#my other projects include some very unhealthy romantic relationships

[guiltycorp]

Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.

[hacash]

ok new game - if your current writing project (original or fic or whatever) was published tomorrow, what about it would make booktok denounce you as problematic? rb with answers in the tags

[starii-void]

there were other ways calypso and leo’s relationship couldve been written, in this essay i will

this isnt a hot take at all but caleo just has. so many problems. im not gonna list em but anyone who’s read hoo and toa knows

so how could it have been written better? here are my (a non writer who has shit articulation) opinions, please be nice

1. They date, then break up

this feels like a likely thing to happen bcs as we know, leo is notoriously flirty and seeking relationships and calypso falls in love REAL easily. so ofc, being stuck on an island together with no other company for like weeks on end would lead to a relationship of some kind. though i think that relationship would most likely be. unhealthy.

so yeah, theyd get together, but itd probably start showing problems very quickly as we see in TOA. but from there, i think they shouldve broken up. maybe it could be caused by an outside intervention from someone who. maybe has better experience with healthy relationships. jiper being an example, since they broke up after piper realized their relationship was basically started with lies.

once they broke up, leo could learn that romance isnt a cure all (cough rick cough) and that he doesnt need a partner to ‘fit in’. the whole seventh wheel thing was a big part of his characterization so i think unlearning that whole mess would be a good thing for him, esp since TOA had a lot of ‘growing and developing and changing’ as a theme. he could learn to define and support himself outside of his relationship with women (mommy issuesss)

calypso could also learn to support herself and have relationships with people that arent unrequited crushes, what with how her only human interaction was with random men who couldnt stay.

2. They stay as friends

Basically same character benefits as the last one, just different methods.

Leo realizes he doesnt like calypso in that way on the island during that time itself, maybe due to self reflection or something. maybe they have an intervention/impromptu therapy session or something and figure themselves out. not like they have much else to do on the island

this way, we get to see him figure out (is that the right word?) that being friends w/ women isnt automatically a gateway to romance. that its not so simple. that he can have close friends without having to date anyone (+ possible aro rep here but thats just me projecting) then from there, he can develop this further and come to terms that he doesnt need a romantic relationship to be loved etc etc

3. They stay together, but it’s established as. not good

now for this one i think its less likely since this entire thing is still sorta a kids book series and authors dont usually include these types of topics without it being resolved, but it is something to think about

caleo’s relationship in TOA felt pretty icky at least to me, so i imagine it isnt setting the best example for kids if its portrayed as normal/a good thing

in this method, their relationship could stay but just be more established as not normal and unhealthy bcs. it kinda is

anyways thats my ted talk. please dont kill me im bad at articulating

[funnier-as-a-system]

Hiii. Not sure if this even counts as a question to be fair, nor is this a funny suggestion, but like.

For my final project in college I'm kind of making a game concept about plurality (as a system host myself) and uhm long story short I guess.

I made two characters-alters, one of which is female and the other is male, and the teacher who curates my project was like (super paraphrased) "I'm getting some romantic connotations here and I think we shouldn't show people that you can literally date yourself, cuz that seems super unhealthy" and he then backed down a bit and was like "well it's not really normal so maybe think about that some more".

And so like. The concept I'm making is based on the complicated relationship between me and my co-host. I am heavily basing the characters on me and that co-host, I am heavily using the issues we had in our relationship, to hopefully be able to show people who are new to plurality that you shouldn't treat your alters the way me and my co-host treated each other before, because THAT is what was unhealthy.

All of which is to say, right now I am married to that co-host and I'm very happy about that, but my teacher's words quite hurt me. Like I literally don't even understand what could be so unhealthy about in-system dating. How rare even is that? Is my perception of in-system dating just that skewed, since nearly all our alters are in a relationship with each other? Most importantly, am I faki-

(Also, by saying that, the teacher inadvertently recommended me to make it a gay ship. Lol? I wish I could make one of the characters an enby like me and avoid the issue entirely, but I can't) (My husband The Co-Host said that the teacher is just rude)

There's nothing inherently unhealthy about intrasystem dating. I've found most people who claim it's "unhealthy" actually mean "I find it weird and I can't distinguish between my personal discomfort and something that's actually bad." – a frustrating argument, but one we're familiar with, and one that should largely be ignored unless you're looking to engage in an educational discussion with someone who holds this view. Others claim it is unhealthy because it "encourages division/dissociation between headmates", but this is largely based on the idea that headmates having any sort of personal identity or self-identification gets in the way of achieving final fusion, which has its own flaws as an argument, including final fusion not being the goal or healthiest option for all systems, as well as ignoring that [harmful] dissociation may increase if a headmate does not have any sort of personal identity to distinguish themselves from the rest of their system with. In short, the arguments against intrasystem dating tend to boil down to "I think this is bad for you because it doesn't fit into what I think people should do", which only shows one's own close-mindedness.

Since plurality is an unfamiliar concept to most people, they don't have the experience necessary to distinguish between genuine red flags and something niche that just takes time to get used to the idea of. Intrasystem dating is niche, but it's no more inherently unhealthy than other kinds of niche dating, like t4t partnerships. The same argument has been used against polyamorous relationships for being similarly uncommon and going against what people expect of relationships (particularly romantic ones), but those are not inherently unhealthy either; it goes to show that people will reuse the same arguments against any kind of relationship they do not approve of, rather than taking a step back and considering for themselves if a particular relationship dynamic is inherently unhealthy. While intrasystem dating can be unhealthy, it is not inherently so just due to the relationship dynamic.

When backing down, your teacher said intrasystem dating is "not really normal", and that truly is the crux of this argument. People do not like that which does not fall neatly into their understandings of "normal", and think anything that isn't normal is automatically bad. This is untrue. I would say to hold strong to your original vision for your project, not just for yourself/ves, but because refusing to fall in line and pretend to be "normal" is how we achieve progress. Even if your teacher doesn't change his mind, your work may introduce the concept to someone else, making it less unfamiliar (more familiar) and more normal to them, leading to more people understanding and accepting not just systems in general, but intrasystem dating specifically.

Speaking of, to answer your question, while intrasystem dating is uncommon, I don't believe it's especially rare – I could name several of our headmates right now who are in a polyamorous partnership with each other, as well as a handful of other couples. We've known many other systems who have had some or all headmates dating each other. It's not the most common topic to talk about in the community, but it is certainly a topic frequent enough to be brought up from time to time.

Your teacher was rude and incorrect. I have sympathy for the hurt you feel because of his pluralphobic words, and I hope you're able to feel better about this incident soon. Remember, staying true to yourself will almost always feel better than hiding who you are for the comfort of others, so if you feel safe enough to go for it, push onward and continue your work with all its authenticity and intrasystem dating included. I wish you luck in your game development and your final project!

[bee-ina-boat]

HI FRIENDS!!!! so i got into cult of the lamb around january and in that time i have worked on a bunch of art and only JUST finished this MONSTER of a project. its taken alot of time because of how slow i am, plus life stuff and other art projects aswell- but MAN IM JUST EXCITED TO FINALLY POST THIS LOL!!! :D!!!!!

so this is my concept art for my lamb characters! i have like 6 different aus already and a few of em has their own version of the lamb and i love them sm- heres some background info on em if ur curious!

Lambert - the Sacred Lamb - genderqueer, they/them - demiro/demisexual - Valais blacknose sheep - weapon of choice: sword based off of my interpretation of the canon lamb and their story! silly, merciful, kind to their flock, but also a tad fucked up. silly lil guy!! silly lil goober! i love them! :D!!! they also have the "vessel and god to enemies to friends to lovers" pipeline with narinder, and lemme tell you when i finally get to drawing art for them its OVER for yall

Sherpa - The Zealot - agender, they/them - demiro/ace - Scottish blackface sheep - weapon of choice: dagger the idea of them was: "what if the lamb had a very unhealthy obsession with religion and their god and was so incredibly fucked up about it" and thats how sherp was born baybeyyyyyyy their story includes alot of dark religious themes and it gets really sad and messed up. their relationship with narinder is reallllll toxic. at first at least. kinda. idk their au has 2 endings and in one it gets better and in the other it gets. alooot worse lol. we love that for them <3

Laramie - The Black Sheep - pengender, they/he/she - pansexual/panromantic/polyamorous - Shetland sheep - weapon of choice: axe so basically. they were inspired by the term black sheep. theyre a lil failure who cant do anything right, has horrible self esteem, and cannot handle being the "prophetic lamb" at all. they die all the time, and many followers ended up losing faith in her early on, its a mess lmao him and narinder dont actually have anything romantic going on, their relationship in this au is moreso a mentor and student type thing. also laramie has a huge polycule by the time narinder is freed. and she also gets downbad for heket when she shows up dfjljhdsfsdfgb

im so excited to do art for the au's i have aaaaaaaaaa, but rn im finishing up some bishop art!!! so look forward to that!!

anyway closeups are under the cut :D!!!

[samandmaxfanatic]

Guess what suckers!

I'm writing a Wally & Reader/Wally X Reader fic! Probably coming out soon and it'll probably have more chapters. As of right now it's on 1800 words and how many chapters I decide to have on it. Ehhh- we'll just have to see.

Reader will be gender-neutral and this fic is more or less supposed to be on the platonic side but it can be read as romantic too. But for you VERY many simps I did add some intimacy ;) you're welcome.

A few warnings though. This fic will include unhealthy relationships, obsessive behaviour and possessive behavior. Wally is by no means yandere(hate that word to be honest) though, well, I guess we'll see. But it's not what I'm going for as of right now.

This fic will mostly cover Wally's mental health, their relationship, dark themes, will probably also include blood and graphic scenes of gore, as well as many other potentially scarring material. If you're sensitive against topics like these such as angst, gore or mental health in general please do not read.

Furthermore I would also like to add that this will be posted on ao3 and not on Tumblr. I will post links to any new chapters here on Tumblr though. I'll also link my ao3 account right now just in case you wanna check out what I write or if the fic is already out by then. https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamAndMaxFanatic

Again, please check it out when it's out! Thank you very much for reading this and I hope to see you soon.

And it's out!

First chapter, out! I hope you enjoy it.

[rebuzzbuzz]

I feel like people need to be a lot stricter with the distinction of what is comshipping, venting or just plain old dark content. Hear me out i have reasons for this, but they might be a bit jumbled and long so they go under the cut. Hope they make sense.

Warning: This is my opinion. No words are censored because i find self censoring stupid. If the discussion of various dark topics make you uncomfortable you should probably not keep reading, I am not responsible if you do anyway and it ends up upsetting you

Edit: i have been made aware of the fact that i got some terms wrong and fixed them ( i think ), i didn’t really do much research and went from memory from when this was still all over the place, I apologize for that but most of my points still stand

( thank you to the people two people who pointed it out, i really appreciate it)

What is my definition of a comshipping? The act of shipping someone with someone else that would be a unhealthy and/or toxic relationship in a positive light. Most prominent examples being pedophilia and incest

Apart from the fact that i personally do not consider any fictional relationship that is unhealthy and/or toxic a ship, i completely agree with the anti’s that you shouldn’t do that, and if you do it to cope with things that happened to you (wich i personally dont think is entirely healthy) do it privately wich brings me to my next point

What is my definition of a healthy ship? people in a romantic relationship that were both in the same age group when they met, not weirdly fetishized, and no other kind of wrong

Do i think that you cant explore your trauma in an very vivid and/or descriptive matter? No, i think you can and it’s possibly even healthy for you, what i do think however that it should be kept between yourself and those that you trust, because i don’t think it is save to put vivid descriptions of your mental or physical health and trauma onto the internet.

People are both cruel and a lot more brave to be horrible on the internet than in real life. And that can lead to bullying, death threats and the possible backtracking of your progress wich i personally find too big of a risk to take.

Including dark topics into into whatever creative projects you have, doesn’t immediately make it romanticized, sexualized or god forbid normal, nor does it immediately make you into a bad person.

Is there a point where it could be interpreted that way? Yes. Is that point the inclusion or mention of said topic? No. Otherwise Horror, thriller, crime and other similar media should also be in the same boat. The inclusion of a murderer doesn’t immediately advocate that you should kill your neighbors, the same way that the inclusion of a pedophile doesn’t advocate for you to go have sex with a child. As long it is explicitly clear that it doesn’t intend to portray the dark topic of choice as a good or healthy thing, you don’t have to say anything and can avoid said media. Can you point out if they maybe forgot a warning or tag? Yes. Can you tell them that they maybe represented it wrong or in a potentially harmful way? Yes but only respectfully, they might have genuinely not realized. Can you tell whoever wrote it that they should kill themselves? No absolutely not, wich brings me to my last two points

Proshipping: having the opinion to just let people be with what they ship and letting them have the freedom to create and consume whatever they like (including darker content) fair points are being made, but i feel like there has to be a line drawn somewhere if it could actually explicitly harm people ( people shipping something in a way where it can only be interpreted as encouragement of said unhealthy/toxic relationship dynamic )

Antishipping: being against ships deemed offensive of in some other way problematic same point as before, as long as the only possible interpretation isn’t bad thing=good i don’t really care, i have the decency to look after my own internet/content consumption. I agree that there has to be a line somewhere. People enjoying things in a way where i couldn’t harm anyone is not where it needs to be

I do not identify with either parts of this debate, why is that. The way a lot of the people i see handle it absolutely horribly and in ways i do not agree with and i do not want to be associated with.

Im not saying that there aren’t people that don’t make proper points or react appropriately, but the loudest part of them don’t, with the most common things i see being aggressive about it, dragging it into extremes and telling the other person to kill themselves, and i just dont want to be associated with that.

My thoughts overall in the pro vs anti discussion: frankly i find it immature. I’ll say it. It’s immature do discuss morals regarding fiction to the extremes that some do. Im not saying that some people dont make genuine good points, but most people use it as an excuse to be horrible.

If you’re only argument against something is “ it is bad so therefore you should kill yourself for even interacting with it” i dont think you have actually something explicitly against it in a way you know why, you just want to justify being a horrible person. I am aware that the sheer existence of various topics can be interpreted as encouraging from certain type of people, but those kinds of people will find anything to justify their doing, and their potential actions are not your fault. Horror movies do not encourage murder, but could be inspiration for a future murderer. The incest darkfic of some random person online doesn’t immediately encourage having sex with your family, but could be interpreted as “im not horrible for that” by actual people who do want to have sex with their family. Thats why its called an interpretation. The only things i find reasonable to do in this case are: not engaging, blocking people (it does not make you a coward you just don’t want thing you consider trash in your house), blocking tags and probably some more i cant think of right now

Conclusion:

Comships based on the earlier given definition are in my opinion bad and i do not agree with them, but i don’t think people who ship them deserve to die either.

Inclusion of dark content isn’t bad if done correctly, and you should just avoid it if you dont like it.

A lot of people have a horrible approach to things and i dont want to be associated with them.

I do not consider posting vent content a safe thing to do, but also not something you should verbally abuse people over.

The pro vs anti discussion about ships is unorganized, toxic and sometimes even just another excuse to be absolutely horrible, and i advice to just stay out of it

[taylortruther]

Not the same anon, but for me, the right course of action is to believe her and back off... focus on the other many things happening with Taylor and not obsess over her implied sadness?? Treat her with dignity and respect, which includes not projecting "mental breakdowns" on her. You guys are just super invasive. And yes, this is your blog, but some of the implications you guys make are so triggering.

Do you wonder why you are so invested in her pain, so much so that you have a hard time allowing her the freedom of moving on? Why is it that every single emotion has to be connected to her romantic life?

Ask yourself why she would make such a public statement, during a time when everyone has their eye on her ex relationship, and a new man who was at that same place she made the speech. I am not saying her happiness was connected to Matty, but why assume she is lying and not simply moving on to the next stage of accepting the changes that took place in her life. It doesn't mean she forgot Joe, nor does it mean she doesn't also get sad. BUT, to suggest she did it all to cover some deeper unhappiness to fit your narrative is just projection. It is one option. None of us can actually know for sure.

Just sick of ppl reducing Taylor to her relationships.

it's really weird to me that you claim the conversations i've had are triggering but you also said she probably also gets sad? like that's literally what we've been discussing: of course she is happy in some ways, relieved in others, sad and heartbroken in others... because she is a human and mourning a relationship is a very familiar/common experience.

and the "mental breakdown" talk is just JOKES. it's lighthearted. no one on this blog or on my mutuals' blogs are literally suggesting she's falling apart in a serious, unhealthy way.

like, hello. i ended a 2 year relationship in november. and i have moved on to a new relationship already! but that shit is still hard. i was certainly happy it was over but i also told you all i still had a crying fit about it a few days ago.

so yeah no i appreciate you explaining but it seems you've willfully misinterpreted what the discourse is. it's really hard for me to agree that i'm "invested in her pain" or that i don't want her to "move on." girl (gn) it's been like 2 months fjkdsal

[wondereads]

Weekly Reading Update (06/12/23)

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White (9/10)

This book was amazing. There are very few bad things I could say about it, and most of those are personal preference. Now, it isn't for everyone, as it's basically gothic horror to the extreme with some very sensitive topics. However, as long as you can stomach this sort of thing, I highly recommend this book. It's dark, tense, and not without some hope. My one technical gripe is how perfect Daphne seems, but that can be easily brushed past. I really liked the writing, especially with how the author played with the style and actual look of it.

The Raven King by Nora Sakavic (8/10)

There truly must be something wrong with me to willingly continue the All for the Game series. I am being so deadly serious when I say these books are horrendously written. It's based on a sport that's basically fancy lacrosse that is given the bare minimum explanation, the pacing is all over the place, and the plot is poorly connected if not outright nonsensical. And yet here I am. I think this series, thanks to strangely evocative characters and its absurdist plotlines, evokes the same feelings as fanfiction. As an actual published novel, this is a garbage fire. As something fun and quick to read, it hits every button. The absolute misery Neil goes through only to be put back together by his team and his not-boyfriend just works. I immensely enjoyed myself, but also 0/10 never read these books.

The King's Men by Nora Sakavic (7/10)

This book being the longest of the series makes sense, but I still don't think it was enough. Everything I said about The Raven King applies to this book, and I'm incredibly feral about Neil and Andrew. However, the ending is rushed to the extreme. The resolution is pretty unsatisfying, and I feel like there's still a lot of character stuff to be sorted out, particularly concerning Andrew. The ending was just way too abrupt, and I wish the epilogue had been a proper chapter with a different epilogue set in the weeks/months after the finals. Well, that's what fanfiction is for, and it will probably be better written than these books.

Lioness Rampant by Tamora Pierce (9/10)

This concludes my reread of Song of the Lioness! I'll be continuing with The Immortals Quartet soon, but for now, I really like the ending to this series. This is likely the saddest book in the series with two major deaths, and no, Liam is not included in that, good riddance. Honestly, my retching whenever he started talking is what brought this down from a 10 for me. Alanna has grown so much since the beginning of the series, coming to a place where she can accept love and femininity without letting it affect her own goals. One thing I really like is how close she, Jon, and George are despite their complicated romantic pasts with each other. The fact that their friendship takes precedence over anything else means so much to me.

Fire and Ice by Erin Hunter (CR, 53%)

I've been working very slowly through these books since I'm doing a project with them on the side, but they're pretty good. I will say that I'm not a huge fan of this one in the context of the series. Both Fireheart and Graystripe consistently make pretty bad decisions all throughout which just makes more and more problems. I will say that I love Fireheart's relationship with the apprentices, Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw. Their mentor/mentee but still playful dynamic is great, and it's admirable how Fireheart steps up for Brackenpaw in Graystripes, ahem, absence.

Exile by Shannon Messenger (CR, 1%)

I've barely started this one, but I'm excited!

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (CR, 5%)

I'm a weak, weak woman. It's been around three years since I read Folk of the Air, and I miss it so much. I have a very unhealthy attachment to Jude, which means Cardan and I have something in common. I'm just rereading a lot of stuff right now, and I feel like reading something I know I'll love will help me catch up on my reading goal (I'm eight books behind).

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[rainbowsky]

XZ's team refused to cooperate with business CP. I wonder why 👀👀👀

An important reminder that this is just a 🍉 rumor, and totally unverified. All 🍉 are just 🍉. To be taken with a huge grain of 🧂. I often see fans quoting these rumors as though they’re true, and that’s how false information gets embedded into the fandom. Please always qualify rumors as rumors.

This one seems to be a continuation of the overall theme that he's supposedly refusing romantic roles, etc. There are reasons to believe this could be true, and some reasons to be very skeptical.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

A lot of people (myself included) were expecting heavy fan service with OOL when it came out, but despite a bit during Weibo night 2020, we really didn’t see any. Instead, we got a steady diet of high fructose turtle candy from GG throughout the airing and promo for the drama.

I suspect the plan had initially been to do heavy fan service for the drama, but the shifts in the entertainment industry climate and in how fan wars are handled (artists are held fully responsible for them now, and there are consequences for failing to manage fans) led to a shift in how the project was marketed. We don’t know what all happened behind the scenes or what the teams involved discussed and decided, but it seems to me inevitable that things would change given all the changes in the industry climate. There could also have been other reasons (or I could just be wrong).

BXG often talk about GG’s rumored refusal to take on romantic roles and his rumored refusal to do CP marketing for upcoming projects as though it has something to do with DD, and I think that’s highly unlikely to be true. I talked recently about why BXG’s investment in the GGDD jealousy trope is unhealthy, offensive and even dangerous. It’s just not something BXG should be pushing/claiming about GGDD (not saying that’s what you are doing, here, Anon, but you left it vague and I know a lot of fans are into that stuff so it bears repeating).

In my previous post about the romantic role rumor I talked about some of the reasons why GG might refuse romantic roles, and those reasons all apply to why he might also refuse CP fan service. None of them have anything to do with DD. I’ll just restate those reasons here:

GG is a serious actor who wants interesting projects of substance and depth, and to shed his ‘idol’, ‘traffic star’ image. Part of shedding that image needs to involve engaging in projects in ways that don't encourage that kind of image/fan reaction.

GG is constantly having to deal with fan wars and controversies, and it's no doubt a huge headache for him and his team. Nothing - NOTHING - generates more of that BS than CP/romance stuff.

GG likely doesn't want to deal with straight relationship rumors, and CP marketing tends to lead to shipping and relationship rumors. Such rumors are a threat to his career. Celebrities in that region are marketed on a fantasy of romantic availability, and if they are thought to be in a serious relationship that can kill a career. It's why even straight celebrities hide their relationships.

I think that this all goes doubly, triply with CP marketing, moreso than romantic roles. Someone who deals with the kind of BS GG is constantly having to deal with - all the fan wars and rumors and controversy and being dismissed as a traffic star - all that stuff is a bane on his career. If he doesn’t take on CP marketing, let me guarantee you those are infinitely more important reasons than anything BXG clownery can cook up.

Now, I think it’s likely that GG also has personal reasons for being uncomfortable with straight fan service, but we can’t pretend they’re his primary motivation. I don’t think they would be, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Also, just a bit of a reality check/reminder for BXG - GG didn’t really do CP marketing for The Untamed, either. Of course, I think that he had strong personal reasons to be uncomfortable with marketing involving his real relationship, but I still think it’s something worth remembering in this context. It’s not like this - if true - would be a shift in policy for him.

There are also reasons to be skeptical of these rumors. After all, they’re 🍉 rumors, and 🍉exist solely to gossip. A lot of the stuff they post is entirely made up, with the aim of getting clicks and clout, or even to intentionally stoke up fan wars or harm celebrities reputations. Nothing generates more interest and traffic than controversy, and few things are more controversial than CP/romance rumors (and rumors about GG in general).

So like I said, take it all with a grain of 🧂. In fact, I strongly believe that people who take 🍉 seriously should not be reading them at all.

Of course, that’s just my 2 cents on the topic. Others might disagree, but this is how I see it.

[whetstonefires]

The sad Jason art you reblogged, the original artist is a rampant JayTim shipper fyi 🤢

Okay, listen. I cannot figure out why you would send this. What purpose is this supposed to serve? Who are you helping? What is the desired result?

Like, sure I don’t enjoy that ship and I really wish it were less prominent, because it makes so many potentially interesting fics unreadable for me, but it’s far and away the most innocuous of the intra-family ships.

(Followed by either of them with Cass ig since Steph doesn’t strictly count. Or Duke, but like DC deeply failed to integrate him into the family network. Actually is anyone writing Duke/Tim, there’s space to do some fun work there with the idealization-of-and-identification-with-Robin-as-wearable-identity.)

It’s not like anyone is being depicted Committing Sex Crime here, or like there’s an existing familial dynamic to be getting corrupted. Or even a firmly ingrained power dynamic. They’re about three years apart in age and didn’t even meet until their late teens? I don’t like the adopted sibling incest angle even in that context, but I can’t pretend that part is actually inherently hurting either of them, except by complicating things with their support systems and intensifying the baggage.

The reason I find the ship so intolerable is they have so much baggage between them, adopted family very much included, even before you start on shit they’ve actually done to each other, that to jump straight into the premise you have to go either wildly AU or wildly ooc (very frequently both) to sell them having a remotely sane or healthy romance, let alone at all a normal one.

The AU version tends to make them hopelessly boring by flattening every existing element of complexity to avoid Problems and the ooc option both boring and vaguely revolting to my personal sensibilities, because I have issues about people’s characters being warped around the demands of romantic relationships, and especially about the result being treated as positive. Those things on top of the sibling thing is a definite hard no.

...I feel like the only way to get me actually interested in a JayTim premise would actually be to lean in to all that shared baggage and dysfunction, and depict the relationship as a downhill tumble of mutual projection and trying to process their own Robin-related-identity-smear issues and overlapping parent issues using one another, ‘self-recognition through the other (derogatory)’ angry makeouts, and all that unhealthy stuff, made even more fucked up by their canonical existing tangled respect for and resentment of one another.

All that, if well executed, could be really intriguing! And could even potentially sell me on the ‘ship as ultimately positive in the end, because the narrative would at that point have put in the work to make the relationship a vehicle for character development.

As far as I know, though, that is not what the shipping community for these two is looking for at all, ever. And I'm not going to subject myself to a million versions because one of them might be tolerable.

So, I know this is something I dislike! On every level! I avoid it! I have, in fact, ended acquaintanceships with people because they could not consistently remember to respect clearly delineated boundaries about it, because they’d internalized the ship as a baseline norm of batfam fandom. Don’t like that.

But like. What possible purpose could it serve to warn me that someone whose reposted-and-reunited art I reblogged ships this thing? What is that adding to the world? Is this supposed to be helpful to me in some way?

I’m not entering into a longterm or intimate relationship with this person whose name I don’t recall. I’m not interacting with them. I didn’t even reblog a post original to them or directly from their blog. The JayTim ship is not relevant to the art in question, which was a depiction of Jason speaking to Bruce (not pictured).

Even if the artist were a JayBruce shipper and there was some relevance, I’m not clear on what you think you would be accomplishing by informing me there might be secret bad subtext to an art I reblogged!

Like. State your goals here, don’t just end your statement with a 'mouthful of vomit' emoji, which incidentally is somewhat more triggering for some issues I’ve been working on than the JayTim ship itself, because guess what people are complicated.

Is your goal to get me to comb through my blog to remove the post? To go memorize the url so I know to avoid this person in the future? To blacklist them???

What even is rampant in this context anyway. Just. Lacking in restraint? The boundary-disrespecting issue I mentioned before? Just...doing it a lot? Do you mean it in the heraldic sense of ‘standing up on their hindquarters for dramatic effect?’

Be specific. Explain why you are inflicting this subject on me in the correct presumption it’s a subject I like to avoid. Why does that make sense?

I’m not interested in being roped into whatever weird playground politics drama this is, okay? Jeez louise.

[eyesofbluebitch]

Hi i read your reblog to my post and yeah...Seto is kinda mischaracterized by the fandom (that's partly anime fault, especially the 4kids version). His characters is meant to be a ~ very ~ realistically representation of someone with clear PTSD do to an extremely shitty childhood. It is pretty clear that he uses Duel Monsters as a ways of escapism and to communicate with people, while for his relationship with Atem...i personally don't see it as romantic, i mean KT himself during an interview that Kaiba uses Atem as a trauma projection filler to take on the role of Gozaburo (the enemy to defeat) and that's extremely unhealthy.

So yeah... Seto is a good person AT HEART who is also very fucked up because of traumas...when he will go to therapy i will know peace ✌🏻

Hi. Thanks for the ask. I’ll be answering this with my own personal thoughts and opinions being a hardcore Seto stan and long term Seto writer. I reblogged that post because I write Seto very realistically with the actual meanness that puts most people off of him because it’s who he is. With the added corruption and snobbery of being filthy rich. Doing things that a rich figurehead in the real world would do that I absolutely can see Seto doing. Down to mafia elements and drug usage, I myself have gotten a extreme amount of criticism for how mean my Seto portrayal is as well as other themes. I feel he has always been misunderstood and mis-characterized by not only the fandom but his peers in the series as well. I write him with several mental disorders including PTSD. Down to him being an absolute control freak because it’s the only way he doesn’t feel chaotically not in control of his own life and destiny, down to being an immaculately clean person to near obsession levels of tidiness and order. His views on love and affection completely warped and skewed after growing up being abused and neglected showing him that was the norm outside of Mokuba and him and even they had issues now and then. Duel Monsters is most certainly his escape from all of the bullshit swimming in his head and his demanding job as CEO.

As far as romance is concerned in my view of him I can see him well aware he is drop dead gorgeous and I could see him partaking in casual sex to try to unload all of his trauma and use it as escapism. Which is why he is more or less a bachelor in my writing at the baseline. Letting himself love someone though would be extremely difficult and when presented is not without several drunken melt downs trying to analyze every single molecule of how such a situation arose. While they started off that way, him and Atem, he a object for Seto to take down, I feel DSoD changed that. Again it’s my personal view and what I got from the movie but I view DSoD as his personal love letter to Atem despite him being aware of what drives him to chase the man down. I don’t see him risking his life for just a platonic duel personally. He might not know something more is there until it slaps him in his face at point blank range but that’s how I write him as a Prideshipper.

It’s often the norm that people don’t understand trauma and abuse when it comes to turning someone into a harsh and jaded person, especially growing up with no parental figures and the one you think as a child you can trust only turn out to make you worse, that’s something that happened in my own life which is why writing Seto is more or less home for me. We connect in a lot of ways. As far as therapy is concerned I don’t see him going to therapy, at least not my portrayal because he is clammed up so tight that he would never let his walls down to talk to some random therapist. Instead I believe the therapy and escapism he needs he gets out of dueling Atem. Which is why he needs it so badly. He needs to feel alive and feel his blood rushing through his veins in the heat of battle. Letting him that small window in time to forget all the poison that lives in his mind on a daily basis. It is unfortunate that most people see the shit talking asshole portion of him on the surface and as expected want nothing to do with digging deeper because it’s actually work. It isn’t easy. He isn’t easy and people want something that is easy, which is why very few will ever get to see his softer side. But at the end of the day he’s just this big broken guy that wants what anyone wants in the world  —  to be understood and loved. Though he has all but given up on the idea of anyone doing more than betraying him so his walls only continue to solidify as time goes on. Though by post DSoD he does show character development in being willing to join Yuugi on the battle field and offer him a smile at the end of Diva’s defeat. So I hold hope that as things progress his relationships with certain individuals such as Yuugi will improve over time. It just takes him a extremely slow time to get there. Thanks for the ask though. Always willing to discuss my boy.

[2-bdamned]

in regards to the aoex pride post i made last month, here are my personal headcanons as to why i think those are their sexuality’s! ( also thank you to @johnannepeterric for asking about this as i’ve been waiting to share these for a hot minute!!)

rin:

sexuality + gender identity:gay and trans(ftm)

reason: i don’t think he exactly cares for the concept of gender and sexuality but just thinks people should be allowed to like and be whoever they want. he knew he was in the wrong body since he was a little kid but never knew how to phrase it till later on in life. as for on screen reasons, he tends to cover up quite a bit before and after becoming a demon as well as tending to wear baggy clothes to hid his form. not to mention he has very poor posture which most transmasc people (myself included) tend to do when we can’t bind or don’t feel masculine enough. and i think he’s gay mostly due to the fact that he’s never really shown to have any friendships outside of the exwires and tends to get his platonic and romantic affections mixed up quite a bit (as to explain why i still headcanon this after the manga and his confirmed feelings towards shiemi)

yukio:

sexuality: bisexual

reasoning: he seems to show and equal amount of emotions to his colleagues and to the exwires and im like 90% sure he doesn’t really talk about romantic through the manga/anime at all. i think he’s always known he’s liked both genders since he was young. shiro seems like he was very accepting and i honestly think he would’ve helped both the boys with their sexuality’s and gender since he didn’t get the freedom to express that stuff when he was younger due to you know ‼️‼️(SPOILERS) ‼️‼️ literally being a clone made in a lab. yukio seems the type to not really care about gender when it comes to romance and instead look for traits like personality and motivations. his friendships are most based on him genuinely liking the person rather than keeping up with his appearance as someone who’s quite popular. this could possibly lead to the same being transferred over to his romantic bonds.

shiemi:

sexuality: lesbian

reason: like rin, she tends to get romantic and platonic affection mixed up from not having friends till high school. there’s a bit in the manga where izumo brings over some romance novels to try and help shiemi out with figuring out her feelings. we all know most romance novels don’t exactly have the best explanation for feeling so i think that’s where shiemi got mixed up. she gets her admiration for rin mixed up with romantic feelings when in reality, she’s not into him. we can also use the garden scene from kyoto arc as some reasoning to this headcanon. izumo called shiemi a weed and she surprisingly takes this “insult” very well and even thanks izumo for the interaction. even later in kyoto saga, we see shiemi use even more of her power to save izumo from the miasma. she clearly cared a lot about izumo and basically wore herself down to the the brink of exhaustion trying to dave izumo herself when she could have easily run and got help from another exorcist. sheimi seems to care deeply about her friends but shows more concern to izumo than any other exwire (minus rin and yukio).

shima: ‼️‼️ HIS WHOLE HEADCANON REVOLVES AROUND MANGA SPOILERS SO THATS A HEADS UP‼️‼️

sexuality: gay

since he found out about izumo from the illuminati, he never really had a “crush” on her per say, but showed an unromantic interest in her due to her past and just wanted to know more about her. since he had kinzou around him as a kid, i think that played a huge part in him hiding that he was gay (just bc kinzou is a huge perv and probably pushed some of that onto him). that could also lead to the reasoning as to why he’s so pushy with izumo. he’s trying to convince himself he liked women by trying his hardest to like izumo. the kinzou thing is the only thing really leading to me believing this but an alternative reason could also be a fear of changing his personality this late on when both suguro and koneko have known him to be a certain way since he was young. he’s shown to have this perverted personality since he was quite young and it’s even mentioned in an extra concerning why suguro and koneko use his last name and not his first. these two factors lead me to believe his attraction to izumo and subsequently, his attraction to women, is just a lie he’s putting on.

koneko:

sexuality + gender identity: pansexual and genderfluid

reason: koneko is shown to have a deep love and care for the people around him and i think that not only applies to him with friendship, but with romance as well. like yukio, he tends not to focus on the gender of the person perusing him, but rather their intention, personally, and motivations. he wants to know if his partner is a good person rather than their gender. gender wise, i just don’t think he cares. it’s not explicitly shown but it can be heavily implied when he talks to rin about why he has a hard time trusting him after the “son of satan “ reveil happens. for gender identity, i think i as a kid, he was commonly referred to by most pronouns since he wasn’t exactly the most “boy looking” when he was young. later on he learned he didn’t exactly mind what gender people perceived him as but rather how they perceived him as a person. there’s no canon information for the genderfluid headcanon but again, these are my personal headcanon, they don’t exactly have to make sense.

suguro:

sexuality + gender identity: gay and trans (ftm)

reason: this one is mostly me projecting onto this man so if it doesn’t exactly make sense, y’all know why! but he’s shown to be quite affectionate to rin in both the manga and the anime. he doesn’t really tend to do that too much to other people, especially the women that are around him. he probably has some sort of crush on rin or at least some form of admiration to him. as for his gender identity, this is literally just me projecting. that’s it. but i think he does show some signs that i tend to show as a trans person ( the one example i can name off the top of my head is that he seems pretty insecure when shima and koneko brought up his body before he started working out and hates mentions of his body in general ). like rin, he tends to have very poor posture and also doesn’t wear form fitting clothes and this is especially prominent in official art.

izumo:

sexuality: lesbian

reason: she has a very deep relationship with paku and shiemi after the events of the manga take place. she never shows this same connection with any one else throughout the series. she gets severely worried once paku leave cram school and is shown to be quite empty after this happens. ‼️‼️SPOILERS‼️‼️ the same thing happens once shiemi leaves cram school as well and is taken by her family to go train. she seems to be deeply affected by these two events and even goes as far as to show the others her concerns after the thing with shiemi happens. after she ‼️SPOILERS‼️ gets kidnapped by the illuminati and winds up the the hospital, shimei is the first person she lets see her true emotions and feelings and doesn’t once make a comment on her being some kind of hindrance. we also see her show quite a bit of empathy towards shiemi when in kyoto. there’s a scene where they two are gardening and she calls shiemi a weed. she’s very much plays into a tsudere type roll in the beginning but this seems more like a backhanded compliment rather than trying to be a jerk to her. both of the girls receive this interaction in a positive way. we also can use the scene where shiemi saves izumo as a reason for this as well. izumo shows a genuine concern for shiemi both during and after her being stuck in the miasma. even when they go to the hot springs, she seems to have this perpetual blush while looking at shiemi. these all lead me to think she has some sort of feelings toward both paku and shiemi, leading me to headcanon her as a lesbian.

shura:

sexuality: lesbian

she was basically born just so she could produce a child to fuel some demons deep desires. her unhealthy attachment to shiro can be explained by this. i think this is the case for all the “attraction” she showed towards him as a young girl. all her life she’s been told she has to have kids with a man and that’s was her purpose for a long time. thus why i think she’s a lesbian. she never shows any real attraction to a man throughout the entire series besides the man who saved her as a child. she never talks about men till after her character arc in the manga and even then, it seems she just wants to live the rest of her life differently than before and doesn’t exactly seem too enthusiastic about finding a husband as it’s never mentioned again after that point. she really only seems to show an “attraction” to men when it’s useful to her. she uses her looks and charm to get what she wants when it comes to men. she has this facade she puts on where she acts innocent and cute and uses her looks to her advantage. she never truly shows an actual attraction to a man.

mephisto:

sexuality + gender identity: gay and genderfluid

reason: i don’t think any of the demon kings are cis. like not even remotely. they all have to take on different forms and have taken on many in the past. as long as it’s a body, they’re basically fine with whatever. mephs past forms are never shown but we can assume he’s taken on many different body’s in the past as well. after all this body hopping and the fact that gender is literally a thing made up by humans, i don’t think meph really cares about the forms he takes and how his gender is perceived. he knows he’s a powerful demon and could easily destroy the knights of the true cross if he wanted too so gender is the last thing he really cares about. as for sexuality, nothing on screen really points to anything but he tends to show more affection to the men on screen than the women. in fact, the only women we see him really interact with (that i can remember) is shura and we all know how they feel about each other. even though those two both “flirt” with one another, these seem to be more so parts of their personality’s rather than them both having an interest in each other. his “flirting” with shura seems to be more taunting her and displaying his absolute discard for human problems.

amaimon:

gender identity: agender

reason: just like meph, amimon had possessed(?) many different forms over the course of their existence. we even see him take on a rather feminine presenting form when they were destroying the earth. but unlike meph, he is less fluid in terms of gender and instead, prefers to not identify with one. she does use all pronouns and doesn’t exactly care on that front but i think there’s certain terms and compliments they don’t exactly like. meph does use gendered terms with amimon, but these two seem to be very close and have probably communicated this before as well. like koneko being genderfluid, there’s no definitive evidence to support this claim other than these are my own headcanons and i can do what i want.

[shortnotsweet]

Bakudeku: A Non-Comprehensive Dissection of the Exploitation of Working Bodies, the Murder of Annoying Children, and a Rivals-to-Lovers Complex

I. Bakudeku in Canon, And Why Anti’s Need to Calm the Fuck Down

II. Power is Power: the Brain-Melting Process of Normalization and Toxic Masculinity

III. How to Kill Middle Schoolers, and Why We Should

IV. Parallels in Abuse, EnemiesRivals-to-Lovers, and the Necessity of Redemption ft. ATLA’s Zuko

V. Give it to Me Straight. It’s Homophobic.

VI. Love in Perspective, from the East v. West

VII. Stuck in the Sludge, the Past, and Season One

Disclaimer

It needs to be said that there is definitely a place for disagreement, discourse, debate, and analysis: that is a sign of an active fandom that’s heavily invested, and not inherently a bad thing at all. Considering the amount of source material we do have (from the manga, to the anime, to the movies, to the light novels, to the official art), there are going to be warring interpretations, and that’s inevitable.

I started watching and reading MHA pretty recently, and just got into the fandom. I was weary for a reason, and honestly, based on what I’ve seen, I’m still weary now. I’ve seen a lot of anti posts, and these are basically my thoughts. This entire thing is in no way comprehensive, and it’s my own opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. If I wanted to be thorough about this, I would’ve included manga panels, excerpts from the light novel, shots from the anime, links to other posts/essays/metas that have inspired this, etc. but I’m tired and not about that life right now, so, this is what it is. This is poorly organized, but maybe I’ll return to fix it.

Let’s begin.

Bakudeku in Canon, And Why Anti’s Need to Calm the Fuck Down

There are a lot of different reasons, that can be trivial as you like, to ship or not to ship two (or more) characters. It could be based purely off of character design, proximity, aversion to another ship, or hypotheticals. And I do think that it’s totally valid if someone dislikes the ship or can’t get on board with his character because to them, it does come across as abuse, and the implications make them uncomfortable or, or it just feels unhealthy. If that is your takeaway, and you are going to stick to your guns, the more power to you.

But Bakudeku’s relationship has canonically progressed to the point where it’s not the emotionally (or physically) abusive clusterfuck some people portray it to be, and it’s cheap to assume that it would be, based off of their characterizations as middle schoolers. Izuku intentionally opens the story as a naive little kid who views the lens of the Hero society through rose colored glasses and arguably wants nothing more than assimilation into that society; Bakugou is a privileged little snot who embodies the worst and most hypocritical beliefs of this system. Both of them are intentionally proven wrong. Both are brainwashed, as many little children are, by the propaganda and societal norms that they are exposed to. Both of their arcs include unlearning crucial aspects of the Hero ideology in order to become true heroes.

I will personally never simp for Bakugou because for the longest time, I couldn't help but think of him as a little kid on the playground screaming at the top of his lungs because someone else is on the swingset. He’s red in the face, there are probably veins popping out of his neck, he’s losing it. It’s easy to see why people would prefer Tododeku to Bakudeku.

Even now, seeing him differently, I still personally wouldn’t date Bakugou, especially if I had other options. Why? I probably wouldn’t want to date any of the guys who bullied me, especially because I think that schoolyard bullying, even in middle school, affected me largely in a negative way and created a lot of complexes I’m still trying to work through. I haven’t built a better relationship with them, and I’m not obligated to. Still, I associate them with the kind of soft trauma that they inflicted upon me, and while to them it was probably impersonal, to me, it was an intimate sort of attack that still affects me. That being said, that is me. Those are my personal experiences, and while they could undoubtedly influence how I interpret relationships, I do not want to project and hinder my own interpretation of Deku.

The reality is that Deku himself has an innate understanding of Bakugou that no one else does; I mention later that he seems to understand his language, implicitly, and I do stand by that. He understands what it is he’s actually trying to say, often why he’s saying it, and while others may see him as wimpy or unable to stand up for himself, that’s simply not true. Part of Deku’s characterization is that he is uncommonly observant and empathetic; I’m not denying that Bakugou caused harm or inflicted damage, but infantilizing Deku and preaching about trauma that’s not backed by canon and then assuming random people online excuse abuse is just...the leap of leaps, and an actual toxic thing to do. I’ve read fan works where Bakugou is a bully, and that’s all, and has caused an intimate degree of emotional, mental, and physical insecurity from their middle school years that prevents their relationship from changing, and that’s for the better. I’m not going to argue and say that it’s not an interesting take, or not valid, or has no basis, because it does. Its basis is the character that Bakugou was in middle school, and the person he was when he entered UA.

Not only is Bakugou — the current Bakugou, the one who has accumulated memories and experiences and development — not the same person he was at the beginning of the story, but Deku is not the same person, either. Maybe who they are fundamentally, at their core, stays the same, but at the beginning and end of any story, or even their arcs within the story, the point is that characters will undergo change, and that the reader will gain perspective.

“You wanna be a hero so bad? I’ve got a time-saving idea for you. If you think you’ll have a quirk in your next life...go take a swan dive off the roof!”

Yes. That is a horrible thing to tell someone, even if you are a child, even if you don’t understand the implications, even if you don’t mean what it is you are saying. Had someone told me that in middle school, especially given our history and the context of our interactions, I don’t know if I would ever have forgiven them.

Here’s the thing: I’m not Deku. Neither is anyone reading this. Deku is a fictional character, and everyone we know about him is extrapolated from source material, and his response to this event follows:

“Idiot! If I really jumped, you’d be charged with bullying me into suicide! Think before you speak!”

I think it’s unfair to apply our own projections as a universal rather than an interpersonal interpretation; that’s not to say that the interpretation of Bakudeku being abusive or having unbalanced power dynamics isn’t valid, or unfounded, but rather it’s not a universal interpretation, and it’s not canon. Deku is much more of a verbal thinker; in comparison, Bakugou is a visual one, at least in the format of the manga, and as such, we get various panels demonstrating his guilt, and how deep it runs. His dialogue and rapport with Deku has undeniably shifted, and it’s very clear that the way they treat each other has changed from when they were younger. Part of Bakugou’s growth is him gaining self awareness, and eventually, the strength to wield that. He knows what a fucked up little kid he was, and he carries the weight of that.

“At that moment, there were no thoughts in my head. My body just moved on its own.”

There’s a part of me that really, really disliked Bakugou going into it, partially because of what I’d seen and what I’d heard from a limited, outside perspective. I felt like Bakugou embodied the toxic masculinity (and to an extent, I still believe that) and if he won in some way, that felt like the patriarchy winning, so I couldn't help but want to muzzle and leash him before releasing him into the wild.

The reality, however, of his character in canon is that it isn’t very accurate to assume that he would be an abusive partner in the future, or that Midoryia has not forgiven him to some extent already, that the two do not care about each other or are singularly important, that they respect each other, or that the narrative has forgotten any of this.

Don’t mistake me for a Bakugou simp or apologist. I’m not, but while I definitely could also see Tododeku (and I have a soft spot for them, too, their dynamic is totally different and unique, and Todoroki is arguably treated as the tritagonist) and I’m ambivalent about Izuocha (which is written as cannoncially romantic) I do believe that canonically, Bakugou and Deku are framed as soulmates/character foils, Sasuke + Naruto, Kageyama + Hinata style. Their relationship is arguably the focus of the series. That’s not to undermine the importance or impact of Deku’s relationships with other characters, and theirs with him, but in terms of which one takes priority, and which one this all hinges on?

The manga is about a lot of things, yes, but if it were to be distilled into one relationship, buckle up, because it’s the Bakudeku show.

Power is Power: the Brain-Melting Process of Normalization and Toxic Masculinity

One of the ways in which the biopolitical prioritization of Quirks is exemplified within Hero society is through Quirk marriages. Endeavor partially rationalizes the abuse of his family through the creation of a child with the perfect quirk, a child who can be molded into the perfect Hero. People with powerful, or useful abilities, are ranked high on the hierarchy of power and privilege, and with a powerful ability, the more opportunities and avenues for success are available to them.

For the most part, Bakugou is a super spoiled, privileged little rich kid who is born talented but is enabled for his aggressive behavior and, as a child, cannot move past his many internalized complexes, treats his peers like shit, and gets away with it because the hero society he lives in either has this “boys will be boys” mentality, or it’s an example of the way that power, or Power, is systematically prioritized in this society. The hero system enables and fosters abusers, people who want power and publicity, and people who are genetically predisposed to have advantages over others. There are plenty of good people who believe in and participate in this system, who want to be good, and who do good, but that doesn’t change the way that the hero society is structured, the ethical ambiguity of the Hero Commission, and the way that Heroes are but pawns, idols with machine guns, used to sell merch to the public, to install faith in the government, or the current status quo, and reinforce capitalist propaganda. Even All Might, the epitome of everything a Hero should be, is drained over the years, and exists as a concept or idea, when in reality he is a hollow shell with an entire person inside, struggling to survive. Hero society is functionally dependent on illusion.

In Marxist terms: There is no truth, there is only power.

Although Bakugou does change, and I think that while he regrets his actions, what is long overdue is him verbally expressing his remorse, both to himself and Deku. One might argue that he’s tried to do it in ways that are compatible with his limited emotional range of expression, and Deku seems to understand this language implicitly.

I am of the opinion that the narrative is building up to a verbal acknowledgement, confrontation, and subsequent apology that only speaks what has gone unspoken.

That being said, Bakugou is a great example of the way that figures of authority (parents, teachers, adults) and institutions both in the real world and this fictional universe reward violent behavior while also leaving mental and emotional health — both his own and of the people Bakugou hurts — unchecked, and part of the way he lashes out at others is because he was never taught otherwise.

And by that, I’m referring to the ways that are to me, genuinely disturbing. For example, yelling at his friends is chill. But telling someone to kill themselves, even casually and without intent and then misinterpreting everything they do as a ploy to make you feel weak because you're projecting? And having no teachers stop and intervene, either because they are afraid of you or because they value the weight that your Quirk can benefit society over the safety of children? That, to me, is both real and disturbing.

Not only that, but his parents (at least, Mitsuki), respond to his outbursts with more outbursts, and while this is likely the culture of their home and I hesitate to call it abusive, I do think that it contributed to the way that he approaches things. Bakugou as a character is very complex, but I think that he is primarily an example of the way that the Hero System fails people.

I don’t think we can write off the things he’s done, especially using the line of reasoning that “He didn’t mean it that way”, because in real life, children who hurt others rarely mean it like that either, but that doesn’t change the effect it has on the people who are victimized, but to be absolutely fair, I don’t think that the majority of Bakudeku shippers, at least now, do use that line of reasoning. Most of them seem to have a handle on exactly how fucked up the Hero society is, and exactly why it fucks up the people embedded within that society.

The characters are positioned in this way for a reason, and the discoveries made and the development that these characters undergo are meant to reveal more about the fictional world — and, perhaps, our world — as the narrative progresses.

The world of the Hero society is dependent, to some degree, on biopolitics. I don’t think we have enough evidence to suggest that people with Quirks or Quirkless people place enough identity or placement within society to become equivalent to marginalized groups, exactly, but we can draw parallels to the way that Deku and by extent Quirkless people are viewed as weak, a deviation, or disabled in some way. Deviants, or non-productive bodies, are shunned for their inability to perform ideal labor. While it is suggested to Deku that he could become a police officer or pursue some other occupation to help people, he believes that he can do the most positive good as a Hero. In order to be a Hero, however, in the sense of a career, one needs to have Power.

Deviation from the norm will be punished or policed unless it is exploitable; in order to become integrated into society, a deviant must undergo a process of normalization and become a working, exploitable body. It is only through gaining power from All Might that Deku is allowed to assimilate from the margins and into the upper ranks of society; the manga and the anime give the reader enough perspective, context, and examples to allow us to critique and deconstruct the society that is solely reliant on power.

Through his societal privileges, interpersonal biases, internalized complexes, and his subsequent unlearning of these ideologies, Bakugou provides examples of the way that the system simultaneously fails and indoctrinates those who are targeted, neglected, enabled by, believe in, and participate within the system.

Bakudeku are two sides of the same coin. We are shown visually that the crucial turning point and fracture in their relationship is when Bakugou refuses to take Deku’s outstretched hand; the idea of Deku offering him help messes with his adolescent perspective in that Power creates a hierarchy that must be obeyed, and to be helped is to be weak is to be made a loser.

Largely, their character flaws in terms of understanding the hero society are defined and entangled within the concept of power. Bakugou has power, or privilege, but does not have the moral character to use it as a hero, and believes that Power, or winning, is the only way in which to view life. Izuku has a much better grasp on the way in which heroes wield power (their ideologies can, at first, be differentiated as winning vs. saving), and is a worthy successor because of this understanding, and of circumstance. However, in order to become a Hero, our hero must first gain the Power that he lacks, and learn to wield it.

As the characters change, they bridge the gaps of their character deficiencies, and are brought closer together through character parallelism.

Two sides of the same coin, an outstretched hand.

They are better together.

How to Kill Middle Schoolers, and Why We Should

I think it’s fitting that in the manga, a critical part of Bakugou’s arc explicitly alludes to killing the middle school version of himself in order to progress into a young adult. In the alternative covers Horikoshi released, one of them was a close up of Bakugou in his middle school uniform, being stabbed/impaled, with blood rolling out of his mouth. Clearly this references the scene in which he sacrifices himself to save Deku, on a near-instinctual level.

To me, this only cements Horikoshi’s intent that middle school Bakugou must be debunked, killed, discarded, or destroyed in order for Bakugou the hero to emerge, which is why people who do actually excuse his actions or believe that those actions define him into young adulthood don’t really understand the necessity for change, because they seem to imply that he doesn’t need/cannot reach further growth, and there doesn’t need to be a separation between the Bakugou who is, at heart, volatile and repressed the angry, and the Bakugou who sacrifices himself, a hero who saves people.

Plot twist: there does need to be a difference. Further plot twist: there is a difference.

In sacrificing himself for Deku, Bakugou himself doesn't die, but the injury is fatal in the sense that it could've killed him physically and yet symbolizes the selfish, childish part of him that refused to accept Deku, himself, and the inevitability of change. In killing those selfish remnants, he could actually become the kind of hero that we the reader understand to be the true kind.

That’s why I think that a lot of the people who stress his actions as a child without acknowledging the ways he has changed, grown, and tried to fix what he has broken don’t really get it, because it was always part of his character arc to change and purposely become something different and better. If the effects of his worst and his most childish self stick with you more, and linger despite that, that’s okay. But distilling his character down to the wrong elements doesn’t get you the bare essentials; what it gets you is a skewed and shallow version of a person. If you’re okay with that version, that is also fine.

But you can’t condemn others who aren’t fine with that incomplete version, and to become enraged that others do not see him as you do is childish.

Bakugou’s change and the emphasis on that change is canon.

Parallels in Abuse, EnemiesRivals-to-Lovers, and the Necessity of Redemption ft. ATLA’s Zuko

In real life, the idea that “oh, he must bully you because he likes you” is often used as a way to brush aside or to excuse the action of bullying itself, as if a ‘secret crush’ somehow negates the effects of bullying on the victim or the inability of the bully to properly process and manifest their emotions in certain ways. It doesn’t. It often enables young boys to hurt others, and provides figures of authority to overlook the real source of schoolyard bullying or peer review. The “secret crush”, in real life, is used to undermine abuse, justify toxic masculinity, and is essentially used as a non-solution solution.

A common accusation is that Bakudeku shippers jump on the pairing because they romanticize pairing a bully and a victim together, or believe that the only way for Bakugou to atone for his past would be to date Midoryia in the future. This may be true for some people, in which case, that’s their own preference, but based on my experience and what I’ve witnessed, that’s not the case for most.

The difference being is that as these are characters, we as readers or viewers are meant to analyze them. Not to justify them, or to excuse their actions, but we are given the advantage of the outsider perspective to piece their characters together in context, understand why they are how they are, and witness them change; maybe I just haven’t been exposed to enough of the fandom, but no one (I’ve witnessed) treats the idea that “maybe Bakugou has feelings he can’t process or understand and so they manifest in aggressive and unchecked ways'' as a solution to his inability to communicate or process in a healthy way, rather it is just part of the explanation of his character, something is needs to — and is — working through. The solution to his middle school self is not the revelation of a “teehee, secret crush”, but self-reflection, remorse, and actively working to better oneself, which I do believe is canonically reflected, especially as of recently.

In canon, they are written to be partners, better together than apart, and I genuinely believe that one can like the Bakudeku dynamic not by route of romanticization but by observation.

I do think we are meant to see parallels between him and Endeavor; Endeavor is a high profile abuser who embodies the flaws and hypocrisy of the hero system. Bakugou is a schoolyard bully who emulates and internalizes the flaws of this system as a child, likely due to the structure of the society and the way that children will absorb the propaganda they are exposed to; the idea that Quirks, or power, define the inherent value of the individual, their ability to contribute to society, and subsequently their fundamental human worth. The difference between them is the fact that Endeavor is the literal adult who is fully and knowingly active within a toxic, corrupt system who forces his family to undergo a terrifying amount of trauma and abuse while facing little to no consequences because he knows that his status and the values of their society will protect him from those consequences. In other words, Endeavor is the threat of what Bakugou could have, and would have, become without intervention or genuine change.

Comparisons between characters, as parallels or foils, are tricky in that they imply but cannot confirm sameness. Having parallels with someone does not make them the same, by the way, but can serve to illustrate contrasts, or warnings. Harry Potter, for example, is meant to have obvious parallels with Tom Riddle, with similar abilities, and tragic upbringings. That doesn’t mean Harry grows up to become Lord Voldemort, but rather he helps lead a cross-generational movement to overthrow the facist regime. Harry is offered love, compassion, and friends, and does not embrace the darkness within or around him. As far as moldy old snake men are concerned, they do not deserve a redemption arc because they do not wish for one, and the truest of change only occurs when you actively try to change.

To be frank, either way, Bakugou was probably going to become a good Hero, in the sense that Endeavor is a ‘good’ Hero. Hero capitalized, as in a pro Hero, in the sense that it is a career, an occupation, and a status. Because of his strong Quirk, determination, skill, and work ethic, Bakugou would have made a good Hero. Due to his lack of character, however, he was not on the path to become a hero; defender of the weak, someone who saves people to save people, who is willing to make sacrifices detrimental to themselves, who saves people out of love.

It is necessary for him to undergo both a redemption arc and a symbolic death and rebirth in order for him to follow the path of a hero, having been inspired and prompted by Deku.

I personally don’t really like Endeavor’s little redemption arc, not because I don’t believe that people can change or that they shouldn't at least try to atone for the atrocities they have committed, but because within any narrative, a good redemption arc is important if it matters; what also matters is the context of that arc, and whether or not it was needed. For example, in ATLA, Zuko’s redemption arc is widely regarded as one of the best arcs in television history, something incredible. And it is. That shit fucks. In a good way.

It was confirmed that Azula was also going to get a redemption arc, had Volume 4 gone on as planned, and it was tentatively approached in the comics, which are considered canon. She is an undeniably bad person (who is willing to kill, threaten, exploit, and colonize), but she is also a child, and as viewers, we witness and recognize the factors that contributed to her (debatable) sociopathy, and the way that the system she was raised in failed her. Her family failed her; even Uncle Iroh, the wise mentor who helps guide Zuko to see the light, is willing to give up on her immediately, saying that she’s “crazy” and needs to be “put down”. Yes, it’s comedic, and yes, it’s pragmatic, but Azula is fourteen years old. Her mother is banished, her father is a psychopath, and her older brother, from her perspective, betrayed and abandoned her. She doesn’t have the emotional support that Zuko does; she exploits and controls her friends because it’s all she’s been taught to do; she says herself, her “own mother thought [she] was a monster; she was right, of course, but it still [hurts]”. A parent who does not believe in you, or a parent that uses you and will hurt you, is a genuine indicator of trauma.

The writers understood that both Zuko and Azula deserved redemption arcs. One was arguably further gone than the other, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are both children, products of their environment, who have the time, motive, and reason to change.

In contrast, you know who wouldn’t have deserved a redemption arc? Ozai. That simply would not have been interesting, wouldn’t have served the narrative well, and honestly, is not needed, thematically or otherwise. Am I comparing Ozai to Endeavor? Basically, yes. Fuck those guys. I don’t see a point in Endeavor’s little “I want to be a good dad now” arc, and I think that we don’t need to sympathize with characters in order to understand them or be interested in them. I want Touya/Dabi to expose his abuse, for his career to crumble, and then for him to die.

If they are not challenging the system that we the viewer are meant to question, and there is no thematic relevance to their redemption, is it even needed?

On that note, am I saying that Bakugou is the equivalent to Zuko? No, lmao. Definitely not. They are different characters with different progressions and different pressures. What I am saying is that good redemption arcs shouldn’t be handed out like candy to babies; it is the quality, rather than the quantity, that makes a redemption arc good. In terms of the commentary of the narrative, who needs a redemption arc, who is deserving, and who does it make sense to give one to?

In this case, Bakugou checks those boxes. It was always in the cards for him to change, and he has. In fact, he’s still changing.

Give it to Me Straight. It’s Homophobic.

There does seem to be an urge to obsessively gender either Bakugou or Deku, in making Deku the ultra-feminine, stereotypically hyper-sexualized “woman” of the relationship, with Bakugou becoming similarly sexualized but depicted as the hyper-masculine bodice ripper. On some level, that feels vaguely homophobic if not straight up misogynistic, in that in a gay relationship there’s an urge to compel them to conform under heteronormative stereotypes in order to be interpreted as real or functional. On one hand, I will say that in a lot of cases it feels like more of an expression of a kink, or fetishization and subsequent expression of internalized misogyny, at least, rather than a genuine exploration of the complexity and power imbalances of gender dynamics, expression, and boundaries.

That being said, I don’t think that that problematic aspect of shipping is unique to Bakudeku, or even to the fandom in general. We’ve all read fan work or see fanart of most gay ships in a similiar manner, and I think it’s a broader issue to be addressed than blaming it on a singular ship and calling it a day.

One interpretation of Bakugou’s character is his repression and the way his character functions under toxic masculinity, in a society’s egregious disregard for mental and emotional health (much like in the real world), the horrifying ways in which rage is rationalized or excused due to the concept of masculinity, and the way that characteristics that are associated with femininity — intellect, empathy, anxiety, kindness, hesitation, softness — are seen as stereotypically “weak”, and in men, traditionally emasculating. In terms of the way that the fictional universe is largely about societal priority and power dynamics between individuals and the way that extends to institutions, it’s not a total stretch to guess that gender as a construct is a relevant topic to expand on or at least keep in mind for comparison.

I think that the way in which characters are gendered and the extent to which that is a result of invasive heteronormativity and fetishization is a really important conversation to have, but using it as a case-by-case evolution of a ship used to condemn people isn’t conductive, and at that point, it’s treated as less of a real concern but an issue narrowly weaponised.

Love in Perspective, from the East v. West

Another thing I think could be elaborated on and written about in great detail is the way that the Eastern part of the fandom and the Western part of the fandom have such different perspectives on Bakudeku in particular. I am not going to go in depth with this, and there are many other people who could go into specifics, but just as an overview:

The manga and the anime are created for and targeted at a certain audience; our take on it will differ based on cultural norms, decisions in translation, understanding of the genre, and our own region-specific socialization. This includes the way in which we interpret certain relationships, the way they resonate with us, and what we do and do not find to be acceptable. Of course, this is not a case-by-case basis, and I’m sure there are plenty of people who hold differing beliefs within one area, but speaking generally, there is a reason that Bakudeku is not regarded as nearly as problematic in the East.

Had this been written by a Western creator, marketed primarily to and within the West (for reference, while I am Chinese, but I have lived in the USA for most of my life, so my own perspective is undoubtedly westernized), I would’ve immediately jumped to make comparisons between the Hero System and the American police system, in that a corrupt, or bastardized system is made no less corrupt for the people who do legitimately want to do good and help people, when that system disproportionately values and targets others while relying on propaganda that society must be reliant on that system in order to create safe communities when in reality it perpetuates just as many issues as it appears to solve, not to mention the way it attracts and rewards violent and power-hungry people who are enabled to abuse their power. I think comparisons can still be made, but in terms of analysis, it should be kept in mind that the police system in other parts of the world do not have the same history, place, and context as it does in America, and the police system in Japan, for example, probably wasn’t the basis for the Hero System.

As much as I do believe in the Death of the Author in most cases, the intent of the author does matter when it comes to content like this, if merely on the basis that it provides context that we may be missing as foreign viewers.

As far as the intent of the author goes, Bakugou is on a route of redemption.

He deserves it. It is unavoidable. That, of course, may depend on where you’re reading this.

Stuck in the Sludge, the Past, and Season One

If there’s one thing, to me, that epitomizes middle school Bakugou, it’s him being trapped in a sludge monster, rescued by his Quirkless childhood friend, and unable to believe his eyes. He clings to the ideology he always has, that Quirkless means weak, that there’s no way that Deku could have grown to be strong, or had the capacity to be strong all along. Bakugou is wrong about this, and continuously proven wrong. It is only when he accepts that he is wrong, and that Deku is someone to follow, that he starts his real path to heroics.

If Bakudeku’s relationship does not appeal to someone for whatever reason, there’s nothing wrong with that. They can write all they want about why they don’t ship it, or why it bothers them, or why they think it’s problematic. If it is legitimately triggering to you, then by all means, avoid it, point it out, etc. but do not undermine the reality of abuse simply to point fingers, just because you don’t like a ship. People who intentionally use the anti tag knowing it’ll show up in the main tag, go after people who are literally minding their own business, and accuse people of supporting abuse are the ones looking for a fight, and they’re annoying as hell because they don’t bring anything to the table. No evidence, no analysis, just repeated projection.

To clarify, I’m referring to a specific kind of shipper, not someone who just doesn’t like a ship, but who is so aggressive about it for absolutely no reason. There are plenty of very lovely people in this fandom, who mind their own business, multipship, or just don’t care.

Calling shippers dumb or braindead or toxic (to clarify, this isn’t targeting any one person I’ve seen, but a collective) based on projections and generalizations that come entirely from your own impression of the ship rather than observation is...really biased to me, and comes across as uneducated and trigger happy, rather than constructive or helpful in any way.

I’m not saying someone has to ship anything, or like it, in order to be a ‘good’ participant. But inserting derogatory material into a main tag, and dropping buzzwords with the same tired backing behind it without seeming to understand the implications of those words or acknowledging the development, pacing, and intentional change to the characters within the plot is just...I don’t know, it comes across as redundant, to me at least, and very childish. Aggressive. Toxic. Problematic. Maybe the real toxic shippers were the ones who bitched and moaned along the way. They’re like little kids, stuck in the past, unable to visualize or recognize change, and I think that’s a real shame because it’s preventing them from appreciating the story or its characters as it is, in canon.

But that’s okay, really. To each their own. Interpretations will vary, preferences differ, perspectives are not uniform. There is no one truth. There are five seasons of the show, a feature film, and like, thirty volumes as of this year.

All I’m saying is that if you want to stay stuck in the first season of each character, then that’s what you’re going to get. That’s up to you.

This may be edited or revised.

[theheightofdishonor]

Teen Wolf triads are something that can be so personal, so here’s a list of my faves 

Scott/Stiles/Allison

The OG trio. The gang that dies together might not stay together, but they’re still iconic.

Scott/Stiles/Lydia

Any Scott/Stiles/X dynamic is brilliant, but few more than this one. These three have been there since the beginning and they’ve gone through so much together. There’s no Teen Wolf without them. 

Scott/Stiles/Derek

They were the driving force in S1&2 and had some absolutely iconic moments together. Hate that there wasn’t more of them after that. 

Scott/Derek/Isaac 

Mostly based on S2/3. I was very invested in Isaac’s struggle to pick between these two. 

Scott/Stiles/Isaac

This triad’s dynamic completely changes between S2 and 3. In Season 2, Isaac, as part of Derek’s pack is a slightly antagonistic figure and it’s very much Scott&Stiles vs Isaac but in S3, Scott and Isaac grow closer while Isaac and Stiles erm, don’t. It’s very fun to watch. 

Scott/Isaac/Allison

My ot3 and the only trio on this list that I 100% ship. 

Isaac/Erica/Boyd

Ayy, it’s the OG Hale Pack aka 3 teens bonding over being thrown headfirst into something they weren’t prepared for and Derek’s horrible leadership. Isaac should’ve ran away with Erica and Boyd for solidarity’s sake. 

Chris/Allison/Isaac

Chris’s struggle between hating Isaac for dating his daughter and wanting to adopt him is hilarious. One of my favourites. 

Scott/Melissa/Isaac

 Who didn’t completely melt at Isaac joining the McCall fam? The scene where they’re ‘guarding’ Melissa was so cute. As a bonus, it made Stiles’s animosity towards Isaac that much stronger. Will forever hate that this trio was more or less non-existent in 3b even though I love Chris/Allison/Isaac. 

Derek/Cora/Peter

The non-dead Hales. Why oh why did Cora have to leave? Their family dynamic was great. 

Allison/Lydia/Cora

I know they only had a couple scenes as a triad, but there was so potential. We love antagonism with underlying sexual tension. And ofc, the only thing better than 1 terrifying badass that can secretly be super sweet is 3 terrifying badasses. 

Derek/Isaac/Boyd

At one point, the only non-dead members of the Hale Pack (TW quickly amended that). I always think of the S3a Loft scene where Boyd and Isaac skip school to protect Derek. Despite how awful of an alpha Derek’s been, they still care about him and he cares about them (as actual people and not just betas that he needs for power like he did originally)

Derek/Allison/Lydia. 

Yes it’s my 5th s3 based trio in a row, but can you blame me? This is 100% based off the classroom scene in 3x02. 

Allison/Lydia/Jackson

Although Lydia and Jackson were both awful in S1, their friendship with Allison and their immediately taking her under their wing was beyond precious. Additionally, it combines both the asshole-who’s-soft-towards-1-person- dynamic (jydia w/ allison) and assholes-who-secretly-care-about-each-other (jydia) And ofc, the underlying tension due to Jydia’s disdain towards Scott and later, Jackson and Allison’s experiences/knowledge of the supernatural. 

Malia/Kira/Lydia

Comedy gold. Their scenes speak for themselves and we needed more. 

Liam/Mason/Corey

Their S6a dynamic is sooo underrated and should’ve been given more screen time. I loved watching Liam and Corey struggle to get along for Mason’s sake because they want him to be happy. It was all very wholesome and one of the few things that made 6a worth watching. 

Stiles/Scott/Liam

Aka the best part of S4.Their dynamic is so fun and well-balanced and infinitely better because they’re a triad. You’ve got Scott and Liam figuring out their mentor/mentee relationship with Stiles co-parenting and preventing the Scott/Liam dynamic from turning unhealthy. (Liam and Scott’s S6 dynamic veered way too close to parent/child for my taste. They need Stiles to balance it out) It’s also hilarious how quickly Liam accepts being aggressively adopted by two idiots who are barely older than him. And Stiles takes so easily to playing older brother/co-parent. It’s adorable. They’re adorable. 

Erica/Allison/Lydia 

Very similar dynamic to Allison/Lydia/Cora due to Cora and Erica’s similar personalities but also not, which has a lot to do with Allison and Lydia’s reactions to Erica’s weaponized feminity. Also, there’s a lot more history between these girls and I want to know everything about what Erica thinks of Lydia after going to school with her for years. 

Sherriff/Melissa/Chris 

Of the top of my head, I can only remember that time where they were trapped under the Nemeton and that’s simply unacceptable. 

Sheriff/Noshiko/Melissa. 

It’s a crime that this triad never got scenes. Especially after the Sheriff tried to arrest Kira. I know Melissa bitch slapped him but I wanted to watch these two badasses gang up on the Sheriff together. ( the Noshiko/Melissa dynamic would be so iconic.) 

Victoria/Noshiko/Melissa

Another triad that never shared scenes (obviously because Vic is dead) but their power would’ve been off the charts. I want to make a joke about milfs, but I’ll refrain. 

The Yukimura fam

Seemed appropriate since my last two also included. Noshiko.I love family dynamics and the Yukimuras are no exception. The attraction of this triad, for me, is mostly the dynamic between Kira and Noshiko and how Ken navigates between them. They’re also a trio that we didn’t see nearly enough of in S4 and 5. Like seriously, where were they? Noshiko’s on the dead pool, but she’s barely mentioned. (on a mostly unrelated note, how is the 900 yr old Kitsune worth less than a girl that just found about her kitsune powers?)

Derek/Allison/Scott

I don’t need to explain this one. The angst, the drama, Derek projecting Kate onto Allison and Allison trying to murder Derek and their evolution to reluctant allies with a good dash of Scallison and Scott navigating his own difficult relationship with Derek. Aka the complicated, tension fraught trio we all loved/should love. ( ok, I kind of explained it)

Derek/Scott/Liam 

And here we have a two for one deal; two mentor/mentee dynamics in 1 triad. People much smarter than me have written about this trio in extensive detail, so all I’m saying is that Derek’s that one uncle who occasionally comes around and gives somewhat helpful advice. 

Braeden/Malia/Scott 

Braeden and Scott were great in S4. Braeden and Malia were great in S5. Scott and Malia are pretty great when they’re not in a relationship. Combine, and you get what had to be a kick-ass triad that’s sadly never canonly shown together (I think)

Melissa/Chris/Isaac

Not actually featured in the show, but Isaac deserves all the parental figures and I want to witness the surely epic custody battle between Chris and Melissa. 

Malia/Scott/Peter

That this trio is on here is actually pretty funny because I hate both Scalia and the forced Peter/Malia bonding in S6. But I loved the scene where Peter warned Malia not to fall in love with Scott because a) he has absolutely 0 right to advise her on anything and b) because of the history between Scott and Peter. In a way, a relationship with Malia is just another thing tying Scott to someone that’s repeatedly caused harm to him and his friends and was the initial cause for all the pain he’s suffered in the last couple years. I just find this dynamic worth exploring. 

Malia/Derek/Peter

The Hales 2.0. Derek and Malia deserve to bond over unwillingly being related to Peter, that scumbag. 

Malia/Stiles/Peter

Stiles and Peter are so fun together and Stalia is my jam. Throw in an antagonistic Malia and Peter relationship and they’re entertaining as hell. Much more lighthearted than Malia/Scott/Peter.  

Stiles/Malia/Lydia 

To clarify, this has nothing to do with a love triangle and everything to do with how their personalities play off each other. It’s one of those trios where together, they’re either terrifying or absolute morons. 

Stiles/Cora/Derek

Admittedly, my version of this is very Sterek+Cora and the hilarity of Stiles and his attraction to Hales but it’s also 3x snark and you really can’t go wrong. 

Scott/Stiles/Melissa 

It’s Melissa and her boys 1.0. This woman is by far the best parent on this show, and I love the specific dynamic among these three. Melissa might not always like Stiles, but she cares about him and there’s the mutual understanding that they both adore Scott and would do anything for him. Also, Mel being exasperated by the dumbass duo is always funny.  

Kate/Allison/Chris

Lowkey another custody battle because Kate and Chris do fight to be the bigger influence on Allison This is such a tragic trio to me, and the lesson here is basically that sometimes love isn’t enough. Chris and Kate both genuinely love Allison and she loves them too but can’t have both and at some point, she has neither. Kate and Chris care about each other, but that’s not enough either. In the end, they all lose each other. There’s no happy ending for them, at least not with each other. 

Derek/Stiles/Peter

Stiles just has chemistry (not necessarily romantic) with all Hales and this trio really shines through in 3x01 and in S3 in general. “Chess is Stiles’s game” asgdhfjgh. I wanted more of that very specific dynamic. 

That was a hell lot longer than I thought it would be, but what can you do. Feel free to tell me your own opinions in the tags/comments.