#Third Crusades

[jurakan]

Fun facts about the Crusades?

Today You Learned about Frederick Barbarossa.

I wasn't planning to use his profile pic from Wikipedia, but I just thought it looked kind of funny.

Born in 1122, Friederich I, nicknamed 'Barbarossa' because of his red beard, was the Holy Roman Emperor. This dude has a reputation as a badass. See, the Holy Roman Empire (not the same as the Roman Empire you probably think of) wasn't quite as awesome as it had been in the past, so Friedrich wanted to fix that. Upon ascension to the throne, he solidified his power base, did international politicking like a pro, made friends with the Pope (though his relationship with the Papacy later turned sour), and proceeded to wage several major campaigns in northern Italy to re-establish Holy Roman presence there.

He grabbed the relics of the Three Magi and put them in Cologne, Germany, where they're kept to this day. He worked hard to get Charlemagne canonized--which kind of happened, by an antipope though, so it doesn't actually count for us Catholics. He built a friendly rapport with the Byzantines. And then he built tons of family connections by getting kids hitched to Italian nobles.

Also! Fun fact: while he later put a tax on the Jewish population of his kingdom, he also passed laws protecting them, and punishing anyone who would preach against or harm them. Which in this point of history is mind-blowing.

Dude didn't have a spotless record, but he was a certified badass and experienced statesman.

And then the Third Crusade happened.

After a sermon pitching another Crusade, Freddy Barbarossa asked an assembly if he should take the Cross. The crowd overwhelmingly cheered for it, and so he did, making preparations to go East and free the Holy Land. And this Crusade was going to be AWESOME, right? Three Kings on Crusade: Frederick Barbarossa, Philip II of France, and... some guy from some island people hardly cared about.

[That last one's an exaggeration, but I'm doing it for dramatic effect so stick with me.]

Philip and the other guy decided to sail. Friederich went over land, with an army a hundred thousand strong, with tens of thousands of knights. This was THE SHIZ, man, he was going all out. They had some opposition on the way, because some kingdoms don't like it when you march an army through them! But they pushed through, and this was going to be the Most Awesomest Crusade Evah. Saladin was quaking in his boots.

So, uh... yeah, he stopped somewhere on the way there, and uh... drowned.

Goshdarnit, Friederich.

There are conflicting accounts as to how that happened. Some say he went swimming across the river and drowned in unexpectedly strong currents. One account says he got thrown from his horse and drowned because he was in his armor. Some (including some Saracens) declared it was God's punishment.

Regardless of exactly what happened, we still had a dead Holy Roman Emperor. A lot of his army just packed up and went home. Philip of France saw that the biggest guns for this operation were gone, and decided he's also turn around. Without Frederick Barbarossa, it was going to be a bust.

And so that third guy, that nobody from a backwater? He decided not to go home. He decided, "Screw it! Frederick's dead, and the French are leaving! I'll do this Crusade on my own!" And he did; it made his career (and arguably bankrupted his country). For his role in the Third Crusade, Richard, the last guy standing, was later known as "King Richard the Lion-Hearted".

[Okay, so England wasn't exactly a backwater no one cared about, but it wasn't considered as important as France or the Holy Roman Empire. Richard helped make them more noticeable on the medieval world stage.]

For whatever reason, some people decided that it was difficult to believe that Frederick got himself killed so lamely. So there's a popular German legend that came up in the Middle Ages claiming that he's not dead, he's just sleeping under a mountain somewhere, and will pop back up when he's needed.

Of course, given German history, you can probably guess what unsavory sorts co-opted this story, or the imagery of Frederick as the great warrior king, while also forgetting that he put up historic protections for the Jewish people. The Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union was titled "Operation Barbarossa" after this guy.

Nazis suck and they lie about history. What else is new?

Putting the 'fun' back in 'Fun Fact', Barbarossa's death is also a major Plot Point in the novel Baudolino by (the notably anti-fascist) Umberto Eco, where it's turned into a bit of a mystery. Also there's a lot of weird stuff in that book, and Barbarossa's death is maybe the least weird thing going on.

Hope this was an enlightening Fun Fact for you!

[puppyeared]

(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time

[squish--squash]

can someone tell my axe to come back I uh. kinda need it.

[hacash]

ok new game - if your current writing project (original or fic or whatever) was published tomorrow, what about it would make booktok denounce you as problematic? rb with answers in the tags

[vox-anglosphere]

King Richard I met with his knights here to launch the Third Crusade

[howtotrainabraincell]

Greetings my fellow AC mutual!!!

Lately I have been reading all your canon posts here and may I say that I love them all. You have created amazing canons here. I'm feeling extra romantic so here's an idea: how would the Assassins, including Templars, feel on their wedding day? The before, during and after the wedding. You can choose all of them or a few of them.

Please and thank you 😊🙏 and have a wonderful day today.

Sure thing! This is a cute one!!

A/N: I may not have put it in each one, but they will respect their wife's wishes to not be intimate on their wedding night (whether it be fear or being exhausted from the festivities). But...I mean come on. Who wouldn't want to have a wedding night with any of them?

ALSO, there may be multiple parts to this bc there's A LOT I got going on in this mind of mine when it comes to this lot getting married...

Jacob Frye

Before:

You know this man will have his Rooks there lolll they'll be throwing the biggest loudest bash London has ever seen in honor of their Boss getting hitched. He just might make Greenie his best man (he teases the man to the ninth realm and back but they're good buddies for real).

Jacob takes this seriously. He's still his wonderfully goofy and chaotic self but he takes certain aspects of marriage more seriously. He wants her to know that he'll be good to her, he'll protect her with his life, and he'll love her even after he dies. He also takes setting up a home for her seriously. The man isn't for anything lavish and she isn't either (her cozy non-materialistic ways are something that majorly attracted Jacob to her - high key don't think he'd like somebody who was materialistic, as happiness is in life not things) but he wants to set up a nice little place for them to call 'home' together. A place where they can be together as husband and wife and hopefully have a handful of little rooks running around one day. A place that's theirs and theirs alone.

During:

He thinks she looks beautiful in her wedding dress (he bet she looks even better out of it tho...PFFT). He'll never admit to it, but his eyes began to sting at the sight of her - and of course he wasn't rubbing the tears from his eyes throughout the ceremony! He just had something in his eyes...

He's very genuine and sweet when he recites his wedding vows 'In sickness and in health, etc.' to you, both of you having decided to save the personal vows for each other privately. (Heads up Jacob cried when he read her letter of vows and promises to him, he couldn't believe how sweet it was. Man was legit sitting there thinking 'How'd I get such a wonderful wife?'). He genuinely cannot believe that he found a wife who loves and accepts him for him. Rest assured that any insecurities Jacob has before they marry will soon be gone because his wife loves him the way he's always deserved.

Once the marital vows are said and done, they move on to the exchange of rings...and that's when the tears start.

Jacob knows that she isn't materialistic and that she doesn't need a fancy ring to know that he loves her, but he thinks she deserves it, and he has just thing in mind. Something that compliments her eyes because they're one of his top favorite (and he has a lot lol) things about her. Something that reflects the joy in her eyes when she laughs, the smile crinkles she's developed from years of managing to laugh through her struggles, and the swirls of color. Jacob would definitely enlist the help of his big sister in finding a ring for his soon to be wife and does.she.come.through. When it comes time for the ring exchange, he's pleasantly surprised to find that she put just as much thought into his ring as he did hers.

Both are engraved with confessions of their love for one another and intricately designed to match the spouse they were made for.

After:

He would enjoy the celebration, and it would be planned and based off of how his wife feels about such celebrations. Jacob being a bit more extroverted is likely to enjoy socializing and having a big get together - and if his wife is the same way then great! But if she's more introverted and can only take so much he's whisking her away, so she doesn't get stressed out. I actually think that he would want to be alone with his new wife and not just for *wink wink* but he wants some alone time to just have a slow moment with her. He would enjoy the celebration his Rooks put together for them and she thinks it's so sweet that they went all out, but as we know Mr. Frye has a tendency to act rashly when he becomes impatient. Next thing you know, he's scooping his wife up without a care in the world and carrying her off with a grin five miles wide, her face the exact replica of a tomato as she clings to him, and the Rooks cheering them goodbye as Jacob carries her off.

If she's afraid of the wedding night activities this man is instantly comforting her assuring her that he doesn't expect anything, he would never hurt her, and he'll wait for her. If she's tired? He is too honestly (he does have a lot of energy, but I imagine when he's alone he just OOF crashes but doesn't want anyone to see it. I mean he does have a full-time job annoying Evie ofc lol what else are baby brothers for?) so cuddling and going to sleep together is just fine with him. But if she wants him - tired or not - he'll give her everything he's got and then some.

Do I need to go into Jacob's wedding night? I mean... it's Jacob. The man lives to serve and please. And please he does...

Bayek of Siwa (I included him bc he legit started it all technically a Hidden One but potato pitatoh)

Before: This man is joyful on his wedding day. He's so excited to marry her and spend their days together. Whether this is after his divorce from Aya or we're not going with cannon and it's his first marriage - this man wants to be a husband, he is husband material. He can't wait to pledge himself to her before the gods and dedicate his life to loving her. He can't wait for her to be his wife HOWEVER - If we're going with cannon he was rejected when he proposed to Aya, so he has some understandable hesitancy when he proposes to his love. Can you blame him? He really loved the one he proposed to the first time and got shot down poor guy. It's the second time he's proposed in this life, and he does not make the mistake of thinking that just because they're in love that she'll say yes. He made that mistake before, and it felt like a knife to the gut.

BUT - If we're going with head cannon... this time he found himself a woman who was ecstatic to be proposed to by him (and I mean literally ecstatic like she tackled him in happiness making him laugh his ass off before she showered him in kisses and said yes).

If sticking to cannon he is worried and afraid deep down to remarry. He loves her very much so much in fact he believes that he very well loves her even more than he loved Aya (which like WOW ya know what I'm saying?). But when he's around her all fears and worries are eased and he comes to his senses knowing that he would forever regret not spending the rest of his life with her, now that he's met her and has her in his life.

Headcannon wise he's still a bit scared as being a Medjay is stressful and a known profession in which one is likely to gain enemies (insert middle finger to members of the order of ancients). He worries about her being targeted but he knows that she can take care of herself (she'll make one hell of a Medjay's wife that's for sure LOL). He also fears that it would be selfish to marry her and put her in danger - but upon sharing this fear with her she quickly dismantled his fear. Whether they marry or do not marry, either way - she could possibly be targeted by his enemies, to this he agreed. Then she asserted that it would be better that they face their adversaries together with their love motivating them to eliminate all threats, than to face those who oppose them separately. To this he simply smiled and hugged her tightly melting into her embrace.

During: They didn't really have weddings in Ancient Egypt more so the signing of a binding marriage document, the woman moving into the man's home to live with him as his wife, and then it could/would be followed by a celebration. However...that is Egypt as a whole...not Siwa. Those of us who have seen this beautiful spot in Egypt where beloved Bayek is from, know that it's beautiful and lively (quite frankly a great place to start a family) and you just know that Bayek is from a community that loves him. They're going to throw him and his intended a celebration to end all celebrations.

Hepzefa ISN'T dead I.DON'T.CARE - he's absolutely Bayek's best man.

Bayek in his armor and her in a linen dress covered by a layer of sheer fabric with a lily in her hair, as they get married in the evening when it cools off, the sand unable to burn their feet and the sun unable to glare in their eyes so they can actually look at each other lol. Any fear he had is gone when he sees her at the end of the aisle. They meet each other at the end of the aisle and join arms to walk together toward Hepzefa (who OFC is marrying them obvs). They make their vows before the gods to love, cherish, respect, support and be honest with each other for as long they both live.

After:

Again, if we're sticking to cannon, I think that Bayek would move in with his new wife instead of her moving in with him. A new home and a fresh start with his new wife, is just what this man could use after his arduous journey.

Headcannon however they would move into their own place in Siwa together and work together to make their home everything they dreamed it could be. I HIGHLY believe that he would find a way to make a pond for her filled with water lilies (his nickname for her btw - she's his "beautiful lily").

After a night of dancing, laughter, feasting and sheer happiness they would go home together. They would end the night by sitting on the roof of their new home together watching the Oasis of Siwa from afar, bundled up tightly together in a blanket against the chill air of the Egyptian night. He would point out the different spots of Siwa from they sat, but mostly they would admire the beauty of the moon on the oasis not too far away. They might even go for a swim in the cool waters together, laughing and splashing each other. Tell.me.he doesn't sneak attack her from underwater lloollll. They'd spin around in the water easily with Bayek holding her against him and smiling as she gushes about how much she's enjoyed the day.

I don't think Bayek would make love to her on the banks of the oasis for their first time the man has romantic plans that he plans to woo her with lol. (Later on, in their marriage though...woo!) Rest assured that their first time will be sweet and romantic, he'll make her as comfortable as possible, with pillows everywhere and candlelight guiding their hands within the walls of their home.

Also like the idea of them traveling to Alexandria together and having their honeymoon there. Them exploring the Alexandrian Lighthouse together, the library (shortly before it BURNED DOWN DAMN YOU CAESER), horseback riding through the sand dunes and around the lush greenery near the Nile, going to the markets together and giggling about whatever it is that they find funny, sailing on the Nile together and fishing/gathering reeds for various projects, THEY WOULD CLIMB THE PYRAMIDS TOGETHER CHANGE.MY.MIND.

Evie Frye

Before: Their wedding isn't one that can be celebrated openly but they still have a celebration that is the epitome of love. The two women had both agreed to write their vows for one another and exchange them after the wedding, wanting to keep their promises to each other and words of love just between them.

They couldn't decide on names lol. Evie wanted her last name, and she wanted Evie's last name. But they quickly came up with a solution as they both have brothers. They decided to hyphenate their last names for some extra cover. Evie becomes Mrs. Frye-(L/N) and she becomes Mrs. (L/N)-Frye. That way no one would suspect them being married and if anyone ever asks, Evie married one of her (wife's) brothers and is her "sister-in-law" the same way Jacob is a stand in husband for Evie's wife and she is Evie's "sister-in-law". History will say that they were sisters in law hahaha.

But for real though tell me why they end up calling each other "Mrs" SO MUCH in private (Evie almost forgets that she's a Dame bc she gets called Missus *insert her last name* so much by her wife haha).

During:

Not able to shout their love from the rooftops unfortunately, the couple settles to have a very small and private ceremony. Jacob - who would NEVER breathe a word, Henry who's just happy to see them happy, Ned would probably be there and while Abberline would be SHOOK (I don't care if that word died out like 8 years ago lol it's funny) he would be pleased to know that they've found happiness together.

Tell me why I'm so damn sure that Jacob marries them (he would do that for his sister jokes, loving eye rolls from his big sister and all). They would either get married on the train not too far from the Red Lion where they would go afterward to celebrate, or in Henry's shop (his wedding gift would be lots of various flowers ranging from "everlasting love" to "trust and loyalty").

OR I do have a head cannon that they don't have any witnesses at all. They go up to rooftop facing the Thames and wait for sunrise together with their rings and a basket of goodies they both enjoy. When the sun begins to rise, they make their vows to each other tearfully and very sincerely, pledging the rest of their lives to each other and promising to always be together and love one another. They do this so that they can start the new day together as wives and say what they truly want to one another without an audience. It'll even become tradition years later that they both stay up until sunrise to celebrate their anniversary as the years go on, just the two of them

After:

They do their own wedding presents, and the new Mrs. Frye can't help but giggle at Evie's reaction when she gives her the special edition of her favorite book. I think we can all imagine how ecstatic the loveable bookworm that is Dame Evie Frye would be.

When Evie reads the vows, her new wife has written for her she boo hoos too lol. She can't believe that she's lucky enough to have married such a sweet and wonderful woman. Especially when she thought she would never marry and dedicate her entire life to the Creed.

Something fun the two women embark on together is setting up their home together. Not having been able to have had an open wedding they didn't have wedding showers or receive the traditional wedding gifts; they pick out each piece of their new home together! With how in sync, they are together there is hardly anything they disagree on (unless its Evie's wife trying to get her to stop working herself almost to death...by smooching her to the point where Evie looks like a laughing tomato haha) and their home comes together wonderfully. Everything in their home cozy and a reminder of their love.

It takes Evie a little bit before she finally lets go of the fear that getting married to her love, was nothing more than a wonderful dream. But each morning when she wakes up and either sees her wife next to her sleeping safe and sound, or she wakes to beautiful flowers followed by Mrs. Frye trailing in quietly with a cup of morning tea for her still sleepy wife. Her wife can rest assured that Dame Evie Frye will love her for the rest of their lives.

Altair Ibn La' Ahad

Before: He never thought he would marry or fall in love the way he's fallen in love with her. He's a naturally a confident man, so there's no doubt in his mind that he wants to be her husband and spend the rest of his life with her. There's no doubt...but there is worry. He worries about being a good husband to her in terms of giving her a safe stable home due to being an assassin and he knows that he can be...emotionally stunted, but he plans to correct that and never leave her wondering if he loves her. Because he does with his whole being. After all, if she can help pull him out of his younger arrogant ways, by gently and patiently telling him why he's wrong without criticizing him, then she can do anything.

During: His worries are vanquished when he sees her. He immediately knows that come what may, they'll be alright so long as they're together. He can't stop looking at her during the wedding, making her blush as he smiles at her (surprising the hell out of Malik lol bc the 'tHe nOvICe cAn SmILe?') As they take their vows a few cheeky looks are given here and there the pair obviously checking each other out, (insert Malik gagging like a goof). Altair can't get over how she looks like an otherworldly being with her beauty unmatched by anyone or anything. She can't get over how handsome and gallant he looks in his robes, with his hood down (GASP), his sword at his side as his thumbs rub the backs of her hands. (But with the hood thing he's never had anything to hide, he just wants to show his face and let everyone know that he's marrying her and that he's proud to be her husband. He's a very proud husband haha). When they seal their new union with a kiss, he bends down to pick her up and hold her tightly making her laugh. They both can't stop smiling, completely and utterly happy and excited to start the rest of their life together.

After: He would bring her jasmine and a few Damasks roses - they're nowhere near as beautiful as he thinks she is but the sweetness of each flower reminds him of her - in a neatly gathered bushel and loves the smile it brings to her face. He doesn't care about having a wedding night, he just wants to be with his wife and love on her in whatever manner she wishes. Sitting there and watching the stars over Masyaf or Jerusalem (depending on when/where they get married) If she wants to lay there with him and relax, he's happy to hold her and do just that. But if she wants him to take her...her mind will be blown at just how loving her new husband can be...

Ratonhnhake:ton/Connor Kenway

Before: He's worried about being a good husband. Very worried. He wants to be a wonderful husband to her, as wonderful as she is to him. He loves her with everything he has of course and would defend her with his life. But he was so focused on his mission to take the Templar order down, to get justice for his mother, so focused on his rage...that despite how much he loves her, he wonders if he can pull himself out of the dark mindset that he was in for so long to treat her the way she deserves. He will try but he still worries. He doesn't want to be angry (never at her keep in mind - about life in general) his entire life. Her kisses and presence helps though, more than she'll ever understand. He wants to be there for her as much as she's been there for him, through thick and thin, no matter what.

During: Feel like there would be two weddings for the couple. A colonial one (planned by the Homestead for the happy couple) and a traditional Mohawk wedding (planned by the Clan mother who is so excited to see him getting married), a wedding to honor both his and her culture. He stands like a statue clasping his hands in front of him patiently, eager, and nervously until he sees her. Cheesy as it is... the sight of her brings him peace. He can't even wait for her to make it to the altar, making his way to her down the aisle in a few long strides to meet her with a smile. They walk down the aisle together arm in arm and hands intertwined, unable to contain their excitement.

After: He can't stop staring at his wedding ring and smiling at it. Typically, the Mohawk people did not exchange wedding rings until modern times, but he loves his and what it represents. The eternal love and union he and his wife will share. His face hurts from smiling so much, but he doesn't mind it a bit. Now as for the wedding night... I think he would be very shy at first. Terrified of hurting her because he's very aware of the fact that he's massive and intimidates a lot of people. He would never do that to her. Being with her is honestly really enough for him, the emotional intimacy the two share is what made him so sure about making her his wife. The newlyweds would work their way up into sex slowly, getting a little closer each time and accompanied by lots of reassurance and soft laughter. And when they finally got it, the assassin and his wife had never felt more complete in their lives. He makes love in plenty of other ways though - mostly through his thoughtfulness and observation which leads to anticipation. He always knows what she needs before she even asks and he's always happy to help.

Their mornings start off with him usually waking first and realizing that marrying her wasn't a dream. He'll watch her sleeping peacefully in his arms, and then inspect their fingers where their wedding bands lie and realize that it's real. They got married. He's married to this wonderful woman. She's, his wife. Before he can begin to spiral in excitement he leans down and scoops her closer to him, burying his face in her neck which makes her laugh softly.

Venturing outside together to enjoy nature and do various outdoor activities, playful banter and pairing up to hunt together and scavenge. He'll look over and see her helping him with a fresh kill or scavenging other items and become overwhelmed with the desire to kiss her out of nowhere. Needless to say, lots of love and laughter fills the lives of Ratonhnhake:ton and his wife.

Henry Green/Jayadeep Mir

Before: He's happy and so ready to be her husband. He's admitted to himself that he's liked her from their first meeting, but he's loved her almost as long (which is not long at all because he fell for her quick). I don't know why but I can imagine that Jacob might try to do the whole "you know how the wedding night works right?" talk with him much to Henry's horror haha. He gently assures the younger Frye that he does in fact know what to do on his wedding night with his wife, if she'll have him. Don't worry though! The man is from India the birthplace of Kama Sutra...he knows what to do. Trust him.

During: Whether she wears the usual white dress or chooses to honor his culture by wearing traditional Indian bridal clothes, this man will be emotional. Guaranteed his eyes will begin to water when he sees how beautiful the woman he loves is, walking down the aisle to him. When they take each other's hands, he can't help the goosebumps of excitement he gets thinking about how lucky he feels to be marrying such a woman. He'll never understand how he got her to agree to marry him (despite being charming have a head cannon that his charm goes out the window when it comes to proposing to her lol he was so nervous that she would say no!) but he'll never forsake her or take her for granted. Perish the thought!

After: Get ready for a very fun honeymoon! Traveling together and studying each place you go, learning fun facts and the history behind the cultures. I think he would be so excited to show her around where he grew up and tell her stories (the happier ones) from his childhood. I also think that Mr. Green would be eager to prove that his intelligence is more than just the book variety...

Shay Patrick Cormac

Before: He's excited. But also, nervous. So nervous. He's aware that the type of life he leads isn't the safest or the most routine/regular thing a man can do. But you can bet that he'll be damned if he doesn't give his all to be a good husband to her. A worry that runs through his mind is dying at sea on the Morrigan and leaving her widowed and alone. He noticeably goes on less voyages after they marry only going when it's necessary. Depending on when they get married, he may still be traveling around on Templar/Shay way business - but either way whether he's close to retirement or still working, he wants to settle down with her. He plans to create a nice home for her, take care of her, love her, and have a handful of beautiful babies that he'll love almost as much as he loves her.

During: The moment he lifts her veil from her face he can't take his eyes off of her. Literally. The only time he does is to briefly and gently slide the ring onto her finger, otherwise he's smiling and staring at her like a lovesick puppy lol. He's so busy admiring his bride that Haytham with a smirk on his face gently clears his throat reminding Shay that the time to seal his new union has come. When the Irish captain realizes what the Grandmaster is saying the man blushes in slight embarrassment, and you bet he turns right around and kisses his new wife. The pair laughs as those invited applaud in celebration, but they're in their own world together.

After: After the wedding he'll take her to his home (read: their home that he hopes she loves) in New York so they can be alone together, in more ways than one. Their home will definitely know what love is when they're there together. He's a go go go kind of man as we've all seen but he's slow and gentle with her and if she finds herself too tired to celebrate in a more intimate way, she better get ready for the best cuddle session of her life. However, if she does find herself in need of her husband...let's just say that he's Captain of more than the Morrigan... Tell me why the idea of him untying his wife's corset is very erotic... Once they start married life together this man is taking her on the Morrigan (if she wants to go that is if not, he has plenty of other fun things in mind...) and sailing her to wherever she wants to go. I imagine she would choose Ireland to learn about where her husband's family came from, and Shay would love showing her around his place of origin.

Haytham Kenway

Before: He's composed in public ever the austere Grandmaster.... but a mess in private. He can't stop fidgeting with his cravat, pulling at his sleeves, straightening his coat. He looks absolutely handsome, but he knows that he won't hold a candle to his angel of a wife - who he DEFINITELY peeked at lol. You telling me this man didn't try to go to talk to her before the wedding because he missed her, and he doesn't stop short by the crack in the door, dumbfounded by how beautiful she looks? His face will be redder than his vest. With how in love with her he is, he feels less the confident Templar, and more so a little boy in very deep love. He's so happy that he gets to marry his love and spend his life with her, just the sight of her alone helps him to calm down and realize: he's marrying the love of his life.

During:

When he sees her coming down the aisle to him, he forgets how to breathe for a moment. The majority of the ceremony is spent exchanging loving gazes, gentle hand squeezes and him trying not to pass out. She notices how flustered he seems and reaches up to gently cup his face for no one's benefit but his. Needless to say, it helps to calm him significantly.

He can't believe how beautiful she is and how he got her to agree to marry him. Haytham doesn't say it in his vows, but he'll give her the world and more and always take care of her. With this man I have a feeling that actions speak louder than words (I mean did you see how he got rizzed by Ziio LOL everyone thought HE would woo HER, but she BAMBOOZLED him). He may not speak what he's feeling, and she may have to play fill in the blanks sometimes when he becomes overwhelmed by his emotions (cue him being very grateful for her patience), but with her complete agreement he's more than happy to show her in a deep kiss or something a bit more husbandly...

When they're pronounced husband and wife he steps forward while the officiant is still speaking and kisses her with abandon. The Grandmaster is thrown out the window for the moment and the lovestruck man comes out much to his new wife's delight. He embraces her tightly never wanting to let her go and his arms sweep her up in quick spin that makes her squeak in laughter as his own grin spreads across his face.

He would spoil.her.rotten come the wedding and wedding presents.

After:

The celebration would be a grand one and last long into the night. Shay swears upon the Morrigan that he'll knock Hickey's lights out if he gets pissed and starts to cause a ruckus LOOOLL. Haytham is a good dancer, but he doesn't like to make a spectacle of himself, for his new bride however he'll get out there and dance with her feeling absolute contentment in knowing that of all the men in the room that could have her in their arms he has her instead. He enjoys watching her have fun, and every time she finds him in the room and smiles at him while she's dancing, the man swears to the gods that his heart starts to race. You can definitely bet that his face stays a decent shade of red for the majority of the ceremony and party.

The party doesn't end when she comes to him and asks if he's ready to retire for the night, taking his hand when he agrees and pulling him toward the stairs. This man's face is ON FIRE as they go up the stairs together because everyone knows what they're going up there to do and that damn Irish Captain won't stop smirking at him -

He'll help her undress not solely for the purpose of making love to her, but because he wants to help her get comfortable (her beautiful form in front of him in nothing but a chemise is definitely motivation too...). Making her comfortable is his number one priority whether they make love that night or not. Making sure the curtains are drawn so the sunlight won't bother her in the morning, the fire is lit to keep her warm (I head cannon them getting married in winter for some reason... I mean they can keep each other warm during the colder months), making sure she has water on her bedside chamber.

They lay together after the long night holding each other comfortably softly speaking about how wonderful everything was. They may discuss the Order if she's curious about it and she'll make goo goo eyes at him as he speaks so passionately about it, with him blushing as she looks at him so lovingly. They may discuss books they've been reading together (tell me Haytham wouldn't have a private little book club for just him and his wife I DARE YOU). Things between them may become charged when they hold each other's gaze for too long... and then he'll really make her Mrs. Kenway...

NOTE: I KNOW I DIDN'T DO SEVERAL CHARACTERS IN THIS POST I'M SORRY OKAY. Seriously though some characters came easier than others - but there will in fact be a part 2.

[teecupangel]

Proposal: instead of Desmond sets up a bakery, he sets up a new bar. But specifically manages to pull off such weird drinks from the future that everyone is fully 100% convinced that he’s really a witch.

Baker Desmond AU in Third Crusades Levant, Renaissance Italy and Colonial America

“This is witchcraft! Sorcery! The work of the devil!”

Desmond wondered if he should just book it.

Sure, it had taken time to create this bar. So many long hours finding the cheapest most okay building in a busy street. So many times talking to people to get them to open up to him and finally give his drinks a shot.

Well… more than a shot.

He knew cocktails would prove to be his selling point.

He even made mocktails for those who do not partake but he made sure they were more expensive than the usual because… well… profit.

Could Desmond be doing something else in his new lease of life?

Absolutely.

Was he going to?

No.

This was Altaïr’s territory… sorta.

Desmond had complete faith that Altaïr do as history demanded.

So Desmond could retire.

But, in all honesty…

He wished Altaïr could just assassinate Garnier de Naplouse already so he wouldn’t have to deal with this crap.

He should have just opened his bar away from Levant.

Maybe he should?

“Desmond, if you can just prove to the Grand Master’s representative that you don’t make concoction of the devil-”

The knight was one of his regulars. He was just trying to help (and keep his favorite bar alive).

But Naplouse’s representative.

He could see the greed in the man’s eyes as he continued to hurl garbage at him.

Desmond was pretty sure Naplouse didn’t even order this.

Desmond made sure he was kept busy with not being able to have enough ‘patients’ after all.

(Just because he’s not actively assassinating Altaïr’s targets doesn’t mean he would just a turn a blind eye to the atrocities he knew was happening)

No.

This man wanted to learn his secrets.

He wanted to encroach on Desmond’s hard-earned monopoly.

Desmond’s lips curved into the smile he had perfected after years of having to deal with the lowest trashes as a bartender.

“I understand.”

The greed in that man’s eyes shone brighter.

… as Desmond’s smile grew colder.

“I will pack up and leave then.”

“WHAT?!”

The exclamation of surprise came not only from the man harassing him and the knight who was trying to help him but from the three other guards who were just standing behind them.

An intimidation tactics if Desmond ever saw one.

He was sure they would trash his place if they were ordered to.

Reluctantly, of course.

But trashing one’s place was better than being called insubordinate and punished for it.

If things go to shit, Desmond could just kick all their asses and book it.

Desmond clasped his hands together as he said lightly, “Actually, someone came before and offered me a job in Ḥalab. I refused, of course.”

Which was true.

“But considering how-” Desmond stressed the word, “… unappreciated I am here.”

Desmond continued to smile as he said, “I believe it’s time for me to leave this place. Ḥalab is filled with many merchants with different ingredients I can use for my…”

Desmond glared at the greedy man as he continued to politely smile, “… concoctions.”

“Tha-that’s-” The man spluttered before shouting, “That is an admission of guilt! By not showing how you make them, you are admitting to being a devil worshiper.”

Desmond could see that none of his guards were buying that crap.

But they were powerless as well.

Desmond’s smile fell as he said, “If you’re not going to let me leave in peace, then I’ll just have to take you all down and keep you silent until I have to leave.”

“I promise not to give any of you lasting damage except you…” Desmond stared at the greedy man who flinched, “I’ll hurt you in a way that will make you remember your stupidity every single day.”

Desmond stepped towards him, making the knights take a step towards the man to protect him, the nearest one whispering, “Desmond, wai-”

“I won’t kill you.” Desmond smiled once more, making everybody freeze as a cold shudder went up their spine, “But you will waste the rest of your life wishing I had.”

.

.

That afternoon, Desmond the bartender left Acre. When the people checked his bar later that night, they saw men unconscious on the floor with one of Naplouse’s men tied to a chair, conscious but barely coherent.

Carved on his forehead was the words “1 Timothy 6:9”.

.

Desmond did not, in fact, go to Ḥalab.

But he did start his next bar in one of the cities that is part of the Silk Road.

[illustratus]

Richard the Lionheart Answers Blondel de Nesle’s Singing

by Jean Antoine Laurent

[anarchopuppy]

man we rly fuckin need gamecube style face buttons back or something. these days i cant go back and forth between multiple games bc the face button functions always feel so arbitrary and i cant keep track of which one is jump or dodge or attack in each game. no such issue on the gamecube, every game had a primary face button, a secondary face button, and two tertiary face buttons, and that forced them to actually think about which functions make sense to put where

nevermind the fact that different systems have different orientations of abxy so i cant even physically find them on the fuckin controller when im playing on multiple systems. its so frustrating and we literally already had a solution that worked fantastically

[bananashakepython]

late to kakyoin month day 27 because my Foolish ass decided to do one drawing for each prompt. and then i hurt my hand (which is fine now) which made it take longer. and then i rewatched stone ocean the second time this year and had to recover (which made it take longer). but at last! i have drawings

they're under the cut because i'm going to explain each one (loosely and incoherently) so it'll be long :^)

@kakyoinmonth day 27 - job/career/hobby

job

feel like way back in his college days rooming with jotaro he'd be a freelance artist just to keep some money coming in. not that they necessarily need it, bc i mean jotaro's family is the most loaded lineage on jojo planet earth, but i feel like kakyoin would be indignant about it and insist on making/using his own. he's not one to be coddled or anything even if jotaro wants to pay for him in a genuine way and not in a "oh you poor thing >.<" way. ESPECIALLY with important expenses

2. career

honestly so hard to make a decision here because wtf. wtf would he pursue. he likes so many things and is interested in so many things. but i thought about it as hard as i could for as long as i could and decided: he would basically have whatever job jotaro has in the speedwagon foundation. an extremely important investigator, a stand-user they can call on in times of need. because i mean sure, he could take a normal job, but would people in that job truly get him the way the crusaders/other stand users get him? in the way the speedwagon foundation gets him? because the foundation KNOWS about stands and stuff. they'd understand as much as they are able and accommodate him and i feel he'd appreciate that

HOWEVER! i think he would be like jotaro again in the sense that he's like, an art professor or a video game designer, and then a stand-using foundation member in secret. like how jotaro is serious as a marine biologist but also serious as a foundation member, and poses as only one of the two to keep himself and his loved ones safe. they'd look like normal (""normal"") people on the outside and in reality they are both detectives with punching ghosts AND are professors at the same time

couldn't decide on either art professor or video game designer. or some other unknown job that would probably also suit him that i can't think of. so it's just ambiguous or he manages to be both

3. hobby

okay. as you can see my art style went through a bit of a change (no idea if it's permanent or not, it has a mind of its own). and also there's two versions because i couldn't decide which one is funnier.

i need not explain his hobby you already know he's slamming his keyboards into pieces over his knee and screaming into his xbox mic and spam reporting people for cheating 800 consecutive times and typing on a rainbow keyboard with cat ear headphones

[catcas22]

So you know how in Elden Ring, gathering an insane bounty of runes (aka killing lots and lots of things) seems to make you bigger?

You know, like rune bears. Red wolves and giant Miranda blossoms (rune wolves and rune flowers according to the code). Elite warriors such as the Black Knives, Cleanrot Knights, Tree Sentinels, etc? Hoarah Loux? Possibly Radahn?

Before age mellowed him out, Turtle Pope was a fearsome warrior known as... Turtle Paladin.

[cheer-soli-art]

My personal take on the lamb <3

Support me on ko-fi

[calliopechild]

For the third-party voters arguing that they're pulling for a better candidate with a genuine chance of winning and not splitting the vote--okay. Let's suspend reality pretend that's true. In that case, please answer the following for me:

Why haven't I heard of your third-party candidate before now if they have such a good platform and they're clearly the better alternative? How good of a candidate can they be if they have no public support outside of your very vehement niche on tumblr and apparently no real skill at/infrastructure for getting their message out?

"Well, because they're a small campaign! They're not corporate shills! They aren't taking Dark Money!" Mkay, so are they taking in any money? If they don't have the finances to support their message, let alone their campaign, that doesn't exactly point to the kind of interest that substantiates your claim that they have A Real Chance, Guys, I Swear of winning the election.

For that matter, Insistent That You're Not Splitting The Vote blog, why is it that there is absolutely nothing on said blog about your candidate prior to this spring? Yeah, that's the time frame of most states' primaries, but like...you'd think that since [candidate] is your ideal political blorbo, you would have been boosting their message before then--you know, to support them and get people to vote for them in the primaries. Kinda weird that you weren't enthusiastic about them any earlier than 5 months before the election. Kinda convenient that you're insistent that this, Year Of The Most Fraught And Partisan Election Part 3: Fascism Boogaloo, is the year a third-party candidate totally has a chance.

On the heels of that, what have you been doing to work toward a future where a third-party candidate actually has a real chance? Because there's a whole lot of nothing on your blog about anything helpfully actionable, like how people can work to get ranked-choice voting on their state's ballot. Instead, your blog is mostly just how important it is to "show the Dems people are tired of choosing between two bad candidates by taking your ball and going home instead."

Does your candidate have any political support on the local, regional, or federal level from either party or independents? Because executive orders aside, they aren't getting shit done in their presidency if they don't have any political allies or a party allegiance to draw on.

For that matter, what has your candidate accomplished politically thus far? What can they point to as proof that they could be a successful president?

And the real question it all boils down to: do you really, full honesty, no bullshit believe your candidate can beat Trump?

"Well, if people just--" Nope. No "well, if these 18 extremely fortuitous and equally unlikely things happen" wish-fulfillment scenarios. As things stand right now, in the real world, can your candidate get the necessary votes? Do they have the kind of appeal that can get even lifelong Republicans to endorse them and the track record to back up their campaign promises? Do 270 Electoral College votes' worth of Americans know them and support their policies?

Because unless you're lying to yourself, I'm willing to bet the answer is no. And yeah, this applies to all of the third-party candidates. Look at this piece from Politico: https://www.politico.com/interactives/2024/where-are-third-party-candidates-ballots/ You'll notice that not one of them has managed to get on the ballot for every single state. Please make the extremely obvious conclusions about their chances.

('But calliope, there's another third-party candidate that isn't on there.' Yes, I'm aware. Politico is no doubt aware too. For some wacky reason they decided not to include the Unicorn Party on their list, idk.)

"I'm still not going to support a genocide--" Even if you don't "support a genocide" by voting, I'm sorry to inform you that you are green-lighting a genocide by not acting to prevent a second Trump presidency. Because the reality is that either Kamala or Trump will be winning the election, regardless of what you'd like to believe. If Kamala doesn't win, we get Trump--the guy who wants Netanyahu to "turn Gaza into a parking lot" and wants internment camps in the U.S. for immigrants. You don't want to support a genocide, so instead you're splitting the vote or talking people out of voting so that we end up with both a genocide abroad and one right here at home. Because if you don't think Trump will take the Supreme Court-ordained right to commit any crime he'd like and, backed by the Heritage Foundation, go after immigrants and the LGBT+ community--like he's explicitly said he'll do all throughout the Project 2025 manifesto--then you haven't been paying attention to anything in the last 8 years.

We can't afford a close election like 2020. The right has been tossing around the phrase "civil war" for the last couple years and is just waiting for an excuse. Unless they lose by an undeniable margin, it'll be "stop the steal" and fascist gun nuts storming state buildings and harassing governors and secretaries of state at their homes all over again. And to make sure that we have the margin we need to make it clear Trump has lost, splitting the vote cannot happen.

It's awesome that you're invested in the idea of eliminating the two-party system, because yeah, it's fucked. No arguments here. The two-party system, the Electoral College, the lack of automatic voter registration, the lack of ranked-choice voting...a lot of things are fucked about the U.S. electoral system. But we will be able to change approximately none of them under a Trump presidency, and no one has any chance of beating him in November other than Kamala Harris.

And full offense, but if you're still trying to insist otherwise, I'm genuinely unable to assume you are anything other than stubbornly naive at best and a bad faith actor/psyop at worst.

[aniaticdk]

They all have one thing in common, this is white light, and the fact that I love them, each has its own reason, but it doesn’t stop me from loving them

[angevinyaoiz]

Third Crusade Richard the Lionheart shooting crossbow bolts from the sickbed Siege of Acre (mpreg edition)

Continuation of this doodle i guess

[mailperson]

One of the final stages of DD2 realizations is that about a third of the hero roster is a “you’re going to win and have a good time doing it as long as you play decently smartly” type deal and the remaining two-thirds vary from situationally powerful to objectively inferior choices no matter what