bowed and danced with any of the ghostly gowns at the Gala XY will not harm the people who danced with them, and will instead, keep dancing.

Decorated Weapons made in the forge will take a life of their own and will seemingly float around, looking for battle. Sometimes they'll team up with Statues, making them especially deadly companions. Capture them by hitting them with a weapon rack, or destroy them with a hammer or any significant heat source.

Baked Goods and Pastries made in the culinary courtyard will not get up on their own, but a good many of them have become poisoned. The severity and potency of the poisons varies, with side effects ranging from an upset stomach to a sudden case of death. They don't move, so you don't have to capture them, but... maybe don't eat them, no matter how good they may smell and look.

Paintings on the street have come to life, making hazards of their own outside of the museum. Street-painted landscapes have become very tangibly real, as well as anything sprayed on the walls. If there was ever a time to regret the giant mural you painted on the side of a building as it crawls from its spot to squash you like a bug, now's the time. You can destroy these with water.

Landscapes will attempt to draw your muse into their world, sealing them in their frames. Your muse will be helpless to do much other than look through the painting like a window. The only means of escape is to have someone else drag you out of the landscape!

In addition to these generic museum hazards, there are a few specific hazards depending on how your muse behaved in Part 1 of the event:

If your muse created something with love, adoration, feelings of happiness, or any other intensely positive emotions, it may help them instead of hinder them. This can be anything from alerting them of danger to protecting them.

Your muse's own creations may attack them, too, aside from the generic monsters in the museum.

If your muse stole any artwork from the museum, it will hunt them down with special vitriol and hostility, and will stop at nothing to destroy your muse.

Similarly, if your muse attempted to destroy any of the artwork in the museum, it's going to target them specifically and attempt to return the favor.

Any art your muse made as a gift to others will either hurt OR help them, depending on individual mun preference.

Have fun! :)

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Frequently Asked Questions

"How long will Part 2 of the event last?"

The event will run until 00:00, June 18th

"Are the optimized tools still here?"

Shockingly, yes! And so are the regular tools, too. How you use them to survive is up to you, but building a door might be the fastest way. However, be warned that drawing a door on a wall has just as big of a chance of sending your muse to a different random room than it does outside the museum.

"Can we still do Part 1 threads?"

Yes! If you would like to keep your Canvas experience monster-free, you can continue making Part 1 starters until the end of the event.

"What about the art my muse took home?"

It has also come to life! So while the museum is certainly dangerous, there are random statues, paintings, dolls and other monsters roaming around OUTSIDE the museum, too.

"Can we destroy the paintings NOW?"

Unfortunately, they're just as invulnerable as they were before. Bummer, huh? Unless they're hit with their specific weakness, the monsters are invulnerable to attacks that damage them. (However, they can still be hindered by traps, and while strong attacks won't destroy them, they'll knock them out of the way!)

"Can we interact with Capella or Janus?"

Poor Janus is trying to put all the artwork back where it belongs by capturing them. He's in no danger for this, as the art in the museum will not attack their curator. Interacting with Capella the Statue might bring the wrath of her giant cat out to you, so. You've been warned!

"What if my muse saw something from their own world in a painting or a statue?"

That's incredibly unfortunate--those might be hostile too, and are subject to the rules that follow the other genuine painting monsters (meaning that the portrait of that character will not have any of their original powers or abilities.)

Whether the subject of the art your muse is familiar with will help or hinder them is up to mun discretion.

"Can't we just bust down the museum and escape?"

And destroy the biggest piece of art in the area?! (No, they won't budge. You'll have to draw your way out if you want to escape, either through a door or some kind of tunnel or something.)

"When will the sun rise?"

Not for 24 hours in-character (though the event will last until Jun 11th). Extended night time, woo!

"What happens if our muses get got by the museum?"

Muses that were defeated and failed to survive the challenge will have their portrait put up on the Wall of Shame, reflecting how they lost the challenge. They won't respawn until the sun rises, either!

"What if I have a question that's not listed here?"

Feel free to direct any questions you may have to the Masterlist!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"I thought you said everything would be fine!" Came the panicked footsteps of Janus, running to grab the frame the portrait monster crawled out of, picking it up with surprising ease.

"In my defense, I assumed everything would be." The statue of Caelum replied, furrowing his eyebrows and scrolling through a wall of code. Other statues of a Goddess-like Pleiades and an Antiquated Attired Alathfar, joining as guests, seemed to realize the issue before their older companion did.

"...Yes, nothing in here changed. But I don't see anything about..."

From the other side of the stage, Capella's statue pranced forth, stickers still glittering in the dark, somehow.

"That's just the first page." "The first page?" Caelum and Janus echoed back in confusion. "First page!~"

The grin still stayed on her cheeks from sticker to sticker, while Janus' increasingly scrunched in accusation.

"...I'll be damned. There were two pages after all." "DAD!" "I didn't see it, honest!" "I can't BELIEVE you!" "Now now, it was an honest mistake, really--!"

And as the old man's statue got quite the scolding from his son, Pleides and Alathfar stepped aside, meeting with Capella.

"Was there really a page two?" Pleiades asked, adjusting her comically large, rounded glasses. To that, Capella merely rocked on her heels, smile never fading.

"It's entirely possible Caelum got so wrapped up in helping Janus plan the museum that he overlooked it. Which is endearing, in a way. But..."

As Alathfar trailed off, the three of them looked back at the other statue trying to placate his agitated son, and grimaced in unison (except for Capella, who still seemed to be beaming with delight.)

None of them seemed keen on getting in the middle of the quarrel, and were only relieved when Janus stormed off with his empty frame.

[dessarious]

What Makes a Family? Pt6

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

Marinette studied her family, old and new. Her parents were obviously still worried about Alfred influencing her but that was a fear she’d have to break with time. Luka and Kagami trusted her judgement and she trusted them not to overreact. Her new Grandfather seemed content rolling with the punches and staying in her comfort zone. Chloe… well she was still glaring at Alfred. The girl had adopted a ridiculously overprotective big sister persona once she and Marinette had made peace. Most of the time it was endearing but right now it wasn’t likely to help.

“Grandpa Alfie, would you like to see my garden?” Alfred blinked at her and she had to hide a smile. It was obvious the man was used to being prepared and it was fun surprising him. Before he could answer, her mother jumped in.

“Sweetheart, do you really think that’s a good idea?” There was a warning in her tone and Marinette fought not to sigh.

“Maman, everything will be fine. We’ll still be in the house and I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” It was obvious the man would be more willing to talk to her alone and while she had no intention of changing her life, she did want to hear what he had to say. If her birth father really did want a relationship with her, the least she could do was listen and get all the information she could before making a decision. Her parents still looked less than thrilled. “This is something I need to do, and I’d really like your support.”

“Oh, Mari, of course.” Both her parents tripped over themselves to assure her that they’d always support her decisions. It was a little bit of a dirty trick on her part, but it was the quickest way out of the argument. Alfred was studying her again and she had a feeling he knew exactly what she’d done.

“Do you want any of us to come with you?” Kagami’s tone was bordering on hostile so  Marinette shook her head. None of them were calm enough except Luka, but she had a feeling she’d get a lot more information if she was alone with the man anyway.

“Well, he hasn’t even said yes yet, but I think he’d prefer to talk to me alone.” No one seemed happy about it but they all did eventually nod.

“I’d love to see your garden Miss Marinette.” She gave the man a full wattage smile and noticed the suspicion in his eyes. This should be interesting.

“Wonderful, follow me.” She led Alfred up to her room and out to her balcony before anyone could protest further. While she was proud of her herbs and flowers, she knew they both had other reasons for being up here. After taking a deep breath to calm herself she turned to her new Grandfather. “You have concerns.” Best to rip the bandaid off.

“A few Miss.” He seemed surprised that she’d noticed. She was still just annoyed that he insisted on calling her Miss. She was going to break that habit if it was the last thing she did. “The way I’ve seen you interact with people so far is a bit alarming. Not to mention the… devotion they have for you.” Marinette blew out a frustrated sigh. Him being so observant was going to be a challenge.

“How much do you know about the situation here in Paris?” His confused frown was not what she’d been expecting. Great.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what exactly you’re referring to Miss.” She knew that the world at large wasn’t aware of anything strange in Paris, but she’d thought someone with a worldwide business would have at least caught wind of it. Apparently she underestimated the Miraculous magic.

“Please Grandpa Alfie, at least drop the Miss and just call me Marinette. And please sit. I have a feeling this is going to be a very long conversation.” He remained silent, but he did sit. Where did she even start? “I’m sure this will come as a bit of a shock, and I’m sure you’ll want to verify it yourself, but Paris is being terrorized by a madman with a magical artifact. Has been for four years actually.”

“That is not possible.” She could tell the words were more instinctual than anything else. He composed himself quickly though. “My apologies, but I can’t see how we wouldn’t have heard of it if that were the case.” Honestly, she didn’t either. The Kwami had tried to explain it to her, multiple times. Something about restored timelines and only those affected really being able to focus on it long enough to know it was real in the first place. It just gave her a headache and she still didn’t really understand.

“As I said, the villain and the heroes are using magic. Some part of the magic is somehow stopping the information from making it out of Paris. No one really understands it, but it’s the truth. As I said, I’m sure you’ll want to verify it but in order to do so you’ll most likely have to go through an attack yourself to lift the haze.” That’s what people had started calling it, stupid name though it was. The further away from Paris you got, the more hazy your memory of the attacks, and until you’d actually experienced it yourself any news footage seemed to be pure fiction. It was good and bad. Alfred was still frowning at her with disbelief all over his face.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not sure how it’s relevant Miss.” She crossed her arms and glowered at him, waiting. It was a tense silence for a few minutes until he finally sighed. “You are definitely your father’s daughter. I still don’t see how this is relevant, Marinette.” She just grinned at him.

“Well you pointed out the devotion my friends and parents have for me. We’ve basically been living in a warzone for four years. While Ladybug’s cure fixes physical damage and reverses death, we’ve all been heavily traumatized. What you’ve noticed in our behavior is likely due to that trauma and the fact that in order not to be taken over by Hawkmoth we have to carefully regulate our emotions.”

“What do you mean taken over?” It was so strange having to explain this to someone. The real question was how much detail could she go into without making it obvious she knew more than she should. She sat across from him and tried to find the easiest way to make things make sense to him.

“Okay, so the heroes and villains all get their powers from magical artifacts called Miraculous. Each Miraculous has specific powers. Hawkmoth, the main villain, is able to send out corrupted butterflies called Akumas to give powers to others and basically take them over. He does this by taking advantage of people’s negative emotions. The victims don’t remember anything once Ladybug has purified the Akuma and it’s not their fault. All the people you met downstairs have been Akumatized at least once. They rely heavily on me and each other to keep their negative emotions to a minimum so it doesn’t happen again.”

“They’ve all been Akumatized, but you haven’t?” She honestly hadn’t expected him to catch that, but she probably should have. She gave a single nod in response. “Why do you think that is?” She shot him a look that said she knew what he was doing, but she answered anyway.

“I’ve always been a fairly positive and upbeat person. Yes, I do tend to be a bit dramatic at times, but it doesn’t usually last long enough to attract an Akuma. I have had a couple close calls but I was lucky enough to see it coming in time to focus on the good things in my life.”

“Such as?” He was testing her. She wondered if there was more to it than simply trying to assess how she was likely to take advantage of this new found connection, but she had a feeling she’d find out soon enough.

“Well, my friends and family for starters. You saw how much they love me. They’re all fiercely protective and will always have my back. If that’s not something to be happy about, I don’t know what is.” His look softened considerably and she felt like she’d passed some sort of test.

“Yes Marinette, that is certainly a good reason to be happy.” Progress! She didn’t even have to prompt him to use her name that time.

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[iturbide]

You don't even have to ask! Details please!

Well I always like to ask just in case you guys are the ones who have to see it on your dashboards

I’m very glad you’re exited though so crossover details go

The Starters

Because we have different lords heading up the titular three houses, and each one leans heavily into certain color and element themes similar to the common starter trio in mainline Pokemon games, it becomes almost a no-brainer to say that the Lords from Three Houses are your starter choices in this game.  For Edelgard, you have Embird, a fire-type eagle; for Dimitri you have Parcub, a water-type lion; and for Claude you have Fawnceal, a grass-type deer, reflecting both their house color schemes and emblems.

These starters, however, are unique in many ways.  To begin with, no matter which one you pick, they will always have a set gender, nature, and characteristic; they will also have perfect IVs and their hidden ability, rather than the standard one.  Since they are meant to reflect specific people, you’ll also have a limited choice on nicknames, similar to the original Red/Blue giving you options for your name and your rival’s: for Embird, it would be along the lines of “Edelgard” and “El”; for Parcub, it would be things like “Dimitri” and “Dima”; and for Fawnceal, you would have choices like “Claude” and “Khalid.”

Whichever starter you pick is also going to be your companion throughout the entire game.  As with Pokemon Yellow and the Let’s Go games, your starter will follow you outside of its pokeball, and you’ll be able to turn around and interact with them whenever you want to build your bond and get a feel for their mood.  Unlike these games, though, your starter cannot be put into a box, traded, or left at the daycare: they’re your companion, and they will stay that way throughout the game.  To give players more opportunities to train pokemon other than their starter, though (and to allow more freedom for people who like to play hardcore styles like Nuzlocke), there is a special “starter slot” that effectively allows you to bring seven pokemon with you; however, only your starter is allowed to take this extra slot, and while they’re in it they cannot be used in battle and will not gain experience or IVs even if the ExpShare is being used: they’ll just follow you around in the overworld so that you can interact with them.  To swap your starter back into your team, one of the other six will need to be returned to the PC.

In addition, each starter has a unique talent allowing them to access things that are normally unavailable: for Embird’s line, you can engage any NPC in the wilds to a battle, including those who normally are just there to offer advice or healing (since if they’re past the tall grass, they have to have pokemon); for Parcub’s line, they can detect secret entrances to the evil organization’s bases (which otherwise can only be found through either trial and error or by talking to people for hints on where to look -- plus they’re likely randomized every time a new game is started); and for Fawnceal’s line, they can locate areas well off the beaten path with new people to talk to, secrets to uncover, and pokemon to befriend. 

The Rivals

Much in the way that the starters are all based on the Lords from the game, the rivals are based on their retainers: Hubert will always choose Embird for his starter, Dedue will always choose Parcub for his, and Hilda will always choose Fawnceal for hers.  Byleth, of course, throws a wrench into the system, since they will be picking one of those three pokemon as their own starter, meaning that you end up with two rivals (one for each of the two you didn’t select) while the last will become the professor’s assistant, who will occasionally seek you out on Hanneman’s behalf.

Each rival also has unique information to share as the game progresses.  Hubert knows a great deal about the evil organization, and informs you of their existence and misdeeds; Hilda’s older brother Holst is a gym leader, so she tells you about the gym challenges; and Dedue is quite well traveled, and can point you toward special locations yielding rare items like high quality berries or pokemon that only appear at certain times/on certain days.  During the main path of the game, you’ll come across two of these characters routinely and therefore gain insight into your chosen starter’s evolutionary path, along with some extra challenges or exploration opportunities; however, the last rival will only give you that information if you backtrack to Hanneman’s lab to talk to them, something that can be tiresome and challenging in the early game before you have access to transport moves like Fly.  Ultimately, this means that you’ll likely have one gameplay challenge that goes unexplored until very late in the game or after the credits roll.

Along with the information they provide, each rival also has unique interactions with you.  Hubert is highly competitive and will always fight you when you cross paths, only giving you information after you beat him; he also gives you the occasional item to strengthen your pokemon, like Protein or Iron.  Dedue is much more peaceful and will give you a choice about whether you want to battle or not (though you have a limited window where you can change your mind if you say ‘no’); he gives you information regardless of whether you choose to fight him or not, and frequently gives you special berries when you meet him.  Hilda considers battling to be way too much effort and will only battle you a few times under normal circumstances (though with Embird’s special talent you can induce a challenge against her), preferring to give you information instead and usually giving you a held item “accessory” when you meet her.

The Challenges

Unlike the usual mainline Pokemon games, this game's traditional objectives -- the gym challenge, fighting the evil organization, completing the pokedex -- can be prioritized and tackled in a more focused manner, with incentives to do so dependent on your starter choice, since each starter’s evolution is tied to a specific narrative element.  For Embird, you need to acquire six badges in order to evolve her into Empyre; for Parcub, you need to beat three executives of the evil organization to evolve him into Soverain; and for Fawnceal, you need to talk to 500 people throughout the region before he’ll evolve into Camaradeerie. 

Given the nature of Three Houses, it only makes sense that certain key figures take on prominent roles in this pokemon offshoot:

Hanneman is the region’s Pokemon Professor

The eight gym leaders you’ll face include Manuela, Lonato, Rodrigue, Holst, Alois, Gilbert, Catherine, and Shamir

The Elite Four is made up of the Four Saints: Macuil, Indech, Cichol (Seteth), and Cethleann (Flayn)

Rhea is the region’s champion, and has been for ages

The Agarthans are the evil organization you’ll face: Cornelia, Monica/Kronya, and Tomas/Solon are the executives, while Arundel/Thales is the boss

If you pick Embird as your starter, facing the gym challenge is going to be your top priority so that you can have her final evolution (which fits Edelgard’s route in Three Houses perfectly).  Hilda will give you information on the different gyms when you meet her, and Dedue will give you info on rare pokemon you might want to incorporate into your team; however, the evil organization will be much harder (though not impossible) to access and engage with until after the gym challenge is cleared, and they will be much more difficult to deal with after being put off for so long, with run-of-the-mill members having significantly stronger teams and the executives and leader being incredible challenges.

If you pick Parcub as your starter, uprooting the evil organization is going to be first on your list of things to do so you can have his final evolution.  Hubert will give you information on where to find their bases (and notably, Dimitri will face Arundel as the boss rather than Thales, just as he does in Azure Moon), and Hilda will still give you information on the different gyms so you can level your team more and more; however, it will be more challenging to find and access hidden areas until very late in the game, so completing the pokedex will be more of a chore and the legendaries will be significantly more challenging when you finally do face them.

If you pick Fawnceal as your starter, exploring the world and working on the pokedex will be your primary focus to secure his final evolution.  Dedue will tell point you toward all kinds of places off the beaten path where obscure pokemon appear, and Hubert will still point you toward the evil organization since many of their bases are out in the wilds where you’ll be hunting for pokemon; however, leaving the gyms will result in a greater challenge, with different and stronger pokemon on each leader’s team and an even more intense Elite Four and Champion (drawing on both Claude’s paralogue against Macuil and Silver Snow’s endgame boss of the Immaculate One, since it’s mostly a copy-paste of Verdant Wind anyway).

[oversimplify-it]

Story Process Tag by @herpixels​

I was tagged by @dynastiasimss​ - Thank you so much for tagging me!! 😊💖💗 This will most definitely get a bit wordy because I’m terrible at explaining things concisely! 😂 Also, I’ll mostly be talking about my process for 2.B.A Grandmaster but I’ll touch on my process for Erin in San Myshuno too!

I’m also going to get tags out of the way up here so that no one has to scroll all the way through this ... absolute novel that is under the cut LMAO so I tag: @cyansimblr  @x-simss @matchacake and any other simblrs who wanna do this!! and feel free to skip if you want!

1. Your writing process My writing process is very, very chaotic, and changes with the wind... Erin in San Myshuno doesn’t really have a process, I just play the game and then put in some dialogue based on the events. None of it is guided by my hand at all though! 2.B.A Grandmaster on the other hand is written in part based on what happens in game and in part by my own creative vision. Most of the time, I let stuff happen, and then fill in the blanks in between events. I go in game, play Sims as I normally would (skill build, take care of needs, go out to venues, etc.) and then watch what weird and interesting things happen. For example, Augusta’s meeting with Xavier in the beginning was completely the game’s doing! He was the only one to show up for the Welcome Wagon event, so I rolled with that. Scenes like Kaitlin’s meeting with Maverick and those sort of things are planned by me, as they’re necessary to create a more full narrative! It’s like collaborative storytelling, but my “partner” is a game that is weird and random and crazy. 😂 After stuff happens in game and I get screenshots, I then actually write for it. I chose to write novel style for the series because - as some of my long-term followers may remember - I had another story that was just screenshots with dialogue on them? And it was very hard, LOL, it didn’t suit my workflow very well and I ended up dropping it after a month or so. I wanted 2.B.A Grandmaster to be something I could post consistently, and so I opted for a style that I was more familiar and experienced with!

2. Scene building For the most part, I just work with what sims gives me, but as I mentioned above, some scenes I actually go to the trouble of setting up. For those, I still use the sims animations mostly (I’ve used poses about 3 times in 2.B.A Grandmaster so far) but I do usher my sims around the "set” as I see fit. I build a lot of my own lots and locations for 2.B.A GM because I tend to get a vision in my mind of what I want and refuse to settle for less. 😂 One such case is the scene where Maverick meets up with Octavia--

I made the alleyway we see here - it’s two entirely empty buildings sandwiched side by side on an otherwise empty lot in Oasis Springs. The only part I bothered to decorate was the alley itself because I knew I wasn’t going to use the rest of the area, but maybe we’ll revisit it sometime and I’ll finish the two buildings! I actually loved making this set and like how it turned out, LOL~

Then I just have whatever sims are involved in a scene interact with each other for ages until I feel like I have enough screenshots to make a scene. I usually have a vague idea of what’s going to be said in any given scene - especially the ones I actually planned out beforehand - but I get some excess screenshots to be safe. I try lots of different interactions and pause like every few frames to get interesting expressions and stuff, LOL. Lots of “Complain about Cold Weather” and “Give fake bad news” ...

3. CC/Pose making I don’t actually make my own CC for 2.B.A GM specifically (I’ve made a couple eyeshadows but I don’t use them super frequently) but there is a scene coming up in the future that I plan to make poses for. I have a very clear image in my mind that includes a lot of subtle expressions and very specific things that I doubt I could find poses for, so I’m gonna have to brave the terrifying landscape of blender in order to make it a reality. 😧

4. Getting in the zone I don’t have any sort of “ok, show time” ritual like some people do but I wish I did, because my motivation waxes and wanes so unpredictably. Some days I just don’t feel like doing anything, and other days I edit and write for 5 posts in a row! I am always listening to something though, usually music, every once in a blue moon a video with lots of talking. 5. Screenshot folder

UGH... 

6. Captions I don’t do captions on 2.B.A GM posts, but for my city living gameplay I do! I keep them simple, because I don’t want to make it too much work for myself. Erin in San Myshuno’s style of editing is 100% based around ease, because I wanted something to post often that didn’t put too much of a strain on me. Verdana in white, typically 35-40 px, with a gradient border. Each sim we encounter has a different gradient color, usually based on their outfit or just the ~vibe~ I get from them. Erin’s gradient is Hot pink to ... gee, what would you call it. Sonic the Hedgehog Blue LMAO-- I chose that gradient because that’s the color of the overlay, which I’ll talk more about in the next section!

7. Editing My two ‘series’ - and I use that term loosely LMAO - have different editing processes, so I’ll try to summarize them both. Basically, for 2.B.A Grandmaster, I touch up the saturation and brightness depending on the scene. If it’s evening in the shots, I usually won’t touch brightness, and if it’s night, I might even lower it a bit for more accurate lighting! Once that’s done, I blur everything but relevant elements of a scene, usually the character we’re following or who is speaking. I have to select the character from the background manually which takes a bit, but other than that it’s very minimal.

My shots aren’t super glamorous, but I prefer simple screenshots and actually being able to keep up with a story schedule as opposed to what happened with my last story. 😬 As for Erin in San Myshuno, barring captions which I only do when I feel it’s necessary, it’s literally just an overlay on otherwise untouched screenshots. 😭 I would do more, but again, it’s supposed to be an easy downtime sort of series for me so~

This goes over top all screenshots on the “Add” setting at 20% opacity. It brightens things up and softens them, as well as making the colors slightly more harmonious! If anyone wants me to go more in depth on editing, or maybe captions, please let me know! I’m happy to talk about it if it’ll help anyone, and I know that a lot of tutorials cover how to do stuff in Photoshop, whereas I use FireAlpaca (which is 100% free btw! It’s more of an art program, but not bad for editing) 8. Throwback!

Oh boy, so this is one of my first posts on simblr. For starters, I didn’t know about camera mode at the time, so that’s the first thing I would change obviously LOL. 😬 The framing I did at the time was ... cute, but it makes the pictures feel kind of cramped and small in my opinion, so I did away with that for all of my later stories. Also, Amy and Gemma aren’t very well centered in this picture! Other than that, this isn’t actually terrible I don’t think, so aside from maybe blurring the background as I do on 2.B.A GM now, I wouldn’t change too much! Thankfully, I had observed other people’s stories before making my own on here for a little bit, so I wasn’t starting with absolutely no idea what to do, but I still think I’ve improved since I made these. 😊

This was a ton of fun!! If anyone has questions or wants more info on anything I covered in here, absolutely feel free to ask, and thank you so much if you actually read through all of this - I know I rambled for quite a while!! 🙏

[clumsyclifford]

PS, any chance I could convince you to write some fluff to balance the sad bits you've been writing? I'm worried about the consecutive angst/emo/TW stuff you've created. (Are you okay? do you need someone to be there with you?) IF and only if you feel inspired enough, maybe a "surprise we got married in the middle of quarantine" Lashton fic where no - not even Malum - knew except maybe like 2 random witnesses? -🕷

spidey anon, pat yourself on the fucking back for somehow getting me to write fluff. really can’t explain that with anything except that it is probably affected by the sheer joy i feel from listening to music with cam for seven hours straight <3 anyway. this isn’t Exactly what you said but it’s not, like, NOT what you said and i was gonna write more but then i thought i’d just never finish it and i felt like you deserved something nice so i am just going to give it to you as it is hope you enjoy

-

Luke finally learns why Ashton’s been restless all week when he pulls out the ring.

“No,” he says immediately, before Ashton can even open his mouth. A look of confused distress appears on Ashton’s face. “I mean, not no. Just, like, no, you aren’t proposing to me now.”

“I one hundred percent am,” Ashton says, sounding exasperated and fond. “Shut up, don’t act like you weren’t expecting it.”

“I wasn’t expecting it!” That’s mostly true. Although it doesn’t mean Luke hadn’t been hoping. “But I don’t want you to propose in quarantine, how un-romantic is that? I can’t think of anything less romantic.”

“Nothing? At all?” Ashton narrows his eyes. “I could have proposed while you were in the bathroom. Just stood outside the door and gone hey, Luke, marry me?”

Despite himself, a thrill runs down Luke’s spine at the words. “Fine,” Luke says. “That would have been less romantic, but only barely. Come on, Ashton, it’s not like being engaged is going to change anything about our situation. We’re stuck at home together anyway.”

“Yeah, but,” Ashton says, “and hear me out on this one: I’ll get to call you my fiancé.”

Luke blushes. “That’s really nothing.”

“You won’t be saying that when I’m calling you fiancé,” Ashton says smugly. “Now if I could please get on with it.”

Luke sighs. “I could always say no.”

“Then you’ll say no,” Ashton says, shrugging. “And I’ll just keep asking.”

Of course he will. Ashton’s nothing if not persistent. To a fault, some might say.

“Alright then,” Luke says, trying to sound as defeated as possible to mask the giddy feeling filling his gut. “Go on.”

Even before Ashton starts talking, Luke knows that in no universe would he ever, ever, ever be idiotic enough to refuse a marriage proposal from Ashton Irwin. And he really wouldn’t even want to.

“Alright, well,” Ashton says, and Luke notices that his knuckles are white from holding the small velvet box, and his free hand is shaking. The steadiest grip of anyone Luke’s ever known, and Ashton’s hands are shaking. It hits Luke, the enormity of this question. “First of all, I want to say that I love you. I’ll love you if you say yes. I’ll love you if you say no. I’ll love you if you break up with me and go fall in love with — with Michael.” Luke snorts. “I mean it, Luke, I really will. Like, you’re it for me. I know that’s what everyone says, but you really are. I can’t even imagine — quarantine without you. Life without you.”

“Grim,” Luke says under his breath, and Ashton laughs nervously.

“Yeah,” he says. “Grim as fuck. I’m not going to waste all my words on this, because — well, for starters because you just said you’re planning to say no, so I’ll save my really mushy romantic stuff for when I know you’ll say yes.” Luke huffs an unsteady laugh. Ashton’s hand is still shaking, and Luke reaches unthinkingly across the table and clamps it between his own palms. Ashton gives him a grateful smile. “But also because you already know it. I don’t think I need to remind you of all the reasons I love you. I will if you ask, though,” he adds, and Luke smiles. “But mostly I think the beauty of a proposal is that it’s not as much about what we have been, but what we will be. We’ve both been here for our whole relationship. You know what’s happened. I don’t need to remind you. I’m just asking if — if you want to see what it can become. What more we can be.” He takes a deep breath, and Luke squeezes his hand. “So, Luke. Cards on the table. Will you marry me?”

And it’s cute that Ashton phrases it as a question, as if there could ever be any more than one answer. Luke swallows thickly. “Of course I’ll marry you.”

“Wait,” Ashton says. “Really?”

“Of fucking course really.” Luke comes around the table without releasing his grip on Ashton’s hand. “God, stop being nervous, Ashton, I’d love to marry you, I’ll marry you literally tomorrow if you want.”

“You were going to say no,” Ashton says, sounding dazed. “What — I really thought you were serious about that.”

“Ashton,” Luke says, falling into a kneel so he can be eye level with Ashton. “I am so ridiculously in love with you I think the only thing that could stop me from wanting to marry you would be actual death. And even then, I’m pretty sure my ghost would haunt you until we figured out necromancy.”

Ashton laughs; Luke recognizes the way his shoulders fall a bit, sees the tension drain from his posture, the stress evaporate from between his brows. “Oh, the fucking ring,” he remembers, and flips the box open, pressing it into Luke’s hand. Luke gazes down at the silver ring with a growing feeling of anticipation, something akin to impatience, if it weren’t accompanied by such elation.

“It’s so pretty,” he murmurs. “Understated. Perfect.”

“I thought you’d prefer understated,” Ashton says, pink-cheeked.

Luke draws Ashton into a kiss, wondering if he can somehow diffuse the warmth pooling in his chest before it grows too hot and burns him. Ashton twists his fingers into Luke’s hair, and they stay that way until Luke’s knees start to feel sore from the tile and he has to pull back. 

“I’d marry you tomorrow,” Luke repeats, breathless, and this time means it seriously. “Let’s just get fucking married, Ashton.”

“That’s the idea of the proposal,” Ashton says, freeing his hand from Luke’s hair but resting it instead on Luke’s shoulder, fingertips drumming against the back of his neck. “We can’t get married tomorrow. As much as I would love to.”

“Why not?” Luke challenges. “We don’t know when the next time we’ll be able to do a proper wedding ceremony will be. This pandemic could last another year, another two. I don’t want to wait a year to be married to you. I don’t want to wait a month, Ashton.”

“You’ve really flipped on this,” Ashton says. “Luke, our parents will kill us. Our bandmates will kill us.”

“Whatever,” Luke says. Adrenaline is racing through his veins, and love for Ashton, although if he’s honest with himself all of his blood is tinged with love for Ashton anyway, has been for years. Ashton is what keeps his heart beating. When he bleeds, it’s all love. “We can have a ceremony later, when it’s safe, I just want to be married now. My husband, Ashton Irwin. Doesn’t that sound good?”

“My husband Luke,” Ashton breathes, and Luke can see the moment he succumbs to the idea. A dry smile creeps across Ashton’s face, and he drops his forehead against Luke’s. “Luke Hemmings, my husband. God. Okay. Fine. Let’s get married tomorrow.”

There’s no stopping the grin that stretches Luke’s mouth ear-to-ear, nor the way a furious stampede of cows/horses suddenly makes itself at home in his stomach. “Getting married tomorrow!” he whisper-chants. “Mikey and Cal are going to kill us!”

“Lauren and Harry will end my life,” Ashton adds, mirroring Luke’s smile. “Your mum will have my head.”

“Oh, she will,” Luke says, nodding in agreement. “But I’ll just go, hey, mum, can you not speak to my husband that way?”

“Jesus,” Ashton says hoarsely. “That sounds so fucking good.”

Luke chews on the inside of his lip. “Might keep using it, then,” he says. “If you ask nicely.”

Ashton shakes his head, with obvious difficulty. “Get up, you absolute menace, we need to eat dinner still.”

“Fine,”  Luke says. “After dinner, then.” He smirks as he pushes himself to his feet, and Ashton swallows.

“Behave,” he says sternly. 

“I’m behaving!” Luke protests. “Why can’t I try and seduce my own husband-to-be?”

“Because we are having dinner,” Ashton says, rolling his eyes and pushing his chair out to retrieve their food from where it’s warming in the oven. “You can seduce me after.”

That’s a pretty fair deal, but Luke still pouts for another moment, because he has a reputation to uphold. “Hey,” he says, settling into his chair as Ashton brings the food out. “Does this make you the housewife? I feel like you do most of the cooking and cleaning.”

“I’m pretty sure that makes you the trophy husband,” Ashton returns, taking his own seat.

Luke snickers. “I can deal with that.” There are much worse things to be than Ashton Irwin’s trophy husband. That’s already a million miles above boyfriend. And frankly, any way Luke gets to be Ashton’s husband is perfect for him.

[colesterstrudel]

Late Nights/Early Mornings

Michael Cole/Reader: The new coffee shop owner takes issue with the noise coming from your club down the street. But that’s not all he has an issue with. Fluff bc idk how to write anything else anymore lmao

Tagging @paintedneverland @merchfreak  @ilovesamizayn 

One of the hardest things about owning and running your own club was that the musical acts you often got to play for you never knew when to leave. More often than not, you would have to usher them out in the wee hours of the morning, wanting nothing more than to go home and get some rest yourself. 

Today was no different. The club had officially closed hours ago, and usually you would still be in the office doing paperwork and getting things ready for the night to come. Instead, you were attempting to get the band you’d hired for the night to finally leave the drum set alone. You were sure you could only take so many more random drum fills before your head exploded, but none of them seemed to be fazed by it. 

“Let us know if you ever want us back!” the singer yelled over his shoulder as they finally walked out and down the street together. 

You didn’t reply, just waved them off before turning back into the club to grab your bag and locking the door. When you stepped outside, yanking at the door to ensure it was secure, you turned to see a stranger standing at the door to the coffee shop next door, eyes focused on the band that was still slowly making their way down the street. 

“Do you know how late it is?” He asked, voice cool as his eyes still settled on the rowdy musicians. “You should probably learn to control your employees instead of letting them wake the whole street up so late,” he continued, turning to look at you. 

“Sorry, grandpa.” You knew it was late - or rather early - but sarcasm dripped from your voice as your eyes studied the older man. He was impeccably dressed, his salt and pepper hair cropped short. His button up shirt was tucked into nice slacks, a patterned tie around his neck. Vaguely, you remembered the coffee shop you frequented on early mornings like this one was sold to a new owner and had been closed for a week in order for the change to occur. You had to be looking at the new owner. 

“Grandpa? Just how old do you think I am?” Now he sounded indignant, and you couldn’t help the smirk on your face as you finally stepped away from the door to your club and walked closer to the coffee shop - and the new owner. 

“Old enough to complain about a little bit of noise.” You rolled your eyes at him, nodding to the coffee shop. “You open this morning? I need some caffeine so I can keep on causing a ruckus, annoying all the elders in the community.”

“The shop’s closed,” he answered quickly, turning on his heel and opening the door. 

“That’s fine. I’ll just wait out here til you’re open!” 

He paused mid-step, sighing. “Come on,” he grumbled, holding the door open and allowing you to walk inside in front of him.

“The old owner knew my order by heart. It’s okay if you can’t quite do the same, though. I know you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” The smile on your face was sickly sweet as the owner glared at you from behind the counter. He wasn’t even that old, you knew that much just from speaking to him, but you couldn’t stop yourself from poking the proverbial bear. It didn’t help that he caught you on a bad morning, when your headache was already forming and you wished you had been in bed hours before. 

Still, something about the cold glare in his grey eyes was both entertaining and intriguing, and as he made your coffee, you couldn’t help but think about how they’d look if they were warmer, coupled with a smile rather than the grimace he was directing at you. 

---

You managed to avoid running into the new owner of the coffee shop for the next few days, the club closing on time allowing you to make it home long before the coffee shop’s doors ever opened. 

Now, though, paperwork had taken hours to do once the last customer finally left and you were finally locking the door at 5:45. You stifled a yawn as you yanked the door, ensuring it was secure, before your eyes focused on the lit up windows of the coffee shop. The allure of coffee drew you in, even if you weren’t necessarily looking forward to an interaction with the shop’s grumpy new owner. 

Even still, a small smile came to your face as you walked towards the door as you recalled just how grumpy you made him. Maybe a cup of coffee and a bit of verbal sparring would be enough to keep you awake long enough to make it home safely. 

Before you’d even consciously made the decision to, you were opening the door to the coffee shop. It was empty, quiet, but you still saw the owner bustling around behind the counter. He was impeccably dressed yet again, but the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows and he had an apron around his waist. 

Any question you had about what he was doing behind the counter when he had no customers was answered when he turned to face you as you stepped in front of the cash register. He held a cup in his hand, pushing it across the counter towards you. 

“Caramel dirty chai,” he said, fighting back a smile at the surprised look on your face. “I guess this old dog can learn a few new tricks.”

Your eyes narrowed just slightly as you took in the scene before you, your hands already digging into your wallet for your debit card. As he took it from your hand, you noticed the name tag on his shirt.

“Aren’t you a little overdressed to be slinging coffee beverages all day, Michael?” You asked, taking your card and drink from him. 

“What would you prefer I wear? Skinny jeans?” His eyes raked down your body, taking in your ripped skinny jeans before meeting your eyes again. 

“Please, grandpa, as if you even know where to buy skinny jeans. Or any jeans, for that matter.” And then you turned to leave, ignoring Michael’s quiet laugh behind you. 

---

Two days later and you knew you were going to run into Michael long before it ever happened. The band you’d contacted to perform tonight had come highly requested, but just as loud and hard to control after hours as the one the day you met Michael. They finally left the club at 6 in the morning, stumbling down the road, and you took a moment to sit at the bar and take a deep breath. 

You were exhausted, to put it simply, and you didn’t think you had it in you to spar with Michael, not today. But you knew he’d be grumpy about the noise and you needed coffee if you didn’t want to slump over on the sidewalk and fall asleep on your way home. Taking another deep breath, you grabbed your things and stepped out into the early morning. 

You’d barely taken a step away from the door, too preoccupied with putting your keys in your bag to notice there was a man standing right in front of you until you ran into him. His hands reached out to grab your arms and hold you steady, keeping you from falling, and you clutched onto his arms before finally looking up at him. 

Michael was here, of course, and beneath the concern in his eyes at your stumble was thinly veiled annoyance.

“I know, I know,” you grumbled, tearing your eyes away from his and taking a step back. “It was loud and annoying and don’t I have respect for anyone else on the street?” Your voice was mocking, even through the sigh you let out as you scrubbed your face with your hands. “Please, can we save the lecture for later? I just really need some coffee.”

Michael didn’t say anything, just listened as you rambled. With a small smile, he held his arm out to gesture you forward, resting his other hand on the small of your back as you walked with him towards his coffee shop. 

“Are you sure you’ll be able to make it home okay?” Michael asked, all earlier signs of annoyance at the loud music coming from your club gone as he left you propped up again the customer side of the counter to go around and make your drink. 

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him through a yawn, waving him off. “I just need some caffeine.”

You let your eyes droop as you waited for your coffee, and before you knew it you were being ushered towards the table closest to the counter. Trying to shrug Michael off and ensuring him that you were fine was a waste of your time and energy as he refused to let you go until you were safely in your seat. 

“You were asleep on your feet,” he told you, voice low as if to let you rest. “At least sit here for a while and drink your coffee before you head home.” 

“Whatever you say, gramps,” you muttered through yet another yawn, bringing the coffee cup he placed in front of you to your lips. He laughed, shaking his head before walking back behind the counter again. 

As he worked, your eyes were focused solely on him. He was dressed almost too well yet again, but you thought it suited him. Despite the jokes about his wardrobe, it was hard for you to picture him in anything else. You watched, distracted, as the muscles in his arms flexed when he wiped the counter down. Vaguely, your brain registered the music playing softly over the speakers before your head hit your arms crossed on the table and you were fast asleep. 

---

“Your coffee’s cold,” came a teasing voice from above you coupled with a fresh cup of coffee being placed in front of you. 

With a groan, you sat up, wincing at the crick in your neck. “How long was I out?” Your eyes were bleary and you knew you could fall back asleep in just a moment, but the coffee had your full attention. 

“Just an hour,” Michael assured you, sitting down across from you. “I thought it’d be best if I let you rest here so I wouldn’t find you laid out on the sidewalk later.”

“Oh, I bet that was great for your business. A person half dead on the table, what a conversation starter.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s been a slow morning.”

“Well, thanks for the coffee and the nap,” you smiled, standing up and grabbing your coffee from the table. “But I really should get home.”

“See you tomorrow?” Michael asked, standing up as well to move back behind the counter.

“Tomorrow,” you nodded, heading out the door.

---

Over the next few weeks, you and Michael settled into a nice routine. Now, when it was a little too loud over at the club in the wee hours of the morning, Michael would try his hardest to maintain his disappointed glare, and your grumbled “whatever, grandpa” as you snatched the coffee cup from his hand turned his glare to a warm smile. You liked it, you admitted to yourself, liked the fact that he was so warm and inviting. The anger and annoyance you felt towards him at first was melting just as fast as his own was towards you, and you were glad for it. 

He had taken to showing up to the coffee shop earlier than usual, making sure he was open when you were heading home. And on days when you were at the club late, he’d bring your coffee to you. Of course, that never stopped you from stopping into the shop later when you were on your way home for another cup of coffee and just a moment of reprieve in his company. 

It was working out great for you, this friendship with Michael. And despite its rocky beginnings, it was really flourishing. Already, you were too used to his presence in your life everyday, the warmth in his eyes when he handed you a cup of coffee or saw you off on your way home to think about your life being any other way. 

And though you didn’t think of yourself as the pessimistic type, waiting for the other shoe to drop, you weren’t altogether surprised when things suddenly went south. 

It happened out of nowhere. You were standing outside the club, talking to an old friend who had come by to play that night. Elias was talking animatedly with his hands, his guitar case slowing him down only slightly. He told you all about his upcoming tour, how he would be gone for six months. You wrapped him up in a hug, telling him how proud of him you were. He had been your best friend for years, always trying to make it in the music industry, and it seemed like he was finally living his dream. 

But over his shoulder, you saw the coffee shop’s  lights go out, the sign flip to closed, and you were distracted as Elias finally walked away. You wanted to go check on Michael, see if everything was okay but there was a voice telling you not to, that it’d be more trouble than you could deal with right now, so you left. 

And when Michael’s face haunted your dreams that morning as you slept, you managed to push it aside. At least for now.

---

All those weeks of camaraderie, of spending as much time as you could with Michael in the mornings before you had to go home and get some rest, all of them ended up meaning, apparently,  nothing. Or as close to nothing as they could get. 

You knew Michael was in the coffee shop, despite the sign always being flipped to ‘closed’ on your way home in the mornings. He never came down to the club, either, instead ensuring that the distance he created between the two of you was upheld. 

After weeks of the silent treatment, of pretending that you didn’t miss seeing Michael everyday, making fun of him for his always meticulously coordinated suits, you put a plan into motion. You had a record of every musical act that performed for you, and if you thought about them hard enough, you could remember which of them were truly raucous, which ones could bring Michael out of the hiding he’d sentenced himself to. So you set about making calls, filling the club’s schedule up with the rowdiest musicians you had ever hired. 

It only took five days to get his attention. 

You invited the band from the first day you met him to come back, preparing yourself for the headache that was sure to come from their presence. Even still, a headache was a small price to pay if it got Michael to speak to you again. You missed him, which was strange enough for you in its own right, but you wouldn’t be the one to bridge the gap. If he wanted to act like a child, well, you knew how to play that game. 

The night had wound down, the band still on stage, drunk and loud with their instruments. As a drum fill filled the air followed by feedback on the speakers, you held back a groan. But when someone pounded on the door, the grimace on your face turned to a grin. 

“Do you know how late it is?” His words were out before you’d even opened the door fully, his eyes cold as he glared at you. 

“I don’t know, grandpa, but I’m sure you could tell me.” This was the most annoyed you’d ever seen him, and you couldn’t hide the smile on your face. He had played right into your hands. 

“Could you just once be mindful of the way your actions affect others?”

“Oooohhh, like you’ve been these past few weeks?” The words were biting, despite the cheeky smile on your face as you locked eyes with Michael, tilting your head to the side just slightly.

The silence stretched between the two of you for longer than you were technically comfortable with, when there was a crash from inside the club. With a sigh, you turned your back on Michael and walked inside, finding two of the members on the ground, laughing as a third attempted to pull them up. “Alright, guys, I think it’s time for you to head home.”

They filed out, thanking you for bringing them back and letting you know their schedule was clear if you needed them again, and then it was silent inside and you were alone. You were sure Michael had made his way back to the coffee shop, content with pretending you were never friends, like you were just some annoying stranger down the street. 

With a sigh, you grabbed your things and headed for the door, ready to go home. What you didn’t expect was to see Michael, once again standing outside your door, this time with a coffee in hand. 

“I think we should talk,” is all he said, reaching out to hand you the cup. 

Silently, you grabbed the coffee from him and ushered him to follow you back inside the club. You made a beeline for the bar, setting your stuff down and slouching onto a stool. 

“Well?” You said, finally, after the silence had stretched on between the two of you. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Michael standing near the door, hands in the pockets of his slacks. 

“I saw you with your boyfriend a few weeks back,” he said suddenly, eyes roaming the club but refusing to look at you. “And I - well, it doesn’t matter.”

“My boyfriend?” You laughed, shaking your head at him. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Michael’s eyes darted toward your own for just a moment before moving away again. “Oh.”

“Is that what this was all about? You shut me out because you thought I had a boyfriend?” You were off the stool before you could think twice about it, walking over to him, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Why?”

Michael closed his eyes, his head falling back slightly as he sighed. “I think you know why. Not that it matters, it’s inappropriate. I’m much too old for you.”

“Yeah, okay, grandpa. You’re acting like you’re in your 80’s, like you’re about to be put in a nursing home,” you rolled your eyes at his dramatics, stepping even closer to him. “And you’re so incredibly dense.”

And then your hand fisted in his tie, pulling him closer so you could press your lips to his. His hands were out of his pockets in a flash, settling on your hips and pulling you closer to him. 

When he finally pulled back moments later, his eyes were closed and his breathing was slightly labored. “Come on, I’ll let you make me another coffee and you can tell me all about how enamored you are with me.”

“As if the free coffee doesn’t tell you enough?” He quirked an eyebrow at you, waiting as you gathered your things and the two of you walked out of the club. 

“I mean, it’s a start.”

[tickle-me-stoked]

Mornings Don’t Always Suck

Words: 1457

Characters: Virgil focus, Roman, Logan, and a bit of Patton.

Relationships: Any you want, but it was platonic in my head :3

Warnings: tickling, minor embarrassment, partial nudity (boy loses shirt whoops), sleepiness, restraint (he’s held down), playful use of the term ‘queer’, and I think that’s it :P

A/N: This is my first tickle fic!! I hope you all like it!!

Tagging: @cefsticklestoo 😊

It was too late to try. Virgil had yet to sleep a wink and it was already nearing eight in the morning. He groaned and snatched his currently charging phone up, checking for any notifications from his apps. Nothing. He’d only checked it a half hour ago anyway. Rolling to a sit, Virgil ruffled his hair back into place and made his way downstairs.

He noted first Patton at the dining table, always able to feel his best whether he managed to sleep much or not. Then there was Roman in the kitchen, putting together ingredients to make breakfast. He had an alarm set for 7am each day of the week; he said it kept his complexion at its best. And Logan was absent, always second to last in waking up as it took his brain longer to process his surroundings when half asleep.

“Virgil!” Roman called, thrilled to see the other side so soon. “Do you want pancakes for breakfast? Now that three of the four of us are here, I can start cooking!”

“Yeah, sure, Roman, go ahead.” He muttered, taking a seat next to Patton. He put his head on his arms and pulled out his phone. Patton had yet to greet him.

“Virgil,” he said instead, an accusatory tone to his voice. “How much did you sleep?” Virgil, slowly looked over to the fatherly trait, a single eyebrow raised.

“Okay, random, um. I,I didn’t-- how, how could you even tell?” Patton sighed and leaned forward on the table. The two hardly acknowledged the last of their group walk past to the kitchen.

“Well, for starters, you beat Logan to the table. Secondly, you didn’t even grab any coffee. Third, you’re in the same clothes from yesterday!” Virgil looked down and noticed it was all true. Logan was at the counter, drinking the coffee that he neglected to grab for himself and he had, in fact, not changed his clothes since the previous day. He groaned.

“Alright, yeah, you got me.” He dropped his head back to the table and stared ahead at nothing. A few moments passed, and Logan and Roman began to carry in their food and get the table all set with what they needed: sliced fruits, spreads, and drinks to accommodate their meal.

The group ate their breakfast as normal, Roman doing most of the talking, specifically about dreams he’d had and ideas they’d given him, with the others adding in their input and commentary as necessary. Virgil cleaned his dishes and helped the others with the rest. Just as he was headed for the stairs to try and relax some, Logan took his hand.

“Virgil, I’d like to try something, if you’d be willing to help me out?” He asked, looking slightly hopeful and… giddy? Virgil, furrowed his brows and agreed, really just to put off trying to sleep some more. “Great. Okay, take off your shirt and lay on the floor.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Logan blinked.

“It’s just, it’s easier that way. For this to work, it’s best to have minimal obstacles.” Virgil took a deep breath and did as he asked, not feeling very anxious at the moment. Instead, he felt rather calm and was willing, excited even, to do things with the others. Even if ‘others’ meant only one ‘other’. Perhaps Roman and Patton would join in a bit. Who knows?

VIrgil removed his sweater and his long-sleeve, and lay on his back on the floor, folding his arms across his chest.

“Okay, I’m cold and exposed. Now what?” Logan knelt beside him, wearing a content smile.

“Close your eyes.” Virgil glared. “I promise not to do anything queer.” The halfnaked man on the ground shut his eyes and muttered under his breath.

“You’re queer.” He felt Logan reach for and grab his arms, gently moving them down to his sides. The calm touches already made him feel more relaxed.

A sudden tingle slashed through his stomach, causing him to jolt and sputter, rolling to the side and covering the spot that got shocked.

“Whoa, hey, what was that for?!”

“Virgil, I promise you, it’s fine. It’s just part of the test.”

“Yeah, one to make me squeal like a child?” Virgil sat up and guarded his midsection. “Jeez, ask a guy if he’s ticklish first next time.” The last thing Virgil needed on zero sleep was someone finding out his weakness and proceeding to use it against him.

“Are you ticklish?”

“Obviously!”

“Ladies, ladies, what is happening here?” Roman interrupted, standing behind VIrgil with his hands on his hips.

“Perfect! Roman, could you lend me a hand?” Logan said, beaming, his one hand flapping outwardly. Roman turned his gaze to Logan, curiosity taking hold. “Could you hold his arms for me? Gently, though.”

“What? No!” Virgil moved to his feet to try and escape the situation. However, Roman took his chance and snagged the emo, trapping his arms at his sides. Roman linked his hands together, keeping Virgil entirely stuck. “Roman, I swear to goOHOHOHOHOD!” His voice raised into a cry as his stomach was prodded again, this time at a quicker rate. “STOP STOP STAHAHAHAHAP AHAHAHAHA!” He squealed, laughing and kicking and tensing. “WHAHAHAHAHY?”

“Why?” Logan said, speaking loudly for Virgil to hear over his own hysterics. Logan took his hands back for a minute, giving him a break to not overwhelm him. “Because. It’s all part of the test.”

What tehehest? What’s this for?” While he seemed upset before the tickling had officially started, he continued to smile even when he stopped giggling. He rested his weight against Roman, but his feet continued to move, the sudden adrenaline leading an outlet.

“I’ve read that being tickled can tire a person out, enough so that they’re able to fall asleep soon after. So? Did it work?”

“I’m not sure that was nearly enough tickling, my brainiac,” Roman cut in, smirking down at the side in his arms. “He seems to still have some energy.” Logan nodded. Virgil dropped his head backwards onto Roman’s shoulder, feigning defeat. “Wow, not even fighting it anymore? If I didn’t know better, I would assume you don’t mind this experiment thing.” Virgil’s head flew back upright.

“What gives you that idea?!” Their eyes turned to logical trait.

“Do you wish that I stop? We can call it off here, if you would prefer.” Virgil found himself between a rock and a hard place. He could keep up his deniability and agree to be let go, or he could admit to liking being tickled and have both fun and maybe even get some decent sleep. However, his hesitancy to respond gave the two enough of an answer.

Without another word Logan reached back up, this time dragging light finger-touches across the neck, beneath the jaw and down to the shoulder. VIrgil squirmed and huffed, trying to catch the hands under his head in reaction to stop the sensations. He squeaked as it failed, the hands trailing down to his collarbone, then to his pectorals, and scratching across his ribs. His body twisted as much as it could in Roman’s grasp. Logan’s tickling increased as the creative aspect began to blow on his skin, the breeze blowing against the hairs on his neck. He let out giggles and gasps, squirming and kicking lightly.

“So he likes it!” Roman cheered, genuinely happy with the discovery. Virgil felt the sudden want to disappear.

“I dohoho nohohohohot!” He said, unable to contain himself in the slightest. He was also sure that lying would be no use, but his instinct was to protect this not-so-secret secret for as long as possible.

Logan, however, decided that it was enough for now and let the soft tickles drift into nothing, Roman following his lead. Virgil slowly stood back up, wiping his eyes and rubbing against the remaining sensations, still chuckling lightly.

“So, Virgil?” Roman teased, leaning in and resting his chin on the lee’s shoulder. “You like to be tickled, hm?” Virgil’s face tinted red as he looked sheepishly the other way.

“It’s, I mean, I wouldn’t, I, I wouldn’t exactly, um,”

“Ha! That’s great, Virge!” Roman threw his arms around him and nuzzled his face with his own.

“Yeah, yeah, get off me.” Virgil felt as though he would regret it later, but at the moment, he wasn’t too self-conscious.

“How do you feel, Virgil?” Logan said, smiling in a kindhearted way.

“I’m a little more tired now, but it was still, it was still kinda, kinda fun. Thanks, Lo—“

“VIRGIL!” And with a shout, Virgil found himself lying on the ground, a giddy Patton over him, and beginning to laugh his ass off as he was tickled, this time mercilessly, by the fatherly trait.

[bossclubbanks]

2020: Year In Review

Oh baby, let’s open this can of worms.

I probably should start off with the cliché. 2020? You were absolutely atrocious for so many people. Fuck you and eat my ass for that. The fact that it went from a small fire, to a raging inferno, to a whirlwind of shit and suffering for so many. So, let me just get it off my chest; I am so glad that you’re gone and in the past. Please, just let us unite and be peaceful with one another. Fix the wrongs, heal the wounds... all that shit.

Now that the cringe is out of the way. Let’s do this little journal entry.

Oh journal, how I’ve got things to write into you today. Don’t complain, it’s your one function as a journal. Now, let’s go with work. WWE is an ever increasingly powerful machine that can chew you up and spit you out before you even realize what the hell happened. I personally had... one of the best years I can recall professionally. I got to wrestle at ‘Mania again. I won the Raw, Tag-Team, and SmackDown Women’s titles. And I got to have my third favorite match I’ve ever worked with someone I adore more than anything. And yes, I do mean the cell match. Things have been not without forks in the road though. I have gotten a lot better at harnessing my feelings of doubt, anger and frustration and using them more constructively. The fact that the world seems to be doing everything backwards is a truly draining and difficult thing to deal with. Of course I would love to be doing more. I wanna be working every single night against someone new, someone old, someone who doesn’t feel like they’ve gotten a fair shake. I wanna wrestle Leah again, looks like I’m getting that. I want to wrestle Bianca. I want to, above all else, main event WrestleMania with Pam. 2021? Give me this, and I can ride off into the sunset that happiest person who has ever lived. To sum it up; 2020 wasn’t a horrible year for me professionally. Oh, and let’s not forget I’m in The Mandalorian! Aka one of the coolest out-of-the-ring things I’ve ever had the opportunity to do. I’m still not used to even saying it out loud. No matter how many times I plug it.

Now let’s just.. do this shit. Socially I have gotten so much worse with things. I don’t thing I’ve felt more isolated and confused as I have over the last twelve months. I can’t put my finger on what the hell happened. Feels like the connections I have are either strained or drained. I can’t even say that any close friends, best friends.. I can’t say if that’s even going well. If I were to try and count how many times I’ve typed up random text messages at random times of the day or night and just... deleted it? It would be in the hundreds. Easily. In fact, the crazy thing is that I truly just don’t text some of my closest friends anymore. I find myself quieter backstage and just sticking to myself. People always come up with questions, which I’m more than happy to answer and try my absolute best to aid with. But, seeking out? Reaching out? No. I somehow lost that along the way. What do I want in 2021? I want to be able to reach out to my closest friends without feeling like I do nothing more than annoy the piss out of them. I want to be able to spread my wings and just fly socially. Typical, maybe. But it’s something I crave and need to fulfill in my life again. And don’t even get me started on romance. Romantically I’m stuck between I don’t deserve anyone and I would love to have my bed shared. That dream crashed and sunk a super fuckin’ long time ago. So.. hey, hit a bitch up sometime.

Last thing I need to review is my health. Let’s start with physical. Why? I dunno, just felt like it. Well, for starters, I’m in the best shape of my life to end the year and start 2021. I have abs now in places that I didn’t think abs could come from. I feel stronger, healthier and more prepared for anything that life throws at me. That is with the exception of one very specific thing. I still am unable to conceive. Absolutely no progress has been made on figuring out what my options are. In fact, I have an appointment on the 18th and this is the last one. Either I sink or I swim. I’ve done everything I can, seen all kinds of specialists who all have a confused look on their face as to why I’m even paying them. According to them, I have no chance of ever having my own baby. I don’t want to believe that. I can’t fucking believe that. There’s one more opinion I’m getting soon... let’s cross our collective fingers. Emotional health. Or mental health. Whatever you’d prefer to call it. Um, it’s still in the same state it was in last year. I have some coping mechanisms that I utilize on the daily just to get from sun up to sun down. Still managing my bipolar, depression and anxiety issues every day. Some days are harder than others. Feels like that cloud doesn’t wanna just go away and leave me alone. I haven’t been sleeping great as of late. Struggling to get to bed and struggling harder to get out of bed. I don’t know if that’s insomnia or if that’s just everything else on my mind all bombarding my brain and heart at the same time. Either or I hate it and am going to do all I can to stop it. I’m doing.. okay in regards to my mental health I suppose. Things haven’t been really bad since last April and I’m blessed for that. Every day is a work-in-progress and I don’t think the battle is won in a day. In fact no, it isn’t won in a day. 

So... here we are. The year from hell is over. 2021 is here and it’s here for... well... a year. I want to do more for people around me. I don’t know why my brain just goes all haywire and decides to convince myself things are the way they are when in fact they’re absolutely not. Perhaps it’s right. Perhaps not. I’m going to work on myself socially and try to be... more out there? If that makes sense. Maintaining my physical and mental stability is above all else the single most important thing. If last year was the gauntlet, hopefully this year is the reward for being drug through the dirt. I’m extending the olive branch more officially than I ever have before. If anyone needs someone to vent to, open up to, cry with, do whatever; I’m here for you; Text me, call me, grab me backstage. I don’t give a damn what I’m doing. I’ve got time if you need someone. Oh, and last thing for what I wanna do with this title? I wanna hold it for 381 days (;

@workedshootrpg

[vxndictive]

I’m back... Sort of

//So uh... Hi. After a couple of days away from everything tumblr related i managed to return with a bit of a fresh mind and new ideas, and this post that i hope doesn’t drag on for too long will serve as an explanation as to why i decided to take this hiatus, and what my plans going forward are. If you decide to sit through it all then hey, thank you, i’m glad you’re still here and i hope we can still talk and interact if you’re interested on doing so.

“So... What happened?”

“An absurd amount of stress and anxiety” is what happened. Basically since last week i’ve been having some extremely negative thoughts about self-hatred and just feeling i wasn’t good enough for anything, to the point where it was hard to even get out of my bed to eat (the mun lives on her own, she has no roommates or family that lives on the same home). I was in a very dark place. It doesn’t help that i also tend to have a lot of trouble opening up to others about my problems: If you knowing i’m not well also makes you feel bad, then i’d honestly prefer to just suck it up and endure everything on my own; which i know is a very toxic way to cope and only ends up making the problem worse in the long run. It doesn’t get anyone anywhere. In the last few days i’ve managed to recover though, and i feel like i’m in a better spot than i was before.

“Are you okay?”

Yes. As i mentioned before, it has happened before and it’ll continue happening. It’s a cycle i’ve unfortunately gotten used to over the years.

“Would you like to talk?”

The thought is appreciated if you want to, i won’t force anyone to listen to my problems but if you want to just catch up with me regardless, or just to talk about unrelated stuff you can just shoot me a DM in either tumblr or Discord.

“Speaking of Discord, can i add you?”

Sure, if we’re mutuals just ask me and i’ll be more than happy to give it to you.

“What’s your plan going forward?”

I decided to set myself a couple of goals that i’ll try to accomplish one at a time during my return.

Improve my formatting.

As i’m sure you noticed, i started using icons for mun stuff and begun implementing small text too. I do want to make things look fancier, even though it’s honestly kind of a chore sometimes. As for muse icons... I’ll see what i can do about that. Thankfully PSO2 is giving me a good outlet for in-game screencaps for Flayn.

Increase my interactions.

It’s no secret that my interactions plumetted in the weeks approaching my break. I want to remedy this, either by sharing more prompts or by approaching other blogs for starters. I don’t want to be a blog that only does memes and 4fun stuff when i have a muse that’s also good for more serious stuff, so i’ll probably be going around sending prompts to people i still haven’t tried to interact with. Of course, all my old stuff is still open if you want to send something in.

Starter calls and mains call.

I’ll be doing these again. Someone might still be interested but i’ll try to cut down the posts needed so i don’t end up clogging my followers’ dashes.

Rework some AUs

I’ll be honest: I’m not very satisfied with some of the AUs i have up yet. Mainly: Spirit Blossom in particular. It was rushed, and made just to quickly cash in on the hype. I’m likely going to revamp this one AU from scratch and go back to the Duality theme i had in mind before, you’ll see it when it’s done. The other AU that will receive some slight changes is Modern, but nothing too drastic will be done to that one. Instead of being an aspiring musician, Flayn will be an aspiring writer and artist instead. I feel that if i wanted to do musical stuff, i could just stick to Rap Devil instead of making a redundant AU.

“Will you be dropping any threads?”

I’ll be honest here: I don’t know. There are a lot of pending threads i’ve been laying off for months, and i have no idea if i’d still have the muse to answer them. I’d have to check individually. If i don’t, then i’ll let you know so we can plan another interaction if you still want to do so. I said several times that i have no problems with starting over if a thread doesn’t work out, so i hope we can reach an understanding over this if that’s the case with one we had.

That would be most of what i had to say. If you’re still here, then hey. I can’t really say anything other than “thank you”, i don’t expect anyone to care about what some random stranger on the internet has to say but i appreciate you still being here regardless. I know i’ve been very sporadic on my activity and i often just don’t reply to stuff, but i will also work hard to change that. I enjoy being part of this community, and i’ve met a lot of nice people during my stay. I truly want to make this a good experience, not just to you, but for all of my writing partners as well. 

And this is just the beginning. I also plan to make a small event for next month in Halloween, which also doubles as Flayn’s birthday as some of you are probably aware. But that’s still on early planning. I’ll let you know more when that’s more set in stone.

Again, thank you very much for your time. I appreciate it a lot if you want to stay here and write with me regardless of everything, and i hope we can talk again very soon.

-Damsel.

[fcarher]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: slug / ellie     Age: 19       Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Yunaeisha Adynora, other demons from my lore Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Yunaeisha Current Fandom(s): None really  Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Naruto, PKMN, Magi, Gangsta, OPM, MHA, Hazbin Hotel & currently working on an ATLA verse My language(s): german, polish, italian, english   Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: highschool, modern & fantasy/medieval

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: the best way is just to straight up approach me. most often than not, just liking a post is not enough because it’s too vague ?? like if i post an idea & you like that, i’ll still be hesitant when it comes to roleplaying or approaching you because, while i appreciate such gestures, i’m just too anxious. therefore, plopping into my IMs without a properly fleshed out idea is also fine ! it, at least, gives me the hint that you’re actively seeking interaction. however, just saying “i want to roleplay & plot !” won’t cut it; at least, have something in mind, please !

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  basic ideas & pouring their heart into plotting! i don’t mind waiting, at all, so if you’re busy, don’t worry about keeping me waiting; i completely understand since i’m also often busy with work or university. but !! please don’t only come to me with the statement: “i want to plot!” it’s not gonna cut it & it’s not gonna help with a proper interaction, at all. if i approach someone, most often than not, i have SOME sort of idea in mind. but yeah, being passionate is the most important thing!

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  most often than not, the conversation will die down because i will loose motivation; i don’t like it because i’ll feel like a bother & i shouldn’t feel that way when it comes to a hobby! therefore, one-sided plotting is one of my deal breakers; i usually end the conversation & there will be little to no interaction happening. like i said; i don’t mind waiting, i just hate that feeling of coming on TOO strong when my plotting partner delivers no input. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  often than not, i start off with rather simple question like; are you interested in a certain verse ? do you already have something in mind ? if not, i will go through their about page & ask them things about their character & how that could possibly bring our characters to interact. sometimes, the about pages of a muse cannot give you every single bit of information; muses grow & change with each thread, therefore, it’s often better to just ask the people about their characters ! & from then on, it often just comes naturally. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread is not THAT important or vital for our character’s relationship; i don’t mind & won’t need to know if the thread is dropped. sometimes, if it’s a heavily plotted thread & i’ve anticipated the interaction a lot; i’d appreciate a quick heads-up from my partner that they’re not feeling that certain thread any longer; i don’t mind that !! - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: they don’t need to tell me; SOMETIMES, it’s just a nice gesture but most of the time, i don’t care, we can always start another thread !!

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  many things can lead to me dropping a thread; just losing motivation, having no muse for a certain genre or simply having the feeling that my partner is not liking it, any longer (ex. extreme lack of trying to match the reply length ). my health & my schedule can also, sadly, affect my motivation, so, more often than not, i tend to drop shorter threads & keep longer ones.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  i get anxious really fast if people stop replying for a very long time, out of the blue. it has happened to me once before with a good friend with whom i have no contact with any longer due to miscommunication & them not trying to communicate the issue with me; therefore, yes, it is very important. i wanna know if something is bothering you; i wanna know if you like something very much; i wanna know what’s up ! we’re humans & we’re adults; we can talk about this.  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  yes ! as long as it is constructive criticism & not straight-up bashing my characters or lore; i’m all for it. i don’t mind hearing negative things; in fact, i appreciate the honesty & it gives me room to work on myself & my writing ! - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  building relationships that LAST & exploring my muses through & through; it is amazing how much yuna has grown through interactions with others; how different she has become from the yuna i once started out with; it’s almost been a year now & it’s just amazing. however, i’m not stopping anytime soon; THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO EXPLORE !! the ultimate goal is for me to just look at my blog & be completely proud of what i have accomplished & written; i want fleshed out relationships & threads; deep stuff !!

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  yuna talking with someone about her struggles; mentally & physically. being open about her abusive father & how it has traumatized her & painted men in the worst picture one could imagine. HOWEVER; a hard thing because i don’t want these things to be pre-est or something; i want a thread where there is struggling, screams, conflict ! it is rather hard to find someone, though, who is willing & fitting to go onto that long journey with me & yuna. also, i’d love to write about darker stuff; i love fluff, though, sometimes i sure want a bit of that, too. 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  the only things i won’t rp or explore are stated in my rules; ex. pedophilia, rape & really descriptive animal abuse. killing, torture, gore as well as cheating, heartbreak or toxic relationships are okay, while i do prefer to have a deeper bond with someone while exploring the latter & be communicating the whole time; i think these are really REAL topics & that’s why i wouldn’t mind exploring them because it does happen, more than one would like them to happen. however, if i see you, the mun, glorifying or romanticizing these; just no. 

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: i like everything with some sort of substance; i love short ones as much as long ones, nevertheless, you have to give me something to work with. yuna would ignore anyone not of any interest or value to her; therefore, if your muse just asks her random questions, the interaction will go nowhere. if you’re unsure; just ask !!

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: i love characters with uniqueness to them; it can be a certain interest, certain appearance or their species can be totally unique to them; i’ll love it ! i do have a thing for villains, though; always had, even when i was young 8^) so, dark, stubborn & “evil” characters catch my interest far more than a really nice muse who just is all smiles all day. i love a muse that can kick mine & yuna’s ass, basically. someone with strong morals or who is just really set on their beliefs can also offer conflict which i ADORE !! i need it; i live for it !!

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  really kind & unbothered muses who are self-sacrificing, perfect & loved by everyone for no reason ?? idk, i just think it’s bad writing. everyone has flaws; no one is perfect ! 

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  i am a very open person who will talk with you about anything & is keen on exploring our character’s relationship at all times & through all means; i often send my rp partners prompts in form of my yuna just being her dumb-self or through memes ! i will constantly think about our characters & will try to have them interact as much as possible. i am, most of the time, very active & respond to the threads fairly quickly ! if i am totally invested; you’ll get everything you want; a moodboard, an edit, a drawing, etc. i literally pour my heart & soul into every bond my muse has; i live for them. oh !! i also love asking people question about their characters; i just love learning new things about them !! 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: i’m very slow out of character; i don’t approach muns a lot because i’m scared to be a bother, working on it ! i often ramble a lot & my writing can become a bit convoluted & hard to understand, i apologize ! i tend to not message people on discord as often as i’d like to; mostly because i’m really socially awkward or just don’t think that what i want to show to them is THAT important. i’m not as straight-forward as i wish myself to be; however, even with all that; i still have a lot of fun & am acknowledging & actively working on my weak aspects ! 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  often, it is because i want to develop the relationship or yuna’s character; she’s a very sexual being who hardly connects to someone emotionally; therefore, writing sex & exploring the vulnerability behind it can be really beautiful ! though, fun is also involved !  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  non-consensual stuff is a no-go ! also, certain kinks that make me uncomfortable are also off the table; ex. anything involving bodily fluids other than spit. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  i love the conflicts the most; clashing ideals or just two stubborn muses arguing for the heck of it is really fun & can develop the relationship beautifully ! yuna is a person who likes someone that can be properly fought with, verbally here. but of course, i also adore the very soft moments!! i love meaningless fluff; it warms my heart.  - What is your smut tag?: SINFUL.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: nothing TOO drastic; a friendship, a rivalry is a-okay ! however, i’m very hesitant when it comes to having pre-est. romantic relationships; though, you can quickly change my mind if you pour your soul into the plotting; then i’m fine with it ! everything that needs time when writing also needs time when plotting; don’t just straight up jump into something if you’re not able to give it your all.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  i think yuna is a person with whom it is easy to form relationships with; it takes a bit of time but due to her rather drastic ideals & opinions; anything can be founded within seconds. she doesn’t hold back when it comes to her honesty & conflicts will arise. also, for all muses with demonic or deity backgrounds; being a daughter of the literal queen of hell, though, also harboring fragments of a god’s soul makes her unique in the supernatural world which can spark interest with your character or even they can develop an ill-will towards her ? i think it’s really interesting exploring what makes one work & go on & yuna has the philosophical potential to tickle that out of your muse; she question EVERYTHING. now for certain plots; one-sided love or even friendships are always really interesting, especially when she is the one having such feelings. other than that; she has enormous & dangerous powers; so if you’re into character or world-building; can offer that as well !

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:  humans; she doesn’t approach humans who are just kind & have nothing to offer for her, the least she’d do is have sex with them or kill them to harvest their life energy. i’m sorry but she really does hate all of humanity & to change that opinion ? man, you must be the most stubborn person ever.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  characters who are of supernatural or demonic nature; she’ll be very interested & even nosy to a point. also, very attractive characters who are not afraid to speak their mind; she’s really superficial most of the time & will flirt with anything that she deems good-looking. muses who have ideals that contrast hers or that are similar to her but also, generally, people who are open-minded. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  sex, parties, plants & flowers, astronomy, writing, demons & hell, the underground scene, killing, knives & playing the piano - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the questions that bother her the most are; why did her mother had to die ? why would nobody help her while she was being abused by her father ? why was she kept alive by her sisters ? is there love out there for someone like her ? what do these strange visions mean that occur almost every night ? she has a lot of things she wants to experience & wishes to have a normal life once she has killed her other mother, lilith, which is her ultimate goal, at the moment.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  their appearance; the scent of their blood & if it differs from humans; how they react towards her & what they do in front of her.  - What do they value in a person?:    strong opinions, loyalty, good looks, humor, strength (not limited to physical strength) - What themes do they like talking about?:  herself or the world & the state of it; she likes being philosophical with some, can often be somewhat self-centered; THOUGH; it is almost always for her to see how they would react to that. 

- Which themes bore them?:  love & drama; she does not care a lot for gossip or anything relating to it; the topic of love, no matter in which sense, is always brushed off because she just doesn’t find any appeal in it. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  Being the reason her own mother committed suicide; Her father & sister abusing her all her life, spouting lies & beating her until she could stand no more while her other sisters would watch & do nothing, even though, they were supposed to support each other; laewa, one of her sisters, fancying the idea of killing yuna for the greater good; two of her best friends turning on her when they find out she’s not human & then being killed right in front of her eyes; her one & only boyfriend protecting her from a demon hunter & being killed in the process - What could possibly trigger them?:  loud sudden noises; making fun of her attachment to her late ex-boyfriend, being awfully nice to her, the sight of any dog or wolf, tender touches (esp. her back being touched), being alone with her thoughts for far too long  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  people who make fun of her & her powers; calling her a monster; not understanding her pain when she opens up; purposefully touching her back or any other scarred skin, being nosy  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  you are a demon hunter that does not show remorse when killing demons with a consciousness, trying to kill her, killing one of her comrades 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Keela Adynora, Myra Adynora (Father, Sister), the other D.O.L.s, EYES’ superiors (the organization she works for), Humans, Lilith - Is there someone /-thing they love?:  Evelin Adynora (Her biological mother)

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: If you’re not quite human or are a demon, you could literally stand next to her & be silent; she’ll become curious on her own. other than that; be interesting or flirt with her; just do something that does not involve small talk; she hates that.  - Where are they usually to find?:  strip club (her workplace), bars, clubs, clearings within a forest, nice areas that are full of trees & plants; a roof-top

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Yuna is basically pandora’s box personified; she may seem nice & attractive from the outside but within her are sleeping demons that only wait to be awakened. & withal, she is still a cutie who will become your number one supporter & protector if you manage to build a proper relationship with. it’s hard to get through that shell & what awaits is NOT that pretty but with years upon years of abuse, neglect & shit being thrown her way; it’s not easy being a carefree immortal. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @skyvar , i srsly love these so much, snow !! thank you for tagging me <3 i had so much fun 8′)  Tagging:  @thevvolf ; @nezumi-vc-103221 ; @empiia ; @dvojakyvlk ; @childrenxfthemoon ; @hensetsu​​ ; @goldempire​​ ; @animatedatrophy​ ; @talonness​ ; @shikkotsunin​ ; @wcrthlessanimal​ & anyone else !! 

[seungwoork]

¨    PLOT CALL ’

hello there again!! now that i can officially reveal myself i decided to post my plotcall-- it’s lari who also plays @rkbyunbaek​ and @rkjennie​ 😊 for plotting and talking you can find me @snailqueens on twitter, feel free to follow!! otherwise here is my plot page for everyone who wants to check it out. finally!!!! wooo!!!!

i’d like to get a few connections going to seungwoo to give him a good start here despite it being a slow one ksjdf so here are the options for everyone who’s up for it,

like this post for a charisma starter! please only like it if you’re interested in making a thread out of it, i’m not doing this just for points. i'd like to get connections and relationships through this.

send me an im if you’re interested in a plot i put under the cut! there are a few plot ideas under the cut with some thread and relationships ideas that i’d like to do. some plots might be similar or even copied from my plot page for those who only check this out ( because they’re some i’d rly like to be filled and / or might move them to the page later if they don’t get filled and i want to keep them jksd )

RELATIONSHIPS,

¨ something good ’       ◞ ( m / f , ) CLOSED

family. any kind of family, actually. you’re cousins but are you close? have you hardly met or do you meet all the time? as much as possible? how is your bond, able to talk about things? not getting along at all? in the end, though, you’re still family.

¨ milk & honey ’       ◞ ( m / f , ) open

you’re seungwoo’s best friend. you’ve been for ages, the apple to his pie. the straw to his berry, the smoke to his high and the one he wants to marry who know the song anyways. you’re best friends, nothing can tear you apart. you can handle seungwoo’s stupid competitions because you’re more easy-going, less uptight, share his pain with him and he can deal with everything you have on your plate -- you’re always there for each other. it just works.

¨ physical ’       ◞ ( m / f , ) open

usually, you never go the gym. you might even hate it there but lately you’ve been going to check out seungwoo while he’s there like a creep boooo with the excuse of being envious of that body rather than any other reason!!! you just want to see what he does to be this fit!! seungwoo notices and asks you if you want to work out together or need any help. like a fool, you say yes but have no idea how to the equipment works. well, this is going to be embarrassing and that’s the last thing you want to happen, looking like an idiot in front of that guy.

¨ second chance ’       ◞ ( m / f , ) open 

you used to be friends a long time ago but drifted apart during seungwoo’s service, the friendship ending with a fight after his return and change in attitude. you couldn’t deal with this.. new seungwoo that seemed so different from the friend you used to know. it’s been a while and you feel shitty for giving up on seungwoo and your friendship so easily, so you reach out to him in hopes of a chance to talk this out.

¨ ultralife ’        ◞ ( m / f ; ━━━ m prefered ) open

best friends and partners in crime. literally. you both got into a lot of trouble in high school for shoplifting but still kept each other going with dares and bets and all of that. after graduation and seungwoo’s depature to the military you both fell out of touch but recently met ech other again. did you change your ways too or will you be the bad influence in seungwoo’s life that he isn’t looking for?

¨ clementine ’       ◞ ( m / f , ) open

the first time meet seungwoo does the most logical thing, he flits with you. and now you keep meeting at the most random places -- you meet so many times that it doesn’t seem like a coincidence anymore but it is. and every time you spot each other in a crowded coffee shop or in a clothes store, at the magazine rack of a bookstore and in the back of the convenience store, seungwoo does the most logical thing, he flirts with you.

¨ going under ’       ◞ ( m / f , ━━━ has to be a trainee ) open

actually, you’re good friends. you used to be pretty close before you got signed into a company and became a trainee. seungwoo’s proud of you but envious as well, competitive as always, because you managed to accomplish something like that before him. it’s one of the reasons why he meets up with you less, cancels more often on you when you finally have some time to hang out and when you get to be with each other, things tend to get awkward sometimes.

¨ home ’        ◞ ( m / f , ) open

seungwoo’s father started dating your mom a while ago and it’s weird in every sense. while seungwoo is bitter about this for a lot of reasons ( like his father neglecting him paying attention to a woman to him even dating another woman in the first place when he was so sad about his mother’s death ) it’s a difficult situation for you for your own reasons. it’s debatable if you two get along but there’s a chance you’ll become step siblings in the future so you have to beat with each other.

PROMPTS,

we sat next to each other at the movies and you got scared during it. now you’re clinging to me because you’re too terrified to go home alone.

the only reason you visit me at home is to spend time with my cats, right?

we’re sitting next to each other on the train and i’m definitely not leaning into your personal space to peek at your phone because i thought you were sending sketchy texts!

this cat strolling around the neighbourhood hates like everyone except you apparently. i always see it nuzzling against your leg and you petting it and i’m jealous. tell me your secrets!

the walking dead binge watching! think you can make it?

you’re on your fifth cup of coffee and your hands are shaking pretty badly. i can’t take this anymore, what the hell is going on?

i can cook but you can’t, so it’s me who constantly has to feed you and make sure you own’t starve to death or drown in junk food.

we’re always fighting over the movie at movie nights. also, the popcorn.

this lesson of me learning you how to ride a skateboard is turning into a nightmare. i didn’t think you would have such a hard time staying on that board.

your attempt at flirting with me with the line ‘do you come here often’ is crushed when i tell you that i work here. uhhh, awkward.

you’re crying on a bench at the park and i’m too kind to just walk past your heartbreaking sobs. do you need a tissue?

looks like you’re in trouble, i can pretend to be your charming date.