#honestly i needed this to be said bc im still confused

[simpel-is]

honestly this post, esp the part at the beginning, had me thinking

i had to go through a culture shock knowing how apparently slurs are more normalized in america (whether in bigotry or otherwise), how they're said everywhere in certain parts and apparently its "either you care or you dont" which is sort of a simplification of reality but its just shocking to me that straight, cis people can throw around slurs with little to no consideration of the outside world (the most prime example are group chats with guys, and im still conflicted on that)

bc the world isn't america. in asia its fucking rough. i still freeze and flinch when someone says the f slur (unless ik them to be explicitly queer), i still roll my eyes when someone calls someone else gay in a sort of playful degrading manner, because i focus on the degrading part

i still hold firm the belief that slurs, especially queer slurs, shouldn't be said by people who don't know or haven't experienced the full extent of our trauma. im jealous and can't comprehend how those people can say those slurs without flinching, without consideration of the word's history and how it's been used and how it's STILL being used in the world to degrade people like me in other parts of the world

im in a discord server with lots of americans, and i see them joking about shit like saying the n word, calling each other gay, throwing around the t slur, that type of shit, and i look in confusion bc i cant tell if theyre being ignorant, normalized bigotry or secure knowing they say that shit without any malicious intentions

when people throw out queer slurs, in my experience at least, queer people stay silent. they throw a blind eye, and i can't tell if it's because they don't care or if they're too afraid to say something

The Knowing: Being Queer in BL

I’ve been talking about The Knowing a lot lately with @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup and so I felt it was time to gather all those thoughts into one place.

I define The Knowing as “growing up and suffering with the knowledge that you are queer (specifically that you are not like other kids) and understanding that you must keep that knowledge to yourself.”

Part of what initially drew me to BL was how often many of these shows took place in what @absolutebl calls “The Bubble” where cultural and structural homophobia is less prevalent or nonexistent. Many of these stories are about guys learning something about themselves for the first time when it comes to being attracted to other men. However, I always find myself drawn to the characters that clearly Knew who they were a long time ago. What’s interesting about these characters is that many of them carry an intense sadness and loneliness that plagues them and their relationships.

I am in my mid-30s. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of language over the decades. When I first realized I was different from other kids I was eight years old. I was a lot like Chiron in Moonlight (2016) asking the question, “What’s a faggot?” I wish I’d had someone like Juan around to say, “A faggot is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” To which Chiron asked, “Am I a faggot?” and Juan quickly corrected. “Nah. You can be gay, but you ain’t gotta let nobody call you no faggot.” I know it’s hard for some of you to read slurs written out so plainly, but I grew up with them being part of the day-to-day language used by kids around me. If you instinctively recoiled at me typing the word four times, imagine experiencing that constantly for your entire adolescence while also fearing the consequences of being discovered by your peers. That’s what I survived. That’s what some of these boys survived.

Before I learned other words, I thought I was weird or broken. I knew I was drawn to boys before I even hit puberty, but I didn’t have language for existing on the ace-spectrum until I joined Tumblr in the early 2010s. Before that I just thought there was something wrong with me. When we see a character in BL who has clearly been gay for a long time, I find myself examining the environment around them to see if they suffered The Knowing.

The worst part of The Knowing is for the boys who can pass as straight if they try hard enough. I always talk about how I think femmes are stronger than those of us (like me) who can pass. They face the public scrutiny of being queer and the danger of that constantly. People like me often go unnoticed unless we’re amongst our peers or explicitly tell people who we are.

I’m writing this post as a love letter to the boys who suffered the Knowing. Sometimes these characters get a bad reputation in fandom for being boring or sad sacks, but they are the characters I love the most. I’d like to talk about some of my favorite boys who Knew. Unsurprisingly, the exact kind of melancholy Japan is willing to play with means they have strong presence on this list.

Korn (Until We Meet Again)

Korn is the character who began my discussion about this in a conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist about Kao’s acting. I pointed out that the saddest thing about Korn in Until We Meet Again is that he knew what he was going to do the entire time. The tragedy of UWMA is that Korn loved Intouch and let him in, and unfortunately learned that Intouch’s love couldn’t fix the horrors that plagued him. You can see it in Kao’s eyes for the entire show whenever we see the In and Korn flashbacks. He suffers under the weight of masculine expectation and crumbles.

The Entire Cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday?

WDYEY is all about characters who Knew. Kenji and Wataru may have been unable to pass and have chosen to accept who they are, but we know Wataru suffered for it because of his feelings about family. Shiro hid who he was for a very long time, and still hides it from most people. His trauma from The Knowing regularly threatens his relationship with Kenji. Kohinata also clearly knew who he was the entire time, and works diligently for the life he’s built for himself. So much of this show is about being gay in a world that does not value us.

Book, Christina, and Yok (Make It Right)

Book is actively victimized because of The Knowing. He left his previous school and doesn’t live with his family because he was outed by a past boyfriend, and is disowned after revenge porn of him is posted.

Both Chrstina and Yok are femme and cannot pass. Unlike many of the boys in this show figuring out who they are, they are trying to survive without losing themselves.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Li Ming has a gay uncle and still suffers The Knowing. He is hiding his attraction from everyone until he develops feelings for Heart.

Itou Akira (Life: Love on the Line)

We experienced the entire arc of this man’s life and how much The Knowing crushed him. This is probably the most The Knowing character on the list.

Oumi Mitsuru (Eternal Yesterday)

Oumi has such a frank expression of The Knowing and how much it hurts that he likes Koichi but feels like he can’t express it.

Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari)

The man literally blogs about The Knowing, and it’s how Sakuko began to understand herself. He has a questionnaire prepared to help you figure out how long you’ve Known.

Ren (Tokyo in April Is…)

I wrote multiple posts about Ren and his experience with The Knowing. So much of what goes wrong for them is because Ren couldn’t believe that Kazuma could like him, too, and he knowingly faced the consequences of being discovered to save Kazuma’s life.

Pete (Love by Chance)

Pete knows who he is and can’t change it. Trump uses this against him. Pete doesn’t want Ae to be gay like him and suffer with the realities of being a Known Gay. Pete has one of the first coming out scenes in BL that I really enjoyed.

Cairo (Gameboys)

Cairo was clearly struggling with Knowing, and his close friend took his coming out from him. Cairo is a brat, but goddamn do I appreciate some of his angst.

See-eiw (My Only 12%)

He watched The Love of Siam (2007) and had a complete emotional breakdown as he was finally able to name his feelings for Cake. Top-tier expression of The Knowing.

Shin (3 Will Be Free)

I mean, we don’t have to look much further than his entire sad existence and being pushed into sex with a prostitute in the first episode. Also there’s, “It wasn’t that you didn’t like boys. You just didn’t like me.” Shin is the only boy in BL-adjacent media to suffer a specific version of The Knowing: being rejected and discarded by your own people in a homophobic way so they could stay closeted.

Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Phupha’s entire romantic angst is built around The Knowing and what others seeing him for who he is will do for him.

Pran (Bad Buddy)

Though Bad Buddy exists in The Bubble, Pran has one of the most painful versions of The Knowing I’ve ever experienced because his is wrapped up in family angst and an unrequited crush.

Lee Wan (Our Dating Sim)

Lee Wan suffered The Knowing and broke things with his best friend after confessing. The Knowing destroyed his ability to see a version of his life where he and Shin Kitae overcame the upcoming challenges together and so he takes that choice from Kitae. Crushing.

Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)

Minoru is so familiar with The Knowing that he preemptively breaks up with Yutaka after kissing him.

Kiyoi (My Beautiful Man)

The reveal that Kiyoi already knew who he was and noticed Hira the entire time? Beautiful. One of the best reveals in J-BL history.

Minato (Minato’s Laundromat)

This man is one of the sadder examples of The Knowing because he’s in a place where he understands who he is now, but the internalized homophobia cripples almost all of his romantic and closer relationships.

Han Baram (Sing My Crush)

This boy is suffering so much from The Knowing that his love confession song is literally titled “Letter of Apology.”

Oh-aew (I Told Sunset About You)

He Knew. “Are you proud of me?”

Noh Shinwoo and Shin Daon (Light On Me)

Noh Shinwoo clearly suffered The Knowing and was discovered. His bullies still plague him on the streets when they see him. Shin Daon was not surprised by his attraction to Woo Taekyung; he struggled with his parents expectations.

Nagisa (His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love)

Nagisa definitely Knew who he was and was probably going to stay quiet about it until Shun showed up in his life. What upsets me so much about Nagisa is that he is the one who leaves Shun later in the movie after pulling queerness out of Shun.

The Secret Crush on You Quartet

All four of them get a spot on this list for The Knowing. Toh, Kaojao, and Daisy clearly suffered The Knowing, and Som has clearly taken care of them for a long time.

Rocky and Judah (Quaranthings)

I love that these two explore The Knowing from a class perspective. Judah is wealthier and eventually comes out, but Rocky is poor and struggles with it a lot longer.

Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook (Where Your Eyes Linger)

The Knowing, bodyguard edition. The yearning between the two of these is palpable. It hurts that they can’t even talk to each other about it.

Mafuyu (Given)

He Knew and lost his boyfriend to The Knowing.

Kim Dong Hee (Unintentional Love Story)

He won’t acknowledge Go Ho Tae’s feelings because he feels a sense of loyalty to Ho Tae’s mom for taking care of him after his parents disowned him over the gay thing. Huge case of The Knowing.

Edit: New Additions October 7, 2023.

Nekoyashiki Mamoru (Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)

He describes a textbook case of the Knowing and finding community at the convention.

Zo (Hidden Agenda)

He definitely Knew, and got messed over by his friends badly for it.

Yuuki (Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend)

We almost lost Yuuki to the Knowing.

All of the Eclipse Gays

Literally all of them. The entire show is about how fascism turns queer people into agents working against their own community.

Joe (The Warp Effect)

He clearly Knew before his encounter with Army, and he also suffered for being outed.

[fardf150]

fuck

[irndad]

hi im back! okey so def can see spencer still wanting to hug and snuggle with you even when fighting or mad at each other. he even gets genuinely ??? confused ??? when you try to sleep on the couch instead of in bed at night. he holds you and either reader or him is like "i know we are snuggling right now but i am still super pissed off at you." lol i can just see it. he may be petty when mad but he wont stop trying to touch you bc its a biological need of his and no argument is more important than needing you 🥺

enjoy this I did it very fast!!!! ily

He knows he’s not easy to be with sometimes. She would never say it, but it’s true. He doesn’t always get the jokes, sometimes pushes things too far and without even knowing it the ground gets pulled out from under him. 

And sleep- Sleep is so complicated. The memory of the first time she slept in his bed is etched into a place he could never erase. Spencer had always had trouble sleeping, either fear or alertness plaguing him into the late hours of the night. He used to lie awake, the kind of exhausted that feels like it’s seeping out of your bones, while constantly facts he’d unwittingly memorized about how sleep deprivation can cause brain damage. 

But then she’d come into his life. All soft words and gentle disposition, and there really is something magic about the way that everything just dissipates when her warm, soft body curves into his own. He’s slept well almost every night since. 

Except today, she isn’t coming to bed. 

It’s his fault, and he knows it. He wasn’t being fair. She hadn’t seen him for two weeks (and he hadn’t slept nearly enough without the weight of her form beside him since the last time he saw her) and she’d said that she wanted to be prioritized more. 

“I haven’t seen you in weeks, Spence!”

His head was killing him. Was it actually possible, for a headache to kill you? Her voice is audibly upset, and it’s alarming how he could be the cause of it. 

“Please,” he had said through labored effort, “Can we talk about this later?” 

“When would you like to talk about it? Because I don’t ever know if you’re leaving-“

“Do you even know what it is that I do?  That it’s not a choice for me to go? I have to do this. I can’t pick and choose and honestly, I don’t want to. If you don’t get that, we’re not doing what I thought we were doing.”

It sounds foreign, his own voice. And it’s after he’s said it that the sick taste reaches his throat because oh, that means the end. Her lovely face is unreadable for a brief moment, before something like grief splays over her expression.

It’s silent for a beat, and Spencer wishes he could swallow the words back up, rewind his life like a battered VHS tape where he’s not so stupid to mess up the one thing that’s ever brought him peace.

“You’re not yourself, Spencer. I’m gonna give you a minute.”

A minute, it turns out, is hours in the living room. She hadn’t left, thank fucking god, but she hadn’t come back. Of course she hadn’t. She wasn’t the one who needed to apologize. 

He’s just so tired. 

He thinks of her so-sweet voice, the curve of cheek- the junction of her neck and shoulder, and how much he would like to have her pressed against him. He pads out into the living room like a nervous puppy, and sees her sleeping on the olive green couch she had picked out. Her hair was splayed across the arm of the sofa, and her head laid on a throw pillow, their fuzziest blanket draped across her form. 

His first thought is how low he’s dropped, that he’s jealous of a blanket. 

His second his that she is not coming to bed. He sits beside her gingerly, and the scent of her body wash lingers in the air. 

“Are you planning on coming to bed?”

“I didn’t think you’d want me to.” He can tell she wants to sound cold, but the truth is much worse; she sounds guarded. 

“I always want you to.” It’s the most honest thing he’s said today, and it’s just not fair, how much he revolves around her. How he has waited 14 days, 13 hours and 34 minutes to hold her again and managed to ruin it within the first 20 minutes of having seen her again. He grabs her hand, soft and pliant against his in a way that almost makes his heart leap. “Please? Come to bed?”

Her gaze softens, the warmth and light that guides him back in her eyes, and he hopes his relief isn’t too visible. It’s then that she drinks him in. It feels too revealing like she can see right through him. His clothes are old. He’d rushed off the jet to see her, and the half moon circles under his eyes only lend to the unimpressive picture of himself. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” she breathes, touching the side of his face. He instantly leans into it, the contact more than he’d be willing to give up to save his dignity. “Come here.”

She wraps her arms around him, and he pulls her into his lap, squeezing her tight to his chest, like she might disappear. 

“I’m still mad at you,” she says, looking at him with such affection it betrays her words.

“That’s okay,” he says into her collarbone, “As long as I still have you.”

[elfarons]

OKAY BUT DAD!REN WALK WITH MEEE

cw: gn!reader, fluff, body insecurity, lowkey just a mashup of dilf ren teehee

it took a while to get ren to open up, but you stayed persistent and got them to rely on you for their more vulnerable moments. ren confessed he never saw himself with kids, or worthy of being a parent with you, but after years of just the two of you, you both decide to raise a child.

ren had no more time to overthink the small things because his family was top priority, what with all the late nights taking turns rocking the baby to sleep, staying consistent on feeding and nap times, and everything that comes with raising a human.

as time went on, he would indulge his little family with anything they wanted. going to all his kids school plays, or going to drop off lunch for you at work. all the movie nights of buckets of popcorn or eating all the junk food when out somewhere with you guys.

you guys were his world.

---

but sometimes ren forgets that he's in this together with you.

while in the line for a ferris wheel at an amusement park, you notice him zipping up his jacket and glancing at some of the other younger couples, "i thought you said it's burning hot?"

"i just think the outfit looks better like this dont'cha think?" he ruffles your kids hair when they nod at him, but you know it's deeper.

you pry a bit more and eventually ren relents, "it's just... i look so different from when we first met, and i'm just wondering if i'm still attractive to you..."

you felt guilty for not noticing ren becoming more self conscious and how they didn't wanna burden you with it.

you reassure them that you accept them no matter what, and honestly all you noticed was how good of a dad he's been! you barely noticed that his stomach is a bit more round, his arms a bit bigger, and the hair that now covers nearly all of his skin

but you are IN LOVE WITH IT!

he can easily carry a baby in each hand, he keeps you all super warm in your sleep as the family's heater, and he just looks so adorable fussing over your small children when he's basically a walking mountain.

he's just an amazing parent and his body is physical proof of his love.

---

on a normal day, you would wake up and cook breakfast because you can't trust ren. but one day, you wake up to the sound of ren and your spawn in the kitchen.

wait, ren is cooking?!

you bolt out of bed and run down the hallway to the kitchen, and once you turn the corner, you're.... confused?

ren is sitting on his heels with his head down and letting one of your kids scold him, "papa, i told you a billion times to only use one-four cup, not a full cup! are you trying to kill mama?!" ren shakes his head in shame and puts his head on the floor, going along with their antics, "i am sincerely sorry, sweetie. please do not speak of this to your mom."

you stifle a giggle and walk away to let him handle it, hearing the exchange eventually end with your kid taking over the kitchen and ren as their assistant.

when you finish your morning routine, you go back to the kitchen and ren gives you a special version of their pancakes, with your favorite toppings and your favorite drink.

"you two are so sweet! what is this for?"

the smaller copy of ren smiles wide, and excitedly says, "i watched papa makeyour favorite! he said it's because you make him feel better about himself."

ren nods and adoringly gazes at you, "you helped me through all my problems no matter how small, so i wanted to show you how much i appreciate you"

you kiss both of their cheeks and you all start digging in, ren and the head chef high fiving under the table when you point out how delicious it tastes.

ren thought he'd never make a good parent, but it comes so naturally. you love them even more for it.

author's note: ok hi i literally made this in like an hour bc we talked about him for literally like 10 mins and im CRAZY i need him so byad,, but i hope you guys like this mess :3c

ty kami + cybele for the inspo on the cooking part !!

dividers by @/enchanthings

[yunazxxx]

heyyyy im a silence reader (always voting for your posts tho !!) I love your wooork so much, you were the first writer I followed on here, thank you for your love for the katseye girlies !!

also idk if you're taking requests rn but can i suggest a marz one where one day Lara sees Manon and Sophie make out by accident, and it makes her see Manon in a different light so she starts avoiding her bc she's scared of what she's feeling and like a week later or something Manon is sick of Lara ignoring her so she enters the bathroom while lara is taking a shower and confronts her about it (since it's the only place Lara can't escape from), Lara clumsily puts her towel on and confess ashamed but like Manon reassures her and kisses her bc she also has feelings for her and like they fuck in the bathroom right after

ps: if you don't like the prompt it's fine I'm not good at it sorry 😭 but can we pls have another hot/smut marz one, we are in a drought :((

pairing ≫ lara rajagopalan x meret manon (ft. sophie)

content warnings ≫ cheating , bathroom sex , slight angst , lara's crushing , established relationship (situationship/fwb) , getting caught , cunnilingus , slight argument but also toxicity? ,, etc maybe?

word count ≫ over 2.7k

author talks ≫ firstly would like to say merry christmas/happy holidays to those who don’t celebrate! i hope you’re all safe and doing well — now with the fic i wanna say i did go a little off plot but its still with the plot for the most part. — btw you did fine don’t worry i rlly enjoyed writing this!!

—

it was a dark snowy night in their city, tempatures dropping to about -1 degrees celcius, so much snow on the floor that even the roofs were covered on every inch, the build up of sniow was honestly surprising.

the girls of katseye gathered in their living room, it was christmas eve and although they all come from different parts of the worls and celebrate different holidays and celebrate christams differently, they managed a way to celebrate it all the same.

sophie and lara were missing, once again inside of the kitchen, making dinner for the girls. lara would peak out sometimes, looking at the brunette girl who she had been crushing on for the last seven months easy, or that's when lara really realized she liked her.

lara also knew of manon's "friend", sophie. lara never had a problem with the woman, why would she?

oh, because she's fucking manon.

lara always kept the fact it bothered her to herself, but while they were cooking and something was almost burning under lara's care, sophia had to ask her after she fixed the situation. "daniela?" sophia called out and daniela left from where she was, coming over to the pair.

"mhm?" she answered, "could you watch this stuff please? we need to talk" sophia said, pointing between her and lara, and daniela nodded. sophia grabbed lara's hand and they ran off to another room, not wanting to have that converation in front of the others.

"what's been going on? you've been so discombobulated" sophia said, her facial expressions following as she spoke, "it's just.." lara said, trailing off trying not to say what the actual problem was but sophia could easily read that girl like a book.

"its sophie" sophia said, her voice flat, but not like emotionless, lara looked at the black haired woman, "what..? no?" lara tried lying but sophia just looked at her until she admitted, "okay, yeah, sophie" lara said, she took a deep breath after saying this.

"but, why?" sophia wasn't all too confused, her and lara talked often, but this was something she never really got information on. "why are you like this over sophie? did she do something? do i need to kick her out?" sophia asked but lara shook her head "no no, its nothing. just, please?"

sophia nodded, "lets finish cooking then, i'm sure the girls are hungry" and lara smiled, "yeah" as the pair walked down the hallway, lara had to break off to grab something from her room, while she searched, she remembered that she gave it to daniela.

lara ran to the front asking daniela for it and she said it was in the room, lara wasn't paying much attention to anything around her, she just wanted to make sure she got what she needed. lara just casually opened the door like she would every other time.

but stopped dead in her tracks, she saw manon and sophie, kissing. manon's shirt was off, and sophie's pants were missing, sophie was on top of manon with her hands moving all over her body. lara quickly shut the door, her heart both racing but it also dropped.

she went to her room, holding back her tears while "looking" for something, but she really wasn't, she wanted to distract herself because megan was in the room now, "woah woah" megan said when she saw lara, "what happened?"

megan looked so worried and it made lara feel bad, "i just, got something in my eye" lara said, smiling while a tear trinkled down her cheek, "l-let me see, do you need eye drops?" megan asked, her voice starting to panick a bit.

"no no no no, i'm good megan, thank you" lara said, holding her hand to prevent the ginger girl from running away, "are you sure? it's no issue really" megan said but lara stayed content wit her answer and megan let it go.

lara and megan walked from their bedroom, to the places in the house they just were. sophia succefully distracted lara while they cooked, they were playing and laughing a lot, even making references to lara's old cooking/baking channel.

slowly the night began to turn into early morning, it was already 2am and yoonchae was dozing off, "yoonchae?" sophia said to her younger while the brown haired girl's head was resting on her lap, "mm?" she could only reply, too tired to form words.

"megan?" lara tapped her roommate, "hm?" megan looked up from the puzzle she was doing, "could you take yoonchae upstairs?" and the ginger woman nodded, taking yoonchae and guiding the young girl upstairs.

manon and sophie had been downstairs for a while now, lara rolling her eyes each time she looked over at the couple, it wasn't like she hated them but the having to act nonchalant was her only other way to cope with this.

it was almost three when sophie announced she'd be leaving, all the girl's gave sophie a hug while lara left to the kitchen, before sophie left she came up to lara, "g'night" sophie said and hugged her and lara could feel herself physically cringe at this.

"yea, goodnight" lara said, hugging sophie back, happy once she finally broke off of her. manon walked sophie to her car and they stayed out there for a bit, lara catching them sharing another kiss before sophie drove off.

something about that sight made lara feel sick to her stomach, and right when lara was about to sleep, she saw a message in the groupchat with their staff, saying they have a video to record for youtube for their fans to see.

lara shut off her phone, sighing because she couldn't stand being around manon right now but it's for the cameras.

the nex morning came, sophia calling for a house meeting to make sure everyone knows about the scheduele. normally when house meetin were called, the girls would gatherup, megan and daniela sittting together, yonchae and sophia and of course lara and manon, but lara stood beside the leader instead of sitting by manon.

this didn't really strike manon as weird behaviour, but still she took note of this, it wasn't until they were on set for the video when she saw how weird lara was acting towards her. lara was the last on set because she finished getting ready later than the rest of the girls.

lara would be so talkative with everyone but manon, she would be physical with everyone but manon when there were no cameras on them but right when she noticed that red light on the cameras she was all over manon like she would be normally.

this had been going on for so long, manon got tired of it, lara had avoided her off cameras for at least a month now but this was really fucking with her.

after they got home, lara rushed to the shower, wanting to rid herself after the hours of filimg, manon also following behind her. the brunette tip toed inside of lara's room, opening the bathroom before closing it behind her.

"megan?" lara said through the water running on her body, "could you grab my hair mask?" lara asked, and manon grabbed, but got undressed first, lara had her eyes closed while she ran water through her red hair.

manon handed the mask to her while sneaking inside, "lara.." manon said and it made the red haired woma freeze in her actions, looking at manon, "h-hey" manon stared at the redhead for a bit, "why have you been ignoring me?" manon asked but lara just sighed, "not here manon"

manon's eyebrows furrowed, "what do you mean not now?" and lara sighed again, "let me shower in peace" she answered, her voice emotionless. "manon clenched her jaw before swallowing, "fine" she got out of the shower, collecting her clothes and sitting on lara's bed until she was out.

megan was inside of the room when manon walked out, her hair was slightly wet, "hey? do you need the hair dryer, or a wtowel?" megan offered but manon shook her head, she lied down on lara's bed for a while, looking up at the cieiling before asking, "megan?"

"yeah?" the ginger aswered, "has lara been acting, strange, lately? like anything you've noticed?" and megan shook her head, "mno, not really. is she alright?" and manon nodded, "yeah, yeah she's fine, it's just been... odd?" and megan tilted her head, "what do you mean?"

"it's nothing megan, could you go for a bit? we need to talk" the redhead interrupted, and megan got up, walking out odf the room. lara was fresh out of the shower, her body still wrapped inside of the towel while her skin glistened, steam coming from her body like an arua.

manon looked at the woman, the anger but guilt was telling on her face. lara looked through her closet, fishing for clothes to put on while manon struggled to get her words together, "so, what? you can say it now." lara said while she was searching through the closet.

"why have you been avoiding me?" manon flat out said, making lara pause, "that's really a question?" lara said as she continue searching, "yes! you've been so weird to me lately, ever since that night sophie was here, you've been acting so different"

"you must assume every emotion i experience has something to do with you or that bitch" lara said camly which took manon by surprise, "what?" manon said, still trying to process the words that left the younger's mouth, "i mean, you're right. how would you feel if you walked in on your crush sleeping with someone"

lara said, shrugging her shoulders while she slipped on the clothes she found, manon closed her eyes and sighed, opening them to be met with lara's brown eyes, calmly rested while she waited for the brunettes response.

"why didn't you say something sooner?" manon asked, "do i have to say everything? spell it out for you? do you not feel the same?" lara asked, her voice raising towards the end, "of course you don't, you're with sophie" lara said, her voice as bitter as over brewed tea.

manon swallowed, "obviously, you have nothin to say" lara said and scoffed, walking away to the bathroom to finish drying her hair and styling it. manon followed her, "i do feel the same, lara" making the red haired woman scoff, "right, whatever you say"

manon walked closer to her and snaked her arms around the angered woman's waist, gently kissing her neck through the small space not covered by her hair. lara's head feel back against manon's shoulder, "this won't always work, you know that" lara said

"i know, but it will this time and that's all i need" manon softly whispered against lara's skin, making her tingle. "m-manon, we can't" lara tried pushing he off, her words weren't following her actions or thoughts, her body craved manon's touch and attention while her thoughts ran saying the most vulgar things.

manon sighed against lara's skin before backing off, "guess you're right", she tuned around and began walking away from the bathroom but lara grabbed her hand, turning the brunette around and pulling her into a kiss.

it started off so sweet and soft but overtime it grew more and more passionet, lara began pushing herself against manon's body, they broke off, "fuck i've missed this" lara sighed out before they pulled each other into another kiss.

lara shamelessly moaned into the kiss, manon's hands pulling the girls small waist closer against her body, while slowly pushing her on the bed. lara held manon's neck, pushing the kiss deeper, manon broke the kiss off and began kissing down lara's neck again.

lara threw her head back, allowing the older more access. lara's hips began moving on their own, rutting against manon's leg that was right where she needed her most. manon's hand traveled on their own down lara's body, her fingers and palms tracing lara's abdomen, making the younger one twitch.

"i need you.." lara whispered, low enough that only she heard it, making manon lift up, "what did you say baby?" and lara whined, thinking manon was messing with her, "no baby, repeat yourself" and lara said this time, much louder.

manon slid her hand past lara's sweats and past her panties, her fingers on her clit using one and slowly rubbing in a circle. lara whined pretty loudly, manon crashing her lips against the redhead. manon sped up her hands, slingher fingers down, now pushing two digits inside of lara, causing her to gasp.

manon broke off the kiss and began kissing down lara's body, the red haired woman failing to keep quiet while she allowed her older member to do whatever she wanted with her body. manon reached her other hand up, exposing lara's stomach, manon bit at the brown girl's flesh, making her hips buck.

manon pulled her hand from lara's pants, pulling them down to her thighs. manon made her way down to her thighs, gently caressing them before kissing them, making her way between and kissing lara's inner thighs.

lara’s breath hitched as manon’s lips touch her inner thigh, her body trembling in response to the pleasure coursing through her body. she lets out a soft whine, her legs automatically opening slightly wider for the brunette.

manon continued to pepper kisses down the girl’s inner thigh, getting dangerously closer to where she craved her the most.

she stopped once she was there, looking up into lara’s hooded eyes, manon’s hands slid between her legs, slipping two digits inside of her again.

her pace was slow but steady, lara’s body immediately responds to her touch, her breath coming out in ragged gasps as she begin to provide her with the friction she yearned for.

“m-manon..” lara moaned softly, her body arching as she feels the pleasure begin to build within her. manon would speed up then slow back down randomly, making lara’s mind wonder and turn into mush.

she felt the brunette’s soft lips against her skin, marking her and leaving hickeys. lara’s moans picked up the closer she got, making manon speed up. lara clenched around manon's fingers, the older girl now kissing at her clit, looking her in the eyes while she whimpered out that she was close.

manon went back up, now kissing lara, "i love you so much.." manon sighed against her lips before moving down. the redhead whimpered in manon's ear, "i love you... shit" before she came. manon's hands didn't slow down, she kept with that same pace, making lara be much louder than she should've.

manon pulled the redhead into a kiss while she felt the younger's body spasm under her, pulling her fingers out and gently carrasing her body. manon kissed down lara's body, cooing to her gently while lara tried catching her breath.

manon got up and grabbed a towel and some warm water to clean lara up, when she finished, lara pulled her down beside her. "you know, you didn't have to.." lara said, her voice low and shy, manon shrugged, "wanted to" she said and kissed lara again.

the pair sat in silence for a while before manon spoke, "lara?", "uh huh?" the redhead replied, "you know you didn't have to say it back, right?" and lara grabbed her cheek, "you're a loserrrrr you know?" lara said and manon chuckled, "no but, you didn't" and lara rolled her eyes before pulling the brunette into another kiss, this time the kiss had no lust but was more love.

the lips moved in sync against each other, and while this happened sopie was opening the door after getting word from megan that manon was in lara's room. she had knocked but neither girl heard it so she assumed they were busy doing things and didn't hear it.

when she opened the door she looked around and saw them, the bit her lip before closing the door, the girls saw her walking out but they didn't know what she saw, and they didn't know whether it was good or bad.

they weren't in the house and actually had just made it back home when sophie came over, manon and lara came from the room, lara was leaning against manon barely walking straight with her hair a mess. "oh..." the other four girls all said in usion, now they see why sophie ran out as fast she did.

[xxlady-lunaxx]

This is a request but like

SaneMitsu. But female Sanemi and male Mitsuri.

Basically genderbend

Cause I saw a super adorable fanart of it and I cannot get the idea off of my head but rn I dont have time to write (I'm killing mosquitoes rn) so Im asking the best kny writer on tumblr I know

didnt know what to write bc writing genderbends aaalways trips me up but ill try 🙏 keeping their actual names otherwise it gets infinitely more confusing <- maeda (the tailor) is still the same (gender) ! (its wwaay to confusing as is IMSORRY)

Unlike most of the women of the Corps, Sanemi had chosen the design she got for her uniform. Granted, she hadn’t expected the skirt rather than the pants she had so clearly asked for. But she dealt with it, not really in the mood to ask for her original request. Of course, that only lasted so long. After receiving a replacement for her uniform—which had torn on one of her missions—she found the skirt about four or so inches shorter than it had been before. She had noticed, prior, that it seemed to like shrinking whenever she got it back. But this was fucking ridiculous and she was ready to kill. Which was unfortunately forbidden in the Corps—but nobody said anything about threatening, right?

After getting the unnecessary advice from Tengen—whom she’d run into while collecting her clothes—she stalked back go Maeda with the slowly rising fury. She had never minded the little boob window her uniform provided—she’s asked for that, actually—but this stupid skirt would do nothing to give the protection the uniform was supposed to give. Sanemi found herself wondering if Maeda was secretly a traitor with the intention to kill off all the women by making clothing that did the opposite it was supposed to. She would honestly not be surprised if that was it.

Upon reaching the room she had been directed to as the one Maeda worked in, she kicked the door open and stepped inside. Before she had the chance to put in words the irritation he was inconveniencing her with, she stopped short, realizing someone else was also in the room. It was the newest Hashira—Mitsuri Kanroji. Who stood there, surprised at the sudden entrance.

Maeda stood beside Mitsuri, writing down what Sanemi assumed to be the requested uniform design. No doubt Mitsuri would get exactly what he asked for.

Deciding that she didn’t care if there was audience, Sanemi stalked up to Maeda and snatched the clipboard from his hands. Maeda squeaked—stupidly—and scrambled to get it back. Sanemi held it tauntingly above her head, dancing away from his reach.

“I need that,” Maeda tried. “Do you need anything? Could you wait until I finish with Kanroji-sama?”

“It’s not like you’re going to do what he asks though, right?” Sanemi taunted, her lips curled in a scowl.

Mitsuri took the clipboard from Sanemi, frowning. “Be nice,” he said, as if Sanemi were some toddler learning manners. “He didn’t do anything.”

“Not to you, no.” Sanemi shot him a glare, holding up the skirt and shoving it in Mitsuri’s face. “Look at this! What the fuck is this? At this point, it’s a goddamn belt!”

Mitsuri leaned back slightly, trying to look at what Sanemi was waving in the air. He took a moment to comprehend it, confused. “Is that… a skirt?”

“Yes. Supposedly part of my uniform,” Sanemi snapped. “Even when I asked for some fucking pants. But no. And before, at least, this was longer. Now it covers absolutely nothing!”

Mitsuri appeared to be having conflicting emotions, hesitating before speaking. He turned to Maeda as he spoke, gently taking the skirt and examining it. “Is this really… what you made for Shinazugawa-san? It’s not very proper for her,” he said slowly, his frown reappearing.

Sanemi felt slightly better seeing Mitsuri on her side. Mitsuri seemed like the type to want everything all rainbows and laughter, so seeing him lecture someone else for a change (he didn’t like Sanemi’s ‘attitude’) was satisfying. Especially as Maeda cowered slightly, finally getting the hint that he’d fucked up.

“Well- Maybe it… shrank?” Maeda said doubtfully. Fucking bastard.

“I didn’t even ask for a skirt,” Sanemi snarled. She crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at the tailor. She had to admit, this would be funny. Especially if Mitsuri decided to scold Maeda. Which he did.

“Even if it did shrink from what you originally, made, it isn’t very kind of you to give her what she didn’t ask for! Besides, I believe that pants are more protective than skirts, and it would be nice of you to help us with our job to protect others! We all have important roles in the Corps and yours is to make the clothing, right? But if we aren’t fit into the clothes that would benefit us more, then other things could go wrong! Shinazugawa-san is a very talented Hashira, but I believe that not having the proper protection for her skin would hinder her ability to protect others if her own body is open to so many places she could easily get injured. If you issued the same clothing to any of the Hashira, they would all tell you that it isn’t ideal to receive something with the means for only appearance when they’re trusting you to make them something that would protect them,” Mitsuri ranted, hands poised on his hips as he spoke. He huffed, handing Maeda his clipboard back. “I don’t want to pressure you, but it’s truly disrespectful to give this”—he held up the skirt—“to someone who has done nothing but protect! Please give Shinazugawa-san the right clothing before proceeding with mine.”

Sanemi wasn’t quite listening to Mitsuri, having grown a bit bored of it half way through, so she focused on Maeda’s expression that was morphing into some sort of embarrassment, if not quite shame. She resisted the urge to laugh as Maeda quickly took the clipboard and nodded. Probably deciding he didn’t want to deal with two angry Hashira.

“Yes- Okay,” Maeda said quickly. He didn’t look quite sorry, but at least he might refrain from repeating his actions for a while. “I’ll do it.”

“Do you need my measurements?” Sanemi asked.

“No. I have them from last time.”

“So you did measure her for them? You just decided not to follow your directions?” Mitsuri prompted, looking even more upset.

Sanemi grinned, eager to rouse the fire. “Yeah, maybe we should have you replaced or something. Or, maybe not. We should just report this to Oyakata-sama. I’m sure you’d learn your lesson then.”

Mitsuri agreed, nodding. “I agree.”

Maeda shook his head quickly. “No, no, I’ll do what you asked. I’ll do it.”

“Good. But I’m more than willing to send a crow to Master if it’s too much work,” Sanemi suggested.

Maeda interrupted him, shaking his head with much vigor. “No need! No need—it’s fine, I’ll do it.”

Sanemi smirked as Maeda left to hopefully go remake the uniform. Then she turned to Mitsuri, raising an eyebrow.

“What?” Mitsuri asked. She handed the skirt back but Sanemi just threw it aside for whoever came back into the room.

“I think we should’ve just punched him,” Sanemi said.

“No! That’s going too far.”

“Yeah, well, I’m holding him accountable for all of the injuries on my legs since I got the skirt.” She absentmindedly rubbed her thigh where a bandage was wrapped around a wound from a couple days ago. “I’m sure it could’ve been prevented if he wasn’t such a perverted asshole.”

“Let’s not- Let’s not speak badly about him, now…” Mitsuri mumbled, though he resisted a smile.

Sanemi pointed at the skirt. Mitsuri sighed.

“Just don’t hurt him. Please?”

“Fine.”

•••

Sanemi had, luckily, gotten her uniform back as she’d originally wanted it. The next time she saw Mitsuri—which wasn’t actually until the next Hashira meeting—she showed her, a bit pleased. Mitsuri equally seemed happy for Sanemi. Sanemi, who had decided that maybe Mitsuri wasn’t quite so annoying, ended up talking to him for a while longer. The other Hashira appeared vastly surprised by this, all used to Sanemi’s hostile act towards, well, everyone. And then Sanemi and Mitsuri started dating blah blah I have no ideas.

guys pls be more specific w requests i neber know what to write 😔

[n7punk]

Heyy sorry this message is coming in a bit late bc I was too cowardly to say it off anon lmao

I just wanted to say, regarding the messages you got about your fics on ao3, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Your work is amazing and there’s obviously so much love and passion behind it. You don’t have to share it with us, but you do, and it feels nothing short of a gift every time. This may sound dramatic, but I truly feel it’s a privilege every time I get to read a fic of yours, so it was really baffling to see someone act like they’re doing YOU a favor by reading your work. Please don’t let it demotivate you; I assure you that person was an outlier, and for every person like that, there are 10 more that are grateful that you share your work with us. I have no idea what they meant when they said you were “giving attitude”. You honestly sounded so respectful in your answer to their previous asks? I just hope you know you’re very much appreciated! You single-handedly kept my Catradora obsession alive for 4 years

thank you! honestly im still a little confused what they were pressed about initially fghjhfgfg. everyone was so nice on my comeback fic no matter how goofy the concept is and i appreciate yall so much <3 so happy to hear i could extend the brainrot and bring yall down with me >:3c i'm getting started on femslash february because i feel like i need the prompts since my brain is tapped on ideas after working on my novel, but if i come up with anything outside of the prompts (or i double up on any prompts, since it's triple bingo) i'll post more this month! the rest of yall were so supportive it really did help with getting that motivation back instead of dragging through january

[satoruxx]

I swear everything going on is so out of character for yuta.

Like satoru is always treated like a weapon and now it happening again even after his death and it’s by his closest student??? It’s weird and sad honestly

EXACTLY and the fact that there was that whole convo in the flashback where yuta tells gojo that he shouldn't be a "monster" by himself but then now it's yuta going on about how they need to throw away their humanity bc it's sukuna they're talking about, and that gojo was always the one who had to be the "monster" so now it's yuta's responsibilty.

like isn't that just nullifying exactly what yuta said before?? and i get maybe it's the whole "oh yeah you have to sacrifice your humanity bc that's the jujutsu world." but like as someone who was so adamant about making sure gojo didn't do crazy monster shit, why tf is yuta now using his body as a tool, basically forcing him to do crazy monster shit even in death??

idk man my head is spinning the whole thing makes no sense. and like what difference is yuta using gojo's powers supposed to make?? im still so confused about that...

[thatdeadaquarius]

Sobbing and crying just saw your post of us sounding like a Sim, and I am DYING.

What if it went the other way? They can understand us, but we can't understand them!

Us : hey so what the fuck is happening why tf am I in genshin impact

Them : OMG ASKSKSKSKS FEDERRRALL MEERKK TREEESO! (Omg it's the divine God I'm shittinh myself oml) or whatever idk)

Us: excuse me what the fuck did you just say about my mother? (US mishearing or maybe the words are randomized? Who knows)

Everyone just being confused and frustrated on why you can't understand them. Is it because they aren't worshipping you enough? Maybe some friendship level BS where obly those who are lvl 10 can understand u or smth? Who knows, certainly not the Creator.

I highkey am thinking about writing smth for this now but having it be for like each archons reaction or smthin but who knows. I just wanna see a bunch of divine beings confused outta their mind in like whatever cities square and it turning into a "holy game of charades"

Also happy early birthday ajdjdjkdkdkdk

I”M SO LATE SO THANK YOU FOR THE BDAY WISHES LMAO SORRY KARMA MY BELOVED

AHHHHH U INSPIRED ME BY THE ARCHONS HOLY GAME OF CHARADES-

AND OH NO LVL 10 ONLY FRIENDSHIP UNDERSTANDING-

(づ ￣ ³￣)づ here have a hug for your patience- sorry karma!! :')

LMAO this inuyasha gif- obviously everyone else guessing what ur doing and the 2 others r like ppl like Venti or Kaeya who r just fucking with ppl by joining you lol

OK BUT WHO DO U HAVE LVL 10 FRIENDSHIP?!

BC I GOT NOBODY 😭

ITS RLLY HARD TO DO OKAY-

I HAVE TO PUT ACTUAL EFFORT INTO THE FEW THAT ARE LEVEL 4-5 

ID BE SO FUCKED-

Oh no.

Oh god (you??) no.

What if you had the highest friendship with little d**ks like Scaramouche.

noooOOOOOO

He’d be like, “Eh, I don’t feel like translating today.” 💀

Also I’m rolling with the idea that 

perfect understanding = lvl 10,

Most words 7-9

Some words 5-6

Kinda ?? they get 2 words per sentence or smth 3-4

Basically nothing 1-2

◇

Anyway ornery bitches like Scara/Xiao/Alhaitham/Rosaria/Diluc (all for diff reasons like diluc/xiao would just be overwhelmed and dont like ppl that much lol, whereas haitham doesnt give a fuck lmao) would kinda suck to have as translators

OH NOT THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD JUST LIE ABOUT WHAT U SAID ON PURPOSE TO DECEIVE THE MASSES LIKE Heizou/Yae Miko/Kaeya/Venti 

They pull something like “oh well the god of gods said I could have the last slice of cake/an extra glass of wine hehe”

For different reasons these people would also be ROUGH translators: FISCHL OH NO- , Zhongli, Albedo (he simply would omit “unnecessary details”, cyno, ITTO PLEASE, Raiden (puppet) bc shed take stuff too far/too literally u would never be able to communicate jokes, Razor (im sorry bbyboy), Shenhe

THE CHARADDEEESSS

THE CHARADES OF THE GODS 

You may or may not get another title of a jokester god bc of these SILLY charades 💀

The people u have higher levels of friendship with giving hints LMAO

♤

“Uhhh….. Oh! Oh! Greatest Lord wishes to see a dance performance!” 

Nahida’s sweet voice rings out in Yujing Terrace, her tiny hand waving in the air like an elementary student who’s really excited to answer. …Which isn’t that far off honestly.

“Hmm, I disagree Buer, I believe the Hundun Emperor is saying they wish to take a bath perhaps. I am also attempting to use context, as it has been a long day for them.” Zhongli is in his classic “majestic thinking gentleman” pose, and you’d admire it more if it weren’t for the fact that they don’t seem to be getting what you’re saying.

You hadn’t yet found someone with a higher friendship level than 2 or 3 (hey, don’t blame yourself, you really have to put effort into friendship levels to get them anywhere and you were still busy screwing around in Sumeru when you got spirited away).

So needless to say, most people were getting “the, me, I, you, etc.” rather than the actual important keywords you needed them to, hence the godly charade game now.

As you “hold” something, you throw your hands up in the air, still keeping your hands wrapped around nothing. You think if somebody told you last week that you’d be playing charades with the archons in Genshin Impact so you could actually communicate with them… well you don’t know what you would have done. Maybe just gave them a really awkward laugh.

“Oh! Are you asking for a weapon? Akitsu Mikami, my emperor, we or our nations will surely provide protection from any harm that might befall you. Hm, I suppose we should offer something anyway… I wouldn’t want to displease them…” Ei mutters to herself, having taken over her puppet once more for the occasion.

She and Buer, still retaining their authority status, had asked for the area to be cleared in order to try and get closer to communicating with the Divine First, or you.

“Ha! What idiot would try to hurt the All-Parent in their home, unless they wish to get thrown?” Venti cheekily says, as you don’t understand him, but judging by Zhongli’s clenched jaw, Ei’s sigh, and Nahida’s giggle, you can guess.

You give your own sad sigh… it’s already been 3 hours. 😭

How hard is charades for 4 archons??

Well… apparently very hard.

You put your face in your hands, and you hear the (retired) archons start to debate something, you can tell it’s getting a little passive-aggressive between Venti and Zhongli by their tone alone. 

…Okay, now it’s just aggressive.

The archons eventually give their attention back to you so you can go back to your charades lol

You tried opening your mouth and closing it, very obvious, they can’t go wrong. 

…Turns out they can. 

Somehow you find yourself with a hot tea brewed by the geo archon. 

(Venti attempted to offer you Dandelion Wine, or Osmanthus Wine even, and only god, well you now, knows where he pulled them from. Ei swatted his head, he looked so offended, and his cheeks were all puffed up, heh.)

Giving up, you just try to motion for them to stay still, your hands gesturing like trying to calm a wild animal.

They give you questioning looks, and you begin to walk off, they all seem to immediately start discussing something with each other. All of the gods look very conflicted, and after a minute of you getting further away (yes, you’re almost home free, Xiangling here you come! ) Nahida skips to catch up with you.

She gives you a beaming smile, and you can’t bring yourself to not return it. She's so much cuter in real life, even the official art didn't do her justice.

You make your way towards the restaurant, finally.

And apparently you’re happier than you thought to smell the savory scents flowing out of the kitchen because your stomach growls loudly.

You’re too hungry to even attempt to stop it, no one will care, except Nahida’s eyes go wide. She begins to sputter, and flail her hands desperately trying to charade an apology at you.

…you were just trying to tell them you were hungry. 💀

☆

Ask box open again! :] 🎊

Pspspspspssubliminalmessagingyouwillsendthatdeadaquariusanaskpssppspspspspssss

✨️Hope you guys got smth out of this rough draft✨️ ♡

:D hope u guys have had a good weekend!

My senior art exhibit is april 6th so wish me luck and prayers (from any religion im not picky pls)

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[dearest-painter]

Revolting children! PT.1

Summary:Electro’s child (Jamie Foxx version) is a spider man/child…when a portal opens up they meet old and new people who want them as their family making them realize they’ll never be safe

TW/CW:Yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship,Jamie Foxx’s Electro is used bc he’s my favorite!,Reader got their spider powers at 10 years old and is now 15-16,Reader talks to themselves,very out of character characters,this is a series,Reader own a pet rat name Remi whose basically like Sebastian from Suicide squad 2,Reader doesn’t know about the spider society,Reader is the same as Miles aka both got bit by a spider that wasn’t from their universe/wasn’t meant for them,a shit load of time skips,tell me if I need to add more

PT.2

Waking up in your bed you could sense something was wrong…it looks like your hide out in Miles’s universe. Soon you got up and went to look outside then sighed. “God damn it im back here…Where’s pops? Rem you seen him?” Remi shook his head no until the door opened and you saw Miles staring at you. “Hey…” “HOW ARE YOU HERE!?” “IM NOT SURE! ONE MINUTE I WAS ASLEEP ON MY BED AND NOW IM HERE! WHAT THE FUCK!”

Miles sat down beside running a hand over his face and you confused on how the hell you got here. “Maybe your a mutant? You did say that your mom had some powers to teleport to different universes so maybe you got them?” “I doubt but that is an option…I’ll just stay here until I find a way home” Miles nodded his head as you two sat in silence. It was very peaceful and you liked it a lot.

Soon you and miles got up and decided to walk around town. “You know I was planning on visiting I just wasn’t sure how to get to ya” “understandable, I’d be more surprised if you open a portal in the middle of my room” “sounds like me, hey how is Gwen? She said she’d visit us but I haven’t heard or seen her” Miles sighed sadly which you knew that he was in the same case as you, you honestly found Miles and Gwen adorable with each other. They seemed like they’d have a long lasting relationship or get into a long relationship. “She hasn’t visit or talk to me, I know it can be tricky but she’s done it in the past but recently she just stopped” “hey at least you get to see her, she hasn’t even visit me!”

Miles chuckled sadly knowing you were right, he’d thought Gwen visit you as she said she did and spoke of all these fun events with you that made him jealous. He sorta hates that Gwen was lying, if she didn’t do all those things with you then…who was she actually with? He didn’t let it show as he’s just happy to see you after so long. “You still got your sparky?” “Of course! What about you Y/N? Still got your magic touch?” “Bitch please…of course I do!” Miles chuckled a bit ruffling you hair as you swatted at his hand.

He’s kinda happy that only he’s been able to see you after so long. It makes him have so much pride in his chest! He’s clearly your favorite now as he’s the only other Spider-Man you’ve seen after so long!

[corcnaiism]

;-- alrighty so i have come to my decision. i will be moving my oc and my gf muses to another blog bc i feel like there is so much lore ive created and will be creating that will require its own blog for me to dump everything in without feeling like im clogging the dash.

i also been feeling like this blog has run dry and i need to start fresh again. i will keep it with the other muses i have just in case i get inspo to write them, but so far ive been nose deep in gf, especially with my oc that is heavily involved in that verse, so i feel like i just need another blog for me to throw all that stuff into.

i also just haven't been feeling comfortable in this blog anymore even with the things ive tried doing to make it easier for me to be around. it's like ive disconnected myself/been disconnected from the rest of the community, and i honestly just need to go somewhere else and start anew. even tho i might not get a lot of interactions for gf stuff, at least i won't feel like i'm blowing someone's dash and feeling annoying or something. sure, people would've just unfollowed/block me, but still idk i just feel uneasy speaking about the things ive been super passionate about lately. i might not get much traction either once i move blogs, but at least it'll feel like i'm throwing my ideas out there to those who genuinely want to see me yap my brains out or even just to myself without feeling awkward doing so.

i blame my low self esteem tbh. i just have zero confidence in myself when it comes to putting myself out there, and sometimes it gets to me that i don't have someone to talk to about things or feel like im being ignored/annoying. it's honestly just my own fault tbh and giving myself a hard time, and this is just something i deal with on a day to day basis whether it be online or irl.

so yeah ill just stop there before i get into trauma-dumping territory but uh yeah so ill most likely be creating a new blog and pouring all of my gf stuff on there with my oc and my other canon muses. i just feel like that's the better option bc like i said there has been so much ive written and still have to write about the worldbuilding for that universe where my oc exists within the gf realm that i feel it deserves to have its own blog. ill be turning this blog into my secondary blog and come back to it every now and then when i get muses for other fandoms. i feel like this will just be better for my own mental health too and stay away from feeling isolated.

if you read this far and you have written with any of gf muses, oc included, i will be moving our threads over to the new blog and tag you appropriately if you wish to continue. i'll post something on here whenever i've moved to the new blog so you're aware that it's me tagging you just in case you're confused as well as sending dms. i'll probably have this new blog up and running after the holidays and my trip, so expect an update or two on the upcoming new year.

and another note if you've read this far, i wanna wish you all happy holidays and please make sure you do what you can to stay safe. i love you guys and thank you so much for giving me another lovely year <3

[wish-i-were-heather]

okay so im halfway through the gandest game!!! (spoiler warning up to chapter 42)

i already gave my thoughts up to like 24 so im just gonna continue from there (literally copy and pasting off of the doc i have where i just write my thoughts as i read)

I’m 100% on the theory that Odette is Alice Hawthorne because how would she know Tobias????? I mean sure she could have some other past with him but idk I feel like that’s her

“Gigi didn’t get to fall apart” (118) um ma’am do we need to talk are you okay gigi? I feel like at some point we’re gonna have a scene where she breaks down and omg what if Grayson comforts her that’d be so sweet

I’m gonna jump Knox. Not in a good way. 

TALK NERDY TO ME????? (121) NO WAY THAT WAS A COINCIDENCE  THAT HAS TO BE A REFERENCE

“Make yourself useful, British” (123) Wow Savannah really getting creative with these nicknames

Ok but I keep forgetting Rohan is British and has a British accent which only makes him 100x hotter

Omg just kiss already

I love how Lyra is like no he can’t pick me up “she already knew how Grayson touch could linger, how it’s ghost refused to be exorcized” (136) honey no that’s not him he’s only doing that bc hes in love with you 

SHE REWATCHED THE KISS?? GIRLLLL WHATT I would’ve too tho NOT BC AVERYGRAYSON BUT BECAUSE GRAYSON IS SO FINE and i'd want him to kiss me 😔

Odette is like us she so ships them omg I kinda love that for her “you hands, her hips” (137)

GRAYSON CAN PICK ME UP ANY DAY OMG I GOT FRICKIN BUTTERFLIES READING THAT SCENE DIHSISBSJSBISJD

“I need a moment” (138) Grayson honey we all know why you really need that moment but please try to focus on the game and be horny for Lyra later okay?

I kinda ship Gigi and Brady tho. I never liked this slater guy so honestly I’m not complaining

GRAYSON HAWTHORNE ADMITTING HE'S WRONG??? If Jamie was there he would never hear the end of it

The way that Brady and Knox talk about this calla person reminds me of how book one Jamie and gray would talk about Emily but like different ofc

OKAY IF BRADY AND GIGI DON'T BECOME A THING EVENTUALLY I WILL RIOT BECAUSE WDYM HE LOOKS AT HER THE WAY JAMESON LOOKS AT AVERY?? IDC IF HES JUST LOOKING AT THE WORDS ITS MORE THAN THAT-

SAVVY??????????

“I do not care what words people use to describe me, because those people are all beneath me” (163) SAVANNAH GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS GRAYSON OMG

Wait after readint the end of chapter 41 what the heck is up with knox??? Obviously he and brady have some sort of history but why’s he being like that???? Im really confused and honestly a little concerned. Whats up with him and small spaces, some sort of trauma? But also like he makes me feel unsafe 

WAIT SHE PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON? Its okay tho shes just a girl 🎀 

Ok wait brady and knox’s history together???!!! Does that explain why knox was like that when brady said his mom had cancer? Still don't like knox tho like what

[goodfully]

oh god i cant believe ive finished reading the neapolitan novels already, its over??? ahh okay thoughts on the last book "the story of the lost child"..

honestly i was dreading the last maybe twenty pages bc i didnt want it to end hahaha. its crazy that everything we've read is essentially all for lila. "i who have written for months and months and months to give her a form whose boundaries wont dissolve." ahh!!!!! what!!!!!! to spend so much of the book saying how much lila suffered and feared from dissolving boundaries, how she had been so overwhelmed during the earthquake when the entire world felt like its boundaries were dissolving, and then say that everything shes written is to keep her from dissolving herself... my goodness. "i loved lila. i wanted her to last. but i wanted it to be i who made her last. i thought it was my task. i was convinced that she herself, as a girl, had assigned it to me." wow... you ever loved someone so much... also.. the way lenu was saying how connected they are, that even tho she has written a lot about her own life in these pages, "the very nature of our relationship dictates that i can reach her only by passing through myself"??? god.

i think my favorite parts of the book were all when lenu and lila were so close to each other during and after their pregnancies. i just thought it was so sweet, the way they were basically a family together, two mothers and their children. going to their doctors appointment tmr, taking walks together, taking care of each others daughters like their own.

i have to admit that i was confused by the meaning of the dolls at the very end, but i love that the openendness of the ending was referring back to something unanswered (where were the dolls) from one of the very first scenes from the first book (altho very interesting!, considering how not too long before the end of the book, lenu was telling imma not to believe in the cyclical nature of society). to me i thought, perhaps also it could mean that (assuming its lila) lila chooses existing (with lenu) over disappearing? actually, when tina disappeared and dede had accused lila of losing tina on purpose, i immediately thought it made sense. the first thing we literally know about lila is how she has felt the need to erase herself completely, and tina parallels/is an extension of lila the way imma parallels/is an extension of lenu. lila wanted to erase herself without a trace, and there was literally zero proof of tinas death/kidnapping/existence.

in the same way lila wouldnt be able to erase herself completely without also erasing tina, i think about the idea of how the ppl we love will never truly be erased if we love them? thats why even if tina disappeared, lila cant be erased bc lenu loves her. like how, whether its on purpose or not to keep her mother alive, lenu finds her mothers existence with her in her limp. i think the same could be said about the solaras, who altho arent exactly loved by the neighborhood, are important enough to most ppl in the neighborhood and their power is still felt in the neighborhood after their death. also, i think its a little different, but im reminded of when lenu said something like the many fragments of ourselves are scattered like splinters or something (altho i think the context here was about their children). but no one is ever never really gone, i think.. oh.. i go crazy every time she talks about her relationship/similarities with her mother (the ancestors in her body when she was physically violent back against her mother, and the.. "must i watch you become worse than me?"), and her relationship/similarities with her daughters (her daughters reaching the same age as the ghosts of her girlhood), and every time the imma/tina relationship parallels the lenu/lila relationship.

i was thinking that this book was more of accepting yourself and your origins, whereas the other books showed lenu and lila trying to escape them? perhaps acceptance of the past and the agency you have despite the past that defined you? like when lenu realizes that ninos actions are not attributed to his father, nino is his own person and he himself is the reason he is a piece of shit man, not just bc of the man who raised him. and that part when lenu said that antonios tone resembles the neighborhood, but it is entirely his own. more so when lenu had published her third book and said that only words and stories from the neighborhood were the only ones with meaning, and that she no longer felt she was a victim of her origins but was capable of dominating them and using them to climb higher. stuff about the past and present colliding. it reminds me of when mariarosa said something like, a woman without love for her origins is lost, or something.. i kinda forgot what the context was tho.

oh another thing, the closeness between the childhood neighborhood friends meant so much to me.. like there was a moment when carmen said that lenu and lila are her sisters during that little gathering with the neighborhood group of kids now all grown up just talking to each other... i think theyre like family, they grew up together. when lenu goes in the neighborhood after moving back to naples and is talking to carmen, lila, and enzo again... they care so much about each other. and talking about how much they love pasquale too no matter what hes doing. sobs.

this just reminded me of nino.. (he was there the first time, but whatever! he kinda wasnt.) when lenu makes nino come over, i was so pissed... and i had a feeling something bad would happen while he was there, but tinas disappearance was not what i was expecting.. oh but enzo.. my beloved, he was so caring and attentive, not only to tina but also imma. ahh.. while im on the topic of men, the part when gennaro and stefano find rino, and gennaro had to listen to stefano yell insults at rinos dead body and then beats up stefano while crying that he is disgusted with himself for being his son. it just made me really sad.. these are the two adult men he has and is related to..

tbh francos death sticks out to me mainly bc he said something that i honestly believe and live by, i repeat it to myself to not relapse into whatever mental illness, "it [is] a good rule not to expect the ideal but to enjoy what is possible", but then he kills himself immediately after and it... makes me so fucking sad.

lenu said this only in the beginning about feeling the hostility from her mother/lila and felt estranged from them, but i often think about freedom vs loneliness. i suppose its also something throughout the whole series, with how much she wanted freedom and to escape from her origins, she /was/ lonely. and the time spent trying to be on her own without lila was also lonely. the end of the entire series when she felt her friendship with lila must have ended... that was lonely. i think in this fourth book, lenu expressed a lot more of her love for lila.

anyway... overall i loved the entire series so much... i am so glad i read it finally, its some of the best books ive ever read. im on a trip with family rn and every time someone asks me what im reading, i really dont know how to summarize all four novels all together in a way that explains how good and thoughtful it all is. also i know its adapted into a show, which i really want to watch eventually! i still cant believe im done reading tho.. like what do i do now! ahhhhhh

[youmeshii]

han yujin × reader

warning ; she/her pronouns used, the f word is said ONCE, intentional lowercase, not proof read (i wrote this in 40 mins 💀), im younger than yujin i have the right to write this

tags ; no beta we die like real men, friends to (possible) lovers, tooth-rotting-ish fluff, yujin is a living and breathing staring contest bc hes awkward n i love him

a/n ; unfortunately, i will be delaying the publishing of my gunwook fic cause i'd like for it to be the best of the bestest but i wanted to spice up my page a lil bit and coincidentally, i have an awful yujin brainrot. so yujin drabble!!!!!

wc ; 0.6k

hold me close and say you care, 'cause i'm in love with your black hair ♪

"fuck, my headphones died." you groaned in annoyance, yujin's stare bearing into your skull. it would've been okay if it died back at home but on a road trip in the middle of nowhere, you don't have a lot of options.

your eyes travel to his, finally snapping him out of the spell you put on him. "yes?" your head tilts as you ask. he thinks it's the cutest thing he ever saw.

now feeling a little awkward, he looks down onto his bag and starts rummaging through his things. confusion still displays on your face yet you continue to watch his doings.

he pulls out a badly tangled bundle of earphones. "you can use this...?" he hesitated, you almost couldn't tell if it was a statement or not.

you let out a small laugh and his guard finally drops, laughing along with you. sure, he was all awkward and shy around you, but he still cared enough to offer a way for you to continue listening to your music.

"if it wasn't so tangled, i might be able to." you said, remnants of your laugh left on your face and made itself into a wide smile.

his cheeks started glowing with a rosy color as he pauses for a second before trying to untangle his earphones. why is it so tangled? why can't he get it out? this is his only chance!

"need some help there?" he jolts up at your voice and just blanks out. he looked like a child who just got caught eating too many candies. panicked on the inside, completely still on the outside.

you laugh at his still figure. his awkwardness from this whole situation made this so much funnier for you. grabbing his earphones, you test your luck and attempt to untangle it yourself.

"i think you tangled it even more." you joked, swiftly untangling the wires and putting them in their respective places. due to the gods' luck and pure will power, you successfully untangled the earphones.

out of a sudden, yujin suddenly breathed a sigh of relief. you turned to look at him and his flushed face. you weren't very close, but it's nice to know he isn't just shy smiles and awkward laughs.

connecting the earphones to your phone, you open spotify and tapped on your most used playlist. on shuffle, you heard one of your favorite love songs.

"oh! yujin!" you called his name, his eyes automatically locking themselves onto you like he has so many times. he always looks at you with so much intent, it was honestly really cute.

"wanna share? one of my favorite songs' playing." you extended your arm to give him one of the earphones, him politely accepting.

he looked at the title, "1999" by beabadoobee. he mentally noted that it's one of your favorites and to listen to it again, of course.

"hold me close and say you care, cause i'm in love with your black hair~" you sang absentmindedly. little did you know, the boy next to you was stunned. he didn't know if it was because of your singing, or the fact that you changed the lyrics.

why did she say black hair? the song clearly said brown hair. he was confused. was it really for him?

the song continues playing as yujin's emotions only grew stronger. somehow, he felt like he was feeling everything all at once. he couldn't explain it, it was too complex.

nearing the end of the song, you hummed the lyrics joyfully. his eyes still boring into you, just as it was so many times before.

you turned to face him, "the lyrics are really pretty, right?" he stared right back into your eyes, a new feeling erupting in him and seeping into the way he stared at you.

"yeah, they're really pretty."

[winderlylandchime]

Thank you so much. We are all doing much better and in true fashion of my family we somehow have managed to turn it all into laughter. But I do come bearing gifts! Aka random updates about the man that according to my parents I am related to even though I have doubts.

-He burned down his kitchen… twice…in 1 week. All is good, he is good but he did learn a valuable lesson that noodles need water. And that lighting a candle with a paper on fire is NOT a smart move. He is on first name bases with the fire department already though because last year he got his hand stuck in a vase and walked to their station with it and then proceeded to ask if he can go down their pole (he was allowed)
-He made 3 of his (new) friends watch qaf (prom ep and first 4 of s2) and it was INSANE! I felt like I was watching straight men watch Super Bowl. A lot of “WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! GO TO THE FUCKING PROM!” And my all time favorite his friend going “I can’t fucking believe I am rooting for a 30 year old man to crash a fucking prom to get his 18 year old boyfriend back” and my brother screaming at him “STOP USING YOUR FUCKING LOGIC WHEN WATCHING THIS SHOW! IT WILL RUIN IT!”

-Brian the cat had to wear a tiny shirt because he had to have surgery (nothing serious all is good!) and of course my brother made him his very own Brian shirt. My mom said that the vet was very confused by the “I have more balls than the other Brian” shirt… Which, I for real had no clue he put that on the shirt until my mom sent me pics

-he is still very very obsessed with QAF. Any time he or anyone in my family makes an inappropriate comment, he immediately follows it up with ‘Bri Bri would love that one’

-he made our mom and dad watch it in June and he only got into an argument over Brian 1 time. He stormed out and then 10 minutes later came back bc he realized it’s his apartment

-mom and dad both hate Craig. And Mikey. And Ben. And Lindsey and Mel pissed them off too. Dad felt bad about that one bc i was there (i was confused bc im not a fan of them either tbh) so he donated money to a lesbian org to make up for his guilt to which my brother responded by calling him a bitch and saying ‘gay rights! But fuck those two’

-He joined a painting club. He sucks at painting but wanted to try it out and “plus it can’t hurt, worst case, I make some new friends” he forced me to go with him (he’s been very lovely during this grieving journey) and we walked into a painting class full of senior citizens. He thought the “seniors painting club” meant 18+. He made friends with all of them by talking shit about politics. Except the lady named Susie, he got on her good side after he snuck alcohol in and tried to ID her for it.

-he got a tattoo of a duck with a knife and a speech bubble that says ‘duck around and find out’ dad stopped talking to him for 4 days bc of it

-He tried 3 times in May to quit smoking and failed each time because “the world is pissing me off, it’s either this or murder and we all know im crazy enough” however he succeeded it in July due to the next update

-The man went on dates!!!! That’s right plural!!!! It was a mess! But a lovely mess. And a whole ass story that I got to witness first hand because I stayed at my parents over summer. honestly this was the one thing that I was SO excited to tell you guys about if he allowed it (which he did and im typing it up as we speak)

-oh and he also had to have another small surgery on his leg in September and was on crutches for a month but somehow (see update above) he was a lot more chill about it (not really, he was still his usual chaotic dumb self but he actually slept/ate/rested when told (you guessed it due to the above update)

-and last one he said i have to share if I want permission to share the story, which is that the Shrek playlist works. His date found it hilarious on their official real first date and couldn’t stop laughing once the realization kicked in that it’s accidentally in love over and over.

Dear sweet anon!! I am screaming because you have been so missed! I legit had people who would say to me "remember anon and brother anon?" and we would wish you both well. I am so excited to have you back.

HE BURNED HIS KITCHEN DOWN NOT ONCE BUT TWICE AND THE FIRE DEPT ALREADY KNOWS HIM. Of course. Of course. Why would this not be true?

Imagining a group of straight men watching QAF and responding like it's a sport is... well, an image. And your brother is very correct, we can't think too long about some parts of the show otherwise the ick is there.

I am cackling about your parents watching the show and your dad feeling so guilty for hating the lesbians that he donated to a lesbian cause. It's okay Dad Anon, the lesbians hate Mel and Linds. They're written horribly and there's so much biphobia. It's cringe (again one of the things we can't think too hard about).

Your brother joining a seniors' painting club is giving Ted on Schitt's Creek dancing with the old ladies. The pun in his tattoo would be one that Ted would be proud of too. Sorry Dad Anon. (My parents hate my tattoos too and none of them make any reference to a curse word)

Listen, I got spouse to quit smoking when we were still in our flirting stage. We were in grad school in one of those long seminars that require a break and they said "Do you want to come have a smoke break with me?" And I responded, "You smoke?" with alllllll the judgment in my voice. And they literally never smoked again. Things people will do for the horny.

Okay I'm leaving dating to the next update because I've read ahead (my spouse hates that I love spoilers but here we are - they have healthy lungs and are married to someone who will read the end of a book first).

YALL IT'S A DOOZY.

[rashomonss]

hi!! i've followed around since ch4 of a humans wrath and i am so proud of you for coming this far in your journey!!! your writing is so heart wrenching and it's so comforting in a way that it's such a good material to come to if i want a good cry!!!

so i've come forward to please request "You can't even look me in the eyes, can you?" with beel and it's like trauma of ch16 with them being twins and all.

it's fine if you don't accept it!! i just want to show my appreciation for your writing as it's rlly rlly good!!!

omg you’ve followed me for a good while, i feel so honored that you still enjoy my work!! ♡

I’m so glad you think that honestly, it just makes me so happy, I’m crying rn anon, if I knew who you were I’d follow you back rn bc you’re so sweet (╥﹏╥)

ily sm and I just want you to know I’m so thankful for your support, truly, I hope you continue to enjoy my work as well as a humans wrath! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡

also you meant lesson 16 in nightbringer right?? because i was a bit confused for a second, bc im a bit dumb, but anyways i did enjoy writing this quite a bit so i hope you do enjoy! (also I was being feeling nice so this one ended with comfort)

love ya! ♡

warnings: possible nightbringer lesson 16 spoilers

“please don’t blame yourself”

You had canceled the summoning spell in Lucifer’s office and thankfully the banshee was nowhere to be found. However the trouble didn’t end there, in fact it had only just begun.

Belphie rushed over to his twin and asked profusely if he was okay, due to him looking as if he was going to fall over from sheer stress.

Beel nodded and stayed silent as Satan explained to the rest of his brothers the two different circumstances in which you hear a banshee cry. This caused an uproar and Belphie began to question his brother with a concerned expression.

Beel answered every question his twin had, but not once did he dare to look at him. And as he finished the story of what had happened, he could feel Belphie’s eyes burn a hole in his head due to how much he was staring at him.

“So you’ve heard one cry before…you’ve never mentioned anything about that…” Belphie said, stepping closer to his twin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep it from you, I don’t want you to be upset”

“Beel, you misunderstand! I’m not mad at you at all, none of this was your fau-“

“If I had known what that was then I could’ve told Lucifer and maybe we wouldn’t have lost Lilith…” Beel had said.

You heard the strain in his voice as he spoke to his twin, each word that left his mouth was laced with regret and guilt…but why was that? It wasn’t his fault.

“Beel it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t have know-“ Belphie pleaded.

Beel cut his twin off mid sentence and raised his voice slightly. “But I should’ve. It’s all my fault Belphie, I could’ve prevented this.”

“No you couldn’t have!”

“Yes I could’ve! Maybe then we all wouldn’t be down here, maybe then we’d still be happily up in the Celestial Realm with Lilith. If I had known we all could’ve seen her smile again. She’d be here with us now, instead of facing a cruel death”

Beel’s voice echoed through Lucifer’s study as all his brothers looked at him with mixed reactions. None of them had ever heard him raise his voice in such a way, and it shocked most of them into silence, including his twin.

Asmo, Mammon, and Levi looked to you for assistance after his outburst, while Satan looked at Beel with an expression that held a mixture of hurt and resentment.

Belphie finally looked at Beel with a sad expression and furrowed his eyebrows slightly. “Beel, you need to understand that none of this was your fault. It was never your fault to begin with.”

“You don’t understand. I had the chance to change things but I didn’t. I didn’t come through for you when you needed me, now because of that all of you have to suffer because I never said anything. I caused this Belphie”

“Beel..” his twin said with such sorrow.

You’ve heard the twins talk about things and slightly argue with each other before, but they always end up getting over it or solving the situation before it gets worse. This time you're not so sure.

The dejected atmosphere that engulfed Lucifer’s study was so thick you began to feel suffocated. And you could tell you weren’t the only one; as the rest of the brothers watched the twins speak, each began to slowly back away towards you for reassurance.

“Ever since the night of the dinner party and what Lucifer said, I keep thinking about what happened…and I wish I could go back and change things, so that this never happened in the first place.”

“Beel..!”

“We wouldn’t have lost Lilith, Belphie…and you wouldn’t have had to suffer so much.”

“What do you mean..?” Belphie asked softly as he looked at his twin with an uneasy expression.

“I know you feel guilty because you survived and she didn’t…”

At this point Belphie stood there in silence as he looked at the ground for an answer, but nothing came to mind. This throat ran dry.

“Beel please look at me…” Belphie asked, stepping closer to his twin. He realized that during their whole conversation Beel hadn’t looked him in the eyes once.

Beel however took a few weary steps back as Belphie approached him. His gaze continued to be locked on the floor as he stood there silently avoiding his twin.

“Beel, please just look at me, that’s all I’m asking right now. Please.” Belphie pleaded.

Beel shook his head as his gaze reminded on the floor. You swore you could see tears begin form in his eyes.

You watched the youngest demon brother completely break down in front of you when his twin continued to ignore his pleads. You had never seen Belphie like that…ever. This was a new side of him you were now experiencing, but you can’t say you exactly like the broken expression he was currently wearing.

“You can’t even look me in the eyes can you?”

“I’m sorry Belphie…it should have been me, not Lilith-“

“Shut up! Don’t you dare say that again. Don’t you dare think that ever, you hear me, Lilith decided to fight that day because she wanted to, just like all of us. So don’t you ever give me that crap you hear!” Belphie screamed.

Beel’s eyes widened slightly and he finally looked up to see his twin with an upset expression as tears streamed down his face.

“Belphie-“

“Enough Beel…all that matters as of right now is that you’re here with all of us okay?”

After Belphie spoke, you then added to his statement and reassured the Avatar of Gluttony, as tears streamed down his face when you spoke to him softly.

The rest of his brothers, including Satan, assured him that what happened was meant to happen, and that all that matters right now in the “present” is that they all have each other. Belphie smiled and hugged Beel, claiming he wouldn’t trade anything in the world for him as Beel tightly hugged him back while a few stray tears fell down his cheeks.

Soon all of you joined the group hug and smiled happily as Beel wiped the tears from his eyes and thanked everyone.