#They're at least not cis and you can't tell me otherwise

[wof-reworked]

ok I can't stop thinking about the jade winglet, here's my gender hcs for all of them

Moonwatcher - she/they (nonbinary)

I feel like this is fun bc rn (in canon) her gender is just "anxiety" but like,,, one day in the future she gets to actually play around with it

like she captures a very specific type of person I've met who you go "oh I mean I know she's gay but she's probably cis..." and then you have like one real convo and find out they're like not only nonbinary but better at it then you

I think she should get to be butch when she's older. I think she deserves being a) massive compared to her two twink boyfriends and b) gnc as shit

Kinkajou- any/all (genderfluid +transfem)

Kinkajou strikes me as being like. totally ambivalent to gender. Kinkajou changes her pronouns based on how the fruit he ate for breakfast makes him feel. Kinkajou is better than you

I think she was like staunchly using she/her for a while bc it just felt right and like changes pronouns situationally- Rainwing village is she/her, Jade Academy is any/all, close friends it varies, etc etc

Qibli- he/they (transmasc)

Qibli's just always kind of known who he is, and has been like. pretty contentedly in his corner for a while. I think it's like- a pillar of stability for him of like "at least I know I'm (x)"

Proximity to Moonwatcher puts the they/them in there bc I think it's nice when ppl get more comfortable so they start branching out a lil bit :> Qibli has like. guy who says "he/they" because he doesn't mind they/them and wants his friends to feel supported y'know

Winter- he/him (cis + gnc)

Look I feel bad making him one of like. two cis ppl at JMA but like I think it's funny if he's cis but inflicts a status effect of gender envy on every trans person in his proximity

guy who does makeup flawlessly because "it's fun" and decimates your sense of identity as you wonder why the fuck god gave these gifts to a man

extra funny for the fact that as a dragonet he gets offended by the implication he's pretty. he gets over it eventually I think

Turtle- she/her or he/she/they (transwoman/trans)

See here. Otherwise I think she's like trans and this could go in like. any fucking direction ngl

transmasc turtle??? hell yeah !!! transfem turtle??? hell yeah !!! gender is whatever Turtle has going on and god knows if she knows it

last egg to crack bc Turtle is immune to self reflection that isn't anxiety and self loathing

"Haha everyone hates how other people refer to them and their gender what do you mean? :)" (entire jade winglet: cringing with worry)

Umber- he/him (cis)

cis and a lil insecure about it but like. he's just nice :)

he's like experimented with pronouns and gender and found none of them really stuck so like. cis+. cis (extended dlc). you know what I mean I hope

gonna be honest I'm lost for him bc I genuinely forget he was there bc he peaced out so fast. justice for my boy I want to know more !!!!!

I could be persuaded for transman Umber ngl,,, it tempts me,,,,,,

Peril- she/her (trans woman)

On one hand I'm torn bc I think it almost doesn't make sense for her backstory BUT ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of Scarlet being supportive of Peril's identity and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE is hysterical to me

though actually if we wanna get sad,,,, that 100% could be a manipulation tactic of Scarlet. "see I love you I even accept you" etc etc. now I just feel bad man

Peril's also in the same camp of Qibli of knowing this abt herself since she could think and being happy in it. She knows what she's about

BONUS:

Carnelian- she/they/he (transmasc)

Look butch can be a gender and sometimes you're a mean butch skywing idk what to tell you

wish she stayed alive bc her and Moon could've been legendary together. girl who will kill for you vs girl who desperately wants you to do anything else please we talked about this you can't solve your problems with murder

I think Carnelian's true gender is Skywing Patriot and idk how to put that in hc form but this is as best I've got

[lucienne-thee-librarian]

Okay but also because I'm a pedantic bitch...in relation to that post I just reblogged explaining part of gay-on-gay bigotry...what if some people are just assholes who happen to be gay, or bi or trans? And they're all for oppression or just plain cruelty as long as it's aimed at other people? Like that's also something to consider.

I don't actually think, any longer, that "internalized self-hate projected outward and also suppressed envy for someone who's doing and being all the things you were convinced into not allowing yourself" is...all there is to this phenonemon. And I wish we'd stop fixating on that quite so much just because we want to be frankly, nicer than some of these people have ever deserved. It's always more satisfying on some level, to imagine your enemies as Tortured deep inside (whether it's because you feel a bit malicious or you just want to believe that there's a way to reach out and heal them with kindness.) than to admit that Sometimes They're Just a Shithead.

Now, do I think that complex can be a big part of it? Oh yeah. And of COURSE, different people have different motivations in different amounts and yadda yadda yadda. No group of people, ethnic, gender, political or otherwise is a Monolith. (For one thing, when it comes to these Pick-Me Gay/Trans pundits and Influencers, money and clout should never be left out as an explanation. Just saying.) But that's the point, isn't it? Any ONE explanation can't explain them all completely.

Tbh, I think we need to consider some people are just bullies who happened to be born not cis or straight. And even if they were bullied at one point for their identity, they learned absolutely nothing from the experience except Don't Be On the Social Reject Side. So they moved their thinking just enough that "woman who likes women" "man who likes men" "I just happened o want to be a woman instead, or a man instead despite how I was born" could be put in the Safe category and they fight for that. Everyone else though, is still fair game and even a fair target. Some people don't just want power to escape oppression and live their lives in peace, they WANT to BE the ones oppressing. Like, do we ACTUALLY understand that LGBT people are humans too and that that includes the bad side?

It tracks a lot better too, when you consider that a lot of people like the masc4masc gays are openly racist and fatphobic. "No fems" Yes but also "No fats. No Asians." Christ, I could think of countless examples of white thin (and sometimes but not necessary cis) queer people doing that sort of thing. I'm sure y'all can too. This idea of some poor lost soul Tormented by Self Hate and Envy of the Freedom of Others doesn't do shit to explain that. Like, even if the two things coexist and they can, it doesn't explain that part.

I honestly just think the uglier but more accurate truth is that lot of queer people aren't all Hashtag Gay or Trans Rights or aren't Liberal out of any sense of justice AT ALL but only self-interest. Being an activist because you're a member of an oppressed group is like, entirely normal and fine of course BUT it becomes real clear when someone's framework of ethics and politics is PURELY "I think me (and people I personally like and approve of) being oppressed is bad" and literally not one inch deeper.

You can tell because if it was deeper, why would they find it so easy to turn around to a fellow queer/trans person to jeer at and humiliate and throw them under the bus if they think they're a Deadweight to the group by being a Weirdo I Don't Want to Stand Next to, Eww...or if they just don't personally like them? Why have you clearly spent absolutely no time unpacking any of the prejudice and biases around gender sexuality (or GOD FORBID race) that society throws at you.. at least no more time than it takes to rationalize yourself out of the category of Should Be Destroyed and Oppressed?

We are not immune from this sort of terminally self-interested activism. I just feel like we'd get a lot further as a society, as a community, if sometimes our analysis of bullies and assholes didn't fixate on finding some deep pain and trauma inside them, to explain their actions in a way that makes them look more tortured and less malicious (even if we say, even mean, that it's not supposed to be an excuse). Sometimes people are just racist, or fatphobic. Sometimes lesbians or gay men or bi or trans people just want to be judgmental bullies too.

Sometimes the reality isn't Tragic Villain Backstory. Sometimes, its just a selfish, deeply pathetic person refusing to become any less, because it's easier not to; even if you had a unique chance to see how the other side lives, a chance your straight cis bully peers didn't get by virtue of their identities.

[ghouljams]

First of all, sorry for my English, it's not my first language and I'm still studying it. And straight to the point, I'm a transmasc who dates a cis girl, we were just friends before that, so we had few, almost no conversations about sex, preferences or fetishes. Anyway, shortly before we started dating she told me some of her sexual experiences, and I didn't feel jealous or insecure, I know I can satisfy her. Well, I thought so. She told me about an experience she had with a person with a dick, saying that a real one is infinitely better than a fake one, talking a lot about it, details that, because they are part of someone else's privacy, I won't tell. At the time I didn't care, so when we started dating and naturally became intimate, this became an insecurity, she had said slightly cruel things that day about it that I saw as a preference. She seems to have a lot of desire for me, but she started talking about it... uncomfortable things about it, and before we talked vaguely about the idea of having children, the clear idea of adoption passing through our minds... then these days she said that she preferred a biological child to an adopted one, I stayed quiet, just wrapped in her embrace that seemed to only tighten the thorns that her words threw at my heart. I feel terrible and incapable, honestly, I hate comparing people, but I have had experiences with cis gay men who treated me like a prince in relation to this. Sex and physical intimacy seem to be important to her, and although I'm madly in love with her, since this has become almost a blip in our relationship and I feel extremely insecure, like I can't make her happy, I don't feel like touching her anymore. These days I was crazy and climbing the walls with excitement, but although I masturbated I didn't think about her like before, or anyone else, my mind just went blank. Honestly I don't know, I think this is just a messy rant, sorry.

Hello my darling!

I want to start by saying my heart breaks for you. I wouldn't wish that sort of insecurity on anyone.

There's no easy way to say this but I think it needs to be said anyway. This is not the love for you.

It seems clear to me, at least from how you described it, that your partner is being needlessly cruel to you. This isn't preference, this is just mean. If she is talking a lot about the "real thing" and how she prefers that to anything else, then she doesn't see you the same way she sees other men. If she is wishing for biological children(which you can give her, IVF works) and you're feeling insecure about it then that's just another comparison between you and other men.

If you don't want to have sex with her because of the comments she has made then you need to break up.

You are lucky enough to have had good sex with people who treat you right, why waste your love on someone who doesn't?

If you want to salvage the relationship then you need to have an honest conversation with your partner. This isn't something that is just going to go away. You need to discuss how her comments have made you feel and explain how they hurt you. It shouldn't be an attack on her, but you also need to talk or else it's all going to build until you can't take it anymore.

Love is a choice, it's one we make every day when we wake up and think of our partner. Feelings help, but feelings come like waves, sometimes they're big and sometimes they're small. Madly in love is good. Extremely insecure is not, and if she's contributed to that then you need to talk to her about it. Otherwise your other options are break up or continue in misery.

[woomycritiques543]

https://twitter.com/NazFX_Studios/status/1199643032292749312?t=1zGGNfvZkOKvFd0ItADX7Q&s=19

Vivziepop recently made a Collab with NazFX on Twitter who's releasing a Loona remake tomorrow. It appears she has collabed with this person twice? In the link I'm sending is a video of a white Alastor plush. My favorite character in the Hazbin Hotel series is whitewashed to oblivion again! Like WTF, Look at him? Why is he so white 😭? WHY IS HE STILL BEING PORTRAYED AS A NON BLACK CHARACTER? First it was Sallie May that was overly sexualized for being a trans woman which insulted the community and got a lot of backlash, then making another transmasc character Cis which got more backlash and now we're pushing for anti black, white Alastor! I encourage others not to buy from Viv or get the Loona plush to pocket her pockets because she's anti black and is absolutely terrible at portraying black characters, characters with different ethnic backgrounds in general or just LGBT characters. Vivziepop is not a spectacular person with great ideas. She can't represent characters period!

This is "OOAK." Not a collab. It's fanmade.

I get your concern, but please provide clear evidence before making accusations like this. Though yes... Vivziepop does whitewash him still, in fact, she made him lighter after the backlash about the Vodou representation, something fans and non-fans alike were disgusted by her doing this kind of anti-black behavior, and kept the symobols in the episode- just more hidden now.

Look at Vortex, look at how this character is drawn, look at how the muscles are emphasized while the white muscular characters are drawn otherwise normally or with Ozzie, have skinny arms.

Look at how they drew the white muscular characters and their anatomy compared to Vortex and try to tell me that there was "no anti-blackness" involved here. The white men have even anatomy, while for Vortex, it's emphasized to hell and back, and he's given almost no sympathy for being a slave, while Loona is multiple times just because she's white coded despite being Hell's equivalent to how black people were/are treated. Yet for Vortex, he's not sympathized with, even in his debut, and is only animated to "look intimidating" and to be violent while also having not a single black person influencing his writing. He's just meant to be the "token strong black man" while Coco and the rest of the background characters are put their for brownie points while we get no respect from these writers underneath this narrative. It's hypocritical, selfish, and downright racially insensitive. These stereotypes are far from "harmless", especially today with the newest Helluva Boss episode and how it relates to the harmful stigma against drag queens.

The fetishization of trans, drag, and black lives hurts us.

These stereotypes are not "comedy", they're reputational harm.

-while the other black characters are whitewashed and given names like "Coco" based on their skin. You can actually tell that the direction of this show had not a single black say on these shows, at all.

HB also made over half of their main poc characters succubi as an excuse to fetishize us. It's just hentai for minority fetishists, that's it, the show is just what Americans think hentai is, but worse, since it includes all misrepresentation of women from hentai along with ableism, racism, homophobia, and blatant transphobia from the writers being put into the tones and dialouge of the scenes.

The double standards need to stop. There is no such thing as a "good" dergogatory stereotype. Black stereotyping and fetishization is equally as harmful as blackface. This goes for Brandon Rodgers as well. Both him and Vivziepop have gotten away with racial stereotypes and sexism for far too long. There needs to be at least one black say behind this writing. This needs to stop.

Also look at the anniversary posts on Twitter:

Not a single black person in sight. I want to be excited by this show so badly due to the nice animation, cool world ideas (Hell with different demon species- how cool is that?!) and the cool looking bg characters but the creators keep ruining it with active bigotry.

So you're right about that one... 💀

Vivienne is speedrunning her own cancellation now...

-and it's just sad to watch. All she had to do was apologize for how she misrepresented multiple minority groups and let her stans attack us, none of this discourse needed to happen smh.

If racism and all around bigotry is "not ok" with Oye Primos. It's "not ok" with how Helluva Boss treats minorities as well. People need to stop having double standards just because one creator benefits their fan content more than the other. To the HB tag, if you like any of Vivziepop's shows, cool, but dont pretend to support us while denying how much bigotry the creators have just because you want more of Vivziepop's cartoon softcore porn.

Racism and queerphobia should not be normalized with any writer.

Stop the hypocrisy!

[pockethep]

Thanks for answering my ask.....if you don't mind me asking (again), who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

No problem, I like doing these. These are some of my favorite couples though there were lots to sort through.

Percabeth (Percy x Annabeth) Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Just like my favorite character list, I love the Percy Jackson series but most important I love a certified wife guy. Percy chose Annabeth over a seat in Olympus. There are multiple points where in life threatening situations he thinks about Annabeth immediately. "A one way trip. A very hard fall" they fell into endless darkness together and came out together. They are the blueprint.

2. Satosugu (Gojo x Geto) Jujutsu Kaisen

This will be a trend but I'm a lover of angst as much as fluff but tragic lovers is a personal favorite thing of mine. Gojo called him his "one and only". The entirety of the events in the story revolve around Gojos choice to not kill him that day in 2006 and, when they met again, destroying the body. It's "Love is the most twisted curse of them all" vs "At least curse me a little at the very end". It's "my six eyes tell me you're suguru geto but my soul knows otherwise". No matter how Gojo held out his hand, there was no way for him, he who the world shifted upon his birth, to reach him. There something poetic about their relationship.

3. Royai (Mustang x Hawkeye) Full Metal Alchemist

They're basically canon. But I mean "When we're alone the colonel calls me Riza" like COME ON. Riza is a "loyal to a fault, dedicating their entire being to the other with little hope of ever getting an ounce of affection back cause she made up her mind and decided it doesn't matter so long as she can remain by his side" character and Mustang is a "self-destructive tendencies combined with +10 charisma and noble ideals who's ready to be viewed as a villain if thats what it comes to and as such can't understand why the other is so loyal." character. Plus its all about the way they hang all over each other when hurt and how she could so easily direct him when he was blind. That trust is elite.

4. Heromari (Hero x Mari) Omori

Another tragic pairing. It's heartbreaking how much they loved each other and even if we didn't get to see a lot of it in game we know from the way everyone describes them and the pictures. Mari's death completely changed the trajectory of Hero's life and although he may heal he'll probably never get over her. Everyday I curse at the sky that they didn't get to have their future together

5. Hualian (Hua Cheng x Xie Lian) Tian Guan Ci Fu

I'll keep this one brief. Tgcf said "only after meeting you did I rediscover that it's such a simple thing to be happy" and "to me, the one basking in infinite glory is you; the one fallen from grace is also you. what matter is you, not the state of you" and "there's no banquet in the world that doesn't come to an end, so i'll say what I want to say" and I went feral for every bit of it. Hualian is such a lovely couple.

6. Kaebedo (Kaeya and Albedo) (Genshin Impact)

Without going into too much lore(another reason why I love this couple). I love the idea of Kaeya and Albedo seeing their shared heritage in one another. Learning together to see it as creative and beautiful and not just a curse or an evil. Also I love the homunculus part, it aids to a lot of good drama and tension.

7. Akiangel (Aki x Angel Devil) (Chainsaw man)

Slightly new to the list BUT the dynamic between the two goes farther beyond the "out of touch, out of time" jokes. It goes even farther than the "man who hates devils falling in love with one". It's about the drinking imagery evoking a kiss, Angel being able to break from Makima for a brief moment because of Aki, and their shared moments of kindness. Also the fan art is fantastic.

8. Chidi and Eleanor (The Good Place)

I love them so much. And even if we only saw them as a couple for a brief period of time, I love watching adults fall in love and I loved watching them both get better.

9. Orpheus and Eurydice (Greek Mythology)

Their story is one of love. A love that could drive one into the underworld. Just gonna drop this "Dying a second time, now, there was no complaint to her husband (what then could she complain of, except that she had been loved?)"

10. Chili and Bandit Heeler (Bluey)

A wild pull but I genuinely could see this in my number 1 spot. It is so refreshing to see a couple that genuinely loves each other, their children, and their lives. I'm tired of the sitcom schtick where the husband and wives hate each other and their jobs and talk about how their kids annoy them by existing. I want more of them and I want what they have.

Some Honorable Mentions:

Ichigo and Orihime, Inuyasha and Kagome, Ninguang and Beidou, Edward and Winry, Luz and Amity, Vanilla Extract and Tumblr Polls, Joe and Cherry, Beau and Yasha, Twilight and Yor, Zelda and Link, Franky and Robin, Akechi and Persona 5 Protag

[simpel-is]

honestly this post, esp the part at the beginning, had me thinking

i had to go through a culture shock knowing how apparently slurs are more normalized in america (whether in bigotry or otherwise), how they're said everywhere in certain parts and apparently its "either you care or you dont" which is sort of a simplification of reality but its just shocking to me that straight, cis people can throw around slurs with little to no consideration of the outside world (the most prime example are group chats with guys, and im still conflicted on that)

bc the world isn't america. in asia its fucking rough. i still freeze and flinch when someone says the f slur (unless ik them to be explicitly queer), i still roll my eyes when someone calls someone else gay in a sort of playful degrading manner, because i focus on the degrading part

i still hold firm the belief that slurs, especially queer slurs, shouldn't be said by people who don't know or haven't experienced the full extent of our trauma. im jealous and can't comprehend how those people can say those slurs without flinching, without consideration of the word's history and how it's been used and how it's STILL being used in the world to degrade people like me in other parts of the world

im in a discord server with lots of americans, and i see them joking about shit like saying the n word, calling each other gay, throwing around the t slur, that type of shit, and i look in confusion bc i cant tell if theyre being ignorant, normalized bigotry or secure knowing they say that shit without any malicious intentions

when people throw out queer slurs, in my experience at least, queer people stay silent. they throw a blind eye, and i can't tell if it's because they don't care or if they're too afraid to say something

The Knowing: Being Queer in BL

I’ve been talking about The Knowing a lot lately with @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup and so I felt it was time to gather all those thoughts into one place.

I define The Knowing as “growing up and suffering with the knowledge that you are queer (specifically that you are not like other kids) and understanding that you must keep that knowledge to yourself.”

Part of what initially drew me to BL was how often many of these shows took place in what @absolutebl calls “The Bubble” where cultural and structural homophobia is less prevalent or nonexistent. Many of these stories are about guys learning something about themselves for the first time when it comes to being attracted to other men. However, I always find myself drawn to the characters that clearly Knew who they were a long time ago. What’s interesting about these characters is that many of them carry an intense sadness and loneliness that plagues them and their relationships.

I am in my mid-30s. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of language over the decades. When I first realized I was different from other kids I was eight years old. I was a lot like Chiron in Moonlight (2016) asking the question, “What’s a faggot?” I wish I’d had someone like Juan around to say, “A faggot is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” To which Chiron asked, “Am I a faggot?” and Juan quickly corrected. “Nah. You can be gay, but you ain’t gotta let nobody call you no faggot.” I know it’s hard for some of you to read slurs written out so plainly, but I grew up with them being part of the day-to-day language used by kids around me. If you instinctively recoiled at me typing the word four times, imagine experiencing that constantly for your entire adolescence while also fearing the consequences of being discovered by your peers. That’s what I survived. That’s what some of these boys survived.

Before I learned other words, I thought I was weird or broken. I knew I was drawn to boys before I even hit puberty, but I didn’t have language for existing on the ace-spectrum until I joined Tumblr in the early 2010s. Before that I just thought there was something wrong with me. When we see a character in BL who has clearly been gay for a long time, I find myself examining the environment around them to see if they suffered The Knowing.

The worst part of The Knowing is for the boys who can pass as straight if they try hard enough. I always talk about how I think femmes are stronger than those of us (like me) who can pass. They face the public scrutiny of being queer and the danger of that constantly. People like me often go unnoticed unless we’re amongst our peers or explicitly tell people who we are.

I’m writing this post as a love letter to the boys who suffered the Knowing. Sometimes these characters get a bad reputation in fandom for being boring or sad sacks, but they are the characters I love the most. I’d like to talk about some of my favorite boys who Knew. Unsurprisingly, the exact kind of melancholy Japan is willing to play with means they have strong presence on this list.

Korn (Until We Meet Again)

Korn is the character who began my discussion about this in a conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist about Kao’s acting. I pointed out that the saddest thing about Korn in Until We Meet Again is that he knew what he was going to do the entire time. The tragedy of UWMA is that Korn loved Intouch and let him in, and unfortunately learned that Intouch’s love couldn’t fix the horrors that plagued him. You can see it in Kao’s eyes for the entire show whenever we see the In and Korn flashbacks. He suffers under the weight of masculine expectation and crumbles.

The Entire Cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday?

WDYEY is all about characters who Knew. Kenji and Wataru may have been unable to pass and have chosen to accept who they are, but we know Wataru suffered for it because of his feelings about family. Shiro hid who he was for a very long time, and still hides it from most people. His trauma from The Knowing regularly threatens his relationship with Kenji. Kohinata also clearly knew who he was the entire time, and works diligently for the life he’s built for himself. So much of this show is about being gay in a world that does not value us.

Book, Christina, and Yok (Make It Right)

Book is actively victimized because of The Knowing. He left his previous school and doesn’t live with his family because he was outed by a past boyfriend, and is disowned after revenge porn of him is posted.

Both Chrstina and Yok are femme and cannot pass. Unlike many of the boys in this show figuring out who they are, they are trying to survive without losing themselves.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Li Ming has a gay uncle and still suffers The Knowing. He is hiding his attraction from everyone until he develops feelings for Heart.

Itou Akira (Life: Love on the Line)

We experienced the entire arc of this man’s life and how much The Knowing crushed him. This is probably the most The Knowing character on the list.

Oumi Mitsuru (Eternal Yesterday)

Oumi has such a frank expression of The Knowing and how much it hurts that he likes Koichi but feels like he can’t express it.

Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari)

The man literally blogs about The Knowing, and it’s how Sakuko began to understand herself. He has a questionnaire prepared to help you figure out how long you’ve Known.

Ren (Tokyo in April Is…)

I wrote multiple posts about Ren and his experience with The Knowing. So much of what goes wrong for them is because Ren couldn’t believe that Kazuma could like him, too, and he knowingly faced the consequences of being discovered to save Kazuma’s life.

Pete (Love by Chance)

Pete knows who he is and can’t change it. Trump uses this against him. Pete doesn’t want Ae to be gay like him and suffer with the realities of being a Known Gay. Pete has one of the first coming out scenes in BL that I really enjoyed.

Cairo (Gameboys)

Cairo was clearly struggling with Knowing, and his close friend took his coming out from him. Cairo is a brat, but goddamn do I appreciate some of his angst.

See-eiw (My Only 12%)

He watched The Love of Siam (2007) and had a complete emotional breakdown as he was finally able to name his feelings for Cake. Top-tier expression of The Knowing.

Shin (3 Will Be Free)

I mean, we don’t have to look much further than his entire sad existence and being pushed into sex with a prostitute in the first episode. Also there’s, “It wasn’t that you didn’t like boys. You just didn’t like me.” Shin is the only boy in BL-adjacent media to suffer a specific version of The Knowing: being rejected and discarded by your own people in a homophobic way so they could stay closeted.

Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Phupha’s entire romantic angst is built around The Knowing and what others seeing him for who he is will do for him.

Pran (Bad Buddy)

Though Bad Buddy exists in The Bubble, Pran has one of the most painful versions of The Knowing I’ve ever experienced because his is wrapped up in family angst and an unrequited crush.

Lee Wan (Our Dating Sim)

Lee Wan suffered The Knowing and broke things with his best friend after confessing. The Knowing destroyed his ability to see a version of his life where he and Shin Kitae overcame the upcoming challenges together and so he takes that choice from Kitae. Crushing.

Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)

Minoru is so familiar with The Knowing that he preemptively breaks up with Yutaka after kissing him.

Kiyoi (My Beautiful Man)

The reveal that Kiyoi already knew who he was and noticed Hira the entire time? Beautiful. One of the best reveals in J-BL history.

Minato (Minato’s Laundromat)

This man is one of the sadder examples of The Knowing because he’s in a place where he understands who he is now, but the internalized homophobia cripples almost all of his romantic and closer relationships.

Han Baram (Sing My Crush)

This boy is suffering so much from The Knowing that his love confession song is literally titled “Letter of Apology.”

Oh-aew (I Told Sunset About You)

He Knew. “Are you proud of me?”

Noh Shinwoo and Shin Daon (Light On Me)

Noh Shinwoo clearly suffered The Knowing and was discovered. His bullies still plague him on the streets when they see him. Shin Daon was not surprised by his attraction to Woo Taekyung; he struggled with his parents expectations.

Nagisa (His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love)

Nagisa definitely Knew who he was and was probably going to stay quiet about it until Shun showed up in his life. What upsets me so much about Nagisa is that he is the one who leaves Shun later in the movie after pulling queerness out of Shun.

The Secret Crush on You Quartet

All four of them get a spot on this list for The Knowing. Toh, Kaojao, and Daisy clearly suffered The Knowing, and Som has clearly taken care of them for a long time.

Rocky and Judah (Quaranthings)

I love that these two explore The Knowing from a class perspective. Judah is wealthier and eventually comes out, but Rocky is poor and struggles with it a lot longer.

Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook (Where Your Eyes Linger)

The Knowing, bodyguard edition. The yearning between the two of these is palpable. It hurts that they can’t even talk to each other about it.

Mafuyu (Given)

He Knew and lost his boyfriend to The Knowing.

Kim Dong Hee (Unintentional Love Story)

He won’t acknowledge Go Ho Tae’s feelings because he feels a sense of loyalty to Ho Tae’s mom for taking care of him after his parents disowned him over the gay thing. Huge case of The Knowing.

Edit: New Additions October 7, 2023.

Nekoyashiki Mamoru (Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)

He describes a textbook case of the Knowing and finding community at the convention.

Zo (Hidden Agenda)

He definitely Knew, and got messed over by his friends badly for it.

Yuuki (Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend)

We almost lost Yuuki to the Knowing.

All of the Eclipse Gays

Literally all of them. The entire show is about how fascism turns queer people into agents working against their own community.

Joe (The Warp Effect)

He clearly Knew before his encounter with Army, and he also suffered for being outed.

[blandacheadcanons]

Eivor is genderfluid.

Here’s an article as evidence.

[ktempestbradford]

I'm a cis woman and I call bullshit on @hoggrunt1 's entire thesis.

Wait until you're a legal adult - okay which definition of "legal adult" are we going with? Cuz in some countries it's as low as 14, in others as high as 21. All definitions of "legal adult" in modern times are based on cultural ideas and not on any objective standard. This is true for most of history.

The only sort of objective standard for adulthood I can think of is deciding a girl is an adult when she gets her first period (and can thus be a mother). If you're old enough to be a mother, surely you're old enough to decide you want puberty blockers, right? Except most American cultures world not consider a menstruating 12 year old to be an adult.

Bottom line: there is no magical moment/age when you become "adult enough" to make decisions about your own body. In fact, once you are able to reason, you are able to make decisions about your own body.

But everyone makes terrible decisions when they're 14! - People make terrible, life-altering decisions at every age. Yeah, 14 year olds aren't the wisest humans around, yet neither are 21 year olds, 39 year olds, 42 year olds, or 67 year olds.

You know what makes for wise decisions? Knowledge. Learning. Support. Clear communication. Understanding born from having access to good information and respectful representation. This is true for any person at any age.

Instead of writing off tweens and teens for being too stupid or making snap decisions they don't understand, give them credit for knowing their own body, their own selves, and being able to make good decisions once they have the information they need.

We have age limits on [list of unrelated things including joining the military and driving], so it's reasonable to have age limits on this! - Aaaannndddd we're back to how the age limits on everything listed are decided by culture, not by how one becomes magically Adult Enough to do these things by a certain age.

Most of the time these age limits are about harm reduction rather than limitations based on irrevocable harm. You gotta be a certain height to drive and be old enough to have some semblance of maturity and responsibility (even though it's not a requirement...). Making military age 17 or 18 is meant to ensure you at least get through high school first.

In fact, that reminds me of this comic:

From @assignedmale, who makes many comics educating people on trans issues that you should read before opening your mouth again.

Wait a few years because you may regret this decision! - And here's where I call you out for buying into and spreading the toxic notion that kids who realize they are trans will somehow decide otherwise once the fad or phase passes. As if kids don't know who they are at a deep level, even if they will always be becoming who they are and changing bit by bit every day.

A loving, caring parent would joyfully acknowledge and celebrate their child's identity while offering them whatever support is needed, not telling them to wait in agony for an arbitrary birthday or telling them their identity is a mistake they may regret someday.

All of the evidence backed up by real data says that gender-affirming care -- which may include puberty blockers as well as letting a kid socially transition even if they can't or don't want to medically transition -- makes for mentally healthier kids who grow into mentally healthier adults. Your take is based on TERF nonsense.

Do you want to be a loudspeaker for TERF nonsense or a champion for trans kids? Cuz those are your choices. Choose wisely.

The fact that leagues of smart and rational trans adults who are informed about the evidence base for puberty blockers wish they could’ve taken them in their youth seems to me pretty darn conclusive evidence that the balance of risk and benefit is favourable.

[killingitreservoirdogsstyle]

Hi I’m sorry if you’re really busy take as much time as you need to yourself xx. But can I request headcanons of having a kid with Mr White? Thanks so much hun ❤️❤️

Hi love! You don't have to worry whatsoever about bothering me, I LOVE reading your guys' asks and writing them too. It's just sorting out a time to do them that doesn't clash with my schooling and personal life that is the difficult part. Thanks for being so understanding though, I really appreciate your kindness. I can totally do this, but I will tell you that they're going to be much shorter than normal which I hope isn't too much of a problem :)

Be warned to all those who are triggered by pregnancy and other things along the lines of an AFAB s/o at some moments in these headcanons. I made the reader as gender neutral as possible, but still use caution if you don't want to be offended. Without further ado, let's get right into these hcs! God, I love Larry though, no shit.

C/N means child's name, just so you know, I didn't originally put this in the draft, stupid me.

FANDOM: Reservoir Dogs

GENRE: Requested Headcanons, Romantic Relationship, and Parenting AU!

SYNOPSIS: You and your husband Larry finally have a child, and it is interesting to say the least!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Brief AFAB reader mentions, pregnancy, swearing, and pure fluffiness!

Let's get the AFAB reader hcs out of the way first so that my out of the binary, trans, fluid, and non-cisgender readers don't have to suffer from unnecessary anxiety anticipating skipping these ones! The headcanons that discuss anything of the sort are going to be in BOLD for easy scrolling to get to the comfy content!

Assuming that you are younger than Larry, you two had ruled out the possibility of him knocking you up a long time ago in your relationship. He just didn't think he could anymore, and would be worried about issues in the pregnancy or afterwards. However, fate had a different idea. You found out that you were up the duff when your period arrived late. Your lower stomach was starting to swell, only slightly, but enough that you knew. So after rushing to the store for a pregnancy test and taking it, sure enough you were pregnant. And the only possible father was White.

He was--what's the word--astonished to say the least. At first he thinks you're pranking him. There's NO way that he was able to father a kid at his age. I mean, you nicknamed him 'geezer' for a reason. He's an old man, it can't be real. But when the reality sinks in, he's over the moon about it. Deep down he'd always wanted a baby with you, and now it's coming to fruition.

Practically picks you up in his arms, kissing your cheek, and starts to cry. He praises you without cease, making promises to be the best dad he can be, and that he'll take care of both of you no matter what.

" So, you're happy?" you ask through a laugh. He nods, hugging you close to him. " Abso-fucking-lutely, baby girl. I'm gonna be a pop, and you'll be my little mama! S'best day of my life,"

The pregnancy goes surprisingly well, with little difficulty and a pretty easy labour for you. Sitting by your bedside as you hold your swaddled son in your arms, Larry lets the tears flow. You let him take your baby, C/N and hold him close.

" Hey there, son... Y/N, you've done amazing. I'm so fucking proud of you, doll." he places C/N back onto your chest, and leans into you to nuzzle his cheek against you.

Okay, it is all safe now to look for my fellow non-cis peeps to look! Because you don't want to have a baby in the biological way with Larry, you two go down the route of adoption. He has no qualms whatsoever, only wanting you to be happy. Plus, he might feel more comfortable with foster/adoption, as I have a headcanon that he was adopted as a child. So to him, it's personal--helping a kid who might otherwise have an unfortunate or dysfunctional home-life and loving them as they would deserve it.

You two have to sort out several things before bringing your new baby home, such as getting a better place, making the house child-proof, and looking at getting new jobs to support your future family. Larry even looks at dropping out of the Dogs, but you convince him that it wouldn't be wise. So he begrudgingly agrees, needing to pull in some cash for you two.

But when the time comes to sign the papers and bring your child home, you both are thrilled beyond words. You'd have a little girl, C/N, a sweet redhead who picks up your sass and Larry's wit as she grows. Cradling C/N in his arms, White sheds a few tears. He can't help himself, having flashbacks to his own childhood and his heart swelling with pride.

" She's lovely like you... Oh god, Y/N, I can't believe she's ours..."

And let me tell you, Larry Dimmick is a killer daddy. No matter what gender your baby is, he's there, present, and loves them like they are his whole world. The two of them will play games, sports, cuddle, cook, listen to music, go for drives together, and just hang out. He's so attentive, only seeking to give the child the love he didn't really get as a kid. Overall, Larry is a 10/10 father and you absolutely scored with him.

Sorry for how shitty my ending was there, I ran out of time to finish these and won't get to it again for awhile. I hope you enjoyed these, and do please let me know if you want me to re-do them to fit whatever you had in mind! Have a great weekend everyone, and stay tuned for more updates!

[meanautisticenbian]

Fuck it, I'm gonna dissect all the bullshit in that one Lilith post bit by bit

TW// Lilith hate, victim blaming, abuse, cult mention, ableism towards Autistic people, sexualization of minors (briefly mentioned)

I'll be putting my text in bold just in case it's hard to distinguish between the pictures and my commentary

Here's the post I'm referring to in case you're curious

Moving on and starting with this bit

People pay attention to Eda all the damn time, she's literally one of the main characters. Funny how you only mention tik tok and nothing else. Is that the only other social media you have? Because fans on different social media platforms act much differently; on IG and Reddit stuff like the sexualization of minors and fucking ODALIA AND ALADOR STANS are normalized, where everywhere else it's pretty much universally agreed that that stuff is bad. I don't know a lot about what toh Tik Tok is like just because I don't usually go on tik tok, but even if it is like this, it's not the same for the rest of the fandom. A lot of the fandom still hates Lilith and blames her for her abuse and not being able to leave

You say that like she's a bad person, she's really not. The curse she placed on Eda wasn't intended to be permanent and probably wasn't even supposed to take the effects that it did. She was most likely scammed. I mean look at how she reacts when Eda transforms for the first time. She also feels guilty enough about it to throw herself into an abusive situation and spend almost her whole life trying to make up for it. Lastly, yes she hurt Luz, but let's not forget that Belos threatened her life upon Eda's capture and Lilith was running out of time and had no other option. Obviously what she did was wrong but she's not the real monster here.

"I do like Lilith" this entire essay says otherwise.

Literally none of us ignore any of the bad shit she's done, stop lying about us.

Yes, Lilith did mock her for her curse, which was messed up, but we don't actually know for sure if the curse is basically canonically a disability in that world, so if that's the case then for now it's technically not ableism until we get confirmation otherwise.

"it was an accident and I forgive Lilith" no you fucking don't. First of all this entire essay is you talking about how evil you think she is and secondly, if it really was as bad as you view it, you wouldn't be that forgiving.

Ah yes the victim blaming, the one thing that almost everyone does to Lilith and barely anyone talks about.

There is literally not a single Lilith stan out there who blames Eda for getting cursed. You're just mad that your victim blaming towards Lilith got called out so you silence us by lying about how we do the same thing to Eda.

No one is making Eda out to be the villain either, the only example I can find of this is a few fanfics where she treats Lilith a lot more harshly than she should, and even then, scenes like that are written in a positive light as if you're supposed to be on Eda's side, so with that in mind, the writers of these fics are clearly not even Lilith stans. In terms of how actual stans treat Eda, the worst they do is make her slightly ignorant of Lilith's trauma, kinda like the fandom, minus the "slightly", until she grows as a character and learns to see the red flags. If that's the problem you're talking about, then breaking news: Eda's not perfect either. She has flaws too just like literally everyone else in the show and people are allowed to write about them

Tell me the truth: are people making playlists for Lilith that include a lot of sad and angry songs because she's not a happy person anyway so there wouldn't be a point in having any happy songs, or are they making "trauma" playlists? There's a difference

I'm sorry, are you trying to tell me that people recognizing Lilith's trauma is victim blaming Eda? That's not how it works sweetycakes

There is far more Eda angst out there than there is for Lilith, where are you finding so much Lilith angst? LILITH is the one who's traumas are being ignored while Eda's gets all the attention. You're acting like one of those white cis gays on twitter who see black people talking about the anti blackness they experience daily and accuse them of being homophobic because "there is so much homophobia in the world and they still manage to make it all about race".

No one is saying that Lilith has worse trauma, we're only saying that her's is also severe and that it definitely exists. Also funny how you're allowed to be mad at us for comparing Lilith and Eda's trauma (once again lying about us), then you go on to do the exact same thing and say that EDA'S trauma is worse. Even if, hypothetically speaking, Eda did have it worse, that doesn't mean Lilith doesn't have the right to be traumatized. Both of them have trauma, both should be recognized. Also, Lilith had far more going on in her life than just the guilt of her actions, she was was implied to have been psychologically and maybe physically abused, and was probably even tortured. Stop ignoring all the red flags and condemn the actual abuser (Belos) before you criticize anything the abused (Lilith) has done.

We're not making everything about Lilith, like shut up.

Please don't say that autistic people "have autism", it implies that it's something that can be removed from us. For example: you don't say "a person with blackness" when referring to black people or "a woman with homosexuality" when referring to Lesbians.

Oh yeah I'm also autistic so here are MY thoughts

Amity and Lilith are not antagonists anymore, hcing them as Autistic is not villainizing autism.

The autistic Lilith headcanon was made by autistic fans, allistics only latched onto it because they either wanted to be supportive or they saw that she actually had a lot of autistic traits

You're not the only autistic person alive, just because you're not like Lilith or Amity doesn't mean none of us are or they're not autistic. I mean, I know I am

You're not fun or funny

"not all Autistic people are like this" remember that line, dear readers

Actually, I prefer the autistic villain trope MUCH more than the grown ass autistic adult that acts like a five year old trope. At least we'd have less stereotypes associated with us.

Autism is not supposed to be portrayed in only fun and happy characters, that is literally the epitome of stereotyping and infantilizing. You literally just said that not all autistic people are the same, doesn't this count as being all the same? Does this mean I don't exist anymore? Am I just not autistic? Are you even aware that a flat affect or monotone voice is literally a very common autistic trait? You can't just say that we're stereotyping autistics and then just go on to stereotype us, like what the fuck are you even on? Is it only ok when you do it?

Amity is not edgy for fuck's sake

Literally no one is headcanoning Lilith or Amity as autistic because they're mean, we headcanon them as autistic because they actually show traits of it

Oh, our harmless headcanons are making you feel uncomfortable because they don't fit into the stereotypes you made up about us? Good to know our plan is working I guess

Last thing I wanna say regarding this post as a whole: why are you acting like liking Lilith and feeling sympathy for her is a bad thing? If you find this then don't say "I don't think that's a bad thing", answer HONESTLY

Well that's all I have for now, thank you for reading, I need to go to bed soon

[max--phillips]

Hi!

Thank you so much for your thoughtful, patient and indepth answer. It made me think quite a lot, so I guess you're in for at least another way too long message. I am so glad I got up my courage to write to you, you're so sweet.

In past few months, I also asked myself if there were signals that I missed because I just didn't know better. At first, I thought - no, not really. Growing up, I could play with any toys from legos and robots to fairy doll tea house. Sure, I got told to sit like lady when in public or not laugh so brayingly now and then, and had long hair, and in my fantasies I ran around as very pretty, but kickass princess or tomboy football captain and so forth, without any judgement from parent. That sounds pretty normal girlhood experience, to me.

But there is this one thing. When I was in high school, taking psychology class I took the quiz for the now since debunked left-right brain thinking and I scored almost perfectly in middle ground and I remember, quite vividly, what spark of just joy I felt about that and even went to tell my parent.

There isn't a lot I remember so strongly, so I've sometimes wondered why it imprinted on me so. I kept writing off first as internalized misogny and toxic masculinity (Ah! I am neither of these often negatively seen groups! I am not like other girls! Or the stupid boys.) and then - as my attempt to make sense of why I never belonged among my peers and to find something good in it, just as neurodivergent kid who didn't know they're neurodivergent. But last night after reading your response, I couldn't sleep and suddenly realized - why can't it have several meanings? Just the same way being autistic and asexual doesn't detract from or change either of these identities, I could've found comfort both in unrealized gender expression and as neurodivergent, in that moment.

Also, I often wore leather pageboy hat at one point in my life and got told I look like a guy with my dark winter clothes and my response was always "and so/so what?" and I'd even laugh with my parent about it. I thought it meant that I am just very secure in my self expression and my girl/womanhood, the way cishet guy may wear earrings or nailpolish. But now I am not so sure. Not that I am sure of much, ever.

And I think it was last year that I had bunched wet hair under beanie and passed by mirror and saw my hair kind of curling across my forehead just so, but otherwise gone and I felt almost startled/struck by lightning that I look cute but not in like, distinctly feminine way, more like someone nonbinary you'd see in a vid, and it really stuck to me. I never quite managed to repeat same effect and feeling, but I think after that, I started paying even more attention to trans, nonbinary and such videos I watched as part of me trying to learn about other queer identities, both to understand them better and interact in positive way and to write them right, if I ever got guts to do so. I even wrote to a friend maybe I'd make a cute guy har har that night, I think.

Also, some years back I went around and asked friends if they had ever dreams in which they were a man. I've had a few, where it was just matter of fact and I didn't pay it attention and I don't know why I asked, but basically my cis friends said that no. I've also written and RPd as guys often and never really got upset about it, but I think that also is just... Normal?

You're absolutely right that there's no one way to look nonbinary. I think I got hung up on the idea that if I looked like [darkly floral cryptid you cannot tell gender of] and people saw me as that, reacted as such, and I experienced euphoria, it'd be clear sign I am nonbinary, some kind of one-all solution or answer, but when I think about it, I'd probably get panic attack if someone asked me what gender I am in real life and find reason to doubt my reaction anyway, the way I am second guessing that spark of joy I got from buying floral top that makes me look quite flat and I am just like 'so what if it's just because it feels like I am doing theater or cosplaying or just new look joy?'.

I've tried to use more gender neutral speech about myself for past month and it didn't make me uncomfortable or unhappy, that I know for sure.

Thank you for the tips on the TransTape, I bookmarked the site and it seems some stores might open up soon again that I can look into better sports bra. And honestly, the end of your response made me tear up. Truly and warmly said, thank you, and I think I have a lot more confidence now that sometime soon I might tell some of my friends about my new pronouns. Past few weeks I've had the urge to do so, but I tamped it back. But why deny me this and the joy I might get from it? You're absolutely right.

Even if it changes in the long run, even if I decide she/her is good fit to me after all, the spaces I will have explored and maybe learned to change some things to make me more happy with myself, it will have been worth it.

Thank you so much, truly.

AAAA anon I'm so happy that I could help!!!!!!! Seriously!!

I also had some confounding variables so to speak when looking back on my childhood. Like, for instance, my parents aren't really your traditionally masculine/feminine het couple. My dad has repeatedly described himself as a beta male (which is objectively hilarious) and he's like... the least toxically masculine person in my family. My mom is feminine, sure, but she's reclaimed femininity in a way that's nearly a caricature of it; she's all loud patterns and sparkles and pink and unicorns (and she makes most of her clothes herself!), but she also takes no shit and has a career. Nonetheless, neither of them mind getting their hands dirty, they share cleaning and cooking tasks, and they both were equally active in raising me and my brother. My dad taught me how to work on electronics and cars, my mom taught me how to do various fiber arts and sew. Neither of them ever shut down any of my interests for any reason, and certainly not based on gender. So gender wasn't a big factor in my growing up, but did that make me nonbinary?? Not necessarily. I'm fairly certain it's just coincidence, but it definitely did mean I didn't feel the need to change much when I figured out I was.

And boy howdy did I have the worst case of "not like other girls" when I was in elementary and middle school. Like, genuinely, if you were considered a "popular" girl and you knew me back then, I am So Sorry Actually. But, I think part of that is because I was nonbinary, but a huge part of that was because I was a lesbian and didn't know it, so there were several things going on there. My point here being: there can definitely be several meanings to these things. Gender, sexuality, neurodivergency, all sorts of stuff.

I know personally cutting my hair off was a huge relief for me, and I've never gone back. Granted, not everyone wants to commit to that and I personally have a very detached relationship with my hair because like... I know it'll grow back? But point is, play around with pinning your hair up and wearing hats some! That's a really easy way to get the effect of having short hair without actually cutting it all off.

As for having dreams where your gender is different than how you currently present: I think that's a pretty surefire way to tell that you have at least something going on. Like, not two months ago I had a dream where I had facial hair, and I woke up like "What... what. what" because it looked good, dammit, and not a week later I decided I wanted to go on T just to see what happens. I also tend to relate more to male characters and such (thus, yknow... my blog dlfjkad) so I feel you there very much.

I also feel like cis people who have played around with gender, have explored that part of themselves and then figured out it wasn't for them are almost like... more valid in their gender, if that makes sense? Obviously everyone is valid in their gender, but stepping out of your comfort zone and trying out a few things and then deciding that it's not for you is good! And it can be validating in its own right! Plus, like you said, you learn things about yourself you might not have otherwise!

Anywho, you're absolutely more than welcome and I hope that you find gender euphoria and happiness and a good sports bra that is both comfortable and effective (because lord knows that can be a challenge sometimes) <3

[non-binharry]

(1) This is gonna be quite long, just a warning. So if you just want to read and not post it all or just answer in tags that is fine :) I won't be offended or sad I promise :) I also might have to wait to send all because of the ask limit, but will make clear when it's 'the end'. Regarding the talk about blp versus bhk - as someone who does read both and visit(ed) both blogs, I would say you can definitely tell a difference. I don't know much about the mods on bhk so I can't really speak out,

(2) but from what I've seen they are friendly and open-minded! But I mean more in the blogs and the content/how it's presented. Both might be 'themed' and this is of course totally fine, I don't see a problem at all in having a blog specifically about something, or have fic recs for bh/bl - you like what you like. Bhk however, don't claim that they're 'right' and 'you are wrong' and that is that. They simply have a themed blog. They post manips and fic recs and outside of that they post ACTUAL

(3) THINGS that happened. They post all the things that happen and don't ignore anything to fit a top/bottom stereotype. They post 'scruffy Harry', they posted the long-haired Louis pictures. They post flamboyant Louis. Yesterday they posted a moodboard about Omega Louis and Alpha Harry. That is just something blp would never do, in a million years. Omega Harry on their blog? Yeah, no. Harry in his dresses, fishnets etc, not a chance. Bhk also doesn't have the weird safety check thing, they

(4) posted a fic that had top H 'mentions' the other day and it was nothing! Yes they are a bottom H blog and so the fics will be bottom H and not vers etc, but it's not like 'we're saving you from the bottom Louis content!!' either. They do have the 'trans Harry' tag, but if you take a moment to actually check it out you can see it's not connected to the rest of the blog. They're not saying Harry is a bottom/femme/princess and therefore he's trans. They're talking and giving a space to people

(5) who connect with what H is saying. Things he's actually done and not a headcanon. Now what I use blp for is their fic-tags. Actually I did years ago before all this 'plague' shit happened, or at least that I noticed. I like reading bottom Louis and so it was a good place to find fics, and like you said the other day it's pretty much the only place to find any. And it IS actually a good tag-system/collection of fics, I'll give them that. It's a lot of bl fics included and not just those

(6) very ooc ones. Seeing as many fics are not tagged as bh/bl it can be hard to find otherwise. People totally have the right to NOT tag this and many people say it shouldn't matter who tops and I definitely agree (in a way), a story can be GREAT either way, but I also think it's okay to have a preference and simply not be into one or the other. I for one would never read a HET fic for example, since I just find it boring and not interesting at all. So just reading bh or bl is fine. But if you

(7) don't like something or a fic have a scene that you're not into, just skip it! Move on and read something else. Don't go all 'eww gross' or warn about 'vibes'. That is just weird. Hence why I don't look at the actual blp BLOG, only the tags when I need to find a fic. Another big difference - I've yet to see one 'Bharrie' say bottom Louis is 'disgusting' or 'make them vomit'. Meanwhile I see this all the time with Blouies and bottom Harry. And this is about REAL LIFE H/L. Who the fuck does

(8) that? Do they say this about other irl couples too? Imagine them seeing it. Actually imagine having 'bl' or 'bh' or anything in your PROFILE and in a twitter name and proudly be one as your entire personality? Writing about Louis' 'p*ssy' on main and messaging him with the same one. I would be dead embarrassed if it was me. It's not even slightly better than the stalkers harrasing them in the streets asking to sign birth control or some shit. The lack of self awareness. / A final note: I'm

(9) cis myself, so I can't speak from experience and therefore I am in no way claiming anything I say. I can just go on what I would imagine it would be like. About the discussion and talking about H possibly being trans/non-cis. First of all, he's put himself out there several times now. It's not like you go on rumours or straight up speculation. You wouldn't just pick someone for fun and 'make them' into something because you WANT HIM for your own sake. Just like we wouldn't have with Larry if

(10) we didn't honestly believe in them. It's just not right to do. Harry HAS shown things though. Things beyond clothes and being 'femme'. I might be cis, but even I can see there is more to the story. The way he talks about things. The way he presents himself and acts in general. So I then went looking for more about it and came across yours and other blogs where it was talked about and I realised I wasn't alone in my observations. I just couldn't put it into words since I wouldn't actually

(11) know what it's like. So you go on things that exist and you don't claim him being trans as absolute truth or try and define exactly what it means to him. But if it's wrong to say Harry could be non-cis, then the same should be said about the other way around. It's funny how they don't see that? How they don't realise that saying 'Harry is a CIS MAN, stop being disgusting you freaks!' isn't extremely damaging. Not just to him if he ever sees it but to others as well. Just, fuck that

(12) shit :( End of rant. Mostly me just rambling on and for that I'm sorry! I get if you've talked about this enough and like I said, you don't have to post. I just wanted to share my views :) Also if I said anything wrong or ignorant, please correct me! All the love xx (end)

[agaybird]

big tw: transphobia, terfs, violence, and assault.

tumblr wont let me reply, so let me make one (or many) things clear:

all of you who left replies such as this on my post are so fucking ignorant. so i wanna bring up a couple of things.

1. you are watering down the meaning of rape.

you say this is "rape by deception" but if you can't tell the difference in the genitals, what is the difference? you surely can't tell the difference if you say you are being "deceived". you not sleeping with them at that point simply means you're transphobic for no reason.

this isn't at all comparable to men taking off their condoms (aka "stealthing") before finishing. see, that is a form of sexual assault. it also isn't equivalent to someone having an STD and not telling their potential partners: being trans isn't contagious nor inherently dangerous, despite the talk of trans panic that you all clearly believe.

if the people are, say, just hooking up, neither are drunk, and there is consent from both parties... then how is it rape? the answer: it isn't. they literally both consented. also see above paragraph.

2. you are attempting to label all trans people as predators for not outing themselves immediately.

most, if not all, of the trans people in these situations are stealth. this means that they can't out themselves for their own safety. it also means they pass as cis. trans people outing themselves has consistently lead to hate crimes including injury and death; especially the trans women you keep citing as predators.

even if trans people aren't stealth, outing themselves to strangers is incredibly dangerous. trans people still deserve good things (including but not limited to sex) despite and including the fact that they are trans. Yes, sex should be fully consensual. And yes, nobody needs sex. however, if you think that trans people should just stay indoors or else risk hate being literally hate crimed while hooking up, you're crazy. you will always encounter people you don't like when hooking up. but you don't ask the included parties their political beliefs beforehand, do you?

in relationships i do believe that trans people should at least know their beliefs on trans people, not for the cis person's comfort, but for the trans person's safety.

may i also remind you all that there are trans minors, including teens and children. labelling them predators is really fucked up actually.

in fact, trans people are far more assaulted by cis people, whether that be by "corrective rape" or otherwise. this blog post states, "...TERFs trying to ban trans women from women’s bathrooms are essentially demanding that they compromise their own safety by forcing them to use men’s bathrooms, which puts them at risk of assault by transphobic men who don’t like the idea of “men wearing dresses.” This sort of violence isn’t imaginary. These assaults really do happen. (And it’s not just cis men who are the attackers; several days ago two cis women were charged with sexually assaulting a trans woman in the bathroom of a /North Carolina bar.)"

3. trans people can be bad people, but that doesn't mean all trans people are bad.

anyone can be a bad person. anyone. but you don't fault all women when one happens to become a predator or rapist: you fault that one woman. it's also not equivalent to being afraid of men, because in that case, every 1 in 4 men has either attempted or completed rape between the ages of 11 and 17 years old just in the united states, which is a significant amount: significant enough to be cautious of most men. especially considering that almost every woman i know has been assaulted by a man in some way. in comparison, almost no trans people have been reported to attack people (specifically in restrooms) in the united states. trans people, in fact, are four times more likely to be victims of violent crime, such as rape, than cis people.

the "trans people" you all love to source are, spoiler alert: not actually trans! pretending to be a gender you aren't to manipulate someone and being trans are completely different..... being trans has to do with your personal identity, and you transition for yourself. pretending to be a gender you aren't is just that: pretending. it is done to manipulate people. someone cited this article and this article about the same person. as far as i can tell, the only thing this person did was have sex with the woman with a strapon? she was under the impression it was his real penis, but it wasn't. apparently he also shamed her for not getting pregnant. and yeah, that's shitty, but it isn't rape. there was absolutely no harm done to her as far as i read in the articles, and there was both no risk of the woman getting pregnant or getting an STD. she also apparently couldn't tell the difference between a penis and a strapon... yikes. how is this rape? again, it's definitely shitty, but saying it's sexual assault is completely stretching it. this dude was a shitty person, but you all seem to cite the same shitty people in regards to your "justified" transphobia.

i trust other trans people far more than i trust cis people. you know why? i never felt in danger in the presence of a trans person because they are trans, but i have felt unsafe in the presence of cis people because they're cis. i and my loved ones have been put in danger many times because someone perceived me as trans, or i was outed. without having expressed any of my opinions. my existence is inherently political, and that makes me a target.

there is a lot more to discuss, but this is what im putting out there right now.

you seem to forget that we're actually human beings. you dehumanize us and spread lies to be "gender critical" or a "feminist", but you refuse to acknowledge all those who are caught in the crossfire, and those actual human beings you're hurting and killing. fuck yall.

im not even going to mention the amount of cis people ive been assaulted or near-assaulted by compared to trans people, because it's practically 1000:1. that's hardly an exaggeration. get your heads right.

tip jar

my trans-run shop

[freya-rat-face]

I got high and started ranting.

I refuse to engage in the discourse, but I just saw someone say that the whole, what is a woman bit pull the "adult female human" response-- but then she threw in that TERFs don't limit to biology in that statement. Like, no one said anything about the boobs and vag. I can't quote, but they literally indicated that the whole, TERFs-trying-to-limit-female-to-impossibly-narrow-standards thing is just projected onto them by sexists.

But if that's your definition, why can't trans women be women? If they're adults, human, and female, then should be no worries.

Cos I looked it up just to be sure. The definition of female does not exclude non-egg-bearers, probably specifically because that would exclude women who didn't have eggs for whatever reason. There's more than one definition.

If I wanted to get weird about it, 'female' mechanically speaking means it's meant to have something inserted, and we can start including some cis gay males in that. Cos I'm funny.

Second definition right there says "relating to women or the female gender", my favorite part of this is that those two were previously mutually inclusive to me, minus the technicality of 'girl'.

Unless you start pulling in some other shit, you've defeated your own argument with that one.

I don't want to start the fight, cos I don't have the spoons for it, but I had to say something.

Honestly, you know how I know trans women are women? Same way I know I'm not. I can play the part, I even live the life and present femme and ain't out to anyone but family-- but at the end of the day, calling myself a woman feels like calling the sky green. It always did. I argued that I was neither boy nor girl when I was a child, any time anyone tried to put me in the boxes.

It feels incorrect to say that I'm a woman. Not wrong like morally, wrong like I'm telling a lie, or making something completely up and trying to pass it off like I know something. (I don't do things like that normally, nosiree, never ever have I talked out my ass like that.)

Kills me that Rowling said she would have transitioned when she was a kid.

Other TERF I know is specifically one that is also non-binary (she told me everyone feels this way when I told her I was.) Who was forced into a feminine role because of her upbringing and life and circumstances-- she is a woman to herself because she has played that role and suffered the consequences of being female. But she clearly feels neither male nor female by her own admission.

That's just as valid, by the way. I don't like it, but if she feels like a woman because she made a home in that box, that's her and her relationship with her gender. Or at least my take on it. That's for me to speculate idly upon with hopefully no repercussions to her.

Honestly, if that's her relationship with her gender, I can see why she would think trans women don't count-- she really is only a woman by socialization and has no basis of knowing the gender you are. If she thinks of trans woman as a non-binary person (remember, everyone feels like that.) who grew up without getting dismissed in favor of boys, or knocked up and married off to an abusive husband, or having to go listen to the old hens and help in the kitchen (I really do live in that kind of place.), she would have no reason to consider otherwise, and would indeed be angry that some other enby is gonna wear a different face and take on the mantle of oppression when they didn't live it their whole lives.

I dunno if I could explain to her that you just kinda are your gender and you pick up the messages aimed at your gender whether your current expected role is being hammered into you by your family or not.

Binary trans people still feel like they're in the wrong room, they still feel like there's something wrong with them because they're not fitting the mold, or because they want to fit the other mold. They don't even know what's wrong sometimes, they just feel out of place.

Finding the word 'genderqueer' was like finding shoes that fit for the first time in my life. Insisted on running around barefoot as much as I could before that.

Experiences can lead to gender, I guess? I don't see why not. It's an identity, after all, I will call myself an author eventually based off my life and the role I've assumed and actions I've taken. (In part coerced by the world around me cos prose is the only way I can actually express myself ably and meaningfully, and I can't fucking draw, which I believe because of the world around me.)

Better than your body, in any case. Wonky shit.

Cos cos cos I can't have babies anymore! I've never given birth, never nursed. I've heard I don't count until I point out that I could have if I had chosen to, then they backtrack cos once before is always, right?

One of my favorite things to do when I'm arguing gender is tell people I've got a dick. They can't know if I'm telling the truth, they can't challenge me on it. I'm dudely enough to pull it off, just a little short. Cos I said, I present femme, but I've got broad shoulders and a square jaw and a big presence, which is because my autistic ass never picked up on the micro aggressions and never shrank. (I do now, but I was a badass when I was a kid.)

So, what had happened, I was smoking weed, right, and I came across this nice big long angry terfy post (which is only terfy because of the interspersed tweets) where they were mad about the non-answers of "what is a woman". Cos frankly, there's a lot of ways to explain the various notions that surround "a woman is a woman" for whatever fucking reason.

And I checked the comments to see what their answers were, cos I figured since it's so obvious that they're angry about these actually pretty good attempts at condensing the idea of gender roles or dodging the question entirely; they'd all do that thing we do when someone is answering a question badly and correcting them.

And I guess in TERF circles, it's just a given, their adult female human thing, so it took a while for someone to say it.

On amongst the bunch, however, I saw the complaints about the idea that TERFs have a strict preconstructed idea of women.

I do not even run in these circles and I have seen the bullshit. Everything about trans women in sports. By itself.

But aside from that-- okay, so I'll take the bad faith. Excluding physical criteria, what is a woman?

Adult female human. Aight. Where does that say 'no trans allowed'?

Gametes are necessary for the first definition, but not the next one.

Also stop using prescriptivism to prove your point, words are measuring sticks and interchangeable and if your argument doesn't hold up outside of English, it's not a good one. This one is a rare exception that MIGHT but honestly, I don't know how to get pedantic in any other languages yet.

You can't tell chromosomes by fucking looking!!! It's an insult to fucking biology! Yeah, the outliars are outliars, but do you fucking realize how many even one percent is? How small a crowd a hundred people is?

Don't gatekeep womanhood. It's a whole fucking thing, everyone's is special. If you need some extra to share, mine is up for donation.

Heard the argument that if they're women without changing their bodies, why do they change their bodies. I actually do not know how one's mental image can be incongruous with their actual body, but this is because I live half ass dissociated and only kinda know what I look like. Playing with dollmakers has helped a little, but I do not know what I look like. I dunno if this is an autistic thing or an enby thing or a me thing, but I have to be reminded of my physical form.

I really do wonder how many TERFs are enbies or demis. I know it's not cool to chew on our own community like that, which is why I'm saying it in the middle of a high rant, but I do think that people without a strong sense of their own gender would be baffled by the conviction of a binary trans person. We feel just as male as female, maybe to varying degrees, so they wouldn't know or understand the sense of "AAAAGGHH GET IT OFF ME" some people can get about their gender. I didn't and I can't imagine the experience, and honestly it sounds like it fucking sucks. Enby privilege? Lol.

However, I can imagine that if one has a mental image of their body, and it includes a dick, and your actual body lacks a dick, it would feel like something missing. This thing that I'm supposed to have isn't there. The stuff that grows where it's not supposed to be, that GET IT OFF ME sense.

Mind you, this is half conjecture, but the conjecture is born from ages of listening in on these conversations. I'm not binary trans. I did try on boy for a while, but those shoes just fit badly in a different way.

If you're binary and never experienced any of the previous feelings, you're still valid.

Cis people don't worry about being trans enough.

Ugh. Some babyqueer tried to tell me not to use enby.

Like, I'm not always sure of myself in a social situation, I'm easy to cow in that sense, but. Like.

Don't fucking tell me how to identify myself. Sure, I'll stop using it for others, but fuck yourself telling me not to use it. I can't even remember if they said why it was problematic (I think it was the whole, 'kiddy' feel of the word) but they like actually said I should consider other words and shit.

Go fuck yourself. By the way. You in particular, asshole from Facebook last year.

Anyway. I need to plug my phone in and do the dishes. Figure out what music I wanna hear.

[seewetter]

"very much disagree that femme queer men aren't the targets of the idea of autogynephilia. the og works were about gay and straight crossdressers/transvestites and transsexual women were only added after the groups split more??"

That's a fair point. Blanchard stereotypes em all equally.

"even buffalo bill who people refer to as a trans woman stereotype is explicitly said to be a crossdresser and not a trans woman"

Sure, but people also use Deuteronomy (specifically about crossdressing) to attack trans people. When a horror film says "this fictional serial killer isn't transgender" they kind of undermine the message when they say "but this person thinks they're transgender". Like that's very much part of the text of the film, so it's not a clear example.

Also what do you mean by "even Buffalo Bill". That there are no psycho transfem characters in horror? Because I'm sorry to tell you, but horror is full of explicitly transfem monstrosities. Sleepover Camp isn't really about crossdressing, you know.

Maybe you mean "this misunderstanding that cis crossdressers aren't targets even extends to common misperceptions about the character of Buffalo Bill"? If so, that's a fair point, but it doesn't tell us what society is doing, just how people are sometimes not thinking about cis crossdressers as part of the narrative around this kind of violence. Which isn't ideal, but it's also probably not that dramatic.

"crossdressers are murdered at the same rate as trans women in the us at least? the ratio is 1:1 according to hate crime stats."

I can't find any information on this online. Do you have a source?

"sissy is still a prominent porn category where femme queer men are humiliated and made to serve ""het"" guys..." Sissy porn exists, but tranny porn is a mainstream porn genre, sissy porn (involving cis male crossdressers) exists at the fringes of that genre. Pornhub (the largest porn site & only porn site to publish porn statistics) says that tranny porn is the 5th most popular genre of pornography worldwide.

It's also worth noting that right-wingers don't all believe that trans women are men. Evangelical leader Pat Robertson believed that binary trans people simply have male or female souls in a different body. It's important to note that Robertson is an anti-gay extremist -- but also, that someone like Robertson probably treats transgender women as women, even if he clocks them as trans. The statements such a man makes about trans women will be reflective of his regressive right-wing views of women -- the treatment trans women receive from such right-wingers is obviously based on their patriarchal ideas about men-from-Mars-women-from-Venus or a-woman's-place-in-kitchen-a-man's-place-hunting-mammoth.

The idea that male crossdressers are treated identically is really not helpful.

"for the issue of a fuckin ceo guy saying ""it's okay i have xyz friends"" that doesn't mean he actually cares about these people."

If I nuke thousands of blogs, 90% of which belong to trans women, 10% of which belong to people speaking out to protect trans women and then say "it's okay, I have gay, lesbian and transgender male friends" then I am not deleting blogs of the entire LGBT community because most LGBT blogs on this website are unaffected. I'm also not dehumanizing or discriminating against the entire LGBT community. I'm not sending a message that the entire LGBT community bothers me.

I'm sending the message that I think it's ha-ha funny to target one specific LGBT demographic and none of the others.

Now that may seem random of him. Maybe this makes some people think: "the CEO of the self-proclaimed queerest place on the internet maybe is sending a message to all queer people by targetting a random subgroup".

But there's a wider cultural precedent to believe otherwise.

Trans men don't have their own Michfest: some big gay male event that tries to keep trans men out at all costs. The wider men's rights community is not intertwined with the queer community the way the feminist community is, so if a splinter group of MRAs or MGTOW suddenly had their transgender panic moment and decided to write "The Transsexual Empire Part 2" it would not come from the mouths of a the queer male equivalent of a "political lesbian" or "lesbian separatist". It was a trans woman (Sylvia Rivera) who tried to speak to a crowd of angry cis queers in 1972, trying to stop them from throwing her under a bus. She tried to kill herself the night after that speech and then spent 20 years in obscurity. 20 years in which mainstream "feminist" (TERF) opinion on trans women dominated the mainstream discourse in the queer community. These opinions didn't make transmascs or cis crossdressers out to be dangerous predators, they made trans women out to be patriarchal infiltrators of the only spaces (queer spaces, feminist spaces) that accepted them at a time when the rest of society regressed in its opinions on queerness (AIDS crisis).

When you read essays like "Hot Allostatic Load" or "Black Hot Allostatic Load" about transfems that get accused of being predators and have no recourse, with the entire queer community around them excluding them based on hearsay, you might think those stories are somehow not trustworthy, that the author is lying through her teeth to make herself look better. But these stories are credible precisely because they fit this larger cultural context: TERFs used to own the label "radical feminist". A radical feminist was by definition against trans women predators.

Even in the 90s and 00s, there was no voice for these women and non-binary people. When earlier this year a trans man literally wrote a pickup artist article describing how trans men are seen as harmless, non-dangerous men and can exploit that with trans women? That's a pretty clear sign this culture never went away, just as Black Hot Allostatic Load is. These essays illuminate the shadows that TERFism still throws on the perception not of cis male crossdressers or transmascs, but of transfems.

I don't know the Tumblr CEO, but I know that there are progressives who simply suspect that transgender people are self-deluded. Who therefore think that trans women are likely to be male predators. Who jump on chances they think will prove this.

"idk if cis people can tell someone they think is a femme queer man from a trans woman."

I don't know if Islamophobes realize Sikhs aren't Muslims. Sikhs have died from Islamophobia. A Sikh man was assassinated as revenge days after 9/11.

Do Drag Queens who are cis men get killed by transphobes? Of course! Have femme gay men been called tranny or experienced transphobia and transmisogyny? Sure.

Does that mean that Islamophobia really revolves around Sikhs or that transmisogynistic narratives about "men who think they're women" are directed at femme queer men? Does J.K. Rowling think much about femme queer men, based on her insane ramblings on Twitter? Does she spend money to stop femme queer men, because she doesn't understand the difference?

Transphobia is, in fact, real. Transmisogyny is, in fact, real. Transandrophobia is, in fact, real. Binarism is, in fact, real.

These social forces target specific groups. The words don't always fit reality neatly, sometimes the social forces work a bit different than we'd expect.

But yeah, femme queer guys are in danger these days. Even from transphobes and transmisogynists. But that doesn't mean they aren't, in many ways, not the intended target. Many Islamophobes would rather shoot a mosque than a Sikh temple and some wouldn't care, but none choose the Sikh temple unless (because they don't care) it was conveniently closer to them or something.

"no one thinks a man in the women's bathroom has good intents unless he has kids or something and even then these days i have personally watched fights happen in retail stores over this."

Ok do you think a trans woman with kids would ever be or have been fine using a female bathroom unless nobody clocks her? like that's my whole point

Are you seriously doubting that cis men ever got away with things transfem people didn't? WTF

"hmm the experimenting with femininity thing ("why do you think cis men just experiment with femininity? there are cis men who are gnc until the day they die. they were there at stonewall and they're still around?") was for you saying this:

So while you might be a man (or non-binary person) experimenting with femininity, transphobes are going to try and figure out whether you are what they think of as a "fake",

Look. Cis men are not a monolith. Some cis men crossdress for life. Transphobes/transmisogynist bigots hate them and are violent to them.

But people who oppose crossdressing have a broader anxiety: about the dangers crossdressing causes to existing gender roles or to perceptions of gender. They fear a world were gender roles aren't what they used to be or what they still are or (in the case of TERFs) they paint the picture of a feminist movement infiltrated by men pretending to be women who stop feminism from advancing and pose a constant danger to women.

This fear of crossdressers belays an even deeper fear: what if people forget what gender even is? What if they abandon what it is supposed to mean? What if men say they are women and vice versa? What if "gender confusion" overtakes society. "A world were men are women or women are men" is according to them a world were up is down and down is up.

Sometimes, these groups will target crossdressers: like Drag Queen Story Hour or like the genocidal legal efforts in Florida.

But often, these groups have it out for "gender ideology". Leading right-wing figures wanted to rebrand the "drag queens" as "trans strippers". That's not a coincidence. It's not an accident. They thought it would make people more fearful and angry. More hateful.

Cis crossdressers who crossdress for life are, of all cis people, the most directly affected by transphobia.

But that's like saying "Sikhs that go visit Mosques weekly and have a deep affinity for Islam are most directly affected by anti-Muslim hatecrime". Does that mean we stop calling it anti-Muslim hatecrime? Stop discussing how crossdressing is part and parcel of transgender culture? And how transgender culture evokes the larger fear?

Should we really ignore the impact of decades of TERFs spreading "male crossdresser bathroom predator" myths, when suddenly trans women find their Tumblr accounts deleted or when trans male pickup artists reveal that they live in a queer bubble of people who only think of trans men as safe men (and presumably think of trans women as unsafe women).

TERFs spew rhetoric that often excludes cis men who crossdress from their anger! Is that a guarantee of safety? Of course not! But it does have effects. If you think cis male crossdressers have targets on their backs, you'd be right. But if that thought is taken to mean that trans women are not more vulnerable than those cis men, that's taking the idea way too far. Transphobes want trans people. They don't think crossdressing is gender confusion, they think gender identity is gender confusion. They think gender confusion will end society, they don't think "changing fashion" (crossdressing) will end society. Do transphobes often blur the lines and call crossdressers groomers? Sure, and Islamophobes often blur the lines and go on furious rants about Mohammed's child bride in front of confused Sikhs. The target is trans people / Muslims. The victims (and sometimes the secret target) is also everyone they can hurt who is similar to their target. But don't tell me that the main purpose of transmisogyny is to hurt queer femme guys. Or that the main purpose of it is to hurt cis male crossdressers who crossdress for life. They get hurt, they get killed, they matter. But they are not in the eye of the storm.

"cis men are tme" - I think I have some problems with this idea but I'm not sure they make sense. I don't think cis men as a whole are 100% tme bc. I went to an extremely conservative religious high school. In places like that, being anything close to feminine as a man, even if you were 100% cishet, was absolutely unacceptable. Like you would be bullied by your peers and staff for just. DARING to use a pink pen in class. If that isn't a form of transmisogyny that affects cis men, idk what is.

No one is TME.

[omglr]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like pro-choice, pro-life, feminism, and feminist.

Stranger: hey

You: hi

You: pro choice?

Stranger: how are you?

Stranger: nope

You: i am good, and pro-choice

Stranger: glad to hear that you're good

You: great

Stranger: feminist too I take it?

You: sure, you?

Stranger: nope

You: yeah, makes sense i suppose

You: you a dude?

Stranger: yes and you?

You: nope, i am a woman

Stranger: alright

Stranger: what's your thoughts on sterlization?

You: it up to the person being sterilized if they wanna do it

Stranger: do you think it should be more freely accessable?

You: sire

You: sure

Stranger: so that women can't be turned down "because you might regret it later on"

You: yeah, that's fair

Stranger: well, least we have something we agree on

You: i mean, getting your tubes tied is reversable but not 100% success rates

You: IUDs work well too, but not in all women

Stranger: what about removing ovaries?

You: if they want them removed, but it provides hormones to the body as far as i understand

You: so with informed consent sure

You: i think there should be better birth control messures for men too

You: like vascectomies are easy to preform but harder to reverse

You: it would be cool if they could just clamp off the tub rather than sever it

You: or something,

Stranger: I mean, doing that is the same as removal of the ovaries...isn't just a means to produce sperm

You: a vasectomy is different than an orchiectomy

Stranger: it still leads to a reduction of hormone production

You: with a vasectomy they just cut the tube provide sperm from the balls to the vas deferins

You: testosterone still goes to your blood

Stranger: less is produced though

You: and your balls are still producing it

You: i don't think that is true, but idk for sure

Stranger: it does

You: i'm gonna look it up

You: "Myth: Testosterone Levels Will Decrease - True, the testicle makes both sperm and testosterone. The difference is, the testicle makes testosterone and transports it through the bloodstream, not the vas deferens. Testosterone levels don't go down as a result of vasectomy"

You: this is a confusing answer google

You: https://www.verywellhealth.com/myths-about-vasectomy-3300169

You: that's better for full context

You: yeah, that actually thats so weird, in the article its like "its a myth that testosterone ddecreases. True, that this sencence isn't dependent on the last sentence"

You: anyway, its cool I had a vasectomy when i was 24, and at 27 started getting my testosterone rates checked out and they were very high

You: it took a lot of spironalactone to get it close to zero

You: and eventually an orchiectomy solved it for good

Stranger: ??

You: but yeah, I'm a transsexual

You: there should be birth control meassures for cis guys too

You: ones that are reversable or short term (6 months)

Stranger: it is being researched into, the issue is most of the results come back with dangerous side effects that make it unusable

Stranger: or at the very least, not worth while

You: yeah, its hard to read that and be like... have people not heard of the side effects of women's birth control?

You: it can be pretty rough on them

You: but, idk, i hope they figure something out

Stranger: yea...and the side effects that are being found for male birth control are A. worse B. permanent

Stranger: we've still got protection and birth control, which I'm not against

Stranger: I'm only against termination of a infant because of inconvenience

You: yeah its cool, getting abortions sucks for sure

Stranger: abortions aren't birth control, they're birth terminations

You: its not as harsh as killing a toddler

Stranger: doesn't mean it's not harsh

You: yeah, but also meh

Stranger: killing a rapist is not as harsh as killing a shop lifter...it's still harsh

Stranger: and no, I'm not saying the rapist should not be punished

You: i think people who get raped should be able to kill their rapist

Stranger: I think people who get raped should be able to squeeze every penny from the rapist and his family for the damages he's done

You: yeah thats cool too

You: but rapists have a hard time getting convicted of anything

You: the world is wild

Stranger: innocent until proven guilty

Stranger: the world is wild, the world is undfair

Stranger: unfair*

You: yeah, and women are sluts until proven otherwise too

Stranger: no

Stranger: they're innocent until proven guilty...same rules apply

Stranger: that's what happens when you let mob rule win

You: eh... maybe its just a misunderstanding, who wouldn't want to fuck the football guy

You: if it was so bad why did you wait to tell anyone?

You: oh, when you went to the police they laughed at you?

You: etc.

You: etc.

Stranger: nice straw men

You: that shit happens all the time though

Stranger: you know what also happens?

Stranger: people lying about being raped to "take revenge"

You: eh, i mean dudes like to say that happens a lot , but i've never heard of it

Stranger: do I need to get reports up of it happening?

You: i mean its annecdotal, but i've been a live for a long time, and a lot of my friends have been raped, but i really don't think anyone made it up, and none of the rapists were ever really held accountable either

You: so, not sure how it works as a revenge scheme

Stranger: how old are you?

You: 35

Stranger: and how many places do you exist in one time?

You: i am legion

You: yeah man anyway i said it was annecdotal

Stranger: exactly...except I'm not denying that your annecdotal stuff doesn't exist...only that you were setting up strawmen to try and win your argument

Stranger: you on the otherhand are denying it exists

You: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2018/10/06/less-than-percent-rapes-lead-felony-convictions-least-percent-victims-face-emotional-physical-consequences/?utm_term=.d9b7ee3fd931

You: i don't know, does this happen to your friends? are any of the dudes getting called rapists?

You: "but aren't"

Stranger: if you must know...yes, one of my friends was falsely accused...how do I know it was false...the time she said it was happening, we were at his house

You: lucky he has an alibi

Stranger: yes he was

You: what were the concequences of that

Stranger: he had to leave town

You: that sucks

You: how old was he?

Stranger: 19 at the time

You: and the record was never set straight?

Stranger: all he had was mine and his word against hers

Stranger: how are you going to set something straight without evidence for or against

You: why do you think she wanted revenge?

Stranger: he'd "neglected her" having been spending more time with me than her the past couple of months

You: and how are they both doing now?

Stranger: I avoid her at every possible turn, I'd lost contact with him not too long after he left

You: welp, that sucks

You: i guess the FBI says that about 2% of rape / sex charges are determined to be false

Stranger has disconnected.

Me still typing anyway: and that's the same percentage as other felonies....

WEBSITE quote i was looking at: Only about 2% of all rape and related sex charges are determined to be false, the same percentage as for other felonies (FBI). So while they do happen, and they are very problematic when they do, people claim that allegations are false far more frequently than they are and far more frequently than for other crimes. Put another way, we are much more likely to disbelieve a woman if she says she was raped than if she says she was robbed, but for no good reason.

On a related note, only about 40% of rapes are ever reported to the police, and this is partly because victims know that if their claim becomes public, their every behavior will be scrutinized, they will be shamed for their sexual history, and they will be labeled as lunatic, psychotic, paranoid, and manipulative. Just because someone does not report their crime does not mean it did not happen. Furthermore, only one in two claims lead to prosecution, so if the DA decides not to prosecute, that says nothing about whether or not it happened. (http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/reporting-rates)

Quote from: https://web.stanford.edu/group/maan/cgi-bin/?page_id=297