#This exists in the LGBT community too. The amount of trans men who have been shunned from safe spaces after they transition and pass

[blue-banditt]

I love getting posts talking about how Men Are Bad in excruciating detail on my FYP. [Gritting my teeth] Third wave feminism is so cool. Saying that all men should die is good and makes you a good person. /s

[agenderakali]

The LBGT rep in League of Legends seems interesting so far!

If you had any critiques on how the rep as a whole is being portrayed, which would they be?

Sorry if this seems like too much of a hassle, you just piqued my interest, is all 😆

Oh I have SO many things to say about the LGBT representation in League, I love to talk about it. So, league started out as a very cishetereo, misogynist IP and a lot of that unfortunately shows to this day. A lot of the old designs are crappy and misogynistic, the fanbase is toxic. But over time devs have been updating their designs, lore, stories, and characters and in doing so have introduced more LGBT characters into the universe.

This pretty much started with Caitlynn and Vi all the way back in 2012. They were originally billed as the "good cop bad cop" duo from Piltover. Vi's short hair and their close working relationship got a lot of people speculating on Vi being a lesbian and them being more than business partners. Devs hinted at characters being queer, and the (predominantly cishet man) fanbase made homophobic jokes and memes about queer coded characters. Jokes, speculation, and hints from developers was all there was when it came to LGBT rep. That changed when Varus got his lore update in 2017, when they decided to totally retcon his old lore and say he is not some guy, actually is a gay couple that gave up their mortal forms to exist in the body of a darkin (?? kinda weird and complicated lore) but shortly after that, Neeko was revealed. Who was League's first openly gay champion. She had voice lines flirting with women and showing no interest in men. Beyond her sexuality though, she's just got a very funny and adorable personality and her interest in women isnt sexualized for the mostly male audience. She was very well received despite some bigoted gamers bitching.

After that more and more champions were introduced as queer or confrimed that way. Rell was introduced as openly bisexual, K'sante was openly gay, Leona and Diana got a story where they kissed and were confirmed as lovers. Arcane confirmed Vi and Caitlynn being a couple. The amount of queer content is kind of sparing since their games arent rlly story focused and only offer characterization through brief voice lines. So... to be clear its kind of just representation crumbs. But I take them anyways dfkjgh. I think at least, one of the best things they did recently was confirm Graves as a gay man, his "work" partner Twisted Fate as bisexual, and wrote a story about their burgeoning romantic interest in eachother. Many of the queer characters league introduced were new, and some ended up neglected in the vast roster of characters. League has also avoided representation of gay male characters, probably to try to avoid displeasing their mostly straight male audience. Graves and Twisted Fate however, are very established & beloved characters in league, with a complicated history with eachother that started all the way back in 2011. For many years people joked about them "bickering like an old married couple" and in a pride event they officially confirmed it... I think it was very well done and meaningful to see and I really, really hope they further explore it in future cinematics/stories with these two. I really hope it doesn't end up being confined to this one story.

All of that said, though, League's major flaw in their representation is the lack of rep for trans people. The first attempt at a trans character in League was Taliyah. Her creator revealed that they intended for her storyline to involve her experience being a trans girl, but that part of her story was cut by higher ups. Taliyah is pretty much universally accepted as being trans by the community, but the studio did tell designers to keep it on the downlow, which is bullshit. She's been left out of league's pride events and I really hope they remedy that soon.

This post is getting way long I'm sorry but I CANT go without mentioning their other trans character from Legends of Runeterra, the card game they released based of league of legends. LoR actually has more queer representation than any league media, and builds out the world a LOT, through LoR we got confirmation about established character like Miss Fortune and Nami being queer themselves. And most notably, we have a surprisingly amazing representation of a trans character.

Tyari, the Traveler starts off going by he/him, and is starting a journey up the mountain of Targon. It's a treacherous climb but if you make it to the top, you could become an ascended being, basically. So throughout the game, cards of their friends and the people around them have lines support their journey and encouraging them.

When they reach the top, Tyari becomes the Traveler, a goddess-like being with a more feminine voice and appearance. You realize that the journey up the mountain is used as an allegory for her transition, and it throws those interactions with Taric in a whole new light. She is also voiced by trans voice actress Maddie Taylor.

I literally cannot listen to these lines between Tyari and her future self without tearing up. I don't know HOW a league of legends card game managed to put together a decent trans storyline but it guts me.

Tyari is a very beloved character from the card game, many fans want to see more of her in any future league media. (me included, oh my god)

SORRY that was a lot but uh. Tl;dr League representation is hit and miss, they really need to do better and give more representation towards trans people. the only representation outside of Arcane is like. Voice lines and short stories published on their website so I hope they'll creature more in depth queer storylines in future seasons of Arcane, future shows/movies, and their upcoming games around the League IP.

[terra-feminarum]

What surprises me a bit is that we're having this discussion under a post about detransitioned women in the lesbian & bi community; a thing that has very little to do with trans issues.

Anyway, I think I get where you're coming and it's my fault I've simplified things too much so my previous post lacked some nuance there should have been.

You're right, many if not most trans masculine folks have been pressured to be "just a masculine woman", as a last resort, as a thing that is just a tiny bit more palatable to their surroundings than being trans. It is an option that was never considered to be good until they wished to transition, and then being a masculine woman is finally ok. I think the idea behind that is that the cis het folk wish that the person could grow out of being non-conforming; if you transition, then that's it, you're never going to be "normal" again.

In Finland it's almost impossible to transition medically if you're underage. It's not like children and youth are pressured to transition. But what is actually happening is that youth will grow up in an atmosphere were gender roles are more strict than they were in my childhood, it's very heartbreaking to see. They will learn that being a woman is somehow inherently associated with femininity. And there in lot of information available on transition and pretty much zero about being GNC. Many young people actually believe that if they don't conform to the patriarchal gender roles, they are of different gender altogether. Being a masculine woman is something that's frowned upon now from both the mainstream AND the LGBT community; younger people simply thing you're an "egg", that you simply haven't yet realized you're non-binary or a trans man. Being a masculine woman is almost seen as a backwards thing, a threat to the trans movement. And of course it is, because masculine women raise too much uncomfortable questions about gender just by existing and being content in their womanhood.

I definitely had known about masculine women before I transitioned. I knew they were disgusting and pitiful, ugly things. I knew they were women who pretended to be men. Nothing like me. So, I knew they existed but when I felt discomfort about my gender, the solution I found was that I wasn't a woman at all. Why else would I have been disgusted about my body? Women never feel discomfort with their sexualized body parts, right? Women never identify with men in lack of proper female role models, do they?

About my choice of words about transition rates skyrocketing: I agree with you, there's nothing inherently wrong about the amount of trans people increasing. But I think it's concerning. A part of the pain of being trans comes from outside: the discrimination, your existence politicized. That's hard. But a part comes from the gender dysphoria itself. It hurts to hate your body and feel you were born wrong. If some people are like me and they can feel actual, devastating dysphoria but find peace and happiness with their femaleness given enough resources to process their pain about being a woman in patriarchy, I with the latter for them. I know what's gender dysphoria is like and I don't wish it on anyone. It's not like being gay, which doesn't involve inherent suffering, whereas being trans does. Both of course involve the pain of being socially rejected, but that's a societal problem that need changing.

It's interesting how my opinions and experiences were valued when I identified and lived as trans but now, when I have detransitioned, I'm and "useful idiot" as you phrased it. Like I don't have agency, like I lost my intelligence with quitting T. I don't agree with the kind of "terfs" who are more interested in hating trans people than actually advancing women's rights. But I won't be silent about my experiences because someone might use my experience to advance something I don't agree with. (Btw, where do the terfs use me and my experiences? I have never noticed such thing happening. I would love to know if my words are used in a way I wouldn't approve of.)

I know when you're trans you see all critique as a monolith. Hateful conservatives, radical feminists defending female rights and casual transphobes become one blurry mess and you think all these people strive towards same goals. But it's not like that. If you read enough about radical feminism, you will learn they hate the conservative gender system just as much as you guys. You will learn it's not radical feminists who want violence or discrimination against people who deviate from the norm.

You said these narratives no longer affect my life as I have detransitioned. The thing is, as you probably know, FTM transition can never be reversed fully. I'm stuck in this androgynous state of being and people really can't tell the difference between a detransitioned butch woman and a trans masculine person. Whatever people think about me, it doesn't change my opinions. I'm simply trying to be honest with myself about how I understand the world and voice my opinions accordingly.

You said I'm very close to understanding the trans experience but these words are aimed at the wrong person, as you sound exactly like I did years ago. It's not like I don't see your side and understand your points, it's not like I haven't said the exact same things hundreds of times to people who I deemed to be a threat to trans rights. I don't wish you will become me in the future, as detransition is a painful experience I don't wish on anyone, but I wish we - our communities - can have conversations without condescension and with an actual effort to understand each other. I'm not your enemy and you're not mine. In the real life, outside the black and white world of the social media, I'm friends with people who sound a lot like you.

We will have a generation of butch lesbians and masculine bi women who have first transitioned, then detransitioned. This experience is so common it's going to be a prominent part of our community. If you have gone through this, you aren't alone.

We don't have to be ashamed. This is not an individual failing. Our community has faced adversities many times in history. This is the adversity our generation faced, nothing less, but nothing more, either.

It doesn't have to crush us, it can be the glue that reconnects us to the community.

[amethystblack]

Why is there an ever increasing amount of people on internet demanding people refer to them by weird ass pronouns (like bun/bunself or wtv)? or children supposedly needing novel hormones and their perfectly fine genitalia chopped off or else they'll kill themselves? This has never been documented in history... am i the only 1 seeing this nonsense is clearly astroturfed? asking in good faith

oh boy there is so much to unpack here.... you say you're asking in good faith, so i'm going to choose to believe you, but let's come back to that.

i have a number of issues with the way you've phrased this, but i think what you're trying to ask, to put it another way is-- "Why is this happening now? Why are there more and more people with non-cis and divergent gender identities now, and, rather than being a genuine human problem, is it not being artificially pushed as an agenda?"

You're right in your implication that the answer to 'why now' is the internet, but not because of astroturfing or any kind of disingenuous plot. I believe the internet, and the distance, anonymity, and resources it provides, has finally given a large number of people the privacy, confidence and understanding they need to express who they are in ways that most rigid local societies simply would not have permitted before. In addition to that, there have been many in-person LGBT circles over the pre-internet decades and centuries, but the internet has also made all of those communities more visible than they were in the past.

Contrariwise to communication in the present giving people the space to be open to other possibilities, and making it more visible, there is already documented history of divergent gender identities having been actively excluded from history even when they are known to have existed for hundreds of years. History is written by the winners, and for years, the winners have been old christian white men who do not abide homosexuality, let alone practices outside the gender binary. Why would they write into history books for children to learn about?

Your recourse, as I take from the astroturfing comments, is to doubt the sources of those accounts as I doubt the intentions of your history book writers. There are plenty of articles about it all across the internet though-- could they all be lies? Neither of us can actually prove the accuracy of history, so I believe it is best to not waste our efforts with it. Let's focus on the present, and I will give you my personal experience.

I assume you've asked this question to me in particular because you already know I'm trans (which to be fair, is perhaps a mark in the 'good faith' column for you). When I was growing up, I met exactly one other trans person. As a twelve year old, I vaguely felt like, wow that's cool, i wish i could just be a girl too (lol), and to my memory we never talked about it in depth. I also recall, around the same age, having a chat with two other teenage friends who also knew her, where we all agreed in confidence, yeah, being born a girl would've been preferable. To my knowledge, both of them still identify as male today and are happily married to women. A few years later I would ask my first boyfriend to call me his girlfriend, but I had completely forgotten about everything related to being trans-- I just thought, if I were in a gay relationship anyway, that would feel better. Later I had difficulty with a girl I dated because I told her, again having forgotten trans people existed, that I wished to be a girl. My discomfort with my own body and my resulting disinterest in intimacy ultimately led to us breaking up. Three years after that something online finally reminded me that trans people exist, and I finally realized, wait, maybe I am trans??? And began looking into the matter seriously.

The point of me saying all this, is that nothing pushed transness on me in those seven years. I had fully forgotten that it existed even when I technically knew it was a thing, and I felt the way I did independently of it. When I started exploring transitioning, it was because I sought it out. I had those feelings, I wanted a solution, and turned out a solution existed. The increasing prevalence of non-cis gender identities in all directions is because these feelings are, to varying personal degrees, normal, and the means to act on them finally exists. And as society as a whole becomes more accepting, it is safer to make the leap too. Had I been born in a more transphobic time, I might not have decided to transition, opting instead to swallow the dysphoria and self-hatred and live miserably. Or not live at all. In this epoch, I had permission to transition, but I did not get an invitation, let alone have anyone pushing it on me. Hell, I would've liked an invitation.

So this is all to say, though it may not be your experience, dissatisfaction with one's gender and body are not new in the human condition; we can just finally act on them. Thanks to advances in medicine and culture, it is safer than ever, and sure, there are more trans people, but that also means that people have more agency, and are less miserable.

...Now let's talk about all the problems I have with your ask. Let's start with the questions themselves.

Why is there an ever increasing amount of people on internet demanding people refer to them by weird ass pronouns (like bun/bunself or wtv)?

So I read this as two separate questions -- why weird ass pronouns? -- why are they demanding it?

Okay, so neopronouns aren't everyone's cup of tea. I see their increased usage as a matter of-- 'as long as we on the internet here are exploring new ways to respect people and use language, why not have some fun with it?' It's not hurting anyone, so why not? Unfortunately, it gets strawmanned as a way to take trans and especially non-binary people less seriously, so that just sucks for everyone, but I really don't think it's that serious. In my experience, I've never actually met anyone who's been obtuse about them-- it's just "it would be nice" and they've always been reasonable about if people aren't up for that or don't remember it. There is a basic level of flexibility and understanding to assume from normal social conversation, and I assume that most people who use neopronouns aren't about to insist on them right off the street.

...But, shitty people exist in all demographics. And I'm sure there are some who use neopronouns and are very obnoxious about it out there. I really consider that to be a problem with the specific people rather than the concept of neopronouns... but for how often it gets brought up in these arguments vs my personal experience, it really seems blown out of proportion for the sake of delegitimizing trans people. Let me ask you anon, have you ever met someone like that, who asks for that and is combative when it isn't followed to the letter, or is that just a story you've heard secondhand?

or children supposedly needing novel hormones and their perfectly fine genitalia chopped off or else they'll kill themselves?

I think I've answered the why of this already, so I'm going to skip that and just talk about the phrasing-- the hormones are not novel. they are just the normal hormones that exist in people already, and they have the normal effects, but for the opposite gender. it's also pretty rare for children to go out and request that. teenagers, maybe. i would have loved to get on some blockers as a teenager though. as it is, i don't feel like i had much of a teenage life, and that's exactly because i was already so uncomfortable.

'perfectly fine genitilia' is also such a gross phrase. it might be 'perfectly fine' in your view, but it is not your body to make the call on, and you are not the soul living with the discomfort from it. that also is definitely not a thing that happens as much with children, and the reductionistic point of view where [this thing that some trans people choose to do] is now applied to children as a growing social problem sounds to me like some well-workshopped rhetoric. moreover, why are we making an argument over other people's genitals??? to whoever is spreading that one, gross, mind your business.

i imagine the last few paragraphs inspire some amount of defensiveness because i'm just ripping into your phrasing. and that's fine, but set that defensiveness aside and come back to the table with me. i said at the start that i am choosing to believe you're in good faith here, but for reasons apparent in the prior two paragraphs espeically, you really do not sound like you're in good faith here. like, just saying that does not make it so. i am hoping there are real intentions behind those words you've typed.

and if that is the case-- if you really mean that, then respect to you firstly, but i want you to know that, rather than you being in bad faith, wherever you're getting these talking points from, about 'novel hormones', 'bun/bunself', etc, they are not in good faith. you are concerned about disningenuous information in the internet environment, but the arguments you're representing in this ask are coming from people who are themselves disingenuous, taking only the most extreme parts of gender divergence, and needlessly applying them to children as a moralistic charge. i implore you to prioritize your own, personal, actual experiences with real trans people in the world when making judgments about them-- not just the talking points of others about them.

[littlemixnet]

To me, a good ally is someone who is consistent in their efforts – there’s a difference between popping on a pride playlist or sprinkling yourself in rainbow glitter once a year and actually defending LGBT+ people against discrimination. It means showing my LGBT+ fans that I support them wholeheartedly and am making a conscious effort to educate myself, raise awareness and show up whenever they need me to. It would be wrong of me to benefit from the community as a musician without actually standing up and doing what I can to support. As someone in the public eye, it’s important to make sure your efforts are not performative or opportunistic. I’m always working on my allyship and am very much aware that I’ve still got a lot of unlearning and learning to do. There are too many what I call ‘dormant allies’, believing in equality but not really doing more than liking or reposting your LGBT+ mate’s content now and again. Imagine if that friend then saw you at the next march, or signing your name on the next petition fighting for their rights? Being an ally is also about making a conscious effort to use the right language and pronouns, and I recently read a book by Glennon Doyle who spoke of her annoyance and disappointment of those who come out and are met with ‘We love you…no matter what’. I’d never thought of that expression like that before and it really struck a chord with me. ‘No matter what’ suggests you are flawed. Being LGBT+ is not a flaw. Altering your language and being conscious of creating a more comfortable environment for your LGBT+ family and friends is a good start. Nobody is expecting you to suddenly know it all, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a perfect ally. I’m still very much learning. Even recently, after our Confetti music video I was confronted with the fact that although we made sure our video was incredibly inclusive, we hadn’t brought in any actual drag kings. Some were frustrated, and they had every right to be. You can have the right intentions and still fall short. As an open ally I should have thought about that, and I hadn’t, and for that I apologise. Since then I’ve been doing more research on drag king culture, because it’s definitely something I didn’t know enough about, whether that was because it isn’t as mainstream yet mixed with my own ignorance. But the point is we mess up, we apologise, we learn from it and we move forward with that knowledge. Don’t let the fear of f**king up scare you off. And make sure you are speaking alongside the community, not for the community. Growing up in a small Northern working-class town, some views were, and probably still are, quite ‘old fashioned’ and small-minded. I witnessed homophobia at an early age. It was a common thought particularly among men that it was wrong to be anything but heterosexual. I knew very early on I didn’t agree with this, but wasn’t educated or aware enough on how to combat it. I did a lot of performing arts growing up and within that space I had many LGBT+ (mainly gay) friends. I’ve been a beard many a time let me tell you! But it was infuriating to see friends not feel like they could truly be themselves. When I moved to London I felt incredibly lonely and like I didn’t fit in. It was my gay friends (mainly my friend and hairstylist, Aaron Carlo) who took me under their wing and into their world. Walking into those gay bars or events like Sink The Pink, it was probably the first time I felt like I was in a space where everyone in that room was celebrated exactly as they are. It was like walking into a magical wonderland. I got it. I clicked with everyone. My whole life I struggled with identity – being mixed race for me meant not feeling white enough, or black enough, or Arab enough. I was a ‘tomboy’ and very nerdy. I suppose on a personal level that maybe played a part in why I felt such a connection or understanding of why those spaces for the LGBT+ community are so important. One of the most obvious examples of first realising Little Mix was having an effect in the community was that I couldn’t enter a gay bar without hearing a Little Mix song and watching numerous people break out into full choreo from our videos! I spent the first few years of our career seeing this unfold and knowing the LGBT+ fan base were there, but it wasn’t until I got my own Instagram or started properly going through Twitter DMs that I realised a lot of our LGBT+ fans were reaching out to us on a daily basis saying how much our music meant to them. I received a message from a boy in the Middle East who hadn’t come out because in his country homosexuality is illegal. His partner tragically took their own life and he said our music not only helped him get through it, but gave him the courage to start a new life somewhere else where he could be out and proud. There are countless other stories like theirs, which kind of kickstarted me into being a better ally. Another standout moment would be when we performed in Dubai in 2019. We were told numerous times to ‘abide by the rules’, which meant not promoting anything LGBT+ or too female-empowering (cut to us serving a four-part harmony to Salute). In my mind, we either didn’t go or we’d go and make a point. When Secret Love Song came on, we performed it with the LGBT+ flag taking up the whole screen behind us. The crowd went wild, I could see fans crying and singing along in the audience and when we returned it was everywhere in the press. I saw so many positive tweets and messages from the community. It made laying in our hotel rooms s**tting ourselves that we’d get arrested that night more than worth it. It was through our fans and through my friends I realised I need to be doing more in my allyship. One of the first steps in this was meeting with the team at Stonewall to help with my ally education and discussing how I could be using my platform to help them and in turn the community. Right now, and during lockdown, I’d say my ally journey has been a lot of reading on LGBT+ history, donating to the right charities and raising awareness on current issues such as the conversion therapy ban and the fight for equality of trans lives. Stonewall is facing media attacks for its trans-inclusive strategies and there is an alarming amount of seemingly increasing transphobia in the UK today and we need to be doing more to stand with the trans community. Still, there is definitely a pressure I feel as someone in the public eye to constantly be saying and doing the right things, especially with cancel culture becoming more popular. I s**t myself before most interviews now, on edge that the interviewer might be waiting for me to ‘slip up’ or I might say something that can be misconstrued. Sometimes what can be well understood talking to a journalist or a friend doesn’t always translate as well written down, which has definitely happened to me before. There’ve been moments where I’ve (though well intentioned) said the wrong thing and had an army of Twitter warriors come at me. Don’t get me wrong, there are obviously more serious levels of f**king up that are worthy of a cancelling. But it was quite daunting to me to think that all of my previous allyship could be forgotten for not getting something right once. When that’s happened to me before I’ve scared myself into thinking I should STFU and not say anything, but I have to remember that I am human, I’m going to f**k up now and again and as long as I’m continuing to educate myself to do better next time then that’s OK. I’m never going to stop being an ally so I need to accept that there’ll be trickier moments along the way. I think that might be how some people may feel, like they’re scared to speak up as an ally in case they say the wrong thing and face backlash. Just apologise to the people who need to be apologised to, and show that you’re doing what you can to do better and continue the good fight. Don’t burden the community with your guilt. When it comes to the music industry, I’m definitely seeing a lot more LGBT+ artists come through and thrive, which is amazing. Labels, managements, distributors and so forth need to make sure they’re not just benefiting from LGBT+ artists but show they’re doing more to actually stand with them and create environments where those artists and their fans feel safe. A lot of feedback I see from the community when coming to our shows is that they’re in a space where they feel completely free and accepted, which I love. I get offered so many opportunities to do with LGBT+ based shows or deals and while it’s obviously flattering, I turn most of them down and suggest they give the gig to someone more worthy of that role. But really, I shouldn’t have to say that in the first place. The fee for any job I do take that feels right for me but has come in as part of the community goes to LGBT+ charities. That’s not me blowing smoke up my own arse, I just think the more of us and big companies that do that, the better. We need more artists, more visibility, more LGBT+ mainstream shows, more shows on LGBT+ history and more artists standing up as allies. We have huge platforms and such an influence on our fans – show them you’re standing by them. I’ve seen insanely talented LGBT+ artist friends in the industry who are only recently getting the credit they deserve. It’s amazing but it’s telling that it takes so long. It’s almost expected that it will be a tougher ride. We also need more understanding and action on the intersectionality between being LGBT+ and BAME. Racism exists in and out of the community and it would be great to see more and more companies in the industry doing more to combat that. The more we see these shows like Drag Race on our screens, the more we can celebrate difference. Ever since I was a little girl, my family would go to Benidorm and we’d watch these glamorous, hilarious Queens onstage; I was hooked. I grew up listening to and loving the big divas – Diana Ross (my fave), Cher, Shirley Bassey, and all the queens would emulate them. I was amazed at their big wigs, glittery overdrawn make-up and fabulous outfits. They were like big dolls. Most importantly, they were unapologetically whoever the f**k they wanted to be. As a shy girl who didn’t really understand why the world was telling me all the things I should be, I almost envied the queens but more than anything I adored them. Drag truly is an art form, and how incredible that every queen is different; there are so many different styles of drag and to me they symbolise courage and freedom of expression. Everything you envisioned your imaginary best friend to be, but it’s always been you. There’s a reason why the younger generation are loving shows like Drag Race. These kids can watch this show and not only be thoroughly entertained, but be inspired by these incredible people who are unapologetically themselves, sharing their touching stories and who create their own support systems and drag families around them. Now and again I think of when I’d see those Queens in Benidorm, and at the end they’d always sing I Am What I Am as they removed their wigs and smudged their make up off, and all the dads would be up on their feet cheering for them, some emotional, like they were proud. But that love would stop when they’d go back home, back to their conditioned life where toxic heteronormative behaviour is the status quo. Maybe if those same men saw drag culture on their screens they’d be more open to it becoming a part of their everyday life. I’ll never forget marching with Stonewall at Manchester Pride. I joined them as part of their young campaigners programme, and beforehand we sat and talked about allyship and all the young people there asked me questions while sharing some of their stories. We then began the march and I can’t explain the feeling and emotion watching these young people with so much passion, chanting and being cheered by the people they passed. All of these kids had their own personal struggles and stories but in this environment, they felt safe and completely proud to just be them. I knew the history of Pride and why we were marching, but it was something else seeing what Pride really means first hand. My advice for those who want to use their voice but aren’t sure how is, just do it hun. It’s really not a difficult task to stand up for communities that need you. Change can happen quicker with allyship.

Jade Thirlwall on the power, and pressures, of being an LGBT ally: ‘I’m gonna f**k up now and again’

[with-my-murder-flute]

Hi everybody, thanks for the asks letting me know I made the top of @yusuftiddies’ list of Homophobes in TOG Fandom, you can stop sending them now.

So.

I can make mistakes and fuck up and own that. I am serious about listening to marginalized people. But... in this case, while @yusufstiddies generally describes factual events that happened and factual posts that exist, I have to say that I can’t actually apologize for the things I’m called out for because I don’t think they’re homophobic. The things he criticizes me for are things that come from a lot of personal experience as a queer bisexual cis woman, as well as a lot of reflection, research, and study. I believe in them really strongly and stand by them.

I’m really sorry if this makes TOG fandom too hostile, because it is not my intention to make this place so unpleasant that anyone feels driven out. I understand if my stance means people no longer want to follow me/read my stuff/participate in projects I’m involved with (though I’d rather hand off the Research Hub to someone else than see it go down with me). I’m posting this so people can know where they stand before they decide whether to keep interacting with my blog, or “deplatform” me as @yusufstiddies recommends.

I would recommend, for anyone who doesn’t want to see my posts, using Tumblr’s new post content filtering feature. If you type a username (like star-anise or with-my-murder-flute) into it, Tumblr will hide all posts featuring that specific string of characters, and therefore any post or reblog of mine.

To address the accusations against me:

I am an anti-anti: Yes. I’ve reblogged posts of mine about this before. I care passionately about preventing child abuse, but I think there are better ways to prevent child abuse in fandom (like concrete harassment policies so predatory behaviour can be reported and stopped early, and education about digital consent and healthy relationships) than attacking people who write “bad ships,” not least because the first people it hurts are abuse survivors trying to work through their trauma, and because the research says you cannot actually tell who’s a sexual predator based on what they write about.  Fiction affects reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. My mainblog, @star-anise, has a really extensive archive of my writing on the subject.

I said cishet men aren’t more privileged than gay men: Kinda. What I actually did was question whether Every Single Cishet Man benefits from more privilege than Every Single Gay Man. If a man is cishet but gets beaten up because people perceive him as gay, he’s not exactly feeling the warm toasty glow of heterosexual privilege in that moment. Oppression is complicated and there are times when someone’s lack of privilege on one axis is way less important than someone else’s lack of privilege on another axis.

The post above also includes me reblogging someone else’s addition about how straight men can be included in the queer movement: I’m queer. @yusufstiddies has made it very clear that he isn’t comfortable with the word “queer” and doesn’t like it. Therefore I think it’s understandable that he might not understand that the queer community sees ourselves as a coalition of people dedicated to dismantling the structures of sex and gender that oppress us, not a demographic of people whose gender identities or sexual orientations can be neatly mapped. However, I would say that doesn’t make queer theory inherently homophobic.

There are also some related points @yusufstiddies didn’t level at me specifically, but I would like to address:

The constant focus on the unsafeness of cishet people:

I’m not cishet. I’m a bisexual woman who’s dated women. Sixth-light is a queer woman married to a woman. This is not an issue of non-LGBTQ+ people blundering their way into something they don’t experience the daily consequences of. This is an issue of people from WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community who sincerely disagree with @yusufstiddies about the pressures we experience and how best to deal with them. I think that even if @yusufstiddies were to filter his fiction input to only LGBT-written work about LGBT experiences, or even only trans-written work about trans people, he would still find a lot of things he finds upsetting or transphobic, because sexual and gender identities are really diverse and not everything will suit one person.

The contention that saying “’Queer is a slur’ is TERF propaganda” is transmisogyny because it dilutes the definition of “TERF”:

People who point out the phrase is TERF propaganda are not calling every person who says it a TERF, and we are not trying to argue that telling a queer person that queer is a slur is inherently equal to the kind of damage a TERF does when she attacks a trans woman out of transphobia. Queer people being able to use the word “queer” does not have the same importance as trans women being able to live, work, and survive in public. Rather, we are literally saying, “This is a thing TERFs say when they take a break from attacking trans women and try to recruit new members to their group, so it’s in our best interests to not give it too wide a currency.”

Some people have experienced the word “queer” used as a hateful word hurled against them and don’t want to hear it ever again. I get that. It happens. Where I grew up, “gay” was a synonym for “shitty” and it took me a lot of years out of high school before the word “gay” wouldn’t shoot my blood pressure through the roof.  I actually do understand that and think that’s valid (and again, support using post content filtering for that word).

One of the things I do at @star-anise is argue with young people who are headed into full-on transmisogynistic TERF territory, and work at reeling them back and deradicalizing them. I use a tag called “weedwhacking” so my followers can filter out the sometimes lengthy back-and-forths we get going.

Something I’ve learned, interacting with so many TERFs and proto-TERFs, is that one way they frequently get recruited into harassing trans people was through discourse around the word “queer”. For one, it encouraged them to want to distance themselves from any perception of LGBT people as “weird” or “not normal”, which led to seeing trans people as “weird” and “not normal” and therefore not good members of the “gay pride” community. For two, repeating “queer is a slur” predictably causes a lot of queer people to react in a defensive manner, so by teaching young or new people to say it, TERFs can set them up to feel alienated from the larger LGBTQ+ community and more open to TERF propaganda.

The next issue isn’t mentioned in the original callout post, but I think it’s key to this entire issue:

@yusufstiddies has made several posts about what cishet people should and shouldn’t write. For example, cishets shouldn’t write Nicky experiencing internalized homophobia.  Another is a detailed post of things cishets shouldn’t write about trans people, including which sexual positions only trans people are allowed to write. I would imagine that part of his frustration with fandom has been the lack of traction those posts have gotten. I know I very deliberately didn’t reblog them.

That isn’t because I don’t agree that the things he complains about are rarely handled well by cishet authors. I agree that there’s a lot of bad fic out there that contributes to negative stereotypes against LGBTQ+ people and is basically a microaggression to read.

I have two very deeply-seated reasons for my position:

LGBTQ+ identities are different from many other political identities because most people are not born identifiably LGBTQ+. It’s something we have to figure out about ourselves. And one really important way that we do that is using the safety of fiction to explore what an experience would be like, sometimes years before we ever admit that we fit the identity we’ve written about. So banning cishet authors from writing something is really likely to harm closeted and questioning LGBTQ+ people. It will lengthen the amount of time questioning people take before finding the identity that really fits them, and force closeted people to be even more closeted. 

There’s a lot of undeniably shitty stuff in fandom. However, I fundamentally believe that trying to target the people creating it and forcing them to stop doesn’t work very well, and has the serious byproduct of killing the creativity and enthusiasm of the rest of fandom and resulting in less of the actual thing you like being produced. I think that it is infinitely more productive to focus on improving the ratio of good stuff in fandom than trying to snuff out every bad thing.

Like I said: I understand if this means former followers, mutuals, or friends no longer want to interact with me. I’ll be saddened, but I’ve obviously chosen this path and can deal with the consequences. 

I wish this could have worked out differently.

[13yearslater]

Rights in the UK

I don’t really know what I’m about to write as I start this, but I’ve been feeling some feelings lately about the social and political climate surrounding trans people.

I’m grateful to be in the UK, which relatively speaking is a fairly progressive and safe country for trans people compared to many others. 

But I am still scared.

I’m not scared that I will be individually targeted and assaulted in the street. Although the 2,500 hate crimes against transgender people last year alone (a 210% increase since 2015/16) suggests that maybe my lack of concern is the privileged complacency of not being visibly trans, especially when we see that 81% of LGBT people don’t even report the hate crimes against them. That complacency lives on a tightrope however; I am one incident away, one incident of my trans status falling into the wrong hands, from realising that I am not immune to the abuse that I see my local trans sisters face on a daily basis.

And how confident would I be that any hate crime I were to experience would be dealt with appropriate and effectively? Well given that Scottish minister Humza Yousaf very almost pushed through amendments to Scotland’s Hate Crime & Public Order Bill that would directly exclude transgender people I may, perhaps naively, expect the police and courts to provide protection and justice for me now, but I am constantly reminded of just how fragile my protections are and how they can be snatched away at any given moment, and with public support. 

What really scares me is the disregard for our rights and the increasing amounts of ‘anti trans’ pressure groups in the UK who are continuing to gain support and traction, including many that are LGBT based wishing to exclude us from their community entirely. 

1. Gender Recognition Act

The Gender Recognition Act is one example I will address. This act is the means that trans people in the UK use to legally change their gender and acquire an updated birth certificate. This is a sixteen year old, heavily bureaucratic, expensive and lengthy process. It requires a payment of £140 and the following, many of which are also not free to obtain:

a) The requirement for the trans person to provide two medical reports, one evidencing a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and the other outlining details of any treatment received; 

b) The requirement for the trans person to provide a range of documentation that proves they have lived in their acquired gender for at least two years; 

c) The requirement for the trans person to submit a statutory declaration of their intention to live in their acquired gender until death; 

d) The requirement for married applicants to obtain the consent of their spouse or end their marriage;

e) The cost to the trans person of using the GRA process

It’s the very reason that over a decade later, I still have not obtained my gender recognition certificate. And given that an average of 300 GRC applications are processed each year compared to the estimated 200,000 to 500,000 trans people in the UK, I suspect I’m not the only one. 

So anyway, in 2018 there was a consultation about the Gender Recognition Act with over 100,000 respondents and promises to reform this act. The response was hugely positive with the vast majority supporting the reform. It highlighted all the issues with the process that is preventing trans people gaining legal recognition. We were all hopeful, and many of us who had been awaiting this moment to gain our own GRCs sat in wait. Unfortunately, two years later, the government announced that they had decided to scrap plans to reform the GRA altogether stating that this was not the priority for trans people. The consultation was also considered to be biased due to too many positive responses; despite only ~20% of respondents being trans themselves and ~20% being from all called upon by anti-trans groups such as Fair Play for Women.

2. The Keira Bell case

I don’t wish to get into the finer details of the case itself or my opinions on the matters involved, but to give a brief overview, a woman who transitioned and received puberty blockers at age 16, testosterone at age 17 and a double mastectomy at age 20. She later detransitioned and went on to sue the NHS (National Health Service) claiming that she was not challenged enough and that under 18s cannot consent to treatment such as puberty blockers with the aim to prevent the prescription of puberty blockers for all trans youth. 

Long story short, she was successful and the Tavistock clinic, ie the only gender identity clinic in the UK that treats trans people under the age of 18, is no longer able to prescribe puberty blockers to anyone under the age of 16, with those between 16-18 having to seek approval via court first.

If we take a look at who was involved in this court case we see Keira Bell herself and her mother as the claimants and the Tavistock clinic as the defendant. For the interested parties who had direct input into this case we had “Mrs A” - the mother of a 15yr old autistic child displaying gender dysphoria who is firmly against her child being able to access a gender clinic (interestingly, any of her input was regarded as purely hypothetical since her child had never attended, nor would ever attend a gender identity clinic), we also had Transgender Trend - an anti-trans pressure group and finally, we have the University College of London who are not gender specialists. Meanwhile, groups such as Mermaids who are a well-known charity aimed at supporting trans children and Stonewall who are campaigners for LGBT rights in the UK both applied and were both denied access to this case. The judge of course did also not have any authority on the subject. 

My issue here is yet again, how fragile my rights and protections feel and my ever waning confidence that government or legal processes are in any way fair and balanced. This was not a fair trial; there was no balance in stances, other than the defendant there were no gender specialists or even anyone heavily involved in the lives and care of trans people. The majority of interested parties were there with a firm agenda, and those that countered their beliefs were not allowed through the doors.

Puberty blockers are not an issue that affect me directly, but if a biased court taking the likes of “Mrs A” and her ‘theoretical’ input over reputable charities with a wealth of knowledge, experience and expertise can be created to make such rulings and remove healthcare from an entire demographic of people then what is stopping that happening to my healthcare? Nothing, that’s what.

3. The census

Our census takes place every ten years and has always allowed transgender individuals to choose the sex that aligns with their passport. For me personally, selecting male feels like a far more accurate representation of my place in society, my legal status and my physicality along with the fact that I have been listed as male in previous census forms. 

This year however, a second question was added. This questions asks “do you identify with your sex assigned at birth” with the options being yes or no and a box to enter further information when selecting no. The official guidance on the first question remained the same, stating that it was appropriate to select the sex that aligned with passports or legal documents. The first question allows data to be gathered on men and women, the second question allows data to be gathered specifically on the number of transgender individuals and other identities such as non binary - the two questions are entirely independent of each other and will generate separate sets of data.

But today, it came to light that anti-transgender pressure group, Fair Play for Women crowdfunded £100,000 to challenge this and bring it to court. This was successful and the official guidance has now changed to exclude all legal documents except a gender recognition certificate - which as previously mentioned, only a small percentage of trans people actually have due to the long, expensive and bureaucratic process involved in obtaining one. 

Personally, I don’t really mind if I have to tick female to a question that asks my sex at birth. The question doesn’t explicitly ask for sex at birth however and is more aimed at showing the demographics of the UK for which female is absolutely not accurate for me. What bothers me is that a group have raised £100,000 from the public to ensure that we can’t select an accurate representation of who we are and our place in society and that it was approved.

4. The toilet provision

This has flown under the radar due to Covid-19 but the government recently held a consultation around public toilets. It seems fairly innocent at first glance. Except again, we’re seeing these anti-trans pressure groups calling for action amongst their followers, some with the call to ‘protect single sex spaces’. Could this be the beginnings of American-style bathroom bills in the UK? 

---

So yes, I am scared. I’m scared by the fragility of my rights and freedoms; how easy they are to peel away bit by bit and how it passes by with little notice nor care, or in some cases with public support and even funding. I’m scared of the people who are given the power to make decisions about our rights based on no prior knowledge of experience of trans issues. I’m scared that we will be alienated and excluded from our LGBT spaces and supports. Will I be looking back in ten years, eternally grateful that I was able to transition when I did? Grateful for the gender clinics of today with their six year waiting lists? Will I live in a time where I must disclose my trans status on every document, at every job? Will I live in a time where I must provide my sex in order to use the gym? Will there be a time that I am not able to legally change my gender? I’m scared by the hostility of society, at times their vehement opposition to us existing amongst them, their disregard for the importance of our healthcare and all too often the anger that our ‘cosmetic’ surgeries are covered at all. 

In a time that my life and rights feel like a debate, unimportant and constantly at the mercy of others, in a time that members of the public will raise huge amounts of money just to stop people like you ticking a box on a form, you’re damn right I’m scared for the future. 

[sweetescapeartist]

MY VIEWS OF BLACK & LGBTQ STUFF

If you don't care about this stuff, skip over it. I don't like talking about this often but at times I speak about it. I'd rather talk about anime & DBZ, but this is one of those times I don't.

I at times speak on stuff that ppl may consider political. I see it as logical or historical. First is...

LGBTQ

I honestly think its too confusing and I don't have time to try to keep up with all the terms and definitions because I don't care that much. It was supposed to be about unity but all it has done is caused more division because there are too many labels. How many sexual preferences and identities are there? Idk but there's more than the amount of fingers I have.

I don't hate ppl who are part of it because only an idiot hates ppl. Besides, I have relatives that are gay or lesbian. I simply disagree with the act for my own personal reasons. Some of it has to do with being a black man. That leads into racial relationships.

BLACK (& other "races")

Most ppl say racist things out of ignorance or because they like to purposefully be ignorant. I'm multi-racial, so I respect all "races" especially since race is truly just a construct that doesn't actually exist because we are of the human race/species. Do animals divide by race or is it only ppl who do that to take advantage of another person?

And I may be "multi-racial" but I have the appearance of a black man, thus I am black to society. Despite that I have European and Native American ancestry. Think about Latinos. Aren't they just ppl with South American Indian ancestry? The Americas were the land of the natives, so all of the descendants currently are of Native American ancestry. Why is race there to divide?

I choose to learn and not be ignorant and let society tell me what to think about race or sexuality. Their standards change all the time and society will give ppl the illusion of change to shut them up.

Now my thoughts about LGBT in the black community... I don't like the action because I'm straight, BUT I ain't gonna treat others with hate. Naturally, humans have a need to reproduce. There's nothing wrong with being straight because if straight ppl did not exist, there would be no lesbian or gay ppl. We would all die out. Now back to the black community...

Do your reseach of the effect homosexuality has had on black ppl throughout history. Slaves in the Americas specifically (& other places too) were "buckbroken." Don't know what that is?

BUCKBREAKING

Imagine your child is being beaten up by adults or being sold off and you are restrained and forced to watch. Imagine your wife or mother or sister or daughter or son or brother or father or even you yourself are raped in front of everyone by a man or group of men & they humiliate you (or your loved ones) over and over.

Buck - blacks weren't viewed as human & dehumanized.

Breaking - break the will & spirit of the strong with inhumane tactics.

All of this is to break your will power so you don't fight back for your freedom. If you fight back, you will be publicly raped, beaten, sold away from your family, limbs amputated, murdered, eaten by slave owners, and other kinds of torture.

There were many gays involved in slavery & even a trans-woman slave owner increased slavery in the U.S. All of this plus more is ignored. Why don't the LGBTQ community address and try to solve these traumatic issues that still affect the black community today? Because they don't care to fix it OR they are not told about it. (Not every individuals, but the group as a whole. I ain't a fan of groups.)

Even the rainbow flag was used by black ppl first. The Rainbow Coalition. Uniting ppl of all colors to stop oppression. Then the leaders were assassinated by the government, the Rainbow Coalition was sued, then the rainbow flag was adopted as the gay pride flag (a.k.a. the LGBTQ pride flag in current day).

CONCLUSION

I can't side with any group of ppl that disrespects the group I am a part of. I respect individuals who show they are deserving of respect & I don't promote hate. Why treat ppl the same or worse than I & my people have been treated? That's stupid to do so & shows that a person has fears of the other person being better than them, so they attack them. I fear no man. Each individual is better than each other in some sort of way. That's what makes ppl unique. Fearing & hating a group of ppl is just silly to me. Ppl change so I won't hate a person.

I like to know things so history doesn't repeat itself with me. Being informed is very important. Otherwise, you're following someone blindly & you don't even know who you're following. THAT sounds foolish to me.

[lifewithchronicpain-original]

I have something I want to say but want to forewarn that this is a political post and will be discussing HIV/AIDS. Also I won’t be adding to this, so feel free to comment but if you’re looking for a debate, I have promised my followers to limit purely political talk especially about the upcoming US election. This will probably be the only post I make where I mention who I’m voting for and why I hope others will do so too.

I think there’s no question that Trump’s response to this virus has been nothing less than horrifying and rage inducing. Not only that, we are dealing with a virus that has features we’re not used to dealing with. The amount of asymptomatic patients might be really high for this particular virus and is why the policy on face masks changed direction. We as a species are not used to the concept that you can be healthy and still infect and kill someone else. So it forces a societal responsibility some portion of the population will always have difficulty understanding and instinctually rebel at. Barring the outright fascist I know a lot of people have been confused by Trump and many may think that’s their own fault but I think it’s a lot to expect people who aren’t generally taught in public schools how to think instead of what to think. Of course that’s a whole nother debate so i’ll leave that thought there. But still many people are espousing beliefs of which the ultimate implication is that elderly and disabled people, which I can’t believe I have to remind people of this: Includes Young People and Children, are disposable and be sacrificed at the altar of the economy.

What I’m getting at not the first time a virus changed the rules, like the 1918 flu and the bubonic plague. But I’m thinking more recently, HIV/AIDS. The virus was novel, difficult to detect. In fact when I was young HIV tests took time and you always had to take to two. Drugs were effective in extending life beyond the initial horrifying death rate. It wasn’t until the new century did we start to make HIV the chronic livable condition that it can be for many, though still not all.

When HIV/AIDS first came about it was already an outbreak in Africa, no a gay man didn’t have sex with a monkey. Very specific underserved, and impoverished places in Africa were colonists forced natives into poverty, forced them to rely on chimpanzee meat. This is the accepted origin of AIDS which potentially first entered the human population in the early 19th century, had outbreaks in the 50s,60, and 70s before it finally left Africa in an increasingly globally connecte world in the 80’s. Someone simply migrated from Africa or traveled to Africa and came to LA where the first cases in the US were noted and that unknown person happened to be gay. AIDS has been around for some time and evolved into what it is now. When AIDS hit the Californian gay community, it also hit hatians, hemopholiacs, and hypodermics (drug users) and was called the 4H disease along with being the Gay Cancer. AIDS looked like it discriminated, but it never did. Like most disease it hits vulnerable populations first, gets a foothold and then starts ravaging an entire population.

Reagan didn’t give a shit. Despite numerous cases among heterosexuals (no, one lone bi man didn’t spread it to the straights ruining sex for everyone) that existed, it was still predominantly considered the gay cancer so no one would fault him for doing nothing. At least no one that matters to those people. When the dead started to pile up, when the lgbt community cried out in pain at the funerals that were happening every day, at the gay and bi men and trans women left to die by their families, the community activists lost, and lesbians leaving separatist communities to care for the dying because the straights wouldn’t. We staged die-ins to get attention, Act Up started in response to the government’s lack of doing anything at all about AIDS. Towards the end of Reagan’s presidency he finally did something and is pretty much praised by historians for doing so. For me, Reagan’s legacy is one of taking money from hard working people like my parents trying to eke our a living, and for leaving a trail of dead at-risk groups he didn’t give one fuck about.

Not unlike trump doing something, his useless travel bans, and trying to act like all that absolves his inaction that has directly lead to the deaths of thousands of people. His willful lack of testing because he doesn’t want the numbers to go up. Regardless of the fact that people have the virus whether we test it or not, and when we don’t more die. He goes on TV not because he’s leading a country through crisis, it’s because he wants to spin his narratives and he likes the ratings. He’s trying to turn this pandemic and the deaths of thousands into the Trump Show.

We’ve been here before. Not a thousand years ago, not a hundred years ago, but 35-40 years ago. It’s an example of an outbreak with modern medicine where precious time was lost because politicians and the person at the very top dragged their feet, because who cares about the gays and the drug addicts and the disabled who need transfusions and black people? Now today it’s who really cares about elderly, the disabled, and the disproportionately hit black and poor people?

Certainly not our president.

For those who live in the US and have considered not voting for Biden because it’s not Bernie or someone else, plus you have legitimate issues Biden or want to go 3rd party, consider this: For all Biden’s faults (and there are many) he’s not going to do nothing about this pandemic that has every possibility of hitting us really hard again this fall as it coincides with the seasonal flu. I never wanted to vote for Biden, I voted for Warren, but in a matter of life and death you have to vote your head not your heart, because in this particular case I feel like doing nothing against trump, not even using the only political power many disabled people have, you might as well be endorsing Trump.

Please support Biden in this upcoming election not because he’a traditionally a good fit for moderate politics, but because he has experience in a federal pandemic response and he won’t drag his feet. This will save lives and for me, that’s The Only issue coming this November. I am voting for Biden not because he’s my man, I’m voting for him because I don’t want to die and I believe he will immediately back an evidence based response for the pandemic from the ground running.

Thanks for hearing me out.

[bondsmagii]

what embarassing/annoying things lgbt people do online? I dont spend a lot of time on the internet outside of my niche so im genuinely curious

god where do I even start… to be honest I’ve always been wary of communities in general because personal experience has taught me that things get weird fast, but I’ve never seen anything quite like LGBT circles online. some of the things I notice fairly frequently:

making everything about being LGBT to a freaky level; I just don’t think it’s healthy to have your gender and/or sexuality be your entire personality

related to this, making everything the x experience – the gay experience, the trans experience, etc. many of the things mentioned are things that everyone experiences, and most disturbingly, many of the things lauded as the x experience are actually symptoms of extreme trauma (feeling like there’s something inherently wrong with you, feeling lonely, constantly yearning but not knowing for what, etc). even if this trauma is related to your being LGBT, it isn’t healthy and people shouldn’t be accepting it as normal and encouraging it in others. trauma isn’t natural.

the top/bottom thing. like. ugh. I’m a dude in a relationship with another dude so this really makes me uncomfortable. the importance put on if someone is a top or a bottom, assigning personality traits to people based on this, saying stupid shit like “bottoms can’t park” or whatever, and just the extreme fascination with if someone is a top or a bottom… it’s very fetishising. even if people are talking about themselves, that’s still a detail of your sexual life that I do not want to know. it’s not appropriate to talk like that in front of strangers.

going on from this, how overly sexual a large chunk of the community seems to be. it’s not appropriate. I know this one isn’t LGBT specific, but in my personal experiences my straight/cis friends do not talk like this, but if someone finds out I’m LGBT too, they seem to think it’s fine to start talking in detail about their sex life/ask me invasive questions about mine. it’s not fine.

the really fetishising treatment of male/male couples even in the LGBT community is really… not good. my relationship isn’t a cute commodity that only exists for your fandoms.

the misandry is absolutely atrocious. lesbians are out there thinking it’s fine to declare men useless just because they don’t need us for sex; bi women are out there lamenting the fact they’re attracted to us disgusting men and why couldn’t they just be a lesbian. I’ve even seen bi women say they’re going to just ignore their attraction to men and choose women, perpetrating harmful myths that a) you can choose your sexuality and b) bisexuals are just faking and are capable of just “picking a side”.

the community has an extreme problem with policing one another and a lot of issues that they spend time and energy debating are pointless and just stupid, if I’m honest.

the fact that vehement hate is seen as OK so long as it’s directed against straight, cis people. it’s not.

the fact that cis, straight people can’t even mention the above point without being ripped apart, ridiculed, harrassed, insulted, and threatened is also not OK.

the diluting of actual important terms. “transphobia” and “homophobia” grow murkier by the day; people are being accused of these incredibly serious prejudices over stupid Tumblr arguments that rarely have anything to do with actual issues or aggressions.

the idea that if you’re LGBT you’re automatically free of blame, innocent, can do no wrong, etc. there are nasty people of every gender and sexuality. you’re not except from being abusive, oppressive, etc just because you yourself are a minority.

the fact that people out there reclaiming “queer” think they can call everyone in the LGBT community “queer” and if someone protests they’re “speaking over” them or setting back the movement or whatever. I have no problem if you identify that way, but I am not queer. I’m bi.

at least on this website it’s L rather than LGBT: ➡ gay men are shat on almost as badly as straight men, unless they’re trans, and then they’re treated like cute uwu transboys who are somehow exempt from the hatred levelled at cis men, proving that these people don’t see them as “real” men. ➡bi people (if acknowledged as bi and not just the umbrella term “gay”) suffer from a whole lot of internal prejudices, with bi women being seen/encouraged to be “lesbians” and bi men just not fucking mentioned at all. also we’re usually completely forgotten about; characters can’t be bi, they have to be gay (and shipping them with a member of the opposite sex is seen as “erasure”) or they’re straight. ➡ trans people get incredible amounts of transphobia within the community from cis LGBT people; trans men, as mentioned above, aren’t treated as “real” men and are seen as Men Lite™, and the arguments for this (that they don’t share the same chemical biology as men; that they were “raised as girls”) are transphobic and also dysphoric as hell. trans women get shit from all sides and there’s an incredible TERF problem in the community, especially among lesbians. 

basically everyone is infighting, perpetrating harmful myths, speaking over people, forcing adherence to behaviours many might not be comfortable with, and generally being generalising, inappropriate, and wholly embarrassing. the way the community has got on over the last few years alone has probably set the movement back a decade.

[thevagueambition]

Currently in Denmark, after an actor uploaded a video of him yelling at a bearded man wearing a dress (basically offering to lend him shaving equipment), there has been a lot of attention on hate crimes towards queer people who dress in ways that do not adhere to gender norms, primarily gay men and non-binary people. 

After that video was uploaded and the guy in the video, Aleksander Aarstad, expressed great discomfort at the video being up, the actor’s social media posts were flooded with rainbow flags and he eventually apologised, both publicly and to Aleksander personally -- who, for his part, is somewhat sceptical if glad to have received it. The actor has suggested they meet up for a cup of coffee to talk things through and when Aleksander spoke to the media, he had not yet decided whether to accept the offer or not. 

The event gained a lot of media attention and articles about hate crimes towards this group more generally were written, with eg the public broadcaster interviewing three other people about their experiences and LGBT+ Danmark expressing that the number of hate crimes documented by the police in Denmark is far below the actual amount that take place. 

The general reaction from the public seems to be sympathetic to Aleksander and others like him, with overtly supportive comments and those in the vein of “just let people dress like they want to, who cares” or “of course one might look twice, but one shouldn’t yell at people” being the most common ones. 

There were demonstrations in a few different cities yesterday titled “dresses against hate crimes” where the conceit was to show up dressed in a dress or in a gnc manner (though there were no hard rules) which was extensively reported on, attended by all the big LGBTQ organisations (eg, the man to the far right in the black dress is Lars Henriksen, leader of Copenhagen Pride) and gained support from outside the community, too. 

There has been some fear that, since the actor in question is Iranian-Danish, that this could add fuel to the homonationalist fire and general islamophobia and racism within the community, but I thankfully haven’t seen much in the way of that (although that I haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening, of course). It might have helped that several of the people who were loudest about the incident also had Middle Eastern backgrounds, eg Elijah Kashmir Ali, co-organiser of the event. 

Although the event that sparked it is obviously horrible, the media attention on it and the way it has let to more attention on these types of hate crimes in general has left me hopeful. The article by the public broadcaster also included definitions of the terms “cisgender”, “intersex”, “non-binary” and “transgender”, terms that are not well understood by the general public and in the case of the first three usually not mentioned in mainstream media. The media and public response to this seems a positive sign of changing times, even while documenting the underbelly of homophobia and transphobia in public spaces that the country usually pretends does not exist (Copenhagen, the most LGBTQ friendly city? Please). I remember how hard it was to get media attention on trans courses a few years ago when we were trying to get the medical guidelines changed. This is a pretty different situation, but still. The attention is a good sign.

[wosoenthusiast]

Webinar: Celebrating LGBT+ Inclusion at Chelsea

I know this event was not recorded so here are some notes from the “Celebrating LGBT+ Inclusion at Chelsea” webinar. Please note: these are NOT direct quotes!! I didn’t start taking super detailed notes until a few minutes into the panel, sorry about that. And I did a quick read through but I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.

The panel included Chris Gibbons (moderator), Pernille Harder, Sara Matthews, Graeme Le Saux, and Funke Awoderu

----- 

Chris: introduced each panelist and talked a little about rainbow laces

Graeme: (general point: we’ve made a lot of progress in the last 5-10 years, especially since I retired. Sorry, I wasn’t taking as detailed notes right at first)

Funke: (general point: Authentic support is so important.)

Sara: Sport brings people together. Chelsea is a brand with international following and a huge platform. Zero tolerance policy for a long time, internal and external. Demonstrating by doing not just by saying. Want to understand their demographic, look at areas where they are less diverse and how to address that. Look at who works in football, show a different type of recruitment.

Chris: I was nervous about being an out gay man coming into working at the FA. I asked in my interview about whether it was an open environment for a gay man and got a very thorough answer about anti-discrimination policies. Has that developed?

Funke: Yes, if you can’t see it, you can’t be it. Data tells us something. Use it well to inform you plans. Proud of the LGBTQ+ people in the FA and their contributions. Don’t want to put people in boxes so we are trying to build a progressive, diverse environment. Learn from others and people’s lived experiences. Listen to the stories people tell. We’re on the right road. If you can’t see it, you can’t be it. And it needs to happen on the leadership level.

Chris: Welcome to Chelsea, Pernille. I want to understand your experience of culture in the women’s game- previous clubs, international, and now being new to Chelsea. Women’s game is known for being open. What are your thoughts/experiences?

Pernille: Women’s’ football has always been open about homosexuality. Locker room and fans are very open. In Denmark environment- I wasn’t out, not comfortable. No one else was homosexual. It’s important that you don’t feel alone. I felt a difference right away when I came to Sweden, it was so normalized. I felt I could be myself which is the most important thing.

Graeme: I agree so much. If you feel you’re isolated, it stops you being yourself and others being themselves too. Infrastructure and support and work being done outside the game holding football accountable. Learning from other environments that are further ahead in inclusivity. Pernille, I’m curious, do you think not being out in Denmark held you back?

Pernille: It might, I didn’t think about it at the time. [After coming out], I felt more calm and secure and like I could be 100% self. I felt more honest with myself. It feels better when you trust yourself and what you’re doing. It reflects when you play too.

Chris: Where does it come from? Fans, locker room, Chelsea? What creates a positive, inclusive environment?

P: All individuals are open minded. No one uses sexuality or religion in a negative way. Comes from teammates, staff, everything around you. [It’s important that] the highest leaders in the club are inclusive, affects everyone underneath and what values to act from.

Sara: Reading on stonewalls website 43% of LGBTQ+ people don’t feel welcome at public events (not sure about this stat), such a shame. Being at Kingsmeadow, wow, what a different number that would be. A great place to come enjoy sport and feel very welcome and be a positive perception change.

Chris: We have lots of women’s team fans with us. Go to Chelsea women’s games!! (Mentions Chelsea Pride group and a few other groups and initiatives.) Graeme, why is a group like this so important? Why did you want to be a patron?

Graeme: To get honest feedback from people, get perspectives. Groups of different communities and perspectives are so important. They are a signpost for people who don’t have the confidence or support around them in their own lives. Can help people get into watching football and know that it’s a safe space. Every space should be safe of course, which is the next chapter- people don’t have to work under and umbrella to feel safe and welcome. It’s all built on trust and openness. Willingness to admit you might not get everything right all the time.

Chris: Pernille, you haven’t had much chance to engage with fans at Kingsmeadow, but why do you think these groups are important?

P: It’s important to feel a part of something and not alone. Groups like that help with this. Yesterday, we finally had fans back, 700 I think. I can’t wait to get more. In women’s football, fans love football, they don’t care who you are- sexuality, skin color.

Chris: Funke mentioned before the diversity of LGBTQ+. Trans people still feel a lot of barriers in taking part in sport. In 2014, the FA published policy on trans participation. Do you think football is becoming more inclusive for trans people?

Funke: This is one area that the whole game needs to collaborate better. LGBTQ+ identities are all lumped together right now. Lots of differences in LGBTQ+ community that we’re not considering, more conversations around gender identity, inclusion, education- we need to do the work around the journey for LGB work and apply it to trans inclusion. Now more than ever. There’s so much toxicity and miseducation. If we’re true to ‘the game is for everybody’, we can’t leave trans community behind. To come out as trans is not an easy thing to do, LGB people can pass but trans people sometimes cannot. Educate ourselves, use that to inform policy

Chris: How does that reflect what clubs are doing?

Sara: On the subject of intersectionality- we have to be honest. The data we have today is very recent. People are reluctant to report honestly, there may be fear. From an employer of choice perspective and perception- it’s about fairness, change the stereotype (like who works in football). We’re talking about diversity and inclusion every day. Huge range of departments which means you can bring in a huge range of people with different skills and experiences. You can create a different culture for the organization. Starts at recruitment, put forward the culture of the organization. When she sits in interviews, people ask about DEI, sustainability, corporate social responsibility. People expect their organization to have a narrative and verbalize what they think and feel about discrimination. Chelsea has stepped forward and said zero tolerance but message needs to be confirmed internally. Much more to be done. Education and information- it was not too long ago when women weren’t prevalent in the workforce, but it’s changed. Change happens fast. Lots of new and different people entering the workforce. Listen to people with different perspectives and points of view. We can create a better employee environment by making it so no one is ‘the other’, which comes with diversity

Chris: People have seen news about fans booing when people kneel and other negative reaction and that’s what sticks. What more needs to be done to tackle culture of hate in the stands? ..... Pernille, do you hear much discriminatory language in the stands at women’s game? What’s your experience?

P: No, fan culture is very different in men’s and women’s football. Men’s football is so big so there are a lot of different football fans. It’s difficult to say what to do to change it. It’s important to do something and act. Responsibility of players and other fans- trying to create a different fan culture. Standing up when you hear something. Players need to be stubborn and must stand up for each other.

Chris: Do you think if there was abuse, the response form the women’s game would be robust and quick? More solidarity [than in men’s football]?

P: I don’t know because I haven’t experienced it. I guess so

Graeme: It’s great that you haven’t experienced that. That’s a really big plus.

Chris: Chelsea was the first club to introduce fan re-education (like if a fan was banned for certain language anti-Semitism, they’d have a chance to learn more about why that language was not acceptable). Player re-education exists. How do we get fans to understand this better?

Graeme: It’s important to understand context of where it’s coming from, help someone overcome prejudice by learning something new. Doesn’t send out the right message to just throw someone out. There are a lot of things we grow up with contribute to this ignorance, so figure out where it’s coming from. Set boundaries of what we will and won’t tolerate. Give people a chance to own up to their mistakes. I’ve made some big mistakes in my career and been punished. I was taught to be honest, deal with consequences, and move on. That might remove external pressure. Make transition a bit smoother [as football moves forward], bring more people along

Chris: Funke’s been involved with the Rainbow laces campaign since early days. What impact do you think it has on the pro and grassroots game?

Funke: Immeasurable impact. Every start of the campaign gets better and better with the amount of support. It connect with adult and youth football. People love what the campaign stands for and want to get behind it and support it. Normalizing the playing field, this is a great opportunity to demonstrate the values and culture of your club. Challenge: how to continue to innovate and be creative in conversations and take it to the next level. It continues to grow and grow. More and more, people are taking a personal stand and educating themselves. Campaign has been a success but we won’t rest on our laurels. We must continue.

Chris: I tell youth players about the rainbow laces campaign and they sort of roll their eyes because they learn about and talk about this in school (and with their peers). The culture moving forward will be much more inclusive with the next generation of players. Do you think this will happen in clubs? (I didn’t quite catch this question but I think this is what he asked)

Sara: Yes. People wanted to be associated and show support, bummer we aren’t working at Stamford bridge in person. The next generation is going to be so important. There’s a lot of hate, and standing up against all of is important. People do want to learn- the more you learn, the less afraid you are to ask questions. People are still afraid of offending sometimes too but we’re moving toward really celebrating difference.

Chris: (reads a submitted question out loud about how Pernille is a role model and inspired this person to come out and be themselves) Pernille, how does it feel to be a role model for LGBTQ+ people, not only in sport?

Pernille: It’s great to hear this question. When I was younger, I missed some role models who were homosexual. I try to live as if it’s nothing special. I’m just myself, not hiding anything. That means showing pictures with my girlfriend and just acting normally. I don’t want to do something that doesn’t feel genuine. A lot of people like that I’m just myself and not embarrassed [about being homosexual].

Chris: There are people out there that think you’re a role model too, Graeme. Do you have a sense of the importance of role models?

Graeme: Once you have a profile, you recognize responsibilities associated with that. Whether you like it or not, you become a role model. None of us set out to be a role model. If you take money from sponsors because they think you can sell the product, you should be happy to be a role model, comes with the territory. Some people are more suited to that so it’s important to not hold people to go beyond their comfort. I take great pride in my ability to support things I believe in. I support in public and private and I don’t share everything about myself in public. Stand up and support values and principles, even when it’s not related to me. I was very alone in experience of defending myself [from rumors of being gay] while supporting people around me. It’s a big challenge in many ways. I will always do what I do out of principle. With a profile, you can reach more people.

Chris: Another question for Sara and Funke- what is the club’s response to supporters who have troll comments on rainbow laces posts? Should the club work harder to block and remove those comments?

Sara: The club won’t be dissuaded from doing the right thing. Follow discrimination laws- we will support and take action. Block and report when they can on social media. We do see other people who are posting challenge those comments. Those are important parts, have to work with social media companies, it’s not just trolling in football. Social media companies have to help as well to help manage this

Funke: Any organization driven by principles and values, there will always be haters sharing their view. We take the same measures that Sara just said. Year to year, the ecosystem conversation, calling people out, challenging people back. We know those comments will come. Work with social media companies to have more coordinated effort to take things down. Threshold for football is higher compared to those organizations [social media companies], makes it challenging to take things down immediately 

Chris: Graeme and Pernille, do you deal with trolls?

P: yes, there are a few. There will always be haters, especially when you speak up about your opinion. I mostly ignore them and focus on the positive. More positive than negative, positive people will comment on the negative which is amazing

G: yes, I do. I don’t like to give those people oxygen. As soon as you start engaging, you risk it escalating. Turn to social media companies for support too.

Chris: That’s the end of the hour, thanks all for your time! I’m so looking forward to where these conversations will go in the future.

[spiralsketchbook]

I’ll probably lose followers for this, and I think the people who block this out are the people who need to hear it the most. 

I’d like to preface this with this argument is fucking stupid. There are better things to be pissed about. I am only participating so that people who disagree with me can see themselves out if they really feel so strongly about it and my dash can be clean. 

Also, yes. It hurts to be excluded. It really does. No one should feel like they aren’t being represented or that they’re being represented in a bad way, but that isn’t what is going on here. 

Having a flag missing from a piece of art made by and for a corporation pandering to the queer community is not any sort of -phobia. -phobia has a role in society and consolidating flags is not it. 

1. The google doodle that I am seeing most criticized is of Marsha P Johnson, most well known for her role in the Stonewall Riot. I may be wrong, but it wasn’t the lesbian community raging behind and beside the trans people who were being attacked that night or any other night. Lesbian individuals, sure. But the community? Not really, but again, I might be wrong. Either way I could make the argument that the trans flag should have been the only one behind her because it is trans people who have been at the forefront of the Pride movement as a political movement, which is what the doodle was honoring. 

2. They did a really good job if this is the sort of thing that we feel the need to get pressed about now. “My flag is missing while these flags are there!” Seriously? A multi-billion dollar cooperation used by hundreds of millions of users every damn day made their homepage an homage to the Queer Pride movement in the same month that queer people (and lets be real, mostly trans people) had their healthcare rights reversed in America and you’re upset that they left out a flag? AND you’re gonna claim that certain flags should have been replaced with yours, which acknowledges that only a certain amount of flags could be shown? That is shortsighted and selfish, to say the least. 

3. I see a lot of people arguing that they can’t use the Pride Flag because gay men and gay women have different experiences. Two points for that

The Pride Flag is Not just for gay men. It is for everyone in the queer community. If you are LGBT+ then that is your flag. Yes, individual flags exist, but they do not exist to push down the meaning of our Pride Flag. So everyone who had their flag missing, which is a lot of people since the doodles had 4-5 at most, can rally behind our Pride Flag. That’s what it is there for. If you don’t want to, then sure, but the doodles weren’t for you, then. They were for the Queer community. If you want to renounce our Pride Flag, then go for it, but it comes with renouncing the community. You don’t get to pick and choose our history and meanings. 

 @lesbianchemicalplant pointed out that trans women and trans men have different experiences too, but we share a flag. And yeah, we do. There are trans masc and trans femme flags, but the only difference is a slight reordering of the stripes and its subtle enough that on their own they’ll still only be recognized as the trans flag. They (I didn’t see their pronouns anywhere) also pointed out that bi people have different experiences based on their gender, which is also true, and they share a flag. It’s the same thing for any person of any sexuality of different genders. So even if our Pride Flag was only for people who are homosexual, then that would also be our flag, lesbians. Frankly, I think it gets bonus points because it has more historic significance than the lipstick flag and the orange and pink one combined. There is a lesbian flag. There’s at least 3 to choose from. But them existing doesn’t mean that art can’t be consolidated, nor does it mean that they should be replacing our Pride Flag. NOR does it mean that we are above sharing.

4. I’ve seen people using this argument as a way to air their transphobia and prioritize Lesbians over other people in our community. Hot take, but that ain’t it.  “We’re the first letter in the acronym!” is not a sentence that anyone should be saying as an argument for representation. “Why is the nb flag there but we aren’t?” is disgusting. I really hope that the people making those arguments will see why they shouldn’t and make the adjustments accordingly. It’s okay to address your shortcomings. We all have them. That’s how we learn. 

5. I’ve also seen people use this argument to air their actual lesbophobia. That ain’t it either, buddy. “Tell the lesbian terfs to stop if you want representation” is a horrible thing to say. Terfs are not a lesbian only problem. The trans masc community has plenty of people who are functionally the same. So do cis gay men. So do the straights. And I’ve seen people say that lesbians don’t deserve representation. I don’t need to explain how disgusting that is. 

Either way, I think that there are better things to be upset about. And there are things to be celebrating. Yes, it sucks to be excluded. And it would suck if lesbians were being excluded. But I think that this petty disc horse within our community does nothing, especially since it only exists online, on tumblr. (And twitter, but they don’t count). It doesn’t do anything except marginalize people within their own community and make us blind to the things that we have accomplished. 

[cowboyjen68]

Anon Ask

”At the college i transferred to, in every class we were made to tell everyone our name and pronouns. I see the use for trans individuals, but for myself, it makes me uncomfortable. I am a lesbian. I am a woman. This happened at a club meeting as well. The leader was quite forceful about it, too. There is a "queer" club too, but its mostly trans and gender non binary people. I feel isolated. And worried that lesbians are dying out. (1/2)

“2/2) The gender non-binary theory doesn’t FIT me AT ALL. Lesbian groups have seemed to move underground, in Minneapolis. It’s frustrating and saddening. I feel like i have no community.”

Answer:

I want to assure you that we are not dying out. Lesbians have been around since the dawn of time and we will continue.

There has been a major shift at many GSA’s, LGBT or Queer groups and even at traditional support groups whose focus has been on sexual orientation in the past. I see a large influx of Trans and gender questioning and non Binary identified people at youth clubs, GSA’s (both college and Middle/High school).  I move about in the LGBT world as a speaker, a volunteer and event organizer. I notice the pattern as do CEO’s, educational administrators, and youth service employees.  

Our local PFLAG spun off a Trans/Gender/Gender questioning and non binary identified people support group aimed at people falling in those categories. The need was there and the mix of orientation and gender always in one meeting was causing confusion for the families and it was stifling some conversation due to comfort and time constraints.  The result was the creation of a safe space overseen by members of the trans community. PFLAG  (local chapter) remains open to all but focuses on the families (parents, friends and family) of those in the LGBT community, with the recognition that orientation and gender are not the same and each family  (and category of L G B T) faces unique challenges.

I do not fit in the gender questioning/trans or Non binary category at all and that is one reason I recruit volunteers from all sides of the LGBT world, to be there for those who most closely share their experiences. My theory is, if we ignore our differences, we do more harm than good. We can support each other under one umbrella and respect that sometimes we need comfort and conversation with others whom we relate to the most.. and people are allowed to decide for themselves where they best fit. It works, We all feel safe and listened to and it enables us to reach out to many in the area who need our resources.

All that being said.. our mode of functioning is rare. And we are lucky. .I would not be comfortable calling myself queer or working with in a group that strictly uses queer, neither would others. Some are okay with it. It appears that the like and dislike for the term is not based on age, gender or orientation… just a matter of personal comfort. I always ALWAYS ask if someone is comfortable with it.  

As a butch ( or GNC– a term i do not use for myself) I get asked more often than the straight men and women or femme lesbians or bi married couples or gay men for my pronouns. It is protocol in many meetings I attend. I don’t really mind, since I am comfortable in the “me” that i am. Getting  Mis gendered is a daily occurrence for me so it makes no difference to me if it happens at any given time. I do get annoyed when I have to restate it for professionals I have been dealing with for a long time. It is a wholly unnecessary step for me and I really only do it in LGBT formal meetings and functions. It does not occur to me otherwise. It is no biggie for me to be kind and respectful to help others feel safe.

Lesbians have had a long tradition of functioning underground and it appears we are still doing that to some extent, either to feel safe or to protect our historical culture or just to have private time away from the larger community. Each part of the LGBT umbrella deserves to carve their own niche and define their own boundaries. I am not sure why that is often seen as a bad thing.  I love when i can help other groups find their own time and space to gather and share with other who they most closely relate, lesbians included.

If the group or any group you attend discourages you from using lesbian or talking about your natural orientation and you do not feel safe talking to the facilitator, tell the over seeing authorities. They have an obligation make sure any group that is for the LGBT community respects everyone in that category. But had that happened to me in college, I would have just dropped away too. Life is busy and hard enough without one more battle. And when we are silenced within a space meant for us too, it is discouraging and maddening. 

Do not loose hope. We exist. I am not going anywhere. I am an out and visible member of my community and i am a lesbian. I am one of many.  I am  not willing to relent or hide my orientation or my butchness. And thus far, my friends and community have never asked me too. They, like me, celebrate each of us. I am saddened, often to tears, when i hear of other groups silencing any one part of the LGBT.  I also understand that younger people, those in college or high school have less power to assert themselves. AND you should not have to. GSA’s by any name are supposed to be for all of us.

My advice.. keep going to the group as long as you feel safe and talk about your experiences. Other lesbians might be looking to see “you”.  Find a community on line and use that to reach out and make real life connections. I am still in awe of the amount of real life friends I have made on tumblr and how many connections I am able to facilitate by having friends all over the world. Sometimes that new friend is 15 minutes away but it takes a mutual, and virtual friend to help you find each other. 

Order Lesbian Connection (hard copy or PDF). It is full of good information. http://www.lconline.org/

[swordbreakerz]

✨ for all of them, 🎥 for treasure planet and guardians of gahoole, 🍀 for 9-1-1 and penumbra, 📃 for unicorn chronicles, 🏳️‍🌈 for howls, treasure planet and legend of zelda, and 💎 for any ones you have facts for lol

you spoil me uwu

🎥 - ok for treasure planet, gotta be the 12 years later scene in the beginning and the zoom in to the spaceport, the way it transitions from jim reading under the blankets to him flying on his solar surfer is so chefs kiss, and just like. everything about to the spaceport lmao, fr guardians definitely the scene where soren flies through the fire and then blows up the pulley system to get rid of the flecks energy, bro when hes flying above it all holding the lantern before he dives down to save them? chills

🍀 - you know im on that projection shit w/ juno steel, ive truly never like connected with a character like that before and he’s really really helped me thru my recovery and transition lol, fr 911 uhhh ig buck or eddie? i havent Thought About It or like consumed it enough times yet to rly settle on someone but fr now,,, they

🏳️‍🌈 - ok for howls, Everyone Is Bi/Pan, howl is trans and autistic and i will die on that hill, fr treasure planet jim and cpt amelia are both trans and both of them + doppler are autistic, fr loz link is trans, autistic and semi nonverbal and communicates primarily with asl, post twilight princess zelda says fuck it and finds a way back into the twilight realm and she midna and link hang out, most of these boil down to everyone i love is trans gay and autistic because i say so lmaooo

📃 - OK SO. without like, spoiling too many plot points, our main character is cara and she lives with her grandmother. her mom is dead and dad is out of the picture. one day theyre getting chased by these people that her grandma knows and cara gets thrown into an alternate realm full of fantasy creatures using her grandmothers amulet. she meets a unicorn named lightfoot and a bunch of other rad people and basically, starts a journey to save that world from the Hunters. the Hunters are an organisation who specifically hate unicorns and want them all dead, led by Beloved, and cara and her friends have to try and stop them from entering the world and wiping them out. its sooo so so good and i highly recommend it cause i have no one to talk to about it please god

✨ - oh boy uh, well. im just gonna like list them out lmao

unicorn chronicles: i loved unicorns as a kid and read it when i was in elementary school, and over the years its remained just as compelling and well written as i remember and like. god the whole concept is so godamn cool and all the subplots that get introduced are fuckign fantastic and like all the different creatures are amazing i literally cant sing its praises enough

howls moving castle: must i have a logical reason? is it not to vicariously live my fantasy of running away to the countryside with a wizard boyfriend, his demon and his apprentice?? for real though, its such a fantastic story with beautiful visuals in the movie and wonderfully compelling prose in the book, and esp in the movie the whole time travel subplot with sophie seeing howl and calcifer in the past and then howl finding her in the future makes me go feral

penumbra: gays in space. need i say more? im a huge slut for gay found family and especially in futuristic space, and im a huge big fan of the lgbt utopia its created. like yeah capitalism sucks but at least im not gonne get misgendered in space starbucks, u kno? all the writing and dialogue is so incredible and the SOUND DESIGN GOD, alex i know u specifically can relate when i say i would kill a man for sophie and her incredible sound design skills, like dude the dance scene in man in glass p2 you can hear every single individual step they take and every swish of junos dress and i jusT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god its so good, plus the whole the characters help me work through my trauma and repressed anger haha

911: this one is entirely your fault. so obligatory horny on main everyone on that show is so hot i want oliver stark to cradle me gently in his beefy arms oh my god. other than Men, the way it drives home the whole ‘you can’t save everyone, and it will kill you to try, so just focus on what you can do and keep living’ makes me so emo. the way it tackles big bureaucratic issues as well as closer to home interpersonal ones is amazing and i love how it shows people going through and dealing realistically with trauma.

treasure planet: again, who doesnt want to live in Cool Steampunk Space Travel Future? i really really love jims story and his arc, the way he deals with his trauma is uhh very familiar lol and his relationship with silver is like the ideal. the story is just the coolest concept and i love all the wonderful character design and animation, plus the soundtrack SLAPS and everything is beautiful

legend of zelda: ive been associated with this series from a very young age due to my name and as soon as i gave into my fate and looked it up for real i just kinda fell into it lol. i cant really tell you exactly what draws me to it besides ‘wow fun game!’ and ‘god i wish that were me,’ but like the absurd amount of detail thats put into each installment and the creative ways they retell essentially the same/similar story over and over is incredible

guardians of gahoole: so i had the same experience with this and treasure planet which is i remembered ‘oh hey this is a movie that exists and i cant clearly remember watching it, ill look it up :)’ and then it consumed my life for a solid 3 months. firstly this movie is absolutely gorgeous, the animation and framing is fucking stunning and the way they handled owls talking like people as far as the movement of their very inflexible beaks was amazing. it sort of has the same draw for me as warrior cats? secret animal society ft incredibly traumatic experiences and the characters dealing with it. like, the whole concept is just so fuckign wild and it works so well, i rly enjoy this niche genre.

💎 - alright trivia time, so guardians of gahoole is based on a book series and the movie only covers part of the first arc i think idk, BUT theres another series set in the same universe called wolves of the beyond that i devoured when i was younger! i didnt know they were connected for the longest time and when i found out i was :000, i still rly love wolves of the beyond and wanna reread it, as well as read the actual gahoole books. in the howls books, sophie is a redhead! also, markl is named michael and like a fully functioning young adult who ends up marrying one of sophies sisters. treasure planet is, obviously, based off treasure island but its so much better than the book dont bother reading it lol i tried and it was boring. there was plans for a treasure planet sequel that was fully scripted and cast but it was cancelled cause disney sabotaged treasure planet from the start with the shitty release and advertising and tldr we were ROBBED, also amelias concept was much more octopus like and while that wldve been rad im p glad she was switched to a cat for. several reasons lol. uhh i dont have a lot of Fun Facts abt the unicorn chronicles but for the longest time i thought there were only 3 books and then last year i found the fourth book by chance in a kitsch store and nearly had a breakdown i was so happy, like full on i started shaking and crying cause there was so much joy in my body i cldnt contain it.

thats all i can think of tysm ily, to anyone who read all of this bless u please watch guardians of gahoole and read the unicorn chronicles i will love u forever

[bulgariansumo]

Taken from this

How did you choose your name?

I didn’t. Oddly enough, my birth name was given to me because it was supposedly androgynous, so that works. I used to wish I had a more ‘normal’ name, but now I’m pretty indifferent to it.

What gives you the most dysphoria? (Acknowledging that not all trans people experience dysphoria)

I don’t experience physical dysphoria. I don’t know if I experience social dysphoria, but if so, it’s not too intense.

Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

Social, if I have it. I don’t like being called certain pronouns, but I’m kind of resigned to it. Only on the internet would it really get to me, but thankfully I’ve never had that happen after coming out.

What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

I don’t need self-care when I have loving and accepting friends!

What was the first time you suspected you were transgender? 

It was kind of hard. In my preteens, I would think to myself that I didn’t want to be my assigned gender, but I didn’t quite want to be the other binary gender either. I kind of resigned myself to being my assigned gender until finding out nonbinary genders were a thing.

When did you realize you were transgender?

5-6 years ago?

What is your favorite part of being transgender?

I feel like there’s a certain freedom to it. When you grow up, you’re fed a lot of messages about gender (boys don’t cry, girls are more nurturing), and I never really liked when people tried to justify my personality with stuff like that. Now that I know I’m not cis, I can ignore it.

How would you explain your gender identity to others?

My gender = No

How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? Or what happened when you were outed?

It’s much easier for me to stay in the closet.

What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

None.

What are your experiences with binding or tucking?

None.

Do you pass?

Technically yes, since having no gender means (ideally) having no gender expectations. I’d like to look androgynous, but I can’t do that socially without tipping people off, and physically, with my body type, it would be a challenge anyway.

What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

Maybe hormones? But that’s hard to do while staying closeted. I don’t necessarily need them for myself.

How long have you been out?

5-6 years online

What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

None other than my assigned gender

Have you ever experienced transphobia?

Not directly, but I did have the misfortune of hearing the Apache helicopter joke irl

What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom in public?

Public bathrooms are a den of filth. I would never step foot in one willingly unless it was an emergency.

How does your family feel about your trans identity?

I don’t know, but given how they talk about trans people, I don’t want to

Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

I literally can’t; that is not a luxury I have. There’s not really a way to be ‘stealth’ when you’re nonbinary. You either have to tell people upfront or let them assume what gender you are.

What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

I probably would’ve told myself what a transmed was so that didn’t affect my entire stance on whether or not I’m trans. But I also would tell myself that being nonbinary doesn’t necessarily mean I have to ID as trans either.

Why do you use the pronouns you use?

I like them! And they too!

Do your neurodivergencies affect your gender?

I don’t know if I’m neurodivergent or not.

What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

Being outed to my family. That would not be ideal.

What medical, social, or personal steps have you already taken to start your transition?

I came out online.

What do you wish cis people understood?

Respecting trans and other non-cis people isn’t impossible. I’ve met a decent amount of cis people who are really cool about it, and I appreciate them a lot.

The sanctity of the English language is not and never will be a hill to die on. Using singular they/them will not kill anyone.

What impact has being trans affected your life?

Things make a lot more sense now! I’m really glad I found out I’m nonbinary.

What do you do to validate yourself?

Write! Creating the representation I want to see, and seeing other people enjoy it, is really helpful!

How do you feel about trans representation in media?

It’s improving, but could be better.

Who is your favorite trans celebrity?

I don’t really know all that much about trans celebrities. I think there’s like 5 I can name total? Asia Kate Dillon interested me in particular, because before hearing about them, I never knew there was a nonbinary character on US television that wasn’t a robot or an alien, let alone a celebrity that publicly identified as nonbinary, and got to play said character! It’s really cool, and I really appreciate them for being out there.

Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

@rontufox. He was the first person I ever knew to mention the word ‘genderqueer’ and was the guy that reblogged the post that made me realize my identity. Great dude, great friend, really understanding and an inspiration for how to treat other people in general! I love you, bro!

How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

Other than having trans friends and reblogging an occassional post… not much. I have little idea what the nonbinary community is like, what problems they have or face. Does an organized nonbinary community even exist? I’ve seen and heard a lot more discussion about and by trans men and women, but can’t really say I ‘know’ their communities, because I’m not either of those identities.

How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

The same.

What trans issue are you most passionate about?

Representation in media. There’s a lot of trans stories to tell, but not many are being told, and the ones that are are often by cis people which creates… issues, to say the least.

What advice would you give to other trans people, or what message would you like to share with them?

No one is immune to misogyny. Please examine how you treat/behave toward women. On the other hand, ragging on men just for the sake of ragging on men doesn’t really do any good for anyone and can easily reinforce harmful beliefs. People who choose to belittle or ignore the struggles of specific men (cis LGB+ men, trans men, men of color, etc.) are especially suspicious when it comes to this.

NEVER INTERACT WITH TERFs. Period. They are not a joke. Transphobes in general are bad of course, but TERFs are especially manipulative. They can and will turn someone completely inside out in order to get someone to believe their ideology and have a lot of sneaky tactics to get otherwise anti-TERF people to agree with them. No matter how secure you think you are in your identity, it’s not worth it. The same goes for transmeds. I don’t know the full extent of their tactics, but based on personal experience, they’re pretty damaging too.

How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

I’d much rather be read as a guy online than in real life.

What, if any, is the difference between your gender identity and your gender expression?

I don’t really get to ‘express’ my gender irl. I’d like to have more ‘plain’ clothes that aren’t obviously tailored for one gender. Online, my gender expression is... just being me! I used to put a little more thought into trying to come off as completely androgynous, but what’s the point of being nonbinary if I can’t be myself?

Do you feel more masculine, feminine, or neither?

Neither

What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

I’m ace and aro. I feel like it’s made a lot easier for me to be my identity than if I were attracted to people. I don’t often see unaligned nonbinary people in discussions of attraction, but then again, I rarely see nonbinary discussions at all. It’s already hard enough for binary trans and aligned nonbinary people to get taken seriously as their in a relationship or in other parts of the LGBT+ community.

There’s people who don’t believe nonbinary people exist or should be a part of the LGBT+ community, and then there are others who don’t believe asexual or aromantic people should be a part of the community either. But there are many more cis+heterosexual+heteromantic people, who would not accept nonbinary, ace, aro people at all. It’s hard to interact with the LGBT+ community beyond support if you have to second-guess whether you belong at all. But, the more I learn about other people’s experiences in the online LGBT+ community, the more I learn that no group feels completely safe, and all of them are either being persecuted or ignored by each other. I don’t really know what to say other than it’s really sad.

Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

I have no ideal partner.

How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

I came out online. That’s it to me. It was pretty easy for me in particular because there were very few people who I told my assigned gender beforehand.

What is the place (blog, website, forum, IRL space) you get most of your info on being trans or on trans related things?

Tumblr. 

Do you interact with other trans people IRL?

I don’t know if I’ve ever met a trans person IRL

Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

Not really.

Free space! Answer any question you want, or make up your own question to answer.

Thanks, I might make a few!

What do you hope for in the future?

Trans rights!  Safer discussions of LGBT+ topics in public!

What are you thankful for?

My amazing friends for supporting me! I wouldn’t have gotten this far without you, and I’m thankful for the people who are there for me!

What do you wish to achieve?

I wish to be able to understand and respect other parts of the LGBT+ community better. I know I won’t be able to understand other groups 100%, but I like learning! And more than anything, I don’t want to make it any harder than it already is to be LGBT+ online. I want to help my friends!!

Why didn’t you write “as a trans person” after those last three questions, when that’s what you meant? 

I’m not sure if I see myself as trans to begin with. I’ve only heard one other person share this sentiment with me, but I feel like being trans is a little more involved what I am, and I don’t feel comfortable co-opting on that experience (even though...taking this questionnaire meant for trans people… might be doing just that.) I do want to clarify that I’m not saying that nonbinary people who share my experiences CAN’T be trans. I’m just saying that I’m not sure if I see myself personally as trans. I’m not cis though. That I know for sure.

Did you like taking this questionnaire?

Heck yeah! Nice job, OP!

What’s a way you can end this on a happy note?

I know a lot of these answers have been downers, but I think if people pull together, a better future is possible for all of us. I’m thankful for where I am in life now, and I want other people to get to a similar spot in life, if not better! Also, let me know if I stepped out of line in any of these answers so I can edit them!