#This man needs to stop

[jeysbaby]

First of all, this is a porn

[kochei0]

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

[kensatou]

MONKEY MAN (2024)

[stiffyck]

HOW DOES ONE DRAW KISSES

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

Actually, I know damn well Darcy never sat down and thought about marrying Lizzie. If he had, it would have been a week before he was rounding up Bingley, sitting him down, and looking him in the eye like he was about to propose high treason and going, "Jane. You still down bad for her?"

Coin toss whether Bingley would actually get to answer before Darcy turned around and flipped over a whiteboard like

and launched right into the most detailed migration pattern known to Regency England to keep the extraneous Bennets as contained as humanly possible by rotating them between various Bingley/Darcy estates. Like, we're talking about trading them off for minor holidays a decade out kind of detailed.

"If you and Jane take them for Lady Day ten years hence, Elizabeth and I will take them for Michaelmas. We'll all be together for Christmas and Midsummer, so we'll divide the responsibility individually on those days."

This would be followed by thirteen different spreadsheets projecting joint expenditures so Bingley knows what sort of financial commitment he'll be shouldering and how to minimize it, what proportion Darcy will take care of, what the estate plans are in case Darcy predeceases anybody, when they should probably roll out various stages to keep it from affecting their respective sisters' ability to maximize their own husband-hunting--whole nine yards.

Darcy does not know that he'll probably be murdered when the Bingley sisters find out why he asked for their social calendars. He'd be marginally fine with that at this point, because the fucking Napoleonic War campaigns were not as meticulously planned as his roadmap to getting the other three Bennets satisfactorily married, and Darcy feels about as able as if he'd spent the last year on Elba.

It takes Bingley a few minutes to realize why this is happening, then he's like

"You proposed to Elizabeth?! Congratulations!"

Darcy... knew there was something he was forgetting.

That man would have kicked the Collins's door open with four binders tucked under each arm, dumped them in a pile in front of Elizabeth, and loudly announced that if they get married tomorrow he can have her entire family except for Jane extraordinary renditioned to the Scottish moors by Sunday and then been like

"Why are you yelling at me?! I promise you, it will work! You'll never see anyone in your family except for Jane again, I swear it!" when she starts yelling at him.

[marisashinx]

How many tickles to make an... eel?... laugh!

[farawaywiththefairies]

there's just something about the idea of an older man being very overprotective of me and not letting me anywhere near boys my age...

[insulindiancorvid]

off day

[to-be-a-dreamer]

There’s just something about Zac Oyama playing a “wise old man” character who is quickly revealed to be just absolutely batshit insane Daisuke Bucklesby I love you please live past episode six

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Megatron winning the most pregnantable poll over Ford then getting disqualified because of botting is unfortunate... but very funny

I thought I would draw megastar and billford eventually but I did not think it would be because of this

Toxic yaoi with an old man and their chaotic partners who are also old but act like children

[adriles]

when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess

[mischievous-thunder]

The morning after Althea had to spend yet another sleepless night because of the two freaks:

Meanwhile Logan:

P.S. Neither of the two idiots was drunk.

[readerconfused]

The other gods: Hades is the king of the dead, he is bad, he was definitely the one who did it all

Hades: hi guys, sorry for the tortuous path it takes to get to my house, would you like some pomegranate juice? A snack?

[hana-no-seiiki]

yandere! husband who’s so fucking in love with you that even dreaming about kissing another person makes him wake up in cold sweat, rushing to the bathroom to wash his lips raw.

funny how even as he proceeded to surround himself with water, only the guilt drowned him.

[eightofpents]

today yesterday i learned about fish and then i took too long to finish this

[managone16]

James: Reg, no you can’t do that— Regulus: Shut up Potter, I— James: You can’t use such a small bag to fit all you books! Regulus: But it has— James: It’s not possible! It just won’t fit— Regulus: James, have you never fucking heard of extension charms? James: Yes but— James: Oh. James: You called me James. Oh my god, you- Regulus: Tell the whole fucking school, Potter. Go on, be louder. James: REGULUS BLACK CAL—*muffled sound* Regulus: Merlin, you are such a nuisance. James, kissing Regulus’ temple: Only for you, darling.  *Regulus rolls his eyes, hiding a profound blush*