#This is one of my other friend sys! Lots of system friends today! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-firebird69 · 5 months ago

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this guy Joel Watts is the biggest loser in history. He's got this stupid look on his face what he really looks like is really awful he looks very dumb he won't admit any wrong at all He sunk his own ship and there's a dirty **** **** **** takes money from everyone as bribes and never does what you bribing to do and tells on you now you got enough of this total **** **** **** in our face he's telling on all of you you have to understand if he's involved your information is going all over so our son says I'm gonna drill holes in your head to help invent the borg Then they prove it and they're saying it put pins in there first then I drill holes. He's got a great idea to kidnap him as a woman in other words use techniques he uses to grab women. And it's a good idea we're gonna print

Thor

I have some words to say they wanna ask us then we kinda want them to it's kinda dangerous but not as dangerous as doing nothing.

Freya

The sea of writings and we understand it and I got some frustrating person I don't have anything new to say it's true i'm a one dimensional Weasel

trump

trump the coward fag who picks on me ahahah lol the only inventor and our son sys it. we use you up trump you shit. and yeh we kill off all yours for a moments peace. regroup get the next airhead who dares speak to us the way you do

Thor Freya

What you say everyday trouble is I have to hit you to stop you. So we have you hit and we stop you and you start up again this month you've been hit the 157 * and furthermore you're going to get hit today I'm hearing 10 from somebody then once in the head there's payback from Skarsgard and who's the one who captures you places you in the pyramid what's the phase one of Earth defense systems from what I gather smaller pyramids possibly put there by your friend who has you walking around with your teeny penis out and people want it as an orderve. You should really go somewhere else little pig are you gonna have getting stuck

Zues

Hera

i get it leave. will wear off a bit nope tried and im full of shit like to grow new brains. and no. i hear thaat. i help you figure it out no but tell you this is tommy f helping you and no your a nut case too and put me in the mental place and mroe. are a shithead and dont regard it with care. and you will leave trump and your bro tommy f...he says it i agree we are smoked need out.

joel watts

and wow what a talker no your a cheap whore joel. cheap. and mando you bite. badly. we hit you now

mac proper

and we use it your idiot shit trump he is a fighter you fall yell gt arrested and we fit yours up and take them down no hit yours fast now. tons do

mac daddy

he Is now in a downward spiral and is going faster and faster. soon that your tribe is they'll note your tribe is almost gone and they'll bite into that juicy center that everything got gathered up into don't find out it's not exactly empty. There's a lot of rumors going around about you being a **** they're serious nelson says what is the matter with these people you're putting up with a lot more than having problems because I'm someone different they don't like **** ****. It's true too nobody wants to hear this **** **** flying out of you This isn't my high school joel make a mistake here you're gonna pay you make hundreds of day not really the way to take someone down and we didn't learn it or memorize it we studied it we do understand you're the clown And you don't know what you're doing rebels hate you my son can't stand you your order to move by your people now there's a court case coming up and that case is important it's on Monday And what's going to happen is you are going to go to jail and start spewing when you are Charles Manson they did it to you and they interviewed you you look and sound like a rabid dog and they don't like you criminals like you are a dime a dozen what's gonna happen now is that the police are going to be at your door every chance that they get for your comments to them it's going to happen today tomorrow and for weeks they said and what we said was I don't think so and we started to block and then they started making you an **** and they've been doing that so we know what to do about it and it's just another thing you're trying to annoy him with like a little baby. And you know no embarrassment or humility but there's a lot of people who don't like you and want you off the ballot so this Monday because you're a baby responses they remember you are going to regret what you've been doing. Possibly you're very stupid they said they're going to put you in the hospital and they meant injury very badly it is going to start shortly that they're going to prep to do that to you and they're going to make it go there they want to see you while you're hiding and why it's such a big deal and they're going after you for secrets right now you're sitting there gloating that you see in one of his kids and you know it's his then you're gonna say it's yours then you're gonna say that the other girl came in then you're gonna say it's Lily and you go around and round and that's not good for you. Monday they're gonna start investigating you for real they wanna see what the hell this talk is about they wanna know where it goes and if you're not forthright they're going to haul you in and question you and your people and they said that today in a meeting and we happen and we happen to believe them. They need to know about New Zealand they get enough of you to attack it out of you but they need more if they get what they think it is they'll wipe you out.

Thor Freya

Olympus

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ludic-nebula-collective · 6 months ago

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Possible(?) Headmate List

I've been thinking about the gang today. I haven't really popped off about them yet, but I like the idea of a masterpost for everyone.

I'll try to put everyone in order of how prominent they were during their time. TW - IFS / Internal Family Systems mention: They were the parts I made during IFS that had a bit more autonomy than they should've and the main reason why I'm questioning so much. (I've mentioned in my pinned post that I don't agree with IFS as a practice and don't condone it, but these guys are very important to me.)

Masterpost under the cut!

Syren "Sy" 💫 ➺ based on my love of astronomy ➺ it/sol/voi/they + mirrors ➺ a living star, has both a more human and more star-like form ➺ was most often around when I was dissociating ➺ wasn't really the nicest, but it meant well

Maera ✨ ➺ based on my love of animals, mythology, and space ➺ she/it/they/star/woo/kit/🐕/🐾 + mirrors ➺ she's based on Canis Minor! blond border collie girl! ➺ always happy and always hyperactive, she's a sweetheart ➺ made me raise a brow when I realized she didn't seem to represent any negative "part" of me...

Evren "Ev" 🍯 ➺ based on my love of pastels, learning, "kawaii"/soft things, and possibly cartoons? ➺ ey/ve/ne/they/she ➺ I've been trying to see if these "parts" are more personas than other people, that's why this account is framed around one ➺ a demon in a human skin, but you wouldn't know if ey didn't have eir horns :) ➺ one of the ones that popped up cuz my brain said "hey, this guy's here too" out of nowhere lmao

Raine 🌧️ ➺ based on my love of oceanography and marine biology ➺ ve/xe/they/she ➺ human-adjacent, ve grow spikes on ver body (especially on ver head like a tiara) when ver angry ➺ ve mask quite a bit, more than any of the others ➺ ve also like to go by Marsh! it's like a screen name for ven

Homura 🔥 ➺ based on my strong Pyra (Xenoblade Chronicles 2) kin and my love of vtubers ➺ she/they/fie/e ➺ she's a lady with short reddish hair and circular glasses. the tips of her hair burn slightly ➺ the mom friend of the group, but she usually lets people walk all over her... ➺ if she was a vtuber, she'd call her viewers her sparks!

Saige 🌱 ➺ based on my Ground-type Miku (Project Voltage) kin and my love of the desert, botany, and the song Sand Planet ➺ dune/fie/kit/she ➺ green hair and deep pink eyes, like the flower on a cactus ➺ the one that pops up when someone needs brutal honesty ➺ kind of a hardass, but done absolutely means well

Juno / Lyra "LJ" 🥤 ➺ based on my love of Pokémon and possibly silly/colorful things? ➺ e/they/bu/🫧/she ➺ eir the middle stage between Marill and Azumarill, but as a human girlie ➺ here's where we get to the ones that weren't/aren't present enough to have a lot of info. I think e's pretty goofy, though ➺ couldn't decide between the two names, so e use both!

Wrenly "Wren" 🥀 ➺ based on my love of weirdcore as a genre ➺ xe/ink/voi/star/wy/it ➺ a tall, lanky, possibly staticky creature that's both mute and nonscribal ➺ xer whole thing was like. I can feel them physically inside me. is that weird? xe would claw at my stomach whenever i felt dysphoric or dysmorphic

Angel 💗 ➺ gonna be real, I don't really know what she's based on. my brain told me one day that I had another dog girl in me, so here she is lmao ➺ she/her, possibly more? ➺ a shel-Aussie dog girl! ➺ literally would just. make yapping noises. I'm dead serious. we love her for it, though

Sidney "Syd" 🗡️ ➺ based on my gender expression (feminine enby) and love of punk aesthetics and heavier music ➺ they/xe/ey/ne/fie/ink/voi ➺ they have two appearances based on their gender expression, but they're mostly a taller woman with shorter white hair and blue eyes ➺ wasn't really around. I think it was because they were suffering in silence

Addison 💾 ➺ based on my love of tech ➺ wy/ey/ce/ne/it/they ➺ I've never really been able to see or interact with the headspace, but I've realized it's a series of interconnected planets in its own solar system (if it exists). wy is the one that created it ➺ wy is a living computer program, so wy powers down as a means of running from their problems and trauma. I haven't really heard anything from wir at all

??? 🦗 ➺ also based on my love of Pokémon ➺ they/them ➺ I don't really know if they're here, but I wondered for a while if LJ had eir own part based on a shiny Lurantis OC I have

That's the crew! Again, I'm still not sure if they count as headmates or not, but while they were created to be parts of me to help me get through my trauma, they were very much their own people that only really "fronted" during specific times. It's all very confusing, but they still mean a hell of a lot to me.

If anyone has any questions on or for any of them, feel free to leave a comment!

#questioning system #questioning plural #actually dissociative #dissociation #plural system #did system #osdd system #pdid system #did osdd #pdid #🍯

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terrarium-tonic · 11 months ago

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i argued with an incel for longer than i am proud of

tl:dr

transphobic, women-hater 18yr old refuses to accept that people have harder lives than him, who simply cannot get any bitches, because he's unsafe to be around.

i work with an andrew tate enthusiast and today we got into a fairly long (3 hours) "debate". it began with trans rights. the obvious stance being that trans people deserve every opportunity and all the love the world can offer for the simple reason that they exist and are people. his counter was that he is ok with trans people as long as they exist quietly and dont shove it down anyone's throats. I responded with the argument that silence often means death and he reacted with general disbelief as he believes that "people know what trans is so they dont need to keep saying it and promoting it". obviously i asked how anyone promotes that and where the line is drawn between demanding acceptance and respect and actively "grooming" children into becoming trans and he couldn't define it besides making the point that people at pride dont always wear "family friendly outfits" and it shows degeneracy to children.

he made the point that he's ok with gay people but escalated it by saying that trans people have a mental illness and that he just wants to help them and that it shouldn't be encouraged or accepted. i told him my understanding of the science and how hormones and brain shape and some of the other things i've read and heard (having trans/ non-binary friends) and his only rebuttal was that not all people who say they are trans are actually trans and if you held a gun to their head then they'd concede but i made it clear that even if this was true, why should that result in suffering for the people who he WILL believe are trans? he wouldn't concede that it isnt a mental illness and maintains that he only wishes help towards these people but i asked him to define help and if he means conversion therapy, he vaguely agreed although didn't exactly know what that would entail so i informed him that people try this stuff and it often involves the systematic torture and sexual abuse of people and that he cannot possibly believe that this is a good thing to put a "mentally ill" person through and if the experts all say that is isnt an illness and the best "cure" is gender affirming care then thats what they should get.

this derailed into links between being trans and being a pedophile, i dismissed this as statistics just dont show any correlation and this is not a safe comparison to make.

i tried making the comparison to black rights and the history of this movement as its something he claimed to have more knowledge of but seemed to have no idea about the way modern slavery is rooted in the prison system and laws and prosecutions are unfairly pointed towards black people meaning that yes we "abolished slavery" but that was followed by segregation and then red-lining and all modern forms of division faced. this seemed to strike something but as soon as i attempted to bring this back to sexuality and gender and point out that these are all minority groups who face prejudice in different forms than that of 50, 100, 400 years ago but suddenly it back tracked to mental illness.

i tried explaining the stonewall riots and how they were seen as necessary because people were literally dying and it was being encouraged by the systems in place and one of the first people to talk was a black, trans-woman who was booed by others members of the community because some of the white L,G and B were prepared to take their rights in exchange for distance from trans people. throughout the debate he kept bringing up the fact that riots, protests and anything other than silence is just being too loud and makes business owners and the general public angry at whichever group is doing the protest. me telling him about stonewall made him bring this up again and he claimed that if people didnt riot that the general public would be a lot more sympathetic and like them more. i had to explain that gay-bashing is a thing people do and the police encouraged and did their fair share but this was again met with disbelief. the aids crisis history had, similarly, no effect

i asked which methods people are meant to enact change when the laws and systems are built against them and he said "speak to the media" and i asked how they can do that without also addressing children and younger people as he seems to think that this would be inappropriate. he didnt have an answer to this. i asked why young people cant learn about these things and he says it should be left to children to figure out on their own and when i tried to point out how much straight sex is pushed upon kids so not teaching LGBT history and information leaves an unfair divide for letting kids "work it out on their own"

we finally got to the route of the problem when we discovered that he holds the belief that women need god in their life otherwise they are degenerate and unpure and they have no self respect. he pointed out that a woman who sleeps with more than people than is appropriate (he would not define what was too many for it to be inappropriate) no longer has self respect and therefore is a reflection on the man as having no self respect. he stated that if a man is with a woman that has slept with multiple people in an unacceptable time frame then it makes the man look lesser and this is the woman's fault. i asked why he couldn't feel secure in the knowledge that his partner is his and only has interest in him and why he would feel insecure knowing his partner has had other partners but he claimed it isn't insecurity and that it simply comes down to self-respect (he couldn't define the term)

i had to point out that he has never had a relationship and that he is not a woman so cannot define what a woman's self respect is made of and cannot possibly give any kind of relationship advice to me. i pointed out that i have loved and respected my partner for nearly 7 years and that he cannot possibly have more first-hand knowledge about this topic.

he asked me the question "in a relationship, who is the prize?" i said "what?" "the man or the woman, who is the prize in the relationship?" i was dumbfounded and stated clearly "the relationship IS the prize, the two of you together in a relationship" he shook his head and wholeheartedly disagreed. "in a relationship the woman will most often say herself and the man will most often say the woman because men are not valued so she has to have self respect and be god-fearing in order to make him look good" i couldn't find a better response than "the god-fearing woman you've made up is taught to respect and value her man more than herself so instantly your logic falls apart" and he actually agreed with me.

i tried the empathy approach again with some hard hitting facts and among the conversation i pointed out that almost every member of the LGBT community has faced some type of violence, many homeless of a young age are homeless because of their LGBT identity. i also tried making him understand (after he claimed that men ask women out more than women ask men out and i told him thats because women have to be as safe as possible and he didn't believe me) i told him that i can say with 100% certainty that every woman he knows has received some type of sexual harassment. that includes cat-calling, unwanted touch, comments about appearance, more violent things than this. i certainly dont know any women who have not experienced something along these lines and i know its also true that, for everything i see or hear about, there are 10 things i dont see or hear about. i told him all this and there was a slight look of sadness, disbelief and denial but i promised him it is true and to think about every woman he knows, mother, sister, classmates, colleagues, he has to understand how true this is and i told him that this is exactly why he needs to learn more respect and that he, actually, isnt shit until he learns to become a safe person to be around and a person who can handle not being wanted because he adds no value to an already valuable woman.

this person is 18-19 and im a little older and i genuinely feel bad for him because i dont want him going towards a woman and making them feel unsafe and then he has to sit in his head and just will not understand that this is both his fault and the fault of many men around him. i wish i could have grabbed his head and just shook him until he learns to do better

#transgender #gay #women #stone wall #fuck incels

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doomsdayradio · 2 years ago

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12. 18. 26

12. Do any of your parts have special relationships with eachother? Would you like to share about some?

TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY ANON I'M THE SYSTEMS RELATIONSHIP MANAGER I'M INHERENTLY AWARE OF ALL THE NON-PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS IN THE SYSTEM❤❤❤ anyways 📻 and 🌃 are fucking gay 🎵 and 🎭 are also fucking gay they had an enemies to lovers arc 🌟 is also with someone but if i speak im in trouble 🌧 and 🐝 were the first in-sys romantic relationship

okay enough of those types of relationships other than that ummmm 🎶 admires and looks up to 🌃 a lot and seems to view him as a parental figure🤔 🧋 and 🎵 are in-sys best friends that's all i can think of off the top of my head

16. Is there anything about your disorder that has a physical effect on you? (Like headache/sleepiness with switching, chronic illness as a result of trauma, ect)

oh yeah we have chronic fatigue as a result of trauma😭 we tend to get really sleepy and lightheaded when we dissociate and sometimes we physically cannot move. i dont think we get switching headaches with regular switching but itll happen on switchy days or during rapid switching episodes

26. How do your parts present in person? Is it externally noticeable you think?

i don't think it's very noticeable to people who don't already know about the system but certain parts can be noticeable 😭 most of us generally act the same wether that's just natural or because we tend to mask automatically

id say the most noticable is probablyyyy 📻? there's an abundance of times our irls have been like "oh hey 📻" without needing to be told directly he was fronting LMAO 🎶 may also be noticeable at times because coffin's voice is higher than the bodys default pitch. speaking of voices ☢ and 🎵 can be noticeable because they tend to speak in an accent even without realizing😭

also apparently APPARENTLY im more noticable to one of our irls because apparently i make more sex jokes than other parts /lh

#words words words !!#asks #ask game #🎰

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carleencl · 5 years ago

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DAY6 Gravity Tour in Manila

Second time around, my favorite band, DAY6 came to Manila to have another sold out concert. Yes, another one since 1st Youth Concert was also sold out which was held in Kia Theater.

November 23, 2019 - the day all MyDays have been waiting for again. DAY6′s Gravity Tour in Manila was held in Araneta Coliseum, having approximately 9,000 attendees that started at 5:30 in the afternoon.

This concert was very “intense” but memorable for us due to our experience before, during, and after the concert. You may click read more to know the experience I am talking about.

Pre-Concert

Announcement of ticketing day, me and my friends planned ways to grab our desired tickets. We were already planning to get the Royalty Package ticket since seeing DAY6 and the inclusion of the package itself was worth it. Unfortunately, during the selling day, the ticketing site keeps on either lagging, getting errors, and even saying all seats were unavailable! We were also in line in one of their physical ticketing sites, and their system was down and offline. Luckily, we still got tickets which was VIP Standing C.

Since attendees of the concert were offered a discounted rate to stay at Novotel, we grabbed the promo instantly! It was because remembering how exhausted (in a very happy way) from last year’s DAY6 concert we felt was. We were in standing area that time and it felt like so dragging to walk from Kia Theater then to find a place to have dinner and go our rented AirBnB. Thus, grabbing the Novotel discount promo.

Concert Day: Hours Before

Since we were in Standing C, a queuing number was given to have an organized line up before entering the venue. We were asked to be in line on or before 2:45PM or else, our queuing number will be forfeited. Since we are just staying at Novotel, we were planning to go in line at around 2:30PM.

2:15PM - my friend, Lizette, asked me to check Happee Sy’s twitter and hold and behold: THERE WAS STILL 15 ROYALTY STANDING A/B THAT WERE UNCLAIMED. In an instant, I told my other friends and we grabbed all our stuff as quickly as possible. Waiting for the hotel elevator feels like years in the waiting. Once we were in the lobby, we split into pairs: 1 going in line for VIP Standing C and 1 rushing to the ticketing booth. We were still unsure if we were able to get the Royalty ticket thus having that back-up of needing still line up for the VIP Standing C.

With my other friend, Ria and I were rushing to the ticketing booth to try to get those tickets. Once we arrived, there MyDays already lining up to get the tickets. I was nervous that time if we would be able to get 4 tickets for the upgrade due the limited quantity available. I was counting the person in front of us if we will be able to make the cut - and we did! I was so nervous, happy, and excited that time. I couldn’t believe it that the ticket that we wanted since day 1 but failed to get during ticketing day, was able to have it during concert.

I called Lizette and Char afterwards and told them the good news and to meet them near the PULP Royalty Booth. We were such giddy fangirls while claiming our band for the Royalty, Hi Touch, and the version of album we would be able to get.

3:00PM - We were already lining up for Royalty Standing A then entering venue. I still can’t believe that we were able to get those tickets in the last minute! It was such a surreal moment for me.

CONCERT TIME

We were so excited and giddy that the stage was so close! It’s the first to be that up close to the artist that we support and dearly love.

Lights were all off except for our lightband.

An introduction video of DAY6 was shown and after, the 5 were on stage setting up their instruments.

Opening song was, “Best Part,” which was followed by “Sing Me,” and “I Wish.” Everyone was jumping and singing along with DAY6. The energy and shouting in the coliseum was so high and loud that I can’t even hear myself anymore.

I think Young K even shouted, “Manila, are you ready?” which everyone screamed more.

Three songs done and energy was so high from MyDays!

JAE: “Manila!!! Oh my goodness.

One more time, are you ready to have a good night, Manila!!!?! I said it in the beginning and I’ll say it again, tonight will be a beautiful night if you wanted it to be. Just enjoy yourself! It doesn’t matter anyone thinks beside you, it doesn’t matter what’s going back home.. tonight is a beautiful night! We are going keep this energy straight! So let’s go!”

Next songs were: “Somehow,” and “Time of Our Life.”

MyDays became extra energetic upon hearing the latter song. Though I admit, it was a song that you could really jump up and down, enjoy and have the time of your life.

There was a ment after 2 songs.

JAE: “Before anything, we just want to introduced ourselves. You guys can take a break real quick, you can seat and reserved all the energy.”

WONPIL: “Hello! This is Wonpil.”

YOUNG K: “This is Young K and tonight is a festival! Salamat po!”

DOWOON: “Hi! This is Dowoon”

SUNGJIN: “Hi I’m Sungjin! Nice to meet you!”

JAE: “Hi everybody, let’s get it! I’m Jae! What a beautiful sight we have here today. Second show here today and it is so damn real in the arena. Thank you so much for having us. We are so blessed and honored to be with you. And you guys are sure waiting for us and we are also waiting to be back. We have a crazy set for you guys tonight. You guys ready for tonight? You guys ready to dance tonight? You guys ready to sing a little bit tonight? I love this energy guys. Just one promise, I know you its gotta get hot, gotta get tired. It’s gonna happen. Number one, stay safe. That’s the most important thing right?

Wow, this is such a big place. How you guys feel tonight?”

SUNGJIN: “It's good!”

DOWOON: “I’m a hamburger. I feel...happy”

WONPIL: “This spot.. this is crazy. I will see how long your energy will last until the end.”

YOUNG K: “Are you guys ready to sing with us? Can we hear your voices.. you beautiful voices!“

Next songs that they performed was “I’m Serious,” and “So Cool.” Every song that they sang was just so amazing! I’m really at awed watching them perform closer this time.

Dowoon had a solo and showed his drum skills! He was so amazing. He truly is the “drum”. 🤣

Young K was up for his solo. He played with his bass and showed us what real talent was. He looks so amazing while playing. 😍

After Dowoon and Young K’s solo, the band played: “Out of My Mind” and “Feeling Good.”

JAE: “Oh my goodness, guys! We just witness something amazing! We just had Young K and Dowoon do something. What was that?!

YOUNG K: “That was my bass, my bass!“

DOWOON: “Before, we solo to you. The bass is awesome”

YOUNG K: “You guys.. the drum, including Dowoon, the drum is perfect!

Becase you are perfect..”

DOWOON: “Yes, I’m perfect. No no noo”

MY DAYs: 😂 😂 😂

The 5 members went to the extended stage and I got a closer look at the boys! I was starstruck watching them perform. 🤩

Jae was so up close that I was just looking or even just staring at him the whole time. He’s my bias and seeing him that close while performing was another level of fangirling spazzing in me!! 😍

BEST. SPOT. EVER.

“How to Love” was the 1st song played in the extended stage.

It was Sungjin’s time to shine! His solo act was so amazziing!! Leader still impressing fans in 2019 💖

Afterwards, DAY6 performed “For Me,” and “Wanna Go Back.”

As they went back to the main stage, everyone was shouting: “Dowoon! Dowoon! Dowoon!” saying that he should sing again. So Dowoon turned back as if cheering for himself too, but eventually, he sang his line from “Wanna Go Back.”

They had 3 songs that they performed in a mash-up at the main stage.

1st mash-up was Ed Sheeran’s “Shape of You” and their song, “Like That Sun.”

2nd is a mash-up between “Days Gone By" and "Treasure” by Bruno Mars.

I was actually expecting a full ‘Days Gone By’ performance since I really really do love that song (well, I love all their songs actually 😅)

Last one will be Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky" and their song, “Blood.”

Wonpil hyped the crowd more with his keyboard solo. 🎹

Everyone was cheering and just staring at him. He said that he tried to change his solo a bit for the Manila concert which of course made all My Days cheered more for Wonpil.

Jae: “How do you like the last one? That was a mash up with “Blood. We got Daft Punk’s and mix it with our song. We have a lot of songs we haven’t played for a long time.

Do you guys remember the last time we played ‘Blood?’ It’s been a long time, trust me.”

“Colors “ was the next song.

The song gave an emotional feeling during their performance. You would just want to raise your lightbands and wave it.

Next song was “ I Need Somebody.“ Surely, every My Day was into the song and singing out our hearts out.

“I Wait” was next on their setlist that they performed.

It was another ment to talk to the fans again.

JAE: “Manila, it will be hotter than this. Is that okay though?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Manila, are you ready to go crazy?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Tonight is the night that I’m just happy that everyone just being, having their greatest time that they could possibly have.

Guys, we have arrived to the last stage.”

MY DAYs: “NOOOOOOOO”

JAE: “It’s crazy because we have been waiting so long, just like you waiting for us, we have been waiting so long to be back soon. Going crazy and having fun, it passed so quickly by the way..”

MY DAYs: “Walang uuwi! Walang uuwi! Walang uuwi!”

JAE: “We appreciate it cause you guys with all the energy just been amazing and so fun tonight. And because of it we have been able to play for the last stage. We love and appreciate you so much but all things comes to an end.”

MY DAYs: “NOOOOOOOO”

JAE: “But, but..for now, let’s start officially. Wonpil looks like you’re crazy tonight. How was it? It is good?”

WONPIL: “I think you guys are having more fun than us. So we would be great to go back with all the energy we received from you guys. So we have a few songs left, and I hope you guys enjoy until the end.”

JAE: “Wonpil said ‘You can do it friends! Thank you guys for having us today. This will be gonna our last stage and the next song is very dear to us, so I hope you guys enjoy it. Let’s go crazy! Can you guys sing one more time for us?”

MY DAYs: “YEEEES!!”

JAE: “Okay, let’s go ‘Sweet Chaos!’

And with the ment ended, DAY6 performed “Sweet Chaos.”

“Sweet Chaos” - who wouldn’t be pumped up with this song? You would just sing a long with them at the top of your lungs with this song.

DAY6′s next stage was “Headache”

I just love how DAY6 can perform from emotional soulful songs to energetic hyped songs.

The hyung was up next to perform his solo. Jae doing amazing with his skills. 😍

Each member is just so amaaaaazing!!! STAN. DAY6.

“WARNING” was the next song followed with “Shoot Me.”

The crowd just keeps being hyper and hyper by the song.

Now, who wouldn’t be super hyped up with this song? You would just want to shout “SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME” hoping that no one really shoots you. 😅🤣

DAY6 went out of the stage and showed a VCR.

After the VCR, DAY6 were back and performed another 3 songs: “Cover,” “You Were Beautiful,” and “Congratulations.”

During this time everyone’s phone flashlight was on and the seeing the crowd was amazingly beautiful. 😭😭😭

“You Were Beautiful” was just.. 😭😭😭 DAY6′s songs will make you feel that you were in a break up even though you are not. 😅

Ahh this stage, “Congratulations,” will always be precious as fans sing the song and DAY6 plays the instruments. 💖

Next up was the highlight of My Days for DAY6. One of the fanproject of a VCR for DAY6.

JAE: (not aware of the playing VCR) “You look beautiful tonight. Look around you right now.

MY DAYs: *saying and pointing Jae the VCR*

YOUNG K: “Look behind you Jae!“

Below is the full fanproject VCR from MyDaysPH.

youtube

The VCR was just so touching and true. 😭 Personally, whenever I feel down or something that’s bothering me and can’t get it out of my mind, I just listen to their songs and I’ll feel a little better. 😭

JAE: “Wow! Wow, what was that? Woooow! The reason you guys are beautiful.”

WONPIL: “This is really touching This is crazy.”

JAE: “Guys I think, we are always fighting things. Thank you for being our beautiful reason to continue our music. You know, it is not.. it is never easy. Life should not be that easy but.. everyone has a reason and I’m so glad that we are able to be each other’s reason. This is amazing.

Okay, before it gets to deep. We would just go down one by one and tell you how we felt today.”

All the next things that they said made us all cry, for real! 😭 😭 😭

WONPIL: "I think this is really awesome. When did you guys prepare this? It was really awesome. First of all, it's our 2nd time here and thank you guys for so many of you came tonight to have fun with us. Watching the video, I realized how busy you guys are, also how many hard things you guys go through and I'm so happy that we are, even if it's a small bit, we become your reason for your living. This video is really crazy.

So even us, we are same humans so we also go though difficult things. As we are your reason also, you guys are also our reason.

Thank you guys so much and I don't think I'll be able to forget Manila. You guys are crazy. So we will really promise, we will comeback. We will make good music. Thank you guys so much for reminding us why we made this music and why we perform. Thank you guys so much! See you guys again!" 💖 💖 💖

DOWOON: "First of all this video, like what Wonpil Hyung said, 'It was really touching.'

Touching.. yes.. It's a very touching video, yeaah.

So like Wonpil Hyung said, since we are also humans, it's actually hard to.. Been watching the video you guys made, I saw that we have so much strength. Actually this moment, is like a reflective time for me looking how much we affect you guys and how much you guys love us. I realized how much I have to do better.

Ahh, your English very well. (saying to the translator)

Thank you guys for our good memories. Today is a present to us. You one by one are very important people. Please be healthy and eating well and we always love you guys. We will come back. Thank you!" 🥺🥺🥺💕

*No close up photo of YoungK since I was just looking at him at the stage instead of the screen. 😅

YOUNG K: "Please, give it up for Dowoon! So... Hi. How are you? You know it is great to be back and is all because of you guys. Thank you! Uhh, what is it.. Maraming Salamat?

So.. by watching that video, it made me confirmed why we sing. 'Cause during the production of this album and even before that, and I wrote it thanks to you.. my personal thanks to you. It was really hard.. after a certain point it was really hard to find for the reason why we sing on the stage. 'Cause we are doing the same things over and over again and I wasn't do it for my parents, wasn't do it for the company, I wasn't.. you know. It wasn't a competition anymore. It's just.. I was looking for the reason why and there you go, you guys gave us the answer. Thank you very much.

And really, you guys said we are the reason but trust me, you guys are our motivation.. you guys our inspiration.. you guys are our reason to be on the stage. So thank you very much and until the next time we meet, we'll be this much fun again. Stay healthy and happy. Thank you very much!” 😭 ❤️

SUNGJIN: "Today.. so happy.. because of you guys. 'Cause you guys made me happy, always. I think always, you guys made me happy. Thank you so much.. really, really. I wanna tell you guys.. is awesome guys, okay? I trust you.

So you guys do whatever you wanna do. Thank you guys so much.

We.. so, study hard and work hard. And if we come back..so grown up. You guys know what I'm saying, right? Okay, thank you so much! See you soon!"💕💕💕

JAE: "Wow! First of all, thank you guys so much because it is just amazing today. Just the energy today, thank you so much just coming to this journey with us and becoming one with us, and making this concert with us.. so round of applause to yourselves. Thank you.

Kinda like what everyone else saying that.. that video makes us feel alive 'cause we do get stuck sometimes and we do take some time like doing certain things."

*starts to cry* 😭😭😭

DOWOON: "Jae! Jae Hyuuung! Jae! Jae Hyuuung! Don't cry."

MY DAYs: "Awww" 🥺🥺🥺

DOWOON: *starts singing a Christmas song*

SUNGJIN: "And soo..."

YOUNG K: "Make some noise for Jae!!"

DOWOON: "Don't cryyy" 🥺🥺

MY DAYs: "Uljima! Uljima! Uljima"

SUNGJIN: "No, no, no. More cry! More cry! More cry" 🤣🤣🤣

MY DAYs: "More cry! More cry! More cry!"

JAE: "You guys are lucky, man. No one ever sees me cry.."

MY DAYs: "Awww"

JAE: "Thank you. It's just like, life gets so hard sometimes. I'm really appreciative of the fact that we have you guys and you guys have us.. and that we could be each other's reason to continue it all...*sobs*" 😭😭😭

MY DAYs: "Awww"

SUNGJIN: "More cry! More cry! More cry" 🤣🤣🤣

MY DAYs: "More cry! More cry! More cry!"

JAE: "I never cry..I never cry. This never happened. No one.. no, no.. no one will put this up on Twitter. Okay? Promise me, no one. Nobody.. no one. This never happened." 🤣🤣🤣

YOUNG K: "Everyone's gonna put it up." 😅😅😂

JAE: "Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my reason to continue to do my best. So thank you guys so much. Alright!"

YOUNG K: "Before your tears dried up, let's take a picture!"

JAE: "No no no!"

YOUNG K: "Come here! (to Jae)

Is it okay if we all take a picture together? And remember this moment!!"

MY DAYs: "YEEEESS!"

YOUNG K: "Jae, seat in the middle! Seat in the middle!"

JAE: "Noo,noo.

Okay, guys. We just want to take a picture, 2. One with the banner, and the second one, without.

Alright guys, we're gonna take a picture with the banner. 1, 2, 3!"

©️ JYP Entertainment & PULP

JAE: "Alright one more picture but we wanna get a little bit more closer."

YOUNG K: "Let's do one line in the middle. Is that okay, Jae?"

JAE: "Yeah, let’s do that!

And without the banner.. Everybody show your beautiful smile! Okay, alright. 1, 2, 3!

Thank you. Thank you very much!"

©️ JYP Entertainment & PULP

JAE: "Thank you so much, Manila. You guys have been amazing tonight. We hope that you guys are not tired 'cause we got a couple more songs for you. You guys are ready? We need you to go crazy! You got some energy left? Manila, are you tired yet?!

Okay so Young K want to talk to you real quick this time." 💙💙💙

YOUNG K: "Nooo, you do it this time!"

JAE: "Alright guys, we're gonna make this super quick and super simple. I just need you to ready up. You guys ready?

Left side, are you ready?

Right side, are you ready?

EVERYBODY MAKE SOME NOISE!!!

Dance, Dance let's go!"

DAY6 was back on the extended (closer again to us!). They performed “Dance Dance,” and “Freely.”

JAE WAS TOO CLOSE. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. 😱😱😱

YOUNG K TOO. 😭😭😭

SUNGJIN. WHYYYY 😭😭😭

All energy for DAY6! Pouring our hearts out to cheer and sing along with the best band eveeer! ❤️❤️❤️

The flying chicken during Freely. So who said, ‘Chickens can’t fly?’ Jae proved it wrong. 🤣

Due to Wonpil and Dowoon’s instruments, they weren’t able to go to our side. 😥 But I still enjoyed the concert, big time!!

Freely made a big impact as the last song for the Gravity concert. Everyone was just jumping!!

Wonpil crying! 😭😭😭

JAE: “Thank you so much ladies and gentlemen. It has been an absolute pleasure to be with you all this evening.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!”

YOUNG K: “Thank you Manila! You guys are the reason why we never given up! WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP!!

Thank you. Thank you guys! It was a wonderful night.”

SUNGJIN: “Manila! Thank you so much!”

YOUNG K: “Have a goodnight! You guys are wonderful! Beautiful!”

JAE: “Thank you so much!”

Thank you so much DAY6! You will always be worth the wait and be our beautiful reason. Hoping to see you again for the third time soon and more and more! 💙

HI-TOUCH

Behind this photo was a girl so giddy, and happy that was able to have an autographed album from not only one, but all five of them! 😍 Expecting to have one random member to sign the album but it turns out all of them signed it. 😭😭😭 Besides the signed abum was another memorable experience - the Hi Touch. The Hi Touch was a closer moment with them. I remember the first member to have Hi Touch with was Sungjin. He said thank you and I said thank you so much. I think that was the only words I could think of during the whole Hi Touch event and the only thing I said to each DAY6 member. Anyway, Sungjin really made an eye to eye contact giving a warm and friendly feeling. He gave a brotherly and friendly aura. Next was Jae, he wore his eyeglasses and bent a little for the hi touch cause he was so tall!! Jae squeezed my hand a little that made my fangirl heart crazy. Eye to eye contact again that really made my heart melt cause Jae got me once he got nearer to our area during the concert. Also I remember his smile, and we exchanged our thank you's. Next was Young K, and all fan accounts saying he will really look straight at your eyes as if remembering you was so right! I even realized it better why fox was his "avatar." Young K's Hi Touch was capturing my heart that time because of the intense eye to eye contact and of course, exchanging our thank you's. Dowoon, MyDays baby, was next! He was really a fluffball and a shy boy. I can't believe he's just a year younger but so adorable! Last was Wonpil, looking at him was mesmerizing like taking your breath away... literally. Wonpil will make you breathless just looking at you. Unfortunately, videos nor photos were not allowed. Thus, my words and encounter with them during that time shall be a living proof and be always remembered. I was starstrucked from the 5 of them and they literally shoot my heart from the experience. A beautiful feeling to cherish and a reason to never give up in life as you said last November 23.

➡️ You may watch my vlog on Gravity in Manila last November 23, 2019 below. Parts of the video have muffled sound since I was unaware that I was covering the audio while holding my phone. 😅

You may lower or higher the volume of the audio and excuse my gibberish singing with DAY6. Hope you’ll enjoy watching it!

youtube

Also, don’t forget to like and subscribe to be updated on my future videos on K-pop concert and travels!

---

SETLIST

Best Part

Sing Me

I Wish

Somehow

Time of Our Life

I'm Serious

So Cool

Dowoon Solo

YoungK Solo

Out of My Mind

Feeling Good

How to Love

Sungjin Solo

For Me

Wanna Go Back

Shape of You (Ed Sheeran) + Like That Sun

Days Gone By + Treasure (Bruno Mars)

Get Lucky (Daft Punk) + Blood

Wonpil Solo *Ment

Colors

I Need Somebody

I Wait *Ment

Sweet Chaos

Headache

Jae Solo

WARNING

Shoot Me VCR

Cover

You Were Beautiful

Congratulations MyDay's Fan Project *Ment

Dance Dance

Freely

◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️ ◾️

💌 CONNECT WITH ME ↪️ Facebook ↪️ Instagram ↪️ Foodgram ↪️ Twitter ↪️ YouTube

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waveridden · 6 years ago

Text

FIC: versus the world

So the three of them are rebel agents, and not even important rebel agents. And they’re on a forest planet, where nobody will come looking for them. Blue’s not feeling great about their odds of getting help. (A Mynock/Bluebird roleswap, 2.4k)

AUcember || read on Ao3

They don’t crash-land on Myrkr, per se. Zero doesn’t like it when they call it a crash-landing, especially because the ship can still fly afterwards. But It’s the kind of landing that includes words like “brace yourself” and “it’s gonna be bumpy” and all those other things that give Blue a headache to think about for too long.

“I thought we had fuel,” Synox snaps, once the ship isn’t smoking anymore and they’ve determined that all the pieces of fuselage are still attached. “Didn’t you say we had fuel?”

“I said we had some fuel,” Zero says coolly. His feet are kicked up on the kitchen table, and his mask is blank, but Blue can hear the irritation in his voice. “There’s a chance that there’s a mechanical issue we overlooked, or a nav-computer glitch-”

“There’s not a nav-computer glitch,” Blue says, before he can stop himself. Synox, predictably, rolls his eyes, and Blue would guess that Zero is doing the same. “There’s not. I wouldn’t let there be.”

“The point remains that we’re stranded.” Zero stretches his arms along the booth-style seat. “And we need to figure out what to do now.”

The kitchen is… well, kitschy. It’s set up like a vintage diner, with booths instead of chairs and actual tile floors. Blue got it secondhand, swindled some poor bastard into thinking it was outdated and traded his ship for it and some creds. He’d been off-planet by the time the guy had realized that Blue had sold him a hunk of junk. It’s what he does: charms people into giving him better equipment. Most of that equipment goes straight to the rebellion, because they need what they can get, but this one had been Blue’s. Getting paid commission, he’d called it. Zero had rolled his eyes until he flew it for the first time. He’d stopped complaining after that.

“There are probably other ships on-planet,” Blue suggests. “We could try and find old ones and drain their fuel cells.”

Synox sighs and leans over, burying his head in his arms on the kitchen table. One of Zero’s feet swipes towards Synox’s head, but he doesn’t react at all. “This cannot be happening.”

“Okay, so Sy still can’t cope with things not going to plan,” Blue says. He means it as a thinking-out-loud thing, but Synox kicks his shin without looking. Hard. Blue has to bite his lip so he doesn’t yelp in pain. Synox doesn’t see it, but Zero definitely does, and Blue… is going to have to live with that. “Zero, what are our options?”

“Option one.” A number one pops up on Zero’s visor. “We call the rebellion, send out an SOS, see what they advise. Wait for orders.”

“I like option one,” Synox says, muffled by his arms.

Blue grimaces. “Option two?”

The one on Zero’s visor scrolls up, replaced by a two. “We try to find ships and drain their fuel cells. Dangerous, because we don’t know what’s on the planet. There could be an Imperial presence.”

Synox slides into the booth opposite Zero and props his chin up on the table. “You think we could beat Imperials in a fight?”

“On a good day, yes.”

“Is today a good day?”

“I don’t know, Sy, are you having a good day?”

Synox looks thunderous for a second, so Blue clears his throat. “I think we should look for fuel cells.”

“And we have to listen to you?” Synox snaps.

“My ship,” Blue says, which is kind of the ultimate trump card here, and they all know it. Blue wouldn’t call himself the captain or anything - he can’t even fly the ship, not manually - but he owns it, he keeps the navigational systems in pristine shape, and he’s the one who hired Zero to fly it. The Mynock, which he really needs to find a better name for, is all his, and that means this is his decision to make. “The rebellion is stretched thin as is. If we have the resources to solve this problem on our own, we’re going to solve it on our own.”

The rest goes unspoken: as competent as all of them are, they’re not a top priority. Blue is a conman, and he’s a damn good one, but he’s… unreliable, is the official term. The one they use in meetings to mean that he looks out for himself too much to be in any key role. And Synox is a trained Imperial strategist, but he refuses to do anything more than grunt work for the rebellion. Blue has his theories about why, but he mostly thinks that Synox just doesn’t want to fight any more wars. And who can blame the guy for that?

Zero, though, that’s a mystery. He’s a pilot, one of the best in the galaxy, and he’s a kriffing good bounty hunter, too. He could be in the center of the rebellion if he wanted to, but he’s always declined to move further up in the ladder. On his more sentimental days, Blue likes to think that’s because Zero doesn’t want to leave him. He’s never asked, though. He’s not sure he wants the answer.

Synox and Zero exchange a long look before they turn to Blue. Zero projects a raised eyebrow. “Alright, boss,” he says, “what’s the plan?”

There is one other ship that is definitely not Imperial and is definitely still functional. It’s hidden, and it’s hidden well at that, with all sorts of cloaking and signal masking and slicing. Whoever hid the ship is good. Blue is better.

It’s about two klicks away, close enough that they can walk without having to strain the Mynock’s fuel cells any further. Synox stays behind to guard the ship, leaving Zero and Blue to make their way through the forests of Myrkr. Zero insists on walking in front of Blue the whole time, which would be a nice gesture if he didn’t include the words “so you don’t get lost.”

“I don’t get lost,” Blue- listen, he’s not going to say he’s whining, but he’s definitely closer to whining than he gets most days. “I know where we’re going.”

“Me too,” Zero says, and waves a hand in front of his helmet. Which is a valid point. Blue has done a lot of the programming on Zero’s helmet. The navigations, the communications, the data interface, they’re all top notch. Zero can get them where they’re going. That’s why Blue hired him to begin with.

The walk is mostly silent, which means that Blue spends it cataloguing details about the planet around them. When they get to the coordinates that Blue had narrowed down, it’s an empty clearing, but it takes Blue thirty seconds to slice into the ship and disable its cloaking. It’s a small cruiser, not the kind of thing that you’d want to live on forever, but it looks like it’s been there for some time.

Zero puts a hand on the hilt of his vibrosword. “How long is this going to take?”

“Depends if there’s anyone on the ship.” Blue adjusts the mini-datapad on his wrist. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

Blue opens the ship’s hatch. It’s barely halfway open when he hears a sound that he can’t quite place, a pseudo-electronic whoosh. He’s barely registered the noise and the glow of something red before Zero grabs his shoulder and wrenches back, hard. Blue stumbles back, and looks up.

There’s a woman, standing in the open hatch of the ship. She’s short and pale - Dathomirian, he thinks, although he can’t be sure - and she has a lightsaber pointed at Zero. Zero, who is standing in front of Blue, vibrosword at the ready.

“So here’s how this is going to work,” the woman says, casual as can be. “You’re going to leave me on my ship and go on your merry way, and I’m not going to skewer you.” She tilts her head to meet Blue’s eyes, and Zero shifts uneasily. “Either of you. Does that sound fair?”

“Hey now,” Blue says, even over his heart pounding in his ears, because there is a lightsaber involved and he’s never even seen one of those in person. “We’re not looking for trouble-”

“Blue,” Zero growls, “not the time.”

“You should listen to your friend,” the woman says. “I’m not feeling particularly patient today, not that I’m ever patient with people who try to invade my home.”

Blue lifts his hands slowly. “No home invasion, ma’am, we’re just a couple of lost guys looking for fuel.”

“On Myrkr?”

He flashes the sharpest smile he can. “We’re very lost.”

“I’m getting that impression.”

“So if you could direct us to a refuel station, or someone else we can steal fuel from-”

“You were planning on stealing from us?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say this went as planned.”

“Adnau,” Zero says, sounding pained, and that’s enough to give Blue legitimate pause. True first names are a codeword between them, a sign that something is really, truly wrong. Zero must think that this is serious danger, if he’s pulling that out of his arsenal.

The woman opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, a new voice from inside the ship says, “Aunt Aava?”

Blue frowns. That sounds like a kid.

The woman’s face contorts into something between frustration and fear. “Not now, Tamlin.”

“What’s happening?”

“Go to your room, Tama,” Aava says through gritted teeth. “It’s not-”

“Are they looking for us?”

“Should we be looking for you?” Blue asks without thinking. It’s a stupid question, he knows it as soon as he’s out of his mouth, and the woman’s eyes drift towards him. Along with the blade of her lightsaber. “I mean that in the least malevolent way possible. We’re not with the Empire or anything.”

From the edge of the hatch, a tiny head peeks out. It is a kid, and a pretty young one at that. His skin is blanched white, except for black tattoos covering half his face, and he has little nubby horns. Aava makes a pained face, but the kid ignores it, searching around until his eyes land on Blue. “Do you think the Empire’s bad?”

“I’m not their biggest fan,” Blue answers cautiously. “In fact, you could say I’m going up against them.” Zero coughs, and Blue rolls his eyes. “I mean, we are.”

“We don’t like the Empire either.” Tamlin looks up at Aava. “Right?”

Aava sighs. “No, Tama, we don’t like the Empire. We also don’t like people who come knocking on our door to steal fuel.”

“We’re not going to steal it now that we know you’re here,” Blue points out. “Right, Zero?”

“I hate you,” Zero says with feeling. “I hate everything about this situation, and I just want you to know that.”

Aava’s eyes flick to Zero. “You’re his babysitter?”

“Yes,” Zero says, like Blue knew he would, even though he’s not. “And you have a nephew?”

“Who I’m trying to keep safe from the Empire.”

“What a coincidence.” Zero sounds like he’s smiling. Maybe he’s even projecting it on his helmet, judging by the way Tamlin’s eyes widen. “I’m trying to keep mine safe too.”

“I’m doing alright,” Blue protests. “Besides, we all have common ground here, we’re trying to stay away from the Empire! If anything we should team up.”

“Team up?” Zero repeats incredulously. “What, we should just take them on our ship, right back to the rebellion?”

“The rebellion?” Aava repeats sharply. Zero winces. “You two are with the rebellion?”

Zero doesn’t say anything. Tamlin is staring at them wide-eyed, and Aava is looking at them like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. Blue glances between them all, furiously running the calculations. She must either love the rebellion or hate them, for a reaction that strong. And judging by the desperate edge to her voice, the way she’s blocking off most of the hatch so that Tamlin stays mostly hidden, she needs help. The rebellion helps people.

Blue makes a snap call and steps forward. Zero throws out an arm to keep him back, and Blue lets him, but he still stands by Zero’s side, looking up at Aava. “We can give you safe passage on our ship. We just need your fuel so that we can get off planet, and we can take you anywhere you want to go.”

Aava narrows her eyes, looking between the two of them. And then she looks at Tamlin, and all of the tension radiating off of her melts away as she meets his eyes. “What do you say, buddy?”

Tamlin chews on his lip for a second. “Will I have time to pack?”

“Yes, you will.”

“And you’re gonna be with me?”

“Every step of the way.”

He nods. “Then I wanna be a rebel!”

Aava deactivates her lightsaber, and Zero lets out a breath. She looks amused. “You wait out here for fifteen minutes. If we get out here and you’re gone, we can find you, and we can make you regret leaving.”

“No leaving,” Zero says. “Fifteen minutes.”

Aava nods and disappears into the ship, and Zero finally drops his vibrosword and turns to Blue. He’s not projecting anything on his visor, which is somehow even scarier than any anger he could be projecting. “What were you thinking? She could’ve killed us in a heartbeat, they don’t give lightsabers to just anyone!”

“I was thinking that these people needed help,” Blue says, surprising even himself. And he was thinking about children, trying to get away from the Empire. About the way Aava looked at Tamlin. “And besides, you don’t think it would be cool to have a Force user on our ship? That’s a good thing to have on our side.”

Zero’s shoulders slump, but Blue can’t tell whether it’s in disappointment or in relief. “You’re unbelievable,” he mutters, and Blue… doesn’t know what to make of that, either. “And you have to be the one to tell Sy we adopted a kid.”

“That’s fair,” Blue mutters, and Zero flashes a smirk up on his helmet. “But we’re the rebellion. We help people.”

Zero looks at Blue for a long moment before shaking his head, slowly. “I guess we do,” he says softly. “And we’re going to help them.”

#campaign podcast #star wars campaign #evil campaign #campaign fic #waveridden.fic #aucember18 #WELCOME TO THE MONTH OF DECEMBER KIDS!!!#i am posting this from my phone please let me know if formatting is hinky

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real-estate-virtual-assistants · 5 years ago

Photo

Administrative Virtual Professionals

One of the keys to scaling is to remove yourself from the administrative activities of your business and to focus your time on growing your company. Having a VP tackle operations and administrative outcomes for you can go far beyond what a traditional assistant does, like answering phones and keeping your calendar. There are many more ways a VP can help you administratively. Here are some concrete examples of my favorite things administrative VPs do for our clients.

Lead Management

Figure 18, from early 2018, shows what MyOutDesk has in place so that sales and marketing can know how we have handled a hotline, a web chat, or an email campaign lead coming into our CRM.

When someone comes to MyOutDesk who is interested in working with us, we have a script and a completely outlined lead process in hand. While all salespeople need to embrace those standard operating procedures, they don’t necessarily need to be the ones who own those documents; you could have an administrative VP who acts as that owner and keeper of these very important procedures and process. You will be amazed at how having someone to do this will keep you from getting bogged down with the sales side of your business.

Lead Reporting

One opportunity many business owners overlook is taking advantage of all the reporting and business analytics virtual professionals can provide. Here is a report prepared for one of our clients. In it, you can see a lot of information: where revenue came from during this reporting period, how many deals were closed, what expenses there were, and what conversion rates looked like. Numbers like these can be prepared for you so you can know where to best spend your marketing dollars and how you can be most effective in closing deals. (See figure 19.)

Net Promoter Scores

Another thing your VPs can do for you is to keep track of net promoter scores. Whenever we have asked clients, “How likely are you to refer col- leagues and friends to our service?” and the answer is “Very likely,” or, “Not likely,” we know that those who say “not likely” are clients we need to focus on. They are, in a way, raising their hands and saying, “Hey, we are not 100 percent happy,” and finding out why yields useful informa- tion. A VP can track both the “likely” responders and the “unlikely,” over time, to see if the same issues keep coming up and to report back to you about how more customers can become likely to give you a referral. Many companies don’t have a quality score around their service or product, and having an administrative professional to survey clients, employees, and vendors is a great way to get feedback you can use to implement long- term structural changes.

Recruitment

I’m an employer, and we have thousands of folks who work for MyOutDesk. I know from experience that sorting through all the applications we get is a big challenge and not necessarily the best use of my time as an entrepre- neur. We have had years when we had over thirty thousand applicants for only five hundred jobs. As you would imagine, the process of narrowing the field to the two thousand or so viable candidates we would want to interview is daunting. As a business owner, it is your job to interview and find talent, but posting jobs and screening the multitudes are not. This is something that an administrative professional can handle for you, when you give that person a clear idea of what your criteria are. This will save you time and energy while allowing you to focus on revenue-producing activities.

Agile Project Management

Agile project management is a great way to use your virtual administrative professionals. Following is an example of a spreadsheet that could repre- sent project management for anyone on your team. On the left side, you can score the importance of the task, starting at 1,000 and going down so that the highest tasks go to the top and the lowest go to the bottom. For each task, you can assign objectives, due dates, the person(s) who will handle it, documentation needed and completion dates. These can all be housed in one spot.

If you are running a big organization and you have as many events as MyOutDesk does (for example, we might have a birthday party this week, a client event next week, and a team-building event coming up next month). All the related details have to be tracked as a project. There are the flights, the hotels, the venue details and schedules…and all of this can be managed by VPs. Many of our clients and VPs use the Basecamp app to run complex, multifunctional projects. Some still use a simple Excel spreadsheet, like the one I share here. Others use a kind of software that is specific to project management. Whatever you use, you can give it to a virtual professional to run it for you.

Performance Reporting

Performance reporting is another role that virtual administrative pro- fessionals can assume. Here is an example from several years ago of our incoming leads, where they came from, and how many converted across different departments. A VP compiled that information and maintained it over time so we could have access to that data.

There are many different access points VPs can have for this kind of data. If you have a phone system, there is a back end for that phone sys- tem from which data can be pulled. If you have a CRM, there is a back end for that from which you can extract how many leads came in and what the activity looks like. If you have some sort of delivery software in which you are running projects, you can pull that data out of the back end. If you have financials, you can tie the operations of your business back to those financials. These are all examples of performance reporting. A VP will have to be given resources to do this; this person won’t be able to jump straight in and know how to do it. But once it is set up, and you have introduced the process, your VP will be able to maintain it for you and report back in a consistent format.

Customer Support

In chapter 3, I mentioned Chris, a VP at MyOutDesk who has been sup- porting our client Knolly William’s technology company. The technology is a CRM. A few years ago, Knolly hadn’t been sure what he was going to do with his tech company. He was going to either ditch it or move forward with it. It had an inexpensive price point, so there were a lot of potential users, and it was a recurring source of revenue for him. The problem was that he was tired of working on it himself as a business owner. I told him I could get him somebody to help.

That’s where Chris came in. He is the customer support touch point for all inquiries, sales, and operations. The only things he doesn’t handle are speaking engagements, writing about the CRM, and working with the tech people to maintain and develop the technology. Knolly does all of that. But Chris handles everything else, from onboarding to helping someone move his or her CRM from an old system. Chris feels like a partner to Knolly, and he loves his work. He is a great example of an administrative VP who has made a business come alive.

Schedule your Double My Business Strategy Session today and find our how a MyOutDesk real estate virtual assistant can support you to boost your business with the highest quality virtual assistant services available!

Original Story: https://www.myoutdesk.com/administrativevp/

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wellamarke · 7 years ago

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better than nothing

humans challenge, week 4, day 3: sequels this is a sequel to @turned-her-brain’s fic ’better than human’

The buildings they were supposed to be checking were marked with an ’S’. Karen wasn’t sure what the notation stood for, but she suspected it might be ’S’ for ‘Safehouse’, and the thought of that repulsed her. The fact that her superiors were willing to use that terminology - to admit that those they were hunting were conscious beings seeking safety - and still order that their places of refuge were raided, so they could be captured and contained en masse… it was barbaric. Monstrous. Ironically, it was inhuman.

The one saving grace was that Karen, as Detective Inspector, got to call the shots within her team. She’d paired off Sergeants Bryant and O'Neil, and sent them east. There were two ’S’ buildings in that direction, but both were set back from the main roads, giving the synths a chance to take back alleys to evade capture.

She’d sent Syed and Hadley back to the barn they’d ransacked yesterday, telling them she’d received a tip-off that the runaway synths had returned there. “They probably think it’s the last place we’ll check today,” she’d said, with a smirk. Doubtless her colleagues thought she was mocking the fugitives for being desperate and stupid. Little did they know that they were the ones being played. They’d find nothing there, except the scene of their own B&E the day before.

With her section of the taskforce thus deployed, Karen had the run of the rest of the buildings herself. She would cover as many as she could, directing the synths she found there to more secure locations, and supplying them with what she’d started calling “Misdirectives” - coloured contact lenses, plasters, skin packs she’d remodelled to look like scars, insect bites and burns. Any of those little human features, the ones people didn’t expect to see on synths, even now. With Sam’s help, she’d programmed add-on mods that would give a synth an uneven gait, a droopy eyelid, a stutter, or a smoker’s cough. Perceived imperfections were brilliant cover, even for synths who weren’t used to playing organic.

Perhaps most devious of all was the bag of “Synthie And Proud” badges she carried around with her. There were still humans with ASOD out there, walking around pretending to be synths. Lots of them did it to show solidarity to the cause, these days, as a protest against what the government was doing to the tens of thousands of newly-conscious beings. A side effect of their activism was that it allowed synths who were bad at pretending to blend in: instead of looking like synths doing bad impressions of humans, they looked like humans doing good impressions of synths. It wasn’t foolproof, obviously - some of the ones she helped would still be captured later on. But Karen was working as hard as she could from the inside, letting whoever she found go free.

It was better than nothing. That was what she had to tell herself.

She parked her car at the foot of a road where supposedly there were three safehouses to “neutralise”. She fetched her bag of supplies from the boot, and swung it over her shoulder as she approached the first house. Karen knocked at the door, composing her features into an expression that was kind, but tinged with urgency. She wasn’t here to say that there was no danger. She was just here to prove that she wasn’t it.

In the split second before the door opened, she wished for the thousandth time that she wasn’t the only officer on the squad working alone. For all intents and purposes, she was engaging in police corruption, and Pete would have been with her every step of the way.

But there was no use thinking of that now. Work and Sam, those were the two areas she had to concentrate on, the only things that mattered going forward. Keeping Sam safe and covering her tracks.

The door opened, just a crack. “Who’s there?” said a voice, low but not overly cautious.

“I’m a friend,” Karen said. “This is a warning. The police know you’re here. You need to mask your communications better. Will you let me come in? We’ll attract attention from the street, talking like this.”

She paused, waiting for the door to open. It didn’t, at first. Instead, the voice behind the door said, suddenly incredulous, “…Karen?”

It wasn’t much to go by, but she ran the syllables through her audio-match system, and recognition hit her in a wave of relief. “Fred,” she said. “Yes. It’s me.”

He opened the door, and she hurried inside, not really looking at him properly until the door was closed. They stood before each other for a moment, staring in joint disbelief.

“What are you doing here?” Karen asked. “Last time we met, you were going to track down Edwin Hobb…”

“I did,” he said. “But he’s under government surveillance. The project he was running was disbanded, and he’s forbidden from working with synthetics ever again. I read the report; he’d get years in prison, if they ever found evidence that he was back in the game.” Fred answered Karen’s unspoken question with ease. “I did what I set out to do - I got all his files, and I know everything he knew. But talking to him personally was out of the question, so I changed my mission.”

“To what?”

“An antidote,” Fred said, mysteriously. “A way of disabling the changes he made to my root code, without the hours of reprogramming it took Silas. If anyone else ever tries to use Hobb’s key on another synth, I can undo it in seconds.”

Karen’s eyes widened. “They are using it. A version of it, anyway. The police are rounding up every synth they can find and putting them in containment cells, where they’re all… they call it 'subdued’. It’s the same as what happened to you. They’re still awake - nobody’s worked out how to undo that without a straightforward massacre - but the synths can’t act of their own accord.”

Fred looked pained, but he nodded. “That makes sense. Some of Hobb’s files had been accessed before I got to them, edited by another user. They must have used his key as a basis for what they wanted to do.”

“Will your antidote work on the new version?”

“It might. I’d have to try it out.”

She looked around. The house they were in was dark and sparsely furnished, the wallpaper peeling off in strips. A blonde-haired synth was watching them from a doorway at the end of the hall. Karen turned back to Fred. “This is your base?”

“Today, it is. I’ve been going to as many safehouses as I can find, installing the antidote. None of these synths will be subdued if they’re ever captured. As long as the changes to Hobb’s original aren’t too drastic.”

Karen nodded. “Good. That’s good. Between the two of us, we can hold back as much as we can.”

“What have you been doing?” he asked her. “Giving out warnings?”

“Supplies, too,” she said. She gave him a brief overview of her self-adapted job description. “If they find me out, so be it,” she added. “I’m never going to help them enslave us all. Even if they don’t call it that, that’s where it’s leading to. The government aren’t issuing any decisions until they think all the synths are in holding, but it’s pretty clear that they’re not going to let them go free any time soon.” She paused, narrowed her eyes. “I saw Mia, a few weeks ago. The day before the mass awakening. Not to speak to, but she was there at the place where Qualia were keeping the early anomalies. Have you spoken to any of the others?”

Fred looked past her, suddenly distant. “No,” he said. “They never came back for me. Like you said before, they left me, and I think I’m more use to the cause on my own. Whatever their role was in this, they didn’t want to share it.”

Karen felt a surge of sympathy go through her. Her own words from four months earlier echoed in her head: some family. Perhaps she’d been overly harsh that day, wanting Fred to share some of the feelings of abandonment she’d been struggling with her whole life. “You can’t know they didn’t come back for you,” she said, softly. “Maybe they did, and you were already gone.”

“Maybe.” Fred didn’t sound overly hopeful. “I expect I’ll run into them, eventually. They can explain it all then.” He looked back at her. “What about you? The last time we met, you spoke of a human man…”

“He’s gone,” said Karen, clipped and cold.

“It didn’t work out?”

Karen felt suddenly frozen in place, the hard rationality she’d built up around the entire topic telling her to brush off his question, while a deeper, softer part of her wanted fervently to share it. If she couldn’t talk to Fred - the only member of the 'family’ she had ever developed any closeness to - who could she talk to?

“We were happy, for a while,” she said. “I called him the day you left, and it was the right decision. We were—”

What was the word for what she and Pete had been? They had never dated, in the proper sense of the word. They had skipped past all those preliminary stages; they’d known what they wanted. It had been so easy.

“We were together,” Karen finished. “But not anymore.” She paused, forced herself to form the words, short and fast and horribly true. “He died.”

Fred’s curious expression faded into something far more serious. “I’m sorry.”

Karen nodded, acknowledging it.

“How did it happen?”

“There was a conscious synth at the Qualia facility,” Karen said, keeping her voice as level as she could. “She wanted revenge for how they’d been treating them. She threatened one of the scientists, and Pete was trying to talk her down, but… she killed them both.”

“You were there?”

“Yes.”

“It must have been awful.”

Karen forbore to comment on that. “The more the humans mistreat us, the more often things like that will happen. We have to be careful with your key, Fred. The ones who are angry… We can’t just turn them loose. I agree that they have a right to be free like all the rest, but do we want to be the ones who start the war?”

“The humans started the war,” said Fred. “We’re just defending our kind.”

Karen gave a sad half-smile. “I used to think we weren’t a kind at all.”

“But you do now? What changed?”

“Lots of things. Pete. But also… I have a son.”

It’s the first time she’s said that word in anyone’s hearing but Sam’s.

“He was made by Qualia, and he’s a child in body as well as mind. Somehow, for him, I can see the point in fighting for our existence.”

Fred returned her small smile. “We all need something.”

“Who do you have?”

He was silent. Then, “I have my purpose. For now, it’s enough.”

“When it isn’t,” Karen said, gently, “Find someone. Me and Sam, or Mia and the others. Or someone new. Don’t be alone.”

Without warning, Fred stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around Karen, embracing her tightly. She found herself hugging him back.

“I thought about you often,” said Fred. “Of all you did for me. Had I known you were suffering, I would have reached out…”

“I might not have let you,” Karen admitted. “But I’m glad we found each other eventually.”

“So am I.”

#humanschallenge #c4 humans #hmmmmm #not sure what I was doing here but I loved that you paired them up so I had to have a play :D #karen voss #fred elster

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canaryatlaw · 8 years ago

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Well, the good news is I managed to drag my ass out of bed at the appropriate time today, so that's a win. Alarm went off at 10:10, got ready and went down to school to meet up with mentee number 1 for lunch. We went to the little salad place across from school I've never actually been to because I can't really eat salads (most salad dressings bother me, and I'm not eating plain vegetables because fuck that shit) but they also have wraps and such so I got one of those and had the dressing on the side and it was pretty good, despite definitely being "healthy" with like a whole wheat tortilla and such (so not a fan). It was good though, we just talked about life and dealing with work and everything in between, and how things change second semester. After we went back across the street to school and I dropped my stuff in the PAD office before heading down the street and hopping on the bus for a quick trip to the gym. I was meeting mentee number 3 at 2:40 when their class let out and it was like 12:50 at that point, so I had enough time to get a decent work out in at least. Did the arms and legs machines for a little, then the abdominal ones which of course I tried not to strain myself too much on because I'm going to the kickboxing gym tomorrow and I don't want to injure myself and not be able to do that. Then I did like 25 minutes on the exercise bike with intermittent periods of going crazy fast to match whatever music I had on just for kicks. Around 2:10 I headed back so I had enough time to get there and everything. Hung out in the PAD office for a few and helped one of the girls on the school mock trial team run through a witness direct she was trying to memorize (as the witness). After that my mentee showed up, and we walked down the street a bit to find a place, we were looking for a specific bakery but ended up finding one that had delicious looking sweets in the window and just wound up going there. It was a cute little place, they had breakfast food and sandwiches and "specialty juices" (that were like $7 ffs) and some very nice desserts so I got an earl grey and lavender cupcake that was delicious and she got a brownie and she basically just vented to me about everything going on because she was feeling so stressed out and I totally do not blame her. Apparently they're still switching stuff up in LARC and the profs still aren't communicating well, like they'll tell one kid something in office hours that contradicts what they said in class and everyone just ends up confused, it's a mess. So I let her vent and gave her my best advice, and told her I could hook her up with a family law contact for the interview she has to do for their "preparing to practice" program they make the 1L's do which is well intentioned but executed very poorly (and I confessed to actually faking that interview using a colleague of my dad's, lol). But I think overall it helped and she was able to calm down a bit, just you know take one day at a time and all that, and it will get better as you go on, and property just sucks for everybody and use quimbee because if it wasn't for them I would've royally flunked property (but instead ended up with a B+). So that was good I think. Went back to school and hung out in the PAD office some more (it's basically just my default at school place since it's in the lounge anyway). I tried to switch some things around in my mock trial direct and cross based on the feedback we got from the scrimmage this weekend, and sent it to my coach for feedback. I asked her about responding to the other side's motion in limines (pre-trial motions) especially on the hearsay objections to the texts because the exception they had previously listed only applies when the declarant is unavailable and I don't want to try and use that in front of a judge who's gonna realize that and just think I'm a fucking moron. She wasn't super helpful at first but I emailed her back with a more explicit question regarding it so hopefully that will help. Sigh. Ate some more of my wrap before class (I only ate half at lunch) then went to crim pro. We were spending the whole period on the Strickland opinion, which is the basis for the ineffective assistance of counsel standard (or appealing on the grounds that your defense attorney sucked). I was already very familiar with the standard thanks to the undisclosed podcast following the Adnan Syed case as they'd discussed it thoroughly. It was an interesting discussion though, and we for once actually talked about the case and discussed that parts of it, so that was nice. I did raise my hand once and of course referenced the serial case because it was on point lol. Our prof did a good job of explaining her opinion and why she wasn't a fan of the opinion (she's an appellate defender so she deals with a lot of these cases) and basically said she thinks the standard should be if counsel was ineffective and whether it was harmless error or not, not if counsel was ineffective and if the outcome was prejudiced by that, which is the current standard and is much higher. It made sense to me being that I think criminal appeals are already way too hard to win, and this opinion definitely showed that. So yeah, it was a good class. She let us out a little before class which was nice. Went home and watched Arrow, which was a curious episode. It largely centered around the gun control debate and was definitely the most political the show has gotten, although the conclusion was basically placating to both sides by saying we should have common sense regulations that don't restrict freedoms (without specifying what those are because that would cause more infighting). The plot was interesting enough though, if kind of overdone for its type. The last flashback scene and then the follow up between Rene and Curtis bugged me though, because it was a terrible misrepresentation of the child welfare system. And like, I'll be the first person to tell you the system has a TON of problems, but you don't need to invent more problems for it that don't exist. Like pretending a kid would get taken because of a single home invasion is bullshit, without other compelling evidence of the parent's actions (and in this case those of the surviving parent, so the mother's alleged drug use wouldn't have factored in) that would not happen. The same goes for them supposedly not letting Rene see his daughter, that's just straight up false because unless there has been some seriously disturbing violence (or if the kid doesn't want to, but that didn't seem to be the case here) parents are ALWAYS allowed visitation, in fact it's a major factor in deciding whether the kid will get returned home or not, and not visiting your kid is a great way to make sure they stay in the system forever. The same goes for his quip about "counseling." If a kid is in the system, they have to provide as many services as needed for reunification- which means he would absolutely be offered counseling and likely soooo much more. And then the end when Curtis was like "my lawyer friend is gonna help you get your kid back" I'm sorry, but no. If you're not visiting your kid and doing your damn services, there's no lawyer in the world who can get you your kid back. It's that simple really. There's nothing a lawyer can do if you're not gonna do your shit. It doesn't work like that. So all of that bugged me and I'm sure this was an unnecessary rant but you all know how false legal bullshit like that on tv shows bugs me so here we are. And yeah, that was pretty much my day. Tomorrow is work, then kickboxing, then small group. Should be good, and until then I'm gonna get some sleep. Goodnight dudes. Sweet dreams.

#daily journal #February 2017

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gracielarousseau-blog · 7 years ago

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Processing & Components Technology Articles, Getting Guides, Reviews & How.

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thehyperspacesystem · 7 years ago

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Things about Cameron and some sys origins

M has been actually doing her therapy homework. I have been reading her log entries since I needed to figure out why I was suddenly here after a couple of days.

She was asked last counciling session to pick her favourite episode of Star Trek Voyager because she mentioned watching it as a kid.

I am going to put the rest of this behind a (Read More) because it is super long. I think only sysmembers who are doing the “Getting our host to not like freak out completely about us” stage of the journey will be interested in this.

Some notable things she wrote:

I really relate to Seven of nine’s Character. I remember how I learned to disociate. I was 6 years old. I was bullied at school endlessly. I was finally allowed tv… I was watching I think robocop. At some point about 9… Cameron?? is… actually… that first…. I don’t remember what I even called them at age six. at some point around 7 or 8 I was actually kept home from school an entire year. at about age 9 we started to hit the bullies back. and I started getting into trouble at school I was told…. don’t hit them whatever they do to you… and i’d already found I didn’t really even have to be there for school… like sure my body was there.. I have written about this in song lyrics “the glass wall surrounds me… looking out… can’t break through / all alone / no connection. “ (checj the actual lyrics). I had blamed that on Asperger Syndrome of course. Noooo fucking way!????

I know.. it’s not very coherent, but she doesn’t do co at all well. For some context, us probably having Aspergers (but never actually being like.. address or even professionally dx’d) was used as like a kinda free pass to invalidate and make us always wrong when we were young.

M still doesn’t trust her own perception of the world pretty much at all because of that.

We did get an Offical dx of Asperger Syndrome when we were 16, but that was in the context of trying to get HRT (our body is trans, which I am not going to talk about here - that isn’t my story). The dx was pretty much given in the context of being an excuse to make us wait until we were 18 (which fortunately did not happen, we may not be alive today if we’d had to wait that long).

There was another entry about memories of when we were about 3.

Another one… I was walking down the [redacted] shops … was still lived in the shed at the place my family called “the farm”, although nothing actually grew there except for gorse. I remember being asked what kind of ice cream I wanted or something like that. Me: “We want that one.” Mum:”Who’s we?” I felt embarrassed(??? cannot name emotion… I will have to get one of those charts abd try again) and I was careful never to say that again. I understood that I was referring to myself. I could walk on my own and it was a distance. I know from external info that I moved into [redacted] at the age of four so that puts a bound on my ages. I really wanna know who “we” is too like really. Did I have an immaginary friend or something? My gut feeling is that it was referring to myself like “we are borg” (but I would not see that until 10 years later). Strange.

she is referring to… our bio mother, not step mom. I have nothing nice to say about her so I won’t. (I do not speak for the whole system here).

M also wrote she was going to stop there becasue she read my notes about what we call “L1” which is the most hidden layer on our sysmaps. I also called this place “The Abbyss”. It is what you’d expect from that name.

When I try to access that stuff it is usually a total out of body experience and it can take me to some pretty scary places. Monsters.. Razor Sharp alien grass. A dead desolate world full of erupting volcanones and these flying monsters that look like Terrodatyls which breathe fire.

Anything that tries to hurt me there is usually stopped by an egg shapped barrier around my body that looks a bit like force feilds in star trek. If I am feeling vulnerable, I can get “kicked out” back into my body.. or sometimes that just happens.

It’s reactive to my emotional state though, so I have learned that if I can accept whatever scary stuff is there… I some how pass through that stage and can access what is actually hidden there.

Even then.. still lots of physical effects, headache.. random pains.. being exhausted… accessing that stuff. So I try not to.

[readacted] wants to pick out my favorite st voyager episode. Lol after thinking they were gone soon as I try to settle on a single episode… the fragmentation feels are back again. I don’t think letting “Sixteen” pick hers… and then me pick mine… is going to fly. Anyways it’s pretty clear now that Cameron is actually based off of a mix of The Borg, Robocop, Data from TNG, Seven of Nine and a more shitty portion of my life experiences and Cameron took literally just her name from TSSC because she liked the “We’re not built to Cruel.” and ballet scenes. There were a bunch of names before that but I don’t know them. I still dunno the story behind sweetie at all. For now sweetie appeared to serve no purpose other than to stop me from figuring out what really happened. Sweetie is alleged to exist by [redacted] and [redacted]… but I don’t know much right now.

I am really very impressed. M is doing really well.

We still have 4 or 5 weeks to wait until we can see an actual psychologist. This counciling is meant to keep us going OK until then.

I know this is hardly the ideal way to do system work, but it’s the reality we have right now and i’d rather have M doing some of that the “wrong™” way than going back to suppression.

Suppressing things in general doesn’t work very well as a coping strategy.

edit: Shit the formatting on the journal pastes got all messed up. I will fix it later.. I have a really bad headache (probably a switch thing. With M it is always a “hard” switch since she resists everything so much).

-Sixteen.

#actually dissociative #cptsd therapy #ossd1a #about cameron #system origins

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oyjyms · 8 years ago

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Dugo, Pawis At Pera (Blood, Sweat & Money) Part 1

Sorry, long post coming! This school year 2016-2017, Dent 2 Proper, is indeed one heck of a school year I did not see coming. Although, to be fair my higher year friends told me that it was gonna be the toughest year, I was still not convinced. I still hoped that they exaggerated it for us, just to prepare us from what's ahead. And honestly, I always had this kind of "beginner's luck" ish way back in pre dentistry and dent 1 wherein a subject is a friend to me. But boy was I wrong big time! It was the "transition" year and it was damn hard! Blood. I had a lot of wounds this school year. Sometimes I cut myself because of the carvers/cutter. Lot of times, I burnt my skin because we had to use a hot boiling water and a torch. Blood was definitely shed that school year. 1st sem was a heck of a ride at first. I guess the trouble for me the 1st sem was adjusting and of course: money. I know money is a sensitive topic but I wanna share here my dentistry life in all honesty so I just wanna say that I'm not saying that this applies to everyone in my batch, just me and this is my brutal honesty on how I really survived the Dent 4 life (NOPE NOT DENTISTRY YET). Money is a big part of Dentistry. Each dentistry student knows that. And I know my CIs are just simply following the system so when I refer to them, I meant: the system. So here it goes. When I summed up the total of the instruments I was going to buy, I was very shocked! It reached 20k! Shookt! And that was just the 1st month! I know my parents are not rich and I already know that my tuition is already a burden. So I cried. Yes I cried with that calculator in my hand. It was too big and I was very scared because I know this sem will reach 30k or more. And the next sem will be the same which is like 60k whole year exclusive of the dorm and tuition! Imagine that. So I called my mom, told her about this and she reassured me, told me that it was going to be okay. They will find money but it may take time. I was a bit behind the deadline when I bought my requirements. I don't like the fact that some subjects have deadlines on the requirements that are not yet needed. I know it's for assurance that we will have materials earlier rather than rushing and ending up with no stocks left but it's really inconsiderate (but it turned out it was just one subject that told us we would get demerits for it). When that happens, I borrow from the other section to surpass the checking then just return the materials afterwards (sorry doc!). I remember tweeting: So what to show to my CIs tom? I think just my poor soul. But thank God for friends who helped me during the checking of requirements. I did asked my parents about it again and again and I know I was too much already but I did't know it that time because "deadline" on the requirements were really important to me at that time. Stupid Jyms that thinks money grows on trees. So with that spent on materials (which are also investments since we can use it until we die please, I hope so!), the pressure was on. It was my first time to be in a Restorative Dentistry class (the one where you have pasta ba), it is and still is the hardest subject for me. We still use the amalgam filling (silver pasta) so we have to make the conventional way of doing a cavity prep on our typhodonts which is good because we can train our dexterity. But boy it wasn't easy at all. I was way behind schedule. It was very hard for me to practice my dexterity at first because honestly, I was never so gentle. I even slap people sometimes specially when I laugh (which I really tried to stop doing bc it was immature). Fact is, I am not gentle so when I did the prep, the preps rather, I was faced with a lot of "repeat"s from my CIs. In all honesty to God, I did so many repeats that I had to sit in during the other section's class just to catch up on our midterm assignments so that I could get my midterm grade! But towards finals (which was kinda quick) I really was speeding up, my preps were becoming better? I'm not sure or the CIs are becoming more kind? Not sure but I knew I was doing something right and then I was done with Resto 1 with no extensions in the laboratory. But the lab was not the only problem in Resto, the lecture exams were the worst. It kills me all the time! Our exams are what the higher year tell us are like the board exams. Multiple choice. Before, I didn't believe that all the choices could be the answers, I just directly answer on my answer sheet. Hay bugo braggy jyms. But when Resto lec exams came, it was true! They were all good answers! It was so hard! The answers were all ish right and I had to pick the most true/except/false. Damn was it hard! So when we got our midterm grades, most of us failed, including me! I got 3.1! But when our CI gave me that, I was smiling afterwards because I really almost passed! Hahah! That's just half of 1st sem. Here are what added to the stress during the 1st sem: Fixed Prosthetic Dentures: I failed the lab final exam, I was so sad at that time because I always always pass FPD lab works and when finals came I tried my best, but I failed. Of all the time I could fail, it was on the finals lab exam! When I saw my grade, I was shocked! I never received that kind of grade before in my lab works and I really tried so hard. So I went in the bathroom to breathe and when my friend asked me "are you okay?", I told her I failed the lab exam and after I said it, a tear came down from my face. It was the 1st time I cried because of my grades in college. I really didn't expect to cry. I was so shocked I wiped it immediately, looked myself in the mirror and I was still crying so I went to the stall before letting it all go down and made the sob face that looks like I tasted all the bitterness in life. Haha! Yup! I wouldn't let my friend see that face lol so I wiped it all and reassured my friend that I was okay. And I did looked okay in the mirror. So I went back to the room and asked my other friend who was Korean and smart if she ever cried because of grades and she told me what I needed to hear: Sometimes when I study, I just know that I can't make it and I just cry. Amazingly, I really felt better after she said that! Thank you so much Jihye! You see after high school, I promised myself not to cry because of grades because grades didn't defy me and such. But when I think about it, why would I make such promise? Grades matter! So what if you cry jyms? At least you let it out and not bottle it up. You're stressed and that's okay. Roent/Radiology: This subject is the reason why my friends fought each other. Bc of the freaking use of 1 Xray room. We were all using it even the higher year were! It was hassle! Also, when final grades came, we were all shocked! My final grade turned 6/7 points down from my midterm grade. But I know my lab grades were not that good since my films were kind of underdeveloped/overdeveloped and the slide exam was hard because I didn't study well. But Roent was fun because of developing of the films, I felt like I was a photographer, I captured a photo through the xray and developed it afterwards (which is kinda like so). Pharma: It was the adjusting part that I had trouble with. All the words were gibberish! Name of the drugs, and there functions and so many more! Pharma taught me to be amazed at those Pharmacists. Sorry for the ones I mistakenly called "ate" in the drug stores! At first it was really hard to memorize the spelling but along the way, I really got it, I really had a good final grade! I think I like drugs hihi. For the other subjects (Oral Physiology, General Pathology), I was okay. I survived the 1st semester! But I had a low grade now. I was a bit surprised at first but I guess it's life showing me that it ain't always easy. Everyday in the Dentistry world is the hardest, sometimes I hoped the next day wouldn't be as bad as today but then it just makes way to beating that day. So I get confused on really what was the hardest day for me last school year (omg "LAST SY", so done with Dent 2)!

#thoughts #personal

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years ago

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The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: Our lovers spend one last night together and the next morning have a serious discussion about their future after more new information comes to light about Sy’s upcoming training. Can the new relationship sustain the stress? Are Shane’s feelings justified, or can they overcome what lies before them?

Spoilers suck! Start from the top or wherever you left off HERE!

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Language, mature themes, smut, angst…well, near angst. As angsty as I get.

Author’s Note: Sorry this has taken so long, my darling dears! I’m currently on vacation and although I was hoping to be inspired by new surroundings, it’s given me WICKED writer’s block! I have a pretty solid plan for more chapters, though, so, buckle up!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland (apparently deactivated, idk what’s up with that)

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

@radkesgirl83

@wheretheriversrunintothesea

@heartfelt-pen

@auds24

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Sy's last two PT appointments could not have gone better. On paper, anyway. He was at full strength in his injured knee, his range of motion was better than it was in the so-called good knee, and he hadn't complained of pain above a 2/10 in the last five sessions. He'd even been using the treadmill properly the last two weeks, working up to his own goal of running again. Her goals for him were met…they could have probably stopped a session short, but she'd wanted to give him a few more handouts to finalize his HEP…and well, she'd be in major trouble for saying so, but…she couldn't stand the thought of cancelling that last visit. It felt like quitting, even though it would have been justified.

In practice, however, there was a tension between them that had never existed before. Something creating awkward energy that they couldn't seem to shake. They hadn't seen each other much outside of therapy this week, either. Not since the night of their argument. Sy had to do a lot of prep for his trip to Virginia, and Shane's caseload this week had been ridiculous. Dozens of evaluations and updates and calls to various companies on different kinds of splints and orthotics she was hoping to get for a few of her patients. A lot of time spent on the phone meant a lot of after-hours documentation. She needed a break. Even if it meant she'd have to do some work over the weekend. Sy was leaving tomorrow to get settled in Charlottesville before the big training course began. She didn't want them to be apart on his last night home for a month.

"Hey, as a celebration of your discharge from PT and your new career trajectory, how about dinner on me tonight?"

"But…you don't really want me to leave town…or to be done with therapy. Not that I, myself, won't miss you feeling me up in public." he smirked as she took his last set of range of motion measurements, her hands gently holding one arm of her goniometer to the side of his thigh…suddenly too aware of him.

"Not entirely true. I'm glad you're better, I'll just miss seeing you through the day. It breaks up the…" she sighed "the monotony of my daily life. Also, why would I want you to leave town? What would that say about me as your girlfriend?" she explained.

"S'pose you're right."

"In this case, yes. Yes I am." She winked at him.

They finished up and she gave him a few more exercises to keep in his arsenal to maintain strength and range in both knees.

"Okay, now, I won't be around to harass you about these, but keep doing them regularly, and just modify them as I've notated if they get too easy. Try to just do more reps, though. I wouldn't try to bulk it up just yet, and that's what you'll do with more weight added."

"Yes, ma'am." he said for old time's sake. She shook her head and smirked.

"And listen, please. This is your physical therapist talking right now. Be careful and mindful during … your cross country training." she wanted to call it "Survivor-Virginia," but refrained. She knew it would get his hackles up. And she was taking enough of a chance insisting that he be careful. "Nature has perils for the perfectly fit. The already injured are at a disadvantage from the gate. Mind your footing. And try not to run unless you have to. Uneven surfaces are not your friend just yet. You still need to work up to that. If you want, I'll help you with it when you get back. Just…don't undo all this work we've done together."

He seemed to see his woman peeking out from behind the mask of his therapist. Concern coloring the neutral and clinical advice she was giving him.

"I'll do my best, sunshine." he held her by the arms and kissed her forehead. It felt too intimate for the setting, but they had done worse. "I'll see ya tonight then?"

"Yeah, I'll bring some food by your place after work. What do you want?"

"Hmmm…I'll let you know." he kissed her cheek and left.

The next hour was her lunch, so she had time to contemplate what seeing him walk out for the last time had made her feel. She sighed, and started to well up, getting out her lunch bag to begin eating and documenting when a knock came at the door frame.

It was Sy, looking forlorn and manic and altogether a mess. Very unlike himself.

"I got out to the truck and something just felt wrong about the way I left today. As if it was any other day. Not our last session. You were trying to get that to land…I'm a little slow. But I finally got it." he walked to her, grabbing her up from her chair in a hug that mended all of the broken parts of her. Squeezed her back together when she'd been damn near falling apart. "Shane, you…you did more than just make me better. You've…made me better. Happier. Whole. I'll never be able to thank you properly for all of this, but…I intend to try for as long as you'll let me."

He held her while her tears fell softly onto his Def Leppard shirt. This was what she needed. For him to simply hold her, complete her, love her.

"Also, I think I'd like Chinese food tonight." she laughed into his neck.

"You idiot."

"You still like me."

"I do. And you don't need to worry about thanking me, Sy. You return the favor daily by just…being you…and being mine." She pulled him in to a ferociously sexy kiss, her hands in his hair, still too short for her liking, but getting there.

He broke away, neither wanting it to end, but both knowing it must, all the same.

"I thought we couldn't do this at your work?" he inquired, slightly out of breath.

"We couldn't do this while you were a patient. You're officially discharged. Last appointment over. All I have to do is sign your note and it's a done deal. But now…if you wanted to drop by for lunch sometime when you get back from training for your fancy job…we could…make it a regular occurrence." she smiled up into his entrancing blue eyes, sparkling with promise.

"I like the sound of that, sunshine." he gave her one more chaste kiss before his official goodbye. "See ya tonight."

As she watched him leave, she remembered thinking to herself one day how he probably used to take very confident strides…that hardly did his walk justice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She ordered their favorites, four entrees total, so they had options, crab rangoon, egg rolls, dumplings, the works. She would be happy to eat off the leftovers all weekend. She wasn't fussy. She loved leftover Chinese takeout.

He met her at the door, having advance warning of her arrival from the canine burglar alarm, Aika.

"You got her. Good girl." he said sweetly thanking the pup for sounding off the Twilight Bark throughout the neighborhood.

"Hello!" She handed off the food to Sy and scratched at the German Shepherd's ears the way she liked, her tail wagging with joyous speed.

"I thought we could set up a buffet on the coffee table downstairs while we watch TV?"

"Sounds great!" She said, with an enthusiasm that sounded almost forced. She wasn't able to fully shake this foreboding she felt saying goodbye to him, no matter how long they'd be apart.

Sy grabbed plates and silverware while Shane got them some beverages, and they headed downstairs, Aika knowing her boundaries did not extend to the basement except by invitation, whined at their descent. Sy wasn't having it.

"Oh, don't give us that sob story, ya brat." he rolled his eyes at Shane.

"Aww, can't she come down with us?"

"No way. I want you all to myself." a devilish smirk twitched up the corners of his mouth making him even more handsome.

"Aika has nothin' on you. You're the real dog." she teased.

"I make no excuses or arguments. I'm gonna be selfish with you tonight." they put the food and supplies on the coffee table and he caught her up into his arms. He seemed to want to inhale her into his lungs.

"Mmmm, as endearing as I've always found generosity, I really like the sound of that." She let out a huff of amusement.

They spent an uncharacteristically short amount of time choosing something to watch. They'd already started a miniseries together, and they wanted to finish it before Sy left. It was a British political thriller with a lot of intrigue and quite a bit of sex. They only had two hours left, so they finished it quickly as they ate.

They decided to put on something familiar afterward. Die Hard. Which they both quoted with ridiculous precision. They were cuddled into each other on the big sectional, lulled into comfort by the familiar security of the dialogue and the warmth of the other.

Soon, Sy's hand found its way to Shane's thigh. It inched its way inside and up. She felt like he could hear her heart rate quicken, just as she knew he could hear her breaths come with more effort due to his touch.

She looked at him, and despite her apprehension about his decision to leave her so early in their relationship, she wanted him. She'd known for so long now. It felt like forever, for longer than they'd even known one another. A ridiculous notion. But with that same gaze, she begged him to continue. The signal was not lost on the captain. His mouth punished hers in a kiss so deliciously violent and needy she thought there was no way he couldn't feel the same for her. She pushed to the back of her busy mind all of the negative emotions the kiss brought up, the confusion as to how and why he was going to leave her when he clearly needed her just as badly as she needed him, and just let this beautiful moment become what it would.

As hard as that was to do.

The way he touched her was a pretty effective distraction. One hand held her firmly against his mouth by the nape while the other built friction in her over her jeans. She felt her body's primal responses of the building pressure and her hands gripping at his shirt. His guttural moan at her answering touch only fueled the inferno in her. She needed more of him. She thrust up into his hand wantonly. He took himself away from her, cruelly, but to be so very kind, she would soon see. He undid her jeans and tugged them down, along with her panties. In the process, he repositioned her conveniently at the edge of the sofa. He scooted the coffee table out of the way enough to kneel before her. He tortured her with kisses from her knee up her inner thigh on both sides before continuing those kisses where she really needed them.

His warm breath hit her first and she arched, aching in anticipation for the corporeal. He looked up at her with his dervish's grin, seeing the desire on her face and feeling it course through her body, and although he was a better man than her previous lovers, and a better man than most, no man was so good that making his woman feel like this didn't make him feel like a god.

"Darlin', you're so gorgeous like this." he said as he teased her with his mouth. Her words failed. She had only unintelligible syllables for him. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed thoroughly amused by her speechlessness. Amused and encouraged. She'd never felt like this before. His lips and tongue worked over her trembling flesh, both as familiar paths and brand new territory. Discovering the new and remembering the familiar, all at once.

"Sy." she whispered, so close to her peak, and needing him to continue, but unable to do more than moan his name.

"I know, sugar. I know it won't be long. Whenever you're ready, sweetheart."

And she fell apart under his expert touch. He soothed her body down from the climax and asked her if she was ready for bed.

"I think not!" she replied. "The movie isn't over." and she pulled him up to her by the cheeks into another crushing kiss and guided him to the couch. She kicked her bottoms off her ankles to avoid tripping and repositioned herself between his legs as he'd done with her.

"You don't have to, sunshine." he caressed her jaw.

"I know, babe. I want to. Let me do this for you." He was always eager to taste her but she'd yet to return the favor at his own request. She was done letting him decline. She didn't want him leaving without giving him this small parting gift.

It wasn't as if she was unfamiliar with how big he was. She'd touched him, and had him inside her…but seeing him this close was different. She fully appreciated what a feat it was to take him.

She started in with her own tricks, which made him moan, just as planned. His hands laced gently and lovingly in her hair as she worked her mouth and hands over him. She looked up at him after a few moments to gauge his reaction and couldn't have been more pleased. His expression was one of pure, tortured bliss. She felt so powerful.

"Angel, I'm not gonna last much longer." she took that as her cue to get on top of him.

She joined their bodies with a groan of ecstasy that he echoed. She gripped his shoulders as she moved against him, slow and measured at first, but becoming more frantic and erratic as she chased her climax. One hand remaining on her hip, the other came to her chin and directed her gaze to him. Her eyes, blazing with desire, met his, full of tears. She fell against his lips, as she climbed higher, needing that final push to send her over. Which it did, tumbling into that familiar bliss, that she'd have to savor for…well, too long. She didn't want to think too hard about that. This would be their last night together for several weeks. And she wanted to make the most of it. She looked at him, nodded, and after a few more thrusts, he came to his own pinnacle with a shudder beneath her, clutching at her back, resting his head on her sternum. She held him there, and took a few cleansing breaths with her own cheek pressed against his lengthening hair. She stroked the ones at the back of his neck for a moment as they came down from their impossible high.

"Shall we continue this upstairs?" she asked as the cheery, festive, and entirely out-of-season notes of "Let It Snow" played on the TV with the rolling credits of Die Hard. He grinned.

"Yeah, if I still have bones in my legs." he kissed her neck, just above the collar of her tee. "And I'll come down later and clear all this up. We'll just have to close the door so Aika doesn't come down and have herself a party. She's a good dog, but I'm not about to tempt her."

Shane carefully slid off of Sy's lap, attempting not to make too much of a mess, grabbed her panties and slipped them on for the walk to Sy's room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The musical chiming of Sy's phone alarm came too damned early. They'd barely slept, not wanting to waste a moment together. When they finally nodded off after their last round of fervent love-making, they wrapped themselves around one another and were both out like lights in no time. Now he was untangling himself from her to turn the noise off and presumably begin the process of getting ready to leave for the airport. He only snoozed it, though, and pulled her more tightly against his bare, hairy chest.

"What time is it?" She asked, bleary from lack of sleep and extreme fatigue. Not that she was complaining.

"Seven. But my flight doesn't leave until 10, and it's just from the base. There's a flight leaving there for Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport and I'm hitchin' a ride with them."

"Oh good. I had anticipated we'd have to drive to Springfield, or even St. Louis this morning." She would do it for Sy, of course, but she wasn't looking forward to a six hour minimum round trip, half of which she would have to make alone.

"Nah, and I'm hoping to work something out for the return trip, too, but I'll let you know about that, then. I've made those open ended, though, because I don't know about the return date."

"Sure. God, that's so…crazy. Not in a bad way, just, I can't imagine leaving home without a clear plan on when I'd be back. Of course, knowing it won't be more than a month helps, I guess."

"Yeah."

"And really, a part of me has dreamed of living a sort of nomadic existence since I was very young, so I definitely see the romance in it."

"Totally agree. Hey, I'm hungry. How about we get ready and I'll buy ya breakfast?" He seemed evasive, but she was hungry, too, so she let it go.

"Sounds great!"

They got up and showered together, keeping the sexy time to a minimum given the current time constraints they'd now placed upon themselves. If they didn't hurry, they'd never get out of Cracker Barrell in time to get him to the base.

He loaded his bag in her cargo space and they headed off to the restaurant, which was hopping with traffic on a Saturday morning, as was expected. But since there were only two of them, they got a table without waiting.

They ordered coffees, and Cokes, not super healthy, but hey, this wasn't a daily occurrence. It was a splurge.

Sy ordered some massive and meaty breakfast spread that sounded like a heart attack waiting to happen, while Shane kept it simple with biscuits and gravy and a side of fruit…also, she stole a strip of Sy's bacon. Again…she was a weak woman.

The conversation was light and friendly and lovey…until the time came to leave. Sy picked up the check and took it to the counter to pay and then led her out the double doors back to her vehicle.

"You'll be able to FaceTime me on evenings you haven't gone walkabout in the wilderness, right?"

"I'm not sure they call it that outside of Australia, or even the Crocodile Dundee movies, but yeah, we'll plan on that, for sure."

"Good. I'll miss you so much. But at least I have a pretty good idea of when you'll be back." she was spouting excitedly, but he was being rather cagey again. He piped up with three words that never start off a good sentence.

"Yeah, about that…" she looked at him as they closed the doors to her Explorer, waiting for him to continue…hoping for good news, but expecting bad.

"I got an email last night…late…that I…that the training…might take longer than they told me at first." he winced for the impact of her reception of the anticipated bad news.

"Longer…uh-huh. How much longer?" she asked, backing out of her parking space.

"Ya know if you back into these spaces you don't have to worry about--"

"Really? This is the moment you want to man-splain the concepts of parking to me, Sy? I'll save you the trouble. My dad couldn't get me to do it, and I don't see you having any success, either. Now, how much longer?"

"I don't…they didn't give a concrete--"

"Give me your best guess based on what you know. Give me a range. A ballpark, if you will."

"Uhh…two or three more…weeks…than planned." he winced as she drove toward Fort Leonard Wood Army Base from the peaceful breakfast joint. It was rather poetic, really, since the conversation had turned from relaxed to militant. And they were driving from civilian territory into a land of combatants. Not a war zone, but a zone of warriors, perhaps. And she was ready for battle, herself.

"Sy. That's more than six weeks."

"I know." he said, his eyes downcast in some combination of shame, fear, and sadness.

"And you're…fine with it?" she prodded, prompting him to consider her.

"Of course I don't like it. I'm gonna hate being away from my sunshine for even a week. But this is…it's about who I am. Who I'm meant to be from now on. I have to find my way from here, Shane."

"I guess my only question is…where do I fit into this…path. This life you're making for yourself? We're brand new. But we've worked really hard already to get where we are. And I've worked really hard to get to where I am, professionally. In my dream job. No, the circumstances aren't ideal, but the work makes me think, and gives me purpose. What am I suppose to do? Either I give that up, or I give up…the only man I've ever been with who's made me actually happy."

"I don't want that. I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to give anything up for me, darlin.' That'll just lead to you resentin' me down the road, and I don't want that, neither." He stopped a moment and just looked at her, face holding back frustrated and angry tears…but also very sad ones. "What about this? Let's just, talk about all this moving forward stuff when I'm back from training. At that point, I'll know more about what to expect about jobs and assignments. And…if it would make you feel more comfortable…we can call ourselves…unexclusive. That way, if you meet someone while I'm gone--"

"Have you lost your mind?" She interrupted his ridiculous attempt to be selfless. She was secure enough in his feelings for her that he wasn't making the suggestion for himself.

"I'm serious. If you meet someone, and he sweeps you off your feet, don't resist. I want you to be happy, Shane."

"Then come back and teach gym at the local high school. Better yet, don't go, at all."

"You remember all that stuff you said about having your dream job and a purpose?" Shane nodded. "You want me to find all that too, don'tcha?"

"No. I'm a selfish bitch who wants you here with me no matter the cost. And I don't care if you resent me in the long run. At least I'll have you." she laughed at her sarcasm and only slightly true self-deprecation.

"You'll be fine. You managed so far without me." he reminded her as she pulled up to the gate, guarded by about four men, who's rank she couldn't tell, but one of whom Sy called a sergeant.

"I'll get out here and they'll take me to the hangar in a cart. No civilian vehicles allowed today. Apparently they're doing maneuvers." he shrugged and got out to grab his bag.

"I put the rest of the takeout in here too. It's in one of my nice coolers on ice."

"Thanks." she told her shoes as they stood under the shade of her rear access hatch. She couldn't look at him right now. He made her, though.

"This ain't quite like the airport, but I still don't have a lot of time, sunshine." he kissed her hard, and it really felt like a goodbye, which almost hurt more than his leaving. Almost. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and she knew she'd feel that embrace all evening. She hoped it would last for weeks.

"I love you, Sy." she sobbed to him. Trying like hell to keep it together.

"I love you, darlin.' Now don't you forget that when some other handsome fella gives you the eye. Make sure he's worth it, if you're gonna write me a dear john letter." he winked at her. She laughed and nodded, but didn't feel it was that funny, and didn't intend to adhere to his parameters of their relationship. He ducked under the arm that was preventing her from driving through. Although, legs as long as his, he almost could have stepped over it. She watched him walk away for as long as she could before she was given the signal that she must leave and let other traffic through…although, she resented this. There were two lanes, after all. Couldn't these men see what a mess she was? She'd just had to say goodbye to the love of her life…and she didn't know when…or indeed, if…she'd see him again. She had hope…but that didn't stop her from crying all the way home and the rest of the afternoon as the ghost of Sy's parting hug faded from her skin.

Up Next: Chapter 13: SNAFU

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