#This is an interesting part of this interview

[cryo-a]

An interview! Been meaning to do one!

1. Sayu from nsr! (Nikki simmons)

2. Soda and jam! Jam is my sister and soda, uhhhhh... Lets just say i found them interesting...

3. Internet yamero hands down. Maybye idol by yoasobi aswell!

4. Uh exuse me- oh right! Clotho and the stargazer!

5. Nah, i stick em in the blorbo box! (Tbh i do ship cryo x soda but more on that later.)

6-7. Hmmmm, im a dimesion traveler but entertainer would work perfectly!

8. Play games or doom scroll. Nothing like sailing upon the sea of comments

9. Ig??? (I shower everyday...?)

10. ... Tbh- [Redacted] huh... Yeah! Of course i do! Im doing good

(there will be a part 2 cuz its 1 am)

Fuck it, OC brain rot won. Get ready for the Secret Ask List

1) Does your OC have a voice claim, if so who?

2) Who's your OCs best friend? How did they become best friends?

3) What song describes your OC?

4) What song describes your OC and their partner/love interest?

5) Do you ship your OC with a Canon character? If so who?

6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?

7) Vice-Versa! If your OC is in the modern day, what fantasy class would they be? Would they be a different race?

8) What hobbies does your OC have? What do they do to unwind?

9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?

10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

12) Does your OC interact with other people's OC? If so, who's their best OC friend?

13) Does your OC have a rival? How did it start?

14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them!

15) Will your OC ever retire? Do you see them making it?

16) How's their relationship with their parents? Are they alive?

17) If your OC has kids, are they a good parent? Do they ever feel guilty if they have to leave them?

18) What are their pronouns? What would they like to be called?

19) What's their sexuality? What's their love language both giving and receiving?

20) If they fight, what's their weapon of choice?

21) What song best describes their relationship with their enemy?

22) Fight or Flight? Are they a lover or a fighter?

23) Is your OC reliable? Can I call them up at two in the morning if I have a flat tire?

24) Can they play any instruments? If so, what do they play?

25) Are they the kind of person who can't resist a good song? Can I catch your OC singing to themselves while they do the dishes?

26) What flower do you associate your OC with?

27) What's their spirit tamagotchi? Or an animal you associate them with?

28) What clique would they be in? (Draw them in the clothes of said group!)

29) Imagine a mood board for your OC! What's on it? (Make it if you want!)

30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)

[accio-victuuri]

January 2025 CPNs round-up 🚥

The first month of the year went by just like that?! but we are so lucky cause in 1 month we got 2 LRLG submissions and 2 events that they both attended. What a great way to start 2025!

• starting off the year strong with CCTV series new year greetings from our dear actors

• guo jing x xie yun new cp

• i am not here nye performance candies

• coco crush ring importance for bobo’s performance during nye 💍

• 010225 lrlg submission translation and the cpns involved

• amiri logo x wo men writing

• paparazzi that the last time he saw xz chatting so much was in 2018 with wyb

• the 2018 dinner with cql crew video released 🥹🙏🏼 - there is some side cpn to this cause it was released not even 30 minutes after ybo refuted a rather absurd dating rumor. Liu dachui is the pap that released it and he is a v popular blogger. DH also guested on his channel before so you can say they have some friendly connection. i know bloggers like LDC are a pain in the ass for companies but you gotta keep your enemies close am i right? so some cpfs are thinking that the timing of release was to take some attention away from the hs. which didn’t actually cause the HS was up for a long time. take this with a grain of salt. 🍉

• wyb’s main accessory for his NYE performance was a hat brooch. this reminds us of the whole hat cpn😂

• same light leak editing design for these two videos between ybo and xzs. it’s not a secret that we think they sometimes share staff when it comes to editing. and it’s a rainbow? 🌈

of course other artists has access to this video editor design or whatever. anyone could make it logically. but why are the similarities always between them?

• coincidental matching years later

• speculations from xz’s portrait magazine interview

• weibo night candies part one / part two

there is also this that i wasn’t able to add, how they have the same staff assisting them. idk if this person also assisted other artists but it’s interesting how she was assigned to both xz and wyb.

there’s also some unsavory twisting the narrative thing that solos are doing regarding the seats. bec they are so obssessed with us and our candies lol.

• cpns from xz’s portrait magazine feature

• ybo has a movie ticket theme

• why do they twist their feet like that 🙃🙃🙃

• minor cpns from china internet and audiovisual festival

• 1/28/25 lrlg 🎉🧧🧧🧧 - this one is mostly incoherent because of the very random convos with no context. which is the norm for lrlg. but there are sweet moments too! they care for each other so much 🥹🥹🥹🥹

• 1/29, jam hsiao reposted his collab stage with yibo and bobo commented with this:

mr xiao! hahahahahaha! what a coincidence. of course we are just clowning!

-END.

See you all next month! 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼

[raayllum]

Immortality & Longevity in TDP

Because season 7 brought up some very interesting Threads to contrast with the series' previous sentiments on immortality / ridiculously long lifespans. So let's go.

Those Who Naturally Live Forever(-ish)

There are three main camps of characters who experience longevity in TDP.

Those who experience it naturally, but can still die (the Archdragons, some elves)

Those who acquire it through dark magic means

Those who cannot permanently die (the First Elves, Aaravos)

I want to talk about the Group Number One first, because it includes the most characters and was the basis for this meta. Besides Lujanne and Akiyu, we don't know too many elves who have lived for hundreds of plus years, although it wouldn't surprise me if Aditi did. Lujanne and Akiyu are both mages as well, with Lujanne living at the most powerful concentration of Moon magic in the world, so that could be part of the reason why she's lived so long, and Tidebound elves (as Finnegrin had Sea Legs' sister for 40+ years) just naturally live much longer than other types of elves (Moonshadow, Sunfire) as far as we know.

The Archdragons themselves also don't talk much about the length of their lives, since it's a species-shared trait and so second nature to them. However, whenever they do talk about it, we get a very clear picture:

It's not exactly... positive. Now, some of this is because of their mental states. Sol Regem lost his beloved mate a thousand years ago, lost his position as the king of the dragons, and been effectively cut off from Xadia's political sphere / the other archdragons for a long time. Rex Igneous is similarly isolated (though it seems more self-inflicted) and we know he had a previous falling out with Avizandum (presumably over Zubeia). We also see Zubeia grow increasingly listless both times she falls ill / almost loses her family (S3, 5x09) so it seems that despite being very rare and accordingly isolationist, Archdragons don't tend to do well alone and without families (understandably).

But the verdict seemingly from at least 2/4ish known archdragons is that

In this way, the Archdragons' view of their quasi-immortality isn't that different from how Aaravos views his literal one:

The stars have never smiled upon their creations. This world was made by cruel, unfeeling hands. It is an instrument of pain, of torment. To exist within this world is to suffer. Even death is no reprieve.

So what about the characters who disagree to the point of doing terrible things so that they can exist forever?

Kpp'ar and Kim'Dael (Crafted Immortality)

Although there's only two characters in the "dark magic induced immortality" category, they paint two such completely different pictures that, in many ways, it shows the full spectrum of just how one can achieve an unnatural immortality.

On the one hand, we have Kim'Dael, who takes dark magic's canonically to its long believed natural conclusion of cannibalism. Kim'Dael takes parts (blood) from magical creatures (in this case, elves) and consumes it to enhance her own abilities and her livelihood. This doesn't always mean fully killing and draining someone, but often can (Bloodmoon Huntress) with multiple individuals / sometimes whole families at a time as she must experience semi-regular rejuvenation; it is unknown if she needs to eat or consume anything else in her day-to-day life.

Her magic use was also confirmed to be a form of dark magic in this interview:

the way that she does, is beyond primal magic. She’s found ways through dark magic to extend her primal moon powers. It’s very evil how she is able to do what she does and extend her life

Despite the dragons who don't have to work to be immortal being far more despondent about their long, long lives, it's not hard to think of reasons why Kim'Dael would want to be immortal. Death is a scary unknown, she (like Finnegrin) is out of tune with her primal knowingness on a fundamental level, and she can do so without harm to herself. Like most dark mages we've seen, her dark magic use requires using and taking from the people around her more, accordingly, than it's taking from her. She takes from others to give herself power: dark magic 101.

Kpp'Ar's search for immortality is way fucking weirder, IMO. It's not necessarily that dark mages, or dark magic, never uses the caster's body for spells. It inherently saps energy (hence the white streaks, nosebleeds, collapsing, etc) and drains life from the body; each spell harms the caster in at least a small way. It's also not like we've never seen a dark mage use their own body parts for a spell; Claudia uses and drinks her own blood mixed into the pentapus ink in 5x09, and Viren mutilates his own heart in 6x08 rather than use someone else's.

It's just, that if Kim'Dael has a way to chase immortality that does mean using somebody else's body... why on earth would you use your own?

It seems that before his change of heart, Kpp'Ar was experimenting with one of the darkest of all magics. A way of extending life. Indefinitely. A horrible and strange kind of immortality. The ancient and disturbing practice of self-eating.

Now, some of this may come down to access or skillset. Presumably Kim'Dael could drink human blood and use it for her spells, since the arcanum of the elf she's drinking from doesn't seem to matter. However, even if you can use human blood, Kpp'Ar at this point was older and used a cane (if we assume this was a later in life pursuit, and not over decades); he likely wasn't going to be able to kidnap and haul back anyone but children back to Puzzle House, and while we know he's willing to sacrifice children (6x06) it's not canonically clear if he's willing to use them.

Either way, we know Kpp'Ar was pursuing immortality as well as the location of the Garden of Innocents concurrently. We don't know if this was interrelated, but we do know that unicorns are connected to the Star arcanum, which is presumably what makes First Elves immortal-ish so... maybe? It's not clear why Kpp'Ar would want immortality in general, especially that type of immortality, for himself, but clearly there will be a reason. It could be that he wanted to transfer it to someone else (Soren) and gave up, but that's not fundamentally different than what Kim'Dael does, so... again: why himself?

(Arc 3 come home to me)

Cannot Die

Last but not least, we have Aaravos + the other First Elves in the 'cannot die' category, except when they can (Leola). I've written more before about how... odd the info surrounding what the Cosmic Council can and cannot do and what we may be missing, for lack of a better term. Quick rundown:

The Cosmic Council can execute Startouch elves. Aaravos did not have enough power to stop them. (*At the time of Leola's death, as things may have changed since then)

Aaravos seems to be utterly unconcerned that the Cosmic Council conceivably could, if they became aware of his actions, execute him in the same manner. Aaravos does not seem to care if they notice, given that he asks, "Are you watching?" in 7x08.

When Aaravos' mortal form (like the one Leola had/used on earth) is destroyed in 7x09, there are noticeable visual differences to the destruction of his daughter's.

Aaravos seems to want to bring the First Elves into "this world" as it is an instrument of pain that begets only suffering, and "I want them to suffer."

We also know that Aaravos believes the First Elves don't care about / love their creations at all, so destroying the earth can't be the endgame goal. We also know that something is keeping Aaravos from accessing/attacking them, otherwise he would've done so before being imprisoned.

Presumably, something in the interim has changed with either 1) Aaravos is no longer able to die or 2) He has found a way to be able to kill the other First Elves if they went after him, rather than the other way around. Potentially dark magic is the road to get there, or a form of ancient magic the First Elves tried to keep hidden that became the basis for dark magic.

Either way, we know that the First Elves are able to end an otherwise truly immortal being's existence permanently (at least so far) and that it's a power at one point Aaravos did/does not have. I'll be curious to see what we learn about all of this and self-eating in the future.

[iamquiantrelle]

GOLDEN BOY (chapter 3)────── iamquaintrelle

⌗ pairing : trent alexander arnold x black oc

⌗ summary : trent is having a quarter life crisis but will a smart-mouthed girl whip him into shape?

⌗ warnings : 18+ only!! (☁️☔️💕)

⌗taglist: @trentswrld, @trentpov @judesvirtual @sailurmewn @football-and-fanfics @eriks-girl @preetykookie @4ngryssgf @endlessmuse @noturbabe22, @sucredreamer @bbgkoo @hollablkgrl @notzara @chrisoppar

Losing to Spurs was one thing. Getting subbed on at half-time just to watch Son curl one into the top corner? That was another level of violation. The gaffer's words still rang in his ears - "need more energy," "push the line higher," all that chat.

Trent slouched in his seat on the team bus, hood pulled up, trying to ignore the quiet murmur of conversations around him. Virgil was giving some interview over the phone about "maintaining perspective" and "focusing on the next match." Easy to say when you'd played the full ninety, wasn't it?

His phone buzzed - probably his mum again, ready with another "head up love" message. Or Tyler wanting to dissect his minutes like they did after every match these days. Or maybe-

April: Nice cameo. At least your legs looked good in those shorts.

His stomach did that weird flip thing again. They hadn't properly talked since that night at Baltic Market, just the occasional message taking the piss out of each other. But every notification from her had him feeling like a kid checking if his crush had texted back.

Trent: Watching me play now are you?

April: Had to see what I'm working with for the shoot next week. April: Though after that performance… might need to rethink the concept. April: Maybe we focus on your face instead 😘

Cheeky. Even after a loss, she was out here trying to wind him up. And the worst part? It was working.

Trent: Getting brave behind that phone aren't you?

April: Always brave baby. You're the one who bottled it at Baltic.

His cheeks heated at the memory. The way she'd mugged him off, leaving him standing there like a sap after he'd suggested going home together. Those curls bouncing as she walked away, that jumpsuit doing criminal things to his imagination. He'd barely slept that night, replaying every moment in his head like some lovesick teenager.

Trent: Didn't bottle anything. You're the one who ran away.

April: That what you think? April: Interesting theory. April: Still thinking about those curls though?

Fuck. Am I that obvious?

The bus hit a pothole, jolting him out of his April-induced trance. Robbo was giving him a weird look from across the aisle, probably wondering why he was grinning at his phone after a loss like that.

"You alright mate? Looking flushed."

"Just tired," Trent muttered, turning back to his phone. But his mind was racing. Had she been playing him this whole time? Testing him maybe? That night at Baltic, the way she'd challenged him about everything - his accent, his image, his career. Like she was trying to see what he was made of.

April: Maker's Studio. Tuesday. 2pm. April: Don't be late.

His brain immediately went places it shouldn't. Especially not on a team bus after a loss, with Robbo's suspicious eyes still on him.

Trent: Still trying to get me naked?

April: Please. April: When I want you naked, you'll know. April: Besides, thought you were scared of my camera?

Christ. The way she could switch from professional to pure trouble in the space of one message. Had him twisted up inside.

The rest of the journey passed in a blur of April's messages and his increasingly frustrated attempts to keep his mind out of the gutter. By the time they pulled into Melwood, he was wound up, thinking about Tuesday and whatever she had planned.

"Trent!" Robbo's voice cut through his thoughts. "You coming or what? Some of us have families to get home to."

"Yeah yeah, give me a minute."

Around him, the lads were gathering their bags, some already heading for their cars. Virgil had finished his interview and was now deep in conversation with Joe about some tactical thing Trent should probably be paying attention to, but his eyes were glued to his screen as three dots appeared.

April: Sweet dreams pretty boy. Try not to think about me too much. April: Though those marks have probably faded by now… April: Shame. Might need to refresh them soon.

His collar suddenly felt too tight. Those hickeys had finally disappeared, but he swore he could still feel where they'd been, like she'd marked him.

"Trent!" Robbo again, now standing over him. "What's got you so distracted? Better not be that OnlyFans girl Ty was warning us about–"

"Shut up," Trent laughed, finally standing up. But his mind was racing. Tuesday couldn't come fast enough.

Back in his car, he sat for a moment, thumb hovering over the keyboard. Fuck it.

Trent: Only if you promise to aim lower this time.

April: Is that a challenge, Alexander-Arnold? April: Because you should know by now… April: I never back down from those.

Too late for that whole 'not thinking about her' thing, wasn't it?

The drive home was a blur of streetlights and his mind wandering to dangerous places. Whatever she had planned, whatever game she was playing… he was all in.

His phone buzzed one last time as he pulled into his driveway.

April: PS - Wear pants that fit you well. April: Since that's all I'm letting you keep on.

Fucking hell.

Even the loss to Spurs didn't sting as much anymore. How could it, when all he could think about was Tuesday and whatever chaos April had in store for him?

He was starting to live for that chaos. Starting to crave it, even. The way she kept him on his toes, never knowing if she was going to build him up or tear him down.

Maybe Tyler had been right. Maybe he did need someone who didn't treat him like TAA, Liverpool's golden boy. Someone who saw past all that and still wanted to take the piss.

Or maybe he was just twisted. Either way, Tuesday couldn't come soon enough.

Nothing like a 4-0 against Accrington Stanley to get your head right. Trent's goal was still playing on repeat in his mind - caught it sweet from outside the box, right into the top bins. Even had the Kop singing his name again.

The rental space April had found was fancy, all modern art on exposed brick walls and windows bigger than his first flat. Tyler had been in his ear all week about their "creative direction" or whatever, but Trent wasn't worried about all that. He was more focused on April's texts that had been driving him insane - little digs about oiling him up for the camera, asking if he'd been doing his crunches.

When he walked in, she was bent over her camera setup, wearing ripped jeans that should've been illegal and some massive Rolling Stones jumper that kept slipping off one shoulder. Her hair was trying to escape its bun, curls going everywhere like they had a mind of their own.

"Look who finally showed up," she said without looking up. "Heard you had yourself a game yesterday."

"Scored an absolute worldie, didn't I?"

"Against Accrington Stanley." Now she did look up, that smirk playing at her lips. "My nan could score against them."

There was a clothes rack in the corner - nothing fancy, just basic stuff. No designer labels or statement pieces. Dead simple, like she was trying to strip away all the flash.

"Strip," she said, still fiddling with her camera.

"What?"

"Just your shirt, you idiot. Unless…" She looked up now, those eyes dancing with mischief. "You still bricking it?"

"Not scared of anything, me." He pulled his shirt off, trying to act casual while her eyes did a slow crawl over his chest that had his skin burning.

"Shame about the locs though," she said suddenly, tilting her head. "Why'd you cut them?"

The question caught him off guard. No one ever asked that - they just assumed he was "cleaning up his image" or whatever other bullshit the papers came up with.

"Just fancied a change," he shrugged, but April's eyes narrowed.

"Nah, there's more to it. The way your jaw just tensed? Dead giveaway."

He sighed, running a hand over his shorter hair. "Just got tired of the comments. 'Bit urban for Liverpool's golden boy' and all that shit."

"Ah." Her face softened slightly. "The classic microaggressions. Get that a lot myself in this industry. 'You're so well-spoken' and all that."

"Yeah well… get enough of that without the locs. Too black for some, not black enough for others. Proper mad how everyone's got an opinion on what you should be when you're mixed."

"'Are you black or like… black black?'" April mimicked, rolling her eyes. "Or my personal favorite - 'you must get your creativity from your white side.'"

Trent snorted. "Mad how they think being mixed means you can't be fully anything. Like my mum being white somehow cancels out everything else."

"Society's fucked, isn't it?" April picked up her camera. "But at least you've got good bone structure. Now turn left a bit - need to catch that jawline properly."

Just like that, she was back to business. But something had shifted slightly. Like they'd recognized something in each other, some shared experience that went beyond the flirting and banter.

"These aren't going to be too artistic, are they?" he asked as she adjusted his pose. "Don't fancy seeing my face in some gallery."

"Nah, just clean shots. Show the real you, not what everyone expects Liverpool's golden boy to be."

The way she said it - mocking but understanding at the same time. Like she got it. Got him.

Maybe that's why it was so easy to relax around her, even half-naked in front of her camera. She saw past all the labels, all the expectations. Saw him as just… Trent.

"Hold that pose," April said, then paused. "Isn't your dad's Jamaican?"

"Yeah, family's in Kingston. Why?"

Her grin widened. "Wag wan then, bredrin?"

"Yuh dun know," Trent laughed, genuinely surprised. "Your people yard too?"

"Mum's family's from Portmore. Small world, huh?" She snapped a few more shots. "No wonder you can handle the spice. Though that accent's proper scouse."

The shoot wrapped quicker than he expected, April's efficiency matching her chat. She gestured him over to her laptop, flicking through the raw shots.

"Need some editing obviously, but…"

"Nah these are sick." And they were - nothing pretentious or artsy, just him looking… real. Natural.

"Could be better if you'd gotten naked though."

Trent's head snapped up, but she was already packing away her gear, that mischievous smirk playing at her lips.

"Still on about that?"

"Always." She turned, properly looking at him now. "You trying to get in my pants too, Alexander-Arnold?"

"Maybe."

"Bold. I'm a wild girl though." Her voice dropped lower, all that playful energy suddenly gone. This wasn't April the photographer anymore, or even April taking the piss. This was something else entirely - a warning and an invitation all at once.

"I'm a wild boy."

She actually laughed at that, but it wasn't her usual take-the-piss laugh. This was darker, like she knew something he didn't. "Please. You couldn't handle me."

"Try me."

The words came out more confident than he felt, but fuck it. Something about the way she was looking at him - like a cat that had cornered its prey but was deciding whether to play with it first.

"Okay," she shrugged, but those eyes were pure danger now. "I warned you though. Free this weekend?"

His heart actually skipped. Proper teenage behavior. "Yeah."

"I'll text you then." She shouldered her bag, that predatory smile still playing at her lips. Every movement calculated, like she knew exactly what she was doing to his head. "Try not to think about me too much until then."

Too late for that, wasn't it?

He watched her walk away, remembering how she'd left him hanging at Baltic Market. But this time felt different. This time she wasn't testing him - she was hunting him.

And fuck him if he didn't want to be caught.

The address April sent him was in some dodgy part of London he'd never been to before. Like proper sketch - the kind of place his Range Rover looked well out of place. No restaurants nearby, no posh shops, just warehouses and old buildings with blacked-out windows.

23B Blackwall Lane.

No sign. No queue. Just a massive guy in black standing outside a door that looked like it hadn't been opened since the 80s.

"ID," the guard grunted. Then, after checking it: "Arms up."

"You taking the piss?"

But no, man actually started patting him down like he was going through customs. Christ. What had April gotten him into?

"Miss Goodplenty's guest?" A woman appeared, all long hair and red lipstick. Looked out of place against the grimy walls.

"Yeah."

She handed him a tablet. "Sign these."

"What am I signing?"

"Non-disclosure agreement. And a waiver stating the club isn't responsible for any... injuries."

Any what now?

His eyes scanned the document. Words like "consensual" and "physical activity" and "binding agreement" jumped out at him.

Fucking hell.

But he'd already come this far, hadn't he? And something about the way April had added cheeky emojis when she sent the address... like she knew exactly what she was doing to his head.

He signed.

The door opened to darkness and bass so heavy he could feel it in his chest. As his eyes adjusted, he realized where he was.

Oh.

OH.

Real sus that April hadn't mentioned this was a sex club.

Bodies everywhere - some clothed, some... definitely not. Red lights casting shadows that left just enough to the imagination. Private rooms with heavy curtains. A dance floor that looked more like an orgy waiting to happen.

His phone buzzed.

April: Third floor. Room 7.

April: Don't keep me waiting.

April: And don't look so scared, pretty boy. Nobody bites.

April: Unless you ask nicely 😘

Christ.

Trent's designer shirt and jeans felt about as subtle as a police siren in this place. Everyone else was either half-naked or dressed in leather. Some woman walked past in what looked like actual diamonds and not much else. Just walking around tits and pussy out like this was just another Saturday.

A waitress appeared at his elbow - a pin-up model type in lingerie and a garter belt that left nothing to the imagination. "Drink?"

"Uh..." Real smooth, that.

"First time?" She smiled knowingly, adjusting stockings. "Don't worry love, everyone's nervous their first night."

Another waitress drifted past balancing a tray of champagne, wearing what had to be vintage Agent Provocateur and heels that could probably kill a man. The whole place was like some mad fever dream - all red velvet and gold accents and women who looked like they'd stepped out of a 1950s Playboy.

His phone buzzed again.

April: You look proper lost down there 😂

April: Still waiting...

April: Unless you're too scared?

Cheeky girl was watching him. He looked up, trying to spot her, but the upper floors were all shadows and private booths.

A couple stumbled past him, giggling, clothes disheveled. What was April playing at, bringing him here?

His phone lit up one more time.

April: Tick tock, Alexander-Arnold.

April: Or should I find someone else to play with?

That got his feet moving. Third floor. Room 7.

What kind of posh sex club didn't have lifts? The staircase was all Victorian gothic, wrought iron railings and dim lighting that cast weird shadows on the walls. Some couple was going at it against the wall between the first and second floor, and Trent had to squeeze past them like it was normal. Could hear all sorts through the doors he passed - moans and music and what sounded like... was that a whip?

His legs were burning by the second floor. Each step revealed more sounds he'd rather not think about. Weird how normal everyone seemed about it all - like they were at some dinner party instead of... whatever this was.

Room 7 had a fancy door, all dark wood and gold numbers. His knuckles had barely touched it when it swung open.

"Wow- I- April..." His brain short-circuited completely.

The leather outfit she wore gave him a clear view of the tops of her breasts and had various cutouts throughout that showed glimpses of her skin. Her curls were wilder than usual, framing her face like some kind of dark halo.

"It's Madam here," she said curtly, stepping aside to let him in.

Madam?

The room was nothing like he'd expected. Luxe with some BDSM type stuff hanging on the wall, a chaise in a corner, and massive windows overlooking the club below. A small dining table was set up in one corner, complete with fancy china and champagne on ice.

"Sit," she gestured to the chair near the window. "How are you feeling?"

"Bit shocked if I'm honest." He could see the dance floor below, bodies moving in the dim light.

That laugh again - the same one from their first meeting, breaking through her stern façade. "Told you I was a wild girl, didn't I?" She moved closer, her voice dropping low enough to make his skin tingle. "Still think you're a wild boy?"

For once in his life, Trent Alexander-Arnold was speechless.

"You're just green," she smiled, something softer in her eyes now. "When we get started on some things, you'll be fine." His eyes must've gone wide because she laughed again. "Not tonight obviously." She settled into the chair opposite him. "Tonight we talk, have dinner. Very vanilla. I'll tell you all the dirty things I like, you tell me yours. And then if you want to keep it going, we can."

"And if I don't?" His voice came out steadier than he felt.

"Then you leave," she shrugged. "We never have to bring it up again. Just continue on with our work relationship."

Simple as that. Except nothing about April had ever been simple, had it?

"So how'd you get into all this?" Trent asked, watching as April poured them both some champagne.

"Photography or the other stuff?" Her eyes glinted mischievously.

"You know which one."

"Same way anyone finds their thing, I suppose." She settled in her chair. "Tried it, loved it, kept going. Speaking of..." She tilted her head, studying him. "Those marks I left on you. How'd that make you feel?"

The champagne suddenly felt thick in his throat. "I... liked them."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Proper liked them actually."

"Mmm." She took a slow sip of champagne. "Tell me how you usually are then. In bed."

"I take charge mostly," he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. "Do the leading and that."

"So you do the bending?" She smirked over her glass.

"Yeah."

"But does that satisfy you? Like for real?" Her foot found his leg under the table, sliding up slowly. "Does it feel amazing you taking all of the control or..." she paused, watching his reaction, "do you need someone to be in charge sometimes?"

He laughed nervously, hand tightening around his glass. "Never thought about it before. I mean I do like little choke while I stroke but nothing like..." he gestured around the room.

"Okay so this can be your last visit here."

"You'll do that?" The words came out before he could stop them.

"Yeah," she said softly, something genuine breaking through her dominant persona. "It's about your pleasure too, Trent."

Mother of Christ.

"I should probably tell you what I'm into," April continued, leaning forward slightly. "I'm a dom - that means I like control. All of it."

"Like what you did with the..." Trent gestured to his neck.

"Marking you up? That's just the start. I like restraints, commands, proper domination." She studied his face. "You said you like choking?"

"Yeah," he admitted, feeling his face heat. "Gets me proper going."

"What else?"

"I dunno... never really explored much. Been curious though."

"About?"

"Just... different things. Being told what to do maybe." He couldn't believe he was saying this out loud.

"Good," she smiled. "Because I'm not a switch."

"A what?"

"Someone who goes back and forth between dom and sub. When we're in the bedroom, I'm in charge. Simple as that."

His mouth felt dry. "And if I wanted to try..."

"We start slow. Build trust. But first," she leaned back, "you need to get checked."

"What?"

"Full panel. I don't do condoms."

His eyes went wide. "Raw? That's..." Risky. Mental. Completely hot. "Actually one of my fantasies."

"Of course it is," she laughed. "You're such a boy. But yes - once we're both cleared, no barriers between us."

His brain was already going places it shouldn't.

"You're thinking about it now, aren't you?" That predatory smile was back.

"Maybe."

"Good. Keep thinking about it. But remember..." she stood up, moving behind his chair. Her lips brushed his ear as she whispered, "I'm going to ruin you for anyone else."

A knock at the door made Trent jump slightly. April just smirked, crossing the room with that confident stride that had his eyes following her every move.

The same pin-up waitress from downstairs wheeled in a proper feast - some posh looking steak for him, seafood linguine for April.

"You ordered for me?"

"I do that sometimes." She settled back in her chair. "Part of the whole control thing. Problem?"

He cut into the steak - perfectly medium rare, exactly how he liked it. "Nah, this is actually mad good."

"Course it is. Already figured out what you like, haven't I?"

Something about the way she said it made his stomach flip. She had been watching him, hadn't she? Learning his habits, his preferences. Even that first night at the party, she'd known exactly how to push his buttons.

"So what else you got figured out about me then?"

"Plenty." She twirled pasta around her fork. "Like how you pretend to be this proper confident footballer, but really..." her foot found his leg again, "you're curious about giving up that control."

His breath caught. Mad how she could read him like that.

"Tell me more about what you're into," he said, trying to regain some composure. "Like, what should I expect?"

"Already thinking ahead?" That devilish smile was back. "Well, I told you - I'm a dom. I like control, discipline, watching someone submit to me completely."

The way she said it - like she was discussing the weather - had his head spinning.

"But it's not just about the physical stuff," she continued. "It's about trust. Power exchange. Like how you trusted me to order your food. Small things building up to bigger ones."

"What kind of bigger ones?"

"Patience," she smirked. "We'll get there. But first..." She leaned forward, those eyes locked on his. "Tell me more about these fantasies of yours. The raw thing got you excited."

"Just... yeah." He felt his face heat up. "Something about it being bare. More intimate like."

"Mmm. And the choking? You said you've done that before?"

"Bit of it, yeah. Nothing major though."

"And how'd that make you feel?"

"Good, I guess?" He paused, thinking. "But sometimes... sometimes I wonder what it'd be like–"

"Having someone control you?" Her voice dropped lower. "Tell you what to do? When you can move, when you can speak... when you can cum?"

Fucking hell.

"We'd start slow," she added, watching his reaction. "Build up to things. I'm not about to throw you in the deep end."

"What would we start with then?"

"Simple commands. Teaching you how to follow orders. Maybe some light bondage if you're good." She said it so casual, like she was planning a training session instead of... whatever this was.

"And if I'm not good?"

That predatory smile was back. "Then you get punished."

My Lord in heaven.

"You're thinking about it again," she observed, sliding her foot higher up his leg. "I can see it in your eyes. The way you're gripping that fork."

He hadn't even realized how tense he was.

"Finish your food," she commanded softly. "We've got more to discuss."

And fuck him if his body didn't respond immediately to that tone. Like it already knew who was in charge.

"Yes..." he hesitated.

"Madam," she supplied, eyes glinting. "Better get used to saying that."

"Yes, Madam."

Something in her expression shifted - pleased, almost proud. Made his chest do weird things.

"Good boy."

Those two words shouldn't have affected him like that. But here he was, squirming in his chair from just her voice and praise. Did he also have a thing for that too?

"I think," she said, watching him eat, "we're going to have a lot of fun together. Once you're checked and cleared, of course."

"How long's that usually take?"

"Eager, are we?" She laughed. "Few days for the results. Then..." her foot reached his thigh and his dick hardened, "we can properly begin."

The rest of dinner passed in a haze of loaded looks and subtle touches. April kept dropping little hints about what she had planned, each one making his head spin more than the last.

By the time they finished eating, Trent felt like he was burning up from the inside. Everything felt heightened - the brush of her hand as she reached for the champagne, the way her lips curved around each word, how her eyes never left him even when the waitress came to clear their plates.

"Time for you to go," she said finally, standing up. "Got an early meeting tomorrow."

"That's it?"

"For now." She moved closer, close enough that he could smell that spiced vanilla again. "Unless you've changed your mind?"

"No," he said quickly. Maybe too quickly, based on her knowing smile.

"Good. I'll text you the details for getting checked. And Trent?"

"Yeah?"

She leaned in, lips brushing his ear: "Don't touch yourself tonight. That's your first command."

His whole body went hot. "And if I do?"

"Then I'll know." She pulled back, those eyes dancing with mischief. "And the punishment will be... memorable."

Fucking hell.

What had he gotten himself into?

But as he made his way back down those stairs, past all the sounds and sights that had shocked him earlier, Trent couldn't stop grinning.

Whatever this was - whatever April had planned for him - he was all in.

Even if it ruined him in the end.

…………..tbd

[protect-namine]

Ahhhhh your theory about how Vein died is sooooooooooo fucking real. Like I've seen people talk about how Lu Guang might have a secret power? But I feel like that's not the case cuz then we might have seen it play out in S1 and S2. Lg would surely would have used it in the fight with Qian Jin.

for context, anon is talking about this post where I theorize how vein "died." I go into it in more detail there, but the tl;dr version of it is: no lu guang did not kill him vein directly. he just delayed vein from entering the clinic early, thus creating a butterfly effect (hence his whole speech about it) that led to wang qing being awake when vein tries to leave with the notebook, thus creating an opportunity for her to "kill" vein which she wouldn't have had originally. but liu xiao interrupted this chain of events and that's why vein is alive using the faking death ability.

I am linking the reblog version here because other people have added their own thoughts since the creation of the post. I'm not sure if anon has seen it or just the original post, because in my original post I posit that liu xiao has the faking death ability. but after seeing other people's thoughts, I am now more leaning to the idea that wang qing has the faking death ability or perhaps, that a combination of wang qing and liu xiao is what made the "heart attack but fake death" happen. perhaps (unintentionally) they created a power combo-ing effect similar to how lu guang and cheng xiaoshi can create a mind link across time when combining their powers, or how li tianchen can possess people across space by proxy of li tianxi.

a power combo that works across "death" would be interesting, though this is merely speculative at this point. it would certainly provide another perspective to why they're paired up in the ed.

to now address anon: yeah, exactly. even if the addition of non-photo based powers is a recent change in writing direction (that they may not have had foresight on during the writing of previous seasons), it still would be too much of a drastic change for lu guang to be hiding another ability.

as I said in the post, it is unfortunate that we have to rely on information outside of the show to make sense of it, but yingdu really does make more sense when you've seen the recent interview with director li. in particular, it is heavily implied that liu xiao has more than one ability, and the process of gaining an ability (aside from inheritance from parents) is through death or stealing it from others.

while I am a believer in the idea that lu guang is willing to do morally questionable things for cheng xiaoshi, I don't think he would've had an opportunity to just get a new ability so soon after he just got the diving ability from cheng xiaoshi. on the flip side, if he always had multiple abilities since he was a kid, it would be bad writing lmao because then why has he never used it until now? especially when he's been timelooping for who knows how long to avoid a death node. I know link click is possibly retconning some details (2018 is now 2019, they changed the plans for red eyes, etc etc) but I don't think this would be a retcon they'd do because it would change too much of lu guang's character.

I am going to use this ask as a jumping off point to talk about yingdu's storytelling style, and how we should take this into account when analyzing this season. putting this under the cut now since this gets long and is kinda just a tangent now to the ask itself, though it does circle back to lu guang's role in vein's "death" in the end.

part of the reason vein's death is confusing is definitely because of the animation of lu guang puppeteering wang qing. I can totally see how people would come to the conclusion that lu guang was controlling her somehow. but we have to remember that yingdu is not like S1 and S2, for multiple reasons. one, it's a shorter season meant to introduce plot hooks, not plot; it's a setup for S3. two, it's a change in perspective from cheng xiaoshi's more grounded reality to lu guang who has been timelooping for forever. three, it was animated by a different studio than studio lan. fourth, it aims to provide a different story, and the storytelling style reflects that.

whereas S1 and S2 has a storytelling style that focused more on plot details and building up tension; yingdu focused more on relationships and emotions. it heavily uses visual metaphors in its storytelling compared to previous seasons.

in a way, although I have qualms about yingdu's writing, I do think visual metaphors is a valid solution to the problem of, "we only have six episodes to establish new plots and characters and motivations. how do we convey information efficiently in that amount of time without compromising artistry?"

I will mention one metaphor in detail that will be relevant for the lu guang discussion later. one example is glasses as a perception metaphor. this meta was written in YE5, and YE6 continues the metaphor as well because we see lu guang wear clear glasses for the first time, symbolizing that he is no longer stuck in his rose-tinted glasses era of looking into the past, and has decided to look into the future, solidified by his decision to remove vein from the situation and also because he reveals later that this is the last time he can loop.

there are, of course, more examples. idk if I have links for existing meta on this, but we have hands as a metaphor for relationships (hand holding, handshakes, fist bumps, etc) and the power balance of each relationship (with regards to secrets, deals, etc). we have various color theories floating around. we have theater/cinema and chess as metaphors for everyone's narrative roles. lu guang's imaginary clock as a metaphor for how he thinks the timeline should go, and how it's prevented from running by red strings forming the word BRIDON. we even see the clock fall apart in one of the later episodes (I forget which one atm). hell I could write a whole meta on liu xiao's tetris game as a metaphor for how he sees the "game" he's playing and the role xia fei plays into all of it.

side note: I think it's incredibly valid for people to feel that yingdu did not have enough space to properly establish characters, and I feel the same way too. but at the same time, I think a lot of characterization also gets missed in yingdu because it's a season that loves its metaphors and encodes character motivations through it instead of just showing it to us. I have conflicting feelings about this, but ultimately, they only had 6 episodes to tell a story, and I think that's something we should always keep in mind when managing expectations.

circling back to vein's "death" and lu guang's role in it... visual metaphors are gonna be confusing if people don't know this is what yingdu's storyelling heavily uses. I don't think we should be reading yingdu the same way we did S1/S2.

someone could watch lu guang puppetering wang qing and think, "oh he's using her to kill vein directly" but if we stick to yingdu's storytelling style, it is more likely a metaphor for him learning to manipulate the butterfly effect for his purposes (again also symbolized by the glasses metaphor, since he wears clear glasses in the same episode)

scenes should also not be taken out of context. there is a reason he made a whole speech about the butterfly effect first. a small change (delaying vein) results in a big change (killing vein). if lu guang was controlling wang qing or whatever, that is not a small change. that is not a butterfly effect. we literally had a butterfly land on lu guang's shoulder after he made this speech to vein. the point was to create a butterfly effect that would lead to a situation where vein dies.

and for my final tangent: this sets us up perfectly for S3 because I believe lu guang and liu xiao are supposed to be narrative foils.

they both have expressed wanting control over the timelines. liu xiao wants "to make uncertainties into certainties" (whatever this means) and lu guang wants "to make certainties (cheng xiaoshi's death node) uncertain." but as of S1 and S2, lu guang was not yet in a position to properly rival liu xiao over this theming, because we know he's been timelooping and failing over and over to save cheng xiaoshi, while liu xiao has been successfully manipulating people into doing things for him (getting li tianchen to retrieve liu min's phone for him; baiting cheng xiaoshi to go to bridon so he can use him to bait wang qing to revealing where she hid the location of cheng weimin's notebook so vein can steal it).

now, lu guang has shown some semblance of control. and we have seen the effects of it. cheng xiaoshi is still alive and well in a post-S2 post-yingdu timeline.

I mentioned this way back in YE2, but there's also a distinct change in the way we're moving from "closed loops" to "butterfly effects" as a theme in yingdu. yingdu has many objectives it wanted to do as a season, but the main one was lu guang learning to manipulate the timelines through creating a butterfly effect. in keeping with this theme and objective, it just does not make sense for him to kill vein by somehow directly controlling wang qing.

[hy6erion]

Would you do something smutty for Omar? Like forbidden romance, maybe the reader works for another team? No worries if not! ☺️

𝐎𝐟𝐟 𝐋𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 - 𝐎𝐦𝐚𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⍣✰..𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐎𝐦𝐚𝐫'𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐛 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐛 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚, 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬-𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞.

⇢ 𝐧𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲/𝐧, 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤...), 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭, 𝐦𝐝𝐧𝐢

𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 (≧◡≦) 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐨 (∩︵∩)

You knew this was going to happen.

You don’t know when you started losing control—maybe that first press conference, when Omar had smirked at you from across the room, barely listening to the questions being thrown at him, more interested in the way you shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. Maybe it was the tunnel before the last match, when he walked past you with nothing but a glance, but it lingered, and you felt it for hours afterward.

Or maybe it was tonight.

After the game, when tensions were still running high, players shoving, shouting, the rivalry bleeding into post-match interviews. You had been in the thick of it, doing your job—pulling players away from heated reporters, making sure the headlines tomorrow weren’t worse than they already would be.

Omar had been watching.

Not discreetly. Not with the usual stolen glances and passing interest.

No, this time, he had been studying you.

The worst part? You had let him.

You had felt his eyes on you the entire time—when you were smoothing over a brewing fight, when you were speaking to your team’s manager, when you finally exhaled in the hallway outside the media room, shutting your eyes for one brief second of reprieve.

That was when he made his move.

“Rough night?”

You knew his voice before you even opened your eyes.

When you finally turned, he was leaning casually against the wall, hands in his pockets, watching you like he was enjoying himself too much. His hair was still damp from the shower, his jersey swapped out for a fitted black shirt that did nothing to make ignoring him easier.

“You shouldn’t be talking to me right now,” you muttered, barely sparing him a glance.

Omar didn’t seem concerned. “That bad?”

You shot him a look. “Your team did just try to kill half of mine.”

He huffed out a laugh, tilting his head slightly. “Exaggeration.”

You gave him a deadpan stare. “Really? Because I just had to make sure one of my guys didn’t go to the press covered in blood.”

Omar grinned. “Tell him to throw a proper punch next time.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing off the wall. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet,” he mused, “you’re still talking to me.”

Your stomach twisted because he wasn’t wrong. You should walk away. You should be handling your team, fixing the media disaster that was bound to explode in the morning.

Instead, you were still here, letting Omar inch closer, letting that pull between you tighten like a wire about to snap.

You sucked in a slow breath, steadying yourself. “What do you want?”

Omar’s smirk softened, but there was something sharper in his gaze now, something that sent a slow wave of heat crawling up your spine.

“You already know.”

You hated that he was right.

You hated that you wanted him just as much.

But you weren’t stupid. You weren’t going to be another girl he played with, another reckless choice he made just because he could.

So you crossed your arms, raising a brow. “Then say it.”

For a second, you thought he wouldn’t. That he’d keep up the teasing, keep letting the tension simmer without ever fully breaking.

But then he took a step closer—just enough that your breath caught, just enough that if you moved even slightly, your bodies would touch.

“I want you in my room,” he said simply, voice low, steady. “Now.”

A shiver ran through you. Not from nerves. Not from hesitation.

From want.

Omar must have noticed, because his smirk deepened, and before you could think of a response—before you could even process the mess you were walking into—he turned on his heel and walked away.

Not looking back.

Not waiting for an answer.

Because he knew you’d follow.

And the worst part?

He was right.

You tell yourself you hesitated.

That you lingered in the hallway for a long time, weighing the consequences, reminding yourself of everything at stake.

But that would be a lie.

Because not even ten minutes later, you’re standing outside his hotel room, your heart pounding as you raise your hand to knock.

The door swings open before you touch it.

Omar leans against the frame, dark eyes sweeping over you slowly, like he already knew you’d come but wanted to see it, to feel the weight of your decision before either of you spoke.

You swallow hard. “This is a bad idea.”

His lips twitch, but he doesn’t smirk this time. He just watches you, steady and certain. “Then walk away.”

A challenge. A dare.

You don’t move.

Omar exhales softly, stepping aside. “Come in.”

You do.

The door closes behind you, the final nail in the coffin, the last warning that you should have listened to.

But it’s too late now. You barely have time to turn before Omar is on you.

The kiss is nothing like the teasing, lingering glances before. It’s hard, demanding, filled with weeks of tension crashing down all at once. His hands grip your waist, pulling you against him like he’s done waiting, like he’s done playing whatever game the two of you had started.

You gasp when your back meets the wall, and he takes advantage, deepening the kiss, his teeth catching your bottom lip before his tongue soothes the sting.

“You drive me crazy, you know that?” he mutters against your lips.

You laugh, breathless, your fingers threading into his hair. “Funny, I was just thinking the same thing.”

Omar huffs out something like a curse before his lips trail lower, over your jaw, down your throat.

His hands slip under your blazer, pushing it off your shoulders, and you let it fall to the floor without a second thought. His fingers slide under your shirt next, slow and deliberate, teasing over your skin until you’re aching for more.

“Say you want this,” he murmurs.

You tighten your grip in his hair, pulling his mouth back to yours. “I think that’s obvious.”

Omar groans, and then his hands are on your thighs, lifting you effortlessly. Your legs wrap around his waist, and the next thing you know, you’re falling onto the bed, his body pressing into yours, heat radiating off him in waves.

You stop thinking altogether.

—

The room is suffocating with heat, the air thick with tension that had been brewing for weeks. Omar's hands are everywhere-gripping your hips, sliding up your thighs, his touch firm and demanding.

He presses you down into the mattress, his body covering yours entirely, his breath hot against your ear as he growls, "You knew this would happen."

You gasp as he rolls his hips against you, slow but deliberate, teasing you with just enough friction to make you ache. Your fingers dig into his back, nails pressing into warm skin. "Stop talking," you whisper, voice uneven, needy.

Omar chuckles darkly, his lips brushing over your jaw, down your throat. "Impatient?"

You arch into him, desperate for more, and that's all the confirmation he needs. His grip tightens on your waist, pinning you beneath him as he finally, finally gives you what you want.

The first thrust steals your breath.

The stretch, the burn, the way he fills you-it's overwhelming, intoxicating, the kind of pleasure that borders on too much. Omar groans against your skin, his hands flexing on your hips, his control hanging by a thread.

He doesn't start slow.

He doesn't tease.

He fucks you like he's claiming you.

Each thrust is deep, precise, a relentless rhythm that has you gasping, moaning, gripping onto him like he's the only thing keeping you grounded.

"You feel so fucking good," he rasps, his forehead pressing against yours, his breath uneven.

You can't speak. You can barely think.

All you can do is cling to him, meeting his movements, your body tightening with every snap of his hips.

His fingers slip between you, pressing against the most sensitive part of you, and your whole body shudders.

"Come for me," he murmurs, voice low, coaxing. "Let me feel you."

It takes only a few more thrusts before you fall apart, pleasure crashing over you like a tidal wave, your nails dragging down his back as your body clenches around him.

Omar follows seconds later, groaning your name as he buries himself deep, his body going rigid before he finally collapses against you.

For a long moment, neither of you move.

The only sound is heavy breathing, the faint hum of satisfaction lingering in the air. Omar presses lazy kisses along your jaw, his fingers tracing idle patterns over your skin, like he has no intention of letting go.

And you don’t want him to.

You don't know how long it takes for your breathing to slow, for your heart rate to settle.

Omar is still against you, his forehead resting against yours, his fingers lazily tracing along your waist. Neither of you speak.

You should feel guilty.

You don’t.

You should leave.

You won’t.

Instead, you run your fingers through his hair, your touch slow, lingering. “You’re trouble.”

Omar grins, his lips brushing over your jaw, lazy and satisfied. “And you like it.”

You do. That’s the problem. Because this wasn’t a mistake.

It was a decision.

And the worst part?

You know you’ll make it again.

[truelovepolinator]

It's so sad to see you turned into a 🐜Luke and a Jakola, you used to be one of my favorite Lukola blogs. So girl bye, go follow Tiff and the other clowns. I'm sure they'll love you over there

Actually, Anon, this take is the exact opposite of what I said. I explicitly said that I do not believe Nicola and Jake are romantically involved. I also said explicitly that IF Luke is really dating A, I cannot respect that choice and I don't think it reflects well on him.

In fact, I'll go further. If by some wild twist of fate Nic and Luke really are dating these other people, and they go on to have the longest, happiest relationships in all of celebritydom, then good for them. I'm glad they're happy. But I will never ship those pairings. Not ever. The only ship I care about is Lukola. That ship is why I'm here.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. This is my one and only real world celebrity ship. Lukola is special. And I never said I believed the story we were told this past week in N's interview and L's hard launch. I said, they've told us something very clearly and we owe them the courtesy of listening and considering the possibility that what they've told us is true.

I also said that the only version of all of this that actually makes complete sense, even now, is Option 1 (where they are together). However, they have asked us to take a step back this past week, so I am respectfully doing so because I believe this is a critical time in their lives. I want to give them the time and space they need, so I'm turning down the heat for my part. I'm just a tiny nobody account and my choice to back-off will likely make little difference, but I want to respect their wishes in a time that feels especially important.

And if you read between the lines, what I've just said is the literal opposite of jumping ship.

For reference, here’s the blog post in question.

[madmax5]

it’s essay time yayayay!! this one is gonna be a song analysis/stranger things 5 speculation about “a different corner” by george michael.

now as you may have guessed, this will, of course, be an analysis of this song in relation to byler (both perspectives) and why it would make sense for this song, if it were in the show, to be over some kind of scene of them.

ok so first of all. the first thing that really caught my eye (or ear, i guess) with this song was the synth-type backing instrumentals. it sounds so much like something that would be used as background music in the show -- though if it was they would probably use an instrumental version, just to avoid the distraction of singing during an important scene (as i am about to lay out!).

second of all, the lyrics, of course. but first some background and context on the song!

this song was released in July of 1986 as a part of wham!’s album “music from the edge of the world,” though the song was accredited to george michael, as he wrote the entire thing, as well as doing all the vocals and instruments for the song. if you’ve listened to the song or read the lyrics, you can probably guess that it is about some kind of relationship -- and you would be right! when discussing where this song originated from in various interviews, george michael confirmed multiple times that the song was written and recorded in the wake of an ended relationship. 

george michael, who was openly gay after coming out in 1998, also once said in an interview about the song, “it’s amazing how emotional you can get in a short period of time and how long it can last. someone can really shake you up and it takes you a long time to get yourself back on your feet.” (obviously this doesn’t exactly fit mike and will, as they’ve known each other for a very long time, i just thought it was an interesting quote about the song and maybe something that can apply to how clearly devoted they are to each other, whether it be platonic or romantic)

now actually onto the lyrics!! here are a few lines that jumped out at me while i was listening --

“i would promise you all my life, but to lose you would cut like a knife.”

honestly i think this line makes sense from either of their perspectives. from mike’s perspective, obviously he’s afraid to lose will because of the numerous times he has lost him (physically and emotionally) in the past. will is so important to mike that, of course, this loss would be brutal for him and would “cut [him] like a knife.” from will’s perspective, he very clearly really likes mike (maybe even loves him) and wants to “promise [mike] all of [his] life,” but of course, he won’t do that, because he’s afraid of the reaction mike might have. if mike isn’t similarly interested in will, then will risks losing mike if he has a bad reaction to will’s confession. just as will is to mike, mike is incredibly important to will, and this would be a devastating loss -- not just the loss of someone he’s romantically interested, but the loss of his best friend.

“no, i’ve never come close in all of these years, you are the only one to stop my tears, and i’m so scared of this love.”

to me, this line means something like, “i’ve never loved someone like this and you mean so much to me and are so important to me, but i’m scared of what this feeling means” obviously there may be different interpretations of what it means, that’s just what it struck me as at first listen (200 listens…). this can be directly applied to, once again, either of them. this may be how will was feeling, whenever he first realized that what he felt for mike wasn’t strictly platonic, whenever that was. this could also be how mike feels when he realizes how he feels about will. he’s “never loved someone like this” because (if we’re assuming mike is gay, which could very well not be the case! there’s is still a pretty big chance he also likes girls) he hasn’t been able to really be interested in a girl before, not like the rest of his friends are, not like he thinks he’s supposed to be, so being able to experience that feeling when it comes to will is eye opening to him. and, of course, this is realization terrifying because of his copious amounts of internalized homophobia (there isn’t an essay long enough in the entire world to get into that) and the homophobia that is casually thrown around in small-town indiana in the ‘80s. 

also, on a similar train of thought….

“take me back in time, maybe i can forget, turn a different corner and we never would have met.”

mike probably has wished before/will wish at some point that he had never realized how he felt about will. once again, his internalized homophobia and adamant denial of his feelings are probably making life feel very difficult for him and he probably, in a moment of weakness, has wished to go back to when it was simple. i don’t think he would go as far as to wish he and will had never met, but you never know. 

"i should go back to being lonely and confused, if i could, i would, i swear."

will said to joyce at the beginning of season three that he was "not gonna fall in love." he probably has felt some level of loneliness (in the romantic/relationship sense) throughout his life, both from the lack of ability to be in an openly gay, but still safe, relationship during that time period, and also from the lack of ability to discuss relationships with his friends in a fully relatable way without outing himself to them. when he realized his feelings for mike, it is very possible that he wasn't happy about the way he felt and instead wished he could go back to being "lonely and confused," rather than living with the knowledge that he was in love with his best friend (a very hard thing to grapple with).

i could totally see this song being in the show, whether it be in a more symbolic (playing over the radio in the background of a scene), less recognizable (an instrumental version under a conversation), or completely direct (playing through a scene of a conversation/under a scene of them/etc.) sense. the symbolism would be so cool and it totally fits the vibes of the soundtrack, in my opinion. it’s also perfectly lined up with the time frame (especially with a time jump) -- added bonus!

thank you for reading this crazy long (literally over 1000 words) essay. i literally had so much fun writing this -- i LOVE song analysis!!!

[fanfic-recs-01]

Hannigram Fics

This is just a list of Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham Fics I like on AO3, if you have any recs for me feel free to send me some!

Updated 2/2/25

Philia by Gweezle

~Getting into Jack Crawford's Forensic Psychology class was a dream come true for Will Graham, until he learns that his final assignment is to attend twelve interviews with the notorious serial killer, Hannibal the Cannibal, in order to unravel his mysterious past.~

Night Shift by PossessiveNoun

~There are certain rules to follow when working for Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Under no circumstances are you to engage any of the inmates in personal conversation, put yourself in a position where they can cause you serious injury, or let them get inside your head..~

Devils in the Dark by DarkmoonSigel

~After having encephalitis and brutally murdering a serial killer who tried to kill his dogs, Will Graham finds himself in the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Life is dull until the Chesapeake Ripper is brought down to the lower levels to live in a cell beside Will.~

The Other Side of the Mirror by nbcravenstag

~On his way home from their last supper, Will Graham suddenly changes his mind.~

The Ripper and the Wendigo by nbcravenstag

~The Chesapeake Ripper and the Wendigo, two notorious serial killers and prisoners of the BSHCI are being transported across town in the same van. They’ve never met, but their instant connection is beautiful, powerful, and deadly to everyone involved.~

Ten Little Numbers by sourweather

~Will and Bev have a game they like to play. They go to bars and see who can get the most phone numbers from strangers. One night, he meets a very interesting stranger. Is he safe falling hard and fast for Hannibal Lecter, or is the mysterious man making his way into Will's heart hiding something much more sinister beneath the surface?~

let not man tear asunder by cannibalspectacle 

~The FBI wants the disgraced Dr. Lecter's help catching a killer called Buffalo Bill. Dr. Lecter wants something in exchange.~

White Shark Café by justheretoreadhannibalfics

~Will owns a café, and killers love it.~

I Am Here to Serve My Muse by PassingShadow

~In which Artist!Will is inspired by the Chesapeake Ripper, and Hannibal is intrigued in turn.~

Anchor in a Lockdown by Anna_Jay 

~In which Will is an unfortunate prison guard who is sent to work the red zone, the current home of Dr. Hannibal Lecter.~

Pattern Break by ThisBeautifulDrowning

~After his release from the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, Will doesn't return to work for the FBI.~

We Can Chase the Dark Together by K_R_Closson 

~Will tips him and Hannibal off the cliff. Instead of hitting the water, he wakes up in his bed, several years in the past. His first, and only, priority is to find Hannibal again.~

La Maison Rouge by Randstad

~Hannibal starts to show up at Will's house at the crack of dawn to make him breakfast, killing two birds with one stone: cooking is one of his many passions, and, honestly, Will Graham is climbing up the list.~

Never Conquered, Rarely Came by thisisthefamilybusiness

~Normally, this is the part where Will would pick up his cell phone and leave an anonymous tip on the police crime hotline, tell them there was a cannibalistic serial murderer lurking around the area code of the phone number given in the ad. But not today. Not when his very bones ache and all the raw and bruised places on his skin throb in time with his pulse. Not when exhaustion is slowly eating away at him in a way that has nothing to do with how little he slept last night.~

The Borderland State by nekosmuse

~Three years after Hannibal's arrest, Will Graham stands on the front porch of his Georgian seaside home and watches twin headlights navigate the winding stretch of his lane. There is only one reason Jack Crawford would travel all this way, in the rain: Hannibal Lecter has escaped from prison, and no one knows where he is.~

Kindling by gleamingandwholeanddeadly (something_safe)

~When Franklyn's advances of friendship become too much for even Hannibal to politely ignore, he enlists Will's help.~

My Husband by VictoriaAGrey

~“My husband this, my husband that. It’s a wonder Jack hasn’t followed your trail of “my husband”s to our front door.”

“He doesn’t know we’re married.”

“He’s the only one!”~

We Killed a Dragon Last Night by inameitlater 

~Will remembers falling.

He wakes up months before Jack got him to work for him. Months before he met Hannibal for the first time.

Free from his past he decides to change events and meet Hannibal again.~

Falls the Shadow by littlesystems

~AKA an AU where Bedelia is Will’s psychiatrist instead of Hannibal, Will makes a series of increasingly questionable life choices, and no one should ever take Bedelia’s advice. Ever.~

haarlem by spqr

~“Hannibal,” he thinks he says. He gets told later that he doesn’t really say it at all, but that the entire police station—most of which is waiting outside in the rainy parking lot—hears his voice clattering around inside their skulls like someone standing on a roof banging pots and pans and screaming at the top of his lungs: HANNIBAL, HANNIBAL, HANNIBAL.~

[bekaterrier]

Happy Audio Drama Sunday!

I wanted to start off by shouting out @podcast-bookclub for the fantastic Audio Fiction Convention they organized for this weekend. I'm still catching up on some of the sessions that weren't in my timezone, but I wanted to highlight a couple I've really enjoyed so far:

- Worldbuilding for Audio Fiction by Meg Tuten

- Crowdfunding for Audio Drama by Tal Minear

- BIPOC Rep in Audio Drama by Motzie Dapul

- Remediation of Fiction Podcasts by MJ

There have also been some incredibly interesting panels on writing for audio, using music as a story element, etc. If you haven't checked it out, the VODs are available on the podcast bookclub's twitch channel, and I highly suggest you check them out.

Also check out the discord, and especially the Artist's Alley where myself and other awesome artists have our podcast-inspired art on display 😄

@midnightburgr Welcome to the Horizon Part 10 - Phoenix: So many things to love about this episode. Swamp Thing! Doug and Steve taking the lead on prepping for the disaster is incredible. Trinkett going for the mushrooms! The fucking Teds! And then my absolute favourite part they had me freaking out: Deidre and Verge ON THE MOON!!! [For those who don't know, the voice actors for Deidre and Verge were both in Moonbase Theta, Out, so the fact that their MB characters ended up on the Moon together is just... incredible. Love that for them.] 🌕

@thefringespod S1: AuFiCon inspired me to listening to more shows that I've had on my list for a while, and I started with TftFoR. The worldbuilding is incredible, and the way that it's slowly revealed throughout the season is so well done. I adored Minerva and her violin plucking sounds from the start, but just to show you part of my reaction notes from the end of the season: omgggggg MIN :(((( Crying for Sil. I knew something was up but I wasn't expecting that!!

I'm looking forward to continuing with S2! ✨

@wanderersjournalpod S1: Another show that's been on my list for a while, and that has super interesting world building. The mysterious magical journal is such an interesting way for two characters to communicate. I am absolutely fascinated by this world and these two characters, especially where Marigold has come from. However, I am also very worried for Pluto. Also I love creature. Thank goodness that S2 is in the works! 📔

@starfallpod - Act 1 Scene xix: I couldn't help but laugh at the comment that they're two sacks of potatoes lighter now that Leona has her appetite back. I do love when characters get put in situations with people they might not normally be with, and this was no exception. Especially when the whole goal was for them to get into trouble but in a specific area (which they did). Did Centhy even actually need those flowers? 🌸

@ameliapodcast S5 Part 1: I am absolutely loving the journey into the past that we're taking with both Kozlowski and The Interviewer. I am also wondering how reliable these narrators are...though the CIA checked out Kozlowski's stories! Can't wait to keep delving into their stories. 🐦‍🔥

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 2nd February ✨

I feel like I’ve had such an audio drama-filled week, it’s been so nice 🥺

🦋 @remnantspod (26) Hoooo boy. Listening to this one before work was certainly a Choice!! I found the exploration of how disability affects people around you in ways you can’t control and may feel guilt about something really valuable to explore. My wife had a big operation and needed a wheelchair for a while last year and it was something that came up for us, but I’ve never seen it explored in audio drama! 

And, of course, we hit again this idea of unfulfilled potential - the typewriter  that was never used. The scenes with Sir and the Apprentice were very interesting…The idea of it being safe to give the apprentice information because he ‘won’t last’ made me wince. Also I’m back on my angel Peter BS, I think Sir is actually meant to be judging ‘the apprentice’. The Apprentice seemed not to fear the ‘dust’ when he’s seen it. But I don’t know how to feel about something that can make Sir beg… 

🎃 Waiting For October by @monkeymanproductions (4) hello, I am here to give my life for Frederick! 😻 I really loved the train gremlins, for some reason they really reminded me of the film Labyrinth but I don’t know why! Poor Karo, every part of this trip is bringing up so much for her. 

🧋 @hinaypod (33-34) I’ve listened to so much Hi Nay this week as the episodes were split into parts. I finally hit the bit where Murphy has to make an awful decision, but I’m yet to see the consequences! The fear death books make for some incredibly spooky tales! Hearing the house-sitter story from both perspectives was particularly chilling! I think these episodes have highlighted how much they need Mari around!! Also, I definitely missed the part where Laura and CJ got together officially! Good for u, girls!! ALSO, the idea that The Benefactor actually tried to split the power equally and is/was only going after people who tried to hoard power is verrrry interesting. In my head, he’s been set up as the Big Bad but it seems like there’s more to it than that! 

🍾 @ameliapodcast (43-46) what a great start to the season! I’m a little bit terrified by Kozlowski, and a little bit in love with him. I don’t know what is happening to my dear Interviewer, but I need a solution fast!! 

🌨️ @thewhitevault (17) Ohhh Dragana!!! She has been affected!! I had no doubt that she would be able to get them out of Goshawk safely. . . but now I do! And ugh, the scene where you hear the woman’s voice go repeat the cry for help at a different door is just awful! I love seeing the grípralviðr in action! It’s been so interesting to get a proper look behind the curtain at how the families operate through the eyes of someone who it’s all kind-of new to as well! 

🌵 @desertskiespodcast (12) Songs? Sung ✅ Astral Plane? Saved ✅ Tears? SHED!!! I was having a lovely old time listening to this episode until the new little passenger turned on the old lacrimal hosepipe. I’ve absolutely loved this season and I’ve only heard good things about what’s to come! 

I can’t tell you how excited I am for the return of @hellofromthehallowoods this week. Get me back to those black pines, please! I have missed you so much 🖤

[mariacallous]

One of the first questions Kash Patel, President Donald Trump’s pick for FBI director, faced during his Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing on Thursday was whether he was a “follower or promoter of QAnon.”

Patel’s response to committee chairman Senator Chuck Grassley was unequivocal: “I have publicly rejected outright QAnon baseless conspiracy theories or any other baseless conspiracy theories.”

This isn’t true. Patel’s claim that he was not a promoter of QAnon is undermined by years of his very public and overt promotion of the QAnon community.

Patel, along with President Donald Trump, has been one of the main driving forces in keeping the QAnon community alive in the years since messages from the anonymous Q figure stopped being published on fringe message board 8chan. Patel has repeatedly praised the movement on social media platforms like Truth Social, appeared on dozens of podcasts that promote the conspiracy theory, and created an entirely new trend within the movement. He even signed copies of his children’s book with a QAnon catchphrase—though Patel subsequently claimed he used the phrase because of its connection with a movie.

Patel has long been a figure of interest for the QAnon community. He was named in the so-called Q-drops posted to fringe message boards by the eponymous leader of the movement, who claimed to be a government insider seeking to help unmask a deep-state plot against Trump.

“Kashyap Patel - name to remember,” a Q-drop read back in 2018 when Patel was working as a senior committee aide to then House Intelligence Committee chair Devin Nunes.

In 2022, when Patel became a director at the Trump Media & Technology Group, Patel worked to entice the QAnon community to join Truth Social.

“We try to incorporate it into our overall messaging scheme to capture audiences because whoever that person is has certainly captured a widespread breath of the MAGA and the America First movement,” said Patel on a June 2022 episode of the Patriot Party News show. “And so what I try to do is—what I try to do with anything, Q or otherwise, is you can’t ignore that group of people that has such a strong dominant following.”

One of the key parts of that effort was the creation of a @Q account on Truth Social, which was done by the site’s own developers.

“Having a beer with @q right now,” Patel wrote on Truth Social in February 2022, just days after the platform went live. The @Q account responded the following day, saying they were once again with Patel, and asking followers: “Alright anons, where are we kicking it tonight?”

That post included the hashtag #FlannelFridays, which quickly took hold with the QAnon community after Patel promoted it, inspiring new memes and followers who dressed up in flannel. “It’s become this massive thing online,” Patel told Russia disinformation promoter Tim Pool during a podcast interview in 2022.

In 2022, he told pro-Trump influencer Mary Grace: “I agree with what a lot of that movement says." In recent years, Patel has even published his own enemies list of 60 people he claims are “members of the deep state,” a central tenet of QAnon.

Patel also regularly praised the QAnon movement for its “research” skills.

“I’ve seen on Truth Social how good these researchers are, and I kind of wish I’d had some of them when I was doing Russiagate,” Patel said in another podcast with a conspiracy channel. “I talk with the president all the time, and we’re just blown away at the amount of acumen some of these people have.”

When Patel released a series of children’s books in 2022, he posted to Truth Social an image of himself signing copies of one of his books, The Plot Against the King, with the explicitly QAnon-linked hashtag #WWG1WGA, which stands for “where we go one, we go all.” The book features a besieged King Donald and a wise and loyal wizard named Kash, who helps his monarch. In the sequel, The Plot Against the King: 2000 Mules, Patel pushed election-denial conspiracies.

Patel has not limited his promotion and endorsement of Q to Truth Social. Since January 2021, Patel has appeared on “at least 53 episodes of 13 podcasts that have overtly promoted the QAnon movement and/or shared QAnon-related conspiracy theories,” according to an analysis conducted for WIRED by researchers at Advance Democracy, a nonprofit organization that conducts public interest research.

One of the podcasts Patel appeared on most regularly was the Stew Peters Show, hosted by Peters, an antisemitic antivaxxer.

When asked by Senator Dick Durbin during the hearing on Thursday if he was aware of Stew Peters, Patel said: “Not off the top of my head.” Durbin reminded Patel: “You made eight separate appearances on his podcast.”

Addressing the conversation on his show later on Thursday, Peters said: “Clearly, Kash Patel is lying. He absolutely does know who I am.”

Patel’s rapid rise within the US government and potential ascension to the role of FBI director was viewed among QAnon adherents as the moment they had all been waiting for, when the deep state would finally be unmasked, enemies rounded up and arrested, and public executions carried out.

Rather than seeing Patel’s disavowal of QAnon as a betrayal, a review of posts on platforms like Truth Social, Telegram, Gab, 4chan, TikTok, and X show people on QAnon message boards defending his comments and praising his performance.

“THERE IS NO QANON, SO KASH TOLD THE TRUTH!!” one QAnon influencer posted on Telegram, referencing the false claim within the movement that the term QAnon is simply a construction of the mainstream media.

“He basically said they are not conspiracies but rather the truth, love it.” a follower responded.

[penguinlife]

There was no betrayal

It is upsetting to me how many people are lashing out at Luke or even the dancer. He did not betray anyone. We saw him with her after the London premiere. We knew there was something there. It is not a shock that they went to the Boss (I want to say show??) Thingy. It was very interesting to see him actually interacting with her in a way that looks like they are together. The handhold thing was actually him helping her step over the pavement. Ever the gentlemen. He was rubbing her back and smiling and talking, and she even did a butt grab. I know everyone is comparing it with the WT and how he is around Nic. And that is not really fair. Nic and he has a long friendship. Nic is warm and very affectionate. Everyone can see they love each other. And it is a jump from friends to lovers. It was a very scary jump. Like they said in that one interview, you risk losing your very best friend.

Has something happened with Nic and Luke. I still say yes. This is a hill I have planted my flag on. Do I believe the dancer has been a continuous thing. F@CK NO. I believe it is very much an on and off again situationship.

Do I believe feelings have been hurt. YES. I think on both sides, Nic and Luke. Do I think they are currently in a good place. No.

Is Nic dating Jake. I hope not. But considering the past 24hrs. Who knows. He might be the only straight man in the world who has mostly gay friends. Hangs out with them separately in date like situations. Kiss them on the cheek, be kissed on the cheek by them. Be called a loving endearment that means gay young attractive man. That saying, if it acts like a duck, quacks like a duck, it is probably a duck. Jake has grown on me. But more like someone whose career I want to follow. Not in a f@cking weird ass relationship with a woman 14 years older, wiser, and way more accomplished than him. I love Nic. But gross. Please find someone at least close to your age.

Both these relationships are doing damage to Luke and Nics careers. It is what it is. Luke looked so unbelievably hot yesterday. If he went to the event alone, it would've been so impactful. But all anyone is talking about is the presence of the dancer.

I don't know her, but I really don't like her. When they part ways, I will immediately forget she ever existed.

The only thing that is a positive is that now, for the love of everything that is sane, stop with the pregnancy rumours.

I want Luke's career to thrive. And separating his image from Nic and Bridgerton is not the way to go. But you do you boo.

Am I still hoping that they wake up and get together, yes. That will never change. But for now, I will wait and see.

I am dying to see if Luke actually includes pics of the dancer in his inevitable Boss post. I really hope his publisher stops him.

I just want to say something about PR relationships. They have to be mutually beneficial. Neither Luke and A nor Nic and Jake are beneficial. They received way more negative attention than positive. I can promise you Luke's camp was not happy to see A at his side. The long creepy video that was filmed and may I add edited to all the highlights was definitely from her camp.

[p-cap-press]

THE TELEGRAPH

Peter Capaldi interview: ‘The default Doctor Who now is a kind of cosmic imp’

INTERVIEW

The actor talks about playing the Time Lord, never doing Shakespeare and releasing his debut album at the age of 63

Neil McCormick

12 November 2021 5:00am GMT

Before Peter Capaldi was an actor; long before he became celebrated as fierce civil servant Malcolm Tucker in The Thick of It or a daunting and strange Doctor in Doctor Who, he played guitar and sang in obscure Scottish punk band B-----ds from Hell. Now, at 63, Capaldi is finally about to release his debut album. “I’m not setting out to make a career change or chase my cousin Lewis up the charts,” he insists. “I’m an enthusiastic amateur having a go.”

St Christopher is a strange and beguiling piece of work, a complex slice of baroque pop-rock and ornate singer-songwriting, its widescreen productions decorated with poetic lyrics delivered with downbeat theatrical flair. “It’s largely the same stuff that was floating round my head post art school, Glasgow, circa 1979, set in neon and rain. Except I’m 40 years older.”

Sitting in a north London café, Capaldi stirs an “extra hot” latte. He’s wearing a sleek black coat over a white T-shirt, his face lean, eyes sparkling, mouth playing with a perpetual half-smile. He draws movie-star attention but blanks it out as he discusses his passion project.

“There’s a tyranny of logic about acting. Your job is to tell the story through the medium of your part as effectively as possible. But it’s somebody else’s story. I enjoy the freedom of music, you can respond to a sound or a tone or a chord and try to construct something that goes with that or against it.” Capaldi’s lyrics playfully grapple with grand themes, from the interconnectedness of everything on Atlanta Vacant Lot to the ephemeral illusions of deluded youth, on the slyly mocking Beautiful and Weird.

As a working-class child (his parents ran an ice-cream business) growing up in Glasgow in the 1960s, Capaldi was drawn to acting but didn’t feel equipped. “You go to an audition and they ask ‘what’s your Shakespearean piece?’ I’d never seen a Shakespeare play. So you’re hopeless, because there’s no uncle in the RSC [Royal Shakespeare Company], you’re not part of that world, you have nothing except a desire to have a go. So I did apply to drama school but I didn’t get in.”

A teacher encouraged him to apply to Glasgow Art School, where “music swept me away”. The B-----ds turned into the Dreamboys, with future comedian Craig Ferguson on drums. “As we were slightly pretentious art school kids, we were trying to evoke a kind of Dr Caligari dreamscape, but we just sounded like a junior branch of the Chippendales male strippers.” They soldiered on in obscurity for years. Then, while touring as support to Scottish new-wave pop band Altered Images, Capaldi was spotted by director Bill Forsyth. At 24, he found himself making his film debut opposite Burt Lancaster in Local Hero. “He [Lancaster] was fabulous. He said: ‘Kid, your instincts are terrific! Terrific! But I can’t understand a f---ing word you’re saying.’”

Capaldi with Burt Lancaster in Local Hero (1983) Credit: Alamy Stock Photo

Capaldi had a long career as, effectively, an interesting supporting actor. “You look back and go ‘Well, that was a good choice, that was a bad choice’, but really there were no choices. I had a baby and a wife and a mortgage. You’ve got to do whatever comes up.” He won an Oscar in 1995 as writer and director of the short film Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life, but subsequent projects collapsed. “It’s a tough business. I had a very bleak period where whatever initial success I’d had had long failed. There was no work, no money coming in, Oscars had come and gone, Local Hero had come and gone, youth had come and gone. And I didn’t know how to get it back on track.”  Then, out of the blue, fellow Glaswegian Armando Iannucci asked him to be in his new sitcom, The Thick of It. “The big lesson I learnt was that you can’t control it, so stop angsting over it. But that’s easy to say now. It wasn’t easy stalking about with no money for a cup of coffee.”

It wasn’t until he was in his fifties and cast as the 12th Doctor that he achieved household-name fame. “My job was to go into work in the morning and battle Daleks. It was fabulous. You get to inhabit the skin of this charismatic, magical creature. Kids look at you and you can see their jaws drop. That’s an extraordinary position to be in.”

Yet he admits to finding the pressure of being recognised on the street quite daunting. “You have to always be positive and good-hearted. My default position is probably a bit more melancholic and reflective, but nobody wants to hear about that stuff when you’re the Doctor. I wanted to be a more distant and alien Doctor. Because that’s how I remember [first Doctor] William Hartnell, being a kid in Glasgow on dark winter nights when this strange figure with the white hair and slightly irate voice could open this portal to a magical world. The default now is a kind of cosmic imp. Which is great. But I wanted to touch the dark winter nights. I’m not sure whether the brand supports that any more, but that’s what I was interested in.”

The reign of his successor Jodie Whittaker ends next year, but Capaldi expresses no opinions on who should follow. “One of the great things about doing Doctor Who is it kind of cures you, in the nicest possible way. So I think they’re all great and I wish everybody well, but I’m done,” he laughs almost gleefully.

Capaldi as the 12th incarnation of Doctor Who Credit: BBC

The revival of his long-dormant musical career is the tale of two doctors, when Doctor Who met Dr Robert (AKA songwriter and producer Robert Howard, frontman of vintage art rockers the Blow Monkeys). The two would play guitar together at parties, and Capaldi became a fascinated observer of Dr Robert’s studio work.  Meanwhile, Capaldi’s young second cousin, Lewis Capaldi, was rising to fame as the UK’s favourite singer-songwriter. “Lewis is a proper musician, a really gifted songwriter. He’s been doing that since he was like, 11 or something. I’m very proud of him, even if I don’t really know him.”

Capaldi, who will soon be seen in the Terence Davies film Benediction, about Siegfried Sassoon, jokingly admits he still doesn’t have “a Shakespeare piece” for auditions. “Shakespearean companies have never troubled me with their interest. I know in my heart of hearts, I can act it. But once you get into a production, you are going to be up against people who have been practising the iambic pentameter for the last 30 years.” He shakes his head. “Ach, I could do it! But, you know, it’s such a palaver, they last so long, they’re always like three-and-a half hours long. I’m not bothered.”

His advice for young actors is simple. “Number one, and most important of all, learn your lines. Because if you learn your lines, you have the freedom to tell the story using everything God’s given you. Number two, hang on in there. Because the stars align, sometimes. Look at me. Sometimes you get lucky.”

Peter Capaldi’s St Christopher is out next Friday on Monks Road Records

[hopecomesbacktolife]

I finished the book and omggg. it was so good, y’all 👏🏻✨🖖🏻

(disclaimer that ofc the several excerpts below contain plot and character spoilers)

there were sooooo many good things in this book, but here’s a few more snippets I couldn’t resist sharing:

ummmm I’m sorry is sweet Irish doctor man saying his Vulcan lady love reminds him of Tinuviel?!?!??! lemme just 😭❣️

Throughout the book Sarek is continually apologizing to Spock for how he used to treat him, recognizing to himself the error and illogicalness of those actions, holding himself accountable to them, trying as hard as he can to really see Spock and get to know him and rebuild their relationship, but also entirely leave it up to Spock whether he decides to accept the apology or not, and it was one of the loveliest parts of this book, just so good and cleansing to read throughout. This moment is a mind meld between Sarek, Amanda, and Spock out of medical necessity and it was just so lovely and sweet 🥹🖖🏻

!!!! I absolutely LOVED that we got to see this in this book!!! Not only did this author clearly love McCoy, she wrote interdoctorpersonal (lol) interactions so fondly and clearly having the same affection for trek doctors as I have 💕 — but!! we got to also see more of Dr. M’Benga throughout the book and see what a wonderful doctor he is too, and then the fact that we got this interaction also made me so happy!!! ♡ earlier in the book McCoy had asked if a Vulcan physician would consider a Starfleet tour and that character was interested but not in the near future— and she used that to seamlessly set this scene up! I just. I loved it so much

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this moment posted onto tumblr before but it’s too good to not include ♡ I love how much this author really, clearly loves Vulcans, and Spock, and Sarek/Amanda, and their family as a whole, and their entire culture, it’s really just lovely to read a book where the author’s affection for the main subject material is so tangibly present in the book!

S’chn T’gai Amanda is having none of your “the lady must be shielded from stressful topics in order to recover from her ailments” arguments and demands to be told the whole thrilling tale / adventure, absolute icon, a queen, I love her 💖

I also dearly love something else this book did with Amanda, which is to show— both on her part and Sarek’s— an appreciation and fondness for physical signs of aging in bodies. what I mean is: Amanda’s treatment was purposefully curated to not bring her back to a pre-grey-hair, pre-smile-lines physical appearance of youth, and they both are, multiple times on page, stated to be very happy for this!!!! I love!!!!! this author pointing out the futility of eternally idolizing the physical appearance of youth— the illogic of it— and moreover having the characters express a marked preference and affection for having signs of their aging!!! my beloved. I adore this. so much.

—

anyways, this book was really, really good, I’m so excited to read The IDIC Epidemic (also by Jean Lorrah) because she is just, such a good writer and clearly loves these characters and this world so, so much, and it’s a joy to read 🙏🏻💕🖖🏻✨

also ps. not directly related to the book itself, but I found out that the author has also gotten into painting/drawing in recent years, which you can learn more about along with see some of her work here, here, and here, and also read this really insightful interview with her and one of her friends+fellow Trekkies who co-created several projects together!! Absolute legends of fandom foremothers ❣️🖖🏻❣️

ohhhh reading a trek novel by an author who not only dearly loves these characters but loves them in the same way I do feels like such a treat ♡ I’m one chapter in and I’m already so delighted by these love-filled characterizations. they’re so spot on. I love them ♡

(descriptions / transcriptions of these quotes / excerpts are also in the alt text on each photo, book is The Vulcan Academy Murders by Jean Lorrah)

Hamlet / Shakespeare + Klingons, 7 years before STVI the undiscovered country came out, omg

anyone who writes McCoy as the incredibly compassionate, deeply tender-hearted doctor who cares and loves and wishes healing for all so much it physically pains him and is grumpy because he can’t erase all hurt for everyone— is an automatic win for me, thank you for loving McCoy and writing him like this, Jean Lorrah, this is so important to me 🥹❣️

Spock & Bones being friends!!!! Incredible respect and affection in their bond and counting on each other when it matters!!!! I love them!!!!!

also in the next part Spock makes sure to bring Jim along too but I just. I love when authors Get TM the dynamic between Spock & McCoy. I’m already loving this book so much and am sooooo excited that I get to read it

[oscarwetnwilde]

James Wilby interviewed for BFI for "Reflections on Maurice" in 2019.