#Those teachers don't know how it feels they don't
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Teenage Dirtbag III
Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Teen!Reader
Summary: You get a job
The mural appears on the building in the middle of the night but it's on the morning news show that moment the sun comes up.
You stubbornly ignore the screen as you stare down at your bowl of cereal, the smallest of smiles on your face as you offer a dry cornflake to little Vince, who takes it and scampers off to eat it at the other end of the table.
"I wish you wouldn't let him up there," Mapi says and you roll your eyes.
"You let Bagheera up here."
"That's different."
"Is it because he's a boy? Is that it?"
Mapi lets out a little bark of laughter for a moment before flicking you in the ear. "I'm worried he's going to fall and hurt himself."
Your kitten peers over the edge of the table after eating his cereal, little legs wiggling in preparation to leap as his half ear flicks happily.
"I think he's survived worse."
Mapi rolls her eyes, plucking Vince off the table and placing him on the floor before she makes her morning coffee.
Ingrid's the one watching the news, her brow furrowed as she listens to the report.
"Well," You say, pushing out and up from the table," I'm going to head to school. I'll see you later."
Ingrid's eyes narrow at your abrupt exit and you don't slow down enough for her to open her mouth.
The path to your school is a familiar one, a fancy private school that Ingrid probably pays an extortionate fee to send you to but is still leagues above the boarding school you used to attend in Norway.
But you've still got a blazer to wear and a shirt and tie - not even one of those clip on ones. It's a proper tie that you've got to tie everyday.
Your skateboard wheels roll over the pavement, earphones thumping with music, as you approach the building. There's a teacher at the gate and they give you a look of disapproval as you come rolling past.
"Hoodie off, Engen," They say," You know the rules."
You roll your eyes as you continue on your way, making a show of stripping off the hoodie you've got on under your blazer just as you make it through the double doors - where it goes straight back on again.
School in Spain isn't really that different to school in Norway apart from the fact that everyone's speaking Spanish.
That's not really difficult either - Spanish that is. You've already got Norwegian and English, and Spanish wasn't really too complex of a language to learn either.
Sure, you've got a bit of an accent and sometimes have to take a moment to think through your grammar but it's nothing that makes it impossible to communicate.
"Off the skateboard, Engen," Another teacher says as you ride down the corridor on your board.
"Will do," You lie through your teeth.
The speed of your skateboard is the only thing keeping you away from the gaggle of girls that follow your every move.
Back at home, Mapi thinks it's hilarious. Ingrid says it's sweet.
You think it's annoying. It's bad enough to appear in the middle of the school year and have everyone automatically know who you are. It's worse when a group of giggling girls try to follow you around all the time. You kind of just want to fade into the background.
"I thought the teacher just asked you to get off that skateboard?"
You roll to a stop in front of one of the prefects.
"I mean...they didn't exactly say when I was meant to get off the skateboard? Just that I should get off it?"
She rolls her eyes, arms crossed over her chest. "You know what they meant."
"Do you ever get tired of being so stuck up?" You ask with a cheeky grin.
"Do you ever get tired of pushing boundaries?"
You shrug. "It's part of my charm."
"Yeah, charm," She scoffs," Let's call it that. You know, I should write you up for dress code. You know you're not meant to wear hoodies to school."
"So I've been told."
"Or trainers."
"They're comfortable."
"Or leave your tie undone."
"I don't like the feeling on my neck."
"And that hairband? Black only."
"What? So I can't wear a red hair tie but you can wear pink ribbons? How's that fair?!"
"So now you're trying to fight with me about it?" She asks, the corner of her mouth twitching upwards," I really should write you up."
Your eyes narrow, nose scrunching up. "You're teasing me."
"What gave it away?"
"I hate you."
"No you don't, Engen. But I do have a note that I was meant to give you during registration. Here, you're excused after lunch. Your sisters are picking you up."
You stare down at the note from the office in your hand as she walks off with her stupid pastel pink hair ribbons.
"Hey! Mapi's not my sister!" You yell after her but she doesn't stop to argue with you about it.
You kind of wish she did.
You shake that thought away though, tucking your skateboard safely under your arm as you make your way over to registration.
School is boring like it always is, even though Ingrid's insisted on them giving you challenging work in the hope of keeping you engaged. She doesn't need to know that you're still skipping classes to hang out in the art rooms with that one eccentric art teacher that can't remember your name but does know the exact brand of spray paint that you love.
You're more than happy to sign yourself out for the day with your hood flipped up as you make your way over to Ingrid's car.
You take a glance back at the building, up to the second floor where that girl is sitting with her stupid pink ribbons, staring bored outside of the History class window.
You know she sees you and you know she sees you put your middle fingers up at her.
"Do you have to do that?" Ingrid asks as you slide into the back seat, slamming the door closed behind you. "You're going to ruin my doors."
"The club will just give you a new car," You say dismissively, plugging your phone into one of Mapi's many chargers. "So...Why am I being let out early?"
"We can't want to do something nice for you?" Ingrid hums, pulling out of the school gates and onto the road.
"Not at lunchtime on a Tuesday," You reply and Mapi snickers in the passenger seat," Don't you guys have training or something?"
"It's almost like you want to be in school," Mapi teases," We can always turn around and drive you back."
"I'm good," You say," But, you know, I haven't eaten yet. Can we grab something first?"
It's hours (and one burger) later that has Ingrid watching you from her passing exercise with Esmee.
Your white school shirt is stained with spray paint and she's ninety percent sure that it's never going to be white again. Your blazer is a heap on the floor and your hoodie sleeves are pushed up to reveal a pastel pink ribbon tied around one of your wrists.
You're totally in the zone though as you adjust your hastily made stencils and step back to review your work.
Ingrid's pretty sure someone could scream your name and you wouldn't even notice, too preoccupied with setting up base layers and a few shapes.
"How it's going?" Mapi asks," It looks..."
Well Mapi can't quite tell how it looks because it's just a bunch of colours and vague shape blobs to her.
"I think I'm going to make the focal point the Champion's League trophy," You say," And then everyone spread out around it."
Mapi tries to picture it but the vague blobs and splashes of colour look just like that to her, no hint of what you can clearly see within it. "Cool," Is all she can say in response.
"It'll look good," You reply," I promise."
"I trust you," Mapi says," I'm just a little sad that I'm clearly not seeing what you're seeing."
"Give it a few days," You promise," And it'll come together."
"I look forward to seeing it," Ingrid says as she approaches.
She's with Mapi, unable to see what you can in the splash of colour and swirls but she's seen enough of your work to know that it all starts off like this.
"Besides," Ingrid says, slipping her hand into yours," Maybe with this to work on, you won't go around tagging random buildings that make it on the news."
"You can't prove that was me," You reply, not taking your eyes off the wall in front of you," They were saying it could be Banksy or someone else trying to make a statement."
"Don't be stupid," You sister says," I can recognise your work anywhere."
#woso x reader#ingrid engen x reader#ingrid engen#mapi leon x reader#mapi leon#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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Dave Lizewski - Limerence
summary - when you and dave are paired up for an english project, he asks you a question which makes you squirm
warnings - possible stalking? idk sorry, basic fluff,
Main Masterlist Dave Lizewski Masterlist
a/n - hiya gyals, i have been trying to find more than just 3 decent dave fanfics so i jus decided to write my own, ta ta my lovelies! xx
dave lizewski x fem!reader
Limerence. Noun. Meaning: the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterised by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.
This is the feeling I get when I think of Dave Lizewski. Nobody in school cares about him at all. They don't even look at him. Which I'm glad about because that means I get him all to myself. But he never looks at me. God I just want him to look at me, notice me, speak to me, something. But i get nothing.
It still baffles me how no one has tried to ask him out before. He is absolutely beautiful. In fact, ineffable. His brown curls frame his face amazingly. His blue eyes I could look into all day. And god his voice, it could lull me to sleep effortlessly. And his humour, he makes me silently laugh every time I overhear him say something at lunch to his friends.
My friends think I'm weird for thinking he's attractive. They call him a nerd and a weirdo because he reads comic books at that little cafe every day. But that's because they don't see what I see. And it's because they don't look at him as much as I do.
I have almost every class with him, because I found out which classes he chose and switched to them. And those lessons that I needed to get higher grades for, I studied as hard as I could so that I'd be able to move to Dave's classes. My friends call me a stalker but I just want to be closer to him.
Me and my friends are sitting at our usual table which I chose because it was right behind the table Dave usually sits at. My friends never noticed, not caring about anything other than their lunch and the conversations they're having. I never listen, I just look at Dave's features and try to hear what he's talking about. I see his friend turn around to look at me then says something to Dave.
Dave then leans to the side to look at me and I immediately hide my face with a book and blush so furiously you'd mistake me for a tomato. That was fucking embarrassing, I'd been staring that long his friend pointed it out to him. Fuck.
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I was in AP English, one of the classes I had to get my grades up for. I sat a seat to the left from Dave. I don't know what Ms. Somerset was talking about because all I was doing was doodling and trying to catch glances at Dave, while trying not to be obvious at the same time. But my ears perked up when I heard about a project we'd be doing in pairs. I prayed to God or whoever is up there that I'd be paired with Dave.
"Okay, I'm going to list the people that are going to be in pairs together. First, Holly you're with George. Grace with Vanessa. Zach with Jake. Y/N with Dave..." The teachers voice faded away as soon as I heard. My prayers had been answered. Thank you God!
I turned my head to look at Dave and he was already looking at me, we both smiled at each other then turned back towards the teacher.
"The project is going to be a presentation about the analysis of any piece of literature you want to do. Do it however you want it just needs to be a PowerPoint slideshow. Now everyone go sit with your partner and begin planning your presentations." Everyone got up and joined their partner and Dave came over and sat next to me.
"I never knew you were in AP English Y/N..." He felt a bit embarrassed after admitting that. A blush creeped up onto my face, well that's a bit embarrassing.
"I changed to this class about 5 months ago, I just never talk because none of my friends are in this class." I gave him a shy smile as Ms. Somerset handed us some coloured pens and a piece of paper to make a plan.
"You're in my Chem, Bio and Physics as well now that I think about it. And my History, Computer Science and Design Tech. You're in all my classes and I never noticed you before. Except at lunch or breaks, or when we walk home the same way. Don't you live a couple blocks from me?" Fuck... What if he connects the dots? And if he does what if he thinks I'm a freak?
"I wouldn't know, sorry." I gave him an awkward laugh and looked down to the paper.
"So what piece of literature should we choose? We could do something by Jane Austen, Shakespeare, Fitzgerald, Mark Twain?" It shocked me that Dave knew all those writers, mainly because all I've seen or heard about him reading was comic books.
"I say we do Emma by Jane Austen. I've read it a hundred times and I've already analysed it anyway so we just have to put it onto the presentation." Dave agreed and we planned out our presentation for the rest of the class.
When the bell rang, I gathered all my things and exited the classroom to go home. When I was a few steps out of the classroom, I heard someone call my name. It was Dave.
"I-I thought you could have my number, so that we can arrange to meet at each other's houses to work on the project. O-or we could work on it at the library. Whatever y-you're comfortable with." My heart could practically explode. Not only was he giving me his number, he was also possibly inviting over to his house!
"Yeah that'd be great." I gave him a bright smile. "We could go back to my house now? So that we can get the project over and done with, I hate having things that aren't finished yet."
"R-right now?" His cheeks flush a light pink. His eyes dart from my eyes to everything else around us.
"Yeah, you don't have to come over if you don't want to I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Fuck, I already feel like I'm screwing it up with him.
"N-no it's fine, I just didn't think you'd want me there. But yeah, let's go now." Inside, I was practically exploding. I have never felt such happiness until now. I fucking love Ms. Somerset!
We began walking out the school when my friends saw me walking with Dave. I saw them whispering and giggling to each other.
"Hey Y/N! What are you doing with him?" I felt anger run through me, why the fuck are they taking the piss out of him?
"We have a project we need to do so he's coming over to my house after school." I fake smiled at them and as soon as I turned away from them I had a disgusted look on my face. "Sorry about them Dave."
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As we came into my house, my dad immediately came into the hall and gave me a hug. He then turned to Dave and sized him up. I could see Dave squirming so I broke the silence.
"Dad, this is Dave. We're doing a project together in English." My dad narrowed his eyes at Dave and then his eyes widened with realisation and went to shake Dave's hand.
"So you're the Dave my princess talks about all the time!" I wanted the ground to swallow me whole and get the hell away from here. I've never wanted to be thrown into space in my whole entire life.
Dave looked at me in confusion and saw my uncomfortable demeanor.
"Right we're going upstairs, love you." I then dragged myself upstairs, Dave following close behind me and I led him to my room.
I sat myself at my desk and watched Dave as he looked around my room. I had vinyl records stuck to the wall along with different posters and tapestries. Fairy lights lined the frame of my bed. I also had a little table with a record player and a shelf specifically for my favourite records.
"Your room is really nice Y/N. I like your posters and lights." I looked around my room, I never actually took notice of it in all honesty.
"Thank you. I decorated it myself, I even designed the layout of my room when my dad helped build this place." Dave looked fascinated. I don't even know why.
"That's so cool, you got to choose how your room was shaped ad everything?" It was cute how he was so excited about something as little as room design.
"Yeah, plus my room is the biggest in the house. My dad let me have it cause he said he's barely going to be in his anyways cause he's working all the time. Surprised he's actually home right now." Dave smiled at me and looked around my room before we silently began our project.
I couldn't believe that Dave fucking Lizewski was in my room! I've liked him ever since I first saw him when I moved here in Sophomore year. As he was doing his work, I couldn't help but stare. He was so beautiful. The way his curls fell on his face, the way he slightly stuck out his tongue when he was concentrating on reading something. I was so lost in staring at him I didn't even realise that he was calling my name.
"Y/N!" I shook my head to get myself out of the trance I was in, he caught me fucking staring. Great.
"Yeah?" He smiled as he shook his head at me, not in a misdemeaning way though, in a "I find it kinda cute" way.
"What exactly are we analysing from Emma?" I went to sit down next to him on my bed and read what he was reading.
"I think we should analyse how Jane Austen represents class types within all the characters and how they act towards each other." I then looked to Dave who was already looking at me.
"Your eyes are really pretty..." Why the fuck did I just say that? Out of everything to come out of my mouth that is what I say? Dave's face turns a bright shade of red.
"Th-thank you, I really like your hair..." I had purple streaks in my hair. My dad screamed at me when he saw, but he then found them actually pretty.
"Thank you, when I first dyed it my dad went ballistic. Eventually he warmed up to them." Dave smiled at me, in a way I couldn't decipher.
"Do you like me?... Y/N?" Those words make my heart stop. Fuck. He's realised. He probably found out about me switching classes just to be with him, me staring at him all the time, my friends call it an obsession.
"Where did that come from?" I chuckle, trying to play it off.
"I've heard your friends talk about it, Todd told me today that you were staring at me. So I thought I'd ask you." This was actually quite bold of him, he always just stuck to either being quiet or just talking quietly with Todd and Marty.
"You find me weird don't you?" I leaned away from him, I didn't want him to look at me. Before right now, that was all I had hoped for and now it's the last thing I want.
"No, not at all actually. I find it cute. At first I was worried you wanted to kill me or something but when I saw your face light up when Ms. Somerset paired us up I had a feeling it wasn't because you wanted to kill me." Dave chuckled slightly, he smiled with only one side of his mouth and he looked so cute doing it.
"I thought I could actually hide it, guess I can't. I do like you Dave, and I know you have a crush on Katie so it's fine we can just pretend this never-" Dave cut me off by pressing his lips against mine. At first I was completely shocked but then I kissed him back. Oh my god I'm kissing Dave Lizewski!
I cupped his cheeks and pulled him on top of me and his hand found place on my waist. He didn't kiss me roughly like a couple guys have done before. He was gentle, more caring than lustful.
We both then pulled away and Dave had a big goofy smile, he was adorable.
"I don't like Katie, I mean I used to. But that was until I started seeing you sit next to our table at lunch and see you walk down the hallways with your friends..." A billion fireworks were going off in my head. I have never been happier.
"W-would you wanna go out on a date with me?" Oh my god, he wants to go out on a date with me!
"I would love to." I had a massive grin on my face. My dreams had come true.
#kick ass#dave lizewski#aaron johnson#aaron taylor johnson#atj#dave lizewski x reader#dave lizewski fluff#david lizewski fluff#david lizewski
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Thinking about how inherently ableist the education system is......
#I cant let it go i suffered so much and for what!!!!!!#Why did i have to do double the effort that everyone else had to do#And why when i was too fed up and tired was i called lazy or neglectful!!!!!#Those teachers don't know how it feels they don't#There were weeks where i was barely able to make myself breakfast or go to the bathroom#And i was a teen!!!!! I was a teeen!!
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this is intended to be, like, if a stranger on the street you were having a conversation with called you love.
think of any random person. I know this is dependent on context, but I don't want everyone to be hitting "else" just because if they're really nice they'd be okay with it. If any typical person you were chatting with called you "love", how would you react?
#despite how it sounds this isn't actually a personal opinion poll#it's more of a location thing#i'd personally feel like they're being condescending. it's not the kinda thing people say in florida#i'd say in southeast USA in general‚ but i've come to realize our tourism kinda messes with our culture and makes it different#but i know in some places that's just a thing people say. and some places that's a genuine compliment#curious as to the distribution#poll#polls#existenceunrelateds#actually maybe it's me. maybe it's florida.#but a LOT of those affectionate names other places use so iften come across as insulting to me#like “dear” and “love” and such#“miss” is VERY weird. don't call me that. i'm visibly a minor.#it always feels kinda creeper-y when‚ like‚ teachers call out names and say “Miss A----” instead of just my name#but i can never say anything bc i know that's a totally notmal and even respectful thing to do with kids in other places
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can i be mean for a second. it's great that people care & are thinking seriously about literacy education but i think it's sort of embarrassing that everyone's main source is a podcast. also a podcast cannot possibly make you an expert in the complicated social, developmental, & pedagogical questions of reading education. i really think a lot of what's happened is that it's compelling to imagine that we can resolve a profound social problem with a skill that many of us learned as young children (phonics!). in my experience, this narrative has specifically conservative appeal. none of this to say that i think we should toss out every neuropsych paper about literacy acquisition or whatever, but i do insist that there's a difference between the 'science of reading' as an evolving body of knowledge & practice and the (contentious & also evolving, lol) popular idea of what literacy education at any level ought to look like. also, um, did they ever fix that replication crisis, or
#haven't listened to the podcast i'm sure it's great i'm not a podcasts guy but i really have no problem with the podcast itself#my problem is with this like fervor without much content or expertise. also it feels like a way for some interests to undermine schools#not arguing the general conclusion that many schools have been doing the wrong thing! just saying like: not loving the public conversation#maybe other places do not have weirdo conservative local orgs trying to run lightly supervised phonics tutoring w/o credentials??#also 'science of reading' is now basically a buzzword but i don't think it's been accompanied by a robust public understanding -#of literacy acquisition. which is actually more or less fine imo! if you're a parent read with your kid & engage with them#if you're a teacher seek prof dev. everyone else um mind your own business? be kind to people around you??#maybe flex those phonics skills by reading some of the papers we're all so proud to vaguely know about idk#perhaps notice their methodological limitations & specific frameworks. consider how contingent our knowledge is.#feel free to argue with me i'm sure i'm being unjust &/or ornery here! would love recs if you have them
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My current job I work on average 5.5 hours a day and you know what? I think that's the perfect amount of time to work. I have plenty of time for my hobbies while also staying on top of the housework and I'd probably have time for a social life if I wanted one (I don't lmao I'm happy just chilling on tumblr), but having a job also gives me structure and a feeling of contributing to society. I think everyone should have a work week that looks like mine. 9-5 5 days a week/grind culture is bullshit and it's tragic that it's become the accepted standard pretty much worldwide.
#actually a lot of my colleagues complain they're bored#one of them even asked me for info about teaching online bc she wanted to work *more*#the notion that nobody wants to work is nonsense#people want to work they just don't want to pour all their time and energy into just scraping by#feeling like they have to earn their place in the world#and honestly i think we could have a society like that#where everyone works half days#morning people do the morning shift and night people do the afternoon/evening shift#you know how people talk about not cleaning up after themselves bc it's 'creating jobs'?#what if we all cleaned up after ourselves and didn't need those people to clean up after us and they could assist teachers instead?#society has so much potential and capitalism squanders it honestly#not languages#just rambling
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#the more i stay around people the more i want to become like them out of spite#because i was so surprised these people are at least 24-26 years age some even did a minor bachelor's before coming here#some have completed post grad and then joined#like aren't you all too fucking old to act that immature#i grew so resentful of everyone how they keep on doing the worst low man shit and then victimize themselves#hypocrites full of shit they don't want to hear the truth#i know no one has the audacity to take a fight with me on here because they know im the youngest here#not because im the youngest but because im better#the girls frown upon me because i don't hear their low mindset humorless jokes and pointo out where they fall short#oh [my irl name] youre so stiff hamesha kami kyun nikalti rahti ho hamesha baat kaatne ki aadat hai learn to take a joke#mazaak hi to kar rahe hain kya yaar#ive cried so many times because i feel suffocated here and out of hate i want to act immature selfish hypocrite too so i do#i become self centered and look into my needs#but everyday bcg shows me how one stays firm in mindset even amidst surrounding of shit people#he points out to me all the time when i start acting like them he says why aren't you trying to rise above#i say ham bhi karte hai na unn chutiyon jaisa behave kyunki unhe unhi ki language mei samajh aata hai#achha ban kar honest banne se kuch nahi milta yaha#but he knows his stuff#he never does these things#however much i let evil thoughts take upon i get astounded everyday how he's practicing his rightful his honesty even tho no one's looking#it makes me want to cry#i hope he gets so ahead in life i hope he stands at the podium one day on a stage and deliver speeches where people actually can see him#like he sees the orator that come to attend our unis gatherings and says everytime kuch to baat hoti hai inn logon mei#i hope he achieves whatever he wants i hope he gets ahead of everyone all this fucking corruption#its not that he's done anything that im applauding he tries his best#and maybe teachers see that too all in class they're only looking at him and teaching they know#do you know how fucking hard it is not get corrupted in this uni and become one of those assholes that have done things unimaginable#im inspired everyday ill try my best to be like him#i do not just want to praise him i want to become someone he doesn't have to say fir tum bhi vahi karogi to kya farq reh jaayega#kuch bada nahi hota logon ki roz roz ki choti choti aadaton se pata chal jaata hai vo kaise hain
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I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills
#I think the nothingness‚ the absence‚ the moving on despite everything‚... is a good if heartbreaking idea#and we do see snippets of it throughout the entire manga‚ yet I think it is mostly lacking in execution#I like the quiet ways in which we see the characters mourn. How Megumi laughs at the letter‚#how Shoko muses about how Satoru should have let her take care of Geto's body‚ the faint smile when Megumi agrees‚#how Shoko quits smoking again‚ Yuuji giving this person hope and a second chance‚ making a reference to him not being executed‚#and giving Sukuna too a chance for him to take one day a different path#All those are very good ideas and all those are very moving quiet ways of grieving. But. It feels in general so lacking#There's so much of everything else in contrast‚ even things that have way less importance narratively than this most of the time‚#that it feels lacking. Especially with how one has to dig to find these things. There's so much that could have been done with the same idea#And done so much better. But the idea is good. The absences are good. The quiet presences are good.The nothingness is good if bitter and sad#But it could have been written better#I also think this ending with Yuuji apparently knowing about Sukuna‚ his lies‚ his little hint of softness‚ the potential second path‚...#makes even more believable why he'd try at all to offer him a second chance. And I love that Yuuji knows him and I love that he still...#leaves the door open for that second chance to occur at some point. Trusting that Sukuna would walk that other path next time#And I love that without openly acknowledging Gojo he demonstrates that he hasn't forgotten him in his acting#How he gives that guy a second chance‚ how he jokes about him not getting executed‚ how he wants to make sure people‚ 'problem children'‚#don't get left behind. He doesn't mimick Gojo in his power but in this flippant but caring aspect and thus he's not forgotten#I do like this. It's heartbreaking. Gojo's desire to be forgotten is bittersweet as it's in a way a desire for... normalcy and humanity#To be surpassed. It goes well with how Gege says Gojo can do anything and thus why he does nothing‚ not even hobbies‚#to leave something for the future generations and not being another wall in their achievements#Gojo's desire to be forgotten is in line with the constancy of his writing when it comes to being drunk on his status#and yet resentful of his loneliness. It's a mix of being left behind and not being left behind#For being left behind and forgotten would mean he is more like the rest. Just another step forwards#And he'd have done what he wanted to achieve. Sorcerers can't stop a long while to grieve but Yuuji takes his words and actions#into consideration and steps forwards. Does the same. Fulfills Gojo's expectations. Walks towards the future. And that's the legacy Gojo#wanted and not going down in history as a legend or the strongest. He was just a teacher. Like Yaga was. He was not even the principal#Just a teacher. His role‚ the role he chose for himself‚ has been fulfilled. Now all this could have done way better#Something of Yuta and Megumi given their dynamics with Gojo would have been good. But I guess Gojo's 'at least one' works well#with Yuuji being the one doing the work. Yuuji was also ontologically alienated since birth and still he too remained cheerful and flippant#despite being so lonely so I guess the final parallel is intentional. But it could have been managed better still. The idea is good though
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wow
I sure do love signing into a class and getting a video from my instructor aggressively insinuating that myself and my classmates are idiots because he was using a very specific definition of the word teamwork, that was not ever in the book we're reading from, for our last assignment. So far the course has been us independently reading parts of the book, uploading our presentations that are based on a bare-bones rubric then the instructor boomer yelling at us in a video about how we're idiots for not understanding the exact and unspecified definitions he has for things (oh and it all has the underlying flavor of that kids these days need to be more independent and to stop being 'soft' ignoring that this course is supposed to be teaching us things rather than confirming that we know things)
#he reminds me of my dad (derogatory)#it really feels like he sets us up with an assignment knowing that we're going to fail it in some way and instead of doing anything to#keep us from failing or to help guide us around those spots he is waiting gleefully in the wings to call us stupid#this last one was how he doesn't do group projects because there will be slackers and he went about it in the worse kind of way#instead of focusing on how no group projects means that everyone can individually earn their grade he went for the angle of it's to#punish slackers#so yeah#very much a course I don't want to repeat especially if this is the only instructor for it#school stuff#and yeah I might be a bit sensitive to being called stupid (see my first tag for a clue) but fuck man this is borderline not professional#the underlying message that I'm receiving from it is 100% not but the way he's saying it skirts on the professional side technically#looking forward to writing up the course evaluation for this one but he'll probably take the negative reviews as a badge of honor#he's got the same feel as a teacher who is proud a bunch of students fail their class#because that means the content of the course is difficult or whatever
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#i know i won't shut up abt 5sos but the real question is will i ever go to a better gig than darren criss in [redacted] 2023#like i didn't even know half his songs before i went and i still had the best time i've ever had at a gig#literally the energy in that room was insane#and like... better than any gig i've ever been to in melbourne like#smth about being in a smaller place that artists don't often come to Especially not internation acts#everyone was so like... polite?#like they were doing concert so well they weren't being assholes and yelling when it wasn't their turn :')#which is so annoying i hate when a crowd is so roudy that it feels like a classroom and the teacher is waiting for everyone to shut up#like we can still have a good time if u respect the fact that some of us are spending hundreds even just Getting here#idk maybe i'm a music snob i just think there's something so magical in a quiet room full of people#like when something really beautiful has happened you can sit in it for a second#the pressure to cheer like... the idea that a moment of silence will somehow offend the artist who created the moment#i tried to find another concert on the tour where the crowd was as in the moment as we were for the line#'i believe there is music in the silence' and then he like#puts the guitar down and heads to the piano to do the rest#but it was so gorgeously quiet it was breathtaking i cried#it might have helped that he played the first half entirely accoustically no mic no amps#bc the venue was small enough and also designed to amplify naturally#but we all had to be so quiet to make sure everyone heard it so it just#the music hung in the air so magically y'all art is so good i'm still crying nothing will ever beat that concert i'm still chasing that hig#luke was nearly that magical but tbh..... the audience kinda ruined it for me at times :/#also he was nervous and kept cutting off the moment by saying 'thank you' like we get it ur a humble king but like#you have to let a song like place in me Breathe when it's done#you have to give the crowd a chance to go holy fucking shit what the fuck and THEN start screaming and Then thank them#but i'm truly such a snob it's the worst#honestly thinking abt how those lads are always improving tho he'll get there#by the time he's darren criss' age he'll be killing it even more they all will
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Look I don't know what the fuck antarctica is.
It's like stuff your ass ain't surviving past though
#I could see myself as a dragon the sixe of creation watching you breathe fire for me though#the little dragon female is like whaever you want master *poof* *puff* *snap dragon*#and the master dragon breathes into creation once again#look honey I had to grow it process it and sometimes ship it over the Christopher Columbus route#it's the most crazy part of it all and I already know it's true because I was there and I am going to be there#it was a simple time#car ride and some food#the old man that I like is there and things go well usually#I kinda remember me thinking about myself man what is this guy's deal#like after seeing myself selling nothing can ever compare#me: dude I would NEVER work at a restaurant that is for chicks#and yet there I am pretending I suppose#like how about I retire and go manage a restaurant like no mother fucker that's not what he does....he does those two#waitresses#uh well if anything gets a bell 133 I can claim it solo or in pair#I want to take extra sugar with you and one hand on each hood just gently letting you both feel my spark#connecting one hand with two hands#it's like water if you stare at each hydrogen right you gave two hos#but yanno let's get naked and get high and have fun and if you want to call it magic then that's what it is#she says wait til you taste that meat#shot out to your pics with your eyes red as fuck though.... that's hot#one thing you don't want to do is bring a dreamcast into my domain and not expect me to unlock the company logo to fight you#like logos ethos pathos.....like more than they claim but they don't know shit#like yeah.....I wanna slowly feel my bulge as you both demonstrate and begin the way of the hiot#yeah you've been doing it for years let's see it first#first time for me anyway#which makes it your most important teaching hoot#drugs teacher student relationship#sex: owner slave (s' down the line) relationship#I never wanted to be a phlebotomist but for you I will learn
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all the adults in Jake's life telling him 'your parents are good people, it'll all work itself out, they'll come back, there was probably just a mistake, everything will be fine' and Jake having to sit there wondering why good people were so willing to leave him behind
#for all those kids out there with parents with a good rep in their community#surrounded by adults who constantly tell them how amazing their parents are#without knowing an ounce of what they're like in private#not based on my own personal experiences btw rat i am okay#just an observation and definitely something i think jake experienced#his parents feel deeply embedded in the community#he's family friends with the police captain#he's had all his teachers over for dinner before#they all know him and his parents but they have no idea about his family#if that makes sense#so they all told him it'd be fine#there must've been some misunderstanding#and only jake knows that they just really don't give a fuck about him#bmc#jake dillinger#sucks bro rlly sucks for u#hope u feel better#i feel like i'm missing a tag#prolly bc i usually post richjake so i feel like i should be tagging rich too#whoops
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not reblogging the post because i know it's a flawed test (and infuriatingly poorly worded to wit) but the RAADS-R autism test is going around again and i got an 87, which is i think what i got the last time i took it and also tracks - i'm personally pretty certain that i'm not autistic, but (autistic) friends of mine have historically been split on the issue because apparently i 'act' like an autistic person and they're often surprised when i say i'm actually not
#my *closest* friends tend to think i'm not but - to quote one guy - '[i'm] very smart and smart ppl tend to have traits that overlap'#which is an interesting assessment (he's autistic tb clear) and i think i know where it's coming from#i'm very direct with comments; i often have trouble with empathy; i'm clever (or y'know 'clever' for a given value of the word);#i don't feel emotions particularly strongly - or immediately - and this comes across in my speech#which i've been told can come off as detached/disaffected/uncaring even when it's not trying to be;#i'm apparently quite difficult to read sometimes? or come off as intimidating per neutral expression;#uh. one time an english teacher told me that i'd taught her to 'think more logically' whatever the fuck that means;#these are i think stereotypical autistic 'smart guy' traits which do not actually map on to the majority of autistic people afaik#at least not as a package or all expressed the same way - but in this case i think it's a category error#interesting food for thought nonetheless. i spend some time thinking about it because people do ask me occasionally#and the general autistic mileu of tumblr.com has actually helped me be nicer to myself about those traits#(as well as check myself abt other people; i'm not going to pretend to be some kind of saintly autistic whisperer or w/e)#considered going back and taking the test with the 'most generous' and then the 'least generous' answers and comparing them#but i can't be bothered. add a button for 'in specific situations' or die by my hand#i WILL say that some of said autistic friends who were surprised to find out i wasn't#expressly thought i WAS because they drew a correlation between their behaviour and my own#so it's not just 'people are misreading me because of stereotypes about how autistic people act' although i do think that can be an element#let me know if this post is weird or w/e it is literally just speculating on myself and how people perceive me#as a consequence of tending to occupy circles otherwise occupied largely by neurodivergent people#('fandom' and 'archaeology and anthropology')
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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anyway is there anyone who follows me who's done student teaching in the past few years? i'm worried about going that long without an income even w/ savings lol
#i'm privileged because i inherited in an old car from my grandparents#and i'm also very frugal and i've worked a lot so i have a little bit saved up#i've always played this game of how much i can throw at disgusting private loans while having a bit of an emergency fund like#if i total my car i'd be fucked. i worry any major dent would total it because it's a 2002#love the car but there's stressors#like ideally if i could just allocate $1k for student teaching until i get my first paycheck in semester if i get a teaching gig#most ppl i know who graduated have#but $1k seems very stressful unless i can get like a $30 babysitting gig once a week to tide me over (free groceries ty parents woohoo)#that'd be mostly money i can throw at loans#but there's the praxis exams#also i have barely any information about that because our last professor didn't explain those in elementary music!!#we had a retired elementary school teacher as our prof for one year#i need to email our new elementary music prof because yeah im scared dude#idk how much to even budget mentally for those. i don't even know when they'd even be. like is that something my host teacher would go over#god#i need to ask a rlly nice dude in my major who's student teaching next semester too#but i feel so bad lol
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venting
#turns out no one will hire you if you haven't had an apprenticeship. i feel so fucking lied to#and unprepared. the course wasn't a waste in the sense it told me i could do this as a job#so it was worth it for me. i just hate that it was organized poorly and my teacher basically told me i can start my own shop when i truly#cannot. i'm not prepared. i don't know enough. so i do need an apprenticeship.#the only way to get that is to befriend piercers and i can't go to them as a customer since i'm broke and don't heal right. so i can't get#pierced by them and i don't know how else to start befriending people#so now i'm looking into remote jobs again but it's so overwhelming.#it feels like every time i find a path that feels doable the door gets slammed in my face#i'm so fucking stressed and sad and distraught i have no idea how to handle this#i'd love a front of house position in a piercing studio to start with but those are also so fucking hard to find#and i'm still just learning the language so i'm not fluent enough i won't be the first pick of several people apply#it's so disheartening. every time i think i've found my way something comes up that i don't know how to get around.#shit would be so fucking easy if i wasn't sick i could find a job doing whatever while i figure this out#but i'm too sick. if i'm lucky my sick notes will be extended til the end of the year#but i have no idea what to do after that.#been thinking about going to the unemployment office and being like yo i'm autistic and have a dr's note saying i cannot do physical jobs#can you find me a remote one#but idk if that'll help either#i'm just. really lost. and really tired. and really discouraged.#genuinely just exhausted.
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