#This staging was just me living my dreams

[melminli]

Love To Dream

summary - there was this one girl that thanos really wanted, though, she didn't really want to have anything to do with him. unfortunately, that made him want her even more.

pairing: (thanos) choi su-bong x fem. reader

word count: 1.5k

contains: modern au, mention of drugs, enemies to lovers vibes ig, crack, yearning

a/n: i don't even know what this is tbh but I felt like we all deserved some laughs ;)

Life was good - life was really fucking good, Thanos thought to himself as he winked charmingly at a group of hot girls. They had been looking in his direction for a while now while giggling, clearly interested in him. He continued to watch them as he sipped his drink, the club music pumping through his veins like adrenaline. Thanos's eyes darkened as the girls continued to cast lustful glances in his direction - he knew he could easily get more than one of them into bed tonight and why wouldn't he? It hadn't been long since his last performance on stage, reminding everyone present once again of his legendary status in this club.

However, his attention was focused somewhere entirely else after the most breathtaking person ever decided to walk past him. The pick-up lines he had been thinking of for the group, vanished from his mind after this angel showed up in front of him since the other girls could barely compare. The whole thing looked like something out of a scene from a Kdrama because time seemed to pass in slow motion and your hair was swinging in the air like that of a princess - which would have been the perfect time for some product placement because it just looked so damn soft.

Thanos had his mouth wide open in shock and put a hand over his heart to check if it was still beating while his eyes never left your figure. You - who was leaning prettily against the bar right next to him as you ordered something from the bartender.

“Hey.” he finally recovered from the moment and casually moved towards you. “I'd introduce myself, but I assume you already know me.” he talked to you with his flirty face as soon as you looked up at him.

You smiled shyly. “Yeah, I watched your performance,” you answered him and seemed quite grateful that he was speaking to you right now. “You were pretty good.” you giggled slightly as you complimented him.

“Yeah, that's just how I am.” he sighed as he looked around the room as if it was a burden for him to have to live with all the recognition. His eyes met yours again and he tried to impress you by unpacking a few bars while emphasizing them with the movements of his hands. “Girl, I know you and I are meant to be because after I looked at your pretty face everything stopped being. If only you saw what I can see, you'll understand why I want you so desperately.” he rapped to you, stealing the last line from some One Direction song, but you didn't need to know that.

You shyly put your hands in front of your face to hide your smile. “Oh my god, that was so incredibly sexy, I'm so horny for you right now.” the words came out of your mouth and made Thanos screw up his face weirdly for a second.

Because first of all, those vulgar words didn't match your innocent demeanor in the slightest - and secondly, you said exactly what Thanos had imagined you would say - it was actually a bit creepy since you literally said it word for word. Thanos hardly thought that he could foresee the future all of a sudden or that you could maybe read minds, though he decided to ignore the whole thing as soon as you started touching his chest softly with your hands. He wanted you so bad.

“You don't even know what you're doing to me right now,” he whispered to you while you felt him so sensually and he was about to kiss you, hadn't you stopped his lips with your hand as you laughed into his face. “I think you should wake up now. Otherwise, the pink elephant will keep handing out balloons to people.” You told him, pointing behind him to where the bar was supposed to be.

“Hah?” he asked you confused and turned around while continuing to hold you in his arms, but all he saw were a few dogs breakdancing - and that was nothing out of the ordinary. He continued to look at the scene with a grin, even though some inner voice inside him was stressing out about kissing you immediately as if he was running out of time. He finally turned back to you and was about to continue when he suddenly heard a man speak. “You really should wake up man.” Nam-gyu's voice told him and Thanos only caught himself almost kissing him after he took a closer look. He just pushed him away from him in disgust and then -

Thanos woke up from his sleep, bathed in sweat, when he saw your face in his field of vision. “Finally, you're sleeping like a dead man. There's some guy at the door who wants to talk to you,” you told him as he sat up tiredly while slowly recovering from his strange dream.

That's right. You weren't just some hot girl he met at the club, you were his fucking roommate. Thanos discreetly pushed more blanket over his lap as he tried to shoo you away from his room with a wave of his hand. “Yeah, yeah - I'll be right there, just - give me a moment,” he said without looking you in the face.

You just sighed slightly and complied with his request, though not without letting him know how unhappy you were. “I told you to stop giving our address to these dealers. I don't like it when they show up here,” you grumbled under your breath before dashing out and closing the door behind you.

After that, Thanos let out a very heavy sigh and stroked his face aggressively. “Now she's showing up in my dreams, too? Fucking great.” he grumbled to himself and got up from the bed to put on some decent clothes. His eyes met his own reflection as he pulled a shirt over his head. “Get a grip man, what's wrong with you?” he asked himself as he grimaced in annoyance. “You're Thanos the destroyer, not some kind of -”

“Stop taking so long and come here already!” your voice suddenly shouted, coming through his door slightly muffled.

He looked even more annoyed at that and made his way to the living room while shouting back at you. “I'm fucking on it, alright!” and it only took a few loud steps from him to your front door for him to yank it open to fix the damn problem. He looked at his friend, completely bothered by his presence. “What do you want?” he asked him and was kinda glad that it at least wasn't Nam-gyu because he just really didn't want to see his face at the moment and probably for a little while.

“Hello, to you, too.” the man in front of him greeted him, already used to his weird mood swings. “I just wanted to do you a favor by bringing you some of the pills you wanted because last time you almost beat me up when I didn't have them with me,” he explained, holding the bag, which Thanos grabbed instantly before inspecting it more closely. “Don't act like you didn't deserve it, I paid you the money in advance, man. Of course, I was angry,” he complained again and would probably have beaten him up for real right now if he had ruined his morning over something completely unnecessary. However, he would still have to make sure that something like this didn't happen again so that you didn't have another reason to kick him out of the apartment.

“You know, maybe this was meant to be. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been greeted by an absolute hottie today,” he said happily as he stood there, still interested. “Is she your cousin or something? Do you want to introduce me to her?” he asked and was quite confident in the way he acted, but Thanos just looked at him emotionlessly for a few seconds until he slammed the door in his face.

"Okay, he's gone now!" he exclaimed, bored, and made his way into the kitchen, where you were sitting with a cup of coffee or something while scrolling on your phone. "Don't open the door for that guy if he shows up again," he said, grabbing a cold Sprite from the fridge. You just looked at him with a displeased look. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'll make sure that he and no one else shows up after today. But, I'm just saying that in case it still somehow happens."

Thanos then opened the can and drank from it while he continued to watch your face from the side. Eventually, he sat down next to you, although, to his dissatisfaction, that didn't seem to get your attention. "Hey, you want to go on a date?" He asked, and you weren't sure how many times he asked you that by now. You kept scrolling on Instagram. "You know my answer to that."

Thanos continued to grin hopefully. "Yes?" he asked and then watched you disappear out of the kitchen with your cup of coffee in your hand - probably to your room. "You should be glad that I'm even asking you! Other girls would die for..." he muffled towards the end before he stopped talking entirely once he realized that you weren't giving him a reaction.

Maybe, I should just go back to sleep, he thought to himself dejectedly, unable to believe that he had a better chance with you in dreams with pink elephants and breakdancing dogs than here.

[poeticblissme]

I will be as honest as possible when I answer this because I truly know and understand your struggle, and I want to be as transparent with my thoughts and feelings on this to properly try my best to help you see a different perspective so bare with me it may be a bit wordy.

I have spent a good amount of my life wishing I could do things in the entertainment industry. I have memorized countless movies since I was 8, even before that really. My whole heart is into doing things like acting, it’s been a Dream of mine to be on movies and stages. However, it has been countless dead ends for me. I would fall off because I felt like it was never going anywhere, that and I am constantly stuck doing jobs and things I absolutely detest, knowing where my heart is at. But I also felt unworthy, I felt like there are others who are clearly better than me, that I had no real space to even try it because of everything else never worked out for me? Why would something I actually enjoy and want to do for the rest of my life work out.

Over the years, I feel into deep stages of sadness and bitterness because I saw others succeed, I have seen people who have done less receive more and I had a fear that if I try, it was just bound to fail. My family have talents, and the one I love I don’t even feel I’m fully good at because I’ve seen how others do so much better. I can’t do much, I don’t and can’t do what I see everyone else can. I looked at myself as ordinary and unimportant. So I stopped trying. I stopped looking. I wanted to give up entirely because feeling empty was better than facing this crippling mindset that made it hard to breathe.

However, around 2020, when the pandemic came around, I got more into spirituality. And through those months of me finding myself again, I started taken small intricate steps to try and change this mindset. It was so hard, the amount of self accountability I had to learn for what I love and what I let my mind control in terms of outward action was difficult, but I can tell you what I have learned and I hope this gives you a piece of hope or motivation to take these steps even with your fear.

As a human being, it is natural to be afraid to do something you feel in your heart is good for you. Be it a passion, a relationship, or anything that forces you to step out of your comfort zone to do something you never imaged for yourself before. You will not know what you are doing sometimes but that is apart of the journey, you don’t know what your doing until you have done it enough times that you finally do know what to do and integrate that into your life slowly but surely. The point is to put in the effort anyway because you have that feeling that it is something that will make you happy. Trying is the reassurance to your soul.

The feeling of being stuck is your survival and comfort mindset trying to keep you where you think you are safe. If this is something you feel you want to pursue, then you have to force yourself to propel yourself forward, you have to work with that fear, make mistakes, ask the questions, do the research, experience the experience of the unknown fully, otherwise you will live with the regret of what could have been.

I have done so much since I started this little journey of mine. I have done things I never imaged myself doing, and now I am in a place where I do still yearn for more, but I am also in a state of gratitude because I have gone so much father than I thought I would when I had stopped trying completely. I am not fully in the place I want to be, but the places I have been are motivation for me to keep trying because I know that it is indeed possible somehow someway. The things I didn’t know, now I do. The things I still don’t know scare me, but I am doing my best to open to the unknown and let it make me better and stronger so that when (Yes not if, when) the next pieces of my dream come to me, I will be even more ready than I was the day before.

All of this to say, Please. Please chase that dream of publishing your book. Even if you feel afraid, take your hand and slowly guide your feet toward the shore line. Dip your toes in slowly and learn how the water feels, step on a shell every now and again, take the pain and confusion and learn from it so when you step on it again it does not hurt as much, and then you will learn how to avoid the shell completely. Before you know it, you will have completely submerged yourself in the waters you were afraid to go into, and your life will fill that much more full because you took those steps you were once afraid to take. 🤍🖤

I’m gonna confess something here, gonna get real raw with it.

But I think, no I know, I am terrified of trying.

I so desperately want to publish a novel, multiple even. I have them in the bag. But I am so scared of moving forward even an inch.

I have been writing since I was ten, I have been doing these monster stories since 2017.

And I have gone nowhere.

I am so frightened of the next steps. I believe if I don’t know what I’m doing I can’t do anything.

I’ve been working this out in therapy but like…I do feel stuck. I’ve imbedded myself so much here and in comfort I don’t know what to do.

What do I do? How do I publish? Who do I ask?

Is it me? Do I have to do this now?

I wanted to say this, in hopes putting it out there I can pull myself out of the complacent pit I’ve made and move along. But yeah, I’m terrified and I really have no clue what to do. Everyone else who is publishing seems so far ahead and they know everything. But, maybe that’s also an excuse for myself I need to face.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 106)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57014356/chapters/158623843

N helped Uzi follow her parents back into their apartment. V being dragged away by Lizzy despite the fact she'd didn't quite look like she wanted to leave just yet.

With Uzi riding on his back and both of his kids tucked into his arms, Bishop asleep and Tera… glaring daggers at Nori like she owed her money.

Khan was taking in the moment, constantly looking over at his wife like he was expected her to poof into dust or for him to wake up from a fever dream.

When he opened the door and let her inside, she stood in the middle of the living room, eyes scanning the apartment before she turned to face them.

“You put all my stuff away.” She observed, her expression nearly unreadable.

“I… you were gone so long…” Khan wilted slightly under her gaze, shuffling his feet.

She laughed, it sounded almost ethereal.

“It's just an observation Khan. Where'd ya put it when you thought I'd kicked it?” She smiled, Khan smiled back, almost love-struck.

He pointed his thumb to the closet door, labeled Nori's Kooky Insane Stuff.

She huffed in amusement. “I made that sign for a specific box, not all my stuff!” Khan smiled sheepishly, shrugging as if saying “I don't know, I thought I'd fit.”

N watched the exchange with a small smile, Uzi watching from his back in a mixture of awe and cringe from watching her parents be all awkward around each other.

Bishop squirmed in Ns arms, making a soft little babble up at him as he squinted his eyes, it got N's attention immediately and he hummed affectionately, bringing him up closer to his visor.

“Hey B, what is it you want buddy?”

Khan blinked from his awkward conversation, turning to look at N, who was placing Uzi on the couch gently.

“Need anything sweet bat?” He asked her, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek, which she leaned into without thinking

“Oil? I lost… a lot, and some cold sounds freaking amazing right now.” She replied, taking Bishop into her arms while N carried Tera on his shoulder.

“On it.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead before moving off into her old room to find some.

She'd left some here just in case… good thing too, because he was getting low too.

Khan made his way up to Uzi, shuffling his hands together like he was nervous. Uzi rolled her eyes.

“His name is Bishop, Dad. And yes, you can hold him.” She held up the newborn, setting him in his grandfather's arms, he tensed for a moment before relaxing.

“Look at that… he's got white eyelights! Like me!” Khan grinned, brushing some silvery hair out of the little one's visor. “And skipped the pillbaby stage… ehehe.”

Bishop squinted up at him, bringing his tail up to chew on the vial.

“No stinger either…”

“Thankfully. Nanites in your internals don't feel very good… speaking from experience.” Nori commented, making Khan and Uzi look at her with hollowed eyelights.

“What?” Nori replied dumbly.

“Just as blunt as always…” Khan chuckled to himself before Nori came around to his side to look at Bishop too.

She cocked her head, examining him very closely. “Wonder why he didn't get yellow eyes, don't all murder drones have those?”

“He's not just a dissasembly drone though, he's got worker drone too.” Khan hummed, “Maybe he got it from me!” He grinned proudly.

Uzi thought more that Bishop got it from N's worker form. But she let her dad have his moment.

“Hmm.” Nori made a thinking noise, before shaking it off. “Suppose that makes sense.”

“NO!” Tera's indignant shout came from the bedroom, dripping with as much attitude a toddler could possibly have.

“Jellybean… what's the matter?”

“NO!”

N came out of her old bedroom with three oil cans, in one arm, and Tera's kicking, yelling form in the other, she seemed like she didn't want to come back out of Uzi's old bedroom.

“Here…” He handed a can to Nori and Uzi. “I'm not sure what's up with her… she's not usually like this.” He tried to hold Tera in a better position, but she suddenly bit his hand- hard.

“OW! Tera! What has gotten into you!?” He yelped as Tera scurried across the floor back into Uzi's old bedroom with feral hissing all the way.

He sighed. “Maybe she's upset at not being an only child anymore?” N offered, and Nori seemed to agree with him.

“Just a little mad she has to share Mama and Dada's attention now, I think.” She laughed again, covering her mouth as she did.

“It's… a little weird to have a Mu- ahem, a dissasembly drone as a grandson and… son in law.” She admitted, N rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Y-yeah uh…”

Khan jumped when Bishop starts wailing, throwing his balled up little fists around. “Ah… I think someone's hungry.”

He handed him off to Uzi, who chuckled lightly. “He's gonna be oil hungry like his Dad…”

She's laughing, cause otherwise she'd cry, she was gonna go through so much oil…

She filled a bottle N handed to her, and Bishop took it greedily, little fangs digging into the rubber tips as he suckled on it. He quieted as soon as the oil touched his lips, eyelights closing.

“There we go…”

“Your room is still set up to sleep in, I'm sure you're both tired… your mother and I have… a lot to talk about, regardless.” Khan glanced over at Nori, who blushed breifly. “B-bite me Khan!”

“Uh huh… talk.” Uzi hummed with a knowing look, causing Khan to flush himself.

“YES. Talk!” He clarified, raising his finger as his daughter chuckled, nodding as they both walked off towards Khan’s bedroom

N and Uzi both looked at each other, stress on all their features, before N reached down and picks her up, embracing her tightly. “It feels like today has lasted a month…” He admitted, speaking almost directly in her audial.

“Yeah…” Uzi agreed. “Mom's back and… Bishop, Tera.” She chuckled exhausted. “Kinda feels like a fever dream.”

“It's all good things though! Maybe all our bad luck was cashed in for good luck!” N smiled, giggling as he nuzzled Uzi's visor.

“I don’t think that's how luck works… but maybe.” She laughed eyelights dimming a little as a low power warning flickered on her visor.

“Hm, Bedtime then…”

“Carry me?” Uzi suggested, blushing slightly as Bishop curled up in her arms, listening to the core he was nestled inside of for months.

N laughed and kissed her on the forehead. “Course…”

He scooped her up and walked them to the bedroom, placing her on the bed and looking around for a certain squirmy kit.

Tera popped her head out of the pillowcase, to look at her parents, though N hadn't seen her yet, she looked guilty, crawling out to place her head over the hand she'd bitten.

“There she is! You wanna tell me why you're being so bitey?” N hummed, not so much angry about the bite itself, more worried about how out of character it was for her.

She licked the already healed wound. “Sowwry Papa…”

He picks her up “It's not okay to bite, but I'm not mad at you, you won't be in trouble if you tell me why.”

Little Tera furrowed her brow. “Don't feel good…”

N held her a little closer. “You don't feel good? Where?”

“Tummy…” She replied, almost dead quiet. “Lady makes it feel bad.” She finished.

“Lady? You mean Nori? That's just your grandma… why would she make your tummy feel bad?”

Tera shrugged, and made a face N is very familiar with-

“Nonono! Not on the bed!”

“Blegh!” She spilled her guts out. Thankfully out onto the floor and not on the bed, N having moved her in time.

“Aww… poor baby…” He hummed after it's over. When he turned Tera back around though, she still didn't look like she felt better, she was sweating, too warm, and oil still leaking out of her mouth.

She whimpered, holding onto him as she starts to tremble…

“Tera?”

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Romantic Ending Ch. 25 His Side Story

Chapter 25

Thank you @shatcey for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

I had a bad feeling about this.

Kamal: Hey, shouldn't you tell Miss Emma the truth?

Kamal: If she knew you were alive, I think she'd be happy.

Azel: Even if that's true, absolutely don't tell her.

Kamal: Why?

Azel: ...Just because.

Kamal: That's not a reason. You're the one who wants to see her so badly.

Azel: Would you please not fabricate people's feelings?

(A dead god can't freely walk around outside.)

(...What am I going to do, tying down that woman who's continuing her journey as a book merchant?)

(In the first place, I don't want to see her, nor do I want her to be by my side.)

(When I let my guard down, I do remember her, but that's all.)

(Even for me, that woman will eventually become a dream.)

Kamal: I'm not fabricating anything. Because, Azel, you're clearly depressed.

Azel: Huh?

Kamal: You're absent-minded. You might as well admit it.

Kamal: That you've fallen in love with her.

Azel: Don't say such disgusting things, that's absolutely not true.

(Everyone's saying whatever they want.)

(There's no such thing.)

-

(...There isn't, but...)

The regular meeting of the triple alliance was held in secret.

The complacency that no outsider would come led to this current tragedy.

Emma: You definitely love me, Prince Azel.

The woman, whom I thought I would never see again, said it shamelessly and boldly.

Azel: ...........................

Emma: It's no use sulking.

Azel: I'm not.

Azel: No matter what you say, I don't love you.

Azel: ...Go back. Pretend you didn't see me.

Azel: I'll strangle Kamal when I get back. I told him at least a thousand times not to tell you.

Emma: Unfortunately, I can't just obediently go back.

(Go back...)

(...Please.)

Even though I denied it with my words, my heart was strangely restless.

The longer this conversation dragged on, the more likely I was to reach out to her.

Whether aware of my inner struggle or not, the woman casually took off her bag and took out paper, a quill, and ink from it.

(What is she doing?)

I peered at her hand, and a bad feeling swelled up as I saw the letters being written.

Azel: ...An invoice?

Emma: Yes. First, the expenses for Kamal's request... and the mental anguish I suffered...

(What do you mean, "expenses for Kamal's request"? I haven't heard anything about this...)

Emma: The reward for the success of that day's plan, plus compensation for various damages...

Azel: What are these "various damages"?

Emma: ...K-Kisses, hugs, and all that stuff!

Azel: Huh?

Emma: Subtracting my debt from this and calculating...

Emma: I think it comes to about this much!

The invoice thrust in front of me listed a theoretically impossible amount to repay, filled with zeros.

Azel: You... can you even read these digits?

Emma: No, I can't.

Azel: Don't say it so proudly.

Emma: But I won't let you say you can't pay.

Emma: ...My heart is expensive.

Azel: ......

I could sense her desperation, as if she was about to cry.

Perhaps the woman was just imitating the god who once bound her with debt.

(...Something worth a fortune...)

(If you put a price on it, maybe this is indeed the theoretical value.)

Azel: ...A dead god can't appear on the public stage again.

Azel: Unlike you, I'll be living in the shadows from now on.

(What is she talking about?)

(I should just throw the invoice back at her, saying it's ridiculous...)

(...This makes it seem like I'm the one clinging to her.)

(Even though that's not my intention.)

Emma: Then all the more reason why it's worth paying me.

Azel: Specifically?

Emma: I'll run a lot of errands in place of Prince Azel, who can't move freely.

Azel: That's fine, there are other people.

Emma: I'll even make delicious food.

Azel: ...I won't have any trouble with food even without you.

Emma: More than anything...

Emma: I'll teach you what true love is.

Emma: I'll correct your distorted perception of love and make you say, "My life was happy"!

Azel: .....

Azel: ...............

Azel: ..........................

(Damn it...)

(...You understand why I'm pushing you away, don't you?)

(Love is a curse.)

(It's something that makes people unhappy.)

(I've never seen proper love.)

(...Certainly, this "true love" you're talking about is different from what I know...)

(...Maybe I'm just ignorant...)

The woman—Emma is waiting for an answer.

Her gaze was so sincere and genuine that it took my breath away.

She seems to truly believe that she can teach me about "true love," and my heart wavers with an unfamiliar curiosity.

(...I don't like you... I shouldn't...)

Against my will, my hand snatched the invoice.

Azel: ...I'm just reluctantly accepting you to repay my debt.

Azel: Don't misunderstand.

(I've done it now.)

Regret immediately washed over me, but Emma's satisfied smile blew it all away.

Azel: Oh dear... With this much debt, I'll be broke for life.

Emma: Poor you.

Emma: Ow... ow!

Azel: ––...Don't run away until I've paid it all off.

(It's fine. I'll get over it.)

(...I know it's unreasonable.)

Emma: Do you know what that's called in the world?

Emma: It's called "adorable."

Azel: .............

Azel: ...I know that much.

(I don't want to admit it...)

(Even now, I honestly wish this was all a mistake...)

Against my will, I embraced her.

Azel: I've been cursed. By you, of all people...

Azel: I hate emotions that can't be explained with logic.

Azel: But I love you. Damn it...

-

I remember a dream I once had.

Azel: As for me, I'd rather not have anything to do with love.

Azel: ––Because I'm a god who doesn't love people.

(How did it come to this?)

Emma's dream, which I occasionally wander into, had undergone a noticeable change.

The immature space that only had buds was now surrounded by a multitude of roses, and the night sky had transformed into a clear blue one.

The sweet scent of roses tickled my nose, and I couldn't help but frown.

(...Dreams are a mirror that reflects a person's heart...)

Emma: Burn this into your eyes.

Emma: Because this entire space is probably my heart, which loves Prince Azel so much that it can't help itself.

Azel: ...Please stop.

Emma: And look at this.

Emma grabbed my arm and dragged me to the oak table.

There wasn't an unfinished book there, but a rose encased in a glass dome.

The fresh rose was partially crystallized, sparkling in the sunlight.

Emma: It's the most beautiful rose in the dream world.

Azel: ...Is that so?

Emma: I wonder what it means.

Azel: Don't ask me. This is your dream.

(...There's no need to guess anymore.)

Emma: This must also be my love.

Azel: ......

Emma: Don't I love Prince Azel too much?

Azel: Don't say it yourself.

(I never thought I'd experience such torture in someone else's dream.)

In this unbearably sweet space, Emma was smiling the whole time.

I couldn't take my eyes off her face for some reason.

(No... I know the reason why.)

(Once you're cursed, it's no use, it's too late.)

(...She's so adorable.)

(...)

Azel: ...Ah.

Suddenly, I noticed my face reflected in the glass dome.

It was a horrifying face, the likes of which I had never seen before in my life.

(Who is that... Is that me?)

(...What a nightmare.)

When I looked down, Emma, who had been looking at the rose all this time, was trembling.

Emma: It's alright, I already noticed.

Azel: ...What's alright about it, damn it.

(It's no use denying it with words anymore.)

Azel: ...Sigh.

Emma: Why are you sighing?

Azel: I'm just disgusted with myself.

(I'm getting tired of desperately denying it.)

(This is a dream... I can admit it a little in a dream.)

(...You're not the only one who loves too much...)

(...What's worth a fortune to me is right here...)

Azel: When and where did I go wrong? I wasn't supposed to love you, not one bit...

I couldn't help but look up at the clear sky.

The soft light pouring down from the moonless sky was pleasant.

Azel: I strayed from the path, this is the worst.

Azel: ...The fact that I don't hate it, that's the worst part.

.

.

.

Romantic Ending Epilogue

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[wildeoscars]

Excerpts from 20 Questions: Eric Bogosian

Playboy, July 1991

The raging monologist who gave us “talk radio” raps about street life, horny guys and the redemptive joys of gardening.

Playboy: Your characters plead, cajole, threaten, offer skewed insights, and exhibit paranoia. Is your stage act a cry for help?

Bogosian: I need to solve my own personal problems. I know nowhere to look other than to myself, so I look at my own questionable traits. And then I personify them in a character. Early in my career, I spent a lot of time on things that had to do with sex, because I wanted to have better relationships with women. FunHouse was about pure, unadulterated fear, because at that point, I was just freaked out. My wife, Joann, and I were impoverished; we lived in this tiny apartment. Drinking in America, written when I became more successful, was about a hunger for power and success. Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll asks, How do you live when all you know how to do is party?

Playboy: You honed your performance style in New York’s downtown art scene. Was it easier and cheaper than enrolling in drama school?

Bogosian: The downtown scene allowed me to walk out on stage every night and say and do whatever I wanted. I would go out and insult the shit out of the audience. There were nights when I took all my clothes off. I had fights with the audience. The best thing about the scene was that we were making our work and having a good time entertaining one another. I would perform in front of audiences that were guaranteed smart and hip. They didn’t care whether or not I was doing something right, like some acting teacher had taught me. They would tell me whether or not they got it. I was performing loud, nasty, insulting stuff.

Playboy: Does The Stud, your monolog about one man’s extraordinary endowment, reflect your own desire for a larger penis?

Bogosian: I was taking a pee one day and I looked down and wished I had an eight-inch dick. You’re going to quote me on that. Don’t quote me on that. It’s part of men’s fascination with themselves. I wanted to take something out of the back room of male mentality and stick it right out in front of everybody. The Stud is one of my oldest pieces. Doing things about giant dicks is not that far out at the moment. There are probably twenty comics out there doing dick things. But when I started ten years ago, it was extremely embarrassing for men in the audience; they’d sit there with their hands folded over their crotches, not laughing, and the women would be laughing their guts out and the men would be getting angry. I thought it was great stuff going on between people in the theater.

Playboy: Horny guys populate your monologs. Do you claim special knowledge of America’s testosterone level?

Bogosian: I’m very average in what I want. And my desires point me towards centerfold models as the ultimate, the ultimate, the ultimate. The ultimate accomplishment in my sexual life would be to ball a centerfold model. For a pretty girl with large breasts to be the object of delight to millions of red-blooded American men is perfectly normal. Nothing wrong with that. Guys get horny and need to focus on something. Large breasts are great. A large breast is a lovely thing at a particular moment. But as I become old and wise, I think the really important thing is being oriented towards something and understanding that you don’t necessarily have to have the thing to enjoy the thing. I happen to be in love with a woman who has medium-sized breasts.

Playboy: You are synonymous with the downtown New York scene. Do you dream crossover dreams?

Bogosian: At this time, I don’t think I’m going to show up as some kind of box office attraction. But you never know. I’d like to be a star. There’s always the challenge, especially when you’re surrounded by agents and producers, to see if you can really catch the gold ring. Can I fill Madison Square Garden? Can I go on Johnny and do a killer five minutes? I can’t imagine getting on Letterman, people would watch and say they knew what I was doing: This guy plays thugs from New Jersey and subway panhandlers. They wouldn’t see the irony; it would be like I’m just making cruel fun on these guys. I need an audience to be with me for a little while.

Playboy: You’ve bought a house in New Jersey. Will crab grass begin to crop up in your monologs?

Bogosian: It has already. I did a monolog called Normal Guy. I like gardening a lot. Gardening gets me real mellow. I grow twenty-five kinds of vegetables, and when I’m lucky, like last summer, a lot of things come up very nicely. I grow lettuce and beets and carrots and different varieties of cucumbers. I grow different varieties of corn and tomatoes and squash and pumpkins and peppers and okra and all kinds of neat stuff. And early in August, you get to a point where everything you’re eating that night at dinner was grown in your own garden. That’s nice. However, when you garden, you find out that in order to get your vegetables to look good, you have to kill everything within a hundred yards: animals, plants, and little insects. And you realize that after you do all that, you still end up with this gnarled little carrot. Then you go to the supermarket and you get this perfect carrot and you wonder, What are they killing to make these?

Playboy: One of your characters defines being civilized as sitting on a couch with a babe, watching TV, eating clam dip on a ripple potato chip, smoking joints, snorting coke–and swilling bourbon, beer and champagne. What’s your vision of the civilized life?

Bogosian: In New Jersey, we have a fireplace and we’re very, very civilized. I’m sitting on the couch and the fire is going and snow is falling outside and I’m reading a pulp novel by Stephen King. Being over thirty-five, there’s no question that there is a vibe in me that’s moving toward a Stratolounger with a bowl of potato chips and a cable TV with a channel selector. I will fight that tooth and nail. It scares me. I like middle-class life. I don’t think it’s a sin to be middle class. I don’t have to be mainstream to be comfortable. I’ve spent time with Frank Zappa, and he has a very normal, middle-class existence. He’s a daddy and has a whole family and they have pizza for lunch and they have pets and it’s a very normal life. But he’s not mainstream and never will be.

[legendary-69420]

Awkward Interviews 1 : Awkward Interviews ft. Bored Mark

Chapter 5 : Part 1

(Racing Hearts : VOLUME 3 )

racing hearts

The press conference was set up like any other—a line of drivers in front of cameras, a crowd of eager reporters, and the buzzing energy typical of a race weekend. Charles, as always, was focused and fully present, offering smooth answers with a professional charm that the media loved. He sat with the other drivers, answering questions, leaning in to share his thoughts, his bright-eyed, caffeinated energy making him as lively as ever.

But then, there was Mark.

Mark, who clearly hadn’t had enough coffee, sat slouched in his chair, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. He stared off into the distance, eyes glazed, mind seemingly far away. His posture was a study in apathy, his arms crossed lazily over his chest, his head lolling slightly to the side as if he might actually fall asleep then and there.

The next journalist, clearly determined to pull him into the conversation, looked directly at Mark and asked, “Mark, what’s your guilty pleasure?”

Mark blinked, as if just realizing he was still in a room full of people. He tilted his head slightly, then answered in an entirely innocent tone, “Why would I feel guilty when I’m being pleasured?”

For a moment, the silence in the room was absolute.

Across the stage, the other drivers stifled laughter, and even the reporters glanced at each other, momentarily at a loss. Charles, meanwhile, went rigid, his jaw dropping a little as he stared at Mark. He could feel a blush creeping up his neck as the other drivers tried to hide their grins, each one catching Charles’ reaction before he could fully mask it.

Mark, utterly oblivious to the bomb he’d just dropped, kept a straight face as he leaned back, crossing one leg over the other. His eyes drifted back to that same spot on the floor, leaving everyone else to interpret (or misinterpret) what he had just said.

Seeing an opportunity to lighten the mood, a reporter piped up, “Well, Mark, any funny stories with Charles you’d like to share? Perhaps something about your partnership or moments off-track?”

Mark, still not fully there, glanced vaguely in Charles’ direction, his expression blank as he recalled a recent memory. “Oh, yeah, I remember now. I was having this amazing dream about winning the championship with Charles—y’know, feeling like we’re on top of the world. And then Charles decides to wake me up by spraying water on my face.”

Mark paused, looking almost fondly at the memory. “So yeah, I ended up having wet dreams about Charles.”

The room exploded into an awkward mix of laughter and gasps. Charles turned a deep shade of red, unable to contain his reaction this time. The other drivers were visibly struggling to keep it together, glancing at each other with wide eyes and open mouths.

Mark, of course, was still blissfully unaware, merely nodding to himself as if he had made a perfectly normal, everyday statement.

As the press conference continued, Mark was hit with yet another straightforward question: this time about his racing strategy for the upcoming season. The journalists expected a standard response, maybe some rehearsed lines about focus and team effort. But Mark, as usual, answered in his own unique style, inadvertently raising eyebrows yet again.

With complete sincerity, he began explaining his approach. "I think it’s all about finding the right position and… well, you know, staying steady, especially when things get intense." He paused, as if weighing his words, then continued, “Once you’re in, you just have to go deeper until you reach that… sweet spot.”

The crowd froze for a split second, unsure if they’d just heard what they thought they did. The innuendo wasn’t lost on anyone, and the amused expressions around the room confirmed that. Charles, who had been attempting to stay professional despite Mark’s earlier comments, was now visibly struggling, eyes squeezed shut as he tried not to burst out laughing.

As the press conference progressed, the hilarity only escalated. Mark was asked yet another question that seemed harmless on the surface:

“Mark, you and Charles are known for working really well together on the track. How would you describe the way you two… sync up?”

Mark took a moment to think before answering, trying his best to keep things professional this time. “Well, with Charles, it’s like… we just have this connection, you know?” he started, his tone completely sincere. “Like he knows exactly when to push and when to pull back. And sometimes, you just… feel each other’s rhythm.”

The interviewer’s grin widened as the room filled with stifled laughter. Charles’ face went beet red, and he muttered under his breath, “Oh, for god’s sake.”

Finally catching on to the double meaning, Mark’s eyes went wide. He covered his face with one hand, sighing in exasperation, “I didn’t mean—oh, come on!”

Charles struggled to keep a straight face, and even some of the other drivers chuckled at Mark’s unintentional word choices. The media jumped on the moment immediately, fueling fan reactions on social media.

@Charkshipper : "We understand that mark dreams of winning the championship. But WITH Charles? Hmmm something is going on 👀 #Charkisreal"

@RacingDreams88: “MARK REALLY SAID ‘WHY FEEL GUILTY WHEN I’M BEING PLEASURED?’ 💀 HE'S KILLING ME #AwkwardButIconic #F1PressCon”

@Charles_EyesOnly: “Charles blushing after Mark said ‘wet dreams’ about him… I AM NOT OKAY #CharMark #MoreThanTeammates???”

@TrackSideTrouble: “FINDING THE RIGHT POSITION? Going DEEPER?? Mark is out here turning press conferences into stand-up comedy 💀💀 #F1”

@RacingRookie19: “I SWEAR HE DOESN’T MEAN TO SOUND LIKE THAT 😭 Mark, pls never change. #SweetSpot #InnuendoKing”

@CharlesBae_Fan: “Charles’ face every time Mark speaks: 🫣💀 Literally struggling not to laugh! Mark is accidentally hilarious. #F1PressChaos”

@CharlesAndMarkFan: “Mark, babe, that’s not how you describe a racing partnership 😂 but pls continue #SyncUpGoals”

@F1_Memelord: “‘Charles knows exactly when to push and pull back.’ Yeah, Mark, we can tell. Poor Charles can’t handle this lmao #PressConferenceFails”

Memes in Circulation

An image of an interviewer with a pained smile, captioned, “When you just wanted a normal answer but got a confession.”

Facepalm Compilation: A collage of Charles’ progressively redder face with each of Mark's unintentional innuendos: “Charles’ journey during one press conference.”

A GIF of Charles burying his face in his hands, captioned, “When your teammate can’t stop ‘finding sweet spots’ during interviews.”

A GIF of Charles sinking into his seat, his face bright red, with the caption: “Charles trying to survive Mark’s accidental innuendos like… #Help #SaveCharles”

Mark’s accidental innuendos kept everyone entertained, from his teammates to fans. Even Charles, as much as he tried to hide it, couldn’t help but find it amusing—even endearing—watching Mark unknowingly trip over his words.

(Dividers by @omi-resources)

[eemamminy-art]

I was talking with some friends about it just now and I wanted to share my headcanons for the bachelor/ettes ages in stardew valley! These are just my own personal interpretations of them and of course you can disagree if you feel differently, but I wanted to share anyway! I actually put a lot of thought into picking them and have reasons for each of them being the ages they are, which I summarized a little bit below :3

Alex - 20 He seems like he's still in this mindset of someone who just graduated high school and is about to move on to bigger things, but he's spinning his wheels talking about all the things he's gonna do and never taking meaningful steps toward achieving those things (until meeting the farmer, that is)

Elliott - 32 He seems like someone who maybe had a privileged background and lots of opportunities, spent a few years in a career and just realized he yearned for something more romantic and wistful out of life. He has these lines that seem kind of out of touch and idealistic, which makes me think he hasn't had to struggle too much in life but wants to experience that in order to live out his dreams as a writer (thus, living in the conditions he does and trying to live a very simple life in the valley)

Harvey - 35 He has to skew older just due to him being a doctor with his own clinic, but Harvey seems like someone who doesn't have too much practical experience in life and relationships, and also isn't really good at taking care of himself. So mid-30's fits perfect: still at that stage where he hasn't quite found himself or had a lot of experiences but has a very extensive education and on the surface seems very put-together.

Shane - 30 There's all sorts of reasons why Shane went off the rails (general listlessness in life, Jas' parents passing away, maybe unfulfilled dreams?) but I picked 30 for him as like, he had been struggling with all those aforementioned things and then hitting that milestone birthday kind of was a wakeup call that compounded his mental health struggles. I think he could even be older than that, honestly, but I like the idea of him still being somewhat young but just hitting that sort of "now what?" feeling in his late 20's and never pulling out of it.

Sebastian - 28 To me, Sebastian is similar to Shane in the sense of not having a direction in life and just getting by with the bare minimum while being unhappy overall. He has less life experience than Shane seems to so I put him in his 20's, but I like to think of him as someone going through a quarter life crisis who is maybe a bit more immature than people his own age but has no idea how to course correct and opts to just sleep his problems away as a means of coping with his depression.

Sam - 25 I like to lean into Sam's relationship with his little brother and the role he plays as the man of the house while his father is overseas, so I see him as someone who has ambitions in life but he is very caring and sentimental toward his family so he has been stalling his own life in order to care for Vincent, since he feels like he's the only one who can.

~~~

Maru - 21 Given the way her dad talks about her "bright future" I imagine her being in college still. I liked the idea of her and Sebastian having a decently large age gap too, to better highlight how dysfunctional their relationship is and how she looks up to him while he is unable to connect with her in any positive way. On that note, I think her being so much younger and finding more success than Sebastian also could contribute to their sibling issues.

Penny - 23 I think with Penny I put the least thought into with picking her age-- she's someone who is relatively naive and inexperienced in the world but she has an air of maturity to her as a result of her parentification. She could easily skew older or younger than this, but putting her at this age just felt right!

Leah - 26 I see Leah as being someone who is well into adulthood but still quite young, but old enough to have experience living on her own in a way that makes her so self-sufficient as she is. I can imagine her leaving home at a young age and really struggling to make ends meet for several years while creating her art. Also her creeping toward 30 could be a reason for her ex to become so pushy about her settling down to have kids and a stable, boring life, as that's the expectation for a lot of women as they get older (or at least, after 30+).

Emily - 29 She just has big sister vibes to me. I wanted her to be older than a lot of the other characters who are from Pelican Town, as this idea that like, she's always been looking out for them like they're her siblings. :3 Plus she just has wine aunt energy, I wanted her to be older than the rest.

Abigail - 23 I think I make her older than a lot of people do, though I still keep her quite young at 23. She's in college still so I wanted her to be around that age, but maybe just going through it slower than her peers. The kind of person that had to retake classes because she didn't plan out her studying or homework appropriately, or she got overwhelmed and dropped classes, or she took a semester or two off, you know! That sort of thing!

Haley - 19 Out of all of these characters, Haley seems the most immature to me so I wanted her to be very close to high school age. She has these desires to shop and to travel and to just enjoy herself, she's not really thinking about the future because she is so young she doesn't really have to. She doesn't really think much about other people initially either, because she has this worldview that doesn't extend much farther beyond herself.

[thepiecesofcait]

[Red & Black Trumpets]

[mintjeru]

my take on The orv webtoon panel 💥

open for better quality | no reposts

[domesticatedmeatpig]

i kind of hate art. i can never make anythin.g i enjoy anymore. all i can draw nowadays is souless anime boy twink adopts for money. money money money. i dont even want money. i hate twinks. i hate drawing them .i hate the people that buy them. i hate my life

[starpros-sunshine]

Some like it hot is a very funny film god I love motion pictures

[solarpunkani]

Laying in bed wishing I was in a field full of milkweed collecting seeds

[10piecechickenmcnugget]

About to be a little #fandom critical while I’m still mildly delirious

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who draw/write cquackity and cpurpled as friends or even just like on good terms that aren’t forced

you can’t look me in the eyes and tell me that alex “no one will remember you” quackity and purpled “I don’t think there will ever be a point in time where I respect you as a person” bedwars are friends

[kohakhearts]

cons of going to a “good schoolTM”: insane workload, unbearable classmates, next to no support when you have any kind of extenuating circumstances Including literal hospitalization, etc

pros of going to a “good schoolTM”: the 9-5 lifestyle is genuinely a major improvement

[imaharrie]

-

[jackfromthefairytale]

snowblood is outright the metalcore song of all time I don't know what it is about that song specifically but it has everything