#This felt like such a Tumblr post for a second I forgot where I was

[ankhegs-in-my-salad]

[kris-mage-fics]

Wintersun

A short Shepherds of Haven fic that takes place on Wintersun. Some vague spoilers for Chapter 4 and Blade's 5th day off in the Alpha build. Also there's a reference to this bit of a fic I haven't finished, but it's not necessary to understand what's going on.

| Ao3 | rated G | 628 words | Blade/Kyrahlise | under the cut for very light spoilers mentioned above |

"Happy Wintersun," Kyrahlise said as she handed Blade a slim package not much larger than her hand. Neither of them acknowledged the momentary brush of their fingertips.

The gift was neatly wrapped in paper she'd painted with winter berries and small swirls of gold. All tied off with a thin green ribbon salvaged from one of her old dresses. The design was overly flashy for his taste, but she had been too focused on making it pretty and was short on time to repaint something more austere.

Blade raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. "You didn't need to," he said, yet she could've sworn his face softened as his eyes traced the designs on the paper.

Kyrah smiled having anticipated he'd say something along those lines. "I'm aware. But I wanted to and thought you might enjoy it."

He looked up from the gift to meet her eyes. "Did you paint this?" Of course he remembered she painted. While in The Reach he'd fussed at her plenty to not paint outside. He trusted her judgment enough to promote her to Captain after a month, yet the cold was somehow too much. He made absolutely no sense.

"Yes," she said in a light tone.

"It's nice." Did Blade's compliment make her feel happy in a way it probably shouldn't? Yes. But she'd take that to her grave before admitting it to anyone.

"Thank you, though I hope you like what's inside more."

Blade's eyes went back to the present he held delicately. She ignored the strange little feeling in her chest when he untied the ribbon and slipped it into a pocket before carefully unfolding the paper. Underneath was a small book of poetry. "You remembered, thank you."

An unusual wave of nerves washed over Kyrahlise. What if he'd read this collection before and hated it? Well, there was no use worrying about it now that the book was in his hands. "Yes, by one of my favorite contemporary poets. Are you familiar with her work?"

"I'm not."

Her smile was tinted with relief. "I hope you find her poetry to your taste."

There was a upward tilt to his lips as he nodded. Kyrah gathered he was thanking her again, but reading his subtle expressions was like cracking a code.

Not that she needed to decipher anything to understand Blade's kindness. He'd always been considerate and respectful towards her. A sharp contrast to how many Norms treated her after she left the Circle. Like when he'd been livid because of what happened in that damned cave, it had filled her with so much warmth. She'd almost forgotten what it was like to have anyone care about her well-being. It was the catalyst for certain feelings towards him being stirred up. Feelings she accepted existed then politely ignored.

Though a recent incident in his room made her question if Blade was really as indifferent to her as he so often appeared.

When Kyrahlise glanced back up at Blade, his eyes were so gentle as they met hers it brought an instinctive smile to her lips. The first time he looked at her like that was when she learned black was the warmest color of all. The way his gaze slowly traced over her face almost felt like a sweet caress that seemed to stop briefly at her lips. But she was likely imagining things again.

A slight frown passed over his face as his free hand twitched, then clenched against his side. He looked at her another moment, gave a hint of a nod and another quick 'thank you' before turning and walking away. When he was out of earshot she sighed. Maybe one day she'd figure out what was really going on inside that inscrutable head of his.

[sheeezu]

(I cropped out the upper part of the screen, it had horny messages from my S/O popping up, for sum reason)

I am losing my mind over this reality- i did permashift, yes. Safe to say I'm no where near that reality, I am in my waiting room.

First of all, i am so disappointed to say, i wished I didn't post the "Farewell" of mine, it just felt like this big social experiment, trust me, you should have just left it to the goodbyes and such and I wouldn't pop out of the grave like a zombie. But this is my blog anyways, I make the rules don't I. (*pss* I don't actually care about my non-committal and zombie-like behavior)

First of all, I am reading all of your comments, even if i like it or not, the reason I posted a pic of my LIFA app was to show that, yes, indeed, I see what's going on with my posts, asks, comments, I have a tab for combined social media for monitoring human behavior (jk)

At one point, a person starts to feel ashamed, they're saying these big words one seconds, and make a graceful exit out the doorway and they whisper under their breaths "phew, I'm glad that's over, never turning back, I ain't."

But I'm not a cowboy in some western film, I am something else (childish, see the LIFA app) I will have my feet inside this reality and the other half of my body in any human's paradise, but you know what bitches, I am still here.

First of all- stop assuming I took my own life, basically behind my back.

I don't need to answer why that's... weird.

Secondly, to a special someone in my comments, please stop assuming I dont know what I'm doing.

Not to brag, but I know what happens after I shift. Stop being the shifting police and trying to make yourself sound smart by using the word "bud" against me. My clone existed, did what life was, forgot about shifting, forgot about my Tumblr and Reddit accounts, I have numerous posts on my blog explaining what's going to happen to me after I permashift.

Your repeated dissection of my post, trying to explain what I could have meant in my post, literally did not help anyone.

Alright, bye.

I am a pest you can't get rid, not even my own self can control what I have become.

[dihydromorphinone]

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 dagger.

y si fuera ella?

— bill cipher x reader, can be read as platonic or romantic it’s up to you tbh, angst with comfort, thanatophobia, bill is kinda out of character but canon bill wouldn’t care like this about anyone so i made my own version 🛐 lol

where you bear your heart out to bill, and he oddly comforts you.

„bill, what happens after i die?”

„it feels the same as before you were born. remember? that wasn’t so bad.”

inspired by „is there an afterlife / what happens after i die / what happens after we die / what happens after you die / what happens when we die / what happens when you die” prompt on the website. comfort fic :3

an: i forgot to post it on tumblr T_T my brother reminded me tho so i’m v grateful hehe this was sitting in my drafts since oct 2024 i’m sooo happy i finally got myself to finish itt

“bill?, he heard a shaky voice calling out to him. your voice. filled with anxiety and some odd sense of uncertainty, which was the opposite to the usual calm tone. he could always feel the emotions coming off your tongue. this was new to him, however; he’d never seen you in a state of distress before.

“hmm?”

"what happens after i die?", you said, turning your back against your companion. you never did that before, he noted quickly and wordlessly.

you felt his gaze on your back. and then, there was silence engulfing the two of you. it lasted maybe minutes, maybe hours, maybe seconds. it's hard to tell time in the mindscape. all you knew was that you did not enjoy the silence at all. bill cipher wasn't the type to stay silent for long, and you knew that; it was probably the reason why you regretted letting any sound leave your lips.

bill was always quick to make any kind of remark. be it something teasing, embarrassing, outrageous; it took him seconds to utter any of the above. that’s why this silence felt wrong. his eye was probably close to burning holes into your back and still, no sound escaped him. this situation didn’t help to ease your mind at all; if anything, maybe the monstrosities that await you after your demise are too complicated to explain? or, perhaps, the bare sight of them so frightening that he doesn’t want to mention it to you?

it's been troubling you for a while; the bare thought of death. you're just a human, just a small, insignificant being in the whole wide universe. you don’t hold much significance, you fear, being just one in a billions. a creature with some brains and some consciousness, but not clever and aware enough to accept and deal with spiritual stuff. your triangular companion introduced you to a magnificent world, broadened your understanding of life but still; it was painful to live without a sense of meaning and understanding what you are really here for. there are so many different species, it’s normal to feel so insignificant, right?

can you find meaning in no meaning? is there any bigger purpose for you or anyone else? you’ve been tormenting yourself with these thoughts for a while now, and if it weren’t for a firm touch on your shoulder and a soft voice reaching your ears, you would be able to stop those nihilistic thoughts from constantly appearing.

“y/n? brat, you there?”, bill asked, gaining your attention back; you faced him again. apparently, he’s been talking to you while you got lost inside your own mind. you two made a vow preventing him from invading your privacy by exploring your cerebrum. he gladly agreed, what surprised you, but apparently he respects you at least to some extent. “you asked a question, i answered. it’s time for you to answer mine, too. we’re playing it fair over here,” he humorously added, though his enthusiasm quickly faded, noticing the lack of your own. there was something definitely going on with you, and he almost regretted agreeing to leave your mind alone. checking what’s wrong by himself would be easier and faster, he thought.

“come again, please? and please repeat your question, too. sorry, i can’t focus on anything lately,” you muttered, making bill whine something quietly; nonetheless, he answered again. “i said, what’s with the sudden question? it’s pretty unlikely for you to ask me about any ‘serious’ stuff,” he said, watching you intensely, intently. as if he tried to find the answer somewhere in your eyes. as if he would plunge it right out of you, so it wouldn’t bother you anymore.

“and the answer? can you say it again, bill? i didn’t mean to ignore you, i swear,” you said, raising his concerns; you’re too desperate for that answer. that fact alone tells him that you’ve been plagued with whatever this… thing was bringing you. “nah, you answer my question first. so?”, he asked, yet again. awaiting your response like his life depended on it, focusing all his attention to you; not like anything else occupied his mind during his moments with you.

“i, um… i haven’t been doing that well recently and i guess it has reflected on my views. i mean, it would be odd to expect anything else,” you chuckle, confusing bill a bit. “there’s just so many humans. so many other creatures exist over there. i can’t help but feel, uh, insignificant?”, and when those words leave your lips, bill wishes nothing more than to show you that none other being can compare to you.

“i’m just a human and they don’t live that long. measly one hundred years at best. and there’s such a giant world over there,” you exhale, and your companion is sure your voice is getting quieter. “and thinking about this made me stumble into the rabbit hole. i don’t have enough time to see everything this universe has to offer, so i started wondering about what awaits me; it’s not, um, unreasonable, you know. i’m just scared of whatever will greet me once i meet my demise,” you summarised.

“so, bill? what’s your answer?”, you said, anxiously; suddenly you feel a bit too aware of the words that just left your figure, but you can’t do anything about that now. what’s done is done, and you can’t turn back time. letting it all out helped you a bit, though; maybe it’s that odd feeling of comfort after sharing something intimate with the closest person.

there’s a moment of silence. you can hear him inhale deeply; not because he really needed that much air, of course not. he’s thinking; should he push you again? there’s no way he’s certain of his words effect on you, and he certainly doesn’t want to make it worse. but he cannot just leave this matter without trying, so he decides to gamble, hoping for the best outcome to happen; hoping that he could bring you the comfort he so desperately wants you to feel.

“ask me once again, now. ask me about the thing that plagues you, and i shall answer,” he said, quietly. his gaze all over your figure; as if he was trying to envelop you with his form. as if that would shield you from your own, prone to self-destruction mind.

“what happens after i die?”, you muttered, quietly, your lips shaking. bill’s eye-expressions changed to the one of pity and comfort. this time, yet again, the silence is all around you, heavy and hard to swallow; but you can see that’s not the uneasy silence anymore. he’s choosing his words carefully. bill is thinking about his answer; he won’t tell you anything close to inaccurate or inexact, no. he will take his time to provide you with the best answer for you. the one you can digest lightly and the one that will ease your concerns.

“it feels the same as before you were born. remember? that wasn’t so bad,” he said, intertwining your fingers with his own. and just like that, the two of you sat beside each other in your mindscape, watching stars blinking, fading and glowing even more. they will all perish one day too, you thought. in the end, the temporariness of it all makes it quite a beautiful, tragic experience.

“…yeah, i guess so,” you said, moving closer to bill, with your mind now at ease. since it’s all gonna end one day and you can’t do anything about it, it’s better to use your one and only chance at life doing something you really want.

“besides, it’s not like i’d let you just pass away and wander in whatever space you’d end up in. you’re staying with me, like it or not!”, bill cheerfully said, brightening the mood with his usual behaviour. well, it’s certainly worth the possible tragedy; allowing yourself to feel happiness that will pass inevitably and facing the uncertainty of yet world beyond your own feels terrifying, but you guess that as long as you have bill, nothing can really frighten you; you’ve got the universe’s biggest menace on your side, after all.

[acealonsowrites]

Subaru Mini Fic

My first official post on Tumblr AHH! So, true to my bio, I am a writer but I've never written fan fiction so please bear with me. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker for about a month or so now and I've had some headcanons and fic ideas just itching at my brain that I can no longer suppress. So I'll stop my yapping and let y'all get on to the story.

Pairing: MC/Reader x Subaru Kagami

Tags: SFW. Slight-ish(?) angst, misunderstanding, Subaru's all-around oblivious. Sorta mean Frostheim gen students. Ends in fluff.

Summary: When Subaru receives a confession letter asking him to meet up in person, all signs point to it being from you. Unsure of his feelings, Haku and Zenji encourage him to go for it, but will you be the one to show up at the Ethereal Spring?

It was another misty day in Hotarubi when you set foot into the all-too-familiar Japanese garden. The rain lightly dusted your face as you made your way to the front steps. You hadn't actually expected to visit Hotarubi today so your umbrella was still tucked away into some forgotten corner of your closet. Upon entering, you were met with a few lingering general students. They took the time to bow and greet you properly before going about their day, most likely on their way to their afternoon classes. You finally caught sight of the vice-captain, Haku, standing in the corridor right in front of what you had come to know as the reception room. His slitted eyes met yours, clearly as surprised to see you as you were to be there. He waved you over, opening the door to the reception room and waiting for you to walk in.

"Ah, MC. I didn't know you were coming over today. Is it another mission or did you just miss me?" He wordlessly handed you a towel, ushering you to sit down and dry yourself. His hands worked fast to prepare tea and sweets for the both of you. You ruffled through your bag, so focused on finding that envelope you missed Haku's question. "So, what brings you to Hotarubi, MC," he tried once more for your attention.

"Oh, sorry," you apologized as you finally felt your hands graze a papery texture far thicker than the other slips of discarded mission assignments and study guides that were scattered along your bag. "Mail delivery!"

Haku stared at the letter in your hands as he set two plates in front of you, one holding your tea and the other Haku's sweet pick of the day which happened to resemble the mochi he had served you on your first day at Hotarubi. "Seriously? They're really making you work hard, huh? I didn't realize that was part of your job as inspector."

"Neither did I," you said as an aside, "but this wasn't a Darkwick assignment. More like a general student pulled me aside to do this for her. I don't remember for sure but I think she was from Frostheim...," you trailed off as you took a bite of the mochi, a slight hint of caramel entering your mouth. "This is delicious, Haku, thank you! Anyways, where's Zenji and Subaru? I was sure my entrance would be accompanied by the sound of a biwa."

Haku leaned his chin on his hand, his elbow propped on the table in front of his own teacup. "Subaru should be somewhere around here, probably in his room, but I've already sent him a message on WickChat to let him know you're here. I'm sure he's rushing to come greet you as we speak. As for Zenji, I haven't seen him in about an hour but I remember him saying something about going to the lake for some inspiration. So, who's the letter for?" He pointed at the blank envelope, now resting near your hand. You paused, wracking your brain for a second.

"Oh! I was in such a rush to get here I forgot to address it. But, if I remember correctly, it's for Subaru."

Just then, Subaru opened the door to the reception room. Unlike your first time in Hotarubi, the captain was wearing his Darkwick uniform. You were pretty sure he must have had morning classes. "Oh good, MC, you're still here. I was afraid I'd miss you." You exchanged bows as he sat across from you next to Haku. After watching him politely accept Haku's offer for tea, you perked up and handed him the letter.

"Here you go, Subaru. This letter's for you."

"Thank you, MC. May I ask who it's from?"

At this, you froze. Your hands idly cradled your teacup before bringing it to your lips. "This is a bit embarrassing but I didn't actually get her name. In my defense, it didn't really seem like she wanted to tell me, but still, I have no excuse, I'm sorry." You bowed your head, feeling a small blush spreading through your cheeks. "I can at least tell you that it was a general student from Frostheim, though."

"Please, don't apologize. I'm sure I can figure out who it's from. Thank you for bringing it to me, MC." The actor's eyes flitted across your face, hesitating before his next words. "I really admire how hard you're working. Not just for Darkwick or us ghouls, but the general students too. I just hope you're taking care of yourself. You really shouldn't be coming to Hotarubi without an umbrella." He pointed to the towel around your neck. Your hair was still noticeably damp from the rain.

You smiled and stood up just as Haku returned with Subaru's tea. Haku gently took the towel from around your neck and started stroking your hair with it, his thumbs lightly massaging your temple. "There, see? She'll be fine." He smiled at his captain, who returned it with a shy gaze of his own, before turning to you. "But he is kinda right, you know? You've got to put yourself first sometimes."

"I know, Haku, thank you." You waited for him to finish rustling your hair until he took back the towel, resting it on his forearm. "I should really get going, though. Please tell Zenji I say hi." With that, you gathered your stuff and moved to leave.

"Wait, please, MC!" You looked back at Subaru as he was rushing to stand up. "Please take my umbrella."

"I appreciate the offer, Subaru, but then I'd have to bring two on my next visit." You rubbed your neck sheepishly, a small grin on your face as you assessed his worry.

"Then you can keep it! Really, I have too many. And I don't want you getting sick with the rain. Please." His velvety eyes stared into yours, a small plea hidden in them. Something inside you told you he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Very well, then. Thank you, Subaru. But I insist on bringing it back to you." He clearly noted your own stubbornness, humming in a hesitant understanding.

"By the way, I'm having lunch with Lyca tomorrow. Would you like to join us? We're planning to order at Sho's and eat at the terrace so you could meet us at the food truck. Or, sorry, of course you can get whatever you want if you feel like getting something at the campus store or the cafeteria and meet us at the terrace instead. Or would you prefer eating elsewhere?"

You decided to cut his rambling short, knowing that it would probably continue otherwise, and smiled at him. "Subaru, it's okay. I'd love to have lunch with you and Lyca. I'll meet you at Sho's."

The brunette gazed at you with wide eyes before smiling back at you, bowing his head. "Thank you." You weren't sure why he was thanking you. And to be completely honest, you didn't think he knew either. Nevertheless you accepted it with a nod and left.

"Well, that was something," Haku said as Subaru reclaimed his seat next to him. The actor sighed wistfully, taking a sip of his tea.

"I hope they get back okay."

Haku sized him up with a playful smirk. "You want to open that letter now? The suspense is killing me."

Subaru looked down to where the envelope sat at the table, taking it into his gloved hands. He carefully slid his thumb under the envelopes seal, opening it without a tear. He looked back up at his vice-captain through his lashes. "Are you just going to watch me read it?"

"Yep, pretty much."

With that, Subaru took the letter out, his eyes scanning the sheet and his cheeks burning more and more with every word he read. Haku assessed Subaru's reaction, the actor shrinking back ever-so-slightly with evident shyness. By the time he was done reading, Subaru was completely avoiding Haku's gaze, his hand coming up to cover his face.

"Oh? Now this is getting interesting. What was in that letter, Subaru?"

"Oh, heavens!" A voice came booming from behind Subaru. "Well, I do say love is in the air! Two hearts blossoming on the branch of destiny!"

Subaru looked over his shoulder just as Zenji had finished reading the letter. The taller man bolstered, prancing about with his hands to his chest.

"Ah, there you are Zenji," Haku said.

"My heart swells with the deepest joy for you, my friend. Now tell me, who is this person whom you've thoroughly ensnared with your charm."

"Well unless it says it in the actual letter, MC said they didn't get the girl's name." Haku took a sip of his tea, enjoying the scene before him as Zenji's eccentricity was beginning to overwhelm an embarrassed Subaru.

"Our dear honor student was here and nobody cared to tell me?! Oh-" Zenji paused in thought, uncharacteristically silent as the other two watched him intently. Suddenly, he raised his hands in the air, his tone impossibly more flowery than before. "I get it now! What better stroke of inspiration than two of your dearest friends falling in love! Subaru, you have my full support in this new courtship with our lovely MC!"

Subaru's cheeks, tinted a graceful pink, began to burn hotter at Zenji's implication. "Excuse me, Zenji, but what do you mean? MC just came to deliver it."

Haku let out a pensive hum. "You know, I didn't even think about that but..."

"Haku, you don't really think that this is from MC, do you?" The actor now cupped his face with both hands, this new possibility running through his mind.

"Would you mind if I read the letter?" With that, Subaru handed the paper over to his vice-captain. Haku skimmed it before looking back at the brunette assuredly. "Just as I thought, no name on the actual note." Subaru nodded as Haku stroked his chin in thought, his eyebrows scrunching above his slitted eyes. "And they want you to meet them tomorrow at the Ethereal Spring for a proper confession..."

"So, do you think it could be MC?" Subaru questioned.

"It's very likely. They could have made up a cover-up story about a general student. Maybe they were too shy to claim ownership over it in front of me. They clearly want to meet you alone tomorrow." Haku watched Subaru avert his eyes once more, a frown shining through a crack between his hands. "How would you feel if it was MC? Or I guess a better question would be: how do you feel about MC?"

The actor's eyes drooped, closing for a second before responding, "I...I don't know."

"Oh poor thing, they'll be heartbroken if you reject them. But I suppose it cannot be helped if you do not feel the same," Zenji spoke up once more.

"Reject?" Subaru looked to Zenji quizzically. That thought hadn't really reached the actor's mind yet as a possibility. Rejecting MC felt almost unthinkable. It left a sour taste in his mouth.

"Well," Haku started, "Zenji's right. If you don't feel the same about MC, you're gonna have to reject them. And I know you can be shy but don't even think about not showing up. I won't let you. Whatever you decide I'll support, but come what may, you'll be going to the Ethereal Spring tomorrow."

Uhhh...yeah that's a fic, I think? One that's definitely NOT proofread, at least. Decided to stop here but I already have what would be a part two in my head so let me know if a part two is wanted? Maybe? Okay bye, love you!

[therealcocoshady]

Kinktober Day 3 - Pet play (Part 2)

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

A/N : here is the second part of the Kinktober Pet Play episode. Unfortunately it is a bit too long for me to upload in a single post because it is over the length Tumblr allows 🙊. I hope you enjoy it 😉.

Part 1 - Part 3

CW : pet play, domination

You looked at him, eyes full of questions. Where was it going ? You thought if was clear from the start that there was nothing sexual in all of this. That it was implicit and didn’t need to be said. Did he think it was about to turn into some kinky situation…? He was your friend and, sure, there was a bit of flirting between the two of you but it had always been that. Flirting. You were a little shocked. But what was even more shocking it that you didn’t find it as bothering as you probably should. Seeing him assert some soft dominance, being able to quiet the noise in your head… it made you see him differently. And the way he had cupped your face and praised you ? It had made you feel something physical. You stared at him silently for a couple of seconds that felt like an eternity, your heart suddenly pounding. He opened the door to his bedroom. It was cozy and luxurious, much like the rest of the house. Next to his bed was a human dog bed similar to the one that was in the movie room. Of course. He didn’t imply-

« That way I can make sure that you actually sleep in this » he explained. You quietly hummed. « But if you’d rather be in the guest room-». You shook your head. You didn’t mind sleeping in the same room as him. There had been occurrences of both of you falling asleep on the couch before, watching a movie, so it wouldn’t be the first time. You went to the en-suite bathroom and changed into your pajamas, a simple pair of pants with a plaid pattern and a plain blue, long-sleeved shirt. You removed the cat ears but kept the collar on. He was smiling when you reappeared in the bedroom. « Are you alright, pet ? » he asked softly. « Yes » you said in a low voice. You sat on the dog bed while he went to get ready for bed, wearing a plain tee and some sweats. You laid down and he tucked you in, making sure you were comfortable. And you were. That weird dog bed was insanely comfortable. Almost better than your own bed. He placed a soft, fuzzy throw over you, making sure it’d keep you warm for the night. You looked at him with eyes full of gratitude. It was quite a change of pace. No banger. No playful insults thrown at each other. Just care, calm and quiet. « Good night, Y/N » he said softly. « You did good. Honestly, I’m… impressed. How are you feeling ? » he asked. You gave him a small smile. « I’m fine. You’re pretty good at this, actually. Caring for people. » you replied earnestly. He gave you a soft smile and a nod that looked like a silent « told you so ». You rested your head on the pillow as he laid in bed and did the same before turning the lights off. « Good night, pet » he almost whispered, as you felt his hand pet your head and gently stroke your scalp. You closed your eyes and focused on the sensation. Maybe allowing someone to care for you wasn’t so bad after all. You allowed yourself to drift off to sleep to the sound of the fall wind outside the window and the soft bell around your neck that tingled with each of you small movements.

You woke up abruptly to a loud noise. The unmistakable sound of thunder that made your heart almost jump out of your chest. You were terrified of storm. Had been since you were a child and your family had a near-fatal car accident in a storm. You’d talked to your therapist about that and, even though she had given you some coping tools, it was still kind of hard. Before you could catch your breath, you heard another startling reverberation that made you gasp. The sound woke Marshall up, and he rubbed his eyes. « It’s just the storm. godfather back to sleep. » he mumbled in a gruff voice. « Sorry. I just- Sorry. » you whispered in a shaky voice. « Ah shit. I forgot you were scared of those. » he said in a softer tone. He turned on the bedside table lamp and looked at you. You had a nervous look on your face. « It’s fine, pet. You’re safe, here. Nothing’s going to happen. » he said reassuringly. However, seconds later, you heard some noise coming from the roof, which did nothing to ease your nerves. « Just a roof tile. It needs fixing. But i promise, it’s all good. I promise. ». His voice was low but soft and soothing. He patted his mattress and gestured for you to come to his bed. He scooted over to give you some room and you sat next to him. He wrapped an arm around you, giving you a reassuring hug and shifting your position do you’d lie down. « You’re fine » he whispered. « M’sorry. I know it’s stupid it’s just- » you began. « Nah, I get it. I mean, you told me. The accident and shit. ». You silently nodded and he held you a little closer. The whole situation felt a little odd. You had agreed to turn into your friend’s pet, ending up in his bed as he reassured you about the storm. That being said, you were grateful. Most stormy nights, you were alone in your house, trying not to have a panic attack. At least, Marshall’s presence was soothing. The noise outside was getting worse and made it hard for you to calm down. « I’ll be back in five minutes, ok ? » he said. You nervously nodded and waited, bringing your knees to your chin. When he came back to the room, he was carrying two cups of instant cocoa. He gave you a smile. He knew you were still a child at heart and that instant cocoa was your comfort beverage. You have him an appreciative smile as you grabbed the cup. The two of you sipped silently as the noise kept on going. « Let’s talk for a bit, alright ? » he suggested in an attempt to redirect your attention. You nodded and said the first thing that went through your mind. A question that had popped up in your brain shortly before going to sleep. « So, uh, have you had lots of pets ? ».

He smiled and took a sip of his cup before answering. « A few. I mean, I had hamsters when I was a kid. We had a poodle at some point, too. And when the girls were growing up we had a bunch of pets. Cats. A couple of dogs, too. They had more at Kim’s house, though. » he explained. You let out a nervous giggle at his confusion. « No, I means pets », you clarified. His eyes opened wider and he let out a small laugh. « Oh. » he said before going silent for a couple of seconds. « No. No pets. Not really. A couple of subs, though. So, there’s a few similarities, you know. ». You stared at him, taken aback. So, him being so good at caring didn’t come from nowhere. « Really ? » you asked in an attempt to make sure he wasn’t joking. « Yeah, he shrugged. Remember Sarah ? ». You nodded. Of course you remembered Sarah. She was his last girlfriend. You had met her on a number of occasions. She was really lovely. They’d been together for about a year and you were kind of shocked when you learned about them breaking up. They were endgame in your opinion. « She was a sub ? » you asked. « Yeah. The girl I was with before was one too. I don’t think you met her though. But… yeah. ». You stared at him intently. So, for as long as you’d known him, he’d been involved in dynamics you had no idea about. « I really thought Sarah was your girlfriend » you said. « She was. But she was mostly my sub. Meaning that I was in charge. » he explained calmly. « Do the others know ? » you asked, referring to your shared group of friends. He shrugged. « Most don’t. I don’t advertise it, you know ? But I don’t hide it either. Denaun knows. And now you too. That’s it. So maybe don’t go yapping about that. » You nodded. Of course you wouldn’t share that with anyone and he knew it. « It’s just the way I work. I mean, you know me. Trust issues and shit. So I can’t be with someone if I- if I can’t be in charge. I need to have boundaries and rules. It’s not even about the sex stuff. That’s just how I feel secure. » he continued as you listened intently. It wasn’t too often that he shared this much. « Sorry I teased you so much. » you quietly apologized. If you had known, you probably wouldn’t have me given him so much shit or have made so many jokes at his expense. « Don’t worry. I mean, whether you call it a girlfriend or a sub… I’ve been single for a while so it doesn’t take anything from the jokes » he chuckled with a grin. You let out a giggle. The conversation was doing a great job at keeping you distracted from the storm. You allowed yourself to ask more questions about the logistics, the kind of rules that went into that kind of dynamic, though you weren’t sure he’d answer. He did, though. « I mean, obviously, I’m not going to tell you too much. But it’s mostly about me taking charge of the relationship. I’m the one setting the rules of how I want them to act, initiating contact and shit. And in turn, I take care of them. The care part is kind of similar to what we did today. Making sure they’re alright. » he explained. Previously, you would have thought these kind of dynamics to be a little twisted but he made it seem like something normal. Just another way people could thrive in relationships. And the way he made you feel today, taking care of you and managing to soothe you, you started to understand why someone might actually enjoy it. As he kept on talking in that calm, low voice of his, you noticed that the storm had actually stopped, replaced by heavy rain on the windows. You finished sipping on your cocoa and placed the mug on the bedside table.

« Are you feeling better ? » he asked calmly. « Yeah. Thanks for helping me. » you replied with a smile. « Anytime » he said before bringing you into a warm hug. You breathed in his scent and, for the first time ever, you did not only find it enjoyable. You found it alluring, as if it were drawing you in. His arms around you made you feel safe and you didn’t really want him to let go. And as if he could read into your mind, he didn’t. He simply nudged you so that you’d lie back down and turned the lights off before pulling the covers over you and letting his arm drape across your body. « Night, pet » he whispered before you both fell asleep.

Marshall woke you up the next morning by gently shaking your shoulder and telling you to come downstairs for breakfast. You let out a yawn and mumbled something before going back to sleep. Next thing you knew, he was yanking your leg and making you fall from the bed. « What the fuck ?! » you asked as you opened your eyes. He was staring at you with a grin, arms crossed. « I’m in charge until 8PM and I told you to wake up » he simply said. « Couldn’t you have been more… I don’t know, gentle ? » you sighed. « I was gentle the first time wasn’t I ? Now get your ass downstairs. Unless you want to find out what’s coming if you don’t » he said firmly. You hummed and made your way downstairs. That was quite the change of pace. He had made breakfast for you and was setting the table. You immediately went to him and offered to help but he stopped you. « Sit. » he calmly ordered. You obliged and, as soon as you were seated, he followed with another order. « Stay. ». You were about to clap back at him for ordering you as one does a pet but obviously, that was the purpose of the whole thing. He placed a plate in front of you and gently patted the top of your head. « Good girl. That wasn’t so hard, now, was it ? ». You stared at him. He seemed more energetic, with things in mind. The night before had been all about winding down but this felt like more of a training. Right when you thought you could manage and that letting someone take charge was easy, you seemed to be proven wrong. « So, we eat and then, basketball court. » he informed you. « Basketball court ? » you asked. « First of all, talking rule still in place. Second of all, yeah. Pets like catching balls, don’t they ? » he retorted. You ate your breakfast and then, for the following two hours, he mistreated you on the basketball court. The word was a little strong but you weren’t exactly the sporty type and he knew it. Ever since you’d known him, he had always been into exercising, spending a couple hours a day in the gym, weight training, boxing or playing basketball. He kept on pushing you, telling you to catch his rebounds or whatever but, after two hours, you started to grow tired. « focus a little, pet. You’re barely moving, here. » he scolded. You caught the ball and dropped it « I want it to stop » you groaned. His posture immediately shifted and he walked to you with his eyebrows furrowed. « You want what to stop ? » he asked carefully. « I don’t know ! This ! We’ve been playing ball for at least four hours. I think I sprained my ankle but I couldn’t tell you because I’m not allowed to speak. The bell on that collar is making a bothering noise and I can’t focus and those stupid clip-on ears are hurting my scalp. » you complained. He nodded and waited a second after you were done talking. « Anything else ? » he asked in his ever so calm voice. « Yeah. Why are you like this ? » you asked in frustration. He let out a chuckle and place a hand on your shoulder. « Because that’s what we agreed on » he said with a smile. « You were nicer yesterday », you pointed out. « Because I wanted you to get there progressively. Look- I’m sorry I was a little hard on you. You still did pretty well. How about you go take a bath, relax for a bit and we eat lunch ? » he asked softly. You nodded and he gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before accompanying you to the bathroom where he drew a bath for you. He gave you a small hug before leaving the room.

You got undressed and enjoyed the warm water for a while. You weren’t sure you enjoyed the whole thing. You had liked the whole assertive thing, the light dominance, the cuddles. But you weren’t quite sure what you thought about him being strict and enforcing rules. At the same time, you didn’t want to quit. First of all because you didn’t want to give away your Lego set and you really wanted to read his comic book. Also, you did like that he had managed to make the noise in your head go quiet, the night before. You stayed on the bath for a long time, enjoying the soothing warmth all over your sore muscles. When you finally got downstairs, Marshall was waiting for you, quietly lounging in front of the TV. « Feeling better ? » he asked with a soft voice. You nodded and he gestured for you to come sit next to him. « Let’s have a look at that ankle. » he said as he gestured for you to give him your foot. You quietly stared at each other, you crossing your arms. « Your ankle, pet. » he repeated. « I’m not showing you my feet. Not when I know you’re into freaky stuff. » you said with a raised eyebrow, leading him to chortle. « First of all, I’m not into ‘freaky stuff’. Second of all, I’m not into foot stuff either. Third of all, it’s my job to care for you if you’re hurt. Now, show me your ankle. » he said with a smile. You obliged and he had a look at it before getting some first aid kit and applying some soothing cream on it. « I think you’ll live. Also, you should have told me. We talked about it before. » he quietly scolded. You nodded with an annoyed look, fully knowing that he was right. « If there’s anything you’re not ok with, it’s important that you say it, ok ? » he continued. « Yes » you agreed and he cupped your face with a smile. « I’m sorry I pushed too far. I didn’t realize it was too abrupt. » he apologized. « no, it’s me, I- I really want to do good you know ? » you said earnestly. It was true. There was the bet, of course, but the unexpected serenity you’d felt the night before made you want to give it an actual try. He seemed to understand, as he gave you a smile and a nod. « Don’t worry. Not gonna lie : you’re doing much better than expected. I thought you’d be your usual chaotic self but you’re doing great, pet. You might actually get to read that comic book. » he said, which made you smile from ear to ear. « Now, lunch, and them I’m putting you to work. », he added with an enigmatic grin.

[deathbxnny]

Hi, this is my first time active on tumblr community, English is not my native language, so please forgive me for spelling mistakes <3

I have an idea for s/o Mitsuri (kny) with Blade, Jing Yuan, Dan Heng and Luocha please. who were dying in their arms and praying for another world, when they were reborn, and were turned into ordinary people with an ordinary past. Before I die, I want the reader to ask: "If we were to be reborn in a more beautiful world where there is no pain and loss, would you be my bride?". I am really looking forward to the reactions of the characters in hsr. Hope this angst idea is good enough-

Pray for you when you go, someone often remembers. When you return when someone is waiting. Pray for you to become the best memories in the world. Wishing you a life filled with love and happiness. I really appreciate you for the quality articles <3 Take care of yourself and I love you so much. Sorry for writing so long. (Sorry for the second post, I realized I forgot to add the character's name, so sorry =( )

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A/N: I know exactly what scene you are referring to here and I'll never recover from it tbh... Also thank you so much for your kind words and for the request! I hope this is okay!<33

Content: Potential Spoilers for kny! (?), Reader dies, hurt/no comfort (kinda), established relationships, angst, mentions of fatal injury, just pain

Reader has no set pronouns! (Though they do refer to themselves as a "Bride" per the request, but that's not outright mentioned here.)

((Not fully proofread))

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》Jing Yuan

Jing Yuan's usual calm and playful facade drops instantly, when he has your bloody and near lifeless form laying in his arms. He holds you close, knowing that your end is near and that there is nothing he can do now. He tries to still appear so calm and collected like he always is, but it's hard, when the love of his life is dying.

And it becomes even harder, when he hears you utter those heartbreaking words, as you look up at him with pleading, weak eyes. He can't bring himself to speak at first, mainly because he wants to believe that there is still some hope left in saving you. But he is no fool. He knows, that you are doomed.

And so he nods, promising you that he will, his arms holding onto you tighter, when the last breath escaped your lungs and you smile in satisfaction at him, already looking forward to seeing him again.

"Ofcourse, my love... I'll wait eons for your return, if I have to."

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》Blade

He nearly loses his composure at the sight of you, the blinding rage of the loss he felt in his heart making him nearly dip completely into insanity. Yet he keeps it at bay for a moment, just to hold you in his arms. He's trembling and for once in a very long time, he feels afraid and lost.

Your words make his already broken soul break even harder, burn up into fine ash, until it gets blown away by the wind and leaves a gaping hole in his existence behind. He can't process them at first, wanting to be stubborn even in the face of your inevitable doom. He doesn't want to show, how much this weakened him, just to spite the grim reaper himself.

And yet, it all fails, when he just let's out a pitiful, broken sigh and agrees in pained defeat, just to give you your peace. You smile at him, as the last of your life fades out, your eyes looking right through him. Only then, does he allow himself to break completely.

"Very well... but don't keep me waiting for long... I beg of you."

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》Dan Heng

Dan Heng didn't know, how you two got to this point. It shouldn't have happened. He should've protected you. And yet, you protected him from the attack. You were bleeding out, your life draining from you faster than he could stop it. Once more, a person he loved dearly was slipping through his fingers and there was nothing he could do.

He felt like a failure, like all of this was his fault. He should've died instead. Not you. And that thought gets only solidified by your heartbreaking, hopeful words. You didn't deserve this fate. You deserved someone much better than him.

And yet, he selfishly agrees to your final wish to bring you satisfaction. Your smile made it worth it, the relief in your eyes before they were drained of their beautiful spark and dulled making all the heartache disappear for only just a moment. Left behind was the emptiness Dan Heng felt, as all he could do was stare down at you in defeat, his heart broken once more. And for good, this time.

"For you, I will do anything, my love. So I'll see you then..."

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》Luocha

Luocha didn't want to believe, that it was over. That there was nothing he could do for you. He tried everything he could. He was a doctor, surely he could save you from this simple injury, right? But it was no use. You knew it. He knew it. And yet, he still denied it to the bitter end, until you gently grabbed ahold of his arm and just shook your head. A signal, that it was truly over.

And for once, he breaks down, holding you close, begging you not to disappear and yet all you could do was chuckle and utter your last wish for him. It was a promise, that eventually, you'd return to him. You'd find eachother in the next life, you were sure of it.

He was reluctant, still so stubborn and heartbroken to accept your doom, until he did. His soul died with you, when you took your last breath, he swore it. And he blamed himself, for not being able to save you, when he surely should've been able to.

"I'll find you in the in next life and the one after that one too, my dear... I promise you that."

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A/N: I hope this was alright! It was honestly heartbreaking to write... also thank you for the request!<33

[avxlyse]

A/N: Hi guys! I’m fairly new to fic writing and brand new to tumblr (in a sense, I’ve been ON Tumblr since like 2016 but I’ve never really posted), so I’m not really sure what I’m doing tbh. I’ve been writing for awhile but I’ve never really posted anything, so let’s just see how this goes! PS Constructive criticism is welcome! I'd love some tips :)

Han Solo x Reader

Prompt: “Do I have to spell it out for you? I’m in love with you!” + Kissing to hide from someone

The funny thing is, you were probably the best pilot in the rebellion before Han. And you absolutely resented him for it. There were few things you hated more than someone upstaging you, but there was nothing you hated more than them being smug about it. And Han Solo without smug is like Hoth without winter, impossible. So when you found yourself crammed nose to nose in a maintenance closet staring back into that smug, shit eating grin, you came to the conclusion that if you made it out of here alive the first thing you were going to do was rip the wires out of that cocky assholes prize winning ship and shove them down his throat.

The morning was typical, breakfast in the Cafeteria and some training in the Gym, then straight to the meeting that was scheduled for that afternoon. Unfortunately, you never actually made it to that meeting, because half way through your training session the emergency alarm went off. You dropped your practice weapon and turned to run towards the center of the base.

“Damnit!”

You forgot to take off the resistance band tied around your ankle and ate shit on the training room floor. A mocking laugh echoed through the room as you felt firm hands grasp your wrists and pull you up.

“You should really be more careful, we wouldn’t want you to do any damage to that pretty face of yours now would we?”

Han grinned, sarcasm dripping from his tone. You groaned in frustration, face flushing from a wounded ego.

“If you haven’t noticed we’re in a bit of an emergency, so if you could be a little more helpful and untie my leg so that we can make it to the meeting before The Galactic Empire blows up our base that would be great.”

“As you wish, Princess”

He leaned down to pull the band off of your thigh, lingering a beat too long in his particularly flirtatious manner. You shoved ahead of him, tactlessly hiding your blush. You know it meant nothing to him, but that didn't mean it didn't drive you nuts. You just didn't operate like Han. He was so casual. Sometimes it seemed like he couldn't help but charm anyone that walks by, just to prove he could. You're pretty sure he would flirt with a coffee pot if it was wearing mascara, while you, on the other hand, had barely managed to seduce half a dozen people in your lifetime. It was for this reason that Hans nature was so irritating to you. When he first moved to this base, you had assumed he was making a pass at you. It's just that no one had ever been so bold about it. At least not with you, the plain looking girl from Batuu who's hottest feature, in the literal sense, was her perpetually flushed cheeks and sweaty palms. It had barely been a week before you fell hard, giggling like a child every time he made one of his frisky remarks. Bless Leia's heart for being the only person kind enough to burst your bubble. After what must have been a few too many puppy eyed stares, she pulled you aside to tell you Hans' deal. That he was an egotistical bastard who got a kick out of making people fall in love with him just to see if he could. You crashed back down to Earth pretty swiftly after that, and had now spent the better part of a year rolling your eyes every time he entered a room. Now you're stuck being second best to the man who stole your heart and your rank.

By the time you both reached the meeting room, the alarm had stopped and Leia was the only person left there.

“Y/N, Han! There you are. Where were you two?”

“Long story, what’s up?”

“ok...”

Leia raised her eyebrow suspiciously before continuing 

“There’s a Galactic Empire ship flying in our atmosphere. We’re not sure if they got a tip off about our base or if they’re doing a routine scan of the planet, but either way we can’t risk allowing them to continue. We only have one stolen TIE Fighter at this base, which means the rest of the crew will be working from land to shield the base and prepare for battle in case we’re spotted-“

“Great, where do you need me?” You interjected.

“I was actually hoping you and Han could fly the TIE fighter...”

“Oh?” You questioned, a bit shocked.

She eyed you with a sympathetic look, the two of you still close enough for her to be well aware of how you feel about Han.

“I don't need to tell either of you that you're the best pilots we have on site, and we need this mission to succeed. We can’t risk sending anything but our best, I’m counting on you two to destroy the ship by sabotaging the main engine.”

“Just tell me where to fire and that ship’ll be out of the sky before it can get within 100 miles of our base.” Han said, rearing for battle.

“Not so fast”

Leia sighed, clearly not willing to deal with Hans' rash nature at this exact moment. 

“There’s a reason I’m squeezing Y/N into a single-pilot TIE with you, Han. You need someone who actually thinks rationally, this is too much of a risky situation for you to just go in there and fire at will like you usually would. You need to be calculated and precise, which is why you’ll both be undercover.”

“Hey! I’m calculated and precise...” Han frowned.

You gritted your teeth and turned back to Leia.

“Where’s the engine?”

“It’s on the north end of the ship, right next to the escape pod, you can’t miss it. A few hits should do the trick, especially since we’re using a stolen Empire ship with stronger blasters. By the time they realize you two are there they’ll already be toast. Here are your Uniforms, just in case anything goes south and you have to come face to face with Galactic Empire soldiers.”

You nod and take the uniform out of Leia’s hand, two Stormtrooper suits probably taken off of the soldiers from the stolen TIE fighter.

“Be careful, they’ll be on high alert if a ship just flies at top speed towards their engines. Don’t be suspicious.”

Han scoffed,

“Yeah, great advice ‘Don’t be suspicious’. And how are we supposed to do that? A random TIE fighter that’s probably already been reported as stolen flying up to the ship during what seems like a routine check? How are we going to be sure they don’t stop us immediately and blow us out of the sky?”

Leia took a deep, patient breath,

“You really have no faith in me, do you. We’ve been monitoring the ship and can see that there are TIE fighters flying in and out. Just follow the path that the rest of them are taking to avoid standing out. We know the ship hasn’t been reported as stolen because when it crashed the pilot died, so there was no one to alert them when we recovered it. We don’t have much time, I just need you to trust me. Put on the uniforms, fly in if you have to, but fly out and destroy the engine. It’s our only chance.”

A grim look passed over your face, this mission was risky, and you knew if she was going to put the two of you together it really was her only option. Things could very easily go south and if worse comes to worse her best pilots would have the closest shot at getting out of there alive. You turned to Han and realized he must’ve gotten the message, because for once in his life he didn't have anything witty to say back. He just nodded and went to change into the stolen uniform

You turned back to Leia and took a deep breath before wrapping your arms around her. She returned the hug before pulling back and putting her hands on your shoulders.

“Just, please make it back, ok?”

You smiled “I will. I might leave Han on the ship though, he’s already starting to get on my nerves.”

Leia laughed “As much as he’s a pain in our asses, he’s one of our best. Try to keep him in line for me, you know how he gets...”

You chuckled, “Yeah, I will. See you later, okay?”

“Yeah, see you later.”

You walked off to go change before meeting Han at the ship.

...

By the time you squeezed into the stolen uniform Han was already in the pilot seat of the TIE. You truly wish you had the energy to argue about it, but there wasn't enough time to be petty. He was a better pilot, plain and simple, and your pride wouldn't change that. You also wouldn't change anything by slamming on a non-existent brake pedal as he took off with an all too aggressive jolt, but that certainly didn't stop the instinct.

"Can you slow down?" You snapped, tension seeping into your shoulders. "We're supposed to be blending in, and your narcissistic flying style gives you away to literally anyone who has ever seen you pilot."

"'Narcissistic flying style'?" Han scoffs "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know, shut up." You blushed, doing your best to avoid his gaze.

"You've got to get better at that, you know"

"At what?"

"Being mean. It doesn't suit you"

"Unless you want to figure out how well my foot suits your ass, I suggest you just shut up and fly"

He lets out a warm chuckle, laughing through his response -

"See what I mean? It just sounds weird coming out of your mouth. It's like a youngling swearing for the first time. To much bite, it's not natural yet"

"Well if you're so sure it's unnatural to me maybe I should take notes from you, you seem to have no problem being an asshole."

This one came out with a real bite, he's pissed you off now.

"And what does it matter? Maybe it's not natural to me because you're the only person who makes me feel like saying rude shit. Now what does come natural to me is flying, and maybe if you weren't so focused on how things sounded coming out of my mouth you'd have noticed the TIEs flying on either side of us."

"Oh shit!" He exclaimed, caught off guard for once.

"We're going to have to land on the ship."

"what? why?"

"We don't have access to their channels of communication and we're going to have to explain what the hell we're doing flying off Crait. If we start flying towards the reactor now they'll just gun us down. We can pretend to be the soldiers that crashed on this ship, explain that we were only missing because the engine failed and we needed time to repair it. The communicator broke in the crash, and that's why we haven't called for help, got it?"

"Got it, captain" He said, with an impressed lilt in his voice.

You smiled, tallying this as a win against him. If it was impressive to him that someone could come up with a plan that wasn’t whatever made the most explosions, then so be it. He’d just better be prepared to be impressed for the next few hours.

As Han flew the TIE into the landing bay, it became increasingly clear that this was going to take more convincing on your part than you were prepared for. The two TIEs guarding either side of you followed you into the port, and a group of high ranking soldiers began to gather where your ship was landing. You shot Han a concerned glance before remembering it was useless through your helmet. He seemed to get the message anyways, giving you a short nod in response. You just hoped that meant he was taking this as seriously as you were and wasn't planning on doing anything rash. 

The both of you slowly stepped out of the TIE, unsure of what the soldiers around you were planning. You tensed as a burly looking man approached, eyeing the both of you suspiciously-

“CF-0065, TZ-1764. It’s been quite some time since we’ve heard from you. Your vessels had been reported missing and it was our assumption that you had crashed or been captured. Explain what has kept you from reporting to your posts immediately.” 

He snapped, authority evident in his voice. You decided to cut in before Han could say something stupid-

“Yes, sir. Our vessels crashed on Crait, and we have spent the time in between now and then repairing the engine of the more salvageable ship. We were able to get it functioning yesterday, and we're working on getting the communication systems functioning next. We spotted your ship flying over and hoped to explain ourselves and have aid in fully repairing the TIE.”

“Ah, yes, well I’m glad you were able to recover your vessel and return to work. We could use the extras hands on board.”

“What exactly is the mission of this vessel?” Han chimed in. “We’d like to help in whatever way best suits our skills.” He added, nonchalantly.

The man, who you had now gathered to be the chief officer, began to walk. The two of you followed, doing your best impression of the mindless soldiers surrounding you.

“Well, we were sent to a maintenance level scan of this star system, but have since detected some suspicious activity on this planet in particular.”

 Your shoulders immediately tensed, and you shot a sideways glance at Han. 

“We would like to get a more comprehensive idea of the situation before moving forward, so as of now we have not reported anything to the other fleets in the area. We’d prefer not to alert the planet of our suspicions yet, and give them the least time to prepare if we decide to strike.”

You silently thanked the stars that they haven’t allerted anyone else of their suspicions. You know Han did too, it’s going to make what you have to do here a whole lot easier without an entire fleet against you.

"Well, we’re both especially skilled in repair and maintenance,” Han jutted in, “so if you could point us towards the engine room we would be happy to make sure everything is working in order while you further investigate the planet.”

It was a risky move, and the general eyed you suspiciously.

“The both of us were able to repair a damaged TIE fighter engine with nothing but the materials we were able to trade for on Crait, if you have any issues we’d be happy to help.” You added, hoping it would convince him.

“Actually,” he conceded, “I have been concerned about the operation system in one of  our navigation ports. We’ve been having quite a few rough takeoffs recently. I was going to wait until we landed to get it looked at, but since the two of you clearly possess enough skill to repair that TIE I’d rather you just take a look at it now.” 

He led the two of you down a series of long, winding hallways, which you did your best to memorize if a quick escape became necessary. The room he brought you to was a small one, with about a hundred buttons you barely recognized. You may be an experienced pilot, but Empire technology was something else entirely. You just hoped the general wasn’t planning on staying, or you and Han would have to put on a pretty convincing performance.

“So,” Han coughed, “what seems to be the matter?”

“Well since you two are such experienced mechanics, shouldn't you be the ones telling me?” The general questioned suspiciously.

“Of course, Sir,” You turned, praying to god that you could make some sense of this mess in time to keep your cover. “It looks like-”

A loud thud echoed behind you and you whipped around to see Han standing over the unconscious general. He just shrugged, turning to replace the wrench he pried off the wall to club him with.

“Han!” You whisper-shouted, trying not to alert more people than he probably just did by being his typical, impulsive self.

“What? He replied, “He was totally on to us and It was more trouble than it's worth to try and convince him we know anything about Empire tech.”

“Right, so you decided braining him with a wrench was the next best option?”

“We don’t have time for this, Y/N. At this point we’re going to have to sabotage the reactor from the inside, which might take more effort than we anticipated.”

“And what are we supposed to do with him?” You both eyed the unconscious general, and Han shifted his gaze to a utility closet in the corner.

A few good thunks with the wrench for extra measure later, the both of you began to fold, shove, and contort the general into a crate in the navigation room closet. You had taken your helmets off, sweating uncomfortably with the effort it took to lift the fairly bulky man across the room. You wiped your forehead, staring at the now properly concealed general, and shot a concerned glance at Han, 

“How long do you think it’ll take before they notice he’s gone?” 

“I think we’ve got some time,” He said, reaching for his helmet.

It was at that moment that the doorknob began to jiggle, and in a blur of movement Han had you up against the wall with his lips on yours. It didn’t even register at first, shock and adrenaline coursing through your veins hard enough to freeze you completely.You weren’t exactly sure what the rules were in The Galactic Empire about soldiers kissing, but you had a feeling the punishment for being caught would be less severe than killing a high ranking general. Plus, this was probably the easiest way to hide both of your helmetless faces, yours may not be recognizable, but his certainly is. It took a second before you began to kiss him back, but by the time you let yourself reciprocate, you heard the door click shut and Han pulled away. You kicked yourself and your neurotic brain for running through all of the possible plans of action before you even got the chance to soak it in. You’d dreamed of this so many times, and in so many ways, and the one time it’ll probably ever happen you let it get away from you. As you looked back up at Han, he was stuck with the same searching look you couldn’t wipe off your face. You stared back at him for a second, trying to gauge his reaction.

Han butted in, cutting right through your thoughts. “Maybe we should do that again. You know, just in case they come back.” He said, dazed.

“Yeah…” You muttered, “Yeah that might be best.”

His lips crashed back into yours, and you kissed him with a renewed sense of purpose. Han kissed with a passion you had never felt before. With everyone else it had been awkward and fumbling, but the two of you seemed to fit together so naturally. You took a metal note of every part of him, from the rough feeling of his lips to the bold flick of his tongue. You tried to memorize everything you loved about this, because you knew it was never going to happen again. You’re sure you were going to torture yourself with this moment forever, so you might as well remember it as clearly as possible. The way his hands grazed your waist, not grabbing, but just hovering above your hips with a feather-like touch as if he was afraid you were going to burn him. How his adams apple bobbed when you kissed his neck, swallowing hard out of desperation. The way his hands felt in your hair, not tugging, but carding through it with a sort of reverence. He pulled away too soon, tearing you out of your blissful analysis of his body and back into the present tense. 

“We can’t keep doing that,” He said, panting.

“Yeah, I think we’re in the clear and we need to find the reactor” You replied, trying your best to hide how it stung and moving towards your helmet.

“No.” Han put both his hands on your shoulder, holding you in place, “No, we can’t keep doing that because if we do I will want to do it again.”

“What?” You paused, shocked.

“You know what I mean, Y/N, don’t make me say it out loud.”

You stared back at him blankly, truly at a loss for words.

“Jesus Y/N, Do I have to spell it out for you? I’m in love with you!”

“What?” Seemed to be the only word your brain could muster in this moment. You felt as though your whole world view was crashing around you, as though the very ground beneath you was shaking… On second thought, the ground might actually be shaking, because judging by Hans face you weren't the only one feeling the rumbling beneath you.

“We’ll deal with this later.” He shot you a look before grabbing his helmet and running out the door, following quickly after to discover what was the matter. 

It became clear as you walked that the ship was preparing for takeoff, but you weren’t sure why. Your nerves were on fire, and you know you’ve wasted too much time to get it wrong now.

“That general sure wasn’t kidding when he said their takeoffs were rough. We need to get to the reactor before they can get the ship up and running or we’re screwed.” Han said, eyeing you nervously.

“Do you think if we go back to the landing bay we can tell them we have orders to go back to Crait and investigate some of the suspicious activity we saw on-world? If we take a nicer ship than the TIE we came in we won't have to worry about the blasters not being strong enough to take down the ship.” You replied, already in go-mode.

“Sounds like a great plan,” Han said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “except how the hell are we supposed to find our way back to the landing bay with no map of the ship?”

“Just trust me.” You said, grabbing his arm and leading him down the hall. Your freakish memory is good for more than memorizing Hans lips, and you were able to bring the two of you back exactly the way you came. You strode up to the nearest pilot you could find, and with the confidence of somebody who has no other choice, demands he give the two of you access to an ST-70 Assault Ship. 

“For what purpose?” He responds, taken aback by your assertiveness.

“We are the two soldiers who we’re just recovered from Crait, and were ordered back down there to investigate suspicious activity on the planet. We don’t have time for this, just give us the vessel.” Han repeated what you had planned to the pilot, striding towards the ST-70. 

“I haven’t been told of such an order, the two of you are going to need to wait until I receive the command from higher up to authorize use of this vessel.” The pilot replies sharply.

“We’ve already been held up by engine maintenance,” You added, not exactly sure where this was going but hoping you found something convincing to say in the midst of your rambling, “and spent much of that time relaying to a general on this ship the reason for our brief disappearance. We are part of a high clearance mission to uncover rebel activity on the planet Crait, and are close to infiltrating one of the largest branches of their military. We came here to dismiss your vessel, as we were worried your presence would alert the Rebel Alliance of our presence on the planet.”

Han joined in, stepping up to the unarmed pilot with his intimidating stature. 

“If you don’t hand over this vessel, the failure of a months-long plan to eliminate one of the largest branches of the Rebel Alliance will be on your head. Whatever you think we might do with this ship that is ‘unauthorized’ cannot possibly have consequences as dire for you as that will.” Han rolled his shoulders back, taking one more menacing step forward.

The pilot stepped aside, granting you and Han access to the ST-70. If the two of you make it out of here, you would have to be permanently assigned as partners for missions like these. You have never felt more invigorated or on your game than when you were with Han, the idea of the word ‘partners in crime’ finally settling in your skin. You weren’t out of the woods yet though, and as Han began to start the ships engines, a very rumpled looking general marched into the landing bay.

“Shit!” You exclaimed. “Go, Han, Go, go, go go GO!”

“I hear you Y/N!” Han shouted back, kicking the ship into overdrive and jolting you violently into space.

 You got a few feet out from the ship before three TIE fighters started tailing you, and Han took a sharp left before nose-diving under the belly of the ship. You whipped around to the laser cannons, doing you best to aim as Han whipped the ship around to try and find the main engine. Just as you took one TIE out, two more appeared.

“Do you have eyes on the engine Han?” You shouted, limbs tingling as you shot down two more TIE fighters.

“Got it!” He yelled back, and you swiveled to face the ship's surface as he flew at top speed towards the engine.

You began to count down, preparing Han to nose dive the second you blasted this thing out of the sky.

“Three… two.. One!” You fired directly at the engine, and your stomach did somersaults as Han dodged the blast.  

“Yes!” He screamed, and you laughed with manic joy as you felt relief wash over you. 

The TIE fighters following you weren’t prepared to dodge the blast, and the two of you watched joyfully as they went down with the ship. You barreled towards Crait, with more than just a successful mission to show for it. The two of you had just destroyed a high ranking Empire ship, and come back with an ST-70 Razor Crest M-11 ship as your bounty. Han landed the ship and ripped off his helmet, smiling from ear to ear. The excitement was electric, making its way through every limb and out your fingers to charge the atmosphere around you. You turned to Han and before you knew it you were crashing your lips into his, desperate for an outlet. He kissed you back with double the vigor of the last time, and seemed to be determined to explore every inch of you. Your mouth, your waist, your hair, your thighs, he groped and fumbled at all of you as you pushed back with just as much energy. Kissing Han felt like, for lack of better word, winning. Winning your first race as a newly vetted pilot, winning a mission against the empire, winning the man you thought wanted nothing to do with you and you thought you wanted nothing to do with. You laughed into the kiss as he bit your lip, giddy with an amount of energy you didn’t know how to control. 

“What?” He said, sporting that smug grin you always wanted to slap off of his face.

“Nothing,” you replied, deciding firmly that kissing it off was the better option. “I’ve just been so in love with you forever and can’t believe this is happening.”

FIN.

[joonsty]

Hybrid Au :

BunnyJungkook X Human Reader 🐰

Warnings : extreme possesive and obsessive behavior, smut, slight yandere themes? explicit sexual content; oral, fingering, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial/control, choking, unprotected sex, shower sex, creampie, marking/hickeys, rough, pet names, piss kink, rough manhandling? i guess bunny boy is stronger than reader. mentions of alcohol, pills, plot twist at the end, hint of soft/kook, I’m so fucking shite at recognising what bunnies do when they are angry or whatever so…I’m sorry. 🤍 uhm I feel like there’s more but I suppose I’ll remember later!

this is my first post on tumblr, so i guess im a bit nervous? I hope you like it!! requests are open, so feel free to send in suggestions & ideas! °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

your keys rattled in the little doorlock, failing multiple times on opening the door. “fuck“ you sighed out as you dropped your keys on the floor. If i were to describe you, i would say you were drunk, sticky & a hot mess, but most importantly totally fucked. It was times like these, where you were drunk, that you would forget the rules and the people around you. He tried his hardest, drilling the words into your mind, making your dumb stupid brain memorize it by heart. But even then, you forgot the most important rule.

never ever leave your bunny boy alone.

so yeah, in simple words, you were fucked. you didn't know about the evil that sat in your house, glaring at the four walls in so much anger and pain. If only you listened, if only you paid more attention to your bunny boy than you did to your friends. who even cared about your friends? he could kill them in a heartbeat. sure, it’ll hurt you, but the sweet pain he would see on your face, your warm tears dribbling down your cheeks, it would be worth it.

so welcome back to the present, you grabbed your right hand, and steadily plopped the key into the lock, twisting it in success. “finally” you groaned out. your feet was sore and burning. you needed a shit ton of pain relievers and a warm shower to make you feel better tonight, maybe even a cuddle from your favourite boy. but oh god, how everything was going to go down the drain.

you sluggishly walked into your apartment and halted, eyes immediately locking with the hothead in-front of you. “g-gukkiieeee” you slurred as you ran to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and breathing in his musky scent. oh god, he felt so nice, you thought as you pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

before you could even comprehend what happened, he pushed you off him, making you stumble back a bit. “hey what are you-?” “don’t fucking touch me.” he growled. his fluffy bunny ears standing up straight, and you even noticed how big? he almost seemed. he turned his back to you and walked away to your shared bedroom, leaving you in the main room, confused and dizzy.

“oh fuck it” you thought, as you walked yourself in the bedroom as well. to be honest, you’ve had enough with jungkooks behaviour. his constant fear of him losing you to someone else, or how he made you drop and block all your male friends because, “I trust you baby, it’s them I don’t trust” & all that bullshit.

as you walked in, you saw him sitting on the bed, earphones plugged in, blasting his music on the full. he didn’t even spare you a glance. you really hated when he was angry. but then again, it was kind of like this all the time. you shimmied out of your dress, grabbing his tshirt and some shorts and scurried your way to the bathroom.

your feet touch the cold marble floor and you jerk back a bit, “wooh okay” you mentally prepare yourself before stepping in the shower. your hand turns the knobs for the water and the drizzles of shower comes shooting down as the warmest of summer rain, your eyes squeeze shut as you bask & enjoy the warm water dissolving all your pain and aches away.

you stay like that for a few minutes, gradually getting sleepier by the second, eyes feeling heavy and your legs on the verge to give out. god you should finish this shower and head to bed so you can slee-

“who tf do you think you are, hm?”

you flinch as his voice finally reaches you. fuck, you didn’t know whether to be shit scared or shit turned on rn. “what do-“

“shut the fuck up, whore.”

your mouth instantly seizes up. you’re pretty sure he can hear the loud thumping of your heart, punching against your fragile rib cage & the small breathy whimpers that leave your mouth.

his rough hand latches onto your throat and you swear your stomach clenches a bit. his calloused fingers soothingly rubbing the sides of your throat. you can practically feel his hard abs pressing your back, but thats not all. you gulp, taking a deep breath in.

“baby, whats wr-“ you get interrupted again & his hold tightens just a tad bit more.

“did i say you could fucking speak?“ he grits out.

“you know all you had to do was tell me, and i would've fucked this dirty cunt of yours, but no, my dumb little bitch wanted to go and fuck someone else.“

you look at him with wide eyes, what the hell is he talking about?

in a swift moment, hes got you pressed against the wall. the pebbles of your breast brushing uncomfortably against the tiles causing you to bite down on your bottom lip.

“guess i have to remind you that this pussy...“

his hand roughly slaps your clit, making you jump in pleasure.

“belongs to me, and only me.“

------------------------------------------------

& thats how you ended up, face down and ass up on the satin bed. tears streaming down your face, while you begged him to “stop, its too much“and in response he laughed at your face, mocking your whimpers.

you could say that the initial pain was blinding, feeling yourself getting stretched out by him made all your racing thoughts dissipate as every nerve in your brain focused on not passing out. plain and pleasure, that's what it was about.

your hands roughly clenched around the black sheet beneath you, his body pinning you down, his thick girth hitting impossibly deep inside you. you immediately muffled your screams into the bedsheet, allowing drool to dribble down your mouth and stain it.

in a sudden movement, you felt his hand wrap around your locks and painfully pull back. “who fucks you better hm?“ he breathes out, as his pace quickens. “what” you whimper out as you bite down on your bottom lip.

his nose tickles your jaw, as he guides his mouth closer to your ears. “I said, does he fuck you better than me?” he pulls out, making you gasp at the loss of contact on instinct. “god- you’re test-“ “no” “what did you say?” he grunts out, as he repeatedly taps his cock on ur clit, gently pushing in and out, teasing you. your walls clench around nothing and you could finally say that the pain was getting worse, you wanted a release and you wanted it bad.

“no, no you’re the only one I want, please, please, please” you begged, pathetically.

“hm I didn’t hear you what did you say?”

“please bunny, I need to-“

“excuse me?”

“please please, daddy, let me cum, I’ll do anything, please”

his cocky chuckle filled the four walls, bouncing of em and directly piercing through your ears.

“good girl.”

daam fuck. you couldn’t deny the warmth that started to fill your belly by his praise. sooner than expected, you came. like he always says "cumming on daddys cock like a filthy slut".

and you was indeed, HIS filthy slut.

you slumped down onto the bed, heart pounding within your chest, sweat gathering on your forehead and a insane urge for more. he fell next to you on the bed and his large hand clasped around your waist, pulling you next to him. You could smell his cologne entangled with his musky scent, how could you resist him, you just wanted him to roll you over and dwe-

'you okay?' he whispered, big eyes staring at you, and you stared right back.

'yeah...' you answered, as your hands slowly crept down his abdomen, and you swore you heard his breath hitch. you softly palmed his solid, pink hard-on and low purrs resonated to your ears.

'what are you-'

he was interrupted. you spit on his cock and hungrily slide him into your mouth, taking him in as much as you could, a small gag from you makes him hiss and he throws his head back. you lick the stripe of vein on the side and swirl your tongue softly on his tip, oh how he wants to just grab your hair and force you on his cock until your a blabbering mess, but he doesn't want to ruin the moment.

you pull back with a pop and glare at the man who's now ready to do whatever you want.

"oh how the tables have turned..."

hope you liked that! i will be posting more stories soon! if you want to be on the taglist, just let me know! ♡

do you prefer shorter or longer stories? (ill keep it in mind for next time!)

thanks for supporting! if you have any requests or ideas, please dont hesitate to dm me! even if you just want to have a chat! ⋅ ୨୧ ⋅

@meowyoongii @amyyysposts @theuniverse4koo @era-genius @gukjshi

(tag list currently!)

[kaftan]

Some Notes on Arcs 18-20

(Long post! Here there be ramblings! Sorry)

- I forgot this was an arc 18 moment till I checked — Taylor feeling seduced (her words) by Dinah’s power, longing to hold on to her despite her mission being to free her… goosebumps. I love how the villains she hates rub off on her, worm (ha) into her.

- And then describing the act of returning her to her home as throwing away a resource… something that felt dumb to do… being proven right, in a sense, in arc 20, when it comes back to bite her… I’m reminded of some dialogue from animorphs that I’ll have to paraphrase, something about how what matters isn’t what’s right or wrong, it’s what’s expedient. Taylor isn’t all the way there yet, but feels like a matter of time.

- More on Taylor and morality: it’s fascinating to see her go through the same rough trajectory for every major battle — she starts from her baseline, being disturbed at the notion of seriously hurting or killing anyone, slowly numbs that sentiment with plenty of half-hearted strands of reasoning, eventually escalates to the point of cold-blooded violence or the enablement of such… and feels nothing. “Dissociation as an integral aspect of being” moment!

- I love Jessica Yamada. Not enough to read Ward, I have my limits. Getting a better perspective on the “all Amy’s horses and all Amy’s men couldn’t put Victoria back together again” situation was a treat. I love the horror elements in Worm. I love the horror of having the face of your trauma etched into the folds of your brain.

- Met Sveta! People on tumblr namedrop her a lot, to the point where I wondered if she’d been introduced before and I forgot. She’s a darling.

- Lily’s meltdown about Skitter… you can’t even look straight at her without feeling your skin crawl ❤️ but she sounds idealistic and naive even with cockroaches and bees crawling over her face ❤️ she starts making sense ❤️

- [Trickster voice] my beautiful gamer princess with a disorder… talk to me…

- This quote here:

“I mentioned it in passing to Miss Militia,” I said, “Better that you tell the truth and say we pushed hard for it. Blame me.”

“No,” Regent said, “Blame me.”

I shot him a look, and he shrugged. “Just wanted to get in on the fun,” he said.

says so much about Alec, lmao. It flagged in my brain because it’s the second time I’ve consciously noted it: his jokes about wanting to be included speak volumes. The truth he does not dare to know, etc etc

- Taylor “we cannot rule out human sacrifice” Hebert

- Marissa: She’s my friend. / Taylor: Was. It’s a big difference. Fast forward: Emma interlude, crossing paths at Arcadia. I love storytelling.

- Speaking of the Emma interlude: reading about Taylor’s bullying always makes me feel queasy; this was bone nausea on a deep level. What happened to Taylor is like if your worst fears about other people came true. You know, the nagging worry that you’re a burden, that a late text means I don’t want to be your friend. The worry that any reasonable person will tell you to ignore. How the fuck do you come back from living that nightmare?

Reminds me of Amy, how what happened to her is like if your worst fears about yourself came true.

- Everyone always talks about Taylor’s repressed rage but holy shit her repressed rage. What a character. What a character. I love her fantasies of violence. I love how much she basks in that meager catharsis.

- There’s something beautiful about how effortless the supervillain persona is for Taylor. (Every you is the real you, you are the mask and the wearer, etc.) Her standoff against Dragon and Defiant might be one of my favorite scenes yet. The perfectly affected nonchalance, the hanging threats toward hostages (becoming a theme), the mile-a-minute plotting, the grandiose gestures, the leveraging of fear… she’s a wonder and a terror.

- When she smiles and Clockbocker says “Fuck me, it just sunk in. It’s really her.” :-)))

- “and so that Defiant could make something resembling an apology as part of his twelve step assholes anonymous process” I fucking love you Taylor I love you forever

[inazumass]

Lost In The Fire || Part One

I just got out of surgery and realized I forgot to post this one on tumblr... priorities. No smut in this part, but be aware that its me and there will be smut later on... Minors do not follow me please, you will be blocked.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57089236

WARNINGS: Canon typical violence, major character death, semi graphic descriptions of violence, blood, death, nightmares, Pro Hero Suneater Lemillion and Nejire Chan, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, mutual pining, GN!Reader, No use of Y/N, freeform, Recommended for mature readers due to violence/blood

Word Count: 6.9k

Smoke rose high in the sky and he could hear the sound of sirens blaring outside, their urgent cries echoing off of the nearby buildings as he ran through the darkened hallways. Tamaki’s body felt heavy as he ran, almost as if he were running through quicksand. His heart was beating so fast it felt like it was about to come up through his throat. It wasn’t good, he was panicking and he knew it. There was no time to think, no time to slow down. 

 The screams of civilians rang out from all around him but there was no one here. He could hear the fight going on, but it seemed as if it was coming from all around him now. All alone in the hall, all he could do was run blindly toward the mayhem. Pain shot through his body as glass crunched beneath his bare feet. He didn’t care, only letting out a strained hiss as he rounded the outer corner inside the large office building. Following the sound of the chaos. 

He couldn’t remember how the four of you had gotten so split up. Was it during the blast? He could have sworn you were just right beside him. That didn’t matter now, he needed to find someone. Anyone. The three of you were tough, he knew that. You, Mirio, and Nejire were all forces to be reckoned with in your own right. When it came down to a fight you weren’t just threats, you were a goddamn promise to bring any nearby enemies to their knees.

He knew you could handle it.

So what was with this feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach threatening to devour him from the inside out?

The villain– he hadn’t caught his name– was unlike any he’d ever seen before. That hulking form, those horrible blasts… Was this his quirk? Or did he have two somehow… he didn’t look like a Nomu when he’d seen the guy. Was he working with someone else? 

Down the hallway a familiar voice broke through the chaos.

“Suneater, where are you?!” 

It sounded broken, desperate, and so, so unlike you. 

The hero raced to the end of the hallway, leaping over debris as he raced toward the voice, your voice. He was so close, even as his feet went numb from the pain of running through broken glass he didn’t stop. He still couldn’t tell where the fight was but he didn’t need to right now. The urgency in your voice was unmistakable, even in a few short words he could hear the wobble in it. It was all wrong, this was bad.

Tamaki all but skittered to a halt as he reached another bend in the hallway and saw you there, hunched over in the middle of the hall. 

There was blood, so much blood.

“It’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay, just stay with me.” You all but sobbed out. From your tone it wasn’t clear whether you were trying to convince yourself or the body beneath you. “I’ll get someone to get help.”

At first he couldn’t see who it was in front of you, their body obscured by your form, their clothes tattered and stained with the deep crimson of what he could only assume was their life force draining from them at an alarming rate. He didn’t even have time to panic.

His blood ran cold when he moved forward to see Mirio crumpled beneath you, his usually vibrant violet eyes glassy, barely open as he tried to focus on your face. Tamaki could practically see the colour draining from them as he stared down at him in horror. 

He didn’t know what to do at first, and that split second of freezing would cost him, he was certain. 

“I’ll be fine.” Mirio rasped out with a broken smile, coughing and sputtering up blood to punctuate his sentence as he looked up at the two of you.

Tamaki rushed to your side, attempting to assess the damage but he couldn’t see past all the blood. It was a mess. Your hands were braced against the blond’s sturdy body, your firm grip trying to slow the bleeding as best as you could, putting pressure on the worst of his wounds. 

Mirio’s cape was wrapped around him tightly, ripped pieces of it tied against his arms and legs like makeshift tourniquets– no, not like, that’s exactly what they were. How bad was it? Could he have stopped it even if he had been here?

“I-I can’t move him. I have to put pressure on his wounds you need to-”

“I’ll get help.” Tamaki muttered, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder before turning away.

His throat was dry, his mind was spinning. He’d get someone from support, he'd find someone, who could handle this- He had to keep a level head. Don’t succumb to panic. Be realistic about this; manifest wasn’t suited for healing, he knew that. He knew you were better suited to handle the situation. But he couldn’t help but feel useless running away from someone in need. 

But you were usually so calm in crisis situations, and he couldn’t get the image of your tear stained face out of his mind, the tired look on Mirio's as he got closer and closer to losing consciousness. You knew more about first aid than he did, you were a better healer than he could ever be– but now wasn’t the time to compare.

The support team had to be outside by now, he could swear he’d seen paramedics from the windows earlier he just had to find a way to-

“LOOK OUT!” 

That was Nejire, her pale hand outstretched as she rushed past him. But she wasn’t talking to him, no, she’d been looking past him. His neck turned so fast it nearly gave him whiplash as he watched her race toward you and Mirio. At that moment it felt like time slowed down. It was as if he could see things in slow motion, but he couldn’t move fast enough.

Three things happened next in quick succession.

First, the sound of shattering glass ripped through the air, the window exploding in a glittering sea of shards that rained down on the three people he cared most about. Glass tore across your cheeks as you squeezed your eyes shut and braced for impact, unable to take your hands off of the man in front of you in fear of losing him too.

Second, the section of the hallway you were in started to get darker. It was as if night had descended upon the three of you in an instant. Nejire tried to let out a blast but it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t fast enough. Even just from a quick glance at her it was clear that she’d nearly entirely exhausted her stamina in the fight. Mirio told you and Nejire to run but you wouldn’t move, you couldn’t leave him there. Cries of ‘just go, leave me’ and ‘you need to run’ followed by your voice breaking when you told him you couldn’t just leave him there to die.

Finally, the source of the darkness bit into the ceiling above the three of you. Something– one of the villains surely– had sent an ambulance hurtling straight through the outside wall of the hallway from the street below. Tamaki had already stretched out his tentacles to try and grab his friends but it was too late, he’d just barely gotten a grip on you and Nejire when the ceiling began to crumble.

He’d caught you both just in time to watch as the vehicle slammed into the wall, completely obliterating his outstretched appendages and pinning the pulverised remnants to the ground. His eyes went wide, his mouth opened in a scream he couldn’t hear as the rubble crashed into the three of you. He watched as Mirio closed his eyes and clasped your fists, his lips moved but Tamaki couldn’t hear him over the sound of crunching metal and crumbling concrete.

Nejire’s scream rang in his ears before she gurgled and went eerily silent. He couldn’t look, his eyes slammed shut as soon as he’d seen the piece of broken concrete headed in her direction. There had been no time to move, by the time he’d already stretched out his arm to save her it was already too close. He knew he didn’t want to see what came next. There was no time to drive, no time to let it sink in.

His left arm was ruined, but he could still save the two of you. 

There was still time.

At least that’s what he thought. Your eyes found his, a resigned look on your face as you stared back at him with that gentle smile that always comforted him. The world slowed around him again, he’d hoped this time it was merciful. If he could just get a grip on you and Mirio he might be able to get the three of you outside and to the paramedics before he succumbed to blood loss. Your mouth opened to say something right before the shattered rebar went straight through your head and the ceiling rained down on you and Mirio.

Tamaki jerked awake in his bed shortly thereafter, his heart still pounding in his ears. His pulse was through the roof, tears were already streaming down his face as he sat up in the darkness. His breaths came out in ragged pants as he tried to calm himself down. He fought the urge to scream, grasping at his left arm as if he expected it not to be there. 

It was just a dream… It was just a dream but it had all felt so real that he could swear he still felt the sting of the glass biting into the soles of his feet. 

A shaking hand clamped over his mouth as the first sob of many wracked his body. Tamaki curled in on himself in bed, covers long abandoned during his tossing and turning in the night. His body shook with the force of his cries as he recalled the image of the three of you dead on the floor in front of him. His arm stung with the memory of being pinned beneath the gnarled shreds of metal. But it was still there, free of the blood and gore his mind had created just to torment him in the dead of night.

He tried hard not to close his eyes for too long, for if he did the image would come rushing back instantaneously. The way Mirio’s blood pooled and seeped into the carpet, the empty look in your eyes as you left your body, the death rattles of yours and Nejire’s last breaths– He gagged at the thought, nausea bubbling up in his stomach as he fought back the urge to vomit.

A hand clamped over his mouth in the darkness as soon as he felt the bile rising in his throat. A choked sob muffled out around his palm. He was shaking like a leaf already, trying to breathe to calm himself but unable to take in enough air through the sobs. A quick glance at the clock told him it was well past midnight. 

Once his cries had calmed enough, he considered calling Mirio and Nejire. He picked up his phone, staring at the dim screen for a moment before deciding against it. What was he supposed to say? What would they think of him texting them this late? He couldn’t just say “Hey, I had a nightmare and I just really need you to wake up and text me back right now and tell me that you’re alive”. 

No. Absolutely not. That would be ridiculous and so embarrassing. 

Eventually he got up on wobbly legs, walking across the room to grab the water bottle off of his desk. He took a long drink to replace what he’d lost through his tear ducts. His head was pounding now, the tears still streaming freely down his face as he braced himself against the wooden surface for support.

If nothing else, the cool wood was grounding him here to reality. There were no villains here, he was in his room, the air was cool, the night was calm.

He moved to walk back to his bed so he could find a way to force himself to take his mind off of it before a sharp pain bit into the bottom of his foot and sent a shock through him with his last step. Glass. He thought briefly, his mind going right back to the rush of his heartbeat in his ears and the stench of iron in his nose. 

When he jumped back, he realised that it was only a stray pin that had fallen off of his bag at some point. Its sharp point sticking up from the carpet and laying in wait for an unsuspecting victim. But the damage was done. That pain sent the images from the nightmare flashing behind his eyes once again, another shaky cry ripping from his throat. He couldn’t take it anymore, stewing in this alone. At this rate he’d never get back to sleep and he’d spend the rest of the night thinking about the image of your crumpled bodies on the hallway floor.

It wasn’t like Tamaki to invade your personal space, especially when it came to the late hours of the night. He was the type of roommate who was content to be a ghost in the apartment, often hiding away in his bedroom or leaving you to your own devices unless you happened to approach him first. In the months that you two had shared the space, he had never dared to so much as bother you after you’d gone to bed for the night. 

But right now he couldn’t stop himself. 

Even as his hands shook reaching for your bedroom door, he cursed himself internally for how pitiful he was right now. A shaking, crying mess all because of one stupid little nightmare. Still, he needed to make sure you were alright, he hoped you were awake. He couldn’t take this alone, as much as he didn’t want you to see him like this. 

He wanted to run back now but he’d already called your name as he went and knocked on your door.

“A-are you awake?” A quiet little sniffle punctuated his question as the door pushed open from his light knocking. 

The hinges squeaked quietly in the darkness, just barely disturbing your slumber as you slowly came to. Tamaki froze, suddenly feeling even more guilty for having woken you up as you whined at the intrusion, grumbling softly about how late it was before your eyes adjusted to the darkness. 

"Mmh.... Tamaki?" You muttered, lightly rubbing sleep from your eyes as you looked up at him in your doorway.

Even through your sleepy haze and the dim lighting of the bedroom they could see the tears welled up in his eyes. In an instant you were completely awake, sitting up quickly without a second thought. The covers of your bed slipped down into your lap and you shoved them away. 

"What’s wrong?" You asked softly, your mind already running through the possible worst case scenarios as you searched for some kind of hint in his eyes. 

Even with the tears sliding down his cheeks you could see his shoulders relaxing as he laid eyes on you. Then he seemed to stiffen up a little as the dam broke again and he let out a muffled sob. 

“I-I’m sorry,” He whimpered, feeling awful about having woken you up. This was so embarrassing, he should have simply dealt with it on his own, of course you were fine. It was just a stupid nightmare and here he was crawling into your room like an idiot and-

“Hey, hey…” You cooed, reaching out to grab his hand from where you sat on your bed before thinking better of it. 

"Here, come here… Is it okay if I hold you right now?"

Despite the urge to run back to his room and bury himself in his covers he sniffled and nodded, allowing you to gently pull him down to sit next to you. You felt the bed shift beneath you as he joined, leaning into your one armed hug and hiding his face in your shoulder.

Your familiar touch was just enough to begin to lure him back into some sense of security and comfort once more. The light scent of the soap you used still clinging to your body replaced the stench of iron lingering in his mind, aiding in calming him down. He squeezed his eyes shut, only to be met with that horrible image from his nightmare once again. 

It was as if it had never left his mind, just waiting behind his eyelids to torment him every time he closed them. 

You wrapped your other arm around him then, feeling him shift uncomfortably at the memory. Reaching behind him, you grabbed your comforter, pulling it tight around the both of you for added security.

“It’s okay,” Your soft voice cooed as you rubbed his back. 

It was both mortifying and absolute bliss being babied like this, but he didn’t have time to enjoy it right now. Too busy reliving those images from his nightmare over and over.

This had never happened before, you couldn’t think of a single time when you’d seen him cry so openly, much less a time when he’d come into your room announced or otherwise. It was unclear how the best way to handle it would be so you just kept rubbing gentle circles in his back, hoping that he might soon calm down enough to tell you what was going on. 

“It’s alright, Tamaki.” You breathed, resting your cheek against the top of his head as you held onto him.

It was a few moments before his whimpers and sniffles calmed down enough for you to feel like you could ask; “Do you wanna talk about it?”

His voice was smaller than usual, almost fragile as he began to speak. 

"I... I guess," his voice wobbled as he tried to think about how to explain it. He at least owed you that for disturbing your peace so late at night. 

“It… it was awful,” Tamaki’s voice broke again, a hand clamping down over his mouth as he tried to stifle the sob that came out.

"It's okay, honey, take your time." You whispered, still rubbing his back in an attempt to soothe his cries. Of course, you wanted to know what possibly could have upset him enough that he would let you see him like this. 

"I-I had a nightmare..." He confessed, as if having read your mind. The elf eared boy sniffled again between his words as he tried to explain. His voice was trembling slightly as snapshots of the dream played on loop in his mind, taunting him. He didn’t want you to know the full scope of it. 

"I… I couldn't protect them..."

Ah, so that was it. You nodded gently, cheek moving to rest on your roommate’s shoulder as he cried. 

He was grateful for that, your gaze obscured from his view thanks to his messy hair obscuring his pitiful expression before he buried his face in your shirt. You were kind enough to spare him the burden of being perceived in full right now, knowing that he might very well shrivel up and die right here if he had to look at you in the state he was in.

"It's okay," You breathed.

You were tired but glad that he trusted you enough to feel safe here in your arms. It broke your heart to see him so distressed. 

Of course being a professional hero would come along with this sort of stress. It only made sense that these sorts of fears would creep in sooner or later but it didn't mean that it was something he needed to work through alone. Especially after all the four of you had been through together.

Even so, you didn't know what to say yet, unsure on how to comfort him best. 

"I woke up feeling so guilty and scared..." He mumbled, his tears staining your night shirt as he spoke. 

He had never felt such an intense fear before, and it was eating away at him from the inside out.

"I can't stop thinking about it…” 

Your grip on your roommate tightened a little bit as he continued on, your throat tightening at the way his voice broke when he talked about it. 

“It’s okay,” You repeated, mind blanking as you fought to find the right words to say to him in the moment. “I know how bad they can be… it was just a nightmare.” You said, giving him a tight squeeze as he began to cry harder. 

You knew it wasn’t enough, that facts didn’t care about things surrounding the realm of feelings and fear. It wasn’t enough that it wasn’t real, but you couldn’t think of anything more to say as he sobbed into your chest.

Having graduated from the hero support program, you couldn’t imagine the sort of pressure he was under in his current position. Four years of training and the two of you were in completely different leagues, on different yet similar paths. You’d both fought countless villains, but you were never the one to face things head on unless you were completely out of options. It was a blessing that you’d gotten the quirk you had, but it lacked combat potential. Healing could be used for torture and restraint, but only if you desperately needed to.

“What do you need me to do for you right now?” You asked, not sure if it would be better to help him find some sort of distraction or to let him cry it out for a little bit longer.

"Just... stay here with me, please..." He mumbled, still shaking slightly. He’d feel awful about this moment tomorrow for sure, but for now in your arms and beneath your duvet it felt like he was being engulfed in a safe haven. “I…” Tamaki’s voice quivered.

As much as he wanted to hold it back he couldn’t help it when the words came rushing out. "I-I thought I lost you." He sobbed out, thinking back to the moment in his dream when he’d watched in horror as blood gurgled out of your throat 

His voice was barely a whisper at the end, breaking in the middle of his confession. Quiet sobs wracked his body while he cried, his slender fingers gripping you even tighter as he buried his face in your neck now. He didn't want to go back to sleep yet, not wanting to risk seeing the images from that nightmare again. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing you, let alone having to watch his closest friends all dying in front of him because he wasn’t fast enough, wasn’t strong enough.

That simple sentence felt like a stab in the gut, momentarily rendering you immobile while you held him. You froze. Tamaki’s cries broke your heart and all you could do was squeeze him back as he cried in your arms. 

"I'm right here, Tama', it's okay." You breathed, gently stroking his deep indigo hair while holding onto him tightly. Determined to banish the nightmare from his mind, you continued: "I'm not going anywhere, it's okay... I'm here.” 

His hair was soft beneath your fingertips. It was a mess from tossing and turning in his sleep, but you didn’t mind.

"Y-you... promise?" He asked between sobs, gripping onto you as if his life depended on it. 

It was obvious to you that the nightmare had shaken him to his core. You didn’t dare press for more information.

Perhaps he just needed to know that someone was there for him at that moment. That you were here, alive and well. Something about your warmth pressed in next to him was enough to push the memory away for now. The soft smell of your body wash lingered on your skin, something akin to the calming rush of lavender flooding his nose and easing his racing thoughts. 

"Cross my heart." You replied, playing with his hair as you gently rocked him back and forth. You swayed slowly, the gentle motion slowing his sobs. "I'm sorry you had that nightmare, but it's okay. I'm alright, I'm safe." 

For now, the memory of your blood staining the hallway in front of him was slowly replaced with this moment. The nightmare slowly faded to a dull, uneasy ache. Calloused hands gripped the thin fabric of your tearstained shirt, determined to keep you close regardless. Even if the panic was gone for now, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to let you out of his sight for the foreseeable future.

"Mmm... th-thank you..." He murmured, his sobs slowly subsiding as he calmed down.

You offered him a gentle smile as you pulled back from the hug. The dim moonlight filtered in through the curtains in your bedroom, bathing it in a soft silvery glow. Slowly, you reached a hand up to brush away the tears from his pretty face. Your thumb swiped lightly across his cheek before you pulled your hand away from him.

The soft glow from outside cradled your head like a halo. Tamaki just blinked up at you, eyes bloodshot and sparkling with unshed tears as you treated him so delicately. 

"Of course, what are friends for?" You replied.

You didn’t see the way he looked away from you then, that subtle ache rising in his chest at the rhetorical question. He understood the sentiment well enough, and he was thankful that he’d been lucky enough to be your roommate.

"Y-yeah..." He agreed softly, staring at you for a moment before letting out a deep breath.

He was never one to be all that optimistic or cheerful. This was especially true when it came to matters involving himself or his physical strength… or really anything that had to do with his own self image. 

Even then he'd never let anyone see him this bad, but it had all felt so real in the moment. Too real, too possible. If he had allowed himself to stew in silence he’d still be able to hear the way your scream echoed, piercing the air sharply and ringing through his mind even after he’d woken up. His arm lingered around you, his grip on the fabric of your shirt slowly easing up as he convinced himself that everything was okay. 

Even if it wasn’t real… the situation was all too plausible in your line of work. What if he couldn’t get to you in time? Heroes couldn’t save everyone, even before graduating UA he knew that. During the war it got drilled into his head to the point where he couldn’t forget it no matter how badly he wanted it to be a lie.

"I'm... sorry I woke you." He mumbled, though the apology was sincere.

"Don't be, I'm glad you did." You replied, gently reaching up to tuck a strand of hair back behind Tamaki's pointed ears. "You can stay in my room as long as you like."

"Really?" He asked, as if surprised by the offer. It took a second for it to settle in but he was grateful nonetheless. "T-th... thanks." 

"Of course!" Honestly, a little part of you was grateful that you’d earned his trust enough for him to come and seek you out for comfort. 

Tamaki wasn’t one to seek out help when it concerned his insecurities or anxiety. Though his timid nature was adorable, getting to know him had been like trying to earn the trust of a feral kitten. The process had been long and slow, but you thanked your lucky stars that you’d gotten to the point in your friendship that you did. 

"Is there anything else I can do for you right now?" You asked, knowing that your roommate was still upset but not knowing what would be best for him right now... silent comfort, maybe a late night snack? A distraction? It was unlikely he’d want to divulge more about it while he was still coming down from the rush of fear and adrenaline. You weren't sure what he needed right now, and considering it was far past quiet time in your apartment building it was hard to say whether or not it would be a good idea to risk making a commotion in the kitchen and possibly waking up your downstairs neighbour. 

"No, just... staying here with you is enough." He replied, still slowly relaxing into the warmth of your presence. He let out a soft sigh, his breath hitching slightly as he felt tears sting at the back of his eyes again.

Without thinking, you reached out and squeezed his hand softly, wanting to reassure him that he was safe here no matter what. Whatever he needed right now he would get, though you may not have wanted to admit it aloud, you'd always had a soft spot for Tamaki. 

Something about his soft nature, his lack of self confidence despite the power he wielded both mentally and physically, it struck a chord with you. No matter what you promised yourself that you would always cheer him on. Something about your bashful roommate made your heart flutter no matter how much you tried to ignore it. He was just so sweet. 

He squeezed your hand back gently, leaning back into the touch as a sense of comfort washed over him. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing thoughts and slow his heartbeat once more. 

Unbeknownst to you, before you’d gotten closer you had always set him on edge. Though it was more prevalent in your relationship at the beginning. 

Despite your best efforts he could never gather up the courage to start conversations with you. It had been so hard for him to talk to you, even after you’d been taken in by his group of friends. Even when Nejire and Mirio had conveniently left the two of you two your own devices on more than one occasion.

The elf eared boy would never admit it to you, much less to himself, but you sent his heart fluttering from day one. 

The easy way you spoke with the others as if you’d been old friends, your kind hearted nature. He could never forget the first time you’d healed him after a training accident, the way your fingers pressed carefully against his heated skin. The sharp pain of the bones snapping back into place had been the last thing on his mind. Your gaze had been so soft as you reassured him that it was alright, how you had calmly listened to him when you’d dragged a story out of him to keep him talking and keep his mind off the injury while you worked.

Your movements pulled him back to reality as one arm moved to pull the covers up a little bit, making sure Tamaki was covered up as well before you moved to lay back down against your soft bedding. Your grip on his hand never faltered though, reassuring him that you’d be here as long as he needed. Your thumb ran softly against the back of his hand in slow soothing circles.

Exhaustion was already creeping back into your bones as the dip in your bed welcomed your body. Your head rested against your pillow, unconsciously making space in the bed for him while your eyes fell shut.

"I... I think I'll be okay now." He whispered, closing his eyes as he listened to your soft breathing beside him. He felt a warmth spreading through his chest at the contact. With Mirio and Nejire living on the opposite side of the neighbourhood, it was nice having someone closer in proximity to rely on when things got tough. 

Tamaki would never have been confident enough, even in his darkest moments, to reach out for you at a time like this. If it weren’t for the fact that you shared all but a room he may have never gotten a moment alone with you like this.

You smiled at his whispered words, your soft lips curving up into a sweet smile that crinkled your eyes. 

"I'm glad... I'm sorry about your nightmare though, that must have been awful." Had it been reversed, you might have done the same thing. Just seeing him so shaken up made your heart ache, you couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose him... dream or not.

At least now you were happy to hear that he was feeling at least a little better now. 

With the fear gone now he could feel the warmth creeping back into his cheeks as embarrassment began to flood his senses again. It really was pathetic of him to creep in here while you were sleeping. He should have been able to deal with this on his own, after all it was just a stupid nightmare, right? 

"I-it's just a dream... you know? No need to apologise." He stammered, his voice wavering as he tried to convince himself of the same sentiment. 

He still couldn’t look at you or the spot where your hands lay connected on your bed. He was doing an awful job of persuading himself. Dream or not, he’d felt it all as if it were happening in real time. With the rise in organised crime and villainous behaviour across the nation still recent enough to be fresh in his memory it was safe to assume that there would be many more battles ahead of you both. 

Even pro heroes had people they couldn’t save. He’d repeated to himself in his mind.

All Might himself couldn’t save every citizen during a disaster, so why would he be any exception? 

"I know... but I wish you didn't have to worry like that, you know?" You smiled sadly up at the ceiling as you spoke, still not wanting to subject him to your gaze while he was feeling low.

A beat passed before you added on to what you’d been saying. "Plus, I'm super quick.” It was halfway between teasing and a joke, and he could practically hear the smile in your voice even without turning to look at you. 

You weren’t wrong there, but everyone slips up sometimes. Attacks with a healing quirk had limitations, and as fast as you were there was always someone faster.

"And you're super strong, Tamaki!" You continued, “You’re an incredible hero.” He just needed a little more confidence in himself, and you knew Fatgum tried his best to help him in that area but that sort of thing didn’t just change overnight. 

It was a learned behaviour, something that came from within. Slowly replacing negative thoughts with positive ones may have sounded easy enough, but it was even more than that. Though, you’d be lying if you said that his reserved, bashful nature didn’t send your heartrate through the roof whenever he’d look away with a deep blush in his cheeks. The way the tips of his ears tinged red with embarrassment at the slightest thing.

"You’re just saying that," He whimpered.

A part of him truly believed that you’d only say something like that to reassure him and feed his nonexistent ego. Still, he couldn’t help the way his eyes sparkled a little in the low light of the room at your praise. 

Some small part of him cherished those kind words. It was no secret that he struggled with his self perception more often than not, but hearing it from someone he admired and trusted did feel good. Even when Mirio or Fatgum said nice things to him there was a small part that secretly took it to heart.

"Are you kidding? I mean it!” You shot back lightheartedly. 

“I've seen the way you fight when we were all training… and the way you took on those three villains all by yourself during the Shie Hassaikai raid was so badass! Not to mention everything you did during the war…” your voice trailed off a little at the thought, glancing down at the scars on your arm from that time. You were lucky those were the only souvenirs you’d received. 

“You're way cooler than you realise, Suneater." You smiled, heart fluttering a bit at that little flicker in his eyes. “Not only are you strong, but you’re a pretty good strategist too.. And you’re kind. It’s an honour to call you my friend.”

Sometimes it was frustrating trying to get through to him. Not only because you meant every word you said but because you knew the way his mind would twist it all too well. You knew exactly how it felt to feel like nothing but desperately need to be more. It felt hopeless, crushing… but it faded with time and effort. You knew better than anyone that you couldn’t compliment the problem away but he needed to hear it nonetheless. 

You needed to say it, to have it out there in the open.

Tamaki felt his heart swell with warmth at your words. "R-really...?" 

"Of course!" You beamed, unconsciously squeezing his hand a little tighter.

He whispered a soft “Thank you” in response, his cheeks turning a deeper shade of pink at your compliments and the squeeze of your hand on his. Even if he didn’t necessarily believe all of it, it felt good coming from you.

You just smiled in response before settling back into bed, still not bothering to let go of his hand. The warmth was comforting, the slightly roughened skin of his hands against yours and the connection you shared in that moment. 

It was sweet. That, and you hadn’t thought to let go, you didn't want to and neither did he, the comfort of knowing you were still there by his side was more than enough.

A little sigh escaped him as he settled down again, mirroring your position as he laid back against the headboard of your bed. You couldn’t help the blush that swept across your skin at the pretty sound that pushed past his lips. 

Eyes falling shut, you unconsciously moved the slightest bit closer to him in bed. Warmth and exhaustion clouded your mind now, the feeling of his weight beside you in the bed lulling you back to sleep. He found his own eyes fluttering shut as well as the rush of adrenaline wore off completely at last. 

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep next to you, but the weight of your blankets overtop of him and the scent of you in bed next to him had him dizzy when his mind finally stopped racing.

There was nothing to replace the adrenaline in his system now, nostrils flooded with the gentle fragrances that filled your room, body relaxing into the warmth of your sheets. It wasn't long before the both of you drifted off to sleep, warmth spreading through your chest as you relaxed completely into the bed.

It was cute, really. If Mirio could see him now he’d be pumping his fist in the air in excitement. He’d spent far too long watching his friends not so subtly pining after each other. The way Tamaki would steal glances at you when you weren’t looking. How he’d turn away and cower from the faintest little smile from you in the beginning. It had taken the two of you long enough to finally start talking, he’d pulled just enough strings to get the two of you in closer proximity just hoping that one of you would finally have the guts to admit to yourselves that you had feelings for the other person. 

Neither him nor Nejire had ever gone so far as to pressure you vocally, though they’d dropped a couple hints here and there when Tamaki wasn’t in earshot. No one had told her though, she’d simply ‘gotten a vibe’ and wanted to question you about it. Why not? She figured you two would be cute together and she knew she was right.

The two of you laid like that for a long while, bodies perfectly intertwined in the bed as if you’d been made to lay together this way. If he’d been awake it was certain that his heart wouldn’t be able to take such an intimate situation. Free and unencumbered by the anxiety that plagued him during his waking hours, it was easier for his body to give in to what he craved.

If you’d been awake, the way he squeezed you would have sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach. It was needy, almost protective in the way he curled around you, his body craving your touch. 

Even in your sleep you felt it though, wrapped up in his arms and his scent, your mind wandered in your dreams. You could hear the slow, shallow breaths he took, the warmth of them fanning across the nape of your neck as he nuzzled into you in his sleep.

Tamaki’s breathing slowed down, his chest rising and falling gently against your back as he curled up around you. His sleep was a merciful one, his mind and body relaxing as he was enveloped by your covers. In your sleep you pressed back against him beneath the covers, his strong arms wrapping tightly around your waist.

Dreams danced behind your eyelids, no doubt affected by the close proximity to your friend. The heat of his chest slotted against your back like two connected puzzle pieces. 

[anadiluna]

Your Waves...

Warnings: pure fluff, kinda cringe idk

I don't even know how to use tumblr properly or how to post here so I'm sorry, but I'm planning to post regularly for Bada🫡

Yes, I also post on wattpad and I'm lazy as hell.

Luna was too tired to keep a conversation with her fellow members and dancers or to simply sit up straight, she laid down on the floor of the practice room during the break, the collective sound of people gasping with exhaustion mixed with some random laughs here and there sounded almost melodic to her, the feeling of working exhaustively with so many people who had the same passion filled her heart with emotions that she couldn't name it, sharing that moment, with all of that people was one of the reasons why she loved being an artist, seeing so many people work hard towards a project that her and her beloved members worked so hard from scratch made her feel appreciated and respected, specially when her favorite person in the world, Bada, was one of those people who were working so hard to make justice to their hard work creating and directing a mesmerizing performance to their comeback.

Her chest went up and down with fatigue, it was hot and the lights were right on her face but she didn't care, she closed her eyes and took the time to feel the moment, a little smile rested on her lips, a comforting feeling took her entirely, at that moment she felt like life was worth it.

Then a shadow blocked the lights above her head and when she opened her eyes she was greteed with the most beautiful scene, Bada stood tall over her laying figure, her black and blonde strands of hair illuminated by the lights, the sweet smile on her face got wider by each second showing off her dimples and cute eye smile, to Haerin, Bada was the most mesmerezing live portrait displayed in slow motion, while absorbing each and every detail of Bada's face, the warmth that was just comforting her soul exploded like fireworks in her heart and she couldn't hold back the most sincere giggle she ever let out in her life.

"Are you okay?", Bada asked following Haerin's giggle, she didn't understand why the girl looked so happy all of sudden, but when Luna smiled so happily like that she couldn't help herself, she felt every inch of her body being filled with so much love that she completely forgot where she was and just stood there, admiring her.

Haerin nodded positively, smiling fondly.

Bada thought Haerin looked beautifully lost in her own little world, as she admired her smile and the way little wrinkles formed on the side of her eyes as her smile got bigger, with her hair all messy and all giggly like that she looked like the happiest girl in the world, and that's exactly how Bada wanted Haerin to always feel.

"Teacher, can you help us with the formations?", one of the dancers of the foreign crew interrupted the moment, Bada should feel ashamed for being caught completely lost in her co-worker's eyes, but instead she felt frustared as she had to go back to work. Bada and Haerin had been working together for years now, and the giggles and butterflies seemed to never leave them, everytime Bada looked at Haerin she had to repress the urge to hold the shorter girl close to her heart and never let go of her.

When Bada went back to work Haerin rolled her body to face the wall so no one could see how whipped she was by Bada's smile. Her hands closed in a fist on her chest like she was trying to physically control the turmoil of feelings inside her heart, her cheeks burned with the thought of someone catching her smiling like that, anyone that saw that would be sure she's completely in love with her best friend.

Her eyes met with Jimin's, her friend smirked to her in the cutest teasing way, he didn't said anything, only noded his head, showing he saw everything. Her cheeks turned into a deeper shade of red, she covered her face and sat in front of him, still against the mirror wall so the dancers and Bada couldn't see her face, It was not on her plans to tell him about her feelings, but she was so happy that she just accepted she couldn't do or say anything to change his mind as he just caught her whipping.

"She's so-", she slightly pulled her own hair, joking as if she was going crazy because of her feelings, she couldn't properly say how pretty she thought Bada was or how she felt about her, she preferred to joke around the matter so she wouldn't feel so embarrassed.

Jimin covered his face with his tiny hands and laughed at Haerin's way of confessing her love, he never thought she would stop denying or admit she was in love with her best friend after all those years, specially like that, pulling her own hair and mumbling words in embarassment, he found it cute and was impressed by how open she was being about it, he realized once more that Bada changed her for the better.

"Okay guys, that's enough rest! Let's go back now! Last section and we can all go home.", Bada stated in her loud teacher voice while walking to the center of the practice room as everyone followed her.

"She's attractive isn't she?", one of the male backup dancers whispered to his friend while checking Bada as if she was a piece of meat, his friend smiled doing the same. "She's beautiful, but calm down man, you're not the only one looking at her, even the girls can't stop talking about her. Can you believe Emma is planning to ask for her number?".

Haerin couldn't be more offended, she silently gasped and looked at Namjoon, asking with her eyes if she heard it right. Her leader laughed and whispered in korean "What? You're the only one who can talk to her?".

She frowned and turned back to Bada who was explaining something about how the performance was going to be on stage and other things she couldn't really pay attention because of the jealousy that consumed her entirely, and without even realizing an annoyed expression rested on her face for the rest of the practice.

Haerin made sure to scan each and every dancer of the foreign crew, trying her best to discover who Emma was. She couldn't blame the dancers for liking Bada, they must've gone crazy when they realized she has a bright and bubbly personality besides the serious dance director persona during the work hours, but even so, why do they have to act like that? They would all go to back to America soon so why would they want her number? Haerin knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't help herself, just the thought of Bada going out with someone killed her.

Thankfully the dancers left not too long after the practice ended, Haerin made sure to keep Bada busy since the second the music stopped, asking inumerous questions about the performance so no one would have time to talk to her. Namjoon, who realized why Haerin was so talktive, convinced the other members to leave earlier.

{♡}

Bada touched my chin with the tip of her fingers, making me look up at her. "Something wrong?", she mumbled mirroring my pout, exchanging glances between my lips and my eyes.

"U-um.", I nodded negatively, even though I was quite upset I wouldn't bother her with something so irrelevant, also, I wasn't right on the first place.

"Then why are you pouting?", she moved her soft and long fingers from my chin, now caressing my cheekbones with her thumbs.

"Your expression was different some minutes ago. Is there something or someone bothering you, hm?", she asked lowering her head to make sure I locked eyes with her, making our faces come so close that I could feel her breath on my lips.

I chuckled softly, the way she would always make sure no dancer was bothering me, touching me weirdly and just making me uncomfortable in general made me feel safe, made me feel like I was hers.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired.", I gave her a reassuring smile but her arched eyebrows clearly show me she didn't believe me.

"It's nothing, really. I just wanna rest.", I gripped the fabric of her shirt on the back of her waist and hid my face on her neck, hoping that she would give up, but she didn't.

"Haerinnie... you're hiding something. Say it now, or else I'll ask the boys and you know they always tell me.", she said in a demanding tone but the way she caressed me head gently showed me she wasn't angry, just impatient.

"Agh... the dancers behind me were talking about how beautiful you are and how everyone on their crew is simping for you and... a-and there's a girl that wants your number, I got jealous and didn't want them to talk to you so I kept talking so she wouldn't have a chan-"

Her sweet laughed echoed in the empty practice room like a beautiful melody.

"You're so cute.", one of her hands cupped my face and her thumb gently caressing my cheek while her other hand firmly gripped on the side of my neck pulling my face even closer to hers, seeing her bright and beautiful smile up close and knowing that Ibwas the reason for it made me feel like I could have a stroke right there and die happily.

"Well, I guess we're even even now.", she said almost in a whisper, smiling cheekily.

"What do you mean?", I asked.

"I *kiss on the left cheek* told *kiss on the right cheek* Kai *kiss on the nose* that you *kiss on the chin* you were dating when he asked me for your number.", Bada said the last phrase looking at me with a satisfied ironic smile.

"You what?", I asked in disbilief. I tried to sound mad or slightly annoyed by the sudden confession, but the little smile creeping on the side of my lips showed my true feelings.

"Don't come at me, you wouldn't go out with him either way.", she said letting go of me and taking her bag.

"Yeah, I wouldn't. Who is the lucky guy that got to be my boyfriend?", I asked ironically also taking my bag, vasually pretending that I wasn't feeling butterflies in my stomach with the thought that she also didn't like the idea of me going out with other people.

"Well, I didn't especify who was your boyfriend. But it could be me, right?", her teasing smile made me chuckle again.

"What do you want to eat today?", she asked holding my hand as we walked out the room.

"I don't know", I interlocked my fingers with hers, I couldn't form a proper sentence now as suddenly she was being so freaking forward, I could feel my heart beating on my throath and couldn't hear a word of what she was saying about which restaurant should we go today.

{♡}

Our plans, or better, Bada's plans of taking me to a new restaurant went down the hill when the boys insisted that we went to our old shared house that now we used basically as a basement, to drink in celebration of our comeback, and as Bada was also involved on the making process she couldn't deny.

Soon enough they were completely wasted by the alcohol, as dawn creeped in, the place filled with laughter and talks was now with a comforting silence interrupted by some snores here and there.

Bada and Haerin snuggled on the couch laughing of Jungkook's and Namjoon's deep snores, they slept on the couch of the other side of the room with mouths open making the scene even funnier to the girls.

"How can them make these noises and not wake up?", Haerin whispered trying to hold back her laugh.

"I have no ideia. I think I would wake myself up if I snored like that.", Bada said following Haerin's laugh.

As if it the universe heard them, Namjoon snored loudly and woke himselp up, looking around startled he found the two girls laughing uncontrollably at him but just ignored and went back to sleep.

Haerin threw her head back trying her best not to laugh so loudly. Bada, who was just tipsy, also laughed but took her time to stop and admire Haerinnie's happiness, she thought she looked lovely with messy hair and flushed cheeks throwing her head back laughing like a kid.

"C'mon Bada-ya, let's get out of here before they wake up and curse at us.", Haerin got up and took Bada by her hands to her apartment some floors above.

Bada felt herself going insane, everytime Haerin drank she would call her with the cutest pet names, "my baby", "my love", "my darling", just like she would casually do to Haerin everyday, but when Haerin called her "Bada-ya" with the softest tone she felt like her heart was melting in her chest, her name fell from Haerin's lips as if she was casting a love spell.

{♡}

"Here, drink everything.", Bada said sitting besides Haerin and giving her glass of water.

Haerin took a big sip of it, just like she demanded, she chuckled at the girl's obedience while fixing her hair that was flying everywhere because of the wind. Even though it was cold Haerin insisted that they stayed for a bit on the balcony, she loved to just look at the city lights and imagining how each street looked like at that time.

"Isn't so beautiful how the city lights reflect on the Han River water?", Haerin admired the river far away, her eyes fixed as if she haven't been doing that everyday for the last two years since she moved in.

"Yes, it's beautiful, Haerinnie.", Bada smiled at the sight of the river. Before meeting Haerin she used to watch the water's flowing while in deep thoughts about life, or even herself, because of the name she was given, but now, everytime she sees any body of water, like a river, sea or lake the only thing that comes to her mind is how much Haerin would appreciate the view, how she could spent hours just admiring the water flowing with her innocent and bright eyes shining more than the stars on the sky.

Haerin looked deep in thought watching the river, Bada laughed to herself knowing that, at this point, the shorter girl was probably imagining she was a fish swimming there. Haerin's love for water fascinated her, she loved everything related to it, but was so scared when it comes to swimming, she would give the most screeching screams at any tiny wave that hit her body when she went to the beach.

"Bada-yaaa.", with eyes still fixated on the river Haerin chuckled to herself calling Bada's name with the softest tone again.

"What?", Bada asked exchanging glances between the shorter girl and the river, wondering if she was too drunk to realize she was still there.

"I know Han River it's not a sea, but you are.", Haerin laughed lovingly, Bada couldn't help but laugh at Haerin's drunk state, she looked at the shorter girl with the prettiest glint on her eyes.

"Do you know why I like to watch the river flowing?", Haerin mumbled in her own words, the alcohol effect still on her body.

"Why?", Bada's heart skipped a beat, she knew Haerin was going to say something related to her and that made every single part of her feel an overwhelming happiness even though she knew Haerin was completely out of her mind.

"Because of you. Everytime I watch any body of water my mind goes straight at you... I'm enchanted to think that your name fits you so perfectly.", Haerin's fingers carefully traced Bada's features. "You know how people say that we should swim to wash our worries away? It doesn't matter that I'm too scared to do that because my worries are washed away everytime I look at you, the bad things on my mind are just words written in the sand that your waves easily make it dissapear in a second. It's really beautiful to me, Bada."

At this point Bada was a complete mess, her heart swelled with love, she tried to hold back and not let her feelings take control of what she was going to say or do, but Haerin looked at her with so much love, touched her face with so much tenderness and said thing in such a loving way that she couldn't help but just stand there and look at her girl with bright puppy eyes and pull her even closer.

"My angel, you have no idea of how much your words mean to me.", Bada choked in her own words, throughout her life some people had said beautiful words to her, but never this way, all Bada could feel in Haerin's words was pure, pure love, she made Bada feel vulnerable in a way that no one ever did.

"Ever since I've met you it seems like life's better, everything I do and feel has so much more worth, your words and actions towards me are always so sweet and loving, you make me feel so in touch with my emotions, you make me feel safe. And I love how you view the world, I love to see how your eyes shine at the littlest things, I love how passionate you are about your work, the way you smiled at me during the practice today made you look like the happiest girl in the world, and that's how I want you to always feel, I want to be the person who will be by your side, I want us to feel this kind of happiness together, I just need you by my side." Bada sniffed trying to hold her tears but it was impossible, she lovingly stroked Haerin's cheeks. "I love you so much."

Haerin was not much better than Bada, the tears fell from her eyes like an broken faucet.

"I love you more.", was the only thing Haerin could answer with an trembling voice as she looked at Bada with the biggest puppy eyes, almost pleading to be kissed by the taller woman.

Her hands that now rested on Bada's collarbone gently made their way to her neck and face, applying a slight pressure pulling her closer, her gaze was intense and vulnerable at the same time, she silently asked for permission, after all this, if Bada didn't touched their lips at that moment it would mean that Haerin was going crazy and Bada didn't have feelings for her, she felt her heart wrenching as the seconds went by and Bada didn't do anything besides looking at her with the same puppy eyes.

Bada's lips felt as plump and soft as Haerin imagined, her touches were so soft she could feel the love running through Bada's veins as the tip of her fingers pressed her waist pulling her impossibly closer and sending eletric waves wherever they touched. That moment was heavenly for both, so many years of love being repressed by fear of being rejected finally came to an end, the tears streaming down their cheeks made their lips become salty making them break the kiss to giggle, they snuzzled their noses with closed eyes, feeling their hearts beating dangerously fast.

"I can't believe this is finally happening. I'll always love you, my Haerinnie."

[hey-hamlet]

wha!!! hope everyone is safe, including your mutual. Also, good on you for taking a break!! I have missed you but I'm glad you're being healthy and studying<33

actually i didn't tell that mutual story because i forgot to, but i will because it's kind of hilarious. i wont @ them just bc i've been rather loosey goosey with my personal information here and don't want to dox them by proxy (not that i think i would, but anyway! most of this story is actually just my complaining about the field trip but anyway. hang in there.

so! i have to take this one first year course because i only just picked my minor. people playing along at home will know im a second year who already has a degree, so this first year course is kind of killing me because its just the same content i've been taught before. nothing wrong with the course itself, im just not the target audience here.

there was a compulsory field trip which no one was enthused about, especially given it was 125 dollars and our course coordinator was kind of bitchy about it like "just don't buy bubble tea for a month and you'll be able to afford it" which. still mad about but not relevant here. we arrive and its pissing down rain. like, we are swimming in it. this rain continues the whole time.

and then as we eat lunch, the power cuts out. this is an over night trip. the power does not come back on until the next day at about noon, so we all have to hang out in the dark and take freezing cold showers - the showers were also full of weird bugs and smelt terrible. we are also in a 10 people per room situation on terrible terrible beds, and they make us wake up at 6am which is extra lame.

ANYWAY, through out all of this, we had 2 major activities, done in groups of about 8 with one tutor to each group. our tutor is basically group adult (this is a first year course and most of the people in it are like 18) and the person who knows what is going on. my tutor, who i get randomly assigned, is a delight. very funny, nice to work with, explains things enough to make sense but not enough that i get impatient, 10/10 great at their job. as a group, we all chat to eachother and the tutor.

i, as a person who has default scripts for small talk(ish) talk i run through, only have so many fun anecdotes i can tell about my life. it turns out that this is a problem.

at the end of the trip, we are sat in a room waiting for the bus, just vibing. not relevant to the story but like 3 people stacked it falling down the hill just getting to the room bc of how steep and muddy it was, i felt terrible for them, but it was also kind of funny. my tutor turns to me.

"so. do you like, have a tumblr? because i think you do."

i turn, torn between called out and impressed at the accuracy of this burn. "yeah i do - why?"

"i. think we're mutals." i blink. i do not know how to process this. they lean over.

"hey-hamlet, right?"

my soul leaves my body, then i have a moment where i am violently grateful the stuff i post here isn't *that* weird. like its weird. but. it could be so much worse.

[wannabevampire]

hello my vampires!

it’s allie! i don’t know how many of you remember me (goodness knows i don’t blame you considering i’ve been gone for TWO YEARS!!). but in case you forgot i use to write fanfics on here! mainly marvel, i was probably most known for writing fics about druig and matt murdock!

my life has changed A LOT since then. i moved across the country, started studying at my dream school in my dream program (#allieinstem), lived in THREE different apartments and dealt with oh so much roommate drama, became a bit of a party girl for a moment, worked a lot of different jobs, and fell in love :)

as we all know the world has FINALLY woken up and realized how hot Barry Keoghan is!! and a few weeks ago i caught myself thinking “huh i wonder what happened to that old tumblr account i ran that had over a thousand followers where i was a complete whore on the internet and wrote fan fics constantly??”.

i “abandoned” this account over two years ago, but I still think about it every now and then. i left suddenly and without notice for a multitude of reasons, but without getting too specific i was going through some insanely drastic life changes and my mental health wasn't the best.

I have retyped this post so many times because I'm not sure what to say! But I've been thinking about this account and how much it meant to me. As well as remembering my wonderful mutuals who were always so sweet, funny, and supportive <3

life has been really tough recently, not bad just…hard. and i remember how cathartic this community was for me. i’ve mentioned this before, but english is my second language and my writing has always been a huge insecurity of mine. and yet I felt so welcomed here and it gave me so many opportunities to write for fun!

to see that my fics, blurbs, and slutty fantasies are still being reblogged is so crazy and it makes me very happy! i'm not sure if i'll start writing again but i guess we’ll see :)

(regardless i might reblog a bunch of my old druig/barry content because of the current barry renaissance lol)

side note: went through my drafts and found an old matt murdock fic that i never posted???? it’s like 3.5k words lol and it's almost finished. so weird seeing my old work but like…should i post??

if you remember me at all or are interested in my old work please reach out to me! mutual, nonnie, follower, literally anyone!! i’d love to see how this little corner of the internet is doing <3

as always…

xoxo,

allie 🕊️

p.s. I have such a strong urge to reach out to my old mutuals who are still active because you guys are all such talented writers but I don't know if that would be weird since it's been so long! ahh!!! should I?? please say hi!!!

p.p.s should i post that matt murdock fic??

[krudy7kk]

Analysis of Spirealm's ending

Never posted anything on my tumblr but I have the most unholy Spirealm brainrot rn so I'm posting my analysis of Spirealm's ending. The preface, a lot of people interpreted the ending of Spirealm as depressing and the series to be very tragic overall, but, I feel like the ending is mostly happy, and here's why;

Crossposted on MDL as a review

Heavy Spoilers

Spirealm ended with seemingly “it was all a dream” type of ending but my interpretation of the ending was that Lin Jiu Shi , through the act of completing the game, “saved” the game as his childhood friend intended. “Saving” the game in this scenario, reverts all the tragedy the game has caused without erasing anything that’s happened… kind of. The way the story goes about it is a little convoluded but through picking up the themes of this story, is not indecipherable. 

Proving that the game did all happen; there are three main points that infers this. The first, most tangible point is that, at the end of the series, LJS wakes up in the middle of the traffic. Assuming everything that’s happened after the traffic accident at the end of the series was dreamt up, it does not explain why the internet cafe boss at the beginning of the series– who’s seen the game before the traffic accident– has no recollection of LJS having played the game. The second point, if everything in the game had not happened, it would make no sense for LJS to accurately know the name of people he’s never met before. The third point, which is the most confusing one, explains one of the main themes and why the director probably chose to take this route. 

One of the main themes of Spirealm is the legitimacy of the “virtual world”, where the characters have debated multiple times if everything that happens “virtually” in the game is real or not. I forgot which episode it was but, LJS in the latter part of the series pondered “If the feelings in Spirealm are more sincere than real life, what really is the difference between virtual and reality?” ( Also not a direct translation, I’m too lazy to go find the exact episode and translate it) The point of this quote is, even if the memories don’t exist anymore, the feelings and relationships that were formed during the time in Spirealm were “real” and sincere. We can see this through the way Chen Qian Li fhaving familiarity towards LJS at the end of the series, despite acknowledging that he doesn’t actually know him. This is a little more debatable but you could also argue that the differences between the depiction of the people around LJS before and after he woke up also shows the effects of the game. One could interpret Tan Zao Zao being an influencer instead of an actress as something unconsciously influenced by the events of Spirealm. While being in Spirealm, TZZ felt like she constantly had to mask herself as an actress, you could argue that her being a influencer instead of an actress in the new world as a choice she made unconsciously due to the feelings of restriction she’s felt in Spirealm. Same with instances like Chen Yi Xie watching horror movies as a hobby and Li Dong Yuan being content working as a street vendor that makes little money.

In the last scene of the show, when LJS goes back into Spirealm, he sees TZZ where she tells him “it feels like I woke up from a long dream”, referring to life outside of the game. This further emphasizes how the game is actually “real” too, since when LJS is outside Spirealm, Spirealm is referred to as a “dream”. Whichever reality they are in is the real one, so by proxy, they are both real.

Another point to consider is the relationship between LJS and RNZ. If everything was a dream, then essentially, LJS dreamed up a lifelong companion (boyfriend) in elaborate detail seemingly out of nowhere… It makes more sense if RNZ did exist, but was simply erased from existence due to the game also having been erased. The whole last arc of the story also repeatedly states that he would be erased once the 11th door was complete.

The game bringing people back to life, erasing everyone’s memory, and altering reality also seems entirely reasonable when the whole basis of the game is based on its ability to kill people and warp time. Realistically speaking, there was no real way to depict RNZ and LJS saving the game besides erasing the game completely, therefore, the erasure of everyone’s memory and the game’s existence is the intended effect of “saving the game”.

I also believe that LJS reprogramming the game essentially is the equivalent of him fulfilling his friend's wish of  “restoring the game to its original state” as the game he ended up recreating was essentially the original intended game. 

I believe that the ending of Spirealm was the perfect happy ending, Everyone is alive again, they get to live their life to the fullest, and in the end, LJS finishes the game where he likely decides is his new “reality” with RNZ. They all live together happily as Chen Qian Li wished for in the 11th door. This is the 12th door, LJS’s completed door of happiness.

That’s mostly all I wanted to say, I’ll probably rewatch the series when Subs (that are comprehensible) come out so I can make exact quotations and give actual episode numbers (plus there are probably more things I have missed). But for now that’s all I’ve wanted to say. I’m open to debate the ending since I feel like the ending was definitely left a little ambiguous but I feel like a lot of these things were changed from the novel with the intent of creating this ending specifically. (ex. Slight novel spoiler: TZZ being a famous and acclaimed actress in the Novel while being mildly unpopular in the series) 

Add my discord if you want to talk about this show with me, it lives in my head rent free: krudy7kk

TLDR: Spirealm was not a dream, everything that happened got erased due to LJS completing the game. Everyone gets transported into an altered reality where they are living their happiest lives (indirectly bc of games events) and LJS reunites with everyone towards the very very end where they all live peacefully together.

[backstage-autorin]

I can't stop thinking about the HTDIO scene where the characters read the blog post

Content note: the quotes from the blog post will have ableism in them, which is called out in the context of the show but may not be what people want to see on their tumblr feeds.

I've seen the show twice, once in early January and again at the closing performance, so I didn't pick up on everything (unfortunately I forgot what Tommy's line was and until my 2nd time seeing it I misremembered which character had a specific line.) The first time I saw it I felt the breath get sucked out of the room at the opening line that Dr. Amigo read; I didn't get quite the same feeling the 2nd time but I saw it but I feel like the closing show was more fans seeing it one last time/who had seen it already and had somewhat braced themselves for the scene. (That being said, the 2nd audience cheered more when Remy's livestream included the phrase "Nothing about us without us, while I heard less of a reaction from the audience my 1st time).

But one thing that stands out to me about that scene is how the lines are perfectly crafted to tie into the characters' storylines and hurt each character individually.

To break it down by character with the caveat that the quotes are gonna be incomplete paraphrases(in alphabetical order except for Drew because I remember his line being last in the scene):

Caroline: "most will never marry or have children" (a few scenes ago she was singing about hanging family pictures down the hallway with Jay) (when I first saw the show I thought this was Marideth's line, tying into her conversation with her dad about dressing like Santa for her hypothetical future children)

Jessica: "most may never be able to live on their own" (throughout the show she has been working on trying to move out of her mother's house by learning life skills like cooking and the fact that her crush on Tommy is partly due to her search for a boyfriend who can drive so she no longer has to use unreliable government transport)

Marideth: "the nightclub is full of loud noises that can cause meltdowns and tantrums" (Marideth's sensory issues are prominent throughout the show--her opening line is an opinion of the scent of soap, she hates zippers that touch her skin [at least that's my interpretation of hoodie zippers being ok when dress zippers are bad] and the loud sounds in the diner stress her out. However, we also see that she has strategies to deal with unpleasant sensory input, like noise-canceling headphones)

Mel: "kings and queens for one night" (erases their existence as a nonbinary person)

Drew: "when you think you can't do something, think of the young boy with autism asking a girl to dance" (not gonna lie I also saved this one for last because there's so much to unpack. Given the fact that Drew is a high school senior, "young boy" is pure infantilization. At the end of Act 1, we see him want to ask Marideth to the dance but end up asking her if she wants to borrow his book about Pangea instead. In the long run this works because the book helps Marideth process her feelings for Drew, but in the short run the article line looks like it was written to taunt Drew for chickening out at the last second. This line in the article also ties back into the beginning of the song under control, when Drew contemplates his life thus far and the pressure he feels to "be the poster child for if he can then you can")

I just feel like the way the lines are individually crafted to each character's storyline needs to be talked about. Also if anyone can remember what Tommy's line was (with or without a connection to his storyline) that would be appreciated.