#This probably would factor in the possibility of them coming over though. =P

[hauntedhokage]

Hay Fever

Summary: The effects of the pollen had to have worn off, but your desire for Kakashi hasn’t. Part Two to Pollen Count | Cross posted to AO3

Word count: 3k

Warnings: porn with feelings, p in v sex, fingering, little bit of hand worship/kink, little bit of overstimulation, 

Notes: this is softer than I had originally anticipated it being but that’s okay!

Requests open! | support me on ko-fi!

Upon your return to the village, you try to avoid Kakashi as much as you possibly can. After he had made good on his promise to help deal with any lingering symptoms at an inn on your second night of traveling, as well as at the inn in the Sand Village both nights you’d stayed, and then once more on the journey back. You weren’t sure if the symptoms were truly lingering or if your body just had a weird reaction to Kakashi’s closer than usual proximity, so you thought space would be the solution. 

Especially after Tsunade had made a comment about how friendly you both seemed before dismissing you. 

Space seemed like the correct response; but when everything you saw made you think about your comrade, space also seemed like the incorrect response. Even your personal bed that Kakashi had never been near felt empty to lay in alone, and that wasn’t the solidifying factor for you that this wasn’t a lingering side effect of the pollen - it was a lingering side effect of Kakashi himself. How pathetic and extremely problematic. How could you function should you be sent out with him again if you couldn’t even lay in bed without thinking of him? How could you look at those hands when you knew how nicely they could grip your hips or your wrists? It just wasn’t fair. Did he even know that he was so addictive? 

You supposed sexual problems required sexual solutions (or a denial to the sexual solution), so you remove yourself from the empty-feeling bed so you could go off in search of the ninja who was dominating your thoughts. He’d probably be at his home, or walking around the village reading that little book of his. Maybe all you had to do was listen for that little genin of his and the kid would lead you right to him?

Thankfully; you don’t have to look far, since you open your front door to see Kakashi standing in front of it and ready to knock. He looks to be as surprised to see you as you were to see him, which has you quickly recovering to obtain the cool advantage (for once). You lean against the doorframe as he lowers his hand to his hip, smile on your face as you ask, “Looking for me?”

“I think you’ve been avoiding me,” is all he says at first, and you quickly lose the cool advantage when you almost lose your balance at the statement. “It feels silly, since we’ve only been back for a couple days, but I haven’t seen you around like I usually would. Have I done something to upset you?”

“No, of course not! I think you should come in, though.” 

He follows you inside without question, removing his sandals and taking a seat in your chair as you start to pace the floor. Sure you had planned on squashing this, but how were you supposed to tell him that you were craving him? That it wasn’t the pollen anymore but your own body telling you that you needed him around you, over you, inside you, and so forth? How were you supposed to just say that? Wasn’t having sex with someone supposed to make talking to them easier, or was Master Jiraiya bullshitting you when he said that?

“Are you-”

“Okay, maybe I was avoiding you a little bit but I needed to know if what I was feeling was lingering effects of the pollen or if it was… something else.” Your admission has him sitting up straighter, but you continue to pace since you knew you’d stop talking if you were to stop moving. Kakashi was good at stopping you in your tracks and you couldn’t let that happen just yet. “I don’t know how to describe it, but I can’t stop thinking about your hands. Hell I can’t even lay down without missing you. I thought maybe it was the pollen, but my body was only warm when I was around you over the last few days of traveling and being back. So I needed to figure it out, and I-I think I did.”

“It’s not the pollen.” 

“No, it’s not,” you mumble, your hands coming together in front of you so you could play with them to distract yourself. “And I’m not sure what to do about it.”

“A talented tactician without a plan, I should be honored.” He’s teasing you, you know that, but you aren’t upset by it since it means that he’s not bothered by your admission. He’s still here with you, so you hoped that you had a chance to get what you felt you needed or at the very least he’d let you down gently. “It’s not the pollen for me, either.“

That wasn’t as helpful to hear as you thought it would be. You’re stopped in your tracks as you knew you would be, your eyes following his figure as he stands from his seat so he could stand in front of you. Your hands are stilled by his, and your body grows warmer with every passing second of eye contact that goes by without him saying anything as his thumbs move along your knuckles. 

“I’m glad I haven’t upset you,” he finally says, and you find your smile returning as you nod.

“Considering I was going to ask if you wanted to spend more time together. This last venture of ours taught me that I can’t avoid my feelings any longer. Fate was going to keep putting you in front of me until I did something about it.”

“So now you’re doing something about it?”

“If you’ll let me.” The question is clear, and your answer is a confident nod that has him smiling behind his mask before one of his hands releases yours. Your eyes close when you see his fingers hook into his mask to pull it down, only to slowly open them when he tells you that he wants you to look at him. Considering the amount of times you’d had sex with him while on a mission, truly seeing his face shouldn’t have felt like such a heavy transgression. However you’re looking at him and he’s looking at you, a smile on his face he watches you take him in. And then his hands are on your cheeks, his lips meet yours, and you’re losing yourself in this man once more as he takes over your senses. 

Hands start tugging and your vests and shirts are on the floor quickly. His hands move from your face to your hips, gently guiding you back towards your bed.

“You said you thought about my hands?” he asks, gently nudging your nose with his own as you sit on your bed. “What about them is so enticing to you?”

The question has your breath hitching in your throat, although you should have expected the question once you’d told him that you had been thinking about them. Your hand takes his wrist, pulling his hand from your hip and holding it in front of your face. Gently you work to remove the glove from his hand, pressing a kiss to the exposed palm. What wasn’t enticing about these hands? They were so big, fingers long and thick, he’d brought you close to tears multiple times just using his hand while you were on that mission.

“They’re wonderful,” is all you say at first, kissing each fingertip as your eyes meet his again. “Big and strong, fingers that stretch me so nicely but still so gentle.”

“They’re not soft, though.” 

“They are to me,” you counter, bringing two of his fingertips into your mouth. This time it’s his breath that hitches, his other hand tugging at your pants to get them off of you. Your free hand pushes yourself up off the mattress to make things easier for him, keeping his fingers in your mouth as your tongue works to wet them the way you needed. You wanted him to touch you, he needed to be ready for that. 

“So needy, and just for me, hm?” You nod around his fingers, kicking your pants off the rest of the way and scooting back on the mattress. He follows, sitting back on his heels but gently pushing you to lay on your back against your pillows. 

“Show me,” he requests, looking at you as you prop yourself up on one of your elbows to look at him better. “Show me how you like to be touched, please. Then I’ll touch you as you want.”

The request has you nodding, reaching out and pressing two of your fingers to his lips. He opens them, and you watch with interest as he works to wet them for you. Much like everything else he did; he was diligent in treating your fingers with care and consideration, but teasing when he gave them a gentle bite as you withdrew them. Your eyes hold his as your fingers dip into the wetness that had gathered and slowly dragged them to your clit. Large hands settle on your thighs, keeping your legs open for him to kneel on the bed between them as you continue to circle the bud.

His eyes leave yours in favor of watching your fingers, and you let your eyes close knowing that his attention was elsewhere. You knew this wouldn’t be enough, since you had him here you’d need his fingers in addition to yours to be able to get off like this. Luckily for you, he must have been growing impatient and you felt one of his fingers trace along your spread folds before slowly probing your entrance.

“This is all for me?” he asks, his finger continuing to move within you and chuckling when he feels you clench around his finger. He knows the answer, but you still nod to give him the satisfaction of a response - a clear indicator that you did want him as much as he wanted you. A second finger joins the first, and his hand moves from your thigh to your hip to keep you from moving beneath him.

Your eyes meet his once again, struggling to keep still as his fingers work to ready you for a much larger intrusion. A whispered instruction has your fingers working against your clit again, trying to match the pace of your movements with the pace of his fingers but you find difficulty in trying to pay attention to his fingers when his hand leaves your hip to push at his pants. The sound of fabric rustling feels so loud in your ears, and you feel your heart rate increase knowing what’s to come as his fingers increase their pace and yours do the same against your clit.

“Come for me, darling,” he requests, curling his fingers and pressing repeatedly into that spot that has you seeing stars as your eyes close again and your fingers continue to work against the sensitive nerves. He’s coaxing you towards that edge with his fingers, his voice soft as he urges you to come and talks you through the waves of your orgasm. 

“I really like your fingers a lot,” you breathe, relaxing into the mattress as his fingers leave you so he can get out of his pants. He only smiles at you, and you watch with interest as he fully undresses. You’d never seen him this undressed, even on the mission you were sure that he’d kept something on during your various encounters, so this was something you’d like to savor as you know you’re the only person alive to see all of Kakashi Hatake like this. 

“I do like the way you look at me,” he comments, and you have only the moments as he gets into position above you to consider the sentiment behind his words. There’s so much you could say to that, plenty that you wanted to say - but the words get caught in your throat when that dark eye meets yours as he carefully pushes his length into you.

Your lips part as his hips press to yours, your hand coming to cradle his cheek to bring his forehead to yours. There are emotions in his eye that you dare not try to name, but you take solace in knowing that they’re there. That your feelings towards him are not only shared, but just as intense, and you’re not sure that either of you truly know what to do with them besides this. 

“Romantic feelings and intimacy are not my strong suit,” he whispers as he pulls out, the smallest of groans leaving him as he thrusts back into you. “You’ll have to forgive me as I learn to be a decent man for you.”

“Shinobi are always training in some capacity anyways,” you murmur, smiling as he does. He doesn’t have a response to that, but you don’t need him to. You just need him here with you in this moment, thrusting into you so tenderly in the middle of your mattress. It’s a slow ascent to that bliss, every movement by your lover very calculated and telling you that he was trying to take his time with you with slow, deep thrusts that allowed you to feel every inch of him.

His hand removes yours from his face, lacing his fingers with yours and pressing your joined hands into the pillow beside your head. His forehead pressed to yours, your eyes stay on him as he lets his close. Your hand that wasn’t holding his moves to hold his cheek, bringing him in for a kiss as his movements falter slightly.  

“Are you going to come for me again?” he asks, and you nod your confirmation. He pulls away from you, his hand bringing yours to where your bodies met. “Make yourself come for me. Show me how pretty you are when you come.” 

You’re plenty wet, your fingers don’t need any assistance in gliding over your clit as Kakashi continues to thrust into you. His pace stays steady, his eye now watching your hand as your fingers move frantically against the bud. This was it, you were going to come again and he looked excited for that to happen. 

His name leaves you in a wail, your hand gripping his forearm tightly as you let the feeling wash over you, only to let out a startled squeak when you feel him pull you up so that you were in his lap. You take a moment to reorient, placing one of your hands on his shoulder for balance, and your eyes meet his once more as his hand starts to guide your hips along his shaft. 

“You’re crafty,” you mumble, and he smiles as he kisses you. A pace had been set, one you were barely able to keep up with but you knew Kakashi was close. There’s a tension in his shoulders that you can’t ignore, but you’re too far gone to be able to truly do something about it, especially with a third orgasm already creeping up so quickly behind the second. This man would most likely kill you; but all you can really do is whisper praises to him, making sure that he knew how good he was making you feel as his hips continued to rise up into yours. 

“You can come for me one more time, can’t you? I’m sure you can,” his gentle urging has you nodding, your hand leaving his shoulder to go to your clit once more since that was what you knew would send you over the edge. 

Your body stiffens as the pure heat in your core begins to wash over the rest of your senses, your free hand holding onto his bicep for dear life. Kakashi is speaking to you, praising you most likely, but you could only hear your heart pounding as he thrusts into you harder. His 

 hand gently pushes yours away from your clit, his fingers eagerly working at your over sensitive bundle to push you to that edge, you cradle the back of his head to keep his forehead connected to yours and maintain that eye contact you craved as you babbled your own string of praises to him as the pleasure overwhelms you and you’re coming on his length once more. 

It feels as if time has slowed after that, you continue to cling onto Kakashi and you’re not sure if it’s been seconds or minutes, but it feels like too long yet not long enough before he’s coming deep inside you. You feel so interconnected with him that you’re not sure where his form ended and yours began, but you could probably stay like this for a lifetime with him. 

“That was…” You start, but you’re not sure how to describe just how wonderful that was. Were there actually words that could describe how euphoric sex with Kakashi Hatake was?

“Yeah,” is all he can muster, lowering you back down onto your bedding. A kiss to your forehead is followed by a kiss on your lips, and he’s telling you that he’ll be right back before he stands from your bed.

You lay there quietly, trying to properly regulate your breathing in an effort to cool your body down. The question of “what now?” circulates through your brain, and you’re not sure what the answer was. You’d just had sex with Kakashi again, this time after admitting shared feelings. Did this mean you two were a couple now? Did Kakashi even want a label like that?

“What happens next?” you ask softly, watching as he re-emerges from your bathroom now wearing his shirt and mask. 

“I think I should take you out on a proper date, for starters. Dinner tonight?”

“I’d rather stay in.” Your comment has him shaking his head as he joins you in your bed, pulling you into his chest as you grin up at him. “There’s plenty to eat here.”

“That’s for dessert, and I plan to indulge.”

[satoshi-mochida]

Koei Tecmo America is conducting a data-collecting survey regarding its Japanese otome games on Twitter. Until September 26, 2019, people can help answer the question, “Would gamers in the west be interested in any Ruby Party titles?” This would apply to the Neo Romance games like Harukanaru Toko no Naka de 7, Kiniro no Corda Octave, and the just announced Angelique game.

The company made it clear that this is not about localizations. It is about getting data from people who might be interested in Koei Tecmo otome games. It just asks if people want them, then asks if people could share which platform they’d like to play the games on. As of 6:45am CT on September 24, 2019, the response was overwhelmingly positive, with 81% of the 3,483 voters choosing “yes.” The Nintendo Switch was a very popular platform, though people were also chiming in to suggest the PlayStation 4, PC, and even Xbox One as possible platforms.

The last few years have been full of Ruby Party Neo Romance games in Japan. The PlayStation Vita got games like Harukanaru Toki no Naka de Ultimate and Kiniro no Corda 3: Full Voice Special and Octave (La Corda de Oro). The Nintendo Switch has also been a popular platform, with Harukanaru Toki no Naka de 6 DX and eventually 7, the Angelique announcement, and its own Kiniro no Corda: Octave port.

Angelique and Harukanaru Toki no Naka de 7 will come to the Nintendo Switch in Japan in 2020.

[estrel]

for #spnprideweek day 1: coming out + flags

↳ summary: cas tells sam a secret that he hasn’t (really) told anybody else. surprisingly, sam has one too.  PRIDE series | gen, sam & cas | word count: 1.7k

[READ ON AO3]

Sam’s grimacing a little at the grease from the fries on Cas’ plate. Cas would usually make a comment, here, about Sam keeping his eyes on his own paper, or that it isn’t nearly as bad as the veggie burger sitting on his plate at Sam’s behest. This is the recompense, Cas wants to say, but his mouth is dry and no words are coming out even if he wants them to.

Accompanying the inability to speak is the twisting feeling in his gut that won’t even allow him to pick up the burger. The smell is too much, too, and Cas hates to admit it but it’s probably the grease, so he sits back a little against the peeling seat of the booth to calm his nerves.

It’s just Sam. He can do this. It’s only that this is the first time he’s telling anyone, and that definitely ups the stakes a little.

Well, that’s somewhat of a lie. Cas had told the nice woman at the grocery store check out last week when he’d seen her little pin on her work uniform and asked where he could get one. 

He hadn’t actually bought one, of course, but Cas eyed the small bin full of brightly colored pins on the way out, convincing himself it was stupid to get back in line again for something so small and inexpensive. Still, he’d thought about it on the drive back to the Bunker, and that night in his bed, and the full week following, up until now. 

Now, Sam was looking at him with concern, and wiping his mouth in that way that means he’s about to get serious.

“Is everything alright?” he asks, pointedly looking down at Cas’ loaded plate. He’d barely taken a bite, except for a few nibbles of his admittedly greasy fries. And it was weird because since becoming human, Cas' appetite had grown considerably, much to Dean's delight.

And—Dean. That's what this was all about, wasn't it? Sure, it was more than just Dean, it was all the humans that had made Cas' body ache like it hadn't before, had made him think of what it means to be in this vessel—his body—and be attracted to other...humans.

It was odd. In hindsight, things in Heaven had been so much easier in this regard. Cas had spent most of his life clueless to the capabilities of human attraction, and then he met Dean and it all came crashing down around him. Only then, Cas was ignoring it. He was facing the other way, because though he felt human, he wasn't. Not really.

But everything is different now.

Cas clears his throat.

"Well," he starts, "no. I am feeling what I believe you’d call...anxiety. My stomach hurts, I find I'm unable to eat, a-and my hands are—"

"Cas," Sam interrupts. Shaking. Cas' hands are shaking.

Sam's fully set his fork and knife down now, hands clasped together on the edge of the table. "Talk to me."

Cas licks his dry lips.

"It’s not...it isn’t a big deal, really,” and yet Cas can feel his heart hammering in his chest. He sucks in a breath. “But I’m, uh. I wanted to tell you that...I like men.”

Sam’s expression doesn’t change, but he blinks at Cas once from across the table.

“Okay.”

Cas raises an eyebrow, pulse slowing down a little with his next exhale. “Okay?”

Maybe it was that simple, and Cas was worrying over nothing. It’s just...this feels like it should be bigger. Earth-shattering. Like Sam should either hug him or tell him he never wants to speak to Cas again.

Instead, he just shrugs, picks up his fork and pushes bits of his salad around his plate.

But then Cas’ gaze moves to Sam’s face and...Sam’s frowning. Cas feels his heart thumping hard again, waiting for the ball to drop. It feels a little like when Dean sat him down to “talk,” right after he lost his powers, and, well. Cas knew how that had ended. He braces himself for the worst, schools his features to something more neutral.

“I’m,” Sam clears his throat, “I’m sorry you got nervous over all of that. I-I get that coming out is...” he laughs, “usually a bigger deal, but. You don’t have to worry with me, you know? I get it.”

That makes Cas pause. “You...do?”

Now Sam’s looking at him, eyes a little wide, but he works his jaw and gets the words out. “Yeah. Uh... well I guess now’s a good a time as any to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

The fork is set back down again. The bell over the diner door jingles. 

“In college...you know about Jess,” Sam says, jogging Cas’ memory. He knows, so he nods and Sam continues, “Well we uh. We actually met in a Gender Studies class. I thought, ‘pff, easy A,’ but it was actually way more complex than I originally thought, so she kind of...tutored me.” Cas raises an eyebrow, and Sam rolls his eyes.

“Actually tutored me. Whatever. Point is, I learned a lot—‘cause she was a great teacher—and...not just about the class, but about myself, too.” 

Cas nods slowly, beginning to catch Sam’s drift. “Okay...”

Despite his tone, Sam’s posture stiffens a little, like he’s uncomfortable, or not really used to this type of conversation. Cas does his best to relax into his seat to ease him, unfolding his arms.

“What I’m saying is,” Sam shrugs, “I’m...not...cis. Like, I don’t....I’m not um, a guy, I guess. Well, sort of. I’m non-binary.”

Cas is silent for a second, mulling it over in his head. Eventually it becomes long enough for Sam to say, “Uh...you know what? You can forget it, man—”

“No!” Cas says, almost knocking over his plate in the process. The silverware clatters as it falls onto the table, and Sam flinches a little. “I was just thinking...I want to apologize if anything I’ve said about your gender has ever made you uncomfortable, or if you—”

Sam’s out-facing palm makes Cas stutter to a stop. There’s a weird guilt settling in the pit of his stomach, and the anxiety that he’d thought was gone is back full force again. Cas tears off a piece of his napkin.

“Cas, dude. Calm down,” Sam laughs. He takes a deep breath, and Cas follows his lead. They breathe in and out together for a beat, and when Cas feels fairly calmer, Sam pushes both of their plates aside.

“There’s no need to apologize for something you couldn’t have known about,” he starts, shaking his head a little, “and you haven’t done anything wrong, either. I still use he and him pronouns, and sometimes they and them. And besides, it’s not like I go around telling people. Especially with, uh, the way I was raised...I’ve been hesitant, you know? It was great in college, people were really supportive when I told them. But then when I started hunting again...I don’t know. 

“My dad...uh. I tried telling him, once. Didn’t go too well, so I didn’t try it again. I think that’s why Dean...” he shakes his head, frowning down at the table again. “It wasn’t easy, growing up the way we did. You could probably understand that.”

Cas nods. Under the table, his napkin is shredded into bits. 

“I do. I think, in a way, I also understand being trans.” Sam jerks their head up, intrigued. 

“Angels...we don’t experience gender the same way humans do. In fact, the concept is entirely nonexistent in Heaven. So, when we take vessels...”

“You’re essentially defining yourself,” Sam says in awe. It makes Cas smile to see them back in their element, leaning forward a little to listen better. “I never thought about it that way, not really.”

Cas shrugs. “I’m not sure all of my siblings did, either. Many chose according to which vessel would best suit them and their form. That was definitely a factor in me choosing Jimmy, but I also found the thought of looking like a human man...greatly appealing.”

Sam’s nodding now, gaze darting to different parts of the table. Cas knows that means they’re mentally crafting an essay right about now, or thinking of what books in the Bunker might further help in their research about it.

“Wow,” he says, “that’s—I mean. Wow, Cas. Thanks for telling me that. And uh, the other thing.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

There’s a comfortable silence between them now, and Cas takes it as an opportunity to sip from his slightly-melted iced tea. 

“So,” Sam starts again slowly, “have you told Dean?”

Cas sucks in another deep breath, and Sam nods. “Yeah,” he says, “me neither.”

It surprises Cas a little that Sam hasn’t told him, and he expresses that with an inquiring eyebrow. 

Sam purses his lips and dodges the unspoken question. “Dean’s not a bad guy. You probably know that better than anyone except me. You know he’d still love you if you told him.”

Cas’ heart pounds at the mention of the word. When Sam notices, he feels his ears begin to heat with a blush. 

“Oh,” Sam smiles, “that. I figured. For a while now, but I didn’t wanna say anything.”

Cas tries to will away the heat on his face. He doesn’t say anything, so Sam leaves it be.

The waitress gives them a worried look when she brings the check, eyeing their barely touched plates. They both smile apologetically, insisting that their food was “great” when she whisks it away.

On their way back home, Cas asks if Sam can stop at the store. They don’t ask anything more than, “we need groceries that bad?” and Cas dips inside. He knows this is just like any other grocery run—going in and out as quick as possible with the things they need—yet his heart hammers all the same when he stops in front of the bin near the door. The same employee from last week is working on lane six, and he’s sure to check out at that one with his goods. She gives him a knowing smile.

Cas flops into the passenger seat, a little out of breath.

“That was fast,” Sam starts to say, before noticing Cas’ lack of grocery bags. “Dude. What d’you buy, air?”

Instead, Cas brandishes two brightly colored pins. Sam tentatively takes the yellow, white, purple, and black one, eyes wide.

“For me?” they ask.

Cas smiles, running his thumb over the rainbow one in his hand. 

“For both of us,” he says.

[@spnprideweek]

[whump-cravings]

Bird in the Bathroom Pt 2

previous

1,309 words | Original Work: Bird in a Box

Content | BBU (adjacent), recovery whump, winged whump, nonhuman whumpee, past abuse/torture implied, bruises & other markings, disassociation, descriptions of insects (like lice), chronic pain

tag list: @whump-blog

Lemon thought to perhaps turn them around and lean them against the wall, but they instead shifted to lean against the corner made by bathtub and wall, stretching their left wing out so it the end of it ended up in the water. The feathers there soaked up water right away, which Lemon wasn't sure was supposed to happen normally. Were feathers meant to be water-repellent?

Xe tried not to look at the lacerations on their back, stomach twisting at the crisscrossing scars or open lash wounds there. "I'm not sure if soap is any good for feathers, so I'll just pour water on them." Xe picked up the glass of water before perching on the edge of the tub. "Here goes," xe warned before starting at the top of the wing and trickling water from the cup.

Xe jumped when the feathers fluffed up, the person moving their wing in a few jerking motions so that the wing splashed in the water and flicked water off the feathers. Lemon, a casualty, wiped water out of xir eyes with a light laugh.

"I hope that means I'm doing this right. I'm going to try working some of this dirt out with my fingers."

Dirt and muck fell away as xe poured water while brushing through the feathers with only two or three fingers at a time. Xe marveled at the feeling beneath xir fingers, even if grit interrupted the experience.

"Shit," xe said when the first feather fell out under xir touch, fluttering down into the bathtub. "Sorry—a feather came out. I must have been too rough."

But as xe restarted xir work in the same spot, barely touching their wing, another feather dropped out. Lemon sat back, anxious.

"I'm going to look something up really quick," xe said, wiping xir hands dry before reaching over to the sink for xir phone and pulling up a browser to search why a bird person might be losing feathers.

Xe flicked through several websites, many of them about birds instead of birdfolk. Lemon didn't know if that mattered or not, like if illnesses that could affect birds could unilaterally affect birdfolk. The most common answer seemed to be molting, but that involved a lot of keratin 'casings' and looked pretty obvious. Another site said poor nutrition would do it—that was probably a contributing factor but not one Lemon could solve immediately. Other websites suggested parasites, listing signs and symptoms.

"I'm going to look for mites and feather lice," Lemon said a few minutes later. Xir guest hadn't moved. Xe plucked up the fallen feathers and held xem up to the lights above the mirror.

Sure enough, there were holes around the shaft of the feather. "Got feather lice," xe murmured. "I have to look at your skin now, so you might feel my breath on your wing."

Lemon shifted, feeling xir muscles protest, but pushed aside the pain. Gonna pay for this tomorrow morning. Xe leaned in close to examine the exposed patches of skin on the person's wings.

There were scars here, too. It was hard to not focus on those, on the anger simmering in the back of xir spine. To hurt something so beautiful—no, to hurt anything this way was monstrous.

Detecting mites seemed like a harder task than feather lice. Xe leaned back to grab xir phone again, turning on the flashlight before leaning close again.

Lemon almost dropped xir phone when xe saw near-microscopic flecks, almost like pepper, crawling across the person's skin. Xe shuddered, shaking xir free hand. Though xe didn't think xe were particularly bug-adverse, this was disgusting and unnerving and xe already felt itching all over. Xe started looking up home remedies so xe could hopefully start eliminating the problem right now.

"Got mites. I can pick up some spray treatment at a p—store for ani—at a store," xe stumbled, trying to avoid words people used for box boys like pet and animal. "Mite infestations cause skin irritation which can cause feathers to fall out in patches." Which they probably know because they're the one with feathers, xe scolded xemself. "Looks like the best we can do tonight is keep cleaning you up." Unfortunately, xe doubted xe had enough vinegar to make a home remedy.

So Lemon pushed away xir anxiety about the loose feathers and, trying not to think about the bugs, continued cleaning. The water quickly became littered with feathers, dirt, dried blood, and insect bodies that looked like pepper. Every few cups of water, the person would ruffle their feathers and flick water everywhere.

Once xe had cleaned this wing as well as xe could tonight, xe helped them shift to sit on the toilet lid, leaning against the over-the-toilet cabinet. Xe cleaned the other wing.

Probably need a strainer to drain this... Lemon thought as xe looked at the water.

"Time to dry off," xe murmured once finished, leaning to grab a towel and gently dabbing the feathers. Then xe grabbed the first aid kit again to grab a few packages. "I'm going to put some antibiotic ointment on your back."

Finally, Lemon suspected the two of them were both too exhausted to continue. It wasn't perfect, but the guest was about a thousand times cleaner.

Still going to have to vacuum mites out of the bed in the morning, Lemon thought with a sigh. And those boxers are probably done for. Stripping a battered Pet naked definitely did not feel like the right thing to do, though.

"Let's fold this wing up and get you lying down."

Lemon waited for them to furl their wing up, then helped them stand, looping their arm around xir shoulders and xir arm around their waist. Slowly, xe shuffled from the bathroom—the door and hallway were a bit tight, but they managed okay now that the wings were tucked out of the way.

Where their bodies touched, Lemon could feel the bird person's muscles, taut and trembling with every step. It was the only sign they were struggling or pained.

The two of them reached Lemon's bedroom on the other side of the apartment, and for once xe was grateful xe never made the bed. The person slipped from xir grasp as xe lowered them, crawling onto the soft mattress and curling up facing the door.

"Reaching over you to get the blankets," Lemon said, draping them over the person. Xir guest watched xem silently.

"There," Lemon said. "I'll be right back."

Xe left the door open and gathered up the snacks from the bathroom, refilling the cup with apple juice and then bringing all of it to the nightstand. Xe unplugged xir phone charger from the lamp.

"I think that's it tonight.” Xe looked around to assure xemself. "I'll leave the door open and the hall light on. Try and eat some food."

Xir guest's eyes were drooping closed, and this time it looked like it was out of exhaustion. Lemon held back a smile and nodded, turning out the lamp and the room light, leaving the door ajar.

It was difficult not to just drop onto the couch and leave every problem for Future Lemon. 0300 was approaching. Xe sighed in the middle of the kitchen, looking at the instant pot still full of food. The tub needed straining. The bathroom needed to be wiped down. A headache was already building behind xir eyes.

Come on. You can't waste food and you don't want a mite infestation. Grumbling, xe got to work.

By the time xe popped a few painkillers and finally collapsed onto the couch in a change of clothes, the others in the hottest wash possible, it was closer to 0400. Xe knew xir body would extract its revenge in the morning, but that was definitely Future Lemon's problem.

[dodo-begone]

Loyal here, and back from the dead! Had some health issues and family drama, but I should be completely back now! I hope this all makes sense, I had to take Benadryl so I’m kinda out of it at the moment.

——

For those who have been interested in the idea of a reader from Undertale, I’m so happy! Anon who went into detail with how y/n might be forced into bringing out their soul? *chefs kiss* I love it. And with Ranboo or Techno doing it on accident because of the voice(s)? Then, when they snap out of it and see y/n begging this ‘Frisk’ person for mercy? AAAAAAA YES P L E A S E. I live for the angst and that concept quenched my thirst for it. When it comes to the resets, I think that most of what happened during them felt like dejavú to y/n when going through the Underground, making them give reactions similar to the monsters who seem to recall certain things when you play the game again. However, when it comes to the genocide route, I feel like they don’t remember anything. At least...not until they’re put under extreme stress, panic, trauma, etc., or if they’re in an intense life or death situation. Only then would they remember. But it’s messy when they do. They get thrown into a memory and basically have a mental breakdown. Whether they remember it once they calm down or not...? Up to you. Anyway, here’s some of my own ideas based off all this!

- In Ranboo’s case, I feel like he’d know who Frisk is and quite a bit about y/n’s world. He just seems like the type of person you could tell anything to and he’d listen. Because of this factor, I can see y/n having either already shown him their SOUL, or having planned to in the near future. He’d recognize the situation—a panic attack—and do everything in his power to calm y/n down. He isn’t the type to pry, so he wouldn’t mention the reader’s SOUL unless it seemed to be in really bad condition. He’d rather y/n come to him and open up on their own.

- It’s a cry fest. They’re both tearing up and telling the other not to cry. Y/n knows it wasn’t Ranboo’s fault and doesn’t want him hurting himself over it, especially because his tears hurt him. They forgive him, it’s okay. Ranboo feels incredibly guilty for what he’s done. And seeing them crying over what he did and the trauma he accidentally brought onto them? He’s crushed. You know those sappy movies where the main characters are comforting each other, crying but letting out choked/hiccuping laughter? Not because they find the situation funny, but because they both react the same way and just want what’s best for each other and it’s all around adorable? That’s them.

- But, if it’s yandere Ranboo? He’d probably see this as proof that y/n is far too fragile for this world. Clearly, they need someone to protect them. He’d most certainly feel guilty about what he’d done, but he may play it up a bit to get as much attention/sympathy/whatever from them.

- For Techno, unless he was there when y/n initially woke up in the SMP, I don’t think he’d believe them. So he probably doesn’t know shit (or, he at least knows the basics), unless he found out from someone else. That’s just my opinion tho. Either way, I believe he’d think it’s all bullshit. However, he wouldn’t force an encounter to prove his point. He has at least some decency. No he doesn’t. I feel like he’d remind y/n of just how hostile monsters Underground were in the beginning, so they’d be weary around him. (I’m doing flat out yandere for him from now on bc that’s all I can think of rn)

- If he doesn’t know who Frisk is, I see him being slightly insulted that they think of some random stranger—as far as he’s aware—who clearly hurt them. He’d never do that! He—oh shit, he kinda sorta did do that...

- If he does know who Frisk is and is romantically interested in y/n, he’d probably be peeved that they’re basically referring to him as their sibling. He gets that they’re going through a traumatic episode but c’mon! He’d end up pushing the thought aside to help them. However, he may be slightly petty for the next few days.

- Keeping on the romantic yandere side, I see him possibly making the situation worse even if it isn’t his intention to. Whether he’s told by y/n or someone else, he at least knows what their SOUL is and what it stands for (even if he didn’t believe it till now). So here’s his little darling, all curled up and clutching their SOUL to their chest like it’s their lifeline. Oh, wait, it is. Sure, he’s surprised that it’s real, but any shock he would’ve felt is replaced by awe and he can’t help but notice how mesmerizing it is. So, he forcefully gently pulls their arms away from their chest, cooing at them and saying that everything’s fine, and removes their hands from the entity so he can get a better look at it. He watches as the (color) heart bobs slightly up and down, and can’t help but be surprised by how warm it feels against the palms of his calloused hands when he cups it. Any whimpers and pleas from y/n begging for their soul to be returned are blocked out. All he can focus on is the SOUL in front of him, the very culmination of their being, and how small it is. This little thing, that takes damage whenever their body does, that physically appears whenever they are in a fight, is what keeps them alive? That won’t do. Not at all. This land is far too dangerous for them! They better get used to his cabin, for as far as Techno’s concerned, it’s their new world home.

——

And Tommy forcing them into an encounter because he thinks it’s all bullshit? That would definitely happen. He’d feel so guilty once he sees the look of betrayal in y/n’s eyes and the disappointment that shows on the faces of anyone who had seen the forced encounter. As if they too weren’t curious. He noticed that no one stopped him. Let’s be honest. Most would be too curious to interfere.

- Y/n probably falls to their knees, cupping their SOUL in the palms of their hands. They know that Tommy wouldn’t actually hurt them, but they can’t help but feel as though their boundaries have been pushed aside, as though one of their only requests meant nothing to everyone. Tears slip and it takes watching the glowing heart, being lost in their own world as they mentally count every rhythmic bob to ground them. Once their breathing calms and their sobs turn into hushed whimpers, they push their SOUL back into their chest and stare at the ground, unsure of what to do next.

- Tommy definitely acts a hundred times more mature in the following moments. Depending on when in the DSMP timeline this occurs, he’d either be confident—and rightfully so—in his ability to help someone during a panic attack, or be hesitant, unsure of what to do, fumbling with his words and motions, but trying his damn hardest to help nonetheless. Either way, I see y/n appreciating it. Y/n literally come from a world where they would befriend creatures ten seconds after they genuinely tried to kill them and their sibling. I don’t see them holding a grudge. They’d most likely be slightly weary in the following twenty to thirty minutes, but get over it. After all, they’ve always chosen MERCY. Can’t say the same for their sibling, though. Tommy’s extra cautious about what he says or does around them after that.

- I feel like after a few weeks or months, y/n may bond enough with Tommy to want to show how much they trust him by bringing out their SOUL. Especially if they’re there through all the hell that Tommy goes through story-wise. To them, it’d probably be their way of telling him that they trust him with their life, and that they’ll always be on his side.

- Yandere or not, he does everything in his power to protect y/n if they remain weary of encounters. He’ll either find a way to avoid a fight, not wanting to hurt y/n by doing anything that would make him gain this supposed LOVE that comes from their world, or he’d do enough damage to allow them to escape without anyone or anything dying.

- If y/n discovers that they’re able to befriend the monsters of this world like they could their own, regular Tommy would respect that. He may be a bit antsy if the encounter drags on or if y/n sustains some damage, but he knows that they know what they’re doing. As previously mentioned, he’ll get involved if things go south, but he won’t kill anything. At least, not in front of them. Gotta get bones, blaze powder, and spider eyes somehow. But even then, he does it sparingly out of respect for y/n’s wishes. That, or he’ll have someone else get materials for him.

- Yandere Tommy wouldn’t risk shit. You can’t just talk to mobs, you idiot! You’ll die if you do that! And you’ve only got one life! He’d threaten to kill mobs right in front of y/n if it’d get them to stop trying to play house with disgusting monsters. That, or he may force y/n into killing. Their HP, AT, and DF increase when their LOVE increases, right? So they have to if they want to survive!

——

I agree with the anon that Dream and Vilbur would definitely force y/n into an encounter. Yandere or not. If yandere, they’d probably become obsessed with the concept of SOULS and constantly pressure them into bringing it out. They use it as a nightlight JKJKJK.

- Ya know how in Deltarune, Kris yeets their SOUL into a cage? Well, imagine that, but it’s forcefully taken by Dream. He’d put it in a glass container and show it off like some damn trophy. That, or he hides it away where no one can find it. Vilbur would do the same but keep the SOUL on his person at all times. That way no one forgets who y/n belongs to. To him, it’d show power and ownership. Much to his pleasure and mostly everyone else’s disgust.

- I’d also add Schlatt to the list of people that force an encounter, as well as yandere Sam. Schlatt would pull it out in front of everyone to show how much power he can hold ever someone, or, to use as a shield when he thinks Pogtopia will attack. They wouldn’t want to hurt an innocent person who’s got a little sibling waiting for them at home, would they? With Sam, he’d do it to make sure that y/n is in perfect health. Can’t risk there being any cracks or the SOUL being dim! Following Tommy’s death and revival, he’d probably do the same as Vilbur, keeping their SOUL with him and never letting it out of his sight. However, instead of doing it out of a show of power like Vilbur, it’s out of paranoia. He can’t lose you too. He has to know that you’re okay!

——

For some fluff, here’s who I think y/n would eventually trust enough to show their SOUL:

- Tommy (as mentioned earlier)

- Ranboo (also mentioned earlier)

- Tubbo (he reminds them too much of Asriel to not trust him with their SOUL)

- Captain Puffy (same as Tubbo, but for Toriel)

- Ghostbur (he’s just so nice!! How could they not? Besides, he sometimes reminds them of Napstablook! They probably call Ghostbur Blooky a lot on accident and the ghost just learns to roll with it LOL)

- Karl! (After hearing about this person who comes from a world with timelines and basically time travel, he can’t help but be interested. He’s losing so much, he needs someone who might possibly understand. They both share a similar hatred towards the concept of time travel/resets and the amount of pressure it puts on a person’s shoulders. That, and the lack of memories, even if they‘be both been effected by this in different ways)

- Bad (before he’s corrupted by the egg, of course. He’s so sweet omg. Besides, his personality gives me Toriel vibes)

I personally don’t see them trusting Philza enough, no matter how much he reminds them of Asgore. Then again, the King of Monsters is the one who basically put a bounty on their SOUL. He also refused their MERCY and forced them to FIGHT. Besides, when they hear from others—or see it for themself—that Philza kills his own son? I don’t think they’d ever forgive that. No matter what happens. You should refuse death, because there’s always another option. They’d know first hand, after all. With having their SOUL broken in half and pieced back together thanks to their own sheer will to live. To protect their sibling and save their friends. The battle against Asriel taught them so much, and they’d never take life for granted again thanks to it. “Asgore, though I may not stand by his methods of taking the SOULS of innocents—children, no less—I understand why he did it. He lost both of his children, his pride and joy, at the hands of humans. The real monsters of this w—of my world. He would have given anything to get them back. And you, you just throw your son’s life away? How could you?! Do you know how many beings, Monsters and humans alike, would sacrifice everything just to see their loved ones one more time? To take their place? To save them from a brutal death by the hands of those who want your SOULS? To see their small body covered in blood and burns or spears. Only for their death to have been meaningless, for their SOUL had shattered before it could be collected and used? When it should have been you, their big sibling, to take their place?” Yeah... they’ve definitely got some issues they need to deal with LOL. I personally headcanon that even if Frisk wasn’t able to reset, their soul would have been useless when it came to breaking the barrier because that thing shattered into PIECES. What would the monsters do? Use gorilla glue and hope the damn thing stays together?

——

Imagine how different characters, Yandere or not, would react to y/n’s soul shattering. Especially if it’s because y/n took a hit for them.

ALRIGHT THATS IT AND IM GOING TO SLEEP LOL

Omg that’s so much. It’s all so fucking good but I am just overwhelmed by how much is here because I want to answer it all but,,,

IT’S SO GOOF NIGHTLIGHT SOUL JANSJS PLEASE HAHA that’s just hilarious.

Also putting the soul in cages? YES THAT’S SUCH A GOOD CONCEPT TO BRING UP!!! Vilbur wanting to own while Sam wants to protect. Both lead to a similar end. An emotionless reader with no care for themselves or others. Just a rogue being. A zombie, I’d you will. But not dumb. Oh not dumb at all.

Also putting the soul in a jar??? I ca see DreamXD doing the same, if not similar. Ooo maybe he wears their souls on him? Trapping it in a piece of jewelry to display your “loyalty” and “love” to him.

I’m sorry I’m just not feelin too good.

[azucanela]

being sokka’s s/o would include hcs?

BEING SOKKA’S S/O HEADCANNONS [GENDER NEUTRAL!READER]

being zuko’s s/o headcannons | being korra’s s/o headcannons

SUMMARY: being sokka’s s/o from the confession to the marriage

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

WARNINGS: mild lok spoiler, fluff, kissing, do these count as warnings, yeah this is pretty pg man, blood, stab wound, sokka being sokka

A/N: im sick and dying h e l p, but also interact with me im lonely, become and elusive anon idc <3 also wow i have 500 followers??? idk why you all followed me?? but thanks?? hi??

getting into the relationship

oh god 

i see him with a friends to lovers thing where he either flirts with you from the moment he meets you or progressively begins to fall for you and is far to flustered to flirt because woah there why are you so beautiful

if its the former, then he’s probably gonna be ‘joking’ for the most part and you know this, so you two are just playfully flirting all the time until one day he realizes that he wants this to be REAL and panics 

when you flirt the first time he’s flustered, because he’s really just not used to the same level of forwardness that he has himself, but after a while Sokka is gonna get used to it and he’ll just roll with it

but when he realizes he wants more? he’s gonna be flustered all over again, and he’s probably gonna flirt with you signifigantly less, which is gonna cause you to confront him, much to his dismay, because oh no he’s alone with you-

“oh! haha.. hey y/n. yeah i need to go sharpen my boomerang-”

“sokka that’s not something you can do.”

when you confront him, he’s probably gonna be honest with you and tell you how he feels because he really cares for you and just wants you to calm down because no he does n o t hate you

“do you hate me or something now?”

“uh.. it’s the opposite actually you see-”

if its the latter, he’s gonna go from really calm and chill around you, because of the friendly vibes and such like cracking jokes and such, to a complete and utter mess

you two are really close as friends and that isn’t something he wants to mess up but he’s definitely gonna confess at some point because he’s not one to bottle his emotions up and hates how weird things are between the two of you now that he’s realized he likes you

in general i see sokka as a mess around whoever he likes, until he comes to terms with the fact that he likes them, and this likely won’t take long, he’s pretty in tune with his emotions

he’s not gonna wanna ask you out at first, in all honesty, i see sokka’s whole confidence thing as a facade, because in actuality he has really low self esteem and genuinely sees himself as the “extra” member of team avatar because he lacks bending and everyone around him is so talented that he sometimes forgets he is literally super smart and makes all the plans that save their lives on the daily

just things you are too good for him, especially if you are a bender

if you start hinting that you like him too, he is initially gonna think it is a joke until you start getting bold and then it’s gonna hit him like everyone hits the cabbage man’s cart

i can see either of you confessing first, if Sokka does, he’s probably gonna be really bashful and flustered about it, but he’s also gonna try and act cool because thats like his trademark

if you confess first, he’s gonna be in shock temporarily, but then he’s gonna jump right into things because you like him BACK omgomgomgomg 

he’s gonna wanna kiss you right after the confession, and it’ll probably backfire because he got really excited and ended up headbutting you and now you have a bruise forming on your head and a very apologetic sokka oops

in general, quickly recognizes his feelings and confesses shortly after, because he just hates the weird tension even if he thinks he’s the only one feeling it, even though hes NOT

during the relationship

so

a really attentive boyfriend, you will never feel neglected, he’s a very clingy person who gets intimate with you all the time, so if you like affection you got it

kissing him is nice, he’s good at it 10/10 recommend, always wants to hold you as close as possible, prefers a hand on your hip/lowerback and another on your face or neck to pull you closer

if you don’t like affection, he’ll express his love in other ways

for example, cooking, i see sokka as someone who can either cook REALLY well, or not at all. there is no in between. 

genuinely just really wants to make you happy

the type to bully you if you’re in a relationship, pls bully him back, humble this man. he’s gonna roast you but he doesn’t really mean it okay, he’s just doesn’t want things to change between you

loves that his best friend is his lover, would not want it any other way

probably forgets to tell the gaang you are dating and like aang and toph are gonna catch you two kissing or smth and sokka’s just gonna be like oh hey guys and they are both like ???

"when did this happen?”

“wym lol”

if you two are together during the war, he’s gonna wanna be by your side like 24/7 because he does not want you to die, like this lowkey stresses him so much that he will subconsciously, when developing battle plans either put you in the safest possible spot or by his side, and its because he has literally lost so many people he’s care for and now he’s distressed

remind him that he matters and is important to the team, because he forget that sometimes and falls into a mood, where he’s all sad and stuff and it just makes you sad so like

tell him he matters, because he does, tell him he’s great even if he can’t bend, and tell him he is a fantastic and brilliant leader, this will serve as an ego boost though so be prepared to humble him

steal his hair ties and do all of us a favor okay, just steal them, burn them because no littering, just make sure he cannot find them! he will walk around with his hair down in confusion, searching for them before he starts the day

speaking of starting the day, you always wake up first, this man is not a morning person and needs his beauty sleep, definitely have a 17 step skin care routine, change my mind, he is big on self care and will make sure you participate with him because he cares about you

speaking of care he knows you so well since you are his s/o so if he notices something is up he will not hesitate to confront you, and will ask if you want solutions or just someone to listen to

prefers solving the problem though

back to mornings, um have fun waking up to sokka with his hair down that sounds HEAVENLY um

mild lok spoilers but sokka ends up chief, and gets involved in politics over time, so he kinda runs out of time for you a bit until he figures out how to organize his time better, then he gets kinda sad, but he still wants to take you out on dates as often as possible ok no more spoilers

so speaking of dates, sokka wants weekly dates, this is a must, does not care if it is a fancy restaurant, cooking at home, or a picnic. he loves picnics most though, and please notice how food is the common factor here

sokka would never cheat on you but if he did he would cheat with food

arguments aren’t rare, but they are mostly over dumb stuff and you both know its dumb stuff so for the most part its a joke, but sometimes someone takes things too far so then apologies are necessary

like actual argument arguments are mostly rare because sokka doesn’t wanna pick fights with you and he’s fairly passive unless he feels really strongly about something

he can be REALLY MEAN THOUGH AND PETTY like wow sokka will go days without talking to you because of a fight

he can and will apologize first when he realizes the toll its taking on your relationship, probably will apologize first

if you catch him being a misogynist put him in his place :)

 he thinks you are hot when you are angry and might pick a fight with you just for that reason, pls make out with him

marriage n’ stuff

im still waiting for someone to explain what weddings are like guys please

anyways he’s gonna realize he wants to marry you when he nearly dies and is like wow life is really short also lets discuss him losing all the important people he’s loved in his life one more time, he does not want to lose you!!!

ever!!!

so he’s gonna nearly die and then be like i need to propose, like now, i cannot die without being married to the literal love of my life so i should do that literally the moment i get home instead of getting medical attention first

yeah he is the smart one, but he lacks common sense, so i hope you got a LOT of common sense. y’all do be sharing a braincell

stops by a ring shop place, and the moment he just feels like he saw the one, price does NOT matter he has purchased it and is now heading home to you

you on the other hand are PANICKING because what do you mean sokka just ran out of the hospital with no explanation and is nowhere to be found katara

what do you mean you thought he would be h e r e

yes katara went over to your house to see if sokka was there and he is not!!!

yet ;)

there is like a manhunt for sokka and he has yet to notice because mans has tunnel vision and as he opens the door to your shared apartment he does not expect to see a crying katara and oh no-

“SOKKA! YOU’RE NOT DEAD?!”

hes like of course im not dead what the hell

you’re seated standing next to Katara trying to console her when you see sokka and wow you are relieved to see he is not dead or kidnapped

“SOKKA DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW WORRIED I WAS-”

lol he’s kissing you to shut you up how cute, now leave katara you are infringing on an extremely pivotal moment of this relationship

honestly seeing you comforting his sister just makes him love you more and he kinda just wants to marry you 10x more now 

you pull away from the kiss looking at him like what are you doing, and katara is like, “Sokka where the hell were you??? you have a stab wound???” and now you’re like WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH

“stabbed? sokka you need medical attention-”

“to answer your question dear sister, i was getting a ring for your hopefully soon to be sister in law.”

“EXCUSE ME?” you are so confused, katara is confused and is now realizing that she was probably not supposed to be here

sokka is already dropping down onto one knee and pulling out the just bought ring as saying, “marry me!” now he’s high on adrenaline and pain has yet to hit him and he’s kinda just sitting there beaming up at you despite the blood seeping out of him at a rapid rate

“im sorry what?” thats katara girl be quiet they are trying to have a MOMENT

anyways you’re like, “sokka. hospital.”

and he’s like, “answer me first” and he’s giving you a weak lil smile as he realizes how stupid he was and he’s about to stand back up but you put a hand on his shoulder and just nod.

now he’s back to beaming so brightly, and he’s putting the ring on your finger and oh no- he’s passed out. is it from excitement or bloodloss? idk

he also might pass out before hearing you answer and then at the hospital you’re kinda sitting there like, “ARE YOU DUMB STUPID OR DUMB. YOU COULD HAVE DIED.”

and he’s like, “not without hearing your answer” <3<3 heart eyes emojis everywhere

alternatively, he is one of few people i could see having a public proposal, with lots of flowers, a band, fireworks, the whole nine yards

he’s gonna want it flashy

something probably goes wrong and he nearly cries but you say yes anyways and he throws a party after

anyways the actual wedding is preferably public, but if you want a more private one then he does what you want because he loves you most

he is gonna be very active in wedding planning, wants to try the foods and desserts and appetizers and everything especially. wants to do the weird stuff like picking napkins with you and flower arrangements and all that stuff i think this happens idk someone please inform me

this stuff just makes him fall in love with you more tbh, and he’s just so so sure he wants to marry you 

his vows will make HIM cry, like he is going to cry when he sees you walk down the aisle, he’s going to cry when he reads his own vows, and he’s going to cry when you read your vows, it doesn’t matter if they are lowkey bad

makes jokes in his vows because he is a nerd but can barely reach the punchline because he is in tears

fr though he is just so happy to be marrying you and wow you look REALLY GOOD in whatever you are wearing um damn okay you really went off

married life with sokka is elite ngl, mans cooks for you, he probably cleans sometimes, but otherwise chores are fairly divided 

he spoils you

overall sokka is a real great s/o and he gives you everything you deserve and yeah marry sokka 2020 everyone deserves a sokka 

taglists[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via askbox or replies]

atla:  @bubblebars @jada-cleo @Art-flirt @the-deli-meat @wemissyou3000 @ajediherowitchrunner 

sokka: @iammello

[rusty-k]

A Theory About the Saint of Duty

[HTN/TLT SPOILERS]

Hey TLT people--

There was a reddit thread about the Saint of Duty the other day (link), and I commented some G1deon thoughts of mine that’ve been brewing in my head for a while. I figured I’d bring them to the tumblr tag to open up some discussion and see if anyone else buys this theory, or honestly just to spread some G1deon love. (I imprint on minor characters; it’s a curse.)

This is more or less copied from my reddit comment word-for-word, but here’s some general thought on Gideon the First’s personality, and why I have a theory that he might’ve lobotomized himself like Harrow:

G1deon character thoughts

G1deon as we know him in HtN is likely very different from the man he must've been 10,000 years ago. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he changed significantly between the start of the Wake affair and the events of book 2.

More so than any of the other Lyctors, Gideon and Pyrrha seemed to have had this strong synergy going on. Unlike most necros, Gideon is a buff beef jerky man, and we see two rapiers in G&P's room. The winnowing/construct trial is also referred to as "Pyrrha's trial," which has always struck me as a curious detail and suggests to me that Pyrrha knew more about necromancy than cavs generally do. We know that the saintly epithets refer to the cavs, in general, but I don't think that was exactly the case for G&P; based on the previously stated, I believe they were both equally dutiful people, willing to throw themselves into each other's studies and share each other's skills.

Aug and Mercy were forced to rush their Lyctorization process because of their reckless cavs, and G1deon was next, but the fact that Pyrrha compartmentalized suggests they were closer to figuring it out than Aug and Mercy were--which I think is greatly due to the harmony of their relationship.

We know from what the other Lyctors & John have said that Gid loved and respected Pyrrha deeply. I wouldn't be surprised if the ferocity with which he threw himself into his saintly work over the 10,000 years emerged--at least partially, if not primarily--from his devotion to her. There's Pyrrha, the most spectacular cav and an all-around badass, and Gideon--having taken her to fuel his ascension--acting as John's attack dog with an intensity that would make her sacrifice worthwhile.

It's difficult to gauge how much Gideon actually enjoyed any of this; John seems to think he did, but I wouldn’t trust John for shit, and I'm sure John's understanding of G1d is heavily skewed in his own favor.

I think it's also important to consider Pyrrha's side of this story as it relates to G1deon’s current state, as well as the Wake affair. Her actions raise several questions. First of all, how long did it take for her to realize that she could take control of his body? How exactly did it happen, the first time? And how aware is Gideon? Does he have any inkling at all? Is there something more to his forgetfulness, something purposeful?

I have to imagine that in any case, Pyrrha must have gone through a lot over those 10,000 years. 10,000 years of odd sensory deprivation, which was probably hell for a fiery badass like P. 10,000 years of watching Gideon put up with John's bullshit, of watching the other Lyctors die off one-by-one and accumulate a host of mental, physical, and emotional scars. I'm convinced that Pyrrha's relationship with "duty" changed over the course of the years as she watched from this disembodied perspective, and that her "treachery" against John (her affair with Wake & possibly feeding intel to the BoE) was just a natural progression of that change.

When Wake factors in, I'd bet good money that the driving factor in both Pyrrha and Gideon's attraction to her is that she reminds them both of Pyrrha. Hell, Pyrrha even says this outright: "She was the most dangerous woman I'd ever met who wasn't me." I imagine that P's attraction to Wake, beyond this cool display of cockiness, also emerged from a sort of nostalgia--maybe Wake reminds her of what life used to be when she had a body, when she could fight and command, when she had a cause to occupy her energy. On G1d's side, he sees a woman who's dedicated and dutiful, even if it's for an enemy faction, and a woman who would undeniably make one hell of a cavalier (I think someone says this in HtN, although I'm forgetting who, so correct me if I’m wrong). I'm sure there's nostalgia in it for him, too.

Then, there's elephant in the room: Wake's fiery red hair and Pyrrha's name, meaning "flame-colored." I'm convinced that at least some of the similarities were physical. And at the bottom of it all is the inherent sexiness of finding a worthy opponent who's also hot. Lol.

Gideon Prime Lobotomy Time(?)

Here's where things get squirrelly for me, and the main reason why I have a theory that G1d's current state might be partially self-inflicted.

G&P were having discrete affairs with Wake, which inherently brings up logistical questions. First of all, how? And how exactly did Wake come to "kiss" Gideon "before she realized what they were?" How long were the durations of time in which Pyrrha kept his body under her control? In any case, after Wake & Gideon initiated their leg of the affair, it continued throughout the two years up until Gideon Jr.'s birth, which implies that Gideon Prime had some agency and willfulness in all of it. It's difficult to imagine the permanently-spaced-out-thousand-yard-stare man we know in HtN actively participating in such an entanglement.

Of course, I’ll acknowledge that it's entirely possible that I'm wrong, and that Wake just jumps his bones when she feels like it, and he's like "ok I guess," so take this as you will; but I'd like to put forth the suggestion that G1d's memory loss and overall lack of lucidity might be self-inflicted, to the tune of Harrow's lobotomy. We don't know how aware Gideon is of Pyrrha's presence, but it does seem to be the case that Lyctors having an awareness of the cav is dangerous for the cav. Being an accomplished necromancer, I'm sure Gideon was/is a smart man. Pyrrha mentions that she was "able to go underground" from him, but what if Gideon started to catch on to Pyrrha's presence through the double-affair? What if Wake let something slip? What if the thing that Wake didn't realize about them was the fact that Pyrrha's survival depends on Gideon's lack of awareness?

What if he lobotomized himself at some point, after catching onto Pyrrha's presence, at the expense of his sanity?

What really strikes me is the post-incinerator scene (HtN ch.31, pg. 292 in the hardcover):

The Saint of Duty turned his body toward you. He was clutching his rapier; but it was idle ... His eyebrows were very slightly drawn together, a sort of exhausted crinkle. He looked at you, and he said in a voice you had known since you were eight years old: "I sometimes--forget."

It was the tone--clinical, enamelled, half-defensive, half-endangered--the tone of someone admitting a final fraily. It was familiar because you had used it yourself. Understand I am insane.

It's his quiet resolution that does it for me; he knows something's missing, and he's accepted it. He's being set up as a parallel to Harrow in this particular moment, and it just makes me wonder if the parallel goes beyond his understanding of his own “insanity” and extends to the means by which he has become "insane." 

Pyrrha's already being set up as a parallel to Gideon Jr., both in terms of her formerly-skewed sense of duty and her compartmentalization, so I think this sort of dual-parallel between G1d and Harrow would work nicely, if only from a meta perspective.

In short, I think Gideon the First's feelings on everything that happened are complex, fraught. I think "duty" is what defined much of his personality, and I think what we see of him now is the result of split senses of duty having torn him apart:

he's torn between his devotion to Pyrrha (and by extension, ironically, his devotion to John) and his interest in (and perhaps love for) Wake;

torn between John's command to kill Harrow and whatever it is that caused him to pull punches (I'm guessing a combination of basic decency and solidarity); and

at the end of it all, he's quietly accepting of his own "frailty," understanding that the current situation is the shitty result of everything that's happened over the past myriad, and that there's likely no way to set himself straight, even though his shortcomings put him in direct conflict with the man he's "supposed to be," according to this awful religion, and according to what others think of him.

Anyway, for those who’ve stuck around, that’s all I have to say for now! I’m just so fascinated by the Saint of Duty/the Pyrwakeon story that’s going on behind the scenes; there’s such an understated intensity to it, and honestly, it didn’t even hit me until months after my first read-through. 

I’m curious to hear what other people are thinking, too!

[btsandvmin]

Ask: Reply - 2021.03.25

Time to go through some of your asks! I am glad you seemed to like the new format and I’ll keep it up for now. (If you have any suggestions for improvement feel free to comment.) I got a lot this time and with pretty varying topics, so it took a while for me to write this even if it still seems pretty sloppy. I also got two asks I just answer briefly but didn’t want to include due to the topics. Anyways, let’s get to it. :)

Topics:

Ask 1 - Anon share about shipping Ji/hope and becoming a Vminie Ask 2 - Reasons to ship Vmin and no leaks of a relationship (+ rumors ask) Ask 3 - Stress over my analysis “making people delusional” Ask 4 - Tae/kook and Ji/kook being big ships (+t/k shippers ask) Ask 5 - Not enjoying a bond because of it’s shippers Ask 6 - Vmin videocall while getting make-up. Ask 7 - Vmin shaking hands Ask 8 - Wheesa from Mamamoo Ask 9 - Any wholesome fic recs?

(I got a few more left, but the post was getting long, so I’ll save them for next time. I promise I’ll answer them in my next ask post.)

Ask 1 - Anon share about shipping Ji/hope and becoming a Vminie

Hi and thank you for sharing your story, I always find it interesting to read how people found their way to Vmin and in particular if they shipped something else first. Don’t worry about it being long, it was a fun read. :)

I see what you mean with there being “something about Jimin” and I actually think he is so shippable with all BTS members. He truly works so well and is so sweet and cute with all of them. I also think Ji/hope (as many hyung x maknae line ships) is a very underrated ship. And they used to be very big on the fanservice on stage in the early years too so they definitely have some “questionable moments” in that sense as well. 

I think the way Jimin express his love for all his members is amazing and has probably lead to all of them expressing their love a lot more opnely. Think of how Jimin started their tradition of giving gifts for their birthdays for example. Honestly, all BTS ships are good ships but I really think Jimin’s way of being so openly affectionate just makes all his ships very soft and full of love. But yes, more love to Ji/hope please, because they have a lot of great moments. 

It’s interesting how you say you were affected by the platonic label Vmin has. I really think it’s very strong and works very well on a majority of the fandom and on most people that don’t dig a bit deeper and question what Vmin have actually done. That being said, a lot of the surface level things for all ships are great, and I do think you really have to deep dive into a ship to get the more actually questionable moments a lot of the time. And I think with Vmin this hasn’t been done so much, so people might be surprised when they actually do look closer.

I also like how the lipstick moment and the kissing the doll moments made you end up questioning Vmin. For me who has looked at Vmin for so long these were just more examples of things I had already seen, but I am sure many newer fans (just like you did) would react and look twice at these moments. I’ll tell you though, these moments are just barely scratching the surface of questionable things that Vmin have done.

I am glad you like my blog and think the things I say makes sense, though I do want to be clear and say it’s just me guessing and making theories. I am glad they make sense, but I could still be wrong. :P Thank you again for sharing your own story, and I hope you will keep on enjoying Vmin and my blog. <3

Ask 2 - Reasons to ship Vmin and no leaks of a relationship (rumors)

I mean, I think I have shared my reasons to ship Vmin in pretty much every post I have ever done on this blog. There’s a lot of them after all... But if you haven’t already I would suggest checking out my posts 10 Reasons to ship Vmin and 10 more reasons to ship Vmin. 

I stress the point that Vmin could easily be platonic but simply extremely close all the time as well, so we could definitely be reading too much into things. Of course this goes for all shippers (or rather believers, there is a difference after all). I suspect your question might not be about shipping but rather if Vmin could be real and what reasons I might have to think that is possible. You can check my post Shipping vs Believing if you want to know how I view things very differently when it comes to simply shipping and anything that goes beyond shipping).

As for what makes Vmin stand out as more likely compared to other ships I guess the main things I take into account are: The songs, Vmin being careful (including friendzoning and other members’ reactions to them), their sometimes contradicting behavior (like them being soulmates but seemingly being awkward with some things or not being together as much as we might expect etc.), the way they do some very romantic looking things and have increased those behaviors over time and then just a lot of interesting moments and their close relationship in general. Also, soulmates is not a label to underestimate.

As for leaks I think you have to ask the same question for all idols, and all relationships. I mean, how many leaks of any BTS relationship have we gotten? I don’t think the guys have lived in celibate for their whole careers. Not to mention a lot of idols date secretly, and for LGBT+ idols I am sure they would be even more careful. But at the same time people also would likely be less suspicious unless they do something very obvious. I mean, think of all the things we have seen BTS do openly. I also think we have to remember that if it’s something that the fans doesn’t want to know or believe it also is less likely to get spread. For example that an idol they love would be LGBT+... because heteronormativity and homophobia is not to be taken lightly either. I also think you underestimate how many secrets insiders in all entertainment industries are keeping. I am sure many idols are pretty open with their dating to many, but it doesn’t get spread because there is a risk with being the whistle blower as well. Perhaps in particular with exposing someone’s sexuality which could ruin their whole career... And any person trying to ruin BTS’s reputation at this point might honestly get lynched by all of Korea.

I also know some rumors (not about sexuality) even gets pushed away as spread by antis etc. So sometimes even when rumors leak they get shut down. In the end there are a lot of rumors floating around, many that contradict each other as well, but I don’t think lack of rumors has to mean it is impossible for it to be happening. Again, many in the LGBT+ community aren’t even out to their own family and manages to hide that... We don’t know enough about how two members in a relationship would be or how open they would be to begin with. I suspect in the case of Vmin they would be very careful and only a select few would know. 

There could also be leaks, but they don’t reach the mainstream fandom. Like how I learned about the problems and disbandment talk back in the summer of 2018. Some things definitely do get leaked, but it is also very difficult to know if they are real or not until confirmed.

But I do think if a couple is real and they are pretty open with it, eventually they would either be in an obvious glass closet or there would be rumors or even confirmation. Because if a couple isn’t careful to begin with then they clearly risk exposure and likely wouldn’t mind too much to be outed.

It’s definitely a complicated topic, and a whole world we as fans don’t know enough about to even come to any real conclusions. So don’t worry about not knowing, it’s not like we as outsider can easily know how things work as they are likely even different for each company, group, couple, individual etc.

I also want to adress one ask I got but won’t include, about a particular sasaeng rumor ((part of ask: there was news going around by saesung (idk if I spelled it right sorry)...)). I only have two things to say, because I don’t want to spread any of these rumors or want any of you to look for these things.

1. Rumors are rumors, we have no idea what sources they come from and many times they also contradict each other. Often they can be spread by antis of some kind with an agenda to hurt or worry. It’s better to simply pay them no attention most of the time.

2. If the rumors are ridiculous in nature, as the one you asked about, it’s even better to not spread it further. In this case it would go against the personalities of the members and against their own words. It would mean BTS lied to us straight to our faces about something there is no reason to lie about, and thus doesn’t have any reason to happen to begin with. Be open of course, but also think critically. Don’t worry in vain, just try to ignore stuff like this.

Ask 3 - Stress over my analysis “making people delusional”

Thank you a lot @phantomavenger​, your message really soothes me. This is a dilemma I’ve struggled with a lot over the years actually. If sharing stuff and theories about Vmin might not be good, no matter if I am right or wrong. Because if Vmin are together I am basically working to exposing them against their will and if I am wrong I might be a factor in people believing in something that isn’t real, which might end up hurting them. 

I usually end up thinking that maybe it’s better for things to come from me with a more nuanced take than that someone else finds it and it spreads in a more uncontrolled and delusional way right away. If that makes sense? I know this might sound very conceited, but since I know my words are being spread I at least hope to make people understand the importance of not jumping to conclusions and sounding too sure of anything we don’t really know. Again, a lot of ships have believers, and that says something. We should all be careful both for our own sake and for the privacy of the boys. Normalizing delusional behavior is what usually leads to worse and worse things being done “in the name of the ship” as well and I just don’t want that from Vminies. The trickle down effect of people misunderstanding or twisting my words is also a bit scary.  There are also so many shipper at this point that I think most things I point out will eventually likely be pointed out or noticed by someone else anyway, so...

But you are right, I can’t take responsibility for people taking my things out of context or getting convinced even though I try to tell them not to. In the end I write analysis on Vmin because I don’t think anything I find is enough to actually prove anything (this goes for all ships btw). I’ll share my analysis and with it I will also have many reasons on why shipping real people and “knowing a ship is real” is so much more difficult than many seem to think. 

Here’s a sneak peak in case anyone is interested. 

Don’t worry, I’ll try to edit it and make it more concise. Thank you again for your kind words and reassurance. :)

Ask 4 - Tae/kook and Ji/kook being big ships

Hi, and wecome to the fandom! I hope you will enjoy being an ARMY and keep liking Vmin. :3

I answered recently about big ships (Ask: Reply - 2021.03.18 Ask 3 - What makes a ship big?) and I’ve talked about popularity regarding these certain ships before as well in Why do you think Vmin get so brozoned by the fandom?

First I would like to say that “vibes” to me doesn’t really say much... All shippers clearly have their own perception of the members and their dynamics, otherwise everyone would ship the same thing. That being said I think projecting is part of many shippers’ reasons to ship and definitely think it’s part in why JK ships in general are very popular. Not just within BTS but for straight ships as well.

I don’t think there is ever one simple reason for why someone ships something, and same for why they might think a pair is actually together. Me might all have our own reasons for why we like a certain ship. For me all ships in BTS have good enough chemistry and dynamics to be shipped and I don’t think there is anything weird with those ships being popular. Especially since they’ve basically been popular since the start for their own reasons and then simply kept growing.

In short I think these things might play a big part in why some ships get bigger than others:

1. Projecting and falling for a ship similar to your own preference in a relationship 2. Amount of moments, and type of moments. 3. Type of relationship and the fandom view. Some dynamics will draw people in more even if it’s only percieved dynamics and stereotyping. Sexual tension and complicated drama is more “fun” than “friends to lovers” trope. 4. How popular they are. Big ships will grow bigger faster. More exposure and material by fans might make people find big ships easier. 5. Room for analysis. Honestly, if a ship seems “complicated” it might be more interesting to dig deeper into. So when people see analysis of ji/kook or tae/kook they get interested and might get more involved. Basically if analysis are being made it will make people more invested, and for Vmin it’s not that people can’t analyze them, but rather that not many have. So you won’t find as many fans deep diving and looking harder at Vmin compared to many other ships.

Again, ships might be popular for many different reasons, but I don’t think size of a ship really is that important. Just ship and let others ship what they like as well.

I also want to briefly adress an ask I got but that I won’t post, because I got yet another ask about Tae/kook. I’m sorry I won’t include the ask but I definitely agree with your comment to “Look at V as an individual person, not part of a ship”. This should be obvious and apply for all shippers. 

But I do want to say that I don’t think shipping a particular pair is the problem, it’s how you do it. I personally see no problem with shipping anything as long as it only is shipping, which is a fantasy. I ship Chen x Baekhyun from EXO and Chen is married... I simply enjoy their dynamic as a fantasy. Just like how I enjoy characters in a book or movie I am aware it isn’t real. I mostly see shipping as a problem when you let it affect how you behave towards people with different opinions or if you push it onto the people themselves which is never ok (even if it would be real). Of course there are many examples of shippers taking things too far, but I don’t think the ship in itself is the problem, but again what those shippers might do. So yeah, I condone any shipper who crosses the line and push things onto the members, but I don’t think shipping in itself is bad.

Ask 5 - Not enjoying a bond because of it’s shippers

Hi, and first of all I am sorry you are feeling like this. I think sadly this is quite a common problem, and I am not sure I have any good answers for you. But I’ll try. I do recognize this feeling though I have mostly felt it in other fandoms where shippers of “rival” ships got me so annoyed it was difficult to not just see the shippers’ reactions every time they had a moment. Which made it less fun and sometimes hard to enjoy their moments even though I would have usually. What I did in that case was actually stop engaging in the fandom all together for a while, to take a step back as many of my own fellow shippers’ negativity about the other shippers and their theories affected me as well (btw this was a fictional ship so it’s quite different in many ways).

It’s sad when shipping affect us this much, but it can be hard when we invest so much time and get so much enjoyment out of it. I am not sure how bad you feel, but I think when you feel conflicted (possibly cognitive dissonance) when coming across ji/kook content it might have gone a bit too far (I talk about it a bit in this post) and be too attached to the idea of your own ship. If so you might want to consider taking a step back and engage with the fandom less and just focus on enjoying the actual content we get. If you simply react due to shippers and don’t actually care if ji/kook are happy together (or even would be real) I would simply suggest trying to stay away from those people. Sadly over analyzing the members happens a lot and will likely not stop anytime soon. I know it’s not that easy, but I don’t really have any better advice. Try to find places you can be while feeling happy, or take a break if you have to. Distance and time might help at times and I know many people who take breaks from their fandoms when they get too much for them and they get less enjoyment from being part of the community.

For me I did also have a period when looking at Ji/kook made me a bit annoyed or even sad. It was during a period when I was extra sensitive and wasn’t feeling very good so even small things affected me more than they should. But it had less to do with Ji/kook and more to do with consuming very toxic narratives from Ji/kook shippers that basically included Vmin being fake or played up. The idea of Vmin being fake hurts me much more than any other ship being real. Consuming a lot of quite toxic Ji/kook theories made me think Ji/kook being real would equal Vmin being fake and thus seeing Ji/kook hurt a bit.

What worked for me was realizing that this narrative makes no actual sense and there is no point in me worrying about Vmin being fake. And if they would be I know my reaction would simply be to walk away as I wouldn’t enjoy BTS if they lie about things there is no reason to lie about. This took away the feeling of being insecure, and I can be happy with just knowing Vmin are soulmates, no matter what kind. 

I also stopped looking up analysis of other ships and simply keep in mind that even if other ships are real it doesn’t change the bond between Vmin. I know enough about other ships to see their weird moments and to know I shouldn’t be certain about my own ship. I can also see what other shippers might see in a moment on my own at this point, so I do see how seeing moments might make you just think of what theories it might lead to. For me it was about changing my own mindset about other ships vs Vmin and to simply not consume content that was toxic or made me feel bad. Basically, even if Ji/kook or any other ship would be real it wouldn’t bother me as I know what Vmin has is still incredibly special and genuine.

To me this worked, but every person has their own limits. I would suggest backing off from consuming shipping content and simply look at how much the actual content shows the love between the boys. And also if possible try to get with the idea that even if another ship is real, that isn’t neccessarily bad. I would be happy for any ship if it was real at this point as long as they make each other happy, and I don’t feel threatened by other ships because of it.

As for shippers being bad or toxic, sadly with size and confidence it seems to happen a lot. I simply don’t bother with antis or over analyzing shippers of any kind that put very negative narratives on the boys. I know there will always be some bad ones in all bigger fandoms, so I try to not let it affect me too much. In fact I feel more hurt when my own ship communities engage in toxic behavior as that is harder to ignore and walk away from.

Thank you for sharing your struggles and I hope I could help maybe even a little. I know it’s not easy and as you say the guilt is also hard to deal with. I know I might have strayed away from your actual issue, but it’s a very difficult topic for me too. But at least your worry shows you truly do care for the members and don’t want to see them in a negative light. Just try to do what you need to do to feel better, even if it might be hard to do. Also thank you so much for liking my blog. <3

Ask 6 - Vmin videocall while getting make-up.

I am going to be frank here, this is a moment where fans most likely saw incorrectly and then some still spread it as a Vmin moment. I know people debated about it when it happened and I am sure people still have different opinions on it. But for me since it seems pretty clear the screen corresponds with how Tae moves the phone and takes a picture of himself. I think it was on selfie mode, not that it was a video call. This image I found might be edited because it look very much like Jimin, but it could also be accidental that this screenshot really really looked like him. I know it really looks like Jimin and the paleness of the screen makes it difficult to know... But if you watch the video in it’s original size and quality you see it’s Tae pretty clearly.

The video is  [BANGTAN BOMB] Jin's Sunglasses Collection in Hong Kong - BTS (방탄소년단). You can watch it around 2.10. Sorry for bursting the bubble. But hey, at least we know Vmin actually do facetime each other despite how much they see each other. :)

Ask 7 - Vmin and shaking hands

Vmin really are extra with the shaking (and holding/touching) hands, aren’t they? To be fair I think they do this quite a lot with other members as well, but it’s still definitely a Vmin thing. ;)

As for Brooklyn 99 I have watched clips, but not the full show, so I know who Holt and Kevin are... But I didn’t know they did that. That’s really sweet. Though obviously it sucks they can’t just be like any other couple and would have to make hand shaking their public display of affection (though I suppose it could just be their personalities as well? Like I said I don’t know the show too well.)

Funny but I actually wrote a little drabble Vmin part of something similar at one point... Though it wasn’t about shaking hands but instead fist bumps, as Vmin was doing that a lot at that time. I just find the idea of Vmin making anything normal into something cute and intimate, like an inside joke, very endearing. Thank you for sharing. :)

Ask 8 - Wheesa from Mamamoo

Thank you for sharing this cute moment. :) I really do like Mamamoo and from the few moments I have seen with them they seem really sweet with each other. Also I love Twit, it’s such a bop! 

Wouldn’t it be amazing if Vmin followed suit and Jimin appears in Tae’s MV for KTH1? :3

Ask 9 - Any wholesome fic recs?

Hi and thank you for your kind words. :3 English isn’t my native language and I struggle with being articulate sometimes, so your comment makes me really happy. :)

As for fics I am sorry, I have two big fic recs and I feel most of my favorites are included in those. (Huge Vmin fic rec and Vmin fic rec - Canon compliant) I know they don’t have any indications of rating etc. but for now looking through these lists to check if they fit what you like is what I have. If anyone has any particularly wholesome BTS fics to rec feel free to add them in the replies. :) Thank you and sorry for not coming with any actual recs in this reply. 

And that will conclude this post as it was starting to get a little long. :) I do have some asks left, and I’ll try to answer them as soon as I can with my next post. Thank you all for your interesting questions and shared stories. I hope you found this post enjoyable, or at least worth a read, as it included some pretty heavy topics.

[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z BX (cix)

🔅requested by: @bruisedbananas thanks 👀a whole lot👀 for requesting this hehe🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

super fucking snuggly and happy. he takes great care when cleaning everywhere not to neglect you too, so he often innocently showers with you (even if it’s annoying that you can’t both get water at the same time) and takes the sheets off the bed when you’re doing your night routine. he thinks sharing water is a romantic activity (in a jokey but also not jokey kind of way) so that’s always a thing too.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on you, he likes your jawline and ears (is this just me being hopeful?) did you guys see that dance video thingy where he went straight for seunghun’s ear to kiss it 👀🤚🏼. this man loveeessss kissing and biting your ears and seeing the effect it has on you.

on him, he loves his eyes/eyebrows. they’re so expressive and let you know EXACTLY what he wants. he might get a little shy telling you, but he knows that you know just from looking into his eyes. he loves that they have that effect on everyone xo.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

anything that will make a mess. doesn’t really want to finish inside you unless you fully agree to it and you’ve spoken about it. he feels it’s much safer and a lot more satisfying to cum on your face or on your back. he likes that way it looks, when he looks at it, it’s a reminder of how he felt and usually makes him wanna go for another round straight after.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he prefers getting head to actual vaginal or anal sex. not that he’s selfish, he will always pleasure you. he just prefers the way it feels, the way you look, the eye contact brings him closer to the edge than eye contact during “actual” sex. god he just loves wet sloppy head and fucking your pretty little face until you ✨cry✨.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i think he’s had 1 or 2 partners but he’s not all that experienced. like he maybe did it once with each one. but he receives head every week because he can- he knows what to do when you suck him off lol.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes doggy but nothing will ever, EVER beat good old missionary. he likes “accidentally” leaving his chain on and watching it hit you as he fucks you. wow he’s so kind. in this position, he can also give you as much attention as you wish and has easy access to all of you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i wouldn’t say humorous but definitely smiley. he loves you, he loves doing naughty things with you, he loves making you his, of course he’s gonna be happy.

when he’s in one of his super horny moods though… an expression change is very unlikely, let alone a positive, happy, smiley one.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

tends to just leave it and just go natural. sometimes he’ll shave completely but he doesn’t really like it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

it depends entirely on his mood. most sex is sloppy and sleepy but romantic and soft, with lots of praise and “i love you”s thrown around.

some sex is distant, with very little care for romance or softness. this is quite rare, but when it happens it’s very intense and unforgettable.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

probably does this quite frequently to relieve stress and just idk escape? usually does it at night when everyone else is asleep because he can get a little 🤫groany🤫 but like… in a good way.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

bdsm- knife play- i explained this a little more in the “risk” part but he lovesss the vulnerability this creates. the trust you’ve given him to do this makes him feel more connected to you romantically too. i mention this in the “volume” part but he likes to say nothing during knife play, behaving a little crazy just for your fantasy.

praise (giving)- when he’s in one of his soft moods, he loves to tell you how good you’re making him feel. his favourite thing to tell you is “there’s no one better at x than you”. he wants to make you feel like it’s all worth it and that he’s never going to leave you because you’re so good (but not in a manipulative way, like he’s serious about it).

gagging 👅- he gets off to you gagging on his dick because it really brings it home that he’s THAT big. he also likes makes you suck on his fingers, especially while he’s fucking you, so sometimes they accidentally (on purpose) go a little too far down and would you look at that, you’re gagging again.

maybe also daddy kink 👉🏼👈🏼 but he doesn’t wanna be basic so he never lets on.

urophilia- ok don’t hate me bc i wrote this (bc we do not kink shame in this house) but i do think 😳 he’d be more than down for showering you in his piss. of course this has to be something you’re into and comes into play only when you’ve discussed it a whole bunch and when you’re both in the mood to do it. he’s not just gonna piss on you for funsies.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

at the dorms in his shared ;) room. maybe you’ll get caught, maybe you won’t 🤷🏻‍♀️. he likes both of you being comfortable too so somewhere like his bed is preferable (he won’t use their beds tho that’s not his style)

also likes public toilets but only clean ones lol bc dirty ones can really dampen the mood. restaurant toilets 👀👀 after you’ve put your hand on his crotch 👀👀 after HE put his hand on your thigh when he knew you were horny even before you left the house 👀👀

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

pretty much everything. you could do something completely innocent and he’d be like “what are you doing? are you doing that on purpose?” and ur like no i’m just ?? washing the dishes. but he’s too turned on by this point to care about your response anyway. most likely in these instances, if you’re not up for it, he can contain himself or takes it elsewhere to deal with it alone

when you lick your lips or bite them… that’s the thing that gets him going the most. in that moment, he just wants to feel your lips wrapped around him until he busts all over your face.

he also gets really turned on when you laugh and smile at him but he’s yet to work out if that’s a sexual thing or not

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i said he likes gagging you with his dick and his fingers but he would never take is as far as making you throw up. a real big turn off, even if he’s never experienced it he knows he doesn’t like it. of course he’d help clean up if it did happen (if he could stomach it) but he’d never do it on purpose and all sexual activity would stop there for the time being.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

as i said before he likes nothing more than being sucked off. he likes putting his hand under your chin or the back of your head and forcing your head down further. he’s quite verbal when his dick is getting sucked but he’s sick of telling you to look at him so he makes you look at him by putting his hands on either side of your head and tilting it up occasionally.

his skills with his tongue are no fucking joke. he could be down there for just 30 seconds sometimes and you’ve already cum over his face. it makes him super happy when you get giggly and excited when he goes to eat you out.

he understands that some people don’t really like to receive, so he’ll only do it if you want him to, but after he’s finished you’ll be wanting him to go back down on you again and again.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

i think he would be quite sloppy ngl. so he doesn’t really have a set pace, just a happy medium for himself. he can get quite rough when he’s not tired, especially when he’s about to cum.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he likes the risk factor of a quickie in say public toilets for example, but the quickie itself doesn’t really do much for him. unless of course, you’ve teased him enough to only last those few minutes (but the teasing is more likely to be the other way around wink wink)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

with the right person, yes. he doesn’t want you to feel obligated to accept whatever he wants to do so he doesn’t experiment that much, but he’d like to. i think he’d like to bring bdsm into the bedroom but only if you’re 100% okay with it.

talking to eve makes me think he likes knives YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME?! like he’d love to show you the blunt knife, blindfold you, and then gently drag it across your skin. of course this would take a lot of practice to perfect but he thinks it would be worth it for you if you get stimulated by knives.

he kinda likes the idea of getting caught too. like if it actually happened he’d probably be mortified but the possibility of one of the other members walking in on him fucking you ugh he loves it. kinda thinks he could teach people how to fuck you right if they ever caught you too but is NOT prepared for that to happen lmao. also not prepared to share you either :)

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

2 rounds. he gets turned on thinking back on what just happened and wants it again almost immediately. byounggon sex god me thinks. like no other man hehe.

although he doesn’t last too long the second time. his stamina is probably cut by 5 minutes and there is far less foreplay involved.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

not really a fan of toys. would much rather see you get off to him and him alone. i lowkey think he would get jealous if you used a toy lol. would go to the extent of hiding all your toys and acting oblivious when you couldn’t find them. “oh well, i’ll guess you’ll just have to use this instead”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

a whole lot. A WHOLE LOT. and he realises it. like i said, his eyes do all the talking, even if he is teasing you, you know what’s about to happen anyway. he’s probably gonna toy with you and tease you even before foreplay, just so you beg for even the slightest touch. he’s got you wrapped around his little finger, but it’s only fair since you have him wrapped around your little finger.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s actually not too loud, except for when he cums. at that point, he’s groaning and almost whimpering. sometimes he does it as a warning to make you stop sucking his dick because he doesn’t wanna drag your head away when your mouth feels so good.

during intense sessions, he’s silent during sex. both you and him agree that it adds to this “crazy guy” persona that he takes on and it stimulates you both a lot. you being the only one moaning can make you feel a little insecure, a little vulnerable, and it’s something you both enjoy in the moment.

for less intense sessions, he will sprinkle a little bit of dirty talk and praise because ur doing good and he wants you to know that he likes what you’re doing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he leaned down a little, his length naturally coming out of your mouth.

“kiss me” he growled. you sat up a little, lips meeting his for the nth time that night. he pulled away abruptly and replaced his lips with his dick once again.

“open” he pried your mouth open with the tip and looked down at you in admiration. “how much are you gonna take this time?” he asked, smirking.

“all of it” you managed to muffle out.

you felt his hand come to your chin, firmly grabbing it and forcing your head down further. he always tells you he’s going to be gentle, but the only gentle thing you can feel in his thumb stroking your cheek absentmindedly. you’re afraid to mention it in case it stops.

“i’d like to see you try” he responded between subtle groans.

you’d been trying for a few minutes, yet you could only take half, and by now he could see it wasn’t working, time for a new method. he pulled away from your mouth and hinted that you should lie on the bed, which you did so immediately.

“turn over” he demanded “and have your head over this side” you patted the edge of the bed. you lay on your back, head dangling over the side, waiting for him.

“you might cry” he warned, before attempting to put the entirety of his dick down your throat. you gagged and he backed away, pleased with himself.

“again” he warned, repeating the action. “you’re taking my cock so well”. he’d done it, you’d taken it all, multiple times. he quickened his pace, your throat already feeling sore.

soon, he completely forgot about warning you, you were too dazed to register it anyway. there was spit all over your face, all over the bed surrounding you, all over him, who was a few seconds away from cumming. he managed to pull away from your mouth in time, releasing his cum all over your naked upper half.

“look at the mess here” he groaned “you’re such a naughty little girl” he said while making his way around the bed, getting ready to give you the best treatment you’d ever receive.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

👀 okay so first of all he’s in cix soooo we all know that they’re ALL blessed.

i think he’d be just a little over average length but girthy as FUCK. he likes using the phrase “stretch you out” because he knows his dick is phat lol.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

when he’s with you, his brain doesn’t immediately go to sex, but he is constantly horny (like most people let’s be real). he’s down to do it when ever you are, it’s less about when he wants it and more about when he can have it (do u get me i feel like that was v broad lol)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he REALLY wants to stay awake and cuddle with you but he’s tired. like super tired. as soon as his head hits the pillow he’s out like a light.

i'd just like to clarify that i think he can switch between hard dom and soft dom, that’s why there’s not one real heavy focus in this (not that there always has to be roles anyway ofc). but either way he’s definitely a dom and he’s almost always one for dom/sub sex (wth is the phrase for that omfg)

[cuinnamonbun]

The brothers being accidentally in love with the Muslim even though they can’t be with them... would they lowkey convince the MC or would they sulk lol

(Say if it goes for both ways, MC is a hopeless romantic lowkey lmao)

OOF. So much angst. This one is a real brain teaser, I had to read SOO many tragedy poetry and fics to get the feeling so excuse the sentimental writing LMAO. A bit of warning though, I feel as though the brothers are OOC in this which is seriously messing me up, but I didn’t want to leave you bare-handed!

I feel like this HC requires a bit of context in order for people to understand why I wrote the brothers’ reactions the way I did. So I’d like to iterate the fact that I, too, am a hopeless romantic and I definitely believe love can change even the most difficult man. I’ve always had this HC in the Obey Me! universe that every creature is fallible and that the brothers, once fallen, are now much more vulnerable to these new emotions than when they were angels since they’re no longer bound to the service of God y’know? 

So with that in mind, onwards to the HC!!

p/s: I’ll post the little brothers’ reactions soon, hope you liked this :)

How the Brothers React to Accidentally Falling in Love with a Devout Muslim MC (Big Brothers)

Lucifer

At first, this man will pursue MC for not-so-wholesome gains (cough corruption kink cough). Lucifer is a very decisive man. He knows what he wants and unashamedly goes after it and he will stop at nothing until it’s rightfully his

But in his pursuit, I could see him actually, really, really falling in love with MC

It’s their pure, kind soul that attracted him initially as with all the other demons, but the more time he spends with them, the more he gets sucked in until all he wants and craves is MC

It’s almost heart-warming if not a bit concerning

However in his chase for MC’s affection, Lucifer would forget one crucial detail: MC is a Muslim, one whom is devout especially now having seen angels, demons and hell right in front of their eyes and when he accidentally witnessed them praying, he will just shut down and instantly remember that they are not meant to be

To put it simply, it’s illogical for them to even be together

When the realisation dawns on him, he immediately turns a full 180 and become a massive dick to MC, even borderline cruel that shocks the brothers

If MC confessed their love to him, Lucifer’s heart would soar in happiness, but his pure, unadulterated love for them would force him to push them away and tell them that he doesn’t reciprocate their feelings

But I could also see his Pride taking factor into this.

A prideful demon such as he, who willingly defied God and fell from Heaven, he would absolutely REFUSE to have his partner so dedicated to God. 

It won’t sit well in him at all and it will absolutely leave a bad taste in his mouth

But this doesn’t change the fact that he’s still in love with them, a fact which he DESPISES and is DISGUSTED by

When they left the Devildom, Lucifer would do what Lucifer does best: repress his feelings. That, or take it out on Mammon lol

But seriously though, he would need an outlet for his anger, heartbreak and yearning and he would most definitely drown himself in work or by punishing his brothers.

He can pretend all he wants that he’s fine, but Lucifer’s cues are pretty easy to read especially since MC has managed to get the demon brothers’ to bond with and understand each other deeper beyond surface level (a miraculous feat, kudos to our MC), the others can definitely tell that there’s some serious repression going on

But Lucifer gets very snippy whenever the brothers try to help him with it, which irritates the HELL out of them and they would be too annoyed with him to even bother helping him now 

Now that his pride has driven away both the very person whom he loves and his brothers, Lucifer will become even more withdrawn and far, far lonelier than he was before MC came into their lives

Sometimes, he curses the circumstances that led them to him, even if they were the best thing that ever happened to his family

Yeah, heartbroken!Lucifer is just ;((( (Alexa play bitches broken hearts by miss billie eilish)

Mammon

This man is a capital S simp.

Mammon gets attracted to anything shiny/pretty REALLY easily (after all, it’s one of the main reasons why his symbolic animal is a crow) so him being attracted to MC at first didn’t really come as a surprise

I think he knows the difference between finding someone attractive and actually being in love with them despite having never even fallen in love before

He’s lived for centuries and plus, his own sister loved a human, he’s certain he has never felt that for anyone before

Him realising that he’s in love with MC would definitely come as a shock to him though. This tsundere can deny it all he wants, but he can’t deny the fact that MC’s mere presence alone gives him serenity and cardiac arrest at the same time

His initial reaction when he comes to terms with it would definitely be to flee and avoid MC like they’re the plague. But this man pines and when he does, his sin will flare up and MC will find themselves with a very clingy Avatar of Greed by their side

To Mammon, being in love is the equivalent of stepping outside of your home for the first time in weeks and feeling the gentle warmth of the Sun caressing your skin

He is gentler, more compassionate, and more attune to MC’s feelings. He definitely places them above Goldie because they are his most prized possession, the keeper of his heart, the rarest jewel and like everything he treasures, he takes extremely good care of them. But he would NEVERRR let MC or his brothers EVER know about that (sike, everyone knows it, he’s so soft for them it’s so obvious. They find it endearing though)

Which is why when he remembers that they’re Muslim and that they worship God, the very deity he curses and rebel daily against, his heart would break

He isn’t stupid (well, not all the time), he’s lived in the Celestial Realm before. He has seen the humans who reside there once they pass their mortal life. They were infinitely exuberant compared to the ones who were condemned to a lifetime of punishment in the Devildom for their sins

And he could never doom them like that, it would hurt him to see his love miserable and depressed down in the Devildom even if he would want nothing more than for them to be together forever

So, he would bottle up his feelings and try his best to live in the present and enjoy what little time he has with them, even though he felt like that entire year passed by in a flash (which, in demon years, is most definitely like the blink of an eye)

If MC reciprocates his feelings, I can picture him being so, so joyful about that fact, but he knew that their romance is a tragedy right from the beginning. He is a fallen angel, he can’t change his nature and he has transgressed against God in the worst possible way; by swearing eternal enmity towards Him.

I can’t picture him getting over them, even after they’ve passed and are thriving in the Celestial Realm

omg I'm gonna sob Alexa play Smile by Juice WRLD

Leviathan

We all know that Levi thinks of MC as his Henry, his number one best friend

And he’s right. There were no instances of their hangouts being anything more than platonic

When he first started falling for MC, he’d deny it like Mammon did

Him? In love with his best friend? Preposterous.

Eventually he’ll come to realise it though because they were probably watching hilarious videos on the Internet (cough Buzzfeed Unsolved cough) and Levi was so distracted because he was just staring at MC laughing suuuper hard at the video in pure awe. Like his lil demon heart just went doki doki

Pure joy is so beautiful on people and seeing it on MC?? They were  pulchritudinous

But even after coming to terms with it though, Levi becomes SUUUUPER shy and embarrassed about that fact that for the first few days, he avoided them because he couldn’t compose himself in their presence

Eventually our beautiful demon of envy will snap out of it by MC cornering him and tearfully telling him that they miss his company 

So now they spend even more time together and Levi will slowly become more confident around MC

This means soft, shy touches turn into ‘accidental’ brushes against them then to full lingering touches until finally, he becomes confident enough to throw his arms around them in a hug

Unfortunately, depending on the gender identity of MC, this may not fly all that well

In Islam, contact between opposite sexes whom you have no familial relation to/are not married to is considered a sin (I can elaborate in another post if anyone is interested in it though) and MC will have to politely turn him down, but this doesn’t mean that they hate him. It’s far, far from that

They have to be gentle in their explanation to Leviathan. This man’s self esteem is so low that if MC were to ever recoil from his touch, it would send him into a shame spiral and self deprecating thoughts that is much, much worse than before

So MC will have to remind him that they are Muslim, that they are bound to the services and will of God.

This reminder will destroy him though and his sin will absolutely consume him

He would become so, so envious of God that someone as amazing and wonderful as his MC is so dedicated to Him, and in his envy, comes wrath.

Though his wrath is not as potent as Satan’s, it is enough for him to act irrationally and ruin his friendship with MC

He just couldn’t stand to be around them because all he wanted to do is to hold them, kiss them and love them and his envy for them will become too much that he will start to breakdown because of it

I do picture him being a yandere though with his being the Avatar of Envy. If MC returns his feelings, it might be best that they keep it to themselves and not make it known because this man WILL latch on to them and never let them go

He would absolutely turn them against God if it meant he gets to be with them for eternity even after they die

[glorified-red]

Tim Drake SFW Headcanons

word count: 2610~

warnings: none

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Tim shows his love and affection through acts of service, tucking you in at night and making sure you come home safely because he doesn't trust Gotham streets. He does also use touch to show his affection, holding your hand in the car and giving you hugs whenever he can to show his love for you. He’s also touch starved as hell so he adores cuddles and being held by you or just feeling you in his arms, safe and sound.

B = Beginning (How would the relationship start?)

A relationship with Tim can start one of three ways. Meeting him at a gala or being apart of a neighboring wealthy family, meeting him as a fellow vigilante, or meeting him at Gotham Academy. The best way to get into a relationship with him is probably the middle/last way, if you can empathize with his night life he can immediately trust you with his secret and the relationship can be built off of trust. That being said I don't think Tim would enjoy having a s/o who is a vigilante just because he doesn’t like being constantly worried for your well-being or wondering if he’s ever gonna see you again because you got injured in the field. So, the best way is to meet him at school and become really good friends with him until he eventually trusts you with his identity.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Tim is touch starved as all hell, but he is a closeted cuddle bug. He never shies away from your touch so once you realized that and started to cuddle with him? He just can’t get enough of it, he constantly wants to feel your touch against him, the reassuring weight in his arms. Tim likes to hold you, you head leaning onto his chest, him placing tiny kisses onto the crown of your head. But after a rough patrol he won’t hesitate to face plant into your chest, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. He loves when you play with his hair, it’ll immediately make him doze off.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) 

Tim had to take care of himself throughout his whole childhood, so he knows how to clean after himself and make a decent meal of Craft Mac and Cheese. He would love to settle down and eventually retire the ole cape and cowl but it doesn’t seem like it'll happen anytime soon for him, so if you’re patient with it? He’ll love you so much more.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Tim would hold off on breaking up with you for as long as possible, he might even just wait for you to break it off so he can take all the blame off of your shoulders. He values communication so he’d try to sit down and talk out what's not working with you so he can figure out the best way to move forward instead of wasting the whole relationship with a break up. If you try to talk him out of patrolling/vigilante-ing? That’s an immediate red flag for him.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

A marriage commitment just isn’t on the top of his to-do list/priority list right now. Maybe a few years down the line he’ll reconsider but he doesn't want to depend on a ring to show you how much he loves you. That being said, if there was a really close call for either of you he might just bite the bullet and tell you straight up that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he won’t propose per se but it’ll give you the hint.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Very gentle, Tim has worked with many different victims of many different scenarios so he knows how to treat every emotional situation with delicacy to make sure you’re okay. He won't ever raise his voice at you unless you do something extremely reckless that could’ve gotten yourself killed. He’d much rather talk it out maturely to make sure both parties have time to speak. Physically he could never hurt you, he cares about you way too much to be anything but gentle and romantic with you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ah yes, Tim hugs. I went into detail about his hugs here but the abridged version is that Tim adores hugs. He loves longs hugs with you that eventually turn into cuddles, he loves the hugs where he can burry himself into your neck and forget about his burdens, he loves hugs where he can be goofy and fall into a fit of laughter with you. His hugs are warm and secure, a grounding moment for the both of you and he likes to hugs you whenever he can.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Tim isn’t the best with his words without blushing like crazy or stuttering so he tends to show his ‘I love you’ through acts instead. He won’t ever say the word to you until you say it first. After the first time he'd rather save the “I love you”s for special occasions.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Tim doesn’t get jealous per se, he just gets a little upset and passive-aggressive. Silently walking away until you come up to him and ask what's wrong, then he’ll just shrug it off because there's no use being jealous when he knows you love him. He just can't help it. You can usually get him out of his jealousy fit by giving him cuddles and reassure him that you still love him and won’t leave him.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Tim has a bunch of different kisses for a bunch of different situations. He loves forehead kisses to show his protection over you, he loves cheek kisses as a quick goodbye, he loves slow and romantic kisses with you to show his true depth of love, he love rough and needy kisses where he can bit against your lower lip. Tim loves to kiss your neck but he will melt if you kiss his jawline or the crown of his head.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Tim has learned to be great with kids to distract them from any traumatic event that had just happened to them or saying hi to his little fans whenever he sees them on patrol. It’s always so adorable being able to see Tim hoist a little kid up on his hip and talk to them as he walks away from a situation while Bruce talks to the parents. Tim always has a smile on his face whenever he sees a kid grab his cape or walk up to him, but he’s too scared to have any of his own just yet.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are very rare with him because he's usually leaving for work or just getting back up from the cave. The few moments where Tim doesn’t have much to do, he would love to stay in bed with you hours after he woke up, just holding you in an attempt to fall back asleep. His bead head is adorable and his morning voice? Its hella attractive, rough around the edges with tiredness but low and sweet.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

You think mornings are rare with Tim? Nights are even rarer because he’ll be off to patrol by the time you head to bed and when he gets back he’ll be glued to his computer until morning. You can have “nighttime” with him but that usually involves dragging him to bed at 3pm and falling asleep with him in your arms. The only way to get Tim to sleep is by trapping him in your arms and not letting go until he gives up and settles into your hold.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Tim doesn't open up about his night life for awhile into the relationship, he needs to know he can trust you and the relationship you two have is genuine and real. Once he’s figured that out, he’ll sit you down privately and tell you he’s Red Robin and then give you the chance to ask any questions that you might have, opening himself up completely to you and trying to be as honest as possible.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Tim is very patient, he’s had to learn patience in the field when nothing happens for hours on end. He’s very slow to anger so if he does yell or lash out its for a very good reason. It’s like a second patience brain unlocked for him when you two got into a relationship because he is so patient with you about anything and everything, staying by your side through thick and thin, he only asks for the same patience and respect back.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Tim remembers every little detail about you, even if you mention it once offhandedly. He has a habit of writing things down so he doesn't get a chance to forget, he may even have a file dedicated to you about little nuisance things he’s learned about you. Tim has extremely good memory though so he can remember the exact necklace you wanted back in February so he can give it to you for Christmas. He can immediately recognize whenever you get a haircut/new perfume. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite memory was when he finally bit the bullet and opened up to you about being Red Robin, he had worked himself up for weeks and it was eating him up inside so of course he wanted to finally be completely honest with you. So when you took in all the information and did nothing but welcome him with open arms? He melted so fast and felt so much love in that moment he couldn’t help but cry in relief, hugging you and thanking you over and over again for not being upset or mad at him. That moment was the deciding factor that really made Tim want to hang onto you for the rest of his life.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Tim is semi protective of you, he trusts that you can take care of yourself and don’t need him constantly breathing down your neck. However, he is very protective of you because he doesn't trust Gotham streets or the people in Gotham either. He has a habit of watching you walk home at night so he can make sure you make it back safely, and if he needs to step in he will. He can also be protective of you around his brothers, stepping in during brotherly quarrels so you don’t get caught up in the crossfire.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Tim does try his best when it comes to gifts, he’s more of the sentimental type, buying things that you express interest in rather than attempting to make something for you by himself. He sucks at wrapping gifts so he usually just puts them in a bag and pushes tissue paper inside. He remembers every date, anniversary, birthday, etc, and will make sure he saves some time for you which is the way he shows his effort, by clearing off time out of his busy schedule for you. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Tim has a really bad habit of being paranoid and having major trust issues. He has contingency plans for If you end up breaking up with him and even has a little paranoid bug in the back of his head that you are only with him because of his wealth or that he’ll loose you or that he isn't enough for you. None of these thoughts are ever really expressed to you but its pretty obvious that he can get insecure about the relationship, the best thing you can do is reassure him constantly and show him that the relationship is genuine through your actions.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Tim isn’t very concerned with his looks, sure he can be insecure about his body and attractiveness when compared to his brothers, but it just isn't a huge thing for him. He’s more insecure about his personality rather than his looks. He does put effort into how he looks when it matters and truly loves when you do the same, but he doesn't love you for looks he loves you for you. You being gorgeous was just a bonus to him.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Not really? Tim is very independent and can do well on his own so he won't feel ‘incomplete’ without you because he knows you're safe and okay. Whenever you’re in danger and he can't do anything about it, is really when Tim feels incomplete because you aren't safe, you aren't with him. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Tim talks to himself all. the. time. constantly muttering to himself while he works because his brain is flying at a million miles per hour. He often paces across his room and talks things out. You know the rubber duck decoding method? Where you talk to a rubber duck to figure out why there's a bug in your code? Yea he does that too, but to himself or you whenever you're in the room. He’ll just pace and turn to you and talk about things you can't even comprehend, so you just sit and listen.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Tim doesn't like it when you pull him away from an important case, he’s trying to save lives and if you try to drag him away he won't be too happy about it. It’s different if he’s updating criminal records or just going through cases but if he’s actually doing an important mission he will say no to you and expect you to respect that boundary. He also would be very off-put if you don't have a Coffee machine, he will drag you to Bed, Bath, and Beyond just to get you one.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Tim doesn't sleep, he averages at like 3 hours every two days, maybe less. He is constantly working so he hates to be selfish and sleep instead of solving a case and saving lives. He often drowns himself in coffee and Red Bulls just to stay awake, it isn't healthy at all so he does appreciate it when you remind him it’s okay to sleep.

Taglist ♡

@idkmanicantenglish

@anothertimdrakestan

[builder051]

The talk

Chasing Ghosts

(I generally do not play in this arena; DO NOT ask for other stories with PMS, etc., as illness features. I do loosely plan to continue this thread, though. Or @mohini-musing might pick up for me.)

Warnings: weight (though not ED context), SA inc. prostitution, blood, emeto

____________________________

Tasha comes down the hall and stands like a ghost behind the sofa.

James is in the recliner across the living room, and he barely looks up from the textbook he's pretending to peruse. The quiet music he's had playing in one ear has long since captured his attention more than the multiplication of matrices. He's fairly sure he'll never use the skill lest he become a software engineer post-graduation, and the prospect of that's looking pretty slim.

He sees Tasha out of his peripheral vision, but doesn't move his head or lift his eyes for acknowledgment. She's probably drifted down from her weekend high, realized it's Sunday night, and gotten up for a Gatorade and maybe a glance at her homework.

Steve, though, who's lying on his stomach and taking up the whole of the couch, practically jumps to attention. He stands, scoots, and sits again in the amount of time it takes James to blink and make the first inhalation of a laugh.

"Sorry," Steve says, as if he's personally offended Tasha and just been called out. "I didn't mean... I was just, like, studying..."

Tasha shrugs. "Didn't come to sit with you," she says, in a voice that recalls the 'boys are gross' tone of young teenagerhood.

"What's up, then?" James asks, trying to bring back the balance of the room's atmosphere.

Tasha makes an ugly face. She opens her mouth, then shuts it. "Can I talk to you alone?"

James scoffs. "You think there's privacy in this apartment?"

"I can go, I don't know--" Steve looks around.

"Just talk," James says. He almost rolls his eyes, but the undercurrent of Tasha's affect seems to hold an air of seriousness. If there's something she needs to confess or ask for help with, he doesn't want her to feel less than secure.

Tasha lets out a breathy sort of sigh. "Blood," she says. "There's blood."

"Huh?" Steve responds first. "Where?"

James takes a little longer to contemplate the admission. Has she cut herself? There's no visible damage; Tasha's not holding an injury or howling in pain. Bloody vomit? That's nothing new, really, and even with vampire-red teeth, which she doesn't have, Tasha probably wouldn't come crying to him.

James is still thinking when Tasha points vaguely down the hall and to the left, which is, technically speaking, her side of the apartment. Or at least the bedroom and bathroom they'd parceled out for her when they'd unofficially moved her out of her dreary campus housing.

"What, in your room?" Steve asks.

"No." Tasha screws up her eyes. "I mean... I'm bleeding."

The cogs continue to turn in James's head, and just as he lands on an answer, Steve gives up, shaking his head and saying, "I don't get it."

"Fuck you," Tasha mumbles. "Both of you." She turns and starts to head back down the hallway.

"Tash." James jumps to his feet, his algebra book falling to the floor.

"You guys are fucking gay..."

"Hey!" Steve interjects.

James flaps his hand at Steve to shut him up. "Maybe we're gay, but I'm your big brother." He shoots a quick glance at Steve, hoping this won't surpass his no privacy promise. They've done some pretty wild stuff together: partying, puking, cleaning the carpet... Period talk shouldn't be too far out of their wheelhouse. At least, not if Tasha wants to talk about it.

Tasha huffs and rounds the edge of the sofa. She stands beside the arm, leaning her hip against it for a moment, before finally deciding to sit down, as far away from Steve as possible.

"I..." James starts, assuming it's his responsibility to keep the conversation going. "I assumed you hadn't been, um. You know."

Tasha's 100 pounds soaking wet. In her usual cutoff shorts and tank tops, he'd give her 95. Maybe 92 if she's detoxing. James assumes she has something like female athlete triad going on, except without the athlete. He doesn't like to think she's just too skinny to go through... normal biological processes. If he blames the drugs, sees them as wrecking her body instead of bringing her solace, then he'll have to turn eyes on himself, and there's no way in hell he wants to do that.

"Smart one," Tasha says. "And exactly how much thought do you give to the functioning of my uterus?"

Steve gives an 'oh shit' face, looking from James to Tasha and back again as if wondering how he's been so thick headed. James agrees, but is also relieved, in a way, that his boyfriend hasn't been thinking about his sister in, well, that way.

"Seeing as I have, more than once, pulled you out of an R-rated situation with iffy consent, and you have yet to become pregnant--" James starts.

"Yeah, ok, you don't have to..." Tasha shakes her head.

James decides not to stop his momentum. "Do you know how much sex you're having? How often you're using protection?"

"I said, you don't have to." Tasha glares at him. "I don't have one. A cycle, or whatever. I can't get knocked up."

"Well, I figured that, but you can still get an STD--

"I don't think you're hearing me," Tasha says. "I don't have one. I haven't. Like, ever."

"But--what?" James squints and cocks his head. "What about, what was it? Cheerleading camp?"

"That stupid summer program when I was 16?" Tasha bites her lip. "Yeah, that was a lie."

"You're losing me." Steve reminds them he's part of the conversation as well.

"What, didn't your mom send you to cheerleading camp when you were a sullen teen?" Tasha asks him, seemingly in all seriousness.

"Um. No." Steve withers a little under her stare. "There was a threat to beat it out of me with a bible when I was that age, but that never came to fruition."

"Mm. Fun times." Tasha scrubs her hair back from her face. "I told mom of the moment I started at camp, so then she couldn't go nuts about the moment I 'became a woman,' or whatever."

Tasha has always seemed like a little kid to James. Her stint at camp had only taken place... he quickly calculates... 3ish years ago. Tasha is a kid. She hasn't busted 20 years old yet. But, for the first time James wonders if other, more metaphorical factors are at play.

The idea quickly fades, though, when he remembers the actual topic at hand. "Ok, but Tash," James says. "What's actually going on right now?"

Tasha practically sinks into the couch cushions. She wraps both arms around her abdomen. "Blood," she says. "Kinda...everywhere."

"We'll clean the bathroom later," James says dismissively.

"And I'll do laundry," Steve offers. "I used to be the scrawny kid who got beat up a lot. I can do bloodstains."

"Not helping, babe," James tells him before Tasha can get a word in.

"Feel sick," Tasha admits, rather suddenly.

"Bathroom it is, then," James decides. "But, let's use mine."

Tasha seems to have turned into a shapeless blob on the corner of the couch, her chest meeting her thighs with her arms still wrapped around her stomach. Her face is in her knees, which James has to admit, would be easier to clean than the carpet.

"Come on," he says gently, taking Tasha's shoulder. "If you're gonna puke, don't do it here, please."

"But I already diiiiid," Tasha complains, drawing out the last word and adding the hiccup of a fake crying fit.

"Sorry." James hooks his flesh arm across Tasha's chest and lets her cling to him down the hall. He takes her into his and Steve's disorganized yet bleach-shined bathroom. Cleaning was practically Steve's hobby. Yet keeping down the clutter? Not his strong suit.

Unsure of exactly what kind of sick his sister intends to be, he sets her down, fully clothed, on the toilet, which, of course, has the seat up. Then he dives for the trash can and shoves it into Tasha's chest.

She gives James an appreciative glare, then sets her chin on the edge of the trash can, ostensibly to wait for an upcoming retch. James can practically see it, rising from the bottom of her spine, up her back, to her neck and throat before finally pushing a pitiful amount of spit and bile out of her mouth.

"Ok..." James sighs. If she's down to just that, she's been at it a while. Lost a lot of fluids already.

"Gatorade?" Steve asks in a chipper tone, putting voice to what James is thinking without a trace of delicacy.

"Hmph." Tasha spits. "If it'll... make it stop burning..."

"Lemme guess, vodka last night?" James tries to make her laugh. Maybe cough.

"Fuck you."

"Eh, we'll talk about that later," James says, hoping he doesn't sound threatening. "For now, how about I go with you?" James pulls on Steve's arm and heads for the bathroom door.

"Hey, you said no privacy here..." Tasha's irritated and sickly voice trails after them.

"Yeah, well, puking people aren't allowed to leave the bathroom," James says. "That's the house rule that trumps all the others."

"But I puke on the couch all the time--"

"That's because it's too hard to get your fucking limp-ass octopus body into the bathroom in the first place." James rolls his eyes. "Just sit tight."

He quickly drags Steve into the kitchen. "Ok," he says. "You have to know about this stuff. You took health class in high school, right?"

"I've lived with a woman," Steve reminds James, a little shamefully. "But Peggy was super private. You know, like inhibited, about, like, um..."

"Yeah, I get it." James shrugs. Then, "Did you know you can stem a nosebleed with a tampon?"

"Why would I?"

"I don't know..." James shakes his head.

"Why do you?" Steve looks a little take aback now.

"The field. Desert air's pretty damn dry."

"Ah. Ok."

"We'd get donations of shit from the states. Care packages, Costco overstock, you know. Just, whatever. When we got pads and stuff, whoever was unloading the box would just hold them over their head and yell 'who needs them?'"

"And I'm assuming people would just raise their hands?" Steve postulates.

"Yup." James pops the P. "No privacy. Everyone knows everyone else's bathroom habits. When you're deep in the field, there's no men's and women's facilities. Half the time the privies don't even have doors."

"Ok." Steve nods. "Experience, then. You have lots of experience."

James shrugs again. "You have to be chill, ok?" He opens the fridge and pulls out two bottles of Gatorade. He holds one to either side of Steve's neck, as if to physically cool him. "This is, like, super weird and awkward for her. She's really scared, I think, and her brave face just looks...jerk-ish."

"Yeah." Steve takes the Gatorade. "I can be good with this. I really care about her, even if she doesn't think I do."

"I know you do," James says. "It's all in the presentation right now, though. She's skittish. But, also, for some reason, willing to talk. We have to tease it out. And you can't ruin it, ok?"

"Ok, ok." Steve seems to understand, even if he doesn't appreciate the words.

They head back to the bathroom, where Tasha has, for whatever reason, decided to heave into the toilet instead of the trash. She squats awkwardly, sitting on one heel. From the angle he's at, James can see a spreading stain on the back of Tasha's shorts, which has made an imprint on her ankle and the bottom of her foot.

"Don't move," James says, reaching for a towel.

"The fuck would I?" Tasha coughs, holding her stomach and moaning.

"Well, when you're done, stand up slowly and wipe your feet."

"...Shit..." Tasha spits. "Like I said. It's fucking everywhere."

"Yeah..." Menstrual blood, James has no experience with. But blood in general, yeah. It does get fucking everywhere. There's that first moment when the entire body and all its systems are still in shock, like when the arm is first blown off, and then all he can see is red. Even the bone that was white just a second ago is lost in a sea of scarlet--

"Well, I suppose congratulations are in order," Steve says with a grin, clearly trying to be friendly, but missing out on one, or more, of the points. "You're not pregnant."

"Well, of course I'm not, you dingbat," Tasha replies, rolling her eyes so hard that James is sure it must give her a headache. If she doesn't already have one. "And besides. He used a condom."

"Wait," James says. He's been preoccupied by not looking at Steve. "You know that?" he pokes cautiously. "For sure?"

"...Yeah..."

"Every time?"

"To be honest," Tasha starts, spitting and pushing herself away from the toilet. She crab-walks to the towel, wipes her feet, then sits on it, criss-cross like a little kid. "I don't know if he actually gets off every time." She draws her mouth into a straight, defensive line.

"The fuck does that have to do with anything?" James asks.

Steve looks very much like he wants to get the bleach from the cabinet under the sink, pour it into one ear, tip his head, and see if it comes out the other.

"He pulls out," Tasha says bluntly. "And there's never any, you know. Gunk."

"Wait, he does both?" Steve's eyebrows disappear into his hair. "A condom and--"

"Ok, ok." James puts up his hands to shush them both. "And this is, what, this is your dealer we're talking about?"

"Yeah, I guess, if you want to call him that," Tasha says with a shrug.

"What else would we call him?" Steve now looks disgusted. "That'd be stupid to let him just, like, defile you every week."

"He doesn't--" Tasha starts, but then she hiccups, and maybe thinks better of what she was going to say. She still stares Steve down, though, then looks to James as if grasping at straws of support.

"He's, like, a manufacturer?" Tasha turns her gaze sideways.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." James puts his hand over his face. He'd assumed Tasha was getting her stuff on the street, through a framework of various interlopers. Now he's getting news that his kid sister is taking substances thrown together in some coed's bathtub? This is too much.

"Tash--" James starts, trying hard to keep his bubbling anger and concern from spilling over.

"He's a PhD candidate," Tasha says defensively. In Chemistry. And--" her eyes flicker from side to side as she seems to wonder what's appropriate to spill. "I won't tell you his name. But... I'll tell you that he got kicked off the football team for being too violent, but he still wears his green jersey all the time to prove how much better and calmer he's become since that happened, which was only in the freshman year of his undergrad..." Tasha babbles on.

The more she defends the guy, the more James hates him. He feels bad for him a little, slinging synthesized crack to get by. He feels better for Tasha, knowing that what she's taking is most probably pure. But the sex thing is--

"It's kinda creepy," Steve says, taking the words right from James's mouth. "Like, how much older than you is he?"

"I don't know." Tasha shrugs. "Not that much, I don't think. Started school early, finished fast. And I'm not sure this is his first post-graduate program..."

"Maybe shouldn't've added that last part," James says, screwing up his eyes. "So he's had, like, however long to prey on girls who are barely legal. Who might not even be legal..."

"Well, I'm legal, and I can do what I want." Tasha crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"Yeah," James sighs. "Unfortunately."

"But what about the thing with the handcuffs? The gang rape? Losing your bra?" Steve blurts out.

"Wait, you..." Tasha's eyes flash with anger. "You told him?"

"What did I say about privacy?" James quickly reminds her. "The non-puking kind? And, um," He looks to Steve. "Maybe a little respect?"

"Sorry," Steve mutters. "But--I really do--"

"I don't really remember that stuff," Tasha says.

James studies her face, but he can't tell if she's lying.

"Probably just party stuff that got out of hand."

'You mean you were too stoned to know the difference between your regular and some random dude off the street,' James thinks. 'What do you do at parties? And how the fuck do you slip past me?'

"He's your pimp, too, isn't he?" Steve asks, pointing at Tasha rather accusatorially, in James's opinion.

"No!" Tasha leans forward and brings her arms down to cover her clearly still sore abdomen. "Bruce wouldn't--" She swallows. "I didn't-- You didn't hear--"

James hasn't been a student long enough to know who was on the football team 4, 5, 6-odd years ago. He supposes he could look it up, crossing the name with accounts of any violent incident that amount of time ago. He's not sure he wants to, though he'll probably wind up looking it up later. Either that, or Steve will. James still has his ex-mil connections, a few of which were absorbed into the local police force. Steve, on the other hand, is better with social media and navigating the niceties of such mysteries as SnapChat and TikTok.

"Ok, fine," James says, just ameliorate his sister's panic.

"He doesn't even drug me at parties," Tasha goes on, probably unaware of how terribly young and desperate she sounds, making lame-ass excuses so she can keep her boy toy.

"And you've had other guys who did?" Steve asks incredulously, even though James shakes his head frantically at him to try to get him to shut up.

"You know Rumlow?" Tasha asks, since apparently she's now all about spilling names.

James shakes his head, but Steve screws up his eyes and says in a disgusted voice, "him?"

"Yeah..." Tasha sighs and looks down at her fingernails, which are stained rust-red at the root. "Remember the night I didn't come home?"

"Yeah, and scared the living shit out of us because your phone was off," James fills in the blanks.

"Well, I didn't turn it off."

"You mean that asshole kept you overnight without any means of getting yourself out of there?" Steve looks downright sick. "I mean, I know he looks slimy, but that?"

"I think Maria accidentally slept on the couch and found me at, like, 6am trying to stick my head in the linen closet because I couldn't find the bathroom." Tasha laughs, though the situation is anything bur funny.

"And I was so pissed at her for having you out all night..." James trails off.

"Yeah, maybe respect my choices a little more?" Tasha glares at him. "I mean, Maria's studying to become an EMT now. You can't think that badly of her."

'Great,' James thinks. 'Someone who'll drug Tasha to the gills every weekend.' She'll be less likely to overdose, but James has seen it all too often in the field. Newly minted medical personnel eager to sow off their skills and rushing into action.

"Yeah," James says, trying not to smirk. "So you got a girlfriend and a boyfriend now?"

"Ew, no," Tasha replies. "Friends with...benefits, I guess. If you even want to call it that. Folks who look out for each other, using a barter system?"

"Did you recently take World History?" James can't help but poking at her vocabulary.

"Fucking-a, I don't know. Once I pass, it's in my past."

"That's actually a good motto," Steve points out.

"Anyway," James says, bringing the conversation back to topic. "None of your...friends... are invited to this house."

"It's not like I want to bring them over for dinner," Tasha replies. "I guess drop off and pickup might happen, since, well, you know now, and I don't have a car." She shrugs. "Cool?"

James hates the idea of someone inebriated driving a car in which his sister is a passenger, despite the fact that he's done it before. Regularly, actually. Maybe he just hates the idea of the driver being someone who Tasha just fucked. The air might be heavy between them. They might smell like each other's deodorant and musk. They might kiss each other good bye. The thought makes James's stomach turn.

But, "sure," he says. "That's fine.” At least she'll come home.

James shares a glance with Steve, which seems to confirm the same sentiments, "Yeah," Steve echoes, as if his opinion counts for anything. "Fine."

[radellama]

Games I Played in 2021

Going to start off by saying, I feel I didn’t really get to play many games this year, and when I did I found myself feeling very :/// about current gen games. I had some help modding my 3DS as I was too busy to do most of it, and it was probably the best thing to come of this year gaming wise for me. I don’t know if my crankiness this year is attributed to outside factors reducing my patience and letting my over-critical self run rampant, or if perhaps I’ve finally aged out of being the target audience to most things and need to just stay in my bubble. Regardless, there's a lot of salt and weird games in my gaming recap of 2021 ahead. Also I’m not counting games like solitaire and sudoku even though they’re probably what hold the most gaming hours for me this year. Possible mild spoilers for some games I discuss, and I kinda gave up on reviewing properly so have fun deciphering these rants :P

Happy Home Designer

Well, theres not all that much to say here but I’ll find a way to make this a paragraph too long, I bet :P I wasn’t happy with New Horizons at all, and when I saw HHD come out years ago I was always curious, as collecting furniture was one of my favourite parts of Animal Crossing. Playing this was nice, but its a brain off kinda game. It was nice designing spaces for villagers, though it really did feel like a spin off game (funny to say that, when a lot of people would debate how much of a game a casual one like AC in general is) I played for a solid couple of months, had fun and then slowly stopped playing as the repetitiveness set in.

I would like to make a side note here and say. Fucking hell why did ACNH essentially make this game as the DLC. And only JUST add Brewster in? And not even in his own Cafe, he’s back in the museum… I stopped playing NH a while ago and seeing all these updates that SHOULD’VE BEEN THERE IN THE BASE GAME come out kinda makes me mad. I bought the DLC for my siblings as an early Christmas gift, but I don’t think I’ll buy it myself. Why? Cause I have Happy Home Designer on my 3DS and can already play it and it’s probably better lmao. I feel like AC has gone downhill ever since the app came out and I just miss playing Wild World.

nooks homes - https://youtu.be/uzbhyEiNi5k

first preview - https://youtu.be/ONYdWhLEFRU

tom nooks theme - https://youtu.be/0Khgfifk69Q

~~

Sims 2 DS

This game is fucking weird. It��s barely a Sims game, its actually a hotel management game. And a weird one. You crash your car on the outskirts of this weird and isolated town in the desert, and then stuff happens and you kinda take over the managerial position for the absent hotel manager. I had this game on my DS as a teen, I used to play it when I’d hang out in my parents parked car and for some reason sat in there for hours in the summer heat and it’d be worse than a sauna. I think it enhanced the vibe of all these weird npcs going a little loopy in the desert tbh. The game is still weird, I got further than I did as a kid, but I’m at a late game stage where I don’t really care to go further, so I’m calling it done.

I think it was a bad choice to have it be real time, I think an internal time system would’ve worked better at adding more of a constraint to the chores you have to perform and make the late game more challenging. Having events like alien invasion or goonies attacking prompt countermeasure challenges (spraying aliens with a water gun or dressing up as a superhero rat to stun and arrest goonies respectively) have a time limit of one real life hour is too easy. It takes barely 3 minutes to prepare and find them, attack them and get it over with. Theres also not really any stakes if you lose, so half the time I’d just ignore them lol. I don't’ really know what to say to this, its so fucking strange that it’s hard to describe, and the reason why I stopped was just cause I didn’t care to go collecting useless skill points that are only useful for this one mission, poor game design. Also, can’t even whoo hoo in this game smh 0/10

strangetown at night - https://youtu.be/tkcnohuXygc

electric pop - https://youtu.be/IMnCXpCMqfs

disco blitzkrieg - https://youtu.be/krWWnsgBo9Y

~~

Sims 3 DS

This is the worst sims game I’ve ever played you can barely do anything and most the furniture is ugly. I made my oc Harland and this was the first time I ever considered that I never made a last name for him, and then I made him a nurse and then spent most his free time reading. You can’t even whoo hoo here either smh 0/10. For some reason I played it for 5 weeks straight. Harland is now the best dr in the world and he has read almost every book ever. As you can imagine, it was boring and it sucked.

No song recs cause its not immediately popping up when I search and I don’t care to look cause the ost was bland tbh.

~~

Mario Kart 7

Hm. So. Last year I didn’t include games like this, but I really haven’t played much this year and I feel like being salty. MK8 didn’t need to exist, all the tracks I thought were originals to that game were actually from here. There’s not enough difference to warrant 8 existing, apart from the DLC they added on the Wii U and Switch, but even then… if mk8 was just an expanded port of this game, it’d be the EXACT SAME. This was a mario kart, nice to just zoom around when I was in desperate need of a brain break between the most chaotic uni term I’d had all year, but MKWii is still superior in my eyes.

Not linking any songs but this soundtrack is better than the soulless ‘jazz’ in MK8.

~~

Super Mario Kart

Just here as a companion to the previous entry. This game is still hard as shit and I’m glad they moved away from go-kart driving. Spinning out and bumping around sucks ass and popping wheelies in MKWii is more fun - but I still love this game cause I grew up on it and koopa looks pink and naked.

Listen to the soundtrack that I’m not linking here cause I’m lazy and will just hum it from memory :P

~~

Harvest Moon SNES

This game was a big part of my childhood. I played it again and got pretty far. It suffers from being a 90s game, which is especially apparent in winter sections where there is absolutely nothing to do other than feed your animals. It’s a very bare bones farming sim cause as I understand, it’s one of the first mainstream ones ever, and I love it’s simplicity like that. Trying to cover my whole farm in grass was an ambitious task [and I mean doing this with no cheats too] but I was determined. I almost got there, and married a woman and had 2 kids and it was fun, but the absolute lack of anything to do during winter and seeing that I’m barely halfway through the month on my second year was just a bit rough. I think I had more patience for this as a kid, and also I was so busy that I preferred to be boring and play sudoku in my spare time instead of harvest moon winter. This is a lovely game and very chill, and I loved dipping back in to play on the comfortable portability of my 3DS.

Town - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mwe_Y8QqdP0

Summer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfK0Lg6byrw

trolls cave - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3EkT-jUNAg

~~

Dandy Dungeon

This was one of the best games that I played on Switch this year, and it’s one that I used to play on mobile during high school lol. Its a nice wrapped up definitive edition or something, it’s very charming and cheeky, and I like its simple premise and execution. I highly recommend playing it just because it is so simple and easy to get into, I think it’s a dungeon crawler lite but I dont really know that genre so lmao. You just go through levels, plot out a path and bash up enemies. It was a mobile game, so I mean it when I say simple, but its good fun and I recommend it. If the mobile version is still up it should be free, and I only bought it on switch because it was on sale.

demon lord - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCpmPf9S_VM

Retrograde life - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5ydIElLOHA

wonderbad battle - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL1Q_XlE6pE&t=13s

~~

Castlevania 1987

This was the other best game I played on Switch this year, and its a NES game. I was excited seeing the Castlevania collection, as I’ve always wanted to play the early stuff, but kept forgetting to go find ways to play. Yeah yeah, its a sin to buy shit like this when I don’t agree with the way Nintendo are going about whatever blah blah, but this is a neat little collection and convenient to have and now I don’t have to set up a nes emulator on my wii.

Onto the actual game, I played for like 90 minutes and had the best time. I don’t know if I’ve really just had that shit a time with gaming this year or if I’m just a cranky boomer gamer at heart, but this was awesome. It was fun cracking the whip and the enemies looked funny, and the first boss fight I encountered was challenging in a refreshing way by being so simple (no that doesnt make sense, yes i was just glad to play a game from back in the day and enjoy it for what it was) I died entirely too much, but I was playing after christmas lunch on my sister’s tv while chilling in the corner so i couldn’t really see the tv properly and was tired, but I can’t wait to play through all these games next year. Also the music is really good, especially by NES standards. But, if you couldn’t tell already, I love these older soundfonts and am always impressed with how much depth they can convey in their little beeps and boops. Yeah, I barely played, whatever, I had fun and it was one of the highlights of my gaming year, so its going on the list.

Vampire Killer - https://youtu.be/TAz_4zHBT1M

Stalker - https://youtu.be/SMTKbZKnXzU

~Skyward Sword HDtps://youtu.be/x8-NIlObLtA

~~

Skyward Sword HD

Ahh Skyward Sword, what an awesome game to celebrate the 25th anniversary, I’ve got the gold wiimote and the anniversary CD - Oh wait…. This is actually the 35th anniversary. And they’ve released… the exact same thing that they did for the last decades one….. Not even a Zelda all-stars like Mario? Not even a unique little game? We’ve done this before. Skyward Sword with an anniversary remote but this time there’s no soundtrack cd that comes with it. Ok…

That particular grumble aside, this is one of my personal favourite Zeldas, despite all it’s flaws, and I was excited to see it in HD and at the potential of getting a new wave of appreciators. There are some quality of life improvements that are very much appreciated, like reduced Fi sword-splaining, and being able to look around with the camera.

I was very curious to see how the dual stick sword play would go, as I believe like the last time we saw SS released, it could be the trial run to see how a mechanic works and refine it for the next game. (think the stamina in sswii -> botw) I didnt play SSHD for long, but I did play long enough to try out this dual stick sword, and I gotta say, once you get over the learning curve, it’s pretty good. It felt nice to have incredibly precise control of the sword, and it was fun slashing through the enemies this way and took me right back to all my playthroughs on the wii. However, I found the motion controls to be ASS here on switch. I don’t know why everyone complained about the motion controls on wii, I played as a dumb kid multiple times over the years and never really had a problem with them. I’m willing to bet all the people who complained about the motion controls on wii were people who didn’t calibrate the remote like it asked you to. On Wii, I’d only have to recenter the pointer once every couple of HOURS, and by that time it was often long enough that I would be satisfied with the session and stop for the day. On Switch, it was mere MINUTES between having to recenter. In fact, often during normal enemy encounters, I’d feel like I had to recenter after defeating a single enemy. Sure, it’s handy that theres a quick button to press and it recenters… but I shouldn’t have the motion controls be worse on a supposedly superior console. I can’t say for sure if I’m just a grump about this, but when the switch was announced and everyone was fawning over the motion controls and vibration, by the time I actually got to try one out at a demo, I was largely unimpressed. Once again, I am really dissapointed by the way the motion controls were adapted here for a game that is centered around it. If by chance, you think I might be doing something wrong and there’s a way to calibrate the joycons better for optimal play, please let me know. I just feel that with my current understanding of the way both types of motion control works, I just don’t see how the motion control could work better than the wii without something like the sensor bar to guide it.

I will also say, although so far with my short time dipping my toes in, and enjoying the dual stick, this absolutely sucks ass with joycon drift. I wont say anything for certain cause I haven’t played through the whole thing yet, but although changes like being HD and camera control and less Fi ramblings are appreciated, we’ve been here before, and this is really the most bare bones of a remake/port to current gen. I love this game so so much and I think it really didnt get the chance to be appreciated for what it was, but cmon. THe motion controls were so fun back in the day and I loved most the main and side quests, the soundtrack was absolutely gorgeous and I think this zelda game makes the best use out of all its items. Like, yeah you don’t use the slingshot as much after you get other items, but you can upgrade them and keep using them, like there are multiple places to use the beetle and the whip ect, their use isnt just confined to the dungeon you find them in and the occasional secret to remind you that those items still exist. I enjoyed the dungeons and the scenery of the game was always beautiful, its exciting to see it in HD and I so desperately hoped that this would give a chance for those brilliant bits to be seen for what they were and for old fans and new enjoyers to come together on that, and it seems that botw2 has stronger references to ss so I cant wait for that to overshadow this game. But tbh, this just reminds me of every grievance I have with the switch in one beautiful game. Whadda hell.

fi’s farewell - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DAJBU4Wtqg

gate of time - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0np8WU2Znw

ballad of the goddess - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23hJeaLotEw

~~

Detroit Become Human

This is an interesting one… As it’s probably easy to guess, I love stories about robots/androids because I find them fascinating. (Blame it on Data from Star Trek and Robo from Chrono Trigger :P) I watched a playthrough with a friend in a massive binge session when it came out, and it was super fun. I know theres controversy with the creators or something, in all honesty I forgot what the deal was, but I bought this for like $4 in the bargain bin so lmao. While I wouldn't’ exactly call this a game, it is a pretty fun choose-your-own-adventure story. You follow three plotlines that are happening simultaneously, one of the special detective android, Connor - one of the caretaker who’s taken custody of a small child, Kara - and one of a different kind of carer android that eventually become robo jesus and spreads deviance in order to fight for android rights, Markus.

As I’m sure everyone knows, the Connor sections are the best; detective work and mystery solving are really captivating and I feel you get to see the best of both a concentrated pov and more at large pov of how androids are treated through his sections. His deviance is interesting, and I was glad to see an older gentleman be his partner protag instead of yet another young and generically-attractive dude lol. The way Connor bounces off Hank during investigations and seeing either a friendship begin or witness the absolute crumble of Hank’s mental state was compelling for the most part, and the chemistry between the actors really made their sections memorable.

Kara’s sections are a bit weaker, as you do have to take care of a little girl named Alice during it, however I thought there were still stand out moments, even if they felt melodramatic and strange at times. You also get the choice to gain a companion on your journey, Luther, and I think he is one of my favourite characters in the game because he has such an interesting introduction/backstory and he is still willing to selflessly help (if you go down the right path) from seeing how much Kara cares about Alice. While a lot of people may find Kara’s sections boring, I think they’re important as they showcase a much more domestic pov for the android racism thats going on and helps flesh out the worldview at large - though the reveal that happens during the Jericho arc for her is fucking dumb and I hate it, it could’ve been done better but I see what they were going for.

For me, Markus was actually the weakest of all the sections, especially as I feel he had the most potential to say more in his sections. He starts as a well off caretaker for a rich artist that has high support needs, and it’s clear that they have a close relationship like a father and son. This directly contrasts with the domestically abusive caretaker situation Kara was in that birthed her deviance, which is part of the reason why I feel Markus’ section, especially at the beginning is weaker. However, him being in a more affluent situation and living in a different bubble to other androids at large gave him a unique perspective of both human and android lives, which did make it interesting that he became a messiah of sorts and led androids to revolution. What I found really weak though, was that he just kinda. Becomes a leader without really earning it. He didn’t actually experience the full weight of android racism, so it often felt like he hadn’t earnt the leadership positions he’d been quickly thrust into which made it hard for me to follow in a narrative sense. Why were they all so quick to trust him and follow him? It felt lazy as hell lol. Especially when, as I’m playing, I’m thinking just briefly about it further than surface level to create more satisfying explanations, I wish there was a bit more refinement put into his story. As the one to lead the revolution, I wish they touched more upon android ptsd, as I feel him trying to work through the heavy emotions that come with deviance and realising how bad their situation is would’ve been both a better motivator for his protests, and a better companion plotline for Connor and Kara.

All three could’ve done with more refinement tbh, and before anyone tries to suggest that it be a much bigger focus on Connor, or even the whole game centered around him - no, that wouldn’t work lol. I love the Connor sections, but they’re actually just not strong enough to stand on their own, and part of why they are so fondly remembered is because there was more action and they felt more refined compared to Markus and Kara lol. I understand that it is incredibly difficult to commit to a huge branching story like this, but a little more time in the oven with better writers, or at least a producer or something that had a better understanding of the vision and could help keep everything tied together would’ve been awesome. Its still a decent game all these years later, but its so fucking shallow at the same time. Like imagine a more refined version of this game, one that tackles three important aspects of android life and deviancy that all converge for the climax and is more than the most shallow of allegories for racism or xenophobia. Connor’s relationship with Hank is interesting! Play up the tension between Connor trying to be genuine and work well with the jaded and often hung over detective as he battles ostracization from humans for being a freak android thats taking over their jobs and being considered a traitor to androids for working with humans to put them away. Kara’s deviancy is interesting! Play up how hard it is for her to shed android-ity in order to blend in with humans enough to keep Alice safe while they travel to try find a new life for themselves, and toeing the line between when to trust humans or androids as the social opinion during protests changes. Markus’ journey from having to run away for his own safety and having to work his way through the broken and rejected android undergrounds is interesting! Play up the aspects of how objectified androids are, how easily they’re thrown away and fucked over and explore ptsd within reject androids. Theres a really interesting scene after Markus runs away and wakes up in a garbage pit, and has to crawl through living graveyards of barely working androids and pull them apart so he can rebuild himself. I thought they were going to go somewhere with this, to show how much that affects him and how it reflects his patchwork view of android life, going from the easiest life he could possibly have to falling right into the pits of android hell. Link him more with the android religion that Connor and Hank investigate, show us how taboo it is considered for them to have built their own societies, cultures, religion, and what they’re willing to go through to stand up for their rights. I would’ve liked to see more strange protests from them as well, ones that really showcase how different they are as androids, but also highlight how similar they are to humans. I think struggling to appeal to humans while also trying to convince androids to become deviant has a lot of potential, as you see in the game the more you make controversies the more public opinion goes down which makes some mild consequences in later sections. Markus’ sections are the parts to get really gritty and uncomfortable with that! We have two other aspects covered but his in game section feels like more of a retread of what Kara is going through which is sad.

This is rambly and I do really love the concept, and theres a lot I haven't discussed, but I think i should call it here. Love the concept, wish more competent writing teams were allowed to explore this subject matter more and lean into how cool it could be, and the soundtrack is awesome actually! (even though most the bangers are from connors lol)

Now - https://youtu.be/-ODbE6OY0s8

they all look the same - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Rf2Ecl7dDg

will you trust me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAkZtKi1RLk

special mention of that one luther trailer - https://youtu.be/dDdShA6t9H4

~~

Another Eden

I was recommended this game by a friend about half a year ago, and tbh I only really had my interest fully piqued when the chrono cross event was announced. It was a pleasant surprise tho, I enjoyed most my time with it even though I zoomed through the main story to unlock the cross event. It may have been detrimental for me to zoom as fast as I did, but I also feel this is just a little too adjacent to the kind of games I like that I wouldn’t have enjoyed it much more than I already have if I went slower. Its a nice little jrpg-lite mobile game, it has gatcha elements that I didn't really understand and it was only until I was about halfway through chap 15 that my friend told me how to use it and I’d been brute forcing my way through the game like a normal jrpg lol. The graphics are cute, the music is mitsuda inspired, and the story was nice, even though it got really goofy near the end.

I enjoyed the beginning a lot, travelling through time to figure out what force is tearing the timeline apart and how to stop it, but it seemed to really go off the rails near the end and then the big impactful moment was kinda ‘undone’ in the after-scene to introduce the further chapters in part two of the game. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m interested in continuing further, the end was nice enough as far as I’m concerned, and when I finish the cross event I think I’ll be happy leaving it at that. I’m glad to have played it, and it was nice seeing how much chrono trigger in particular seemed to inspire this game - (I believe a significant amount of the team had worked in chronoverse or were at least huge fans, what with between Kato writing again and Mistuda doing the main theme :P) - but I feel it wasn’t quite as good at ct lol. Thats to be expected, as a mobile game and kato having done the story for cross and dreamers, but ehhhhh it was so close to scratching an itch for the kind of stories like ct, but it just didn’t hit the spot. Perhaps this is more because its mobile game, or I’m just far too in love with ct that its incomparable to other games (or maybe cause I filled my party with guys who my friend described as ‘male cleavage’) but I think I’m happy with just this little stint I did in order for the rarity that is chrono content. Definitely worth trying out for yourself, I think I actually had more fun with other quests than the main one overall, as there were a large variety of side quests and character quests that added flavour to the world. Enjoyable, but just a bit too adjacent for me to hold it in any higher esteem than this.

Moonlight Forest - https://youtu.be/20ASkSK_Jis

Main Theme - https://youtu.be/CDz2QzLCYTI

Ratle - https://youtu.be/Ti7gIv9BVnw?t=3209

[re-diesirae]

PART II PROLOGUE

"As wave is driven by wave

And each, pursued, pursues the wave ahead,

So time flies on and follows, flies, and follows,

Always, for ever and new. What was before

Is left behind; what never was is now;

And every passing moment is renewed."

― Ovid, Metamorphoses

A voice echoed through the white painted corridors soothed by the soft sound of a music box.

A place filled by solitude; the cries of desperation, fear, and the agony of loss.

Her hand caressed the cold surface of the music box, the small ballerina in it spinning at the melody, she once knew, until it came to a stop.

She heard the keys; she heard the whispers; she heard the mutters...

When the door opened ...

Her pain began.

1. Jill

November 5th, 2016. 8: 00 A.M.

The blond woman passed the security stand, smiling at the friendly guard who had received her. After the kidnapping incident, TerraSave had become warier about their security. Entering the building became a tedious procedure, but she was a regular visitor, and her BSAA badge helped a lot.

It had been eight months since the incident in Germany and Claire's death. Her loss had been a big hit, not only TerraSave but to BSAA, too. That without counting the emotional turmoil that the news had caused. She knew, from Chris, that his sister was always good at leaving marks on people. She hadn't had the chance to get to know the girl well since their schedules were busy all the time, but the people who did know her seemed deeply affected. Chris entered a state of depression that was even worse than the episode he'd suffered in Edonia, but in this case, he had not drowned himself in alcohol. She guessed that he did it in his sister's memory. The girl had hated his drinking habits, after all. The Burton family had seemed affected, as well. Barry had made silent mourning, but his daughter had cried a lot, and even half a year after, some things could still trigger her tears. Then there was Leon, he too, was a silent mourner, but Jill was good at reading people, and she could tell that, after Chris, he was the most affected one. Even the workers in TerraSave are still mourning. They had not chosen a new head to replace Claire, and so BSAA had been handling things until they decided for someone to take over.

Jill pressed the button in the elevator and waited. Her frequent visits were usually to check on things in the place, but today it was different. She had received an urgent call from their chief, summoning an emergency meeting. He gave her no details, but the message said that she had to report to TerraSave HQ immediately. When the door of the elevator opened, she found the familiar figure of Chris standing in front of a wall. He was watching it with a pained expression, and Jill felt her heart shrink.

It was the memorial wall. At least that was how everyone in TerraSave called it. The wall had been Claire's idea, from what she'd heard. She recalled the voice of Dr. Hiwamura as she had explained to her some months ago, on her first check visit.

"Claire thought it was just a good way to honor the fallen. Most of these people died without leaving a body behind, and most have no graveyards or family to mourn them properly. She said real heroes are not always remembered, and that at least we should give them the honor they deserved as a big family. "

The Memorial Wall was something simple. It was a wall filled with pictures of TerraSave agents who had died in action, and there was a table where people could leave flowers or other gifts. The most recent photo, of course, was Claire's. She saw the pretty portrait set on the table, and she noticed that, unlike the rest, her picture was not placed on the wall.

"Claire was always good at fooling us with her deaths. Some of us still find it hard to accept it was real this time, so no one has had the heart to hang it. Hanging it would somehow mean she is gone while having it there is like she'd come to the office one morning and shout at us for slacking off. You may think it's stupid, but people should reach acceptance, slowly."

Jill could understand, though; she put her hand on Chris's shoulder and looked at the pretty picture on the table. Someone had placed a small bouquet of orchids next to the photo.

"You got her flowers today?" she asked, surprised.

Chris shook his head.

"No, it wasn't me. I guess one of her subordinates left it here this morning. A close friend, probably. Orchids were her favorite, but not many knew that." Chris replied softly.

Jill squeezed the man's shoulder comfortingly.

"What are you doing here? Came to see her?" she asked.

"No, not today," Chris said, putting his hands in his pockets, "I got a call from Adams, something about an urgent meeting. I just thought of passing since I was here."

"You, too, huh? I wonder what this is about…"

The pair walked to the meeting room and knocked. A voice, that they recognized as their chief's, told them to come in, and they pushed the door open. Jill was surprised to see that not only they had not been the only ones called to the meeting. Beside their Chief, Edward Adams, there was TerraSave CEO, Ian Wentworth; the new Security secretary of the U.S, Renard Hopkins; Dr. Hiwamura, Barry, and Leon, too.

"Ah good, Valentine and Redfield. We were expecting you. Please take a seat, would you?" Adams said, signaling the two empty seats at his left.

Jill and Chris sat down, exchanging quizzical looks with the rest of the present. None of them seemed to have any idea about the reasons for the meeting.

"I believe most of you are thrilled to know the reason we have summoned you here." Adams said, reading their thoughts, " I am sorry that this meeting came up unexpectedly, and I apologize if it interrupted any important task."

She saw the man look apologetically at Leon. The man nodded in reply, and she guessed that he was probably in some important assignment when he'd gotten called out.

"However, we considered that you need the first to be notified due to the circumstances…" the man continued.

"What circumstances are you talking about? I am not very patient, and you should know that already, Ed," Barry groaned.

"Yes, of course, I do, Barry. Let me fill you in about this. Yesterday we received an urgent report from a TerraSave/ BSAA team stationed in Cardigan Bay, Wales.

Adam pushed a set of folders at them. Jill flipped some of its pages, reading some random lines. It was a regular report of a sea patrol, but the words "Sea Wreck" and "Survivor" caught her attention.

"Four days ago, the sea-patrolling team found a body floating at the coast: a female in her 30's, barely alive, severely wounded, and highly dehydrated. She was taken to a TerraSave Health Center in the area immediately. She had no identification on herself, but a rescuer from the station seemed to know her."

"Oh…?" Barry frowned.

"There is a picture of her at the end of the file," Adams clarified.

Jill flipped to the end of the folder, and her eyes went wide in shock. The woman in the picture had her face covered in bruises and cuts that made her features barely recognizable, her hair was shorter, but it was still the same burgundy color she remembered.

"She said her name was Claire Redfield."

A heavy silence filled the room, and Jill could believe what she'd just heard. Claire Redfield? Was that even possible? When the Manor exploded. There's no way that someone survived that explosion, especially with the wound she had sustained and the cleanup team hadn't found any corpse, but still, even if she had managed to escape from that place alive, how had she ended up in Wales?

"Sir…?" Chris mumbled.

"I know, Chris. We have already arranged for a DNA test to confirm it."

"What if she is a clone...made up by Neo-umbrella?" Leon's voice muttered, "They have done it, and DNA would match."

Jill's heart broke. Among all the present, Chris and Leon were probably the ones who would be the happiest with the news, but their past experiences made them untrustful. It was painful to see that among them, both seemed to be the most skeptical.

"There's a way to...corroborate if it isn't a clone." Dr. Hiwamura said, and everyone in the room turned to her.

"Please, elaborate," Hopkins said with interest.

"Cloning searches to reproduce healthy cells, so naturally, pathologies wouldn't be copied unless it was genetic. If the pathology originated from external factors, it can't be copied."

"My sister was healthy...what are you trying to say?" Chris said with a frown.

"She was a carrier of remnants of the T-Phobos," Hiwamura said, crossing her arms, "She was infected with an inactive strain of the virus."

"Wait, what?" Barry snapped, "she got the antiviral, just like Moira and Natalia. Does that mean…?"

"Moira and Natalia are clean. The vaccine was developed based on the virus we found in Claire's body. She volunteered to be the test subject at the time, so the final version of the drugs did not affect her infection. We have to keep track of it. That was one of the main reasons why I got transferred here. The virus exists in Claire's body. However, it's lost its infectious capacity. It keeps invading cells and replicating, but her immunological system neutralizes the excess of sick cells. That prevents it from growing into infective doses..."

"What are you suggesting, Dr. Hiwamura?"

"If she got cloned, her immunological system would have been reset, and even if they had infected the "new" version with a sample of T-Phobos, the virus would be active, unlike the one infecting Claire. What happened to Claire was an ecological adaptation. To put it simply, unless they had a clone go through a physiological restrain that she went through and under a replica of conditions, the probability of them generating the same reaction is impossible."

"Wait, are you telling me that she was infected by a variation of the t-virus all this time? Damn, that's probably the reason she got targeted eight months ago. How can you tell us this now?" Chris snapped, hitting the table.

"We kept it secret for the same reason." Wentworth said, shaking his head, " When I talked to Claire two years ago, she told me she wanted it that way. Besides Dr. Hiwamura, the men sitting here, and Claire herself. No one knew of this fact. The information was classified, even to her friends to prevent something like that from happening."

"If she knew...then why didn't she get someone to protect her? Fuck! This could have been prevented…" Chris cursed.

"Chris, calm down…" Jill said, pulling his arm and trying to convince him to sit down again.

"She rejected the idea. Bodyguards would have attracted unnecessary attention. I don't think that Claire suspected this to be the reason behind her abduction either."

Chris did not reply. He clenched his fist in anger.

"Dr. Hiwamura, is it a trustworthy way to confirm Ms. Redfield's identity?" Hopkins asked.

"I am 99% sure, sir. I'd need to do the test."

"And...could you do that if we send you there?"

"Well, if you can drag the whole lab there, yes."

"Guess that's a no. We need to bring the woman here." Adams muttered.

"I am sure I can contact the local consulate for help." Hopkins said, "However, will she be in condition for the trip?"

"Was….she injured badly?"Jill asked.

"Yes, according to the medical report attached. It's a miracle that she is still alive." Wentworth sighed, " Multiple lacerations in her body, including organ damage. She lost a lot of blood, and some of her injuries got infected due to seawater. There are more details inside those files."

"There was evidence of a struggle. It's a fair guess that she escaped from someone or from somewhere."

Jill was starting to see what all this conversation was going to be.

"Sir, you don't think..." Jill began.

"Claire is a tough cookie…" Barry commented, "always was, always will be. Wherever she was, you can bet that she did not sit down like a docile pup."

Jill knew that Barry was probably right. If Claire had been in a difficult spot, the woman would definitely fight her way out.

"Sir, any idea of where she came from?" Jill asked.

"Unfortunately no, the first assumption was that she'd come from a wrecked ship, but the theory was later refuted when the rescuer recognized her. Listen, I understand this news must be shocking, but if this woman is indeed Claire Redfield. There's no doubt that there is some sort of bioterrorist hazard associated. I want you to go there and investigate the area. See if you find any clues."

Adams looked at the three BSAA agents, and they nodded.

"Agent Kennedy." Hopkins spoke to the blond, who had stayed quiet until then, "Your orders have changed. This woman has been labeled as an especial witness. You will go as a representation of both the DSO and USA, and we don't know what sort of things she might have gone through. We all agreed that it'd be better if the escort was to be someone she knew."

"I understand." the blond nodded.

"As for Dr. Hiwamura…"

"I'll check her state, yes."

"Very well, you leave today at noon. Please make the proper preparations.

NOTE: if you guys want to come and chat about the fic, or just about CLEON in general. Feel free to drop by the discord and say hi! JOIN SERVER

[morbidly-malicious-muffins]

What Kind of Music Slashers Would Vibe to Headcanons♪

This little thing popped into my head. Fyi, the canon timelines are thrown out the window for this so... Yeah.

Bring forth the bop~

RZ Michael Myers

"Let my weapons be your children, let my armies be your damned. Try to suffer on in silence, try to stop me if you can." --- This Cold Black by Slipknot

I think he'd really enjoy metal in general. I can totally see him unknowingly stomping to some Marilyn Manson and Meshuggah, though the lyrics and message probably will just fly over his head.

He listens to some heavy shit, but probably all the more mainstream bands/artists.

The loudness and organized chaos of the genre fills the void in his soul and reflects the state of his mind, despite his stoic and non-verbal outer demeanor.

Someone please do everyone a favor and introduce Michael to some death metal. Admit it, it really fits his aesthetic.

This is just based on speculation, but I suspect a 70% possibility of RZ Michael resonating with Cannibal Corpse. Fight me.

He hates classical music with a burning passion. Back in Smith's Grove, they played Bach's Air Sul G on tap. (its canon in the first movie lmao) He hates it. Mikey no likey.

Freddy Krueger

"No stop signs, speed limit, nobody's gonna slow me down. Like a wheel, gonna spin it, nobody's gonna mess me around." --- Highway to Hell, by AC/DC

Freddy listens to classic rock, period.

This guy is ngl a supporter of music taste discrimination. You listen to pop? Disgusting. You listen to Jazz? Disgusting. Classic rock is the epitome of all music.

He'll call you music-related slurs you never knew existed.

As stubborn adamant as Freddy is, he does harbor some guilty pleasures, including 70's hair metal and glam rock. Pshh. What a heckin hypocrite.

Some of his all time favorites are Guns N' Roses, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen, and AC/DC.

(Basic bitch)

*Hip thrust movements to go with his 'The Sprinkler' dance moves, Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses blasting in the background*

OG Michael Myers

He doesn't listen to music, but if he did, he would probably enjoy Jazz.

Michael only listens to Miles Davis because he enjoys his music and can't be bothered to discover more artists.

Oml Michael I know Miles Davis is amazing but don't neglect other iconic artists plzzz. Someone please make him listen to some Teddy Wilson and/or Dave Brubeck.

I imagine him sitting stiff-straight on a rocking chair (he just likes how it moves), knife in his lap, rocking and zoning-out relaxing to 'Blue in Green'. (I love that piece)

#AfterHeFinallyKillsLaurie

#RetirementGoals

He also hates classical music because of the same reason as RZ Myers. Seriously, if either of them so much as hears the opening chord of Air Sul G, expect the speaker to be stomped to a pulp in a split second.

Bubba Sawyer

Alright let's all be honest with ourselves... 70's pop and country is Bubba's shit.

Look me in the face and tell me he wouldn't adore ABBA, The Jackson 5, and Dolly Parton. Thats right you can't

Everytime 'Dancing Queen' starts playing on the radio, Bubba will drop everything and start busting down.

Ain't nothing and nobody stoppin him. Drayton is powerless against the supreme sovereignty that is ABBA.

But let's also appreciate the fact that our Bubster can motherfuckin get down. *wipes sweat from forehead + heart eyes*

He would also do passionate lip sync with his heart and soul, to Dolly Parton's 'I Will Always Love You'.

50% chance of him starting to cry right after he finishes his earnest performance.

*Holding Bubba in your arms, rubbing comforting circles on his back as he bawls hysterically, incoherently babbling on about how much he loves you*

I also feel for some reason he'd really like Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.

Thomas Hewitt

"For one moment, I wish you'd hold your stage, with no feelings at all. Open minded, I'm sure I used to be so free." --- Citizen Erased by Muse

Y'know what I have a hard time imagining the type of music Tommy listens to. Kutos, Mr. Hewitt, you have defeated me.

siKE

(This is where I yeet the timeline out of the window y'all)

Thomas enjoys Muse, Evanescence, and Radiohead. (Fight me)

He just loves how emotional their songs are. He'd have one earbud in as he works away at his projects for hours. The music helps him concentrate, it is also a source of emotional support to him.

Hearing the heart-wretching lyrical content of 'Lost in Paradise' performed so beautifully by Amy Lee's angellic voice is really comforting to him. It's like hearing about another person's experiences. It makes him feel less alone in dealing with his emotional and mental turmoils and burdens.

The first time Thomas heard 'Creep' by Radiohead, he almost cried.

He also listens to My Chemical Romance sometimes. He only knows the Black Parade album, but he loves it. If 'Creep' didn't make him cry, listening to that entire album from top to bottom sure did. He started sobbing half-way through 'Famous Last Words'.

Tommy is emotional boi 🥺

Brahms Heelshire

C l a s s i c a l

No matter how stinky Brahms is, you can't tell me that he's not classy.

Schubert is his bitch. Schubert's style tends to be quite majestic and/or dreamy, (generally) and can change color/sound very abruptly yet appropriately. (This is just my opinion based on experience with Schubert's pieces, but then I only know his piano pieces soo) (let's still cue that maestoso to scherzando transition)

But of course, Schubert isn't the only thing he listens to. He prefers the romantic period, so Mendelssohn, Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Shostakovich, Brahms, Schumann, you get the gist, all the staples. Oh yeah Elgar too. To be a proud English lad.

*Brahms swaying in the living room with the grace of a baby giraffe, engrossed in the beautiful melodies in Schumann's Kinderszenen.*

(Oml please check out 'Von fremden Landern und Manschen' and 'Kind im Einschlummern') (For those who play piano, they aren't that difficult too totally recommend) (Ok sorry I'm done now)

Brahms would totally waltz around alone to Chopin's waltzes and nocturnes.

Oh yeah apart from that classy shit, he likes to jam to meme songs.

"Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play---"

*cut to Brahms passionately fortnite dancing*

Listens to The Strange Man Who Sings About Dead Animals for a good laugh. (Please, all of his songs are gold)

Vincent Sinclair

He'll have 'emo' and 'classical' with a side of metal, thanks.

I headcanon that Vinny McWaxy is an INFJ, so the boy is likely prone to crippling existentialism. It would make sense for some aspects of his music taste to reflect that.

*cut to Vincent sitting rock-still on his workbench/stool, hands hover in mid-air, staring straight ahead, some John Cage piece playing*

You'll never hear this from Vincent but he enjoys sexy-time music. He has this whole erotic playlist he listens to while working. (Boy likes to feel sexy on the job, I respect that.)

I think its pretty much canon that Vinny loves MCR. (Hello fellow emo piece of shit 👋) His favorites are everything by them really. A hardcore fan. He used to have MCR, P!ATD, and 30 Seconds to Mars posters plastered everywhere in his workshop until he had to remove them all to add to the intimidation factor of his waxy hell for passer-bys. For the record, he is very gay for Frank Iero.

On the metal part of his spectrum is mostly classic metal, groove metal, and thrash/heavy metal.

Rammstein, Pantera, Vildhjarta, new and old Metallica, Dream Theatre, Coheed and Cambria. His bitches.

He also uses music to scare victims when bringing them down to his workshop. *cue horror movie soundtracks*

*KI KI KI MA MA MA*

Is a whore for the dramatics when in a good mood.

*Lacrimosa by Mozart plays as he makes a point to bring the wax painfully slowly down toward a drowsy and petrified victim*

A lament for your upcoming death, pitiful human.

Bo Sinclair

"The day has come for all us sinners, if you're not a servant you'll be struck to the ground." -- Beast and The Harlot by Avenged Sevenfold

Bastard boy is into dad-music™. (same)

Dad rock, classic rock, pop punk, punk rock, old school pop, his shit.

He listens to a lot of the same bands as Freddy, but Bo (generally) doesn't discriminate and explores a more diverse variety of music.

Its a fandom canon that Bo loves Avenged Sevenfold. I totally agree.

A7x is the perfect amount of cynical, political, and shred for Beauregard, (I hc that ge hates his full name so plz don't ever call him Beauregard)

He listens to the radio whenever he's at work. Whatever that might be.

Will NEVER admit it, but he thinks Vinny's music taste is dope as hell.

He'll turn off the radio just to strain his ears to listen to Vincent's music downstairs. No one will ever know that though. You don't.

Actually likes classical music too. Its not one of his main genres but there's one piece he really likes, Second Movement of Shostakovich Piano Concerto No. 2 in F Major.

He never thought he'd enjoy this type of music. Its so.... Calm. He discovered that piece from Vinny's playlist. When he first heard it on his brother's speaker, he fell in love. It was one of the extremely rare cases in which he'd be committed enough to ask Vinny the name of the music.

Tiny shuffle for man-kind, huge fuckin step for Bo. Good job Bo, we're proud of you.

Also pleeeeeaaase message me or request stuff, I'm bored and have little inspiration 🦊

I might do a pt2 of this, since I didn't write many of the boys and gals🤷‍♀️

Also sorry if I've neglected some genres/artists (Like i've neglected non-piano classical pieces.... Bc ya girl is just a pianist), a person can't know everything😗

---Zali 🖤

[malsmanor]

How would you think henry reacted to martha telling him they were going to have Melanie?

I think Martha took it worse since she was the one who had to deal with all the immediate consequences of the ‘good news’ so she didn’t exactly tell him in the nicest or calmest of ways.

They would immediately start to blame each other (as if it didn’t take two people to... you know :P) because, damn, kids were never part of the deal! They had explicitly agreed on this years before, I’m sure. It was probably one of the many unwritten rules of their preposterous marriage lol. Henry in particular was quite irritated by the news and immediately tried to figure out all the consequences and problems that having a child would bring into their (mostly his, let’s be honest) life. The possibility of developing any sort of affection for the child didn’t even cross his mind at that point and he only saw ‘it’ as a nuisance. As Martha’s pregnancy went on though, he started to warm up to the idea of having a son that could one day took over the company in his stead and that he could raise to be as successful and ruthless as him... once again, affection wasn’t really a factor in these schemes and once again Henry was disappointed in finding out he had a daughter instead. He really couldn’t see any positives in having another annoying woman around the house :V (Martha was more than enough, lol)

Speaking of Martha, she on the other hand was legitimately worried, not being in her prime anymore and living in what was, all things considered, still a small isolated town where doctors were mostly self-taught than actual professionals or straight up con-men. Not to mention that, not unlike her husband, she had zero to none parental instinct or desire to have a child but unlike him was glad to hear she just had a cute little girl.

Yes, all of this headcanoning is here to explain why they had Mélanie so late, but I also think it builds up their personalities in interesting ways.  Speculation goes that originally they were intended to have an older child but I can’t really find any source except the letters that are also the source of other story details/rumors. So far, the only information that comes straight from the letters that has been 100% embraced by canon (and only VERY recently) has been Mélanie’s name.

I’ve always assumed that Henry and Martha had Mélanie after they moved into the Manor but the official sources (the Decrypted book) confirmed otherwise so I’m just going to update my headcanon and say they were staying somewhere else nice in Thunder Mesa, but the place wasn’t really suited to ‘properly raise a child’ the way the customs of the time would have intended. Once Mélanie was born, and both her terrible parents warmed up too her much quicker than they would ever want to admit (aww), maybe it was the desire to provide her with a home that was fitting of her status as Thunder Mesa’s ‘little princess’ that the very idea of building the Manor stemmed from.

well, that and because they totally wanted to flex on those less rich than them. That’s just how they are :P