#This character and performance is wasted on too much of this fandom and that's just sad

[spear-carrier-number-three]

the rampant kant hate in this fandom isn't surprising but it is exasperating.

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ slashers scenarios | may i have this dance?

♡ fandoms; Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original + 2006), House of Wax, The Boy, Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)

♡ characters; Micheal Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Vincent Sinclair, Brahms Heelshire

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡cw; none really!!

♡notes; this popped into my brain the other day and i thought we were due for some fluff. i’m writing part two congruently so that’ll be posted soon too!!

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

Micheal Myers

> Micheal Myers does not dance

> He doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t want to learn

> But like with a lot of things, you get him to bend his rules

> He has a habit of looming in doorways to watch you

> At first it’s disconcerting, but you learn it’s just how he is

> So you pay him no mind as he’s watching you dance around the kitchen to some song that’s too popular for him to know

> Sweet and silly and carefree…

> He clicks the speaker off with a quiet huff

> “Hey, I was listening to that-“ You pout

> He rolls his eyes and puts on something a bit more to his taste

> And before you can playfully complain any more, he wraps his arms around you from behind and sways softly

> It takes a second for you to process it- he’s not normally so…gentle

> But in his own weird little way, he’s dancing with you

> He tenses a bit when you turn around- he’s embarrassed but would never admit it- but when you kiss his cheek he relaxes and gives a quiet hum

>And he keeps swaying as you lay your head on his chest

>Just for you, as long as you don’t tell anyone…Micheal Myers does dance. Just a little.

Thomas Hewitt

> Thomas doesn’t think about dancing

> He’s seen it on TV, read about it in books…but the Hewitts aren’t really the dancing types

> Nearest thing to dancing that he can think of ever doing is being held by his mama, when she’d sing and rock him when he was hurt or upset

> And it’s been a long time since anyone could hold him like that

> But one day you’re upset- he doesn’t know why but you burst into tears the moment he walked in, and it has him in a tizzy

> He quickly scoops you up, checking for any injuries but…nothing. You’re just crying and he hates seeing you like that

> So he does what used to make him feel better

> He can’t sing- or at least won’t, his words are always few and far between- but he hums, low and rumbling in his chest

> As he holds you and slowly sways you start to calm down

> You sniffle and all of the sudden giggle

> “Thomas Hewitt; are you dancin’ with me right now?”

> He looks confused but slowly nods as he thinks about it

> “Well thank you. I needed this.”

> He nuzzles you and continues until you’re calm- and far after that if you’ll let him

Bubba Sawyer

> As we know, Bubba is a very sheltered fellow, but he does like dancing!

> He’s not particularly coordinated but he doesn’t need much coaxing to twirl you around and around

> He’ll dance without music, humming a nonsense tune to you, maybe even whistling

> And if you sing to him he can’t help grinning and giggling

> It’s not uncommon for him to sway and spin with you in the living room if the radio got left on

> And he gets shy when you’re caught by one of his brothers

> “Bubba you stop wasting time, you little—“

> You cock your hip and give Drayton a cold look

> “Oh, I’m a waste of time now, cook?”

> Like always a smart remark goes a long way with Drayton, the twins immediately “oooh”ing and teasing him as he flusters

> Soon enough he’s chasing them out cursing and wielding a pair of tongs

> Leaving you and Bubba forgotten and free to sneak off and continue your fun in peace

Vincent Sinclair

> You’d have to ask

> Probably more than once, honestly

> Vincent is an artistic man, that’s not a doubt in the slightest- but he’s not even a little interested in anything that involves performance

> But you have a way of getting your way with him

> “Vince baby?”

> “…”

> “Pretty please?”

> “…”

> “If we take pictures then you can paint us.”

> He perks up a bit and you know you’ve got him

> “Cmon silly!” You drag him into the house of Wax, camcorder in hand

> Having gotten that far, you finally realize you don’t particularly know how to dance either, not really

> But you don’t tell him that, instead turning on the music and pulling him against you

> You’re clumsy and awkward and adorable as you spin around with him, not even a bit embarrassed

> He isn’t sure the reference stills are usable, but he’s more than happy the sweet moment on camera

Brahms Heelshire

> Brahms treats you like royalty- whatever you want is yours

> So if you say you’d like to go dancing, he is more than happy to arrange something

> Though of course, he doesn’t like leaving home… no matter. There’s plenty of room in the manor

> He makes a date out of it- he’s prone to making dates out of lots of silly things

> Silly or not, it’s sweet, and as always you fawn over him and praise him for the thoughtfulness

> He even bought you a cute outfit for the occasion - he loves dolling you up (pun slightly intended)

> After setting the music he bows and offers his hand- being a rich brat he knows a bit of ballroom dancing

> He’s more than happy to teach you, humming “1-2-3” with your steps

> But he’s laughing and giggling and just can’t stop gushing over how cute you are

> So if you fall into slow dancing like it’s the prom, he doesn’t mind

> Any dance with you is more than he can ask for

[rabbitbandit05]

Headcanon:

Vox with a Famous Performer Reader

Heyyy, so this is my first time actually writing headcanons for Hazbin Hotel in general, so if its not that good thats probably why. This idea kinda sprang into my head and I really wanted to write for it without actually writing a fanfiction (though im not opposed to the idea).

On that note: Im taking requests for Hazbin Characters to strengthen my writing and really just practice. Ive gotten into the show lately. I also do other fandoms though currently just working on Hazbin. Thanks for reading!

You are a very famous Singer in hell, so I imagine that would garner a lot of attention, including Vox

He spots your talent from miles away and is immediately intrigued with you, especially if you are an upcoming singer, because he likes to be ahead of trends

He would offer you a deal with Vox tech of some sort, since he thinks your talent would go to waste with Valentino and Velvette isn't interested in you as a model, with really good benefits of course (if they have health benefits/ time off)

Definitely focuses on creating music videos of you and plastering your face on as many screens as he can to get the word out there about your music 

If you weren't spoiled before, he definitely is now gonna- best cars, best clothes, best of everything. 

Also, is sure to make every demon know that you are with him/ a vox production and a part of his employees (very prideful of this) 

I think slowly would start to gain feelings for you, however would be very unaware of these feelings and chalk it up to just thinking you are a great performer or thinking its respect

Valentino and Velette do make fun of him for how much actual effort he is putting not only into your career but into you! 

Like- he cares about your feelings and is doing way too much for someone who is just supposed to be using you for your talent for his gain. 

“Aww come on Vox, you like the little ‘estrella’. Its clear from how you treat them-” Valentino would tease  

“Yeah, your more pushy with their career than any other demon i've seen. Its clear you like them-” Velvette would back up. 

Only then does Vox begin to realize he likes you and cares about you- Like actually cares about you

Has a fear of you signing with a different agency/manager and leaving him- not because of how he benefits but because he knows others would use your talent and exploit you. 

Might do a Part 2 since its very unfinished. Okay thanks for reading!

[lunarriviera]

the huo daofu round-up post i have been threatening for a really long time now

Thinking about this man, I was just admitting to chat "honestly cannot believe how much life energy i have invested in such a minor character" but the truth of the matter is, I was mildly obsessed with Huo Daofu from Reboot alone; his odd unresolved backstory in Sha Hai just cemented my mental formation. Because let's be real, in a world of overly earnest tomb raiders, this man is a goddamn catty delight. The dainty bitterness! The barely concealed eye-rolling! So many impeccable That Bitch vibes. And his unimpressed snark is honestly such a refreshing antidote to Wu Xie's whole everyone-loves-him Marty Sue thing that even when you discover Huo Daofu secretly ALSO loves him, you don't mind, because by that point Dr. Youtiao is a savage queen who can do no wrong.

And He Longlong clearly made this guy up. In the novels he's just sort of a vaguely beardy guy who drives a truck, that's literally all I remember him ever doing. But someone cast this man, and they gave him some rubber bands and pizza coupons and chewed gum of a script to work with, and he promptly decided: I will make him extremely gay. And staggeringly bitchy. AND IT WORKS. He devours every frame he's in, he steals every scene. It's a performance worthy of Alan Rickman and yes I will die upon this hill.

We all know the bitchy-ex-boyfriend scenes in Reboot—"oh my god I literally can't wait for you to perish from lungs" and then Huo Daofu spends like every moment trying to keep Wu Xie alive, sheltering him uselessly from the rain with his hand, rubbing his back when he coughs, looking (when no one's watching but the camera) like he's maybe going to stop breathing himself, when Wu Xie does.

Apparently Huo Daofu's name sounds very silly in Chinese which I think is appropriate for someone who apparently (?) grew up in Germany (?) and went to the University of Heidelberg (?) (honestly don't waste time trying to figure out DMBJ canon, NPSS has thoughtfully ensured that will only be exhausting and futile). Spurious medical qualifications aside, he's super handy in fanfic, too, when you need a sketchy doctor, as all tomb-raiding mob families invariably do.

[someone once pointed out to me that this combination of degree topics basically translates into "how to dispose of bodies"]

I could also hold forth on him and Yang Hao—like, Su Wan alone makes it REAL clear that Huo Daofu's interest in the kid isn't just avuncular or entrepreneurial:

"Are you working for him, or are you working for him?" And Su Wan should be protective, because Yang Hao is honestly kind of an idiot, and probably doesn't realize he's being assiduously groomed not just as a mob boss but as a potential boy toy. (NB by the way that there are 44 fics in the Huo Daofu/Yang Hao tag, and disappointingly, not a single one of them is in English. Western fandom needs Jesus.)

But the thing is, Huo Daofu SAVES his ass in Gutongjing. Everyone forgets that. There's easily half a dozen times where he grabs Yang Hao's shoulder and hauls him back from danger. And Huo Daofu is the one Jiumen member smart enough to get out ahead of disaster, and to take Yang Hao with him. Here he is looking fabulous in a completely unnecessary but dramatic scarf.

And, at the end, he lets Yang Hao go. Because he's secretly decent.

Sure, he has some vaguely sketchy take-over-the-Huos plans, plans that clearly go awry at some point no matter how dramatically and villainously he makes tea. Sure, he exudes a scurrilous sort of evil. But he's COMPELLING and that's all I care about. Look at his pretty little face here, sourly plotting things, in a windowpane-checked suit which should be ridiculous but just winds up looking snazzy as fuck compared to the rest of the Jiumen. This is a man who understands the value of a pocket square. Thank you so much, He Longlong, we didn't deserve you putting your entire snatch into this very minor performance but some of us are extremely grateful.

So here are seven ficrecs, with a podfic and a meta from AO3. Please let me know if I should add anything (Tumblr meta?)—this post WILL be updated, because I have too much time on my hands and care unreasonably about the mean-spirited little bastard.

‡

Remember how this used to be (3569 words) by achray Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Wu Xie (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi Additional Tags: Missing Scene, Angst, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Background Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie being a gremlin, Canon-typical references to illness Summary:

“That wasn’t a no,” Wu Xie said, his smile widening. “I thought you still wanted me.”

Notes: How is this both hot and sad? I don't know, that's the magic of fanfiction. This was the first Wu Xie/Huo Daofu fic I ever read and frankly the genre needs more entries, but this is a good one.

‡

the rime dictionary of Wu Xie (7433 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling, Wang Pangzi/Ye Piaopiao, Wang Pangzi & Wu Xie & Zhang Qiling Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling, Ye Piaopiao, Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Xiao Mei, Wu Erbai, Li Jiale (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Piaopiao lives, Post-Canon, Canon Flashbacks, canonical illness, fun with the common cold, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Handwaved SI Recovery, Canon-typical Ershu Infodump, Quasi-History-Compliant, Yuletide Treat Summary:

This is why (even now) Wu Xie shouldn’t be let out alone—one trip out to the provinces, and he comes home with a bad cold and an unsolved mystery.

Notes: this is one of my very favorite Huo Daofu writers and here's why—read this little excerpt. The angst. The PAIN. Wu Xie absolutely broke this man's heart at some point and honestly Huo Daofu is really only himself if he's suffering, love that for him:

“Easy,” he said, when Wu Xie couldn’t seem to stop coughing. “Here—” and reached for the rest of the tea, except that it wasn’t on the table any longer.

Zhang Qiling was holding the mug; he had somehow gone around to the other side of the bed, moving in that flowing now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t way that never seemed quite human, to sit down cross-legged on the bed by Wu Xie so that their shoulders touched. Huo Daofu snatched his hand away from Wu Xie’s back as if an electrical current might flow through the double contact.

“Wu Xie,” Zhang Qiling said, and then something else so quiet it was inaudible, holding the tea so Wu Xie could drink.

Looking at the open tenderness on that remote, beautiful face, utterly focused on Wu Xie, made Huo Daofu feel as if his flesh was trying to part ways with his bones. It was a pain his medical texts didn’t have a word for, deeper and more primitive than jealousy or resentment.

Wu Xie, getting his breath back, looked sideways at him with one of those sudden grins. “Sorry, Xiao Huo. You’re still out of luck when it comes to watching me die. Maybe next time.”

Huo Daofu’s voice would not quite leave his throat. Instead, Xiao Mei said crossly “Tianzhen-shu, that’s dumb.” Most of her attention was still on her phone screen. “Why would Dr. Huo want to watch you die.”

Wu Xie looked at him, still smiling.

“It’s a long story,” said Huo Daofu, “and it doesn’t matter now.”

‡

even through hesitation (10407 words) by naiwong_bao Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Huo Xiuxiu, Hei Xia Zi/Huo Xiuxiu/Xie Yuchen Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Huo Xiuxiu, Yang Hao (DMBJ Series), Hei Xia Zi (DMBJ Series), Xie Yuchen, Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi Additional Tags: Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Character Study, Alternate Universe - Fantasy Series: Part 3 of this is where we live Summary:

He’s a boy so Huo Daofu knows from the beginning that there are no expectations for him, he can do as he likes. So he plays, he cries, he does what children do.

Then his parents die.

No one wants him, no one has time for him, so his family sends him to Germany for school. It’ll be a good opportunity, his family says. He can do whatever he wants, be free of the family business, they’ll take care of him over there. He doesn’t want to go, he doesn't know who they are, but he doesn’t get a say.

So he goes to Germany where the language is strange, the food is strange, the people are strange, and he wants to go home so badly that his teeth ache.

Huo Daofu builds a life for himself, but at the first sign of trouble, years and years and years later, he rents out his apartment to an acquaintance, and flies home.

But.

The language is strange, he doesn’t know the slang, the food is strange, the people are strange.

His family is cold and he still doesn’t get a say. --- Huo Daofu between the end of Tomb of the Sea and when he reappears in Reboot. AKA Huo Daofu learns to care a little.

‡

The Mark of a Man (2279 words) by JhanaMay Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Yang Hao (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Yang Hao (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Loneliness, Found Family even when it makes you want to scream, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Huo Daofu is a mediocre role model Series: Part 8 of The Art of Conversation, Part 7 of The Art of Conversation Side Stories Summary:

When Huo Daofu inducted Yang Hao into the Huo family business, he wasn't expecting to become the boy's de facto babysitter.

Notes: a poignant little vignette in which Huo Daofu has a heart.

‡

[META] Huo Daofu's Youtiao Stand (739 words) by Thimblerig Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei, 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Huo Xiuxiu, Huo Daofu & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Meta, Worldbuilding, Huo Daofu's Delicious Fried Snacks Series: Part 2 of DMBJ Meta Summary:

Huo Daofu is a supporting character in Sand Sea. Ambitious, wily, hungry, he’s far from one of the main villains of the story but he’s not nice, either. By the end of Sand Sea Huo Daofu has exploited the chaos caused by the ill-founded expedition to Gutongjing to take over various of the Huo Family operations.

When he appears in Reboot: Sound of Providence, he is a purveyor of delicious fried bread snacks. He’s clearly not hurting for money, so why…?

Notes: this is one of my favorite little HDF explorations, theorizing that Huo Xiuxiu busted him down a rank, and I think that's beautiful.

‡

starting in darkness, like a pure line of light (10167 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Bai Haotian, Bai Haotian & Wu Xie, Liu Sang & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian & Liu Sang Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling Additional Tags: background pingxie, background Iron Triangle, past Wu Xie/Huo Daofu, Post-Canon, hurt/sarcasm, Fade to Black, Dialogue Heavy, meta-adjacent, Self-Indulgent Use of Chinese, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Summary:

Some emotional loose ends are never going to be tied up, but at least they can be recognized and shared. Or, a selection of the worst best only ways to comfort one another in the aftermath.

Notes: absolutely nothing makes me, a Huo Daofu stan, happier than scherzanda's fics featuring him. You would think this is an odd pairing, but it's really not—the two people who love Wu Xie most and are left behind by him? They have so much in common. Also, this fic has a podfic!

[PODFIC] starting in darkness, like a pure line of light, by scherzanda (701 words) by Thimblerig Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Bai Haotian, Bai Haotian & Wu Xie, Liu Sang & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian & Liu Sang Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Huò Dàofū, Bai Haotian, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling Additional Tags: background pingxie, background Iron Triangle, past Wu Xie/Huo Daofu, Post-Canon, hurt/sarcasm, Fade to Black, Dialogue Heavy, Meta Adjacent, Self-Indulgent Use of Chinese, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Podfic, podficcer not a native chinese-speaker but is doing her best, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours

‡

do the work, love the work (1616 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian, Wu Erbai Additional Tags: Mid-Canon, Missing Scene, Character Study, Post-Canon, Yuletide Treat Summary:

It doesn't always look that way, but Huo Daofu is doing his best.

Notes: once again I just have to excerpt, so you'll GET IT:

The train had nearly reached Hangzhou by the time Wu Xie spoke to him beyond the commonplace. He was still sitting in the corridor, staring dreamily at the growing suburbs, while Zhang Qiling gave Wang Pangzi a hand in the cabin. He looked up as Huo Daofu came back from the hot water dispenser. “Xiao Huo, xinkule. Sorry you never got that chance to watch me die, eh?”

Huo Daofu closed his eyes and looked away from Wu Xie’s smile, unshadowed now with death, brilliant and painful. “I’m sorry too,” he said, eyes still closed, and did not say any of the things he was sorry for.

‡

not only the sugar, but the days (3000 words) by A Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bai Haotian/Huo Daofu Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian Additional Tags: Mentions of Death, Healing, Getting Together, Youtiao as a Metaphor, Also Actual Youtiao Summary:

His gaze meets Bai Haotian's, who's trying so hard to keep it together, and he knows that Wu Xie will break her heart when he dies, and it won't even be his fault. He never fucking means to.

Notes: another recent entry in the HDF/Bai Haotian post-canon and I love it unreasonably. They both love Wu Xie SO MUCH and it's just taking them OUT. Their subsequent connection is natural and it's funny as hell, the author loves them both and it shows:

"Are you really sure?" Bai Haotian says softly, and Huo Daofu looks up.

"What?"

"About the week."

"At best," he says, then winces. Fuck it. "It'll be three days," he says, loud enough to carry through the bedroom door, "if he keeps pulling these stunts!" There's a muffled noise and some very clear profanity from Pangzi, which Huo Daofu ignores. "See if I care!" he adds, but it's just not the same without Wu Xie there to grin at him, unrepentant.

He can feel Bai Haotian's hand covering his own, just loosely, where it's half curled into a fist against his thigh. He turns his head. The look she gives him is so full of unquestioning kindness, of understanding, he almost has to close his eyes against it.

"I'm sure," he says quietly, not really looking at her. "But he's proven me wrong before."

He can see her nod as she takes that in, and then they just sit there in silence, her hand over his, not moving.

‡

In conclusion, just because I can, from some of my favorite posts:

[ohyka]

[jeong-guwon]

[januaryisnotanartist]

Please also do not fail to check out the magnificent Dr Mal Practice post, as well as "it's not his fucking birthday" and "I'll fucking do it but christ alive." These users truly understand the essence of Huo Daofu.

PS also don't sleep on Huo Daofu and Liu Sang having a fabulous bitch-off in Hua Mei, a Sha Hai side story ft. haunted Wushanju. Another side story, Ran Gu, also has a swooning Kan Jian. Quality entertainment!

[vergeltvng]

SPOILERS for The Boys Season 4

I'm still processing the final episode but here are some of my random thoughts, in no particular order. It was a wild ride and I enjoyed it for the most part. The season had its lows for sure and I'll never forgive the writers for how they treated Hughie. I'm still fucking mad about everything they did to him after episode 5. I also felt like they wasted a lot of potential with Annie's arc. She's been through a lot after season 3 and I loved the idea of her having an identity crisis but it was just so poorly executed. It all felt messy and as if the writers had no conclusion in mind for both her and Hughie's plotlines. Unfortunately I couldn't find myself caring a lot about Frenchie's and Kimiko's subplots which is sad because I love these two. I was hoping they get to kill that bitch Little Nina and Kimiko getting her revenge on the SLLA. Both could have happened this season before they got separated in the end. Instead we've been put on hold to wait if these plots get resolved at all. Firecracker and Sage were great additions, I loved to hate Firecracker and Sage gives off endboss vibes for me. I still feel like she's gonna betray Homelander in the end. Can't wait for "phase two". A-Train's arc was great, he truly redeemed himself and him showing up at the flat iron to save the others was proof enough for me how serious he was about doing the right thing. I liked all of his scenes with MM, too. I loved Ashley this season, I hope she gains some badass powers and kicks everyone's ass. I've seen some complaints about Homelander being nerfed - are we watching the same show? He is fucking unhinged and more terrifying than ever. He is basically god by the end of the season and can (and will) do whatever the fuck he wants with no one in his way. Someone telling me that's not scary?! He is and always will be one of the best villains in tv history. Poor kid Ryan, he deserved better. How is he ever supposed to feel safe around Homelander and Butcher phrasing it that way was downright evil and manipulative towards the boy because he knew it would make Ryan feel insecure and cornered. Him pushing and killing Grace was in self-defense. His reaction afterwards however is concerning and I guess ambiguous for interpretation on purpose. I still don't get how some people in the fandom could hate on a 12 year old child so much, leave the kid alone.

Where do I start when it comes to Butcher? I have many thoughts and this text is already long but I'll give it a shot anyway. Obviously I'm biased because I love this man and will defend him to the very end. I think his arc was one of the better aspects, he is still one of the best written characters on the show. What I always loved about him was him being truly morally grey and the ambiguity in his words and actions. He cannot be trusted. I don't know if it's me but Karl's performance makes him actually a lot more likeable than he deserves. He is a bad person and I don't think this is negotiable. I have thought about this so many times in made-up scenarios and I stick with my opinion that there's no fixing him and there never was. I have tried to stay away from fandom discourse as much as I could for my own well-being but I don't get how people act surprised and as a result hate over his behavior and decisions. I think most were true to his character and also him killing Neuman made perfect sense and was a well-deserved payoff narratively. Not that I'm not mad at him for doing so! I loved Vicky and she was such an interesting character. But his final words in season 3 were "that bitch has to go" and one of his main goals across the whole season was to get that virus to kill her. He was absolutely clear about it and worked towards this goal on his own terms, not even under the influence of Kessler. Certainly Kessler pushed him to commit some of his atrocities but it matched with what he wanted himself. He drew the line when it came to supe genocide and was conflicted about it initially but one of his core themes is doing whatever it takes and losing his humanity on his chosen path. Since he is highly intelligent he knows very well what's wrong with him what emphasises even more that he actively chooses to do bad things rather than being impulsive and regretful afterwards. I personally loved his turn at the end and I am eager to see his villain arc. What's not to love about evil daddy?! I could go on about some of the dynamics between him and Kessler but I'll do that in another post maybe.

[rada-76]

Part 2. About Professionalism and Bullet Catching

This post is in Russian/Этот пост есть на русском, здесь.

Preface "Marvelous!" | Part 1 | Supplement one to Part 1 | Supplement two to Part 1 Reading the supplements is not necessary to understand this post.

This post involves some guesswork that might lead to doubt. However, we were shown a clear and insightful parallel between the scenes "in the magic shop" and "in Edinburgh," which helps us understand the techniques used to create these parallels. For instance:

One element can convey multiple meanings.

The significance of phrases, sounds, colors, and the spatial relationships of objects is crucial.

Characters can mirror the main characters, as couples do.

Emotions may be similar, but in the mirrored scene, they feel more genuine than in the original.

Here I’ll be referring to the final fifteen-minute conversation scene between Aziraphale and Crowley as "the final 15" for short. I see a cool system of parallels between this scene and the performance of the Fabulous Mr. Fell in the West End in 1941.

"Broken Bottles"

Broken bottles are associated with a cancelled breakfast at the Ritz: someone didn't get the pile of alcohol they were expecting, and the angel volunteered to do a magic trick instead.

"Beginning of the performance"

So, Aziraphale goes on stage. The owner of the theater, Mrs. H, urges him: "You're on. Get on with it!"

When Aziraphale enters the bookstore, having received Metatron's offer, I want to exclaim the same thing in his direction.

The angel hesitates and drags his feet for the first few minutes on stage. The manager in the theater yells "Get on with it!" at him in disgust. In the bookshop, too. Isn't that what everyone in the viewers wanted to yell at the angel along with Crowley when he interrupted the demon and started to hesitate and drag his feet in the bookshop? "Come on, Angel!"

However, Aziraphale gave Crowley at least two clues with his performance in the bookshop: a timeout sign with his palms and a silent phrase. And that's not counting the fact that he was grotesquely and contrary to his beliefs happy about the offer he received.

And Azi didn't waste any time on stage either! True, we, the audience, got the clues.

Hint 1. "Ladies from Camelot"

"They were the ladies from Camelot," says the angel, barely having entered the stage. Guessed? That's Nina and Maggie, who left the bookshop when he entered!

Hint 2. "Bees"

Then Azi says: "They're the bees knees!"

And remember when Crowley went to Heaven with Muriel?

- My office, but... - Lead on. - But... No, I can't! You're a demon! I can't just... Do you know how much trouble I'll get into for this? - It's fine. You're forgetting about the bees. - Bees? - Angels are like bees. Fiercely protective of their hive if you're trying to get inside. Once you're in...  - Well, I mean... Is it even faintly possible that an unauthorized demon might be just wandering around in Heaven unescorted? [Muriel shakes her head] - Mm, bees. - But you don't look like a bee. You look like a murder hornet or a snake or a... [Crowley changes his outfit.] - Bees. Right.

Michael met Crowley in the corridor of Heaven, but did not pay attention to him. Michael and other angels are bees that were fooled.

"Ladies of Camelot" Nina and Maggie went into a bookshop before the final 15. Aziraphale, entering the bookstore after talking to Metatron, met both ladies on the way out, but paid no attention to them, just as Michael paid no attention to Crowley in Heaven. Now were Crowley himself, together with Aziraphale, the bees that were fooled? Azi and Crowley let Nina and Maggie into the store thinking it was safe, but that was a mistake!

Oh, another poster in the fandom has argued this already! It was no coincidence that Nina and Maggie influenced Crowley's thoughts. And I did not believe this post initially. Well, now I bow to this transparent parallel. Maybe the girls were bewitched by Metatron, and it was not them themselves, but the fact of sabotage has been established.

Hint 3. "Portion (jigger)"

And Azi also says jiggery-pokery on stage. Remember Metatron's hefty jigger (huge spoon/portion)?

"Invitation for Crowley"

It's terribly sweet that Azi then says: "first, I shall require the assistance of a gentleman from the audience." That is, he needs Crowley as an ally in the final 15. But the demon doesn't immediately realize that he is being called from the audience, that he needs to raise his hand. He doesn't immediately realize in the final 15 that he needs to play along.

"Turn a turnip into an inkwell"

Aziraphale can't turn a turnip into an inkwell. And what a strange choice of objects, don't you think? I have the audacity to interpret this as Azi not being able to get through to Crowley. At least, the angel thinks it doesn't work. Oh, demon, you're being stupid, you're just a turnip! You've become so bright! You haven't done a single demonic mischief in the modern part of the second season, at least not intentionally! Where is your demonic ingenuity, where are your ink pens with sharp ends?

Although, to be fair, Crowley also tried to transform a turnip. But he couldn't either. Here, most likely, the parallel is this: he tried to stop time, but he couldn't. It's a pity that it is not yet known for sure about stopping time. We only have the clock hints.

But now that we can look, we have two confirmations in addition to the hands that stopped in the bookshop behind the demon! Crowley really tried to stop time in the final 15!

"Crowley is a Time Lord"

Hint 1. "Fez in a Trick Shop"

In the modern part of the story, Aziraphale and Crowley come to a magic shop and talk to a new salesman. It is no coincidence that Azi starts tempting this salesman with the book "Expert at the Card Table" to lure him to a meeting-ball, that is, he also seriously wants to share his expertise. Aziraphale worked like a real expert in the finale. Everything he did was great, necessary and correct.

And Crowley is cosplaying Doctor Who in a magic shop. It turns out that this famous Easter egg-reference to the time lord is not just there for fun, but works to understand the ending. Crowley's emotion is boredom, but maybe it rhymes with his impatience while Aziraphale was hesitating in the final 15.

Notice that Crowley, wearing the Doctor's fez, moves his hands over the glass ball, as if embracing and covering it. Why? We already know that there are no coincidences in parallels. Only now the ball is Earth. Because Crowley helped protect Earth from Armageddon in the first season by stopping time, like a true master of time.

It turns out that the demon in the final 15 did try to stop time. Now I find it hard to believe that the standing arrow was a blooper. Are bloopers even possible in the polished diamond that is Good Omens?!

Confirmation 2. "Doctor Who continued"

We were reminded that Crowley is a time lord by a shot in 1941 where he is sitting in the audience. The Good Omens team really did line up the shot with Crowley, as well as the return shot with Azi, so that I would notice the association of these shots with shots from Doctor Who, and Crowley himself with a time lord!

It's just a pity that the reminder of the power over time was given shortly before the key events on stage, and not at the same time as Crowley's attempt to turn a turnip into an inkwell. But wait a minute!..

Eureka!

Where else was "have a gold star" said by Crowley to Muriel? In the Season 1 scene at the airbase, Crowley said this to Adam shortly before he stopped time: "Well done. Have a gold star. Won't make any difference."

Update: And also at the airfield Crowley threw the book of prophecies into Anathema's hands, and in the bookshop he threw the book into Muriel's hands (thanks @kimberleyjean).

And in the final 15, we were given this reminder shortly before Crowley tried to stop time. Perfect symmetry with the first season and the audience in 1941 is guaranteed!

Now I need an assistant who will collect and analyze all the references to time in the series. Because the characters sometimes have too much time, sometimes not enough.

"Crowley takes the stage"

Although the miracles were blocked, and in both cases there was clearly some kind of crazy thing going on, but "sometimes you meet stubborn turnips." Crowley, despite suspecting something was wrong, still began his monologue-confession in the finale.

Well. “So... best get on to the main event. Tonight... I will take my life in my hands.” This is Aziraphale getting ready to catch a bullet. He is so cool, a real professional! In both scenes. Even though it is difficult for him. I am absolutely delighted!

When Crowley takes the stage, Azi, of course, tries to maintain the legend that Crowley is a randomly selected spectator. Look, audience, this is a complete stranger to me. Believe me, we are not friends. Do you hear that, Metatron, you bastard?

"Shot"

Well, about the angel's "aim at my mouth" only the lazy have not joked that it was about a kiss. In general, the phrase "aim at my mouth, but shoot past the ear" is too ridiculous to mean anything. But what does the ear have to do with it then? Is this the angel's words "I can't hear anything" about nightingales?

In the conversation shots, they often show Crowley from right behind Aziraphale's ear, and only his ear is visible. Not only is the angel's ear the only thing we see during the kiss, but Aziraphale also closes his eyes... Like in 1941 before the shot.

As for the meaning of the phrases "nothing lasts forever", as well as from 1941: "trust me", "at my signal" and "take this bullet and load it into the rifle.", I have not yet figured out exactly.   

But now we need to discuss the shot. And the shot is a kiss.

"Aziraphale in the crosshairs"

I noticed that the sight is the shape of the neckline of Maggie's blouse. She has a blue ribbon in the center of the dark circle of the neckline. Yes, the shape of the ribbon refers to the snake, because Maggie is an analogy with Crowley. But objects in the series often have a double meaning. Let me remind you that blue is Aziraphale's color, and red is Crowley's color. Just remember the paintball paint in the first season! They were both also shot at then. So now Maggie's blue ribbon is Aziraphale shown through the gun sights.

"The True Emotions of a Kiss"

When Crowley took aim, he was absolutely terrified. I wouldn't be surprised if he was in the same state when he realized he was kissing an angel. Aziraphale was also very scared to stand under the gun. But he trusts Crowley infinitely, and the fear during the kiss was most likely caused by Metatron watching them.

I think we shouldn't discount the incredible happiness and relief when they successfully completed the trick. Because in fact, if not for the circumstances, the kiss would have been a happy one for them. I add this hint to my collection of confirmations that the third season will end happily.

"Bullet in the teeth"

Apparently, that glimpse of spit in Aziraphale's mouth that fans noticed in the final 15 after the kiss was added by the creators to rhyme with the bullet in his teeth in 1941. I don't think there's a physical bullet in the ending. A shine of spit is just what is needed to connect scenes and sequence events. Paralleling objects are never completely identical. For example, even when we had three mirrors, they were still different: wall, table and pocket. So my opinion is that in the end it’s just saliva.

Update: I've already changed my mind. Crowley could have given Aziraphale an object through a kiss. I was convinced by the scene in which Maggie walks from her record store to the meeting-ball in a black and red T-shirt with a picture of a man in black glasses.

I'll quote from this Russian post.

"She locks her little store with a ✨key✨ and holds it at the level of the ✨lips✨ of the man depicted on the T-shirt. Then she puts the keys in her other hand and throws them into a ✨tartan✨ bag, which closes with difficulty. Probably, the kiss was so strange and long because the "bag" at first resisted the transfer of important information.

"I forgive you"

This phrase has a reference to the first season, so we can assume that this nightmare phrase for Crowley hints at something. Aziraphale, of course, was shocked, but remember that he also managed to behave Professionally. Maybe he wanted Crowley to at least later draw an obvious parallel: "Demon, you call me to go somewhere together, and I tell you that I forgive you, and then we overcome a huge threat together."

"Prediction for the third season"

The Magnificent Mr. Fell's speech has ended. What happened next in the fourth episode? In other words, what can we expect in season three? Friends, you don't have to wait any longer! The main thing is to look carefully!

Aziraphale saved Crowley with his utmost Professionalism by stealing an incriminating photograph from Furfur.

It all ended with a happy celebration in a safe place, complete harmony and mutual adoration.

"The Terrible Magician and the Ink Pens"

There, in 1941, in the book Crowley said that Aziraphale no longer needs to maintain the professionalism of a magician. Moreover, professionalism in each case is of its own kind. In 1941 - the art of a magician. And in the finale of the third season, Aziraphale will be able to leave behind the art of overcoming deadly threats.

Crowley himself at the end of the third season also no longer wants to be an aggressively sharp, honed ink pen. That's why he says immediately after the shot on stage, beaming with relief from happiness: "No paperwork."

Yes, there is some scatter in the timeline, but I still like this version. In both cases, hints to the third season are placed in the circumstances of a happy outcome of a deadly situation.

In short, we were promised that in the upcoming finale, the angel and the demon will be able to relax in each other's company. We will see them again in the finale of the third season with celebratory glasses in hand.

-

That's my main point. Thank you very much for your attention!

End of Series of posts "Breaking the "Good Omens" Code".

I invite you to read the two-part post "Crowley, Death, and Cups" about the false continuity error at the link, but only in Russian.

All my posts with analyses are here. Author @rada-76 Translator into English @kimberleyjean

[fractualized]

hi I sent that last ask and I appreciate you so much. I love how chill you are. I love that you speak up and aren't afraid of others people's opinions of you -- because you talking about that helps me realize exactly what you were talking about about.

my critical online space that shaped my brain was Tumblr growing up, much in the same way reddit or 4chan or anything else was for others, and as positive as it was and as much as I stay here, there were some HEAVY years of thought policing and performing perfectly at all times and I really think it fucked with my head!

not to trauma dump, but the way it related to starting off by policing each other in fandom just happened to spill into every other aspect of my life too. every thing is black and white. every interaction is perfect or you are flawed and not worth anything at all. people literally judging you off stupid fandom shit behind a fake name dressed up in sparkles and curiosity was enough to call you a monster who deserved to be alone. the fuck??

from fandom cops telling me that portrayals of fictional characters in my head were an actual meter that we can base if we're deserving of human connection made me think about what ELSE could be important. aren't there things a little more pressing than fictional characters?? the words I use. the way I behave. move my face. micro express, leave pauses in sentences, judged by everything! I've been taught that the LITTLEST OF INDICATIONS OF HUMANITY were going to be the death of me. I couldn't exist. all because of fictional themes that creators are allowed to make, but fans are not allowed to enjoy unless it's the "right way". even though the people CREATING it are also exploring it. rules for thee but not for me.

it's gross. I felt like a monster and when the only other people who are kind to you are monsters, it really makes you wonder why fandom cops find themselves so much morally superior to others 👹

People have told me I'm chill before and I'm always like, "excellent, they can't tell I'm yelling on the inside." 😂

Sometimes I wonder if I would be different if the show Heroes hadn't ended as such a clusterfuck. And by that I mean that my experience with that show ended on such a sour note, I wound up drifting away from fandom for 5-ish years. And it wasn't because of the Heroes fandom itself! It was because by the end I was hate-watching the show, and that kind of headspace is just no good. I wasted too much energy being mad at something that wasn't going to improve, and my other fandom interests weren't strong enough for fic, etc. I still lurked here and there, but otherwise I focused on life stuff.

At the point I left, tumblr was popular but I was still a livejournal (and journalfen) holdout. As a result, I was simply absent during the most intense tumblr years. I have a general idea of what it was like from everyone's descriptions, but from my point of view, five years passed, Telltale Batman: the Enemy Within came a-calling, I started writing fic again, and uhhhhh things sure were different.

Not entirely for the worse. For one thing, as someone who unavoidably grew older, yeah, I do keep in mind that there are children running around these parts. The increased focus on tagging your work is also good, so people can avoid what they don't want to see. And it's just always been a good general rule to be mindful when getting into sensitive topics, and I was seeing more of that.

Buuuuuuuut yeah, with that it seemed like "don't like; don't read" was out, and witch hunting was in. Some slight mistake might indicate you were actually one of the Bad Ones all the long! And everyone must know! I mean, there's always been fandom police, but fandom's mainstreamification definitely made it worse for a host of reasons. And I actually was unnerved by it for a while, even though the Enemy Within finale had me indulging in fluff. I was probably safe-- but then again who knows what blunder or improper deference to a sensitive subject could bring a swarm of strangers!

But eventually I was fluffed out, and chatting batjokes with people was giving me new ideas that would have me explore and indulge in (gasp) darker ideas. And by that point I was just like, I'm a freaking adult. I tag my shit. I'm here to have a good time with people I like, not worry about a bunch of randos who probably get as much anxiety making a cold call as I do. And yeah, why are fans supposed to be judged on a different metric than the creators?? I'm going to do what I want!

And with that rallying cry… I mean, nothing ever happened. 😂 Not the first time I've built up worries in my head for nothing.

I can see it taking me longer to get to that point if I'd fully marinated in the thought policing, though. I think people get that instinct because of the age-old lack of control elsewhere in life (especially nowadays, with all the… everything). Surely if someone can get everyone in their orbit to behave in just this way, then at least things there will be okay. Nothing bad will happen! (It's not as if rigid mindsets hurt people and their relationships, or performatively good people still do atrocious things. No, surely not.)

I don't have a good closing, so here's an Reno 911 icon from the old days:

[warsamongthestars]

I was in a rush when I did the first CX post, rage demanded I have no patience and must post (and I'm not sorry about that), but I wanted to expound on it more, probably with less spacer-swearing.

So.

I haven't seen arguments or stories about the CX clones beyond the Tech theory, and that's telling about how impactful they actually were on their own... which is, they weren't impactful at all. Their job on screen boiled down to "Look Pretty, Die to Hero", which is a waste of the potential that was being built.

They contributed little to nothing to the story and themes. (And I would argue that TBB has no themes beyond gift wrapping paper). There is nothing they did that can't be filled by the "Imperial Commandos" (All the RCs we kept seeing), the Elite Stormtroopers (going back to Season1), or even just, Stormtroopers but with a bit of spraypaint on.

And anything that they did bank on, particularly CX-02 (theorized to be Tech), didn't pay out, so it wasn't bank.

Let me break it down properly.

They're introduced as a threat as far back as Season 2, with one CX clone that commits suicide via electrocution (which is... a lot more awful way to go than the Spy Film James Bond Agent arsenic-in-tooth poisoning, lemme tell you). Then it was a bait-n-switch because were semi-lead to believe that the CX was Crosshair in those episodes.

And it wasn't.

Then we get introduced to CX-2 who had a trailer, a spooky voice (Not gonna lie, I did love that voice), a couple episodes of being the direct antagonist... and still didn't lead up to anything with his own death in battle. There were more CX clones that each had a unique body type, unique armor, and unique equipment, and yet... they didn't amount to anything save to be your Name-Your-RPG-Game-ENemies to be defeated.

Reasonable and easy story-telling says that CX-02, specifically is Tech. CX-02 did not turn out to be Tech.

If the idea was that it was a bait-n-switch like the first CX, let me assure you, its not. Anyone who claims otherwise is talking out their shebs, and should be boo'd off stage, preferably with fresh tomatoes.

Bait-n-Switch requires in-story build up, from direct and obvious scenes shown to the audience, to characters talking about it or having wishful thinking, and then paying it off by tricking them and or the audience by showing that our assumptions were wrong.

You have to show that you've planned for it. Stories that plan that sort of thing have beats you can follow. There are no beats to follow in TBB, because it insists on contradicting itself too much and never dedicating itself.

So by Character Standards, the CXs have already failed as a narrative tool. They were semi-teased on social media, set up in story, as soon as season 2, as a potential player among characters--only to fall horribly short when the time came to show-no-tell.

( This is not the fault of the concept, but the fault of the handlers. )

CX clones as a concept for Star Wars, are meant to equate to the clone assassins found in the Republic Commando books and encountered in the Comics, as well as the early 2000s Prequel Star Wars games. They hunt down those who won't go to war for the true sith masters.

CX Clones as a concept for the TBB story, are Clone Experiments (Because X as an acronym means Experiment) that are sent out to assassinate or disrupt non-imperial politicians, dissidents, and more; serving as direct antagonist to Rex's Rebels, with a vague CF99 flaire.

It starts with the implication that these are clones that believe in the Empire policies (... because the story at this point decided that the chip was non-existant and that clones are loyal to orders enough to commit slaughter and genocide on a flip of a credit chip... but that's an issue for a different discussion).

They are later, by showing us, found to be placed in cryostorage, and awoken ("Activated") to perform missions. This suggests a severe dehumanization; brainwashing, unethical medical treatments--what our TCWs fandom would call "reconditioning". They are treated as the very droids they once fought against, both in battle and in treatment of themselves. They are the clone trooper at the lowest possible point.

This places, by the show's very own set up implications, that CX clones are tragic figures who lost their humanity in the face of an unfeeling Galaxy, a dehumanizing and demoralizing Empire, and potentially, were being made during the Republic (Giving how many there are).

The TBB show follows, it outright shows what the CXs are about.

And then, it pays off its showing, by killing them all enmass, without conversation or consideration, without character's discussing or story revolving.

I don't know bout anyone else, but uh, I'm pretty sure most shows, that do the whole "my friend / family / lover was brainwashed-Possessed-Apart-Of-The-Hivemind, I must save them" bit... usually go for the "Save them / Fail to Save them" option, and not the "Mow them down and let the Force sort them out".

This isn't the first time this behavior by the narrative has happened--it treated Crosshair the same way; by making him the enemy for a season (because as the "Jerk" character, he is "obviously evil" and will "devolve into evil ways" the first chance he gets), for a reason that they outright show is why he turned, but then attempted to blame him for his choices (as if the show hadn't already shown us that, on Episode 1, they GREW THE TUMOR IN HIS BRAIN BY 3 SIZES LIKES ITS THE HEART OF THE GRINCH, and then never ever showed it was ever removed) [ Social Media posts don't count--if its not in-story, its not there, and if the TBB writers don't like it, tough shit], and then when the line came, the show decided to abandon him to the otherside whilst his brothers ran, in an awful attempt to keep "status quo".

CX clones are semi-intended by narrative to be a contrast to Crosshair, but the problem is, is that they're not by context. They're a replacement to him so that the show can maintain the shit status quo it caused by poor choices and disrupted for a bout of victim blaming to show some... lesson about guilt apparently.

They're not the Bad Batch's foils, nor their parallels, they're the antagonist to a group we only see a few times (Rex's Clone Rebellion), and they're meant to replace Crosshair as the Imperial Enemy / Rival Character.

... And that's not interesting, because once again, the TBB trips up with "Enemy of another story". Once again, the "true story" is elsewhere and we get the nonsense scraps.

What would've made the CX clones work, is if they were there since the begining. Instead of the stormtrooper Elites, it was CX clones that worked with a brainwashed-mindcontrolled Crosshair, to show a darker half of the Republic (which leads into how it became the Empire so fast), and actually give the Bad Batch a set of contrasts-foils.

If we intended to follow the Donut Steel as a legit story, then having the CX-Clones as Team Rocket to the Bad Batch's Pokemon Heroes, would've done a world of good for the story. It wouldn't fix everything, but it would keep to the intention of "Family", and we just top it off with the CX Clones with Crosshair, leaving their position to heal from their trauma away from Wars and Empires and giving a "fuller family" to Omega by the end.

This would've allowed exploration of clone life post-Republic, how both Republic and Empire treated the clones, as well as a lead into exploration of trauma, PTSD, analogs to non-consenting situations, shifts of government in to a darker state of leadership and policy, as well as how you survive such situations... and that's with those who have stuck with you thick and thin as "brothers".

But no. They're a wasted opportunity, wasted characters, and only serve as some bonus bosses. They are not allowed to contribute anything, because that would mean the writer's would have to explore them... and the writers can't even explore their own main characters.

Worse, because the Ending "The Calvary Has Arrived" was written before all 3 seasons were released, the CXs were doomed to die as shallow what-ifs, without history or impact.

Like its a fucking early 2000s fanfic on ff dot net.

[thispatternismine]

ATLA live action impressions part 2

Following on from last night's post, here are my impressions of eps 5-8

Still really loved it. Gonna be tarred & feathered for this but I actually like it better than the animated show

Highlights:

Ozai giving Zuko credit for finding the Avatar. There's this weird idea in the fandom that Ozai never intended to take Zuko back. Even though we saw him do exactly that at the beginning of Book 3. Yes he set an impossible task, but when Zuko (apparently) achieved it, he was like 'ok yeah cool - you have met my standards'. Sure, there's no way Zuko would have continued to meet those standards if he'd stuck around, but Ozai did actually keep his word. The fact that he does it to make sure Azula knows she's overstepped & remind her she's replaceable, is an especially nice touch

Getting to see how Azula is treated by her father. I've seen way too many people try to claim Azula was never abused because she wasn't literally set on fire like he was. Never mind that she avoided that fate only because she was able to meet his standards. And having to constantly strive to meet the standards set by someone who thinks 'find a guy who's been missing for a century' is a suitable task to set his kid is abuse.

Another annoying tendency of the fandom is to flanderise Ozai into some diabolical caricature who spends all his time thinking up new ways to torment poor Zuzu, so having that scene of him banishing Zuko was a nice touch. He genuinely believes he is being a good dad & raising his kid to be strong (note: This isn't me saying Ozai is right - I'm saying he thinks he's right.)

The 41st Division 😭

Iroh & Ozai interacting with each other

Gyatso!

I spy some female soldiers! A problem with the animated show was that it's all well & good deciding that the Fire Nation has female soldiers, but bias is a thing & 99.9% of the time if you ask someone to draw a soldier it'll be a man. Yeah sure they all stayed to guard the Fire Nation that's why we didn't see any till Book 3 suuure

"Anything you need." "It has to do with Koh." "Anything but that." DYING

Aang's whole speech to Zuko about how helpful his notebook was (let's be real Iroh probably sighed & told him it was a waste of time so this was the first time he heard 'Hey good job on the Avatar research!') & the way they bonded before he unwittingly set Zuko off

"Quit it before they think there's something wrong with you. More than there already is."

"The Firelord deems your performance... below average." OOF. Pretty sure that's the worst thing you can possibly say to Azula. She'd much rather be told she sucked outright than just 'meh'

Waterbender Yue

Non-arsehole Hahn

Using Kuruk lore from the Kyoshi books!

I like the changes to the NWT siege. Having the spirits' mortality be an occasional, temporary thing to gain an appreciation of life that occurs during a full moon when the powers of those who will protect them in that state are at their peak, makes more sense than permanent vulnerability that relies on nobody finding out. Also never made sense that a naval officer was stationed in a fucking desert & was able to just take time off to go through a spirit library, so having Zhao find his info from the Fire Sages works better IMO. I do hope we'll still get the spirit library though

Ozai's lil eyetwitch when Azula backtalked him like if you agree

Haven't mentioned yet but I love the costumes in this

Also never mentioned Momo, the Real Hero of ATLA

Sokka continues to be awesome

Lowlights:

June calling Iroh cute & fawning over him. Normally I'd think it's unfair for the live action version of a character to be held accountable for what the animated version did, but this leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like og!Iroh's groping of June being treated like a joke has been called out many times so they fucking had to know what they were doing

Why isn't Azula's fire blue? We got like 1 second of it & that's it. Maybe consistent blue flames are a power up she'll obtain later idk

[1000sunnygo]

for the ask game

kidd and doffy

Here's for Kidd:

I like that goofy goober hahah, probably my 5th favorite supernova after Luffy, Law, Zoro and Bege. Maybe it has to do with his voice actor being Namikawa Daisuke who has insane vocal range (Oikawa. that you??) I have so much respect for NamiDai for his amazing performance as Kidd and hope his efforts will pay off.

The fandom takes Kidd slanders too far, especially whenever they compare him to Law 🫠 He's literally stuck at SH's next destination, he has a higher chance of having redemptive screentime before Law.

The final arc in OP would be a full fledged war, it's not like being defeated means one's possible relevancy drops to zero. I think Oda still hasn't explored his earlier plans with Kidd yet, so I have high hopes.

As for Doffy.. well I'm a Doffy trash too.

M4rkim's Doflamingo rap might be my favorite One Piece video on the internet.

I was bummed to see him ranked 20th in the last official poll. IMHO you can't write a Shonen manga character better than this.

Take Cora and Law for example, 5th and 13th, I think their arcs would fall bland if you remove Doffy from their stories. But Doffy would STILL be intriguing and amazing as a character if you remove Law and Cora from his story, he's just that good.

Everyone has their own interpretation of Doffy and there's room for debate, there's still more about him to learn, he has never wasted a single panel he's in. What I like about Doffy most is probably how deeply he hates, especially Law, I don't think Oda has shown petty outburst better in any other character.

I hope he makes it out of Impel Down. No matter how terrible as a person he is, he deserves to see the fall of Celestial Dragons just as much as their other victims. Better if he gets to play a role. Even better if he shares that role with Law.

[deckof-dragons]

I was supposed to upload chapter 2 of my Aperture AU HLVRAI fic tonight but gosh, I just don't want to. I sat on that fic for so long because I was too busy with other stuff to upload it and the whole time I kinda thought people would be interested in it when I posted it. Like when I finished writing it I had a 'it sucks I can't post this right now because I like it and I'm excited to share' feeling about it.

Portal's popular so I kinda just assumed the fic would land well with the HLVRAI fandom. The fact that it hasn't is fine of course. People just aren't interested in what they're not interested in. It's certainly far from my first time being into something that isn't popular with the rest of whatever fandom I'm writing for. (I've long since learned my lesson about catering to what's popular in fandom after doing so made me actively dislike a fandom fav character I'd liked before who still haunts me to this day because it's a big fandom.) So I don't need the attention and most of what I post I don't expect it these days but in this instance I did think and expect more attention and even hoped for some engagement. In part that expectation was based off the performance of my other HLVRAI stuff, which in hindsight was a bit presumptuous; different vibes and all that. So I am very much not excited to post future chapters. I still will of course (just not today) because I like the fic and to get my total word count up just that little bit more. Also, the fic is done and only needs editing so it would feel like a waste to just leave the rest of it in my docs.

I can't rightly complain too much though. My 'WeverTF Benrey Is' and 'Gordon Swap' fics got far more traction than I ever would've expected. (Even if those fics being anomalies did contribute to my too high expectations.) So it's not like I'm bereft of interaction in my current fandoms. I just needed to vent a little to the void of Tumblr because feels bad, man.

[shadowredfeline]

Five in One Post

For my Filipino Friend’s On This Day Post

It was nice seeing Darwin rescue his brother and sister, since he is a fish after all, and I like the idea of saying Gumball and Anais could both be mermaids, even Nicole would enjoy being a mermaid too and the four of them can swim the ocean together.

For my A-Pal’s On this Day Post

First one

She does look really cute. I don’t know anything about Rock a Doodle, but I do know Don Bluth since he does make good movies. I remember watching a few of his films. I know my sister loves the Land Before Time just only a few titles depending on which one she likes. But I also remember watching another movie called Anastasia which that movie is quite good. Even my other sister likes that movie as well, I always like Bartok since he is funny, but I was also wanting to watch another movie called Bartok the Magnificent, since that’s how I would imagine Shadow and Lisa to perform magic together. And also I did watch another movie like the Secret of NIMH. I watched that movie with Luna on her Discord, and the movie is really good. Feivel was really good too. A lot of people enjoyed the original as well as for Feivel Goes West done by Steven Spielberg. Treasure of Manhattan Island is okay, when it comes to going through Island adventures. So with this minor character, she does look like an adorable Rabbit even what May and Windy would both do.

Second one

I do remember that Dog, Monroe from Juniper Lee, he does look funny for a dog like him. Cause if I was going to include him in Persona 4, it would be nice depending on what Monroe would do. Even June when I would add her on Social Links for Mac to hangout with.

For my Filipino friend’s trade with our G-Pal

I bet Sammir does enjoy going for walk, even when tries going into Autumn Forest. Plus I do like going out listening to music when I got to go for a walk with someone to get some exercise. I can even do that if I were to go to the store or a restaurant on foot or when I’m not trying to waste my battery on playing Pokemon Go.

Response to my Filipino friend

Yeah watching Classic shows on Cartoon Network since they’re so memorable. Plus I know on YouTube they have a channel called the Cartoon Cartoons which we’ve known from the past anytime we want to watch some classic shows. And I know Modern Cartoon Network can go overboard when Cartoon Network has used Teen Titans Go too much. Personally I never like Teen Titans Go either since they kept using a lot of Guest Appearances for every hero we known from the past. Plus that’s why Robin will be the Enemy when we do Cartoon Cinema Labyrinth. Even when we have Robin as the Final Boss for Cartoon Network in Persona 5 Royal.

[nightrae13]

I know we all need to hear this regardless if you believe it or not, but God loves you, you know? Bad things happen in this life because of our free will, because we deliberately choose to sin and be selfish. That sin caused death to exist and drove us away from God. However, God loves us so much that Jesus died to take up that punishment of our sins. Imagine that the only sinless man on this world was beaten and humiliated to death for all of us. Still, He rose again, and defeated death, so that if we believe in Him, tho our physical bodies will still die, we can still live again with Him in Heaven! I know some already heard this, and would think that I'm speaking gibberish, but I stand with my faith. If I can be corny with fictional characters and fandom (that I do enjoy but never really completed me and brought me peace), even more so with God!

I just went to confession earlier after I wasn't satisfied with how I read in the mass eve though it was already my seventh time. I realized that I performed poorly because I kept my world isolated out of guilt and pride with my own issues and grudges with myself and other people, and because I lived only for school and social media for so long. I closed myself and feel incomplete and distant. The same time, I also reflected on our Philosophy class about death, and our project to make a reflective essay about "Tuesdays with Morrie." That lesson and story got me thinking on "how long will I live like this? Living in fear from people because I don't want to be rejected for my beliefs? When will I stop going with the crowd instead of forming communities? When will I stop drowning myself with pride from admitting I was wrong and secretly hated others?" I may be young, but anything can happen, you know? As I learned from Morrie, he gave himself time to cry, but he moved on because he wanted to make the most of his life striving to be happy than waste it with regret. How long do we ponder in the past that we forget the present exactly?

TLDR: feel like this ramble is so unorganized but I just want to share how happy I am to go to confession earlier as a huge weight was lifted off me, and I can finally start again. I'm done living to please other people and living with hatred and pride. It's still a working progress, but it's all possible because God is there for me. Even if I backslid and avoided testifying then, He didn't give up. This happiness came because through His blood I am cleansed. Sometimes, we really forget how much He sacrificed for us, so that the Spirit can dwell with us to guide us in our lives if we accept Him. The priest told me that I should let go of my grudges and hatred for myself because God loves me. I hope you guys know that too <33

I know some Christians who'd read this aren't Catholic, but as someone who struggled with Catholic faith as well despite growing up as one, I do have to thank Impact Ministries (I recommend this vid btw) for enlightening me that confessing to fellow Christians does help even if God is the only one that can forgive us. Catholic or not, it really helps if you have someone to confide in with your struggles :)

[ca-suffit]

anon from this ask: https://www.tumblr.com/ca-suffit/757613676896337920/im-sorry-your-takes-are-generally-pretty-great-and?source=share

first thanks for hearing me out and your thoughtful response. had to think about it a bit and analyze some of my own biases. i think i have a certain amount of trust in the show around what I expect they're going to do with lestat in terms of examining the privilege he has (a white abuser in the spotlight telling his story would be a great topic to unpack, especially via daniel), but i know that's fully based on nothing! it would just be such a waste if they didn't. so I am putting more expectations on an objectively minor glimpse of information so I'll pare that back in my reply.

the one thing i wanted to clarify and emphasize was the 'groundbreaking'-ness of whatever lestat is doing here. i am not really arguing that he appears to be doing something cutting edge or never been done before, and i don't think he needs to be. (practically speaking, we're talking about art within an art aka a tv show, the art of a fictional character, there are limits.) given the large list of influences, they appear to be leaning into recognizable fashion and sound, but just because it's pastiche doesn't make it, like, uninteresting as a queer performance. on a more meta level, it's really fucking cool to see them leaning into glam rock and queer influences after the heterosexualization of Queen of the Damned, and letting a lead queer character be trashy and messy and also polarizing - not everyone is going to LIKE his music.

and yes it will speak to the individual. not every queer person will find this interesting. i guess what i wanted to defend was the elements of queer fandom who feel seen or moved by what they've decided to do here and i hate to see that get dismissed as memes alone or like no real queer person would find this good/worthy, as some of the other asks have implied, or that it's ONLY a symptom of white fandom. but i get that your blog in particular makes a space for fandom critique and there certainly is a lot of critique, and a lot of uncritical ~slay queen~ type response. i wanted to offer an alternative perspective, i guess. (and when I think of lestat making himself into a "queer icon", i personally don't mean a champion of activism or a beacon of positive representation. he's a horror character at the same time and has done terrible things. this is why I like the show, though.)

lastly, your point about the other characters and their art connections: absolutely!!! the fact that EVERY character here has an art connection for me makes this tv show a queer text in general. I want to add these art connections are complicated. lestat is as much a monster about music as it gives him humanity. louis's struggle with photography feels like a coda about his former struggles about his homosexuality. claudia giving up on her passion for the stage through armand's abuse is heartbreaking.

emphasizing lestat as the only artist would be a mistake. I think what sets him apart for me is that his art and also his queerness vs, say, louis and his art and queerness, is more of a divide between public vs private. louis did make an attempt to enter a public space and was shut down/discouraged. lestat reaching an in-fiction iconic status is a matter of privilege (as well as his personality, lol). i don't really have an argument here, just responding and hopefully adding to the discourse.

hi and thank u for coming back!!

despite what some ppl want my reputation to be, I do actually like talking about things and giving space for multiple perspectives. it helps nothing to take sides and be at war with each other all the time. a lot of why this fandom has gotten worse is bcuz ppl are doing exactly that. u can like whatever u like, but understanding the criticisms of the thing are crucial too. a big issue surrounding lestat is that ppl aren't used to his whiteness (or whiteness in general) being commented on. white fans, especially, will find it rly jarring to be perceived that way and take it rly personally. there's so many ppl here who think I'm calling them racist just bcuz I'm talking about lestat and prbly his white ignorance or smthing. they apply it to themselves and feel like a bad person for liking him. then they shut down and block me, even if our conversation was calm. white fragility is a hard thing to overcome.

there's not much u can do to avoid maybe being clumped in with white fandom if u like lestat, but it's not like the reality is that those are the *only* ppl who like him. that lie they perpetuate that everyone else is a lestat hater, loumand shipper or whatver is bullshit. they're overly simplifying a deeper issue bcuz they're racist, manipulative, and stupid. plenty of ppl like lestat and aren't part of that group. but u are gonna have to get used to being judged for liking him in some ways bcuz this fandom *has* made association with him a red flag. it doesn't mean *everyone* is gonna be hostile to u about it tho, but it does mean ur gonna have to change expectations and be a lot more open to hearing criticisms of it all. ppl aren't rly dismissing him outright or saying ur bad for liking him, it's just a fatigue surrounding his character and the fierce protection of whiteness this fandom has built around him (alongside anne's racist history and favoring of him too already). I mean, it seems like ur already aware of this, but just to put it into words too. lestat has always been an interesting, fucked up character and ppl should feel free to identity and explore whatever with him just like any other character.

tbh a lot of his point has been to be a little stupid and cringe anyway. idk how ppl read his narration and take it srsly and believe he's actually hot shit. he should be a disaster idiot rockstar with an ego that doesn't match his actual presentation. I'm hoping they might explore a lot with that. he's having a mental breakdown in every book but doesn't seem aware that he is, so what better way to explore that than with the white rockstar angle. that's p much all of them anyway lol and if ur queer (and a vampire having a neverending existential crisis) then even more so prbly.

[fauxkaren]

I Watched All of Doctor Who Series 1/Series 14 Today

I kinda thought it'd be fun to watch the entire series in one day instead of watching weekly AND I WAS RIGHT. IT WAS FUN. I muted lots of words across social media and managed to remain unspoiled so I got to just experience the series without any expectations. Would recommend as a way to experience the show, free of fandom nonsense and having no idea what might happen. OK SO. BRIEF THOUGHTS ON EACH EPISODE BELOW THE CUT. (Also for the record, I dropped off Doctor Who in Peter Capaldi's early episodes and then only tuned back in for David Tennant's specials last year. So I might be missing some stuff that is important? idk.)

Gonna assign each episode a letter grade because why not?

Space Babies (C) - The way things were explained made it SO obvious that they wanted this episode to serve as an introduction to completely new viewers. Which... fair enough. As a whole the episode was meh. I did like the Bogeyman made of literal bogeys, but "Babies Can Talk!" humor is not my cup of tea. Wouldn't choose to rewatch this any time soon.

The Devil's Chord (B) - A solid Monster of the Week type episode. The fashion was ON POINT and I like the idea of the importance of music to humanity. But the musical finale number was cringe and just not a good song so... docking points.

Boom (D) - I swear I tried to not have my pre-conceived Moffat hating influence me, but like this was a bad episode? It just WAS. SORRY. It was boring and SO heavy handed and the episode's pacing felt glacial. Only saving grace was Ncuti's acting, tbh.

73 Yards (A+) - UM WOW. I think the last time I felt this way about an episode of Doctor Who was like... Midnight? And I think the vibes of Midnight and 73 Yards are similar in that it's a simple thing that is VERY creepy. (The repeating voice vs a figure that stays exactly 73 yards away, always.) And the way Ruby used her to end the evil PM. AMAZING. Can I explain the time travel/time loop/time lines of it all? No. Do I care? Also no.

Dot and Bubble (A) - I LOVED the way this episode played against expectations. You expect it to be like: Lindy is a shallow person wrapped up in the virtual world but learns to engage with reality and become a hero. But like, no. She manages to survive, but she sucks, lmao. And all the people in her world suck. It was a twist that didn't feel unearned (I think the whiteness of everyone on the social media platform is a giant neon sign pointing to the ending) and also made the episode memorable.

Rogue (A-) -What a FUN episode. Absolutely CLASSIC episodic monster story. Also a 'single episode romance that ends tragically' for the Doctor isn't new, but the romance being a man was a good change to make it feel fresh. My only complaint is that it felt like Ruby was a bit too sidelined and in such a short season it feels like every moment she's not on screen is wasting the limited time we have to get to know her.

The Legend of Ruby Sunday (B+) - A decent episode and it was fun to see Rose, Kate and Mel again. The S Triad mystery was also pretty intriguing. (I was convinced for a while that Susan was actually a anthromorphized TARDIS who somehow went evil.) However, the episode relied way too much on handwaving technology stuff with the Time Window that I just did not get.

Empire of Death (A-) - Satisfying conclusion to the Sutekh stuff anchored by a really great performance from Ncuti. The reveal of Ruby's mom just being... an ordinary person was great. She was only significant because people imbued her with significance. We create meaning out of things that maybe don't have meaning. Also nice change of pace from characters needing to be The Most Special Being Ever.

Overall thoughts: The shortened season was a major bummer. I think it robbed us of more of the filler type episodes that can do a lot to build the Doctor and Companion characters and also develop the bond between them. So like... only having 8 episodes with them made the final episode feel kinda unearned?? I think we needed more time seeing them being bestie for their goodbye scene to feel believable. In spite of that, Millie was completely charming as Ruby and Ncuti was a powerhouse of an actor. An excellent Doctor!

WELCOME BACK RTD DOCTOR WHO!

[sassy-ahsoka-tano]

DADDY ISSUES - Part Fourteen: Sex, Money, Feelings, Die

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: You and Jerry are working together to uncover the Colonel's secrets. You think you finally have something but you have to get Elvis to hear you. How do you get him to listen to you when he's barely even there half the time? [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: guns, minor violence (when he shoots the tv, same as in the movie), strong language, elvis is a BASTARD in this chapter, # canceled

Rating: Pg-13 || Word Count: 3926

A/N: i really have nothing to say other than bring pitchforks and also tissues

Song Rec: sex, money, feelings, die - lykke li

This is Part 14 of Daddy Issues. Find the rest of the series here!

[ masterlist | taglist ]

🦋 mila

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

Almost two weeks pass without you having any contact with Elvis at all. You wonder if you did something wrong by pretending to be asleep, if he knew that you were awake and chose to punish you for it instead of talk to you about it. To be honest, you don’t care very much anymore and are even maybe a bit glad that you haven’t had to visit Elvis this week. You’re tired, so tired of taking on his stress. You have so much to deal with as it is and it feels like problems just follow Elvis wherever he goes.

You lay on the couch, depressed and completely drained of all energy, and realize that if you could see yourself now, you would have said no. If you could have had a cheating glimpse into the future to see what’s happened to you, where you’ve wound up, you would have said no and turned Elvis down for good. This isn’t what you signed up for or what you wanted from this arrangement. You’ve completely stopped going to any of his performances, stopped watching his old films, stopped listening to his music.

You just can’t handle it anymore. He’s too different, too unlike the man you thought you knew so long ago. He’s cold, like someone who doesn’t even know whether they’re alive or dead, awake or asleep. Sometimes you wonder if he even remembers who he is. The drugs have messed with his mind so much that he hardly acts like himself these days.

A couple of weeks ago, you went upstairs to check on him and make sure he was okay. Low and behold, you ran into Priscilla for the third time since becoming Elvis’ sugar baby. While you’d been ashamed the first and ambivalent the second, the third time was too much. You have no idea what they were arguing about that time, probably the same things that you wanted to smack Elvis around for. But Priscilla came wilding out of the room and once her eyes locked onto yours, you knew it was going to be ugly.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing with my husband? Who do you think you are, you little bitch! You’re not his wife. I am! I am his wife!” she shouted at you, pointing a finger directly into your face.

“Oh, please! Give me a break,” you shout. “Maybe if you were satisfying him, he wouldn’t need to keep me around! But you’re obviously not pleasing him because, oh look, I’m still here! And I’m not going anywhere anytime soon!”

“Oh, she’s selfish, too! And disrespectful! Reminds me of someone I know!” she yelled, glancing over her shoulder at her husband. “You two are fucking perfect for each other, really! I hope you have a nice life wasting time as you both fall into pits. You fucking disgust me!”

By this point, she was so close to your face that you could smell her perfume. But you didn’t give a shit. You weren’t backing down. At that moment, Elvis was yours and yours only. Priscilla clearly wasn’t enough for him since he was constantly searching for other ways to get pleasure. You folded your arms over your chest and stared her down until her face broke and tears began to leak from her eyes. She turned around and shoved Elvis hard into the doorframe. His face fell into anger and he reached out to grab Priscilla but she was already flying down the hallway, burying her head in her hands. You glanced up at Elvis with a flat expression, unimpressed and uncaring. It’s his fucking fault all three of you are in this situation, anyway. When opened his mouth to speak, you spun on your heel and stalked down the hallway away from him before he got a chance to say anything.

You run a hand over your face and shake your head to dispel the memories. You’re exhausted and you just want to go home. Back to a home you don’t have anymore.

A knock at the door sounds and you stand up, opening it to see Jerry on the other side. You breathe a sigh of relief and open the door so he can come into your room. You and Jerry have grown quite close recently. He’s been sharing information with you and you’ve been conducting your own research to find out what you can, including chatting with Elvis about the Colonel. You were making good progress until…

Anyway, you’re spending a lot more time together. If it weren’t for Jerry’s support, you would have flown out of there a lot sooner. But you couldn’t leave him now, not when you’re both onto something.

“Jerry!” you smile for the first time in what feels like forever. “I’m so glad to see you!”

Although you smile, his face is grave and his lips are turned downward.

“I’m not…in trouble am I? You seem upset…” you say but he shakes his head.

“No, nothing like that. But I do have some information for you. It’s important.”

Your eyebrows shoot up and you nod.

“What’s this about? Did you figure out why he fled Holland?”

You both sit on the couch, your attention pulled directly to him. The last time you talked, you were both trying to uncover why the Colonel left Holland, where he’s apparently really from.

“No, this information is of a much more…personal nature.”

“Oh?”

“I found out where your money’s going. Or not going, that is,” he says.

“That’s great! What did you find out?”

“I was right. The Colonel’s been blocking your payments. Apparently, according to my sources, he doesn’t find your position necessary so he’s been stopping the payments that were supposed to go through to pay off your debts.”

“Why am I not surprised. But I don’t understand; Elvis still gifts me things all the time, expensive things. Besides, he said he’d take care of my debts. He ensured me he'd handle it. Why hasn't he?”

“Not sure. My guess? Elvis brought it up to the Colonel, who lied to him and told him your debts were being taken care of. The Colonel can’t stop him from buying you objects because those come out of his own pocket and once they’re purchased, that money is gone. But from the looks of it, he’s doing everything he can to stop the payments from going through. I took care of it in the meantime, but I’m not sure how much more I can help you with it."

You nod, squinting your eyes in displeasure. Just one more reason for you to despise that humpty-dumpty looking man. He doesn’t approve of you…or your role. You scoff and shake your head.

“He doesn’t approve of my role,” you repeat. “When he’s the one taking fucking 50% of Elvis’ earnings and gambling it all away like a bastard. I wanna get him more than ever, Jerry.”

Jerry smiles mischievously and nods.

“Good. Me too. I have an idea. I’m not sure that it’ll make a difference but maybe we can try it?”

“Sure. Anything to take this motherfucker down. What’d you have in mind?”

“I was thinking that you could just bring it up to Elvis. I have a few documents here,” he pulls out a folder from behind him that you hadn’t even realized he was carrying. He hands it over to you and you flip through the pages. “These are all official, authorized documents of bills, receipts, transactions, everything that I could find to show that the Colonel is a fraud, a liar, and a criminal. I’ve tried to find the time to talk to Elvis, but he’s so busy nowadays and I think the Colonel may have an inkling of what we’re doing. I think he’s trying to keep Elvis away from me and maybe even from you. Not to mention that Elvis hasn’t been himself recently. Even if we were to reach him, I’m not sure that he’d hear us or care.”

“Yeah, I’m…not sure that will work. I haven’t seen Elvis in almost a week and the last time we saw each other, things weren’t going very well. I sort of stormed out on him.”

Your mind plays again through the events of your most recent night with Elvis and you shudder.

“Well, I’ve noticed he has a soft spot for you so maybe you could just try? I know it might not the best or most effective plan but I think it could work. It’s our best shot until we can figure out something else to do. Don’t think I forgot what you did for us all during the ‘68 special with ‘If I Can Dream.’”

Your eyes widen. You’ve completely forgotten about all of that. It all feels so long ago now. You nod, closing the folder and sticking out your palm. Jerry shoots you a confused expression but takes your hand anyway. You shake it vigorously.

“Mission accepted. I’ll go after dinner. He’s usually more amenable at night when he’s tired.”

And so you do just that.

After a small dinner for which you have absolutely no appetite whatsoever, you grab the file folder and press it close to your chest as you make your way upstairs. You don’t bother to change or get dolled up. You have no intention of using your looks or influence on him to persuade him to look at the documents. To be honest, you’re too tired and uninterested. Plus, you’re not even sure it would work. He doesn’t seem to be that impressed with you anymore. Your novelty must have worn off, just as his has for you.

You pause outside the door and take a deep breath, reminding yourself to be patient with him, especially if he seems out of it or incredibly high on whatever drug cocktail he’s taken today. As you pause, you suddenly hear voices inside, Elvis’ and a woman’s. You listen for a moment, not recognizing the voice as Priscilla’s this time. Shaking your head, you twist the nob but find it locked. Huffing, you raise your fingers to knock on the door.

When no one answers after a few minutes, you reach into your pocket and pull out your key. You twist it into the lock and open the door, stepping into the room. Before you even have a chance to call his name, something whizzes past your body and smashes into the glass screen of one of his televisions. You scream and drop the folder, reaching your arms up to cover your head as several more shots are fired.

Silence settles and with shaky breathing and a vibrating body, you remove your hands and glance over to see Elvis stumbling around in his robe with a confused expression on his face, wielding one of his prized pistols. You look back over your shoulder to see that he’s blown out every single one of his televisions. Glass is shattered everywhere on the floor and although you don’t feel any pain, you check your body just to make sure. As far as you can tell, you’re uninjured. You turn back to Elvis, a furious look on your face.

“Oh, hey princess,” he slurs, sticking the gun into the belt of his robe. “Whatcha doin up ‘ere?”

Your eyes flick to the left when they detect movement and your face only grows angrier when you see a tall, skinny woman in her underwear and a bra clutching onto the covers. You at her with unwavering rage.

“Get out,” you say through gritted teeth.

You momentarily feel guilty as you watch the terrified girl grab onto her clothing and scurry out of the room, her eyes wide and face horrified. But when your gaze returns to Elvis, you’re filled with a wrath that you didn’t even know you had.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you hiss. “You could have shot me!”

“Nah, baby I thought you was an intruder that’s all…” he approaches you as if to wrap his arms around you. You swat his arms away and step backward.

“No. Don’t you dare touch me right now. How could you be this reckless? This careless? You could have shot and killed that poor girl, whoever she is. You could have shot and killed yourself! The glass from the TVs could have hurt someone. This isn’t a fucking toy!”

You lunge forward and pull the gun from his belt. After you did it, you realize that you probably shouldn’t have. What little you know about gun safety tells you that was maybe a bad idea but you already feel safer with the gun in your own hands.

“Hey, give that back to me. That’s mine,” he says angrily, pointing at his own chest.

“No. You’re in no state to be wielding a loaded weapon with actual bullets in it. How fucking high are you?” you ask.

You grab onto his chin harshly and tilt his head toward the light so you can see his pupils. He pulls away harshly but not before you get a decent enough glance to see that they’re incredibly dilated. A few moments of silence pass as Elvis stumbles backward and falls onto the bed, his head flopping down uncontrollably. As he sits there, leaning to the side like a dehydrated flower, you feel pity.

“Mr. Presley,” you say more softly now, making your way over to sit next to him. “What’s wrong? Why won’t you talk to me? You used to tell me when things were wrong and I used to help. You’re not well. You need to rest, take a few weeks, get better. You can’t keep going on like this.”

“What the fuck do you know? You don’t know anything bout me. I’m fine,” he lifts his head. His glazed-over eyes look unforgiving and cold in a way that proves to you just how sick he is. They look faded, almost grey.

“No. You’re. Not. People who are fine don’t shoot guns at their television sets. They don’t destroy their own property, do drugs twenty-four seven, cheat on their spouses. You’re sick and you need help.”

You reach out to touch his arm but he jerks away and stands up, stepping away from you and back over to the spot in his bedroom where he keeps all of his guns. His collection.

“Why don’t you just stay outta my fuckin business. I don’t pay ya to ask me how I’m doin. I pay ya to suck my dick and shut up.”

It takes everything in you not to slap the shit out of him right there. Your body is filled with rage. Your teeth clench and your fingers curl into fists.

“Fine. If this is how you wanna be, then I’ll go.”

Elvis laughs, almost sadistically, as you get up from your seat and start toward the door.

“Don’t be so fuckin dramatic, princess. Why can’t you stay? What the hell’s wrong with what I given you? Don’t act like you don’t like it. I know it gets you off to give me pleasure.”

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you act like I’m being ungrateful! Do you even know what I’ve done for you, what I’ve given up, what I’ve sacrificed? I have no friends and no social life. You drove them all away. Did you know that I was seeing someone? Max, the stagehand. You remember him, don’t you? I liked him, Elvis. Really liked him and now I never get to know what could have been between us because you scared him shitless. Because you’re so fucking possessive, I-”

“Possessive? I’m possessive! You’re the one who got into it with my wife. More than once, I might add. But, no, I’m the possessive one.”

“You gave me a fucking collar! I’m not a dog!”

“Nah, but y’are a bitch,” he replies without missing a beat.

You respond, too, without missing a second. But your reply doesn’t involve words. Instead, it’s your open palm flying through the air and connecting with his cheek. The air is silent after the loud and harsh clap that sounds when you’ve slapped his face. Your chest is heaving and you’re breathing with so much rage that you can hear your breath when it leaves your body. His face remains frozen in the place where you’ve slapped him, his eyes closed tightly together and his chest heaving angrily.

“Fuck. You. I sold that necklace,” you hiss at him. “You wanna know why? I sold it to pay my bills, my debts. The ones you promised you’d pay. Remember when you told me you’d take care of it? When you told me not to worry about anything? When you pursued me without my consent and continued to do so even after I’d rejected your proposal? When you humiliated me in front of everyone, on multiple occasions? People I didn’t even know. On days when I didn’t want to suck your dick, when I didn’t want to be violated by you but I put that aside for your benefit? When I dropped everything, my entire life, to move out here to make you happy?”

“You lucky I paid you anything, specially considerin your attitude lately. Ungrateful brat.”

You scoff and shake your head. He says nothing but lifts his gaze, tilting his chin so that he’s looking down his nose at you. His face is scrunched up in an expression of disgust. You nod at his silence. As you step backward, your heel catches on one of the pieces of paper that you dropped. You laugh angrily and lean down to pick up the scattered contents. Most of the paper is still inside the flaps but several have fallen out. You hold it up and shake it.

“I used to think if I only had more money, all my problems would be solved. Money can’t fix everything, apparently. They’re right what they say, that money doesn’t buy happiness. Because I’ve never been more unhappy in my life.”

He shakes his head dismissively and clenches his jaw as he stares down at you.

“I was coming up here to help you. To tell you that the Colonel is bad news. That Jerry and I have been working on uncovering exactly what he does, how he does it, and how it’s hurting you. And the fact that my bills aren’t being paid because the Colonel’s making sure the payments don’t go through. And the fact that the Colonel takes 50% of your earnings,” his head snaps up when you say it, confusion flooding his face. “Yeah, that’s right. I’ve seen the receipts; I know about that.”

“And what the hell do you expect me to do bout it?” Elvis asks, throwing his hands up.

You clench your jaw and then throw the folder at him. It smacks into his chest and he stumbles back as the remaining papers go flying out of it. You tangle your fingers into your scalp and scream angrily before turning back to him.

“Fire him! Get rid of him! Why are you so indebted to this man? All he’s done is betray you and use you and abuse you? God, everything about you is backward. You’re an heartless bastard to the people who care about you and an absolute angel, a slave, to people who’ve done you nothing but wrong!”

“God damnit! Why do you even care so much bout me? We barely know each other! You ain’t got no obligation to care about me! You’re usin me just like everybody else does! I’m just a way for you to pay your bills, ain’t that right?”

“No!” you scream.

“No? Then what the hell am I to you? Why do ya care so much?”

“Because I love you, Elvis!” you shout and immediately falter.

You feel like your entire body is about to drop to the ground, your legs turning into noodles. Your heart slams against your chest and you drop your gaze, shame and embarrassment flooding through you. You wait, agonizing through the silence that follows your confession. When he doesn’t respond, you glimpse up at him. Although his sea-blue eyes are still glazed over, you can see that he’s finally focused on you, aware enough to recognize you. You guess your confession snapped him out of his drug-induced coma.

“I don’t…”

“Of course not. I don’t expect you to say it back,” you finally whisper. “I’m sure a million women say that exact thing to you every single day. Why should you care? You get your happily ever after anyway. You’re already married with a wife who still loves you, despite everything that you’ve put her through, all that you’ve done to her. You have a beautiful, wonderful daughter who’s gonna grow up to be such a lovely person. You’re not in this relationship for love, you have plenty of that. You don’t need it. You were only here for sex. The whole time I was just something to fuck, an object. I knew that when I agreed to this. I should have remembered it better.”

Your voice cracks as the reality of your unhappiness begins to settle.

You used to feel like the trap you were caught in was a privilege, a lust-filled dream that would only tease you and then indulge you eventually when it was ready. Now, you realize it was a prison. And you were being tortured every step of the way. You give him one chance to say something to make you stay, mostly deluding yourself into an extra moment of longing and hoping that he will. Not unsurprisingly, he doesn’t and silence envelops you in her wings, shutting you off from him forever. You nod resolutely and turn to leave.

“Y/N,” he says, lunging to grab onto your wrist.

Your heart shakes in your chest. He never uses your name, always calls you princess or doll or sugar. But never by your name. It feels too intimate, too personal now. It makes you think for one moment that he might actually love you in some small way. But you’re smarter than that. You shake yourself away from him and glance over your shoulder. You feel emotion rising in your chest, the tips of your fingers aching with sadness. You are powerless to stop the tears that quickly rise into your eyes.

“I can’t keep waiting for you to get better,” you say through the tears that are streaming down your face. You feel your face screw up and look away from him. “I can’t.”

You want nothing more than to run to him and touch his warm skin, kiss him all over, pull him close to you. But when you glance over your shoulder and meet his glassy eyes for the last time, you realize that this isn’t the man you want. You want the one who makes you laugh, whose eyes twinkle, whose humor is off the rails and unhinged. You want the man who bought you the most obscure record that you passingly mentioned one time. You want Elvis, not ELVIS. But you’re not even sure who either of those men are anymore.

You take a deep breath and turn, walking away from the man you love with all your heart.

When you step back into your room, you immediately go to the phone and dial in the very familiar number. After waiting for the ring, you hear the most beautiful voice you’ve ever heard in your life.

“Hello?”

“Hi Trixie.”

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