#This one and my Silver Lining universe have the most thought

[novantinuum]

Steven's Breakdown Was Inevitable From the Very Beginning

I feel like the thing that fucks me up the most about Steven Q. Universe and how well conceived he is as a character is that the fundamental building blocks of why he reached his breaking point in SU: Future were laid out as clear as day in the span of legit only the first four episodes of the original show. The writing was literally always on the wall that future him would struggle with matters of self worth and identity in relationship to the others around him.

Let's take a look:

Gem Glow

"Awesome! What are these things?"

Foundational Trauma #1: Steven's home is always either under threat or actively being wrecked by antagonistic forces/beings, and he constantly copes with this by pushing down his fear in favor of a curiosity and silver linings based mindset.

Look at his initial shock when he opens the door and gets tackled by one of these things, and then his response when one of them spits acid:

The kid's freaked the hell out about all this, and while I do think there's a part of Steven that genuinely IS curious about what these lil critters are, I think he's subconsciously using that curiosity as a way to distract himself from his own fears and anxieties. This is Steven actively learning how to ignore the deeper problems in favor of emoting a facade to the others in his life that he can totally handle himself in scary situations like these.

The underlying reason why is incredibly apparent, when you look at the example from the next episode-

Laser Light Canon

"I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me..."

Genuinely- from the bottom of my heart- I think the above quote from Greg is a moment where his own insecurities around the Gems actually rubbed off on Steven.

At this point in time, Steven may be living with the Gems... but he hasn't started to harness any of his powers at all, so in his own head he might as well be the same as his dad- another human, just one who happens to have a gem! But the way Greg talks about himself... given Steven was living with him in the van for years before moving in to the beach house, he had to have heard negative self-talk from his dad like this before.

And then there's the rest of the Crystal Gems... always speaking of Rose with such reverence as if she were an all-powerful goddess... and Steven can't help but look back at himself, and his gem that won't work... the gem that the others still identify as Rose's...

"Your gem-! You have Rose's gem!"

And maybe he starts to wonder if- without any working powers- he's just a plain ol' dope like his Dad, too.

"Please work... Unlock! Activate! Go! Please-!! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless!"

Foundational Trauma #2: Steven has Rose's gem, and as such, is constantly living under the silent expectation to live up to a standard that he simply cannot ever hope to achieve, because he doesn't KNOW her and he never will.

I want to highlight one of Steven's expressions while his dad is talking about Rose- look at that sad look. My god, I just wanna hug him. This is the expression of a child who has already come to terms with the fact that his only relationship with his mom is through the rose tinted stories that other people tell him about her.

Cheeseburger Backpack

So. Steven has learned so far that he needs to push down his feelings and emote a false veneer of cheer and bravery even when he's afraid, because the rest of the people in his life have expectations and hopes for him due to the legacy of his parentage and he can't bear the thought of letting them down. (And in a sad way, at this point "letting them down" literally just means... being an ordinary human boy. I believe Steven at this stage of the show is flat out scared to be human, because to be human is to fail at being a Gem, and no amount of love and sacrifice in the name of humanity in the seasons to come could've ever saved him from the fundamental fact that the wedge between him and this whole half of his being was already drawn long before the events of season 1 even started. But I digress.)

Let's see where we go from there. Let's check out Steven's first "mission." Or as Pearl puts it about 35 episodes later, his first "test."

"Yeah... they can't all be winners."

This episode is tinted with a little bit of tragedy for me on rewatch, because I genuinely do think the Gems handled the situation as well as they could've. They were supportive of Steven's successful ploys, and (for the most part) responded with grace when he majorly blundered and left the Goddess Statue at home. The main problem, however, is that Steven has already developed a bit of a complex about impressing the three of them-

Foundational Trauma #3: Even when they claim otherwise, Steven has convinced himself that affection from the Gems is transactional, and that when he messes up he's not truly a part of the Crystal Gems.

Of course we the audience know this isn't true- I mean, hell, Amethyst even said as much in episode one after her slip-up ("and you're fun to have around, even if your gem IS useless!")... that the Crystal Gems wouldn't be the same without him. But Steven... the poor kid is a complicated little guy living a complicated life, and whether they intended it or not, the language used they've used around him thus far has not backed up their attempts at fully embracing him, human parentage and all.

Thus, Steven just spends the entire episode wracked with anxiety trying to find creative non-power using ways to make the mission easier so he can convince them he's useful to have around.

Look how nervous he gets even when all three of them are visibly and vocally supportive of his presence here:

This is the face of a boy who feels like he's under constant judgement and scrutiny from those around him.

Blessedly, viewing this episode in isolation, he experiences a brief moment of mental respite where he finally accepts the Gems' encouragement and agrees that his ideas 'can't all be winners,' but this lesson does not stick for him moving forward. A shame, really.

Together Breakfast

"What's the matter, Steven?" "I wanted us all to have breakfast together, so I made Together Breakfast! But everyone keeps leaving..." "Oh, that's nice..."

Taken in context with what we've learned already in the last three episodes, Steven's desperation to spend quality time with the Gems here and his sadness that they keep leaving him alone doesn't just exist within a vacuum. He spends the whole morning watching them shuffle in and out of the temple, or come back from missions he wasn't invited on, and with the disastrous result of the LAST mission he went on probably fresh in his mind it's not hard to understand why this bothers him.

Foundational Trauma #4: Steven internalizes that the price of "not being useful" is that the Gems actively ignore him, meaning that the only way to guarantee their attention is to work as hard as he can to become a stronger member of the team.

I know this screenshot is usually used as a lighthearted meme, but I wanted to include it because I think it's a good example of how Steven's intense desire to impress permeates every facet of his personality at times. Just LOOK at how desperate he is to make Garnet laugh at his joke, to be the one that's at very least "fun to have around," as Amethyst put it in episode one.

The Gems do eventually drop what they're doing to spend time with Steven by the conclusion of this episode, but this only comes after Steven shows his growing strength and "proves" himself by saving their butts from the breakfast monster.

If he successfully gained their attention in literally any other way he might've come away from this episode with a different lesson, but no. Instead, his fears were proven true- the Gems value strength and utility, and if he's not exhibiting that, then what use is he to them?

These fears of his can be seen weaving throughout the foundational fabric of the entire show, but I think Steven lays out what he sees as his "stakes" in the clearest way possible in the episode 'An Indirect Kiss.'

"But- if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, o-or Pearl, and- I-I can't go on missions!"

And these same insecurities even rear their ugly head as late as the movie.

"I can't believe this... for the first time in years, everyone's in danger, everybody needs me, and- I'm useless!"

Powers = Utility = Worth = Other's love, for Steven. Everything is transactional to the end, which is a hilarious double standard he's set for himself when he's made his reputation as the kid who always listens and encourages and gives others a chance to change, no matter their messy history with him.

__

So let's recap and restate those foundational traumas from Steven's perspective.

One: The only way to cope when your life is constantly under threat is to bury the damage and pretend to be fine.

Two: Everyone expects you to live up to the standards of someone you're not.

Three: The Gems only love you when you're of use to them.

Four: If you ever stop being useful, the Gems won't want anything more to do with you.

In sum, Steven's habit of burying his feelings for the benefit of others was there from the very beginning, not just since 'The Test.'

Those unreachable standards he felt so daunted and intimidated by all his life were the ones set by Rose, at first... but over the course of the series, the dynamic of this shifted. As Rose's influence fell into the background, Steven's rose into the front. And so it's with great irony that- by the time of Steven Universe: Future, the expectations this exhausted, worn down teenager is fighting to once again achieve are the ones HE set for himself. Many of young Steven's selfless actions during the war are quite admirable when analyzed in isolation, but almost none of them are sustainable. He set himself on fire just to save the world, but teen Steven is genuinely unable to see this for what it is yet- as a tragic sacrifice of his own childhood. You can't burn your own ends for others forever, not at all. His breakdown was simply inevitable.

When it comes to the interconnected beliefs three and four, these are exactly why the ultimate confrontation at the end of I Am My Monster HAD to be one fueled by selfless love. Steven is at his absolute lowest at this point- he's everything he fears he's become, trapped in a form that's nearly incapable of reason. He's big and angry and spiky because that's a part of the facade- because a part of him WANTS to scare the Gems away, wants to be left alone forever, believing this the fate he deserves as price for his misdeeds.

In this form, by his own definitions he is NOT useful to the Crystal Gems at all.

But they don't care.

Because it never WAS about Steven's 'usefulness' to them, they simply love him for being Steven.

With this in mind, the conclusion of Steven Universe: Future wasn't just a salve to teen Steven's immediate struggles, it was a salve to the foundational insecurities that have been plaguing him his entire life.

And hopefully... from this point on... his family's shows of love and encouragement will be enough to finally convince Steven that he's more than worth their time...

No matter what path the future leads him on, and no matter what form he takes.

[reiderwriter]

She's a Silver Lining

Chapter Nine of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: Spencer comes to terms with your abduction.

Warnings: ANGST, Suicidal ideation, kidnapping, mentions of fetal abduction and murder of pregnant women, descriptions of abuse, descriptions of prenatal care, typical case details. Spencer is depressed.

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is a day late, I literally saw God this weekend (I saw Taemin perform live), and really, all that's been on my mind is how God is Good (Taemin is hot), and so I haven't been able to write anything as depressing as this chapter. I hope you enjoy (?) it anyway~♡

Masterlist || tags are currently broken, I'm sorry ♡

Eight days. It had been eight days since Spencer had last seen you. Eight days since he'd screwed up his one job so massively that he'd lost you. 

He'd lost people before. He'd lost people on cases. Victims, unsubs, bystanders, and family members who didn't stand a chance at recovering from their own loss. He'd lost Maeve, which was a little too similar to his current circumstances to think about too hard. He'd been losing his mother since he was born, and he'd really lost her again a few months ago. He'd lost Gideon. He'd lost Elle, too, before that. He'd lost Emily, and though she'd come back too, it wasn't the same. He'd lost Morgan, and then Hotch. He'd lost Alex Blake.

He'd lost nearly everyone in his life. Some of them had come back, most of them hadn't. 

He'd thought himself immune to the pain of losing someone at last. 

He'd certainly lost enough of himself in prison. 

It may have only been 84 days, but whatever was left in him of hope before was gone. He'd emerged completely empty. 

He supposed that's why he'd accepted the role at the university. There was nothing left for him to give to the BAU, but he couldn't be the one to leave. 

As it was, he'd already been unsettled enough by leaving you behind when he'd finished up his time there. 

It felt weird to him, saying goodbye. Not that he'd actually said goodbye. He'd kissed your forehead as he slipped out of your bed, sure, but you'd been neither conscious, nor fond of him in anyway. It was a parting gesture just for him  and he hadn't been quite sure why he'd done it. 

It was just a gesture and one he'd repeated multiple times after getting you back. You didn't know, of course. How could you? 

He'd either woken up before you and kissed your forehead, or climbed into bed beside you late at night and greeted you then. 

You'd lain side by side, drifting to sleep slowly, when he realized it had become a daily habit. 

He hadn't any idea of what he'd do when you left. 

And now you had. And it was his fault. 

In the eight days since you'd been kidnapped, Spencer had come to terms with a few facts.

He knew 64,956 women were currently declared missing in the United States. He knew that 77% of adults reported missing were found in 24 hours. You weren't. He knew 4% were found in 48 hours. You weren't. Only 3% were usually missing still after a week. 

You were somehow in that small minority, even though there was an entire team of FBI agents working around the clock to find you. 

He'd had faith in his coworkers before. Before, he'd begged for their help, and they'd succeeded in 24 hours, even if the outcome wasn't preferable. 

This time, he didn't beg. He had no faith. He just hoped to be present with a gun, loaded with two bullets, if this time went the way of the last. 

On the eighth day after your abduction, Spencer finally returned home.

The damage from your abduction was still apparent. 

Not that your captor had left many clues. In fact, they'd left none. Not even a fingerprint or a good angle on the CCTV. But he hadn't taken returning to an empty apartment well.

He slashed through the crime scene tape quickly, letting in hang in the doorway as he entered. The bookshelves he'd attacked were limping, leaning on each other for support after he'd ripped books off so violently he'd set them askew. 

He'd kicked and ripped and punched the wall so hard he'd needed stitches that he'd absolutely refused to get. 

He'd cried and sobbed into his bloodied and bruised hands until Emily had arrived, and then he'd cried some more, leaning on his friend, his sister, for her support. 

Returning now, there wasn't a single tear left.

In the hospital, they'd addressed his flesh wounds, but the emotional ones would never hear. 

You were gone. And now there was only a 3% chance he'd ever see you again. 

Emily hadn't allowed him to stick around to make their jobs harder. She's placed him on house arrest - funnily enough, her house, where you should've been if he wasn't such a selfish ass - and assigned a watch. 

She’d said it was for protection, but what she'd meant was it was to protect him from himself.

The rest of the team had avoided the topic entirely. They didn't know how to deal with whatever stage of grief he was going through. Many of them had comforted him the first time. They didn't know how to do it a second. They didn't know if they could. 

After eight days, Spencer had left Emily’s apartment. He'd dodged the Agent she'd stationed alongside him, got into a taxi, and gone home. 

Surveying the damage, he was surprised how deep the hurt had already cut to not feel much anymore. 

He looked at the books splayed on the floor. It was a title that you'd been reading that week. One he remembered you using at the office, one that had been on both of your courses reading lists. He picked each of them up and put them back on the shelf. He righted each shelf and organised them neatly, how he thought you'd like them. 

He picked pillows up and rearranged them. He vacuumed the debris from the floor, the thin layer of dust that had gathered since he'd left, the splinters pf bookcase that had crumbled off, the shards of wall that were speckled with his blood. 

He wept the entire time, though silent, until there were no tears left to cry. 

Then he'd come across a tiny package underneath his coffee table, a single corner of plastic peaking out, begging for attention. 

He'd picked it up and wept again as he found depths of sadness to reach further down than what he'd assumed to be rock bottom. 

Aa he lay in a pool of his own despair, a new, haunting fact crashed from his brain to his heart. Since 1987, there had been 21 foetal abductions in the USA. 19 of them had ended in homicide, with the mother dying. 

You made 22. 

In the two months since you'd been abducted, you'd learned three things. 

The first was that you absolutely loved Spencer Reid. You'd spent enough time sitting introspectively about everything in your life to realize you had to stop being so stubborn and admit just that. You'd been about there before all of this, but now you knew for sure. 

You should be cursing the man that inspired your horror show of a life, after all. But instead, you thought about him and held back tears. 

She gave you updates these days, testing your reactions to his name, waiting to see you crack, to see you cry, and sob and break down completely. 

Today, Spencer had been to see his mother, she said. He'd broken down in her arms and caused her to have an episode. She'd hit him so hard, his face had already been bruised by the time she saw him. 

The second thing you knew was that your baby was going to be born healthy. You had no plans of having a home birth, but now, at seven months pregnant, and large enough that you almost thought about doing your conception math again, you knew you were on track for giving birth in the room you'd been in for the last 58 days. 

You hadn't counted. 

She’d been good enough to tell you the date, the day, and her plans every morning when she visited you. She checked your vitals, your blood pressure, the position of the baby, your temperature, your heart rate, and recorded everything in her chart. She asked you how the pregnancy was going, almost as if she was the nurse she'd been training to be. 

Her bedside manner was so good some days. You forgot entirely that you were tied down to the bed, ankle clamped down. 

She let you walk for an hour a day, but recommended bedrest after that for health reasons. You didn't complain or talk back because she didn't like that. 

She let you read, and she was even curious about your reading, asking you questions and taking notes as if this were just part of her regular college schedule, an office hour that had taken over her life. 

You shuddered sometimes as she stared up at you with those big eyes, so wide, and young, and naive, and full of hatred, and evil, and you wanted to claw them out and scream for help, and stab her with the pencil she wrote notes with, and stab, and stab, and stab, and-

The third thing you knew was that you'd never hold your baby in your arms because you'd be dead moments after they breathed their first breath.

You knew, because she had told you as much everyday since you'd woken up. 

In two months, Spencer had become more manic and self-destructive than he'd ever been in his entire life. 

His world centred around you, and finding you, even as his 3% slipped to 1%, slipped to 0.1%, and he knew deep inside that he'd never see you again. 

He hadn't returned to the BAU but had instead turned his home into an investigation room, emptying the walls so he could pin up information, evidence, pictures of you, everything he could find. It wasn't that he'd regained hope, but he'd grown so desperate that he suddenly gripped hard onto the only slither of it that he had left and refused to drop it. He was a dog that didn't know the game of fetch only conti he'd if he dropped the ball. His life would not go on without you.

So he searched. He knew how far along you were. He knew how far along a woman had to be for a c section, professionally performed or not. 

He barricaded himself into his house and paced for days as his friends pounded down his door. He let none in. He didn't go out. He wasn't sure what he ate, or drank, or if he slept, but he knew he paced, and he thought, and he came up with theories. 

After two months, Emily was tired of knocking. 

“Spencer Reid, I am coming in,” she shouted from behind the door. 

He usually ignored her. She couldn't pass the bookshelves he'd moved in front of the door anyway, even if his superintendent had given her a key. 

This time though, he heard a banging, a creak and a crash as the bookshelves went down and Emily, who had left him and returned, made her way inside his apartment. 

“You barricaded the door?” she said, looking at him. 

He took a shaky breath and tried to answer as she surveyed his apartment, the mess of papers, books, string on the wall. He saw her stare down at the pile of sheets on the floor where he'd been sleeping, the bag of your things he had dragged to be closer to him. 

He saw her look at the baby shoes, and baby grows he'd laid out neatly on the floor, and he saw the pitying look she turned on him. 

“She's pregnant,” he finally said out loud, though you must've been 7 months along by then. “I'm going to be a father.”

“Spencer,” Emily said, grasping his hand, voice cracking from the strain of emotion that coated her tongue, making her voice thick. “You would've been an amazing father.” 

“No. No-” he said, breaking away and moving back to his wall. “No past tense, I won't let you… I won't let you give up on them.” 

“It's been two months.” 

“So she's only seven months pregnant. I have two more months to find her, Emily. Two more. At least allow me that.” 

The tears in his eyes streamed freely now as she nodded. 

“We will…. you know we'll help you. We'll do everything we can, so come to the office.” 

He didn't want to give up his space. His reminders of you, the baby grows, the information he'd gathered.

Equally, he didn't like Emily being in this space. She thought you were already dead, and he couldn't even look her in the eye. 

Reluctantly, he nodded, lifting himself up on legs weakened by insurmountable grief, and he followed her to Quantico. 

By the end of your third trimester, you wondered how you could ever have gotten so big. When you gave birth, the child inside of you would only be the size of a small pumpkin. You felt like you'd swallowed five regular size pumpkins whole, and you felt you were still expanding. 

The point worried her. She'd broken two glasses in tantrums this last week alone, measuring you every day. 

The closer you got to birth, the more agitated she grew. 

“This demon inside of you is going to kill you. I won't even have to do it myself,” she'd whispered to herself, or to you, as she took your vitals that morning. 

“Please don't say that.” 

“Why not? You're a whore, and you're going to give birth to a devil. You have seduced my soul mate, because you are a jezebel and the Lord is punishing you.” 

You'd needed all the strength you could get for these conversations. Even one tear, and she'd erupt and put a knife at your neck. With only a few weeks left, there was no saying whether she'd speed her plan along. 

“I did not seduce your soul mate,” you said as calmly as you could muster, taking deep breaths, hoping that she would mirror them and calm down. 

“Do we have to watch the fucking video again?” she spat at you, stomping around to the side of your bed and pulling out her phone. She queued up the video quickly and you averted your eyes. 

She turned them back quickly, holding your head in place as she forced you to watch your own office space. She showed you the videos of you and Spencer talking, teasing each other. She showed you the video of you insisting you were not attractive to him. She showed you the video of Spencer fucking you on the sofa, though she screamed and cut her fingernails into her skin the entire way through. 

She even showed you the video of her attempting to seduce Spencer during their office hour. It was the first video in her collection, the first time she'd set up the camera. She used your entrance as proof that you were breaking her apart from her soul mate. From Spencer. 

You were a whore who had thrown herself at him in anyway you could, and you had trapped him with a baby. 

She was going to free him from all responsibility so he could be with her. 

“My baby will be your devil,” she said as the video ended, and you forced your heart to settle. 

“It is not your baby.”

“Spencer won't know that. He doesn't know it's your baby either, and who are the authorities going to believe when I show up with his child. One paternity test later, and I'll have him, and we can be a happy family together, and we can live happily. I'll take in your devil  and raise it as my own, and we'll forget about the whore who almost ruined it all.”

The psychosis was so clearly written on her face, you were surprised no one had caught onto her state yet. She was devolving. She'd been calm, and contemplative the first week. She'd laid out her plans still, her insane plans, and seemed somewhat coherent. 

Then she'd began rambling about the devil and soul mates, and you'd pitied her, even in your fear. 

Now you were just glad she counted your office tryst as your conception date, and you'd never corrected her. 

She still believed there was a month left until your death. You knew it was days. 

You just prayed your baby could buy you some time.

“Professor?” she said as she carried away the tray of items she'd checked your vitals with

“Yes.” 

“You are not in love with Spencer Reid,” she said, as if trying to convince you. 

“No,” you said, trying to convince yourself  though it was hopeless. “I am not in love with Spencer Reid.”

The first lead in the case came on your due date. Patient confidentiality was, happily, overlooked by a few doctors when he pressed the issue, needing to know until when he was counting down. 

He'd done the rough math himself, but he needed a professional opinion. 

The lead came in the form of an email. The university was cleaning out your office to make way for a new professor, despite his insistence that you'd return, and they needed him to collect things. 

And though he knew you'd be giving birth that day, and he had run out of time, something compelled him to go and do this menial task on today of all days. 

Luke had joined him, and then so had JJ and Emily, and Penelope and Tara. Rossi had even arrived to watch you pile books into boxes that were supposed to have lived on these shelves for a long career. Everyone in the room was so busy watching him, waiting for him to crack, that it had to be him to find it. 

At first, he thought it was a hole in the couch. It was so dark and black, its curved corners giving the illusion of introversion. Then he'd touched it and felt the rough bump. 

“Penelope, here, now,” he breathed out, gasping for air as he finally pulled the tiny spy camera free and thrust it into his friends hands. 

He had a lead. He had you now. 

The first hour of labour was inconvenient only because you weren't alone. She'd been tending to you all morning, fussing over your food, trying to maintain the right amount of prenatal vitamins as she usually did, but she'd ran out of two bottles, and the pharmacy wasn't open. 

You sat still and uncomfortable, trying to not even flinch as your water broke, too afraid of death to be thinking about the life you were bringing into this world. 

The second hour ticked by much the same until she left. 

The third came, and you ceased your screams of pain, even as your hands bore holes into your sheets. She returned, and you knew there wasn't much longer until she knew. 

By hour four, she had your legs spread and was watching you deliver your baby, and you knew the same blade that would sever your umbilical cord would also end your life. 

By hour five, you were so delirious with pain that you thought you saw Spencer. You heard his voice cooing to you as you pushed. You felt his hands wipe away your sweat, smooth the hair from your eyes. You heard his voice announce your daughters birth, and you felt his lips against your skin as you finally gave up fighting and drifted into oblivion. 

[maythearo]

" Welcome back to Night Raven College's 'Ghostly Gossip'! The school's unofficial main online source for the latest news, articles and trending topics circulating around campus! "

" Who's next on the line? Yes, THE Vil Shoenheit. Someone roll out the red carpet! "

Navigation:

R. Rosehearts - T. Clover - C. Diamond - A. Trappola - D. Spade - L. Kingscholar - R. Bucchi - J. Howl - A. Ashengrotto - J. Leech - F. Leech - K. Al Asim - J. Viper - V. Schoenheit - R. Hunt - E. Felmier - I. Shroud - O. Shroud - M. Draconia - L. Vanrouge - S. Zigvolt - Silver

Design notes:

oooooh my god I'm so happy I finally got to draw the super tall monster high heels on someone!! Vil was by far, the character I had the most references saved for. I gotta say, the main inspiration to me was actually Vil's overblot form, probably my favorite design in game, mixing a bit of the religious references it had, I thought of a fallen angel for his scare-itage! I almost went with vampire, inspired on Elissabat's character, but I want to avoid as much as possible repeating the types of creatures the twst cast will be in this AU, and the vampire idea is reserved for a very obvious someone else from diasomnia!

The cons of having too many visual references and inspirations is that it's so difficult to choose only one outfit for the final version. I searched a lot of inspiration in drag, and the ones that clicked with my idea the most were some stuff Pabllo Vittar and Gottmik wore (I'm obssessed with them, you have no idea), if you squint you can see I loosely based Vil's makeup look on Gottmik's lol

There's also the two different patterns I made for Vil's dress. Neither of them were what I originally had in mind, turns out stained glass art is pretty difficult to replicate, but for now I judge these two look decent enough? I struggled to choose only one of them to put on the official character sheet, and I just went with the one on the right because it took longer for me to draw it 😭 you can consider both of them "canon" I guess? I don't think I have a preference between the two

Lore-wise I don't have any really relevant or detailed notes. Vil's personality and backstory pretty much remains the same, I think it fits in this universe as well. I could add to the story that the real reason he doesn't use his wings is because angels lose parts of their supernatural powers once they are cast out of heaven, but Vil prefers not to admit it. Also I think it would be fun if their actual angel form was one of those otherworldly cool burning wheels while this one is baisically just a cloak, for practicality, you know?

bonus doodle because I was in a good mood when I drew this:

[cy-cyborg]

Dealing with Healing and Disability in fantasy: Writing Disability

[ID: An image of the main character from Eragon, a white teenage boy with blond hair in silver armour as he sits, with his hand outstretched. On his hand is a glowing blue mark. He is visibly straining as he attempts to heal a large creature in front of him. /End ID]

I'm a massive fan of the fantasy genre, which is why it's so incredibly frustrating when I see so much resistance to adding disability representation to fantasy works. People's go-to reason for leaving us out is usually something to the effect of "But my setting has magic so disability wouldn't exist, it can just be healed!" so let's talk about magic, specifically healing magic, in these settings, and how you can use it without erasing disability from your story.

Ok, let's start with why you would even want to avoid erasing disability from a setting in the first place. I talked about this in a lot more detail in my post on The Miracle Cure. this line of thinking is another version of this trope, but applied to a whole setting (or at least, to the majority of people in the setting) instead of an individual, so it's going to run into the same issues I discussed there. To summarise the points that are relevant to this particular version of the trope though:

Not every disabled person wants or needs a cure - many of us see our disability as a part of our identity. Do difficulties come with being disabled? absolutely! It's literally part of the definition, but for some people in the disabled community, if you took our disabilities away, we would be entirely different people. While it is far from universal, there is a significant number of us who, if given a magical cure with no strings attached, would not take it. Saying no one in your setting would be disabled because these healing spells exists ignores this part of the community.

It messes with the stakes of your story - Just like how resurrecting characters or showing that this is something that is indeed possible in the setting can leave your audience feeling cheated or like they don't have to worry about a character *actually* ever dying. healing a character's disability, or establishing that disability doesn't exist in your setting because "magic" runs into the same problem. It will leave your readers or viewers feeling like they don't have to worry about your characters getting seriously hurt because it will only be temporary, which means your hero's actions carry significantly less risk, which in turn, lowers the stakes and tension if not handled very, very carefully.

It's an over-used trope - quite plainly and simply, this trope shows up a lot in the fantasy genre, to the point where I'd say it's just overused and kind of boring.

So with the "why should you avoid it" covered, let's look at how you can actually handle the topic.

Limited Access and Expensive Costs

One of the most common ways to deal with healing and disability in a fantasy setting, is to make the healing magic available, but inaccessible to most of the population. The most popular way to do that is by making the services of a magical healer capable of curing a disability really expensive to the point that most people just can't afford it. If this is the approach you're going to use, you also typically have to make that type of magic quite rare. To use D&D terms, if every first level sorcerer, bard, cleric and druid can heal a spinal injury, it's going to result in a lot of people who are able to undercut those massive prices and the expense will drop as demand goes down. If that last sentence didn't give you a hint, this is really popular method in stories that are critiquing capitalistic mindsets and ideologies, and is most commonly used by authors from the USA and other countries with a similar medical system, since it mirrors a lot of the difficulties faced by disabled Americans. If done right, this approach can be very effective, but it does need to be thought through more carefully than I think people tend to do. Mainly because a lot of fantasy stories end with the main character becoming rich and/or powerful, and so these prohibitively expensive cure become attainable by the story's end, which a lot of authors and writer's just never address. Of course, another approach is to make the availability of the magic itself the barrier. Maybe there just aren't that many people around who know the magic required for that kind of healing, so even without a prohibitive price tag, it's just not something that's an option for most people. If we're looking at a D&D-type setting, maybe you need to be an exceptionally high level to cast the more powerful healing spell, or maybe the spell requires some rare or lost material component. I'd personally advise people to be careful using this approach, since it often leads to stories centred around finding a miracle cure, which then just falls back into that trope more often than not.

Just outright state that some characters don't want/need it

Another, admittedly more direct approach, is to make it that these "cures" exist and are easily attainable, but to just make it that your character or others they encounter don't want or need it. This approach works best for characters who are born with their disabilities or who already had them for a long time before a cure was made available to them. Even within those groups though, this method works better with some types of characters than others depending on many other traits (personality, cultural beliefs, etc), and isn't really a one-size-fits-all solution, but to be fair, that's kind of the point. Some people will want a cure for their disabilities, others are content with their body's the way they are. There's a few caveats I have with this kind of approach though:

you want to make sure you, as the author, understand why some people in real life don't want a cure, and not just in a "yeah I know these people exist but I don't really get it" kind of way. I'm not saying you have to have a deep, personal understanding or anything, but some degree of understanding is required unless you want to sound like one of those "inspirational" body positivity posts that used to show up on Instagram back in the day.

Be wary when using cultural beliefs as a reasoning. It can work, but when media uses cultural beliefs as a reason for turning down some kind of cure, it's often intending to critique extreme beliefs about medicine, such as the ones seen in some New Age Spirituality groups and particularly intense Christian churches. As a general rule of thumb, it's probably not a good idea to connect these kinds of beliefs to disabled people just being happy in their bodies. Alternatively, you also need to be mindful of the "stuck in time" trope - a trope about indigenous people who are depicted as primitive or, as the name suggests, stuck in an earlier time, for "spurning the ways of the white man" which usually includes medicine or the setting's equivalent magic. I'm not the best person to advise you on how to avoid this specific trope, but my partner (who's Taino) has informed me of how often it shows up in fantasy specifically and we both thought it was worth including a warning at least so creators who are interested in this method know to do some further research.

Give the "cures" long-lasting side effects

Often in the real world, when a "cure" for a disability does exist, it's not a perfect solution and comes with a lot of side effects. For example, if you loose part of your arm in an accident, but you're able to get to a hospital quickly with said severed arm, it can sometimes be reattached, but doing so comes at a cost. Most people I know who had this done had a lot of issues with nerve damage, reduced strength, reduced fine-motor control and often a great deal of pain with no clear source. Two of the people I know who's limbs were saved ended up having them optionally re-amputated only a few years later. Likewise, I know many people who are paraplegics and quadriplegics via spinal injuries, who were able to regain the use of their arms and/or legs. However, the process was not an easy one, and involved years of intense physiotherapy and strength training. For some of them, they need to continue to do this work permanently just to maintain use of the effected limbs, so much so that it impacts their ability to do things like work a full-time job and engage in their hobbies regularly, and even then, none of them will be able bodied again. Even with all that work, they all still experience reduced strength and reduced control of the limbs. depending on the type, place and severity of the injury, some people are able to get back to "almost able bodied" again - such was the case for my childhood best friend's dad, but they often still have to deal with chronic pain from the injury or chronic fatigue.

Even though we are talking about magic in a fantasy setting, we can still look to real-life examples of "cures" to get ideas. Perhaps the magic used has a similar side effect. Yes, your paraplegic character can be "cured" enough to walk again, but the magic maintaining the spell needs a power source to keep it going, so it draws on the person's innate energy within their body, using the very energy the body needs to function and do things like move their limbs. They are cured, but constantly exhausted unless they're very careful, and if the spell is especially strong, the body might struggle to move at all, resulting in something that looks and functions similar to the nerve damage folks with spinal injuries sometimes deal with that causes that muscle weakness and motor control issues. Your amputee might be able to have their leg regrown, but it will always be slightly off. The regrown leg is weaker and causes them to walk with a limp, maybe even requiring them to use a cane or other mobility aid.

Some characters might decide these trade-offs are worth it, and while this cures their initial disability, it leaves them with another. Others might simply decide the initial disability is less trouble than these side effects, and choose to stay as they are.

Consider if these are actually cures

Speaking of looking to the real world for ideas, you might also want to consider whether these cures are doing what the people peddling them are claiming they do. Let's look at the so-called autism cures that spring up every couple of months as an example.

Without getting into the… hotly debated specifics, there are many therapies that are often labelled as "cures" for autism, but in reality, all they are doing is teaching autistic people how to make their autistic traits less noticeable to others. This is called masking, and it's a skill that often comes at great cost to an autistic person's mental health, especially when it's a behaviour that is forced on them. Many of these therapies give the appearance of being a cure, but the disability is still there, as are the needs and difficulties that come with it, they're just hidden away. From an outside perspective though, it often does look like a success, at least in the short-term. Then there are the entirely fake cures with no basis in reality, the things you'll find from your classic snake-oil salesmen. Even in a fantasy setting where real magic exists, these kinds of scams and misleading treatments can still exist. In fact, I think it would make them even more common than they are in the real world, since there's less suspension of disbelief required for people to fall for them. "What do you mean this miracle tonic is a scam? Phil next door can conjure flames in his hand and make the plants grow with a snap of his fingers, why is it so hard to believe this tonic could regrow my missing limb?"

I think the only example of this approach I've seen, at least recently, is from The Owl House. The magic in this world can do incredible things, but it works in very specific and defined ways. Eda's curse (which can be viewed as an allegory for many disabilities and chronic illnesses) is seemingly an exception to this, and as such, nothing is able to cure it. Treat it, yes, but not cure it. Eda's mother doesn't accept this though, and seeks out a cure anyway and ends up falling for a scam who's "treatments" just make things worse.

In your own stories, you can either have these scams just not work, or kind of work, but in ways that are harmful and just not worth it, like worse versions of the examples in the previous point. Alternatively, like Eda, it's entirely reasonable that a character who's been the target of these scams before might just not want to bother anymore. Eda is a really good example of this approach handled in a way that doesn't make her sad and depressed about it either. She's tried her mum's methods, they didn't work, and now she's found her own way of dealing with it that she's happy with. She only gets upset when her boundaries are ignored by Luz and her mother.

Think about how the healing magic is actually working

If you have a magic system that leans more on the "hard magic" side of things, a great way to get around the issue of healing magic erasing disability is to stop and think about how your healing magic actually works.

My favourite way of doing this is to make healing magic work by accelerating the natural processes of your body. Your body will, given enough time (assuming it remains infection-free) close a slash from a sword and mend a broken bone, but it will never regrow it's own limbs. It will never heal damage to it's own spinal cord. It will never undo whatever causes autism or fix it's own irregularities. Not without help. Likewise, healing magic alone won't do any of these things either, it's just accelerating the existing process and usually, by extension making it safer, since a wound staying open for an hour before you get to a healer is much less likely to get infected than one that slowly and naturally heals over a few weeks. In one of my own works, I take this even further by making it that the healing magic is only accelerating cell growth and repair, but the healer has to direct it. In order to actually heal, the healer needs to know the anatomy of what they're fixing to the finest detail. A spell can reconnect a torn muscle to a bone, but if you don't understand the structures that allow that to happen in the first place, you're likely going to make things worse. For this reason, you won't really see people using this kind of magic to, say, regrow limbs, even though it technically is possible. A limb is a complicated thing. The healer needs to be able to perfectly envision all the bones, the cartilage, the tendons and ligaments, the muscles (including the little ones, like those found in your skin that make your hair stand on end and give you goose bumps), the fat and skin tissues, all the nerves, all the blood vessels, all the structures within the bone that create your blood. Everything, and they need to know how it all connects, how it is supposed to move and be able to keep that clearly in their mind simultaneously while casting. Their mental image also has to match with the patient's internal "map" of the body and the lost limb, or they'll continue to experience phantom limb sensation even if the healing is successful. It's technically possible, but the chances they'll mess something up is too high, and so it's just not worth the risk to most people, including my main character.

Put Restrictions on the magic

This is mostly just the same advice as above, but for softer magic systems. put limits and restrictions on your healing magic. These can be innate (so things the magic itself is just incapable of doing) or external (things like laws that put limitations on certain types of magic and spells).

An example of internal restriction can be seen in how some people interpret D&D's higher level healing spells like regenerate (a 7th level spell-something most characters won't have access to for quite some time). The rules as written specify that disabilities like lost limbs can be healed using this spell, but some players take this to mean that if a character was born with the disability in question, say, born without a limb, regenerate would only heal them back to their body's natural state, which for them, is still disabled.

An external restriction would be that your setting has outlawed healing magic, perhaps because healing magic carries a lot of risks for some reason, eithe to the caster or the person being healed, or maybe because the healing magic here works by selectively reviving and altering the function of cells, which makes it a form of necromancy, just on a smaller scale. Of course, you can also use the tried and true, "all magic is outlawed" approach too. In either case, it's something that will prevent some people from being able to access it, despite it being technically possible. Other external restrictions could look like not being illegal, per say, but culturally frowned upon or taboo where your character is from.

But what if I don't want to do any of this?

Well you don't have to. These are just suggestions to get you thinking about how to make a world where healing magic and disability exist, but they aren't the only ways. Just the ones I thought of.

Of course, if you'd still rather make a setting where all disability is cured because magic and you just don't want to think about it any deeper, I can't stop you. I do however, want to ask you to at least consider where you are going to draw the line. Disability, in essence, is what happens when the body stops (or never started) functioning "normally". Sometimes that happens because of an injury, sometimes it's just bad luck, but the boundary between disabled and not disabled is not as solid as I think a lot of people expect it to be, and we as a society have a lot of weird ideas about what is and isn't a disability that just, quite plainly and simply, aren't consistent. You have to remember, a magic system won't pick and choose the way we humans do, it will apply universally, regardless of our societal hang-ups about disability.

What do I mean about this?

Well, consider for a moment, what causes aging? it's the result of our body not being able to repair itself as effectively as it used to. It's the body not being able to perform that function "normally". So in a setting where all disability is cured, there would be no aging. No elderly people. No death from old age. If you erase disability, you also erase natural processes like aging. magic won't pick and choose like that, not if you want it to be consistent.

Ok, ok, maybe that's too much of a stretch, so instead, let's look at our stereotypical buff hero covered in scars because he's a badass warrior. but in a world where you can heal anything, why would anything scar? Even if it did, could another healing spell not correct that too? Scars are part of the body's natural healing process, but if no natural healing occurred, why would a scar form? Scars are also considered disabling in and of themselves too, especially large ones, since they aren't as flexible or durable as normal skin and can even restrict growth and movement.

Even common things like needing glasses are, using this definition of disability at least, a disability. glasses are a socially accepted disability aid used to correct your eyes when they do not function "normally".

Now to be fair, in reality, there are several definitions of disability, most of which include something about the impact of society. For example, in Australia (according to the Disability Royal Commission), we define disability as "An evolving concept that results from the interaction between a person with impairment(s) and attitudinal and environmental barriers that hinder their full and effective participation in society on an equal basis with others." - or in laymen's terms, the interaction between a person's impairment and societal barriers like people not making things accessible or holding misinformed beliefs about your impairment (e.g. people in wheelchairs are weaker than people who walk). Under a definition like this, things like scars and needing glasses aren't necessarily disabilities (most of the time) but that's because of how our modern society sees them. The problem with using a definition like this though to guide what your magic system will get rid of, is that something like a magic system won't differentiate between an "impairment" that has social impacts that and one that doesn't. It will still probably get rid of anything that is technically an example of your body functioning imperfectly, which all three of these things are. The society in your setting might apply these criteria indirectly, but really, why would they? Very few people like the side effects of aging on the body (and most people typically don't want to die), the issues that come with scars or glasses are annoying (speaking as someone with both) and I can see a lot of people getting rid of them when possible too. If they don't then it's just using the "not everyone wants it approach" I mentioned earlier. If there's some law or some kind of external pressure to push people away from fixing these more normalised issues, then it's using the "restrictions" method I mentioned earlier too.

Once again, you can do whatever you like with your fantasy setting, but it's something I think that would be worth thinking about at least.

[mymarifae]

yesterday someone on strawpage asked me what made me go from a dr. ratio hater to a dr. ratio enjoyer and that response took me. four hours . to put together. so you know what i'm going to share my thoughts here too. here's why i like this ⬇️ jackass a lot now!!!!!!!!!!!

he's a tricky character! the first interactions we get with him are so off-putting and unpleasant that i feel like a lot of people are like "wow, this guy is a self-absorbed dick, i don't respect him at all. can he go away" - i know that was my reaction! and he IS a dick. but like. listen.

it's really, really, REALLY easy to misconstrue 90% of his words and actions. it doesn't help that he has the speech patterns of a haughty asshole. and it alsooooooo doesn't help that aventurine's stunt in penacony required orchestrating a "betrayal" between himself and ratio. i think some of the things ratio said during All That constitutes the bulk of most people's persisting dislike of him. So:

1. everything ratio did and said was exactly what aventurine asked him to. this was all pre-negotiated. i think aventurine's insecurities acting up and the way he started doubting whether ratio was truly just acting threw some people off as well, but there is plentyyyyyy of evidence that no, ratio does not hate him and was not waiting for the perfect opportunity to stab him in the back and rid himself of this "damned gambler" but i'll get more into that in a sec ok? i have another bullet point to make first. and it's important so read it carefully ok? promise?

2. any comments from ratio pertaining to aventurine's race were said to fuel the narrative SUNDAY was building in his head probably from the second he learned which ipc executive would be coming to penacony.

aventurine's plan hinged on sunday's prejudice. he needed sunday to think of him as a liar, a cheat, a silver-tongued honeypot - basically, every avgin stereotype floating around in the universe. he needed to invoke a sense of insult. how could someone so... despicable invade the family's sweet dream? he needed sunday to be so wound up over his presence in penacony that he couldn't resist the urge to put The Vile Avgin back in his place. idk THIS ("this" being the real world parallels of how the catholic church ethnically cleansed the rroma during the 16th and 17th centuries) is a whooooole issue in itself that i don't have the time to go into rn because we're supposed to be talking about dr. ratio. oops

anyway the important thing to understand is that ratio absolutely does not look down upon aventurine's heritage. he was acting, with aventurine's blessing, to feed into sunday's biases. and he wasn't even good at it 😭... like look at this exchange from 2.0:

one snarky comment from aventurine and his ass is immediately Apologizing. his ass that's supposed to be acting like he doesn't respect or like aventurine At All. in fact, aventurine's "even under the watchful eye of the harmony..." comment feels a liiiiittle pointed lol. it's a subtle warning to ratio! like, "hey, dumbass, did you forget we're being monitored at all times?? knock it off."

and like this isn't even the only time ratio breaks character and puts aventurine's plan in jeopardy. he learns nothing from this interaction because it's worse next time. lmao:

this stupid fuckignb note. is extremely significant in manyyyy ways so we have to talk about it. first of all, stopping to check on aventurine's condition and to say "tell me if you can't hold on any longer" RIGHT IN FRONT OF SUNDAY (basically, since the family was monitoring everything and a few minutes later we see one of gopher wood's birds hanging out in that general area)?? BRO

if he wanted to, this brief interaction would have been enough for sunday to call their bluff. and aventurine knew that; many of his lines here feel like attempts to redirect ratio into picking the act back up and to stop trying to help him.

next, the stupid fuckignb note's contents. yes yes the second half is very sweet and it's all anyone ever wants to talk about and i understand because it probably meant the world to aventurine especially in that moment but i need you to look at the first half

ratio gave aventurine the answer..? he. gave him the answer. you might be wondering why this matters at all and i'll just have to redirect you to his actions in 1.6, wherein he notably refused to give any answers and let asta, stelle, and like everyone else on the space station flounder, learn from their floundering, and - ultimately - Grow

ratio is a teacher through and through. if someone isn't one of those "geniuses" he wants nothing to do with, they're a potential student in his eyes. and everything that happened in mundane troubles was the space station's final exam, so to speak. his inaction wasn't out of cruelty or because he didn't care about the fate of all the people on the station - obviously he did, because he was the one using the phase flame to teleport the missing researchers to safety...

he posited himself as a safety net in case things went horribly terribly wrong, but he left most of it up to stelle and asta, because he believed in them. they had all the information they needed; they just needed to figure out how to utilize it. and if they failed, well... they had their safety net, and failure is a learning experience too. like, ratio wants people to learn. he wants them to have all the skills and knowledge they could possibly need to take charge of their lives.

the "geniuses" of the world, the head honchos, the impossibly rich 0.0001%? whatever you want to call them, there's always this Upper Level in society that can do things "ordinary" people can never dream of doing. their way of life is simply unattainable. ratio disagrees. he believes that anyone can do anything, if someone would only take the time to teach them. and he's chosen to be one of those teachers! instead of sitting on his ass and just theorizing about a better, fairer society, he's doing what he can to make a difference.

(not so self-centered after all, huh?)

so like. when you remember how much of a teacher ratio is, like this is a philosophy ingrained in his very bone marrow, it's a pretty big fucking deal that he just GAVE aventurine the answer he needed. it shows how concerned he was! and how guilty he felt about the part he had to play!!!! his words and actions were so far removed from his actual thoughts and feelings that he literally HAD to put the whole operation at risk to remind aventurine that he doesn't view him the same way sunday did, give him a safety net, AND let him know it's there. because at this point he felt that the plan was too risky and he cared too much

like honestly i think he hoped aventurine would read the note before putting on his "performance" and readjust accordingly. but then he didn't <3 and acheron had to remind him that it was still sitting in his pocket <3 if she hadn't said anything about it i don't think he would have opened it adgsmbfdndhfbkjjbg <3 oh i love a mess <3 anyway i think this serves as a suitable refute for the "dr. ratio was racist towards aventurine" sentiment that continues to fly around in some parts of the fandom, so? MOVING ON

i ended up talking about this already, but looking more closely at how ratio looks at the world was a biiiiiig part of why he grew on me So Much. it's all actually really noble and worth admiring. again, he just talks like a dick so it's easy to get confused LMFAO

he never received nous' recognition not just because he "cares too much" (as you'll see some people vaguely claim and then not elaborate), but because he fundamentally disagrees with the ideology that allows the genius society, the path of erudition, and even nous themself to exist.

there's like... a certain "threshold" of intelligence and knowledge that nous operates off of. the unknown, the near-or-actually-impossible to comprehend, things that the average person would never be able to grasp and would never care to try because it's simply beyond them - that's all nous cares about. but ratio doesn't believe this threshold exists. he doesn't believe in knowledge that cannot be taught. just to reiterate: he believes anyone can learn anything if someone teaches them, and they will care if they know someone will be there to teach them.

but if anyone can follow the footsteps of geniuses, then Genius is no longer a superior echelon of society. the end goal the erudition seeks is no longer "beyond the limits of mortal wisdom."

nous rejected ratio because he rejected them - long before he fully understood that he did so.

i think he only ever tried to seek their recognition because it was expected so highly of him. like, he was a prodigy child, absorbing new information and collecting phds at the speed of light. of course every adult around him was like, "oh yeah this kid's a future genius society member" and then they told him this. over and over. and he was like, Okay, so this is the path i'm supposed to embark on, and i must do it and i must succeed (or i'll let them down; i'll be a disappointment, a failure, a waste of resources and all the hopes and dreams everyone's pinned onto me.)

he spent a good few years trying and failing to conform to nous' surprisingly (ironically?) boxed-in mindset. but they ignored him, probably because they predicted that even IF they recognized him while he seemingly ascribed more closely to the erudition's beliefs, he would ultimately wander off and "waste" time trying to nurture the achievements of "mere" mortals instead. and then he had to sit there and be like ok i apparently fucking failed at the one thing i thought i was supposed to do with my life, What Now

and this results in the dr ratio we meet in game. still haughty, still has an attitude problem and a bad temper, still has a tendency to talk down to people (i think though at this point his condescending tone is more of a defense mechanism and a way of isolating himself from others before he is once again rejected from a "part" of society after trying, trying, and then Failing to conform to a box), but! considerably more humble and far more focused on others than himself. he cares, ok. he cares an awful fucking lot. he believes in the good of humanity. humanity's ability to do good, to grow... to find the answers to its problems, implement them, and save itself.

plus, "character that's very admirable and very kind and loving IN THEIR OWN WAY (<- this is important because ratio isn't any of these things in a traditional sense and that's another part of why i've come to like him; it's interesting) but is cursed to just sort of talk like a total jackass forever" is an extremely entertaining concept

one other thing that's less significant than realizing ^^^^^^^ALL OF THAT. GOD .but still played a big part in my warming up to him, is how fond he is of those stupid rubber ducks and the goofy poses his statues are in. and also how his very first introductory cutscene is him playing chess BADLY (😭😭😭😭) against himself. that speaks to a sense of whimsy and playfulness that he doesn't have much of an outlet for. which i find... cute. and an aspect of his character that's a ton of fun to play around with

IN CONCLUSION: i mean he's okay i guess

[littleeyesofpallas]

Okay okay catching up on Bleach because I was putting it off...

So the soul king has an actual name now and it's apparently Adnyeus(?*)[アドナイェウス] which at a glance I thought was some kind of weird mashup of Hebrew Adonai[אֲדֹנָי] and Latin deus as a kind of play on Yhwach's name being based on the tetragrammaton. But actually it's just the name Aidoneus[Ἀϊδωνεύς] which was an old epithet for the Greek Hades, supposedly meaning "The Unseen" which somewhat superficially fits for the Soul King as a king of the dead/underworld.

*(I have no idea where anyone is getting these romanizations I see flying around...)

It's actually not the first time the name has come up. some eagle eyed fans caught that what appears to be "ADNYEUS" was shown back in episode 6 of TYBW in Ryuuken's notes, above the illustration of the castle Silbern. And then at the end of the previous season the anime added a chant to Yhwach's Auswählen that ran:

Kakageyo Gin no Monshou, Haiiro no Sougen, Hikari ni Uzumoreta, Enkan no Michi, Menou no Gankyu, Ougon no Shita, Zugai no Sakazuki, ADNYEUS no Hitsugi. Kakageru mono wa, Omae no Shinzou: AUSWÄHLEN [掲げよ 銀の紋章 灰色の草原 光に埋もれた円環の途 瑪瑙の眼球 黄金の舌 頭蓋の盃 アドナイェウスの棺 掲げるものは お前の心臓 聖別(アウスヴェーレン)] "Raise up Crest of Silver, Ash-colored(gray) Meadow, Circular Road hidden in (the) Light, Eye(s) of Agate, Tongue of Gold, Grail* of Skull, Coffin of Adnyeus. That which is Raised up is Your Heart: Auswählen."

*notably in one of Uryuu's German chants, the Japanese word for a [杯]:"sake cup" was paired with the German word Gral:"Grail", and [盃] and [杯] are alternate kanji for the same word. At the most literal the chant in Japanese just uses the word for "sake cup" like the one he uses for the schrift eucharist, but I feel like the more implicitly western imagery evoked by "skull Grail" or maybe "...chalice" is more in line with the ongoing aesthetic of Quincy spells

I'm not actually in a position to go doing a real deep dive on this but it does seem like at a glance there are associations with that alternate title with a specific incongruous variation of the god of the underworld--that is to say: characterizations of him under this epithets are not consistent with other more common interpretstions-- where he's actually got a lot of strong sun iconography. This of course maps almost perfectly with a bunch of stuff I've ranted on about a few different times in my Bleach ramblings.

Incidentally it is also the scientific namesake of the Papilio aidoneus... a black butterfly... In the first place Bleach's hell-butterflies were already a play on the real world association of butterflies and death, often either as psychopomps or themselves the souls of the dead. That they tie back in to the Soul King himself isn't too big a stretch.

As for this "triplet world" thing... We were already told that Hueco Mundo isn't actually it's own formal realm, it's the interstitial realm that just naturally exists in the space between one world and the next. So it kinda annoys me that this feels like it's really only being acknowledged because after the fact it's just where a big chunk of Bleach's plot happened, rather than actually being cosmologically on par with the other two.

Anyway the translations going around I notice are a little sloppy, mostly in that a few are clearly just machine translated and so ignored the use of Bleach specific terminology, like "reishi" and "kishi" so here's my quick breakdown of it (thank god it's short...)

原初の海から分かたれた尸魂界,現世, 虚圏の三つの世界。 The Three Worlds of Soul Society, This (the mortal) World, Hueco Mundo divided* from the Sea of Origin. 遍く魂魄の流れを司る礎であり, かつ世界の楔たる存在によって, The universal flow of spirits is the foundation to control, as well as the lynchpin of the world which is due to existence, 霊子の世界,器子の世界,砂の楽土の三世界が分離され, the Three Worlds of The World of Reishi, The World of Kishi, The Paradise of Sand are detached*, 『生』と『死』が隔てられた。 "Life" and "Death" were isolated*.

*so interestingly all three of these different words could be translated into english as "separated" but seem to be fairly distinct contextual differences: the first means like cutting one big thing up into smaller things the "A came from B" dynamic being the focus, the second means to be separated out almost like being categorized, and the third is to be isolated or alienated.

So first it's saying the three worlds came from one sea of origin, and that the flow of spirits between those three worlds is the key to existence being what it is, which is to say three distinct realms where death and life are these things that can never coexist. All of which is stuff we really already knew.

Also we're supposed to have just completely forgotten about Hell since it's not the current plot line, I guess? I anything the Three Worlds should be Soul Society, the Material World, and Hell, with Hueco Mundo as the interstitial void/aether, like it was originally defined as. That would at least map more sensibly onto the buddhist 3 realms of Form(Humans & animals: those bound by their physicality), Formless(Deva & Asura: those who exist in a hightened mental/spiritual state), and Desire(Preta & those in Hell: those defined by their strong need for what they lack)

Maybe that only real point of interest is the reference to Hueco Mundo as suna no rakudo[砂の楽土], a "paradise of sand." In this voice I think the idea is that if life and death being separate realms is a bad thing that Yhwach seeks to rectify, then by being an inbetween realm, Hueco Mundo is a paradise, because it's a place of neither life nor death? But if it is a place of rest and comfort then I wonder if that doesn't validate my thoughts on the Vastolorde being the natural path of development for a soul in reincarnation afterall?

That aside, this mostly just lines up with existing Buddhist/Hindu parallels that were always pretty obviously implied but not so directly touched on. Once again things I've babbled about in some form or another already... I'm not about to go digging them all up right now.

[dotster001]

Requests are open!! May I request a Lilia x reader that is lovers to enemies?? (You can choose why or if the ending is angst or fluff.) stay safe!!

A Lesson in Humanity

Summary: Lilia x gn!reader

CW: death, war (not on screen), injury, (how do I say this next one without spoiling the whole thing? Um...) There are drugs involved, angst, alternate universe

M/F=whichever parental term you'd have Silver refer to you by.

A/N: this ask....when I started it I thought it would be short and easy.... 😂

Your kingdom was on the outskirts of the Valley of Thorns. Despite the fact that in the last century, nobody had even heard from the queen, let alone glimpsed her army, tensions were always high, both for the fae who lived within the human kingdom, and the humans who lived in the fae one. 

But a new era was dawning. And you'd worked hard to get here. You'd quickly risen through the ranks, and become your Queen's favorite diplomat. When you shared your dream of peaceful relations, she had fallen into the dream right alongside you.

So here you were. At the palace in the Valley of Thorns. Awaiting an audience with the Queen of the dark fae. You were surprised to see an older woman, similar to what the Queen was described as, but aged like a fine wine, and with an aura of power that nearly sent you to your knees.

As she walked in, behind her walked a boy, no less formidable, his emerald eyes icy and piercing.

And behind him, with a light hearted skip in his step, a man. His dark hair in a loose braid that exposed the magenta streaks in his hair. His eyes were just as incisive as the boys, but his face was less lined, less tense. He seemed to be enjoying things.

“Y/N L/N. Welcome to our kingdom. We are most excited to see what changes you can bring to our court,” the queen (?) said.

You bowed deeply, taking the opportunity to collect your thoughts in the midst of these very intimidating people. 

“I am honored to be given this opportunity. I hope I don't let you down,” You said as you rose from your bow.

“See that you don't.”

The first visit was spent with you doing most of the talking, discussing where your kingdom was at in the modern era, discussing ways you hoped to improve relations, offering up various items you'd been given permission to trade in order to set up a trade route between your nations. You were exhausted. The two pairs of emerald eyes seemed to be searching your soul, while the magenta pair seemed thoroughly amused.

At length, you were dismissed for the evening, and the man with magenta eyes escorted you to your room.

“Chin up. You did well,” he said lightly as you walked.

It was the first time you'd heard him speak, and you were startled by the deep tone.

“Oh. Uh, thank you,” you choked out.

“Fu fu, you can relax around me. I'm trying to achieve the same things you are.”

He stopped walking, and held out a hand to you.

“Lilia Vanrouge,” he said.

You knew that name. Why did you know that name?

“Y/N L/N,” you shook his hand in return.

“Word of advice, don't give the fae your name,” he grinned maliciously.

You held back an eye roll. “Aren't we trying to do away with the old stereotypes?”

His grin deepened, and his eyes darkened. “That's not a stereotype, darling human.”

You didn't believe him, you really didn't. But he was definitely holding onto the bit for a slightly uncomfortable amount of time. Maybe fae humor was just different.

“Anyway, I'm sure you'll learn all about that during your stay here. Just as I'll learn about your human customs when I live with you.”

“Are you the fae diplomat, then?” You asked.

“Of course I am! Don't I seem so reliable?” 

He began walking again, and you hastened your gait to catch up. For someone with such short legs, he was fast.

“In the spirit of honesty, Y/N, the reason you recognize my name is because you have heard of me.” He stopped abruptly, turned to you, and gave a mock salute. “General Lilia Vanrouge of her majesty's armies.”

You knew fae lived for a long time. But this man was a murderer. He'd killed many humans in his time. He was the Boogeyman that parents told their children about. And now he was fighting for peace? 

You almost couldn't believe this was the person whose name was only spoken in whispers.

“You're confused. But that's fine. You're young. When you live a couple hundred years, you gain a perspective on things. Rest assured, I am the largest proponent of peace in this kingdom. I am your ally. And I will do what I need to do to make things right,” he said firmly. And you believed him. Seven help you, but you really believed him. So you nodded, and he smiled brightly. He pointed to the door down the hall.

“That's where you'll be staying. If you need me, just say my name, and I'll be there.”

And in a cascade of pink sparks, he was gone.

….

You'd both fallen hard. Perhaps it was your shared passion for a similar goal. Perhaps it was the allure of being from different species. Perhaps it was the day you'd seen him training shirtless, and couldn't look away.

But your relationship was a fire that only fueled the desire to bring the relations between your kingdoms closer. You complimented each other. Brought out the strengths in each other. And the last three years had breezed by, both of your dreams coming closer and closer to fruition.

Lilia broke the kiss you'd been trapped in for the last five minutes, and breathed against your lips.

“You should come live with me.”

“You say that everytime we're alone together,” you giggled, chasing his lips, him playfully dodging.

“And I mean it every time. Come live with me.”

“I don't think that my queen would be pleased to lose her favorite diplomat.”

“Sometimes I think she's in love with you, too, and she's using your position to keep you from me.”

“Very funny,” you snickered, “she'd rather the three of us be a package deal.”

“Fair,” he whispered, kissing you again, seeming to distract himself with you by accident, before pulling away again.

“But I'm really serious this time,” he said sternly, reaching into his pocket, and pulling out a black ring.

“Lilia,” you breathed out.

“I've been thinking about how we aren't getting any younger.” 

You held back a snort at that. He looked exactly the same as the day you met him. But you remembered like it was yesterday the day he'd noticed a single silver strand in your hair. Just one. That's all it had taken for him to lock himself in his head for an hour as he held you tightly. You hadn't had any since, and you'd been pretty certain it was probably from stress, but Lilia had been a little shaky ever since then.

“We love each other. We shouldn't let that slip away,” he whispered.

You found yourself nodding, giving into his love filled eyes, but as you felt the cold ring slip onto your finger, you spoke up.

“One condition. We'll be engaged, but we won't get married until we've brought about peace.”

He groaned. “That could take forever!”

“Think of it as a way to celebrate the future unification of our people.”

He whined, imitating a child.

“Fine, but only if you live with me,” he pouted.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't hold back a grin. 

“Okay, Vanrouge. I think we can work that out.”

….

The letters from home were….concerning. You'd thought you were making progress, but the queen had just announced her engagement to a fae duke she had met during one of her visits to the Valley of Thorns. And the reactions were less than ideal.

You put away the reading glasses that you were using, and rubbed your eyes with a groan. It always felt like one step forward, ten steps back. 

Lilia would not be excited to postpone the wedding again. When you'd gotten the newest prescription of reading glasses, he'd been far more insisting about getting married sooner rather than later. But you intended to make him keep his promise.

“Why are you so distressed?” A voice called.

You turned to see the young fae prince, watching you expectantly.

Over the years you'd learned that he seemed cold, but that didn't mean anything. He was a sweet kid. He viewed Lilia as a father. It was endearing. A glimpse at a future you could have one day.

”I'm alright, your highness. Just feeling overworked.”

He tilted his head to the side, thinking. “Perhaps grandmother would allow you and Lilia to go on a trip.”

“That sounds nice, your highness, but I don't have time for-” you trailed off as you heard shouting in the hall outside, some knights bursting into your study and talking over themselves.

That is until they saw the prince, and shut themselves up, bowing deeply and apologizing to the prince.

You sighed internally. Both you and Lilia knew that treating the boy like a god was leaving him very lonely. You'd both been discussing ways to socialize him a bit more, but it was just as difficult as bringing lasting peace. And it didn't help that, despite his youth, he already possessed unmatched power.

“What's going on?” You interrupted, making the knights turn back to you.

“General Lilia, he-”

“We tried to stop them-”

Thunder boomed outside, and you quickly turned to the prince.

“Your highness, I'm sure he's fine,” you assured, trying to calm down what was already a torrential downpour. He turned to you, eyes distressed, and he nodded, only to be interrupted by the knights.

“He's not.”

“We're doing what we can, but-” 

“It looks bad.”

“Where is he?” You asked, grabbing Malleus' hand as you stood.

“Medical wing.”

You intended to walk Malleus and yourself to the medical wing, but the world around you burst into green sparks and darkness, and the next thing you knew you were looking at a non responsive Lilia.

“Thank you, your highness,” you groaned, trying to catch your bearings again.

He didn't respond, simply staring at Lilia. You looked over at a doctor, and they shook their heads. You released a sob, and fell to the floor, crying into his stomach. Thunder boomed, and you felt Malleus' much smaller hand fit into yours, squeezing it tightly. You sat up, and pulled him into what you hoped was a comforting hug. He didn't cry, but you could feel him shaking.

“Oh crumbs!” You heard a shout, followed by a sharp intake of breath, as the bed next to you jostled.

You looked over and saw Lilia staring at you with wide eyes.

“Sevens! You scared the hell out of me!” You sobbed, throwing your arms around him. “Don't ever do that again!”

“I don't intend to. The underworld seems very boring,” he groaned. Before you could ask, you were unceremoniously pulled away as the medics began to work on him again.

You turned to Malleus, but he was gone.

“What happened?” You asked over the hubbub.

“Apparently the Queen was betrothed to a human lord, when she was just a child, and he's not happy that she broke it off for a fae. He's sending an army, and I got run through by his scout,” he laughed bitterly. “I'm getting old, Y/N, I'd never have missed him in my heyday.”

“Oh hush, middle aged is not old,” you laughed through the tension, brushing away more tears. This was not good. Not for Lilia, not for you, not for your dreams….and not for the kingdoms. But at least he was alive.

Green sparks filled your vision, and Malleus had returned.

“My grandmother wants an audience with you when you can move, Lilia.”

Lilia nodded, and reached out for Malleus. “It's going to be okay. I promise.”

The next week went by in a blur. Even though Lilia had assured you that now that he'd seen the underworld he had no intention of going back, there were several rough nights, where he was racked with fever as infection came and went.

The second he was allowed to leave the bed, he took his requested audience with the queen. After a tense hour, he had sat you down on the sofa in your study, as he paced. At length, he sighed and turned to you.

“An army is indeed coming. It's nothing we can't handle, but considering how injured I was, the queen is rightfully concerned.”

You nodded.

“She has asked me to take the prince, and live in the forest with him until she deems it safe. In the meantime, I'm supposed to teach him, train him, and make sure that I heal properly. Come with me.”

You bit your lip. “Is that an option right now? Won't they need me, at least on the human side of things?”

“This isn't the time for a diplomat. This is the time where the royals have to hold the discussion. This is the time where advisors write up a peace treatise, and make promises. They don't need diplomats until later. And I'm certain your queen would rather know you were safe with me until she needs you.”

He made good points. And you had no idea how long this would go on. The thought of being without Lilia after having to see his dead body was not a thought you enjoyed having. So you agreed. Despite your hesitation, you decided to trust him.

….

The cabin was quaint. It was cozy,  very domestic, and, after banning Lilia from the kitchen, it was very safe. And with Malleus, you could almost pretend the three of you were the picture perfect family. Lilia handled the magic training, you handled the literature and the manners, and the emotional aspect of parenting. (Lilia had tried that last one, but had ended up making the young prince cry. Now only you are in charge of emotional development.) 

A warrior-strategist, and a scholar. The perfect parenting team to make one well rounded individual. Hopefully.

Lilia was in contact with the queen, but evidently the army had been more formidable than anyone could have expected from a rebel offshoot. Evidently, some fae had joined this human in his crusade, also unhappy at the attempts to bridge the gap.

You had attempted early on to keep track of the passage of time, but soon lost track. It was long enough that Malleus had had a growth spurt, and now towered over both you and Lilia. He was, evidently, in his angsty teenage phase, despite being a couple hundred years old. But in this time, he'd grown strong, learned self defense, and gained control over his magic.

It was wonderful to watch him grow. But the longer you were here, the more concerned you got for the future of your dreams.

“Y/N, I'm back,” Lilia called. You and Malleus were in the kitchen making dinner. Lilia had been out scavenging for berries as a treat for after dinner.

“In the kitchen!” You called. He peaked in.

“Can you come out here, please? I need to talk to you.” 

His expression looked serious, so you gave Malleus a couple instructions on what to do next, then walked out into the living space with Lilia. He was facing the window.

“Is it news from home?” 

“No. Please sit.”

You sat down, waiting with nerves on edge about what he didn't want to say in front of Malleus.

He turned to you, and you noticed a bundle in his arms. Then the bundle moved.

“What is seven's name?” You stood up, rushing to him. 

A child. Not just a child. A baby.

“Lilia, what is this?”

“I would think that was self explanatory, my love,” he snickered, gently passing you the baby boy. He was beautiful. And very asleep.

“His parents-”

Lilia shook his head, removing his coat, and setting down the basket of berries.

“I can't explain it, but he's been abandoned for a long time. No one is coming for him.”

“How do you know?”

“The magic on him serves a very specific purpose. No one is coming for him.”

The boy opened his eyes, his auroral hues blinking up at you sleepily. You were so absorbed in them, that you were surprised when you felt Lilia 's arms wrap around the both of you.

“You're a good parent. You've proved it with Malleus.” He whispered in your ear, a seductive lilt in his tone. “And a human child raised by a human diplomat, and their fae general husband, alongside the future fae king, would further the relations of our people.”

You nodded slowly.

“Can we keep him?” He whispered, his lips pressed directly to the shell of your ear.

You looked at the boy, then at Lilia, who was solely watching you, fixing you with the saddest expression.

You smiled softly, leaning in to kiss him.

“Of course we can.”

…..

It had taken Malleus some time to adjust to the new baby. But soon he was reading to it, telling it all about his kingdom, promising to take care of him forever.

Within a couple years(? To be honest you couldn't be sure, time living with fae went differently) Lilia insisted that Silver start training with himself and Malleus. You protested; your son had difficulty staying awake, and didn't have nearly the power that they both had, but both Lilia and Malleus had been insistent. They could feel the magic inside the boy, they assured you. And besides, with his build, and clear intelligence, he would make a great knight. Malleus would want people he was close to as his advisors in the future, and for that they would need experience. And with Malleus and Lilia pouting at you like that, and Silver just happy to be included, you couldn't say no for long.

You knew time was passing, but only because Silver was growing. You were told Malleus was probably at his full height and appearance, but you could barely test the passage of time that way anyway.

One day, an unfamiliar man arrived at the cabin. He slipped you a business card, that read,

Dire Crowley, Headmage of Night Raven College

“I'm here to observe your boys. Both of them will be old enough to attend not that far apart, and we like to scout early. The Dark Mirror says both show a lot of promise.”

Lilia seemed ecstatic, so you nodded along. They wouldn't be ready for college that soon, would they?

The scouting went well, but you found yourself increasingly concerned when you heard some of the things that both boys had done to train. Things you hadn't heard about.

But you didn't say anything. Not until the boys were in bed, and the Headmage was gone.

“When did you take them to the middle of the forest and leave them?” 

“Oh, that, don't worry about it, they're fine.”

“And what's this about you going with them? Wasn't the whole point for them to build relations with their peers and gain independence?”

“It's just for protection-”

“So, Silver and I will be alone for a year, then Silver will leave me the next year, and I'll be all by myself, when the boys are supposed to be figuring out how to live without you, and you are supposed to be helping me clean up after the war?” 

“There's a long time before then-”

“Is there?”

“Yes. And you can come with me. When we're married we can get married student housing-”

“We don't even know if we'll be married yet!”

“Why not?”

“Look at us, Lilia! We've been living in the woods for who knows how long, because of the dangers back home! Do you call that peace?”

He stared at you, then said, “Let's call it off. The promise. Let's just get married now.”

“First off, that's a terrible idea, based on how different our parenting style appears to be. Which, again,” this brought you back to what started the conversation, “how did I not know about your training exercises?”

“The boys and I knew you wouldn't like them, so we all agreed not to say anything.”

“I would have noticed if my sons were missing for a week!” You shouted.

“M/F?” You turned around, and there was Silver, looking at you with sad eyes.

“I'm sorry,” he whimpered.

“No, it's not your fault, baby, I just get worried about you, that's all,” you hugged him close, noticing Malleus staring at you from within the bedroom. He didn't move to get up, just looked at you for a moment, then looked away.

“You go back to bed, love, Father and I are done chatting,” you said. You watched Silver walk back to bed, shutting the door behind him. Then you walked to your bedroom that you shared with Lilia, hearing him follow close behind.

You snatched a pillow off the bed, grabbed your sleep wear, and walked back out, shutting the door behind you before he could say anything, and setting yourself up on the couch for the night.

It was three days before you spoke to Lilia again. Not that he didn't try. And not that the boys didn't seem to be trying to guilt you. You just…had to reflect.

Perhaps you weren't on the same page anymore…

That third afternoon, you went out on a walk to clear your head. Perhaps this was your fault. You'd lived with fae for so long, that you'd forgotten that there would be things you disagreed on, based on your species, and cultures. Perhaps you should have just talked to him, instead of being angry. You sighed, and returned back to the cabin.

When you stepped inside, you were greeted with soft pink lighting, and roses lining the walls, and windows. And standing before you, was Lilia.

“Before you yell at me again, the boys are camping outside tonight. I didn't drop them in the middle of the woods.”

You smiled softly. Until the smell hit you. Sevens. Lilia had made you dinner.

“I made you a romantic apology meal. Just for the two of us. And the boys were so sweet, they insisted on making things for themselves so that you and I could have all of it.”

You bit your tongue. He was trying to apologize. No need to say anything. 

“Well! Dig in!” He said excitedly as you sat at the kitchen table.

The dinner was silent at first, Lilia eating, and you trying not to die.

“I heard from my queen. We can come back now. Though,” he groaned bitterly, “you have a lot of work cut out for you on your end, from the sounds of it.”

“I always do. Did she say why?”

“No, just that it wouldn't be easy to handle.”

He went quiet again, then put his silverware down, looking directly at you.

“I meant it. We should throw out our initial deal, and just get married when we get back.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off.

“Even if we get a lasting peace between our two kingdoms, it won't really do anything. Not right away. It'll take years and generations for our nations to fully achieve the dream across every nation of fae and human. I can't wait forever. And neither can you.”

“Of course I can wait,” you laughed. “Until we live in a world where children don't have to hide in the woods, it feels selfish to get married.”

He huffed. “I get that. I do. But what happens if it doesn't happen in your lifetime?”

“Lilia,” you sighed tiredly. “I'm asking you to respect this one request. I let you do a lot, live mostly the way you want me to, all I ask is that we wait. In the meantime, we teach our boys how to be good men.”

He looked like he wanted to fight, but seeing the certainty on your face, he fell into silence, eating the rest of the dinner quietly, then pushing out of his chair, slipping into your lap, and trapping you in a passionate kiss.

The next day was spent packing, and preparing the boys for royal life, and what that meant for them. And then, just like that, your days spent in the cabin in the woods were over.

The castle looked untouched, but the destroyed landscaping spoke volumes. Everything in your study was as you left it. But you didn't have time to enjoy it, because the Queen had informed you that your Queen had died, and left the Fae duke she'd married, now the king, with a half human child. Apparently, both of them needed you. You were sent on your way before you had a chance to talk to Lilia or the boys. 

It wasn't for several more months that Lilia could come join you. He barely wanted to let you go. You couldn't blame him, nor would you try to stop him. You felt so ragged. So worn down. You just needed him to hold you for a while.

He told you Silver had to remain in the Valley of Thorns now that he was officially training, but that he had his birthday party next month, and both his queen and your king had given you leave to attend. 

You were so glad. Things around here had finally been settling, so you'd hoped to come see Lilia and your boys in a more permanent capacity soon.

He'd begrudgingly left, his face pained as he separated from you.

You were so tired. And as the next month went by, you began to think to yourself that, if Lilia asked you to go forward with the wedding this time, you'd say yes. You were so tired. So much pain. So lonely. You needed your boys.

And it wasn't until you were at Silver’s party that you realized what was wrong.

You knew it was Silver’s birthday. But how was he eleven already? That….that couldn't be right? You'd barely aged a day, since….

Your eyes widened, and you were rocked with a wave of nausea. Silver looked up from his cake, his eyes wide in concern.

“M/F, are you alright?” He whispered.

“Yeah, I just need to grab something from my study before I forget.”

Before he could say anything, you rushed out of the party room, and into your study. You locked the door behind you, and turned to the mirror you had hanging on the wall. 

You stared in increasing horror. You should be showing signs of aging at this point. There should be more lines on your face. More of your hair should have changed color. This wasn't right.

You hadn't heard him enter the room, but Lilia scared you when he pressed his lips to your neck.

“If you're worried, you're as beautiful as the day I met you,” Lilia whispered seductively.

“That's the problem, isn't it,” You laughed dryly. “I shouldn't be.”

You felt him stiffen behind you, before laughing it off.

“Well, you do need prescription glasses now, but I'll always love you, no matter how old you get.”

“Lilia,” you said, feeling empty. You turned to him, horror beginning to overtake your features. “How long did we live in the woods?”

“Listen-”

“Please, I'm begging you. Tell me this isn't something you did. I'll believe you, just explain what's going on.”

“Y/N-”

“There were no mirrors in the cabin, and I had no way of tracking the days…Sevens, you did that on purpose!”

“Now hang on-”

“What the fuck did you do?” You finally screamed out, the full implications sinking in.

He froze, his expression unreadable. Then he began to tremble ever so slightly.

“I can't lose anyone else. Especially not you.”

You sat on the floor, your body no longer able to support itself.

“Oh sevens…”

“I slipped a potion into your food every single day. It extended your life, and froze your body from that point on.”

“Lilia,” you spoke hoarsely, “why didn't you ask if that was what I wanted?”

“You wouldn't even marry me! Why should I have believed you'd agree to immortality?” He shouted, beginning to pace, in anger or fear, you couldn't be sure.

“So,  what then? You were just going to keep me drugged on this forever and ever? When did you plan to start drugging Silver? When he's fully grown, or can you even wait that long?”

“That's not fair!”

“I'm tired, Lilia! Without you telling me how long we lived there, I can feel that I shouldn't still be continuing the way I am!”

“That's just because of the withdrawal!” He said, hastily pulling a bottle out of his pocket. “Take some more, you'll feel better.”

“No!” You pulled the engagement ring off your finger, and made your way to the door.

“You're acting like a child,” he shouted behind you.

You ignored him as you opened the door, only to see Malleus standing in front of it, an emerald fireball in his hand.

“Please, Y/N, just listen to Lilia. I do not want to have to hurt you.”

“Step aside,” you said.

“No. You're acting irrationally. You need to relax,” Malleus said firmly, and you began to feel drowsy.

“No, Malleus, this is wrong,” you groaned out as you felt your consciousness fading.

"I thought so too. But Lilia showed me that it was the only way.  You both are my only family…”

You wanted to protest that this is not how you treat people you love. But all you were aware of was Lilia’s arms around you as you collapsed.

You awoke to the cold metal of a spoon pressed to your lips.

“Eat,” Lilia said lightly. He didn't seem nearly as distraught as he was during your argument.

“What happens if I stop taking the potion?” You asked with a glare.

He stiffened, setting the spoon down.

“You've already been off it for several months. I'm certain you're already feeling the effects. Your outside will remain the same, but age will quickly catch up to your mind and your inside. I give you three months before you are bed bound.”

He pressed the spoon to your lips again, seemingly believing that the revelation would make you want it. You kept your mouth firmly shut.

He stared at you, the anger quickly returned to his face. He threw the spoon across the room, then buried his head in his hands.

“You can't do this to me. You can't let me watch you die.”

“I'm going to do exactly that!”

“You! Fine! Get out then!” He shouted. “Give up on me and our dreams. I just hope you realize how stupid it is before it's too late.”

You stood up, your legs feeling weak, but you couldn't let him see the weakness. You might lose your only chance to leave. You stormed out.

You hastily packed up the things in your study, then quickly made your way to the training barracks. 

Silver was taking care of the horses. He looked up at you excitedly.

“Hello, M/F!”

“Come on, Silver, we're going on a little trip.”

“A trip?” He looked around, but nodded.

“Okay.”

You couldn't leave him with Lilia. Lilia, the one who always claimed to love and care about humans, but who clearly didn't seem to think of them as equal enough to decide, or even be asked, if they wanted their entire life to be altered.

You saddled a horse, and and helped Silver into the saddle with you, then urged the horse to a run.

The sky quickly broke into emerald lightning and thunder, torrential rain soaking the both of you.

Lilia must have told Malleus that you'd left. Just like with Lilia, you'd thought Malleus loved and respected you. And maybe he did. Perhaps Lilia had twisted him to his view point, manipulating that pure love he had in his heart to his own ends. 

At this point you couldn't put anything past Lilia.

“Y/N L/N!” 

As the voice called your name, you lost all control of your body, pulling the reins and halting the horse.

You sat frozen in place, unable to even look at Silver, who was turning to look at you, asking in concern about what was wrong.

But you couldn't move.

“Y/N L/N,” Lilia floated in front of you, not so gently extricating Silver from the saddle. “Enlighten me. What gives you the right to steal my son?”

Never give the fae your name. You could cry now. The one who had warned you was now teaching you the lesson.

“I thought he was our son,” you spat.

“The paperwork only has me as his legal guardian. And you never married me, nor signed any adoption paperwork. So, what gives you the right to steal my son?”

You choked on a sob. And with a hoarse shout, you spat, “I hate you!”

His eyes went cold. “No. You don't. You will take that back this instant, and properly apologize to me.”

You found yourself dismounting the horse, tears flowing down your cheeks as your free will was gone, your name abused.

“I'm sorry.” You spit out. “I'm sorry that I tried to save Silver from a fate he didn't deserve.”

Lilia's glare sharpened. And with that he vanished with Silver, leaving you alone in the rain.

Nine years later

History repeats itself. Lilia had never expected his young Lord to fall in love with a human.

“I want you to hold onto this feeling. Remember that humans live short lives. That's the way things have to be.”

Now that he was nearing graduation, he was beginning to see what you meant about nurturing Malleus’ independence. Letting him go was not going well.

He sighed, having finally arrived at his destination. He  held up the magenta rose he'd brought with him, staring at it. He still felt embarrassed looking at you, even after all this time. 

By the time his head had cleared, and he'd realized just how far he had gone, it was too late. He was so tired now. And he deserved it.

This exhaustion. Was this what you felt in your final days?

He looked down at the grave, placing the rose alongside the others that he had brought over the years.

Nine roses. One for each year. None of them showing any signs of age.

Perhaps he hasn't completely learned his lesson.

He supposed he should bring Silver and Malleus to your grave one day. Maybe it would give Silver closure. Maybe it would remind Malleus not to make the same mistakes.

Maybe it would lift some of the guilt from Lilia's shoulders.

He sat down on the grass, sighing heavily. He was getting old.

“I have a lot to tell you. It's been quite a year…”

....

Tag list- @shytastemakerthing @eccedentesiast-sapphic @leoll

[zapreportsblog]

↱ whispers of mating season ↰

➘ summary : mating season is fast approaching and tsu’tey already has someone in mind

➘ a/n : a kind individual on here told me to give it a try so that’s what I’m doing, I also was reading a story on Tsu’tey and I like how it portrayed his character so I’m taking it upon myself to create a story that showcases this man abilities and personality to the best of my abilities and knowledge

➘ tsu’tey x reader, avatar the way of water x reader

As the lush moon of Pandora, with its vibrant flora and towering Hometrees, neared the onset of mating season, the air seemed to shimmer with an undercurrent of change. The Na'vi people of the Omaticaya clan, nestled among the swaying vines and bioluminescent wonders of the forest, could sense the subtle shift in the environment.

Among them, Tsu'tey, a skilled warrior and future leader, felt the pull of the season deep within him. As the son of the clan's chief, his responsibilities were great, but his heart longed for something more - a connection that went beyond tradition and expectations.

One day, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the land bathed in the soft glow of Pandora's night, Tsu'tey found himself in a remote clearing, his thoughts wandering as the whispers of mating season seemed to surround him.

It was then that a figure emerged from the shadows, her presence like a breeze that stirred the leaves. (Y/N), a mixture of Na'vi and Sky People lineage, carried a beauty that was both ethereal and unique. Her features held the traces of her heritage, a blend of Pandora's native inhabitants and the visitors from a distant world.

Tsu'tey's gaze met (Y/N)'s, his eyes alight with curiosity and intrigue. He had known her since her arrival on Pandora, and over time, their interactions had grown from occasional exchanges to something deeper, an unspoken connection that defied the boundaries of their backgrounds.

"May I join you, Tsu'tey?" (Y/N)'s voice was soft, her eyes meeting his with a gentle smile.

Tsu'tey nodded, gesturing for her to take a seat beside him on the grass. "Of course, (Y/N). The night is peaceful, and it seems to have its own stories to tell."

As they sat in companionable silence, the chorus of Pandora's nocturnal creatures filled the air, a symphony of life that seemed to echo their own thoughts. Tsu'tey's gaze remained fixed on the distant horizon, his voice thoughtful.

"Mating season approaches, (Y/N). The forest is alive with anticipation, and even the most hardened warriors find themselves influenced by its call."

(Y/N) shifted slightly, her expression pensive. "It's a time of change and connection, isn't it? The bonds formed during mating season are meant to last a lifetime."

Tsu'tey's gaze drifted to (Y/N), and he found himself captivated by her words. "Indeed. Yet, I've always wondered if there's room for connections that don't follow the usual paths."

(Y/N) met his gaze, her eyes searching his for a moment before she spoke with a hint of vulnerability. "Sometimes, the heart seeks what it seeks, regardless of tradition or expectations."

Tsu'tey's heart seemed to beat in time with the rhythm of the forest, his feelings for (Y/N) growing stronger with each passing moment. There was a shared understanding between them, a bond that went beyond words.

As the night wore on, (Y/N) and Tsu'tey found themselves lost in conversation, sharing stories of their worlds, their dreams, and their hopes. The more they talked, the more the lines between their differences seemed to blur, replaced by a sense of camaraderie and companionship.

Tsu'tey's voice held a warmth that mirrored the feelings in his heart. "You are unlike anyone I have ever met, (Y/N). Your origins are unique, but it is your spirit that sets you apart."

(Y/N) smiled, a soft glow in her eyes. "And you, Tsu'tey, are a warrior with a heart that is open to the possibilities that the universe presents."

As the moon hung low in the sky, casting its silver glow over the land, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) shared a moment that seemed to transcend time itself. In a world that celebrated tradition and connection, their bond was a testament to the universality of the heart's desires.

As the first tendrils of mating season's energy enveloped them, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) felt the pulse of change and possibility in the air. The forest whispered its secrets, and amidst the symphony of life, two souls found themselves drawn together by a connection that was as unique and powerful as the world they inhabited.

And so, as the night deepened and the stars danced above, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) embarked on a journey that would challenge conventions, test their hearts, and lead them down a path that would forever change their destinies on the enchanting moon of Pandora.

Over the following days, Tsu'tey and (Y/N)'s connection deepened, each interaction bringing them closer together. They shared moments of laughter and quiet contemplation, discovering common interests and embracing the differences that made them unique.

As the Omaticaya clan prepared for the impending mating season ceremonies, Tsu'tey found himself torn between his responsibilities to his people and the growing feelings he had for (Y/N). He watched her from a distance as she interacted with the other clan members, her presence a reminder of the possibilities that existed beyond tradition.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the colors of Pandora's sky painted a breathtaking canvas, Tsu'tey sought (Y/N) out by the Hometree. The glow of the bioluminescent plants created an ethereal backdrop for their conversation.

"(Y/N)," he began, his voice carrying a blend of vulnerability and determination, "these are times of great importance to our people. Mating season is a celebration of unity and bonds that sustain us. Yet, I find myself drawn to a connection that defies tradition."

(Y/N)'s gaze met his, her expression a mix of understanding and empathy. "Tsu'tey, I sense the conflict within you. But remember, the heart's desires are a part of the cycle of life too. They shape our experiences and guide us toward our true paths."

Tsu'tey nodded, his eyes reflecting the tumultuous emotions within him. "You speak wisdom, (Y/N). But our world is one of customs and responsibilities."

(Y/N) stepped closer to him, her voice gentle. "And sometimes, breaking away from those customs can lead to new beginnings. Our hearts know what they seek, even if it challenges tradition."

Tsu'tey's hand brushed against (Y/N)'s, a touch that spoke of unspoken promises and shared dreams. "You have a way of making me see beyond what I've always known."

(Y/N) smiled, her touch lingering on his. "Pandora is a world of wonders and possibilities. And our connection is a testament to the magic that can be found in the unexpected."

As the days passed and the mating season ceremonies approached, Tsu'tey found himself torn between the path he had always known and the one that beckoned him with (Y/N). The moment of decision drew closer, and the weight of his choice seemed to rest heavily upon his shoulders.

The night of the first mating dance arrived, the forest alive with the sounds of music and celebration. Tsu'tey stood among his people, his heart a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. As he watched the dancers, his gaze sought out (Y/N), who stood at the edge of the clearing, her eyes meeting his with a reassuring smile.

With each beat of the drum, Tsu'tey's heart resonated with the rhythm of change. As the energy of the mating season pulsed through the air, he stepped forward, the eyes of the clan upon him.

And then, in a bold move that defied tradition, he extended his hand to (Y/N), his eyes never leaving hers. With a mixture of surprise and hope, (Y/N) accepted his hand, and they began to move together, their dance a reflection of their shared connection.

The clan watched in astonishment as Tsu'tey and (Y/N) danced, their steps echoing a union that transcended convention. The forest seemed to hold its breath, as if acknowledging the birth of something extraordinary.

As the dance reached its crescendo, Tsu'tey held (Y/N) close, his heart pounding in rhythm with hers. In that moment, under the watchful eyes of the Omaticaya clan and the moonlit embrace of Pandora, Tsu'tey chose a path that led him to his heart's desire.

The mating season's energy swirled around them, and as the final note of the music faded into the night, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) found themselves surrounded by a sea of approving smiles and knowing nods. Tradition had been challenged, and in its place, a new chapter had begun.

As the celebrations continued, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) stood together, hand in hand, their connection a testament to the power of love that transcended boundaries. The whispers of Pandora's mating season had brought them together, and in the heart of the vibrant forest, they embarked on a journey that celebrated unity, destiny, and the bonds that truly sustained their world.

Months had passed since Tsu'tey and (Y/N) had defied tradition during Pandora's mating season, forging a bond that transcended the expectations of their people. As their connection grew stronger, so did their love for each other.

One morning, as the sun's gentle rays filtered through the lush canopy of the forest, (Y/N) woke with a sense of unease. Nausea washed over her, and her energy seemed depleted. Tsu'tey, who had become attuned to every nuance of her well-being, noticed her discomfort immediately.

He was by her side in an instant, concern etched into his features. "Are you feeling alright, my love?"

(Y/N) managed a weak smile, though her voice was laced with exhaustion. "I don't know, Tsu'tey. I just feel... off."

Tsu'tey's hand brushed against her forehead, his touch gentle and reassuring. "Perhaps a visit to the healers would provide some insight. You have always had a strong connection with the energies of Pandora. They may offer guidance."

(Y/N) nodded, allowing Tsu'tey to help her to her feet. Together, they made their way to the healer's hut, where a wise Na'vi woman awaited them.

The healer's gaze held a knowing glint as she examined (Y/N). After a few moments of silence, she smiled warmly. "You are not sick, my child. Rather, a different kind of energy courses through you."

Tsu'tey exchanged a puzzled glance with (Y/N), uncertainty evident in his eyes. "Different energy?"

The healer's smile widened, and she placed a gentle hand on (Y/N)'s abdomen. "You are carrying a new life within you. A new member of your family is on the way."

(Y/N)'s eyes widened, a mixture of disbelief and joy flooding her heart. She turned to Tsu'tey, her voice trembling with emotion. "Tsu'tey, did you hear that?"

Tsu'tey's gaze met (Y/N)'s, and a brilliant smile spread across his face. "We are to be parents, (Y/N). Our family grows."

Tears of happiness welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes as she embraced Tsu'tey tightly. "This is beyond anything I could have imagined. A new life, a new beginning."

Tsu'tey's touch was tender as he wiped away her tears. "We will welcome this new life with open hearts, just as we did with our bond."

As the healer provided guidance and advice for (Y/N)'s well-being, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) left the hut, their hearts full of hope and excitement. The forest seemed to embrace them, its vibrant colors reflecting the joy that radiated from within.

Tsu'tey's gaze held a mixture of reverence and awe as he looked at (Y/N). "Our ancestors watch over us, (Y/N). Our bond and our growing family are a testament to the unity of our people."

(Y/N) nodded, her hand resting on her abdomen where a new life was beginning to take shape. "And this new life will carry the spirit of Pandora within them, just as we do."

With a shared understanding of the journey ahead, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) walked hand in hand through the forest, their hearts united by a love that had defied tradition and embraced the boundless possibilities of their world. As they looked toward the future, a sense of purpose and anticipation filled their souls, for the journey of parenthood awaited them, and with it, the promise of new adventures and unbreakable bonds.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) awaited the arrival of their new family member with a sense of anticipation and joy. The forest seemed to hum with the promise of new life, and the Omaticaya clan shared in their excitement, offering well-wishes and support.

(Y/N)'s connection with Pandora seemed to deepen as her pregnancy progressed, the vibrant energy of the moon intertwining with the life growing within her. Tsu'tey stood by her side every step of the way, his dedication unwavering.

One day, as the sun painted the sky with hues of pink and gold, (Y/N) felt the first signs of labor. Tsu'tey's presence was a steadying force, his hand clasped tightly in hers as they made their way to the healer's hut.

The healer's eyes held a knowing warmth as she prepared to assist (Y/N) through the birthing process. Tsu'tey's presence was a comforting presence by (Y/N)'s side, his voice a soothing presence as he whispered words of encouragement.

Hours passed, each moment a testament to the strength and resilience of (Y/N) and the bond she shared with Tsu'tey. And finally, as the moon hung high in the sky and the forest seemed to hold its breath, a cry filled the air, signaling the arrival of a new life.

Tears of joy welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes as she held her newborn in her arms, her heart overflowing with love and wonder. Tsu'tey's gaze was fixed on the tiny bundle, his expression a mixture of awe and adoration.

"She's beautiful, (Y/N)," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

(Y/N) smiled through tears as she looked at their daughter, a perfect blend of their worlds. "Yes, she is. Our little miracle."

Tsu'tey gently touched the baby's cheek, his touch tender and full of wonder. "She carries the spirit of both Pandora and the sky people within her."

The healer, who had been quietly observing, approached with a knowing smile. "A child born of two worlds. It is a testament to the unity that can be found in the most unexpected places."

As Tsu'tey and (Y/N) held their daughter close, a sense of completeness settled over them. Their journey, from defying tradition to embracing a love that transcended boundaries, had led them to this moment of pure joy.

With their newborn daughter nestled in their arms, Tsu'tey and (Y/N) returned to their home within the Hometree. The forest seemed to celebrate their new beginning, its colors and sounds reflecting the vibrant energy of a world that had witnessed the creation of a family.

In the days that followed, the Omaticaya clan embraced the arrival of their newest member, celebrating the unity that had brought her into the world. The blend of Na'vi and human features that adorned her face were a symbol of the connection that Tsu'tey and (Y/N) had forged, and the promise of a future where differences were celebrated and love knew no boundaries.

And so, under the watchful gaze of Pandora's moons and the swaying branches of the Hometree, Tsu'tey, (Y/N), and their daughter began a new chapter in their lives. A chapter filled with unity, love, and the beauty that came from embracing the tapestry of their unique backgrounds.

[harley-style]

imagine 999th regression being the canon beginning of orv. imagine yjh dying. and then regressing. but kim dokja and the rest of the others are there. technically speaking, they CAN clear the scenarios without yjh, but kim dokja is least happy about it.

but what can he do? 999!yjh is as sacrificial as he is. so of course, he dies, bc dokja's too slow.

so what happens is everyone moves on. the world moves on. kdj has to also, because life has always been particularly shitty to him. life on earth was hell but twsa was his silver lining. in this brand new universe worldline, his light dies, but he still has his family.

losing yjh takes a toll on them. kdj is their heart, but yjh is equally so. they grow weary, tired. they keep going, most of all kdj, because he doesn't have yjh's "second chances"

and oh, does kdj begin to hate that word. hate yjh's stigma. his sponsor.

through his grief, kdj becomes a lot less happy. he resembles his mother a lot more, in temperament. he sheds the white coat and dons yjh's black coat. he gets stronger. all of them do, because yjh isn't there to cover their asses anymore.

hsy, donning the white coat, the only one of them who remains optimistic about their chances (in her special hsy way), finds a way to break the narrative.

they become outer gods, much to SP's displeasure bc somehow he's lost control of everything and gdi kim dokja can you sit still for five minutes)

999!kimcom travels the worldlines to find their yjh and like. look. they find him. but they also find the most ancient dream.

yjh and kdj fight and my god its a beautiful disaster. hsy takes advantage of their monkey brains and steals MAD away, kdj is not pleased. yjh insists they let MAD live because he doesnt want kdj to die.

bitterly, kdj responds "you should have thought of that before you went and left us," with a wry smile, the fucking hypocrite. but well, its not like he's sacrificed himself in a while.

i dont really have anything more to add here this was just a "what if yjh succeeds regressing but the worldline is still intact bc kdj exists"

[leoruby-draws]

Decided to post some more random, mostly minor characters from the DC universe, mostly ones that seemed they would be fun to draw. I guess technically these drawings are all based in my TrWh au, as always. Here they are:

Wanted to draw heroes with wings, I draw Vanessa quite a bit so I had to learn wings and feathers. Still working on it, but its fun. You can see Vanessa there at the bottom middle, looking a little menacing.

The girl with red wings is called...Redwing aka Carrie Levine. I thought she was a sweet kid, so her ultimate fate was pretty sad. Wonder if she'll come back to continuity at some point.

The guy with the mohawk is Northwind aka Norda Cantrell, part of Infinity Inc the earth 2 version of a Teen Titans group. He honestly didn't get a whole lot of focus in Infinity Inc, like the writer didn't know what to do with him. Maybe they should've made him into the magic fighter of the group, almost felt like thats what they were going for him before they wrote him off.

The girl in yellow is Dawnstar, part of the Legion of Superheroes. I haven't read much of LoSH, mostly some 90's issues. But her design is soooo pretty I had to draw her, her costume here is a mix of her various outfits.

Lastly, here's Bluejay aka Jay Abrams again, part of Justice League Europe. Kinda thought JLE was a bit of a letdown, I mean the team's made up of mostly americans not europeans! I think Crimson Fox was the only european, I thought her set-up of being two people was cool.

Little extra Infinity doodle, here's Hector Hall (Silver Scarab) hating on poor Norda, with Lyta Trevor (Fury) looking on with confusion. Hector's just a hater (tho there's reasons for it ig), an archetype you see sometimes in some superhero groups, like Roy Harper or Guy Gardner. The plot-line of Hector's resentment of Norda was kinda interesting, but like with most things in Infinity it didn't get the focus it should've gotten. Speaking of Infinity, here's some more doodles:

There's Rex Tyler (Hourman 1) with little Rick Tyler (Hourman 2), enjoying some father-son time. Apparently Rick's first costume isn't well liked (so says reddit). I thought it seemed cute but maybe it works better as a kid's or sidekick's kinda costume?

In the middle is Jack Knight (Starman) suffering as he interacts with Sylvester Pemberton (Skyman, formerly the Star-Spangled Kid) and Courtney Whitmore (Stargirl, actually she should still be S-SK but whatever). In my au he actually joins Infinity Inc, since everyone becomes heroes earlier he's actually around when the team's still running. I suspect his dad (Ted Knight) forced him into it. Also Courtney doesn't respect Jack at all, he's so annoyed at this. Look at her mini-staff, I presume Ted made it for her.

Also there's Beth Chapel (Dr. Mid-Nite) and Jesse Chambers (Jesse Quick) looking cool. Jesse also joins Infinity Inc in my au, will there be a love triangle going on between Beth, Rick and Jesse? Don't think Rick's gonna survive that, aw well.

Look at baby Jade and Obsidian, Alan is overwhelmed by their antics.

In another post someone asked if I could draw more of the Relative Heroes, a super obscure hero group. So @draculaura1660, this one's for you. Here they are:

I kinda had a hard time drawing this group, cuz their costumes are so complicated! I wished there was a reference/concept art for them cuz it was a struggle trying to figure out the details, the comic art did not help matters at all. You might have noticed I changed details anyways, I tend to simplify costumes for my au both to make it easier to draw and also to signify their younger ages. It's just fun to play around with costume design ig.

Some more characters!

Jinx, who looks very different between her comic and cartoon self. I did like her pink hair, so decide to see how it would look on her comic self. There's Kole, who also has different designs in comic/cartoons. I think her comic costume is so cool, esp that color pallet! But I love her pink hair in the cartoon, so she's got pink hair here! Just like pink hair a lot lol.

The other pink haired girl is Laethwen, love interest of Ray Palmer in Sword of the Atom. I think I made her hair more pink to better differentiate her from Starfire, also, again I just like pink hair. I wished she and her little kingdom didn't die, in my au Ray saves them! Maybe he relocates them to his backyard or something?

Little Donna and Vanessa doodle, did you know they never once interacted on panel? The closest is when Donna brings her stepsister Cindy to talk to Vanessa instead. I wonder how they would even interact, I know Vanessa wanted to be wonder girl (and resented Cassie for 'taking' it from her). Did she look up to Donna, or wanted her out of the way? Funnily enough Donna wasn't even Diana's sidekick when post-crisis started, due to both their origins being reworked and contradicting each other's timelines. It's all very confusing.

Anyways, some bonus doodles:

Had fun making a new outfit for Laethwen, I imagine she took some inspiration from indigenous groups from the Amazon, seeing as that's where her people crashed into.

Kole's costume is just so beautiful but so complicated, maybe that's why she got killed off so soon in Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Lastly, here's Bette bugging Dick with Barbara being super amused about it. I said in my post about her that I didn't really care about her crush on Robin, which is true, but I still wanted to doodle something making fun of it. Poor Dick is doesn't know how to get outta of this social situation.

Well that was a lot, hope you liked all that.

[spottheantisemitism]

Magneto and Holocaust Inversion (Many Such Cases)

Case #1: He who fights monsters ( UXM #150 I, Magneto - Chris Claremont)

So this was my first X-men comic I got at a con at a discount so THIS was my introduction to Magneto. I love this comic to bits. It's a great scene

While this sudden breakdown is quite good there's the pieta symbolism between two jews and there's the distinct implication of "I'm no better than the Nazis" in his breakdown (you are allowed to fight me on this as not counting as holocaust inversion)

to pivot Magneto this much Claremont pretty much had to do something akin to holocaust inversion because Lee and Kirby wrote him as a fascist coded character and Claremont couldn't not have Jewish (and Romani?*) holocaust survivor who was likely sonderkommando not realize the irony of his actions.

Also we get more Magneto backstory and depth in ONE PAGE than any comic before and most comics since

Case #2: No equals (Magneto Rex episode 3- Joe Pruitt)

Listen the Genosha metaphor was clumsy when Claremont wrote it but the hands of Joe Pruitt, it sounds like a Soviet psyop about the evil colonizer Jews who like apartheid.

While Pietro is one of the few people who get to say the "you're making us look bad" line and it landing in and out of universe the way it's presented is the most simplistic argument possible

The implication of "he's gone full circle and become the oppressor" is clear and this time painfully intentional. The fact that these people are imprisoned for having legacy virus- the x-men equivalent of aids just makes it all worse

Case #3: A mad old terrorist twat (New X-men: Planet X -Grant Morrison)

^ tw for misgendering Grant Morrison who used he/him at the time of publication but use they/them now.

Many people have pointed out that part of what stings when Morrison separates McKellen from the "schizoid-conflicted" Hitler reborn terrorist twat Magneto is the former is a gentile and therefore more deserving of their respect. The implications that Magneto is like that because his ideas are dumb and out-dated mirrors the way antisemites claim that Jews are gentiles over "their made up fairy tales".

I don't think Morrison is so much an antisemite as the kind of fanenby hypocritical chud who loves the silver age (bad era to fandomize and idolize, Grant) exactly as it was. They love when THEY get to make Beast or Ice man gay but hate when a Jewish writer makes a wannabe dictator a Jewish holocaust survivor. We get it Grant, rules for thee but not for Jews. No, no they'll rewrite the character as literally Hitler to show that only Morrison gets to re-write X-men comics, antisemitic implications be damned.

Well you made one thing clear, Grant sweaty, you hate retcons and the art of Jewish writers whose politics and visions you dislike.

screenshot source:

Case #4: when your boyfriend invokes Godwin's law (House of M: Civil war #3)

I feel like Charles only gets away with this because they're such close friends (who canonically share a room) and he's been through a lot in this issue.

To be fair "you twisting semantics won't save people from fanatics who want genocide" is the BEST comeback to holocaust inversion I've seen in an X-men comic

the framing here is both of them are wrong and Magnus (that's one of Magneto's human names) is clearly in the right about this. The humans may think he's Mutant Hitler but that's because they're projecting

(sorry for making you read sideways and making you read something I took a picture of IRL)

Case #5: The oppressed becomes the oppressor (X-men 97 episode 2)

Magneto's speech in X-97 has been said as a watered down version of his speech in Uncanny X-Men 200

What is pointed out many times is the line where he claims "his own people joined the nazis to betray him". Never expanded upon, never brought up again. There are no other Jewish character in 97, no foils. It feels almost gross and tokenistic, like Marvel wanted Magneto be the good token self-hating Jews. Since at that was the only acceptable type of Jew in early 2024.

I do hope to see a course correction seasons 2 and 3 as something as simple as showing a flashback of his past or just showing a character like Kitty would go a long way to dispel the accidental implication that Magneto thinks all other Jews are evil

*While Magneto's children Wanda and Pietro are explicitly Jewish-Romani everywhere BUT the MCU in some universes like House of M, so is he. These intermarriages happened in Weimar Germany all the time so these universes are quite plausible

[mochinomnoms]

francesca (1K Follower Special Event)

art: “hold me, dear” by raiain

“Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I” — Hozier, Francesca from “Unreal Unearth” Their love for you is so overwhelming, so profuse, their hunger for love is worse than their hunger for food, water, or sleep. They yearn for you and your affections, like a baby yearns for the embrace of their parents. From the gods above, to the demons below, there is no where that can house or comprehend the love you share with them. spotify playlist

A song fic event to celebrate over 1,000 followers!

Requests are closed

Rules

Anyone can use this event and prompts on their own blog! Tag me in so I can read all your stories!

This event will be for TWST on my end, others are free to use for whatever they'd like!

All request will be up to 500 words, with a max of 3 characters per request

Chose one prompt for each request with one song (randomly selected line will be used for the request), and indicate if you want romantic or platonic. You can also indicate if you want fluff, hurt/comfort, suggestive, nsfw etc.

Reader will default to gender-neutral unless asked otherwise

Dialogue Prompts (@mcflymemes: 1/2/3)

“It's funny. Sometimes I think I've already fallen in love with you as much as possible… and then we share a night like this.”

“I'm falling more and more in love with you every day.”

“Do you feel connected to me when we're together like that?”

“You made a few sounds I've never heard before.”

“Can I get you anything? Do you need me to do anything?”

“Touch me like that again.”

“You look so good like this.”

“Tell me when I can move.”

“It's like your body was built for mine.”

“You like that, don't you.”

“You don't know what that does to me.”

“Kiss me again, and don't stop this time.”

“I can't bear the thought of living without you.”

“You complete me.”

“I want all of you. Every piece of you.”

“I won't lose you again.”

“You're the most important person I have ever known.”

“The universe gave you to me.”

“Can I kiss you again? I promise I won't get carried away.”

“Where you go, I follow.”

Song Selection

Hozier, “Unreal Unearth”; “Wasteland, Baby!”; “Nina Cried Power — EP”

De Selby (Part 1)

De Selby (Part 2)

Francesca

Eat Your Young

First Light

Movement

Talk

Be

Sunlight

NFWMB

Moment's Silence (Common Tongue)

Rio Romero, “Good God!”

Inarticulation

Nothing's New

Twice

Eyedress, “Let's Skip to the Wedding”

Romantic Lover

Jealous

Kiss Me Like It's the First Time

Ricky Montgomery, “Montgomery Ricky”

Line Without a Hook

My Heart Is Buried in Venice

Mr. Loverman

Kali Uchis, “Sin Miedo (del Amor y Otros Demonios)”

la luna enamorada

telepatía

Misc. Artists

See You Again (Tyler, The Creator, “Flower Boy”)

Me Gustas Tu (Manu Chao, “Próxima Estación: Esperanza”)

Die For You (The Weeknd, “Starboy”)

🎶 francesca masterlist 🎶

“It ain’t workin’ ‘cause you’re perfect”: jamil viper x gn!reader — #19

“And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight”: azul ashengrotto x gn!reader — #15

“Be like the love that discovered the sin”; “And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice”; “If I could hold you for a minute/I'd go through it again”: jade leech, trey clover, ace trappola (separate) x gn!reader — #16

“Y al contemplarla en su mirada”: azul ashengrotto x gn!reader — #4

“I always want your love”: ruggie bucchi x gn!reader — #19

“Oh, was it something I said to make you feel like you're a burden”; “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around”: leona kingscholar, azul ashengrotto (separate) x gn!reader — #15 [PENDING]

“Si te tuviera de frente, la mente te la volaría”; “You know that I can see right through you”: deuce spade, lilia vanrouge (separate) x gn!reader — #9 [QUEUED]

“'Cause we've found ourselves in quite a situation”: silver x gn!reader — #9

“The sky set to burst, the gold and the rust”; “But after this, I'm never gonna be the same”: jade leech, floyd leech (separate) x gn!reader — #3

“It's got nothing to do with us”: divus crewel x gn!reader — #16

“One look is all it takes”: floyd leech x afab gn!reader — #15

“I'm not always right”; “It's gonna happen sometimes”; “I don't think of giving up”: azul ashengrotto, riddle rosehearts, kalim al-asim (separate) x f!reader — #14

“You know I'm just a flight away”: floyd leech x gn!reader — #7

“I can hear your thoughts like a melody”: kalim al-asim x gn!reader — #19

“I wish I could fall in love with you again”; “I know I can fall in love”; “I can only hope that’s what you are craving too”: jack howl, sebek zigvolt, silver (separate) x gn!reader — #19

“Que se podría hacer el amor por telepatía”: jade leech x gn!reader — #4

“And are you pretty or handsome? My words are on ransom”; “With you by my side is where I wanna stand”: trey clover, ruggie bucchi (separate) x gn!reader — #11

“Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free”: silver x gn!reader — #15

“La venganza es dulce, ¿sabes? (Dulce, dulce, dulce, dulce, dulce)”: ace trappola, deuce space (poly) x gn!reader — #1

“I am just a line without a—”; “And if I've lost my charm / Apologies due, no harm”; “Forgive me, I'm not naïve”: floyd leech, azul ashengrotto, jade leech (separate) x gn!reader — #19 & #16

“Me gusta volver, me gustas tú”: jack howl x gn!reader — #13

“Nothing fucks with my baby”; “I'd wanna be felled by you”: leona kingscholar, vil schoenheit (separate) x gn!reader — #16

“And I've found hope in a heart attack”: jack howl x gn!reader — #13

Bonus:

“Heaven is not fit to hold a love like you and I”: ace trappola, deuce spade (poly) x gn!reader — #1

“¿Qué horas son, mi corazón?”: grim (platonic) x gn!reader — #20

[dazailover4ever]

Part 1: The Rift Between Worlds

Summary: As the CEO of a billion-dollar company, your life is defined by power, precision, and control. But when a curse shatters your reality, you’re pulled from the boardroom into a world of sorcery, danger, and a man who defies all logic—Gojo Satoru.

Stranded in a universe that shouldn’t exist, you must navigate the unpredictable landscape of Jujutsu High while searching for a way home. But with every step deeper into this world, the lines between duty, fate, and something far more personal begin to blur.

Can you find your way back to your life, or has this new reality already changed you?

The journey begins, but the ending is anything but certain.

The soft glow of the moon peeked through the curtains of your office, casting a silver light across your desk. Stacks of papers lay before you, all neatly organized yet untouched for the past hour. Your eyes, however, weren’t on the documents that demanded your attention as the president and CEO of one of the most powerful companies in the world.

Instead, they were locked on the anime playing on your tablet.

You sighed, allowing yourself a brief escape. Being the head of a billion-dollar empire came with unrelenting pressure, expectations that weighed heavily on your shoulders. The world saw you as the definition of power and control, but in moments like these, you found solace in the fictional worlds you adored.

In the dim light of your office, you clicked onto the next episode, smiling as your favorite character delivered a line you’d heard a thousand times but never tired of.

Then it happened.

The air in the room shifted. You felt a sudden, unnerving pull in your chest. The tablet fell from your hands, the anime fading into background noise as an invisible force gripped you. Your vision blurred, and panic surged through your veins as the room around you distorted.

“What…what is this?”

Before you could comprehend what was happening, darkness enveloped you.

Your consciousness returned slowly. The sensation of rough stone beneath your hands was the first thing you noticed, followed by the chill of the wind against your skin. Your head pounded, the remnants of the strange force that had pulled you still lingering in your body.

As your vision cleared, you blinked, taking in your surroundings. You were no longer in your office. Instead, you found yourself in a dimly lit alley, the soft hum of a city you didn’t recognize surrounding you.

“Where…where am I?”

Standing up slowly, you rubbed your temple, trying to shake off the dizziness. The buildings around you were old, yet unfamiliar, and the air carried a sense of unease that set your nerves on edge.

“This…this isn’t my world.”

Before you could dwell on the unsettling realization, you heard footsteps approaching from behind.

“Oi, you lost or something?”

You spun around, coming face-to-face with a tall figure clad in a black uniform. His silver hair gleamed in the moonlight, but what caught your attention most were his eyes—well, his lack of visible eyes. A blindfold covered them, yet he seemed to be looking straight at you.

“You don’t have cursed energy,” the man said, tilting his head, curiosity dripping from his tone. “So, how’d you end up here?”

You blinked at him, still trying to process the strange situation. “Cursed energy? What are you talking about?”

He smirked, stepping closer. “Well, that’s new. Most people either run or attack when they see me.”

You narrowed your eyes, your instinct to regain control over the situation kicking in. “I don’t know who you are, but I need answers. Where am I?”

He chuckled, seemingly amused by your demand. “You’re in Tokyo, but I have a feeling this isn’t the Tokyo you’re familiar with.”

Your heart dropped. The Tokyo you knew didn’t have cursed energy or strange men with blindfolds. Something was terribly wrong.

The man’s voice broke through your thoughts again. “Name’s Gojo Satoru. I’m a teacher at Jujutsu High, and you, well…” He grinned. “You seem to be in a bit of a bind.”

Gojo led you to Jujutsu High, your mind racing with questions that refused to settle. As you followed him, you couldn’t help but be drawn to his carefree attitude, despite the weight of your situation. You had never met anyone like him before—someone who exuded such overwhelming power and yet acted as though nothing could touch him.

At the entrance to the school, a group of students gathered, each of them glancing curiously at you. One with pink hair—Yuji, Gojo introduced—stepped forward.

“She’s not a sorcerer, right? So…how did she end up here?”

Gojo shrugged, leaning against the wall with a smirk. “That’s the million-dollar question.”

You felt a surge of frustration bubble up inside you. “Can someone just tell me what’s going on? I don’t belong here. I need to get back to my world.”

Gojo’s smirk faded slightly, his tone becoming more serious. “It’s not that simple. If you were pulled here by a curse, it’s going to take some time to figure out how to send you back.”

You clenched your fists. You didn’t have time. You had responsibilities, a company to run, a life that depended on you. And now, you were stuck in a world you barely understood.

Over the next few days, you found yourself stuck at Jujutsu High, the unfamiliarity of it all gnawing at you. Gojo had taken an interest in you—whether because of the mystery surrounding your appearance or simply because he enjoyed your company, you weren’t sure.

“You’re handling this pretty well for someone who got yanked out of her world,” Gojo commented one afternoon, leaning back in his chair with a lazy smile. “Most people would be freaking out by now.”

“I don’t have time to freak out,” you replied curtly. “I need to figure out how to get back.”

Gojo tilted his head, his expression softening. “You don’t have to shoulder everything on your own, you know. Let us help.”

You glanced at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. There was something about him—despite his lighthearted nature, there was an unspoken understanding between the two of you. As if, in some way, he knew what it felt like to carry the weight of an entire world on your shoulders.

Still, you pushed the thought aside. Getting attached to these people, to this world, would only make leaving harder. You had to stay focused. You had to get home.

But as the days passed, and as you spent more time with Gojo and the students, a small, dangerous part of you began to wonder if maybe—just maybe—leaving wouldn’t be as easy as you thought.

You kept to yourself for the next few days, trying to adjust to the reality that this wasn’t some bizarre dream. You had indeed been yanked from your dimension, thrown into a world where curses existed, and people like Gojo Satoru and his students had to fight them off.

Every night, as you lay in the unfamiliar room you had been given at Jujutsu High, your mind wandered back to your office, to the responsibilities piling up in your absence. Your father’s empire, needed you. You were irreplaceable. Who would step in for you? Who would ensure your billion-dollar company wouldn’t collapse under the weight of its own success?

But even as you thought of your home, you couldn’t help but notice the pull that Jujutsu High had on you. Gojo, with his infuriatingly smug attitude, was a puzzle you found yourself drawn to. His students, although younger and less experienced than you in life, had a kind of strength that intrigued you. And for some reason, despite your determination to return to your universe, you found yourself standing at the training grounds each day, watching them practice.

One morning, as you stood on the sidelines, Gojo approached you with his signature grin.

“Enjoying the show, Boss Lady?�� he teased, leaning casually against the wall next to you.

You crossed your arms. “You can call me by my name, you know.”

“I could,” he said, shrugging, “but ‘Boss Lady’ suits you so well.”

You rolled your eyes, but there was a warmth to his teasing that made it hard to stay annoyed. “What do you want, Gojo?”

He straightened, that ever-present smirk still in place. “You’ve been watching for a while now. Why not get in there and try it out for yourself?”

You raised an eyebrow. “What, you want me to fight curses?”

Gojo chuckled, shaking his head. “No, but I could teach you some self-defense techniques. Never know when it might come in handy.”

For a moment, you considered his offer. Back in your world, you had dealt with ruthless business competitors, people who would do anything to undermine your success. Learning how to protect yourself in a world filled with literal monsters seemed like a logical next step.

“All right,” you said finally, “I’m in.”

Gojo’s smile widened. “Great. Let’s start now.”

Training with Gojo was both exhilarating and frustrating. you had never been in a situation where physical combat was necessary. You were used to outsmarting your opponents, not fighting them head-on. Gojo, on the other hand, made it look effortless.

“That’s your problem,” he said, blocking one of your punches with ease. “You’re thinking too much. You need to react.”

You scowled at him. “It’s hard not to think when you’ve never done this before.”

He laughed, sidestepping your next attack with that infuriating grace of his. “And here I thought you were good at handling pressure.”

You glared at him, your frustration building. “You know, it would help if you weren’t so smug about this.”

Gojo’s grin softened slightly, and for the first time since you met him, you saw a flicker of something more serious in his eyes. “I’m not trying to make this harder for you,” he said quietly. “But if you’re going to survive in this world, you’ll need to be prepared for anything.”

His words hit you harder than you expected. This world was dangerous—more dangerous than the cutthroat corporate world you had dominated for so long. Here, power wasn’t just about money or influence. It was about life and death.

“Okay,” you said, your voice more determined. “Let’s go again.”

After hours of training, you sat on the ground, exhausted but satisfied. Gojo stood nearby, watching you with a mixture of amusement and something else—something you couldn’t quite place.

“You’re a fast learner,” he said, offering you a hand.

You took it, allowing him to pull you to your feet. “Well, I don’t plan on being stuck here forever, so I might as well make use of the time.”

Gojo’s grip tightened slightly before he let go, his expression unreadable. “Right. Getting you back to your world.”

There was an unspoken tension between the two of you, but you pushed it aside, focusing on the bigger picture. Gojo had been helping you, but there was still so much you didn’t understand. About this world. About the curse that brought you here.

About him.

That evening, you found yourself sitting outside, staring up at the sky. The stars looked different here, even though you knew it was still Earth. Everything felt foreign, yet oddly familiar at the same time.

“You know,” a voice said behind you, “I used to do that a lot too.”

You turned to see Gojo standing a few feet away, his blindfold still in place but his head tilted up toward the stars.

“Do what?” you asked.

“Stare at the sky,” he replied, walking over to sit next to you. “When I was younger, I’d look up at the stars and wonder if there was something more. Something beyond all this.”

His words surprised you. Gojo rarely talked about himself, always deflecting with jokes or sarcasm. But tonight, there was a vulnerability in his voice that caught you off guard.

“And what did you find?” you asked, your curiosity piqued.

Gojo smiled, but it wasn’t his usual smirk. “I found that no matter how far you look, the only thing that matters is the world right in front of you.”

His words lingered in the air, and for the first time since you’d arrived in this world, you felt a sense of connection. Not just to this place, but to him.

You turned back to the sky, your heart heavy with the weight of his statement. “I don’t belong here, Gojo. My world…it needs me.”

Gojo was silent for a moment before he finally spoke. “I know. But that doesn’t mean you can’t live in this one for a while.”

The two of you sat in silence after that, the unspoken tension between you growing stronger with each passing second. You knew you had to leave. You had to get back to your world, your responsibilities. But as you sat there next to Gojo, you couldn’t help but wonder if leaving this world might be harder than you thought.

End of part 1

[chaoticpallascat]

A defence of “I have no one”

When I first heard it my thought was also “but there’s Donna and Rose and Wilf and everyone now, in this exact time and this exact city, wasn’t that the whole point of the 60th?”

But then I realised, no, this is in no way minimising the The-Nobles-is-my-adopted-family plot.

Because he can say that when he still considers the Nobles family. He knows they are there, in that exact time, in that exact city, but his hands are tied. He can’t visit them as often as he wishes. Even for the Doctor crossing their own timeline is dangerous stuff, and doing that in London aka the biggest trouble magnet in the known universe is just to invite disaster. There might be a few times he could visit, but we know Donna - if she meets 15 she WILL tell 14. So any time 15 did visit, 14 will know. And 15 remembers 14 (as established in the Giggles), so 15 will remember. That means for 15, even if he could visit, there will alway be a count down. Every time he does visit, he is one time closer to his last. At the very least, he has to extremely careful when he visits, in order for everything to go according to his memory. If thats the case, I think it’s likely that, in his vulnerable times, 15 will feel like the Nobles are primarily 14’s family. Still HIS family, the Doctor’s family, but, you know, subtle differences.

So although“I have no one” was said after “you have the biggest family on Earth”, it doesn’t necessarily mean “I have no family Donna doesn’t count”. It can mean “You have a big family, that’s so sweet. That reminds me of mine. I thought Gallifrey was my family, but it isn’t. I also have the Nobles, but I can’t go to them anymore. So now here I am, all alone again. ” In other words, “I have no one” is not necessarily a juxtaposition to “you have the biggest family”, it’s an emotional response to it.

It’s the old sentiment, the most basic tragedy of the Doctor as a character, their loneliness. The Doctor makes friends, and then they drift apart, and now the Doctor has to go on on their own. They feel lonely, and think they have no one. That doesn’t mean they do not consider former companions friends anymore, they just presently literally have no one with them and they are allowed to feel pain for that.

But as heartbreaking it is there’s a silver lining. To be able to say that himself, not as a response to any question but right the moment as it occurred to him, to someone he has only just met (rather than, say, Wilf) is new. 15 is making an observation to his current situation and allowing himself to outwardly emotionally react to the weight of that observation. That weight being his whole existence. This is what I call therapy progress.

Oooor I might just be fanning too hard. I mean, 15. Ruby. I fucking love them and I WILL defend them XD.

[iam93percentstardust]

Tony in Lingerie: A Rec List

@frankthesnek asked for a few recs of Tony wearing lingerie, and I've been wanting to do a new stevetony rec list for ages so here's a list of some of my faves (and some that I've written):

Written by Me *note: if a stevetony fic by me is rated E, odds are it has Tony in lingerie, but these are the ones that are more than just a throwaway line*

At Your Feet: Tony's been gone for two months dealing with SI emergencies. But he's finally coming home and Steve, for one, can't wait to see him again.

I Found a Love For Me: Steve comes home to find Tony waiting for him with a surprise.

Your Darkened Eyes: When Steve goes back to Peggy, he doesn't go back in time the way Scott thought he had. Instead, he steps into another universe. But the problem is, this universe has a Steve Rogers too and he isn't happy that Steve stole his life away from him. *note: contains underage content*

Models and Other Odd Things You'll Find on Craigslist: Artist Steve needs a model for his Erotica in Art class. Tony volunteers. *note: contains no sexual content*

It's Gotten Too Darn Hot: Tony and Steve have some fun with ice while the A/C isn't working.

I Know Places: Mob boss Steve kidnaps Tony after Howard makes a mistake that gets Steve's people killed. *note: contains underage content*

Treacherous: 5 times Steve and Tony fucked at someone else's wedding and one time they fucked at one of theirs

Bambi: The most feared mob boss in New York wants to prove a point to his people by fucking the prettiest little whore in the entire city right in front of them.

Written by Others:

For Your Eyes Only by SarahHBE: Every soldier looks forward to mail call. But Alpha Steve Rogers gets a big surprise with the letter his Omega, Tony Stark, has sent him.

Babydoll, Cover Me by @aurumacadicus: Steve and Tony, two of the most popular omega lingerie models, are pretending to date to keep alphas off of Tony's back. It's depressingly necessary. *note: contains no sexual content* **second note: go through author's fics on tumblr because there's tons of tony in lingerie content, all very delicious**

inspired by @areiton: Steve is a silver fox and Tony is a thirsty twink and we all know how this is gonna end.

How Easy You Are To Need by Robin_tCJ: The only thing Tony can move is his head, which he does. He bends it just enough to look back over his shoulder, past where his legs are tied spread open, ankles bound to his thighs. Steve is still sitting in his chair behind Tony, seemingly uninterested in the sight before him.

Gonna dress you up in my love by S_horne: Written for National Nylon Stockings Day

Just Like This by BlossomsintheMist: Steve and Tony share Valentine's Day together, and Steve wants to make a point.

Seeing Stars by BlossomsintheMist: Tony gives Steve a ride (and a few more things). *note: check out author's fics on ao3 for the most amazing porn in the fandom*

Must Be True by @avengersnewb: When the stakes are too high, Tiberius Stone offers his omega, Tony, as a little side incentive to close important business deals. Tonight’s business is an arms deal with the Avengers, and the alpha they’re meeting is Captain America.

[scarletttries]

The Heartthrob on the Silver Screen (Steven Grant Request)

Pairing: Steven Grant (Moon Knight) x F! Reader

Rating: Explicit Smut

Word Count: 2.1k

Author's Note: This is very loosely a combination of my Soft!Dom! Steven fic and "I Can Read You like a History Book", with Steven getting his own back on the reader this time 😊 Thank you to everyone sending me these headcanons, please send more Steven requests/thots anytime 💕

The Heartthrob on the Silver Screen (Steven Grant)

On paper, it might seem somewhat boring to have a reliable schedule of activities with your boyfriend, but the little routine you had going with Steven had grown to mean the world to you. Through each regularly scheduled date you saw him come out of his shell more and more, growing more comfortable hosting you in his cosy apartment than he would have ever thought possible before you came into his life, effortlessly lighting up every dark corner. As his confidence had grown, so had his ability to express himself, finally putting words to his feelings and no longer resisting the urge to take hold of you when the opportunity arose, making you feel like the single most appreciated person in the universe.

Friday night meant movie night for you and Steven, your film choice this week, excitedly rushing to his familiar flat to inflict yet another rom-com upon him. Not that Steven ever complained about your choice of film, happily obliging any request you had for him as long as he spent the evening with you in his arms. But you could tell the films you chose hadn't exactly captured his attention in the past, unaware that having you so close ensured nothing in this world could draw Steven's focus away.

Tonight as you settled into your rightful spot next to him, Steven spreading his legs to allow you rest between them, your back pressed to his chest, bum nestled tightly between his thighs, he watched as you became enthralled in this week's narrative, his attention solely on you. Steven loved having you in such close proximity, the scent of your shampoo filling his nostrils as he nestled his face into your neck, feeling your muscles tense and relax as the drama began to unfold, each shift of your body weight rubbing against him in a way that drove him slowly insane as he worked up the nerve to touch you back.

As Steven watched your every move, this evening's choice of film descended into a particularly steamy scene between the leads, and while what played out on screen didn't catch his attention, your reaction certainly did. If he hadn't been observing you with quite so much devotion he might have missed the small clench of your thighs, rubbing together slightly as a blush flushed into your cheeks. Thoroughly entranced by the slight adjustment, Steven's mind flooded with possibilities, determined to make this movie one of your favourites by the end of the night.

He could hear the slight catch of your breath as his large, warm hand settled on the top of your thigh, the other arm coiling slowly over your waist to ensure you stayed put while he had his fun. You could feel the familiar tingle of excitement stirring in your stomach as Steven squeezed the soft flesh of your leg, gently easing it away from the other to ensure his hand could reach everywhere he wanted to. It was almost embarrassing how quickly you could feel yourself getting worked up, the feeling of Steven's strong grip taking hold of you enough to send your heart racing as his fingers danced in soft circles over your skin. Each faintly traced line allowed his hand to drift a little higher, thanking every deity he believed in for the pretty skirt you'd come over in that night.

"Are you enjoying the film love?" He whispered softly in your ear as his fingers grazed the edge of your underwear, feeling you tense against his hold as you nodded your head. "Did you think I wouldn't notice you rubbing those cute little thighs together? I notice everything about you sweetheart." He breathed, fingers brushing over the soft fabric of your panties with just enough pressure to send a spark of pleasure coursing through you. His arm gripped your waist tighter as he began to rub smooth strokes through the fabric over your clit, watching your head fall back against his shoulder at the relief of his touch. He kissed your face gently with a bow of his head, drinking in the content look on your face as his fingers began to move a little faster, finding a steady pace that had you sighing his name softly into the air. He kept his touch soft and sensual, teasing your clit with the exceptional friction of the fabric, slick starting to spread so the tips of his fingers felt even more sublime over your sensitive bud. Steven ignored the aching need growing in sweatpants as he felt your stomach begin to tighten under his arm, his grip keeping you pressed tightly against where he craved you most as he heard a small whine fall from your lips as you reached the crest of your pleasure, riding out the wave to his perfect touches, your chest rising and falling in a way that left Steven wanting more.

As the bliss of cumming began to subside, you tried to turn around, ready to feel more of Steven and return the favour as he sweet touches. Instead his arm around you kept you fixed in place, his voice lower, darker as he spoke again,

"Where are you going darling, there's still so much of the film left." His ankles hooked over yours, keeping your legs in place as his fingers dipped inside the sticky fabric of your underwear, humming happily at the wet mess he found inside.

"Mmm, you're so wet love, is that for the film or for me?" He teased, tilting his shoulder slightly to cast your gaze back to the screen, the characters once again locked in an amorous embrace.

"All for you Steven." You managed to moan out, his thumb starting a new assault on your clit, rubbing rapid circles through the glossy slick, the sensation making you jolt against him.

"Thank you love, you really are such a good girl for me." He purred, eyes flicking between your squirming hips and twisting face. You could feel the moans pouring out of you as he rubbed over your slit, his fingers exploring your entrance without ever dipping inside enough to give you satisfaction where the greatest ache was building.

"Fuck, Steven." You let out with a gasp as his hand on your waist began to drift upwards under your sweater, feather light touches grazing over your nipples, the new sensation overwhelming in the current of pleasure already washing over you.

"Maybe later love, I've gotta get you all warmed up first haven't I?" He chuckled sweetly in your ear, watching your thighs start to tremble of their own accord, body trying to escape the overstimulation and at the same time desperate to feel him plunge deep inside you.

"Please Steven, I'm ready, I need your cock." You begged, trying not to succumb to the next orgasm rapidly building in your centre until you had Steven inside you.

"Needy girl." Steven teased at your desperation, pinching your nipple slightly between his fingers and basking in the way your body jolted towards him, "How about this? You keep watching the film, and when I feel you start to clench around this," He slipped one soaked finger into your hole, rubbing your walls in time with his thumbs steady rhythm, "I'll know you're ready for my cock." He kissed your forehead before nodding back to the screen, watching as you fought to keep your eyes open, breathy moans drowning out the dialogue so just the characters carefully directed intimacy was left on screen. Even with him limbs restricting your movements, Steven could feel your hips squirming against his throbbing manhood as you started to come unravelled again, this time louder and messier than before. The gentle shapes traced over your nipples had your back arching into his touch as you felt yourself clench down around his one unsatisfactory digit, his unrelenting attention to your clit leaving your pussy aching to be filled by your sweet boyfriend as a fresh wave of wet excitement coated his hand, and your underwear, which he was all too happy to remove for you. Your legs seemed unable to lift themselves as he tugged the soaked panties down your thighs, tucking them in his pocket to ensure there'd be nothing in his way if he wanted to continue this worship of your body later that night, picturing himself running his tongue between your folds just as you thought you were about to drift off to sleep.

Finally freeing himself from the straining fabric of his sweatpants he pulled you up onto his lap, running his length teasingly through your folds, watching you flinch every time his glistening tip hit your throbbing clit,

"Are you sure I shouldn't make you cum a few more times before I give you this?" He asked with the hottest sincerity as he tapped your clit again, your pleasure meaning far more to Steven that his own.

"I need you inside me Steven, please." You cried, shifting desperately in his lap, trying to line him up with your entrance, aching for relief.

"So good for me." He groaned proudly as he finally thrust himself inside you, filling you up completely and making your whole body shake as your aching core started to get the friction it craved. "You have to hold still love." He teased as he pulled your back against his chest, one hand still latched to your chest, keeping you still as he bent his knees and use his new found leverage to buck his hips up into you harshly. Words were beyond your grasp as Steven sang out your praises, each buck of his hips punctuated with a verbal token of affection, matched by a brush of your nipple and a graze of your clit. Your whole body felt alive with pleasure, every wave of sensation making you melt against Steven's touch, helpless to hold back as the pressure inside you started to build again.

"You feel so good love, so perfect for me. Like I was made to be inside you. Every bit of you so perfect for me to play with," His fingers giving your clit a moment of respite from his strumming as he moved his hand to your ass cheek, giving it a firm squeeze before letting his fingers explore it's curves, "I bet if we got you excited enough, you'd let me in here too," He breathed excitedly, own hips bucking erratically at the thought as his slick finger traced the tight ring of muscle no-one had ever touched before.

"Steven!" You cried out almost painfully overwhelmed, every part of you alight from the gentle touch, unsure if you wanted him to give you a break, or never stop at all. His fingertip brushed the clenched hole again, watching you struggle against his grip before his hand settled back between your thighs, gathering up the drips he'd drawn from you there before returning to your clit with renewed attention. His fingers worked flat, broad strokes over you, rhythm as unrelenting as the bouncing ruts of his hips as fought to groan out,

"We'll save that for another night, for now I want one more, for me (y/n), let me feel you cum on my cock, let me hear how good you are." Your every muscle in your body seemed to shake at once as you came again, the clench of your walls making you feel even tighter around Steven, your name filling the air as his own release filled you, another intense wave of pleasure you rode out before crashing back to earth, all but collapsing in Steven's arms.

"You're amazing love." He sighed out happily, softly kissing the top of your head, not yet willing to remove his hands for you body as he eased himself out of you.

"You're amazing Steven." You half-moaned, every cells of your body still tingling as you tried to take your first steady breath in what felt like hours. Steven watched as your chest danced against his hand, noticing the slight trickle of his cum emerging between your legs.

"You know, we might have to start the film again. I've not been able to follow any of it." Steven joked, his laugh shaded with a dark edge, your stomach tightening again as his fingers finally withdrew from your clit, only to settle slightly lower, his middle finger pushing inside you, slowly fucking his own cum back where he felt it belonged.

Some people might find a schedule of dates with Steven boring, but you certainly never did.