#This time of year always sucks bc I feel shit before I remember. Then I feel bad for forgetting

[mars-ipan]

Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed

[nexus-nebulae]

wow i WILDLY miscalculated the difference between kilograms and pounds

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

Fuck I missed the anniversaries of my grandparents deaths. I like to think my Nana would rather I was happy playing with my friends than being miserable over loosing her, but it still feels wrong.

[gregmarriage]

i’m so desperately in need of at least like a tiny piece of independence and getting frustrated when i can’t have it. me moving out is so laughable, bc i wouldn’t be able to cope, and it would be too dangerous, and it’s not like i actually have friends, or a partner i could live with (imao). but also, even if i did, it’s like wow, congrats, you’re my built in carer, and you’re gonna get annoyed with me, real fast <3

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

[hoshigray]

𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬, 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 | toji fushiguro

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Your ex-husband bringing the kids over for trick-or-treating is one thing; him wanting to spend the night at your place is another. But it's just for the night. There's no way one night can rekindle some old feelings...right?

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: ex-husband! Toji x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - the reader is around their mid-30s - Tsumiki (age 11) and Megumi (age 9) - mutual pining - kissing/makeout sessions - unprotected sex - Daddy kink - breast sucking + nipple play - fingering (f! receiving) - oral (f! receiving) - spooning + mating press - cervix fucking - breeding kink - praise - clitoral play (pressing and grinding) - pet names (baby, good girl, mama, princess, sweetie, sweet thing) - you and Toji have been divorced for five years - cameos: Gojo, Utahime and Mei Mei - mention of drool/spit and tears - humor bc I'm [not] funny.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 ��𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.6k (....dawg.)

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: happy Halloween, everyone!! so, randomly missed writing ex-husband! toji bc it's lowkey my favorite, soooo yeah, this is what we're doing to celebrate the end of the month! anywho, happy October, beautiful ppl, and tysm for reading my works!! Alsooo, ty for 2.8k!!!

“Trick-or-treat!!”

“Gasp—Oh my goodness!” 

“We came to celebrate Halloween! Also, Megumi forgot his toothbrush here again.”

Opening your door to children at the sunset of Halloween day isn’t out of the ordinary or anything special. However, it’s always a pleasant surprise when it’s two kids you hold dear to your heart. You greet them with a hug, two siblings you know too well to say you’re acquainted with. If anything, you’re practically family. 

The raven-haired brother, referred to as Megumi, speaks up. “It’s not my fault! Dad was rushing me last time.”

“Because you had to bring your stuffed animals last time, holding us back for your baseball practice.” Tsumiki, the older sister, snapped back. The two argue amongst themselves in front of you as you try to mediate. It’s no avail until another voice comes to the fray.

“All right, chill out, you two.” The voice belonged to the person approaching the porch stairs, your eyesight capturing the familiar figure walking up with two duffle bags. The one standing tall before you was the father of the children, Toji Fushiguro. Who’s also known as your one and only former husband. “Get inside and finish y’r homework, or else we’re goin’ back home.” 

The siblings stop bickering and head inside, taking off their shoes at the foyer and walking upstairs. Now that they’re gone, you turn to the man with the jet-black hair, his viridian orbs focused on you. The weather was chilly, so the man wore his usual dark denim jacket over his plain black sweatshirt, matching his jeans. “You look good, big guy. What’s in the bags?”

He greets you with a curled lip, and the scar on the side of his lip lifts. “Picked them up from their after-school sports, so it’s their sports gear and costumes for tonight. Mind helpin’ me here?” 

“Hmmm,” you merge your facial expressions to that of faux pondering, turning your back to Toji. “Nah, can’t. Got dinner to finish making.”

“Hmph, should’ve known.” He makes his way through between you and the front door. “Wouldn’t wanna break your pretty nails carrying heavy shit, huh, princess?” 

You glare at him using the nickname, hating his patronizing gaze. “From what I remembered, you would never let me carry the heavy stuff because you thought I was too fragile and easy to break. So how about that, Mr. Knight in Shining Armor?”

“Really? I don’t remember sayin’ all that before. You must’ve put me in a spell.” 

“Probably, I’ve been told I’m quite cute~.”

“Mmm, nah, more like an old hag of a witch.” Toji barks a laugh at your offended reaction, and he immediately ducks and heads for the stairs when you throw a sandal at him.

“At the very least, say I’m a cute witch, fucker.” You say the final word under your breath, grabbing the sandal you threw and heading back to the kitchen.

To say you and Toji were acquainted with one another would be the biggest understatement of the century. The two of you met a decade ago, fell madly in love, and married within a year of the relationship. When you tied the knot, Tsumiki had to have been two years old, and Megumi just turned one year old. You two had been together for four years after that, and you could confidently say those were one of [if not THE] best years of your life. You often second-guessed yourself being in a relationship with someone who had children, fearing that they wouldn’t like you or ignore you.

However, those worries were blown right away as the days went by. Every time you spent time with the children brought you three closer than ever; it was to the point that they saw you as their mother. How sweet! And there’s no denying that Toji loved you. The man would break someone’s nose for you  — yes, it happened before, and it wasn’t pretty — for you were his sweet little thing that kept him going.  

Well, if it was so great, why the divorce? Let’s just say you weren’t Toji’s first love. That title would have to be awarded to the Megumi’s mother. Even in her unfortunate passing, you can tell that Toji loved that woman like no other. It didn’t make you jealous or anything, seeing the man you love still mourn for a dead woman. Hell, you’d probably do the same if you were him. But, you can’t lie; it felt like you were cast over a “shadow” when it came to her influence. It was damn near suffocating to bear, especially in those four years of marriage. So, for your sake and his aching heart, you pulled him aside and suggested a divorce. And Toji didn’t fight you on the proposition, signing the papers and setting you free from the thick air.

Although things ended between you two, that didn’t mean things stopped being what they were. If anything, it was as if nothing happened at all. Even if you still don’t live under the same roof, you still make time to hang with the Fushiguros, whether invited to some occasion or exchange phone calls or texts to check up on them. Even now, five years after your separation, it warms your heart knowing that you get to interact with the people you care about. 

There are moments you find yourself missing living under the same roof with all three of them and living alone can be pretty lonely. But all in all, as long as they’re comfortable and trust you enough to be around, there’s no need to change things up again. Like right now — the four of you sit at the dinner table eating before the kids go off trick-or-treating.

“Are you going to trick-or-treat with us, Y/n?” The brown-haired child sitting next to you asks while finishing up her dinner. 

“Sorry, not this time, gotta be at a Zoom meeting for my job in a few minutes. But I do have someone else to take my place. Gojo will be here at around—Why are you two making that face?” You stop mid-sentence to notice Megumi and Toji at the other side of the table, displaying disgusted facial expressions at the mention of the white-haired other’s name.

“Why him?” They said in unison.

“Why not??” You question their irritation.

“He’s so annoying…” Again, in unison. Proof enough that they’re father and son.

You sigh as you get up to take your plate to the sink. “Oh, come on, you two, it’s not like he’ll be with you guys the entire night. He has a party at a friend’s he’s going to later.” 

“Isn’t he too old to trick-or-treat?” Tsumiki questions, noting that Gojo is way past his undergraduate years. 

“He is, but whatever gets that prick any free sweets,” Toji answers his daughter before getting up to put his dish in the sink. 

You exit the kitchen, head into the living room, and sit on the couch. The laptop you had placed there was ready to open and unlock, and you clicked on applications and windows to look through before your meeting started in the next three to two minutes. He should be here about—

DING-DONG!!

Now.

Right on cue, you motion for Toji to grab the front door, and he follows your command. “Kids, Gojo’s here!” You shout out to the two kids who still sit at the table. “When you’re done eating, you can go upstairs and put your costumes on. But whoever finishes last has to do the dishes.” You can hear commotion from the table as the brunette rushes to put her dish in the sink and dash for the stairs. Megumi groans to himself; you giggle when you hear him mutter an “Aww man…”

You pull out your headphones to connect to your laptop, put them in their respective ears, and prepare yourself for the meeting. Ignoring the faint passive-aggressive tones of your ex-husband when greeting Gojo at the door…

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Your eyes flutter open, noticing the lighting change around the living room. The orange sunlight no longer decorated the space, substituted with the gradual darkness that overtakes you. The only source of light you can figure out is the flashing from the television screen.

Aside from the TV, there are no other signs of life. There aren’t any signs of Tsumiki or Megumi around playing or causing a raucous. It could only mean the two are still trick-or-treating with Gojo. 

One blink, two blinks. I must’ve fallen asleep after the meeting… You hum while sinking to the couch, burying your face into the pillow. 

But…since when did your pillow act like it was breathing with a heartbeat? And…I smelt that cologne before…How?

“Ya awake now?”

You raise your head, realizing you are not lying on your couch. Technically, you were; however, you were lying on something else on the furniture with you – more like someone. 

It’s then you realize that you were lying on Toji during your entire slumber, him leaning on the end of the couch, one leg spread to make room for you to sleep on him while you sit on the other. And you can guess that you had your head on his chest, snuggling up to his warm figure. He looks at you with his green eyes now darkened by the room, yet you can see their glow from the television light. And that small smile he gives you, the scar on the right side of his lip lifted upward. The familiar butterflies in your stomach flutter like before. Like old times sake…That must be embarrassing, huh?

You frantically try to get off of him, “Sorry about that, I thought—“

“No, no,” Toji places a stern hand on your back, keeping you from moving further. “You were comfortable.” 

You stare at him for a few seconds until your face contours to a look, and a smile starts to creep up while you situate yourself back to your original position, pressing your face back on his chest to listen to the beats of his heart again. “I recall having this couch all to myself not too long ago, so where’d you come from?”

“Well, I wanted to watch some sports highlights, but I figured you’d kick my ass if I pulled you off and had you sleep on the floor instead.” With the click of your tongue, he chortles. You bet your ass I would. “So, I decided to have ya sleep on me while I watch TV.”

“What’s wrong with the other side of the couch? It’s quite vacant and enough for a big guy like you.” 

“True,” his hand rubs circles on your back, an old habit he did when he used to have you like this. “But then I’d be lonely.” 

You titter. “That’s big for someone who said he thrives on being alone.”

“I thrive being alone when I’m working.” You’re glad he can’t see your eyes roll; he’d probably grab you by the cheeks like a child. “Besides, why would I wanna be alone when I have you for myself.”

And there it is, your cheeks begin to warm up. Or was it because you’re so close to him that his heat is transferring to you? That’s probably it, yeah. Let’s change the subject…”How long was I out for? I remember the kids left around 7:30-ish.”

“Mmm, it’s going to eleven right now.”

Three and a half hours? Damn. “It’s past their bedtime.”

Toji scoffs. The abrupt motion of his chest rising is satisfying in a way that makes you even more comfortable. “You still think they’re gonna sleep with all that sweet shit they got?” He snickers some more as you shake your head.

“They know better. When you guys get home, be sure to put their candy bags on the top shelf of the closet for the morning.” 

“Still traumatized from that one time?” 

“Uhhh, yes??” The memory flashes to you for a quick moment, but the dread from before still haunts you. Megumi was six years old and Tsumiki seven, returning home from trick-or-treating and immediately tasting their labor from that night. However, what you didn’t expect was for them both to eat almost half their bags. Let’s just say, thanks to their sugar rushes, they didn’t drop dead until the hour hand touched two of the morning. “Unless it’s the weekend, never again.”

The way the older man chuckles is so therapeutic — it nearly makes you want to fall asleep again. “You weren’t the one chasin' Megumi all over the place tryin' to get him to sleep. Little squirt gets his speed from me.”

“Awww, poor you~” You can sense the glare as you respond in a condescending, sing-song tune. “You and him are always butting heads. Like father, like son.”

“Tch, hate that sayin’ so fuckin’ much.”

“Why? ‘Because it’s true?”

“Shut up.” The hand he used to rest his head comes down to pinch your nose. You wriggle out of his hold with giggles, but he happily keeps you grounded to him with his stronghold and a leg wrapped around to prevent yours from moving. “He only listens to you. Such a sweet lil’ baby to you, huh? Puttin’ my own son against me.”

More giggles prompt out of tiny guilt, and you bring up a hand to rub on his chest. “He’s such a bright boy now. Growing up so big and fast.”

“Miki, too. That girl is way too smart fr' me to catch up. And she’s becoming so kind and strong, crazy to think she made me play teacups when she could barely go down the stairs by herself.” Toji hums, the vibrations felt on the pads of your fingers. “Think she gets that from you.” 

You shook your head. “They’re your babies. They do amazing things because they have a big guy like you to catch them if they ever fall.”

“Hmm, fair…But let’s not pretend I’m the best dad in the world. Fuck, never in my life did I think I’d be a dad, especially with two kids. I didn’t know shit back then — still! I still don’t know shit.” You don’t say anything, just listening to him voice his thoughts to you. Because he knows you’d listen – you always do. “If you weren’t there for them, I don’t think they’d be shining like this. Y’re definitely the thing that brought us up together. They look up to you so much. Ya did so well with them.”

Nodding aimlessly, his black sweatshirt grazing on your cheek. “Thank you. Same to you. Didn’t do so bad yourself, big guy.”

“Mmm.”

Nothing is said between you two after that. The only thing that makes noise is the voices coming from the television. The volume lowered, an initiative you could guess from Toji wanting you to get some rest. The silence was too awkward that it might torture some, but it was fine where it was. There was no need to change it, especially when you were comfortable in each other’s embrace.

That is, until Toji asks, “Do you miss it?” The rubs on your back go slower, his fingertips drawing a ticklish sensation.

“Of course I do. All the time.” You answer honestly, turning your head to rest your chin on him. Your eyes glimpse directly at his, giving him a tiny grin. “Why ask? I know the kids miss me being around; what about you? Miss me nagging and putting you to work all the time?”

He sneers at your comment. “Every day.”

It was such a simple answer, yet it had the power to wipe that smirk right off your face. Your eyes locked in his sight, and your heart tuning to an irregular rhythm. Oh, come on, Y/n, get a grip! “Ahem—Toji, I hope you know that I never stopped missing everything we had — I never will. Those years that we shared were probably the best I’ve had. We had happy moments, others sad, of course. But, God, do I miss it all. I miss it so much. I miss having you guys here. Miki and Gumi and—“

“Me?” Good Lord, if this man doesn’t stop looking at you with those goddamn eyes of his, such captivating orbs that say more than he lets on. Your breath hitches, and so does the hand on your back. “Hmm? Ya miss me, baby?”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Why’d you have to call me that? And it gets worse when he places his free hand on your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin while the forefinger teases the lobe and tragus of your ear. Goddammnit…

“...Yes,” your voice was down a whisper, which could easily be mistaken with the television. But you know Toji heard you, loud and clear. “Especially you, Toji.” You said it. The words that he wanted to hear from you. They felt so forbidden to say, yet it was the truth. You avert your gaze away from him. But you knew that wouldn’t work, not right now. Toji taps your cheek with his thumb, and your eyes sheepishly return to his.

He doesn’t say anything, and that makes your heart beat at an unbearable rate. It’s all you can hear when you stare into his deep emerald eyes, the sound of it ringing your eardrums as if you could puke. Your throat running dry, so you gulp to ease the uncomfortable bob. If something could just happen to end this anxious torture, that would be great. 

And then your prayers get answered: something does happen. Toji slowly brings his face closer to yours — your body goes rigid, and you instantly face away before the inevitable happens. No, I didn’t mean that!

“Aht aht, don’t do that, baby.” His hand slithers from your cheek to your chin, forcing you to face straight at him. “Lemme see you.”

“Toji, wait,” your voice travels out in a shaky breath. “We shouldn’t be doing this. We can’t cross this line anymore.”

He listens to your pleas, but his body does otherwise. Placing a gentle kiss on your forehead while the hand on your back snakes downward. “Why not?” His gruff voice dialed down to a whisper.

“Because—Mmmm…” Toji interrupts you by licking the helix of your ear. Oh, you slick bastard. “We’re supposed to be done…” 

“That’s not stoppin’ me from takin’ care of my sweet thing.” Jesus Christ, you almost melted from the way he whispered that to your ear. He’s pulling out all the same old tricks, and it gets more hellish by the second as you try not to give in. “So, y're gonna let me take care of you like I always do, right, mama?”

Both his hands now rest on your ass, groping it while your hips sway as if they have a mind of their own. The leg between yours comes up slightly, making you ride on it. The heat on your cheeks has already blossomed to your ears, making it hard to think straight. Gripping his sweatshirt, your hips ride his thigh to ease the throbbing sensation that grows with every motion. Good God, you shouldn’t be doing this. You know you shouldn’t be doing this. However, it’s been so long that you felt wanted like this — wanted by him. It’s all the same – his voice, his hands, his words, his body, and the names he calls – yet here you are turning into putty. 

“Haaahh, Mmmfff…Toji, please,” Toji withdraws his face from your shoulder, leaving him to examine your expression. You must look so dumb right now, with your hooded eyes and shivering lips. But, at this point, do you even care? “Please…Treat me right.”

One moment, you see his gaze narrow with a devious glint. Next, you’re taken aback when Toji slams his lips on yours, kissing and sucking your bottom lip until you give him access. With a moan, you open your mouth for him and sink deeper into the kiss. Your hands come around his neck, keeping him focused on you and you alone. Not that he would have it any other way.

His strong hands continue to knead your asscheeks while you hump and grind on his thigh. Nibbling on your lip, you whimper helplessly for him. It strokes his ego, knowing he’s making you like this, the fucking bastard. He takes in your tiny cries happily, shoving his tongue to play with yours. You give in to him, almost losing your balance riding his thigh, yet Toji’s lips never leave yours.

You break the kiss to get an imperative breath, panting loudly and sweetly for him as Toji kisses and licks your ear. The sounds make your lower region twitch. “Hnnmm, fuck…That’s my girl. So fuckin’ good fr’ me always, Y/n…” You can feel him slide a hand up to the hem of your leggings, forcing it inside for his thick fingers to brush up on the bare flesh of your butt. You gasp sharply. Him squeezing your butt has you biting down on his sweatshirt. “—Hahhh, Oh God, Toji,” With every squeeze, he inches closer to your panty-covered chasm, where you know he’d find a damp spot. Please touch me. Please, please, plea—

CLACK-CLINK!!

The two of you are frozen stiff when you hear the sound of the door opening and closing, the foyer lights turned on. “Alright~, we got you guys home. See ya later!” That was Gojo’s voice, indicating everyone was finally back from trick-or-treating. This means that Tsumiki and Megumi are about to see you on top of their father, his hand in your leggings and smacking lips with yours. Your eyes shoot wide with horror — immediately remove yourself from Toji and stand up from the couch to pull your bottoms up. You barely had the chance to peek at Toji because the kids already run to the living room to find you two.

“Y/n, Y/n, look!” The brunette was the first to greet you with her adorable pink Barbie cowgirl costume. She and her brother, dressed as Sasuke Uchiha, cheerfully showcased their pillowcases full of candy. “Look at all this candy we got!”

“Wooow, you guys really went on a haul,” you can only hope they can’t see you sweating bullets through your fake reaction. “Wh–Where’s Gojo?” 

“He dropped us off here a few seconds ago and left for the party,” The raven-haired boy answered while scanning his pillowcase.

You only nod along until you frantically wipe your mouth, realizing the tiny trail of spit from the corner of your mouth. “Umm—Ahem, well then, I’m glad you two got all that candy. Now, let’s hurry up and get you guys home so you can get ready for school tomorrow!” 

But the children didn’t move an inch. Actually, they looked like they were going to tell you something. You lift a brow. Oh no, they’re going to look at each other. They looked at each other and then glanced back at you. Oh, God, no. “Uhhh, Y/n, we were thinking.” Big sister Tsumiki is always the one who asks the following question. “Can we stay over?”

You inhale a massive breath, yet you do your best not to exhale a heavy sigh. “Kids, you promised to keep the overnight stays to three at max per month. This will be the fifth!” 

“Yeah, but it’s dark out. Plus, it’s way past our bedtime.” The younger chimes in with a tiny pout. “We’ll be asleep by the time Dad gets us home.”

And here comes Tsumiki with the tag-team response to add on. “And that means he’ll have to make continuous trips back and forth from the car. Picking me and Megumi up, getting our bookbags, the bags full of candy, the whole thing! We already packed up our PJs just in case.” 

You stood there staring at the two in astonishment. There’s no way they thoroughly planned this out. There’s just no way… And to make it worse, they were making valid arguments. You open your mouth to say something, but the two give the best puppy eyes they can. The wave of guilt hits like a train, internally cringing. You turn to Toji, who still sits on the couch, and the motherfucker only gives you a shrug. Wow, what a helpful father he is.

You groan into your hands, shaking your head while looking at the kids who wait for your verdict. “…Alright, you can stay as long as you PROMISE to put those candy bags in my bedroom closet. Deal?” The happy smiles and aggressive head shakes should answer your question. “Good, now go ahead and take your showers before you head for bed.” They rushed to the stairs by the time you finished that sentence, so enthusiastic about staying the night at your house, and you can’t help but smile hearing their footsteps run up the stairs. 

With that being said, you turn to the older man again. Your brows are trenched down, but your smile is still present. “So, you legit just sat there and let those two tag-team me like that? In my own house?”

Another shrug with a dumb smirk on his handsome face. “Told you: too smart fr’ me to catch up.” You shake your head before exiting to get the kids and guest rooms ready, leaving him with the television. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The midnight hour has finally danced its way into the darkness of the night. Halloween is finally over, and the month of October is no more. The pitter-patter sound of the rain cleanses the neighborhood of its merits and festivities that partook hours ago, ready for a new phase of the year to take over.

After having the guest room ready with sheets and sleepwear for Toji and kissing the kids goodnight, you rinse your stress off with a nice shower and put on your pajamas to get ready for bed. After you turn the lights off, you drape the comforter over your figure as your body sinks with the cozy sheets and pillowcase. Your eyes close while focusing on the curtains of your window, the only light piercing inside being the lampposts by the street. 

…Well, at least that’s what’s supposed to happen. But that’s not the case because you’re not the only one lying comfortably on your mattress. Instead, Toji is here with you, in your room, on your bed, his chest to your back, and his hand roaming inside your oversized shirt. Your lips are now connected with his, sharing your erotic moans with his enticing groans, and you get a little louder as his fingers cup and play with your breast.

“Mmphh…Ahhhh, I thought I told you you’re sleeping in the guest room—Nmmff!” He tweezes your nipple with his forefinger and thumb roughly.  

“And I thought you’d be smart enough to know that wasn’t gonna happen.” Toji kisses the crook of your neck, drawing near your ear for him to whisper. “Besides, look at you. Still sleepin’ with no underwear on?”

“Hmph, only when I have a man around the house.” That answer got you another rough tweak on your nip and a purposeful gnaw to your ear. You knew he’d react like that, never liking the mention of another man leaving your mouth – especially during an intimate time like this.

“That so? What man you know that can handle all this?” Toji then moves from his side to be between your legs, pulling up your shirt to fully expose your chest. And your breathe hitches while his free hand travels down your abdomen to your bottoms.

“Ahhhh, no one. Just you...” You look at him with half-lidded eyes, taking in his reaction to what you said. The salacious grin on his face becoming broader should entail that he greatly loved that retort.

He brings his face to your other unattended nipple, “Good answer, princess.” The nub of your breast enters his mouth, and the wet warmth of his tongue greets it with lapped motions and grazes from his teeth. Despite that, it doesn’t distract you from the fact your bottoms are pulled down with ease and are thrown to the bedroom floor, leaving your cunt out for him, your erotic fluids seeping and glistening from the outside lights. 

Toji plays with your folds until he can stuff his pointer finger into your chasm, the insertion resulting in your body’s jolt. It’s been a long while since you had his thick digit inside you, playing and scraping the inner walls to evoke whimpers. God, it felt so good, this satisfying feeling returning to awaken your body to his touch. He interacts with your body as if he’s the only person who knows how to get you going – and it’s the truth. No one can put you in a blissful haze quicker than this man. And you’d prefer to keep it that way. 

The addition of his middle finger into your leaky entrance startles you, the thick digit making its way in with such vigor that he uses both fingers to scrape the velvety texture of your walls. Your eyes are now screwed shut at the growing commotion between your thighs, and the heat within your body flourishing all around gets to your head. “—Khmm, Oh fuuck, Toji. Please, don’t stop.” 

With a soft ‘pop’ noise from his lips, Toji replies to your demands. “I’m sorry, what’s my name again?” You giggle with trenched brows. Of course, how could I forget?

“Nmmph, D-Daddy, pleaseee, I’m so clo—Ahhhann!!” He puts his thumb to your clit, grinding down on it unexpectedly. “I wanna cum, pleaseee…”

“Hmmm, good girl,” he teased, laying down kisses, nibbling on the skin of your stomach and inner thighs until he arrives at your leaking slit. Your body jerks up from the bed when you feel the cold, wet muscle slowly lick on your clitoris before ravaging your folds. The sounds of his mouth on your cunt are so lewd to the ear, slurping noises from his lips with the lapping motions of his tongue claiming your come are too much for you. And when he uses his hand to swipe and pinch your clit? Oh, it’s a wrap. Your release comes out without control, biting down on your bottom lip to make sure your cries don’t leave this space for the kids to hear. Their room is on the other side down the hall; tonight isn’t the night for too many risks.

When your trembling body calms down and subsides, Toji withdraws his face from between your thighs. Your essence paints his mouth, and he wipes his chin clean while licking the remnants that coat his scarred lips. “Hmph, missed tastin’ you like that.” You open your eyes when your high finally evades you, watching your ex-husband pull down his sweats. His erection springs out and hits his stomach, your mind going rampant with thoughts as you ogle at his freed limb. Shit, it’s been so long. Will that shit even fit me again?

“Don’t think it’ll fit, baby?” Damn him, he loves teasing you. Toji then discards his black wife-beater, at long last revealing his well-built, brawny physique that has you drooling for him. He uses his hands to maneuver your legs—your knees pushed to your chest as your legs propped up on his shoulders. A position you’re all too familiar with. Your eyes don’t leave Toji’s cock as he aligns his cock to your slick-coated folds. “Take some breaths fr’ me, sweetie. Can’t take care of you when you’re all tense.”

You take up on his advice and begin taking deep breaths, reminding yourself to maintain the steady pattern as he pushes the tip of his dick between the lips of your cunt. Every inhale is where he nudges into the hole of your inner cavern, and every exhale gives you time to breathe out the pain that comes in for a split second. This carries on until the cockhead wedges itself perfectly into your vagina, along with the inches of his girth that stretches until the base kisses your lips, the tip of him kissing your cervix. Tears swell up in your eyes, taking more deep breaths to prepare yourself for what’s about to come. 

“Oooh fuuuck…Heh, yeah, that’s my baby right there. Fittin’ so perfect fr’ me, mama…” He puts his weight on you, keeping your figure unmoving under his bow. 

“Nmmmf, Daddyyy,” you’re forced to take in all of him, and drool trails down your lips with no hope of taking care of it. “…I’m so full, you’re too much…”

“I know, sweetie, I know.” He wipes your spit after kissing your forehead. How gentle compared to what you’re about to go through. “Gonna move now.” His thrusts start slow for the two of you to adjust to each other; the feeling of his length’s veins coming in and out of your chasm is so euphoric, and the kisses to your cervix want your body to writhe and squirm. But you’re bent into this position for a reason: forced to submit to him no matter what. So you do just that.

Yet your horny haze gets more potent once he picks up the pace, rutting into you with increased speed. Your slit, still sensitive from earlier, gets overstimulated with the constant grazes on your gummy walls and jabs to your tender cervix. It takes everything in your power not to come so early.

“—Hahhhh, Nmmph. Oh, shit, shit, shit…” Toji groans above you, the thrusts of his pelvis increase to an irregular rhythm, grinding deep into your cunt to the point of uncontrollable babbles escaping your lips. His bullying on your insides results in you gripping his length hard, causing the older man to hiss and moan at your contractions. “—Ohhhfuuuckk!! Jesus Christ, baby. Y’re gonna make me go crazy.” 

As if that wasn’t already happening now that he pistons his cock into your wetness, your brain turning into mush from the onslaught of ruts to your puffy wet chasm. Tears stream down your face, and more drool follows down with more precise hits to your delicate canal. The pounding in your head makes it hard to think of anything else, the squelching noises and paps of Toji’s balls hitting your cunt making it worse. 

“D-Daddyyy, I’m—Ohoooo!! Oh, Jesus, ohhhshit!” You can’t formulate a proper sentence, too engulfed with the electrifying sensations coursing through your body. 

“Damn, you feel too fucking good—Hnngh!!” Toji places his forehead on yours, resting his entire weight on you while his hips have a mind of their own. “‘Bout to make me knock you up…”

Oh, good Lord. The mere thought of having a child is the last thing that should be on your mind. But in a time like this, who in their right mind would be thinking straight? “Nnnfff! Oh God, pleaseee, fill me up, Daddyy!” Green eyes narrow with trenched brows. “—Pleasepleasepleaseee!! I want you to fill me up so bad, I want it, I want—Hyaaaaa!!” 

How can he deny your desperate, teary pleas when you’re urging him on like this? “Heh, you’re so fuckin’ sexy, mama.” Toji captures your lips with his, your mewls taken by him as you sink further into your pleasurable thrill.

Sporadic thrusts of his pelvis produce more raunchy noises in the joining of your sexes, his heavy balls smacking on your cunt as he drives the base of his cock straight into you. Your slit is now a puffy mess, come and slick form a soapy mess that Toji now harbors a milky ring around his girth. A few rushed, sloppy thrusts heighten your high once more, and then Toji presses his pelvis down to the hilt on one final, harsh thrust, unloading his seed into your aching folds. And your climax follows in a few seconds, the walls of your cunt fluttering on his pulsating dick as your essence soaks him. Your muffled shrieks are received by him, quivering under him until the aftershocks wash through your body. 

Once you two breathe at a steady tempo and the nerves of your sweaty bodies fall still, the kiss is broken with heavy pants and a string of spit that links you two together. Toji buries his face between your neck and shoulder, licking and kissing your skin as you’re allowed time to experience your clarity.

“Hmmm…You know I’m not done yet, princess.” Toji mumbles to your ear before stationing your legs off his shoulders for them to rest.

“Yeah, I know, big guy.” You tease him with a breathless laugh, kissing him on the temple. “Always wanting more…”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“…So, you’re telling me you had your ex-husband spend the night? Not just the kids?”

“Yup, that’s what happened.” 

This morning was different from your usual routine – well, you can’t say it’s different if you have done it before, huh? After five years of divorce, you thought you’d be so used to waking up and getting ready for work without worrying about others. However, this morning proves otherwise.

It felt natural walking into the kids’ room and lightly shaking them awake, telling them to get ready while you whip up something quick for them to eat as Toji showers (using your bathroom, by the way). Watching the kids run down the stairs and eat breakfast puts a smile on your face, reminiscing about the good old days when they were younger and teenier. It sometimes feels surreal doing the same thing for them now that they’re getting older and taller. But seeing them bicker and interact with each other in your presence never fails to warm your heart.

When Toji’s finished freshening up and loading his kids’ stuff in his truck, it’s time to bid them farewell for their departure for school. You give them final touch-ups on their hair and outfits, reminding them to be safe and not get into trouble (especially Megumi, now that the boy’s been getting into fights). And before they rush to the car, you hug them and give each a kiss on the cheek. Here is where the warm feeling inside your heart begins to deteriorate, not wanting to let them go. Yet, for their sake – and education – you release them and hope for the best.

The last to leave was Toji, who came from the kitchen to the front door with a paper plate wrapped in foil in one hand. His name is written boldly by a black Sharpie. “This fr' me?” 

“No, it’s for Shiu Kong, for dealing with you all the time.” You stick your tongue out at Toji as he glares at you, not even moving out of the way while he exits through the door. “You better eat that when you get to work, you have a terrible habit of skipping lunch.” 

“Whatever ya say, mom.” He pesters you with the title, knowing you’re technically not a mother anymore. Yet it only makes you smile knowing he notices your maternal side. 

“Don’t forget to text me when Tsumiki’s soccer game is next week.” You watch him go down the porch stairs. 

“Will do.”He whistles. 

“And Toji?”

The man stops walking to turn to you, his forest green eyes fixed on you so quickly that you almost forget what you want to say. Or what you wanted to do. You place your fingers on your lips and blow a kiss with an outward gesture. It was an old habit you did whenever he left, something you can’t seem to get out of practice with. It’s embroidered in your mind at this point. 

And when he catches the kiss with his free hand and places it on his chest, it makes your heart skip a beat. Toji grins, “I’ll be damned if that was fr' Shiu, too.”

You snicker with a shaken head. “Drive safe, Toji.” Closing the front door, you stand there for a while. Your smile doesn’t falter; it gets bigger as you replay the moment instead. Thinking about him, hearing him, seeing him, it all drives you crazy. And that’s a good thing…right?

“I don’t know, sounds like you still kinda care about the guy.” 

“Of course I do,” So here you are, sitting in your living room enjoying the rays of the sunset decorating the space, in a video call with your best friends, Utahime and Mei Mei. You reply to the former’s comment. “Just because I don’t have the ring on my finger doesn’t mean I shouldn’t care about him. I mean, he’s the father of two lovely children.”

“Shoot, you’re better than me, then.” The dark-haired woman admits. “But you’re kinda proving my point, Y/n. Even when you don’t have the ring on, you two act like the same old couple, and it’s definitely not just for the kids’ sake. Let’s be real here.” 

You try to interject, but the pale-blue-haired other, Mei Mei, intervenes, “I agree. It’s one thing if you let the children stay over, but he also wanted to spend the night. Sure, he could’ve been tired from driving all day and such. However, if you’re still seeing a man for the last five years – while legally unbound – and he says he wants to spend the night under your roof, which is rare, that should ring some bells at least.”

“I know, it did…” you nod along with what your friend is saying, throwing your head back with a heavy sigh. “But it’s not like he’s never spent the night here before, nor is he banished from stepping inside.” 

“Oh? Then why is this time different from the others?”

Utahime jumps in after Mei Mei’s chirp. “Yeah, you’re telling us about all these nostalgic lovey-dovey feelings as if you’re falling in love with him all over again. What, did you two have sex or something?” 

An open mouth, yet no words come out, leaving you in a predicament. You could’ve just lied or swerved the subject to something else. But you didn’t. And the two women on the screen lift their brows with hooded eyes, a look meaning a thousand words. You couldn’t even explain yourself either because a sudden knock on your door captured the attention of all three of you. 

You stand up and walk towards the door, your friends still on call on the phone at hand. Opening the door, you’re almost stunned to see in front of you. Tsumiki and Megumi with nervous smiles, and their father at the car collecting the same duffles bags from last night. You’re kidding.

“Hey, kids.” The two of them gulped from not calling them by their names. You bring up the phone to face the screen to them. “Say hello to Auntie Mei Mei and Utahime.” The women on the line smile and wave at the children, who sheepishly wave back.

“Hi, aunties.” Megumi greets them, and then his eyes drift back to you. “So, Y/n—“

“What did you forget this time?” Straight to the point, no room for excuses.

“It was Miki this time! She forgot her soccer cleats.” The older sibling gawks at her younger brother for calling her out.

“Tsumiki, I know you have cleats at home.”

“I do, but these are special! You bought them for my birthday, and I’ve been wearing them to every game ever since! So, I was scared when I couldn’t find them at home.” The brunette was quick to defend her stand. “Also, Dad doesn’t feel like driving up here and then back. So…can we…”

You close your eyes and bring the phone to your face to shield your vexation. Twice in a row, the sixth time this month. You can hear the giggles of your friends from the other side of the phone, adding more fuel to the fire. You don’t look up until you hear heavy footsteps on the porch, seeing Toji holding both duffle bags with a hand and shoulder. He stares at you as you stare at him, a silent conversation on how to handle this situation. And when he shrugs with lifted brows, you realize it’s no use and release the long-awaited sigh.

“….If I see one more thing being left behind here, you guys can’t come back till December, understand?” It wasn’t anything serious, but enough for the kids to know you weren’t joking. They nod their heads in unison while you roll your eyes. “Okay, get in here.” They rushed inside with gleeful laughs, the shuffling of their backpacks following along with them. Your eyes then drift to Toji as he walks up to you. “Did you forget something here, too?”

“Yeah,” you lift a brow when he drops Megumi’s bag to the floor. Before you can register his hand on your chin, you squeak when he brings his lips to yours. It lasted for seconds, but the kiss was sweet and tender, sucking on your lip before letting go with a playful bite. “Meant to give you that when you woke up. Thanks fr' the food, mama.” 

Toji picks the bag up and walks inside your home to put the bags in the rooms, leaving you standing on the porch with an astounded expression. You couldn’t appropriately calibrate your thoughts until you heard faint laughs from the phone. Then, you realize your best friends witnessed the entire scene that transpired. 

Utahime, with the slyest leer, was the first to say something. “Oh yeah, he laid that pipe on you good, without a doubt.”

“Mhmm,” Mei Mei agrees with a chuckle. “And I'm guessing he’s gonna do it again tonight. Isn’t that right, Y/n?”

You end the video call with a heated face. “Sh-Shut your damn mouths!!” Again, you groan into your hands before returning inside. Thank God I still have those birth control pills...

♱ 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2023 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header art by rororogi mogera + dividers by the amazing @/cafekitsune!!

[blueside-hobi]

I would have reacted that way too if my friend did that to me like I would feel like such an afterthought :( U better still go on your own and have fun don’t even think about them!!!! ❤️❤️

I would feel awful if I went on my own though because Yoongi is her bias and I would just be thinking about wanting her to be there. But it's probably a better idea than going with them because I'll just be a third wheel. I guess I have a couple weeks to figure out what I'm doing, assuming that either of us get presale.

[val-cansalute]

𝙱𝙴𝚈𝙾𝙽𝙳 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝟶1

summary: - a prologue of sorts - you and ellie will never be the same. the words you exchange are so deep seated and visceral, an accumulation of all the hurt. hers are telling; the love she gives is nothing like yours, nowhere near as intense, nowhere near as desperate. she’s closed off to you, and she may never be open again. she’s leaving town before it is even given a proper ending, to go on tour now that her music career is taking off. this is the end. at least for a few years.

warnings: not rlly proofread bc i ball too hard, angst with no comfort yet, dw it’ll come, ellie is dealing with trauma, references to sex.

an: this shit is reaaaaally short cuz it’s just some context for the main story. unfortunately for me, bc whenever i start a story i get rlly anxious until its over, the next one prolly won’t be coming for a while since im gonna be travelling for a bit and i got quite a lot of stuff going on: love you guys, stay safe, never stop talking about palestine. do your clicks. :-)

masterlist

When you first saw Ellie, there were embers in her eyes - front of the pub, she didn’t even need a stage as she sang her heart out. Her captivating nature was enough to elevate her. Everyone else in the room faded to grey in the background, nothing more than a lively buzz punctuating the atmosphere. You were enraptured.

And she was too.

Hesitant glances from across the room at the same time each week, the music and the feeling was electric. The flush of her cheeks melted into the splotches of red from the sweltering heat each time she met your eyes. You sat on that same barstool; she stood in that same spotlight.

And when you started seeing each other, there were so many moments where you felt like your love for her was uncontainable. It spewed out of your pores and overwhelmed your senses every time she was near, even in spite of her soft and reserved demeanour.

It had a hold on you. Each time your lips met, it always became visceral for you, slow and sensual movements transforming into borderline aggression, tongue desperately searching her insides and tearing all the petals off the rose that was in her mouth. You wanted to consume her, suck her up and hold her in the comfort of your rib cage. She was everything to you.

And she was bound to fame. You knew it would come. She was made of stardust, and an aura so golden it would burst if confined in small town pubs any longer.

Sometimes, you gently trace the ridged edges of the polaroid pinned to your wall and feel a pool of warmth gather inside you at the feeling of familiarity her younger face brings. Her face, back then when her eyes seemed greener, her cheeks seemed fuller, her voice seemed clearer. It’s a sick feeling: nostalgia, remembering the way your intensity felt and what it has become.

If you stare too long, you’ll watch the grainy photograph melt and churn, the hues of her skin becoming duller and sunken inwards.

The house is quiet. It’s a silence so dense, you’re almost fooled into thinking Ellie isn’t home. But she is. She’s there, like a ghost lingering in the cracks of your walls.

It feels cold, with a lingering scent of whiskey and a heavy silence that creaks in the hollows of your ears, even for the weeks at a time that Ellie is home.

Maybe it’s a sick thought to have about the woman you would give up your life for, who you would do anything for, who you love more than anything in the world millions of times over, but you prefer it when there’s a distance between the two of you these days. Playing into that constant facade of everything being okay drains you of all your worth and for no return. Ellie gave up on it a while back. It’s just you prancing away solo on that stage now, like some jester.

You’ve become a slave to it, lost yourself out at sea trying desperately to make things okay, whatever that means. She'll never talk to you about it. There’s only scraps left to hide but she clings to them like they’re her lifeblood, tearing them away from you as if you’re just some stranger. Some stranger who watches her crumble to pieces and put herself back together, like she’s a damn mix and match, each time the memories come back to surface in her mind. You beg for more, for crumbs of her resolve but she’s gone. Not coming back.

Nothing has been okay. Nothing has ever been the same since Joel died. Ellie has never been the same. That day, he left and took a piece of her with him. A piece you know you’ll never get back.

There’s no room for argument, what is between the two of you is like glue that barely sticks, so you keep yourself deathly still and hold your breath with a pounding heart and complete desperation, not wanting to ruin anything further. But there’s so much you have to say, and no time to say it.

Instead, you watch her pull further away, see her eyes become duller, notice her absence get longer, feel the sex get colder, watch everything warp and twist and writhe until you’re beyond the point of no return. Until you’re not sure you trust her, or yourself, or the concept of anyone truly loving you the animalistic and self destructive way you loved them at any point in time.

It’s lonely on that island, watching her drift away, the person you thought completed you, she felt incomplete regardless of your presence.

You know the glue has faded when she turns to face you from the foot of the bed, looking so far away as she speaks.

"What? You're moving to LA?" She looks down at the fingers she’s twiddling, and takes a deep breath before continuing.

"Yeah, Max said it wa-"

"Well, how long?" You cut her off, already rising from the bed and moving closer. She meets your eyes but the look she gives doesn’t satiate your anxiety in any way, despite how you beg it to.

"... About that, we were thinking it might be… indefinite for now..."

Your heart stills in your chest and the blood rushes from your head. She can’t even look at you.

"Ellie. What the fuck… How are you just gonna dump this on me now? W-what about us? What are we gonna do? I already barely see you anymore,"

"I... I'm sorry but, I gotta do this. You know I do, if I'm gonna make a caree-"

Desperation takes over, your palms quivering erratically beneath you,

"Ellie… I know you care about your career, but, God, we've been together for so long. I love you so much, please don't do this to me,"

She raises her gaze to the ceiling and forces the lump down the dry, tight hollow of her throat,

"It's not forever, babe, I’ll come home.”

But you’re already shaking your head in dismissal of her blatantly dishonest words,

"You and I both know that that is not true. You’ve been desperate to go since it happened and I know I’m just an obstacle now.“

"That’s… That’s not true. I really can’t do this right now."

"You never can. And it’s because I fucking know you're not coming back, Ellie! And I'm not gonna sit around, waiting for you to call, only ever hearing about you through other people when we’ve been together for so many fucking years! I want you to be happy more than anything-“

"We can call.”

"But you fucking won't! And you're always drunk! You need to talk to me, Ellie, we're never gonna be okay if you don't!”

“I can’t be okay when I’m trapped here! All I can think about is him! I don’t eat, I don’t sleep!”

"But this isn’t gonna make anything better! We have something here! We said we would start a family together, Ellie… LA; you would never have wanted this… Okay? Joel would never have wanted this!"

She gets up and turns without a second thought at the sound of his name and your blood pressure spikes in complete desperation.

"Ellie, Ellie, please. I'm sorry. We can work through this, I promi-"

“I have to go.”

“No, you don’t! You aren’t being fair! You shut me out! You shut everyone out! I’ve been trying so fucking hard!"

"I know, and I’m fucking sorry, but I can't stay here, there's nothing left for me! I love you-"

Your voice is quiet and quivers with emotion that lulls her in, begging her to see that you need her - that she has always come first to you even if you’ve become secondary to her,

"Then prove it. Stay."

But her mind is already made up.

"… I can’t…”

You’re shaking your head,

“I have to do this.”

No, this is seriously the end.

“I'll come home."

You stop shaking your head and look at her.

“No. I can't wait around for you, Ellie, not when we’re like this. If you do this, it's over."

"That's up to you."

The rest of the night seems blurry to you. A deep despair festers to the brim of your skull. You can’t bring yourself to move once she’s gone, can’t bring your mind to calm itself down.

But once you do, the house is plunged into the darkness you encounter. The weight of Ellie still hangs thick in the air and lingers like a whine in the creaks of cold floorboards. As you leave the house you shared with Ellie, you pass through each room, switching the light on and then off, from top till the bottom, until you reach the last.

Click,

and then you leave, once and for all.

Pass round the bend and then by the sea. Watch the waves rise and then crash into each other, right where Ellie used to plant her feet beside you.

more pics of my cat bc she’s just so adorable 😩

[averagetmntfan]

a special thank you to my moots.

(TW: suicidal thoughts, ig?)

ahem- so as I have mentioned, today is my 1 year old this platform! I honestly cant believe it’s been this..long? A lot has happened, too. And honestly for the longest time, it wasn’t going well. Like- at all.

(rant continues under the cut:)

I’m don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Im doing much better than before, so it’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just giving some brief context for my 2023- early 2024 school year.

so, I made this blog a couple days before the whole situation went down. Which I think I briefly mentioned on here.

so for a bit, I had felt very uh- isolated in my friend group. I had kinda always been the odd one out. We had different interests. Their sort of fun was hangin’ out, gossiping and what not. And I was into cartoons, and art. I never really told them, though. There were sorta judgy, and I was very insecure. Because they make fun of people. And I didn’t wanna end up by myself.

But anyways- usually, they’d all leave. And tell me to watch their stuff. And since I’m sort of a pushover irl, I didn’t really argue about it. But when I say all of them leave-? I meant all of them. All 4 of em. And it often did upset me.

also they’d talk to people I didn’t even know- which, okay yeah- but I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t wanna get dirty looks. I’m not a very outgoing person. I like to think I keep to myself often.

So, Halloween comes around. And this stuff doesn’t end. And for a bit more context, one of my friends was getting super annoying by me. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me, like- at all. She easily got annoyed at me. And only me.

so she went to the Halloween dance- last block of the day

blah blah skip to after school and I text the group- “where are u guys?” None of them respond. So I search a lil bit, then head outside. Where- guess what? All of them were.

I asked “Why didn’t you answer the text?”

and my friends that gets annoyed at my easily said a snarky “my phone was off.” And was generally just being fucking bitch. And I use to be a big crybaby and stuff- and eventually grew out of it. But this- this sentence really upset me. I stormed off, avoiding all of them.

eventually I got on my bus and- well. Uh. Let my feelings out, if you will. I remember it very cleary, too. It was one of the most tears I had shed in a long time.

I get home, and the girl texts the gc, clamming I stormed off for “no reason” and I had enough. Saying smth “I obviously didnt storm off for no fucking reason”

a bit more of arguing keeps going, and a lot more sobs. It was one of the worst days I had ever had.

a few more days go by, and the situation gets worse. I avoid all of them, and hung out w/ a diff friend. I ranted/vent to her, telling her my friend was a Hippocrate for complaining about our other friends leaving, even tho she did the EXACT same fucking thing.

Which, was talking shit. So that wasn’t great and rlly bad of me. And I guess karma hit hard bc she texted me after school, saying I was talking shit abt her. Bc my friend was friends with her friends. So..awkward..

and really- the next day, it was over. I was free. But at what cost, really? I lost all my friends. Became an outcast, really. It was pathetic, now that I think about it.

for the rest of the year, I rarely spoke to them. And never talked to the other girl.

I spent most my time in the library, reading. And skipping out on eating. I was so unhappy. I don’t wanna say depressed but- very close.

it really made me hate who I was. It made me feel like a terrible person.

And that’s when I really did start using Tumblr more. It was sort of an escape, of mine. And god, I’m so glad I set up and account. I Met do many amazing and unique people one here.

This is sort of corny but, I really think this has helped me through a lot. Since a few months early I lost my privileges to tik tok, and discord. Which, yeah. Sucked.

but so many things had happened-! Joined a rp group, met a new online friend (which we are now very very close<3), found out about a LOT of facts, found other people who shared my interests!

so here we are, one year later.

it was really something. I’ve met so many wonderful people on here, man. Especially my moots. You guys know who you are. I’m not gonna tag you guys, but I’ll do a quick smth smth ig

FIRST OF- my first closest moots-!! Ghosty, cookie, Sleepy, Ally, And my Pooks, Ari. So many awesome things happened with these guys. A lot of funny moments, too. Lmao.

AND ALL MY RAMSHACKLE PEEPS- dew, anomaly, Schnozz, reboot, Bailey, lilac,- you guys are literally AWESOME UGH- I seriously enjoy every interaction I have with you guys. It genuinely makes me so happy

sorry this is super corny and stuff, I really wanted to make something meaningful for this. Thank you guys for being so amazing.<3

— jj

[its-been-rose]

Honestly, i always love myself a good messed up slasher. Especially when they work in pairs (Scream, anyone?)

But when it gets to the story of Killer Frequency, I always just keep wanting to pull Marie aside and go "Yoooooou! Put that boy through so much trauma! And then JUMPED?!"

And like in your art, I doubt this is just a spur of the moment thing, like she's been training for this! Imagine as a young child waking up and your mother teaches you to whistle, not because it's a fun little skill but bc you're gonna use it to terrorize then murder people with.

You are compared to a father you've never even met and somewhat care but also don't care for because it's an image presented to you via your mother who you love so much you'd do anything for.

You are taught to use a knife, probably. Something just tells me this isn't their first instance of killing someone, especially Marie. I mean do you remember Mrs. Loomis in Scream 2 when Randy is talking shit and she MAIMS him? That's Marie all the way.

There's just... so much to say about Marie. Like what was she even planning to do after this fact?

THISSS!!! ALL OF THIS!!!!

I don’t think this was the intention, but her jumping off Whistling Point at the end seemed to me like it was something she’d planned the entire time, like she’d planned it to be a murder-suicide from the get go. I think in reality it was probably just a very serendipitous coincidence that’s where her running from the cops took her and she took the easy way out due to the convenience. I’m just a sucker for drama and having her basically planning a 20-year long suicide plan is pretty dark.

But either way, she completely threw Henry to the wolves. Obviously she told him to run but what parent wouldn’t be like “don’t go after him he had nothing to do with it it’s me you want”??? Like girl you’re just gonna orphan your son?? Who looked up to you so?

I do not doubt for a single second that she raised Henry for that night and that night alone. Literally nothing else mattered. She absolutely screwed him over and let herself believe she was doing the right thing. If you think about the game for more than five seconds the real tragedy becomes obvious.

I totally agree with you that Henry did it less because he loved his father and wanted revenge for his death but more because he loved his mother who loved his father and wanted to do right by her. Like some of my own relatives passed away before I was born, and I was told stories about them, but I don’t feel a connection to them at all. I feel connected to how my parents felt about them. Like one of my parents lost their brother (my uncle) but i feel worse for them losing their sibling than i do for myself losing an uncle, if that makes sense. I can definitely see Henry thinking something along the lines of “yeah my dad was killed and it sucks and it’s not fair I never got to meet him, but look what his death did to my mom, it destroyed her, and it’s all their fault she’s been miserable for 19 years”

Yeah, Marie taught him, raised him, to be this. It should be a parent’s worst nightmare for their kid to turn into a monster, but she encouraged it. Completely unfair. And yeah I mean we know from Clive’s tapes that Whistling Night wasn’t their first foray into murder. They’d been chasing down stragglers for a while before then, could have been anywhere from months to weeks to days before.

As for what her plan was after the fact… I don’t think she had one, to be perfectly honest. This was all that mattered. I mean like- she even revealed her identity and the identity of her son ON AIR, so it would be way harder to go into hiding anyway. To me that says she didn’t really plan ahead. Just be perpetually on the run?

[ahiddenpath]

Life Talk

Discussing how I'm dealing with Things beneath the cut.

I doubt I'll be able to say anything about the US election results that you haven't seen a million times before. I wasn't sure if I should bother commenting. I'm not sure where I am in the processing stages, so... Forgive me if my tone is weird. I definitely feel weird.

First thing's first; I've anticipated this outcome since people started blaming Biden for inflation. That's a typical thing in American politics; whoever is in charge currently is blamed for everything, which often causes the presidency to swap from D to R and back, regardless of where problems began. Of course, if voters really were worried about the economy, well... The Trump tariffs are a laughably, horrifically bad solution. But... I don't think the average American voter understands tariffs. So like. Whelp. There's a very real reason why Rs want to gut public education. Well, there are several, but yeah, a less educated populace is easier to fleece.

Obviously there are a million other horrible things going on here; if I tried to get into them all, I would never finish this post. But I can't say I'm experiencing shock or betrayal. I knew many Americans hate women, POC, the queer community, and others more than they care about their own self interests. Although most, I think, are simply not educated enough to understand that their self interests are at risk, and many others were sucked into the far right cult stuff years ago. Rs always scream about the liberal media, but so much American media (and social media!) is owned by the right, or is at least paid off by them. I'm wondering, as education continues to fail, especially given the next administration, will Americans have any hope of thinking beyond whatever Facebook posts and news in the pocket of (or in fear of) the right tells them?

We're in a bad way, but this didn't happen on the day of the election. We've been living in this environment for years, now. Are things about to get worse? Yes, of course. I think it's an important time to remember who your friends and loved ones are, to lean on them and check in on them, to do stupid fun stuff with them. And I think it's time to step away from the doom scrolling and inventing horrible what-if scenarios. Obviously this is a scary time; I'm not trying to diminish that. But spiraling causes pain now, PLUS more pain later if the bad thing comes to pass.

I've seen some interesting posts with actionable ideas. Get a passport ASAP, look into moving (to blue states, out of climate change buffer areas, or internationally if you can, although obviously that is not easy nor readily available), think about if your industry will be impacted by tariffs and sweeping federal government layoffs, get sterilized if you know you don't want kids, get that medical appointment you've been pushing off. Actionable stuff is productive! Spiraling isn't. Although uhhh, that's easier said than done. I'm just trying to push myself in a better direction, here.

As for me, here are some fractured snippets of how I've been feeling:

-Mourning. Shit, I'm 35. Trump will be in office until I'm 39. My child bearing window is closing. Are we not having a family bc of orange oompah loompah and his country and world destroying policies?

-I'm aware that I will be buffered from some things, purely because of how I look, where I live, etc. And the fact that I'm married to a safe man who adores me affords some protection. I feel weird about it, but must acknowledge it, so I don't get uhh. Disconnected from people who are more vulnerable than me. I think that Democratic politicians who mean well, but don't experience what so many Democrat constituents go through/suffer with for various reasons, becoming so... Out of touch and unrelatable... Um, I think that played a role in getting us here. It's difficult for these politicians to organize or affect change when their life experience is... Just overall safer by default. And this applies to people who aren't politicians, too, just on a less official level.

Those of us who are comparatively safer for various reasons need to hear people who are less safe and acknowledge that some things impact us differently, and we need to prioritize what the most vulnerable need.

-On the day before the election, I started Googling how to become a witch and books on witchcraft. I did it with a wry grin, because I'm aware that magic/witchcraft/New Age stuff/tarot/crystals/mysticism/etc surge in popularity during times of political and economic strife. Meaning that they are SUPER FUCKING POPULAR right now, and have been for a while. You might know that I'm a Seeker (tarot practitioner), but I'm also a scientist. I'm... not the most spiritual person.

But, like, FUCK IT. Time to become a witch. Time to creep into the wild woods and make a hut and live with the bears. TIME TO CURSE SOME MF-ers!

I told my reasonable friend. Here is our conversation:

Hidden: So I'm googling witch books.

Friend: No. We don't turn to magic in the face of tragedy. We drink hot cocoa.

Hidden: FINE I GUESS (hrmph!!!!)

I told another friend the same:

Friend: How are you holding up?

Hidden: Googling how to become a witch. So... yeah.

Friend: How... how DO you become a witch?

Hidden: IDK, that's why I'm googling it.

Sigh. I might still buy that book on the history of witchcraft and paganism. What, it's history! xD

-Otherwise, I've been weirdly fortunate that work has been so demanding. I've been learning more about in silico analysis lately (using huge protein databases to predict how developable a new antibody based drug might be, which residues to change, and how immunogenic your antibody might be). I'm learning and doing so much that I come home exhausted, but like. Maybe that's the lack of sleep on Tuesday night talking.

-I've been leaning into the animal of myself these last few days. The soft, squishy, vulnerable meat of me. Sleep and work and food and relying on my partner bond with my husband. Listening to his heartbeat, feeling the low rumble of his voice when we cuddle, letting skin on skin release safe and happy hormones.

-I think I need to get off reddit and its eternal doom. Like, permanently. Tumblr and Insta are the only other social media I use, but Tumblr is all digimon and Insta is all cats and dolls. I'm hoping the political posts that aren't primarily actionable die down on Tumblr soon, so I don't need to spend less time here, but obviously people need to post what they are going to post. If I'm here less, this is likely why.

Most of all, do what you can to beat back despair. I don't really have comforting words, except that you're not alone. Other people DO think and feel the way you do now. Let's all try to be there for each other, distract one another, and maybe have some hugs and hot drinks. Or like... start a coven, idk.

You are loved. Ask for help if you need to, offer it if you can.

[hackauthorairplane]

MY GOOD LADY I BELIEVE YOU’VE GRADUATED WHERE IS THE SHENCEST IDEA!!!!

PLEASE!!!!!

LMAO im just gonna write out my idea bc its too early along to be anywhere near a fleshed out fic:

so first i started with the idea: what if shen yuan transmigrated in way earlier and becomes a qing jing disciple at the same time as shen jiu, and becomes friends with him! He manages to make shen jiu's reputation a LOT better bc shen jiu is a lot calmer/happier, and they are in an happy, established relationship by the time luo binghe would enter the sect.

However, right before the disciple-picking day that lbh would be at (i dont remember the event name tbh), shen yuan is drowning in anxiety. yeah, he knows shen jiu is a different person than he was in pidw, significantly happier/at ease/healthier, but all the same he really really needs shen jiu not to gain the attention of lbh, or vice versa

the plan he comes up with: he will just suck and fuck shen jiu so often, so relentlessly, in so many different ways, that shen jiu will be too busy/tired to focus in any way on shen jiu, and then lbh will get no negative attention!!

but then i had a brain blast. what if it was shencest.

so shen yuan and shen jiu are brothers that went through everything and joined the peak together, and theyre attached at the hip. they love each other very much and having shen yuan around, a loving presence that will never leave him, has made shen jiu's reputation and personality much better!

Theyre pretty codependent, and if you really really get to know them you might realize that theyre kind of weird about each other. they get jealous of the others attention and hate the idea of the other having a romantic partner that could be more important to their sibling than them.

shen yuan loves his brother so, so much (too much), shen jiu is really loving and caring to him, and shen yuan considers him the toughest, best, and most handsome person in the sect. shen yuan can kind of tell that his feelings for his brother are...different than the feelings he had for his original siblings, but he is avoiding that as best he can.

with luo binghe-disciple-time fast approaching, shen yuan is starting to get nervous. How can he make sure that shen jiu doesnt focus on luo binghe? shen yuan's plan comes from his complicated feelings for his brother and the fact he very sleep deprived. for the last year, hes been having nightmares about shen jiu being tortured (and being castrated).

finally, the day before the disciple selection, he jumps his brother. he confesses his non-brotherly feelings for him and kisses him. and then sucks his dick and on and on

the next day, shen jiu just barely makes it to the disciple selection, limping slightly. nyy goes and picks a shidi without being asked bc sj is too out of it, and then when its tea pouring time he has to be nudged into drinking the tea bc the only thoughts running through his mind is "...my brother...my own brother..."

yeah so the rest of the fic is shen jiu going along with whatever deprived shit shen yuan wants. at first he tells himself its bc shen yuan is experimenting and he doesnt want to reject him or hurt his feelings, but as things go on, they both are enthusiastic participants

lqg doesnt die, partly bc sj's cultivation is better with a lack of heart demons (and also bc shen yuan gave shen jiu a lingering kiss on the neck before he entered the cave and shen jiu is running on very competent auto-pilot)

lbh doesnt get pushed, everything turns out ok, and no one finds out about the shencest bc theyve always been super sticky with each other

yeah. that was my idea! idk if ill ever write it a full fic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[eliteseven]

So I finally gathered the courage to read the latest chapter and now that ive calmed down i would like to give a comment that isnt just incoherent screaming lol (obvious spoilers)

Holy shit that chapter was intense.

I know we talked about the idea of Shadowheart being controlled but I never considered it the other way around and it fucking broke me.😭 I would like to file a lawsuit for infliction of emotional distress (or i would if i had money lol) The way it turned the tables on Serena in the worst way to going from being abused to in an instant becoming the thing she never wanted to be and being powerless to stop it… fuck man. This poor woman 🥺 i just wanna hug her so bad! The pure horror all over her face and Shadowheart refusing to try and defend herself, just being so loving and supportive till the end just *gross sobbing

Ok can we talk about Nocturne for a minute. First of all the absolute relief that Nocturne was herself and not just a mindwiped thrall was a true blessing. I may or may not have internally screamed when i found out she kept the ring. Just the fact she still cared enough to notice and gave it back. The fact shes still such a good person after everything is so important to me cause it would be really easy for her to turn bitter and jealous but shes not and i love her so much even though she also makes me sad. Their relationship is so complicated and I’ll never not love it. Also love the idea of her transitioning to the harpers tbh. It suits her. Hopefully she can find much better company in that work and some much needed healing. It’s what she deserves.

The fact that we dont know what was lost, and even Serena doesnt know, is absolutely KILLING me. Like was it childhood memories? Was it sandcastles? Was it the moment she first fell for her? Or was it some random thing none of us even thought of as being important until now? That would be an interesting butterfly effect to think about cause some things we think are inconsequential and dumb can sometimes save the world. It would be spicy if we lost stuff from the nobleheart au where they met before the tadpole business, cause that was formative and a turning point for Serena, and if thats gone then neither of them will really know cause it was lost to Shadowheart years ago. At the very least I’m happy she remembers who she loves :)

Looking forward to seeing the aftermath and recovery from these two ❤️❤️❤️😊

Omg 😭🥰 getting to open this made me feel like a kid on Christmas lol so firstly, thank you for reading and making the effort to come on over and share your thoughts!!! ❤️ it’s always appreciated!!!

Onto the subject at hand 👀

Firstly!! I’m so glad you liked it! I’ve said it a billion times but writing action is like my least favorite thing ever so I’m glad you could like…understand it 😅

Yeah…Shar sucks 💀 I think she understood Serena’s deepest fears and utilized them well. Poor Shadowheart didn’t know what to do in that moment except…be there for her. even though her life was on the line. (Wyll is the MVP for taking that shot in the dark- literally!!!). Serena is going to have a very hard time coming to terms with that. She almost hurt her baby 🥺She’s livid that she was compromised and in a position to harm Shadowheart, Shadowheart is livid that Serena was dragged into this mess bc of her… they have some coping/healing to do. They both sorta just lived out part of their worst nightmares. But…give it time. They’ll grow from this.

Nocturne is a good bean 🥹💕 no way in hell I was gonna let her rot in the side-cloister lmao. I think she’d fit in well with the Harpers. I do think she loves Shadowheart- to an extent. Maybe not like full blown romance but she definitely had feelings for her growing up and I think she’s still kinda weak about her. She was super gentle with Serena because she recognized her, too. So this was nice because Nocturne got to repay Shads, and she’s free to pursue her own life now, outside the cloister. That love for Shadowheart will always be there 🥰 now Shadowheart can check in on her and make sure she’ll thrive!

Yeah…tricky thing, memories 😅 you’ll find out what she’s lost in the next chapter, and probably over the course of several more. I had to take away enough to be meaningful, but also refrain from leaving her with no memories- because she’s still clearly in love with Shadowheart, remembers her mother, etc. you take too much away, and that changes. So I had to balance it out a bit lmao.

Certain things, potentially even people who were important to Serena, are really gone, though. Just luck of the draw with whatever memories were at the forefront of her mind when she was getting wiped, I suppose. You have to admire the way she fought to cling to every last memory of Shadowheart, though 🥺💕

But they’re safe and sound now 🥰 and the healing can begin! I hope you enjoy what’s to come!!! (I heard there’s a wedding around the corner lmao) thank you so much for reading and sharing these incredibly kind words!!!

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

1, 2, 7, 15, 18 from this ask game

1. What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Like, ever??? When I was in 6th grade I wrote (and published on the ancient ff.net) Warrior Cats fanfiction 😭 in Year of our Lord 2011. It has since been erased. When I got back into writing as an adult, Nimona/Goldenheart was the first fandom and ship I published for. I'd been writing disconnected drabbles for various fandoms before that, though.

2.Do you participate in any writing events or challenges throughout the year? If so, what do you like about them?

I am participating in the Nimona Big Bang and I participated in Nimona Week! I may also be participating in Goldenheart Week once I check out the prompts!

What I really liked about Nimona Week was seeing different people's take on the prompts. For a lot of them I really assumed everyone would have the same idea but they really didn't! It was great to see so many interpretations and to see stories/art made that otherwise probably wouldn't have been :)

7. What do you struggle with when writing?

I have a really hard time writing action sequences. I think they usually come out okay, I just find them boring to write. This even happens with smut sometimes, if the characters are just DOING and not TALKING or ruminating, I get bored lmfao. I also find it hard for characters to communicate emotions to one another without using "therapy speak" which I see writers get made fun of for a lot but like, I'm neurodivergent. So are most people I love. I'm used to explaining how I feel and having others do the same, everything else is foreign to me. I don't quite understand how to write characters unintentionally miscommunicating their own emotions because like, I don't even know how to do that irl lmfao.

15. A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

This one is hard bc it means it would have to be both good, adaptable to film, and capable of standing without the source material. I think Ballister Has Brain Trauma and Ambrosius Wants to Beat the Ever-Loving Shit out of Todd Sureblade would be the best to adapt into that medium because it's more of a Things Happen than a People Talk fic like most of my others. As a sidenote what the fuck was July Yrrt thinking with that title? Lmao

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

It's super hard to say, because I can't remember half of what I write 😭 I think I really like the scene from What Still is Yours where Ballister looks at the portrait of Ambrosius hanging in the Champion's Mansion.

"The person in the portrait was beautiful, as Ambrosius was, but he did not have the mischievous lilt in his smile that was somehow always there, even when his intentions were completely genuine. He didn't have the same eager softness in his blue eyes that bored into your soul and screamed "Here I am, love me, love me, love me." His teeth were perfectly straight and didn't have the little gap from sucking his thumb too much as a child that years of orthodontics hadn't been able to fix."

I just thought it was super sad and sweet and spoke to how well Ballister still knew Ambrosius and how much he still loved him even after all that had happened. One of the main things I notice about loving someone is their face becomes sort of etched into your mind, I experience face blindness so someone has to be pretty close to me for a long time before they become recognizable, and I thought this was a nice contrast between the Institution's image of Ambrosius versus how Ballister saw him / how he really was.

Ty for the ask!!! Please feel free to keep asking 💕

Questions Post

[captainsjack]

📓 I haven’t gotten to your most recently posted fics yet, but I can’t wait to have the time!! Always get excited when you post!

ahh tysm!! lowkey i wrote those new ones an entire year ago and never posted them until now😳

i'm currently fixated on other stuff rn (if u couldnt tell lol) so idk when/if i'll write for shawngus again!? that said i have SO MANY wips for them that i never got around to dfkjfdjkfdkj i was looking through all of them to see which one to tell you about and?? lowkey i found the first fic i ever came up with for them and it kinda still slaps! i literally remember writing it during my ap psych class senior year of high school lmaooo

anyways so basically gus is about to get married to rachel and shawn's helping him get ready and it's like 5 mins before the wedding when shawn's like "gus don't get married." and gus is all "wtf shawn" and then shawn ends up telling gus he's in love with him and should be marrying him. and gus gets mad bc this is so stressful and why is shawn telling him now of all things, he has a wedding to get to goddamnit! and then its the wedding via gus pov and his reflection on his relationship with shawn and stuff. and he doesn't know whether or not he's in love with shawn.

then it's the reception and shawn gives his best man speech except they're really just vows aren't they? and they're all about timing and how timing sucks n shawn can barely keep it together. and when he finishes he just like. leaves. and gus follows him and shawn's kinda having a breakdown in the bathroom and then they talk more about what shawn said and then gus kisses him. n then thoughts n feelings n shit u know? and then gus tells shawn he isn't not in love with him but also he doesn't know if he is, and it's all just too confusing. then shawn leave bc he can't stomach being at the wedding any longer but at least now he and gus are on good terms.

gus goes back to the wedding reception n u know is conflicted and all that good shit.

then shawn's at the office and he gets shot. then henry's there bc he had followed him when he saw gus go back inside alone (he kinda knew what was going on before the wedding)

so he calls vick and she tells gus & crew shawn's shot and on the way to the hospital.

so then gus feelings and realizations of love while waiting for shawn to come out of surgery, of course bc they deserve this trope ok?

and then when shawn's awake gus tells him he loves him and they kiss!! and gus stays in the hospital with him and takes care of him. and then he goes and talks to rachel and explains everything and they get divorced and shawn and gus live happily ever after the end

-

ask me about my wips!

[clonerightsagenda]

Author's notes for Sick aka I ramble about my complex Disability Feelings

When you're sick, especially given the dominance of the medical model of disability, it's easy to view your body as a separate adversary, and this scenario takes it to the extreme of completely removing yourself from your body. I've talked before on this blog about my complicated feelings on magic disability cures - I don't like them in fiction; I'd like one myself in real life - and this is me contemplating 'what if'?

I do not like being sick. It is painful, time-consuming, expensive, and frequently embarrassing. I wish it had not happened to me. But being disabled is now a major part of my identity and experience - it's probably the first label I would list when thinking about the different facets that impact my life. Being disabled has made me more aware of disability justice issues and changed the way I relate to and rely on other people. In some ways that sucks - it's progressively taken over what I eat, where I work, where I live (which I also take to the extreme in this story with ambiguously literal possession) - but in other ways, I think the disability community often has a much better worldview than mainstream America. I'm glad I've become more aware of some of those perspectives and issues. And because disability has shaped so much of my life for the past... six? years, for good and for ill, it's hard for me to conceive of what my life would be like without it. How would I think about myself? What would I do? This is my new normal, like it or not. I don't remember what it's like to make a fist painlessly.

An added wrinkle is that autoimmunity is my body Trying Its Best. I make a lot of jokes about my body trying to kill me because that's how it shakes out (please, little guys in my blood, stop eating my bones) but autoimmunity is a trauma response. My body got clobbered by so many outside poisons that it can't recognize what a real threat is anymore. It's trying to protect me and doing a terrible job. It's another place where you can look at your body as an external adversary versus a system that your mind is also a part of. But also no matter how you look at it, I am still sick.

There's also some stuff in the piece about the helplessness that comes from being sick which (surprise!) I also have mixed feelings about. Because it sucks not having control over your body! I want to be supervising that shit. But also... I don't know how common this is, but there is a weird kind of comfort in being tucked in bed with someone else taking care of me. I even find going into surgery oddly relaxing because for a while my life will be someone else's problem.

At the same time I also worry that I'm using disability as an excuse. Am I begging off attending something because I really am tired or worried about exposure/overwork or do I just not want to go?

Finally we have Aro Angst because that's always on my mind. And it's extra on my mind in the context of disability because what if I get to the point where I can't take care of myself anymore? I don't have a romantic partner to help me or to provide health insurance if I can't work. I live near my parents and have passed up job opportunities that would take me further away. Most specifically for this story, even I find myself sometimes falling into the trap of assuming the ultimate endstate of closeness/intimacy would be romantic/sexual bc of cultural conditioning. It's annoying! So the character (Dani, I named her Danielle in a reference to the Daniel/the cooler Daniel meme) is still seeking the community, care, and closeness she experienced as part of the disabled community, and the messier weirder intimacy of feeling connected to her own body, but she's struggling with interpreting that through cultural norms of amatonormativity. Sometimes 'I want to be inside you/I want you inside me' is, shockingly, not a sex thing. Hence, toxic nonhorny clone makeouts. I guess???

Side note: I've mentioned this wrt pieces I've written with aromanticism that follow a similar pattern of taking something I am at least not too consciously dramatic about and making the MC a pathetic wet cat about it. I guess they are serving the purpose of Everyman in a medieval morality play here. They are crash test dummies I am flinging at walls to count the cracks. Not great character writing but that's not what this is about rn.