#This is my only anonymous space

[writtenbygen]

Why not

I’ve spent a lot of time and energy on all the reasons “why” he was perfect for me and why we should be together. So for in the future, when I inevitably idealize him again and feel like I should’ve given him more of a chance and maybe we’d be together, here are the reasons why we’re not.

I’ve been sure of him for almost a year. At which point he was fairly in and out. He knew he was a major confidant of mine, yet would often leave texts unanswered and cancel plans without rescheduling. I get it, he doesn’t feel well. But then when I stopped reaching out, going the entire summer without seeing each other and barely speaking at all. Never once checks in on me when I had confided all the problems I was having in the spring. 

Then he miraculously reappears in the fall. Doing a little better. He wants to see me. Then he wants to see me more regularly. He says “yes” to plans and we’re regularly part of each other’s lives. It gets to the point where I can expect to hear from him pretty often. Where he knows what’s going on in my life and I know what’s going on in his. I know he has doctor appointments on Tuesdays and therapy on Thursdays. He texts me to check in at 3pm on the dot when he knows that’s the time my stressful dentist appointment would be over. It starts to feel like a little more than friends. 

Then he drops off again.

Then I have a horrible tragedy—the death of one of the most important people in my life. I call him. Because everything feels so wrong. And I know when I’m with him, I feel like everything is a little more right. He’s there for me. He tells me to come over right away. That first night, I fell apart, and as horrible as it felt to be falling apart, it felt so right that it was his arms that I fell into. I felt safe and loved and at home. I said to him that I wished I could stop existing temporarily and he said “please don’t. I kinda like you.” He put his arm around me and he held me to his chest and I listened to his heartbeat. I told him I never wanted to move and he said I didn’t have to. We sat like that on more than one occasion, 3 separate days.

It was more than a friendship.

Over the coming weeks, he and that old couch in his basement and the little orange flicker of the fake candle underneath the lamp, became my safe place. That grounded me. Daily texts, checking in on me, reminding me he was there. He’s there for me in exactly every way I need him to be. He reaches out, responds, sees me whenever I need him. Comforts me, holds me, lets me cry, distracts me, includes me with his family and friends. He is perfect. He is the supportive partner I’ve always dreamed of. It feels like things are happening. 

Whenever I was feeling lost and alone and overwhelmed by my life, I remembered him. I could text him and he’d always respond. I could invite myself over and be there soon back in his comfort. And even when I couldn’t right away, I could think about it. Just the thought that he was there supporting me, cheering me on, and the thought that I’d see him soon, that he’d be there for me, was enough to get me through the worst days of my life.

He invited me to spend Christmas Day with his family. He invited me to New Year’s Eve with his friends. It felt like things were really “happening.” It definitely felt like more than friends. His mom said she thinks of me as part of the family. The New Year’s “party” was just his close guy friends from high school, and me. It felt like I was his plus-one. This was more than a friendship.

Then he dropped off again.

Daily texting turns into maybe a text or 2 every day or 2. It gets less and less frequent. Less and less interesting. When I ask how he is, I get vague answers. He claims he’s more absent because of his own issues. Maybe that’s true. He says he doesn’t want to talk and isn’t up to talking lately. Yet, he is also extremely hurt and offended that his stupid ex girlfriend won’t make time to talk to him. He wants to talk to HER. But not me. Not me, who he knows is counting on him. Not me, who he knows loves him and is there for him.

I don’t know if he’s spooked because he felt like things were happening with us. I don’t know if he doesn’t feel the same way or is just overwhelmed or is just hung up on his ex. I don’t know if it all really IS just because he’s sick and depressed. And honestly? It doesn’t even matter. I’m sick of not being a priority. I’m sick of him always coming first to me, and me only coming first to him when it’s convenient for him. He’s unreliable and inconsistent. He’s there only when he wants to be. He doesn’t communicate. He shuts me out. He pines for someone who couldn’t care less about him, and shuts me out when I clearly care so much for him.

This is a big case of: if he wanted to, he would. I don’t need to tell him how I feel about him. I can’t, even, because I haven’t seen him. I can’t see him, because he doesn’t want to see me. For almost a month now. But he knows how I feel. I’ve made it very, very obvious, and he’s LITERALLY a rocket scientist. He’s not stupid. He’s always been more observant and less oblivious than he acts. I’ve gotten my answer. No response is a response. I am done putting my life on hold for him. I deserve better than the scraps he throws at me.

In the wake of this, I feel absolutely wrecked by him. In the horribleness of the last couple months, he has been the straw that broke me. I feel absolutely shattered, heartbroken, and abandoned by him. Even though nothing ever “happened,” he can’t possibly have been so thick to not see at the very least that he was extremely important to me and was a huge reason why I wasn’t falling apart (in addition to it just being plain obvious, I actually told him this). He was there for me at my lowest and then gradually phased me out. What, as if I wouldn’t notice? The worst part is, I wasn’t even surprised. He got progressively more and more distant, like he always does. I thought this time would be different. Maybe it was. But he’s still him, and I half-expected that from the start. He’s not going to change. And this is what I’m going to get from him. I’m never going to come first to him. He’s never going to be open and communicate with me. He’s never going to be real with me. It’s always going to be one-sided. I’m just going to pathetically pine for him like he pines for his ex.

I cannot be broken by him one more time. I deserve better than to keep giving him chances thinking that it may turn out differently. I’m not going to give him the opportunity to crush me again.

I can now officially say, I saw this “relationship” through. I gave it a chance. It won’t work out. I see that it won’t work out. These are the reasons why. The reasons why I deserve better than him. There are so many things I love about him, but he makes it impossible and painful to love him. He would be perfect as a hypothetical. But he’s not hypothetical. He’s real, and he’s flawed, and he’s broken me time and time again. Whether or not it’s deliberate or malicious, he has. He’s not horrible, he’s not the worst person ever, but he’s also not as great as I’ve made him out to be in my head. When I put it this way, when I see who he really is and what he’s really done and take off the rose-colored glasses, I can finally see that. I’ve given him way too much power over me and my life. I need to break the cycle. I need to stop giving him chances to hurt me. Things are bad enough right now. The last thing I need is to feel crushed and gutted by my “friend.”

But love isn’t rational. Love doesn’t make any sense at all. Love is why, in spite of all the reasons why not, I still want him. I still love him.

[ducktracy]

I can’t BELIEVE they’ve gone back to Porky living in a normal house and Daffy living in his bathtub. I have held “Porky & Daffy” in my heart for all these years as an ideal of portrayal. This is the happiest day of my life

SO NICE I'M POSTING THIS TWICE FOR CONTEXT just because i want to look at it again. ughhhhhhh the little bird on Porky's bedpost one of the photos released also has another, DIFFERENT little bird. if he's like Snow White or something i will cry. just don't let him around any dogs because he'll drop them from staircases or encourage them to jump off bridges

I MEANT TO ANSWER THIS WAY EARLIER, BUT IT WORKS OUT BECAUSE LOOK AT WHAT THE WARNER DEUTSCHLAND CHANNEL JUST POSTED TODAY:

I'M SO HAPPY TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UGHGHGHGGHHG!!!! IT IS SUCH A GOOD PORTRAYAL ISN'T IT.. when LTC first came out i was very confident the opening to Firehouse Frenzy was a reference as well

I'M. SO. EXCITED. i know this needs to speculation like yeah no DUH. BUT AHHHHHHH. UGHHHHH I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE. i'm so excited to see what other homages to other shorts are in store. I'M SO EXCITED I CAN'T ARTICULATE MYSELF. i was gonna have some big eloquent explanation about how much i love Porky & Daffy (the characters too) but my words are stopping short because i literally cannot focus because i am just SHROUDED WITH EXCITEMENTTTTTT CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!

since i am in a CARTOON SHARING MOOD, here is the opening to Porky & Daffy for those who have never seen it because i have no idea when else i would post the entire opening. it's so endearing!!! look at the shaky camera truck-in and dissolve to the house... back when they were still struggling with how to do diagonal camera pans and double exposure effects.. :'))) i miss reviewing this era of cartoons profusely

i have a deep fondness for stuff like the shot of Porky grabbing the paper, Clampett seemed to have a similar fondness of starting shorts out of this era with close shots like that (Porky's Party opens on a very synonymous shot of Porky lighting the candles on the cake). Bobe Cannon's animation of Porky is adorable. some really smooth and hypnotic Chuck Jones animation of Daffy boxing with the pillows (in Chuck's last short working for Clampett!). this entire exchange is adorable. i am so excited for anything that even entertains the idea of modeling itself after this. i'm so excited.

[deadpanwalking]

Every time my neighbours blast their selection of really bad music from 10 pm to 5 am I become a war criminal in my mind. Maybe in the future tumblr will have a feature that allows someone like op to judge me at the Thought Hague.

Man, if my neighbors blasted their selection of really good music at 2AM, I'd still be thinking shit that would land me in the gallows next to you at Crimethink Nuremberg.

[niuniente]

To the anon who said that I shouldn’t be upset because Finland didn’t win.

I’M GOING TO BE AS FUCKING UPSET AS I EVER WANT. YES EVEN IF THIS HAS HAPPENED 2+298+40935 TIMES BEFORE.

70% votes from whole Europe and the jury vibes their ass with these paid televotes? Talk about respecting your audience.

[softpine]

If somehow we had the chance to view everyhing you've ever written about your characters, all of things you have planned for a single character. Who are the top three people we should pick? Hopefully that makes sense

like which characters' arcs would've gotten crazy?

that would have to be casper and coco, look at this behemoth doc i have of vague ideas & dialogue for them (mostly for coco) 😭

the problem is that i was planning to write casper out of frozen pines when he went off to college, but i was sick of only writing teenagers & their parents, so i kept him around for a fresh perspective. i didn't expect myself to project so much onto him and i didn't plan on making coco into such a complex character that i would fall sooo in love with. so it all kind of ballooned into this massive plot that, even back when i had free time, i was never going to have time to write :( it sucks because i would LOVE to be able to tell their story, but i think it would've worked better as an entirely separate story to frozen pines.

third i suppose would be finn... i actually wrote this whole fake podcast transcript based around his murder, i've written countless oneshots that aren't finished enough for me to post them, and every single AU version of him lives in my mind like they're all their own characters. i love him so so bad... writing from his point of view feels so natural to me

[anglerflsh]

Been following you since 2019, I've seen things, but it's INSANE how some things will never change. This reminds me of the time where you wanted to renovate Hallownest, in like, 2021. Keep doing what you do your blog is amazing and still love your art 👍

many things come and go but my single-minded obsession to waltz into any fantasy world, obtain fictional absolute power and place or reform a system of government, and then leave with no trace behind except a well-functioning machine of a State, like a fantasy Sulla, is forever

[literaryvein-reblogs]

hello; i just wanted to say i respect you immensely for the resources you publish on a daily basis. i'm sure you have your own motivations for doing so, but if it ever becomes hard for you to manage, please take some time to care for yourself and your health. you are far more important than i feel you give yourself credit for.

You are so sweet, dear Anon. No worries, though! About +90% of my posts on this blog are now queued. It seems like I'm always on here, but I'm not. Usually you can tell I'm here when I answer replies on posts, or messages like this. But sometimes these are queued too. Or is it.

[m0e-ru]

lets think of everyone who had persona blogs and obliterated them off the face of the earth instead of just archiving and keep them in our thoughts tonight. everyone else who directly caused them into doing that go and fucking behave

[allastoredeer]

Hmm, you know once I saw someone say Lucifer is a king and so of course he's gonna be a bottom in bed because people of power always in control and usually want not to be in control somewhere so in bedroom with their partner is a perfect place.

Lucifer from HH. Always so much in control of his life and 'monarch duties' that he wouldn't want to be the one who top in bed. What a funny joke, seriously, I laughed.

"Lucifer would be a bottom because he's a king and people in power are always in control, so he obviously wouldn't want control in the bedroom."

Meanwhile:

"Alastor would never bottom because he's an Overlord and people in power are always in control, so obviously he'll want to have control in the bedroom."

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

[gendertrickster]

i find very cool how you're dating the writer of the comic you were (still are) swooning over

it's literally so fucking funny. you guys cannot even comprehend all the reasons why this is the funniest shit ever

[mumblesplash]

Wait a damn minute, hetalia fan that follows you for DC content here, YOU'RE the one from the Hetalia is Real post????

lol yep that’s me! the Hetalia Is Real guy

[phagodyke]

in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

[utilitycaster]

this is just a curiosity question bc i was going through your caleb tag the other day and saw that you said that vax and caleb are each other's types, and i was wondering if you'd be willing to elaborate on that?

Vax canonically was in love with a powerful redheaded spellcaster. Caleb canonically had feelings for a prankster, and seems to be attracted to a fairly wide array of physical types. Both are bisexual. It means that they would fuck each other.

If it helps I believe the original context was a jokey question of "if the Mighty Nein and Vox Machina characters played by the same actor fought each other who would win" and this was my answer.

[rhinocio]

I don’t know how you do it, but whenever I check tumblr you have ALWAYS magically updated 4 hours ago. It doesn’t matter if it’s 10am or 5pm or 3am… do you sleep? ARE YOU A WIZARD?????

[izloveshorses]

I just saw some dumb post on Reddit about how Anastasia the musical 'could have been great.'

IT WAS GREAT!!!!! IT'S MY FAVORITE MUSICAL OF ALL TIME!!! IT BEAT OUT WICKED!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!!!!!!!!!

Make me feel like someone agrees with me please 😭😭😭😭

not only my favorite musical, but my favorite media, period <333 leave my baby alone <333333

[daughterofsarenrae]

for the batman characters: cassandra cain!

three facts about them from my personal headcanons 1. she's an adrenaline junkie and she should get into extreme sports. like she just vanishes for a few months and then u find out it's because she got really into like. idk freeclimbing or x-trials 2. she is absolutely unbeatable at just dance 3. i think cass doesn't know what a gender is and just goes along with she/her bc that's what people called her. if she ever sits down and hears like an lgbt primer she'd be like. oh. nah i dont have one of those. but she also doesn't care enough to do some self-introspection over this when she has her planet-sized guilt complex to deal with instead

a reason they suck -Doesn't take good enough care of herself. babygirl getting urself killed for The Mission doesn't fix anything and won't ever be enough to make you forgive yourself. Find a healthier outlet

a reason they are great -where to begin. she is perfect To Me. she's so arrogant esp re: 'i never lose' and she keeps being right about that and it makes her even worse. she never does anything in half measures. nothing short of perfection is acceptable. this isn't necessarily great FOR her but it's great for me to read about

a reason I relate to them  -hates losing anything

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character -otp: stephcass. fucking obsessed with them.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened -she should've gotten to kiss brenda. as a treat -she should get to kiss steph on page. as a treat -she should get to be in any movie/show without her entire backstory/character being rewritten -i think she should join a band and she should either play drums or bass -therapy. she'd hate it and it would never happen and it prob wouldnt fix her but it's worth a shot -bonus one i think she should have to look after a toddler for like a week for some reason and she talks to this kid ALL the time to make sure they get the chance to grow up hearing human voices, unlike what she got. also she tries to teach the baby krav maga -bonus bonus one LET THAT GIRL BE BATMAN!!!! literally no one else wants/should want that identity. her wanting the batman mantle was such a big part of batgirl2000 and if we all work together we can actualize this future.

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