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folkpages · 6 years ago

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Review: Carry On

Rowell, R (2006). Carry On. Pan Macmillan.

4/5 stars

“Well, how am I supposed to know? There isn’t a book is there? All the Magickal Things that are Actually True and All the Ones that Are Bollocks, Just Like You Thought.”

Simon Snow just wants to relax and savour his last year at the Watford School of Magicks, but no one will let him. His girlfriend broke up with him, his best friend is a pest and his mentor keeps trying to hide him away in the mountains where maybe he'll be safe. Simon can't even enjoy the fact that his room-mate and longtime nemesis is missing, because he can't stop worrying about the evil git. Plus there are ghosts. And vampires. And actual evil things trying to shut Simon down. When you're the most powerful magician the world has ever known, you never get to relax and savour anything.Based on the characters Simon and Baz who featured in Rainbow Rowell's bestselling novel Fangirl, Carry On is a ghost story, a love story, a mystery and a melodrama. It has just as much kissing and talking as you'd expect from a Rainbow Rowell story - but far, far more monsters. (x)

I’ve heard of Rainbow Rowell before, but under the assumption that she only wrote contemporaries. I’d seen a lot of snowbaz on Tumblr and finally decided to track down just where this ship came from and was surprised to see it was a Rainbow Rowell fantasy novel, which I just had to read. I went into this knowing absolutely nothing, not even who the main character Simon was going to end up with. All I knew was that it was a parody of the chosen one trope written like fan fiction.

Pro: Characters. All the characters are well rounded and likable, even the villain to a certain extent. We see all of their motivations and fears through their points of view, and all of them are distinct from each other.

Con: Use of English Idioms. Some of the idioms in this book aren’t quite used correctly, which I believe is done on purpose as the book is a parody. However as an English person myself, this is extremely annoying.

Pro: Romance. The romance was well written and believable. We see it from both characters’ points of view which is really well done and gives me the warm fuzzies.

Pro: The Magic System. The magic system was honestly lovely and rather easy to follow. The use of common phrases and sayings as both useful and disastrous spells is incredibly entertaining to read, particularly Simon’s failings with them and Baz and Penny’s eloquence with them.

Simon Snow: A clear parody of the Harry Potter type chosen one trope, Simon is a loveable idiot that you want to hug and shake him while screaming “it’s a crush not a murder plot” at the same time. An enjoyable character to read, Simon is funny, relatable and so uninterested in being the chosen one when he has an evil vampire boyfriend roommate to find and harass. Truly a breath of fresh air, he’s a chosen one who is both terrible and great at being the chosen one; he is ridiculously powerful and yet is terrible at casting spells, owns and can use a magical sword, that is mostly unnecessary for the events of the book, so on and so forth. I personally adore him.

Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch AKA Baz: The rival of Simon Snow and a surprising love interest, Baz is Simon’s presumed evil vampire roommate who lives solely to make Simon’s life a misery. When he doesn’t show up for his last year at school Simon is concerned he’s in trouble off plotting to end the world and kill him. Baz is essentially a funny character with a sarcastic sense of humor and a remarkable amount of self-loathing and self-awareness the other characters just don’t seem to possess. He’s also just as dumb as every other teenage boy and shows his feelings through bullying. Hence the ‘evil vampire roommate.’

Penelope Bunce AKA Penny: Penny is Simon’s best friend and the Hermione Granger type influence within the story, if slightly crazier. Penny is an all-around awesome character, brave to the point of stupidity and more curious than a cat. Penny gets some of the best oneliners in the novel and is the driving force of sheer competence that gets things actually done after Simon and Baz kick things off.

Agatha Wellbelove: Agatha starts out as your generic love interest for the chosen one and absolutely resents it. While she considers Simon a dear friend, is far more interested his evil roommate much to his dismay. Agatha gets some of the best development in my opinion, and is, for me personally, the most relatable character. She’s also my favorite.

The Mage AKA Davy: Simon’s mentor ad the Headmaster at Watford, he makes questionable choices and everyone but Simon hates him apparently. I originally liked him well enough, but slowly grew to hate him but in the way that you love to hate a good villain. I’m happy with how his story ended, but I would still love to read more of his origins!

Worldbuilding: I briefly touched on this earlier, but I do adore the culture and magic system Rainbow Rowell has built here. The magic system works off the fact that the world is covered in natural magic, that magic-users draw upon to cast spells which are popular phrases and words. “On love’s light wings” gives a user truly in love the ability to fly and “Out! Out damned spot!” cleans up. The possibilities for this are endless for all it is a relatively simple system, and I can’t wait to see what more becomes of it in the sequel. The culture of magicians shown throughout the book is also well done if a little vague. We see the split between the “evil” traditionalists like the Pitches and Grimms and the more revolutionary figures like The Mage. We also see a little of their laws and day to day work through the eyes of Simon while he visits his friend’s houses and meets their parents.

Plot: Carry On is your basic chosen one trope reversed into a parody. The overarching plot of Simon vs the Humdrum was rather predictable, but the subplots were done marvelously. While it is pretty easy to figure out who the mysterious Lucy is, we still appreciate her chapters and want to read more of her story. The same goes for Baz’ minor vampires subplot, which was both hilarious and heartbreaking to follow.

Writing Style: Carry On is written in a fanfiction style format and the writing is beautiful and nuanced with Rowell subtly shifting styles to reflect the characters, For instance, Simon, who speaks with a stutter and fumbles his spell pronunciation has long, complex sentences in his POV whereas Baz, who is vocally eloquent and quick-witted but an utter emotional mess on the inside has short, choppy often ungrammatical sentences in his thoughts to reflect this. It’s masterfully done.

Conclusion: I loved this book and it’s easily become a favorite! It would have easily been a 5/5 for me had it not been for the irritating idioms and predictability (if you’re not English and annoyed feel free to consider this 5/5!). I would honestly recommend Carry On to everyone, even if you don’t like contemporary (I haven’t read any of Rowell’s contemporary works), I would suggest giving this a try!

The sequel, Wayward Son comes out 2019.

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briangroth27 · 7 years ago

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Game Night Review

Game Night is awesome! It could so easily have gone off the rails into unbelievability—and it runs right up to the limit at one point during the climax—but the whole thing just works. The cast is excellent, the jokes are funny, and the script is a fantastic blend of comedy, romance, mystery, and action.

Spoilers… Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams are perfect as Max and Annie, who routinely host game night for their friends and are the most closely tied to the maybe-real crime plot once Max's brother Brooks (Kyle Chandler) is kidnapped (or "kidnapped?"). Both Bateman and McAdams are excellent at grounding things just enough while playing into the more farcical nature of the movie, making them feel like real (and really funny) people in an extraordinary situation. They crafted characters who I'd enjoy hanging out with, while Chandler is superb as Max’s slightly sleazy, more successful older brother. I'm not used to seeing him in roles like this, but he totally made me forget Friday Night Lights’ Coach Taylor. It was also refreshing to see a comedy with such a heavy focus on relationships that wasn't afraid to swap the traditional gender roles for Max and Annie. At first I thought the subplot about their attempts to have kids might be unnecessary, but it worked very well and brought realistic stress into Max and Annie’s marriage while building into the dysfunctional relationship between Max and Brooks perfectly.

There isn't a weak link in the cast and Kevin (Lamorne Morris) and Michelle (Kylie Bunbury) form the grounded end of the couple spectrum very well. In an lesser movie, their argument about one of their sexual histories would've been a massive downer and source of unnecessary drama, but I liked that both the writing and actors made it clear that there was no relationship on the line here: they love each other and this is a minor (yet funny) speed bump. I'm also glad they weren't just there to be the straight men to everyone else; they got a lot of funny material of their own! Billy Magnussen was a delight as Max and Annie’s dim-witted friend Ryan, who always brings a new girl to game night and is obsessed with the idea that rich people play very different games. He gets a lot of mileage out of not understanding things, but he could’ve easily come off as so dumb that it's unrealistic the rest of them would be friends with him and Magnussen walked that line masterfully. His date for this game night is Sarah (Sharon Horgan) and even without a personal stake in the events, she fit seamlessly into the group. They could've added more of an outsider's perspective to her beyond the dawning realization of just how dumb Ryan is, but everyone was in such a bizarre situation that I don't think we needed that. The will they/won't they between Sarah and Ryan was sweet without overpowering any other couple's relationship and I liked the reason they eventually gave her for sticking with the group when she had no real reason to. The camaraderie and chemistry of all six main characters made me want to get a group of friends together for game night or an escape room on a regular basis. Jesse Plemons' Officer Gary, Max and Annie’s neighbor (and former invitee to their game nights, before getting divorced and becoming real weird), was the most outlandish character, but he was so funny that it totally worked in the context of everything else going on. As much of an absolute weirdo as Gary was, the writers and Plemons found places to give him just enough sadness, loneliness, and sympathy to humanize him, making him more than just a quirky neighbor. Overexposing Gary would've been too much of a good thing, but they used him the exact right amount. I can't think of another character or actor who could make simply welcoming people into his home as absurdly hilarious as Plemons does here! The plot itself absolutely kept me guessing and I’m eager to go back and watch it again. I kinda expected more riddles/puzzles in the main plot, but there are enough to be satisfying. As the characters get deeper into a potentially real criminal mystery, those puzzles are reconfigured in ways that are still intriguing and make sense for advancing the plot. Additionally, the movie finds ways to twist games into fun, danger-filled sequences, like an intense version of keep-away. There is a post-credit scene, so definitely stick around for that! The title sequence in the end credits also details a vital part of the plot, which was funny in its own right.

The pacing is excellent and the action scenes (there are many more than I expected) are very well done! The jokes are funny and the characters feel like adults without being "mature" via excessive violence or language (they curse, but it feels like a normal amount). The humor never felt cruel, except towards the characters we're not supposed to like (and even then, it was never nasty, but something you might say about a sibling you don’t get along with). There are a lot of references to other movies in the dialogue, but they never felt like they didn’t belong or were too much, given this group of trivia-obsessed people. For the entire runtime, I was fully into these characters and this ride; this absolutely joins Clue and The Radioland Murders as my favorite farcical mystery films. Game Night is one of my favorite movies of the year so far and it’s definitely worth seeing in theaters!

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!

#game night #rachel mcadams #jason bateman #lamorne morris #kylie bunbury #kyle chandler #jesse plemons #billy magnussen #sharon horgan

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thesffcorner · 6 years ago

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January Wrap Up

January was a great reading month for me; I read 12 books and 2 comics. Weirdly it was also a month of me reading out of my usual zone: I read 3 fantasy books, 1 sci-fi book, 3 urban fantasies, 1 poetry book, 1 contemporary romance, 1 mystery, 1 thriller, and 1 erotic thriller. So without further ado, let’s go from lowest rated to highest:

Corrupt by Penelope Douglas (2 stars):

Corrupt was a book I started in 2018 and finished in 2019. It’s not a book I liked, but I was committed to finishing it (even though it’s 500 pages) for 2 reasons: 1, I wanted to get to the ‘scene’, and 2, I had read 200 pages already and I was too stubborn to quit.

This book is a dual perspective: it follows Erica, a college student who has been in love with her best friend/boyfriend Travis’ older brother her whole life, and Michael, said brother who is a professional basketball player. When Erica was 16 something happened, which sent Michael’s 3 best friends to jail for 3 years; now they are out and plan on exacting their revenge on her, and destroying her life.

Do NOT let the synopsis fool you; this book is not nearly as suspenseful or interesting as it sounds. I have a long-ass rant review on this book, if you want more of my thoughts, but essentially it boils down to this: the characters aren’t actually developed or morally corrupt enough, for the thriller parts to work, and the sex scenes are badly paced and start too far into the book for those who are into this just for the erotica. Throw is some casual homophobia, alpha-male, casually sexist behavior, a passive main character and a basketball player who never plays basketball, and this was the definition of a wasted premise.

You by Caroline Kepnes (2 stars):

I read You as part of the Biannual bibliothon, but also because I saw that the Netflix show had come out. The first 50 or so pages of this book were very interesting; I really liked the premise and enjoyed Joe’s misanthropic grumpiness. But soon afterwards I found myself mostly bored, and annoyed by all the characters, and like Corrupt before, I thought it was too long, and not thrilling enough for a thriller.

We follow Jo, a man with some trouble with social interaction, who works at a bookstore. When Beck, a pretty young masters student, walks into the bookstore and flirts with him, he begins stalking her in an attempt to become her boyfriend, and we follow his increasingly delusional and even life-threatening attempts to win Beck over.

The main issue I has with this book were the characters; I didn’t like Jo, I didn’t like Peach and I just wanted all of them to choke. I also didn’t find the second person narrative the book dipped into particularly compelling, because I didn’t like or relate to Beck at all; the only thing I enjoyed was NYC, and that one scene on the subway.

Empress of All Seasons by Emiko Jean (2 stars):

Empress of All Seasons was the first proper fantasy I read this year, and it was a disappointment. I really wanted to love it, and like many of the books in this group it started well enough; it was just too short and unfocused to deliver on its premise.

We follow three characters: Mari, a yokai animal wife, whose only goal in life is to go to the royal palace, defeat the four seasonal rooms and marry the prince, then steal his fortune and escape; Akira, the son of nightmares, Mari’s best friend and a half-human, half-yokai boy who gets involved in a yokai rebellion; and Taro, the prince, who has a strained relationship with his father the emperor, and prefers inventing metal companions, rather than spending time with people.

I think even just saying this synopsis, you will probably realize what the main issue with this book is; there is just too much going on and not enough time for any of it. In comparison with the other fantasy I read this month, this book tried to do too much and failed to deliver on most things, with underdeveloped characters, and a plot that felt like you were sitting on the fast forward button.

Binti: Home by Nnedi Okorafor (2 stars):

Binti: Home is the second of the novellas in this series, and it also got 2 stars. It suffers from all the same issues as Empress; too many plot threads, not enough time to develop any of it, with the additional issues of having plot threads left from the previous novella that are left hanging, and a much more confused main character.

We follow Binti as she travels back to Earth, so she can complete a pilgrimage that would make her a full Himba woman, as she’s having visions and experiencing bursts of unfounded rage after the events of her arrival at the university. She takes Okwu with her, as an emissary for the Meduse, but very quickly things start going wrong, when she comes into conflict with both the Khoush, her own family and the Desert people and their most sacred god.

My criticism stands; there is just not enough time to properly develop this plot, so things feel rushed and unmotivated. Binti is a character who doesn’t seem to progress; she’s constantly caught in a loop of self-doubt and self-loathing, which isn’t congruent with both her abilities as master harmonizer and her rebellious streak. Okwu gets no development, and the cliffhanger at the end is the only thing keeping me invested in this series.

Emergency Contact by Mary H K Choi (3 stars):

Emergency Contact was a book that I expected I probably won’t like, and I ended up liking, but only parts of. All the issues I had a feeling I would have I did have, and it was only really the humor and the sheer curiosity to see how the book would end was what kept me reading.

We follow a dual perspective between Penelope, a freshman in college who wants to be a writer, and Sam, a boy who wants to be a documentarian. The two meet in the coffee shop where Sam works, and after Sam has a panic attack which he confuses for a heart attack, Penelope helps him and they become each other's emergency contacts.

The parts I liked from this book were mostly to do with the side characters, Penny’s writing class and story, some of the jokes and writing, but what I ended up disliking were the weird passes Penny gets for her horrible behavior, the fact that Sam doesn’t get a conclusion, his entire subplot with his film and his ex, just… a lot of things. I have a more detailed review of this book, which you can read if you want more of my specific thoughts.

Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill (3 stars):

This is a poetry collection, that also includes some shorts stories, most if not all based around re-imaginings of fairy tales. There were some poems I liked, some I didn’t care for and some which I disliked. There was one poem and one short story I really loved too. For the most part, a rather average collection.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire (3 stars):

This is the first book is a series, which I originally wasn’t going to read, but I kept hearing about how good these books are, and with the fourth coming out and having to do with the Goblin Market, I figured I’d give it a try.

We follow Nancy, a girl who has just returned from a portal word, and arrives at Eleanor West’s home for Wayward Children, to learn how to cope with being back in the real world. In this school she meets others like her, but when her roommate gets killed and her hands stolen, things start going really wrong at this supposed sanctuary.

This got 3 stars, purely because of the characters. I loved most, if not all of them, and I wanted to learn more about the different worlds, though not necessarily go to the worlds. The mystery of the murderer mostly reminded me of the plot with the basilisk in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and as such I had a lot of issues with the decisions the adults in this book made. Can’t say I liked this book too much, but I am curious to see if maybe I’ll like the series when it focuses on the portal worlds a bit more.

Red Glove by Holly Black (4 stars):

Breaking in form a bit, so I can talk about this series in order. Red Glove is the second in the Curse Workers trilogy, and I really enjoyed it. I’m weird in that I tend to like middle books in a lot of series, and this was no exception.

In this book we follow Cassel trying to cope with the events from the previous book, when the FBI approaches him, after his older brother Phillip has been killed, to tell him that Phillip had become an informant. This leads Cassel into making a complex web of deceit and cons so he can protect himself and the rest of his family from the feds and the Zacharovs, while also trying not to fail school.

I enjoyed this book more than the first in some aspects, mostly in how much it expands the world and the politics. I continued to love Cassel as a character, and I even cared about his romance with Lila. Solid second book, and probably my favorite in the series.

Black Heart by Holly Black (3 stars):

This was the third and final book, and unfortunately it wasn't as good as the rest. The ending itself was fine, and there were some very interesting plot points and twists I didn’t see coming. But the middle of the book dragged a lot, and what was up until that point a nuanced view of morality, personal responsibility and adulthood, felt a lot more simplified and black or white in this book.

We follow Cassel, who while stalking Lila with Baron, encounters a death worker who performs a hit for Lila, and pulls Cassel in a complicated plot to transform the Governor of New Jersey. There are a lot of threads in this final book, and Cassel has to pull the biggest con of his life if he wants to survive.

The issue, was mostly with the pacing; there is a whole section in the middle where absolutely nothing happens, and we spend so much time on a B plot that serves only to distract Cassel from the Governor Patton business and to get Sam and Daneca out of the ending. This part dragged the book down for me, even though the ending parts were great. I still recommend the series as a whole, and I’m sad there hasn’t been some kind of spin-off with Gage or even Baron’s FBI adventures.

This is Our Story by Ashley Elston (4 stars):

This was the first proper book I read in 2019 and I loved it. It’s a solid mystery with a great atmosphere and a pretty cool twist and a main character I really enjoyed.

We follow Kate, a senior in high school who interns for the DA in a small town in Louisiana. After a rich, private school student named Grant dies in what appears to be a hunting accident, Kate gets sucked into a mystery of who’d done it, because the DA doesn’t seem to think it was an accident.

I really liked this book; apart from the ending which was a bit over-dramatic, everything was well paced, well written and believable. Kate as a protagonist was great, I liked the love interest, the twists that happen and in general I am excited to see what else this author comes out with.

Check, please! Year 1 and Check, please! Year 2 by Ngozi Ukazu (4 stars):

I have read Check, Please! Before, while it was still coming out as a web-comic; I got to the winter break of year 4 and then stopped. I decided to reread the series and catch up, when I saw that the collected volumes of year 1 and 2 were on goodreads. And it was great decision.

This is just such a heartwarming and entertaining series. It follows Bittie, who at the start is a freshman in Samwell College, a Canadian university which is famous for its hockey team. Despite being more of a figure skater, Bittie gets an athletic scholarship to play hockey, and the the comic follows his 4 years on the team, as well as the many adventures of school, competition, love and adulthood.

Year 1 focuses mostly on the team, and Bittie’s struggle with checking; he has a tendency to freeze and even faint as a response to contact. We also see him develop friendships with other teammates, most notably the captain Jack, who has his own host of issues and baggage, being the son of an incredibly famous and well respected hockey player who won the Stanley cup twice.

Year 2 follows Bittie’s love life, as he develops a crush on someone from the team, and all the heartbreak and joy that come from it. It also sees Shitty and Jack graduate and play their very last college hockey season.

If I have to pick, I’d say I like year 2 a bit more than year 1, mostly because it seems both me and Ukazu got a better grasp on the characters and the style of the comic. The art likewise improved immensely, especially in the facial expression department. It’s a great series and I recommend you read it; even if you don’t want to/can’t support the e-book/physical bindup of this series, it’s all available for free on the website.

Small Spaces by Katherine Arden (4 stars):

I had no intention of reading this book, but I saw it was available, and read it. It was a great decision, because this is a fast paced, entertaining horror middle-grade, with some great characters and an excellent atmosphere.

Olivia, or Olie is a 6th grader, who used to be a great student, well loved on the softball and chess team, and well liked by her classmates, but after a traumatic event, she locks in on herself, and spends most of her time alone, reading books. When she sees a woman, trying to throw a book into a creek, she steals the book, and strange and creepy things start happening as she reads; and they all seem to be connected to the book.

This was just a lot of fun. I loved the characters, I really liked the atmosphere and the horror elements; there were some genuinely creepy scenes involving scarecrows, ghosts, haunted houses and corn mazes. The main villain, the Smiling Man was also creepy and clever, even though it was pretty predictable as to who it was, and I enjoyed the way Olie beat him. I’m so glad this will be a series because I can’t wait to read the rest.

The Boneless Mercies by April Genevieve Tucholke (5 stars):

The last book I read in January, and it was my favorite and the only 5 star read.

The Boneless Mercies follows Frey, the leader of a group of 4 girls and one boy who roam the land and perform mercy killings in exchange for money. After being hired to kill a sick child, Frey decides that she can’t go on with the job, and suggests that her group go and kill the Blue Vee Beast; a mysterious monster terrorizing that part of the land. On their journey, the girls encounter witches, magic and death, and Frey comes to realize that a quest for glory may cost more than she’s willing to pay.

I absolutely loved this book. It ticks all of my boxes; a group of competent and interesting female characters; a melancholic tone; a beautiful, gloomy atmosphere; a sense of a land lost to time, a world after the age of heroes has passed; explorations of death, grief, womanhood; romantic subplots. It’s a book told like an epic tale which makes sense since it’s based on Beowulf, and it doesn’t hold any punches; it’s relentless in the tone and the things the girls have to do to survive, things that haunt them even after the end. If you love these types of books, I highly, highly recommend it.

#january wrap up #moni talks #reading wrap up

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dorkforty · 7 years ago

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Art by Tom Kelly: https://tomkellyart.deviantart.com/gallery/

So it’s been a while since we did any Fantastic Four Re-Mix. A full year, in fact. What can I say? I hit a snag in the plot and let myself get tripped up on it. And I’ve always felt just slightly silly doing these things, anyway, so it seemed better to just wander off. But I re-read the earlier chapters recently, and realized that I liked them quite a bit. That lead me back in, and I had enough story left to tell that I decided to unsnarl my plot and keep going.

(And then, of course, they announced this week that they’re finally launching a new Fantastic Four book this summer. So I figured that, if I was going to finish this thing, I needed to go ahead and do it.)

But like I said… It’s been a while. So I suppose some explanations are in order. If this is your first time encountering the Fantastic Four Remix, for instance, I’m sure you have some questions…

WHAT IS IT? A far-more-complicated-than-I-imagined working-through of some ideas I had to relaunch the Fantastic Four from scratch, in the present-day.

WHY WOULD ANYONE DO SUCH A THING? Because I love the Fantastic Four. And since there hasn’t been an FF book in a while, I figured I might as well fill the gap.

WHY NOT JUST WRITE STORIES THEN, YOU FREAK? Because I had a lot of ground I wanted to cover, and wasn’t willing to devote that much time to writing characters I don’t own without getting paid for it. I love my readers, but I don’t love them THAT much.

IF YOU REALLY LOVED US, YOU’D WRITE MORE FUNNYBOOK REVIEWS! Piss off! I’m just having fun here, okay?! Gahd! Get off my back!

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. SO WHERE COULD I READ THE REST OF THIS NONSENSE? IF I WAS INTERESTED? WHICH I’M NOT. Nope. Sorry. Not gonna tell ya. You were rude.

OH FOR GOD’S SAKE! I’M SORRY, OKAY? I’D REALLY LIKE TO READ THEM. IF ONLY TO SEE HOW STUPID YOU ARE. Well… Okay. Previous chapters of the FF Remix can be found here:

https://dorkforty.wordpress.com/tag/fantastic-four-remix/

ALRIGHT, THEN! Alright!

Ahem. Sorry about that. These new readers can be SO touchy. For the rest of you, though…

WHAT HAS COME BEFORE: Oh, lots of stuff. I am nothing if not a complicated plotter. To really steep yourself in all the various details, you’d have to go back and read the whole thing. I’ll try to fill in background where I can, but here’s a rough overall picture to get you started:

Reed Richards put together a team for a mission to explore the Negative Zone: Ben Grimm (pilot)! Johnny Storm (mechanic)! Susan Storm (the journalist who tells their story to the world)! But upon arrival, they collided with an alien artifact and were bombarded with THE POWER COSMIC! This gave them their familiar powers as the Fantastic Four. They uncover a SECRET INVASION plot by the shape-shifting alien SKRULL, which is an on-going subplot. Reed’s friendly rival VICTOR VON DOOM hires the team to test his experimental TIME PLATFORM, and in the process, Ben becomes Blackbeard (dubbed THINGBEARD by Johnny)…

…an incident that’s still echoing through the story now. Doom is a continuing character in the Re-Mix, a villainous foil to the team, ala John Bryne’s Lex Luthor. He has an on-going scheme to wrest control of Latveria from the tyrannical regime that killed his gypsy family, and a growing suspicion that the FF represent a dangerous threat to mankind that must be eliminated. Likewise, PRINCE NAMOR the SUBMARINER is a continuing character, a noble-but-arrogant anti-hero type who has until recently been romancing Sue. As in the original story, he was discovered as a wandering amnesiac, who’d been missing since the end of World War II. But he’s since found lost Atlantis, saved it from the barbarian Attuma, and been rejected as their monarch (they adopted democracy in his absence). He’s currently serving as Atlantis’ ambassador to the UN, and is romantically entangled with the Lady Dorma.

Re-Mix Dorma is the former consort of Attuma, a fierce barbarian woman tossed aside in favor of “soft Atlantean women” when Attuma conquered Atlantis. She helped Namor defeat him, and has since been wrapped up in a quadrangle of sorts with Reed, Sue, and Namor (weird romance having become an unexpected theme of the Re-Mix). That’s all ended recently, and Reed and Sue are finally starting to look like they might get together after all (though throwing roadblocks in front of that inevitable relationship has been perversely pleasing, and I’m not quite done doing it yet).

But, Dorma. I’ve been struggling to find a decent image that matched the slightly unearthly look I wanted for her (and the Atlanteans in general), but here’s a Photoshop job I stumbled across recently that does a fair job of it. I couldn’t find reference to the artist, unfortunately. But the eyes are really striking, I think:

At any rate.

In recent issues, the Thing was captured by THE INHUMANS, who want to put him on trial for the murder of a crew of Inhuman scouts back during the THINGBEARD INCIDENT. That murder didn’t happen, however, so the rest of the team freed him, causing incredible strife within the Inhuman ruling class in the process, and then escaped from the SECRET CITY OF ATILLAN with the queen’s little sister CRYSTAL in tow. They were pursued by KARNAK and GORGON, but then there was a whole huge incident with the newly-awakened FIN FANG FOOM, and everybody teamed up to deal with it. In the aftermath, Karnak shook Ben’s hand… AND SPLIT HIM IN HALF WITH THE DEADLY ONE-INCH PUNCH! Quickly teleporting out with the aid of Lockjaw, Karnak informed the team that they were welcome to offer up a defense of Ben at his trial, in one week’s time. And that’s where we pick the story up now…

ARC FOURTEEN: THE TRIAL OF THE THING!

This will be a two-pronged arc, with one side giving a more realistic picture of Inhuman society as Crystal and Johnny return to Attilan to prepare for Ben’s trial, and the other following Reed and Sue as they search for evidence of what happened to the Inhuman scouts. But first…

PART ONE: INTERLUDE

After the all-out action of the last story arc, we take an issue to catch up with the supporting cast and our various subplots:

When last we saw Frankie Raye (Johnny Storm’s girlfriend/rival on the outlaw racing circuit)…

…she’d had a drunken make-out session with rival driver Tura. Frankie broke it off before things got too heavy, but she’s still a little shaken up by it. For one thing, she’s surprised at herself for showing such loyalty to Johnny. I mean, they’re just havin’ some fun, right? RIGHT? Hurm. Heading to the garage the next morning, she hopes to commiserate with her BFF/mechanic Wyatt Wingfoot, but instead walks in on him in the aftermath of a night of passion with Jean-Paul Valley, driver for the Northern Lights racing team (who, in another world, is the mutant super hero Northstar). This is primarily a comedic scene, but Frankie’s confusion and frustration plays off Johnny’s increasing infatuation with Crystal, setting up the inevitable triangle.

Meanwhile, Namor sponsors the Latverian rebels in their bid to be recognized by the UN. It’s a controversial choice, considering Namor’s attack on the country’s legal government alongside Latverian expatriate Dr. Doom. But Namor handles the situation with an uncharacteristic elegance, explaining that his attack is what first brought the rebels’ plight to his attention. “My actions were misguided, based on poor intelligence about a Latverian attack on Atlantis. But the Hammerfell government is tyrannical nonetheless. And just as we in Atlantis have learned to embrace democracy, I believe that the Latverian people deserve the same chance.”

Alicia Masters (blind sculptress, lady friend of the Thing, and possible Skrull) gets a visit from her father Phillip (aka the Puppet Master, a famous stage puppeteer, and a secret Skrull agent).

As he promised he would, Phillip asks Alicia if she’d have a word with the FF about making a public appearance with Gabriel (charismatic evangelist and anti-Skrull activist). Alicia looks suspicious (“Dad, what are you up to?!”), but he assures her it’s all on the up and up. “Nobody wants the Skrull off Earth more than me, honey. You know that.” The two of them exchange a meaningful look, but Alicia remains ill at ease.

Of course, WE know that Masters only met with Gabriel to give his psychoactive clay time to bond, so that he could make a puppet of the man, under orders from the Skrull high command. But Alicia evidently does not. How much she knows or doesn’t know is – hopefully – the subject of much reader speculation at this point.

We also get back to the mysterious Men in Black (who’ve been going around asking questions about the FF for purposes unknown). Somewhere in the American Midwest, the dark-haired Man in Black (the one who seems to disapprove of the team) approaches a tidy home in a small town. The name on the mailbox reads “Grimm.” A sturdily-built elderly woman answers the door. Tall, with steel-gray hair, she’s a handsome woman in spite of her age (think Big Barda as somebody’s grandma). She’s wearing a leather workman’s apron, with a pair of leather gloves tucked into the waist and a pair of safety goggles resting on her head. “Miss Petunia Grimm? I’d like to ask you some questions about your nephew…”

CUT back to Namor, relaxing in his chambers with Dorma after his speech. He expresses distaste with it. “Embracing Democracy,” it seems, is not really something he’s very interested in. Dorma (ever conniving) soothes him, reassuring him that the deception, though necessary for diplomacy, will only be temporary. “If Doom can really deliver on his promises, darling, you’ll be back on the throne again soon. And then you need never worry about lying again.” They kiss, but their embrace is interrupted by a call from Hong Kong. Namor’s annoyance turns to shock, however, when hears a voice he never thought he’d hear again: his cousin Namora, ruler of the Atlantean splinter city of Pacifica, and protector of the Pacific Rim!

(She was introduced in the Fin Fang Foom arc, but that’s wwaaayy too complicated to explain here.)

The issue closes on Dr. Doom, watching news coverage of Namor’s UN speech from multiple different international sources, to gauge world-wide reaction to his scheme. His phone rings (though a phone seems like an awfully prosaic device for Doom to be using – maybe it’s some kind of cell access built into his mask?). It’s his lawyers, telling him that his strategy for dealing with the charges against him for his part in Namor’s attack on Latveria (long story) has worked. There are a few details left to clean up, but it looks like he’ll walk away clean. Pleased, Doom turns to a computer screen and opens a document labeled “Time Drone Analytics: Latverian Overthrow Stage Two.” His reverie is interrupted, however, by an unexpected visit from Reed Richards and Susan Storm!

REED: “We need your Time Platform, Victor! Lives may depend on it!”

TO BE CONTINUED!!

TWO: HOMECOMING

This issue deals with Crystal and Johnny, returning to Attilan to prepare for the trial. Its events take place over the course of a week, as they get things in order and await Reed and Sue’s return, hopefully with evidence that will clear the Thing.

It’s an awkward homecoming for Crystal; when she fled the city with the FF, she flouted generations of cultural tradition, and abandoned her duty to Inhuman society, as well (she was betrothed to Triton, Lord of the Undersea, and Black Bolt’s only equal). If it weren’t for Karnak’s judgment of her moral superiority in the Fin Fang Foom incident, she might be tossed in a cell upon her return. But Karnak’s word holds much sway, and so she is tolerated, if not welcomed back with open arms. Her sister Medusa, in particular, treats her coldly.

Visual Note: I haven’t found many Inhumans redesigns I liked all that much, but here’s a Crystal design I stumbled across that I do like. It’s alien, but still attractive, and the pose gives her a bit more fire to boot:

It’s through these various conflicts that we gain a more balanced view of Inhuman society. Black Bolt is far from the tyrant he seemed in the first Inhumans arc. He actually rules wisely and justly, and is beloved by his people. Gorgon is revealed as a melancholy poet, rather than the brute he pretended to be in pursuit of the FF. And Karnak… His final attack on the Thing has filled him with guilt and (worse for a man of his station and abilities) doubt. He spends every minute in deep meditation, emerging only to tend Ben’s wounds.

Ben, for his part, is doing as well as can be expected. After the attack, he’s undergone a shocking physical change: his rocky outer shell having been split in half by Karnak, his body shed it like a crushed fingernail, revealing a soft “nail bed” beneath. His exposed flesh is reddish-orange and very sensitive to touch. Inhuman medicine has helped as much as possible, but he’s still obviously quite uncomfortable. He faces it with a surprising humor, however, and little of the self-pity that’s haunted him since his transformation. Over the course of the week, he endears himself to many in Attilan, and eventually confesses to Johnny that he feels comfortable there. “For once, I’m not the ugliest guy in the room.”

Part of Ben’s change stems from the time he spends with Karnak. He applies healing unguents to Ben’s sensitive flesh, his abilities allowing him to apply the medications with only the slightest discomfort. But he also teaches Ben some of his meditative techniques, teaching him how to mentally overcome the pain, and in the process, helps him find peace within himself. (Note: this is a good opportunity for some cool trippy visuals. Specifically, some of Ben’s meditations could be built around the patterns of the Thing’s rocky hide.)

Meanwhile, Medusa, Crystal, and Johnny travel with Lockjaw to contact and gather witnesses. Black Bolt (speaking, as always, through Medusa) places a strict limit on the number of outsiders allowed into Attilan, however, and vetoes any of Ben’s military buddies, arguing that agents of human governments would be beholden to reveal Attilan’s existence to their superiors. That leaves them with three options: Alicia Masters, Ben Baxter (builder/owner of the Baxter Building, and mentor to Reed), and (gathered at Ben’s suggestion) his Aunt Petunia. Alicia and Petunia come immediately, with the others agreeing to testify on the day of the trial.

We see Johnny and Crystal grow closer through all of this. His attraction is obvious, and he makes her laugh in a situation that’s otherwise very difficult for her. Triton (to whom Crystal is still technically betrothed) stands between them, making Johnny reluctant to act on his feelings. But Triton hasn’t been seen in the upper city since the confrontation in Black Bolt’s throne room, and Crystal hasn’t attempted to contact him. Her desire for freedom has only intensified since her Terrigenesis, her emotions coming more and more to mirror the tempestuousness of her elemental powers. Eventually, as the week is winding down, she makes the first move. They kiss… And are interrupted by Medusa.

In a cold fury, she informs them that, even though Reed and Sue have not returned, the trial will go on as scheduled. And Crystal has been assigned to speak for the defense.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

THREE: PLUNDER

So where the hell are Reed and Sue? The next two issues answer that question.

We open with the two of them, and Dr. Doom, preparing for a jaunt into THINGBEARD TIMES to discover the fate of the Inhuman pirates Ben is accused of murdering. They’re dressed in clothing appropriate to the era, with Doom in his more subdued “Phantom of the Opera” style mask (Re-Mix Doom has several different costume variations to suit various social situations), and a few subtle accouterments that function like his full armor, but at only a fraction of the full suit’s power level.

(I’m told these are props from one of the bad FF movies, but they give you the general idea.)

He’s also improved his Time Platform since the last time we saw it, moving on from the prototype to something more streamlined and easier to control. He’s agreed to let them use it, but only on the condition that he himself goes with them, to ensure that they do nothing to alter history… “this time.”

(In flashback, we see how Reed and Sue got from Hong Kong to New York so quickly: they hitched a ride with Aged Genghis, who transported them magically back to the Baxter Building. When they thank him for his aid, he just smiles a vacant smile and says, “Anything for Wise Grimm.” Then he disappears in a puff of smoke.)

And so they’re off! Reed has brought along a sensor device that he’s attuned to detect Terrigen energies, which he hopes to use to find the Inhuman ship and its cargo. But first, they need some idea of where to start looking. That trail begins with the historical Blackbeard, Edward Teach (who capitalized on the fear surrounding the Thingbeard Incident to take the name for himself). Teach has no idea where the Inhuman crew is, but he gives them the name of another pirate who might: Lord Plunder, who’s most likely to be found across the Atlantic along the Gold Coast of Africa.

(Plunder is, of course, a long-standing Marvel name. If you want to assume this guy’s an ancestor of Ka-Zar, I’m not gonna stop you.)

They find Plunder freshly-returned from a trip to the Savage Land, selling live velociraptors to the highest bidder. They attend the auction, hoping to use it as an in to get information out of Plunder. Reed places bids (much to Doom’s chagrin – that could alter history, after all). But luckily, he’s outbid by… THE BLACK PANTHER! This is our first glimpse of the Panther, an ancestor of the modern-day T’Challa (who we’ll see in a later arc). He uses the raptors to destroy a slave port and free some captured Wakandans. Our Heroes get swept up in that action, aiding the Panther, but being helpless to stop the carnage he unleashes in the attack. Once that’s resolved, Plunder tells them what he knows. He has done business with the Inhuman crew in the past, but last he knew, they were heading round the Cape of Good Hope and back up toward Singapore.

An aside: Among Plunder’s crew is a Savage Land native who bears a striking resemblance to Reed’s mother. Reed (who spent time in the Savage Land when his parents took him there as a child) speaks to her in her own language, asking about her heritage. She tells him that her grandparents came to the Savage Land mysteriously one day, and disappeared just as mysteriously when she was a child. And Reed, she says, looks a lot like her grandfather… (TO BE CONTINUED!!)

(Note: Other Marvel Comics pirates who could be in Plunder’s crew: Patience Drew (aka the Queen of Spiders) Jebediah Fate (an immortal) Long John McGurk (a stranded space alien) Raza Longknife (another stranded alien, posing as a Pacific Islander) Jim Spliny, Black Mike, Maura Hawke, Slug McCarthy, Fredric Falkon, Heinrich Von Grubb

Most of these would just be easter eggs, names assigned to various background characters. But since I crawled down an interweb rabbit hole to get them, I thought I should share.)

FOUR: SHIPWRECKED

Plunder’s information leads Our Heroes to the South Pacific, and the Terrigen detector leads them to the future Monster Island, where they find the Inhuman ship run aground. There’s no sign of life, or of the ship’s Terrigen cargo.

Reed, Sue, and Doom split up to search the island for clues. Reed heads immediately to the volcano at the island’s center, and confirms his suspicions: the Terrigen has already been dumped inside. Searching for the cave the team found in the last storyline, he also finds the dormant Fin Fang Foom slumbering in peace, the Terrigen’s mutagenic effects not yet birthing monsters from his flesh.

Doom, meanwhile, finds a survivor of the shipwreck in the jungle. He’s just finished covering up a mass grave, in which he’s buried the bodies of his fellow crewmen. Delirious and half-crazed, he tells Doom the story of how the ship came to be there. They were caught up in a vicious storm, the worst any of them had ever seen. Conditions were so bad that communications with Attilan became impossible, and they feared they might be lost at sea. Struggling to keep afloat, they were then set upon by an armored warrior who came out of the storm itself and slaughtered everyone. This lone survivor lived only because he was pulled overboard during the attack, and brought to the island. He was delirious through much of the experience, but he claims that his benefactor was the man who helped them retrieve the Terrigen cargo in America: Benjamin J. Grimm, the man they dubbed Blackbeard!

Because, again, I can’t post this picture enough.

Elsewhere, Sue explores the wreck of the ship. Using her ability to make other things invisible, she looks around for secret compartments, or even just things they might have overlooked on their quick initial search. After poking around a bit, she finds the ship’s log tucked away in the captain’s quarters. It confirms the FF’s departure (Reed coming off far worse than Ben), then reveals the same story just told to Doom, but (crucially) ending before the arrival of the armored warrior. She finds a knapsack among the captain’s gear, puts the book in it, and is about to leave, but stops when she hears something. Turning toward what appears to be an ordinary part of the ship’s hull, she reaches out to make it invisible. We don’t see what’s inside, but she gasps as we…

CUT to the jungle, where Doom pumps the pirate for more information. But, exhausted from his exertions and nearly dead from exposure, he instead collapses into Doom’s arms. Doom lowers him to the ground and, holding him in a soothing manner, calmly snaps the pirate’s neck.

CUT back to Sue as she exits the ship, carrying the knapsack, but nothing else. She seems pensive, but none the worse for wear. Reed’s arriving on the beach at the same time, and, brandishing the bag, Sue tells him that she thinks she’s found what they need to clear Ben. Doom, however, is nowhere to be found.

CUT to Doom, emerging from the Time Platform back in his Time Lab in the present. Stepping calmly to a computer console, he begins reviewing records of previous time jaunts, revealing that he was the one who killed the Inhuman crew! He was positive, in fact, that he’d gotten them all. But his review of the tapes reveals something he’d missed in the heat of the battle: a scaly orange hand pulling one cowering pirate overboard, and away from Doom’s wrath.

“Grimm,” he says. “Obviously more resourceful than I gave him credit for.”

He pauses, thinking. Weighing his options. Then he goes over to the Time Platform control panel, and cuts the tether to Reed and Sue.

CUT to the two of them on the beach, at the exact moment we last saw them. Suddenly, they’re ripped out of spacetime, screaming in a psychedelic void.

TO BE CONTINUED!!

FIVE: MADNESS

A Few Words on Inhuman Justice: In a society that regularly spawns psychics and empaths, it strikes me that trials would work a bit differently. The truth of any testimony could be determined on the spot. But because memory is faulty, truth is relative. Two different people can testify to the same events, tell different stories, and both be truthful according to how they remember things happening. So the Inhumans depend on something I’m calling “Psychic Forensics.” A jury of psychic sensitives listens to testimony from as large a pool of witnesses as possible, and collates all the various stories into one narrative that’s then accepted as truth. Hard evidence trumps this, of course, and the arguments of the prosecution and defense can help shape these narratives, as well. But in a case like Ben’s, where there is no hard evidence due to the great length of time that’s passed, testimonial truth is enough to convict.

That would seem to make this a simple matter, then. Both Ben and Johnny were there when Reed forcibly removed Ben from the Inhuman ship, when the crew was still very much alive. But things are more complicated than they appear…

(Storytelling Note: We get varying degrees of detail on all testimony, seeing it filtered through the lens of the psychic jury. This allows for some trippy visuals (always a good thing), but also for us to avoid going into too much detail about things the reader already knows. So it’s conveyed through snippets of dialogue, flashback, and warped, hazy remembrances shaded by each speaker’s own perspective.)

The trial begins at dawn. Black Bolt serves as judge, with Medusa as prosecutor, and Crystal on defense. Karnak sits at the head of the jury, vigilant for flaws in their understanding of events. The prosecution goes first, establishing their case against the accused, leaving the defense to argue against once the case has been laid out.

Medusa opens by calling Ben and Johnny to the stand. They testify to their leaving the ship, and are found to be telling the truth. But Medusa seems unperturbed, and presses on to establish Ben’s history of violence, arguing that he is not always in his right mind, or in complete control of his own actions.

Petunia fills in some childhood background on Ben. She raised him from around age 10, when his parents were killed in a car accident. Young Ben struggled with depression and anger throughout his adolescence, constantly getting into fights and becoming increasingly aggressive before finally finding an outlet for it in football. Johnny and Bob Baxter pick up the narrative with the Breach Craft team, and Ben’s history as The Thing, with Medusa emphasizing his erratic behavior throughout.

She finishes this line of questioning with Ben’s most recent rampage, when he was (unknown to anyone) under the control of the Puppet Master. Ben himself testifies to that incident, and his memory of it is fractured and hazy. He remembers only parts of it, and in those memories he’s like a spectator to his own actions, watching impassively while his body does things of its own accord.

We give special focus to Karnak during this testimony. Something is troubling him, but he’s not quite sure what. Everyone else, though, is shaken. The team’s been buffeted from adventure to adventure so much since this last rampage that none of them have taken time to really think about it. But when it’s laid out like this… There’s clearly something wrong with him. Even Ben himself starts to wonder if he’s too unstable to be allowed to roam free.

Her argument having been rather convincingly made, Medusa then closes the first day of the trial by lowering the boom: her ally Victor Von Doom (who, like Reed and Sue, is unavailable for testimony) has given her Time Drone video footage, which she shows to the court. It mirrors that of the footage we saw at the end of last issue, with the Inhuman ship in the midst of a terrible storm. But instead of Doom slaughtering the crew, it’s Ben!

This, Medusa argues, is incontrovertible proof. Not that Ben killed their scouts during the Thingbeard Incident, but that he WILL do so, in some future time jaunt rampage that’s yet to happen. The question before the court, then, is not one of guilt or innocence. It’s whether they will execute him for crimes he has yet to commit, or prevent him from committing them in the first place, by simply imprisoning him in Attilan… forever!

SIX: REVELATIONS

We pick up the night after Medusa’s devastating prosecution argument. The first day of the trial has ended with things not looking good for Ben. Alicia tries to comfort him, but he’s fallen into despair. He no longer trusts his own sanity, and tells her to leave. “I might hurt ya, baby, and not even know it. So scram. Get outta here. Go back to New York and forget you ever knew me.” But she’s not having any of it. She knew the risk when she started dating him, and honestly kind of likes it. “So you don’t get to push me away, you big orange bastard. Not over this.”

CUT to Crystal’s chambers. Medusa comes for a visit, and they have it out over Crystal’s abandonment of her duty to Attilan (and Triton) over what Medusa calls “lust for a pretty young human boy.” Crystal bristles at that (visual note: her elemental powers flare up around her dramatically when she gets mad), but ultimately Medusa’s concern is well-intended. She doesn’t want to see her sister become an outcast because of a youthful indiscretion. They part on better terms, but Crystal is left confused and upset. She doesn’t want to marry Triton, but should she really throw her lot in with a bunch of outsiders because of that? She worries about her sympathies in her upcoming defense, as we…

CUT to Karnak, deep in meditation once again, replaying Ben’s testimony in his head with the aid of an elderly Inhuman named RANDAC the ORACLE, an experienced and highly-skilled psychic. Karnak doesn’t believe that Ben was lying, but he noticed something, and its exact nature escaped him. But now, with Randac’s aid, he spots it: a flash of something, just as Ben is talking about blacking out in advance of his last rampage.

Visual note: the “flash” could be expressed as a very narrow panel, showing a sliver of whatever it is he gets the impression of, but not enough to identify it. They continue working to uncover it, through the night and all the way until…

DAWN! Though Karnak has sent word that he is unable to serve with the jury, the trial continues, and Crystal begins her defense. She starts by casting doubt on Doom’s video. Johnny testifies to the bad intelligence Doom gave Namor (which caused Namor’s ill-advised attack on Latveria), and Baxter reveals Doom’s threat to “deal with” the FF if he ever deemed them too dangerous to live. “Without this man here to submit to questioning, the truth of his work can’t be confirmed! So can we really condemn Benjamin Grimm to death for a crime that even the prosecution admits he has not yet committed?”

CUT to Karnak, zeroing in, the narrow flash panel getting wider… wider… but still not wide enough.

BACK to the courtroom! Crystal cites Ben’s many acts of heroism, and explains the torment his transformation has caused him (something the Inhumans, whose entire culture is built around such transformations, don’t really understand at all). Johnny and Bob Baxter act as character witnesses, guided now to discuss Ben’s positive qualities. They admit to Ben’s instability, but stress the great good he’s done, and can still do. This terrible future – if that video does, indeed, show the future – can still be averted with the support of friends and advisors, and a woman who loves him.

That’s Alicia’s cue to take the stand, and she gives eloquent testimony to Ben’s heroic soul. Even Medusa seems moved by it. In the background, we see an Inhuman court official conducting a genetic scan on her (as he’s done for every other witness), looking first puzzled, and eventually alarmed. Just as she finishes her speech, the Gene Lord leaps to his feet, and makes a shocking proclamation: “THIS WOMAN IS A SKRULL!”

CUT to Karnak. Finally, something clicks, and the flash panel stands fully revealed: it’s Alicia’s first statue of Ben!

BACK to the courtroom! Alicia tells her story. Sent to Earth as a far advance scout decades ago, Phillip Masters (the Puppet Master) settled, married a human woman, and gave birth to a daughter: Alicia herself. Her parents kept her father’s true nature from her until she hit puberty, when her Skrull genes began to manifest. Full shape-shifting isn’t possible for her, but she can slightly alter her form by shifting mass from one part of her body to another. It’s useful for retrieving things she’s dropped into tight spaces (and for her love life with Ben), but otherwise it’s not something she even thinks about very much. As far as she’s concerned, she’s human.

She knows nothing of the Skrull beyond that. As far as she knows, her father severed ties with his people after she was born, and hasn’t worked for them since. She doesn’t know the details, but he’s told her not to worry. His loyalty lies with her, and her loyalty lies with Earth. The jury verifies the truth of her statements, but the revelation still unsettles the courtroom. Alicia looks plaintively at Ben, but his expression is impossible to read.

Black Bolt signals for a recess, but before court can adjourn, there’s a flash of energy as a portal opens in the center of the room. Out of it step an elderly Reed Richards and Susan Storm, dressed in primitive tribal garb, and seeming to have aged 40 years since their departure. With them is a strange young woman, tall and thin, with pale green skin and bulbous black eyes. Reed is holding a device that looks like a modified version of one of Doom’s Time Platform remotes. He turns a dial on it, then looks around and smiles. “We made it, Sue! We finally made it!”

The portal collapses behind them, and Sue steps forward, holding the knapsack she collected from the Inhuman pirate ship. “Lord Black Bolt. We apologize for our tardiness. There were… difficulties on the road. But we have important information for the court!”

TO BE CONTINUED!!

And that, believe it or not, concludes The Trial of the Thing. Yes, there are still issues to be resolved. But the story goes somewhere else for a while first, so that’s what we’ll deal with next time. For now, though, all we’re left with are…

ARC FOURTEEN NOTES

The long break between posts masks this somewhat, but I’m slightly concerned that I may be giving the audience “adventure fatigue.” I very much wanted to emulate the great Steve Ditko Dr. Strange run through this part of the Re-Mix, with its string of endless cliffhangers, new creations, and excitement. But readers eventually need an ending, and we’re now roughly 26 issues into never-ending adventure. Seriously. We’ve gone from the introduction of the Frightful Four (6 issues) to the introduction of the Inhumans (6 issues) to Fin Fang Foom (8 issues) to the trial (6 issues), with each arc rolling right into the next, and the only true resolution being the defeat of Foom.

Even I’m getting tired at this point, which may be an additional reason I stalled out on the series last year. So I think it may be time to wrap things up a bit. I still have a good bit of story left to tell before I’m done with my ideas for the Re-Mix, but it might be wise to have some clear beginning-middle-and-end arcs before we launch off into the grand finale.

(An aside: I just went back and did a rough issue count for the Re-Mix to date. This arc takes us up to issue 82! Insanity! I had originally thought this might take around 100 issues total, but I’ve got enough for another 50, easy. More, if I explore a few half-formed side concepts along the way. Hmm. Maybe I should go for 200 instead. Hmm…)

One last thing: In re-reading the previous installments of this series, I became acutely aware that I haven’t focused enough on Sue. I have to keep reminding myself that she’s our narrator, so we’re getting her perspective on everything as we go. But I had this idea at the outset that she would become more self-confident as time went on, and that her powers would grow accordingly. But she doesn’t even have her force fields yet! So I need to give her some attention. And soon.

But speaking of the future…

In Our Next Exciting Episode: Adventures in Time and Introspection! Past Peace and Future War! Politics! Wakanda! Plus… INFINITE THINGBEARD!

Fantastic Four Re-Mix, Part Seven: The Trial of the Thing! So it's been a while since we did any Fantastic Four Re-Mix. A full year, in fact.

#comic books #Crystal #Dr Doom #fan fiction #Fantastic Four #Fantastic Four Remix #Inhumans #Lord Plunder #Namor #The Thing #Thingbeard

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