#They're both near 6ft

[zibbyyss]

I’m starting to realize that my nostalgic YouTuber and my current favorite YouTuber are basically the same 😐

[ravenna-reid]

hey babe! how you're doing?

so here's an idea i had. Maybe something like reader was kidnapped by joker, tortured just like jason but Batman saved her before the same fate as the second robin hits her. And Bruce -needs- jason to help her because he's the only one who passed through what she passed?? like, they're relationship could be something angsty, idk

Hey!! I'm doing well and I hope you are too! <3 Tysm for requesting!!! I love writing for ya'll and this idea!!!! This idea is everything omg....I hope you enjoy what I've written hehe

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Old Scars - Jason Todd x Reader

TW: torture via electrocution, trauma (canon things)

Three and a half hours.

That's how Bruce had tried to smooth it over.

By saying it was only three and a half hours. But as far as Jason was concerned, that's three and a half hours too long.

"Bruce...fuck I can't believe he did this again."

"Me either..." Bruce murmured over the comms, barely audible. "It should never have happened."

It wouldn't have happened... if only you would let someone put the clown 6ft under.

The bitter thought repeated in Jason's mind like a broken record, but he kept it to himself. Because all he could think about right now was you and what had happened. All he could focus on was the traumas and fears that were resurfacing, itching away at him like a disease. Consuming him like a plague. And it was even worst knowing you had gone through it all too now.

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Three and a half hours.

It'd only been three and a half hours...and yet it was feeling like an eternity. You spluttered on the water that had made its way into your mouth and down your throat.

The manic laughter was numbing your ears. The straps on your arms and legs were digging so deeply into your skin it was making your stomach churn. The burning in your veins and jolts tracing through your limbs were near unbearable.

Wasn't it ironic how your main weapons on patrol involved electricity. And now, the clown had you strapped to some sort of hospital bed; routinely dumping a bucket of water on you before turning up the volts attached to your limbs.

Well, that's what the punchline was according to Joker. That's what made this all oh so funny.

All you could think was how much longer?

How much longer until Bruce came? Or Dick, Cass, literally fucking anyone. Clark or Diana even.

But no matter how hard you fought to suppress it, that same thought repeated in your mind like a broken record.

No one had come for Jason. They were too late.

Black dots were swimming in your vision and your head was pounding. It took you a second to realise that no one was actually hitting it to cause that sensation. Everything was blurred and hazy, but he was laughing again. You could tell. And laughing meant another jolt of electricity.

No please. You just wanted to go to sleep. Close your eyes.

Maybe if you slept, the pain would all go away. Fade away like a sick dream. Maybe it'd stop. Just for a second.

"No.." You cried, then cursed yourself. This sick freak would find satisfaction in your begs, but the words fell from your lips before you could stop them.

"I can't...I..."

Your scream tore through the atmosphere as he flipped the switch.

Then...glass shattering. The clown falling to the floor. Pointed ears.

And finally...darkness.

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It'd been 30 minutes.

30 minutes of Jason standing outside your bedroom door.

But he just couldn't do it.

He knew how selfish it was. Selfish and cruel.

You'd both had been friends for a while now. Nothing major, not like you and the others. But he had a deep-rooted respect for you. You and your backstory, your unwavering morals and goal. He really did admire you...he just had a shitty way of showing it.

You were kind without being a doormat. Strong without being unhinged and violent. And you always appeared at the perfect time. Whether it was when he was outnumbered in a fight, in need of some extra bandages and headache medication, or when he was alone on a rooftop contemplating everything.

You seemed to have always appeared at the perfect time. And he couldn't even do that.

"You have to help her through this Jason, regardless." Bruce had said to him. Chastised him. Berated him.

"Do you think..." Jason trailed off, those horrible words dying on his tongue.

'Do you think she'll end up like me now?'

Bruce hadn't given him the chance to explain what he was trying to say. "Jason this isn't about you!" He had snapped, ripping Jason from his thoughts.

"Y/n needs you right now. She needs someone she can relate to. Someone who can understand. Can you do that Jason? Be there for her when she wakes up?"

So here Jason was, before your door 35 minutes later.

A stupid tremble began in his hands as he glared down at them. Begging them to just rise and knock on your damn door. Was it the fact that you had just been involved in something so heinous that was crawling under his skin? Or was it his visit with the past? Most likely both. It was most likely everything-

The door swung open, Alfred dressed in his usual attire, now bloody and dishevelled, and a mournful look on his face.

Jason's heart leapt into his throat. "Alfred, is she-"

Alfred raised his hand and closed his tired eyes. "She should be fine Master Todd. Few bruises here and there, but most of the damage is internal."

Jason let out a shaky breath he didn't know he was holding.

"That vile man..." Alfred began with the shake of his head. "Whatever he used to electrocute Miss y/l/n, it was made so that she wouldn't die instantly..."

"He wanted the moment to last as long as possible." Bruce was behind Alfred, face as blank as ever.

Jason stiffened. Frustration and panic and hate bubbling all at once inside of him. For who was to blame for this deja vu of a situation?

The clown that should have been killed, or the man that keeps protecting him?

"I'm glad you decided to come Jason."

Jason wanted to scoff. Huff in annoyance. But stuck to his bitter glare. "So she's alright? A-alive, she'll live?" He snapped.

"Yes, she just needs a lot of rest. She's not fully conscious yet but, you should still go in and see her."

Jason swallowed hard. "You can leave then."

Bruce tried to keep his temper, and to do so, he left with Alfred without another word. Alfred gave a weak smile for encouragement before Jason forced himself into the bedroom.

No doubt Alfred and Bruce had performed numerous medical procedures on you. 'Electrocution' Bruce had explained, for who knew how long. But he had assured Jason that he did everything he could, and that for the mean time, you should be ok...

The door squeaked as he shut it behind him, and suddenly it was as though the room was trying to swallow him whole, the only comfort being your scent.

The sun fought to break through not only the dark clouds outside, but the sheer curtains that were drawn over your windows. It casted dark shadows across your room, and they sat and watched as Jason neared your bed.

He wish he would stop fiddling with his hands. Stop sweating. Stop continuously swallowing. But he had no idea what state you were in. What he'd see once he looked down at you.

Nearing the bed, he saw your form nestled amongst the thick duvet and pillows. And as he quietly sat himself down on the chair beside your bed, he let out another sharp breath.

Your face was pale like snow. Colourless like the overcast sky outside. Your eyes were closed as you remained in your slumber, and Jason only hoped it brought you more peace than reality did. That the drugs you were hooked up to weren't keeping you trapped inside of a nightmare.

Was this what he had looked like afterwards? So sad? So silent and distant from the world?

Every now and then you twitched, and instinctively Jason reached out to you. He took his time, gingerly running the back of his finger across your bruised cheek. Brushed the hair from your face. Your skin was still cold.

How could he make you warm? How could he get rid of the cold?

He could still remember that cold, and he wondered where Joker had tortured you. Most likely not where Jason had been beaten with a crow bar, but his memory still dragged him back there. To that abandoned wing. The cold tiles. The dirt and grime and darkness. The laughter and weapons and tools...

Jason clawed his way back to the present only to be greeted with the full impact of the grief that came with the fact that Joker had done to you what had been done to him.

And Jason hated it.

With the lump in his throat and pain in his chest, he rose from the seat and quickly left your room.

He was glad you were asleep. At peace for the time being before awakening and having to deal with it all. He was glad that you were asleep so you couldn't see the tears in his eyes.

[catboyloon]

HOW I MAKE MYSELF HUGE!!!!

been meaning to make this post for a while So!

since i cant really actually inflate my belly for real and i have trouble gaining weight, heres how ive made myself plump, soft, & puffed for the sake of kink

getting fat as fuck: pretty much just stuffing blankets under my clothes, feels really really nice.. pillows work too, but those imo are less reliable and are less so soft and squishable and a bit malleable like a bunch of blankets stuffed to make a fat tummy, but more puffy/returns to form. idk how to really describe it but usually i only throw in pillows if i'm feeling the need to be as big as possible (and even then for me usually 4 blankets satisfy that!)

also you can try wrapping a blanket around others or a pillow (if not multiple layered wraps) for a more managable big plush tummy, really nice to squish and while it may not fully fit under your shirt (though it might feel good to try) it's still so nice

as for stuffing yourself like that, the bigger your clothes are and the more they can stretch, the better! i know that's obvious but still. also applies to inflation as i'll describe below. in fact, when it comes to both kinda of expansion, imo the best clothing for it is something like a kigurumimi. comfy in general, pretty roomy, and can stretch a fair bit without ripping (even though mine now has an accidentally ripped hole in a pretty convenient spot, and a button came off once!)

as for inflation its all basically just "inflate something under your clothes" but i've tried a LOT of things. so here's the options i've had from best to worst:

yoga ball. easy to inflate, easy to deflate, feels good & it's pretty durable, only complaint is how they only go up to about 3ft in diameter i think? maybe 6ft but i'm not sure. not the easiest to fill with water but that's just because i have no real way to fill anything with water here, so... anyway. they're also nice and squishy when left a little underinflated, which is nice because you can have a big puff gut without it also being taut as a drum. then you can go further and make yourself taut if you really want it! solid 8/10, if only it could be bigger..

weather balloons. i have two and have used both at once before (one for my belly the other for thighs/ass, between my legs) but usually just use one. can get SUPER fucking huge, kinda squishy (but not as much as a yoga ball, also not nearly as durable; i've popped one before by accident before.. do not underestimate water i guess lmao) and honestly really good, also pretty squeaky once you get big and full enough, and i've even puffed myself to near immobility with them before. though not the easiest to set up since you'd need something to keep the balloon whatever it's called tight on the hose you're using. i just use reusable zipties tbh since it felt like the obvious solution. also kinda cheap! only like $30 for one on amazon.. another solid 8/10

a clean, unused trash bag. most difficult probably to set up for proper inflation, but honestly not the worst option. feels alright, more crinkly than squeaky though unless you get it REAL full, but the shape/form fitting of it is pretty lacking compared to a yoga ball or weather balloon. 5/10

a basketball. not really that good unless you like tightness/a feeling of pressure, mainly just used it to give myself a puffy crotch bulge & it felt good ngl? though the fact i need to use the bike pump for it sucks, plus it isn't the easiest to deflate as a result. 4/10

a normal ass party balloon. this just sucks shit i'm sorry, they're too small, they're not squishy enough to give you a comfy belly (even the basketball does that better!) and honestly you'd be better off with anything else on here. 2/10

as for pumps:

foot pump. nice long hose, pretty much hands free because i can just, well, use my feetpaws to puff up instead of having to use one (or sometimes both!) hands to operate a pump. works with the yoga ball (even though i don't have one now), weather balloons, trash bag (since anything would work) and probably other things. 9/10

aquarium pump. speed is adjustable but the hoses are tiny, and it's not even that fast at the max setting. good for a slow burn i guess, but ehhh. 5/10, only ever made it work with the weather balloons. the hoses being so thin and it being so slow makes it kinda suck for this, but it will probably be good for inflating my actual stomach someday.. carefully of course

cylindrical hand pump that came with the yoga ball. pretty alright, the motion you have to make with it to inflate something with it is a bit like jerking off so that's kinda nice. only ever worked with the yoga ball, but if i had enough time i could probably make it work with other things. 7/10

bike pump. despite what a lot of art may have you believe, these fucking suck! mainly due to how short they are. the pump itself is short so you can't do it standing up, and the hose is too short to use comfortably without just. sitting in a weird way with the pump probably between your legs. or sitting on the ground and using it but ehhhhhhh. 2/10 it sucks

this is all pretty much it. im curious how all of you do it, but also highly recommend you guys try it out and tell me how you guys feel or think about it! i also might post myself doing this sorta thing more in the future

also uh. something a bit more nsfw,

putting this under a readmore because i cant just spoil things like discord, it feels so fucking good to just hump my own belly when im huge. be that puffed (tbh yoga balls are the best for that, just not when fully inflated) or stuffed (pillows might be better but you could also just wrap them all up in a bundle so). it's like jerking off but better. go bellyfuck yourself today!

[mencnfire]

Muse added | Kano

ㅤnameㅤㅤ kano. ㅤaliasㅤㅤ the black dragon. ㅤageㅤㅤ 33 / 58. ㅤpronounsㅤㅤ he / him. ㅤspeciesㅤㅤ human. ㅤbirthdateㅤㅤ november 9th. ㅤsexualityㅤㅤ heterosexual. ㅤnationalityㅤㅤ australian. ㅤoccupationㅤㅤ mercenary / cartel boss. ㅤheightㅤㅤ 6ft 3" ㅤbuildㅤㅤ muscular.

personality

kano is a ruthless mercenary, cartel boss, martial artist and criminal. a man who will only ever side with the winning side - a brutalist who knows no other language than violence...and of course sex, and booze and australian~!kano may seem happy-go-lucky, casual and a bit of a jokester but beneath the thin veil of charisma is an obsessive and fierce man willing to stop at nothing to get what he wants.

biography

given up as a baby - kano was extremely young when he was adopted by a loving couple eager for a child of their own. named 'kao' by the japanese mother to adopt him, a mistake on the birth certificate led to him instead being called 'kano.' his father, a brutish australian man and former military man said 'hey, that's pretty cool' and thus came kano.

growing up, kano was doted on by his parents. his mother was strict, teaching him martial art ( specifically aikido ) from an early age, his dad on the other hand began to grow aloof when the boy that they'd adopted began to turn hostile. at a very young age ( five - six ) kano began lashing out and attacking strangers. his maliciousness was something his parents tried their best to curb out but the child seemed to persist. despite this, kano loved his mother dearly and would listen to her. at the age of thirteen, his parents had reached their end with kano's behaviour and separated. kano stayed with his mother while his father became an alcoholic recluse who would hardly ever see his son ( mostly due to his own depression ).

during this time, kano began to run with street gangs and gangsters. he rose in the ranks quickly, his brute strength, tacticians mind and borderline psychopathy a huge benefit to him when it came to dealing with other criminals.

at the age of 21, his father died of a heart attack. kano was upset by this but didn't let it get to him having been estranged from the old man for a while.in his early twenties he met sonya blade and jax briggs. despite being a known member of the black dragon clan; kano offered his services as an insider and mole and began feeding the special forces information on both the black dragon leaders and rival gangs. he also formed a romantic relationship with sonya.

ultimately, he was tricking them and had no real intention of selling the black dragon out. in order to propel himself further, kano used the special forces to rid of his enemies and in one final act of betrayal - revealed this to both them and most importantly the woman he'd convinced the hardest, sonya. killing her partner, the two went from lovers to sworn enemies.

around this time, kano's obsession with sonya began. in his late twenties and while being pursued by the special forces, an altercation with jax briggs saw kano lose his eye and face a near death experience. this event changed his life, his eye having now been transformed into the cybernetic eye he uses - he also experienced trauma from this event, however in his later age doesn't think of it as much.

kano has since been in and out of jail, capture, torture etc - he evades the forces that seek to bring him to justice while simultaneously serving only himself. the events of this blog are shaped both around this backstory and the events of the video games mixed together. at the age of fifty, kano is a mature mercenary running his own cartel. known fiercely as the black dragon and supplying weapons to those who will pay the most as if they're candy.

skills

laser eye || skilled with knives/guns/general weaponry || trained in martial arts / kickboxing || assassination techniques || close-quarters-combat || criminal-activity / connections.

[fatalled]

wi hajoon. 36. cis man. he/him. ┊┊ YOON KYUNGSEOK, better known as agent LOVESHOT has been with cerberus corp as an eo since 2012 and is LEVEL I. BEING IN A HOSTAGE SITUATION has gifted them SUPERNATURAL WEAPONS PROFICIENCY ( ARCHERY ), though NEEDING TO CREATE HIS OWN WEAPON & ARROWS  has also been noted. when they aren’t protecting the tri-state area, they are fond of (SLUTTING IT OUT) WINNING and are never seen without A GOLDEN CHAIN NECKLACE. civilians think they are BRILLIANT & CAPABLE, but some of the other agents see them as EGOTISTICAL & CONDESCENDING. cerberus corp should consider the fact that their last mission status was A COMPLETE SUCCESS when giving out the next one.

001.  GENERAL

name:  yoon kyungseok. nicknames:  n/a. age: thirty six. date of birth: 03/27/1987. zodiac: aries. place of birth  seoul, south korea. current residence: manhattan, nyc. gender: cis man. pronouns: he / him. sexuality: homosexual. occupation: level i agent.

faceclaim:  wi hajoon. height : 6ft. tattoos:  he has tattoos of an arrow on the outer side of both his pointer fingers. ( a few others that you'd just have to come and find out if you're so curious. ) piercings: double lobes. nipples. distinguishing features: dimples. scar on the underside of his chin that looks like a bullet hole.

positive traits: charming, a go-getter, strategic, capable under pressure, self-assured, a leader, doing what it takes to win. negative traits: ruthless, arrogant, believes he is always right, willing to cut losses, doing what it takes to win. likes: attention, success, art / sculpture, martial arts, films. dislikes: most people, being misrepresented, being ignored. fears:  being seen as weak. hobbies: slutting it out ; meditation ; movies ; training. he really doesn't do much else, being a hero is his entire personality. habits: talks over people ; bites his lip ; paces

002.  EXTRA ORDINARY

[ NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE. ]

( tw. gun violence )

as the son of a rich family, you have enemies that you've never met. you've never spoken to them, you've never crossed their paths. to you, they're just a stranger. and really, to them, so are you. the difference is that know who you are. they know you're the child of someone important. someone with money.

kyungseok thought it was a shooting. a fired employee coming back to the office with a few words and a handful of lead to leave behind. by the time he put it together, the barrel of the gun was jammed in his back and a mean voice told him to walk to the window. ( in his dreams, kyungseok is chased by voices: get your father on the phone. i don't want to hurt you but i will. no one move or i shoot him where he stands. I SAID NO ONE MOVE! )

three hours and kyungseok stood there. three hours and he watched the news vans roll out, armored cars and officers all holding aim, and a hostage negotiator shouting across the street. three hours of feeling the sweat dip down his back, of feeling so weak and helpless, of just standing there as this stranger waved the gun around. if only he could reach the lamp, if only he could grab something, if only he had a weapon! if only, if only, if only.

i don't want to die! i don't want to die! i don't want to die!

something was said, something ticked him off, some fuse snapped and the gun was shoved right there up under his chin and kyungseok swore he heard the click of the hammer against the barrel. he swore he heard the gunshot. he swore he died. he swore it. ( and he has the scar to prove it. )

but in his hand was an arrow made of ... something pink stabbed deep into the chest of the armed perpetrator.

he was still alive. still gloriously, utterly alive.

[ POWER. ]

supernatural weapon proficiency ( archery ) + soul-bound weapon.

kyungseok can make a large bow out of his own 'spirit' energy. the bow is generally the size of a long bow and pink. although he could warp it to various sizes, he's mostly comfortable with the large bow. along with this, he can create arrows out of the same 'spirit' energy.

along with this, he has supernaturally accurate aiming capabilities. he can hit any target that he can see. hitting a dime, through a loop, behind his back — it doesn't matter. he'll do all three. so long as he can see it, he can hit it. please try him, he loves to show off.

[ WEAKNESS. ]

kyungseok has to maintain calm in order to keep his bow stable and solid. if he begins to get agitated, freak out, or stresses then the bow will start to deteriorate. if he is too stressed, he can't make anything at all. he practices meditation and martial arts in order to increase his abilities to be calm and handle stress but there is only so far he can push the limit.

if he is too exhausted and unable to focus, the bow will crumble.

the arrows have a limited number. once he hits the limit that he can passively create then he has to start borrowing from himself. he can convert parts of himself into energy if he needs to. for example, a particularly difficult mission required him to sacrifice his hearing in order to create an arrow. he managed to heal somewhat but he only regained partial hearing.

the more energy he expends, the more he has to sacrifice.

[ CERBERUS CORP. ]

after his powers manifested, his parents insisted he join cerberus corp. he put them off as long as he could as he learned and developed his power on his own. the actual reasoning behind kyungseok's joining is to try and repair their perception of their reputation concerning cerberus corp.

he shot up the ranks quickly. he doesn't seem particularly interested in their success, only his own.

he is really good in front of the camera and likes the attention. being a hero is truly what he was made to be. what more could he want? right?

[ CODENAME. ]

loveshot. he gets the name loveshot because the bow is pink. it was a joke when he threw out the equally joke of a name, hotshot. loveshot, unfortunately, won out in the end. ironically, hotshot is used as a shipping name between himself and agent hades.

003.  HEADCANONS.

he has a strained relationship with his brother, taejoon.

he has an interest in the arts. he enjoys sculpting and modeling for artists. it never went beyond a hobby but it gives him a good tactile sense in order to connect himself and calm his emotions. he also occasionally models for artists.

film buff, he loves movies. he had the small dream in the back of his mind to become an actor. it never went beyond a dream. he particularly loves fantasy, psychological thrillers, and crime films.

a shameless flirt, he's constantly seeing how long that button can hold those pants together.

he joined cerberus in 2012 but he wasn't made a level i agent until 2015. he is considered one of their best agents due to his track record of continued success.

he practices taekwondo as a means of control and meditation for a means of calm.

while some compare him to eros, the god of love — kyungseok feels he's more akin to apollo, the god of light and a supreme archer himself. as he puts it: "eros fucked around and got stabbed by his own arrow. as if i'd do anything that stupid."

004. CONNECTIONS.

FIND HIS ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS HERE.

fellow level i's — kyungseok is a team player ( most of the time. ) he would want to be, if not friends, at least fairly acquainted with the level i's. ( but bring the friction. all kinds. )

enemies! — kyungseok is ruthless out on the field and if you get in his way then he will put you in your place. he sees one option and that is success. there is no plan b, there is no 'at least we tried'. we win. at all cost.

friends! — he loves to party, he's a flirt, and he likes to enjoy himself. he's akin to a god, what's better than this? too many friends, stop being nice to him.

[policemanofprincesspark]

I wonder if larries will drop the Brett theory when Freddie grows up and is nowhere near as tall as Brett and Austin (who are both over 6ft 2). Already to me he looks smallish for his age compared to how Ernest Deakin looked at the same age and other tall kids like Prince George. Austin aged 10 was almost as tall as Tammi.

I don't know why they're so stuck on the father being Brett. Like, I get it; it makes everything fall into place. It allows for F to have a known father who is in his life. If we start theorizing that the father is someone unknown, it means F probably doesn't have his father in his life at all (unless his real father is secretly in his life and is the real one visiting F in LA every month rather than Louis, which is entirely possible).

Those people are actually crazy, and they are the entire reason why no one looks into babygate anymore. They'll pull up two pictures of F where he looks exactly the same and say with a straight face, "That looks like two different boys!", and they always try to compare pictures of F to pictures of Brett because they both have hooded blue eyes and arched eyebrows (yet their respective noses and lips look completely different). Plus, like I said, just look at Austin and then look at F lol.

F looks identical to Louis, and that's objective. That still doesn't make Louis the father, so I don't know why larries are so afraid to admit it to themselves. I mean, they already admit it whenever they claim F is being photoshopped to look like Louis lol. They all know deep down.

[therinde-dreams]

How big IS Bichen, really? Bonus: Baxia

tl;dr Bichen is LUDICROUSLY huge, probably something to the tune of 5.5kg/12lb and towards the upper end of 1.6m/5′3 to 1.83m/6′0 - taller than MXY!WWX. Baxia would be something to the tune of 79cm/31″, but could plausibly be larger.

So Bichen is explicitly stated to:

1) Be carried on LWJ’s back (Novel, Chapter 14)

2) Be too heavy for non-cultivators to wield (Novel, Chapter 7)

On sword weight, generally:

Importantly: it is too heavy for a non-cultivator to wield, not pick up.

Because wield vs pick up are two very different definitions. I can pick up a 1.4kg/3.1lb German messer sword with no problem. Can I wield that thing? Not one-handed like it was meant to be, with my scrawny arms.

The upper end of usable weight for a regular human sword or polearm is around the 4.5kg/10lb mark, and I am pretty sure that's really only wield-able by someone who's already in decent shape, trained, and using it with both hands. 

It doesn't sound like much, but imagine swinging that much weight from one end of a 6ft/1.83m long barbell - since most of these weapons were 6ft /1.83m or longer - repeatedly, with enough agility and speed to not die in combat. Or better still - holding it above your head for a couple of minutes in a ready/guarding position.

Heavier swords and polearms did exist - for ceremonial purposes. They're deliberately designed to be ungodly huge and impressive, not for practical, combat use.

A sword that's too heavy for a non-cultivator to wield could just be something that's like, 5.5kg/12lb. Too heavy for them to pick up would be... look I'm scrawny as hell, I’m not athletic and I have joint problems, but using both hands, I can pick up at least 16kg/35lb no problem, probably north of that if I tried.

For a sword to be heavier than what an active non-cultivator can even pick up, so we’re talking north of 20kg/44lb, it would have to be made of depleted uranium along with whatever xianxia magic is going on with the sword. But too heavy for a non-cultivator to wield is entirely reasonable.

On cultivator swords:

I figure most cultivators would wield swords that are at the larger end of sensible to begin with, a little longer and heavier than they should be for the double-edged jian they’re shown using (extra cutting/penetration power in their favour! And they have the strength to negate the extra weight making it less agile and more tiring!). Say, 80cm/31″ and 0.9kg/2lb, for the average cultivator. 

This would be well within “strap it to your hip and call it a day” length - and frankly strapping it to your back is not a great idea unless you absolutely cannot find a better way to carry that kind of size and you’re sure you don’t need it quickly, because there’s - not really a good way to unsheathe it as quickly if you do. Frankly I don’t think this was really done historically unless you were like, transporting gear, and didn’t expect to be attacked at that moment - even the famous giant-ass Zwëihanders weren’t back-strapped into battle situations.

On  Bichen specifically:

Now consider how big a sword it has to be that LWJ, 1.88m/6′2 tree, goes “... nope, I can’t possibly hip-strap this” and straps it to his back.

Supposedly, irl jian got up to 1.6m/5'3, though this wasn’t very common. The average height of a Chinese man born in 1810 - the earliest date with data - is 1.66m/5'5, and this stayed pretty consistent for a long time, which means the 1.6m/5'3 jian was most likely constructed with a roughly 1.66m/5'5 wielder in mind.

So according to the historical record, LWJ could wield a 1.6m/5′3 sword and be within the bounds of what was done historically.

Or, if he got it when he was at or nearing adult height, our boi could decide to leverage his probable future height and strength into wielding an obnoxiously huge sword for maximum possible reach and stopping power. 

Bluntly - Bichen could easily be 1.83m/6′0 and still make complete sense from a historical perspective - an exceptionally large sword made for an exceptionally tall and physically powerful individual.

And from a weight perspective? Let’s compare a hypothetical 1.83m/6′0, 5.5kg/12lb double-edged jian to a cousin, size-wise:

The Zwëihander, which ranged from between 1.4m-1.8m/4′7-5′11, and something to the tune of 2.5kg-4kg/5.5lb-8.8lb. Bichen would actually be heavier than its hypothetical German counterpart, which is saying something, because at those lengths the Zwëihanders have MASSIVE crossguards and are often intended to be half-sworded - you grabbed the blade about halfway up to better control the point and say, drive it into a joint in the armour.

I would compare it to the odachi, but 1) that’s a single-edged blade, and I don’t know enough to say if the weight will differ 2) I cannot find any solid info for how much a 1.8m long odachi would weigh. Claymores - yep, ditto. I can’t dig up info quickly enough.

tl;dr Bichen is probably 1.83m/6′0 and north of 5.5kg/12lb - it’s taller than MXY!WWX and weighs more than a small dog. No wonder he has to back-strap it.

Now, remember that incense burner scene? Yeah, now remember that Bichen is quite likely as tall as WWX is.

---

Bonus: Baxia!

On a side note, the art of Baxia in the MDZS official artbook looks like it's based off the 大刀 da dao, lit. Big Saber. Yes, very creative naming. The da dao is also surprisingly short, going off the specimen in the British Imperial War Museum which is a grand total of 79cm/31″, but given that these are 1) cultivators 2) NMJ 'actual ox' rather than relatively short interwar-period Chinese (when this originated), just like... add 15cm/6″ or something to the length I guess if you want.

[thenihtgenga]

So, I was on holiday in Florida from the 9th-23rd of July. I just realised I totally forgot to post any of my holiday photos so... yep. Doing that now. Unfortunately my phone kind of broke half way through so I wasn't able to take photos for a bunch of stuff I would have loved to do so, but here! Florida Images!

One of the first places we visited was the Canaveral Space Center, where we saw Many Rockets And Cool Space Things.

Including the actual control room for the Apollo missions!

We also saw many gators throughout our trip, including: Biggest Gator! (outside a gator farm near Christmas)

Regular Gator! (on an airboat tour from Lone Cabbage Fish camp)

Baby Gator! (on the same tour)

Drain Gator! (Went for a walk at Paine's Prarie. There was a culvert under the path, and a gator was chilling in every pipe outlet)

And Fried Gator! (Lunch at Lone Cabbage. Left- right: gator basket, boneless buffalo wings, catfish basket)

Gators weren't the only wildlife we saw though- there was also Toilet Frog- the first (well, second, but it was meant to be first- we had an unplanned overnight stay in Tampa on night 1 because of a problem with the car rental) place we stayed at was a campsite with a composting toilet and shower block, in cubicles made from pallets lined with saw palmetto leaves. Frogs loved hanging out in there. The shower cubicle was more popular for obvious reasons, but for equally obvious reasons I didn't take my phone with me when I went for a shower. Look at this little guy though! So cute!

These lizards are anoles. The brown ones are invasive, the green ones are native. Both are adorable, and I spent Way Too Long trying to get a photo of one displaying its dewlap.

They're common as muck all over Florida so I probably looked like an absolute tit to the locals, but whatever. Even common wildlife is special, and it's not like they're common round where I'm from, so... Anyway, I got a photo of that guy in Fort Christmas Historical park. Merry Christmas.

Another common as muck piece of wildlife that I was really hoping to see was the birds- I've been really fond of cardinals and grackles for a long time, and I actually got to see them, yay!

(Blurry Cardinal found in Gainesville) To put this into perspective, this is like someone visiting the UK and getting excited to see, like... a jackdaw or a sparrow. But whatever, if you don't think Birds Are Cool, screw you.

Speaking of wildlife, we visited Blue Springs (And Silver Springs, but I got no photos there. Which is a shame because godsdamn that place was beautiful), where I saw: Vultures! (another really common bird in Florida, we saw them all over the place, but not generally in such large groups)

Terrapins!

More gators! (lots of gator photos already and I didn't get a good picture of this one, so I'mma skip it)

Armoured Dildos!

Many fish, including these gar! (not sure exactly what species these ones are, but I think they're either Florida or longnose gar. Both species were present in the spring, as well as catfish and plenty of other species.)

There was also plenty of insect life present, such as this beautiful (and freakin' huge) dragonfly that stopped to rest next to us for a minute or two while we ate lunch.

And here's a photo of the area we swam in.

Blue Springs has the spring pool and a section of river available for swimming, then there's a floating barricade, downstream of which swimming is forbidden as it's kept as a conservation area for manattee. Which don't understand what a barricade is and apparently Do Not Care about people, because one swam up into the spring pool. I still can't believe I got to swim with a manattee! Of course I tried to maintain a respectful distance from it (I tried to keep around 12ft away, though this did go down to about 6ft at one point when it started swimming towards me) but thanks to the water diffraction it looked like it was so close I could reach out and touch it. No photos alas, because phones and water Do Not Mix, though I did get some manattee photos a few days later!

This was at the manattee observation deck on Merritt Island National Wildlife Refuge, where we saw somewhere around 27-30 manattees. Seriously, there were so many manattees.

I also saw a snake in those rocks in the foreground. Couldn't identify the species alas, as I only saw part of its body between two rocks- I actually thought it was a discarded piece of black pipe at first, until it slithered away!

Going from the natural to the technological, that evening we had an excellent dinner at the Old Florida Bar And Grill, from the deck of which we watched a space launch! The photos don't do it justice, it was incredible.

Musk is a prick and fuck capitalism taking over the space industry, but... all that aside, this was inspiring. It's not just SpaceX's achievement, it's humanity's.

And finally, here's a nice bit of wall art I found while exploring Railroad Square Art District in Tallahassee

And a fishy mailbox from the same area

And alas, that's it! There was so much more stuff that I would have loved to take photos of, but alas, when your camera's borked and literally Can Not Save The Pictures Any More, there's not much you can do. Ah well, still have the memories, at least.

[witch-hazels-musings]

I'll confess something super embarrassing but... At the same time it makes me happy. One day I looked for genshin boys' heights. I love Diluc and Childe, both of them are super tall so I put a sticker on my wall to compare my height. The results?

1) they're way too tall, to the point my neck would hurt trying to look at them in their pretty faces and I'm not thaaat short but still is like they're one head and a half taller than me.

2) It makes my size kink happy.

3) kissing them can be difficult BUT I'll accept the challenge.

PD: I never took off the sticker 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t think people fully understand how tall these characters are — like Childe, Zhongli, Kaeya, and Diluc are all around 6ft and like — I’m 5’4” … they’d need to LIFT ME UP to get anywhere near them and like … *dead*

( also, just so you know Childe’s delusion form is 14ft .. like 14FT?! )

[lladyariall]

*Ms. Honeybunny winking at Sam* ;) ;) ;)

*jealous lagomorph boyfriend steps in* you should really get that eye checked out! ^-^*

--------

Look at that ANGRY little face Max makes, right before putting on a fake smile! Holy shit- he's so pissed off about Sam and Ms. Homeybunny flirting that it I'm crying from laughing too hard to even write this blog x'D

Nah, I'm good, though. Once again, this is just my silly opinion blog about this particular interaction between these three and comment if you have any opinions to share too! :) please enjoy the characters and comics regardless of my ideas. Love y'all😘

--------

To say the least, we all know Max is obviously in love with Sam throughout thee entire t.v. and video game series; possibly the comics, but we'll get inside of that little history later. The main focus of how Max protrays his feelings towards his best friend and police partner, which is quite open in a rare way, Steve Purcell places out their relationship to be after all they've been together and will be when they die. It's a heart wrenching, violent story of pure friendship, and/or.. maybe more?

We're going to dig into that right now, beginning with Sam's jelly rabbit Max behavior.

When we take a look at this scene, Max only has a smile on his face to carry up an "innocent act" for the sake of his companion and this lady's (bleh) reassurance. He doesn't want to actually scare off both his colleagues to create a giant dilemma of drama and end up on being Sam's quiet side. So, the lagomorph decides not to give into his natural instinct to rip her wig off. Instead, he wiggles out his little bunny charm to do what he can to come between on Ms. Honeybunny's intentions on his best friend.

Meaning, his goal is to remain on Sam's good light so he doesn't have his canine friend to look down on him when he would have scared someone off who clearly didn't do anything wrong; in society's eye, anyhow.

The lagomorph just wanted to claim his terrority because that's HIS 6ft talking dog! He has to tear down the competition then and there, baby. Or else they're gone for life and that's never going to happen in Max's life!

Oh no, and that's why this scene is so interesting even more. Because we also get a small sequel to their, ahem, lady competition for Sam.

It's super clear how gayly in love Max is with Sam in the t.v. series and the doggo scoundrel is super aware of what his best friend is feeling. Sam is a dog with super intelligent detective skills to sense if there's something going on, especially if its coming from Max, he is on the case to solve his mysterious canine instinct itch! with the bond of them they've always shared since they were merely babies.

But this scene just proves how much of a sassy girlfriend this little lagomorph can truly be, and I love it!

He just downright called her a whore in a kid friendly manor so the censors don't kick their asses off the program too soon (even though, they did last one season) and being told, "don't worry, miss. A boat will be by to pick you up, and that means sailors! Yup, you'll get picked up, alright." ... is clearly not friendly!

That rabbit knew what he was doing. His jealously became a perfect revenge to tell her to stop her shit on them, and try it on someone else. It's classically performed here and I applaud for Max, once i was done watching this episode. Ms. Honeybunny may or may not have received the hint that they're not available, but Max has tried making it clear as day, twice now. He knows Sam doesn't get a clue; so, all that matters is that SHE understands the message:

"Sam is mine, don't flirt with me or him, go make out with a sailor, blah blah blah."

In Max's terms to this scene, he nailed it perfectly! So I believe the whole reason Sam didn't even try to say a word to her is because he clearly knew better than to try and to help Ms. Honeybunny when Max OBVIOUSLY showed no interest; he decided to take the smart choice and go to Team Max's side for silent support. And probably so he wouldn't die, either.

Later on, Sam finally decides to say something:

Sam: "you crack me up little buddy."

Max: "whatever."

...

Uh.. that doesn't help, Sam!

Max probably dissed off Sam like that is because he knew he won, but he hadn't truly received the main prize: having Sam understand he belongs to only Max. His big hound still doesn't get the picture between two love rivals. Sam just doesn't realize Max still remembers when he and Ms. Honeybunny batted-eyes with each other til his REAL bunny came into the picture. His feelings must have been a little upset when he saw the lady appear again, after finding her on the boat and dressed as Geek. She was unmasked by Sam and Max's joke about calling for help on the walkie talkie was.. a little TOO panicked to me.

Like he was in a nightmare.

Like if Max saw them flirt or even remotely get near each other again, Sam would definitely have to call help from a rescue team away from Max's rage. Max knows some shark sword fighting skills to teach them both a lesson about Max being possessive as Hell, and Sam needs to wear a collar with the lagomorph's name on it. (Also, they're in the middle of the ocean. I'm pretty sure Max would use a shark as a sword somehow.)

In conclusion, this was still a fun filling jealous rival we got to see come out towards Sam and Max reacting to it. It was perfect, but I do personally wish we could have seen a jealous Sam in the series. She's just a slut and Max knew it from the start. Even if he didn't, that wouldn't change anything on how Max handled it. He stayed calm for Sam, tried to forget about Ms. Honeybunny during the rest of their mission, and she just came back out of nowhere! She keeps ruining everything by my getting the hint that Max does not care HOW she goes away- she needs to leave for good.

Max will never let anyone try to split their Freelance work and it certainly would not be their last encounter with other flirts, or crazy infatuations (*coughs* momma bosco). Max cooperated well and acted more maturely in an adult manner than he normally would be in. Like, he'd probably crush her skull on the desk or go to Geek about a sexual harassment groping from Ms. Honeybunny, so it'll get her fired.

And that's what's crazy bout all these things is Max is always up for any challenge out there. Violence, poker, best shooter, best at taking shots, the list goes on. But the emotionally ones are always backing him up in a corner to run away from and hide. Max doesnt like the emotional encounters that other people bring and it's not Sam&Max world quality.

In truth, Max may might as well be possessive, but Sam is pretty crazy about him too. It only shows their love for each other more, and I'd say that it'd be awesome if they could only be a little more open with each other. It's just super rare for Max to want to be able to share what he desires from Sam, or what's going on when someone tries to steal Sam away like Ms. Honeybunny would have done.

Sam and Max are going to have to admit more open feelings and fluff if they ever reboot the show. Seriously. It'd be a perfect opportunity to see their love grow and see more of Steve Purcell's humor again.

[notwxrriors]

Cute mental image I just got from something that popped up on my FB feed Otto and Aws have a baby and Otto's been out getting groceries or somethin and he gets home, walks into the living room and the first thing he sees is his husband laying on the couch with their baby laying on his chest and they're both asleep. lanky 6-foot whatever Awsten with their tiny lil newborn baby laying on his chest. my heart

fiRST OF ALL, AWS IS NOT 6 FOOT ANYTHING, HES LIKE 5'9,,,HIS PROPAGANDA HAS BEEN GETTING TO U,,, THE. ONLY PERSON IN THAT BAND WHO'S 6FT IS GEOFF AND EVEN THEN ITS BARELY, 

BUT ANYWAY this is mad cute,,, ik ur not supposed to sleep w newborns bc u cld Injure,, but this is mad cute. otto's super quiet as he sneaks to the kitchen to set the groceries down and not wake them, coming back to sit near them n just watch them for awhile. he loves his partner and their baby so much 😭

[musicalmelody001]

So, like, back on that crutches thing nobody cared about...

It's been a while. It's the end of the 4th week, and those estimated 2-3 weeks to heal were a LIE. My foot still hurts pretty much on the same level as it did on the third day- a fuck ton better than the first, but still an issue walking. Granted, I only used the crutches for 6 days before I got tired of using my entire lunch break walking TO the bathroom. So, like. Still hurts. Except, oh yeah. Some fun stuff. Someone hit my car the second week, and I walked without my crutches to the nearest store (two city major intersections) in heavy-ass rain to get some ducttape to put back together the pieces of my bumper that I had JUST replaced out-of-pocket. I wasn't gonna buy a new fucking bumper less than a month after getting this one. Fuck that. Then, THIS WEEK. This week started off with a bang if that bang is a gun that shoots you in the face with bullets that explode into fireworks that spell "Fuck You".

Monday, I woke up super late and instead of arriving 30min early as I prefer, I showed up 6 minutes late. Which is TECHNICALLY a fireable offense. Later, my co-worker asked me to drive her to her friend's house after work. Her car was out of comission and would otherwise walk home - 13ish miles. So I drove her to the opposite edge of the city, the long way around because of course the gps is messing up. I finally get her to her friend's house, and turn on the gps to head home. It's about 40 minutes since we left work, but GPS says 22min to home with light traffic. Sounds good. Wanna eat some ice cream. Monday was expected to be -and WAS- the worst/bussiest/most aggrivating day of the quarter, possibly TWO quarters. All the fucking stars alligned for the day from hell for the whole department for eight solid hours.

Anywhoo, heading onto the only highway for miles -because we're inthe middle of nowhere and there's just green everywhere outside of that one main street a mile back that had a neighborhood and like three businesses, and about a mile or so down the road I notice a bunch of heat in the cabin. Coming from the air vents. And a slight smoke smell. While the ac/heater was completely off. I take the upcoming exit, and pull over in a church parkinglot that suddely shows up amongst the freaking endless trees. Turm off the car. Get outside. Pop the hood. A WALL of heat blasts me, and I feel it as I hover my hand over the engine. Okay, no big deal, I'll let it cool. But, I'm out of gas. Might have trouble getting home.

Remembering the oil leak from last month, I check the dipstick. Looks dry, might be out of oil too. I pull out my phone to google the nearest gas station. It just barely see the words "3.4 miles", then my phone fucking shuts off on me, and it's useless now. Close the hood, lock the car. I walk over to the church. Lights off, doors locked. Parking lot empty. I walk around the side and see a few cars. I walk to another door. Locked. Dark inside. But there's an intercom on the side. I assume the people there must be employees working on something durring the week, like at the church I used to go to as a kid. I push the button and offer a hesitant "Hello?" No response. Great. I turn around and take a few steps away from the door, try to get my phone to turn back on. Not responding. After a minute or two I hear a click behind me. A big, burly dark-skinned dude (for reference for my comparison, my family are all around 6ft and a nice medium tan, except me, 5'3" and whiter than printing paper) has the (completely clear glass) door open the tiniest little crack and just looks at me, "Can I help you?"

"My car broke down, is there a gas station near here?" I ask. He gestures down the road blocked by trees, "That way," and closes the door.

I stare out to the road for a bit. That was... So... Not what I was expecting. Or that helpful, really. So I head back to my car, grab the 1gal gas tank in my trunk, and inspect my windows after noticing the broken glass on the ground. Not from my car, but it still does not instill confidence. I pull out the pepper spray from my purse and have it casually resting in my hand, locked, the loop around my wrist. I take my flashlight from my glove box and put it in my purse, just in case. It's hot now, but I drape my cardigan across my sounder, and start heading down the road.

And down, and down. Down a steep hill, my ankle starts screaming as I loose sight of the church between the trees, and I keep going. I pass the higjeay, go underneath it and keep walking in the same direction. And keep walking. Pass a pair of 2ft wooden crosses sticking out of the grass on the side of the road, with fresh flowers, and a small child's toy next to one of them. I feel a sudden chill. I keep walking. Further, I cross a road and keep going, no cars, no buildings, but also no trees now. Just grass. I keep going. The hill gets steeper, I see what MIGHT be the corner of a gas station on the horison, on the second peak ahead. I l

Keep walking, and the hill reaches small flat section before sloping back up. More grass, but now more trees. I see the edge of a biking trail in the distance to my right. Assuming that means a freaking TOWN, I keep going. Up more. Some dilapidated houses that may or may not still be in residence. An empty box of diapers in the middle of the road, that I carefully approach, looking both ways down the empty road, and check for animals before moving it to the side and off the road, placing it by a cinderblock nearby so it doesn't blow back into the road and cause an accident, hopefully. I keep walking. I reach some train tracks and stand there for three minutes, completely confused as to WHAT THE FUCK these road markings are supposed to mean.

The sun is setting and I can see the maybe-gas station not too far away, so I take a picture and keep walking. My ankle REALLY hurts. I finally make it to the gas station, the sun is lower, and I go inside. I pre-pay for a gallon of gas, and an item on the recipt I did not get. I ask and am told it is a fee for using a card, I don't believe him but don't care anymore. I want to go home. I'm told a pump. The pump does not dispense gas. I try again. No response. The screen says "see cashieer inside to pay". I head inside. I say it doesn't work. Clerk says it does. I confirm the number, and go back outside. I try it again. No dice. I hit the button a bit harder, pull the lever. Nothing. I roll my eyes again. Go back inside. Am told that I am not doing it right, that I need to press the button first. Go back outside, try three more times. Go back inside. Ignored. Go back outside, paranoid now that cars are starting to arrive that maybe it will suddenly work, and someone else will get the gas. I try again. Nope. I see someone walk up from behind me in my peripheral, and I think they try to ask me for change, but I ended up screaming frustratedly at the same exact time so they leave awkwardly.

I try AGAIN. Nope. No gas. Not flowing. I go back inside. The clerk is glaring like he never wants to see me again. I say it doesn't work. He says I already got the gas. "Bull shit! It hasn't done a fucking thing!" He goes outside with me to the pump, yelling at me, hits the side of the pump, and it starts working. What the fuck. Who gives a fuck, I'm so done. I get my gallon of overpriced gas, and start to walk away as I realize I forgot the oil. I'm not going back inside. I see a small convience-like store a block or two down. Walk to it. Am asked multiple times for change and/or cash. Repeately advise that I do not have any.

I get inside, and honest the food they're selling is probably SO sketchy but I'm starved. I skipped breakfast AND lunch, so at the moment it smells so good. I just want to get home and eat. But I only have a few dollars in my account, except for the money for my car payment that I'm expecting to go through any day now. I find some oil, more than I wanted to spend, and head back to the car. It's mega dark now. No stars. Just dark. There's a few street lights here by the stores, so I continue. Reply a few more times that I do not have cash to give.

I make it to the sidewalk where majority of my journey resided, and continue down the street. I put on my cardigan. Now I'm going uphill, and my ankle is asking how I want to die, because it's screaming. I don't know how long it's been. But it's dark and it's SURELY not 6pm amymore. When I reach the intersection back in the place with no trees, a car I had seen doing past me earlier had turned around, and pulled over. No cross-traffic. Sitting at a stop sign in my path. Inside the extra-long sleves of my cardigan, I palm my pepper-spray, and leave my thumb resting lightly on the safety lock. I stop about six or seven feet away from the stop-sign, hesitating. The passenger window rolls down a bit, but I can't see who's inside. "You need a ride?"

I hope that the person is well-meaning, and decline, saying I'm almost to my car. He asks if I'm sure, and after two more refusals he drives off. I continue.

A bit further, another car comes. They're heading the same way, but on the empty road they slow down, rolling down a window to shot accross the three uninhabited lanes, and ask if I need a ride. I decline once again, wishing that I didn't have to walk anymore but also paranoid once the sun sets, and continue walking. A bit later they slow down again, suggesting I get inside. I say I'm fine. I walk further to see they'd driven foreward then turned around, this time having opened the side door. I avoid eye-contact and walk a bit faster. I don't see them again. I pass the crosses and feel a shiver down my spine as my eyes tear up. I hurriedly walk away and the feeling passes.

I reach the highway and my eyesight is blurring. I'm exhausted and my balance is off, repeatedly stopping to steady myself to keep from falling onto the grass or into the road. I reach the last peak, and the lights stop. I'm walking on the sidewalk on the left side of the road now, and grab my flashlight, illuminating the way in front of me mostly to be visible to oncoming traffic as I cross an unmarked intersection.

Finally. In the distance. The church. The parking lot. My car that I left unattended for hours, most likely. I approach, checking again for broken windows and find none. The wind is strong and almost knocking me over. I unlock the car and put my things inside, sans the pepper spray, flashlight, and gas. Closing the door, pop my gas flap and begin the slow process of figuring out how the fuck to put the gas in my car with five pieces of plastic that combine to make a nozzle, and no instructions. Eventually the can is empty, and I put it back in the trunk. Now the oil. Grab the oil from inside, loop the pepper spray around my wrist, and turn on the flashlight to pop the hood. There's STILL residual heat coming from the engine. I put the hood all the way up and open the screw-top thing for the oil. No funnel, just gotta pour carefully. Empty the whole quart, hope it's enough to get home safe. Sudden gust of wind, the hood falls on me. Pissed off, I open it back up and curse, putting the screw-top thing back in place. Close the empty bottle of oil and throw it in the cab. I'm so done. Get back in my car. Almost out of gas. Drive down to the shitty gas station and get more gas, after an unpleasant encounter with the clerk. Hope that three gallons is enough to get home because now I'm, like, a dollar short for that car payment. Vaugely hoping that it'll wait until midnight when I get paid. Get back on the highway, phone plugged in and gps open. A few miles down, the cab is hot again. Ac/heat still off. Obviously it wasn't just the oil. I crack the windows to get rid of the heat and smoke smell. Stop at an autozone, they're about to close. I get some engine coolant that my car says it's out of. REALLY short for that car payment now. Sit outside as the nice autozone worker looks at my car and shows me where to put the coolant, and instructs me to wait AT LEAST an hour and a half after turning off the car before adding it. Tells me that it might not be what is causing the heat and smoke smell, though, just help with the overheating engine. I sit on the curb looking at my car with the hood up as the nice autozone people (who know me -and my car year make & model- by sight when I walk in the store these days. Honestly, after the sixth trip in Febuary, I got a rewards card because why the fuck not) close up for the night around me. One on them comes up to me and asks if I'm waiting to add the coolant. I honestly reply that I'm just debating drinking the coolant instead. I feel bad when he looks a bit upset. He's always so nice. I get up, decide I might as well go home and add the coolant in the morning. Head home following the gps. Drive for fifteen minutes before I notice I'm passing the SAME AUTOZONE and heading the opposite direction this time. Am pissed and woreed about gas. Finally get home, leave my shit in the car, and head inside. Check my phone. It's fucking 11. I'm so fucking done. My ankle fucking hurts. My car's still fucked up and I'm still broke. I check my bank account and see the car payment hasn't gone through yet. Hopefully it'll wait until tomorrow when I get paid. Force myself to eat a few bites of food becore going to bed.

In the morning I wake up early. Check my account, and sometime between when I got home and when I got paid, my car payment bounced. $25 return fee. Fml. Almost get into a wreck. Car's still blowing hot air with a hint of smoke. I'm late for work somehow. Life sucks. I tell my coworker I don't want to drive her there again. She gets pissed. My ankle throbs. This is my week.

So, like. Hope this was entertaining? Idk. Half wanted to vent, half wanting to see if anyone else knows WHAT THE FUCK those street markings are supposed to mean. They're too uniform to not be deliberate!