#This is basically just a longer version of the list I give my extended family when they ask what I'm trying to do lol.

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

hello there! curious autistic little shit whose special interest is zoology (entomology, specifically) here, so sorry to bother.

i would sell my soul to get a chance to actually study zoology, but the thing is, i have no idea what they do. after they graduate, i mean. do you have to become an academician at a university, or do you get to do something else too? if so, what? who hires zoologists?

i couldn't find any decent information on the web, so i thought it'd be best to ask somebody who's actually studying that at the moment. (if you aren't and i misunderstood you completely, well. it'd be very awkward.)

thank you and have a very good day!

No you absolutely guessed right, I'm also an autistic little shit with a special interest in zoology!!

It is true that a lot of folks who study zoology end up in academia/research. I think its helpful to remember that that doesn't necessarily mean working at or with a University lab! Generally speaking, museums, zoos, arboretums, and any other place with some sort of academic collection have positions. This is especially true for Entomology, in my experience. Entomologists seem to love keeping specimen collections, which creates a lot of positions for collecting/sorting/maintaining/archiving specimens. This route seems to appeal the most to people who just want to gather as much info about certain animal groups as possible.

Another major branch I usually see is wildlife/conservation/husbandry work. This one is more favorable if you're into animal handling and care (though its pretty dominated by charismatic animals like mammals and birds in case that's not your thing). Sometimes this is adjacent to academia, sometimes its more of a public service management thing like maintaining protected areas, and sometimes its more veterinary. Wildlife centers and national parks are famously understaffed, and zoos/aquariums are always looking for people qualified for specialized animal care (this would probably extend into entomology a bit more).

Then, of course, there's veterinary school. There's your veterinarians for companion animals, obviously, but also people trained in specialized/exotic animals (avian vets come to mind). There are also many veterinarians that go into agriculture, or caring for farm animals. (If you're really into domesticated animals, I recommend looking into animal science programs specifically rather than zoology as a whole). This branch requires a lot of work, and is very much the Zoologist equivalent of going off to med school, but tend to have the most stable and well paying job market from what I've seen. As previously mentioned, there are also positions for vets in specialized animal husbandry and care in zoos and aquariums, as well as in wildlife rescue centers.

Overall, most zoology positions are fairly specialized and require at minimum a 4 year undergrad degree, which is pretty frustrating. Most of the people I've interacted with in this field also plan to attend, are attending, or have graduated from some kind of postsecondary school, like grad or vet school. Its also kinda obvious that this isn't a field you get into for money or prestige. Most of these jobs are very much passion projects for anyone I've met who have them. Still, from one autist to another, passion's probably not something we have to worry about lol.

Anyway I tried to cover all the bases I knew about, but I'm just one guy and also like, obviously still a student so this definitely isn't comprehensive! Hope this helps though!!

[geminiperson]

Life Update

So I've been both busy and dead (thanks depression) and unfortunately this means no typing. However, things have finally started to get to a version of normal I can live with, and I am extremely comfortable with it. With that in mind, I figure life updates are in order, and reasonably needed since a decent amount has happened. Rather than trying to do that in some mad and disorganized group of sentences, it's list time! That's right, enough has happened, that I have a list of things to go through.

1. Cats!

The cats are fine. Healthy, impressively strong according to the vet, and happy. I also found out recently that they will need some necessary changes as part of one of my other life updates, but for now, they are spoiled rotten and enjoying having me home all the time (this is also because of another of my life updates). As of now, the only major change is Poppie getting a medication that I have the joy of giving him in the morning, which is super fun and definitely not an irritation, but, it turns out he has asthma, so I'd rather have a one minute daily challenge so that he can breathe with no trouble.

2. Family

Also a small update, I had a chance to spend time with my beloved sister recently. She doesn't get a chance to visit often, so we got in some dinner and lunch, enjoyed some time at a festival, and enjoyed the vibe of local arts and music, all while being sarcastic smart asses to one another the whole time. The rest of my family isn't going through to much of a change. My youngest sibling is growing up, my second youngest is graduating, and the second oldest (I'm the eldest of all) exists outside of my space, and I'm good with that. My mom and Stepdad are getting into pre-retirement, which is a validating, but also somewhat interesting change to experience. I think the biggest change for them as of late is getting accustomed to dealing with their age, aka medical things shifting and altering their daily lives.

3. Mental Health

Oh man, so much on this one. So one of my biggest hurtles, and the thing that messes with my ability to sit and write for extended periods of time is my absolutely tanked mental health. The thing that has impacted this the most as of late has been and continues to be work, which is also changing (more on that later). My mental well being has been utterly horrible as of late, between extreme shifts in mood that were causing me to just kinda shut down mentally. No matter what way I looked at it, there was no question that things could not continue as they were. The extreme volatility of my customer base, the pressures of higher ups to achieve when given no resources to do so, and trying without success to find a new job without success for almost a year and a half. I had crashed long ago, and with the state of the world, something I refuse to ignore, making it all the worse just for how bad certain things are, the more I was just vegetating and rotting when I wasn't fulfilling basic functions at work and in life. In general, things were pretty rough. But, things are improving. I mean this seriously when I say, changing one thing will in fact make the biggest difference when you need it the most. I am in the midst of those changes still, but have been given a unique and positive opportunity to change for the better, and I'm welcoming it with open arms.

4. Work

So the big update is, I lost my old job! No seriously, it's gone. I have one last day in the very near future, where I will be finishing my tenure, but as of now, I am no longer there, and truthfully, it was one of the best changes I could have asked for. Obviously, this was extremely stressful. I can't go into particulars for legal reasons, but changes were made that meant that I would not be able to continue with my current position. Thankfully, after a very short stint of anticipating unemployment, my previously mentioned job search also came to an end and I started with a small tech start up that I actually believe will make some decent changes for the better in my life. I am absolutely ecstatic to not be at my old job, which was unbelievably damaging to my mental health, and while I also found out that they had done other things that directly impacted me, I was able to resolve all of these things, and I'm looking forward to a reasonably bright future. The new job is still customer service, but absolutely no sales, and I only took a minor pay cut, which, since I'm working full time again, won't have any impact on my overall quality of life. It helps that I will be cashing out my retirement plan that was being handled by my old job, which will substantially bolster my savings and resolve all existing debts, so in reality I won't experience any negatives from my short term pay crunch, but on top of that, I am now working from home full time remote with a mobile laptop. So if I so choose, so long as I have a stable internet connection, I could absolutely go traveling about with no trouble, which I must say is a rather enticing prospect. I might take the initiative and go visit some friends that I've held off seeing for a while, find a little bit of joy in my daily life again, and even (gasp) enjoy life just a little more. All seriousness, this job change was absolutely wonderful to me, and I have to say, being able to properly set up my work station on the companies dime was a refreshing experience. All in all, looking forward to being financially comfortable, and saving for my final life update.

5. Moving

Those who know me well know that I want to move abroad. There are a mix of factors, but the short version of things is, I hate living in the US, I feel like there are a large number of things that I and many like minded people have actively opposed that the government continues to do, and after taking some time to really de-colonize my way of thinking, I realize that the opportunities I would be afforded outside of the US are considerably better than what I'm currently dealing with. After intense deliberation, I was slowly reaching my final deadline to determine where I wanted to move, because figuring out my destination was the most important detail in determining everything else needed to move forward. Funny enough, it wasn't until I started writing this life update that I really focused on it, and after really seeing the details, realizing that what I wanted, what I needed, and what interested me most were all available in one place: Greece! My love for Grecian historical culture, especially because of my beliefs in Hellenic polytheism, along with my love of the food and more modern culture from my experiences with other folks from around the Mediterranean Sea means that I understand the place better than almost anywhere else I would want to go. Add to this that I prefer to have particular geographical features that are all present (Mountains, Large bodies of water, and Forests) and an active commuting culture (Athens listed as being a highly walkable city) and other opportunities like the Antikythera Expat program that pays digital nomads (which I can now be) to move to a small island off the mainland and boost the population and fix up a house, means that I would have the chance to finally move out of country to a place that would be of great joy. With that said, it also means learning a new language, getting a long term visa sponsorship, getting my cats chipped and passport eligible, and of course getting myself ready for a major undertaking. That said, I'm excited. I want to move out of the country, yes, but it's more than just seeing a green patch of grass on the other side of the ocean. I want to experience new places unlike where I've been. I've traveled most of the US, and as strange as this may seem, I love quite a bit of it (the state of Texas and New Jersey excluded, because fuck 'em). But with that said, the things that I love most about the US are things that come from other places. People with diverse backgrounds, foods that taste nothing like the things I grew up with, people speaking languages that I haven't heard. So the idea of staying in the US long term, especially considering the ever present fascist regimes that I absolutely cannot abide encroaching upon my day to day is, without question, completely untenable. All those things I love get eradicated by fascist regimes. So choosing to leave, especially knowing that I've done what I can, and collectively continue to do with other like minded individuals, makes it clear that my work is going to waste. It's not unreasonable to choose to leave, and in so doing, create a pathway for others to learn how to do this as well.

Well, that might have gotten a touch heavy toward the end, but hey, life is complex, and not without a fair share of challenges. The updates will keep rolling. I'm putting together my new one year plan, which goes into effect starting in July! It details out the big steps to learning and preparing for my move, changes to my day to day for work, and the opportunity to leave my giant corporate job for one that is slightly smaller and slightly more pleasant. All in all, the change in the air feels good, and I'm looking forward to doing more.

Here's to the beginnings and endings of many things.

Gemini

[themanicnami]

READINGS OPEN INDEFINITELY

Hey guys! So as you know I’ve been dealing with some unfortunate circumstances due to COVID-19. Permanent lay-off from my main job effective as of Sept. 28th and unemployment in my state near impossible to get. I have an appointment with them but it will no longer let people file online. You can only do it by appointment now.

I know a lot of others are suffering severely as well - but if anyone has any spare income and wants a reading please feel free to IM me or send me an ask or (preferably) send me a submission form.

For readings I will need an email address to send the invoice to.

The Readings I Offer

Tarot Readings

A simple thing that many offer but with my readings you will receive images of the spreads and cards taken and any other addition items added (crystals drawing, colormancy, etc)

1 Card Reading - $1.50

3 Card Reading - $3.00

5 Card Reading - $5.00

10 Card Reading - $8.00

Custom Spreads or Requests - Up for Discussion

Past Life Readings

My bread and butter! Every interested in delving down into the lives you may have experienced in the past? Are you wanting to do some soul searching or get back to some of your old energy of those times? Well these readings are wonderful for self discovery, self reflection and to improve yourself over flaws of history.

Standard Reading (5 Cards) - $5.00

The standard past life reading is where I do a 5 card spread based off of the custom spread I created personally for past life readings. These readings will consist of: early life, teenage life, young adult life, adult life, and late life. Additional notes may be added to the reading by me.

Full Reading (10 Cards) - $8.50

The standard past life reading is where I do a 10 card spread based off of the custom spread I created personally for past life readings. These readings will consist of: early life, teenage life, young adult life, adult life, late life, how you were seen by others, your inner self/personality, your purpose in this life, if you met any of your soulmates, and how this life effects your current one. Additional notes may be added to the reading by me.

Full Reading + 3 Cards - $11.00

This reading is like the full reading, but with the addition of 3 more cards added to the end of the spread. These cards can be picked from a list of specifics that you wish to know more about this past life for more specific info. You may choose which of the three areas of the 10 you wish to add a card (or cards) to for more detail.

Full Reading + 5 Cards - $12.50

This reading is identical to the full reading with the addition of another 5 card spread afterwards. This additional 5 card spread will help us determine in more detail your past life in specific aspects: the time period, the location, your lifestyle (job, family, social class), your biggest fears and your goals/dreams of this life.

Small Reading - $3.00

This is my affordable cheaper option for those with a tighter budget. It is a smaller version of my standard reading featuring the first 5 cards of the standard reading: early life, teenage life, young adult life, adult life and late life.

Colormancy

My readings using custom colormancy cards made from my color theory test kit. With these colors much like other forms of card readings, I will use them and their alignments to draw answers for your questions or inquiries.

One Card - $1.00

Two Cards - $1.50

Three Cards - $2.50

Five Cards - $4.00

Crystal Throwing

A crystal throwing reading is using a bunch of different crystals and a large grid and tossing randomly selected crystals onto the grid and interpreting that for divination purposes. You may also do single drawn stones from a bag or box for single simple answers.

How the reading will work:

I will receive your question(s) and then using them as a guide will throw the crystals I draw onto my grid. I will interpret the patter, placement and the crystals correspondences to give you a detailed reading. I will also take a picture of the grid and the crystals upon it.

Pricing:

The price for a standard crystal reading will be $7.00 and for every additional throwing or question you would like to add is another $3.00.

I also have an option for if you want a Large Throwing consisting of answering 5 questions and taking the use of many more crystals than a standard throwing it is $11.50.

I also offer single stone drawings for $1.00 a stone.

Energy Readings

My energy readings are not the same as aura readings, I will read your energy via what visions I get, imagery, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings. I type out my readings while I experience them (likely with my eyes closed) and will go back through to correct spelling errors before sending. Sometimes these readings delve into divination other times they don’t. I will then take what I see, feel and witness and interpret it more deeply for you and send that.

The price is 6.50 for a basic energy reading. A full detailed or extended one with additional tarot cards, crystals or other added insights can be requested and price discussed.

If you need more details on energy readings feel free to look at my Energy Reading Page

Pendulum Readings

A simple reading but good for anyone who needs simple brief answers.

One Question = $1.00

Each additional Question = $1.00

5 Question Bundle = $4.50

10 Question Bundle = $9.00

Spirit or Entity Communication = IM me to discuss possible price depending on entity/spirit, length of reading and number of questions

Deity Communication/Entity Communication

Need some help communicating with a new deity, entity or spirit? I am happy to do my best to assist you with this!

Basic Deity Communication Spread - $12.00

This reading will be done with a spread I have made and used for deity communication to contact and get information from the deity. Additional cards may be added as needed each for $1.

Add Energy Reading - add. $5.00

If needed or desired I can add on an energy reading of you and possibly the deity/entity itself onto the standard basic reading above for an additional fee

Shufflemancy

A simple reading using the playlists I have saved and relating song themes, lyrics and emotions to determine the future or advice.

Price: $4.00 for a standard, $6.50 for two songs/extended reading

Readings are currently what are allowing me to buy groceries, pay off my transit pass and purchase necessities and stay ontop of things while my part-time job is covering rent at this time. I do not know if my job that let me go will open positions and call me in the future, they seemed to let everyone go/position removal as of this past week as an indication they may be shutting down until tourism improves. 

So if you are interested in readings please feel free to reach out and IM me or send me an ask/submission. I just need email addresses to send the invoices.

Readings usually take between 7 to 14 days and they are done Sundays through Tuesdays as to not interfere with my part-time hours.

Thank you all for helping me with this. If you cannot request a commission, please reblog and signal boost this if you can. Money will be tight, my city is about to fully shut down with little to no support from our local government. I also accept tips through my Ko-Fi page as well.

[katieskarlette]

Shadows Rising: A Reaction Post

Short, mostly non-spoilery version:  I liked it overall.  I give it a solid B, maybe a B+.

I was disappointed in how little Nathanos and/or Sylvanas content there was, but I think proclamations of the ship’s doom are premature.  

I’m intrigued by the first rumblings of new character development for certain characters, especially Anduin, Alleria and Turalyon.

I was rooting for Talanji so much.  She’s great. Zekhan is a cinnamon roll too pure for this world.  Sira was kind of boring. Fairshaw is so darn heartwarming I can’t stand it. I like Bwonsamdi more now. The lack of Wrathion is unsurprising but unfortunate. Nothing new with Tyrande but she’s already poised for major development in Shadowlands.

Much longer, spoilery version below.

This ended up being more of a ramble than an essay, but there’s a lot of disjointed thoughts pinging around in my head, so let’s dive in.

Overall, I enjoyed Shadows Rising.  Was it the best book ever?  No.  Not even the best Warcraft book ever.  But it was an enjoyable read.  It’s always a treat to get into the heads of characters we mostly know in passing from in-game events.  There are internal, emotional beats that cannot easily be explored in the game, and the books are a way to build the world and the characters in a more introspective, slow-paced manner.  I like that.  (That’s not to say there are no action scenes, because there definitely are.)

Talanji, Jaina, Zekhan, and Anduin were all written well and sympathetically.  Maiev’s only in a couple scenes, but she felt off to me.  Nathanos was very in-character, in all his snide, sour glory.   Flynn and Mathias are great together.

The pacing was fine.  The descriptions were good, and it all felt grounded in the game world (i.e. landmarks, ambiance, the ridiculous amount of stairs in Daz’alor...)  Each of the Horde leaders got a moment or two in the spotlight.  Despite a fair amount of chapters about Anduin, Alleria, Turalyon, and Jaina, it still felt like a Horde-centric book to me.  Not that that’s a bad thing.

Prologue:  Gayness detected on page 8!  And it’s even something I kind of inadvertently predicted.  In my reaction post for Before the Storm I wrote, “ In this book alone, it would have been so easy to have that blacksmith bringing a helmet as a gift to his long-lost Forsaken husband instead of friend.”  That’s basically what we have here.  I don’t know if they were married, and neither were blacksmiths, but the Westfall moonshiner describes one of the Forsaken slain in Arathi as “the best man I ever knew and loved.”  Tada!  See how easy it was?  Add Jago x Wilmer to the growing list of LGBT rep in Azeroth.  (Even if they’re super minor characters in the long run, it’s still great to see.)

There might be some kind of parallel to be drawn between Alleria failing Anduin (by not finding/killing Sylvanas) and Nathanos failing Sylvanas (by not killing Bwonsamdi) but my brain is too overloaded from binge-reading to articulate it right now.  Both failed their king or queen, but both were also given nearly impossible tasks. 

Alleria and Turalyon are definitely being set up as antagonists.  We are clearly supposed to side with Jaina on this, and be uncomfortable (if not outright horrified) at their torture methods.  It’s especially disturbing how they use their respective void and light powers to accomplish their goals.  I mean, on one hand it’s great that both sides of the great cosmic divide can work together, and their marriage seems stronger than it was for awhile there, but yeesh...can you not torture people?  I know, ends justify the means, slippery slope, greater evil, blah blah, but still...that’s not okay.  It’s yet another sign that the Light is not necessarily good (or the void necessarily evil).

I welcome conflict within the Alliance, though.  That’s been the Horde’s thing for long enough.  Time to see how the blue side deals with its rifts.

In chapter 2 Nathanos is annoyed when a dreadtick flies by his head.  What, was it too similar to a bird for his liking?  Heh. 

All that time in Nazmir, and we didn’t get to see a single crawg!  Harumph.

It took three chapters and 39 pages to finally get something from Nathanos' perspective, and he was much more scarce going forward than I had hoped.  The bits we did get from his perspective were great and in-character, but I wanted to get into his head more.  Most of his scenes were from the POV of Sira or the troll villain instead, and while Apari was a good character I find Sira to be pretty one-dimensional. 

I kind of got paternal vibes from Nathanos toward Sira, though.  He was like, “I’ve been undead a lot longer than you; I know how to handle the bloodlust and such.  Get it out of your system at appropriate times but learn to control yourself.  There’s more to (un)life than slaughtering people.”  She herself, though, was just “Rawr, I hate everything and want to kill anything that moves.”  I mean, I get that she’s been through some traumatic stuff, but I didn’t find myself invested in her at all.

Page 42, as a bunch of trolls are about to be slaughtered:  "Hungry birds circled, expectant of a big meal, and Nathanos so hated to disappoint."  WHAT?  Nathanos wanted to do something nice for BIRDS?  I know, the phrasing fits with his dry, sarcastic sense of humor, but considering the running joke about him hating birds, it still made me go, “Huh?”

Chapter 5 (and later on, as it turns out):  Zekhan having a soft spot for kids is too precious for this world.

Page 51:  Thalyssra's eyes were "sparkling as she gazed across the room at Lor'themar."  Awwwwwww.   There was a surprising amount of ship fodder in this book overall, with Lor’themar x Thalyssra, Turalyon x Alleria, Fairshaw, and Zehkhan x Talanji all getting a moment or two (or more.) 

Chapter 6:  Anduin says, "Turalyon, take Alleria Windrunner and investigate these deaths."  You know, Alleria...YOUR WIFE?  I don't think you need to say her last name there, genius. 

While I’m being snarky about the editing, there were at least two times where the word “grieves” was used instead of “greaves.”  I spotted a couple other little things that a better editor (or one with more time, maybe it was rushed, I don’t know) would have caught.

Chapter 7:  More matter-of-fact LGBT inclusion for minor characters, this time a lesbian troll couple who want to marry.  Yes, thank you Blizzard, keep it up.

Chapter 8:  If you’re going to make the “Zappy Boy” nickname for Zekhan canon, having Bwonsamdi be the one to wink at the camera and use it was a great decision.  I can totally imagine him saying it.

We learn the name of Varok’s wife/Dranosh’s mother:  Remda.  Although I read elsewhere that the vision Zekhan saw of the Saurfang family in the afterlife was just Bwonsamdi’s B.S., it was still cool.

Chapter 13:  Nathanos wearing cologne?  Love it.  And it’s not even to cover up the rotting smell, because apparently his new body doesn’t stink like some undead; it just doesn’t smell like a living person, either, and some find it unnerving.  So he wears cologne.  That’s such a delightful little detail, and surprisingly considerate of him.

Sira complaining about bugs:  "We'll be eaten alive."  Uh no, you'd have to BE ALIVE for that to happen. Tsk.

Nathanos being called "the pale rider" makes me think of old cowboy movies.  Like, “You greenhorns better clear out; the Pale Rider is comin’ to town and there’s gonna be trouble.  Go wake up the sheriff.”  

Sira says that while on the voyage to Zandalar the dark rangers liked to tell the tale of how Nathanos was promoted to Ranger Lord by Sylvanas.  I'm surprised he lets them gossip like that!  His quests in vanilla made it seem he wanted to keep those parts of his past on the down-low, at least from the player.

Chapter 14:  Thrall's second kid is Rehze.  *blink*  Reh-zee?  Rez?  Ruh-zay?  I guess she’s not named after anyone.  After he named his son Durak (sort of after Durotan) I assumed he’d continue the pattern with kid #2.  Maybe she’s named after one of Aggra’s relatives.  (Later I read on Wowpedia that the author actually said she dislikes the “fan service” trend of naming children after other characters so she just picked a random orcish name.  I don’t think it’s fan service, because lots of real-life people do it, but okay.  Fair enough.)

Speaking of orcish names, there’s an orc page helping out the council named Gunk.  Like, what you clean out from under your fingernails after gardening.  Gunk.  LOL

Aww, that’s no fun...Maiev's wearing a cape trimmed in white fur, not daggers.  What happened to her impeccable/deadly fashion sense?

Chapter 16:  Zekhan starting to clap at Talanji's speech and then stopping and shrinking back when he realized no one else was applauding was so freaking adorable.

Chapter 17:  Fairshaw, full steam ahead!!!  Their chemistry is everything I hoped it would be.  Learning a little about Flynn’s tragic past was both fascinating and heartbreaking.  (We learned his mom’s name: Lyra Fairwind.  R.I.P.)

Chapter 18:  Proodmoore keep has a gallery with floor to ceiling oil paintings of the Proudmoore family, extended family, and beloved friends.  It now includes Anduin.  I can’t help thinking that, in a different timeline, Arthas’ portrait would have been there.

Will wonders never case?  Ji Firepaw actually gets to do stuff!!!  GASP!

"Thrall understood that to other humans Wrynn was said to be pleasing-looking, but to the orc, Anduin simply looked like a small, pink boy swallowed by clunky armor."  So it’s canon that Anduin is good-looking in-universe.  But LMAO at Thrall’s description.

Chapter 22:  From Shaw’s POV, "These odds ranked pretty low...  Maybe just above the time he had relied completely on a shoddy network of spies embedded in a cheese business."  OMG leave Elling Trias alone!  He did his best!  LOL

Shaw wanting to hang out in a mountain meadow and whittle bird calls (perhaps even with a special someone) was so touchingly normal.  That’s the kind of characterization that the books are so much better at than the game.

I actually like Bwonsamdi more after reading this.  Not that I disliked him before, but I didn’t have a strong sense of him due to not playing Horde as much in BFA.  He’s a well-done gray character:  not good, not evil, insightful but a smartass, part of the great cycle, out for himself but also taking his duties seriously (saving troll souls from the Maw.) 

I’m not entirely sure that we needed as much from Thrall’s POV as we got.  I mean, sure, he’s a familiar character with ties to a lot of others, so it was easy to drop him into situations, and his ties to Jaina made cross-faction communication easier, but he didn’t seem as relevant to the lore of Zandalar and the Shadowlands as some other characters.

Maiev seemed OOC, especially in the Stockades scene.  I know one of the themes of the book was “people change,” and I suppose I should be happy that she has a more moderate viewpoint nowadays, dialing back the Lust For Vengeance Meter from eleven to maybe a five or a six, but it didn’t feel like Maiev.  Especially because her message of “maybe don’t go overboard with this vengeance thing” was aimed at Tyrande, of all people, someone who Maiev has had quite legitimate reasons to dislike for a very, very long time.  I could see her maybe mellowing out a little in front of fellow Wardens, but Tyrande?  Eh, it didn’t feel right to me.

No surprises from Tyrande in this.  She’s still steely cold, vengeance-obsessed, consumed by anger.  Not that I blame her, but it’s not healthy.  I know we’ll be exploring her situation more in Shadowlands, so this was more of a reminder/reinforcement of where she is right now.  It was kind of funny how Thrall, Baine and Calia tried to talk to her and she just gave them the stink eye and the silent treatment, though.

I’m fine with Anduin exploring his dark side a bit more, as long as they don’t go overboard with it.  I like him as an earnest, good-hearted character.  It’s only natural to test your limits, though, especially in times of crisis.  Power corrupts, and he’s got plenty of it, both politically and magically, so I can understand Jaina and Mathias being a bit uneasy.  Add to that the increasing themes about the Light not being as benevolent as we originally assumed, and there’s potential for interesting plot there.  In the end I want Anduin to stay firmly on the side of good, empathy, compassion, etc., but a deviation into the shadows along the way isn’t a bad thing for the story.

I imagine every single person who read about Anduin sneaking off to the Lion’s Pride Inn in Goldshire smirked about that place’s reputation on certain RP realms.  I was surprised he didn’t find scantily-clad elves and draenei dancing on the furniture.  And then it turns out Jaina was there, too.  Awkward!

Why, oh why couldn’t we have had a scene with Anduin and Wrathion hanging out (incognito, of course) in a tavern?  That was their thing in MoP, and now with Anduin desperately wanting to get away from his duties for awhile and soak up some tavern ambiance it would have been perfect.  Let Anduin show off the best taverns Stormwind has to offer.  Even though Wrathion was as much a guest at the Tavern in the Mists as Anduin was, he acted like he owned the place and Anduin was his guest, so let them turn the tables and have Anduin play host.  There could be jokes about how he better not punch Wrathion again or they’ll get kicked out for starting a bar fight.  They could have still seen the young recruits, ran into Jaina, etc.  But Anduin really needs a buddy to hang out with right now.  

And you can’t tell me after Nya’lotha fell Wrathion just disappeared again and never at least visited Stormwind to tell grandiose tales about how he stabbed an Old God, it was so heroic, and he wasn’t scared at all, and those mean adventurers were so quick to believe he’d been corrupted, but he hadn’t, and did you know Azshara was there?  And then N’Zoth almost won but KERPOW LAZERS and oh Anduin you should have seen it, etc. etc. etc.

I should be used to being disappointed about Wrathion’s absence by now, but there are SO MANY MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!

Sigh.  Moving on.

Being exposed to spoilers meant I wasn’t fooled by it, but it was still a deft bit of writing to have the dark rangers drink poison when cornered by Horde soldiers, then mention Nathanos having a vial in his coat, which he drinks when defeated--making the unspoiled reader assume he’s killing himself--only for it to be a kind of liquid hearthstone attuned to Sylvanas.  Had I not known that he survived the book I would have freaked out there.

So, like, was Bolvar just sitting there on the ground awkwardly eavesdropping while Sylvanas and Nathanos talked/argued?  Or did he use that time to sneak away unnoticed?  LOL

Which brings us to the epilogue that’s caused so much hand wringing and wailing from my fellow Blightrunner shippers.  It wasn’t the openly sentimental interaction between them that I had hoped for, but I honestly didn’t read it as the doom of the ship.  A bump, at worst.

[If you’re not interested in the relationship between Nathanos and Sylvanas, or if you’re one of those people who simply hate his character, you can skip the rest of this post.]

First of all, Sylvanas had just broken the Helm of Domination.  That was a hugely significant thing to do, both for her personally and in the cosmic scheme of things.  Her state of mind at that moment had to have been in a turmoil.  So if she was a little distracted and tense, I think that’s quite understandable.

Second, I saw other fans being upset that she threatened/wanted to strike him.  That’s not how I read it at all.  “Sylvanas could strike him, scream and hollow out his soul, but it would not correct the failing.”  She’s not saying she wants to do that, just that she could.  The instinct to lash out in violence is ingrained in all the undead; death knights have to do it or they go mad.  So for her mind to go there in a moment of high emotion seems natural to me.  She doesn’t actually attack him or verbally/physically threaten him.  People say things like “I could have killed my brother for eating the last slice of cake” or “I could’ve strangled my co-worker when she spoiled the ending of the movie” and it’s not literal.

Third, she doesn’t say “go away, I never want to see you again.”  She says “Go where you will, Nathanos, but do not be idle” and “I expect you will return to me with means to prevent [Bwonsamdi’s] meddling.”  So essentially she’s saying, “Fine, go home, regroup, come up with Plan B, and if it’s not possible to destroy Bwonsamdi at least concentrate on countering him.”  Also note that she still considers the operation to be theirs, not just hers:  “This was a blow, but one she felt sure they could overcome.”  That tells me she expects to work with him in the future.

Fourth, and granted this is before she learns of his failure, but she’s clearly happy to have him there when he first arrives.  “’My champion,’ Sylvanas purred.  ‘Your timing could not be better.  Tell me of your victory as we take these first steps together.’”  She wanted to cross into the Shadowlands with him at her side.  Hell, that’s bridal imagery...crossing the threshold together, and all that.  The only reason she tells him to go is because his work isn’t done and she still needs him on Azeroth.  But she explicitly says “I expect you will return to me.” 

Fifth, in the line from her POV about how “the unjust ladder of their lives must be dismantled,” the “they” she’s referring to is all of the denizens of Azeroth, true, but I think there’s also a tinge of bitterness there as she looks back on her own life, and her life with Nathanos.  Destiny has not been kind to either of them.

Sixth, she says “My path lies ahead” as she prepares to cross into the Shadowlands.  It’s a reminder of the scale of the forces she is trying to manipulate.  When faced with the potential fates of all the souls in the universe, her own regrets are insignificant.  She can’t stay on Azeroth any longer, even if some part of her does want to just chill out on a beach somewhere with Nathanos and watch his blighthounds chase seagulls.  She thinks “It would not be easy, but then, her mission required great sacrifice.”  Like leaving him behind.

Even this part can be interpreted different ways:  “She heard the note of hope in his voice, fragile as a fledgling dropped from the next.”  Putting aside the humor of comparing bird-hating Nathanos to a fledgling, we don’t get a value judgment about the comparison.  Sylvanas doesn’t think about him sympathetically, wanting to protect him in a vulnerable moment, but she also doesn’t think, “Geez, what a pathetic weakling.”  It goes back to that bit in Warbringers about how she can’t kill hope.  And she can’t.  Here, again, no matter how bleak things are, no matter how displeased she is at his failure, he still has hope.  And she needs that, whether she believes it or not.

When she “flicked her fingers, as if ridding herself of a speck of muck” that can be interpreted as her thinking of him in a derogatory way, but she was also talking about Bwonsamdi in the same breath so I can choose to believe that’s who she was being dismissive of.

I don’t know.  I get that some of the language is discouraging.  She describes him as having “blubbering lips” and she’s definitely not happy with him.  But these two have been through a lot, and their bond has remained strong.  I’m sure this isn’t their first fight, or the first time he’s disappointed her.  This isn’t the end for them.  Just another bump on a very long highway they’ve traveled together.

...

OMG this has turned into a monster of a post, rambling all over the place.  I hope it’s coherent enough to follow.  I’m just in lore overload at the moment (and enjoying every second.)  I know I’m forgetting things I wanted to talk about, too, but I’m going to go ahead and post it as it is.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 16

Into the Woods

We rejoin our Bad Kids (minus Riz, who we’ll get to in a bit) who are still on the Goldenrod while chaos happens around them. Fig adds to the chaos by successfully (with a 30!) pretending to be one of Goldenhoard’s minions to no real plot significant effect. I just feel the need to mention every time Fig rolls a 30+. The kids get Gilear out of his hiding place--a sarcophagus--right before it’s launched out as ammo. His safety proves short-lived however because, when Ayda pings that Riz is no longer on the same plane as them, Fabian recklessly sails the Goldenrod directly into Riz’s last known location, instantly killing both himself and Gilear. So he’s for sure back to his old self. 

Kristen brings them back up and passes some heals out generally while she’s at it. Meanwhile, with a Nat 20, Adaine fully Oracles out and knows exactly where Riz was being held. There, they find a smear of blood (which they taste???? even though they know the disease is communicable by blood???) and Riz’s briefcase, but no body. Plus Tracker smells Celestial energy and Ayda senses conjuration magic. But all that subtle sleuthing is made pointless by Kristen getting a Nat 20 (of course) to just stumble into the next room and find a room full of footage of exactly what happened. Wild. 

Bill can’t get them to where Riz is. The best he can do is get them to the Astral Plane. Fig remembers to check on the stuff she stole from Vraz. Baby just got a to-do list but Fig conveniently grabbed a scroll which will create a portal back to Arborly. Then, they cast Zone of Truth on Goldenhoard who gives them this information before they get to the Astral Plane:

Arianwyn was never working with him.

He repeats what we already knew about the NK giving him a coin as part of them working together in the past. He adds that his money being spent would mean it would come back to him 5 fold and also increase the spread of the NK’s power. 

He thinks the NK is a creep and says he never talks and only appears in weird dreams. At Fig’s prompting, he says he does look a lot like the skeletal figure in Adaine’s Scry on the Shadowcat. He also says he never dealt directly with the Shadowcat and can’t see her in the photo. However, the Shadowcat did put him in touch with Aelwen. 

The NK had more followers in Elmville but Goldenhoard doesn’t know who else was because he refused to join the Shadowcat network, which was a requirement. (I wonder if they include whoever the couple in Sandra-Lnn’s past was)

He let the NK have Sylvere when he was taking over the world because he didn’t care about it. 

Meanwhile, our little Angel Riz is en route to heaven with his dad who is happy-shocked to see him. Pok calls in that he’s coming in with a “good aligned, possible CI,” and it’s immediately clear based on the reaction of the person on the other side of the call that Pok talks about Riz all the time in glowing terms. They arrive in heaven and Riz sees that he has a little chair set up at a copy of his grave so he can sit and listen when Riz and Sklonda come and talk to him. Ally is almost crying. Lou is almost crying. I’m almost crying. 

Heaven--or at least this version of heaven--is set up like an office but outside. I’m picturing the classic Window’s XP background. We learn that Pok is a part of a special force called the Lower Planar Recon Task Force. Basically, it’s full of traditionally evil aligned races (like goblins and gnolls) who are perfect for infiltrating places like Hell. We also see that Pok has a plaque for getting his death avenged by his son.

Anyway, we see where Riz gets his attitude from when Pok kicks puts his gameface on (“Clues first, friends later.”) and has an extended puzzle solving scene with Riz (sprinkled with some father/son stuff). Highlights:

Heaven actually didn’t know about the Kalina=Disease thing. Riz and the gang cracked that for them. Kalina doesn’t ping a Detect Good/Evil but Pok thinks she would ping a Detect Poison/Disease.

He started seeing Kalina about 22 years ago after a mission with the Third Ring (see below). No, he didn’t cheat on Sklonda. If it happened via sexual contact, it would have been pre-meeting her.  

Kalina can’t pick things up but she can create the sensation of weight and substance by hijacking your nervous system. So, to his knowledge at the time, Pok had touched her.

He was introduced to Kalina by someone he already knew and trusted from the Third Ring (Falinel government agency). 

Kalina doesn’t have godly intelligence or omniscience. The way she blew her cover was accidentally mentioning seeing something firsthand she would have had no way of seeing (a river being in a certain place). He didn’t call her out then but he clocked it and started looking into her extra-governmentally.

Kalina got Sklonda her job in Elmville--which directly put Pok in the path of Goldenhoard, who ate him. He also strongly suspects that he got Pok’s citizenship revoked--an action that allowed Goldenhoard to harm him.

Pok thinks that, despite the Bad Kids’ focus on the sex aspect of the Shadowcat plague, it’s a lot more general than that (see eg: the life transference spell moving it from Sandra-Lynn to Tracker). 

Father/Son Interlude #1: Riz mentions that all of his friends are super horny all the time and he’s not about that. Pok says that he was a super late bloomer so it’s fine if he’s not into that now or if he’s not into it period--though he selfishly does want grandkids. 

Father/Son Interlude #2: Pok also shares a story about his own relationship with his superficially distant but actually loving 1st gen immigrant dad the twin theses of which are “People show love in different ways,” and “Work is an act of love,” a sentiment that workaholic Riz appreciates. 

Most demons can see Kalina. 

Pok was in hell undercover to try and figure out how devils had been successful in keeping Kalina at bay. He showed up in the Bottomless Pit but he was trapped there for a while--presumably because Gorthalax was in a gem at that time (also Riz mentions for the first time that Sklonda is dating him which he takes OK). 

Pok has a new body so Kalina can’t tap into it. Kalina must have learned where Pok was because Sklonda infected Gorthalax once they started dating and she got the info from him. And since Kalina spurred him to come rescue Pok than she probably wanted him to blow his cover. 

Kalina avoided having her picture taken. Once it was taken, she wasn’t able to do certain things she was able to before.

Pok says that Riz probably won’t be able to visit him again without pretty powerful magic, but Riz isn’t too concerned because he has some pretty powerful friends. And, with that, Pok offers to hire Riz as a consultant for heaven which, you can imagine, he is very here for. He takes his son to get suited up. 

Back with the other Bad Kids, they look at the assorted things Bill has looted and find some Holy Water, which they pocket, and a birthday present for Fig, which she is pretty easily convinced to open early. It’s a sick new bass which doubles as a literal axe (OK, not an axe, it has serrated edges, I just like the idea of an axe-axe) and can shatter rubies. They then say bye to Bill and get back to Arborly (with the Hangman who is still knocked out, but not destroyed like before).

The group collectively decides to leave Gilear in Arborly for both his safety and the safety of Kristen’s high level spell slots. Adaine takes some of his blood so she can Scry on him if necessary. Sandra-Lynn and Gilear exercise their parental rights to make their daughter feel awkward about her love interest. Speaking of said love interest, we learn what Ayda was working on in secret: a spell for Adaine! It’s called Adaine’s Furious Fists and it essentially lets her magic punch people. Adaine can punch people now! I mean, she’s been doing it since S1 but now she can do it effectually! Love that for her!      

Back to Riz. He’s in with an angel called Isosceles (think quasi-eldritch horror Biblical angel, not Halloween costume angel) who is like the Q of the squad. Riz gets hooked up with some new gear:

Trick bullets (like how Green Arrow has trick arrows)

A grappling gun attachment for his gun

Arcadian Watch: Equipped w/ a saw, laser (1d4 radiant dmg) and lockpick 

Seraphim Vest: Basically a wingsuit (temp fly speed of 40 but only laterally and down, not up)

Gregorian Tie: Equipped with a spy camera 

Once he’s suited up, Pok calls up a door that will get Riz back to the moment in time it was called. But, since they’re in no rush now, he asks Riz to take a walk with him and fill him in on some of the boring, mundane, unimportant stuff he missed from RIz’s childhood. It’s very sweet.

Afterwards, Riz pops back up in Arborly and everyone is super happy to see him. Riz almost blurts out what he learned about his dad but wisely moves the conversation to the Van where he tells them everything except the personal family stuff. Based on the info from Riz, Adaine thinks that Kalina was probably introduced into eleven society a couple hundred years ago by Landrynn Lear (fake cleric spreading the Kalina virus they learned about a few eps ago) so it’s not super weird Aelwen and Arianwyn would have been working with her. It’s less weird than Pok working than them. 

Kristen latches onto the part about the picture being taken of her taking away some of her power and they all do checks to puzzle that out. Adaine (with Arcana) realizes that Kalina has to maintain herself in all these people all the time and, if a picture is taken of her--has to make it so that she can be seen by all of those people at all times which is a permanent spell effect which is-as we learned earlier this season--very hard to pull off. Her not being able to do certain things once the pic was taken was probably just her losing power from the strain of this extra magical effect (my takeaway: don’t let her destroy that photo--or, use it as a bargaining chip). Kristen (with Religion) thinks the 4 transubstantiations (familiar to plague and spellbook to curse and so on) are curses which overlap and create synergy (my takeaway: take them out one by one and watch them exponentially drop off in effectiveness). Gorgug (with a Tinkerer’s check) surmises that the way to take the most pics of Kalina and weaken her would be to take a video of her and broadcast it to as many people as possible.    

Gorgug also has another thought: He wants to know if them having and spending their cursed money is actively endangering him. At the prospect, he decides to give all of his money away to the Tinkerer’s Hall (without telling them it’s dragon money, which means the curse won’t get passed on). Kristen, Fig, and Riz follow suit, much to Fabian’s shock and horror. Adaine opts to keep her money since she has no caring family to fall back on. 

They also--I’m just gonna bluntly say this insane thing that Ally conceived of--have another shrimp party which they livestream in hopes that it will go viral, gain a following, and then when they have video of Kalina, they can get lots of people to watch it. And you know what the craziest part is? It’s not a bad plan. It’s c r a z y, but not illogical. To quote Mr. Lee Mulligan, “The charity shrimp party goes super viral.” Amazing. 

The next day, Adaine brings back Boggy (who poofed in the last fight) as an owl so he’ll be a little safer while in Sylvere. Don’t worry, he’s still spherical as ever. The Hangman (now healed) stays behind, as does the Van--but they do take it actual gem out and take it with them. Baby is there and does come with them. Ayda and GaF also come at Fig’s request.

Fig is able to open a passage into Sylvere and they can instantly feel the ambient badness. They decide to start looking for the three things they need to make the Kalina Vaccine: Starmoth chrysalis, Herrowgray nectar, and Lundgreen pollen. The jocks and Boggy go for the chrysalis, Sandra-Lynn, Fig, Adaine, and Ayda go for the nectar, while Kristen, Riz, and Tracker look for the pollen.

The boys don’t find anything but, suddenly, there’s an image of a super creepy witch’s cottage in the gem, and Zathriel (the Celestial inside) bugs out before the gem goes dark. And Ragh is suddenly gone.   

In her group, Sandra-Lynn flies off on Baxter in search of the nectar but the flapping noises that should be happening suddenly stop. Ayda offers to fly after her but then also becomes distressed, asking why they’re in a house (the others can’t see it) before also vanishing.  

Kristen, Riz, and Tracker are looking around stagnant water for the pollen and they see Kalina’s reflection in the water. Kristen starts to film her on her crystal. Kalina (who they can all see at the same time for once) says that in Sylvere, nightmares are real, something demonstrated when Tracker fully wolfs out without the presence of an actual full moon. Kristen tries to Dimension Door out but they're too far in. They try to subdue her but Trcker vanishes into moths (?). Kalina says that Tracker is chasing down what she thinks is Kristen to kill her (which would make sense as being her nightmare). She says that she said she’d kill them if they got into the forest and here they are. She does a little damage to Riz to underline the statement and Riz starts recording her secretly. Kalina is doing small bits of damage (like 1-4 I think) but it’s enough that it will kill them before they have the chance to make tinctures. 

The jocks find the chrysalis and then look for the others. Fig tries to use Ada’s feather to find her but, like the sapphire, it’s dead. Through Boggy, Adaine can see the jocks are flipping out and find the nectar and go find them.

Kristen casts Greater Restoration of Riz and tells him to find Tracker. The attacks stop on Riz and double on Kristen. She’ll be dead before she can employ any kind of healing mojo than can help significantly and the other healer is MIA. Everyone is running to find each other and then they suddenly hear, emanating from every corner of the forest creepy laughter and they all see a crowned skull. Concerning! 

Detention

Fabian for Crashing the Goldenrod

This was almost like the ribbon dancing sequence except Kristen had something to potentially gain from that and this was an absolutely insane course of action for no particular reason. 

Honor Roll

Kristen for Using Her One Greater Restoration on Riz

What a quintessential healer move. Having one heal and giving it away to your party member. Listen, she may have rejected Helio, but he picked her for a reason. Girl is a BAMF.  

 Random Thoughts

“You can't make these things up. You can. We did.”

Actual Crazy Person Bill Seacaseter: I had to kill Gilear as a matter of course but I love Gilear!

Bill tells Gilear to kill any man who looks askance at Hilariel. Fig (mirroring a comment to Bill from last season) questions what he should do if any woman looks at her. An enthusiastic, “Dealer’s choice!” is the answer.  

"If you die in hell do you die in real life?"

Is the message of this season just “Vaccinate your kids”?

Fabian offers to threaten someone who’s bullying Gilear. You know what that is? Growth.

Bill brought the Bad Kids to the Astral Plane but they wanted to get back to Arborly ASAP. I wonder if there was something Brennan expected them to do there and they didn’t.

Fig ripping the scroll was wild but, honestly, I might have thought that was how it worked too. It’s for sure a thing sometimes. But, in a similar vein, very concerned Fig is going to accidentally shatter Gorthalax’s gem prematurely with that bass. Feel like she’s not 100% clear on how that works.   

“I don’t have a crush one anyone. I just want to be rich.”

Riz took over from Adaine this episode in unpacking my high school experiences, lemme tell you.

Wondering where Baron fits into all this. It seems like the kind of effect that Sylvere would be able to produce but he wasn’t in Sylvere when that happened and I feel like that wouldn’t be Riz’s nightmare (unless it represented anxiety about his not dating or s/t like that). What was that about? Who exactly caused it and with what ability? Is that just a standard demon power?

Not important but last week when Brennan said a halo formed around Pok he distinctly motioned around his head and not over his head so I felt happy to have interpreted that correctly when he said this ep that the halo was one of those you see in old pics of like the Madonna and Child and not a modern-traditional angel halo.

The idea of a lower plane task force is extremely dope from a world building perspective. Like, that makes total sense. 

“Don’t even talk to me until my death’s avenged.” I knew that was going to be a real mug as soon as it was said. 

The stuff with Pok and Riz was so unbelievably sweet. Him having a chair set up to listen to his family talk at his grave? Him clearly being the proudest dad and talking about Riz all the time? Him wanting to just talk about unimportant stuff with Riz because it’s his important stuff. Ugh, my entire heart. And Riz immediately reverting to full, “My dad could beat up your dad,” mode. I love them so much.  

I feel like Siobhan took coming up with a spell for Ayda as an actual out of game homework assignment which she should because Brennan *will* let her do it and then Ayda will save the party with it. That’s how D&D works baby I don’t make the rules. Hit me up with your best ideas.

Adaine actually asked Gilear for some of his hair in order to Scry on him and he’s the one who offered blood instead because he couldn’t spare any more hair. Feel like there’s gotta be a spell for that

Siobhan just casually says the phrase, “Mycelium web,” once again just being Adaine.  

Couldn’t Kalina just say, “Screw it,” and stop showing up in pictures if the strain gets too much? Like, if your cover is blown, it’s blown. Or is it set up in such a way that it’s gonna screw her before she has the chance to turn it off?

It’s funny that Zac is playing such a low Int character because he’s actually figured out a lot of stuff this season and he’s the one who remembered that dragon madness won’t get passed on if the person who gets the money has no knowledge that it’s dragon money. I wonder if we’ll get to see him play a non-Himbo next season.

Adaine, predictably, has no social media presence. Speaking of social media, I love the naming convention of just sticking the word “fantasy” in front of things like Twitter and Google--as in, “You guys are all over Fantasy Twitter.” Like, why even complicate things? You know what this is. 

Goodbye card for Gilear: Outside--Gilear I need you/Inside--to get me a cortado.

I had a stray thought that Riz could possibly use the door to come back after having done angel training for like a month but (1) that’s a little meta-gamey and (2) they were making an exception for him to be there that short time as it was. Anything else probably would have been pushing it. 

Is Pok’s heaven affiliated with any deity or is it just where all the good workaholic secret agents go? To me, it seems like it liaises with all the other heavens more than being it’s own main heaven, you know?

Oh man. Ayda disappearing and Fig clutching her powerful feather, begging her to come back after indirectly putting her the situation she’s currently in? Heartbreaking dude. 

I wonder why the people who disappeared disappeared beyond just getting rid of the NPCs.

Edit: Forgot to mention the part where Kristen rolled a -1 with her trash Dex so Ayda had to give her a portent roll to not instantly blow everything. 

The Bad Kids are in a very precarious position right now. If I trusted Kalina to be someone of her word, I might try to bargain with her--destroy the picture in return for letting us leave. From a DM standpoint, I think it’s probably a good time for an Abernant Ex-Machina. They’re in the forest too as far as we know and they gotta come back into the story somehow. This could be the time. 

Everyone going off about how Riz is a little angel and he could have told them if he was a Celestial and how much he loves Gilear while he’s not in the scene and can’t say anything is peak D&D. 

Bill Seacaster saying a bunch of insane nonsense and then Adaine being like, “Nice seeing you Mr. Seacaster,” is also peak D&D. 

This episode, Adaine, Fig*, Kristen and Brennan (as Sandra-Lynn) each rolled a Nat 20. Adaine and FIg each rolled one Nat 1 that was canceled by disadvantage and Riz rolled one Nat 1 that stuck. 

*I actually am not 100% Fig rolled at Nat 20. Kristen did for sure but I don’t have a Tally for her so I might have flipped those by accident.  If you happen to know for some weird reason, lemme know. 

[jokertrap-ran]

[Stand My Heroes] 挽夏のミステリーブライド (Late summer Mystery Bride) Event Story: Part　① Translations

*Sutamai Master-list *MC name is retained default Izumi Rei *Scenario Writer: @eno_bara (榎戸乃ばら)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Special Stages

--Back when I was alive… I thought that I’d lose everything, once the spark of life snuffed out.

Affections. Loneliness. Happiness, sadness…--All of it.

Asagiri: But I was mistaken. Everything still resides within me, as vivid as ever.

Asagiri: Affections, loneliness, happiness, sadness…--Therefore,

Asagiri: I wish to stay by you.

Asagiri: I cannot stand being alone any longer.

Rei: A-Asagiri-san…?

Asagiri: If I’m unable to stay by you, then I’d much rather I--…

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

--Mid-August.

⋆⋅☆ Investigation Planning Division ☆⋅⋆

Asagiri: …Huh? A trip together with the Kujo Family?

Rei: Yup. This year’s Obon Holidays spans an entire week so,

Rei: After returning to our Family Home, paying our respects and maybe doing a big clean-up of the rooms or something,

Rei: We’d still have quite some time left to spare before our Holidays come to an end, so they extended an invitation to us while we were on the topic.

We had just finished and successfully closed a case today. It was a pretty nasty one that netted us to carry out a Joint Investigation with MPD’s Investigation Division One.

We toasted with bitter coffee, to our satisfactory triumph over successfully curtailing and prosecuting the suspect during our investigations. A toast, and chatter, about the upcoming Obon Holidays.

Imaoji: Well, it’s basically a trip where all parties involved and related to STAND can gather and bond together as friends.

Rei: That’s right. Shion-kun’s coming too, apparently. And Seki-san has given his official stamp of approval about it as well.

Asagiri: I see.

Yui: Izumi, if anyone looks like they’re trying to pull some funky business, don’t hesitate to use the Special Crime-prevention Spray.

Rei: Ahaha…Yes, I do have that packed.

Asagiri: It’s the Obon Holidays, so it’s going to be packed everywhere. Where is the intended destination?

Rei: It’s…

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Inside the Car ☆⋅⋆

Kirishima: La-la-la, an old castle♪ Kujo♪ Old castle-san and Kujo-san♪ Hm-hm-hm-hmmm~♪

Hinata & Kaname: …………

Kirishima: I’m going on a Trip to an Old Castle with family today♪ Kujo-san who plays in the Old Castle♪ How cool of ya’~ Kujo-san♪

Kujo & Miyase: …………

Kirishima: Kujo and an Old Castle, I’m so hyped up♪ I’m in such a good mood~♪

Shindo: ……

Kirishima: Come on Rei, you continue!

Rei: EHHH!?

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Inside the Car ☆⋅⋆

Rei: Hold up! I’ve been totally out of it till you called me out-

Kirishima: You just have to go along the flow with this kinda’ thing. Just try singing about how you feel to come on a trip to an Old Castle with the Kujo Family!

Rei: Try singing…?

Kaname: (That’s asking for the impossible…)

All the attention in the car centred on me, sitting on one of the Passenger Seats. A long-awaited Trip. Kirishima, who’s in a Godly-jolly Mood.

Rei: (…Right. I can’t let the mood die like this!)

Rei: A-An Old Castle♪…Kids♪ Elephant-san and Kujo-san…♪

Kirishima: Kids…

Kaname: Elephant…

Rei: Argh~ I’m so sorry! Kirishima-san added Rhymes to his tune, so I thought that I’d do the same too.

Shindo: Did you forget to pack a Travel Bag for your senses too?

Rei: Your jibes are as sharp as ever!

Kujo: --Pft.

Miyase: Heh. Seems like you grew a tail in Izumi-san’s song, Kujo-san.

Kujo: …No, I’m not making fun of it at all. It’s a brilliant improvised song.

Rei: It’s okay. I’d actually feel much better about this embarrassment of one if you laughed.

Kujo: I apologise…Pft-

Kirishima: Haha. Ain’t it great!? You’ve come up with a song that made even that Kujo-san laugh!

Kirishima: Rei, you’ve really got a good musical sense in ya!

Rei: I still can’t beat yours though!

Kirishima: Well, my version of the “Kujo-san and the Old Castle Song” came out pretty well too!

Shindo: Is the word twist in your dictionary?

Miyase: It’s a brilliant Song Name.

Kujo-san and—The “Old Castle”-san. The subject of Kirishima’s Original Song, was none other then the destination we were headed to with him behind the wheel.

Our destination was an “Old Castle Converted Hotel” that one of Kujo’s acquaintances owned. The Old Historic Castle had been renovated to become accommodatable and we were all invited to stay in it before it opened its doors to accept guests. Call it a Trial Run, of sorts.

Hinata: Mmngh…

Kaname: Oh, you’re awake.

Hinata: Mm…Have we already reached our lodgings?

Kirishima: The GPS says that we’ve got another 3 Minutes left.

Miyase: --Oh, isn’t that the Castle’s Rooftop we’re seeing over there?

Looking out of the Car’s Windshield, I could see green-tiled roofs that were pointing sky-ward.

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: Whoa…This is amazing. It’s really a Castle!

Hinata: The air in here’s really cool.

Kujo: I heard that Air-Conditioning was also installed during the renovations.

Miyase: Ohh, so that’s why it feels as cool as a cooler in here!

Hinata: It’s easier to sleep with so I think it’s a boon.

Kaname: Aren’t there any staff in here?

Kujo: Apparently, one of the pre-requisites of this place was to “Have no outsiders”.

Kujo: But I’ve got consent to use this facility however we wish during our stay here.

Kaname: Hmm. So we’re the only ones within this castle right now.

Rei: It’s a little exciting, when you think about it.

Kirishima: …………

Miyase: …Kirishima-san? What’s wrong?

Kirishima: Huh?

Miyase: You must be tired from driving. I apologise for leaving the wheel to you.

Kirishima: No, I’m not the least bit tired at all. Plus, I love driving!

Miyase: Then I suppose it’s fine.

Kirishima: You bet’cha! Well, we’ve definitely gotta explore this place first. Let’s see what this Castle has to offer!

Hinata: I’ll look for a good napping spot.

Kujo: Don’t you all want to know more about this Castle before you wander off exploring?

Kirishima: I wanna know!

Miyase: I shall prepare tea then. I hear that there’s a kitchen in here accessible to the Tenants.

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Kujo explained that the Lounge open to the VIP Guests had actually been the former Land-lord’s Study.

Hinata: The number of books in here is astounding. The collections in here have been beautifully preserved.

Miyase: I’m amazed by this and the Vintage Tea Sets that’s been carefully maintained.

Kujo: I hear that a Young Noble lived here in the past, alone.

Kujo: And that a caretaker was appointed to take care of the Castle after his death, according to his Will.

Rei: Alone?

Kirishima: In such a huge Castle?

Kujo: Yes. His parents died early-on in his life and it seems like he, himself, died young, having taken his own life.

Kaname: What…?

Silence descended upon us at the revelation.

Kirishima: …Did he die in this room?

Kujo: How’d you guess that?

Rei: Uwa…

Kirishima: No, I just…had a feeling.

I suddenly became acutely aware of this place, now that I knew that “Someone had died here”. That there was someone else here, present, as we casually sipped at our tea.

Rei: (I’ve been to sites where lives were lost during my Investigation. But this…this is a little different.)

Kirishima: Please continue; tell us more.

Kujo: Apparently, the only thing he had written in his Suicide Note was “I’m bored”.

Hinata & Kaname: ……

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

The young man that lived here had put on a honey-sweet facade and was popular within the society’s circles.

Every night, without fail, he’d bring woman upon woman into this Castle of his. He never grew tired of it, despite having perpetually filled entire wings of them. However, despite the copious number of women he had invited in, it seemed like not one of them had managed to move his heart.

Kujo: For it he already had someone he had been enraptured with.

Shindo: But he had to let go of her— Was she the Wife of another?

Kujo: Indeed.

Kujo: He was never satisfied, no matter how much he repeated this cycle of mutual agreement between both parties. For he longed for someone he could never obtain.

Kujo: Thus, conceding to death alone, in the end.

Hinata: The person that held his interests might be the girl reflected in this Photo Album here.

Rei: Huh?

Shion had retrieved a thick and large tome from the bookshelf sometime during the explanation.   He showed it to us as he returned back to his seat on the sofa.

Hinata: It’s all photos of the same girl.

Miyase: Wow, she’s pretty dazzling.

Rei: (She’s really gorgeous…She has her back straight and her entire being exudes coolness in every picture.)

Kujo: She bears some resemblance to you.

Rei: What?

Kaname: Maybe. Rather than how she looks, I suppose it’s the aura she has around her?

Kirishima: Oh…Now that you mention it.

Kirishima: Like how she’s so at ease despite having a photo taken, as if she doesn’t give a shit at all. Or maybe the part where her expressions change every second?

Hinata: It’s only natural-looking because they were all taken in secret.

Kirishima: Huh? How’d ya’ know that?

Hinata: There isn’t a single picture in here where she’s looking straight at the camera. And the flash function wasn’t activated even when the photos were taken at night.

Shindo: I see. All so that the person being snapped photos of doesn’t notice.

Kirishima: Ain’t that just like…Tokusatsu?

Hinata: The Sentai Hero?

Kaname: You meant Voyeurism, don’t you?

Kirishima: That’s the one!

Shindo: It’s a little ironic that someone wealthy enough to own a Castle like this has to lower themselves down to the likes of a stalker who stockpiles photos of his target.

Kirishima: Oh, speaking of Stalkers. –Miyase.

Miyase: Yes?

Kirishima: The Toaster that you had written off as broken; I managed to make it work by giving it a little smack this morning.

Miyase: Ahh, thank you so much for fixing it. I see, so all that Toaster needed was a simple smack from you.

Kujo: I’ll purchase a new Toaster.

Shindo: What are you talking about…?

Kirishima’s unique train of thought softened the tense atmosphere in the room. But right at that moment—

Rei: Eek!

Kirishima: Rei!?

The Teacup that had previously been seated atop the table fell with a clang and shattered into smithereens

There goes my top, brilliantly stained by the tea that had spilt forth.

Miyase: Are you alright!? Did you get scalded!?

Rei: I’m fine. The tea had already cooled anyway.

Rei: Rather than that, what just happened just now?

Hinata: The Teacup moved on its own accord…?

Kujo & Shindo: --

???: (…Ah-ah~ How boring.)

???: (I’m about to go crazy from boredom.)

???: (Who would’ve known that boredom would follow me even in death.)

???: (I wouldn’t have chosen to die in such a boring place like this if I knew that I wouldn’t be able to leave this place after I died.)

???: (Hm…? I can hear an approaching vehicle. Is it that stuffy and uptight constriction lot again?)

Kirishima: YEAH! IT’S THE OLD CASTLE!! WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED!!

???: (Seems like it’s a different group…but well, I suppose anyone will do.)

???: (Anyone; save me from this never-ending boredom--)

───⋅𝕿𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊…⋆⋅☆

[walkerismychoice]

Not So Different After All (Logan X Colt)

Book: Ride or Die

Pairing: Colt Kaneko X Logan

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Gabi can’t stomach tending to Logan’s injuries, so someone’s got to do it. Unfortunately for Colt, that someone is him.

Note: This is an alternate version of the scene in chapter 5

Tag List: @tmarie82 @boneandfur @lizeboredom @choiceswreckedme @debramcg1106 @choiceslife

Word Count: 1575

"Logan, I'm so sorry." Gabi ghosts her fingers over his face and he winces at the featherlight touch. "You didn't have to do this for me."

"Yes, I did." Logan replies affectionately.

Colt rolls his eyes, a little disgusted by the sappy display. "As touching as this is, you need to fixed up, man if you don't want those injuries to get worse. I'm sure your little girlfriend would love to play nurse."

Gabi glares at Colt but before she can say anything back, Logan jumps in. "Gabi, I've got a first aid kit up in the loft. Will you come help me out?"

Gabi shakes her head. "I wish I could, but I get really squeamish around blood. I'd probably pass out and get my own head injury. I'm sorry Logan."

"Ximena, Toby, Mona? Anyone able to help me?" Logan pleads.

The three of them look at each other and then Mona smirks. "I think it's best if the three of us stay here and run interference in case Kaneko comes back. Colt, looks like that leaves you."

Colt wonders if this is some sort if twisted conspiracy to make him and Logan get along, but if that's the case, they can forget it. No use trying to play nice with some punk kid who hopefully won't be around much longer, but he'll help just to appease them for now. "Fine. Let's just get this over with."

"Great." Logan says flatly, rolling his eyes. "Let's go, Nurse Ratched."

Colt follows Logan up the stairs. He's not trying to stare at Logan's ass hugged perfectly by his form fitting jeans, but it's right in front of his face. He almost forgets momentarily the cocky asshole it's attached to. So what if he's hot? That's pretty much his only redeeming quality.

Once upstairs, Logan flicks on an old lamp and retrieves the kit from a cabinet. "Here." He thrusts it roughly into Colt's hands and sits on the edge of the bed.

Colt sits on the couch next to the bed to survey Logan's injuries. He's got some good cuts and bruises on his face, and Colt notices a deep gash near his collarbone extending under his white t-shirt. "I think you better take your shirt off, so I can check everything out."

Logan smirks. "I usually require a litte foreplay before I start taking off my clothes."

Colt narrows his eyes. "Do you want my help or not?" He's so not in the mood for Logan's sarcastic remarks.

"Okay, okay." Logan winces as he lifts the dirty, bloodied shirt over his head. Colt doesn't fail to notice Logan's nicely sculpted upper body. A spark flickers in Logan's eyes as he looks back to Colt. "You can close your mouth now before you start drooling."

"I wasn't...whatever," Colt mumbles with no basis to protest further. He was totally gawking at Logan's shirtless body and he got caught. He realizes he's too far to reach Logan from the couch so he gets up to join him on the bed. "Don't worry, I'm not trying to make a move on you. I'm just too far away over there."

Logan chuckles. "That's too bad," he jokes, or so Colt thinks. It's difficult to discern from his tone. Logan hisses as Colt starts to dab the cut on his collarbone with peroxide saturated gauze. "Ouch!"

Colt eases up but continues to clean the cuts. "Sorry, but that's about as gentle as I can get. I'd kiss it better, but I'm not your mother."

Logan's expression hardens. "Don't mention my mother," he snaps, but then his features soften slightly. "It's a sore subject."

"I get it. Same here," Colt confesses.

Logan scoffs. "Like you have anything in common with me. At least you weren't living on the streets when you should have been in high school. At least have a parent who loves you and wants the best for you - who can afford to send you to college and give you pretty much anything you want. And you don't even appreciate any of it and would rather throw it away and come back here, for what?"

"Fuck this." Colt throws the bandage in his hand down on the bed. "You know nothing about me, and I don't need to listen to you telling me how good I have it. You can fix yourself."

"Colt, wait." Logan grabs his hand as Colt moves to leave. An unexpected tingle of electricity from Logan's touch travels across Colt's skin. "I didn't mean it like that. Can we please finish this?"

He's not sure what compels him, but Colt reluctantly sits back down. Maybe it's the vulnerability in Logan's voice, or that if Colt were in that position he'd need help too. He nods but doesn't say anything, and after an awkwardly long pause, they both seem to realize at the same time that Logan is still holding onto Colt's hand. Colt pulls away, clearing his throat and starts to bandage up the rest of Colt's wounds.

Logan is the first to speak again. "Not to dig myself a deeper hole, but I feel like I should explain a little better. Your father has done more for me than I could have ever hoped for. He took me in when I had nowhere to go, gave me a job and some direction, but still I am completely envious of you. He's been kind to me so far, but the second I mess up or put his crew at risk, he could cut me out for good, just like that. He's the closest thing I've had to a father figure in a long time, but I'm not going to delude myself into thinking we are family. That's what you are. He loves you unconditionally and wants a better life for you than this. I'd trade places with you in a second if I could."

Colt takes a deep breath and mulls over Logan's words. To hear Logan is jealous of him throws Colt for a loop. All this time he's been jealous of Logan for taking a place in the crew he thought should be his. But after Gabi at the drive-in and now Logan here basically saying the same thing, Colt might be starting to believe it. Whether he agrees with his father or not, deep down Colt knows Kaneko loves him. Colt tips his head up and looks into Logan's crystal clear blue eyes as if really seeing him for the first time. "Heh. And to think I was jealous of you too."

"Of, what? My devastatingly handsome good looks?" Logan laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

"Definitely not your modesty," Colt quips, choosing not to dispute Logan’s comment because he is fucking gorgeous. But Colt's been told more than a time or two how hot he is. "And for the record, I know I'm not half bad to look at either."

Logan's eyes darken as he keeps his gaze fixed on Colt. "No, no you are not." A wicked smile briefly flits across his lips.

Colts looks away as he rises in his cheeks and he checks Logans injuries over one more time and thinking of something to change the subject before he embarrasses himself further. "So...you and Gabi seem to be spending a lot of time together."

Logan frowns and Colt instantly regrets bringing her up. "Gabi's a nice girl, and I really do like her, but...I don't know what she's doing with a guy like me."

"Oh." Colt neglects to hide the disappointment in his voice. For a split second he thought he might say something cheesy like, 'she doesn't compare to a guy like you.' What the hell is wrong with him. He still hates Logan, doesn't he?

"She deserves to go to college and meet someone more like her...And I need someone who can keep up with me and really gets where I'm coming from." Logan tilts Colt's chin up, looking him straight in the eyes. "Maybe someone more like you."

Every sensible part of Colt is telling him to run down those stairs and not look back. He and Logan don't get along and would never be a good match in any way, shape or form. Logan probably has a concussion and doesn't know what he's saying. Any yet... Colt licks his lips and leans in towards Logan like a moth drawn to a flame. Logan closes the distance, his lips brushing against Colt's ever so softly.

"Logan!" Gabi's voice calls from the top of the stairs, suddenly jolting them apart.

"Hey, Gabi. What's up? Colt was just checking me over and making sure I'm good to go."

"Oh, are you done?" Gabi asks Colt. "I need to get going soon before my dad flips out."

Colt shakes his head up and down. "Yep, he's good as new. He's all yours." Colt starts to turn and then looks back at Logan blankly. "I've saved your ass twice tonight, you owe me."

"That you did." A sly grin spreads across Logan's face. "I'll definitely have to make it up to you. Goodnight, Colt."

A shiver runs down Colt's spine at the implication of Logan's promise, while Gabi looks on, seemingly none the wiser. "Goodnight." And with that he walks down the stairs not knowing if everything has changed between them, or if this is a momentary lapse in judgment that will be all but forgotten in the morning.

[justanotherfacet]

I know people who at least at one point picked crops as migrants. a) it’s HARD work and b) nope according to folks who have actually done it there are definitely techniques/skills involved.

I clerked for Diamond Sharmrock back when drive-offs were still a major thing because pay-at-the pump WASN’T and Kevin Smith filmed his FIRST “Clerks” in the convenience store he worked for at the time during off-hours. Just not killing the worst of the customers is a skill some days, and also nope most of those are not JUST cashier (you gotta do sidework like clean/stock/change out promo signs and garbage bags and not everybody does theirs or at least tells the next clerk/s know it needs checking. like, it’s one thing when you’re disabled with formal ADA-requred accommodations/light-dutied because you’re expected to heal up/give birth/whatever at SOME point/less formal arrangement (i used to be “i hate bathrooms but hot dog nacho cheese make me want to puke no contest” with a dude at 7-11 and once apparently scared a “i’m not his manager but I do have seniority and this IS arguably not cool” with my lecture about “in the future please AT LEAST tell me if you were slammed so I can check the 20 ounces”. Pretty sure he didn’t stay with us much longer but every shift I was his relief the soda coolers were stocked up right.)

Cleaning? Most people who are not massively PHYSICALLY disabled and can do the tasks involved if they’re given as appropriate a setup list of steps to follow to clean whatever (YouTube video, written printout with illustration, whatever format at least sort of works) could probably clean shit, but I’m lucky enough to be a very fucking privileged disabled person and the lady I call every now and then is a CLEANER like pro-level. Big difference.

Fast food: I’ve never but a BUNCH of my extended family has, there are skills involved in every level of food service from McDonald’s to five-star Michelin, same with hospitality.

Call center: have done. 100% of my life on the phone was COULD NOT DO. My foot is currently resting on ceramic tile paid for by 3 months of retroactive SSDI checks because while I wasn’t horrible when I was there (I had I think had to have been call center heaven because for the most party i wasn’t ever going to party with them my co-workers were work-cordial/reasonably competent, hell my immediate boss was like “my wife is disabled and you do your job when here better than some of the straight-up metrics say you do because disability-related absence is affecting metric” and pulled “reasonable accommodations” that meant a few more months down the line when they cut half my department and I picked the “I’ll take the three last shifts and “you can put laid off/we won’t challenge for unemployment’ version.) 

I’m an $11 tax pro and half the time my job is as much peer counseling as it is tax code geekery plus as long as my clients don’t expect me to believe six impossible things before caffeine and basically meet “plausible and consistent for my neighborhood” idgaf if they maybe didn’t tell the exact gospel truth. i ask/answer/document what i need to be okay actually filing mine, and for the VAST majority of mine are “neighborhood level of plausibility plus they signed off” so me and my company are covered. i try to codeswitch well enough to make sure if their return is actually seen by an overworked IRS front-liner that they’ll hopefully be “it’s a LITTLE weird but it’s maybe like 2-5 K and stuff has been asked/answered/documented so I can kind of cover MY ass FUCK IT NEXT”.

(Also, everybody thinks my job is all tax code geekery and nope for a bunch of my clientele I basically end up peer counseling them at LEAST as much. I got a $10 Sams Card for talking a lady through her out-of-state divorce shit (the paperwork was very “I am not a fucking lawyer and Texas doesn’t even HAVE alimony but I think this is EXTREMELY FUCKING QUESTIONABLE and you should talk to YOUR attorney ASAP”.)

Everyone deserves a livable wage, because there is no such thing as unskilled labor.

Art by Liberal Jane

[bluemoonpunch]

Shop Open + Update!

Shop Open: September 9th - September 16th

The shop will only be open for one more week before I’m done with personal paid readings for a while. It won’t be closed forever, but it will be a while before I am able to continue with personal readings.

New Reading Available: Past, Present, Future Reading

This reading was added to make up for the removal of the Signature Punch Package (which was removed because they take 3 days to do and I almost died trying to do 3 of them the last time the shop was open, plus they’re very expensive). This is just a plain and simple, very classic PPF reading that will showcase a minimum of 9 cards (3 for each placement). There are pre-set options for reading focus as well as one that will allow you to provide a topic that is not listed there. The PPF readings were originally exclusive to the Signature Punch Reading.

Changes to the shop: All of the readings should now have a delivery estimate of 1 to 2 weeks. Of course, not every reading will take that long. Most readings that are purchased within the first day of the shop being open are sent out within 3 days. Just keep in mind that for the sake of not overworking myself and for the sake of giving your reading as much time and attention as possible it could take over a week for your reading to be sent depending on the reading you choose, as well as the Document Style.

⭐ SHOP HERE - Always read the description of the listings!

Your interest and consideration are always very much appreciated! 💕

Details on the Past, Present, Future reading, prices, and the Document Styles are under the cut!

Past, Present, and Future Reading

The Past, Present, and Future reading will be a general gauging of a specific situation that will allow you to see the energy surround the current state, what lead to it, as well as a potential outcome. There will be a minimum of 3 cards pulled for each set, but usually more tend to come out. As with every reading on my shop, you will have your choice of Document Style that will allow you to choose a delivery format that can lower the price.

These are the focus options for this reading:

- Romantic Relationships / Love

- Platonic Relationships  / Family and Friends

- Career and Finance

- Soul Progression / Spiritual Development

- A different topic of your choosing that is not listed here.

Updated Prices - Prices are based on the minimum number of cards used in that reading, the Document Style, and the average amount of time it takes for me to complete your order from start to finish.

Custom Reading - $4.00 - $27.00

Choose your questions, cards, and topics!

3 Card Meditation - $6.00 - $20.00

The goal of this reading is to help you ground and direct your energy in 1-3 areas of your life to help you clear your mind and raise your vibration.

Waist Deep - 4 Card Reading - $7.00 - $21.00

This reading is specifically designed to help you see yourself through a bad situation and to really put things into perspective. This is the perfect reading for someone who is feeling overwhelmed or without guidance in certain situations in their lives. This reading is best for the more heavier subjects involving living situations, negative mindsets, or negative influences in general. This reading can deal with physical, mental, and spiritual states.

External Alignment - 5 Card Reading - $8.00 - $22.00

This reading is designed to showcase the current state of your personal alignment with your External Energies (Gods, Guides, Guardians).

Cosmic Alignment - 5 Card Reading - $8.00 - $22.00

This reading is designed to showcase the current state of your personal alignment with Cosmic Influences (Astrological Alignment).

Internal Alignment - 5 Card Reading - $8.00 - $22.00

This reading is designed to showcase your current state of alignment with your Internal Energies (Higher Self, Soul Urge, Purpose).

Take It Easy - 5 Card Reading - $8.00 - $22.00

This reading is designed to put you at ease in a difficult situation. This reading will pinpoint negative influences or mindsets and give you an idea of what you need to let go of and what you need to embrace in the situation in order to relax and allow the situation to play out as it needs to.

Elemental Alignment - 6 Card Reading - $9.00 - $30.00

This reading is designed to showcase your energetic alignment and balance with the elements and compare it to that of your Higher Self’s alignments. There are two versions of this reading - Standard, and Extended.

Subconscious Reading - 6 Card Reading - $9.00 - $23.00

This reading is designed to show subconscious blocks that could be negatively affecting certain areas of your life and making it hard to progress internally and externally.

The Little Punch - 6 Card Reading - $9.00 - $23.00

This reading is based on a daily spread that I do for myself every morning to gauge my External and Internal influences on my goals for that day. This is a great reading to get if you are planning on starting a new project or venture and would like to know how to proceed.

Relationships and Connections - 6 Card Reading - $10.00 - $24.00

This reading is an original spread that covers romantic, platonic, and familial relationships objectively and puts the energetic connection between two people into perspective.

The Coming Forecast - 7 Card Reading - $10.00 - $24.00

This is an amped up Past, Present, Future reading that will give you the do’s and the don'ts. This reading can cover any topic, any question, and any concern you might have in terms of what is to come for you in the near future.

For Artists and Writers - 8 Card Reading - $11.00 - $25.00

This reading is designed to be a more in-depth look at negative mindsets and influences and their effect on the creative processes. If you experience any stagnation with your work or any creative blocks this would be a great reading for you to work with.

Past, Present, Future Reading - 9 Card Reading - $12.00 - $26.00

This is a simple and classic Past, Present, and Future reading! A minimum of 9 cards are pulled to showcase the current status, the progression, and past influences of a situation or particular topic. There are 5 different choices of focus for this reading.

12 Month Blueprint - 12 Card Reading - $15.00 - $30.00

This reading will provide you with a general outlook for the next 12 months.  There are 3 versions of this reading: Predictive, Advisory, and Cosmic.

Chakra Alignment - 21 Card Reading - $24.00 - $45.00

This reading is designed to showcase the current energetic balance of the seven main chakras.

Past Life Reading - Intuitive Reading - $25.00 - $50.00

This is an intuitive reading that will give you an idea of your previous life and how it influences you now. Cards are pulled throughout this reading, but there is no set number or format.

Floater’s Club - 24 Card Reading - $27.00 - $45.00

This is a reading for all the floaters who don’t want to be caught off guard at any point in the next 12 months!

This is an extended version of the 12 Month Blueprint reading that includes both the Predictive and Advisory portions. This will cover External Plan and suggested Internal Alignment to go along with that External Plan. You won’t have to think at all!

*The 12 months that will be included in this reading will follow the month that you purchase. Example: If you buy this reading in the month of September, the reading will cover the time period between the beginning of October to the end of the following September. As a courtesy, I will pull a few extra cards for the current month if you purchase this reading within the first two weeks of the month.

*NO LONGER AVAILABLE* The Signature Punch - 47 Card Reading - $50.00 - $100.00

In this package, you will get: Core Energy Reading, Deck Impression Reading (Exclusive), Astrological Focus Reading (Exclusive), Subconscious Reading, 3 Past, Present, Future Readings*, 12 Month Predictive OR Advisory Reading, Advice from all decks (Exclusive)

*For the 3 Past, Present, Future Readings you will need to choose 3 different topics from this and include it in the “notes to seller”: Love, Family, Friends, Career, Finance, Soul Progression, General Life, another topic of your choice.

Document Styles - these are available for all readings and allow you to choose how extensive the reading is and gives you more pricing options!

Mini - no extended text, energy readings, or photos. Only a short summary of the reading and general advice.

Basic - no energy reading. 1 photo of the whole spread. Detailed summary and advice.

Basic 2.0 - 1 photo of all tarot cards pulled at the end of your energy reading. A small summary of your energy reading. 1 photo of the whole spread. Detailed summaries and advice on the main reading.

Premium - Includes a full energy reading with 1 (or more) photos of the tarot cards pulled at the end. Photos of the whole spread, plus the individual cards. Detailed explanations of the cards, their placements, and their relation to you.

[femmesfollesnebraska]

Artist Feature: Kara Dunne

Pleased to present this q-and-a with artist Kara Dunne. All words and images (c) Kara Dunne...

A Trailer is a Castle on Its Side

Where are you from? How did you get into creative work and what is your impetus for creating?

I like to say I’m from Vermont because that’s where I was born and most likely will end up someday.  Currently I live in Massachusetts.

My observation skills got me into creative work.  I was always good at drawing from observation growing up, and in general observing things that were odd or quirky in the world.  Once I tapped into these heightened skills of seeing things in a new way, I think the gift of creativity followed suit.  Once you are super-honed into the world around you, you naturally start making unusual connections that you’d like to share (secretly in hopes that you may be the first one to make them of course).

As a practicing artist over the years, my work accumulates around me in boxes and flat file drawers.  And since I mostly create multiples of things, sometimes I feel like an unintentional hoarder.  But the thing is, unlike a hoarder, I don’t want to hold on to the stuff I make. I have increasingly felt the “what is the point of producing all this stuff?” question that is not unique to the artist’s experience.  I can relate to the: “If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around, then it doesn’t make a sound” concept.  If I make work that remains in my flat file, then it too, remains silent.  So what is the point?  I can only amuse myself for so long by producing for myself.  One needs an audience.  Coming from a performance background, audience interaction for me was always the most exciting part of the practice.  I’ve recently made it my main goal as a printmaker to reach an audience with my work by finding new ways in which I can just give my prints away.  I’ve never wanted to sit with my stuff at a table making puppy dog eyes in order for people to stop and buy something from me.  No surprise that I was terrible at selling girl scout cookies.

Tell me about your latest project and why its important to you. What do you hope people get out of your work?

Just before the world shut down, which for me was a year before the pandemic because my time was happily consumed as a new mom, I had just finished a long term research project that connected the agrarian and urban versions of what it meant to be a shepherd and gather something.   It compared the idea of a shopping cart attendant at the grocery store to that of a traditional shepherd gathering and caring for a flock of sheep.  The final result from my years of research into this concept was a limited edition artists’ book, titled, Shopping Cart Shepherds.  Printed on a letterpress, it combined drawings, screen-prints and interviews from my conceptual journey that began in 2012 when I spent time in a small town in Ireland (and yes, around sheep and people who raised sheep).  I met a local man in his eighties named Tom Tarpey, who had been raising sheep for about thirty years at that point.  Strangely enough and quite a rarity in Catholic history, he was the retired priest of the town.  He had left the church in order to marry the love of his life. Once a shepherd of the people, he became a shepherd of sheep.  What a rare find!  I thoroughly enjoy my work when I can interact with the world more directly; when my artistic research connects me to people in places I have never been and with whom I remain in contact with.  I have all these great big ideas, and usually I will be hesitant at first (shy?) to make connections with the community in order to see those ideas come into fruition, but ultimately things pan out in one way or another.  For example, when I came home from Ireland and was blabbing about sheep, a friend gave me a newspaper article about traditional Basque shepherds still working in this country- in the mountains in Idaho.  For a long time, the article was taped to my wall as a reminder to contact some guy I read about named Henry Etcheverry.  In 2014 I was awarded a residency at a fabulous spot called Surel’s Place (thank you so much Surel Mitchell), and it gave me the opportunity to the make necessary connections out there for this book.  Needless to say, it was an amazing experience and the Etcheverry family embraced me like one of their own; and I learned a lot about sheep.  I now consider them my extended west coast family.

110 copies of the book, Shopping Cart Shepherds, exist (that’s all I could afford to get printed) and inside the back cover it asks the reader to pass the book along to someone else once they finish it.  It is my hope that the ideas in this book will travel and reach more than 110 people.  (More trees falling in more forests?)  I have given away most of the copies at this point, both to people I know and don’t know. The books serve as messages in bottles- it’s honestly difficult to not to have control over where they go, but I guess an artist never really knows where their artwork will end up after it is purchased anyway.  Perhaps my books are mostly buried in the sand dunes of someone’s office book pile, or they have actually reached new beaches far far away.  I will never know.

Since completing this major work, all of my ideas for making prints have the underlying purpose of getting out into the world and reaching an audience.

I find certain design elements of architecture to be amusing, and often make work about the structures around us, as they are extensions of our culture and can change with popularity just like anything else.  Cupolas, ultimately a very useful and functional architectural ventilation add-on to barns and other large buildings, have been on the rise where I live.  Decorative cupolas mainly, seem to show up on top of garages overnight, like cherries atop sundaes.  (Makes the sundae and the house look better).  I made an edition of screen-prints based on this idea- a vanilla sundae with chocolate sauce and sprinkles in a fancy glass serving dish…with a cupola on top.  To get them out to cupola-adorning people, I made up a survey of questions about cupolas.  I printed the survey onto paper door hangers and distributed them.  The survey could be cut out from the door hanger as a postcard and mailed to my special P.O. box in town.  If the survey was sent back, that household would receive an original artist print.  I had the post box and distributed the door hangers for a few months before I had to stop the project because of the emergence of covid.  I had received at least a dozen responses at that point, and mailed out a portion of the edition.  I’d like to start it up again at some point.    

My next print- based community outreach project idea is in process now and will involve restaurant placemats.  I just need to make some local restaurant connections.  (Another pre-pandemic idea forced to simmer on the back burner).   Here’s the basic idea.  A table at a restaurant is the perfect gallery space.  It is especially ideal because it is the location where a group of people will sit and wait for a long period of time together with nothing else to do but sit and chit-chat in one place.  Not even in a gallery do you have the same group of people staying near each other and talking for longer than fifteen minutes in front of a single artwork.  

A paper placemat at a restaurant is viewed for a longer period of time than a work of art on a gallery wall.  It is hard not to look at a placemat- it is one of the few places to look while waiting for food.   I will use the format of the dining placemat as a way to bring fine art into the everyday world. I believe an etching is the perfect kind of print for this project.  An etching is considered the finest of fine art printmaking, mainly because the process of making an etching plate is just as time consuming as printing the edition itself.  Also, it would be perfectly ironic if a plate made a placemat.  And the thought of such a sacred piece of paper so carefully processed as an art work that should end up underneath someone’s sweaty beer glass and dinner plate is simply…exciting to me.  Equally, the thought that a restaurant guest may decide to not get it messy because they want to take it home is the kind of leave-it-to-chance scenario that I gravitate to as an artist; it forces me to relinquish my control and challenges the idea of art as an artifact.  For the viewer, the idea plays with the preciousness of “art” and the context in which we view a work of art (in a gallery vs. the real world).  For the restaurant owner, it may also bring more business and create a new kind of hype attracting more customers.  Let’s say I print a series of five placemats, and if people collect all five placemats they get a free limited edition non-placemat print worth X amount of dollars.  Or maybe they collect all five and get ten dollars off their next meal.  Something like that.

This project connects directly with the public and gets the fine art print into the hands of the everyday person.  The imagery within the frame of the placemat will vary- from beautiful local scenery and landmarks (as everyone enjoys a pretty picture), to several different designs that will engage the table with non-phone related activities- like a dining room scavenger hunt or a list of dinner conversation starters, as well as other designs that are more cerebral and open to interpretation, serving as conversation starters themselves (with digestion friendly, witty imagery).  It is also my intention to make one of the placemats at each table have a QR code with a link to a video of how the placemat was produced, essentially educating the public about what an etching is, and moreover- what printmaking is.  

Considering the political climate, how do you think the temperature is for the arts right now, what/how do you hope it may change or make a difference?

The climate is quite volatile right now, to say the least, and I think artists have a responsibility now more than ever to connect people from both sides of a political issue in order to start a meaningful conversation.  I think the temperature for artists right now is great- get in the pool!  Art always impacts at least one person looking at it, so that’s something.  Art is mainly a non-confrontational way to interpret something about the world that needs to change for others who may not understand why change needs to happen.  The best example I can think of within the visual arts is installation and involves statistic- based information.  For example, a person may come across a beautiful sculpture of a sea monster made from plastic cups.  Then they read about the work and how two million cups were used to make the work and that two million cups end up in the ocean every day; that person now has the physical representation in front of them of what two million actually means and it is forever burned into their mind. That person can stand next to the giant sculpture of cups and can better understand what the number means in relation to how it impacts the environment.  A real life artwork that is forever burned in my mind like this is a video piece by the ceramic artist Ehren Tool called the ‘1.5 Second War Memorial’.  In it, every 1.5 seconds a cup is shot and breaks. Each cup represents a human life.  You would have to watch the video for  eight minutes to get to the number of people who died in the Gulf War (Tool is a veteran of that war) and watch the video for two years to get to the number of total casualties in WWII.  

Artist Wanda Ewing, who curated and titled the original LFF exhibit, examined the perspective of femininity and race in her work, and spoke positively of feminism, saying “yes, it is still relevant” to have exhibits and forums for women in art; does feminism play a role in your work?

More often than not, feminism lies under the surface of my work.   How can it not, as I am living as a woman in this world?  Feminism is always going to be relevant.  It does not end, it is forever in existence; Feminism should not be considered as waves of the past, but as the water itself. I hate that ‘feminism’ is still considered a ‘dirty’ word.  Mostly I experience this as a high school teacher, when every so often I will have a male student who expresses their thoughts about what they think feminism is and after I cringe, mostly internally and sometimes externally, I sadly realize that this wrongly informed opinion comes from the belief system of the parents.  I try my best to inform them of what is true and false without becoming pushy; it is my hope that these particular students gain more perspective in the world through life experiences once their bubble becomes bigger-  and of course once their bubble of close-mindedness has popped.

Ewing’s advice to aspiring artists was “you’ve got to develop the skill of when to listen and when not to;” and “Leave. Gain perspective.”  What is your favorite advice you have received or given?

One of my first professors, Nick Tobier, had a five line mantra of sorts that he told us to write down during his first lecture.  

“Public space is yours to take.

Reveal the things that are hidden.

What you see has been filtered for you.

Let private notions become public.

You can make icons”

-

https://www.karadunne.com/

~

Les Femmes Folles was a volunteer organization founded in 2011 with the mission to support and promote women in all forms, styles and levels of art from around the world. Editor Sally Brown retired from active blogging after 10 years in 2021, but still accepts submissions. sallery_art@zohomail.com https://femmesfollesnebraska.tumblr.com/callforart-writing

Check out the 10th anniversary LFF exhibit, Feminist Connect, here:

https://www.les-femmes-folles-feminist-connect.com/

[foxsstoriesarchive]

Angel Wings 101

[[ This, is a personal guide based on my own ideas and my own version of the realm that angels live in. It’s so that people whom roleplay with me have a basic idea of how my characters function and why they are as they are. I’d like to mention that I don’t want anyone stealing/using this without permission, without asking me. Simply because I took a long time creating this idea, developing it as my own in a way. It’s not perfect, and there may be stuff alike to this but I wrote it myself and.. I’m proud of it. Of course, if you wish to base a character upon something like this, as long as you ask me, I’ll be more than happy for you to use this little guide. New ideas are always encouraged/welcome! ]] I welcome you, the reader, to a simple guide that explains the main idea behind the Realm of Angels (ROA). While some believe in such places as ‘Heaven’, the Realm of Angels is somewhat an alike existence but rules out the idea of an all-powerful deity ruling over the land. No, instead there is a hierarchy within the society, a sort of way of recognising where an angel may lay and what their jobs are within the creation of the world that they belong in. And this guide will simplify the most basic of guidelines and ideas that come within this realm. So here, I shall list the basic colours that each angel goes by, from the moment they are born. Each angel is born with a specific colour of their wings, although the genetics are often passed down their families- which some are recognised as ‘clans’, even. Although it hasn’t been unheard of a different colour being born within a family when the less dominant traits clash together, causing the child to have different wings to their parents. (Much like hair and eye colours, but far rarer.) Please remember that this is a very simple list, and that there are far more colours as well as types of angels that have different jobs that they do within their homeland. Now without further ado, here is the list.

Although the colour can be associated with heat, Red Wings are actually the Psychics of ROA. These angels often stay in groups of their kind to elevate levels of energy around them, which allows them to be able to do greater things. Red Wings are often the Elders of the realm, a group of highly intellectual beings that spend most of their time looking into different times, whether present, past or future. As it suggests, their bonds to the psychic world are rather deep, allowing for stronger senses as well as powers. But with the increased powers comes danger for a Red Wing that cannot control their patience can be somewhat of an explosive bomb- Thus if a child is born as a red wing, they are taken in by the elders to teach them their ways. Other angels often come to Red Wings when in need of help with assignments, runes, enchantments, spells, or paths that they may be on currently. White Wings White winged angels have the largest popularity within the ROA. Although the most common, that doesn’t mean that they are powerless. Each angel has their own title, a job that they do the best out of all presented. It’s their.. Personal talent actually, something that makes them unique in their own styles and ways. From traits like cooking, art, right up to the studious and athletic angels, each that something that they began mastering from a young age. It is often between the ages of five and eighteen that an angel finds their talent, which they begin to polish- much like a raw diamond. The longer they spend practicing and perfecting their talent, the greater it becomes. Not only this, but with their special talent there comes an item to call as their ‘own’. It usually links to the talent they have- For an example an Angel of Art would have some sort of a stationary- A paintbrush or as such. These items are often hand crafted before being enchanted in a specific way (Which I will explain at some point in another post) to create a bond for an long-lasting tool that most angels keep with them all their life. Silver Wings Silver winged angels are known as the ‘Archangels’ of the realm, the higher powers. They are the ones that set the rules and make sure the others follow them, and if such rules are broken, they will set out the punishment for the angel. These Archangels are known to be rather strict and some who have lived the tale often spoke of how unforgiving these beings could be. But it is not only their personalities which are strict, for it is well known that they set out guidelines for everything, and their rules are created in such ways that they cannot be bent. To get on a bad side of a Silver Wing is to bring the harshest judgement upon you. Mentioned in the White Wings section was the fact that each white winged angel has a specific talent- But what hasn’t been mentioned is that it is a Silver Wings job to approve of an angel’s Talent in their adolescence, as well as give them the title that will stay with them all of their life. Thus Silver Wings are the most important angels in ROA, setting out everything for the community. You could even say that they substitute the idea of having a deity, instead having a group of Silver Wings to make sure everything goes well within their world. Grey Wings Grey Wings are the angels who broke rules, thus receiving a punishment. Usually this is with the form of being thrown out of ROA and instead having to roam in the Human Realm until they have been redeemed for their bad-doings. Indeed, Grey Wings are the ‘Fallen’ angels of the realm, but with a chance to be forgiven. Their punishment often lasts from a few years to a couple of hundreds depending on what the angel has done in the first place, as well as how well they’ve been doing in the Human Realm. Grey Wings can often redeem themselves faster if they do acts of good, although it sometimes is not the case. Yet again, it is all determined by how bad the act had been and what sort of a punishment had been given. Black Wings Black wings. These angels have been condemned to Earth for eternity, having broken one of the

fundamental rules set by the Silver Wings. To break one of these is to betray your own kind, to go against everything that the kind believes in. And of course that causes the most ultimate punishment- To be banished from the realm for eternity. This is often done in the harshest, most old fashioned punishment- To rip an angel’s wings off before marking them with a special rune on their lower back, which leaves the skin charcoaled black. This mark never disappears, being a constant reminder to the angel of what they did. Although when healed it doesn’t cause pain, the healing process is an extremely rough one and can last for up to fifty years. At the end of this process though, when the angel’s wings grow back, they would have been effected by the mark, causing each and every single feather to turn the darkest shade of black. This process is not reversible, and unlike Grey Wings, can never be redeemed. There is a strange occurrence with Black Wings though, where if they have a child, it’s likely that the child will be born with black wings too. It probably has to do with the mark that the Black Wing carries, although the child will be born without one. No one has quite figured what to do with such children, but it has been a legend that such a child’s feathers can whiten- If a dramatic and positive change happens in their heart. Gold/Yellow Wings Gold Wings are known as the hunters of the realm. Their job is to hang around the human world and keep their eyes out on Grey and Black wings. They report each act to the Silver wings, and when needed, punish- As well as destroy individuals who are causing chaos or give away too much information to the Humans. Golds are a small clan of angels and it is almost impossible for a Gold to be born outside of their represented family. Such rare cases have been recorded but less than a handful have been born in the past two thousand years or so. Gold Wings are often known for their fighting skills which tend to be taught to them from a young age, preparing them for the ‘duty’ they must follow. Golds also tend to have a unique trait of leaving a couple golden feathers behind, usually without meaning to. If a human stumbles upon such feather- or is given one per say, it is rumoured that the human will have great luck by their side. Whether this is true or not hasn’t been proved, but the rumours still stand. Brown Wings Angels with Brown wings are often avoided as they are the bringers of Death. While angels cannot die from old age, for they do not age past a certain age (Which also will be explained in more detail in the future) they can still die from certain things. It’s indeed a rare circumstance for an angel to die, but when that time comes it is the job of a Brown Wing to dispose of such an angel. While they seem like grim beings, they honestly aren’t as bad as others make them out to be. But you never quite know who they’re coming for, so they’re often avoided. They sometimes are seen as the loners of their kind, and it’s a natural trait for them to have somewhat red tinted eyes- Which only brings an uncomfortable air for most. Brown wings often carry a little notebook in their pocket which lists names of angels when their time is up. Pink/purple Wings With such set of colours, these angels are known as the Cupids, or simply Angels of Love. Their wings come in all shades of pink and purple, often matching their hair colour to an extend. Just like the name suggests, they’re the matchmakers for their own kind as well as humans in the Human Realm. Just like with Brown Wings, these angels also carry notebooks- Yet they do not give an angel the name. Instead they give the location and time of where their Assignment will appear. It is up to an Angel of Love to figure out who the person is, which isn’t too hard for these curious beings as a connection is often made from the moment their eyes meet. When this connection is made, a more physical bond is created which means that the Angel physically cannot leave their assignment too far- It’s like hitting an invisible wall. The distance

depends on the angel themselves. Some angels cannot leave their assignment further than a couple meters, while others can easily move to the other side of the city without the bond restraining them. It’s a job that needs upmost commitment and can be hard to keep up with, thus why this bond is created. If not for these beings, relationships in the world wouldn’t be as effective, causing a decrease in population- which would be a sure perish of the Human kind. Green Wings A Green Wings job is rather simple really. They’re the healers of the realm. With their usually pastel green wings, they are some of the gentlest angels who specialise with taking care of their fellow kind. It isn’t strange for injuries to happen when you have such a variety of a species with so many talents and powers. But that isn’t the only thing that Green Wings do. As healers, they are the ones who keep the fragile balance between the world and species together, with their powers not only extending to angels but also to the Human Realm. Ever heard of those times when a ‘Miracle’ happened in a hospital? It had probably been a Green Wing that was behind the act. They spend most of their time taking care of those around them, whether in the Human Realm or ROA. While in their spare time, they often lead peaceful and quiet lives, trying to bring a positive change in their surroundings. Blue Wings Blue Wings are the stereotypical ‘Guardian Angels’. These angels are assigned to humans who are in need of some care, or wished for something to be there. Keeping an eye on their assignments and making sure no harm comes to them, they are the angels that are seen as protectors. Of course Blue Wings have a spectrum of personalities and they are specifically matched with their assignment to make sure they are the most fitting pair- Personality clashes had been common in the early days and caused quite a lot of trouble. But these days everything has been regulated in such ways that clashes barely happen. Whether a Blue Wing decides to reveal themselves to their assignment is their choice, unless otherwise stated by the job description. Red Wings Although the colour can be associated with heat, Red Wings are actually the Psychics of ROA. These angels often stay in groups of their kind to elevate levels of energy around them, which allows them to be able to do greater things. Red Wings are often the Elders of the realm, a group of highly intellectual beings that spend most of their time looking into different times, whether present, past or future. As it suggests, their bonds to the psychic world are rather deep, allowing for stronger senses as well as powers. But with the increased powers comes danger for a Red Wing that cannot control their patience can be somewhat of an explosive bomb- Thus if a child is born as a red wing, they are taken in by the elders to teach them their ways. Other angels often come to Red Wings when in need of help with assignments, runes, enchantments, spells, or paths that they may be on currently.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 17/04/2021 (Polo G, Dave, Doja Cat & SZA, Taylor Swift)

Okay, so, UK Singles Chart time – all hell broke loose. I knew Taylor Swift and Dave would make an impact but I was also not expecting all of the chaos to come with it. With that said, Lil Nas X is still at #1 for a third week with “MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)” and let’s just get through with this. This is REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

In this starting rundown segment, I’ve got a lot to cover so I’ll make it quick, no nonsense. First of all, I cover the UK Top 75. Why the top 75? I’m difficult – even though it’s actually more convenient. Secondly, the notable drop-outs – songs that peaked in the top 40 or spent more than five weeks on the chart that are gone from the top 75 this week thanks to this avalanche of 14 or so new arrivals. This week, we say goodbye to a bunch of our debuts from last week as well as “telepatía” by Kali Uchis, “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey, “You’re Mines Still” by Yung Bleu and remixed by Drake, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles, “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers and several #1 hits, including “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac, “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I and finally, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi, after spending a whopping 113 weeks in this region... despite being terrible. I mean, it’ll be back next week but celebrate the little victories, like our returns, for example. “X Gon’ Give it to Ya” by the late DMX is back at #72 after the passing of the hip-hop icon last week. This legendary song was actually one of his later hits – not even a hit in the States – and originally peaked at #6 in the UK back in 2003. We sadly don’t see anything else from DMX returning but we do also see Taylor Swift’s re-recorded version of “Love Story” revisiting the charts at #45 off the album boost.

Now for the songs that fell or rose this week, starting with the notable losses, being songs that dropped five spots or more. First, we have “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #13, followed by “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #17, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber at #20, “Save Your Tears” by the Weeknd at #22, “Up” by Cardi B at #23, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #25, “Latest Trends” by AI x JI plummeting at #28, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G at #29, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo at #34, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #35, “Anyone” by Justin Bieber at #40, “Black Hole” by Griff at #41, “All You Ever Wanted” by Rag’n’Bone Man at #43, “WITHOUT YOU” by the Kid LAROI at #44, “Binding Lights” by the Weeknd at #46, “Goosebumps” by HVME and Travis Scott at #47, “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #48, “Medicine” by James Arthur at #49, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #50, “Met Him Last Night” by Demi Lovato featuring Ariana Grande at #54 off of the debut, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #58, Doja Cat’s “Streets” at #60 and “Best Friend” with Saweetie at #61, “Tonight” by Ghost Killer Track featuring D-Block Europe at #62, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #63, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #66, “Track Star” by Mooski at #67, “Headshot” by Lil Tjay, Fivio Foreign and Polo G at #73, “What Other People Say” by Sam Fischer and Demi Lovato at #74 and finally, whatever’s left of Drake as “What’s Next” is at #68 and “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” with Rick Ross is at #70.

Our gains are arguably more interesting, as it’s impressive to climb five spots or higher or reach the top 40 for the first time in the midst of all this nonsense. Therefore, we do have just a few gains, those being “Runaway” by AURORA at #51 off of the debut, “Nice to Meet Ya” by Wes Nelson featuring Yxng Bane making a surprise attack at the top 40 going to #39 off of the debut, “Good Without” by Mimi Webb at #18 and “Ferrari Horses” by D-Block Europe and RAYE continuing its gains up to #16. That’s pretty much it – still took a while – so let’s get through those 14 new arrivals, huh? God help me.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing)” – Fred again.. and The Blessed Madonna

Produced by Boston Bun and Fred again..

This is one of the songs that really padded out our new arrivals list – to explain, a lot of the time, these songs were released weeks ago and only now gain enough traction to debut within the top 75 and hence be discussed by me. This one just happens to have popped up in a week where everything is going on already so it kind of gets lost in incoherency but regardless, this is a song from Ed Sheeran’s producer Fred Gibson, who I refuse to call by his stage name, from his most recent project featuring vocals from The Blessed Madonna, most commonly known right now as the producer and DJ behind the club mix edition of Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia and hence the “Levitating” remix with Missy Elliott and, well, actual Madonna. The song itself is one I’m surprised is about anything but has these mostly spoken word vocals about how we as a world have “lost dancing” to the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as hugs, and, well, that’s all she decides to elaborate about. She also guarantees that once everything is over, “what comes next will be marvellous”. Whilst I appreciate the sentiment, I think it’s almost a dangerous promise, given that we’ll be in this pandemic for longer than anyone expected and it’s pretty evident that we’ll still be keeping to social distancing as the vaccine roll-out continues all throughout this year. At this point, we’re still in lockdown and international travel will still be stunted for years after the fact. This song feels like The Blessed Madonna getting on her pedestal about the arts and their impact on people without going into any detail that warrants the soapbox, bizarrely over some synth-heavy deep house beat that decides to do little more than flutter through the entirety of the five-minute runtime. Yeah, this is pretty insufferable. Next.

#71 – “Slumber Party” – Ashnikko featuring Princess Nokia

Produced by CallMeTheKidd

Okay, so TikTok picks this one up and the label then decides to push this over “Deal with It”, a brilliant pop song that was right there and already had the high-budget video to boot? Regardless, this is taken from Ashnikko’s debut mixtape of sorts, Demidevil, and whilst as a whole the project does little more than act as harmless fun guising as anything more, a couple of the singles are genuinely pretty great, including this one, which seems to be a break-out hit for rapper Princess Nokia. This song relies on the jerkiness of its almost DJ Mustard-esque club beat and that warped might-be-a-flute loop to support Ashnikko’s similarly sloppy delivery, which decides to be as in character in possible – of which I mean that it is obnoxious and frankly ridiculously stupid. This isn’t a “slumber party” at all, and whilst the childish implications are if anything kind of unnerving, there is a lot of fun to be had here if you get past the “kawaii hentai boobies” in the chorus. Nokia’s verse continues the album’s general early 2000s aesthetic with her referencing many hits and singers from that time period in a pretty slick albeit one-and-done verse that should really be extended further than it is. I mean, I would have preferred that to Ashnikko’s second verse comparing her girlfriend to the little girl from The Addams Family, before mentioning how her eyes go black when she orgasms and that her spit tastes like Juicy Fruit gum. Okay, so when it comes to filthy lesbian rap I think I prefer acts like BASSIDE but for what it’s worth, this is surreal and fun enough for me to like. I hope it does well, but know she has better songs even on that same tape.

#69 – “Versus” – SL and M1llionz

Produced by Lucas Dante and Yng Cld

Oh, hey, another drill track by two guys produced by two guys for two guys to rap about how cool it is to be the two guys they are. I guess the gimmick here is that the single actually has an instrumental version as well for whatever reason; I guess they want people to remix the track. That would make sense, as this beat is immediately recognisable from that chipmunk squeak of a glitched vocal sample they use. In fact, I think I prefer the instrumental version because when those booming 808s come in, it hits really hard especially with the scattering drill percussion. SL and M1llionz are trading bars here in what is basically one verse and it’s not like they’re saying nothing of interest here as there is a viable enough amount of detail here in these bars about exactly what you’d expect. But that’s exactly what it is: exactly what you’d expect. By the first verse, you’ve already heard SL talk about watching The Boondocks and that’s about as interesting as it gets. Sure, the interplay between the two guys in this case is pretty smooth, but it goes on for about a minute too long and M1llionz has a lot more charisma than SL so it does feel like half the song is wasted away. The producers know that too, as they decide to fade the song out very quickly after M1llionz stops rapping his final bars. This is fine – on some days, I’d probably call it really good – but it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.

#64 – “Starstruck” – Years & Years

Produced by Mark Ralph and Nathaniel Ledwidge

We’re not even out of that bottom third of the chart and we’ve still got a lot ahead of us before we get above that point. Here, we have “Starstruck”, sadly not the Lady Gaga or 3OH!3 song but instead the first officially solo song by Years & Years, which is now just frontman Olly Alexander after his bandmates’ departure, similar to Panic! at the Disco except the members seem to be on good terms, or Ritt Momney, except no one here is a Mormon missionary... yet. Whilst you could see this from a mile away if you had listened to that last album, it would be deceiving to say it’s only Olly this time around as he’s enlisted several outside producers and writers to craft a pretty straightforward love song. Well, is it any good? I’m not entirely sold on it, mostly because it seems to reject all of the lyrical intrigue there was in those past two albums – at least intermittently – for a pretty generic if not pure and lovely content, with the most interesting of lyrics being about sipping his partner up like cosmic juice, which I’ll admit got a laugh out of me. It is fitting for how this janky dance-pop song sounds as sonically it’s kind of a quirky mess with a lot of bassy grooves in the verses only to be replaced by a shiny synth blend that completely shrouds the chorus in video game sound effects and French house-esque filter effects. This sound is very much a late-2000s early-2010s throwback in some ways and throwing it back even further in others, which creates an interesting sound but not enough to not let this become easily stale after just the second chorus, especially if it’s going to purposefully fumble its climax for an awkward build-up that involves basically revealing the drop measures before it should have. Yeah, I want to like this but it just seems kind of confused as it is. I’m still going to listen to that third album whenever it comes, but I’m somewhat disappointed with this lead single thus far.

#57 – “Lingo” – Deno featuring J.I. the Prince of NY and Chunkz

Produced by Da Beatfreakz

Alright, so British rapper Deno has enlisted New York rapper J.I. – who I refuse to call by his full stage name – and Chunkz, who I’m pretty sure is some YouTuber, to hop on a beat from DaBeatfreakz, specifically this watery R&B beat with vocal loops drowned out by bass and some awkward mixing. Deno isn’t much of a presence in the verse or chorus, J.I. talks about some girl not chewing him right and Chunkz, who sounds awful on any beat with the whiny Auto-Tuned mumble, somehow doesn’t say anything of interest despite being the semi-professional comedian of these three guys, or at least not before Deno takes over his verse and they all give up for the last couple measures. Yes, that was one sentence – this song doesn’t deserve much more.

#56 – “Shy Away” – twenty one pilots

Produced by Tyler Joseph

I’ve never been that big a fan of twenty one pilots, but I was actually pretty fond of her most recent album, Trench. What fascinates me about them is how they seemed to have done really well for themselves that one time in the Blurryface era and have coasted off the success of that to fund some of their more out-there and experimental musical aspirations. I don’t think they’re looking for big hits anymore – which is good because this won’t be one – but people will always be looking out for what they do next, and they’ve just announced a new album coming soon with this as the lead single. Thankfully, it’s not that COVID-19 pandemic pandering from last year which got on my nerves a lot more than it should. “Shy Away”, instead, goes for... 1980s dance-punk, because, of course. I do love that jerky synth lead and how well it’s backed by that chugging bass and percussion, which we’ll always know is organic coming from Josh Dun. The song itself is a somewhat vague motivational track but not for no reason, as these lyrics actually originated from when Tyler Joseph was giving advice to his brother, a budding musician, trying to get him to see himself in a new light and find his unique purpose in music and not to “shy away” from continuing with his dreams. I can get behind that, especially if it’s going to have squealing guitar segues, an infectious power-pop chorus that will probably not leave my head for a long time and the excellent swell of guitars in that third verse before the brief breakdown in the post-chorus with all those squibbling synth effects. It’s just a wonderfully constructed song on all accounts, even if it sacrifices some of that unique personality we usually get from Tyler for the sake of making a tighter pop-rock song.

#52 – “You Belong with Me” (Taylor’s Version) – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Christopher Rowe

I guess the best place to start with these re-recordings is the original song, which I’ve never liked. I’ve never seen a reason to enjoy Taylor’s entitled adolescent whining over some pretty garbage production making what may as well be organic country instrumentation sound like MIDI tracks. She doesn’t deliver a particularly good vocal performance, or at least one good enough to excuse “She wear short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers”. There isn’t enough detail to make this seem like a toxic relationship so she ends up just sounding bratty. This new version, from a matured Taylor Swift a decade later, has decided not to change any of these lyrics and it just sounds worse coming from a Taylor who clearly knows a lot better and is in a happy relationship. Okay, the instrumentation sounds a lot more organic and has more of a groove than it used to, with some more intricate production moments that are cool, but that’s really the only change that improves on an already mediocre song. Taylor’s voice has improved a lot since that original recording but so has she, and her selling these lyrics with as much conviction while in her 30s just ends up sounding sad. It only makes sense to “reclaim” these songs if you’re going to try and make them your own again, and not representative of someone I don’t think Taylor is anymore. Alas, it’s listenable, but this could have been one of the more interesting re-recordings and nothing was done with it past the better mixing and a pretty epic guitar solo, even if it does feel unwarranted by the content.

#42 – “Way Too Long” – Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack

Produced by Scribz Riley, Tré Jean-Marie, Nathan Dawe and GRADES

For someone who is solely a producer and DJ, I say that’s two or three too many credited producers, but regardless, before we get to more Taylor Swift, which we will eventually, we’ve got some leftover house track with B-list stars that starts with the words, “Hey, yo, yo, it’s Stack Rack”. With that said, I actually kind of like this song with its strings swelling more than the usual track and its bass-heavy club groove in the verses being more complex in its percussion, especially when the sound design is that interesting in the second half of the verse as all of these effects and different synth patterns occur in the back of the mix, which kind of lets me forgive how anti-climactic the drop is. It’s not really an EDM song as much as it’s a light-hearted pop track and Anne-Marie isn’t taking it as seriously as she could, especially on that vocoder-drop chorus, which makes the song a lot more fun that it should be. MoStack is who really shines on this track though, as his verse is – probably unintentionally – very funny, as he twists the meaning of the song to a phallic joke, happily engages in monogamy, particularly with every British pop-star he can think of and says “forget quality, I want quantity”. He just lists famous singers by the end of this verse that he finds attractive and is completely gone off the deep-end by the time he’s ignored by Anne-Marie’s swell of a chorus. It’s not a great song and definitely falls into the traps that most EDM does but as it is, it’s a fun track with a surprisingly hilarious and sloppy guest verse from MoStack that I was not expecting, as well as just being inoffensive across the board.

#33 – “Mercury” – Dave featuring Kamal.

Produced by Manny Manhattan and Kyle Evans

Dave released a double A-side single – or at least whatever the equivalent for that is in the streaming age – and this was the less popular track, “Mercury”, with singer Kamal. If you don’t know Dave is, he’s one of the biggest and most celebrated rappers in the UK and this is his first solo release since 2019. I’ve usually been pretty happy with Dave’s releases – hell, Psychodrama was one of my favourite albums of 2019 – but I’m not entirely sure I can endorse this lazy trap beat relying on some gentle but overbearing pianos and groovier bass knocks. Really, the beat is pretty minimal so we can focus on what Dave’s saying, right? Well, we could, but why would we want to? Sure, there’s some good wordplay weaved into here and I don’t dislike his stories about gang violence and paranoia, even if they’re delivered in the most checked-out almost condescending way possible, but I can’t get behind the misogyny that seems to run a lot deeper than it does in typical rap. Sure, he makes the same googly-eyed observations about attractive women, describes some parts of the sex but interestingly not any part he plays, and also describes her as a “work of art”, but this is all after he dismisses women in general for not “forgiving him for his sins”, in some thinly-veiled Ariana Grande reference that leaves me more pissed off than he is, especially since Dave’s not as self-aware as he thinks he is, particularly because he himself can barely forgive himself for his wrongs in that second verse. Instead, he shrouds it in hedonism like any other rapper – what have the women got to do other than make good decisions for themselves about who they sleep with? He doesn’t go into disgusting detail like Digga D on “Toxic” but it rubs me the wrong way, especially if he’s going to then complain about the myth that is cancel culture. If this comes from a genuine place where he was genuinely attacked for something he didn’t deserve the abuse for, I’d understand, but why even complain about the supposed mob of Twitter users when the only tie you have to it is something reported on your brother by the right-wing press that everyone ignored? Other than missing the point terribly, it’s not like this song is catchy or notable. Even he acknowledges that this five-minute bore wouldn’t make the album, and it’s for good reason.

#32 – “Anywhere Away from Here” – Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk

Produced by Rag’n’Bone Man, Mike Elizondo and Ben Jackson-Cook

So this is Rag’n’Bone Man’s second single from that upcoming album, or at least the second to chart, and after the surprisingly great post-punk rocker that was “All You Ever Wanted”, I’m excited to hear what a duet with P!nk could sound like. After all, they’re both rougher voices in the pop sphere, even if P!nk’s been doing it for much longer. Sadly, it’s a ballad... not to say they can’t do ballads well but this is a pretty minimal piano-lead track with some really badly mixed vocals from Rag’n’Bone Man as he channels an unintelligible Dave Grohl that’s way too loud in the mix, especially when the strings come in and cloud the mix. I do like the content once again with Rag’n’Bone Man as he continues to discuss the careless days of his youth, but this is more about growing older and eventually growing discontent with that lifestyle and each other, just wanting to be somewhere else. P!nk delivers this in a way that’s a lot more flattering to her voice and the instrumental, but when the borderline choir vocals come in with those terribly-mixed harmonies between the two and that pointless bridge, I give up on this song. It just refuses to go anywhere, I’m sorry, and it had a lot of potential but these voices don’t particularly mesh together especially over some basic piano and strings. This could have been great and as is, is less than mediocre.

#30 – “Mr. Perfectly Fine” (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault) – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Jack Antonoff

I didn’t listen to the re-recorded version of Fearless; instead I just listened to the six or so bonus “from the vault” tracks because that’s the only new content and I’m not big on any of it. It sounds exactly as you’d expect a 31-year-old woman reciting lyrics she wrote and shelved when she was a teenager, not even thinking they were good enough to release then, decades after the fact, and most of the songs just aren’t interesting at all. I think “Bye Bye Baby” is a great pop song but besides that there’s nothing much to enjoy in these tracks, at least from me. I know that Taylor’s biggest fans will love how she re-recorded leaked and rumoured songs that had been circulating but as someone detached from that, it does nothing for me. This song in particular is about Joe Jonas, because, of course, it was, and it’s a petty, sarcastic break-up song Taylor should be able to deliver confidently but ends up falling flat based on almost that awful verse melody alone, which is just janky, unpleasant and stretched out to the point of annoyance, especially if it’s going to be produced this well. She dug up this track seemingly only to get Antonoff on the record, and, sure, the chorus is catchy and has that one great moment with those crashing guitars, but it enjoys killing its momentum as soon as it gets going... for five minutes. Yeah, I’m sorry but I’m not interested in what was left on the cutting room floor a decade separated from the release of this re-recording, especially if this fully-fleshed instrumentation does little more than distract from how dreadfully boring this song is. Wake me up when she re-records Speak Now or especially reputation, because that will truly be fascinating.

#10 – “Kiss Me More” – Doja Cat featuring SZA

Produced by tizhimself, Carter Lang, Rogét Chahayed and Yeti Beats

I’ve forgotten to mention that three of those 14 new arrivals actually debuted in the top 10 this week, meaning, yes, whilst we’re nearly done, we’ve still got a lot to cover and we start with what seems to be the lead single from Doja Cat’s upcoming album, as she enlists SZA to assist her on this classily unclassy disco-pop song. Those main guitars do sound great, especially with Doja’s signature cooing over them, and that’s before we get to that slick pink disco groove not dissimilar to “Say So” but with a tighter, fun bassline and how quickly Doja strips off the subtlety. I could do without that mess of a post-chorus that is just a blend of too many, not very great vocal takes, but I do love how it leads into Doja’s unsubtle sex bars that actually go into some interesting detail, but not as much SZA being kind of filthy but also delivering a pretty great vocal performance, even if she starts with asking her partner for that “gushy stuff”. I do find it odd that it decides to censor “dick” of all words, but this production is great and I actually particularly like that final chorus and post-chorus once SZA starts harmonising on it. As is, it’s a pretty tight and likeable disco jam from two charismatic performers... co-written by Dr. Luke. Goddamn it, Doja, I don’t know what contract he’s got you in but Jesus, someone do something about that.

#9 – “Titanium” – Dave

Produced by Kyle Evans and P2J

This is our second Dave song and obviously the more successful of the two, at about three minutes shorter – thankfully – debuting in the top 10. It’s much better than “Mercury”, even if the song literally starts with him bragging about not needing vibrators to make his girlfriend orgasm. That said, the lyrics here are actually a lot slicker, flowing much like he did on “Streatham” as he lists so many precious metals you’d think he’s Bender. I do like the intricacies in these lyrics, even if he doesn’t really adapt it into any wordplay. He mentions how awkward that it is that his neighbours are going to vote Conservative as he brags in an almost freestyle-like structure in the single verse he spits, which has a couple flow switches and a lot more empty space than it should for a beat this awkwardly mixed, as whilst I like the trap percussion here, it really does not sound that great over borderline MIDI pianos. The little string inflections and drum fills here are cool though, and those intricacies are what makes Dave’s verse so interesting, as he foreshadows his bar about Tyson Fury with an ad-lib that Fury used himself as a build-up for his boxing matches. His JAY-Z references are also on point and pretty clever, it’s just that there’s still not much to this past that and I’m left pretty underwhelmed with these releases from Dave, even if they’re not from that next album, whenever that’s coming.

#3 – “RAPSTAR” – Polo G

Produced by Einer Bankz and Synco

Well, Lil Tjay debuted at #2 a couple weeks ago so I guess it’s only fair for his fellow “Pop Out” rapper, and the one I personally immensely prefer, Polo G to have his surprise, kind-of-out-of-nowhere top 5 debut. Much like “MONTERO”, this track was being teased for nearly a year, having first been shown as an acoustic collaboration with professional ukulele player – yes, seriously – Einer Bankz, who’s also credited with production here, in May of 2020. Just shy of a year afterwards, we get “RAPSTAR”, in the same vein of other all-caps trap songs about musical success like “ROCKSTAR” or “POPSTAR”. Maybe next we’ll get “NEOCLASSICAL DARK WAVESTAR”. Regardless, this song is basically just about being epic and Polo G can effectively sell that even in his more basic flexing because of that intermittent detail like when he says the only woman he talks to is Siri, which isn’t even a brag or a flex, more a sad admission of his crippling loneliness which I don’t think was intended. He also does more than empty flexing, discussing his past drug addictions and how he coped with that alongside all of the struggles he had to overcome at the same time. That second verse may start with him saying he’s 2Pac reborn but it goes a lot deeper into his anxieties than I expected. All of this is over a melancholy guitar-based beat with some great bass and better mixing than is expected of these pop-trap singles, even if it’s still far from perfect. Those eerie vocal loops in the background add a lot to this song and I think that chorus has a pretty great build-up, even if the percussion may seem a bit too basic and uncomplicated as an effective drop. I can’t really complain about this at all, though, as it is really good for what it is and I’m glad it’s this high.

Conclusion

And with that, I’m finally, FINALLY finished with scouring through these new arrivals and I’ll admit that it was less of a mixed bag and more of a generally positive week, at least for me, as I found more I liked than anything I disliked, particularly with Best of the Week as that goes to twenty one pilots for “Shy Away”, with the Honourable Mention going to Ashnikko’s “Slumber Party” featuring Princess Nokia, although there’s a lot to praise on the charts this week. In terms of Worst of the Week, it’s probably going to go to Fred again.. and The Blessed Madonna for “Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing)”, with a Dishonourable Mention for, sadly, Dave’s “Mercury” featuring Kamal. I would like to note that Taylor Swift was awfully closer than she should be to getting that this week. Here’s this week’s top 10:

What to expect from this week? Gosh, I don’t know. AJ Tracey? Young Thug? Either way, we’ll see whatever happens to all this – whether it gets flooded out or they all end up sticking around – next week, so I’ll see you then. Thanks for reading.

[ghostmartyr]

Fic: While We Live, Let Us Live

Fandom: Attack on Titan Title: While We Live, Let Us Live Author: Immi Rating: PG-13 Summary: Amnesia’s a small price to pay for being alive. Historia remembers, Ymir doesn’t, and love bowls them over just the same. Notes: It’s not... not canon compliant? Yet? This is a Good End post-finale fic where Ymir has survived Galliard’s inheritance of the Jaw Titan. Cue a return to Paradis and shippiness.

There was a certain creep factor in meeting people who knew more about you than you knew about yourself. Ymir had mostly gotten used to it, with Reiner, but Reiner was the kind of wet blanket who liked to pretend he never knew her, and just happened across some stray Eldian amnesiac alongside the road and thought throwing his influence around to get her a private hospital bed was the sort of thing anyone would do every day, for all sorts of reasons that had nothing to do with guilt.

If she had any memories at all, she was pretty sure she could have had a blast winding him up. It was a little harder to do when she didn’t have a clue what had gone wrong in her life to land her in his care.

She had more than a clue nowadays. She had a whole classified military file on all the ways she was supposed to be dead.

Nothing in it really explained why the so-called heroes of the latest Eldian war knew her by name and looked about ready to pop into tears at the sight of her.

Reiner said they were friends.

Pock told her to stop looking at him like he had the answers just because he had a bit of her old life playing back in his head. He’d said a few more unflattering things when she pointed out that he did have the answers, he was just a recalcitrant ass about it thanks to his hate-on for Reiner.

What was even the point of insulting her parents’ breeding habits. For all any of the people she met knew, she could have spawned out of midair and ended up with the same crappy life that led her into theirs.

That was a thing that was actually in the file she wasn’t supposed to have. She was technically older than all these people, which made it really obvious how little respect anyone she associated with had for their elders. It also came with the perk of the majority of the life she couldn’t remember not meaning a damn thing to anything with a pulse.

It was those few years after she’d gone to town on Pock’s brother that caused the issues, these days.

The day of also came with a few challenges, but it wasn’t like Pock ever wanted to be in the same room as her anyway.

Minus that one time where he thought he’d be returning the favor she’d paid his brother.

Most of what she heard in Marley about her previous life was gory and angsty enough that she got by just fine not remembering a whit of it. As far as she could tell, that was all everyone else wanted. She was the only person she knew who didn’t wake up screaming five times a week over one thing or another.

She was counting her new old friends in that list.

The ones who did care about her not remembering them.

Thanks to her having a life after gobbling down Pock’s brother.

A life that she hadn’t totally ruined, from the sound of things, and by how distraught some of the creepers were when they first tackled her to the ship deck. The bald kid could barely get a word out.

Then he had, and so came the picture of how she totally had ruined her life.

She’d gone from a hospital ward to the frontlines of a battlefield trying to keep Reiner from ending up in a very different hospital ward in the blink of an eye, so she couldn’t really be shocked that she’d followed a similar path of personal destruction once upon a time.

Though it came across like it’d cost her a lot more than just her memories.

Or it’d cost someone they liked more a lot more than just Ymir’s memories.

She must have heard the name a million times that first damn hour back in their company.

Historia.

Past the hugging and the sobbing, that was all anyone could say to her. Even Reiner was hung up on it. His version came with a lot more horror and a shipload of new guilt, but the impression Ymir got was still that her life basically revolved around this girl, and that was really important so she should care.

Oh yeah, and the girl was the queen of the place they were headed. In case the emotional heft she didn’t feel hadn’t gotten the Importance across.

Between Reiner and the gloomy Titan who needed a haircut (and the bald kid, and the girl who had joined him in tackling her halfway into the ocean), she pulled out enough of the story to get the gist.

She was not going to enjoy meeting Historia.

Somehow, in a life she didn’t remember, this one girl had done such a number on her that she’d almost killed herself for her a dozen odd times, including an incident where she took on a shrieking mass of hungry titans and got a few limb torn off, and really, everything she heard was mostly good for convincing her that more tears and even less comfort with her lack of memories awaited.

And Reiner and his crew were on such thin ice that she’d have to be more of a dick than she thought she wanted to be to diss the queen outright.

All in all, the hospital room hadn’t been so bad.

What might have been more creepy than hanging out with a bunch of people who know more about yourself than you ever will...

Was meeting Historia Reiss.

“Might,” was pretty damn generous.

The first disturbing thing was that she was pretty.

Start-wars-over-it pretty. Not that any place she could remember being needed much of a reason to begin with.

She moved with the same grace all the Paradis folks had. Like the gear they wore was just for show, and they could rise up into the air at a thought. She’d seen that flight in action. She wouldn’t mind giving it a shot. Reiner said she had the training for it.

This girl, though. Blonde hair gleaming in the sunlight, longer than most of her soldiers wore it; face way too tense for those flowing steps; and a soft voice that carried commands into every ear. She had to be half the size of everyone on the ship. She was even shorter than that prized fighter of theirs.

Ymir was not interested in staring at the girl she’d given up everything for. She didn’t have much everything left, and what she did have was all hers, not whatever she’d been before’s.

She stared.

She didn’t have her memories. She wasn’t naive enough to think that was open to change. Pock had them, and in return she still had a beating heart. No refunds. Life was stingy like that.

That beating heart of hers went into overdrive anyway.

It was just one look.

It lasted a lifetime, since her eyes somehow forgot how to blink, but it was still only one look. One look for her chest to ache with want, and pain, and something so glorious that there wasn’t enough room inside of her to hold it.

That was before Historia looked back.

That was before Ymir took a single step forward and was paralyzed by a beauty that outshone the world.

Someone had to have warned her. No one would be cruel enough to let her believe it was a real reunion between her and her loved one. Every word people had bounced at Ymir had love laced between. These people, the ones she knew once, were a family, and there was no way they wouldn’t look out for this girl.

She had to have known, when she first looked Ymir in the eye.

This wasn’t the girl she knew.

This wasn’t the girl she loved.

Just some ancient war token that no one knew what to do with.

She smiled anyway.

The steps Ymir couldn’t take vanished under her quick feet, and she had to know, she had to, but she was smiling, and beautiful, and there was no one else in her eyes. The world shrunk to hold the two of them, a blistering haze of joy outstripping every pain Ymir had never felt.

“You don’t remember me,” Historia Reiss said, gentle warmth exuded with every word, brightness and victory trailing a moment behind, “but my name’s Historia.”

She held out her hand.

Before their fingers even grazed, Ymir knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she’d be willing to die for this girl all over again.

The terror of it wasn’t enough to change that.

People were not meant to be this nice.

Ymir knew that what few years she had of life to look back on weren’t the greatest indicator of human behavior, but as near as she could tell, there was no excuse in the world for Historia to beam like the sun every time they happened to make eye contact. Blinding, unnecessary, and enough to make her feel like she was waking up after some extended hibernation.

Anything Ymir needed was taken care of without a word. Want a warm bed? Regular meals? Done. Want to steer clear of all the political crap every single person who knew her name had gotten embroiled in? Super. Want to wander around outside without being watched for once? Hey, it was time for the guards to have stealth practice anyway.

It wouldn’t have been quite so weird if Historia actually talked to her. Whatever people skills the Paradis queen had, they stalled out at smiles and staring when they were together.

Ymir wanted to say she was better, and she was, because she just stuck with the staring, but the whole thing was getting on her nerves.

"What’s the problem, Ugly? She’s happy you’re back.”

Ymir flicked a pebble at Connie’s head, lounging on a boulder by the field where his mother was staying. The tiny guy’s only remaining family was a titan, free to live a life tied to the ground and starving.

Like a normal person, that made him miserable. One of her other new old friends, Sasha, came with him sometimes to visit the neglected parent, but he mostly went by himself. Until Ymir started inviting herself along. They were both surprised by that.

He kicked her when she first met the last titan, hidden away in some unused farm space, and said she could see the family resemblance. Because this relationship actually made sense, and didn’t strangle her heart or kill all her higher brain function.

“She knows I don’t remember her, right? She’s doing this for some stranger who couldn’t care less about her or all her damage.”

Connie shrugged, watching his mother. Despite logic laughing at him for thinking gestures like that mattered, his mother was looking back. She never saw anything else when he was around.

Was everyone on this damn island broken?

“For someone who doesn’t care, you sure spend a lot of time whining about it,” he said, popping the lid on his canteen. “You’re as bad as you used to be with her, you just mope instead of jumping off buildings.”

Ymir rolled her eyes, a flush of indignant heat finding her. “I don’t know a thing about her except that she’s too damn nice. What kind of starting point is that?”

Connie tossed the pebble she’d flicked over back at her. “If it bugs you so much, why don’t you just talk to her? Like one of those normal people you’re always saying you are.”

“Yeah, since normal people have the Queen waiting at their beck and call. She just hangs out waiting for them to need her so she can bend over backwards to make their lives better.” She plucked Connie’s canteen out of his hands and took a sip. “We’re supposed to be devils. Where did you even find someone like her?”

Connie gave her the look everyone around her liked handing out when they were thinking how much simpler their lives would be if she could remember hers. “In whatever hole you pushed her out of.”

Ymir decided to wait on telling Connie she was taking his advice. Then when it all went terribly she could just laugh at him instead of having to put up with his encouraging her. Like she really needed someone’s hand to hold over a simple conversation.

A simple conversation that several diplomatic meetings got rearranged over.

If people didn’t keep telling her how much she’d meant to their reigning monarch, a three-second examination of any choice Historia had made since Ymir showed up on her island would have cleared it up just fine.

Ymir sat on the desk in the room she’d chosen for this little talk. Her first thought was to play it down and use her room. Then she thought about how she reacted to the girl when they weren’t in private and kicked an aide out of his office.

When Historia walked in, guards positioned safely out of sight, she congratulated herself on her choice, because she had common sense even if she didn’t have her memories, and she would not survive having this girl in her personal space.

She was beautiful. Even before the smile she saved for Ymir came out.

With it, Ymir had never heard of common sense, never knew it, and would need a full reintroduction for it to have a prayer of influencing her life. If there was any justice in the world, it and Historia would switch places.

“You wanted to talk to me?”

Every second of every day for the rest of my life.

It was disgusting how fast she could go from zero to sap with Historia in the room. Everyone expecting it almost made her want to look at her old memories so that she’d have some idea of how some girl she could lift over her head with one arm had her so completely whipped.

Ymir focused on keeping her slouch against the desk casual. “Yeah, I did.”

How did someone with such an honest face get into politics? Oh right, nepotism. Historia had enough practice to hide the jolt of hope that flashed across her face, but Ymir, since the staring still wasn’t a thing she had control over, still caught it.

“About anything in particular?” Historia asked. She was even worse at keeping the longing out of her voice.

One of the major players in finding world peace, and she couldn’t go a minute without melting in front of the girl she liked. That should have evened the playing field, but all it did was bring out a skipping heartbeat Ymir didn’t need.

“You rearranged your whole day for a talk with some nobody and you don’t know what it’s about? With strategic planning like that, I can see why everyone wants you in charge,” Ymir said.

She liked that look in the Queen’s eyes. That spark of challenge that she was too sweet and sugary to let out. Almost as much as her body liked the shroud of dark sincerity that whisked it away.

“You’re not nobody,” Historia said. Looking straight into Ymir’s soul, and somehow believing that with an earnest intensity that empires fell against.

Ymir looked away. Parchment crumpled under her balled hands, and Historia too another couple of steps forward. She didn’t have to look to know that. It was like her whole body was wired to know where she was, and want her closer.

“What are you getting out of this?” she muttered.

She knew what she was. Someone to look at her like that. Someone who moved mountains for her and made her heart glow and never asked for a damn thing in return.

But that was just it. The way everyone else saw it, she was an incomplete version of someone they all cared for. They were all sad there wasn’t more to her, even if they tried to hide it. They sucked at hiding things. They wanted their friend back. Even Connie, and he was the one who was willing to be friends with the new her anyway. The person she lived knowing herself to be wasn’t enough for any of them, and they thought lying about that was less painful than coming out and saying it.

Except for Historia.

The person everyone kept telling her cared most.

The person standing right in front of her, the pain all of this should have been putting her through nowhere in sight, because she was that nice, or that practiced at stashing it under warm smiles and kindness that belonged to someone else.

“You,” Historia said. “I get you.”

Why that was what did it would have to stay a mystery.

What it set off wasn’t.

Ymir ripped herself from the desk and grabbed Historia by the neck of her dress, temper clenching her fists and heart bleeding all over the blatant stupidity that made it sing.

Heat raced through her, stinging her eyes. “That person isn’t even here anymore.”

Letting go might have been the smart choice. She didn’t. She leaned in close, looking for the moment when all the awe-inspiring, glorious love remembered who was standing in front of it, and turned to pain.

She’d never once seen this girl in the agony that life demanded from her. It was there, and raw, and overpowering, because it had to be, but all she got was smiles and joy, and remembering fewer years than everyone else didn’t mean she was born yesterday.

She glowered down at Historia, waiting, waiting, and completely unable and unwilling to stop her mouth from running.

“Stop acting like you’re okay with all of this. Like me being alive is enough for you. You’re pretending that it’s all fine, because I made it through and that’s all you wanted, but that’s crap, and we both know it. You don’t want me alive, you want me.” Ymir breathed in heavily, holding back the bitter laughter. “Only guess what, that version's not here anymore! She up and ditched you! Your girlfriend left, and all that came back was some empty husk!”

She threw her hand down from gripping Historia’s dress. The little queen’s expression had gone blank, and part of her relished in destroying all of the good feelings that being together brought to life in her. She shook her head, and bared her teeth in a grin she’d never felt less.

“What the fuck is wrong with you that you’re not pissed about that?”

Historia’s head slammed into her jaw.

Ymir saw stars.

Her head snapped back, feet sliding out from under her, back crashing into the desk. The rest of her should have followed, but a rough hand grabbed her by the front of her shirt before she could fall, and the next thing Ymir was aware of was the floor.

The floor, and Historia on top of her, chest heaving, and none of the ruinous pain in sight. Just a firestorm of rage.

All directed at her.

“Fine,” she said, spitting the word out venomously. “Fine. You left. You left and got yourself killed, and I don’t know if you’re ever going to remember me, or who you were, and if you had just stayed, none of this would be happening.” Her hands shook around Ymir’s collar. Ymir wanted to blame them on her inability to breathe. “But you didn’t. You ran off being stupid and noble, and all you had to say about it was one letter telling me all about how you were going to die.”

Her voice cracked. “And now you’re here. You’re here and alive, and if you hadn’t sold off all your memories, maybe you’d understand why that’s enough.

“I don’t need you to be mine. I don’t need you to remember who I am. I don’t even need you to like me!”

The shouting hit a snag, Historia’s grip on Ymir’s shirt having yanked them thoroughly into the same air. Her eyes glittered with several years worth of tears, and damn it all, Ymir thought they were pretty enough before they started shining like the frigging night sky. One human being had no business being this attractive.

Teardrops landed on her cheek. Rolling down her face instead of Historia’s.

Ymir didn’t know what to make of the ones joining in from her eyes.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” Historia said. Her voice warbled, but the same steel Ymir caught in every one of her speeches was out in force. Though it had never really felt like this. Hard and intimate, with every word belonging to Ymir’s ears only. “You’re here and not dead, and I’m happy. Being with you--being near you, hearing your voice, watching you smile or roll your eyes or pull some idiotic stunt... I thought all of that was gone forever. I thought you were only a memory, and all I’ve done for the past four years is wonder when I’d lose that, too, and how a world without you could ever make sense.”

She blinked rapidly, scattering more tears and glaring at Ymir like this whole mess was her fault.

Maybe for the first time, Ymir appreciated how much it definitely was.

“I love you,” Historia declared.

“You don’t get to say that doesn’t matter just because you don’t remember loving me back.”

She let go. With vigor. Ymir’s skull thudded against the floor, and the Queen of Paradis stood up from straddling her and stomped out the room. The slamming door barely registered.

Ymir lay there. Her fingers absently wound around a thread Historia’s hands had wrung free from her shirt. If any other part of her was needed, it was gonna have to wait in line.

She’d walked away from that girl once.

Of her own free will.

What the fuck.

Ymir decided not to tell Connie any of it.

He retaliated by not commenting on her bruised face.

She sat on her rock, watching him watch his mom, stewing in every horrible decision the last idiot running her body had made, along with the several she could take credit for.

“I wrote her a letter?”

Connie’s head snapped her way, and he was nowhere as good as Historia at disguising the hope in his eyes. “You remember?”

“Not so much. A little birdie brought it up.” Loudly.

Connie wilted, but not as much as Sasha would have. And without the crippling depression Reiner had reacted with. He had more feelings tied up in that letter than Historia did. Unfortunately, now that people were letting him be a good boy, he thought it wasn’t his place to tell her what’d been in it.

Her more well-adjusted buddy looked similarly uncomfortable.

“So,” she said, “you know what it was about?”

“I don’t know what was on it,” he admitted slowly. “But I think it was a private thing. For both of you."

Ymir shifted uncomfortably on top of the boulder, glancing up at the sky. “What, confessing my love before I kicked it?”

“Maybe?”

“Great, I’m sure that wasn’t emotionally scarring at all.”

Connie didn’t say anything. He’d been one of the people present when Pock and Historia first crossed paths. Before the end of the war. Ymir didn’t know everything about that, but she’d heard the stories.

The idea of someone she didn’t know being that broken up over her had bothered her at the time.

Now she had a memory of what Historia crying looked like, and a new reason to be bothered.

She left the field without Connie.

Historia’s guards didn’t even have the decency to look suspicious when she knocked on her bedroom door in the middle of the night. These weren’t people any version of her had met. They just had a natural expectation that she’d want to talk to their supreme leader at random, inconvenient times, and were perfectly okay with that.

They probably had orders to be perfectly okay with that.

Ymir probably wasn’t intended to find that sort of hot. She tried not to. It was aggravating, not compelling. Some other her was the one who’d tripped herself down a hill falling for Historia. Her approach still had some dignity to it.

She didn’t completely dissolve into mush when Historia opened the door in a sleepy stupor. She thought she might, but the edge Historia’s eyes took on before losing out to the relief she carried around like a banner was the type of attractive that commanded attention.

“Hi,” Ymir said. “Invite me in?”

Historia waited a few seconds. Enough to fully remind both of them how their last visit went, and enough for Ymir to wonder if there was some protocol she was meant to follow after getting in a shouting match with royalty. Which might have been the point. But the moment passed, and Historia stepped aside with an eyeroll that had too much softness in it to be effective.

Ymir had never been in Historia’s bedroom before.

She wasn’t going to think about that. She took in the scenery instead.

Windows covered an entire wall, thick curtains drawn carelessly over them so a crack of moonlight splayed over the floor. Oversized furniture was shoved into corners, and the wealth everything was covered in only made the total lack of personal touches stand out more.

Except for the floor, which was covered with the disemboweled remains of a bed. The amount of fluff stripped from the actual bed was enough to get lost in. Impossibly cushy and warm, and stacked high enough to be a tripping hazard. Fit for a queen, even if the one in question wasn’t interested in using any of it. Ymir wondered if any of the maids ever tried to complain, or if Historia put it all back each morning before anyone saw.

Historia stepped over the pile without a thought, plopping back on her bed and sitting against the headboard. Her eyes were half shut, but Ymir could feel them on her. Taking in every tense muscle and scar. Trailing up and down with something a little past affection and deep into trouble. Ymir crossed her arms and started investigating the chandelier hooked to the ceiling.

“You stare at all your guests this way,” she asked blithely, delighting in Historia’s embarrassed jump, “or am I just special?”

She turned back in time to catch the splash of red blossoming in Historia’s cheeks, feeling pleased enough with herself to ignore what she’d think of her face if she had a mirror around. Along with the dangerous corner of her mind looking for Historia to say the magic words one more time.

Historia rubbed at her face, a bit more awake, and a bit less patient. “You wanted something?”

Ymir smirked. “Would you let me stay if I said no?”

“Probably.” Historia closed her eyes fully, resting her head on her fist. Still slumped against the headboard, the covers she hadn’t tossed on the floor were pooled by her feet. Probably where she kicked them aside when she heard the knock on her door. Sloppy, human behavior. Nothing like the goddess all of her staff called her.

It was cute.

It made Ymir’s chest feel like it was going to burst, but still. Cute.

“You said I wrote you a letter.”

And there was that ruined. Historia’s eyes snapped back open, meeting hers. Ymir couldn’t say she cared for that at the moment, so she went back to pretending to care about the wall hangings generations of fake kings had slept under until the real deal showed up. It made the words come easier, and if this was going to be uncomfortable and awkward, there was no reason to draw it out.

“Do you have it around?”

Silence got into her ears. Her heart kept trying to block it out, and didn’t do such a bad job, but the easy, relaxed stillness of the overstuffed bedroom had frosted over.

Bedsprings squeaked.

Feet dropped to the floor.

A drawer slid open.

Ymir waited, anticipating anything from a punch to delicate questions about whether or not this was really a thing she was interested in exposing herself to.

She didn’t get either. A quick tap of parchment landed on her head. The silence stuck with it, but she turned around and pulled the offending item from Historia’s fingers. It was so worn it was almost soft. Keeping with the tactile comfort, Ymir dropped to Historia’s bed and crossed her legs on top of her blankets.

A moment later, the mattress dipped behind her, warmth returning to the night.

Back to back with the person the damn thing was addressed to, Ymir wondered how much of this was a mistake. It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t magically make her the one who wrote the words down.

But she’d known what she was getting into, fixing that arrangement with Reiner. She knew she’d be forgetting everything, even the person she was writing to, and she’d gone for it anyway. In her last days, she’d gone ahead and decided that this mattered.

Some part of her besides her heart had felt worth preserving and handing over to this girl. She’d wanted it to survive even if nothing else did. The last piece of thought from someone who’d understood being wildly in love, and being loved back.

It was hard not to be curious.

She started reading.

“I don’t know how much people have told you,” Historia said, voice following along with the only written record of the life Ymir had given up. “My name was Krista when we first met.”

But one day, a man showed up and gave me a name.

“My father gave it to me to keep me from dying.”

All I had to do was take it, and then I was given a fine bed and fed meals.

“I thought it was the chance to be someone else. Someone better than who I was. The illegitimate child that everyone hated. Someone the world would be better off without.”

Those adults who, until then, acted like I was invisible all got on their knees and revered me.

“Krista was what I came up with. Someone everyone would love, who could make people feel better instead of worse. Who could be a hero instead of a disappointment.”

All I had to do to make everyone delighted and happy was play the role I had been given.

“You were the only one who saw Historia through her.”

I thought if that’s what would save them...

“You told me to live my life with pride, under my own name.”

I opened my eyes again, and spread before me was freedom.

“After you left, I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t know if I could. ...But I wanted to.”

From there, I began to walk, and I lived the way I wanted.

“Not for you or anyone else. For myself.”

I have no regrets.

Or so I’d like to say.

Ymir rubbed her thumb over the final message she’d left. The letters were streaky. Someone had spent a long time crying over them to blur the ink that much.

“Then you came back.”

She looked over at the nightstand drawer Historia had pulled the letter from. Against her back, Historia had relaxed enough to rest the back of her head on Ymir’s shoulder. Her breathing was calm and regular.

Ymir looked down at the letter. All the words her hands had written down. Her memoir of a thing no one else alive knew about. Because letting bad memories stay dead was for chumps, and people who liked sleeping through the night once in a while.

She glanced over her shoulder. At Historia.

Who, going by the state of the letter in Ymir’s hands, had the most depressing nighttime ritual in existence.

Because for some reason, she’d agreed with the person who wrote it. That it mattered. That chasing the same dream meant something, even if they never got there.

The air Ymir dragged into her lungs rattled.

“We’re alike,” she said.

Historia nodded. The brief loss of the weight on her shoulder made Ymir want to spin around and hold her and never let go. She didn’t.

“You ever think that you should have fallen in love with someone else?”

The insecurity rang more honest than either of them needed, but it wasn’t like she could take it back. She felt Historia’s sigh even though she couldn’t hear it, and braced for the obvious answer.

“...No.”

She managed not to jerk around in shock. Vulnerability came easier when she didn’t have to look at the person causing it. Not that her body language or tone were doing her any favors, but that last step was one too many. She laughed shakily.

“Not much of an imagination, huh?”

Historia shrugged. “Once you were in my heart... that was it,” she said, quietly. Her hand slipped over Ymir’s. “I didn’t even know I was in love. Or what it was at all. There was just you. You’re obnoxious and reckless and a complete idiot, but... you’re the one I’d do anything to be with.”

The hush held them for a moment before she spoke again.

“That’s never changing. I never want it to.”

Ymir closed her eyes. Historia’s fingers laced through hers, thumb circling the back of her hand in soothing circles. “Even if I never remember how it started?”

“As long as you’re here to see how it finishes.”

Knocking their heads together came gently this time. Historia’s barely moved. Her hand was starting to still. “If you mean all those nevers,” Ymir said, “it won’t.”

Historia hummed wordlessly. “That’s okay too.”

Ymir had nothing to say to that.

She squeezed Historia’s hand.

Historia, halfway back to sleep, squeezed back.

[kncrowder88]

So, I came across this post on my dash and it frustrated me. The OP lists why Draco should have gotten a redemption arc and the reblog is why Snape shouldn’t have gotten one. Which, had it just been things like “held a grudge and bullied students”, I could have ignored it but … like … that is only two out of 7 things and the rest are bullshit.

Let’s touch on redemption arc before I even dig into anything else. A redemption arc is a form of storytelling regarding a character’s story. There are many forms of character arcs, covering all sorts of aspects of life. Arcs are typically about growth and development, be it from a platonic relationship to a romance or your average joe to the hero of the story. Redemption arcs are about when bad switches sides and becomes good.

There are thousands of examples of this throughout literature, television, novels, and other forms of entertainment. We have a lot of well known redemption arc stories out there. From Darth Vader to Prince Zuko to Loki. But the thing that tends to be consistent in ALL of these, is we see this characters either start bad and go good or start okay/good, go bad, and return to good. We rarely, if ever, see them already on that path of redemption. Which, I think, is where Harry Potter becomes a rather unique story in an of itself.

The post that got me on this touches on things they see as why Draco should be redeemed and, as the reblogger claims, why Snape should not. Yet, out of the list of things … only one or two is rather accurate.

Draco was lowering his wand, but he wasn’t about to join the Order. Yes, he was kind to Luna and he didn’t reveal Harry, BUT they were also still prisoners in his home and he didn’t help them escape. If he hadn’t been gutted by the death of a friend, then that be a different case entirely – like … anyone can be gutted by the death of someone (Voldemort was furious when Bellatrix died after all). Being a child has nothing to do with your ability to be redeemed.

Snape didn’t kill Dumbledore, he committed an act of mercy on the orders of the very man by ending the man’s life to prevent him from suffering worse at the hands of other Death Eaters or even the slow torture of dying by his cursed hand (and that potion he drank, though Snape knew nothing about that). Snape was no longer a Death Eater by the time the story happened, and if you want to use that argument … so was Draco (he was literally a Death Eater in the sixth book when on a mission to kill Dumbledore). He felt immense remorse for actions he took, not just at his death, this is part of what shapes who he is as an individual – his extreme guilt and self-hatred. He only stepped over James – didn’t crawl sorry – body in the movies and honestly that entire scene is BS because how would he have known where the Potters lived, let alone be able to leave Hogwarts and go there while Hagrid and Sirius were both supposedly on the way and/or present? Holding a grudge is not a crime and everyone has them, typically the ones held for extended periods have valid reasons (not even going to get into why this one is a load of BS). And, once again, age has no impact on if you can be redeemed.

The only things that impact redemption are your actions, thoughts, and choices. You do not have to live a completely perfect example of humanity, or even be constantly perfect or impeccable or good for it to matter. Because NO ONE can do that. Even Harry had his moments of anger and lashing out, yet we do not take away the good he did do despite his darker moments.

The beautiful thing about the story of Harry Potter is the theme of redemption that underlines it.

We get a character that is presented to us from the eyes of the main character, constantly, as evil/bad yet the entire time they never were. They were perfect, far from it, but they were saving Harry’s life. They were fighting for good. Spying for good. Constantly risking their life and facing things that many wouldn’t be able to, or even desire to, throughout the books. Things we never get to see, and throughout it all they were struggling to remain on that path, on that choice they made during the first war … to do ANYTHING for Albus Dumbledore, in payment for a simple request (that the man would have done anyways).

We get the character that, in fear, turned upon his friends and those he cares for only to, in the end, takes his own life rather than hurting the child of the friend he betrayed.

We get the boy, who jumps into a lake to help get his brother out of it. Who eventually turns on his own family in support of a corrupt government, only to, in the end, realize the error of his ways and return to fight. Losing a brother in the process.

We get the young man who, when an inferior of his is hurt, opts to turn against those he aligned with in defense of his inferior. While he may not have changed all his views, or even got the chance to question it, he chose to die for something many he aligned with deemed beneath them as well.

We get the wizen man who opts, despite his own past and crimes, to lie for the sake of a friend who locked him up in the first place.

We get the Minister who wants to use a boy as a poster image for the war, only to in the end die not just for his Ministry but in refusal to betray the very child he kept trying to use for his own purpose.

We get the family that spends the entirety of the series supporting Voldemort and his ways, only to, in the end, place family first and go against what they sided with.

The series of Harry Potter gives us so many versions of redemption, from a child realizing the errors of his ways as reality starts to hit him once war starts to a man regretting his childhood choices and fighting for someone he always believed in to a brother realizing he failed to place family above self and turning back. The list of redemption can go on, and the beauty of it within this series is … we see it at all points and in all styles. Even going so far as to show us two individuals who turned from their dark paths as a result of the death of someone they loved and what the path of redemption does to them, one decades further along on that path than the other.

Basically, can we please stop comparing Snape and Draco and who should have got redemption, because both earned their own redemptions in their own way. And while we may not have gotten eithers full story … the redemption is there. Both are still very flawed individuals, but they made choices that put them on the path of redemption and that is what matters.

[unfortunatelysirius]

Hello! I saw ur HP prompt list and couldn't resist making a request. If you would be so kind as do number 2 and 9 that would be wicked. SlytherinReaderXGeorgeWeasley Slight background, their mothers were friends in Hogwarts, so their thick as thieves basically. Dunno if that helps at all 😅 Mischief managed!

Additional Notes: Mischief managed indeed! I first just want to say your username is awesome. I also want to say that I really like this request as George Weasley will forever be in my heart! I hope you enjoy this and that it was what you were looking for! If you want a longer/extended version, just request it and I’ll have it to you in a jiffy! Have a nice day, lovely, and thanks for such a brilliant request :)Word Count: 538

2. “I don’t recall a time where you weren’t trying to steal my things.”9. “Love, stop trying to make this about yourself.”Ever since the day you could walk, you and the Weasley twins were attached to the hip. Your mothers were friends in Hogwarts, so over the years, you’d weaseled your way into the hearts of the Weasley family, never getting a chance to be left alone as you always had an owl coming from one of the Weasleys, practically begging you and your mother to come over. Even when you were sorted into Slytherin, the Weasley family continued to adore you. Merlin forbid if they’d shamed you for being part of a house of snakes—you were rather disliked by your fellow Slytherins, so you were grateful to Fred and George for now disowning you after the sorting.

Five years later, the three of you were notorious as miniature Marauders, constantly pulling pranks and making strange candies to use as means of money-making. After a while, you started to realize you had feelings for the least-talkative of the two… what a shocking discovery that was.

Just a mere fortnight before O.W.L.S were to occur, you and the Weasleys were in the middle of Potions. As Fred and George were partners, that left you to be with another Slytherin—one that just-so-happened to be the bane of your existence.

“Go get the ingredients,” your partner ordered, sticking her nose up at you snottily. You glared at her hatefully, but abided nonetheless.

Once you came back from getting a cauldron and the things Snape had ordered the class to use, you nearly had whiplash from repeatedly turning back and forth at what you seen. Was that George rummaging through your bag?

“George, what the bloody hell are you doing?” you snapped, quickly dropping your things into a pile without giving your partner a second glance.

“Oh—nothing, love,” he said, quickly trying to make himself seem innocent. “Just… waiting for you to get back.”

You glared at him. “You know,” you said carefully, “I don’t recall a time where you weren’t trying to steal my things. There was the time with my knickers—“

“That was one time!” If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that the bloke was blushing. “How was I supposed to know you mixed our clothing?”

You rolled your eyes, cutting a scathing glare towards your partner when you heard a few choice words coming from her conniving mouth. “Love, stop trying to make this about yourself,” you said. “Now what in the name of Merlin were you trying to take from my bag?”

George looked around sheepishly, and you were quick to notice how his gaze keep coming back to Fred. The boy was failing to act nonchalant—he was also failing in keeping his eyes off the two of you. “Well, you see,” George said, at least having the decency to look embarrassed. “Fred and I… we have a bet going on.”

“What kind of bet?” you asked, raising your eyebrows.

He couldn’t look you in the eye, the bastard. “He thinks you bring an extra pair of knickers to class with you… I think you don’t.”

"George!"

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/karmic-tools-weekly-forecast-eclipse-update-july-14-20-2019/

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast + Eclipse Update: July 14 – 20, 2019

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast + Eclipse Update: July 14 – 20, 2019

By Kelly M. Beard

The video version of this forecast, as read by Kelly, is available here.

The Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast covers the current planetary transits which affect people in different ways and to various degrees of intensity. Take notice when it is a Personal planet (Sun / Moon / Mercury / Venus / Mars) interacting with a Social (Jupiter/Saturn) or Collective planet (Uranus / Neptune/Pluto). And pay extremely close attention when it is a Social planet interacting with a Collective planet because that means something *big* is brewing that will move large groups of people along their evolutionary paths. Tuning in to the energy and rhythm of the planets can serve as a useful *guide* as you move along your Individual Path. It also helps to understand your place within the context of the larger Social & Collective Story. Below, you will find out how these energies tend to manifest, as well as guidance and direction. 

*NOTE*  There are some days when there are NO CONTACTS (besides the Moon), please note that there are no missing entries, we just list the actual Activations of each week + the day they happen.

7/14 ~ Sun (source & essential Self) ~oppose~ Pluto (purification & transformation):

This energy can (and often does) create very intense encounters with others, possibly revealing things about you which you may not have been aware of, misunderstood or have chosen to ignore thus far. This energy tends to provoke power struggles and/or challenges with authority figures where you may have to stand up for yourself. It can also may make you more aggressive, intense or over-bearing than usual, creating or attracting these kinds of situations. If there are any problems within a relationship (personal or professional), this energy will force things out into the open. It will be much easier on you, if you can open a dialogue with the express purpose of clearing the air and proceeding to a new level in your relationship, by choice. Any aspect of your life that you have been “just getting by” will now DEMAND attention; you won’t be able to do anything less than a complete overhaul or replacement (this can be ANY area of your life but the Capricorn House in particular during years 2008-2024 due to Pluto’s extended stay). Let’s put it this way, any time Pluto is involved, there is usually complete destruction of the current (x-y-z) to make room for the new and improved. This will be by the Universe’s definition, but you do get a vote, you can consciously choose too. Ultimately, this is a good, growth & development type of energy/activation, pushing you to the next level … ready or not, here you come so use the energies available to strengthen, fortify & prepare for your own personal transformation. Also consider your drives & direction about 6-months ago, and where you want to end up 6-months from now. This is an integration, that means a time when the depths of your Soul Self can commune & bond with your surface, personality or conscious Self. Like the conjunction (1.11.2019) about 6-months ago, this is about how you direct your personal power on your own behalf, and often, breakdowns precede breakthroughs.

7/16 ~ CAPRICORN Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse:

This is your Annual opportunity to release that which you no longer want to be part of your reality or your responsibility. Look to what you *Initiated* at Winter Solstice and how far you’ve progressed since then. What’s working? What’s not? What needs to be released? What needs to be strengthened structurally or otherwise? What foundation-work needs to be done to support you better going forward? The Full Moon is shining a light in a corner for first time in 6-months to a year (the Capricorn House of your chart) revealing any weaknesses or cracks in the foundation of your current focus. Whatever you *Seeded* with the Capricorn New Moon/Solar Eclipse (1.5.2019) 6-months ago, has run its course and now the Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse shows you what is solid and can be expanded on – as well as what is weak and must be fixed, replaced or released altogether. This is the time every year when you determine what is truly feeding, nourishing, supporting & protecting you ~ on ALL levels ~ mental, physical, emotional & spiritual. Here, we are reminded that often, internal shifts precede external shifts.

Obviously, this is a general overview for the Capricorn Full Moon, however, this year is special because of the combination of rare planetary alignments, along with the pattern-changing Eclipses. There are plenty of write-ups on this Summer’s Sky Pattern. I even posted two articles on my blog that I highly recommend if you are feeling these energies in a particularly intense way. I’d like to check in with how you are doing personally. How are you navigating these changes? Have you had to up-level your self-care? Have you noticed relationships ending (permanently) because they have served their purpose (and it’s all good)? Have you noticed that your personal needs have evolved so your vibration has naturally shifted? Have you noticed that you are attracting new & different kinds of people & situations?

I would like to remind you to take some time during July/Aug this year to assess & integrate your own personal growth, development & direction. Mercury Retro in Leo suggests we need to tune back into the Heart and to think with our feelings. Use this time to release ideas, people or situations which drain your lifeforce energy and/or dim your light. It’s going even deeper into Cancer by the end of this week (7/19), reminding you that you may have gotten off your natural rhythm and must re-set yourself this summer so that you can handle the upcoming Harvest. Use the eclipses for what they are good for: CHANGE. What are you ready, willing & able to change about how your live both your private & public lives? How can you renew your dedication to a routine that nourishes, inspires & energizes you? How can you put your ideas & skills to good use in the world? Where are your gifts & talents needed, valued & honored? What nourishes your body, awakens your mind and feeds your soul? Check in with yourself this summer – your SoulSelf – much of these very fundamental, basic things in our lives have changed and so have we! This is new territory we are entering. Stay alert, creative & optimistic!

7/17 ~ Venus (relationships & resources) ~oppose~ Saturn (physical limits & reality):

Where Sun opposite Saturn has the focus squarely on you, the individual, Venus opposite Saturn often illuminates the relationships that you’ve magnetized (or repelled) in your life. It is here that I also like to remind folks how valuable MidPoints can be as they give you a direct look back at your starting point, which offers unbelievable clarity about what you may be dealing with in the present moment. There is a push-pull between your true values and the current reality of your relationships and/or your resources. You may find yourself questioning what (and who) is or is no longer of value or important to you. Or you may find yourself facing some hard and unavoidable personal truths. Do not feel sorry for yourself and do not take it out on others. It is time to take responsibility for making new choices. Looking back will only trip you up. Challenges may center around commitments you’ve made out of obligation and/or a sense of duty, rather than because you actually wanted to contribute. You can use this energy & activation to align your reality with the values of your heart. Don’t allow the anxiety associated with change to keep you from making some very important decisions at this time. If you give in to your fears, you could get caught up in martyrdom or victim consciousness. Deciding what you want, committing to the work it will take to manifest your vision and getting to work – that’s what Saturn will reward with tangible & long-lasting results. You will never regret investing in your Self this way.

7/18 ~ Venus (values & priorities) ~trine~ Neptune (faith & spirituality):

This is a very supportive energy for dreaming your world into being! Allow your imagination some latitude to wander and see where it leads. Play with “what if” scenarios. For example, “what if” all your material needs & desires were taken care of, what would you dedicate your time, energy & resources to? You may feel very empathic and connected to others and what they are going through at this time, so maintain adequate boundaries. Neptune can activate a very spiritual encounter with another human being (friend, family or lover) but only time will tell if it is Neptune playing tricks on you or if it is truly a spiritual connection.

******

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