#This little shit is about to go into SQQ's house

[theimpurelily]

My new ship just launched and one of them doesn't even have a fucking name

For real tho, this un-named Wan Jian Disciple is such a snarky bitch. I love him.

Kudos to @grubus for making such enjoyable OCs

[coolshadowtwins]

Scumplane friendship (or maybe more?) concept where Shen Jiu is so ridiculously close to figuring out SQH’s deal with MBJ.

And SQH knows it! He knows that SQQ knows, but does SQQ know that SQH know that SQQ knows???? How far down does this go? How complicated is this situation and how much of it is specifically SQH’s fault?

And SQH can’t see a way out of it. He’s about to just jump ship, even if he has years before the main plot starts, but ultimately decides to try… something. He has a talisman/enchanted jewel or something to teleport him straight to MBJ if need be, so he decides to do something incredibly stupid for once.

He acts like it was a story.

Oh, he’s been doing that for years, technically. He knows where he is, and the plot, and his role. But he has been acting in accordance to PIDW. But now, with his back to the wall and the only option he can really see for himself is running from the sect, he takes this scenario and treats it like it’s the main plot of a book.

SQH would never be the main character! So this story is following SQQ. So you have a Shixiong who suspects his Shidi to be making deals with demons? The story can only go two ways- the Shidi is indeed suspicious or the Shidi has some other shit going on. And SQH may be indeed suspicious, but by god does he need SQQ to think he just has other shit going on.

Which is why he shows up to the Bamboo house one day, is served tea by a glaring SQQ, and then blurts out, “This Shidi would like some advice!”

SQQ: …advice. For what?

SQH, having not thought this far but always doing better in the heat of the moment:….. romantic struggles.

SQQ:………… you came to me for this?

And then something something, SQQ is a little touched that he was the one SQH came to for help, even if he now has to deal with an obviously abusive demon boyfriend. Jeez Shang-Shidi, what do you get yourself into?

(It doesn’t hurt that SQH seems to know everything that happens on the peaks and isn’t afraid to gossip with SQQ. It makes very enjoyable hangout times. And if the scum villain wants to verbally tear down someone based on that information, it is so not SQH problem)

[greentrickster]

Okay, so, been reading some good scumplane (OG!Shen Qingqiu/Airplane) lately, because in this house we support Airplane being loved by terrifying/terrifyingly hot men, but also, like... I do love Moshang just so so much as a ship.

And all this has awoken a mighty need in me.

A need for a Moshangjiu fic with scumplane getting established first and then bringing our favorite popsicle in on things.

Anyway, scenario! Shen Qingqiu starts noticing Shang Qinghua when they're disciples via the classic scenario of being smart enough to realize something is fishy about SQH being the only survivor of a demon attack, begins paying attention to his most anxious shidi, accidentally shows his most anxious shidi the simplest of Human Kindness, accidentally becomes shidi's favorite shixiong, accidentally becomes friends with shidi, accidentally catches feelings. Continues being a Sneaky Bastard in order to figure out what shidi is up to (and now also to confirm shidi is single).

Ah, shidi is entangled with an Ice Demon. This shixiong will make use of his scholarly peak's library to learn all and then decide to- wait. Wait, it's super violent by human standards, but is it- is this demon attempting to... court shidi?

...

Not if SQQ dates him first he's not!!!

There follows a whirlwind romance between SQQ and SQH where no one really knows what's going on, especially the two involved, it involves a lot of shit talking about everyone else in their lives, snacks, and accidental trauma bonding.

Also Airplane being Airplane and accidentally spilling that not only is he also kinda crushing (bad) on Mobei-jun, but also Mobei-jun's entire backstory and please, shixiong, I know it all looks bad but this shidi's house is literally the only place in the world it's completely safe for his king to sleep, everyone deserves to sleep without having to worry about their relatives murdering them for things that aren't their fault from time to time, right, shixiong???

Shen Qingqiu: ...goddammit, the demon's a fellow sad little meow meow. (only not in these exact words because he doesn't know these phrases, naturally)

In a wild, bold, and - dare I say it - shockingly sexy convolution of thought processes and ideas, SQQ manages to finagle SQH into letting him meet with MBJ (SQH nearly has a heart attack three times in the process but it's fine, it's cool, this is his life, this may as well happen, it's fine-).

SQQ: It has come to my attention that my shidi is spying for you on our sect.

MBJ: (glowering at SQH, who is cowering behind shixiong wondering how he got talked into all this)

SQQ: However it also appears that this is merely a cover story and the only thing you really do is use his room to nap. And also that you are quite fond of him.

SQH: (This is it, this is how I die. Again.)

MBJ: (...if I stare straight ahead and don't change my expression, no one will be able to tell that he's right)

SQQ: So anyway I think you should join Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.

MBJ: (gears grinding)

SQH: (squawking splutters of protest and confusion)

SQQ: (who speaks panicking!SQH at this point) Stop that, it's perfectly reasonable. He has the head disciple of our logistics peak under his thumb, it would be the simplest thing in the world for him to have you throw the sect into absolute chaos without even trying, then organize an attack, swoop in, and crush us all. He could have done it years ago, but he never has, he never even seems to initiate anything. I don't think he even cares about taking the Northern Throne, I think he's just incompetent about wanting to spend time with you. So he might as well just lie low until our shizuns ascend and then I'll take him on as a disciple on Qing Jing and you two can stop sneaking around like idiots.

MBJ: >8O

SQQ: Are you actually opposed?

MBJ: (folds arms and looks away sulkily, because like... it's true but you don't have to say it like that)

SQH: 8O ...reverse uno...

SQQ: What?

SQH: You're reverse unoing my blorbo!

SQQ: Quit making up word-

SQQ cannot continue because the System just presented the option to accept this potential new plot line (even if it does have the rather confusing title of 'Shidi Has Two Hands'), and holy shit, Mobei-jun seems to be potentially down for it, holy shit, apparently Mobei-jun actually likes me, holy shit, SQQ may have just solved all my problems-?!? This is great, this is fantastic, this is the best day of my life, this- is a long time I'm being allowed to be myself about all this, why is Shen shixiong not interrupting...?

Ah.

It is because I am kissing him full on the lips.

Cool cool cool.

At least I'm gonna die on a high note.

SQQ: O///O o_o (ahem) Shidi's- shidi's a really bad kisser.

SQH: Ah-haha, I can explain-

SQQ: We should work on that. Later.

SQH: (BEST DAY OF BOTH MY LIVES!!!)

MBJ: (I... did not actually hate watching that. Hm.)

Anyway, he agrees to the plan, SQQ and SQH start dating, some more time passes, the previous generation of peak lords ascend, the new generation take their places, and a week later Mobei-jun is an outer disciple of Qing Jing Peak.

The other peak lords are not amused, Qingqiu that is a demon, no.

SQQ: So what I'm hearing is that whole 'Cang Qiong will accept anyone from anywhere' philosophy was a lie then?

He's a demon!

SQQ: Children can't help where they're born. Now if you'll excuse me, I have classes to teach.

First lesson of the day is SQH and SQQ are a package deal, take it or leave it. Second lesson is no canoodling with Shang Shibo until you've finished with lessons and chores for the day. Third lesson is if you see any Bai Zhan disciples hassling our peak's disciples you can break their swords. Just snap 'em in half. Throw them off the peak. Don't kill them, but do make them cry.

SQH, meanwhile, has now seen MBJ in an outer disciple uniform and had a whole bunch of new awakenings on top of all the other things he already knew about himself.

And, in a twist of dramatic irony... Qing Jing's first disciple to ever have demonic heritage decides the dorms are a no-go after one night because, to him, they are broiling hot, how can anyone sleep in this heat, and chooses to go sleep in the wood shed instead.

[tcfactory]

tlj writes 1000 words of poetry that could be summerised in "lemme smash" but sqq doesnt know about poetry details yet so it doesnt click. it takes him asking his damn shizun what this word is supposed to mean for him to find out some shit like "should the sweet juice that drips find its way to my lips, one would treat it as the finest ambrosia" means "pLEASE lemme succ". haunting. devistating. but also hold on hes been writing like this forever and hes made no physical passes what. huh.

Oh god. I can see this go two ways, depending on how good/close SQQ's relationship is with his master.

If they have a good relationship, then SQQ's shizun would be all up in arms because who dares write this kind of filth to his little cabbage?! All right, A-Jiu, which rich noble wastrel is this shameless about trying to seduce a head disciple from one of the great sects?

Alternatively: SQQ is trying to prove that he's Competent to his shizun so he can't go to him with questions like that, no sir. But they teach some poetry and stuff on Qiong Ding too - not how to write it, but just enough about analyzing/understanding it to appear cultured and smart in high company, you know? So SQQ grits his teeth and goes to YQY for advice which is only slightly better (don't you dare think this means that he forgave you!! You are still in the dog house, Qi-ge!!!!) but at least it's less humiliating that having to involve his shizun.

So uuuuuh. Yeah. SQQ and YQY sort of reconcile over the horrifying realization that TLJ wrote him a whole book's worth of erotic poems. Either YQY gets super jealous over this (in which case SQQ has great fun playing off his two 'suitors' against each other until he decides that you know what? he has two hands and he worked so hard, he deserves to have two boyfriends) or YQY goes into protective big brother mode and makes a solid attempt at bullying TLJ to see how serious he is about courting SQQ (very serious. if this whole peak lord thing doesn't work out, SQQ has a very stable job opportunity waiting for him as empress of the demon realm.)

Either way it would probably end in "let's save TLJ from HHP's bullshit so he can marry SQQ right and proper" shenanigans.

[ghostclowning]

another day of zhushen agenda BUT it's ZZL being unreasonably hot when SQQ least expects him to. Like when he's talking to SQQ politely and calmly, then some demon tries to approach them and he gives them such a death glare that the poor thing perishes immediately regardless of its intentions. Then he turns back to SQQ and he's now absolutely normal. But SQQ isn't normal at all. He's never been hornier in his life. Gentle ZZL is cool but /srs ZZL???maybe even mad ZZL?? Fuck yes. Although perhaps he's feeling so safe thinking about such things only bc he knows for sure his husband won't ever intentionally hurt him. He really wants to hear ZZL call him a "bad boy" now though, whew.

And SQQ also likes to randomly touch ZZL muscles(if it doesn't distract him, of course...but sometimes even if it distracts him. After all, so far he never objected). Pure amazement. He wonders if ZZL could beat LQG if they had no swords(of course he wouldn't let these two fight, this sure would end up traumatic for both...but just for the sake of mental experiment? It's never wrong to imagine hot men in blood-). And he also thinks how he can do whatever with ZZL only bc ZZL chooses to allow him. Like "I braid his hair but he could easily braid my limbs! Sheesh!" But ZZL is just ready to tolerate any shit he does, even when he goes drinking with SQH(it never ends well)(ZZL gives him the /srs stare afterwards which SQQ a little bit enjoys ... secretly....).

[The truth is, he probably considers literally anything still better than standing lines for lewd fanfics]

Sometimes SQQ purposely tries to tease ZZL, but it often leads to an outcome he didn't expect, even if at first things go smoothly...He once tried to make his snake husband a little jealous, joke-flirting with soemone, but ZZL was just keeping silent, although he clearly was upset. Once they were left alone, he said he thought what he and master Shen had was just between them. SQQ was just heartbroken cuz his boy seemed so sad about it<3 He tries to reassure ZZL he was just fucking around but then ZZL pins him to the wall, grabs both his hands, immobilizing him with ease, his glance calm as ever but unusually stern.

"Master Shen has spoken enough today. But I see that I don't satisfy master Shen enough."

"Not at all, Xizhi-lang..."

"I have a name."

"...Ah? Sorry, Zhuzhi-lang...You really satisfy me! I was just being silly..."

"No need to pretend now. I understand," Zhuzhi-lang leans in and shuts him up with a kiss. Oh no. Practice shows that his 'understanding' of things is often different from normal... "If so, I'm afraid I have to fix my mistakes."

His firm tone makes SQQ feel things. God damn it, maybe he actually doesn't mind whatever is going to happen now. Although it wouldn't be so sweet if ZZL gave him a dose of blood parasites to control him. Yeah that would be less hot.

"I will make love to you all night. For every sound that you make, I will keep going."

SQQ had no idea how vocal he was in bed until now, and he cursed this trait of his now, because he also had no idea how long demons can go on. ZZL only let him go when he started literally begging for mercy. This really was enjoyable until SQQ got completely exhausted, and when he realized ZZL still stops when he asks properly, he thought that he certainly will do this again... sometime. When he's able to walk again, probably. Maybe.

SQQ also grew used to the snakes, even the demonic ones. When ZZL is not home, he talks to them instead. Keeps a little bowl of water for them even. Unexpectedly, him befriending the snakes actually helped to get them out of his bed... When ZZL saw how friendly he got with them, he gave him a strange look, but he hasn't found a single snake in his bed or in his clothes since. They still were everywhere else around the house, but, apparently, have learned that some things are not to be touched. They still touch master Shen himself though, but they, apparently, also were taught not to do so if master Shen minds...and this man once said he can't do anything about his snakes, huh?

And also SQQ collected a piece of snake skin ZZL shed. When ZZL found out, he was a little...repulsed. "Why would one collect something that came off their body? You don't collect fallen off hair..."

"But it's not hair! It's a piece of snake skin. It looked cool."

"...Should I start collecting master Shen's dead skin..."

"...uhm, alright, alright, you have a point. Please don't-"

"If master Shen likes such things, I could-"

"Please don't"

SQQ had no doubt ZZL could make all the snakes shed right in their house, and he clearly didn't need that. Did SQQ get rid of that one piece of snake skin though? Absolutely not.

[tossawary]

Chapter 29: “The Ringing Bells” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary.

-

It’s just been him, Yue Qingyuan, and the not-so-modest Qiong Ding entourage befitting Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s leader. Shang Qinghua and Yue Qingyuan still haven’t talked about anything personal (Shang Qinghua kind of hopes they never will!), but putting up a united front and then putting up with other sects seems to have brought them closer together again.

If Shang Qinghua had given in to his idea of bringing a flask of emergency wine in his sleeve, they could have made a drinking game or something every time someone managed to “casually” mention that Zhao Hua Temple Sect’s barrier techniques were the best in the world. With that face Yue Qingyuan made after the third, ear-gouging hour of listening to a long line of Zhao Hua experts condescend to them about security measures that will surely stop invading demons in their tracks, Shang Qinghua would have bet the man could have been talked into it. Big Bro would have been down, he’s sure.

-

AN: There is something immensely amusing to me that Yue Qingyuan and Shang Qinghua of all people run this sect (like, sure, SQQ and WQW and the other peak lords do stuff too, but YQY and SQH seem to be the ones who actually deal with worldly affairs and interact with people). To me, they both have such “I don’t want to be here” energy. YQY would rather be thinking about his slow reconciliation with Shen Qingqiu, and SQH would rather be daydreaming about the sexy ice demon he’s been betraying the sect for for 20 years. 

But nooo, they have to be responsible. 

Yue Qingyuan nearly dying at the end of SVSSS to me had such... vibes of relief? This man is carrying SO MUCH stress over his position and his responsibilities and appearances, that his reaction to dying seems to be at least a little bit: “Oh, time to put everything down. I can give up. I don’t have to be the invincible sect leader above it all anymore. Thank goodness.” You can fit so much trauma and unhealthy ideation in this man! 

Which is, I think, why this connection between SQH and YQY was a little inevitable in this story. They’re both carrying so much stress and trauma, and doing their best to not let anyone see it, so they really relate to each other but... in a way that’s kind of one-sided on both parts? Because SQH isn’t supposed to know shit about YQY’s past or pressures. And YQY doesn’t have the full picture of what SQH is dealing with at all. After their fight after SQQ died and SQH coming forward about their invasion, SQH and YQY are finally getting to have some more direct connection, but neither of them are willing to put their masks down yet. It goes against their natures and their perceived duties (as sect leader and a transmigrator/traitor) to honestly confide in each other. 

YQY and SQH both kind of have a “I know better than you” thing going on here. Yue Qingyuan because he’s the sect leader and he’s been taught that he has to manage himself and everyone else. Shang Qinghua because he’s a transmigrator and also... the fallen creator god of this world? 

- 

Yue Qingyuan is apparently just as eager to make it home as Shang Qinghua is. Their travel pace puts them a full day ahead of schedule, and Yue Qingyuan courteously sends his youngest personal assistant ahead via flying sword to warn the sect.

“Shen-Shixiong and Wei-Shixiong will need time to hide the mess from all the parties they’ve been throwing in our absence,” Shang Qinghua jokes.

Yue Qingyuan looks at him with polite but concerned bemusement.

“Aha, never mind, I’ll just… go check the last report my head disciples sent me again.”

None of them are expecting the assistant, who flew off with all the energy and eagerness of youth, to return only a little over an hour later. The assistant is red in the face and panting for breath. He collapses in front of Yue Qingyuan.

“Shizun, I-! I turned back as soon as I saw- in the distance-! The sect was on fire! Qiong Ding Peak was on fire!”

Yue Qingyuan and Shang Qinghua exchange a look of shock. When Shang Qinghua joked at the beginning of their journey that the sect would probably set itself on fire without them there to do damage control, he really was only joking! He’s had way too much of the shit he says coming true on him!

-

AN: I don’t think I’ve mentioned this yet, but Yue Qingyuan’s youngest assistant is the kid that Shen Qingqiu shoved on him from the House of Rejuvenation mess. Qi Qingqi and Liu Qingge picked up Luo Fanli from that, Shen Qingqiu picked up Fu Qiang from that, and Yue Qingyuan got this kid. 

He doesn’t have a name yet, but he’ll probably get one at some point. Probably in Part 4 when Shen Yuan and Fu Qiang’s story comes to the forefront. 

-

“Shishu!”

Shang Qinghua turns and gets an armful of nephew. Binghe’s arms wrap around him with no care for the bandage around one of them and Binghe’s warm face is buried into his neck - he’s so tall now - to share his dirt stains.

Shang Qinghua has no idea what to do. He wants to hug his very huggable nephew, of course, but in front of so many people?! He can’t just shove Binghe away either! Luckily, Binghe seems to realize his mistake about two seconds after contact and launches away from Shang Qinghua, bowing deeply enough to hide his face completely.

“Apologies for tripping, Shishu!”

Shang Qinghua nearly laughs. “Ah, ah, it’s fine. It’s fine.”

This is probably one of the worst kept secrets in the sect, anyway.

-

AN: This is absolutely a reference to Binghe pulling this trick in SVSSS canon, only unlike SY, Shang Qinghua recognizes the excuse. 

-

Luo Binghe clears his throat and intervenes before his friend can accidentally kill Shang Qinghua with kindness or something. “The demon saintess Sha Hualing and her followers attacked.”

“Oh,” Shang Qinghua says, relaxing a little.

 “Is that all?” he thinks. “Phew! Earlier than I was expecting, but okay!”

-

AN: It’s very funny to me to have CQMS going, “Demon attack! Demon attack! Totally unexpected demon attack!” And Shang Qinghua going, “Shit, I think I put that down on my calendar wrong. Did I put that down on my calendar...?” 

-

This apparently prompted Liu Mingyan and Luo Fanli to volunteer at the same time.

“They looked like they were going to argue over it, at first, or even fight over it,” Luo Binghe says. “Qi-Shigu and Liu-Shishu didn’t seem to want to let them fight, but they just ignored them and almost started a quick hand-game over who would get to fight. And then the demoness said… she said… she...”

“What?” Shang Qinghua asks.

Ning Yingying lifts her nose to the sky and declares, “She said: ‘If I get a say in this, I want to fight the pretty one in the veil, and not the old lady!’ So rude!”

“...Ah,” Shang Qinghua says again.

That explains the awkward grimace Binghe is making right now.

“Liu-Shijie and Luo-Shijie froze, then Luo-Shijie just looked at Shizun and Qi-Shigu and Liu-Shishu,” Ning Yingying continues. “ Snap! And then it was really quiet. And then Shizun said, ‘I’ll allow it.’ And Qi-Shigu and Liu-Shishu and even Liu-Shijie didn’t say anything.”

“Of course not! Shizun outranks them,” Ming Fan says.

As though that has ever honestly mattered to Liu Qingge or Qi Qingqi.

“So she got to fight the demoness,” Luo Binghe says, like it was a foregone conclusion that his stubborn auntie would get what she wanted. Who’s surprised about this? Not this long-suffering nephew!

-

AN: So, Sha Hualing made the “old lady” joke in front of 1) Qi Qingqi, Luo Fanli’s teacher who knows about her student’s past with the House of Rejuvenation, 2) Liu Mingyan, Luo Fanli’s friend who either knows about it or recognizes that LFL is touchy about her age, 3) Liu Qingge, LFL’s brother-in-law who also knows, and 4) Shen Qingqiu, who was THERE and that’s how they met. 

So, there’s sort of a collective, “If we don’t let Luo Fanli try to beat the shit out of this demon girl, we will never hear the fucking end of it,” here. 

Also, as soon as I made Luo Fanli into Liu Qingge’s apprentice of sorts, there was no way that she was NOT going to want to fight Sha Hualing, and it seemed a good way to shake things up from canon while also doing some stuff with the Fanli & Binghe relationship. I’m really trying to breathe new life into all the scenes that I’m redoing from SVSSS. 

-

“She kicked that demoness’ ass!” Ning Yingying squeals.  

“Ning Yingying!” Ming Fan hisses.

Shang Qinghua snorts. “Oh? Really?”

“It was rough,” Luo Binghe says, while Ning Yingying and Ming Fan both turn bright red realizing what she just said in front of a Peak Lord. Binghe, however, has totally heard Shang Qinghua say way worse than that. “The demoness was really good and really mean, and she kept getting up even after she got slammed into the ground, but eventually she got pinned and had to forfeit to keep her head. Fanli is still mostly in one piece. She’s over there right now with Mu-Shishu and Liu-Shishu.”

Shang Qinghua follows his nephew’s finger, then winces. His little sister-in-law looks pretty roughed up, her face is beginning to swell and she’s got a lot of claw marks, but she’s grinning up at Liu Qingge. Liu Qingge looks totally fine, besides some flecks of blood that must belong to other people, and is smiling down at her.

Mu Qingfang looks less than enthusiastic about all this as he treats Luo Fanli’s injuries of victory.

Aha, yeah, Liu Qingge is definitely the one explaining this to Luo Jiahui later.

-

AN: I really like building and having built up all these relationships. I like giving Binghe friends, even if they’re friends that he kind of runs rings around given his manipulative tendencies (NYY and MF rely on just grabbing him at this point and relying on sheer force of obliviousness/authority). I like giving Liu Qingge more connections in the form of Luo Fanli and Mu Qingfang too. 

This cast is... so big at this point. I didn’t really expect this when I started. 

-

Inside the cell is… a bloody demon girl who looks about fifteen-ish (sixteen-ish, maybe?), with dark hair in many braids, a sharp face and a sharper stare, and clothing that looks like it was made out of not nearly enough silk ribbons. Ah, wow, that’s way more skin than Shang Qinghua ever wanted to see of Sha Hualing. No jewelry at all, though, not even a belt. Not even boots or even slippers. Just lots of blood splatter.

Both Sha Hualing’s arms and legs have been restrained. She’s also been muzzled, though that doesn’t stop her from showing off her teeth in the least happy-looking smile anyone has ever smiled. There’s blood in Sha Hualing’s teeth! That’s blood there smeared around her mouth!

Qi Qingqi is in the cell too, utterly unimpressed, making sure that Sha Hualing is properly restrained and even treating an injury on the girl’s thigh. Demons are pretty tough, Sha Hualing would probably be fine, but Shang Qinghua supposes they can at least be a little kind toward the poor disciple who’ll have to mop the floors here later.

“So good of you to finally join us,” Shen Qingqiu says to Shang Qinghua. His voice is dry, as usual, but it might be missing its worst sharp edges? The man seems pleased at having caught himself a demon.

“Ah, I didn’t want to show up the sect leader with my speed,” Shang Qinghua replies.

That gets an amused look from Yue Qingyuan. “Let us speak elsewhere,” he says, politely admonishing everyone to shut up in front of their guest. “Qi-Shimei?”

“A moment,” Qi Qingqi says.

“Oh, don’t leave me all alooone,” Sha Hualing says, only slightly muffled by the muzzle, her eyes going wide and scared. “I’ll behave! This is really too much! These restraints are hurting me. Please… it’s making it hard for me to breathe, please…”  

Qi Qingqi ignores her and finishes up her work.

Yue Qingyuan lets the Xian Shu Peak Lord out and then seals the cell behind her. Shang Qinghua is familiar with those seals and yeah, there’s very little chance Sha Hualing is getting out of there on her own. The demoness complains loudly about being left behind in a cold and lonely cell. Shang Qinghua can still hear her wailing as Yue Qingyuan instructs the guards on, mainly, not letting anyone in and not taking any of Sha Hualing’s bait no matter what lies she tells.

If anyone gets “seduced” by that teenage girl - a trick pulled many times by the wily Sha Hualing in Proud Immortal Demon Way - Shang Qinghua is going to be so disappointed. Surprised? Not really! But still… depressingly disappointed!

- 

AN: It was... hm... important to me that none of the characters here actually sexualize Sha Hualing or disregard the fact that she’s very young to them. In his narration, Shang Qinghua mentions her skimpy clothes and the possibility of her seducing a guard, but it’s with the casual detachment of someone who was writing a stallion novel and knows the tropes. 

I wanted to focus more on the fact that Sha Hualing is not just a “wife character”, but an extremely dangerous non-human individual and already a minor political player, if currently trying to play outside her league. She’s an enemy. Also, just because she is currently playing outside her league doesn’t mean that she’s not dangerous and shouldn’t be taken seriously. 

All she needs is someone to get close and she will inflict life-long injuries. 

I also wanted to use her here for some Mobei-Jun stuff, which I’ll talk about later when I get to the Mobei-Jun part. 

-

“Shang-Shidi, do you recognize any of these materials?” Shen Qingqiu asks next, like he’s reading Shang Qinghua’s mind now! He looks so unimpressed by Shang Qinghua’s startle. “You are, after all, one of our experts on tracking down the source of such strange things.”

“Aha, off the top of my head? I couldn’t say! But… I would suspect part of this weapon came from the far north of the Demon Realm...”

Wei Qingwei finally looks up. “I would make the same guess,” he says, like a real bro. “If only this weapon hadn’t broken, we could have tested its limits of disruption! But our plans have been disrupted there… I’d like to see how something like this would go up against the different types of barriers out there.”

“Zhao Hua Temple’s barriers, perhaps?” Shen Qingqiu suggests.

Yue Qingyuan audibly sighs.

“Of course, they won’t wish to see proof that there are demon lords preparing to invade,” Shen Qingqiu says icily. “How remiss of me to forget that fact. What does it matter if a demon lord’s daughter was swinging around a previously unseen weapon like a child’s favorite new toy?”

-

AN: So, when I say that I want to breathe new life into the canon scenes that I’m redoing and reinterpreting, my goal for this one was to really... build up the upcoming Immortal Alliance Conference and actually connect Sha Hualing’s invasion to... well... anything. 

In SVSSS, Sha Hualing’s invasion happening is just following PIDW events apparently, and SVSSS in my opinion isn’t... really too interested in PIDW worldbuilding or Sha Hualing’s character from the standpoint that this really is a real world now. It’s all about Shen Yuan reliving the PIDW plot. 

So, if I’ve put 200,000+ words at this point into actually trying to establish that this is a real world, these are real people, there are real long-lasting politics and sect relations, that world elements aren’t just spawning into existence when the plot needs them and exist now, even if I’ve been doing so kind of as a joke because I think it’s funny to make Shang Qinghua deal with that, I wanted to actually try to place and connect Sha Hualing’s invasion to other story elements and place Sha Hualing’s character in relation to the others. 

Here, Sha Hualing’s invasion is a spoiled and violent child looking to make herself look good and cause trouble, as it is in SVSSS, but here it’s emphasized that Sha Hualing really is 1) a child, 2) a demon lord’s child, and 3) a future demon lord herself. And Sha Hualing is showing off her family’s inventions in preparation for the Immortal Alliance Conference. This is a move that has consequences for her and for Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, and will continue to have consequences for her (partially indebted to MBJ’s clan) and for Cang Qing Mountain Sect (it makes them look bad in front of the other Great Sects). 

-

“Shang-Shidi, do you recognize any of these materials?” Shen Qingqiu asks next, like he’s reading Shang Qinghua’s mind now! He looks so unimpressed by Shang Qinghua’s startle. “You are, after all, one of our experts on tracking down the source of such strange things.”

“Aha, off the top of my head? I couldn’t say! But… I would suspect part of this weapon came from the far north of the Demon Realm...”

Wei Qingwei finally looks up. “I would make the same guess,” he says, like a real bro. “If only this weapon hadn’t broken, we could have tested its limits of disruption! But our plans have been disrupted there… I’d like to see how something like this would go up against the different types of barriers out there.”

“Zhao Hua Temple’s barriers, perhaps?” Shen Qingqiu suggests.

Yue Qingyuan audibly sighs.

“Of course, they won’t wish to see proof that there are demon lords preparing to invade,” Shen Qingqiu says icily. “How remiss of me to forget that fact. What does it matter if a demon lord’s daughter was swinging around a previously unseen weapon like a child’s favorite new toy?”

-

AN: Me to myself: “...Is there canonical evidence that Mobei-Jun can read and write???” Because, like, the impression I get from this guy is that he basically raised himself and barely survived, so the System could interpret that to make an AU in which MBJ never learned to read or write. 

Mobei-Jun can read and write in “pride is not the word I’m looking for”, Shang Qinghua is just exaggerating here because he’s a little miffed. 

But it’s kind of tempting to write an AU now in which SQH realizes early-on in knowing MBJ that... his king can’t really read or write... his upbringing was so shitty and his father was so careless that MBJ never learned more than a few words that he picked up from context. That’s fucking horrifying. MBJ’s poor socialization and communication levels reach new heights! 

-

“It’s just that something like that happened before, remember, Uncle?” Binghe presses. “With the skinner demon? That same light and that same warm, almost burning feeling! It was different this time - that weapon wasn’t going to hit me, I was blocking it; I know that I was blocking it the right way - but it’s too similar, isn’t it?”

“It’s… very similar,” Shang Qinghua agrees slowly.

 “System?! Bro?! This is your fault!” he thinks. “Why the fuck are you leaving these explanations to me?! If you take points off me for any of this, you piece of shit, I’m going to find a way to strangle you, I swear! Preemptively: fuck off!”

Shang Qinghua lets himself visibly think about, trying to figure out what the fuck to say here. Binghe looks up at him like he’s trying to see into Shang Qinghua’s head to watch his thoughts come together. It’s a lot of pressure to put on a man all of a sudden! Binghe is too clever to be easily fooled by weak bullshit! How is a man supposed to come up with a decent lie under these circumstances?

“Well, ah, it’s happened when you’ve come into contact with demons who are trying to kill you, so it seems like it’s… some kind of unique reaction between that demonic energy and your spiritual energy,” Shang Qinghua says finally, because it’s better than explaining that there’s some shitty, no-good god-like being invested in a predestined plot. “Strange things happen sometimes in life-or-death situations, you know. Cultivators can accidentally pull off great feats sometimes when they’re desperate or panicked, without knowing how they did it.”

Binghe doesn’t look very reassured. Which makes sense, because a long-winded way of saying “I don’t know, it sounds like a freak accident to me” isn’t really reassuring.

-

AN: This, plus Sha Hualing’s invasion, is about Shang Qinghua’s coming up against the consequences of his choices. He can’t really have everything at once! He’s managed to have a lot all at once so far, but the time for Binghe’s demon reveal is coming closer, and Shang Qinghua is going to have to make some tough decisions and live with them. He’s going to have to deal with the people in his life having opinions on his tough decisions. 

Shang Qinghua is trying to keep the System happy, with his eyes on the end goal of keeping Binghe out of the Abyss, which makes him unwilling to take certain risks deviating from the plot. But, if you’re looking at it from the perspective of someone who doesn’t know about the System or the plot, Shang Qinghua’s decision-making seems completely illogical. 

Binghe is too clever not to at least notice that there’s some bullshit happening here. He doesn’t know what his uncle isn’t telling him, but Shang Qinghua isn’t the greatest bold-faced liar, so he knows there’s something. 

- 

At the end of the day, Shang Qinghua leaves his fellow Peak Lords (Shen Qingqiu, Qi Qingqi, Liu Qingge, and Tang Qingling) arguing in circles over cold trails (Yue Qingyuan is stuck refereeing, poor bastard). He returns to his Leisure House and finds a familiar ice demon lounging in his sitting room, eating some of his snacks.

“My king, did you help Sha Hualing escape?!” Shang Qinghua demands.

“She did not contribute,” Mobei-Jun answers.

Mobei-Jun looks good, like breaking in and out of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect last night was no trouble for him. Why would it be any trouble for him? He’s been doing it for years and years without getting caught, after all!

“How did you bypass the cell’s seals so cleanly?” Shang Qinghua wonders, as he puts some papers aside and kicks off his boots.

The cell doors hadn’t been ripped off its hinges, just… taken off like they were never attached… which combined with the ice-related injuries on the guards, plus the fact that the intruder slipped in like a shadow and left the same way, kind of gave the whole thing away.

Mobei-Jun raises his eyebrows. “You have shown me many such protections.”

“Ah… yeah… I guess I did do that.”

-

AN: Presenting Sha Hualing as I did: a dangerous and political figure even though she’s only a teenager, was also meant to reflect on Shang Qinghua’s relationship with Mobei-Jun. Mobei-Jun is the enemy. Mobei-Jun may be on Shang Qinghua’s side and his own side, but he is not on Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s side and he has loyalties to people in direct opposition to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. 

Sha Hualing is, in many ways, Mobei-Jun’s people. He’s completely unfazed by her violence. To him, Sha Hualing’s behavior is normal and expected, if the foolishness and arrogance of someone trying to act grown-up. He is not human. He is from a completely different world to Shang Qinghua. 

And their separate worlds are now colliding. 

Shang Qinghua really can’t have everything he wants here. He’s a traitor and, realistically, he can’t expect that not to come out sooner or later. He’s making decisions for the sect (releasing SHL to prevent another demon invasion (and also to keep the plot on track)) that Yue Qingyuan might have agreed with if he knew the full picture of SQH’s spying (all he knows at the moment is that SQH has informants), but that YQY doesn’t know about and so can’t agree with, so SQH is acting beyond his authority letting MBJ break SHL out. 

It’s a mess! It’s not sustainable! Shang Qinghua’s old character role and his new character role can’t continue to coexist like this. 

-

Thinking of worrying unnecessarily, desperate to change the subject away from the looming plot, Shang Qinghua brings up the very important subject of Mobei-Jun possibly, maybe, if he has the time, letting him know when to expect him, when he’s going somewhere, and when he’ll be back. He’s brought this up before, though mostly in a “my king, this humble servant would really appreciate it if you at least learned to knock, but if that’s too much to ask, it’s fine, it’s really fine, never mind, forget I brought it up” kind of way.

He only realizes just how daring it sounds after he says it! He’s always kind of figured that the proud Mobei-Jun would take offense to the concept of being at Shang Qinghua’s beck and call in any way. Why would Mobei-Jun need to explain himself?

“Why?” Mobei-Jun even says.

“...Why?” Shang Qinghua repeats, kind of hoping that he wouldn't have to explain the things he asks for. Mobei-Jun said he could ask for things, but he has to explain himself too? That's really too much. “I didn’t get to see you at all while I was gone! I got back and I didn’t know when I’d get to see you again, my king.”

This gets him another random pinch to the cheek, but it also gets him another surprising kiss. Mobei-Jun is apparently not even a little bit offended by this request. So it’s fine! This one thing, at least, is really fine.

-

AN: But Mobei-Jun is also becoming one of SQH’s rocks in many ways! This relationship is new and exciting and comforting! Giving up or betraying Mobei-Jun is completely out of the question for Shang Qinghua. 

I’m kind of fucking loving these secret forbidden romance vibes. 

If Shang Qinghua asked, Mobei-Jun would whisk him away from everything right now, but he understands that Shang Qinghua needs to be here for his nephew, his sister-in-laws, and his students. With his father as king, Mobei-Jun doesn’t have the position or authority yet to make any kind of peace with CQMS. MBJ’s relationship with SQH could get him in deep shit with his father, with his uncle, and with other demon lords. 

Shang Qinghua is a filthy traitor and he’s dragging MBJ down with him. 

[youareunbearable]

because i hate making myself sad and knowing that liushen is the better ship but knowing it wont ever happen crushes my soul so much casue im also sad about luo bingmei im making a new headcanon where LQG as an Older Brother sensed that SY is basically the same age/a little bit older than LMY and is always doing stupid shit and basically was like “Oh He’s Different And I Have To Protect Him Now I’ve Adopted Him LMY Say Hello To Ur New Er-Ge” 

like even tho hes technically younger than SQQ he like KNOWS that SY is a toddler running wild and not only doesn’t have all the info of whats going on and is too emotionally stunted to know himself either so his Big Brother Instinct is getting mixed up with Do I Love Him??? Romantically??? Platonically?????? and just keeps that thought process in a box in the back of his mind to unpack later or have LMY do it for him later and just like instinctively just follows behind SQQ picking up his things and keeping him safe and bringing him cool gifts like he did with LMY and scolding him when he does dumb bitch shit and cleaning up his messes for him while hes ranting and SQQ is like ???? thanks???? and everyone else is like Oh No He’s In Love except for LMY who knows exactly whats going on but loves the Drama of it all

Then one day it comes out that SQQ isn’t actually SJ the cranky old alleycat but is actually SY a pampered house kitten who was (in terms of ppl who live for hundreds of years long) a literal child left in charge of toddlers and LQG like sags in relief like OH 

[eldritch-elrics]

svsss: shen qingqiu corpse hot potato (among other things)

so i actually read all this last week and then forgot to finish my post about it but?? here you go. more commentary!

got all the way to chapter 57 and shit is getting wack

“it wasn’t sqq’s first time being kissed” please we need more than little tidbits of shen yuan backstory i want to know more

honestly i’m dying over the commotion over sqq’s corpse. binghe you are so weird (affectionate). really xuexiao’ing it up in here

(for the hundredth time, binghe go to therapy challenge)

sqq holding his own corpse djkhgsds

also oho, beginnings of sqq sexuality crisis: he says he’s definitely straight right now but hmmmmm. we shall see

in general it’s so funny that he’s now Remembered Gay People Exist and it’s just shattered his whole worldview

binghe is seriously so emotionally constipated. he’s getting better at revealing his true feelings and not going the route of either “being too cold” or “straight up lying about his situation” but still.... man. they’ve got soooo much work to do on their communication still lol

oh also!! sqq finally realizing that his lbh is different from og!lbh! and that he shouldn’t just treat him as a character in a novel! that’s progress!!!

i think it would make sense for their respective development to involve like... learning to stop objectifying each other? sqq’s gotten pretty far with this, as his reason for helping binghe now is less out of self-preservation instinct and more out of compassion. i’m comparing it to the places in the beginning where sqq threw lbh in front of monsters and stuff, knowing he’d survive because ~plot armor~ but not considering how lbh might have felt about that.

that same theme even shows up in like jinlan city/the water prison, in the parts where i was complaining about sqq making the system solve problems for him instead of solving problems for himself. because he saw binghe as a problem to be solved with game mechanics rather than with interpersonal skills

it’s really interesting! personally i find sqq’s actions easy to understand/ “justify” but he’s certainly wronged binghe and he’s realizing that now. character development! i really like how the meta stuff plays into it

so! zhuzhi-lang! plothole filling!!!

i knew the snake in the cave was gonna come back :3

i have Thoughts about him and tianlang-jun but i’ll get to that in a moment

so we’ve gone from “rumors about bingqiu fucking” to “an entire ballad about bingqiu fucking” and wow. that is so much. loving sqq’s reactions

if sqq was on tumblr he’d have “do not interact if you support rpf” somewhere on his blog

i like that you can rent swords

the scene with lbh facing off with the peak lords!!! oh man!!!!! emotions

yue qingyuan has huge lan xichen vibes

so has lbh known sqq was alive ever since sha hualing brought him to him? it was a little unclear how long he’s known

SO happy to see shang qinghua again. my BOY. sqq is so fucking mad at him kjhsdjhgjhsds

mobei-jun just fucking tossing him into the center of the room lmao

so i had to switch translations because the one i was reading was unfinished! the other one seems pretty good too though

but it censors swear words :(

also i think it’s interesting that it calls it the sun moon dew seed/plant/flower? instead of mushroom? i guess 芝 (which is afaik a character used to describe it) is ambiguous enough..... idk i went on a bit of a research binge about this the other day lmao because i liked the mushroom plot thing so much

finally sqq is like “alright. i made this mess with lbh so i’m gonna fix it by going with him.” woooo we love character development

poor dude in house arrest though lol. this is not really a great situation and i totally understand why sqq is upset

so i’m not a huge fan of how possessive the love interests of mxtx novels are? like i get it, i know the relationships aren’t supposed to be realistic or totally healthy or whatever, but it’s not my thing. so i hope lbh grows out of it? or at least out of this toxic iteration of it

SQH VISIT HELL YES... MY DUDE...

trash man i love him so much. he’s like. totally rooting for bingqiu to happen it’s so funny. oh and he’s absolutely jealous as well (didn’t it already get established that binghe has a huge dick? well. hmm.)

poor guy lost his cool outline :( was forced to write a shitty harem novel :( the injustice of it all. no one has suffered more than airplane :(

jokes aside i LOVE how he's this.. passionate author who had to tone down the interesting-ness of his ideas because of what his readers wanted. makes him a little bit more sympathetic

ok back to bingqiu. this scene was interesting because i can see where both of them are coming from. both of them have lied to each other! and finally lbh is doing some apologizing

and then they have their whole fucking tussle on the bed which was definitely a little uncomfy (binghe use your words challenge! not everything can be solved by ripping open your crush’s shirt!) but also really hilarious???? idek. they’re just like. wrestling. and lbh likes being hit. ok kinky bitch <3

idk, this was one of the scenes i was warned about because Iffy Consent, and i agree it’s iffy, but personally i didn’t find it that upsetting at all? it seemed pretty clear that binghe was just being dramatic for the hell of it and i wasn’t worried that he’d actually do anything sqq was not ok with. (apart from, yknow, the whole house arrest thing in general lol.) i think i’ve heard there’s some more dubious stuff later on - interested to see what i’ll think of that. really there is so much already that’s fucked up about their relationship - at this point i’m just along for the ride! it’s like that post that’s like “why must a relationship be healthy is it not enough to see two fictional people destroy each other” or whatever it was

anyway. omg sqq back in his old body!!!

i’m actually very surprised about this. the mushroom body had so much spiritual energy and now it’s just... gone? guess they’ll have to find another way to solve the xin mo thing

poor binghe had to see his shizun fucking rot before his eyes though??? man. i want to draw that now

thought: is zhuzhi-lang's whole character just puppeted by the system in order to fill plot holes?

OKAY SO TIANLANG-JUN

he’s funny. and very calm. just sittin in a coffin! i like that

other than that i have mixed feelings. on the one hand i feel like he is a pretty good villain - i love that the system is actually making sqq fix plot holes, and i love that TLJ was the big bad of airplane’s original draft, and “i need to steal my son’s body in order to come back to life properly” is great (i’m always up for fucky body swap stuff)

on the other hand, it feels a little bit late in the story to introduce a major villain. i would have liked to see a LOT more foreshadowing on this - more talking about tlj (maybe in a way that assumes he’s not a threat but makes it clear he’s going to be important), more of the system getting sqq to fix more minor plotholes, etc

however some parts of it do work as a pretty good twist! especially the realization that zzl is the one who started the jinlin city sqq callout party!!! that’s pretty fun, and makes a lot of sense :0

oh i also like that tlj is like “no what i like humans i’m not gonna wipe them out! i just don’t like the sects”

now i don’t think this is going to happen but i think it would be very fun if tlj had some sort of fourth wall awareness and was siding with sqq for meta reasons to take down the protagonist

so binghe daddy issues huh

i made a post on this already but freud would love him. no wonder lbh got so attached to sqq......

now that i’ve remembered sv exists i’m gonna read more :0 excited to see what happens next!

[vroomian]

OG!Luo Binghe getting a reality check and stealth-marrying Yan Ruizhi is my jam and I’m sorry that I haven’t been screaming about it from a rooftop before now. Honestly, I just picture yrx being just as oblivious to the fact they’re pretty much married for CENTURIES while lbh is thrilled with his life now as a househusband amid the various revenge plots and bs caused by lbh’s protagonist halo. Sqq and Bingmei meeting Bingge and Ruizhi, realizing that Bingge is the original goods is bound to be hilarious.

lbh latching on like a clingy octopus is an incredibly hilarious mental image. after a few centuries pass, yrz is like...... at least the food is good. their little house is probably the safest place in the world because by this point yrz did his thing and became super overpowered and learned all sorts of wards because he got sick of the bullshit lbh tracked in after him every damn day. not even the plot can get at lbh there, tbh.

lbh is living his dream, taking care of the various animals they’ve acquired from somewhere, cooking for his wife (his wife!!!! his!!!! wife!!!!!!!), going on various trips with yrz for spice, just living out all his domestic dreams. 

then one day, the sky cracks open and bing mei and sqq fall out of it, right onto binge's prize-winning cabbage-patch kids*.

yrz:.... why are there two lbhs. 

lbg and lbm: *spiderman meme* it’s you!

sqq:.....fucking protagonist halos 

yrz: oh shit, you too? *in English* bro.  

sqq: !!!! bro!!!!

sqq and yrz: *bond over books and dealing with plot bullshit* 

lbg: this feels dangerous. 

lbm: shizun! shizun don’t talk to her so much, I'm right here, wu wu wu, don’t look at anyone else while i’m right here, don’t ignooooore meeeee. 

yrz backs right up at lbm’s shamelessness attitude. she also gets a little nauseous at that face making that expression. 

yrz, grabbing at lbg’s arm: holy shit. i’m so glad i got you instead. if you ever try to pull that attitude i’ll kill you. don’t do it. stay the way you are. 

lbg: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(*cabbage-patch kids are, of course, cabbages that can grow children. what, like sqh was going to just reject a perfectly good rip off of baby-making methods for infertile wives???)

(why is lbg growing them? because shut up. shut up is why.)

[princeofvelvet]

Thank you for answering my ask....If you don't mind me asking again, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

I love these sorts of questions! I've answered my top 5 MXTX characters, but not a top 5 from each novel, this should be fun! It took me all day to answer because deciding on just five was hard!

SVSSS

Has to be Luo Binghe. I didn't think I was going to love him this much but i love the contrast of his hot serious demon lord persona and his house husband persona! I love how sticky he is and yet how independent. And of course I love how horny he is for SQQ! He had the deck stacked against him from the start, as the kind of character who'd often be the person in the love triangle who ends up alone or with a pity prize lover (based on his personality), but he ends up with a husband who loves him lots! 10/10

Shen Qingqiu. I love his internal screaming. He's hilarious, but also kind! And he's elegant (yes that might be because he's in someone else's body but still!) and he loves to look cool in front of others! He also takes no shit from LBH, as the one person who can scold him and live! I love him, also 10/10

Gongyi Xiao. You know what happened with him. I explicitly thought "aww, he's so good! I love him, I hope nothing bad happens to him." He was just a sweet boy, doing his best! I would have looved for him to see bingqiu endgame

Shang Qinghua. There's something so great about an author trapped in their own novel. About an author who has decided to write what'll make money even though he'd like to write other stories. About someone who doesnt need to prove himself to anyone because he knows his worth. I havent read all the airplane extras but this is how I choose to see him based on the novel.

Zhuzhi-Lang. Ah! I love a loyal, tragic snake demon boy. Not so fun fact though, it didn't click to me that he'd died until over a year later when my friend mentioned it, and I cried for a full day. In my mind he's alive and well and BQ visits him and TLJ often.

MDZS

Lan Wangji. My man! I fell in love with him from the start. He's serious and seriously crushing on WWX. He has good morals but he'll follow his beloved to the ends of the earth and out the margins of the law! He's learned to trust WWX and that resolve is ironclad. Also, man of few words!

Xiao Xingchen. He's so gentle and so tragic, there's nothing I want more than to give him a happy life.

Wei Wuxian. Precious! Powerful! Funny! Motherly! He's got it all and then some. Super smart and yes cocky and evil sometimes but what's life without a little spice. Also how much he loves his husband?? Get you a man like this please

Jin Guangyao. He grew on me! I just love every version of him. You wanna make him redeemable? You wanna make him even more unhinged and murderous? You wanna make him a misunderstood baby? yesyesyes give me all of it!

A Qing. I adore her. And it didnt hit me how much i adore her until I was talking to a friend about her and I realized hey wait I minute I really love this girl!! She's brave and spunky and perfect for lewding.

TGCF (this was the one i had the hardest time with because it keeps fluctuating depending on time of day and air humidity. So i cheated)

Shi Wudu. The husband! He's the one that never fluctuates on this list. Always at the top. Same thing as GYX, I remember thinkng "AW, he's such a good brother, I love him so much! Hope... nothing bad happens to him..". And what's not to love about a guy who'd move heaven and earth for their little brother. Very sexy of him to exist.

Hua Cheng. I hate him but I love him. He's hot and he sucks and I love being mean to him but also sometimes giving him rewards. I also love his Hong Hong er and Wu Ming versions a lot!! They all must be lewded

Bai Wuxiang. I think it was very sexy of him to play with xl so much. I looove having him do mean things to XL and HC...

I feel like id be remiss not to give xian le trio their own spot here. I couldnt put one above or below the other. And it's all due to book 4. Their relationship in book 4 is exquisite

Pei Ming & Xuan Ji. idk, PM makes me laugh and I also like being mean to him a bit but also getting him laid, i think he'd appreciate it and XJ, honestly I didnt love her this much until i watched the donghua, but she's lovely! There's so much fun to be had with her and im letting her be next to PM on my list, I also think she'd appreciate that

[touchmycoat]

Lev!anon: I'm rewatching the Tap Out Job and just adoring Eliot's enthusiasm for the sport as well as Eliot having Parker "demonstrate" on Hardison. I imagine LQG would have SY demonstrate on LBH, but LBH might just enjoy the grappling too much. And I'm just drooling at the idea of LQG getting beat down the way Eliot was. Why is LQG whump so enticing?? And then there's so much cuteness with Parker and Hardison in the Stork Job (I like how you turned out!).

LKSJNDFLKSD LBH GOING “choke me shizun >///<” AND SQQ BEING A LITTLE FLUSTERED ALL “binghe stop messing around” BUT KEEPING UP THE ARM BAR ANYWAY, AND BINGHE’S JUST HAVING THE TIME OF HIS LIFE

and yeah babe, me too...the inherent eroticism of letting the enemy beat the crap out of you because you trust your team leader to call all the shots...

lololol i’m realizing at this point that bingqiu need a whole backstory too. Yes the Stork Job!!!! both SQQ and LBH are orphans—that’s how they knew each other, they were placed in the same foster care situation? It lasted for a good while, and it was the only bright spot in baby!bing’s young life. Clearly they both turned to a life of crime, but SQQ did end up in a nice family’s care...Maybe that’s who YQY is????? Rich young master of the house (SQQ’s older foster brother) with a debilitating chronic condition. SJ’s the second older brother, also from foster care, doing a lot more shady shit. One of his jobs goes crashing and burning, YQY tries to help him out but they get completely screwed over. SJ goes to prison and YQY & SY are left destitute, both with shit health and healthcare. That’s why SY goes into hacking, picking up the fake name from SJ’s illegal work. He makes enough money to help YQY get back on his feet, and YQY’s been doing quiet little jobs while he waits for SJ to get back out of prison.

and LQG is...someone SY knew from school while he lived with YQ&SJ. I love me some liujiu so maybe there was a misunderstanding—LQG ends up hospitalized at the end of the situation that put SJ in prison, and all this time everyone, SY included, believes SJ sold LQG out. Turns out the truth is something more like SJ knew he had to take the fall, but he knows that if YQY and SY knew the truth—that SJ had been set up—they’d go after the bad guys and try to get revenge. LQG’s present ‘cause that’s what he does, so SJ non-fatally shoots him sdkjfnsdkf. LQG really did think SJ betrayed them all at first too, but got suspicious about it after a while. The truth all comes out during the 79 job tho...

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

SV ch.55

Okay I’m nervous. 

Looking at the style of murals to the sides of the corridor, there was a strong yin ambiance, and it was clear to see this was Luo Binghe’s headquarters in the Demon Realm.

But I am totally not panicking.

EDIT:

The two both had nothing to say, not giving each other a sideways glance. One in front and one behind, their footsteps made no breath of sound. The atmosphere was stiff and cold.

This is the definition of PAIN. I need some bingqiu communication right now

EDIT 2:

Pushing open the door and entering, the furnishings and arrangement of the room were quite familiar-looking. In fact, it was quite similar to the bamboo house on Qing Jing Peak.

Omg. OMG. So let me get this straight. Lbh spent years mourning his Shizun, keeping the wounds he had left him, keeping sqq's broken sword, keeping his freaking corpse and (now we find out) making a room similar to the one in the bamboo house-

This is borderline obsession and yet my heart aches for lbh so much i just... PLS Shizun. PLS.

EDIT 3:

Now acting like a miserable child and throwing tantrums, making his heart overflow with sympathy. Now again hitting his face and telling him it was all an act. Real or fake, his eyes weren’t sharp enough to clearly see autumn feathers and see through Luo Binghe’s heart to understand what he was really thinking, some parts truth and some parts hypocrisy.

(Guys, sqq is angry because lbh put on a facade in the dreamscape. He is angry and disappointed and wary of lbh possibly using the same "trick" on him again and again just to move sqq's heart. I honestly thought Shizun had understood by now.

Like, okay, lbh tricked him the second time to see if that was really Shizun or just a figment of his imagination, but can you blame him?? You have been dead for years, sqq!! He probably went insane with pain, has always been in love with you when in his eyes you betrayed him by pushing him into the abyss, come on! If you two would just fucking talk-)

While he was still brooding over these thoughts, Luo Binghe walked a step closer to him.

(A n X i E t Y)

EDIT 4: here is an exemplar of Shizun using a series of excuses to keep himself rooted in place and not back down in front of an advancing lbh. Still, he is a mess inside.

BRAVE SHIZUN.

But he was still inevitably tense, his heart stretched taut as a bowstring, his eyelids jumping and fingertips curled.

How was Luo Binghe so perceptive? He advanced another step.

“Shizun, what do you think I’m going to do to you?”

(o m g. Omg o can't feel my legs-) 　

Shen Qingqiu said sincerely, “I cannot guess.”

EDIT 5:

Luo Binghe reached out his right hand. Shen Qingqiu didn’t make a sound or movement, but his gaze couldn’t help but stick to his fingertips, following them as they reached out.

(I AM TOTALLY HYPERVENTILATING RN)

That hand was neat and slender. It didn’t look like the hand of a Demon Race young master who had already taken countless lives, but rather one which was born to pluck strings, a hand to burn incense and bathe in snow. It slid shyly over his cheek, faintly brushing his skin.

(OKAY SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL AN AMBULANCE R I G H T T H E F U CK N O W 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK MY HEART BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST AND MY LUNGS CONSTRICTING LIKE THIS IS NORMAL?

LBH IS ToUcHiNg Shizun's cheek-)

And then it landed on his throat.

*chokes*

Lbh no- *whispers*

EDIT 6: I died, like, for 5 minutes before gathering the courage to go on. And BLESS GOD I DID BECAUSE

Luo Binghe retracted his hand. The next time he opened his mouth, it was impossible to tell if he was happy, angry, sorrowful, or joyful. “My blood, it’s not responding to my beckoning.”

AAAAHAHSNJXUDKEHXKE DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHY, BINGHE? YOU SEE, IT'S A FUNNY STORY. IT INVOLVES A SNAKE-MAN, MAIDEN SHIZUN AND MANY WOMEN-

EDIT 7:

Luo Binghe said, “It looks like in these short few days, Shizun has had another fortuitous meeting.”　

Shen Qingqiu said, “Well, what can you do about it? Make me drink it again?”　

Luo Binghe said, “You’ll run if you drink it, you’ll run if you don’t, both options are the same. I had better not make Shizun add another layer of loathing for me in his heart.”

(OKAY NO. N O. I'm not good with tension. I can't bear it. So pls stop and no one will get hurt, okay?)

Luo Binghe fixed his gaze on him for a time, then said, “Is there anything you desire?”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Anything is acceptable?”

Luo Binghe nodded. A sudden malicious sentiment arising from his gut, Shen Qingqiu bluntly said, “I want to see you as little as possible. Best if I never see you at all.”

(WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

NO

THIS IS WRONG, WHAT NOVEL IS THIS, WHAT THE FUCK FUCKITY FUCK

NO

okay it's a joke, right? Ah ah ah ah funny, now stop this. When I said I desperately wanted these two to meet, i meant to pray for FLUFF. NOT THIS. THIS. WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS.

MY HEART IS BREAKING? DO I DESERVE IT, AFTER PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THEM TO MEET? I dOn'T fUcKiNg ThInK sO, so freaking solve this-)

Luo Binghe looked like he never expected Shen Qingqiu to make this sort of request, his face paling.

(SHIZUN YOU WERE MORE CLUER THEN A FREAKING DEMONIC LORD. HUG HIM. HuG hIm Or I sWeAr-)

If you are hearing something, IT'S ME SCREAMING LIKE A MADWOMAN. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.

EDIT 8: thank you, system, your presence always makes my anger cool off. I love reading Shizun talk to it, it reminds me this novel is too good to be true, an yet it exists. Bless.

With a ringing notification sound, the System quietly began to download the upgrade package. Shen Qingqiu had a sudden thought and asked, “Right, what is the name of this feature upgrade?”

The System: 【Small Scenario Pusher Luxury Edition.】

SEE SEE I LOVE THE SYSTEM, IT ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT TO DO. NOT ONLY THE SMALL SCENARIO PUSHER IS BACK, IT CAME IN A L U X U R Y EDITION.

Let's go bring down those heartbreak points now

EDIT 9:

With many official duties to attend to, perhaps unable to extricate himself, all along he had not shown his face.

���or maybe that day, his glass heart had been shattered by Shen Qingqiu’s harsh words, and he didn’t dare to appear.　

Shen Qingqiu tore his thoughts away from that latter path with great difficulty.

IS THAT REGRET, SHIZUN? IS IT? I S I T? System, pls summon me and let me go hug lbh or else I'll cry

EDIT 10:

Furthermore, Luo Binghe didn’t act like the characters in the books his younger sister liked to read in his previous life and shackle him with chains, blindfolded and gagged, stripped and beaten. He might as well be content with whatever he has and make himself at home wherever he is.

(SY HAD A YOUNGER SISTER? DO YOU THINK SHE READ HARDCORE BL?)

Bull***t!　

For Shen Qingqiu to attempt to comfort himself with these words, there must be sh*t in his brains! He wasn’t some sort of Stockholm syndrome patient, feeling deep gratitude for being fattened in captivity. Don’t you understand, you need to bring about a fortunate lifestyle yourself, not by relying on others’ charity?!

(You're right, Shizun, of course. That's why there is a pretty simple solution- TALK TO LBH WITHOUT ACCUSING HIM, TRY TO UNDERSTAND. WOULD YOU?)

EDIT 11: this chapter is playing with my patience. Bamboo does not grow in the Demon Realm, but lbh ordered for ppl to find a way. Shizun FLIRTED WITH A MAID ASKING FOR SOMETHING TO EAT BUT THAT BOWL WAS PREPARED BY LBH, BECAUSE IT HAS THE SAME TASTE AND NO ONE EATS HUMAN FOOD THERE AND IT BREAKS MY HEART AND I JUST CAN'T OKAY I AM CRYING STOP THIS SHIT

EDIT 12: sqh is here!

OH. SO HE SOLD SHIZUN OUT. OH, okay. I don't know if I should hate him or congratulate him, I never know if I should consider the events from the point of view of a reader or a writer, me being both (I mean, like, I occasionally write, so I know sometimes one makes characters do strange, despicable things, not like I am a super pro write didn't want to sound pretentious, eh eh), so I'm like "what the fucking hell sqh, what about friendship?" and "omg good job mxtx, this character is so interesting, what even is moral ptf!"

And now

Lbh

Gave Xiu Ya sword back to Shizun. Let's add this to the increasingly long list of "things that show how much lbh cares for Shizun and make my heart crack"

EDIT 13:

On the other side, Shang Qinghua laughed nervously and rubbed his hands, clicking his tongue and saying, “Aiyah, I really, really never thought… the storyline would bend so far out of shape. Remarkable, really remarkable.”

Shen Qingqiu: “The stallion novel protagonist you wrote turned into a cut-sleeve, shouldn’t you be angry?”

Shang Qinghua said sincerely, “It doesn’t matter. Either way, the one he fell for wasn’t me.”

(there, see? I love him.)

Shen Qingqiu gave him a cordial middle finger, lowering his head to polish his sword. Shang Qinghua gave him a thumbs-up. “Really, you don’t need to be so pessimistic. You have good prospects for the future, quite good prospects. These golden thighs, they’re strong, reliable!”

Shen Qingqiu said, “Take your ****ing golden thighs. If I have to hug those thighs, where do you think they’ll take me? Between the legs!”

Shang Qinghua: “Between the legs is even better, ah. Between the legs is a man’s most important place.”

(OMG OMG THIS turning out too good I'm having too much fun!!

Sqh surely is a man of wisdom. BLESS HIM.)

EDIT 14: okay plot, PLOT.

“…” At long last Shen Qingqiu knew the true origin of all those plot holes. “So you just went to write the harem plotline, and might as well leave the more serious Bing-ge’s dad plotline full of holes?”

(So the big final boss should have been lbh's dad? FATHER-IN-LAW IS REALLY GONNA SHOW UP IF SHIZUN FILLS THE HOLES? I AM SO SO S O O O O FREAKING EXCITED.

But I am honestly scared, 'cause this means whatever sqh's previous plan for the novel were, they may still happen. That means everyone is potentially in danger, if the danger is not lbh.)

EDIT 15: SQH WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING USEFUL ABOUT HOW HE WANTED TO BUILD SQQ'S CHARACTER AND THEN WHAT?

Lbh comes.

Like, I love you baby, but-

Luo Binghe’s eyelashes drooped. After standing for a bit, it seemed he had come to a major decision. He said stiffly, “Even though those earlier events happened in a dream realm, I took advantage of Shizun. But the feelings I revealed to you then, those were not false.”

(GOOD BABY. G O O D. Let it sink, let Shizun understand how much you care.l

EDIT 16: lbh is trying to finally, finally let Shizun understand how he felt and why he did what he did and I'm so glad he is trying. I get why these two would need to learn how to trust one another all over again, that is totally okay, it's fine if they need to guard their feelings for a while before settling this problem, so reading about them talking, about lbh trying to reach Shizun fills me with hope.

His face gradually settled into a gloomy expression from his sneer. Drawing closer the distance between the two, he said, “But what if I said, that towards Shizun, I only remember, not hate, most likely I wouldn’t be believed.”

SEE. SEE.

[coolshadowtwins]

Post Canon, SQQ now has to deal with wife plots.

But, Op, that’s the plot of many fanfics already! Well, what if he had to deal with every wife plot ever. Bingge had 300-3000 wives, depending on the translation you were following.

Man’s I have to assume that while each wife got at least one (1) wife plot to her name, the fan favorites (NYY, LMY, SHL etc) got multiple over the years.

Now, most of these were probably incredibly standard. And most of them, while frightening to the multitude of civilian wives Bingge probably had, were not going to be much more than an annoyance to a cultivator like SQQ.

The problem is the frequency.

It probably would take a few years for the story to catch up to the plot. SQQ gets hit with a few scattered ones here and there for the first decade or so, but he doesn’t think much of it. Shit just a happens to him, you know?

But then, all of a sudden, he gets kidnapped during a night hunt. The villain is the man that had called for help with a demon. In PIDW, he was the evil uncle/father/cousin/male authority figure in this wife’s life, wanting revenge on Bingge and ultimately introducing a new wife. Here, he’s decided that he’ll hurt Binghe’s husband instead Binghe himself. SQQ defeats him in an hour.

He goes home and tries to forget about it. Only to be hit with some kind of sex pollen from a plant that MQF was trying to study, completely by accident. In PIDW, this had been used to get another chapter out of a particularly laced up wife, who the comments disliked because they felt her boring.

And ok, fine. SQQ still has Binghe- they fix this problem in a night.

Only to be kidnapped again the next day when he goes to town, this time by a random demon looking for a quick buck.

This goes on and on. It’s almost never anything difficult, but it’s a lot. These are too many plots to happen to one man! Sure, Bingge was involved in all those plots too, but he was almost always the one coming in and saving the day- not the one kidnapped or poisoned or stabbed. It’s not long before SQQ gets exhausted, and that everyone around him is constantly on edge, waiting for the next bad luck.

It all kinda climax’s as the bamboo house gets set on fire. In PIDW, fire is used twice like this- once, a portion of the palace gets set on fire, leading to a arc where the wives have to come together to rptect themselves until Bingge shows up. (This arc was very disliked because most of the wives didn’t act in character.) the other time was when a wife was trapped in the burning of her family home, franticly trying to get her belongings out and then being comforted from the loss by Bingge afterwards.

SQQ knows this. He knows all of this. He has figured out what every plot has been so far, and had managed to avoid a few by recognizing the signs, only for them to come back around when he least expected it. He had thought that he could always just ride out the wife plots- sure, Binghe had a lot of wives, but it couldn’t be that bad, right? Except he watched the bamboo house on fire, frozen, and realized that he couldn’t keep doing this.

The bamboo house was fine, in the end. There were disciples on duty, ready to help. Nearly nothing was lost. The fire spread out into the woods, a little, but other than a small area of destruction, it hadn’t caused all together that much damage. Except SQQ couldn’t figure out which of the two plots this was, and that was freaking him out.

This leads to him breaking down on Binghe that night, who has been out of his head with worry for ages about what was going on. SQQ tells him everything, about SY, the system, wife plots. Binghe asks if they can stop this. SQQ doesn’t know how- these plots were for Binghe’s wives, and here he only has a husband.

And Binghe certainly doesn’t want another spouse. He’s quite happy with his husband, thank you very much! But he then he gets to thinking.

Bingge couldn’t have loved every single wife, right? Binghe had a feeling he didn’t act love any of them, judging by how quickly his other self had tried to latch onto Shizun. So it’s not the act of love that causes these so called ‘wife plots’, it’s the act of marriage. And Binghe’s not so cruel as to inflict these plots on someone unexpecting (well, for Shizun he was. But he had another option.)

Binghe had to be the one to marry them- but not the one they loved. And he knew, both fortunately and unfortunately, that there were many men that would do anything for SQQ.