#Those are all the basis of my gender lol

[tarakau]

Mom just reminded me that when I was about 4 or 5 I was obsessed with Gomez Addams and Hercule Poirot and wanted to be just like them so much that I refused to leave the house unless she drew a mustache on me. :)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

with the recent like self-analytical framework of [putting hand on own shoulder] "are you looking for the external validation of value in this which would never be guaranteed, and you don't even think it should be contingent on this anyways" it's like, that also speaks more to like "yeah i did really enjoy live performance / theatre-adjacent and -overlapping stuff"

like i have my sense of how much i loved things and none of that involves any memories of having enjoyed it b/c of any feedback i got, from peers or instructors or anything. memories of curtain calls don't stand out much. like fun Specific Feedback was a kind older (relative to me) performer with the central role telling me that my literal leaping onstage (dance performance. grande jete entrance) despite a technical difficulty that would have to be improvised around was Inspirational/Motivating lol. i stopped having any particular stage fright (although is that when you're onstage? more like, anxiety beforehand about messing up. being onstage was the easier, enjoyable part) thanks to just having to yolo through those technical difficulties lol....anyways and then that same show actually, some relative to me younger audience member's dad was like "she's your (role's) biggest fan" and we nervously take a pic together lol. these things were fun & standout but Not Even It; not at all like "this is what makes it all worth it" like this is largely beside the point but a fun little bonus outlier event or two

like there was also no "i loved it b/c of Being In A Cast" nor b/c of any particular like, hanging out having fun Social Element. i loved rehearsing, though. loved being backstage (or in green rooms, or dressing rooms) but not because of any particular company or goings on. loved waiting & practicing / warming up & getting things together like your own costuming & being summoned to backstage & whatall. loved all the technical elements of getting a show together, when things were being assembled / worked out, though i didn't get to have much of any active hand b/c i'm like this twelve year old just learning the part, but it was fun to witness. none of my sense of what contributed to having a great time entailed any particular praise or anything; there was some implicitness in how all at once i graduated from [ensemble performance, back row for tall people] to [roles with solos] and the like, but there was just like, being busy, doing things well enough that it just wasn't Impeding anything lol, and in other arenas where i might've gotten more comments about being like, an outlier per whatever measure of success, it was definitely like, it's all just [successfully avoided negative attention] and ofc people think good grades are good but i'm not particularly moved by the awareness that that in turn is what's good or impressive about me, or something. or that i have to have anything like that for [successfully avoided negative attention]

and i wouldn't have like, done a monologue to an empty room and been like wow magical. i'd do my thing for rehearsal, and then for an audience, but you can't really see the audience and you're like ten doing local ten year old recreational stuff so it's like, the curtain calls you don't remember much (by you i mean me) and then you're done, and for me it was the fun of just like Everything Before. no like classic memories montage of great times socializing, it was me sitting in the green room equivalent, me warming up in the hallway, enjoying being in an auditorium for like 7 hrs of rehearsal, etc, we didn't do any like social events like high school performance afterparties or anything; i wasn't like Friends w/even the occasional person i also knew from school, and that didn't matter or diminish things in the least. performing A Show and for whatever Audience and that abstract is completely good enough. any of my parents' involvement, unavoidable b/c i couldn't even get places without being driven, was a major downside; i didn't like any like post performance [congrats] from them b/c that stuff was just its own unconstructive Performance that you, by which i mean me, were required to be sufficiently like Oh Wow about when it's like, the focused attention from you here means i want to leave; being left all amongst other adults during rehearsals was the good shit, while it also wasn't the case i needed like support or hype from any of those adults either.

there was Some tradition of like, older students in some program who'd take a trip to nyc / do some performance or other, and that seemed exciting but it stopped existing before it could be relevant to me lol. also for the first like, show that was like "audition for parts" vs "class recitals" they gave us like a relevant keepsake for it, and that was a nice surprise, since i had a great experience and all. and one of my main [not dance, with lines and everything] experiences being this fourth grade english class scenes from julius caesar, auditioned again, i'm like hell yeah that this has to be nongendered b/c it's all a bunch of guys, so i play a guy, and an antagonist yippee who doesn't die midway through and sounds easy-peasy to be like [be the dictator assassin] lol. it's funny how already i Cared about like, wish we had Effects instead of awkward silence for the drama of that assassination. wish i like, knew fuckall about acting. but the teacher just focused on telling us all to talk louder b/c nobody could be individually mic'd, and in the end you really couldn't hear fuckall of other performances so that was a win. and we got to do it twice b/c some people's parents got stuck in traffic. all i remember of my parents' presence was being like "omg yes i get to stop being here talking to you b/c we get to do that Again hell yeah"

like it's social but in a Parallel way. i'm contributing my part, i know my role, you know yours, i'm fondly remembering sitting in some school lobby having mini muffins with hours to go before our performance, amongst other people but not at all hyped abt interactions with them or at all disappointed abt the absence of any. i enjoyed it all being in front of people, others involved in the show, or the audience, but i wasn't there for any specific feedback, just being Part of that group constructed experience there. truly this case of like....loved all of that exactly as it happened, was on my own shit, did not need any external validation, didn't need a specific kind of Socializing that's supposed to look like having individual interactions with personal friends, had this passion for it that i also was having a perfectly good time exploring on my own, whilest also enjoying working with / learning from whatever instruction i got. like sure wishing i knew fuckall about acting but that it turns out no not everyone necessarily all loves stage acting as The Peak like that, and this comfort and interest with it that comes from like, you have all the practice of Having to perform and mask and act in life against your supposed incorrect abnormalities, but here's this constructive and creative and expansive edition of that art and science. good enough for doing it all through like fourteen

[dingodad]

please god i need to know what U think of the whole “jadebloods are all female!” thing because i got into homestuck in 2019 around the time of friendsim and (retching) Lanque so i always assumed they were explicitly intended to be an all-female caste. however, re-reading the comic this year, i couldnt find a mention of it other than virgo and the Space aspect being really feminine, but i think kanayas journey with motherhood is more kanaya-centric than All-Jadebloods centric??

on one hand, it makes sense given that alternia has very real gendered oppression, so what’s better for that than CATHOLICISM?? on the other hand, i always saw kanaya as being transfem coded, because it connects so well with roxy yknow.. homestuck fans love to insist that certain characters just have to be cis women (kanaya, jade, roxy)

(as an aside; was “long hair was butch on alternia” a one off joke? i like speculation about alternia’s fashion opposing earth, lol)

most all of our basis for explicitly gendered interpretation of Alternia comes from act 6 intermission 3, where Aranea tells us that "jade 8loods were also an almost exclusively female caste". so the door has always been open for there to be "some male jadebloods". but it's a mistake to view this as having anything to do with any kind of "biological sex". the whole idea of biological sex among trolls is a smoke screen. the jadebloods' assigned gender at birth is "jadeblood". this is what makes them a feminised caste.

Caliborn doesn't have a clue what biological sex is. Aranea will tell you that there are boy cherubs and girl cherubs, but for your own sanity you need to cast this idea out of your mind: cherub sex takes place between good and evil cherubs - which is determined by their blood - and anything else is just roleplay. Caliborn's attitude toward sexing is that the ones he likes are boys - that's all the thought that goes into it. and that's the mindset we need to be aware of when we delve into understanding troll gender. there are some trolls who have breast tissue and some who don't, but they aren't "mammaries" in any sense, so there's no reason to believe they're actually sexual characteristics of any kind; maybe this is what Lord English chose to base his gender schema on, but the idea that this means there must be "male trolls" and "female trolls" is completely imagined for the narrative convenience of the human reader.

when we read that there are "male-dominated" highblood castes and therefore by implication female-populated lowblood castes, it's not by some coincidence of biology: the highblood castes are male-dominated BECAUSE they are highblood castes. each caste has a role to play in Caliborn's Alternia, and just as the highblooded roles are those of patriarchal domination, the lower castes must take on roles of feminised submission; and in the case of the jades in particular, this means breeding duties. the fact that this also comes with the expectation to wear makeup and pretty clothes is just more roleplay.

so tl;dr what i think of "the all jadebloods are female thing" is that it is very obviously true but in a way more 5 dimensional gender studies way than anyone else tends to mean when they say it

my pet "long hair was butch on alternia" headcanon - which is a joke but in the way all headcanons about alternia should be jokes of some kind - actually kind of relates to this lol. bc i figure that if gendered expectations of female trolls includes working in disgusting underground caverns filled with genetic material, it's going to be practical to keep your hair close to your head where it won't get dirty, in much the same way the feminist image of the short-haired woman became popular in the west during and after world war 2, wherein a lot of women had to start wearing their hair close to their heads to avoid scalping themselves in the factory machinery they suddenly had to start working with. hence kanaya dedicated to her assigned feminine role and wearing her hair short vs. porrim rebelling against it for feminist reasons and thus wearing her hair at a length that would be totally impractical for wading through gene pools.

[olderthannetfic]

What's the current consensus (among you and your blog followers that is) on the good ole discourse topic of "fixed top-bottom roles dominate in fandom because straight women are imposing a heteronormative binary on slash and femlash"? Because that popped up recently in the fanfiction subreddit, and the replies (mostly blaming straight women and stereotypes, with the occasional smattering of "examine yourself") have been giving me a rage-induced headache.

--

LOL.

There is nothing new in this argument or my reactions to it.

Strict roles often come from men and from offline queer culture, not just from women and BL/slash.

The women (and "women") who like strict roles are often not straight, and the people whining about The Straights have no basis for telling who's who, which makes them inherently transphobic, biphobic, homophobic pieces of shit.

Role-based relationship dynamics are not necessarily heteronormative.

What this shit is, fundamentally, is reheated queer community wank from like the 80s about how butch/femme is insufficiently progressive and your sex life is political, wah wah wah.

People who fall for it in fandom now are some combination of radfem poisoned and those defensive idiots who think the cis gay men will validate them more than the BL fan sitting next to them.

They might be a trans man asserting that he's more male than you and thus more valid while ignoring that he isn't hanging out in other dude spaces because they disrespect his gender and/or laugh at his delusions about horny content. They might be a nonbinary person asserting their not-femaleness by asserting that everyone else is the most stereotypical cishet woman ever. They might be a woman pulling that "my gay best friend" shit.

Regardless, they're all the same morons we saw in the 90s, futilely hoping that some man will validate them.

No one is going to validate them.

If they could write for beans, they'd be a famous BL author themselves, making everyone like whatever dynamic they prefer. Instead, their only skill is crying about how the talented and productive people waste time on The Wrong Art.

Laugh in their faces. It's what they deserve.

[idv-sunsxin3]

Horropedia // Dating Headcanons

Note// First Reverse: 1999 writing. A bit suggestive in some parts. This is my version of Horropedia, so if you don’t like it,,,, you might as well have to write your own because this is meant for my self-indulgence;; sowwy <//3

// preferably female s/o- gender neutral is also okay since I didn’t exactly mention a specific gender :)

As a strange autistic guy, I just imagine him to be the type of guy who probably have indirectly confessed to you earlier before you can even realize that months after- like you're just laid down on an armchair and you suddenly connected lines on the previous lines you once heard him before-

"Ah, hey! I've been waiting all my life to meet someone like you, so I had to come and say hello."

...he literally just say a simple remark with that smile as he gifted you a spirit catcher pistol- and then left....

Sometimes, you might not understand him. But you eventually asked him out on a date (in a normal way for once-).

"Oh? A date? Great! Let's go get coffee together. " :))

Little do you know, he also plans to have a ghost hunting date after that---

___

Kissing scenes in horror films? Horropedia at first felt a bit skeptical about them, finding that unnecessary... Until he got a crush on you, and then FELL for you - That's when he lowkey wondered in his autism brain... how would a kiss with you feels like?

Oh gosh, so many possibilities;;;

Horropedia would slowly realize the fact that he would unconsciously check his mouth breathing and fix his hair a bit whenever he spots you entering the room. "Who knows when that kiss scene happened cough cough -"/hj

There was a time Horropedia sneakily slipped during those ironically cute kissing scenes in a horror movie.. You may think you would just slip away from the unknown opportunity he would be searching for - But no, you wouldn't even get the peace to resume watching or have time to recover from a jumpscare that happened few minutes ago when there is this silly dork softly nibbling and smooching on your face and neck like that;;;

aaaand now you're making out with him in the middle of the movie ..

It seems there are now more reasons for him to ask you to stay over. ;)

He wants to impress you so bad ever since the moment he heard about you - You just happened to be... ordinary? But at the same time, refreshing... someone who easily connects with almost anyone.

Darn, I think you’re made for him. ☺️ (lol)

At first, he wanted to be the Mr. Mysterious and only introduced himself to you as "Horropedia. "... At some certain point after, he would  bashfully let you call him "Joshua." Just don't get too cocky...-/ih

If you're just as comfortable with dark humor and other kinds of morbid stuff, there is this small scenario where you and Horropedia would roleplay a bit as to help him make up stories involving these morbid antagonists and anti-heroes...- He would be kinda a bit down bad if you say Wednesday Adams stuff technically./hj

He is not sure If he has the right to die or laugh when he gets called "Joshy"... it's cringe, but he finds your silly demeanor very cute and funny.

You happen to be a big listener when it comes to horror movies, horror stories, and horror video games- whatever horropedia rambles at you at 3 am. as if it is a nearly daily basis/ih

He loves sharing hobbies with you, even cherishing the moments when you get to do whatever activities with him that are close to his interests and what he's passionate about...

You can already tell he's not interested in anything else other than that sense of thrill he has for phenomenon or violent drama... but he'll try his best to be flexible when it comes to giving you quality time... Like crafting, cooking, maybe painting?

You might know what he will create in his own hands...- ghost cupcakes, a sculpture of Friday the 13th's killer, Michael Myers mask---

Jumpscares are out of date for him, of course, but then... he still watches those classical horror movies once in a while since they're pretty much fundamental to the art of fear.

Ironically... He does like surprise back touches! Well... As long as it doesn't have to imply his poor posture, back hugs are good to go.

He finds it pleasant to have you sit next to him or on his lap as he plays those Indie horror games(?), "mmmm... Dark deception? World of Horror? Resident Evil? The Last of Us? What about Outlast? What do you think, Babe? :))"

FNAF would be obviously a breeze for him... Bro, imagine him going crazy about fnaf lore, hahahha-

DDLC gave him mixed feelings. He is half glad his baby is not that mad crazy because of that/ih

LITTLE NIGHRMARESSSS- Man, imagine him having these silly moments with how he just concerningly reacts so happily at a kid eating a gnome who just offered a sausage oh gosh-

Watching horror movies with him would be like watching a live commentary channel as you feel a slim hand rubbing your waist throughout the movie.

You might have mixed reactions alongside him when accidentally encountering sex scenes on horror movies...- things might get awkward but he would make sure to close your eyes if you don't like to see that kind of stuff- intercourse is not the option,,,, mass arson it is/ih

I can only imagine Horropedia calling you either your name, Babe, Baby, or  Boo (NOT PUN INTENDED I SWEAR FJNFNF;;) Is usually your name being called normally. Unless he is so so happy,,, or is because he just did something you probably not going to like~ 😇✨️

“Is your name Boo? Because you’re making me scream in delight.” ♥️

Oh boy-

[brisquad-unit-4402]

being gorgeous

HAHA SORRY I'M A LITTLE LATE TO THE 2.0 REVEAL THIRST PARTY i passed out while writing this yesterday and it shows. and then i've done nothing else today except for write, eat a donut, write, reheat some pork chops, write, join an online meeting, and write. it's 8:23 am. bonus points if you can pinpoint the exact moment i dropped my phone and fell asleep last night. and also the point where it turned morning here and i started getting goofy. literally no matter what happens all roads lead to Oh My God Why Is Shu So Beautiful

funny story while i was writing this: i wrote p much all of this on my pc and i have all of the noctyx puppets around my desk area but taichou is the only one that's actually on the desk and when i was starting out for the day i couldn't concentrate because he was just staring at me like ._. so i turned him around to face the wall and somehow that was what kicked off 3631 words???

shoutout to 🍰 anon for making soooo many of my neurons activate. we have a mutualistic symbiotic relationship and i think i'm going to go insane. i've spent the better part of the last 24 hours just writing this and nothing else i think i've actually lost it.

tags: established relationship, suggestive content, making out, 2.0 outfit, praise kink, humiliation kink, hurt/comfort, self-image positivity ig?, soft dom reader, gender neutral reader, sex references under the read more but there's no actual sex lol

⚠ suggestive/sexual content, praise kink, and humiliation kink under read more. content under read more is not intended for minors

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

All that muscle, and still Shu finds himself between a wall and a hard place. He wanted to try on something new, and naturally you were the first to check him out.

And, God, you checked him out. He wore a loose black robe covered in the skeletons and bones you were so used to seeing on a daily basis. The robe nearly grazed the floor of the changing room, and as he shuffled his feet, the fabric wrapped around the outline of Shu’s strong calves before returning to rest. A plume of fur adorned one shoulder while the other bore a moon pauldron that only drew your eye to the broad shoulders underneath. He tied his long hair up into a ponytail, the dark interrupted by streaks of pink and blond by his bangs, and purple hair fell down his back and caught the gleam of his bright eyes.

Though those bright eyes were cloudier with the shyness of being the center of your attention. He resolved himself to confront it. He cleared his throat and met your gaze, and asked, “Do you like it?”

“Shu, look at yourself.” You grasped him by the shoulders and turned him around to face the mirror. “Of course I do. You’re beautiful.”

He tried to keep a straight face, but there was no way he’d be able to hide his red ears with his hair tied up. “How do you just say things like that so easily?”

“Because it’s true,” you said. You rested your chin on his shoulder, right next to the armor, and watched the mirror as his face turned to roses the same shade as the marking on his forehead.

You get comfortable. “You’ve always been so handsome no matter what you do.” Your hands hold him by his waist, but it doesn’t take you long before one roams upwards. His waistline slopes out to his chest, and you feel Shu’s body shift as your hand slides under the fabric and cups one side of his chest. The mirror serves as a reminder that you were practically on top of him. “But honestly, Shu, you look so hot I can’t believe it.”

“I- I do?”

You mutter in agreement before you kiss his neck, languid and low where it meets his collarbone.

Shu gasps in surprise as it turns passionate, traces of your teeth along skin usually hidden by his hair. He softens into you as you fondle him, and when you circle his nipple he knows he’s doomed.

Teeth sink into his skin, and his breath hitches at the sudden pain. It quiets as your tongue soothes the mark, and goes blinding as you flick his nipple in time with a long lick. Shu can’t help but moan at that. His shoulder rises as nervous energy drips down his body from where your lips cling to his neck, and he knows you can feel him tremble as you toy with his nipple.

The kisses rise higher on his neck, a line of desperation even though you know you have all the time in the world. It’s more like you need to make him know he’s cherished. You weren’t kidding when you complimented him earlier; he’s always been good-looking, and you’ve never been shy about that. But trying a different look made him just as tense as he was excited, so you’re here to shoo all those insecurities away. After all, you’d be lying if you said his new look didn’t turn you on.

You take a glance at the mirror's reflection. Shu's eyes are shut. His long lashes flutter between his makeup, and his lips are parted as he takes all the sensations in. Meanwhile, you look sly and calculated as you cast a sideways glance to your reflection. A bit of your tongue pokes out of your mouth and along your latest attack.

Using the mirror, you take Shu's head in your hands as your lips run over his ear. His eyes snap open into lovely crystal, stunned and sparkling.

“I don’t think I can resist you,” you whisper. "Look at yourself."

He averts his eyes. "I mean, I'm not all that."

"Oh, you are." You turn him to the mirror as your fingers glaze along his chin. Your nails lightly scratch at his jawline, and he can't help but stare at the movement in the mirror.

Out of the corner of his vision, he catches his expression and nearly kicks himself. Was he really that out of control? His horrors are realized when he notices the bead of saliva at the corner of his mouth. He swats the back of his gloved hand over it.

But you catch Shu's hand before he can even wipe it away. "Don't."

"But..."

"Stay still."

Following your command wasn't so hard. He was frozen in place anyways.

It takes everything he has to not react as you drag your tongue up his jawline between the fingernail scrapes. His heart hammers as your lick curls perfectly around his lip to catch the saliva before sliding it back into place inside his mouth.

He follows what feels natural, and when his tongue meets yours, fire runs in your blood. Outside it, too. Sorcerous flames kick alive around his head, then fade just as quickly as they appeared. He's a light show even in his invisible unconscious, and sparks course in your open-mouthed kiss in jolts of hot heaviness.

The hand that caught his earlier leads him as he takes a step back, then another, and his third ends flush against the wall. Shu's ponytail swirls around from the movement, and brushes along your body as you pin him to the wall of the changing room.

There's a loud smack as you end the kiss, breathless and heated. Shu's lashes blur over his enchanted purple eyes, and a few strands of black and gold-blond hair get in the way of his face.

"So handsome," you say, and move his head back to the mirror. "You can still see yourself?"

He barely rustles out a yes, but you feel his head nod slowly between the nails on his jaw and tangled in his hair.

"Good. I'm glad you get to see how handsome you really are." Your grasp crawls up to his cheek. "Watch yourself, and don't dare to look away. I want you to see yourself become a beautiful mess. Can you do that for me?"

Another nod, slower this time.

"Say it."

Shu swallows, and struggles to put the words together. He didn't think he was ugly per se, but he always thought of himself as just plain average. One of the many so-so faces out there in the world. All your praise breaks through those thoughts like an arrow smack-dab in the center of a target, however, and he's abashed at how easily you can say something he's never considered himself as.

It's unfamiliar. A new feeling, really, and likely the one he was dreading when he decided to wear something new for a change. Shu doesn't consider himself a head-turner—that's usually reserved for one of his friends, and he's used to watching them in the limelight from his own comfortable corner of darkness—so now that he's the one against the wall with eyes on him and nowhere to run, hot shame tempers his blush. The mirror only intensifies the feeling.

He looks back at himself. His hair's already messed up from the hand against his scalp, and one side of his neck peppered with the indentation of fangs along the soft skin. Not to mention his decidedly uncute face, with hands far prettier than his own around his jawline, murky eyes crinkled from his perverted pleasure, and yet another string of saliva down from his swollen-red lips. It was probably left over from the kiss. He thinks he should call it disgusting.

Your face rests along his in the mirror, and he can feel your breath on his cheek as you massage his flustered face. You're way more attractive than he is, and he has to wonder: does such an average-looking guy like him really deserve to have such a beautiful person dote over him like this?

"It's okay to indulge yourself, you know," you suggest. Your voice is golden caramel and rich chocolate. "You really are gorgeous. Even if you don't believe it."

Gorgeous. The word bounces around his head. He's never been called gorgeous before, and he nearly turns away on instinct.

The new feeling, he decides, is being gorgeous.

You smooth over one of the long locks of hair along his chest, where you teased him earlier. It feels like silk through your fingers, and as you reach higher Shu's eyes widen just a little more. Then you see the glassiness between the color, and you realize there's more going on in his head than you thought.

"I'll take care of you, if you want me to." You put your agenda on hold just to make sure you aren't about to overwhelm Shu. "Do you want me to?"

"Reader, do you really think..." Shu lowers his head as he fights to form the sentence. "You really think I'm... that?"

"I do."

"And you're not just saying that?"

"You are, I swear. Here, let's take a break real fast." You step away and give Shu some space, but he keeps his back against the wall. He exhales, and the color drains from his face. “Stop me if you need me to. But when we met, I thought you were really pretty. I really liked your sense of style, and the colors in your hair, and I liked to sneak looks at your biceps." You laugh a little at that. "I love your eyes a lot. They're really bright, and whenever you smile, they always squint a little.

"That's one of the other things I really love about you, whenever you smile. You like to laugh. So you smile often, and it's always because they're something to be happy about, and that makes me happy too. Sometimes because it affects me too, and sometimes, just because I love whenever my partner gets to enjoy himself."

You scratch the back of your head. "And, um, I came off a little strong when I saw you, so I'm sorry if I scared you. I didn't mean to do that at all. It's just that I got used to seeing your usual outfit, so now that you're trying something new..." You laugh again, but this time it's a gentle giggle, and without lust fueling you, you feel a bit embarrassed. "I mean, I really did think you were beautiful before, especially once we got closer, and I got to explore you more. But this is a whole other level. You've really outdone yourself. Like, I couldn't even hold back when I saw you, I was just so attracted to you that I didn’t even think. I really should have, though. I didn’t mean to cross a boundary.”

Shu’s eyebrows raise. “What? You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just that…”

He trails off. He slumps over and slides down the wall with a sigh as he sits. His ponytail rests along the floor and along one of his sleeves. "I know you compliment me often, but I never thought you seriously meant it. No one's ever said things like that to me before."

"Really?" You sit next to him. "Should I stop?"

"No! No, you're fine. I mean. I think... It's not like I didn't like it." Shu buries his face into his hands and groans. "I really liked it, actually. I think it was just too new, and it's second nature for me to deny how good it feels, and—" He cuts himself off to muster up his courage. He lowers his hands just enough to peek out, but his fingers thread through each other and hide his face. "I've never been called gorgeous before."

"Was that okay?"

"It was perfect," he admits. His eyebrows relax, and his eyes squint. You don't need to see the rest of his face to know his lips curved up. But he dilutes his swoon with another sigh, and you can tell he's disappointed in himself as he drops his hands to his side. "I wish I wasn't in my head when you said it. Sorry for ruining a good moment."

"You didn't ruin anything, Shu, what are you talking about?" You reach to hold his hand, but hesitate, unsure if he wants to be touched. But he turns his palm over to met yours, and you connect. "I'm glad we're talking about it, and I'm hoping that it's helping you work through it, too. I'd hate to do or say anything to you that you couldn't handle."

"Thank you. That's really sweet of you." You take in how he wraps his fingers around yours and squeezes. "I'm going to calm down for a moment."

You sit together for a moment. His face is a slideshow between thoughts, and you rub circles along his hand with your thumb as he recomposes himself. You trust him.

You send comfort through your fingertips on the changing room floor, and his deep breathing turns to silence as a minute passes by. Then Shu turns to you, and lifts your hand in his. "Do you want to try again?"

"You're up for it?"

He nods, and this time it's with all his energy. "I was really looking forward to it. Can we?"

"Of course, Shu, anything for you." Already you're starting to feel warm. You get up to your feet, and bring Shu with you.

You're not so sure if Shu is aware of this, but even in his weakest moments, he moves elegantly. Not so much that it looks practiced, but he rises nimble like the shadows he channels his sorcery through. His long hair rests on his sleeves, then slips behind his back airily as the leathery wing along his torso flares with the motion.

He doesn't let go of your hand, even as he steps back and rests against the wall.

"You're okay with this?" You ask.

"It felt nice."

Your hand lets go of his, but it doesn't break away from his glassy-clear skin, and instead takes in the shape of his arm. His inner wrist is so soft, but the skin gets pleasantly rougher as you continue upwards into the plush of his forearm, and by the time you reach the peak of his biggest muscles, the plush turns firm.

The other holds him by his hips right under the sash of his robes. You can wrap yourself so easily around his waistline, and the urge to snatch him up is stifling.

But you're on a mission, and Shu's straight nose is dusted with pink, and when your hands both squeeze his body, a short gleam of fire spirals out behind him, and yet, his vivid, royal eyes are what captivate you the most.

You're so lost in his long lashes and the flecks of galaxy that you feel helpless, even with him pinned underneath you. "Shu, can I kiss—"

You get your answer before you even finish the question.

It's like you never paused in the first place. He enters your mouth first, and you match his movements, crossing along his tongue as if it was your lifeblood. It probably is. Shu has a tendency to unlock hunger like you've never known it before.

His arms unconsciously flex at the contact. Aroused, you drive forward and force him further against the wall, and when you hear the rumble of a moan between your connected lips, your fingers clutch harder at his waist.

Your bodies are flush against one another, and as you lean forward, you feel the telltale silkiness of his hair. You don't dare to open your eyes as you fumble around for a tuft to tangle your hands in. Shu pulses in your mouth as you take hold, and parts just enough to aim for your bottom lip as he returns the favor and bites. You hear a lewd, liquidy smack as he hurriedly glosses over the nip, then back to your parted lips. Every time there's even the slightest tension between his hair and your fingers, you notice, he rushes to kiss you harder.

So when he goes in for another round, you move your mouth away. His eyes flutter open in confusion, then shocks into surprise as you drag him in front of you. The mirror reflects his surprise right back at him.

Your head perches on Shu's shoulder. "You up for this, baby? You want to see?"

The heat returns. His reflection is another reminder of how he's totally at your mercy, and all the shame that comes with being so whipped that he already looks this ruined.

But you called him beautiful earlier. Gorgeous.

He kind of likes the shame.

"Yeah," Shu says, breathless. "Y-yeah, I do."

"Good boy," you coo, and that washes a whole new set of feelings over him that he files away for later. He tucks his chin away, embarrassed at the name, but he's still focused on the reflection as your reach to the top of his head and the beginnings of his ponytail.

Shu grew his hair out long, and you comb through the ponytail as it loosens down his back. "Pretty boy," you say. Your voice is tempting so close to his ear, especially as you gather his hair together. "Pretty boy with pretty hair. You take good care of it."

He lets out a hum deep in his throat as you smooth through it, only for it to turn into a startled choke as you grab at the base of his head. He chides himself for not seeing through your plan, but not enough to stifle how the choke turns into a moan as you pull. His neck jerks back. Then your lips make contact with his nape like a vampire to prey, and the moan turns into an even more humiliating yelp. The mirror proudly displays his neediness, but the high pitch is yours alone to keep.

"Didn't mark this side earlier." You mutter as you blow cool air over your latest kiss, and bask in how he shivers storms. "You like that?"

"Mmm, feels good," he says, voice wavering.

"Sounded like it, too. I liked hearing it. Gives me a chance to keep playing around with you."

His common sense tells him to protest, but he's too enthralled by the rough kisses and pulls. You tug on his hair to move him instead of asking him, and the way that you can command him without even using words both impresses and mortifies him.

It's the bites that send him over the edge, though. His nape is your territory. The first hickeys have already darkened on the other side, and when he sees you ravenous over his elongated neck, it's dirty and starved and lovely.

You press a kiss under Shu's ear and he jolts at the pleasure. When you suck, he inhales shakily, and lolls his head to the side. He had no idea that he just put himself in the perfect position. "Just like that, stay still. That's perfect." You weave your fingers through an open seam in his outfit, and when you leave your next mark, it's with your hands over his chest underneath the fabric. You grope his cleavage. "Perfect, perfect, perfect."

"H-how did you even— nngh, ah!"

His nipples were already hard enough, but then you just had to go and twist the damn thing like it wouldn't send him so far down to hell that he'd come back up in heaven.

"Just like that, Shu, baby, you're doing so well!" A flick on the bud here, a pull on his ponytail there, your words barely able to ring out as you frenzy between the kisses and the licks.

Whatever noise hangs in the air, it's downright pornographic, and it's only when Shu sees his open mouth in the mirror that he realizes that's his voice. It wobbles between a cry and a huff. Pink and purple dances around his hazy reflection, but as aroused as he is, he recognizes them as his harmless fire. He didn't even know he did that.

The fire trails behind his head as everything goes hot. He can barely think straight, but the only thing coursing through his mind is that he's never been able to feel delight like this before.

Where you stand behind him, Shu rolls his hips, his neck still held back against your body. You've been doing such a good job of keeping yourself together, but the slow coursing is a death sentence. You welcome it wholeheartedly.

"Mm, Shu...!" That elegance is seriously biting you in the ass right now. Even when he's horny, he's graceful, but you ache for more.

And even when he's submissive, he's strong. You tend to forget that those biceps aren't just for show.

Shu practically plucks you out of the embrace and to his side. His voice is husky but whiny. "Mirror or not, I'm not about to go down on you standing up."

"Let's get you a bed," you negotiate. The sooner you can get all you love out of your system, the better. "Lead the way, gorgeous."

He doesn't waste any time at all. He holds his arm out along the small of your back and rests his hand against where your hips connect with your thighs, and as you shuffle out of the changing room he keeps you close to his, brushing up against you all the while. You'd almost think he was preening.

"Gorgeous," you utter. Hopefully he learns how one day.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[choicesficwriterscreations]

April OC of the Month: Olivia Hadley

Please welcome April 2024's MC of the Month! Each month, we highlight one MC or OC on our Meet My MC / OC List. They are selected randomly on the Wheel of Names, and eligibility requirements can be found here. We accept MC / OC profiles on an ongoing basis. Please feel free to send yours in!

This month’s OC of the month is…

@storyofmychoices's Olivia Hadley!

More below...

In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC / OC.

Olivia is literally sunshine. She is the most genuine and empathetic person. She constantly looks for ways to help others and make life better for those who are not as fortunate as she is. She always tries to make everyone she meets (especially children) feel special and heard/appreciated. It doesn’t matter if she knows them or not. She looks out for everyone. She is just a good person with the most beautiful heart and soul. She is so precious to me. In an ideal world, there would be a lot more Olivia’s to help us all feel special.

Do you feel your MC / OC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I do think Olivia and I have a lot in common. While I wish I could be as kind and empathetic as Olivia, I am still human, and I make mistakes. I try really hard to live by the principles of “leave the world a little better than you found it” (even if it’s just putting away a grocery cart someone left or picking up one piece of trash in a parking lot) and “be kind whenever possible; it is always possible” (this one is a little harder, but I try every single day to show kindness to everyone, even when I cannot show it to myself). I feel those principles also represent Olivia, she’s just better at it than me.

I also think we have similar occupations. We both wanted to be veterinarians and then learned we’d have to put animals down. Then we both switched to Pediatric Medicine. Olivia stuck with it. I decided to be a teacher because Pediatricians need to know how to deliver babies, and that’s a hard pass for me. Childbirth might be a miracle, but it’s disgusting (IMHO) lol. But we both work closely with children and try to make a positive impact on their lives. We both do whatever we can to create a safe place where children can tell us stuff they don’t know if they can share with their parents yet (questioning their sexual identity or gender). I’ve been very lucky to help several transgender elementary students feel more confident and accepted as well as work with parents to help them help their child. I’ve also worked with students with abusive home lives or their families can’t afford basic needs so I’ve gone out of my way to try to help them through anonymous donations and gift cards through the school. Anything I can do to ease even one struggle, I will do it and I think that is very much the person Olivia is. Olivia will always look out for anyone in her life. 

As for differences, Olivia is a little more confident than I am. I drink far more coffee than she does. We both love plants, but she keeps them alive better than I do. I try, but I don’t always succeed, though a cactus I got as a gift from a student 3 years ago just bloomed for the first time this month, so I’m super excited for that. Maybe Olivia is finally rubbing off?

What is most important to your MC / OC? What is their motivation in life?

Olivia’s motivation is truly to make the world a better place. She knows that it’s not always easy, and there are so many struggles and so many hardships. She really wants to make a difference in the lives of those closest to her as well as in the community she serves. She knows she can’t conquer world hunger or global peace, but if she can make a difference to people around her then maybe those people can help some others and things would ripple out from there. 

After she has children, her motivation splits. She’ll never stop caring about those around her or the patients she sees, but her children are her first priority.

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

Olivia doesn’t like gossip. She doesn’t like when people talk about others behind their back in a negative way. It makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t like passive aggressive responses to situations. She genuinely believes that people are good, and if we all just try to have a little more empathy and understanding, the world would be a better place. 

She doesn't like rudeness, pettiness, or dishonesty.

Olivia prefers order and organization, so she dislikes chaos and messy places. 

If your MC / OC could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

If Olivia could change anything, she’d find a cure for childhood cancer. She takes each case to heart and watching children struggle is something that is very hard for her. She would never trade her time at Edenbrook for anything, and she feels guilty for even thinking it, but she is grateful when she opens her own practice that most of her cases become regular checkups and normal/everyday illnesses.

What is your MC / OC’s favorite quote or song?

“My favorite things in life don't cost any money. It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time." — Steve Jobs

“You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot - it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that, I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.” ― Maya Angelou

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." —Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." — Mary Anne Radmacher

“Even miracles take a little time.” — Fairy GodMother (Cinderella) 

“Happily ever after is about finding happiness within yourself and holding on to it through any storm that comes your way." —Chris Colfer

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC / OC?  (It can be why you created them, how they’ve inspired you, or you could write a little blurb as if it is coming from your OC - an acceptance speech. :) )

Ahhh what else to say about my precious Olivia?! She truly brings me so much joy.  

If you’ve been in this fandom long enough, you’ll remember I was an Ethan romancer when OH first released. I enjoyed Ethan/MC’s dynamic. They totally reminded me of Thomas Hunt x MC. However, just before the pandemic, I wrote Bryce, thinking it was a one off thing, but as the world started to shut down, things got darker and scarier, Bryce Lahela’s sunshine and encouragement was something that resonated with me. I tried to make Olivia fit in the role of MC, but I just didn’t like the setup of MC with Bryce. So I made Olivia an original character. Taking her out of that MC role gave me so much more freedom with her and so much more freedom for telling her and Bryce’s story. I loved being able to see where each story would take them. I’m eternally grateful to Olivia (and Bryce) for helping me get through the Covid Pandemic. Having her and Bryce and their friends and family helped me have something positive and hope-filled to hold onto.

Olivia is actually really competitive. You might not see it or notice it at first, but if you’ve ever been a part of any competition with her, you’ll see she will not hold back. 

Olivia has a black belt in taekwondo, even though she never talks about it. She got it in High School. She wanted to do something to challenge herself and she wasn’t participating in any team sports, though she did try to get a pingpong team started in her school but it never took off. 

Olivia volunteered with Habitat for Humanity for a summer in the Dominican Republic.

Olivia has Scottish roots and has always dreamed of going to Scotland. She hasn’t gotten there yet, but one day!

Olivia is almost as lucky to have such good friends in Casey and Merida as I am to have @jerzwriter and @lilyoffandoms in my life. I can’t even begin to express how special they are to me and how I treasure their friendship.

Thank you to everyone who has ever supported Olivia. She is truly a special character who is so close to my heart. The fact that she is truly an original character and you still adore her means so much to me. I can’t say thank you enough. The amount of serotonin I get from writing and sharing her with you should be illegal, and then when anyone interacts, my heart explodes with unicorns and rainbows and all the sunshine. I’m eternally grateful for the support of Olivia, Bryce, and their little world. Thank you!!! 

[archivalofsins]

I'm glad I don't look in the tag like the shit that passes my dash is like stuff I know, and then Mikoto being hypersexualized on a bimonthly basis with the implied impression that it's fine as long as it's a male being sexualized. I have no stake in it one way or the other. If that's fun to some, it's just fun, and I'm certain other characters are sexualized just as much in different circles. Maybe I'm just lucky enough not to have seen that.

Yet that again would be due to people recognizing subconsciously or not that hypersexualizing certain characters of the cast is problematic on some level. I don't see this sort of discussion as often around Yuno despite the content within her music videos. I don't see it around Mahiru or Kotoko as much either. This is excluding every other character that was a child when Milgram started all together.

This may sound like a complaint or a dig at this fandoms ethics, but it isn't because literally most fandoms treat male characters like this. This isn't something the Milgram fanbase created or anything it's quite common.

It's why Persona 5 wrote those story beats around Ryuji how they did- Because when sexual harrassment happens to a man in fiction it's comedy when it happens to a woman in fiction it's either horror or very notably a moral failing on the one doing it. Or maybe again I've just gotten lucky and haven't read a lot of egregious shit in that regard.

The way all fandom tends to hypersexualize men in general is a byproduct of how the sexual issues of men are discussed in media and ignorance. The same as it is when it comes to hypersexualization and caricaturing of female characters past and present as well. I don't want this to come off as me saying being overly sexualized is a male issue alone. Because it's not. This is a very reductionist explanation of sexualization in media, something that affects all genders differently.

There's much more to it than what I'm saying here. Plus, not everyone does this with the intent of demeaning a character or reducing them to their sexual appeal alone. Some people just find a design sexy or aesthetically appealing that's pretty reasonable. Displaying why that is- is reasonable as well.

However, when that is put alongside comments like "I'd never judge a female character like this, of course, I have some class." It starts to make me raise an eyebrow just a bit. Like, I end up wondering like um why not though?

Hate to be openly pansexual (no i don't this is hyperbole) but um, women are hot, lol. What does no one else think so? Is it bad to point out the features of the Milgram women too. I'm sorry but Mahiru is hot she dresses well and homely she has a decent figure and she is not lacking in the chest department.

It really comes down to preference at the end of the day. Am i going to sit here and say Mikoto looks average? No, like Mikoto, Kazui, Mahiru, and Shidou are all genuinely attractive and can be somewhat charismatic people. Ya know something that a good few murderers are. That's kind of the point of them being the adults of the group.

They are the end result of everyone here younger than them and are more than likely the best at what they do.

Outside of that, it would be weird of me to hold anybody to a certain standard when it comes to what they're attracted to in fiction. Unless they are romanticizing a criminal act or a child. Gotta make that really clear. Since that isn't really occurring here, it is kind of free game. Go nuts, really.

I just find it interesting that everything a person would ethically have an issue with someone doing to a character that's a woman has been done to Mikoto with reckless abandon.

From hyperfocusing on the measurements of his body, overtly sexualizing him regardless of how covered up he is, making assumptions about his romantic or sexual preferences. It's like everything that would make anyone rightfully a creep if they did it to a woman whether that be in real life or in fiction has been done to this one fictional dude to the point it technically happens in cycles. I can tell when a month has ended based on if this man's body is being talked about sometimes, and I shouldn't be able to do that at any time.

It's impressive. I need to note again that I'm not saying this because I'm a prude or to protect Mikoto's very nonexistent innocence. It's just a funny and interesting double standard to look into within any fandom, not just this one. I know it's all in good fun, and this isn't meant to call it out or anybody in any way.

It's just meant to be me going,

"Hey, this is a funny thing that hasn't really been questioned that much that actually ties into other writing tropes in media that are pretty bad. Let's talk about it."

Even if it is not that deep.

Personally, I've always found it interesting as daughter of a guy that suffered interpersonal partner violence and being raised in a community where the sexual assault of both men and women is prominently discussed to see how men and women are sexualized not only in media but by fanbases. Of course, I'm way more interested in this when it comes to black people. However, when a good example of the differences is sitting right in front of me, it's hard to overlook it.

Better excuse, though- Mahiru is hot, too! Maybe stop talking about how she's delusional and instead discuss how she had low confidence and rejection sensitivity. Causing her to not understand what she was doing was too much for the situation as well as made it difficult for her to let the fact that she was not accepted by someone she liked go. Similarly to Mu.

Like maybe this line from This Is How To Be In Love With You deserves a bit more focus,

"What do you think? I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked."

A common question for one to ask their partner about the outfits they put on.

Or this one in I Love You,

"Sigh... No appetite, I can’t sleep, my hair’s a mess. What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me."

I'm not hungry, I can't sleep, and worst of all- I'm not even looking good right now. Yeah fuck it actually this is a Mahiru appreciation post now that woman served this community several different outfits and this bastard only gave two fuck Mikoto stop complimenting this man for his cycling body.

Yeah, he's fit. We know! The man bikes to work to stay in shape and practices swinging a bat when angry.

But guess what-

Mahiru jogs, and she even has a cute jogging outfit. We've never even seen this man on a bike. Let alone in a cycling outfit.

Q.04 Are you picky when it comes to fashion?

Mikoto: Of course I am. Nobody would want to ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, right?

Oh, you're picky huh. People wouldn't ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, yeah... So, why does Mahiru Shiina's first music video look like a fashion catalogue-

While all we see from you is you putting your clothes where they belong,

Sorry, I got heated there. It's not a fashion competition because we clearly know who would win that. Long story short, Mahiru has a cute design too.

[blueikeproductions]

Some Chinese trading cards based on TFONE came out, and they show off models of two of the other ancient Primes.

Spoilers obviously.

The movie shows us all 13, but because of the nature of the story we don’t really get a good look at any of them besides Alpha Trion.

These cards show off the designs of Quintus Prime and Micronus Prime.

Quintus takes heavy cues from his Aligned design.

But simplifies it greatly and pushes the design into a clearer Hindu god like direction.

I like to think he sounds like Apu and, per a friend’s idea, did this to the Quintessons:

Because all the Primes had Cogs, they all can Transform (which runs counter to Aligned’s idea of Amalgamous Prime being the first one to Transform and pass down the Cog, but then Aligned contradicts this with Nexus Prime being able to Transform also, so…), but into what we don’t know. Once more Quintus eludes us into what he turns into, though this design has notable wings, so maaaaybe he turns into a jet? At this version looks capable of Transforming, vs his Aligned & EarthSpark designs.

I still kinda prefer the monk design of EarthSpark Quintus, and I still like to think he Transforms into a G1 style Quint ship.

But I’m hazarding a guess the upcoming Age of Primes toy line will probably use the TFONE design as a basis, so maybe we’ll finally learn what he turns into.

The TFONE Quints do loosely resemble Quintus, so maybe this toy is already a hint at what Quintus Transforms into.

Micronus meanwhile looks like this.

He looks like a hybrid of the RiD15 Micronus and ROTB Rhinox.

I like that they kept the RiD15 body type, as I prefer Micronus being a squat, bulky guy like Hey Arnold’s Ernie Potts vs the hard to read skinny design they had for Aligned originally.

Still don’t know what Micronus turns into in TFONE, though the RiD15 design implies he’s a Buzzsaw like Jetstorm and Slipstream.

Funny enough, like how the movie never clarifies if the Quintessons were created by Quintus Prime, Mini-Cons, Micronus’ descendants in modern media, are never referenced as existing on TFONE Cybertron. The Miners are tiny until they get their Cogs, but they’re not supposed to be Mini-Cons, so. -shrugs- Modern media also says the Mini-Cons are native to Cybertron’s moons, a nod to their original creator, Unicron, being disguised as Cybertron’s moon in Armada; so maybe the TFONE Mini-Cons are up there chilling on the Moons, lol.

The movie made the wise choice to keep things simpler for casual audiences, but the modern 13 Primes are themed around certain races, genders, powers, and technologies, and it feels like writers are never sure on what to do with them because of this. Onyx Prime still makes more sense as the main antagonist for RiD15 because of the emphasis on animal type Decepticons, but they used The Fallen for rule of cool and marketable reasons. I feel like Cyberverse could’ve had Vector Prime as a central character due to the show’s habit of flashbacks and time skips over Alchemist/Maccadam, and Quintus Prime to better tie things to the Quintessons. I feel like Liege Maximo would’ve worked well in Cyberverse too but I don’t know what he’d DO either…

Still now that we have a better look at the TFONE Primes, they look cool, and I want to talk about the other designs once we get proper character models, so stay tuned for that.

My current guess now, until we get toys that say otherwise, is the upcoming Primes toys might use TFONE’s designs as a basis, as the intent was to use TFONE as the new backstory anyway. I suspect aspects of Cyberverse and EarthSpark might influence things though, as those who got a good look at TFONE Alchemist say he takes most of his look from Cyberverse Alchemist Prime.

So hopefully we don’t have much longer to see toy wise.

[yelena-bellova]

Let me first say that I hold absolutely zero hate for any community, any minority, any gender. While I know it would be convenient for whoever disagrees with this post if I were a hateful, racist, homophobic asshole, that’s not the case. I also bear no ill will towards Masali Baduza. These are my opinions that no one else has to agree with.

I don’t like the Michaela/Michael change.

1: It’s a direct f-you to the book fans.

I have read only one Bridgerton book and didn’t get into the show till 2022 but I have known for a long time that Francesca and Michael are one of the most popular couples. I’ve known WHWW is tied with AOFAG for the most popular book. I know that Michael Stirling is a sacred name in this fandom. People have been waiting years to laugh at him, to be charmed by him, to swoon over him for years.

And now…he’s never going to exist.

Imagine if a queer character were made heterosexual. The community would be screaming. It’s not the gender politics influencing people’s emotions on the subject, it’s losing a character as they were written. We trust those who adapt literature to stay on the basic path of the story with the usual minor changes. Michaela having the same general vibes as Michael is not the same thing. This creative choice is relegating WHWW essentially to just general inspiration.

2: Jess Brownell comments while discussing the change were bad.

“I know for people who love the book When He Was Wicked that Michael Stirling is one of their favorite characters. I understand that people are going to have feelings about the fact that this character won’t appear exactly as they expected.”

“I would also just say that the book still stands. Michael Stirling still exists in book world.”

So…that’s it? Go read the book? That’s supposed to be enough? I’ll say it again, FANS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR MICHAEL FOR YEARS. They deserve more than “lol sad for you. Go read the book!” As the show runner for a popular adaption, it’s a poor answer.

Jess also included comments about how she related as a queer woman to Francesca feeling different from her family in WHWW. Ok, great! By all means, write a personal queer storyline for your show. Please do not take a beloved character and erase them because you felt a certain way reading the book.

The fans are the only reason why the show is so popular. While no creative team should let the fans dictate every move they make, it’s very clear they ignored them entirely when it came to the love for Francesca’s story. Going this much against what the fans have 100% reasonably expected is a move that kills successful shows.

3: It’s poor representation.

Genderbending a role is the absolute laziest way to bring representation to a project. Rather than craft a new character, studios take pre-written material and give it to a woman, a POC, someone disabled or someone from the LGBTQ community to appease those asking for representation. In this case, the amount of changes they will have to make for Francesca’s storyline will create more work than it would have taken to just create a new character with their own story. The entire basis of Francesca’s season requires a male lead.

If you want representation, if you want the audience see themselves in the characters, WORK FOR IT. Don’t put forth the least effort possible and upcycle a pre-existing story. As a member of multiple of the aforementioned communities, I don’t want the bare minimum when it comes to feeling represented.

Not to mention that Francesca is one of the strangest choices of characters to make queer. Whether or not they tried, the Bridgerton writers created two brilliant opportunities for LGBTQ representation with Benedict and Eloise. Both have been theorized about (and Benedict was confirmed this season) for years and they could have written both/either a full queer storyline and it would have made total sense. Fans would have loved it! Francesca’s sexuality being changed from the book feels forced.

4: It cancels out the depth of John and Francesca’s relationship.

To spend a whole season building up John and Francesca’s love story only to end it with laying groundwork for another relationship is…so bad.

John spent the season putting in effort to come out of his shell for Francesca. He is the first person outside her family she’s comfortable enough to connect with. They find something in one another that cannot be duplicated. With Francesca utterly flustered by another person after JUST MARRYING John is a disservice to both of them. It takes away so much of the relationship’s meaning if Francesca now has an eye, even fleetingly, on someone else. Not to mention her face after kissing him? That is so far from book Francesca’s devotion and love for her husband. By initiating Francesca’s draw to Michaela, especially through the foreshadowing of Violet’s speech leading up to their meeting, the show has made John a present afterthought.

Let me finish with this…

It is NOT homophobic to dislike the change.

It is NOT racist to dislike the change.

It is NOT misogynistic to dislike the change.

Unless someone is spewing direct and discriminatory hate, they are simply a disappointed fan. 99% of the comments I’ve seen are people saying yes to queer storylines, yes to representation in Bridgerton itself, but begging not to dismantle another storyline to bring those things forth.

[lunacornfan2k24]

Hello IEYTD fandom!

Do you ship a rarepair with almost no fics?

Have I started a fic or series that you wish would update faster?

So you despise the fact that we still don’t know what Phoenix and Zor are up to in The Spy and The Liar 2: Zor’s Revenge?

Halloween is a week away and I’m up for trick or treating in my inbox again for fic requests!

However, with the event from earlier this month in mind and knowing how this went last time I am going to be changing up the rules.

I will not be taking original fic requests (there are some exceptions which I will get to later)

This past year I’ve learned the hard way that it’s pointless and thankless to try and write what I think other people will enjoy and appreciate. So I am going to make the focus more on my current wips.

Anyone who stops by my inbox on Halloween can choose which fic/series I’m currently working on will get my focus. Send a message with “trick or treat” and the fic of your choice and I will dedicate the next 500 words to you and will work on the fics on a first come first serve basis. Your choices are:

The Spy and The Liar 2: Zor’s Revenge - the latest entry in The Celebrity Crush series - a gender neutral reader/Agent Phoenix x John Juniper enemies to lovers slow burn

The Devil Hath Power - the latest entry in Phoenix the Vampire Hunter - a she/her reader/Agent Phoenix x John Juniper vampire hunter au

The Spy and The Actor - a non-binary Agent Phoenix x John Juniper, a rewrite of the games, written as if John Juniper is the one writing the fanfic, people have fun roleplaying in the comments

Unnamed nsfw John Juniper fic - the last entry in Evil is the New Sexy - a gender neutral Agent Phoenix x every villainous character, will feature voyeurism and dubious consent

Golden Ichor - a gender neutral reader/Agent Phoenix x John Juniper incubus/succubus au that will have some strong nsfw themes, will also contain John Juniper x Reginald Crane and Roxana Prism x The Fabricator

Unnamed canon divergence fic - John Juniper discovers that the Mimic Mask is set up to electrocute him, no ships

I’m sure you can see a pattern here lol

I’ll answer each ask with the 500 words I’ve written because of them! The only context you’ll have will be what’s included in those 500 words. No more, no less. Only one request per person and no anon asks.

I’ll make all of my fics will be available for everyone to read this week even if they don’t have an ao3 account so that it’s fair for everyone.

Now for the exceptions

I opened up requests on Halloween last year because I wanted to expand my writing horizons and write for pairings that don’t get as much attention. That…didn’t happen. So I’m offering the opportunity again this year.

I will except two (2) fic requests for ships that I have not written for yet (the side pairings listed above don’t count and are open to be requested). This will again be on a first come first serve basis. Just leave the fic request, characters/ship, POV, and Phoenix pronouns (if relevant). The rules for these requests will be the same as last year:

I will not write about other peoples ocs or interpretations (no Cyan, no Seraphina, no Rhodo, etc) even if you have permission from the creators or created them yourselves. I will write for my own ocs if that interests people (ie. Alex/Tiffany, Mason/Felix, etc.)

Can be nsfw. Dubious consent is okay but not full on rape/non con. (Despite what others may think I’m not actually comfortable writing it) Evil is the New Sexy is full of possible dub con examples

Don’t forget to say “Trick or Treat” in your ask!

No anon asks and no one can request both fics so don’t spam me at 1 in the morning trying to get both please

So that it’s fair to everyone, fic requests will open at 7am EDT

Happy Halloween! 🎃

[newhologram]

In response to me saying “Cruelty and suffering are not requirements to create a strong society. ☺️” , I got these comments: but survival of the fittest and natural selection is☺️. That what life is pookie, you either blend in with society or you be “different” and get eaten alive 😘😘🥰. I used to be bullied when I was younger and for a while up until a few years ago and once I finally “gave in” and tried being normal, it changed my life. I made hella friends and connections who have helped me through life because people will accept you for being normal and when people accept you, they will boost and build you up and have your back. there is a huge difference between bulling and abuse 💀 (This commenter’s page is full of car pics. They have what is considered to be a socially acceptable interest. This is an important little detail in this conversation about “normal.”)

Pro-bullying is a very concerning worldview, because this is how people convince themselves that it’s okay to use violence of any kind on those who are different from you, simply because they are different, not because they did anything bad or hurt anyone. People who believe that “actually, bullying is a Good Thing because it makes us conform, which is Correct. Anyone who does not conform is Bad, and deserves abuse until they finally squash themselves into the mold we’ve decided is Normal.” It’s hard to understand if you’ve got any kind of grasp on empathy, or even if you don’t experience empathy but understand that differences are to be celebrated and that abusing people into hiding these harmless differences is, uh, bad? The only people I see defending bullying as some “necessary corrective action” in society are those who seem to think they turned out well and that life is great, except they really want to hurt other people for being different. Like, they’re thirsty for it. Their jaws chatter for the feeling of a slur between their teeth. They’re salivating at the thought and many can’t hold back, as evidenced by the comments I get on my “hey, bullying comes from insecure people” posts calling me ugly, stupid, weird, saying my hair is bad, my eyebrows are bad, I talk weird, I make weird faces/movements (ableism lol), my gender sucks or whatever, blah, blah. Which is strange to me because: isn’t the basis of so many belief systems, what we were taught in kindergarten is “Hey, we’re all unique and that’s by design. Be yourself! Also be kind, don’t hurt people.”

So… No, sorry. I will never agree with this stance. “Don’t be weird and you won’t get bullied”—All the things I’m labeled “weird” for are completely harmless. I’ll never be normal and that’s okay. How about just be kind to people even if they are different? Me being different isn’t hurting you or anyone else. 

What people like this fail to realize is that for many of us, there is no way to ever really “pretend” to be “normal.” We will never fit in, we’ll always stand out in some way, we’ll always be who we are. If the choice is between: use all my energy to hide who I am and still get abused just so I can have fake friendships with shallow and insecure people vs Just let go and be who I am, distance from people who don’t accept me unconditionally, make friends with cool, kind people Uh, I’m gonna go with the healthier, happier option? Wtf?

What you are saying is Good/Correct is to hide anything that is different: disabilities, gender, romantic or sexual orientation, very niche interests (which is a lifeline to ND’s)

Obsessively passionate about video games and comic books? I was “not normal” for this in the 90’s and even 2000’s. Should I have conformed and been interested in, I don’t know, boybands and pencil-thin eyebrows like my peers instead, to avoid their daily torment? Would that have made me “fit” to survive the world, or perhaps is it the bullies who are in the wrong for being horrible little devils to a child who just had different interests? (No, clearly, I was the one in the wrong for daring to exist, huh?)

Sensitive to stimuli? Probably my biggest autistic struggle, compounded by unending chronic pain. So I shouldn’t self-regulate at all, because that makes me stand out as Not Normal and make me a target? Instead of, maybe people should just accept that neurodivergent people exist and that it hurts no one if I need to decompress in a dark room and wear earplugs because my nervous system overloads easy? 

Ethnically mixed and hairy in places my white, blonde peers weren’t? That doesn't hurt anyone either. The bullying I got from my body’s natural state was so traumatic I started shaving my arms and legs at age 8. But it didn't stop; just the fact that I had hair to shave was another reason to bully me. I got called disgusting for being hairy, disgusting for being smooth. Conforming did nothing to stop the harm. Happen to be queer? Guess I should have “given in” and forced myself to be straight and cisgender because, what? To please whom? To appear more normal so I will get “acceptance and support” by people who would drop me if I wasn’t like them? How is the argument literally “either be exactly the same as us or we’ll hurt you! :)” solid in any way? It sounds unhinged. Not a social environment I would want to be part of at all. (Spoiler alert:  As an adult I have friends and a support system of people who like me for the ways I am different and myself, and that’s actually what is life-changing. That’s real love.)

All of that was “different” enough to get me verbally and psychologically (and a few times physically) abused for over a decade in school. I did nothing wrong. I was just different. 

To fit in and have a better life, I should hide all of this, because “that’s life?” What other ppl decide is normal and socially acceptable is “life”? We’re humans. We have free will. We can make the choice not to “eat people alive” just for harmless differences. There’s a reason these people try to justify it by relating to what they perceive as “mindless, empathyless” animal behavior and it isn’t good. 

And to address one of their comments: Incorrect. Bullying is a form of abuse. I endured sustained, systematic attacks on my sense of self and my body by my bullies for my entire school life and even early adulthood. That is abuse. Period.

I wanted to do a proper video reply to this but I haven’t got the spoons. I might just script this into voice-to-text at some point. 

[tiredfairywings]

[CLOSED for now] Wҽʅƈσɱҽ ƚσ Tɯιʂƚҽԃ Rҽʋҽɾιҽ~

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❀﹋﹋❀﹋﹋❀﹋﹋❀

My name is Mafuki and I'm looking to run an art group for twisted wonderland! We're looking for twst yume artists who are also looking for friends!

The goal of our group will be to collaborate to create artpieces together (ex. art style challenge), and collab with each other (ex, 2 artists one base)! Something I'd love is for us to create a video with our ocs and their love interests together! All of this is non-profit so no one, including me will be gaining any monetary gain (unless you wanna post YOUR own pieces online aka not the other members unless you get permission). This is all for fun and you own the pieces you draw! We don't gatekeep pieces lol

We would love to make a group-home for people who just love twst and are passionate about it! The goal is for us to become a really close group of friends who just…love twst. If you have any questions, feel free to comment/pm me!

p.s. currently most members like to rp if youre into that

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❀﹋﹋❀﹋﹋❀﹋﹋❀

𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓

Just because you reply and fill in an introduction does not mean you'll automatically get an invite link to the discord group.

Due to the intent of the group, I would like to stay as far away from Drama as possible but also allow for there to be a safe space for anyone to vent and feel accepted. The goal is to operate similarly to Nightcord@25 [a project sekai reference].

As the person who decided to create the group, I hold all responsibility for anything that goes wrong and as such, I'll be speaking to each potential member first through chatting. There is nothing you need to do except be yourself. This is simply a vibe check. I'm looking to foster a safe environment for all those involved and will not tolerate extreme personas.

❀⌇Guidelines Before Applying:

➼ Must be between 16-25 (if you're slightly older, it's still okay! Around 20's is preferred but vibes are the most important aspect) ➼ Your race, gender, sexuality of both you and oc WILL NOT eliminate you. The goal is for this to be a safe space and as such, the only thing that matters is personality. Timezone also does not matter! ➼If you have a mental illness that is okay!! As long as you won't let it effect/use it as an excuse to hurt other members it is alright. Everyone I've recruited (including myself) has experience with various mental illnesses. ➼Even though this is an art group, art ability does NOT matter!! The goal is for us to have fun, and all that matters is that you're passionate about twst. And that you actually draw lol No need to know how to edit videos! As long as I have the assets I can edit the videos for the group! Bases are also okay with credit. ➼Since we're all making yume art, I'd like to try to keep to different characters per person ➼ Remain Relatively: Drama free, generally will have a good vibe aka not being judgmental, and is alright with criticism. Communicates well with other members and does not belittle.

Current taken characters: Azul, Malleus*, Riddle*, Epel, Ruggie, Silver, Neige, Rook Potentially Taken characters**: None as of now

*If someone wants Malleus or Riddle, both of the other members are fine with taking Jamil. It's a first come, first accepted basis. Ex. If someone wants Malleus, the person who has claimed malleus will take Jamil, but if someone wants Riddle, Jamil has already been taken by the previous person so the person with Riddle will not switch.

**DISCLAIMER: I accept people on a first come-first taken basis. It's purely on vibes so if I like someone's vibes then they're accepted along with their Yume choice. If I don't like their vibes, then I'll let someone else take that yume for the group.

𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒

If you're cool with everything, feel free to fill out this form and dm it to me! I'll speak with you shortly :3

TEMPLATE: ❀⌇Name (preferred, not irl obviously): ❀⌇Age or Age range: ❀⌇Timezone: ❀⌇Yume Interest: ❀⌇MBTI and Enneagram (not necessary --> I know psychology quite well so I can usually tell your top 3 so don't worry if you're mistyped or don't know your type [This is just for me to keep in mind so I can be mindful of you as a person]): ❀⌇Other interests: ❀⌇Important things to note (ie. accommodations): ❀⌇Triggers: ❀⌇Extra Info: ❀⌇Art Samples (just so I know you are able to draw! Preferably yume art but otherwise is okay!!)

❀﹋﹋❀﹋﹋❀﹋﹋❀

Template Credit: https://aminoapps.com/c/templatesand/page/item/soft-welcome-message/jlEV_rbcoIlpdadYbEoNdgelnl55woxdj Document below is linked if you would like info on the others who have joined!

𝑺𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅~

[lottieurl]

incoherent travis related ramblings ahead. proceed with caution

so an anon wanted to know what i meant by calling travis's arc a deconstruction of gender and i'm not sure if i can properly word anything that's bouncing around my skull but here's to trying. so i think there are a lot of interesting writing decisions for travis even early on (now that we know where they take his character after that) like even in the first half of s1 where he's honestly making it so hard not to dislike him it's clear all that toxic masculinity is hurting him as well and he basically hides behind misogyny. he avoids being vulnerable around nat by lashing out at her with misogynistic insults just to stop her from seeing his insecurities. he makes other misogynistic comments around the girls seemingly just to keep them at arm's length. and normally that's something that makes a space unsafe for girls and women. a guy who seems to be bad at controlling his emotions and who is vocally misogynistic is a red flag both in real life and in fiction. and they put him with nat! and yes on first watch i Hated that. we learn that nat had a misogynistic violent father and then travis points a gun at her and shames her for her sex life. but what they do next though is so.. fascinating. doomcoming comes around and travis is taken advantage of and assaulted in a way we are used to seeing female characters being treated on screen (and honestly in the way that is common for most women to fear in real life). he's drugged, he gets kind of pressured into having sex he clearly didn't really want to have and then gets sexually assaulted. i think it does say something interesting about power and thus is a deconstruction of gender in a way and kind of refreshing in that it doesn't shy away from showing that. especially when there still is a persistent "feminist" view (hinging on bioessentialism and cissexism really) that argues men's violence is some inherent part of men as a whole that women aren't capable of on the basis of gender or even more to the point on the basis of their biology/"sex"

like i think it's narratively so good? because you're primed to think like. he's the danger. he lashes out and he's misogynistic. but they're in the wilderness where the power dynamics of regular society that they're from no longer apply and so he's in danger now by virtue of being a guy their age (which actually parallels the way ben in s1 is stripped of all his authority AND his health is put at risk because of a girl's crush on him) like all jokes aside and all gay headcanons aside there is obviously heteronormative framing that most of those girls look at the world through. and they're all drugged and traumatized and he very much becomes the target Because of his gender. even would go as far as to say around 1x08 is where travis becomes objectified (which in turn makes that scene from the first lake scene where they're like is he actually hot? kind of dreadful) and so what that means is that for him to stop being A Target is to become one of them which is what we see in s2 and what we call girlcoding of travis martinez lol

plus what kevin said about him wanting to belong in a group is really interesting. and i love the way his interactions with the rest shift in s2. him being A Guy is a huge part of s1. like he's not one of them not because he's not on the team - neither is misty she literally just carries equipment - but because he's a guy. and he does as much to alienate himself from them as they do to other him in turn. but in s2 TO ME it very much feels like his gender stopped being relevant and through that he removed the target from his back. and that happens through him joining them in all the rituals which neither ben or javi ever do. travis the first ever genuinely girlcoded character (real not clickbait)

[charlottesbookclub]

Tarot card and foundational young life event for alistair and garrett if thats ok?? 👉👈👉👈

send me a headcanon request 🥰

hello my dear!! 💕💕 yes omg that's absolutely okay!! ☺️☺️ I'm so exited to do these! 🥰🥰

Alistair

🃏 – what tarot card do I associate with them?

idk this might be a basic choice but I simply have to go with the hermit. not only is Alistair quite literally a hermit, but I also think he really resonates with the meaning of the card. the hermit is all about turning inward and silencing the distractions of the outside world to better connect with yourself, which it seems that Alistair has spent pretty much all of his life doing. it's a card that is all about quiet contemplation and internal retreat, which is so perfect for Alistair's character

🐣 – what was a foundational event in their young life?

since I've spent so much time thinking about Alistair's backstory as I work on "king of all birds," I've come up with a few events that I think were really pivotal for him, but I think the most significant has to be the first time he witnessed falconry and the first time he tried it himself. falconry seems to be his one real joy and passion, and so I imagine that his introduction to the sport must have been hugely significant for a young Alistair. he's someone who often seems to be a bit of an island and who gets stuck in his own head a lot, so I imagine that having that falcon on his arm was a way to connect him in a really significant way to something else, and to almost externalize himself a little bit. he has this animal there that he is now working in tandem with, and that he is, in some way, responsible for, and I think that gives him a sense of connection and grounding that he lacks elsewhere in his life. I think that letting that first falcon fly off his arm must have been something of a revelation for him, and gave him a feeling of purpose and belonging that he had never felt anywhere else

Garrett

🃏 – what tarot card do I associate with them?

for Garrett I'm picking the page of wands. like all pages in the tarot, the page of wands is about new beginnings and opportunities. in the context of the suit of wands – which is all about creativity – the page of wands is an enthusiastic, adventurous card that is full of energy and inspiration for the future. as a nomad who is driven by his sense of curiosity and taste for adventure, I think Garrett totally resonates with the associations of the page of wands

🐣 – what was a foundational event in their young life?

I find it so interesting that SM gave Garrett like no backstory at all. in the books, he's a more significant character than Alistair, and yet Alistair gets a complex, pages-long backstory in the guide, and for Garrett she was just like "lmao he grew up during the revolution and was a hot-headed patriot" and that's it. we get a little bit more of his backstory in the short film "Turncoats," although I'm not sure where those films stand in terms of being canon material. all this to say, I don't have a ton of basis in canon to speculate on his young life, but I'm also not going to let that stop me! going off "Turncoats," I like the idea that he had a sister who herself was kind of a rebel, and who Garrett was quite close to. one of the many things that american colonists resented about the british during the lead up to the revolution was the practice of billeting soldiers in private homes (that's why there's a whole amendment about not doing this in the bill of rights lol), and so I imagine that Garrett's family was forced to house a couple of british soldiers leading up to the war. because of gendered expectations of labor, his sister ended up having to do a lot of extra work (like cleaning and cooking for the soldiers, washing their clothing, etc.), and the soldiers were pretty rude about it, and maybe one of them even made advances that his sister was not interested in. Garrett was pissed about this, and was overall furious about the way the soldiers exploited his family and his sister in particular. I even imagine he challenged the soldiers to a duel one time but they just laughed him off which only made him angrier. I see this as a very personal way that he experienced an overreach of power, and something that formed his perception of rules and authority as he matured into a young man

[drbased]

i’m kind of a baby radfem and im learning about being gender critical and i definitely agree with most of it, the only part that i have thoughts about is the nonbinary identity. i believe that a gender non conforming woman and a nonbinary woman can mean the same thing. in that, i believe that you can be a nonbinary *insert sex here* and it basically just means you’re gender nonconforming. and then it’s like well why do we need two different terms to mean the same thing and we definitely don’t, but i think it’s dangerous to conflate being nonbinary with being agender bc it’s not the same thing and it just makes gender rhetoric even more stupid & ridiculous lol. i’ve seen plenty of people identify as nonbinary and still identify with their sex-based gender. i also believe you can be female and see yourself as a woman and still use they/them or even he/him pronouns. what do u think??

(Bear with me on this, this is a long response but I hope you find it illuminating)

People regularly accuse radfems of being nazis/right wingers and I take those accusations incredibly seriously, and as I result I regularly take time to doubt my position. But the thing I keep coming back to is that:

There is no proof, and perhaps there cannot be proof, that gender exists: it is fundamentally metaphysical, spiritual, soul-like, a product of mind-body dualism, the belief that there is some nebulous internal sense of self that happens to share some labels with sex classification but also happens to completely subsume it in modern leftist discourse, despite that

Regardless of whether or not 'gender' is real, it does not form the basis of the male class oppression of women as a class, and the moment you engage with any feminist theory this fact becomes impossible to ignore. There is no true biological backing behind race and yet we are (in theory, anyway) comfortable with being able to identify and codify the oppressor and oppresses classes in that scenario; however, arguments from the mainstream left will vaguely gesture towards sex being 'fluid' as justification for the dissolution of classic feminist arguments. It's important to be suspicious of why this is and who might benefit from it;

To build on point one, due to the fact that gender has no material basis in the real world, the only 'signifiers' for it are ones that already exist as cultural schemas - and these are, naturally, taken from existing sex roles designed to uphold misogyny and, more broadly, patriachy itself. 'Gender fluid' people are at this point infamous for their tik toks of when they're male or female, and the way they demonstrate this is through short hair and comfortable clothes vs long hair and feminine styling.

Occam's razor + feminist analysis will inevitably point towards women 'identifying' with nonbinary, agender etc. simply being women who are uncomfortable with the misogynistic connotations of femaleness, and who naturally wish to disassociate from them. When you see things under that lens, you can immediately notice patterns of behaviour and language that signal the belief system they hold. To 'identify' as anything is fundamentally meaningless, and signals nothing to both yourself and others except perhaps language. As a person recovering from depression, I have been detaching myself from all rigid concepts of classifying myself and instead focussing much more on being who I am in the moment. It it much healthier to be this way (and a lot less stressful, too)

When we call ourselves 'women', this is nothing more a neutral description of our biology. And due to our status as an oppressed class, especially one based on our biology, it is of paramount importance that we retain language that succinctly names us as such. Dworkin states in Pornography that one of the powers that men have is the power of naming. We still live under patriarchy, and the language we use cannot be separated from male ideas and male thought. Men had, and have, no problem naming us as the oppressor class when it benefits them (especially in the case of prostitution and pornography), but as it has become less, let's say' popular to be seen as a man in recent years, we have seen an explosion of transgender rhetoric enter the popular consciousness. Without the ability to recognise ourselves as women, we lose statistics, we lose safe spaces away from the oppressor class, and we lose class consciousness.

As for using 'they/them' and 'he/they' pronouns - well, I'm a straight woman, but I'm aware that there is a certain lesbian tradition of using masculine pronouns. But that's in a very different context to what's being described here. I've already addressed language but let's put a laser-sighted focus on pronouns for a second:

As a culture, we default to 'he' pronouns for a reason. For a long time, we were 'mankind' and everything akin to humanity is given masculine pronouns. Cute little critters are assumed to be male, probably all your soft toys are male, the most basic of doodles are assumed to be male and only allowed to be female once they are given a dress. It should be no surprise that women who want to escape the shackles of femininity want to be called he/him - they want access to the percieved full humanity of men. Meanwhile, the only times we attribute she/her to things other than people are to things like cars, ships, and natural disasters (with the exception of mother nature, of course) - tools of warfare, accessories of masculinity, and symbols of 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'.

There is a study somewhere that shows that when you use 'they/them' as a neutral pronoun, people assume male - especially if you're referencing a prestige profession. If I were to say, I went to the doctor yesterday, they were great - you would automatically assume a male doctor. This is no accident - as already stated, maleness is the default. Women who want to use they/them are dissociating themselves from femaleness but in doing so they are accidentally using language that signifies maleness. This is why feminist analysis is so important, and why 'identifying' as something holds little water in the real world. In an ideal world, perhaps they/them could be genuinely seen as neutral - but we don't live in an ideal world; we live in a world where women are oppressed.

So to answer part of your question, no, I do not believe that 'nonbinary' and 'gender non-conforming' are the same thing; nonbinary is an attempt at classifying someone according to some nebulous, unprovable sense of internal identity that has no real material impact - and any attempt to 'express' this gender are simply taking existing sex roles and mashing them together. Gender nonconforming has a different meaning in radfem circles as it does in transgender ones - TRAs take it to mean that someone is indentifying with a different gender than they were 'assigned' at birth, but radfems simply use it to describe the physical act of being a woman (or man) who doesn't conform to expected sex roles. I am 'gnc' but that's just a neutral descriptor of my dress-sense - and it's a loose descriptor because in many ways I'm definitely not gnc in my behaviour, although I am working on my self-confidence, especially in contexts such as physical fitness and DIY. Gnc is useful shorthand for 'not conforming to sex roles in some major capacity enough to be noticeable by others' - and the only reason it's important, especially for women, is because femininity (our expected behaviour) is designed by the patriarchy to dissociate us from our bodies and keep us decorative, fragile, weak and sexually vulnerable to men.