#This just gets progressively worse
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Really I think nothing shouts "my first Presidential election as a politically active person was 2016" more than the fact that when I feel hope and excitement for the future (possible President Harris) for more than five minutes I immediately get a crushing, all-consuming anxiety of "feeling this positive emotion now is going to make it so much worse when the worst thing possible happens" to the extent that I'll probably need my break-glass-in-case-of-emergency anxiety medication.
#politics#us politics#kamala harris#donald trump#2016 election#2024 elections#personal post#I can't feel any hope about politics without my brain reflexively shutting it down in case things get too nice before the fall#I know Harris has flaws#But I just like her--she's more progressive and feels joy and isn't shy about hating Trump#But then my brain is like “do not get attached or The Pain will be worse later”#This happened in 2020 too---I couldn't believe it when we won I was so busy preparing for the worst#harris for president#democrats#vote democrat#seriously vote democrat#If you are following me or reading my fic and capable of voting in the US election and are not voting Democrat please feel free to fuck off#You're the reason Trump won in 2016 and if you prove my anxiety brain right I hope all your food comes out burnt for the rest of your life#good thing I have therapy tomorrow
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End-of-month sale post~
Velociraptor: $2500
All the rest: $270
Message me directly if you're interested in one~
#sculpture#feathered dinosaur#paleoart#faux taxidermy#for sale#raptor#dinosaurs#Why does it feel like tumblrs image quality is getting slightly worse#busy with commissions this month so there's only a few#Velociraptor doesn't count that ones been in progress forever#listen aside from the actual Anchiornis they're just anchiornithids okay? Wasn't aiming for particular species here sorry#next batch will be more specific
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okay so i know that dash baxter barely gets any character development in the show but like the idea that danny hates dash? boo, lame, overdone!!!! danny who can beat dash up and dash knows this and everyone knows this but by god danny needs something normal to cling on to so dash shoves him in a locker everyday?? yeah that's the good shit
#like danny more than anything wants to be normal except he is schrodinger;s person so he'll never be normal#but dash still shoves him in the locker everyday and dash still gives him swirlies and dash still calls him 'fen-twerp'#so he's still a normal teen... right?#dash doesn't bully danny for a day and he watches the way danny get progressively worse throughout the day#dash bewildered: is he like- going through bully withdrawls???#tucker exhausted after 2nd period: dude can you just like shove him into a locker or smth?#dash: i'm trying to be better!! kwan says that i am being too much these days#sam also exhausted: be better after danny graduates#also the idea of like dash bullying danny is their way of saying 'hello' is sooo funny to me#danny as he's getting shoved into a locker: so how's your mom?#dash: better now but like that cough isn' going away yknow?#danny contorting himself to fit in the locker better: you should take her to dr. esperanza later. i heard the flu's going around#dash closing the door: alr thanks for the tip. stay in there for at least 5 minutes#danny preparing to nap: whatever#dp#danny phantom#danny fenton#dash baxter#swagger bishie#teddy ghost#dandash#ig i'll tag those bc i am a pretty big swagger bishie shipper but you could totally read this as platonic
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kiss the girl
summary ⎯ five times dan heng has thought about kissing you, and the one time he actually does.
tana's words ⎯ i've been recently listening to kiss the girl (ashley tisdale version) and its cute and made me think of dan heng. and idk if this follows canon story or not bc im not at xianzhou yet lolz.
also ik the title says 'kiss the girl' but that's only bc i was listening to the song. reader is gender neutral.
tags ⎯ friends to lovers. pining i think. hurt and comfort (at the end). flustered dan heng. fluff i think.
THE FIRST TIME dan heng thinks about kissing you, he immediately pushes away the thought. it was out of character; it was outrageous for him to think of a friend that way. it made him feel perverted for even thinking of the action.
it was a sunny day. you two (plus march and stelle) were in belobog at the time and you guys were witnessing bronya's speech. all of you agreed the speech was marvelous, and you all felt a sense of pride for bronya.
your eyes were sparkling in the sun as you watched bronya speak, and dan heng couldn't help but become enamoured by your face. he looked away from his paper to peek at your awed expression.
at that moment, dan heng thought you were the most beautiful person he's ever seen. but he can't think that. he cannot. not only were you a fellow trailblazer, but you were also his friend. he couldn't risk one of his greatest friendships over something as minimal as this.
so, he pushed the thought out of his brain. he thought that it would be gone forever, but he was deeply wrong.
THE SECOND TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you occured while you two were gazing in the astral express. by this time, you two have left belobog, and are awaiting your next journey.
you chose to pass the time by 'star-watching,' a new term you created as a substitute to cloud watching. the activity is similar to cloud watching as you point out shapes that make beings.
dan heng told you that you were just pointing out constellations, you said that you wanted to pass on the technicalities.
so now, you two were star-watching. you kept pointing out absurd patterns, such as, "this one looks like svarog," (it did not) and, "this one looks like balls." of course, none of the constellations looked like either of the comparisons (dan heng was thinking about taking you to the eye doctor), but dan heng played along anyway. anything to make you smile.
at one point, the absurdities stopped, and you began pointing out real constellations. so many beautiful creations in the sky, yet the real beautiful thing was right next to him, continuously pointing out constellations.
you rested your head on your hand, mindlessly gazing out at the empty field of stars in front of you, "it's beautiful."
"yeah," dan heng mindlessly replies, not even realizing what he's just said, "it is," he finally says, looking at you.
maybe it's the light from the stars hitting your face, or maybe it was just your radiant beauty, but the urge to kiss you came up once again. subconsciously, dan heng knew the feeling would arise sooner or later. but that didn't mean he liked the feeling.
he wants to preserve your friendship so bad; but sometimes, the line drawn alongside friendship and love begins to thin. sometimes, the line gets so thin that dan heng fears that he'll trip and fall into you.
THE THIRD TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was when you two were hanging out in his room. over the span of months, dan heng has learned to appreciate your being, and sometimes (he will never admit this) he feels calmer around you.
usually, dan heng didn't let other people be in his room, but it was different with you. for some reason, he liked it when you were in his room. sometimes, he finds himself wanting you to be in his room.
he was quietly sorting through his data bank while you were reading. it was such a calm and quiet moment; dan heng felt peace for once. there was music playing softly in the back, the room was silent, and the air was just right. it felt nice.
dan heng was too tuned into his data bank that he didn't hear footsteps coming up closer to him. it was only when he turned his head to check on you, that dan heng noticed you were right next to him.
you were right next to him, head nearly leaning on his shoulder, and you were so close to him. dan heng's heart was about to beat out of his chest, and he began to worry about the warmth that was rapidly spreading to his neck.
when you noticed dan heng's reaction, you thought you'd surprised him. you moved a little bit back, "sorry, did i scare you?"
"no, not at all. i was just a little startled," dan heng replied while rubbing the back of his (reddening) neck.
"that's like, the same thing as scared," you gave a low chuckle and moved closer to him once again, "you would know this."
"dunno," dan heng paused, "maybe i was too frightened to remember." when you laughed at that, dan heng swore he blushed all the way up to his ears.
"you are not funny," you gave him a slight shove that didn't really affect him. you leaned closer into the database, "what are you doing?"
you didn't realize how close you were to dan heng, your faces nearly touching. you were scrolling around his data bank while dan heng was trying to hide his rampant blush from your eyes.
dan heng stared at you while you browsed, taking in your close presence. you didn't seem nearly as tense as he did. you were relaxed, comfortable, you leaned into him. dan heng found himself staring longer than normal.
then, the thought, came in. the same recurring thought he'd been having for a long time: the thought to kiss you. he wanted to take you by the hands and pull you closer to him. he wanted to feel your palms and he wanted to feel you closer to him.
and this is the moment were dan heng realizes that he wants to be more than friends. dan heng realizes that he likes you; he wants you to be with him, he wants to feel you by his side. he wants endless star-watching nights; he wants to see you constantly.
and that is dangerous. not only would that ruin your friendship, but it would also endanger you. there's so much that would put you at risk.
"you should go back to your room," dan heng puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, causing you to look back up at him. your confused expression almost shatters dan heng's resilience, but he goes on, "it's late. go get some rest."
you keep the hand on your shoulder, "you too. don't stay up too late, okay?" the soft tone of your voice makes dan heng melt, and he almost wants to pull you back and ask you to stay. almost.
dan heng nods and you leave. he leans back on his desk and puts his head in his hands. what is he going to do?
THE FOURTH TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was the night you arrived in the xianzhou. you (and march and stelle) were exploring the city and it's wonders while dan heng was treading carefully behind you.
you haven't had a full conversation with dan heng for days. you assume it was probably because you were snooping around his data bank, but he has never minded that before. you haven't got an actual chance to apologize either, because for some reason, dan heng is now constantly busy.
the four of you decided that you would split up to look around. march immediately went to stelle, so that left you with dan heng.
dan heng knew this would happen. he couldn't avoid you for too long anyway, even if he tried. he would always end up gravitating back towards you.
it pained him to not talk to you. he missed your voice, your jokes, your little touches. he missed your book talks, he missed the way you'd always be in his room, he even missed your nosiness.
you and dan heng were aimlessly strolling around the streets until you found a lively street parlor. they were selling food, and the aroma was absolutely divine. dan heng knew you immediately caught your mind on something when he saw your beaming face.
you still haven't found a correct time to apologize to dan heng, but that can wait for later. you just wanted to talk to him. "dan heng! we should try some," you beamed.
"okay. i'll wait over here," dan heng monotonously replied. your smile slightly faltered, dan heng thought the sight to be excruciating.
he couldn't still be mad at you, right? you had to apologize soon, because this silent is agonizing. you couldn't help the fact that you missed dan heng. you missed late nights and his warm touch. you missed his sarcasm and his gentle nature.
when you returned, you brought back one giant kebab that dan heng knew you couldn't finish. you'd probably have enough to share with the entire express.
when you took a bite of the kebab, you moaned with delight, and dan heng forgot how much he missed your smile. it all came rushing back to him, all the things he missed about you. you are right here, in his grasp, yet he still cannot have you.
after your first bite, you offered a second bite to dan heng. etiquette was all out of the picture when you were there.
originally, dan heng wasn't planning to eat. there were lots of problems at hand, and dan heng could not relax now. but you were an obstacle in his equation. how could he refuse you when you were practically bouncing on your toes, smiling, and looking at him with such mirthful eyes. saying no to you was like refusing a blessing from the aeons.
he took a bite out of the kebab, to which he nodded in delight. dan heng finished chewing with a delighted expression on his face, and your smile appeared once again. dan heng felt his lips creep up, and sooner or later, he was smiling as well.
he looked down at your happy expression, and he noticed that you had food on the corner of your mouth. dan heng usually scolded you for being slightly messy, but in this tender moment, there was no need.
dan hen grabbed a napkin from a nearby table and wiped the corner off your mouth off. he wiped the food off so tenderly that you would think he was tending to something delicate and fragile. and the gaze he gave you after. you nearly passed out. dan heng looked at you with such fondness and love that you gripped the kebab harder.
his mind hadn't registered what he just did before you quietly said, "thank you."
dan heng nearly malfunctioned. what he just did was criminal. it was a simple thing, however it was most criminal to dan heng. during that moment, all he could think of was your lips on his. the tenderness of his touch was his mind projecting how he would cup your face when you two kissed. all of it felt so wrong, but so right.
"no problem," dan heng blushed and avoided your eyes. "do you... do you think we should meet back up with march and stelle?"
"yeah," you looked down at the ground, slightly flustered, "yeah. let's go."
things were awkward. but at least things were okay. and that was all that mattered to you.
MARCH 7TH HAD speculations. you and dan heng were like a pair. you two were a dynamic duo, second to march and stelle, of course. you would always be seen with each other. when march "accidentally" stumbles into dan heng's room, you'd be somewhere in there as well.
so, why is it that whenever march barges into dan heng's room, you aren't there? why are you not with him? why is he "constantly busy" when he there is nothing to store in the data bank? something was up, and march was determined to find out what was happening.
"don't you think it's weird that we never see dan heng and yn together anymore?" march asked stelle while sipping on juice.
stelle huffed, "i mean, it's a little weird. but maybe they're both exhausted. we just got out of belobog and now we're facing more conflict in another world."
"yeah, but," march paused for dramatic effect, "i saw them together in dan heng's room a few days ago."
stelle furrowed her eyebrows, "are you stalking them or something?"
"what?!" march exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat. the scene caused stelle to laugh, "no. of course not, i can't believe you accused me of that!"
"so... you don't think it's weird that we never see them together anymore?" march continued.
"okay. i'll answer. it's a little weird. but whatever it is i'm sure they have a reasonable explanation for it," stelle said. "why are you asking about them anyway?"
"because," march drew out the syllables, "they're cute. i've been shipping them. and plus, dan heng hasn't really been acting like himself recently."
"yeah, but what are we gonna do about it? he hasn't really opened up to us about his problems... like... ever..." stelle trailed off, as if she tried to remember how many times dan heng has ever spoken about himself.
"don't worry stelle," march grinned, "i have a plan."
"i can't believe we fell for this," you grimaced in the closet you were stuck in.
march and stelle split up and told both of you that there was a group meeting in march's room. obviously, because the both of you thought there was something urgent, you rushed in there. you were prepared, only to be ambushed and pushed in a closet by march and stelle as a ploy to "make up."
alas, you knew you needed to talk things out sooner or later.
dan heng, on the other hand, was freaking out. you're close. you're so close that he can feel every time you exhale out of your nose. this closet had no space, so you were practically pressed up on dan heng.
the one thing he couldn't see though, was your face. dan heng wanted to see your face. he wanted to study you up close: he wanted to your skin with his hands, wanted to pull you closer so he can observe the way your mouth lifts when you smile. he wants so much, but he can have none of it.
"i think i can break us out," dan heng offered.
"do you think they're guarding the doors?" you chuckled. dan heng gave a small smile after hearing your laugh. it's ironic that you're laughing in this situation while dan heng's heart is about to burst.
"i think the both of us can take them," dan heng answered.
this is the most you two have ever spoken to each other in days. you missed his voice and you missed being so close to him. unconsciously, you leaned closer to dan heng. you would know his warmth from anywhere.
as you two try to find a good point to hit, your hands brush against dan heng's. the way his hand feels on top of yours just feels right. the way his touch is still so gentle; oh how badly you missed his touch against yours.
"i'm sorry!" dan heng quickly removed his hands from yours. he moved away from you as well. you wanted so badly to chase him: you wanted to come closer, to place your hands with his one more time.
but you didn't. you doubted the fact that dan heng wanted to be near you. with his recent actions, you were wondering if the two of you were still on good terms or not. you could mess everything up with one action; dan heng was the very last thing you wanted to lose.
when you two finally found a good breaking point, you both put all your body strength into prying the doors open. it took a few tries, but the doors finally opened. however, there were consequences. the closet fell down with the combined force of both your bodies shaking it.
before you two fell to the floor, dan heng grabbed your arm and pulled you underneath him in a quick motion. your heart raced against your chest; you were so close that you could feel dan heng's heartbeat as well. and to your surprise, his heart was beating just as fast as yours.
the closet fell on top of you, and dan heng shoved it off of the two of you in one motion. seeing him do that just made your heart beat faster, and you were sure that you were breathing faster as well.
dan heng looked down to check on you, but doing so brought him much closer to you. closer than he had ever been. if dan heng moved down a little bit more, he would be able to close the distance between your lips. the urge was tempting: he was on top of you, your faces were both so close to each other, and your breathing was rampant and quick.
"are you alright?" dan heng asked. his breath fanned your face and you stared right into his eyes.
"i should be asking you that," you breathlessly whispered. he was so close and you were about to burst.
"i'm alright," he leaned down closer, "don't worry about me."
you two were both in a daze when you found yourselves leaning closer to each other. dan heng cupped your face; he couldn't wait any longer. all resilience went out the window, because right here, right now, you were here. you were in front of him, looking as radiant as ever, and dan heng could close the distance right now.
his hands treaded carefully across your face, as if you were one-of-a-kind. finally, his hands rested against your cheeks, and he leaned closer. dan heng was so close to kissing you before a commotion entered the room.
"OH MY GOD!" march exclaimed before running out of the room.
you startled, and accidentally pushed dan heng off of you. you frantically apologized while dan heng brushed himself off and helped you up. you were shaking at what almost just happened. you almost kissed your best friend.
the distance between you and dan heng was wide. he made sure to stand exactly five feet away from you. his hands were crossed and he refused to look at you. dan heng was worried that if he got even the slightest glance at you, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from what would happen next.
you both quickly left the room with racing hearts, confused thoughts, and a realization that whatever just happened was a mistake.
WHENEVER DAN HENG NEEDS SOMEONE to help him with his wounds, you are always that person.
at first, it was for team bonding. before stelle came, you all would take turns patching wounds to build team trust. however, with dan heng, the only person that he'd let patch up his wounds was you. you used to tease him and tell him that he was like a dog in that way, but he always brushed it off.
you were always gentle with him; carefully touching up on cuts and bruises with bandages or rubbing alcohol. by no means were you any doctor, but you were tender and calm.
dan heng was wounded again. there was no reason for him to be wounded. the fight was tame; the enemies weren't extremely powerful or anything. but for some reason, dan heng surpassed the rest of the team with more cuts.
now, you two were in a small room together. luckily, it's more spacious than the closet, but it wasn't as big as dan heng's room. you and dan heng were both sitting on a table; you sitting criss-cross-applesauce while dan heng was sitting properly.
the both of you haven't talked ever since the closet incident. instead, you two have been sharing gazes, brushing past each other in halls, and staying five feet away from each other.
this was the closest you have been in a while.
you are focused on banadaging dan heng's cuts. your eyes are glued to his arms and torso; you refused to look up at dan heng. you couldn't look at him for two reasons: you were slightly mad at him for obtaining so many injuries and you still couldn't look him in the eye after the past situation.
dan heng sat in silence as you tended to him. he knew you were mad at him, and he felt awful. dan heng knew that he didn't need to sustain as many injuries has he had. the only reason why he had so many injuries was that he was trying to distract himself from his feelings. the closet situation had him questioning himself. given the chance, would he hold himself back or would he let his urges win?
"i'm done," you let go of his arms and started putting bandages away. dan heng didn't know you'd be done so quickly. he wanted to bask in your grace for a little longer. dan heng thought about pulling a stitch in order to get you to stay longer, but that just seemed weird.
dan heng knew he couldn't let you leave like this. there was too many unspoken words between you two; most of them, partially his.
during this, dan heng realized something. he realized that, even though you are still mad at him, you stayed with him. you didn't ask for march or stelle to help him, but you did it yourself. dan heng could be reading too much into it, but dan heng is tired. he's tired of longing for you.
and maybe, just maybe, if you'll stay when it gets difficult (like right now), maybe you'll stay when it gets hard as well.
dan heng decides to leave all resilience behind. for once, he doesn't calculate the consequences nor does he hold himself back.
you're about to slide off the table until dan heng pleads, "wait." he grabs your arm and holds you there with a gentle grip. you could slip out of it if you wanted to, but this may be the first actual conversation the two of you will have in a while.
dan heng takes your silence as an answer. "thank you," he says. he curses at himself at the simple response. it was anti-climatic. "i appreciate you," he adds on.
the compliment made you blush, even though it was very simplistic. you avoid looking at him and rather focus on tapping your fingers on the table. "no problem. it was nothing anyway."
you two remain silent for a few moments; you didn't want to leave in fear that this may be one of your few conversations. dan heng was trying to find the right words to say.
"i really do appreciate you. for being here. for always being here," he continues. dan heng realizes he sounds redundant, and he wants to slap his palm across his face. with you, he couldn't find the right words to convey his actions. saying, "i'm sorry," wasn't enough and saying, "i miss you," was too little.
"i told you. it's nothing. i'd do the same for everyone else," and you wanted to chide yourself for saying the last sentence. not true, because the only person who'd you really do all of this for was only dan heng.
"i think this is the longest conversation we've had in a while," you murmur to yourself.
"i know," dan heng replies. you jump back on the table, almost falling off. if it wasn't for dan heng catching you (yet again), you would've fell off. his touch sends electricity through your veins; his touch brings warmth to your body.
"hey! you need to watch your stitches," you automatically scolded him. your nagging was a normal occurrence, but this time, it felt rare. dan heng hasn't heard you nag at him for years (days), and he feels as though he can breath normally now.
"sorry," he pulls back. you're left shuffling closer to dan heng, not that you notice, due to your almost fall. you two were facing each other now; the distance was a lot closer than before.
you let out a small laugh at the situation. practically falling of a table was not a laughing matter, but you always found joy in those situations. sometimes, dan heng thought it was a bit strange, but he always valued your optimism.
"i'm sorry dan heng," you look back down on the table, "i didn't know going through your data bank would make you ignore me for days," you let out dry chuckle.
dan heng furrows his eyebrows in shock, "don't apologize. i don't mind you looking through the data bank."
you looked up after his reply, expression shadowed with confusion, "wait? really? so... why the radio silence? did i have something to do with it?"
"no! no, it wasn't you," dan heng quickly reassured. "it was me. i was the problem."
"don't have to tell me that," you smiled and bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.
"i'm gonna let that slide," dan heng smirked. it was nice, the way you two fell back into your normal routines once again. it was like all the tension that was previously there, simply dissipated.
"i missed you," you crossed your legs on the table, moving back to the criss-cross applesauce position.
"me too," dan heng replied. "i missed you a lot." he looked straight into your eyes.
you flustered underneath his gaze, "i probably missed you more. sometimes i dunno if i can survive without you," you joked. it was a joke, but occasionally, you find it to be true.
"for me, it's the other way around," dan heng mumbled beneath his breath. "i really missed you. and our late nights. and star-watching."
"you missed star-watching?" you astonishly asked. dan heng wished he could take a picture of your grin when he told you that he missed star-watching.
"i missed a lot of things," dan heng paused, "but i missed you the most."
"i'm sorry for pushing you away yn. i was just⎯ scared," time to rip off the band-aid, "when i'm around you, i just get so messed up. you're the only thing on my mind sometimes. everything about you just makes me⎯ breathless? speechless? you amaze me to the point where i can't even think of a word to describe you."
dan heng pauses and his heart is racing. you're looking at him as if you want him to continue, as if you want him to finally say what he wants. dan heng doesn't know that you want it too.
"yn," dan heng looks straight at you, "i have feelings for you. feelings that i think will overwhelm me at one point if i keep it all together. i never stop thinking about you, longing for you. i want you and i think i really want to kiss you," dan heng finishes. he fumbled on his words back there, because he doesn't think he wants to kiss you, he wants to.
"dan heng..." your face is hot. your body is hot. your breathing is fast-paced and you feel like you are about to be on fire. adrenaline rushes through your veins and you are sure you are not thinking straight.
you pull him in for a kiss, tugging him closer by his chin and kissing him passionately. you take that fire from your body and you pour it all into this kiss. dan heng is surprised at first, but then reciprocates your actions. while your hand is on his face, his hands slide to your hips, tugging you closer and holding you tighter.
you two kiss until you have to stop for air. when you breathe, the whole world feels like it's on fire as well.
"i feel the same. i can't stop thinking about you," you lean in for another kiss, "i miss you," another kiss, "i missed being with you," another, "i missed being close to you," another, this time a little longer, "but i really hope i don't miss this."
"don't worry," dan heng pauses, "you won't. i promise."
and after all of that, dan heng finally got to kiss you.
#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#this was a monster to write#i got this finished in one day#dan heng x you#dan heng x reader#dan heng#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x you#dan heng imagines#the way it just gets progressively longer#im gonna need 3-5 business days to recover#PROMOTING MY STELLE MARCH / STARCH AGENDA!!! STARCH STARCH STARCH#can you tell it got worse at the end
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i don't really have any ship opinions on tadc except that probably no one should be x jax. no one deserves that kind of torture
#words from the monarch#/jokey ofc but every time i see ship art of Anyone with jax i go 'girl it is not your responsibility to fix him. you cannot fix him'#especially seeing gooseworx say hes actually going to get Worse as the series progresses. girl dump him ! HSSJDHDHDHSH#wary to tag this#im not trying to start anything im just being silly#the amazing digital circus
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excuses
#thing ill. never finish#mostly cuz looking at yasopp makes me so angry lol i literally could not stand rendering him i had to leave the whole thing unfinished#maybe thats a little not normal but UGHHH#usopps my fave of all time so idk yasopp just evokes this visceral hatred thats just never gonna leave my heart#hes irredeemable to me sorry#whats worse is that usopp idolizes him so much but i GET it yk. i understand why AND IT HURTS ME EVEN MORE!!!!! so fucking tragic#that this excuse of a father is what he'll have to face in the future. im so sick. USOPP IT'S NOT WORTH IT#op#one piece#art#my art#mintart#usopp#god usopp#yasopp#ig this is technically a wip but it's not rly in progress anymore it's just unfinished#twt liked it tho so im posting it here too bhfkdsj
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I actually find it really bizarre and counter intuitive that clinically speaking, you cannot legally be diagnosed with a personality disorder until you're at least 18. The reason given for this is because "the personality has not fully developed before this age" like ???
Ah yes, my favorite strategy. Not diagnosing the problem until it's already been virtually cemented into your brain for life! Wouldn't it be easier (and more painless) to address the problem before it's fully developed?
#im also certain that the age that personality fully forms at is not a universally agreed upon number#like idk. maybe this raises less questions about age and more about the potential consequences of pathologizing personalities#it feels a little fucked up to me that some mental illness are 'just' mental illnesses while others are deemed a thing synonymous with you#and i can understand if some people with personality disorders do really heavily identify with their disorders#thats fine!#i also think the average person has a concept of personality which is relatively stagnant and thats just not realistic tbh#i mean if you think personality is stagnant then yours probably is so in rhat sense youre not wrong#but personality can absolutely change and i dont think it makes you a 'different person'#i think its a natural progression#anyways. got a little derailed but the point im trying to make is#lets find a way to give people with personality disorders a more realistic hope for recovery without invalidating them#and also lets maybe try to treat personality disorders preemptively so they don't get worse
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hellfire in s5, and how it's Really not looking good for the members
the hellfire club is, in my opinion, one of the most obvious set ups for s5 and i never see enough people acknowledge how blatant the show actually is with it. because it's a directly addressed ongoing issue that slowly worsens over time and directly threatens three main characters (Dustin, Lucas, and Mike), at Least
there's a clear structured progression of the threat getting worse, with a major part of the s4 Hawkins plot being only Jason and his team chasing Eddie down, and by the last episodes of the show the rest of the town sides with them and joins the objective. however, we never get any consequence of the town agreeing with Jason, aside form the kids parents getting reaction shots looking insanely worried. the only thing even resembling partisan participation is a dogwalker (the same man that agreed with Jason first and then caused every other member in the town hall to also agree) informing Jason and co about there being someone in the Creel house. a single character ratting someone out is not pay off for a scene that rallies the entire town with anger and fear. especially because he was the First one to agree with Jason, arguably the next reaction, in parallel to the town house scene, will have everyone else also involve themselves
and everything Jason actually said in the town hall looks INFINITELY worse by the end of the season because he not only died the same day (how odd that must look), the town was also hit by a severe earthquake. (and hell-gates open in town but we don't know how people will react to that yet, or if it will even be immediately obvious to them)
like. it's a Terrible look. and with Eddie being dead now, the main target that represented the hellfire club in s4 and got the primary share of blame is now officially un-prosecutable
s4 also goes out of it's way to associate Lucas, Dustin and Mike explicitly with the hunt on Hellfire, ages before the whole town gets involved
Lucas is put on edge by the basketball's team hostility towards his friends constantly and has to actively lie his way out of the line of fire multiple times. the basketball team is also looking for Dustin to question him about Eddie's whereabouts, even going to his house where a confrontation only doesn't happen because he's not home. and they even manage to go out of their way to drag Mike into it despite him being out of town, when Jason starts a conversation with Nancy specifically to threaten her and then asks about Mike right after
which leads to the other thing; not only are all the kids already on Jason's radar, he's also getting more and more direct with the fact that he doesn't just want to have a nice chat with them (culminating in actually physically attacking Lucas by the last episode)
and if them setting all of the kid members of hellfire up for a bad time wasn't obvious enough, it's also fascinating to see the posters of hellfire we get over the season also show a clear shift in focus
when we see the hellfire club year book photo for the first time the focus is on Eddie. he's who Jason sees as the main culprit and when we get a close up of the burning poster we see Eddie
but when we see the hellfire club photo again 4 episodes later the focus isn't on Eddie anymore. not in dialogue and not visually
the shot is from the Wheeler's pov (Karen's specifically), and the only part of the picture that's in focus is the far right corner, with Mike and Lucas. (makes sense that's her son that's currently being implicated in satanic murders). Eddie never gets unblurred, he's not who the audience is supposed to look at in this shot. verbally Jason is also explicitly blaming the whole club now. it's not just Eddie who's "crazy" and killed Chrissy, it's the whole club who's responsible (it's also very notable that he's handing out yearbook photos of the whole club, not just Eddie. a really distinct prop choice. everyone in town now not only thinks hellfire is directly responsible for multiple ritualistic murders, they also know Exactly who's in the club)
and looking back at the season in hindsight, there's actually more than enough instances that would make the members of Hellfire look kind of guilty, or shady at best, even if someone were to do some research. there's multiple instances of hellfire members lying to the basketball team about hellfire member's whereabouts which definitely doesn't make them look more innocent in the team's eyes. not only do Eddie's band members try to brush them off, Nancy pretends to not even know about Hellfire when Jason asks about Mike, and Lucas goes out of his way to keep Dustin and Eddie's locations from them by deliberately lying and sending them to wrong locations
and that's on top of the entire montage of Dustin and Mike trying to find a substitute player for a single game on the same day a student with no previous affiliation to Eddie Munson dies at his trailer? that looks Horrible in hindsight. especially with them asking pretty much every other student, from almost every club, while both prominently wearing hellfire shirts. if anyone actually remembers them and thinks about the events post Chrissy's death they could definitely make some assumptions
it's just bad looks all around. and that's not even mentioning how they have the potential to look even worse in s5. if it got out Lucas was with Max when she somehow died and broke all her bones? would look horrible. or Dustin now associating with Eddie's dad? and we don't even know how he'll fulfill Eddie's wish to "look after the little sheep"
and even Mike, who didn't even have the chance to attract suspicion post e1 due to being out of town has a whole thing going on with his image paralleling Eddie, with being the other DM and having his s4 style be directly in reference to Eddie's looks
while there's building hostility towards the hellfire members, and the focus (both visually and vocally) switches more to the members Other than Eddie, by the end of the season there just hasn't been a chance for the townsfolk to respond to Jason's speech yet. they all agreed with him, but everything immediately went to shit the same night. however, even the last few minutes of the show, that always have the most direct foreshadowing for the next season, include a shot focusing on the rise of religion and the fearmongering that started with Jason's speech
which serves as a great reminder that the entire town hall just agreed with Hellfire being a satanist cult they need to stop
s4 ends with the hellfire set up being one of the most explicitly obvious plot threads that are about to be a problem for multiple main characters in s5. like the few other obvious established about-to-be struggles: the gates opening, Vecna still being alive, Max being "gone"; we've gotten a full set up there but no payoff yet
and then there's obviously the question of what the people would even DO in s5? they all agreed that Hellfire needed to be stopped, so... what now?
on one hand there's the interesting concept of the town refusing to help the protagonists but they could also be acting as a hostile force against them
say anyone tried to warn the town about the upside down or it's creatures, the chances of people listening to them talk about actual "demons" and reacting in any positive way is probably near 0. even if you saw a Demogorgon nibble on your neighbour an hour ealier, would you really listen to someone you think intentionally opened the Hellgate that let the creatures through in the first place?
but then there's of course the active antagonistic angle they could also take. Jason was calling for Hellfire to be actively opposed and stopped, not passively. and the show Does go out of it's way to show the overcrowded weapons store in multiple shots post Jason-speech
we're supposed to know these people are armed going forward. whether they're buying them to go hunting, or wanting to go shoot Eddie Munson, the weapons are there now... also ignore the 7 separate hellfire wanted posters in the opening shot of the store alone 💀(it's actually 9, i didn't circle the two that are cut off in the bottom corner. that whole board is just plastered with that one photo)
(the implication of what the guns are for couldn't be more obvious if they tried. again, also the scene where Jason tries to intimidate Nancy and directly asks about where Mike is. also the scene where Erica and co try to hide from the basketball team members in the store. the scene features, guns, hellfire posters everywhere, and characters specifically asking about the whereabouts of a member while other people are actively hiding)
and the weapons could play out in a positive way in s5 too, say the lady from next door gets hands on involved and takes shots at the Demobats in her front yard
but the reactionary, scared, and angry town that blames a specific small group of people for everything that's happening could also lead to MCs having to actively worry about getting shot by someone they've seen at the supermarket for 10+ years on top of the supernatural threat
TLDR: re Hellfire, none of these members will have a good time in s5
Edit (because i forgot to include these images and am silly)
Hellfire even makes it on the local news by the end of the season
and in line with the focus shifting from Eddie to the other hellfire members, the news anchor then goes to say that Eddie Munson is presumed dead after the earthquake but that that isn't enough for the town. the news even mentions the conspiracy theory that the hellfire murders CAUSED the earthquake. so anyone who hasn't heard Jason's speech, now they're getting it from a "reputable" source too. call that high quality journalism, let's throw the local highschoolers under the bus
we're supposed to remember the fear of the "satanic cult killing children" that Jason spread to the town. it's still there. and it's not just in the local town hall anymore, its being broadcast on live television. so just in case you didn't catch wind of who caused a "gate to hell" to open in your suburban neighbourhood the first time, the news anchor thankfully tells you who everybody Says is responsible, it's the 14-18 year old satanist serial killers duh
#the hellfire set up for s5 being so obvious gets me okay#i'm excited about it#watching s4 you can really just see how it progressively looks worse for the members#i'm just curious which route they'll actually go with it#mike wheeler#dustin henderson#lucas sinclair#st s5#st s5 speculation#stranger things
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Something really great about the persona 2 cast is that they all individually fucking SUCK to talk to casually. Every single one of them. They are all infuriating. We have:
Tatsuya, who will stare at you blankly if you try to initiate conversation (IS) and will dip without saying a word afterward (EP)
Batsuya, who will scoff and brush you off/otherwise act dismissive
Eikichi, who might honestly be the best to talk to in the IS crew and that is not saying much, who WILL talk extremely loudly over you (probably not on purpose?) and will not be paying particularly close attention to the conversation beyond whatever he wants to say (gets points for talking about his gf. gets points taken away for constantly talking about his gf)
Lisa, who will automatically assume bad faith and will be rude to you the entire conversation unless you manage to defuse her temper (good luck)
Jun, who is uncommunicative at BEST and requires an encyclopedic knowledge of flowers, metaphor and body language just to get a HINT on what he’s thinking, and who will be extremely polite but completely unhelpful. If you tried asking him what he wants for dinner I guarantee it will be the longest 30 minutes of your life as he goes “oh I have no opinion :) whatever you want. :))” EXCEPT HE DOES HAVE OPINIONS. He has SO MANY OPINIONS. He is Expecting you to be able to pick up on his “obvious” clues. He will be passive aggressive if you don’t. (Jun babygirl you suck so bad I love u)
Maya, who is a delight but will very quickly become grating if you try to talk to her about anything serious as she hits you with the white suburban mom's "how to live a happy, healthy life" lifecoach slogans. You can’t even mention, like, stepping in a puddle or something without her hitting you with the positivity beam.
Yukino is great actually. 10/10. She’s fabulous we love her. Incredible conversationalist, chill and fun and easy to get along with. But she’s from Persona One, she doesn’t Count.
Ulala, who WILL bring up her relationship problems in every conversation within 10 minutes at least once. Any longer and she will start talking about Maya.
Do I even need to explain Baofu. Have you seen him.
And finally, Katsuya, who is a cop and a kiss ass and Very Obvious about these things. Also he can't talk to women. He can barely talk to men. Help Him.
And yet they all work wonderfully as a group. They are so annoying I love them
#long post#Nanjo and Elly don't count btw#hi I fucking adore them#I missed them <3 Suou Brothers crawling back into my brain#Persona 3-5 have a very charming casts that are easy to like immediately. Persona 1 & 2 are filled with the most annoying bitches alive#exaggeration obviously. not by that much tho#persona 2s cast in particular is very charming. when they're TOGETHER. Individually? Wellllll...#hmm something about p2s cast in particular feels less. gimmicky? I guess? than the newer persona games#which isn't to say that those casts are worse or that the p2 cast ISN'T gimmicky because they are#but idk. you kind of always know how Ryuji or Ken or Yukiko will react to a situation. but the p2 cast may surprise you#again: doesn't make any of the later casts bad! I absolutely adore them. That you can predict them is evidence of strong character writing!#The p2 cast just feels a little more fleshed out is all. probably because the lack of social links means they're able to progress#throughout the story and change without worrying about conflicting with a link yanno?#I love social links though I think they're a great edition!#They need their kinks ironed out a bit but Yosuke has already proved that they are absolutely capable of working hand in hand with the#development of characters in the story as well#and theyre still fun even when they don't impact the story. I like getting to know side#characters too! (Naoki and Ei and Ai and Daisuke and Kou and the old lady and Akinari and-)#tag ramble#persona 2#tatsuya suou#eikichi mishina#lisa silverman#jun kurosu#maya amano#yukino mayuzumi#ulala serizawa#baofu#katsuya suou#Also um. hi. Its been a while lol
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Guys, really, stop shitting on the ending because of Nat's death. YES, it was was narratively unsatisfying. YES, she was just beginning to heal and build a life again and THAT IS THE ENTIRE POINT. It's supposed to be a fucking tragedy. It's supposed to make you cry with the injustice of it.
#i mean#have none of you noticed this show is about things getting progressively worse '-'#NOT about how it gets better#i just love those kinds of shows that don't pull their punches#like YES!#go! make me cry and think about this forever!#yellowjackets#natalie scatorccio#misty quigley#lottie matthews#yellowjackets 2x09
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toxic kaisagi yuri my beloved
#this is how im celebrating pride month btw#just yuri#blue lock#bllk#bllk fanart#michael kaiser#isagi yoichi#fanart#my art#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#drawing#bllk manga#blue lock manga#blue lock fanart#ok but why am I genuinely so happy with how this turned out like#normally I like the sketches of my art and after that it gets progressively worse until it’s eh good enough#but I did this in three days 20 hours total that’s fucking 7 hours a day#and it’s easily my fav I’ve done this year#yuri is just better maybe I’m motivated by the lesbianism in me
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I'm sick of reboots, I'm tired of spinoffs, I don't care for remakes... For the love of God, just make new stuff!!
#I don't care how much i love a show or movie#STOP MAKING IT AGAIN#idc if it's problematic now or if the new cast is good and diverse#MAKE. NEW. STUFF#the problem used to be that they would milk a show for all it's money and it would have 20 seasons#and they would get progressively worse until the show because absolute garbage#then for one beautiful moment we had a couple of shows that ended when the story ended and didn't drag on#and now we're in the opposite hell#new shows get cancelled before they get their chance#and so many shows get reboots and spinoffs that are also shit#just because production companies get to sell them to an already built fandom#and i HATE IT#because they're not good#angel talks#personal
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i saw you mentioned that killua has an addictive personality. would u write more on that topic? i agree with you but i dont know how to articulate it for myself hah
I could point to the obvious thing, the chocrobos and sweets in general. Sugar is addictive in real life but like which all such substances some are more vulnerable to them than others. And Killua seems to have developed a chocolate habit.
But I think his tendency towards gambling is far more telling.
Killua loves rivalry, he loves competitions and he will try to gamify stuff he does with Gon. But at least in their competitions with each other Gon can work as a safety valve because he's also obsessive and self destructive and Killua's care for Gon would curb his risk addiction. That and the fact that with Gon they get into really life threatening situations and the self-preservation Killua's family forced into him, kicks in too.
But when the stakes are not life threatening, when it's money... Killua can't handle money. He loses all of their Heaven's Arena winnings on internet auctions. Then Bisky has to drag him away from the slot machines in Greed Island.
When there's no threat to his or Gon's safety, Killua has absolutely no breaks and because Gon leans on him for the planning and for knowledge about the world, considering Gon's much more sheltered childhood, Killua's on his own to control himself and he absolutely can't.
Maybe needing to provide for Alluka will also work as a decent safety valve for the gambling. Maybe he will be more careful with the money he needs for her.
But I don't think he sees that he has this problem. He's always been rich and capable to make quick and easy money. He's also capable of roughing it for a while, and Gon was too. But I doubt he'd want to put Alluka in that situation. Maybe being with her will make him realise he needs to work on this.
#hxh#hunter x hunter#killua zoldyck#answering asks#thank you for the ask <3#i haven't been writing about hxh much recently#it's interesting to do#sorry it took me so long#i've been really having a horrible time for the last few months#and there seems to be no end in sight#it's kinda getting progressively worse and more depressing#i'll get to all the asks#my brain just barely works from stress most of the time and i can barely sleep which makes it much worse
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.... back on my totk rewrite thoughts so, poll time (pls read before voting o3o )
no matter how cute tulins design is, i like teba more and he had at least a little bit more to fall back on from botw than tulin did, given how little time is spent on these characters (and the time that is is just ... so flat, its all so tasteless, no flavor) hes just as much, or little really, as the champions descendants were in botw .. if even, though this game should have been the time to go hard on narrative, sicne the world was established now would have been the time to dig into the story more
im considering making teba the 'sage' (no sages in my rewrite but for understandings sake) and possibly with a .. 'backpack' tulin, they are a team and work as one (doing proper character arcs is hard to do in a game world like botw, given how isolated each area is and how little everyone interacts, id focus more on having some active troubles and dangers- team getting seperated etc. to make it feel like theres actual stakes instead of a flat one scene character 'arc' and then some baby puzzles that i hesitate to even call that)
(i still havent found a workaround for the abilities yet, botws way of doing it was very well integrated and made sense with the story, i dont want to repeat that but also dont want to have the shitty totk way, - killing a character off in the present to have them aid you in spirit is interesting only if not applied to everyone bc then it gets all too samey again, something something items in a way--- regardless of how im gonna solve that issue, i like the idea of them working together just like you are actively traveling with zelda as your companion and it will work whether i give them actual abilities or not)
#ganondoodles talks#ganondoodles rewrites totk#zelda#totk rewrite#botw 2#like i find the idea of them HAVING abilities but not being able to give them to you pretty good#bc then each dungeon and area can be more unique and memorable#i get not getting their ability would be a little sad but it might be worth it considering they are still alive and not dead like the champ#there would be a reward of course or soemthign like an item but that item shouldnt jsut be able to replicate their supposedly unique abilit#also it would help differentiate it more from botw bc its not just the same with again but worse (like totk did ...)#maybe with each dungeon you get something that helps purah improve links shiekah arm#so you might get a weaker version of the ability and then over time with doing more dungeons it will get stronger with each added#(this is stil just a work in progress ... the dungeon rewards are the one thing i have not yet had a clear idea for)#(everything else is largely done ... like the basic story and mechanics are all pretty solidly done by now ....... granted ..in my head)#like what if in the cataclysm .. or in the dungeon even tulin loses a wing and cant fly anymore#but hes more skilled with the bow than teba so they have to work together to be at their strongest#(i know i know- they fire arrows with their feet and that would be hard to do while on the back of another- WAS JUST AN IDEA)
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A very normal scientist doing very normal gene splicing experiments (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Wobbledogs#Sometimes media flooding bleeds over into other interests at the same time and yes that is my only justification for this lol#I'm always most amused by the sequence of things lol - I'd already started in on Handplates again but then got very diverted by Wobbledogs#Which is especially weird to me because I was introduced to the game like half a year ago and it didn't really grab me#It's cute but eh it's fine - and then I watched a proper lightly edited playlist not like jumpcut-jumpcut-jumpcut#That can make for a very punchy one-off but it doesn't really reflect the gameplay loop#So actually getting to see it properly made the difference and I kinda Get It now and also kinda want to own the game lol#MeanWhile - Ghoster's been hanging out as my desktop buddy literally /while/ watching and I was getting new ideas on that front#They smushed together lol#Having him onscreen is just a good excuse to do a quick once-over style of study and follow some silly ideas haha#What would Gaster think of a progressive mutation type game ♪ Watching them grow watching them struggle to walk#Only uses the scold feature - or the worse option that he treats the dogs better than the skelebros noooo haha#Pretty much all of the creatures in Undertale are sentient to some degree aren't they :0 Wobbledogs are just dogs#They're not monsters but they're not humans but they're not exactly just dogs either - just little creachurs haha#It's fun to imagine him nurturing anyone or anything haha ♪ Goes from ''???'' to ''How can I help this reach their full potential''#Whatever ''potential'' means in his own context hehe#It's cute in its own way
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Here we go again. Another week another progress report! (✿゚▽゚)ノ
Next Update (Chapter 4):
Opening: 100%
Avoid August/Confront Him: 100%
A Normal Day at Work: 100%
You Can Fix This, Right? 🤡: 40%
Keep Your Friends Close...: 0%
Avoidant Route: 0%
So good news with this section is that it's almost halfway done! Bad news is that the most time consuming part (the time loop) is the unfinished bit.
The variables alone are going to destroy me lmao. Ah well, tis the price one pays for writing a story with time shenanigans. At least it should be fun to play through and see all the different possibilities, right?
#redo; rewind if#interactive fiction#if game#progress report#also i swear i'll find a snippet to post next week!! this part's just so damn spoiler-ridden!!!#worse case y'all will get something so heavily redacted it becomes almost meaningless#but honestly. that might be fun in it's own way lol#it'll just be like mad libs or something. i guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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