#This is my i am Just in my 20s moment
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Nosferatu is such a little freak, not for the blood or the rats, but for being OBSESSED with an emo girl plagued by visions
#nosferatu#nosferatu 2024#bill skarsgård#lily rose depp#This is my i am Just in my 20s moment#A lot of interesting things about this movie that I should try to communicate eloquently but like it was also funny#I spent 30% of the time saying EW. then it was either 'oh my god' or laughing#Like I am sorry I cannot take it seriously#Nicholas Hoult#is a real one considering 2 freaks were trying to kill him
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(DCxDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (pt. 2)
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Tw: N/A
Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually
(Pt. 1 here) - (Pt. 3 here)
(Masterlist/subscription post)
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It was a beautiful morning. Somehow, against all odds, the sun was shining through the thick smog perpetually covering Gotham.
And Danny hated it.
He was in pain, he was exhausted, he was grieving, and all he wanted to do was sleep for at least a week.
In an act of celestial mockery, the sun shone regardless.
After around twenty minutes of tossing and turning in bed, trying to get back to sleep, Danny gave up and pried himself out of bed.
He stumbled through the hallway and into the living room, staring openly at every splash of color he saw in the small apartment. He hadn’t forgotten what color looked like in the time he was in the lab, but it was comforting to see.
Someone cleared their throat. Danny whipped his head around, eyes falling on a scrawny, gangly man sitting down in a worn armchair, hunched over a laptop. He was looking at him with a dull, bored expression.
Right. Scarecrow.
His escape.
The chase.
His mom.
“You look a lot less terrifying without the mask,” Danny blurted out, slapping his hand over his mouth. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Well, I certainly wouldn’t call my normal appearance frightening,” Scarecrow hummed, focusing his attention back onto the laptop, “that’s what the costume is for, after all.”
“Oh.”
After a brief moment of excruciating silence, Scarecrow spoke.
“You any good with computers, Danny? Hacking, and all that?”
Danny jolted. Scarecrow needed his help with something! This was great! Now, he’d have more of a reason not to get rid of him!
“Oh, uh, yeah! Not as good as my friend Tucker, but I think I’m pretty good.”
“And you’re familiar with the GiW’s systems specifically,” Scarecrow continued, beckoning him over. Danny complied, shuffling over awkwardly. “Right?”
“Well, I guess? My friends and I got into their stuff a couple of times before they…”
“Wonderful,” Scarecrow said, standing up with a stretch. He shoved the laptop into Danny’s hands and gestured for him to sit down on the couch. “Then you can hack into their system and extract whatever files you can find.”
Danny stared at the man like he’d lost his mind. He looked back at him expectantly.
Danny sat down.
“Yeah, I-I can do that. Tuck and I built a back door into their system ages ago,” he said, checking the screen. It was clear that for all the skills that Scarecrow had, hacking was definitely not one of them. “But, uh, don’t you have someone else that usually does this sort of thing for you? Not that I’m complaining!”
Scarecrow scowled, and Danny felt his heart fall into his ass.
“Usually, I do,” Scarecrow huffed, “but I chose to leave my most recent job with the Penguin early, so now there’s no way that he or Eddie will help me with anything until I make it up to them somehow.”
“Oh,” Danny said.
He had no clue whatsoever who Eddie was.
Danny got to work quickly, hoping that if he ignored the gangly man, he would leave him be. Luckily, he did just that, leaving to go work on something in another room.
Danny checked the laptop’s security before continuing Scarecrow’s progress, making sure that the GiW wouldn’t be able to grab their location.
It was…threateningly good. Whoever Eddie was, he had somehow crammed the functionality of a top-of-the-line PC into a tiny, beat-up old laptop. It almost reminded Danny of Tucker and his terrifying competence with his PDA.
Tucker.
Amity park.
Home.
Danny snapped himself out of his thoughts, tabbing back into the application Scarecrow had up and began to work his magic.
He had near full access to the entire GiW database within half an hour.
Mumbling out a quick thank-you to Tucker, he called Scarecrow over to appraise his work.
“Fixed up some food for you while you worked,” the rogue said, handing him a bowl of oatmeal, taking the laptop into his lap as he did so, “didn’t know how well you could eat, considering you’re recovering from… surgery, so I decided to stay on the safe side.”
Danny had no clue what this guy’s deal was.
He definitely did not tear up at the first genuine thoughtfulness he encountered in weeks, and he did not look away as he ate so that Scarecrow couldn’t see his face.
At least Scarecrow was too focused on the laptop to notice or care.
Or, maybe, he was just mercifully ignoring him.
Either way, Danny ate slowly, not wanting to make himself sick. He allowed himself to absentmindedly look around the room for the first time, taking everything in.
It was strangely homey. The space was filled with warm browns and yellows, a few splashes of color on the wall in the form of (obviously gifted) paintings. There was a beat-up bookshelf against the wall, clearly second-hand, filled to the brim with psychology books. On every available surface there was a different colored candle, all at different stages of use, clearly collected over the course of years.
Danny knew that the man next to him was a crazed, murderous criminal, but his home was oddly reminiscent of Jazz.
He was not about to cry.
“Danny,” Scarecrow hummed, snapping him out of his spiraling, “can you explain this to me?”
He looked over. The rogue was pointing to a new report, seemingly posted only a few hours ago.
Nodding, he took the computer into his lap, pouring over the contents.
He read the report again.
And again.
And again.
Danny swore loudly, crumpling like a wet paper bag, head in his hands.
“What?”
“It’s…” he swore again, glancing back at the laptop, “they…since you became liminal from synthetic ectoplasm, when we’re within about 500 meters of one another, our ectoplasm signatures resonate, and they can’t track us with any of their technology.”
“How is that a bad thing?”
“If we’re not that close to each other, they can track us down from anywhere in the world.”
Scarecrow went dead quiet. After what felt like the single longest minute of Danny’s life, he let out a truly exasperated sigh, slumping over in his seat.
“Yeah, me too,” Danny mumbled, utterly miserable.
“…I’ll have to move my plans back a little,” Scarecrow sighed, “I can’t drag an injured child with me when I attack the Gotham GiW base, you’ll just get in the way.”
“Oh come on,” Danny whined, “I can take care of myself just fine. Besides, Batman brings kids with him to do dangerous stuff all the time, and he’s fine!”
“Might I remind you that the second Robin died violently,” Scarecrow snapped, “and that Batman most likely has more traumatic brain injuries than all of the Gotham rogues combined. That really isn’t the winning argument you think it is.”
Danny paused, trying to think up some way to win the argument. Then, he realized what he had ignored before.
“Wait, Scarecrow, you’re gonna attack the GiW?”
“That’s the plan,” he nodded, “and call me Dr. Crane. I’m only Scarecrow when I’m in the mask.”
But,” Danny sputtered, “Sca—uh, Dr. Crane—that’s insane! The weapons they’ve got- they’ll rip you apart!”
“Not my first time,” Crane said, making Danny wince. “Besides, I have plenty of experience avoiding gunfire. I’ll live.”
“You…” Danny was silent for a while, trying to think of something to say, “fine, but you have to take me with you wherever you go. As soon as they see either of us on their radars, they’ll hunt us down.”
Dr. Crane sighed.
“…Fine. I need some time to plan anyways. Now, you’re going to help me download these files, properly format them, and send them out.”
“…Why?”
“Well, some of the other rogues might appreciate the heads up, and I’d quite like them to be indebted to me. Besides, I still need to pay back the Penguin for ditching him, and he loves knowing things that other people don’t.”
Danny paused.
“That’s an awful idea, no offense. If any of the rogues know our weaknesses, they—”
“Danny, we’re censoring everything. The only things they need to know about are the GiW specifically, and any sort of laws surrounding them.”
Danny snorted.
“You care about laws now?”
“Yes, because if we get taken to Arkham, they’ll hand us off to the GiW the moment they ask, and it’ll be completely legal.”
Oh. Danny had honestly forgotten that Arkham was an option.
“…Ok. I’ll help you. Who are we telling?”
“I don’t think you really need to know,” Dr. Crane said, the faintest shadow of an amused look on his face, “but I’ll humor you for now. We’re sending the files out to the Penguin, Riddler, Poison Ivy via Harley Quinn, Two-Face, and Red Hood.”
Danny nodded. He could live with that.
“Alright, then let’s get to work.”
—
#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc fanfic#dp x dc fic#liminal scarecrow#scaredad scaredad scaredad#not pictured: scarecrow frantically googling to see what he can feed Danny without killing him#and also going through everything in his kitchen to find something that isn’t spoiled#he lives like a 20 year old bachelor in terms of food. just takeout and moldy bread in there#maybe a can of soup if he’s feeling adventurous#scarecrow: ah yes I am feeding him soft foods to keep my lead on the GiW alive. No sentimental reason whatsoever#danny who is about to start bawling his eyes out:#the boy had to battle resurrected food for years. he is NOT used to being fed actual edible things#danny: scarecrow could kill me at any moment. that’s why he’s feeding me and worrying about my health and safety#btw HUGE shoutout to the riddler for cramming an entire gaming pc into a 2007 microsoft computer#or some shit like that#and just giving it to scarecrow. for free. just bestie things
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[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL#SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS#BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY#THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT#but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested#I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK#bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2#but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will#bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world#OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through#his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning#when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom#remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i.#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary#when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED!#he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him!#but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude.#he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude#even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second.#even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself.#one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!!#chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!!#i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is#just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG#but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man.#thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.
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#fantasy high#arthur aguefort#dimension 20#the reaction to my other FH piece was so nice i wanted to do something else#and this was the second moment for me as a newbie fan i knew i would love this show#(the first being 'goblin-sized???' but i am not going to commit that to wood)#it also occurs to me that my visual of the egg is different than everyone else#i imagined the fire INSIDE the egg#i don't think it translated that well to burned wood but i still like it#might clean it up more later#this is just a present to the fandom for being nice about the gorgug one#artists on tumblr
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[ID: a digital drawing of Riz Gukgak from D20 fantasy high from the waist up. He looks like he's holding onto sanity by a thread and is covered in blood as he attempts to sew a finger back onto Biz's hand and says, ha ha, oopsie! End ID]
Damn man being 14 sure is tough... It's all just pimples this, brutally shooting off a classmate's fingers before figuring out he wasn't the mastermind and then immediately regretting it that...
#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high spoilers#fantasy high freshman year#riz gukgak#watched the whole first season in a blur and have many emotions about them#my homicidal princesses etc etc#never watched a campaign before so i just went from la di da in episode 1 to rocking on the floor w adaine in ep 2#i half regret not writing down the moments i wanted to draw but also i am going to watch the hell out of moments compilations on yt#so im sure ill remember at least some#too many good moments to count#have to do the 'yes!' thing. i just have to#fantasy high freshman year spoilers#ill skip the live one shots for now and go straight to sophomore and then come back later#also hi. just in general. what the fuck what the absolute fuck#i see why this was meant to be watched on a weekly level#blood tw
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like yes i would have liked for this battle to have been at all narratively interesting instead of just a sick beatdown, but yknow thats what fic is for! i had a good time! i chuckled even!
#as sonny said i am not going to the comedians for lore and meta i am going to my mutuals#i dont wanna say that the intrepid heroes like arent capable of creating those narrative moments#i just think truly the energy was not in that direction lmfao#and thats ok 😌#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high junior year#fh#c.txt#fhjy#EDIT: HILARIOUSLY HOW QUICKLY I SPIRALLED FROM THIS#she was coping so hard…
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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With mismag2 on the horizon I had a question for the culture:
Transfem Evan Kelmp is a wildly popular headcanon in the fandom and I was wondering where that hc originated for people? I imagine the answer is different depending on the person and I want to see why :)
I ask because I remember when the first season was initially airing the common gender hc for Evan was non-binary, but now it is overwhelmingly transfem.
#I’m sure it’s just cuz we all saw his princess moment in episode 4 and went ‘I know what u are’#but like I said when the season first came out it was mainly he/they headcanons that reigned supreme#(I admit I am asking this question because my bipolar delusions of grandeur are crediting ME with making the hc popular)#(so I need to get answers from the people to bring me back to reality)#(why do I feel responsible for the hc becoming popular? I’ll never tell 😉)#dimension 20#misfits and magic#mismag#d20 mismag#mismag 2#evan kelmp#transfem Evan kelmp
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Okay. So. I remembered this one kind of weird part in “Enlightenment” where Turlough tries to sell out the crew and The Doctor just kind of Stares at him the whole time. Like quite intensely. And, as a joke, I said to myself “I wonder how long he actually stares at him without looking at anyone else for” and decided to count it For Fun.
About 34 seconds. 34 seconds straight.
Sir. Sir please direct your big brown eyes somewhere else. Please blink sir. Please. Sir.
#between this the Oh It’s Hot In Here cell scene / boys night out / and ‘I Appreciate the Offer but Do You Have to Be So Forceful’#The Cradle of the Snake moments#and ‘Total devastation? A bride? And where does that leave me’ from Loups-Garoux#it is getting increasingly difficult to not start thinking that someone somewhere out there in the dw universe has a fivelough agenda#and presumably that person is Marc platt because both those audios were by him#that doesn’t explain whatever the fuck is going on here though#s20e5 enlightenment#enlightenment doctor who#main range 20: loups garoux#main range 138: the cradle of the snake#fifth doctor#vislor turlough#man I really am beyond the point of all salvation in terms of the hyperfixation#when I start going back to old episode and counting the duration in which people stare#this stupid fucking tv show is consuming my life.#it’s reached like my old BATIM phase / Jekyll and hyde levels of Bullshit Fixation and Speculation#except there isn’t a limit to dw media so I just keep sinking deeper#at least with j&h adaptations there’s probably some upper limit I don’t know what the stop point is here#mum come help me I want to get off this ride but my Lack of Impulse Control won’t let me
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THE BEST OF SHENKO 1/?
The end of the world has a way of reminding you of all the things you forgot to say do. Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#kaidan alenko#sophie shepard#EDI#shenko#fshenko#mass effect#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#OTP: you're real enough for me#i learned i am physically incapable of creating less than like 20 gifs at a time#but shenko stonks are up right now!!#gif’ing my favorite bisexuals gives me joy 🥹#even though ME2 is dry as shit for shenko content like it’s literally the sahara desert#like a whole ass 10 minutes max of cutscenes between shep and kaidan like come on#like 2 minutes in the prologue and like 8 minutes of cutscenes on horizon#and then an email and looking at the picture in your cabin before the suicide mission#i'm so sorry y'all ME2 shenko canon is absolute shit (besides kaidan being rightfully angry on horizon) which is why we ✨ignore it✨ 🥰#but i rant about ME2 VS treatment too much so i will not write another essay about it in the tags#i will say the EDI line isn't the exact quote from the game but i think about it a lot tbf#same with the quote i borrowed from anderson too lmao (which is also a tiny bit paraphrased)#i just love EDI asking shep for relationship advice when you get to follow shep and kaidan's relationship/struggles across 3 games#and anderson's quote about all the things you forgot to do in relation kahlee to is just *chef's kiss* when you think about shenko#like whether it starts in ME1 or ME3 shenko has some really fantastic moments across the series#two characters with strong morals who realize that they're falling in love and literally start to become each other's strength??#their soft place to land?? their support when they need it?? shenko will always have my heart#also the shenko quotes you get are the most fire thing in the world#you're real enough for me?? you make me feel human?? i want to be your strength- your soft place to land?? shenko you will always be famous#I FORGOT IM GONNA FIGHT LIKE HELL FOR THE CHANCE TO HOLD YOU AGAIN TOO LIKE??#but i’ll stop ranting now bc i do that wayyy to much in my tags lol. have a good day wherever you are! <3
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i remember starting house m.d. at the height of the pandemic; it was during lockdown and if i remember correctly, i stopped at around season 6-7(ish)?
and i was skeptical about returning to [re]watch the show beyond season 5 and post-kutner death because he was my comfort character and i had to reel back and take it all in to accept he was no longer coming back :(
but life, as of late, has been overwhelming for me. hence, my absence and my inability to come online to post daily thutner updates.
so, i decided to give season 8 a go despite the negative reviews i have read about it and i am glad i did because i would have missed out on this golden and underrated scene from the fourth episode of the season:
the way foreman just stood there and let house hold his ass for idk how many seconds/minutes this even lasted. all i know is that it made me bust into a fit of laughter. 😭
bonus screenshots of house winking at foreman and foreman just standing there like "🤨🏳️🌈⁉️" /lh, j
anyway, i think i will resume my house m.d. postings (MAINLY THUTNER because they are the sole reason why this blog was even made in the first place + i will include postings about house m.d. scenes which i personally like since i got my laptop fixed already. also, HELLO TO MY NEW FOLLOWERS! happy to have you here. :) (i will be tending to my ask submissions within the week, so please wait and be patient with me. ❤️)
#house md#hate crimes md#no context house md#gregory house#hugh laurie#eric foreman#omar epps#I MIGHT JUST INCLUDE PARK IN MY POSTINGS BECAUSE I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS CINNAMON ROLL THE MOMENT I WATCHED S8#also#NO ONE WAS GONNA TELL ME FOREMAN WAS HOT IN SEASON 8#i mean he was so babie in seasons 1-3#I AM SO GAGGED /pos !!!!#BUT YEAH#FOREMAN MY OG HOUSE MD CRUSH#and if i rewatch s1-s3 for him THEN WHAT THEN WHAT#then this blog would be 80% thutner + s4 applicants#20% park and foreman
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today our new mattress came and we set it up and y'all. i've been sleeping on The Pain Slab for so long that i forgot mattresses not only can be but are supposed to be comfortable. this is insane. i can hear colors rn my side stitch isn't really side stitching (knocking on wood furiously) and i'm almost. serene. effervescent on the mattress rn
#as owen said earlier i am no longer cursed forever to sleep on a twin [xl] sized mattress in somebody's attic or basement my whole life#sick tfb moment#anyway we as a household have upgraded to a king after saving for 20 years and i feel like such a little guy on this thang#the other one was the og i had at like 15 that i brought with me in my adult life#and by god that bitch was a piece of shit#Pain Slab i hate you so much <33#if we could safely and environmentally consciously burn that bitch i would because it is so ratty and deformed and shitty that i would not#be surprised if it's a good part of why my flareups have never really Gone Away over the past few years#i used to have periods in between them. life being just one big 9+ pain scale is new and now that i think about it corresponds with#the deterioration of The Pain Slab#anyway the new mattress is sick i'm about to have my first sleep on it
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when i say i am obsessed with him
#'indescribable insolence' <3333#dumas writing aramis in '20 years after':#i am going to create a character that is so egdy sarcastic provocative and irritating to everyone around him#and im gonna make stirring shit being an asshole and gruesome murder his favourite hobbies#and he did just as he said. bless him.#most character ever#and what makes him even better is the contrast between 20YA!aramis and t3M!aramis. its hilarious.#my man really went feral. midlife crisis some call it. i call it character development of all time. i call it serving cunt.#aramis as a musketeer a soldier a man in a profession where you're literally paid for killing people:#sweetness and mildness personified writes poetry and theology essays in his free time never gambles dreams about dedicating his life to god#aramis as a priest: whooo boy i hope i get to fUCKING KILL A PERSON TODAY >:D#anyway. i love him a normal amount or something.#the three musketeers#alexandre dumas#anyway. i reread this scene and the charenton battle today because it's definitely in my top 3 aramis moments#also the english translation on the gutenberg page omits two lines of dialogue that i remembered from my polish translation#and it goes something like#de Chatillon says 'i think you're looking for a fight sir' to which Aramis basically responds with 'oh nooo you *think*? Imao'. iconic.#(and its even funnier cause that makes athos immediately go 'aramis stfu plz' and aramis just goes 'no <3' im obsessed with them)#vingt ans apres#do i have a#twenty years after#tag?? not sure tbh i think i dont but tagging just in case ig
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So all of a sudden I may be moving out of state in ten days
#I hate all of this#it's happened so fast#Earlier this year I WANTED to move#I don't do well in my state during the winter for mental health reasons#If I move it will be to a better job than the one I had#but none of this is happening on my terms#and I'm leaving my friends who have become like a second family#I STILL HAVENT HEARD BACK FROM JOBS I INTERVIEWED WITH#and my parents sprang all of this on me tonight#I'm 24. This should all be my choice#but somehow it's not#sorry for the rant#I am on the edge of insanity it feels like#I've been having a panic attack all day basically#I am going to leave my friends who I love and be with my stressful family unless something better happens fast#And I'm freaking out a little bit guys#I just want ONE THING to be in my control#one tiny thing#absolutely fuck my life#you know what maybe I should've died when I was 20#at least that would have been my decision#for the record this is not me being suicidal#I'm not#just feeling a bit despondent at the moment
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#I have spent the last 7 hours in the kitchen.#i am about to try this recipe that I was very hopeful for but GUYS… it does NOT look good 😭#this is a rare example of me following a recipe exactly so I know that it isn’t my fault if this is bad. I think it’s gonna be bad.#I’m laughing because I’m exhausted and I’ve been looking forward to this dinner all day and I’ve been on my feet cooking nonstop#and sitting in front of me? goop.#I’m not even mad. and believe it or not it was good of me to try. trying a new recipe was the right thing to do.#but lord almighty I think it’s gonna taste BAD#I’m just staring at it afraid. this is the moment before I know if hours of cooking were wasted. ahhhhhhh#okay biting now#HM. YEAH. that’s fine I was in the mood for a protein shake anyway!#I promise I am not usually wasteful. I make meals last for days because my tummy is 20% of its original size. but boy howdy#I can’t stop laughing this tastes so badddddd#my stuff
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monday quest is to order the couple of supplies i need for a project. this is challenging to me because it combines 2 things that melt my brain: 'online shopping' and 'deciding between similar but subtly different things'. HOWEVER i can do it!!! and it will be fun to make things when they arrive >:) side quest make a different dinner, i have got some fresh fish to try and i have never cooked with it before due to we always bought it frozen. worst thing that can happen is it doesn't agree with my health stuff and i do not cook it again 👍 i'm making it so basic style for this reason. i feel like it could be delicious!
#monday quest#i was wondering why i was feeling so crazy insane like i would explode into one million pieces and amongst the fact that i woke up#so many times in pain last night and hurt a lot today. i remembered i'm waiting on 3 prescription requests to be approved so they can#be delivered to me before i run out AND i'm going to the dr within a fortnight. so. hahahaha :P that'll do it!!!!!#also it's my birthday soon which is good and fun and i am lucky to have fun things planned but that does not stop me from being worried#that i will get a bad grade in 'having a birthday' despite there being zero precedent for that :P u know how it is with anxiety 👍 (bad :P)#goal for this week: BE REGULAR and have regular days!!! literally so possible i just need to 1) stay present in the moment.#2) keep practicing the habit of not kicking myself through the days. and 3) DO MY EVENING ROUTINE AND GO TO BED ON TIME HELLO.#<- guy who is about 20-30 crucial irreplacable minutes behind schedule voice#so on that note goodnight everybody in the world unless it's daytime in which case i hope ur having a good day
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