#This has been a miserable fucking game
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Some of you really need to get a grip and stop with this hypercritical bullshit on pb and associates I’m sooooo sick of it.
“The new candlelight project sounds just like the elementalists, nothing about this concept is original :/“ aren’t you the same ppl begging for a fantasy story and the old choices back?
#some of you are just taking it too far fr#if you’re incapable of enjoying things just leave#stop being miserable and making us miserable with you#also#respectfully#who gives a FUCK if the new book has vibes of a concept you already heard of and been done before#go write your own visual novel if you’re so smart and original#like popular tropes and concepts are popular for a reason! ofc you’re gonna see them a lot#playchoices#candlelight games
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Does anyone have a Shadow Milk mii I need to make pureshadow real
(Disclaimer I did NOT make this mii I found it on google)
#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#pureshadow#shadowvanilla#vanilla milkshake#I’ve just been downloading random miis and saw pv and was like sure. I’ll find sm eventually and then I can make them date#until then he has to sleep with the horse#I gave him one of those trip tickets from the roulette and he looked so miserable when the game said he had nobody to go with#IM SORRY BUT THAT WAS. REALLY FUCKING FUNNY.
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WHAT TAROT CARD ARE YOU ?
JUSTICE — what would you do to ensure justice? you know full well i don’t speak of lofty ideals and courts and magistrates, dearest. what would you do to those that hurt you? if I dropped them in your lap, what would you do? what kind of pain could you possibly inflict upon them? you are right to do so. you are right to want to do so. ignore the screaming, dearest, you are the hand of justice now, and they hurt you. do not look too closely at their faces, dearest. you are within your rights. you spell out your own rights, now. are you happy about it? are you certain that this is the right person you hold by the hair? does your anger hurt less now?
tagged by: @nonpareil
tagging: @lenfear , @wulfmaed , @oflorien , @belayadeath , @sanctamater , @lcerys , and @zalarys
#DASH GAMES //#her concept of justice and her concept of what makes things even is entirely ? it has its basis in what she considers fair and the black#and white nature of her own morality like it’s#her conceptualization of justice is set wholly in courts and the legality of the situation and the importance of one’s sworn word in the#society she was brought up in#like IT IS based in ideals - it IS based in court#and like there has just 😭 been so much. there’s so much - she can’t punish everyone who’s attempted to diminish her or hurt her in any#sort of way because it’s all blurred into one consistent stream of things that she has ? she needs to let go of - she can’t respond to#every little thing when the allegations flung at her most post the birth of her children are that of high treason#like there’s so much simmering anger that she just buried deeper and deeper until she can pretend it doesn’t exist#she doesn’t hurt alicent she doesn’t hurt helaena she’s even reluctant to attack KL after Luke’s death due to her fear of kinslaying like#she has her limits and that still is ? The people she would perceive as innocent and people like Alicent who ? in the book viserys loved an#in the show who she herself cared for like it’s#‘ does your anger hurt less now ? ‘ no! it does not#because the price she’s paid to successfully reclaim what they stole from her is ! too! high !#the price she never wanted to have to pay which she said at the start of it was too high of a cost was paid anyway and she’s fundamentally#fucking miserable because of it#like visenya is dead luke is dead jace is dead and viserys is missing and likely dead and all she has left is joff and aegon#and like the notion of the opposition to her succession was something she expected at that point. But what hurts the MOST is the way they#went about it. What hurts the most is what happened as a result of the shock she experienced from it#like she miscarried from it and she lost visenya - and the subsequent confrontations afterward led to the losses of her other children and#it’s like ??? they could’ve called a great council - they should’ve called a great council but no one did#what hurts is the fact the excuse is the vows sworn to her were ‘ stale’ and thus the people who turned their backs on them didn’t need to#uphold them so they could go about oathbreaking with their honor in tact when it’s like ? ( to her ) it feels as if she wasn’t even worth#the grace of them being honest with themselves on what they were doing#like it’s ?
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I get paid this week and tbh I've been thinking about getting a switch.
#chit chat#it's kinda stupid cuz there's like one game i want to play on it#but also I've been fucking miserable for the last month and maybe Video Game will cure me#can you get chips or game cds or whatever for switch or do you have to download everything?#I've never done anything nintendo i know nothing except that switch has animal crossing and melody of moominvalley on it
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feeling a little burnt out tbh so I think I'm going to just try and relax as much as humanly possible to avoid crashing and burning like I usually do this time of year lmao
#[static]#work has been ..... Unpleasant#home life is wonderful and amazing as always but man i spend so much time at work fklghfdgf#it's around this time of year where i start to think 'what's the fucking point of working the job i do' and i have an existential crisis#even trying to play games rn is just Too much for my senses. I need to just enjoy silly non-serious things for a week or two I think#been hanging out with friends outside of work which has helped a lot!#i need some whimsy among the constant horrors which I feel bad for needing since it's 100% a privilege to be able to have that#it sucks that work drains my happiness away!! it's really just a couple of people there that make life miserable for everyone#there's nothing anyone can do about it ... alas ... we must continue moving forward because that's all we are able to do#i also feel bad because I started ME3 but I'm going to have to put playing it on hold until I'm in a much better headspace to enjoy it#it's been really amazing so far but it's incredibly intense and sad and i know it's going to eat my heart by the time it's done with me
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kind of obsessed w the way goro got served with a "you don't actually hate akira do you, i saw you smile when you realised he was alive" by the catsona of hope and just had a mental breakdown about it
#hes literally THE character of all time#and look. i am just a loser but i have played p5 something like. five times (including two royal playthroughs) and every time i get#to goro's boss battle i just break down in tears#like he IS my fave character of the game yes but also god. what a miserable way to live. unable to acknowledge that youre so deeply#movitated by the desire to be loved. to have to recognise that you are LYING to yourself and have been doing so for years about#not only that but the fact that youve been powerless this entire time. but that the man you despise AND want to love you has only ever#thought of you as a tool to use. you were fifteen and you NEVER had the upper hand you told yourself you did. he saw a reflection#of your mother and thought nothing of it. and you hate the fact this wonderous other person comes from nothing (just like you) and has#something you dont but you cant even acknowledge what it is youre so fucking jealous of#GODDDDDD GORO AKECHI YOU MAKE ME INSANE#tunes talks persona
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ok i am actually so very angry and there's literally nothing i can do to fix it. life keeps going on. she might even be happy. and fuck dude, i'll make sure im happy too, i was a fully developed person before she was in my life and i'll continue to be one without her. but God Damn, the fact that she can just do something so blatantly awful and unfair to me and then run off without any actual repercussions is just so fucking rankling to me.
like perhaps she feels guilty. she said she did when it was all going down. but it was just something she "needed to do". so obviously she didn't feel guilty enough or she wouldnt have done it like that lmaoooo
i really did deserve to have a good solid yell at her. but unfortunately, by the time i did see her in person i just wanted her out of my fucking life. so. no yelling was done, unfortunately.
#speculation nation#the duality of being a deeply resentful and angry person. and being a person that Tries to be mature and peaceful.#like im not gonna actually Do shit even tho i keep wanting to message her just to yell at her some more again#it's like there's a beast in me that keeps yelling for retribution. she wronged me in such a disrespectful and humiliating way#and yet she just gets to walk away like it was nothing? live her life like it was nothing?#be in 'love' with her new 'soulmate' after cutting me off like a rotten limb?#i feel so DEEPLY angry. i want to spit vitriol and fire. i want to dig my claws into her bones. make her really FEEL how i feel.#i want to wander into her dreams and make her experience what i felt. every miserable second of silence.#the humiliation of admitting you might be falling in love only to be told you were never loved at all.#and i want to knee her in the gut and spit in her face and really make her regret ever fucking wronging me#but unfortunately im a stupid fucking pacifist so all the aggression and anger and violence has no FUCKING outlet#ive been. trying to not think about it too much. ive been trying to just live my life. because i dont want her to run my life.#but the anger keeps catching up to me. filtering in when i dont expect it. endless constant fucking thoughts coming back to me#on and on and on and on i live and i eat and i read and i game and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i hate and i HATE AND I HATE#the greatest injustice is that i cannot make her truly feel every single ounce of my resentment and anger#it's so overwhelming i think i could choke on it. and she gets to live her FUCKING happy little life with her stupid fucking 'soulmate'#i hope it collapses around her and she loses her too so she's single and alone and miserable and regretting all of her fucking impulsivenes#she deserves to have it fail after what she did to me. and all i can really do is hope that karma has its fucking kiss for her.#if only curses were real. what i wouldnt give to put some energy into that karmic payback lmfao.#ok . ok ok ok ok love and peace on planet earth. i am shifting out of vitriolic little shit mode.#just had to let some of the steam out. im still angry but i am going to go back to not thinking about it.#i think i should go on a nice long bike ride tomorrow. to decompress and work some of the steam out.#it's something that she can never take from me. something that is so wholly mine. fuck that stupid bitch and fuck her new girlfriend too#...............................ok NOW im shifting out of vitriolic mode. lol#negative/#WAHOOOOOO i am certainly not taking this breakup well. but i dont think anyone would be lmfao.#all things considered i think im doing a pretty great job at handling this breakup.#bc at least im only recounting unrealistic threats and fantasies on my tumblr dot com instead of messaging Any of this to her.#i may kinda want her to read it so that she knows anyways. but i wont message her directly. bc i am Trying to be at least a little mature.#complaining on my tumblr dot com so i dont message my ex with more vitriol. gotta cope Somehow.
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trying to find a balance between "module that's easy to understand and follow bc i am terrified of DMing and might cry" and "module that's not boring af especcially in the first adventure bc that might be as far as i manage to get through before losing my mind and i at least want my forever DM to have fun as a player for once" is killing me lmao
#apiewofoaiwjefaoijfew#i REALLY do not think she will find the beginning of waterdeep dragon heist compelling unless i make changes but like aoeifja#i'm so overwhelmed by the idea of making changes#i just want something i can follow from start to finish so i can MAYBE learn that DMing isn't as terrifying as i think it is 😭😭#trying to desperately not to talk myself out of this lmao#uuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#she also suggested the lost mines module bc it's meant for newbies but i'm just like OIFJAEOWIFAOWIJEF#she doesn't even really use goblins in her own games she's not going to find this beginning part interesting at all 😭😭#and i'm so nervous about any other modules bc it's just going to be her playing + an npc i'm controlling who is a fighter but like aofeijao#they still might get crushed even if i have her start at like level 3 for a level 1 adventure. i have no idea how any of this works anymore#idk OIFJAOEWIFAE the last time i tried to run stuff it was all homebrew and i was so fucking bad at it#i feel like everything i did made everyone miserable lmao#any time i tried to like just go w the flow it didn't work#esp bc i get so anxious about it aofiejaoijfwe#i am so not cut out for this but my wife literally never gets an opportunity to play and she has DM'd me almost every single day for like#five to six years now faoewijfaoiwjef she deserves a chance to play and has been really sad about not having one in the past#so i have to try at least#*dykeposting
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these edits ruined my life by the way
#and by ruined my life i mean i keep going back to rewatch them every day#which i’ve been doing with my whole collection tbf but THIS HAS ESPECIALLY INFESTED ME WITH DISEASES#yea yea 2014 renaissance have we considered how this is HURTING me smh#‘you better not be thinking about the ‘’overarching themes’’ of five nights at freddy’s to a fucking hunger games song when i get there’#my goofy ass: 🧍♂️🎵#⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
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snow cancelling in-person work for today and tomorrow meant i got a BIG boost in getting ahead on my schoolwork, as well as some important things done for work work that wouldn’t have happened in the office today, which is great, and the weird thing is, i actually feel like everything is fine?? i feel secure????? even as i continue to fill my schedule with plans??????? because i know i can handle it????????????
a strange, but welcome feeling
#my bird walk for the national park is getting scheduled for realsies#which means that my last free weekend of the winter has now been fully demolished with a jackhammer#but it’s OKAY#i’m actually unironically fine with it#because i’ve got a handle on things…#i’m doing really good with school and work - even though there are a lot of challenging aspects to both rn#i’m staying ahead of the game#i’m leaving time for myself#i should have time to finish the book i’ve been reading this weekend#and i’m not miserable????#i’m like. seeing friends and happy and shit?????#thank GOD#fucking finally#now time to hop in the shower and become even happier
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#what a fucking miserable day today has been#dead tired fighting with apt laundry machines all day got nothing else done#found out my job scheduled me two shifts that go til 5pm after I explicitly asked for no shifts past 3#can't buy myself a Little Treat bc it's not in the budget#finally settling in to at least zone out with a game. fucking fire alarm goes off for no reason#sorry in advance to any coworkers toward whom I may Display Symptoms™️ tomorrow :/
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#listen I know this is insane and parasocial and crazy#right?#I’m aware I’m in the wrong here#but#I’ve loved Taylor swift since I was like ten years old#and during her 1989 era she did an interview where she said if calories didn’t count she’d eat chicken tenders#years later she came out and said that during that time in her life she was struggling with ED and was miserable#and was recovering#and has been open about the fact that she’s continued to struggle but is choosing to heal#and she’s been like one of the only public figures to actually talk about ed in a way that actually meant anything to me#and it’s not my business it doesn’t matter ok it doesn’t fucking matter and I wouldn’t say this to her or anyone or w ever#but she was just at a football game eating chicken tenders#and man#it’s not about me it’s not my business and doesn’t effect me in ANY way#but GOD I wanted to cry#bc I feel like sometimes it’s not ever worth it and you never really recover and no matter how hard you try#recovery is unobtainable in any permanent way and you can be clean for days or weeks or months or YEARS#but it never really goes away not really you just kinda have to decide one day that healing is worth more now than how painful#and difficult and humiliating recovering is#and MAN it’s NOT about me and I shouldn’t care about what a billionaire is eating for lunch because it doesn’t effect me#and it’s invasive and parasocial and kinda gross to even know that shit about her#but god idk why her stupid chicken tenders and semingly ranch are making me cry#I hope she loved her chicken tenders I hope they were amazing I hope she didn’t even think twice about eating them#but if she did - because I feel like I always will- I’m glad she chose to get them anyway#it’s so hard to explain bc it feels so stupid lol#fuckin ranch too goddamn lol
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I need this 28 year old to turn off all their electronics and go touch— no maybe even eat— grass already
#imagine being closer to 30 than I am to 25 and being fucking incapable of moving on from a situation#like the horse is dead#its been dead for 4 months now#go OUTSIDE#get a new therapist#its so crazy to me#my friend group has literally been vibing and living our lives#and she is obsessed with trying to make them miserable#and she isnt even succeeding!!! none of them give a shit she is just being pathetic#like girl just MOVE ON#do something productive with ur life#…we do not care… we are busy playing video games and watching shows together#its honestly just so sad
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sometimes i wish i didnt have a sickness of the mind
#sorta venty? ill tag it as vent#i just. ive been so miserable lately for no fuckign reason and it is making me feel physically ill#school is kicking my ass even though i moved into all the easy classes#moving house has been tough but its temporary. i know im going back#but im still so fucking sad and wallowy even though i have good friends and games to play and stuff#i just want to feel normal emotions. is that so much to ask#vent#personal
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HOW did i know my mom was gonna text me today. how did i know. she wants to talk on the phone, just for 10 minutes 🙃 or 15 🙃 or 20 🙃
well, i'll text her back tomorrow. i'm not giving her her fucking fix
#if it was actually important she can text me like a grown up#all she's getting tomorrow is a 'hey! got your text - i was busy last night. was something up? XD'#i'd LOVE to tell her what i've been up to that fills the 'i was busy' but that's not why she's coming calling#and if she hits me with a 'it feels likenyou're Avoiding Me 😭😭😭😭😭😭'#then all i have to say is 'why would you think that? i've been really busy. [insert random innocuous plan i have coming up]'#or '[insert innocuous comment about work]'#it's so telling that she texted me wanting to talk Right Now#when last saturday she texted me an innocent little 'haven't heard from you in a while :)'#i'm done spending energy on her little games#after her visit at the end of august where it was clear as fucking day that she was just there to TAKE regardless of my ability to give#i was miserable for well over a week after bc her visit took energy from me that i needed to get my basic needs met#i didn't get to eat properly that week because Mommy Needed To Feel Special#fucking sick of it#personal#there it's been (almost) 20 minutes sorry the window has passed!!!#i'm gonna go fucking cook dinner now. so i can eat this week. because that's *actually* important
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it more or less seems like square enix doesnt care about console games any more but itd be so nice if one day there was a nier automata remake and that remake included 2b and 9s's history together before the game
#i want missions where we kill nines#or get killed by 2b in his route#i feel like it should have been in the game with how much it impacts 2b#like she was so fucking ready to die with 9s in the factory#the game feels like her turning point where she's finally so tired of her existence as 2e shes ready to die and be done with it#but we don't really get to experience that with her#the only time we see her involved in 9s dying is in the factory where killing him wasnt the goal they just overwhelmed by goliath machines#and the ending of a and b where it also was not the fucking goal#and i know we're supposed to question why 2b is so miserable and says it always ends like this (killing 9s)#but her being an executioner literally just ends up as a footnote when i think it should be a little more prominent#so yea in route C after 9s learns about humanity there should have been a mission to kill him#or at least a flashback to previous times this has happened#nier automata spoilers
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