#This is why I am a Jeff Main
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just bc im a lesbian doesnt mean tht i wont at times become deeply entranced with the beauty of male actor or character. it just means i wld rather be locked in a room with a man with a knife than do anything romantic or sexual with one
#NO OFFENCE TO MEN AS PEOPLE THAT EXIST. but also i shldnt have to say tht after saying this yk#also b4 u say ooh ur aro tho why do u need to specifcy u wldnt do anything romantic w a man when i wldnt with a woman either#i am actually pretty romance favorable. like i would be in a romantic relationship with a woman if it wldnt ruin my life#with how it is rn . i think i like and want all the parts tht make up a romantic relationship i just dont experince romantic attraction#but anyway i was here to talk abt my sexuality not my romantic orientation#this post was originally like 'im remembering why there was such a huge overlap with my og major starkid hyperfixation#and me identifing as bisexual' but the thing is is the main main guy from starkid i remember being attracted too#was infact . rob. and thats aged badly bc of it being revealed that hes a fucking creep since then#but also just now not that we should ignore tht but regardless of that i just. dont see it at all#maybe it is that news subconsiously turning me off him but i really dont see that much what i liked abt his appearance#but who rly inspired this post to me is infact . jeff blim ? which is suprising just from the fact tht i dont ever remember#having tht big of a crush on him with that og starkid hyperfixation. but well he is a very beautiful man . giggling a little bit. sorry .#also becoming a bit obsessed with joey richter but thts just standard lesbian obssesion with a weird little man#not attractive to me im just obssesed with him. hi#also posting this now so when i finally watch the fnaf movie i can rb it abt josh hutcherson#anyway. does anyone read these tags do these long rants i go on like. turn ppl off of my posts. sometimes i wonder#flappy rambles
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Having RSD in public spaces is the worst bc it's like I need permission to exist too noticeably. Even if everyone is super friendly if I'm even risking being boring or "too much" then I get so scared like oh god everyone's going to get so sick of me as if the worst crime I could ever commit is to be uninteresting
#vent#ask to tag#this isn't about anything in particular/a vague post dw I'm just putting it here bc it's fandom related#audits getting back into fandom spaces after the countless horrors adventures if u will#I'm like omg why am I so worried abt this stuff who would care#but then I remember as a teenager if I infodumped. in. infodump or topic specific channels. dedicated for doing that#my 'friend' would berate me for 'taking up too much space'#and ppl got mad at me for OC posting when they tried to drop hints that they didn't want to hear about my OCs (said hints being like.#not responding or just changing their tone slightly not anything clear) or in some cases just complained to the afore mentioned friend who#opted not to tell me when these complaints were being made but to blame me for not having done anything about what I wasn't told#this fandoms probably different since the majority of ppl I talk t o in it are neurodivergent and like. get it#but everyone is so cool that I talk to I'm like oh my god if I can't be exactly who/what they want to talk to at all times they're gonna#jeff the kill me like oh my god girl chill out#I'm not shy but someimes I wish ppl would coax me out of my shell a little so I didn't overthink it all/LH#I do think it's funny how much I feel the need to fit in with everyone/not be TOOO weird/irrelevant in the fandom whose source's main theme#is being an unapologetic weirdo as long as its harmless but haiodfhgiofdhgiodhfoighfidhgafdg
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Too Good
Eddie Munson x reader
Description: When drunk at a party, the only one Y/N wants right now is her ex-boyfriend, Eddie Munson.
Word count: 2.0k
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This is not how you planned for your night to go. Drunk at a party, you stumble your way through the crowd in search of Robin with another drink in your hand. You knew it was a mistake to drink this much, but these past few weeks have been hell and you just needed the distraction. Why have they been hell you may ask? Eddie Munson, your boyfriend of just over 7 months, dumped you. And why? You don’t even know. So when invited by Steve and Robin to go to a party, who would you be to deny?
Stumbling into the kitchen you lean onto a counter and continue to look around for Robin who has yet been nowhere to be seen. Then your drunken mind remembers you saw Robin staring down Vickie earlier, so you doubt you’d see her anytime soon. But at this point you’re so drunk and can’t even stand properly- swinging side to side as your drink splashes around in your red solo cup. You find a bar stool and sit down and start to stare off into the distance. Your mind starts to wander off to Eddie. Why did he break up with you? Did he even love you? But you came here to forget that, so no more wasting time thinking about him and possibly even missing him. You stood back up and walked back out to the main room to dance with some strangers.
---
God knows how long you’ve been dancing at this point. Your vision is blurry and your hearing is going in and out. ‘Yup, I’ve had way too much to drink.’ you think to yourself. You don’t feel good at all at this point. You attempt to stumble outside in search for some fresh air but there are just too many people here. As your body is being pushed side to side by the fellow people dancing, you feel a hand on a shoulder. You turn to see that that hand belongs to Gareth. “Holy shit, Y/N, are you okay? You look wrecked.” You mumble out some words in response that you yourself can’t even understand as you let him walk you over to a couch and set you down. “How much have you had to drink?” Looking up at him with drunken eyes, you manage to reply with, “Too much.” “No shit, I can tell.” At this point you’re scared, you can’t see or hear anything and it’s making you panic. You’re out of your right mind and you know it, especially when you mutter out the words, “Where’s Eddie?”. This somewhat shocks Gareth as he knows everything that went down between you two. “Eddie isn’t here Y/N. It’s just me and Jeff.” He says as he holds you up steady by your shoulders. “I want Eddie.” Gareth sighs as he says, “Okay stay here. I’ll call him.”
Under different circumstances Gareth would not be running to the house phone to call Eddie for you. Even though Eddie is his best friend, he is definitely on Y/N’s side of things. But Y/N is clearly out of her senses and surely the friends she came here with are as well, so what choice does he have? He dials Eddie’s number as fast as he can and waits for an answer. On the fourth ring, he hears a “Hello?”.
“Hey, man, it’s Gareth. I’m at that dumb house party me and Jeff went to and, uh, I need you to drive down here.”
“What for?”
“Y/N.”
As soon as Eddie hears that name his heart drops. As much as he hates to admit it, you’re still on his mind. The phone call falls silent for a moment as Eddie falls deep into thought. “Eddie? You still there? I’m serious, dude, she needs you here.” That’s all the words Eddie needs as he quickly puts on his leather jacket and says, “I’m on my way.”
The entire ride there Eddie’s heart is pounding. He hasn’t seen you since the breakup and you made sure of it. You avoided him at all cost and he won’t deny that that did hurt, but he knows it’s deserved. Sweaty hands grip his steering wheel as he pulls up to the party. He gets out and spots Jeff standing outside. “Finally, man, you’re here.” “Why exactly am I here?” “Did Gareth not tell you? Y/N is drunk off her mind. So drunk that she’s been asking for you.” This shocked Eddie to the core. You still thought about him? Enough to ask for him while drunk? He then nervously walks in with Jeff as he leads them to where Gareth and you are sitting.
Jeff and Eddie walk up to the couch where you and Gareth sit. He leans down in front of you and looks you in the eyes for the first time in weeks. “Hey, Y/N. You ready to go home?” Your drunken eyes meet his and you immediately melt. You hate to admit how much you’ve missed him. Seeing those eyes again is enough to make you fall in love all over again. You nod your head in response and let him help you off the couch. He walks you to his van and helps you into the passenger seat. Once he’s in his seat and starts pulling out, you mumble, “Don’t wanna go home.” He looks over at you with confusion and asks, “Well where do you wanna go sweetheart? It’s one in the morning, you’re drunk, and need to lay down.”
“Your place.”
His breath catches in his throat at your response and awkwardly responds, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Y/N.”
“Please, Eds. My mom will kill me.” Your drunk self whines, as you lazily look over at him. Though even while drunk, you notice the way his face reacted to the nickname.
With a deep sigh, “Fine, sweetheart.”
For you, the car ride to his place felt like a few minutes as you were dozed off half the time, but as for Eddie, it felt like an eternity. His eyes wouldn’t stop traveling over to you and how beautiful you looked even while this drunk. It reminded him of why he even dumped you in the first place. You’re too perfect for him. He thought you deserved better, not some third senior-trailer junkie who doesn’t have a real job besides selling drugs to high schoolers. You deserved the world and he just couldn’t give that to you.
Eventually he pulled into the trailer park and parks his car next to his trailer. The slam of his door wakes you up and you notice Eddie walking to the passenger to help you out. He opens the door and helps you stand onto your feet and leads you inside. You immediately plop onto the couch as Eddie takes off his jacket and hangs it onto the arm of the couch. “Let’s get you to bed.” He helps you stand up again and walks you to his bedroom where you go to lay down. He leaves his room to run to his bathroom real quick to grab the makeup remover from his cabinet that you left there months ago. He heads back into his room and sits next to you on the edge of his bed. “Just gonna take your makeup off, love.” Once it’s all off you start to attempt to wiggle yourself out of your black jean shorts. Eddie takes notice and even though you guys are no longer together, he knows how much you hate sleeping in jeans. So with a sigh he helps you undo them and slide them off. “Can I sleep in one of your shirts?” You ask with a pout as you look up at him from your spot on the bed. And how could Eddie ever say no to the girl he loves? “Of course.” He says as he sits up and grabs your favorite Black Sabbath t-shirt of his. You slip out of your shirt but struggle with your bra. Once again, he notices and offers to help. You accept and let him effortlessly unclip it and slide the straps down your arms and then continue to slip the t-shirt over your head.
You let your head hit his pillow and let him pull the blanket over your body. He starts to leave for the couch but you grab his wrist before he even gets the chance. “Stay.” Eddie looks down at you and just stands there for a good few seconds. “Please. I want you here with me.” And those six words were enough to convince him. He slides out of his own jeans and lays in bed beside you. You almost immediately cling to his side to cuddle him. He prays that you can’t hear how hard his heart is beating at the moment. Having you in his bed again felt so surreal. But he tries not to overthink it as he knows once you wake up and become sober you’re gonna realize the drunk mistake you made and immediately leave.
He’s close to falling asleep until he hears you mumble, “I missed you.” into his chest. He didn’t think his heart could beat any faster but here we are. “You’re drunk, Y/N. You don’t mean that. I hurt you.”
“Why did you hurt me? I didn’t do anything.” He can hear that Y/N is close to tears and lets out yet another sigh.
“We’re too different.”
At that, you start to sober up and sit up onto your elbow and look over at him. “What makes you think that?”
He as well sits up and replies, “You’re you, Y/N, and I’m me. You’re so smart and beautiful and I’m just some loser who got lucky and met you. Dumb luck. You’re too good for me. You deserve someone better. Someone who can give you the world.”
“But, Eddie, you are my world. I don’t want or need someone better when I have you in front of me. If I thought you were no good for me I wouldn’t have even started dating you in the first place. I love you for who you are. Sure you have your struggles, but I know one day you’re gonna make it through them. One day you’re gonna make it out of this trailer park. One day you’re gonna be one of the biggest rockstars the world has ever known. And one day you’ll finally have the life you deserve.”
Eddie falls quiet as he looks over at you with watery eyes. He never would’ve believed that someone would ever think that highly of him. His whole life he has been seen as less and even though he has grown to be used to it, there was still always a pit of insecurity hiding there. So hearing the words come from the person he is still in love with, even while they’re drunk, truly opens his mind. Maybe he is worth more than what he thinks he is.
You notice his watery eyes and immediately pull him into your chest to hug him. With his head buried into your chest you hear him whisper, “I missed you too.” At his words, you melt. You start to slowly stroke his hair as small tears roll down his face and onto you. “Wayne misses you too. He was pissed when I told him I dumped you.” You let out a small laugh at his words and kiss the top of his head. “I missed Wayne too, and his dumb movie choices.” Eddie let out a laugh as well as he snuggled deeper into you. “I truly am sorry, Y/N. I thought about you everyday and never once did I stop loving you.”
“Me too, Eddie. Me too.”
Eventually he falls asleep, with you still holding his larger frame. It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep as well.
—- As Wayne walks into the trailer after working his night shift, he slips off his shoes and places down his bag beside the couch. There he spots Eddie’s leather jacket hanging loosely on the arm of the couch. “Thought I told this boy to stop leaving his stuff around.���, he grumbles. He picks up the jacket and walks down to his nephew's room to hang it up. As he opens the door he stops in his tracks. He looks down at the bed to see Eddie and you. He hangs the jacket up and walks back out with a smile.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#stranger things#joeseph quinn
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till dawn || eyeless jack || bonus part
SMUT. MINORS DNI. 18+. tw: this is unfortunately very fluffy as well as smutty. if you came here for raw intense fucking wait until i release my new one shot with ej called huntin’ wabbitz. this is for the till dawn girlies ONLY. enjoy <3
“Why are we doing this again?”
Jeff’s voice was harsh, raising the question Ben had as well. The blonde stood in front of Jack, attempting to gracefully finish tying the demons bow tie. “Well Jeff in human culture weddings are a symbolic ceremony of love and unconditional commitment,” Ben explained, not glancing up at the pale killer. Somehow your request of a wedding had managed to get every creep dressed up, including Jacks friends.
Jeff went to run his fingers through his ash black hair, frowning once he realized it was in a man bun. “Yeah no I obviously have that part down pat. But I meant why are we doing this? We aren’t exactly humans anymore you know,” Jeff pointed out. Ben smiled as he finished adjusting Jacks bow tie. The sapphire blue suited him the best, according to Clockwork anyways.
“You are aware she’s a human right?” Ben asked. Jeff sighed, refraining himself from face palming. “As everyone has been talking about for the past twenty four hours, yes I am aware she’s a human,” Jeff answered. Ben went to defend you further, Jacks voice interrupting the blonde.
“We’re doing this because it’s what she wants.”
Believe it or not, Jack was apprehensive about the whole thing. It wasn’t the ceremony he feared or the social pressure to lift his mask to kiss your sweet lips. It was having you around so many creeps at once. The residents at Slender’s mansion had grown accustomed to your presence. You became just another resident, killer or not. Even the proxies had grown fond of you, initially pushing back on your stay due to your mortality. It may not have been a life they would’ve chosen for themselves, but you had proved time and time again your love for Jack prevailed all doubts.
It was also highly convenient to have someone able to grocery shop without a swat team being called.
You hadn’t outright come out and said you wanted marriage to Jack, but he was no fool. The magazines left out with pages of rings and dresses. Weddings were apart of your kinds culture and more importantly, they meant something to you. It wasn’t long after that Jack bribed Hoodie into helping him rob a jewelry store to get as many rings as they could carry. What else was he supposed to do? He didn’t know your ring size and he couldn’t possibly acquire the knowledge and be inconspicuous at the same time.
Word of your engagement spread like wildfire, the concept alone unheard of. Creeps from all over, including the Trenderman mansion, had been invited per your request. You had never met Laughing Jack, Jason the toy maker, Candypop, etc. Yet, you wanted all of them there for your special day. Jack thought it was touching once he put aside all of his fears about having that many immortal psychopaths around you. The main reason every creep turned up to your wedding was simple: you were human.
Outside of proxies, the supernatural haze that imbedded itself into creeps. It slowed down their aging, kept their bloodlust prevalent. Many of them didn’t even recall their human life. If they even had one to begin with. The idea alone that someone like you, could love someone endlessly like them was incomprehensible. This resulted in every creep on the planet to attend, that fact alone making Jack more nervous.
Slenderman had high expectations of his residents, ensuring that although unhinged they would maintain a stable and respectable behavior. Many of the creeps attending, including X-Virus and Nina the killer, were highly unpredictable. In the back of his mind he doubted that he would be able to protect you from all of them.
“Dude you should sit down, you don’t look so good,” Ben said, guiding him to sit down on the end of the bed. It was rare Jack had his mask off and it was most certainly non negotiable during the ceremony. But here in his bedroom with his (whether he’d admit it or not) best friends, he felt comfortable enough to take it off. Just for a moment. “You look kinda pale,” Jeff said, helping Ben guide Jack to sit down. The demon stifled a laugh. “Yeah you’re one to talk casper,” He chuckled.
Jeff rolled his eyes, a knock on the door interrupting a comeback that threatened to roll off of his tongue. The pale killer answered the door, revealing you. You were mesmerizing, the white dress Jane and Clockwork helped you acquire fitting you perfect. “I’d like a moment alone with Jack, if y’all don’t mind,” You say. Ben and Jeff exchanged glances. “Isn’t there some tradition about not seeing the bride until-” Jeff began, Ben’s hand planting a sharp slap on his shoulder.
“Hey dude what the fuck-”
Ben grabbed Jeff’s suit sleeve, dragging him towards the door. “Message received, see you guys at the ceremony,” He chimed cheerfully, a confused and mumbling Jeff trailing behind him. You could hear grumbling about Ben tearing the suit, the complaining making you giggle. You stepped inside, shutting the door behind you. Jack was eager to be beside you, approaching you quickly.
“Hi there,” You greeted, giving him a genuine smile. Upon seeing your face he began to relax, the dark gray color returning to his face. “You look absolutely stunning my mate,” Jack purred, pressing a kiss to your forehead. The sound of chatter from the hallway made Jack jump, pulling you behind him. He recognized the voices to belong to Laughing Jill and Kate the chaser, two creeps he did not trust. His gaze was centered on the door, your soft hand grabbing his arm.
“Jack, I need you to relax,” You say softly. Your voice was like warm honey, temptation threatening him to look away from the door. How could he protect you if he wasn’t ready? You walked around him, looking up at him as he towered over you. “EJ seriously, it’s okay. I’m okay,” You told him. Jacks gaze finally broke from the door, the sound of the girls straying off in the distance. “It’s hard to focus when there’s so many of my kind around. You’re not a proxy you know, you don’t have Slender’s unlimited protection,” Jack explained. His eyebrows furrowed as you admired his suit, rubbing his fingers over the suit jackets fabric.
“Maybe not. But I have yours, Jeffs, Ben’s, the proxies, Jane’s grown to like me I think, oh and Smiley,” You replied, giving him a small smile. Jacks eyebrows furrowed, tilting his head to the side. “You really think we could take on all of them and win?” He questioned. You giggled. You took his large hand, guiding him over to the window. You gestured for him to look outside, the creeps all taking their seats and talking. “This isn’t a war EJ. They’re not here to kill me. They’re here to celebrate,” You say. Jack watched as Smiley chased Sally around the yard, Slender and Trender caught up in a telepathic conversation at the podium.
Where the fuck did they get a podium?
“I guess what i’m trying to say is that you worry too much. Your friends like me right? So will they,” You told him, tucking your hair behind your ears. Jack contemplated your reasoning, glancing down and spotting the bloody painter. “You invited the bloody painter?” Jack questioned. You followed his gaze, spotting him talking to X-Virus. “I guess? Does it matter?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. Jack inhaled sharply. The last time he saw the Bloody Painter it ended in a bloody brawl. No pun intended.
“He’s just uh, not my favorite person on the planet,” Jack answered dryly. His gaze was locked onto him, refusing to shift away. You grabbed Jacks chin, guiding him to look at you. “I don’t like the idea of him seeing you. Being near you,” Jack admitted. It was something primal, something he couldn’t shake off. You were his mate and an enemy was prancing around his territory. “Guess you should show him who I belong to then,” You suggested, biting your bottom lip.
Jack could hear your heart skip a beat, a smile creeping across his face. “Oh you naughty little thing,” He whispered, bringing his lips to yours. Jack was never soft or gentle, but he tried his hardest to be so he didn’t ruin the dress. His kisses were hungry and desperate, his primal instincts ensuing. “How long do we have until the ceremony starts?” Jack asked, his lips refusing to stray from yours. You giggled, lying down on his bed. “Oh I don’t know, maybe till dawn?” You teased. Jack pounced on top of you, giving you a small smile.
“Need to know how much time I have with you love,” He purred, his breath hot against your ear. The sensation made you shudder in pleasure, your body igniting itself on fire. “Maybe twenty minutes?” You guessed. Jacks hands slowly pulled up your tight dress before cupping your drenched heat. “Okay maybe thirty,” You groaned. He could feel your dampness through your lacey white panties, the feeling alone euphoric. “Tsk tsk. Dressed so pure when you know I stole that purity long ago,” Jack hummed, teasingly dragging two fingers up and down your slit.
You whined, your hips bucking upwards. “Jack we don’t have time for teasing,” You say, eager to feel him. The demon above you quietly snickered, pushing your panties to the side. “It’s our wedding, they can wait,” He said, dropping to his knees. He dragged you by your thighs to the end of the bed, playfully licking up your thigh. “Jack please,” You whined, running your fingers through his hair. You tugged harshly at the roots, trying to drag him to your cunt. “So desperate,” Jack murmured before diving into your folds.
You could never explain or process the euphoria his three tongues provided. Two would shove themselves inside of you, scissoring your walls to stretch you out as much as they could. The third would attach itself to your clit, stimulating the bud as much as possible. It was an indescribable feeling, one that always made you moan and pant like a wild animal. Jack had purposefully gave you head everyday for a month, just to train the muscles in his tongues to be able to fuck you better.
As much as you were hesitant, it paid off.
“Fucking shit, Jack!” You moaned, throwing your head back as his large hands pried your thighs open. A primal growl rumbled in the bottom of his throat, his gaze centered on watching you fall apart. His tongues curled to begin abusing your g spot, your back arching off of the bed. You yanked at his locs, trying to pry him away from your aching cunt. You bit your bottom lip. “Jack if you keep that up you’re going to get very wet,” You threatened, your face turning red. You always got embarrassed of your bodies natural functions, Jack noticed. He didn’t see the point. He had seen every part of you and adored every nanometer.
You also had squirted on his fingers, tongues, and cock more times than he could count. How you orgasmed didn’t matter to him. He smirked as he continued his motions, your thighs trembling in his grasp. You whimpered as you came, your juices squirting across his face. You could feel your face growing hot, some of Jacks suit jacket soaked. He leaned back, your juices coating some of his clothing. He could hear your heart practically pounding against your rib cage.
“Goddammit-” Inhale. “Jack-” Exhale. “Your suits now all wet,” You sighed, trying to swallow as much air as possible Jack on the other hand was gleaming with pride, helping you rise to your feet. “It’ll dry. Besides, I think it’s pretty fucking hot,” He purred. He brought you over in front of his full length mirror, bringing your hands to either side of it to hold yourself up for support. “You look so beautiful, just watch yourself crumble for me,” Jack ordered. You could hear the clinking of his belt, the demon then wrapping his arms around your waist.
The height difference was one that couldn’t be ignored. Originally you didn’t think it would be possible for Jack to fuck you standing. That was of course until one eventful morning in the shower made it possible. All he had to do was pick you up and guide you down onto his cock. He did just that, watching you awkwardly balance on your tip toes to stay standing. As many times as you took him it always felt the same, your walls spasming around him as you struggled to take his girth.
“You’re doing so well for me beautiful, now open your eyes and watch,” Jack purred, placing a kiss on the side of your head. You felt him bottom out inside of you, the bulge of his cock visible through your dress. You whimpered as he let you adjust to him, his ears twitching at the sound of your heart beat. It always sped up when he first entered you, creating an addicting sympathy he wanted to hear forever. He swallowed as his gaze fell down to your neck, the urge to cover you in marks ensuing.
Jacks large hands grabbed your hips, slowly guiding you up and down his cock. “Fucking- fuck,” You moaned, struggling to keep your eyes open. Jack couldn’t control himself as he thrusted into you, his mind emptying entirely. “Such a good mate for me, taking me like this,” He panted. He licked the tender side of your neck, a chill running down your spine as he continued to fuck you. “You like this huh? Being used like my own personal fleshlight?” Jack chuckled darkly. Your head fell forward, your eyes screwing shut.
“Oh don’t get all shy on me now. Look at yourself,” Jack ordered. He slithered one hand up to your face, forcing you to look up. “Watch as I breed you mate. Fucking watch,” Jack rambled, grinning as your lips puckered out like a fish. Your noises were sinful, Jack couldn’t help but have an egotistical sense of pride. You could feel your second orgasm coming, your hands grabbing onto Jacks arm.
“J-Jack i’m gonna cum,” You panted. Jack’s hand slithered to your throat, squeezing the airway. “Not yet mate, wait for me,” He ordered. He continued to snap his hips into yours, your body beginning to shake as you tried to listen. “F-f-fuck I can’t-” You rambled. You moaned as you felt him choke you harder. “Awe you wanna cum so badly? Go on, cum. Cum on my fucking cock,” Jack huffed. The cord inside of you snapped, your body trembling as Jack came undone inside of you. Cumming anywhere besides deep in your cunt was out of the question, your pussy often dripping with his seed.
For a brief moment Jack held you in place, enjoying the feeling of your abused walls settling down around his shaft. “EJ?” You panted, still dazed. Your fingertips traced over the bulge that showed through your stomach. “Yeah?” Jack hummed. He wiped your smudged eye makeup, trying to clean you up without taking you off of his cock. “We’re still supposed to be getting married you know,” You chuckled. Jack playfully sighed, rolling his non existent eyes. He lifted you off of him, your bare feet hitting the wooden floor.
You turned around, pressing your lips to his. You smiled into the kiss, Jacks hands going to help you fix your dress. “How kind of you good sir,” You say teasingly, both of you letting out a genuine chuckle. A loud knock made both of you jump, Jacks eyebrows furrowing.
“Guys i’m not going to come in I know what you guys are up to but everyone’s hungry can you come get married already?” Ben asked. Jack quickly redressed himself, the two of you making sure the other was presentable. Once you both were properly dressed Jack opened the door. Ben’s eyes were buried in his hands. “Ben you can look at us you know,” Jack said, reaching over to his nightstand and grabbing his mask. The blonde shook his head. You stuck your head out from behind Jack.
“You really don’t wanna see me naked?” You asked curiously. You couldn’t help but burst into a fit of giggles as Ben quickly looked at you. Jack went to hit him, the blonde dodging his hit. “You gotta be faster than that Jacky boy,” He said teasingly, running down the hallway. Jack looked at you, his blue mask secured to his face. You stood on your tippy toes, pressing a kiss to his mask before encouraging him, “Go get em tiger, i’ll make sure the bridal party is ready.”
The bridal party in question was standing in beside the alter. Toby was your maid of honor, the ticking time bomb the most excited out of the three of them. Masky and Hoodie on the other hand, could not believe you roped them into this. “They’re fucking right now aren’t they?” Masky asked. Their gazes fell on Jack chasing Ben across the yard. “Maybe Ben got a peak, lucky man,” Hoodie snickered. Masky elbowed his partner, rolling his eyes. “They’re going on a honeymoon right? We’re never gonna get any sleep if they stay here after this is over,” Masky grumbled. They watched as Jack tackled Ben, the two tumbling to the ground.
“Where could they even go for a honeymoon?” Hoodie questioned. Toby waved cheerfully as you walked out of the back door. “They’re going to a remote cabin Slender got for them, isn’t that sweet?” He asked, smiling as you wobbled across the yard. Masky and Hoodie exchanged glances before resuming a calm facade. “Ten dollars says she’s pregnant by the time she gets back,” Hoodie said immediately. Masky grabbed a twenty dollar bill out of his pocket and showed it to his friends. “Make it twenty, not physically possible,” Masky replied. He raised his eyebrows as he watched Ben climb Jack like a jungle gym, the two in a petty brawl.
“They are aware they’re supposed to be getting married right now right?” Hoodie asked, watching as you smiled and greeted Laughing Jill and Jack. Masky sighed, reaching in his pocket and grabbing a box of cigarettes. “You can’t do that! This is a sacred ceremony!” Toby gasped, his head twitching to the side. Masky dug around in his suit pockets for a lighter. “Yeah yeah it’ll be fine kid. How long are we required to be here anyways? Boss was pretty vague with us,” Masky asked. Toby’s smile was cheerful as Hoodie handed Masky a lighter.
“He said till dawn.”
#eyeless jack x y/n#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack smut#eyeless jack x reader#jeff the killer x eyeless jack#eyeless jack x jeff the killer#eyeless jack#creepypasta x y/n#creepypasta x female reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta lemon#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta smut#creepypasta#jeff the killer x y/n#jeff the killer x you#jeff the killer x reader#jeff the killer smut#jeff the killer#jeff the killer x ticci toby
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this is absolutely going to cause me to lose every single follower i have but i Do Not Care so anyways, i have something id like to say.
incest is not inherently damaging whatsoever as long as its consensual. there is zero scientific evidence that consensual incest is damaging. NONE. of course, incestuous abuse absolutely exists and is extremely damaging to the victims of it, but what i am talking about is consensual relationships between adults.
before you call me insane, here:
in an article by clare kasemset from stanford university, she states that one of the main (and only) scientific reasons that incest is illegal is that "the offspring of partners with a high level of consanguinity are more likely to have birth defects". however, this is eugenics: disabled people's children are also very likely to have children with birth defects, and anyone really could potentially have children with birth defects. this argument is simply that incestuous relationships should be illegal so that birth defects cease to exist. keep in mind, the definition of eugenics is "to arrange reproduction within a human population to increase the occurrence of heritable characteristics regarded as desirable"; in essence, make sure that the only people born are "desirable", which would include being able-bodied. kasemset goes on to explain that "the act of incestuous sexual intercourse does not cause harm". incest does not inherently cause harm. the only reasons people give for the illegalization of incestuous relationships are eugenics and the potentially offensiveness of it due to the fact that "the vast majority of people in this country have deep-seated beliefs that incest is immoral".
article source: https://ojs.stanford.edu/ojs/index.php/intersect/article/download/137/35/615
in an article by maria campo redondo and gabriel andrade, they state that "incest represents a risk, but this is not reason enough to illegalize incest". this is because "other circumstances of sexual intercourse may lead to similar risks, and yet, such practices are not illegal". think of how AIDs is used to say that homosexuality should be illegal, how the possibility of miscarriage is used to say that people should only be getting pregnant at young ages, how the possibility of disabled children is used to say that disabled people shouldnt be having children: all of these are arguments that rely on nothing but "disability should be eradicated". ableism is so extremely ingrained in our society that people constantly search for the cure to every disability so that they wont have to deal with disabled people existing. i have had friends who have been told "your children will be disabled though!!!!! 😥" for being disabled just like those who are in incestuous relationships have. you should be allowed to have a child as long as you or someone else is capable of taking care of them, no matter if that child is disabled or not - a child potentially being disabled is not a morally wrong thing. as the authors of this article say, the reasons why incest is illegal "do not relate to public health and genetic risks".
article source: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/phil.12332
in a paper by jeff sebo, he states that "incest increases the incidence of inherited genetic diseases by about three percent". three percent. that is only three out of every hundred children born out of incestuous relationships. the argument of incest increasing disabilities is not only founded on eugenics, but founded on a very small statistic - especially compared to the fact that the probability of an autistic person have an autistic child is, on average, 3.45%. it is no different from any genetically disabled person having a child. advocating for incest to be illegal based on the possibility of disabled children is no different from advocating for disabled people to be sterilized.
he also explains that family is not dramatically different from any other relationship, and that there "are numerous important relationships in our lives—some of which are based on blood, others of which are not—and it is ridiculous to assume that our family members, whoever they may be, are necessarily our emotional centers". for many, many people, friends can even more important than family, or family can seem much more similar to friendly dynamics than typical family dynamics. the argument of families is also very often used against queer people by saying that it ruins the inherent family dynamics that are supposedly present, when in reality, families all function very differently and many people see their siblings or cousins as more like friends than how families are typically portrayed. as the author says: "no relevant moral distinction neatly separates our family relations from the other relationships in our lives".
he also explains that many people claim that incest "turn[s] out badly frequently enough to warrant a categorical ban". incestuous relationships are often abusive ones, this is very evident. however, "the outcome of our test will depend largely on how we run it". if we only ask abuse victims what their experience was (as many, many articles do), we will come to the conclusion that it is all abusive. only looking at people who were children abused by adult family members is not looking at the effects of incest, but looking at the effects of child abuse. yes, there may be a lack of scientific evidence for incest being good - but absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, and there are many, many person experiences from people. on top of that, "those who breach the taboo are branded as outsiders, they suffer the effects of social ostracism, and since others misinterpret this suffering as caused by the act and not the label, they are used as evidence in support of the taboo". if someone is in an incestuous relationship, they will be hated by everyone, which will lead to them being depressed and possibly suicidal - not because of the incest itself, but because of how its treated.
source (PLEASE go read this its very well-done): https://jeffsebo.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/the-ethics-of-incest1.pdf
#me omw to lose literally all of my followers LMAO#please actually read this. please. i spent hours on this#anti radqueer#anti rq#consang#consanguinamory#pro consang#consanguinity
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Exploring all of the main Yellowjackets ships (and what makes each of them so compelling)
In honor of everyone fighting about which ship is the best in this fandom, I wanted to do a rundown of each of the main Yellowjackets ships and why they are all so interesting and believable in their own ways. I am only going over the most popular ships in the fandom (romantic pairings with more than 100 written works on ao3), so sorry if some of your favorite rarepairs are missing! And if you’re looking for a post all about how these relationships are so cute and healthy, this isn’t it (except for maybe Taivan). I’m mostly going to talk about how toxic, tragic, and tumultuous they all are, because that’s what we’re actually here for.
Jackieshauna
Jackieshauna is all about possession (in the best, most homoerotically intense way). Their dynamic is fraught with contradictory feelings that somehow exist alongside each other. Shauna idolizes Jackie’s magnetic influence, but she is also deeply resentful of her. Shauna adores Jackie, but she’s also suffocated by her. She feels like can’t live without Jackie, but she also can’t stand living in her shadow anymore. Jackie cares deeply for Shauna, but she also needs to own her; she needs to be validated by her position of power over Shauna.
The queer subtext in their relationship is so strong that it almost doesn’t feel like subtext at all. From the longing stares and the constant, almost hypnotic closeness to the way they interact with each other, the line between platonic love and romantic obsession blurs to the point of becoming indistinguishable. Their entire dynamic reads like a suppressed, unspoken desire, with both women using Jeff (and Travis eventually) as a way of redirecting their intense feelings towards each other. Shauna’s betrayal with Jeff doesn’t just feel like a “best friend stole my boyfriend” situation—it feels like she wanted to be Jackie, to consume her, to get as close to her as possible. And Jackie’s reaction isn’t just about the betrayal; it’s about the fact that Shauna was hers, and suddenly, she’s not. Jackie is so devastated by the knowledge of Shauna sleeping with Jeff that she no longer believes in love and loses her will to live entirely.
Shauna’s grief over Jackie isn’t just guilt; it’s, once again, possession. She talks to Jackie’s frozen corpse, hallucinates their conversations, braids her hair, does her makeup, eats her ear. It’s as if, in death, Jackie becomes more hers than she ever was in life. I just can’t get enough of the line, “I don’t know where you end and I begin.” Shauna eating Jackie is the ultimate culmination of this. It’s an act of worship—taking Jackie into herself, keeping her close in the most visceral way possible. But it’s also an act of domination—Shauna, who spent so long being beneath Jackie, is now consuming her, overpowering her in a way she never could while Jackie was alive.
There are so many layers to Jackieshauna; it’s love, admiration, obsession, ownership, codependency, resentment, and jealousy all wrapped up into one severely intense relationship. Their story is so tragic because it’s full of unspoken things—words that were never said, feelings that were never acknowledged, and a love that was never fully realized until it was too late.
One word to describe them: Possession
Their best scene: Their last fight
"Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time. You're so fucking jealous of me you can barely breathe."
“Are you quoting Beaches at me right now?”
“No…”
"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. I’m sure everyone at home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they’ll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are, or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get.”
Taivan
Taivan is a peak golden retriever/black cat ship. Van is the golden retriever: loyal, endlessly optimistic (even in the face of getting nearly fatally attacked by wolves), and always trying to bring humor and lightness to situations, even when things are at their worst. She’s playful, affectionate, and follows Taissa around with unwavering devotion, even when Taissa is pushing her away or making choices that Van doesn’t agree with. This loyalty extends to Taissa’s sleepwalking, as Van’s support of her never falters even when faced with a darker, more dangerous side of Tai.
Taissa, on the other hand, is the ultimate black cat: fiercely independent, emotionally guarded, and always trying to maintain control, even when she’s clearly struggling. She’s skeptical, calculated, and reluctant to accept things that don’t fit her worldview. This initially translates into her relationship with Van, as she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, but you can tell she feels such a deep love for Van that keeps drawing her back in; unable to hide this softer side of herself. Van softens Taissa in the best way, cracking open that hard shell and allowing Taissa’s vulnerability and warmth to reveal itself. The most telling moment of this is Taissa’s willingness to enter Lottie’s spiritual circle to support Van. For someone as practical, skeptical, and grounded as Taissa, this is a significant sacrifice of her usual hard-edged pragmatism. But her desire to be there for Van, to show up in a way that is vulnerable and supportive, speaks volumes about the way Van has brought out a warmth in her that no one else ever could. Taissa’s love for Van is not just a passive emotion—it���s an active, deliberate decision to let go of control. The fact that she does this for Van is a testament to just how deeply she cares. And the Doomcoming “I want to see you” scene? That girl loves Van with her entire being.
In the adult timeline, Tai and Van cope with what happened in the wilderness in opposite ways. Taissa obsessively looks to the future and refuses to look back, while Van remains stuck in the past, refusing to move on. When they reunite in Season 2, they’re able to meet somewhere in the middle; a collision of the past and present.
It is clear that these two will do anything for each other, whether it’s fighting off a pack of wolves, tying themselves to each other at night, or going on life-threatening expeditions just to support each other. They are devoted to each other in any form. I can't wait to see them fuck on a table in the adult timeline in S3.
One word to describe them: Devotion
Their best scene: I ❤️ you (in blood)
“This is how you’re choosing to say ‘I love you’ for the first time?”
“You’re kind of leaving me hanging here, lady…”
“I love you, too.”
Lottienat
Lottie and Nat are classic narrative foils. They contrast so sharply with one another, yet in those very contrasts lie hidden similarities that shape their dynamic. Natalie was raised in a trailer park while Lottie was raised in a mansion, but they both grew up lonely and neglected by the people who are supposed to love them. Both of them feel alone and unloved, but where Natalie learns to toughen up and rely solely on herself, Lottie begins to seek connection in something bigger than herself—spirituality and the Wilderness. Natalie is the pragmatist/skeptic while Lottie is the spiritual prophet, but they both want what's best for the group. Lottie and Nat are arguably the two most compassionate, empathetic survivors, but they wield this empathy in different ways (i.e. Lottie offering Travis hope that his brother is alive, Natalie offering support through the grieving process as she guides him towards accepting his brother is dead). Together, they are two halves of a whole, each offering something the other cannot.
Lottie is both Nat's salvation and her undoing. Lottie offers Natalie the hope, purpose, and sense of belonging that she so desperately craves in her lowest moments, but in doing so, she inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that ultimately leads to Natalie’s emotional and physical destruction. When Natalie is more alone and outcasted than she has ever been in the wilderness after the card draw, Lottie grants her the title of the group’s new leader. With this new title, Nat finally receives the love and appreciation she has always needed, but she also receives the burden of being in charge of (and therefore responsible for the actions of) a group rapidly descending into darkness, only intensifying the guilt and trauma she lives with for the rest of her life. When Natalie is on the verge of suicide, Lottie rescues her and takes her to her wellness community, which leads to Nat discovering self-forgiveness but also places her on the path towards her untimely death.
Their dynamic is defined by Lottie reaching out, trying to hold Natalie, to nurture and protect her, while Natalie fights and resists. The hypnosis/sharing shack scene is so important. It's Nat finally surrendering to Lottie (and all that Lottie represents). It's Nat allowing herself to be held (thinking of the way she lays her head in Lottie's lap, and the way she and Lottie are embracing each other as they dance around the fire), to be vulnerable and receive the love and care she never thought she deserved. It's so tragic that Lottie begins to spiral again just as Nat is beginning to trust her.
There are so many great Lottienat moments: the hint of pre-crash banter in "You don't talk shit unless someone really deserves it", Natalie comforting Lottie in the middle of the night when they sleep in the cabin for the first time, "Did you read that on a fucking fortune cookie?", Lottie always offering Nat her blood, Lottie's "I just want you to be safe", the iconic bathtub truce scene, the coronation scene with Lottie kissing Nat's hand and Nat looking up at her with awe and tears in her eyes, Lottie keeping tabs on Nat over the years to make sure she's okay, kidnapping her before she could kill herself, Natalie regressing to her teen self in the sharing shack as she rests her head on Lottie's lap, Natalie's "I think it's time for you to stop resisting", and Lottie and Nat dancing together around the fire.
One word to describe them: Tension
Their best scene: The bathtub scene
"Good game, you fucking loser."
"You talking shit? You little bitch, you ended up with nil, the same as me. But fine, good game."
Lottielee
So much of Lottie’s life leading up to the plane crash was about shame and self-confinement. Her father made her afraid of her own mind, and she spent much of her youth suppressing herself through medications and a socially acceptable mask. Laura Lee is the first person to accept Lottie as she truly is. She’s the first person to offer Lottie an alternative to her father’s control. Where Lottie has only known repression and self-doubt, Laura Lee provides a safe space where Lottie is believed. Not only does Laura Lee offer Lottie validation—she offers her a sanctuary for expression. She’s not afraid of Lottie’s abilities or her spirituality; she sees it as a part of who Lottie is, something to be embraced rather than suppressed. Lottie’s relationship with Laura Lee is foundational to her entire character; her psyche, her self-identity, her motivations going forward, and her path in life. Laura Lee helps Lottie develop an assertiveness and confidence she had not been able to access before, which in turn allows her to ascend to the extremely influential figure she ends up becoming.
I think so much can be said about the importance of touch in their relationship. Holding each other’s hands to guide each other, embracing each other, placing a hand on the other’s chest and holding it there. Laura Lee provides a gentleness/tenderness in her touch that Lottie has been craving her whole life. The act of placing a hand on the chest is particularly significant. When Laura Lee touches Lottie in this way, it is a moment of emotional anchoring. The chest is where the heart is, where one’s truest self can be felt and expressed. To have someone touch you there with reverence is a profound act of acceptance and recognition. And this is something that stays with Lottie, becoming an integral part of her spiritual practices. When Lottie offers this kind of touch to others, she’s not just comforting them; she’s offering the same acceptance and safety that she first received from Laura Lee. It’s a form of healing, of passing on the love and belief that Laura Lee gave her, a way for Lottie to channel her strength into others and to demonstrate the kind of acceptance she once craved.
Lottielee is about nurturance and sustenance. I love the absolute awe on their faces when they look at each other. In a way, they have faith in and worship each other.
Laura Lee’s death is extremely impactful and devastating to Lottie, so much so that she still sees Laura Lee’s ghost even 25 years later. Echoes of Laura Lee exist in everything Lottie does.
One word to describe them: Acceptance
Their best scene: The lake baptism
"I saw fire— a light."
"That's the holy spirit, you've been touched."
Mistynat
This ship has got to be the most hilarious out of any on the show. On paper, it makes absolutely no sense. Natalie is dark, brooding, cynical, and emotionally guarded to the point of being downright cold in the adult timeline. She has carefully curated an emotional armor; an air of detachment and apathy that she uses to maintain distance from anyone that could possibly become close to her. In contrast, Misty is a perpetual ray of sunshine—a walking bundle of overzealous energy and bubbly optimism wrapped in frilly, vintage-inspired cat sweaters. She's needy, socially unaware, and often acts out of a desperate desire for affection and validation. Their personalities, seemingly at odds, create a rich, almost absurd juxtaposition that makes their interactions fascinating to watch.
At the heart of their relationship is a shared sense of longing. Both Natalie and Misty crave connection and appreciation, but they have no idea how to foster it in healthy, meaningful ways. Both of them have been deeply isolated throughout their lives, though for different reasons. Natalie’s isolation stems from her trauma. She doesn't feel worthy of love and she's afraid of hurting people, so she keeps everyone at arm’s length, often sabotaging any potential for intimacy. Misty, on the other hand, is isolated by her intense neediness and socially awkward tendencies. She becomes overbearing and obsessive, constantly seeking affection in ways that alienate others. This creates such an interesting dynamic when the two are together, as Misty is obsessively pouring all of her loyalty and energy into Nat, while Nat is constantly pushing her away and struggling to maintain a safe distance between them.
While Mistynat is definitely stronger on Misty's end than Nat's, I think you can see the soft spot Nat has for Misty. Nat is begrudgingly charmed by her. Christina Ricci has said that she thinks Natalie was the only one to show any kindness towards Misty growing up, and I couldn't agree more. There are moments when Natalie shows a surprising level of affection and understanding toward Misty, even if it's fleeting or passive. Nat protects Misty from Shauna after Shauna punches her ("It's not her fault! Misty did everything she could!"), she appears genuinely happy to see Misty at the reunion, and the line "We're all like this, aren't we?" is Nat realizing how alike she and Misty are; how they share the same trauma.
It is so heartbreaking that Misty, who saw herself as Nat's greatest protector and most loyal follower, was ultimately the one to kill her. And it will also be so heartbreaking to see Misty's obsession with Nat extend to her wearing Nat's clothing and taking on her persona in Season 3 as a way of remaining close to her. Here's to seeing more of them in the teen timeline this season!
One word to describe them: Unpredictable
Their best scene: Misty snorting Nat’s coke
"Misty! Get off my coke! Oh my god you're possessed!"
Lottieshauna
Lottie is the only one to truly understand and embrace Shauna (even the darkest, most suppressed parts of herself). While she has other close relationships on the show, they all accept only a portion of Shauna (the portion they’re comfortable with, the portion that doesn’t feel dangerous, the portion that Shauna displays to others because she knows it won’t scare them away). Jeff, Jackie, and even Taissa can’t fully comprehend the depth of Shauna’s rage, the thrill she gets from danger, her desperate need to be seen, or the fact that she wants an outlet for the violent impulses she keeps buried. But with Lottie, Shauna can be her full, unfiltered self.
Lottie doesn’t just accept Shauna’s darkness—she encourages it. She doesn’t flinch from the things that would make others recoil. When Shauna is discovered to be talking to Jackie’s corpse in the meat shed, Lottie is the only one to extend empathy and understanding to Shauna. She covers up the piece cut out of Jackie’s arm and gives Shauna Jackie’s necklace because she knows that it’s what Shauna needs. After the death of Shauna’s baby, Lottie risks her life to allow Shauna to take her rage (and her intense grief) out on her. In the adult timeline, Lottie’s goat trust exercise (not sure what else to call it lol) is what makes Shauna realize how she has been keeping the people she loves at arm’s length; and it is what lays the groundwork for true healing. Lottie always understands what Shauna needs.
Shauna initially resists Lottie’s influence, but as the story progresses, you can see her slowly being drawn in to her web. I think there’s something thrilling for Shauna to be seen and accepted for her true self (instead of all of the masks she puts on to be what others want her to be). Their connection is one of shared experience, unspoken understanding, and the potential for something both destructive and healing.
One word to describe them: Cathartic
Their best scene: The beatdown
"Shauna, I know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out. Shauna, we need you, let it out."
Travnat
There’s only room for one heterosexual ship on this list, and that is undoubtedly going to be Natalie and Travis. Travnat is tragic, toxic, and narratively doomed in all of the best ways. Travis and Natalie are two people who cannot help but destroy themselves and each other. Nat and Travis are birds of a feather, which means they have a deep understanding of each other (an understanding they have never received from anyone else), but it also means they have a mutual capacity for self-destruction.
When Travis lashes out after his father’s death, Natalie sees herself. She recognizes that rage, that despair. It’s something that no one else in the group can fully understand or sympathize with, because they haven’t been through the same kind of loss and alienation. But Natalie does understand, and she is the only one who offers him any kind of empathy or care initially. Even when Travis resists, when he pushes her away, she remains steadfast, because, deep down, she knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned in your pain, to have no one who understands the depth of your grief. It’s this shared history of suffering that makes their connection so strong, yet so toxic. It’s not just about comfort—it’s about two people who have never been allowed to heal properly, and who are only capable of hurting each other as a result. They have the same coping methods: numbing and distraction (whether that be through drugs, sex, or reckless behavior), which causes them to spiral and relapse into their old habits whenever they reconnect.
Natalie describes Travis as "my best friend, the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever really knew me." There is no denying that these two have a deep love for each other. In their light, playful moments in Season 1, you can see what might have been if they had connected before the plane crash. But now they have gone through so much of the same trauma that there is no way for them to be around each other without reminding each other of their shared pain. Nat is a constant reminder to Travis of the loss of his little brother, and Travis is a constant reminder to Nat of the intense guilt of what she did to survive out there. Despite this, they attempt to take care of each other over the course of 25 years. There’s a tragic dance between them: they push each other away, only to pull each other back in, over and over again. The more they try to heal each other, the more they wound one another, and this constant tug-of-war between love and destruction is what makes their relationship so compelling.
One word to describe them: Trauma-bond
Their best scene: Post-Doomcoming hug
"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to. I fucking love you, Natalie."
Jackienat
On an outward, surface level, Natalie and Jackie are polar opposites. Jackie is the classic queen bee—privileged, popular, and used to being admired. Natalie, on the other hand, is the rebellious outcast, rough around the edges and unwilling to conform. The ‘queen bee’ and the ‘burnout’. The ‘prude’ and the ‘slut’. Jackie cares too much, Natalie doesn’t care enough. But, in actuality, these are the cliche labels that have been placed on them/assigned to them by external sources. These are the false fronts they put on to hide the vulnerability underneath. Nat and Jackie are actually much more similar than either of them would probably care to admit.
At the core of their conflicts is jealousy. Jackie envies Natalie's ability to be carefree and unapologetically herself (you can hear genuine admiration in her compliment to Nat, “I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You are so completely yourself). Jackie, for all her outward confidence, is constantly performing the version of herself that others expect, and she longs for the kind of authenticity that Natalie seems to embody. On the other hand, Natalie is jealous of the life Jackie represents—privilege, stability, being adored without having to fight for it. But they’re both deeply insecure in ways that mirror each other. Jackie isn’t as effortlessly perfect as everyone believes, and Natalie isn’t as indifferent as she pretends to be. They are both trapped by expectations, and neither of them truly feels like they belong.
If circumstances had been different, I think they would have actually been very close. Their humor is actually similar—sharp, a little sarcastic, but often disarming. They’re both sarcastic, raspy-voiced little shits and I would have loved to see them play off of each other a little more. My personal headcanon for these two is that they actually used to be very close friends when they were little but grew apart in middle school/high school due to societal expectations. Maybe Jackie used to be more carefree before she learned she had to be perfect, and maybe Natalie used to be softer before she learned no one would protect her. There was no huge falling out, they were just gradually pulled apart over time, placed into their respective roles, and now there’s a part of both of them that quietly misses the other but also feels like the version of themselves that once connected with each other is gone. They just don’t understand each other anymore.
And Nat being the one to lay Jackie’s bones to rest? Rejecting Travis’ offer to come with her so that she could have a moment alone with Jackie to pay her respects, release her jealousy, and apologize? Nat being the one to take Jackie’s position of leadership in the group (the queen bee) after she’s gone? Tragic.
They are the perfect enemies to lovers trope (or, in my opinion, friends to enemies to lovers) that unfortunately will never come to fruition.
One word to describe them: Jealousy
Their best scene: Nat apologizes to Jackie's bones
"You're lucky, you know? I think shit is going to get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead so, way to make everyone jealous of you one last time. I'm sorry, for what we did. Who knows, maybe you could be the reason we survive the winter, so thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie."
—
And if you’re interested, the most-written romantic pairings on ao3 at the time of making this post are as follows: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor (1,564 works), Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio (1,202 works), Van Palmer/Taissa Turner (1,019 works), Laura Lee/Lottie Matthews (396 works), Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio (258 works), Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor (185 works), Lottie Matthews/Shauna Shipman (182 works), and Travis Martinez/Natalie Scatorccio (120 works).
#I am heartbroken to leave Shaunanat (Shaunat? Shat?) out of this list but they only have 68 works ao3#I’m sure that number is going to skyrocket after S3#I tried to be unbiased but i just couldnt help but write a whole book about lottienat#yellowjackets#lottienat#mistynat#jackieshauna#Taivan#Lottielee#Travnat#lottieshauna#lottielee
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shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)
note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.
warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes
part one
liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others
chefboyardee: life lately
see all 9 comments
syd_adamu: that pho was life changing
↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had
marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu
↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone
↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez
↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that
↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔
↳ syd_adamu: 😑
carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥
THE GOLDEN TRIO
[ 7:45 AM ]
y/n: did you see
did you see
did
you
see
ogmgokggkowkfofsk
syd: pardon??
what did richie do oh my god
did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day
fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad
marcus: nope i wish
y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭
syd: who
marcus: think about it
who else would cause this reaction
y/n: carmy!!!!!!!
i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍
syd: woah and the heart eyes?
y/n: no that’s my addition
syd: the bar is in hell
HES YOUR BOSS
y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??
marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨
syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????
y/n: bye im done
im leaving for work.
don’t talk to me ever again
done.
marcus: bye 👋
why do you leave so early fool
syd: so she can be teachers pet
marcus: smh always there before everyone
y/n: not true.
syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us
y/n: 😒
marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again
y/n: …. 😁
WORK
[ 8:15 AM ]
y/n: AYOOOO
great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍
richie: Is this a joke?
y/n: why would i joke about such a thing
carmy: Y/n what are you doing
y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty
carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it
This is not what I meant
y/n: well you yell too much
marcus: ouch
that’s my station 😔
carmy: Well clean it better
y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement
carmy: Not what that means
y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me
im making alliances day by day
richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends
y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally
richie: No
We are definitley in an alliance
y/n: love u richie
richie: Don’t go that far
chefboyardee’s instagram stories
WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩
[ 3:25 PM ]
y/n:
he so fine im bouta cermmmmm
syd: …..
marcus: :O
y/n: why are you acting shocked
like i haven’t said this daily
tina: Woah girl who?
y/n: HUH
richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it
syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices
tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..
marcus: she was talking about me you guys
y/n: the guy in the back
oh i mean yeah marcus
tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..
y/n: we are having an affair
marcus: no it’s about me
richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..
tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.
marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor
y/n: i was just being funny!
tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?
syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯
tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?
y/n: what no
tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute
y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT
its the tattoos isn’t it
richie: You have to be fucking joking
tina: I was playing..
y/n: im confused
syd: that was cruel
marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal
y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️
tina: No he is cute… for you 😝
y/n: this is humiliating
richie: I’ll tell him
y/n: NO
stop
sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY
richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards
richie: I’m just fucking with you kid
tina: This isn’t over.
THE GOLDEN TRIO:
[ 3:40 PM ]
syd: y/n….
marcus: you look like a ghost y/n
y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc
i’m done im so done
marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad
syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..
marcus: true it could be worse
y/n: i guess so
thank you for trying to cover for me marcus
marcus: anytime you know i got you
syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious
#carmen berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto#the bear#the bear imagine#carmy berzatto imagine#x reader#carmen berzatto imagine#sydney adamu#sydney adamu x reader#richie jerimovich#richie jerimovich x reader#the bear reader insert#the bear text au#carmy berzatto text au#crack#fluff#social media au#text au
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Okay I kept thinking about this post and Steve being a BNF of Corroded Coffin message board of the internet of yore.
Alright so way back in the nineties Suzie hooks everyone up with the internet, yes? Yes. Eddie and Steve got together in '92 after some mutual pining and a few disastrous relationships that couldn't handle 1) Steve and Robin's general QPR clinginess 2) Eddie's intensity 3) the secrecy required if having multiple years of monster fighting and subsequent NDAs and the trauma associated therein. They're older and more settled and ready for an Adult Relationship.
Corroded Coffin is gaining traction and doing really well and the internet is still a brave new frontier, so Steve says to Eddie something like "I'm going to see if there's some message boards about you 🥰" and find them he sure does. So he makes accounts and posts under the username EddiesOnlyGroupie because he's hilarious and also the mods banned him from using EddieMunsonsHusband (he figured it was fine on the internet because nobody actually knew who he was but APPARENTLY NOT homophobia lives on in the digital age). He gets pretty well known in the Corroded Coffin fandom, most assuming he's a woman because he will go off on how hot Eddie looked at a gig. Like. Saying unhinged internet shit because 1) true and 2) he and Eddie think it's so funny. Everyone kinda believes the groupie thing too because of all the performance pics he's able to post and how he'll sometimes offer tidbits if knowledge about the band.
When they transition from chatrooms to livejournal etc he follows, with the same username. He's kind of a legend by the mid aughts. EOG is the acronym people use when discussing theories on his identity, and he's like "guys I'm literally his only groupie it's self explanatory. Guys why don't you believe me Eddie hasn't slept with anyone but me since 1992. We're basically married". He goes "it's not a mystery we literally are in love and Jeff and I go to Cubs games and cry when they inevitably lose together. Gareth is Godfather to my cats" (Eddie is still offended that he was not named Sassafras and Moonshine's godfather when Steve and Robin adopted them in '89). No one believes him.
Possibly because he still thirsts after Eddie and whenever someone posts a new Eddie pic those in the know wait for him to pop up with comments like "I want to bite his neck omg" "he has no ass but nobody is perfect I'll settle between his thighs anyway" and "literally a crime I am not married to him right now what the fuck" As twitter grows he swoops in to grab his handle, and follows a bunch of other CC fan accounts (some of them old friends, some of them new to the scene)(EOG 100% has his own fanlore page, which also has speculation on who he is and how he gets all the bts pics. It also doesn't believe when he says what it says on the tin. He's Eddie's only groupie.)
tumblr and tiktok come round and Steve is like. Openly horny on main. He's seen some shit go down on the internet but he's still commenting on Eddie fan edits that are title shit like "why am I attracted to this middle-aged white man" and "retro cc fancam" with things like "I'd let him lick the inside of my ear and only bring it up to tease him on special occasions" "his FINGERS" "back in '89 Jeff and Howie and Claire staged a mutany over this song because they were 'sick of Eddie only writing about biting bats' lmao" and "Jeff is my favourite member of cc"(just to stir the pot)
Eddie comes out in the 2010's and he's like "yeah I've been in a long term relationship with someone who is usually mostly a man kinda (gender is fucky) for the past twenty years, lol. His name's Steve. I love him a lot even if he mocks me online." and of course EOG comments "the mods of that old message board should have let me keep my original handle of EddieMunsonsHusband. When're you gonna make it reality, Munson? smh" and everyone is like Huh?? EOG is a MAN? And he's like yeah? Sometimes?? Not always?
(He 100% thinks this is him telling people he's Eddie's Steve. They don't get the message)
Anyways life goes on Steve continues to thirst under pictures of Eddie, he has his pronouns and name in his bio on twitter (Steve, he/him, she/her, Eddie Munson's first and only groupie 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ ) and continues to post behind the scenes photos that shockingly few people question (she always says "because I'm his groupie" though. He and Eddie think this is VERY funny and also true. Robin groans. They've been making the same joke for two decades.) and people believe it because Eddie has interacted EOG sometimes, liking photos or videos, commenting sometimes. (Steve has a more professional realname account that he rarely uses but Eddie usually tags Steve there)
And THEN Internet user EddiesOnlyGroupie says he's taking a few weeks off for her honeymoon because "I'm finally marrying the man of my dreams!" And people are happy for him but also bummed because Eddie is also taking a two week hiatus but EOG promises wedding and honeymoon photos. (Face reveal! Sorta!)((he doesn't get why people are excited because he's pretty sure he's been in a lot of Eddie's recent pictures, but whatever)
Imagine the Internet's surprise when Eddie Munson posts a collection of pictures spanning '86 to his 2016 wedding of him and Steve, including one of Steve looking seriously at an old desktop computer, captioned "Steve starting his internet career" and tags EOG.
Steve qrt with "I told yall. I'm his only groupie, and they should've let me keep EddieMunsonsHusband even if they WERE homophobic. Because now it's TRUE"
Niche internet community drama chaos ensues.
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#rockstar eddie munson#rockstar!eddie#cc bnf steve#stranger things#this is cleaned up from a version i word vomited in a discord group lol#also Sassafras and Moonshine are steve and Robin's rescue cats they got when they went to adopt one but then found out they were bonded#and stobin had already agreed that theyd eventually get two cats and call them sassafras and moonshine after Stone Soul Picnic#so when faced with platonic soulmate Cat Edition with the names they already wanted. it was a sign.#finda's rambles#finda writes stuff#genderqueer steve harrington
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Tear You Apart
Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader!
TW: 18+, wet dream, p in v, cursing, bdsm, sexual acts, sexual fantasies, etc.
A/N: The trigger warnings would be too long if I mentioned every sexual act ever done in this story. We would be here all day!!
Synopsis: Eddie has had a crush on Y/n since the day she stepped foot into Hawkins High School. After constantly fantasizing about her, will fantasy finally become a reality?
-
The second Y/n waltzed her way into the main hall of Hawkins High, Eddie was awe-struck. She was clad in a bleached jean jacket capped in patches and pins of metal and rock bands. Many of them Eddie hadn’t even heard of. The Black Sabbath t-shirt she wore had been ripped to shreds, showing only a tanktop underneath. Her plaid red skirt swayed as she walked and had boys and girls anticipating for a gush of wind to reveal what was hidden under that scanty piece of clothing. To no one’s surprise, within minutes of walking in she was quickly pulled into the principal’s office for dress code violations.
The hall had erupted into gossip over who this mystery girl was. No one at Hawkins had a single clue who she was or why she chose their school to be graced with her presence. Eddie had never seen anyone like her in Hawkins, if he had he would’ve known. Just seeing what she was wearing made the blood rush to his cheeks but the second he saw her patched covered jacket he was practically on his knees.
This was his chance to finally get with a girl who he shared similar interests with. Don’t get him wrong, Eddie loved getting laid no matter what type of girl it was. But most girls had little to no interest in Eddie, they just wanted to see what it was like to fuck the school freak. They didn’t complain but they didn’t speak about it either. He was, to put it simply, a conquest. Now he had the ability to be around someone who, he hoped, wouldn’t shun him away like the others.
Eddie’s friends gathered around him at his locker, passing comments about the new girl and her clothing.
“God- I hope they don’t give her a pair of pants to wear.” Gareth hissed under his breath.
“I think I saw her bra underneath her shirt” Jeff added.
“The second you guys see a girl you are like dogs! I am surrounded by barbarians!” Dustin was quick to be the voice of reason. It was hard for teenage boys to view any girl as a person much less a girl who showed a little skin.
“You’re right Dustin. Did you see her jacket? It was covered in Metal patches. She seems cool.” Eddie finally added.
“Sorry Eddie- I was a little busy looking at other pieces of clothing she was wearing.” Gareth said.
Eddie rolled his eyes. One of the things Wayne had taught Eddie once he had reached puberty was to be a gentleman. Apparently, Gareth was not given this pep talk. Obviously, Eddie was attracted to her but he had to push down the want to tear her clothes off in order to form a relationship with her.
Hours had passed and she was still no where to be seen. Eddie assumed the principal must have sent her home with the list of violations she had achieved on the first 15 minutes she was inside the school.
Lunch was no different than usual except for the extra chatter of the mysterious new girl and her fondness for revealing clothing. Eddie pushed the food around on his lunch tray, disgusted by the unknown meat with the rancid smell.
“Hey-“ A gentle hand pressed against Eddie’s shoulder. The smell of cigarettes and vanilla filled his nostrils. Eddie looked up to see his friends wide eyed, staring at this unknown figure behind him.
“I like your Dio patch. That’s my favorite album by them.”
Eddie moved his neck to look at her but he found himself too embarrassed to look her in the eyes. Instead, his eyes focused on the jacket she wore, naming each band in his head- trying to get his mind off the absolute fool he was making of himself.
Shit, her hand was still on his shoulder. His face turned to a shade of red he didn’t believe was possible to achieve unless in scorching hot weather.
“Don’t mean to be an asshole but your sewing isn’t the best.” She traced a line with her finger against the trim of the patch. Eddie could still feel the softness of her fingertips even through the denim of jacket and cotton of his shift. Suddenly, Eddie felt the warmth of her breath against his ear.
“If you ever need someone to teach you, I would love to.”
Her hand moved back to his shoulder and lightly squeezed it, sending spikes of electricity through his spine. Then, she was gone.
Eddie’s face remained just as red as before. His fellow Hellfire members tried to help him regain consciousness but Eddie remained silent. He was stunned. He had never felt so weak. She toyed with him and he didn’t even fight back. He had never felt so powerless. In most situations he had had with girls, he was the one who approached and the one who lead. But, she… she was different.
“Eddie, dude, you should probably go to the bathroom.” Jeff patted Eddie’s shoulder, finally getting his attention.
Eddie looked down to find his dick as stiff as a board in his pants. Jesus Christ, he needed to get his shit together. This girl was messing with his fucking head.
After a moment in the bathroom, Eddie was able to go about his day as normally as he could. He still stumbled whenever he thought of the softness of her hand or the smell of her perfume. But as long as he didn’t see her he was fine. Right?
After Hellfire, Eddie returned to the trailer he shared with his Uncle and plopped himself on his bed. God- was he exhausted. Didn’t know being teased by a girl would make him so tired. His eyes fluttered closed and he gave in.
“E-Eddie please,” Y/n wimpered, looking up at him with big doe eyes, her hands restrained behind her back.
“Please what?” Eddie persisted, his leg pushing in between her thighs, feeling the warmth of her.
“P-Please fuck me!” She huffed, grinding her hips against his thigh. She seemed so helpless now. Her dominance was subdued by him and she had become a mess of herself.
“How much do you want it?” Eddie whispered in her ear, her perfume smelled even stronger when he was this close to her neck.
“I-I want it so bad, Eddie! Please I’m begging you!” She wailed.
He loved seeing her like this. Fuck, it made him feel like he was gonna cum in his pants. He couldn’t make her wait any longer and neither could he.
He started to reach his hand under her shirt when-
He woke up. It was a dream. It was a fucking dream. And one thing he knew about dreams like these, they always end the same.
Eddie lifted his comforter to find his boxers covered with jizz as well as the sheets underneath him. Eddie’s face crumpled into a frown. He had to get her back for this.
-
A/N: Dont worry there will be a part two coming soon!!! Hope u enjoyed
#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x reader#stranger things#Spotify
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good books of 2024
according to meeee.
there is no order here, at least one of these was published ages ago, I'm just working my way through my 2024 timeline, godspeed spiderman. 🫡
Metal from Heaven
surprise hit of 2024. top of the charts. stunning, spectacular. gorgeous. Metal from Heaven FUCKS. almost every single main character is an explicit spicy toxic hot mess of a lesbian committing literal highway/train robbery, the bad guy is literally named Industry, leading to such peak sentences as "I am going to kill Industry." the prose is synesthetic in a way that most writers cannot sustain for a full novel but which here culminates in a moment of pure blissful Neon Genesis Evangelion that I will not elaborate on due to spoilers. the author pulls out the FUNNIEST lines, and also the most abrupt and heartbreaking tragedies. we're not here to be subtle, we're here to put the pedal to the metal until the engine explodes. such a damning, whip smart condemnation of industry, capitalism, power. all in the form of Lesbians. also the phrase 'clown orgy' is mentioned. this shit is like gideon the ninth with CRUNCH. NSFW.
but don't take my word for it. take amal el-mohtar's.
Absolution
Absolution is a hard book. requires thought and rigor at all times to absorb what's going on - and also a reread of the entire trilogy beforehand, because there's time travel nuance involved, which makes it next to impossible to sum up the plot coherently on its own without spoiling things. jeff vandermeer described it partially as 'fuck that alligator from the movie' and - valid. the first 60% had me; the later section...swapped gears drastically, which meant it took a while to hit its stride (aka until it reached Area X again). in hindsight I was just not prepared for one of the POVs to be the Freudian, violently stoned, unreliable narrator love-child of Karkat and Dave Strider whose perception/conception of the heart of the Southern Reach is extremely phallic. and then suddenly cannibalism happens. I liked Annihilation and Acceptance better, but damn. it almost feels like this should be the set up to another trilogy. much 2 think about.
Yield Under Great Persuasion
I don't know why I didn't hear anything about this one before it came out! (instead, I only saw posts about rowland's other book released this year, running close to the wind - which sadly did not hit for me at all). Yield Under Great Persuasion is just ridiculous enough to be fantastic. stubborn little gremlin man, big mad about Pumpkingate years after the original inciting incident that set him at odds with his love interest, attempts to pack his little rucksack and run away from all his self-inflicted gay problems, fails, is forced to deal with said personal problems by direct goddess-intervention. you know it's gonna be good when the guys are hate-banging by page 2. a short, delightful mix of (extremely silly and low-stakes) enemies to lovers and hurt/comfort and working out your emotional and communication issues on page style comfort food. self-indulgent in a fanfic way that is rowland's trademark in a taste of gold and iron (which was also fantastic and probably deserves a reread now.) NSFW.
The Spellshop
between this and yield under great persuasion there's an odd cozy fantasy pairing here. a self-isolated shut-in spellbook librarian who lives for her work escapes the fall of her city and sets up shop back in her old hometown on a severely magic-deprived island. there's some internalized trauma being worked through, against a simply charming backdrop of community and solidarity and magic spells. really. I was. charmed. which is a rare reaction on my part.
The Hunter's Gonna Lay Low
the curveball of the list, The Hunter's Gonna Lay Low is a translated (gay) Korean web novel, and it's the perfect intersection of a decent translator meeting an author who knows what they're doing. notorious tumblr user @spockandawe has a write up of the plot and its major themes here, but in essence it hooked me with its hunter/super-hero meets Pacific Rim setting, its themes of gifted kid burnout and unacknowledged trauma with the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the fact that the author clearly plotted out all of this in advance, with minor details from the opening chapter being extremely plot relevant a hundred chapters later. also, the characters are FUN! the relationship compels me. clownery abounds in all the best ways, while the world-ending stakes are also scarily sky high. its translation is currently incomplete as far as I'm aware, which is literally this story's only downside right now, since you can read it online for free - but so much of the main story is up and translated already that it's hard to imagine how much higher the stakes can go, and I'm dying to know if these two make it through and get the happy ending they deserve. a delicious repast.
Apostles of Mercy
I'm gonna rant here. this is the story of a series that got the redemption arc it deserved.
if you don't know, axiom's end is lindsay ellis's blatant Bayverse Transformers female lead alternate history fic. period. she has openly admitted this. you can easily and clearly pick out the Optimus/Megatron/Starscream expies. and that first book was GOOD. it understood the assignment. loved it.
then...truth of the divine happened. book two of the series. was frankly. god awful. it was like twilight's new moon, where the main character's depression saturates and therefore stagnates the entire narrative, in this case to its detriment. it dragged. the entire appeal of first book of the series is the bond between the main character and her new definitely-not-a-Transformer life partner, and book two managed to both sideline that - the entire point!!! the main thing you're reading it for! the alien time! - and introduce the most skeevy and (for me) unpleasant to read human hetero romance of all time. it was so unpleasant I actually forgot how bad it was.
somehow. somehow. palpatine returned. after I spent three years mourning what could have been. book three saved it. Apostles of Mercy addresses the whole damn skeevy toxic mess that was book two and refocuses on what matters - the alien love interest and a LESBIAN love interest. yes. it's true. once again the sapphics won. we now have a book where the main character is reliving lesbian sex memories as an alien-robot-insect-definitely-not-a-Transformer mindmelds with her so I mean. good job team? her love interest also acquires an alien life partner of her own to expand this into potential alien foursome range? the assignment is once again UNDERSTOOD. in terms of the action scenes, to quote myself while reading it, "I can't believe I'm saying this but you needed to channel far more Bayverse" [for book 2], and doing so for book 3 has produced a work of art. I would say skip book 2 entirely and thank me later, but experiencing how bad the series got at its darkest point is part of what made book 3 such an exhilarating high in comparison. possibly that was the goal all along, impossible to appreciate until now. I just need lindsay ellis to get the contract to write the currently-in-publication-limbo books 4 and 5. because the series deserves it. it only just got good again! NSFWish because I can't remember currently how explicit they got all these months later, forgive me.
The Deep Sky
yume kitasei is new to me, but this book hit some interesting notes as a sci fi debut. it too is about gifted kid burnout and imposter syndrome, funnily enough, in a thoughtful take on the standard sci fi concept of 'a bunch of rigorously trained young adults are sent out into deep space as an ark to save a dying humanity' that actually does discuss how fucked up that is as a concept, both for the kids as they grow up under enormous pressure to win a spot on the mission and for all those people being left behind, in what might just end up being an overhyped waste of resources, since civilization sure is still kicking when they leave. the summary on the book is somewhat misleading - asuka, the main character, doesn't fall under suspicion until wayyyy late in the book, and spends the majority of it in a pseudo-detective role that is absolutely sanctioned by those in charge. she's not 'an immediate suspect' like the book blurb insists. go figure. it didn't knock me out of the park like most of the books above, but it was an engaging little read.
The Bees
a weird one from 2014, picked up on a whim - it's literally about bees! fictionalized bees! with personalities and priesthoods and caste politics and everything! I cried about it to be honest. very plotty, somehow all of it neatly taking place within the Lifecycle of A Bee™️, which takes some real craftsmanship to pull off and make compelling as a narrative. since I'm an unrepentant Raksura fan, I was like 'wow...how Raksura coded...' knowing full well that Raksura are dragon bee people, not the other way around. also the Raksura could never be as toxic (complimentary) as these bees are. 😂 it's just good literature your honor.
honorable mentions:
Heavenly Tyrant
has not come out yet. but let's be real. it's on the list in anticipation. it's what she deserves.
The City in Glass
I love nghi vo's work, have read and adored all of the singing hills cycle novellas. it took a month for my library hold on this book to be available. and then I promptly got distracted by metal from heaven and the hunter's gonna lay low 😂 I will read it!!! the first eight pages were good! vitrine's voice is very good! I've just had a very busy end of the year interrupting my everything. (update: I read two more pages and it immediately and promptly popped off. whoops. guess I'm reading that next. whenever I have free time again...)
#book recommendations#the hunter's gonna lay low truly gives off madoka vibes at times (complimentary)#i need more people to buy apostles of mercy in the dim hope it will continue lmao#long post
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John Kramer and The Denlon's
Cracks everything in my body. It's time to yap. I keep going on in many posts about the fact John is just as flawed as those he tries to ''better'', so I want to go over one of my main comparisons in a tad more depth than I have before. John Kramer and Jeff Denlon honestly are very similar when it comes to their backstory and need for revenge due to grief. Even though John always states that he tests people so they become grateful for being alive- It's very obvious in some cases, he's doing it for his own type of gratification too. For example, Cecil Adams who caused Jill Tuck to miscarry and then Cecilia Pederson who scammed John. He didn't put these people in traps just because of his philosophy, but because they were also very ''close to home'' for him.
The loss of a child is very integral to both John and Jeff's character. Both of these men crave justice.... However, the way they want it and how they achieve it isn't exactly the most healthy thing. It leads both of them to neglect their partners, Jill and Lynn. (Just took a break to eat leftover spaghetti I am legit lost in the sauce- I don't plan out these little rants I do, so I just go where rambling takes me.) When it comes to the major differences between them, Jeff is more rage fuelled, at least in how he carries himself. His anger manifests more verbally and physically than John- Which is his downfall, alongside him not listening or acting when needed. This is a bit of a reach, but another thought nonetheless and nothing I say needs to be something I'm 100% on anyway. Danica Scott, the only other witness to Dylan's death didn't cause Jeff's son's demise, however her lack of action and fleeing the scene made her someone Jeff would want to take revenge upon anyway.
Amanda, although she had more involvement with Gideon's death, seeing as she was the one to convince Cecil to rob the clinic, didn't take physical action either. However, outside of her just being a drug addict- It is debated whether or not John always knew about her role in Jill Tuck's miscarriage, another reason for her to be tested.
We've also got basic comparisons such as the fact Jill and Lynn are both in the medical field and having mentioned Lynn again? Her demeanour is more like John than anybody else I have brought up in this post I'd say- I can't really word well why I think that, but it's there anyway. (Another thing to add is how in Saw 3, John in his delirious state starts getting confused and thinking Lynn is Jill.)
Might as well slip some others thoughts in here too whilst I'm fucking rambling this much- I don't have too many complex thoughts on Jeff Denlon I guess, I basically seem him as an example within the Saw universe about a person who cannot let go enough that it results in his trauma and vengeance taking over his life and ending it too. He's not a evil or terrible man, just very flawed. He had some of the physically easiest traps in the franchise to complete, but because he never made an effort to heal and instead remained stagnant within his grief... He takes too long to take action and morally flip flops all over the place when it comes to what decision he'll make- It's that or he doesn't assess the long term consequences of things such as never forgiving. I personally don't think he ever has to forgive someone like Timothy Young- However, I do believe he let's it impact his life and those around him too much. Corbett didn't deserve the neglect she faced and she herself is a child grieving her sibling. Grief and forgiveness are very hard topics to navigate, but I honestly as a viewer felt the most bad for Corbett more so than Jeff or even Lynn. Coming back to Lynn, I believe she ''learnt'' the most or at least came to terms with things faster within her trap than Jeff. She didn't have time to dwell or not be fast paced with her choices, because her life was connected to John's. She was doing her best not only to stay alive, but to get back to her family even if it was dysfunctional. (Me when I come back to this in my drafts weeks later, time to attempt to find the wave length I was on whilst doing this before.) It's an interesting though to picture different people in other traps. For example, if Lynn was going through Jeff's test. Would she have reacted faster than him and made clear cut decisions? Could she forgive? Jeff is no medical professional and his rage wouldn't let him care for John to the best of his ability so we know he'd fumble that, which is why I'm more so focused on Lynn in his test. Lynn's grief is more ''subtle'' compared to Jeff's and as an audience it's hard to pinpoint what her thoughts and opinions of those involved with her sons death would've been. She turned to antidepressants and her fractured marriage led her to having an affair, not to mention the child neglect. But when it comes down to it, we don't see as much as a drive for revenge and justice within Lynn as we do Jeff. This would mainly come down to screen time, setting and general context but it's an interesting thought of how she'd handle someone like Danica or Timothy if they were right in front of her.
This is why I say she learnt the most from her test compared to Jeff in his? After everything she went through with Amanda constantly up her ass and power drilling through a guys skull- All Lynn wanted was to reunite with her family. Like, the only time we see Lynn exert full physical violence is in a deleted scene where she attacks Amanda.... And even then that is because she wants the key for her collar more so than a drive to murder the other woman. On all accounts, she actually won that scuffle as well.
But then for example Jeff when he finally encounters John? He just can't help himself! Lynn literally is on the floor bleeding out, reaching for him not to leave and this man just can't NOT go and fulfil his need for vengeance. He'd literally just acted upon it before too by shooting Amanda, though that is more understandable giving the context of the fact she shot Lynn..... I think overall this is why so many people dislike Jeff but they just can't word it? Like he's been dubbed ''slow ass motherfucking Jeff''- But it's not really the speed of execution, it's either the lack of long term critical thinking and or the fact he's indecisive? Jeff doesn't have the weight of a contraption around his neck and or his life truly on the line like his wife.... However, somehow Lynn is still managing her test better than him with a freaky little lesbian on her ass and doing backhouse brain surgery on some random old dude with a fucking power drill. I'll also bring up the fact that like John and Jeff, Mark Hoffman has a pretty similar drive and motive to the both of these men. Just like how Jeff saw his sons death, Mark saw the aftermath of his sisters murder for example. All three of them feel justified in their actions against those who have wronged them and etc....
And as I always bring up in character studies like these, the perceptions from the audience are so interesting- Especially when you start comparing characters. It will come as no surprise when I say, I am a pretty active Tumblr user... Through this? The interactions with media and popularity of characters from Saw on this platform are decently clear. First I'll get it out the way that screen time plays a big role in making characters fan favourites. Although, Adam is a subversion to this as he's only in one movie (alive) and likely the most popular Saw character- Anyway! Using John, Jeff and Mark as examples here still... As previously stated, these three men can be considered quite alike in some aspects! But our perceptions of them are quite different due to how they're presented and what we know about them. John is an older sickly man, his life being cut short by the fact he has terminal cancer. His wife miscarries and later on then becomes ex-wife and then also somewhere down the line he gets scammed by a fake cancer treatment....All in all? Dude's kinda got fucked over. But what I haven't mentioned yet in this brief is the fact that whilst most of this is going on, peepaw is designing elaborate death traps and testing people in them slash indoctrinating some into his fuckass ideology! He as a character get's quite a neutral response and or a 50/50 split? He's Jigsaw, the face of the franchise.... There is a decent amount to discuss in regards to him. However, when it all comes down to it it I wouldn’t say he’s favoured as much as other characters.
Moving to Jeff, he witnessed his own son get killed in a hit and run and the grief and injustice of that basically made him spiral into neglecting himself but also his family. He cannot move forward from the loss of Dylan and this is why during his test he is so slow to act- I think one thing to mention here too, is this is something John likely accounted for. Jeff’s test is designed for him and the challenge isn’t that of " OH CUT YOU ARM” it’s for him to overcome his grief and to choose whether to forgive or let those involved with Dylan’s passing die. It’s easy for us as viewers behind the screen to think that he could’ve done almost everything faster. But we’re not Jeff. It’s shown time and time again mentally he just cannot move on and the only reason he is making progress though the test is due to its nature, average therapy? Jeff just wouldn’t go because he refuses to confront HIMSELF in regards to his own grief and would rather wallow in fantasies of revenge.
Mark Hoffman? Obviously the case I’ll bring up with him is that of his sister's murder. Angelina is his only close relative, with no other mention of Mark’s family in the franchise really. So, when she is killed in a case of domestic violence and he also sees her dead body? Yeah, that’s certainly the kind of thing to fuck someone up mentally. Which is why Mark then developed a drinking problem to cope and started to display more erratic behaviour such as shooting a man three times who’d actually surrendered beforehand…. By the time Seth Baxter his sister's killer is released from prison via a technicality- Mark has no quarrels with taking his revenge via abducting him and placing him in a Jigsaw like trap. However, as we all know, this trap is by no means escapable and is only being used by Mark as a scapegoat to get away with murdering Seth. This act then kickstarts his life as an apprentice for John when he himself is abducted.
(I legit forgot this was in my drafts- Months later. I’ll post this now even if it’s not really complete…)
#jeff denlon#john kramer#lynn denlon#jill tuck#danica scott#amanda young#dylan denlon#corbett denlon#timothy young#mark hoffman#angelina acomb#saw#saw study#character study#saw franchise#saw movies#sawposting
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I love you vinnnnneeee....... vinnnyyyyy of everymanhybrid youre awesome.
vinnie fucking awesome. i like him alot. im obsessed with characters trapping themselves in their own tragedy, until it gets pried from their own hands. okay so the thing about vinny is that he's the most outgoing of the three in a more traditioal sense, as in it's him who runs the channel, the main face, hes our protagonist, really, not the MAIN character but the guy we wanna see, and the other two acknolwedge this in the fitness arc like earrlly on. he's a character that deteriorates, he starts strong, the leader, "jeff we have to keep filming or this prankster wins", hes positive and bright and comes up with their ideas
and then "jokes over" hits and we are sent spiralling into the unknown. jeff i love you. the where-is-jessa arc also introduces damsel/steph, i love you , jeff i love you guy who responds poorly to tragedy. but anyways vinnie is like, oh damn, okay, well this fucking blows. and he keeps filming. because thats what vinny does.
cue the long running middle arcs of the series, alex miseries, HABIT, onwards, outside help, you know the drill. and we finally start seeing the slow, cheese-grating has started making a dent on good ol vinn. now, listen, hes a guy who makes a decision and fucking trucks on that path no matter what, so despite it all, despite the hesitation, the misery, he keeps going!!
this is his cycle. he is the voyeur. he will watch. he will drown in the misery of his fate. and its him that dooms them. That's how it's always been! through every iteration! Patrick confirms this in tower on the lake, through Dr. James Corenthal, vinny suffered this fate, The Voyeur will always suffer this fate.
Vinny keeps going. he puts up cameras. he keeps filming. he pressures others into his train-car-off-the-bridge and hes suffocating but he'll see it through. and he's burning out. HABIT ensures this, through the entrapment era, his growing strength being Vinny's doom, until he's less and less of himself, more and more of a pawn, easier to manipulate, easier to hurt. And then. [Three's company.] Vinny drugs, complies. they kill shaun. and Vinny wakes up. The straw, really, not Shaun himself, but the circumstance- Vinnie realizes hes been complicit for far too long.
Vinny: I can`t get used to killing innocent people for no reason. HABIT: Well that's the only way were gonna win! [chuckling under breath] Vinny: Then I don't want to win. HABIT: What? Vinny: I don't want another person to die because of me so I can live. I rather die myself.
good, strong vinny starts to give up. and this begins the worst part. [blue room]. the psychological torture. Vinny is locked in Jeff's room. the gun. you know how it goes guys. and then [christmas]
Vince: Not good. And it's not even because, y'know, I feel bad or I'm scared. I'm not good because I don't feel anything. It's just -- what am I doing? Why am I doing this?
why am i doing this?
Guys, why do we keep filming? they say it in every series. why are we still filming? micheal says we're spreading the virus. Stan says the same. They all say but we can't stop. and it's funny; because; when that camera goes off, alot of them are saved. So many people don't have to die; they just have to stop filming. But Vinn doesnt. He cant. why? why even at his lowest, why does he still edit? film?
Vince: Who knows how many people have died. I've been in control of myself this whole time. I've been in control. I'm still pushing forward. I don't think you're a monster. He's using you, but you're not a monster. I feel like I'm becoming a monster.
instead of stopping filming, he asks us, to stop Watching. and THAT is who vinny is. blame is SHIFTING. theres always a reason. this is HABITs fault, slendermans fault, it the audiences fault, because vinny is afraid of what it means when they arent. "I promise I'm a good person." "I'm starting to feel like a monster." (the finale's rage shifting between evan and vinny on whos worse, who did what.) HABIT knows this. sees this. gives him leeway. youre the guardian. youre good. and hes not. hes not because hes the voyuer, and this is a cycle he can't end, because vinny does Not KNOW when to stop.
evan goes on, this is the FINALE, the beautiful last moment, so we see everythign again. its all recontextualized; what Vinny did, how many he's fed to the Rake, to Slenderman, to HABIT. How long he's been pointing his camera at victims, this puts a whole new spin on everything. and we see it. we see how heavy Vinn's hand has been in his own downfall.
Evan: [chortles] I can forgive you...but I gotta kill you first, okay? At least, through all this shit... Evan: ...I'll kill at least one fucking monster before I go!
and this has to end, and Vinn does what he alwasy does, desperate to protect himself, desperate to protect his own mind and heart;
Vince: I'm the monster? Do you know what you did to me, for years—what you did to our friends? Your own child?
vinn runs from blame , because thats his only defense, and. Then. it breaks. It only breaks- at the end. they killed all their monsters. Sort of.
Vince: Fuck, Evan. Damn it. Vince: I don't know if we're monsters… or just a couple of unlucky bastards. [He closes his eyes.] Vince: I'm sorry…
and this is how it all ends. this is the end of our iteration. vin, side by side with his best friend, blinks away tears, covered in his own blood and the blood of the person he can never leave, and this is the end. and he accepts it. we. we did this.
Just a couple of unlucky bastards. victims of monsters and cycles we could never even begin to understand.
vinny puts the camera down. his happy ending hinged on it. its very human, isnt it?
does ANYONE THINK ABOUT THAT FUCKING CAMERAAAAAA
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A Holly, Jolly Harrington Christmas
Hello and welcome to my Christmas AUvent Calendar! Every day from now until the 24th I will be posting a ficlet that is 500-1500 from an AU I've done over the years.
All stories will be marked with the tag #12 aus of christmas so you can follow along as I will only be tagging my permanent list for this (it would get too confusing otherwise).
The next one on our list is: The Reunion verse. You can read the story here. All links will be to the first chapter, but the chapter itself will have links to the rest of the story.
Thanks to @bookworm0690 for help with the title.
Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6
~
The newly blended Munson/Harrington clan was experiencing the Christmas holiday for the first time.
Edie knew to sit back and watch the chaos. Harri and Eddie did not. She braced for the sonic blast that was about to occur in three, two, one...
“What?!!” Steve squawked. “You guys didn’t do Christmas? But how? Why?”
Harri and Eddie shared a glance and then Eddie just shrugged. “Jai was Muslim and I prefer Halloween. You don’t get mocked for Santa bringing you socks instead of toys when it’s a candy free for all.”
Steve blinked at them in confusion and then tilted his head to side. Edie hid a smile behind her glass of chocolate milk. She always thought her dad looked like a puppy when he did that.
Apparently so did Eddie.
“Oh, no,” he whispered. “The puppy dog eyes.” He turned to Harri. “What have we done?”
“Buckle up, buckaroos!” Edie said cheerfully. “Dad’s going to give you two a crash course in Christmas cheer. He’s almost militant about it.”
“I am not militant,” Steve huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “Just very well organized.”
Edie turned to the Munson boys. “Santa wishes he was as organized as Dad, and the fat little elf has magic.”
~
Eddie realized all too quickly that Edie had absolutely undersold the militant aspect of the Christmas mania that overtaken their home. They had decided to move in Eddie’s place (so he wouldn’t have to rebuild his ridiculous setup regarding the identity of Harri’s surrogate mom. They had told him after the wedding to forestall any meltdowns, but Harri had taken it like a champ and understood why there was so much secrecy.
But Eddie was digressing and his spouse was decorating. It had started innocent enough when he put up the first tree in their main hallway. Then second went up in Steve’s office, in the corner of the room. Then the third one went up in the family room. And this one was the presents and for everyone to decorate. Not the other two. Those were just centerpieces.
Steve scoffed when he brought it up. “You mean like the ten foot skeleton that was there only two months ago? Or the dragon that was on top of the house? Like those decorations, my love?”
Eddie blinked at him for a moment. So, yes. The Munsons had gone all out for Halloween. “Point taken, sweetheart. I will bow to your superior knowledge in this regard.”
Steve nodded smugly. Eddie should have known what was coming next. But he was woefully unprepared.
The train set went up complete with a ceramic Christmas village and its residents. It had working lights on the houses, street lights, and even traffic lights. Eddie had asked Dustin how it all worked.
“Fuck if I know, dude,” Dustin said, “by all rights it shouldn’t. Only Steve in his bumbling way could create such a mess of wires and connections that somehow feedback on each other and still fucking work.”
Eddie looked over at his husband with new appreciation. Because yeah, only Stevie.
Then he learned that there were two Christmas parties. One for the company which was not mandatory, but Steve went all puppy dog eyes and it might as well had been. And the other was the friend and family party.
According to Jeff who had gone to these the last couple of years, was the party. Like Steve hired a Santa Claus to pass out gifts, the food was catered, full professionally tended bar, the works. If Eddie thought the charity gala was obscene, this was that on crack.
The office Christmas party was a blast. Eddie spent most of the time learning new swear words in ASL from Steve’s secretary, Vanessa until her husband Nate dragged her away to meet someone in his department.
Then he spent the rest of the time teaching Dustin the new swears.
Then the day of the Christmas party arrived. And there weren’t as many people as Eddie thought there were going to be. He thought it would be wall to wall with stars like the gala and their wedding reception. But no. It was just friends.
But make no mistake the intimacy of the party did not make it any less grand. In fact, Eddie would have gone as far as to say it made it more intimate.
Eddie slipped his arm around Steve waist and pressed a gentle kiss to his neck. “This has been fun, sweetheart. Thank you.”
Steve flushed with pride. “You’re welcome. I hope Harri is having a good first Christmas.”
“Oh yeah,” Eddie said with a grin. He pointed at his son dancing goofily with his friends. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this happy.”
And then as if called Harri came bounding up to them all smiles. “This is the best holiday ever! Thanks Steve!” He hugged Steve tight.
“You’re welcome, Harri,” Steve said warmly.
Then Harri left the way he came, practically vibrating with joy.
“Betrayal by my own flesh and blood!” Eddie gasped clutching his chest.
Steve shook his head. “As though you don’t have Edie hook, line and sinker for Halloween.”
Eddie looked at Steve for a moment. “Did our children get swapped at birth? Because that is the only explanation.”
Steve just shook his head. This year was the best Christmas he had since his divorce, because Eddie and Harri were apart of it now. And that’s what made it the best holiday ever.
~
Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12
Tag List: CLOSED
1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006
5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
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The Safe House - Part 1
fluff to smut in a future fic
Summary: Unnamed female reader's brother seems to be involved with Luigi's disappearance. Her first person POV.
1,045w
NEXT FIC: PART 2
PART 3
AN: So far this is 3 parts. 4th part will be smut. Part 1 here is set up. please leave a reply, just tell me what you think. i'm looking for some constructive crit if u have time. ill post part 2 in a few days.
The Safe House - Part 1
Gravel crunches outside, the unmistakable pop and shift of tires rolling up the driveway. My stomach twists. No one should be here. There are only a handful of people who even know about this place, and none of them are supposed to be showing up right now.
I glance through the studio window, heart hammering, and my breath catches in my throat.
Ben’s car.
My brother’s car.
Holy fuck.
Ben has been missing for three weeks. No texts, no calls. Not even one of those passive-aggressive thumbs-up emojis he overuses. Nothing. Radio silence.
I abandon my paintbrushes, running to the front door, opening it before he even cuts the engine. The cold air bites, but I don’t care.
The property is big, tucked away in Vermont, the trees stretching high and leafless against the late winter sky. It’s a quiet retreat. Remote and away from everything. That’s why I came here in the first place. To be alone for a few weeks and paint.
He slams the car door, looks up, and we just stare at each other for a second, both of us blinking like we’ve seen a ghost.
“What the fuck?” I say first, because that’s all I’ve got. My voice comes out strangled.
Ben runs a hand through his messy hair and exhales sharply. He looks exhausted, thinner, his jaw sharper than I remember. His hoodie is all lopsided. He should not be here.
“Ben, where the hell have you–?”
“What are you doing here?” he asks, cutting me off like he’s just as surprised to see me.
I throw my hands up. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? This is Uncle Jeff’s place, I’ve been up here for weeks… where have you been? Why haven’t you answered our calls? We’re all worried sick about you!”
He exhales through his nose, glancing past me into the cabin. He looks wired. Restless. He mutters a low, “Fuck,” under his breath.
Then, before I can react, he reaches out, plucks my phone right out of my hand, and turns it off.
“I didn’t know you were gonna be here.”
“What the fuck are you doing?” I lunge for my phone, but he steps back, slipping it into his pocket.
“We can’t have any electronics on.”
“Ben.” My voice is sharp now. “Give me my phone.”
“Not right now.” His tone leaves no room for argument. “Just listen to me.”
I fold my arms tight against my chest. “I’m listening.”
“You need to get cool with some things really fast.”
I go still. A prickle of ice works its way up my spine. Oh fuck.
He’s serious. Like, deeply, fundamentally serious in that way Ben only gets when he knows he’s about to say something I’m really not going to like.
I swallow hard. “What things?”
He looks around, then gestures toward the main cabin. “Inside.”
He moves first, which is smart, because my legs feel weirdly detached from the rest of me, like I’m floating rather than actually walking. Inside the loft, I perch on the arm of the couch. He stays standing. Neither of us speaks.
Finally, I break the silence. “Ben. Talk.”
He scrubs a hand over his face. “Do you know who Brian Thompson is?”
My stomach drops. “Yeah.”
Ben nods slowly. “So you heard what happened to him.”
The room goes very, very still.
I try to swallow, but my throat feels thick. “Jesus, Ben,” I whisper. “Are you telling me you know something about that?”
He lifts his chin slightly. It’s not an answer, but it is.
I stare at him. “Shut the fuck up.”
“it was me,” he says. “And Luigi.”
I feel like I’m gonna be sick.
Luigi.
Lu, who’s been missing for months. I thought he was dead or had dropped everything and moved overseas. I wasn’t the only one who thought this. We all did. Nobody knew where he was. But now Ben is here telling me they knew where he was this entire time, while we all thought the worst.
Nobody has been able to reach Ben since… well, since the Brian Thompson shooting. Now I know why.
I’m furious but relieved. “He’s alive.”
Ben exhales. “Yeah. He’s alive.”
I almost laugh. Only because my brain can’t process all this information in real-time. He’s standing there, patiently waiting for me to stop freaking out before he drops the next bomb.
“And he’ll be here tomorrow.”
My stomach lurches. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Lu.” He rubs a hand over his jaw, glancing toward the window like he’s checking for ghosts. “He’ll be here tomorrow. This place is good to lay low for a while.”
Fantastic.
I press my hands against my temples, squeezing my eyes shut. This is happening so fast. One second I’m up here in Vermont, soaking in the beauty of solitude, then my brother shows up out of nowhere, tells me he’s an accomplice to murder, and that tomorrow, Luigi is going to walk through that door like a ghost returning from the grave.
I push off the couch and follow Ben to the door, catching sight of him popping the trunk. He hauls out a silver suitcase, then another. They’re heavy. My stomach twists.
“What is that?” I demand.
Ben doesn’t look at me. “Stuff.”
Stuff. Awesome.
I should say something. I should demand answers. But my brain keeps skipping ahead to the part where tomorrow, Luigi will be here.
Ben and Luigi were practically inseparable in college, both in the same frat, Phi Kappa Psi. They rushed together, partied together, graduated together. And now they’ve done… this together.
The last time I saw Luigi, it was summer. Some birthday party. We had circled each other all night, and when he finally got me alone, he whispered, “Ben is gonna kill me,” and kissed me. Soft, his hands in my hair, tasting of tequila and maybe the start of something new.
Then he fell off the face of the earth.
Ben slams the trunk shut, looks at me over the roof of the car. “You good?”
I force myself to nod. “Yeah.”
He doesn’t press, just hoists another bag over his shoulder and heads inside.
Luigi will be here tomorrow, and I don’t have a clue what to expect.
—
The Safe House - Part 2
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[Hello Mod, are you willing to share your Mouthwashing playlist? I want to listen to the stuff people reccommended on here that you've added but it's a bit inconvenient to individually look up every one. If not though that's totally fine!]
[yea :D i'll even leave in the showtunes lol. this is a combination of stuff i picked on my own and stuff that was recommended.]
"The Main Character" by Will Wood
"Eiffeltornet" by Ted Gäardestad
"Paganel's Song (From 'Captain Grant's Children')" by Nikolay Cherkasov (alternate version)
"Lifeboat" by Sophia Isaacs
"LEMONS (feat. Cavetown)" by Brye
"Requiem" from Dear Evan Hansen
"The Moon Will Sing" by The Crane Wives
"Rule #4 - Fish in a Birdcage" by Fish in a Birdcage
"No One Mourns the Wicked" from Wicked
"Ship in a Bottle" by fin
"Headlock" by Imogen Heap (big shock there)
"Wake Up" from Jagged Little Pill
"The Dismemberment Song" by Blue Kid
"Modern Day Cain" by I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME
"The Future is a Foreign land" by Ghost
"Good Morning Tuscon" by Jonathan Coulton
"Sinners Requiem" by Screams of Syrens
"Talk It Up" by Sammy Rae & The Friends
"Middle Class Men" by Syd Matters
"Je t'embrasse II" by Spicules
"Overexposed (Enjoy)" by Car Seat Headrest
"American Healthcare" by Penelope Scott
"The Fine Print" by The Stupendium
"Usa" by Jeff Rosenstock
"The Edge" by Panicland
"Debt Collector" by Jhariah
"Novocaine" by The Unlikely Candidates
"Welcome Home, Son" by Radical Face
"I Am Not a Robot" by Marina and the Diamonds
"Soup is Good Food" by the Dead Kennedys
"Mayday!" by Sparkbird
"Duvet (Acoustic)" by bôa
"Don't Stop Me Now (With Long-Lost Guitars)" by Queen
"Murder at the Movies" by Sushi Soucy
"Average" by Sushi Soucy
"Top of My School" by Katherine Lynn-Rose
"No Surprises (Remastered)" by Radiohead
"Working for the Knife" by Mitski
"Like I Looked At You Before" by Sade Fox
"Army Dreamers (2018 Remaster)" by Kate Bush
"The Room Is Filled With People That Love You" by Foresight
"Arms Tonite" by Mother Mother
"Fine" by Lemon Demon
"Harpy Hare" by Yaelokre
"R.I.P. 2 My Youth" by The Neighbourhood
"Teenage Dirtbag (feat. chloe moriondo)" by Cavetown
"Black Hole Fantasy" by The Crane Wives
"Misery Meat" by Sodikken
"Moon Waltz (Piano Version)" by Cojum Dip
"Six Hundred Strike" from EPIC
"Just a Man" from EPIC
"It's Over" by JT Music
"Closer to the moon" by Anya Nami
"Preybirds (Watcher Song)" by Rabbitology
"Tightrope" from The Greatest Showman
[as you can see, there's... variation in quality. if you want to know why some of these songs are on here feel free to ask. hope you enjoy!]
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