#This sucks honestly
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Guys…how would you feel if I drew lesbians? (And gave Courtney a Redesign)
#artists on tumblr#art#my art shit#this sucks honestly#total drama#katie total drama#TD Katie#Katie TD#courtney total drama#td courtney#courtney TD#I have court a redesign because I can#‘oh shit’#CourtKate#katney#courtie#katney TD#TD katney#courtie TD#TD courtie#courtie or katney?#which one we feelin’?#I have no idea how to do the white outline thingy
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Hey! So my tablet broke or exploded or something and it’s not turning on, it’s definitely not a battery thing since last time I used it it was around 80% battery? Yeah, so this means there won’t be any digital art until things get solved, which is a pain in the ass bc I was working on shit and trying out new ways of rendering and colouring that I wanted later to post and see if y’all liked it.
Whats worse is that I had to do a video project for school and I cannot edit it or do anything, I have no alternatives so this is fun haha (I even was going to do some animation to personalise it a bit maaaannn…).
Anyways yeah, don’t expect high quality art I may just post doodles I have lying around or something.
#this sucks honestly#I cannot draw on digital#head in hands#panicking rn#tears in my eyes#as I try to convince myself not to cry#while drawing on a paper#carly storytime
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#me after my bf told me he's doubting our relationship and having doubst about if he stills loved me#but won't answer when i ask questions like 'what can we do'#'what can i do to improve this situation?#and the only answer he gave me was when i asked 'do you want to take a break from the relationship?'#and his answer was 'no i want to continue like normal'#and here i am wanting to beg for love#but i think i have a little tiny bit of dignity because I'm resisting the urge to beg#BUT ALSO#I'm super mad because my mom has cancer and she's gonna have surgery this monday#so#I also think that was a little bit of an asshole move#BUT MY PRIORITIES ARE RIGHT OK????#my mom is first i don't have time to play his games#BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?????#i thought everything was okay in our relationship so when he was like 'i think I'm having doubts about my love for you'#I HAD THE CRISIS OF MY LIFE#because i was (am) so lost and confused#WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER 7 YEARS#SINCE WE WERE 15!!!!!!!!!!!!#This sucks honestly#SORRY FOR THE RANT
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I left my house at 11:30 and I'm still going to get to my friends house past 1 pm, not because her house is far but because of the fucking buses
Mark my words
Edit: I WAS RIGHT it's 13:08 and I know it isn't that bad but I was planning to get here at 12
#this sucks honestly#why did the app tell me a bus was going to pass in 15 minutes and another one was going to pass at 12#its been almost 50 minutes and no buses have passed
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went to hozier concert last night and....I fear I may no longer have the stamina or emotional capacity to attend even medium capacity-level shows anymore
#this sucks honestly#I used to go to shows like every couple months or so pre-2020#and literally go alone!!#I used to do everything alone!!#but now everything takes like 100x the amount of effort and I just like...need someone to hold my hand#like I can't even enjoy the music bc I'm surrounded by 4000 people all having full volume conversations or are on their phones#DURING THE PERFORMANCE#hozier I love you so much this has nothing to do with you personally.
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This is petty fandom salt, BUT... I've been chewing on this phenomenon that I've been calling "Fandom's Darling". It is related to things like "Author's Darling" and "Mary Sue / Gary Stu" and "Protagonist Halo" and all that jazz, where one character gains a peculiar narrative weight in a story.
"Author's Darling" is when a writer has a favorite character, and the world and all other characters sort of get... warped to put the Darling in the spotlight. It's most noticeable in TV shows with multiple writers, when a character you personally like suddenly has their previous characterization destroyed to make another character look good somehow. Every other character might become weirdly incompetent. The Darling's feelings are treated as The Most Important Feelings in any given situation. The logic of the fictional world seems broken past suspension of disbelief in order to validate this one character's beliefs or skillset or some other fantasy. And so on.
"Fandom's Darling" is what I've been calling the pattern where a fandom essentially crowns a New Protagonist for their fanfiction stories (it's often a side character rather than the original protagonist, but it can also happen to protagonists). This character becomes the self-insert for all sorts of indulgent fantasies, gaining special powers or backstories, and/or becoming the focus of extreme whump, and/or hooking up with all the various hotties, starring in all sorts of tropey AUs, and so on. They're not always an obvious Mary Sue version of themselves, but the character's original personality and interpersonal relationships tend to get warped or dropped completely, and other characters tend to become a little flat around them. I call it "Fandom's Darling" because it's not just one self-indulgent fantasy fic (you do you! Have fun!) with characterization choices that I don't vibe with (I have neither the time nor the desire nor the authority to police anything, I am just venting), but rather a prolific mini-fandom of sorts revolving around this empty doll / fanon version of the chosen vessel character, so it becomes a little unavoidable.
I am salty about this (mildly frustrated) (imagine a soft sigh of disappointment before I just go do something else) because you are FUCKED if you actually liked the canonical version of this character and their interpersonal relationships. It's almost worse than liking an obscure character that no one cares about. There's about a thousand fics starring your fave, but maybe only about a dozen of them are actually rooted in any kind of recognisable canon.
#I didn't watch Teen Wolf but I know this happened to that Stiles character#I'm not active in any DC fandom but it looks like this happened to Tim Drake and to a lesser extent Dick and Jason#In prequels-era Star Wars it seems to be Obi-Wan; he's the spark/focus of this post here; bring back his flaws I like that he kind of sucks#sometimes a Fandom's Darling comes out of an Author's Darling! usually Fandom's are vessels to fuck the “hottest guy” available though#I will probably turn reblogs off if this spreads too far because I really don't care if people write Mary Sue fanfic; can't cast that stone#squinting at every “intersex” tag like Inigo Montoya: “I don't think that means what you think it means.”#honestly the fantasy intersex thing is a separate & more serious post; but the fandom usage is a red/yellow flag for me when searching#tossawary fandom#fandom's darling
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Thinking about the time I lost a game of Overwatch and I was so mad about it that I genuinely considered getting into shit with the other team in chat and then realized that it was a colossal waste of my living breathing Human Time and uninstalled Overwatch instead because it was only making me angry.
And then thought about the OTHER time when I was on TikTok and realized I was Not Enjoying Myself and was, in fact, seeing so many sad videos and fake influencer ads that I felt Truly Despondent and then just…Deleted it.
Imo I want my social media /general media experience to be a pleasant break from real world and I get to decide what I get to cull to make that a reality for myself. I highly reccomended it! Life has improved considerably!
#look not having social medias is not My Personality#however like. no twitter. no insta. no tiktok.#do I know anything???? no.#am I up to date on literally anything pop-culture????? also no#and if that stuff’s important to you absolutely stick with it!#maybe this is a direct reaction to growing up terminally online from 2012 onward but i am freeeeee#it’s honestly made a huge difference in my life! i CAN just say no to these apps that want to suck all my time away!!!!
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well….it finally happened
#rip rt#the good times were certainly good <3#rt#roosterteeth#rooster teeth#honestly this is how i’m finding out it was officialy rooster teeth and not one word#if anyone doesn’t read the article but reads my tags (??) it looks like only the podcasts are carrying on for the time being#they’re shopping around rwby and shows like that and the roost which is the podcast side of things but otherwise#also apparently there’ll be a stream on the rt site tomorrow talking about it if anyone is interested#idk this sucks#be good to the people who were still there they deserve it#warner media on the other hand…..rot <3
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this year I will become a powerful lesbian
#by the way this post is honestly kinda stressing me out because I'm trans and not everyone thinks m->f trans people can be lesbians so I'm#kinda nervous I may attract some hate from this which really sucks
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birth of venus except it sucks!
#slayed too close to the sun#beautifully tho#the locked tomb#cytherea the first#cytherea loveday#gideon the ninth#tlt#art#my art#for those who think im being self deprecating about ‘it sucks!’ im honestly not😭😭#its about ‘the birth’ sucking for everyone involved!!
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like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?
(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#if i had a nickel for every time a draconia ob'd while trying to save lilia#and had to be taken out by a member of this one specific bloodline with sparkly celestial hair that a fairy blessed#et cetera and so on you know the rest#i mean we know it's going to end better this time but y'know. the parallels!#oh meleanor my beloved#of course...of course she ob'd...it makes sense...#everything about this whole situation just massively sucked for everyone huh#well at least silver's biodad felt guilty about killing her i guess#i dunno i'm just havin' some feelings about all of this#lilia had both the absolute worst and absolute best things about his life come out of all this#down the two great loves of his life and also his job and reputation and 200 years of his life and uhhhh kind of everything else honestly#up some kids though!#(also one of those kids is a baby dragon who is JUST the right size to put silly hats on)#they were worth it to him! or maybe they were worth not giving up? look i am DEEP in the blorbosauce right now#if you don't want to read emotional tags about lilia twistedwonderland then don't come to egophiliac.tumblr.com
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Scholarly peak is catching up on recent literature
#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#svsss#sqq#lbh#my art#which is honestly just to say that i've finished the other two print books i was reading#and am now prepared to leap feet first into svsss bk4#i succeeded in holding off for an entire two weeks. i have the conviction of a wet paper towel.#lets see bk4 was described as - what? - an ''angst and smut pile''??#i am very much looking forward to this#i was promised a story with my snake boy#because i am very much not over zhuzhi-lang's fate so this had better be A REALLY NICE HAPPY ONE FOLKS#anyway have sqq and lbh cuddling and reading as i project on them#i like to assume that as time goes on sqq is able to relax his persona a bit more around lbh#i think he should get to cuddle and bitch about shitty novels#but man sqh is really the ONLY source of any books that have an even slightly modern cadence/style i have a feeling sqq would be very keen#though if i'm being honest i really wonder if sqh could ever bring himself to write fiction again#if you're A Writer it tends to be hard to RESIST you just get an itch to tell a story#but also like... the fear that all of this could happen again... or that the characters you're creating might be REAL and SUFFERING...#yeah... i honestly suspect he can't write anymore and that it honestly probably sucks a lot... but for the sake of this joke he is :P
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"Fuck, man. What else is there to say?"
Excerpts from the BoJack Horseman Pony Express
MOUTHWASHING (2024), dev. Wrong Organ
#mouthwashing edit#bojack horseman#gamingedit#dailyvideogames#indie edit#mouthwashing#~mouthwashing#~#mouthwashing spoilers#okay i had SO MUCH FUN EMULATING THE TEXT GIFS BUT ALSO IT SUCKED#i think i'm cooking here honestly so i'm happy with this no matter what :')#this game... and of course the theme of dodging accountability fits so well with bojack#not gonna lie the whole pony express thing 10000% helped me make that connection sjdkslghd
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twitter is doing something really dumb again so expect some refugees
i’m gonna stop posting my art there except to selfpromo now :,-)
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oh phil wanted to share a real ick but it would've been tooooo real
#this video is truly and honestly sucking all my energy and life force dry#i have nothing left#i am a husk#this is so evil#phan
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Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.
And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’
#solarpunk#anti pesticides#ani rambles#this is coming from personal opinion at 4am keep that in mind but like#I’m scared of roaches. i’m fine with them outside though#my parents dont like roaches and for good reason. they spray Ortho Home Defense along the veeery edge of the concrete by the doors to#keep roaches and shit from coming in because yknow. Florida.#if I tell them ‘hey actually we shouldn’t spray pesticides inside (ie raid spray) or outside (ie home defense)#theyre gonna ask wtf to do instead to prevent roaches#and if I tell them ‘nothing suck it up buttercup’ they’re gonna laugh and then double down on the sprays#we gotta have an alternative ready and honestly maybe I’m not looking in the right places but I genuinely don’t know of any#like one online friend told me leaving brush piles around the yard decreased the amount of bugs trying to come in but like#thats one person. anecdotal. and I haven’t seen anything online confirming that as a thing (yet)#idk man I’m going to bed.#might delete later#house pest saga
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