#They’re the Smart Dumbass Duo

[obsessedwithceleste]

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Dedicated to this lil request here 🫶🏽

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

It’s no secret that Theodore Nott had a rough childhood

Between witnessing his mother’s death at a young age and having a particularly ruthless father, Theo learned to be quietly reserved early on

1000% Theo is an introvert

Despite being seemingly closed off, he’s extremely observant and good at reading others and picking up on things quickly

While he may not be the best at deciphering his own emotions, he’s able to sort through others’ easily

This makes it easy for him to be rather manipulative because he knows what makes other’s tick and how to go straight for the jugular

He may be distant and off putting in the beginning, but once you get close, he’s a clingy bastard because he doesn’t let many people get close, so once you make it there he’ll basically hold you captive forever

He’s also stupid smart

(Canonically he’s able to re-create an illegal time turner after they were all destroyed in the department of mysteries so//)

And this makes him a bit of an arrogant asshole

Looks down on people he thinks aren’t as smart as him

He definitely thinks that he knows best and can have a “my way or the highway” type mindset

Probably has some type of gifted kid™️ trauma and a crippling fear of failure

Anyway, he’s super intelligent and witty and has the potential to do really well in classes

But he has a nasty habit off skiving off with Mattheo Riddle

Who happens to be his best friend along with Lorenzo Berkshire

A lot of people think Theo is the “mother” of the group, or at least the one with the most impulse control

They’re wrong

Theo is the one that Mattheo goes to with his dumbass ideas and Theo’s response is generally something along the lines of-

“Absolutely not you tosser. If we’re going to do it, we’re going to do it right”

Queue Mattheo’s initial plan- only methodically planned out to cause maximal amounts of emotional trauma for the Hogwarts population

Theo and Mattheo are also a chaotic duo on the quidditch pitch

Theo is a chaser

Making the quidditch team in his third year is one of the only times his father showed a hint of satisfaction with the boy

Being on the Slytherin quidditch team, he’s often labeled a preppy jock

And Mattheo does help him break out of his shell more

But he’s a nerdy lil book worm at heart and likes to be holed up in the library most days

Theo also has quite the reputation of being a ladies man with rumors about his escapades swarming the student body

But really they’re just that- rumors

Lorenzo is more of the openly flirtatious pretty boy, and Mattheo certainly knows how to make his way around which is perhaps why people think Theo would be the same way

But he isn’t one to really form physical attachments- emotional or not

He prefers to fly under the radar

He may have had a fling or two, but isn’t one to kiss and tell

He has a hard time entering a real relationship

Mostly because when he first realizes he’s caught feelings, he’s convinced he’s actually just ill and stays in bed pretending to be sick

But once he comes to terms with things, he’s one determined wizard

Makes sure everyone knows that you’re off limits (possibly before you know yourself)

Definitely goes to Enzo for advice on how to woo you

With varying degrees of success

King of subtle PDA (just enough to mark his territory)

Confident and secure in his relationship, but also still jealous as hell

Will hex the living shit out of someone for breathing at you the wrong way

Finds it amusing when you get jealous though

But will shut it the fuck down as soon as he picks up on you being actually upset (probably embarrassing whoever it is in the process)

Not always the best at communicating his feeling cause he’s emotionally constipated af

But tries because he knows he doesn’t want a relationship like his parent’s

Okayyy I think that’s all for now, but I have a feeling these will grow and evolve with time sooo- ongoing (?) idk

[emberunderscore]

FableSMP EPIC the musical AU

whole thing comes from the perspective of Midas (as Quixis specifically) being Scylla, which means Icarus has to be Odysseus, which is also fitting tbh.

this is only based on the released sagas bc i dont have the vibe of the future characters yet (i dont look at a whole lot of snippets). also dont think about any of the blood family stuff too hard - theres nothing weird dw but it just makes stuff complicated with the gods

Monsters

Scylla - Quixis Midas

The ideas of Scylla being human turned monster, Midas is human turned Quixis, which in this universe could be something of a replacement for monstrous, which also works with 

Spooky bitch Midas propaganda

Look at my edit to be even more convinced

Polyphemus - Leviathan/Vorago

Probably makes most sense with Leviathan

Instead of the parent/child relationship with Poseidon they're siblings (ocie is poseidon)

Humans/Dead people

Odysseus - Icarus

Icarus has to be Ody because of Midas being Scylla

The song Monster

The conflicts within the plot work well with Icarus’ own relationships

Eury and Ody see each other as brothers, even though it isn't’t blood. Maybe they’re not blood related in this AU

Eurylochus: Rae

Brothers!!

Rae is seen as the leader of Lodestar, which works well with Eury’s place as the voice of the crew

Penelope: Centross??

prison duo

but it actually works because Icarus would do anything for him. just look at season 3

he's probably not smart enough to be penelope but the agenda is more important than that

Telemachus: Oscar

Ik Oscar isn't Icarus' kid but he is Centross and theoretically Centross would've been the one to raise him anyway

See Legendary

Polities: Athena

Optimist

Song open arms

"everything's changed since polities"

Perimedes: Caspian

Perimedes is the one who stabs Odysseus in the back to stop him from killing Eurylochus in Mutiny

For Rae? Cas wouldn't hesitate

Tireseas: Haley

Dead prophet

who else

Ody's dead mom: Isla

Isla is Icarus' mom??? In this AU??? /s

Gods

Zeus: Fable

Orignially this was Epros but I was convinced to change it

Massive ego

Yellow

Actual reasons in this post

Athena: Enderian

This could also be fable but I dont think Icarus would defy him like how he does

Goddess of the Mind, need I say more

Aeolus: Aurelius

They have the vibes I think

Aeolus is gender and so is Aurelius

There are a lot of options I think

I like the idea of the Winions(?) being the piglins they had in their bunker

Poseidon: Ocie

Ocean

At the beginning Ocie is so ready to kill people, she does not care for human life. Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves

She would do that for Vorago

Canon compliant beef with Icarus 

Circe: Momboo

My first thought was Ven because I'm a fucking dumbass

It makes so much more sense than Ven

Plant lady, plant witch

badass

girlboss

pretty woman

Hermes: Rakai

They have the vibes

One of the very few gods to tolerate Icarus

gender

Apollo: Malitae

Apollo sounds so fruity in god games

Apollo cares most about music in god games which is a form of expression so i think it fits for Malitae to be him

Hephaestus: Nexus

In god games Hephaestus' thing is trust, he's pissed that Ody betrayed his crew

Nexus is the Goddess of Loyalty so it fits really well that she'd be upset about that

Nexus was also a knight so being a god of blacksmithing isn't too far from that

Aphrodite: Soul

Aphrodite cares about Ody's mom's broken heart

If we thing of it in the context of soulbonds it makes sense that Soul would be upset about that

Ares: Netherum

Ares is the only one in god games to match Athena's power, which checks out - major god to major god

Maybe its a bit ooc for Netherum themself

But god of destruction as the god of war. thats something

Would totally step in for Soul

Hera: Perix

In this AU we ignore family dynamics- Perix is not married

Calls Athena "baby" (kinda gay)

Fits the vibe

can you come up with a better idea? no, nor could I (credit to Sardar106 for this casting lol)

Calypso: Ven

They're so "This could never really happen but let us pretend"

"I wish we could've been something"

Look at this post (person who reblogged has better words than me go read that)

thank you for coming to my au talk. please share your own thoughts and opinions (but also remember that i am objectively correct all of the time /j)

Updated after Wisdom Saga

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

DUMBASS DUO SHOWDOWN ROUND 3 BATTLE 2

JOSUKE HIGASHIKATA & OKUYASU NIJIMURA (JOSUYASU) FROM JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE VS SOKKA AND AANG FROM AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

PROPAGANDA

JOSUYASU

JOSUYASU PROPAGANDA

Josuke is fairly decent, but okuyasu, you know how in math, if you multiply a negative number with a positive one it is always negative, that is josuyasu for you. Josuke has 6 braincells and Okuyasu has -6734. Their first meeting was okuyasu trying to kill josuke, then he shows up at his house a few days later and goes "hey lets go to school! btw your mom is hot!" Josuke punches a plate of spaghetti because he thinks the chef is evil, they both fight a middle schooler who stole their cash. Okuyasu got the third most op ability in his part but he is too stupid (and kind) to realize it. Somehow they survive their entire part. They are thus far the second jojo and jobro duo to not lose each other. the second one? THEM IN AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE! (okay but okuyasu is swapped for koichi in that one, but still).

Josuke normally is pretty smart, but somewhat silly, but Okuyasu. Isn’t incredibly bright but he’s the best jojo character idc. Okuyasu brings out josukes stupid and then they are just besties and totally bouncing off each other’s stupid ideas. Idk what Okuyasu does to josukes brain but I’m here for it

I saw the post title and without reading anything else immediately went to submit them, only to go back and read the full post and realize they were included by default. They are THE dumbass duo. Ever. The worst protagonists for a detective story, but they dumbassed around so hard they somehow caught a genius serial killer. No matter who wins, they’ll always be the number 1 dumbasses in my heart.

they are the best of friends, which of course means they met by trying to kill each other.

They’re both so stupid. Like josuke isn’t that stupid on his own but he’s kinda dumb and when you put him with dumbass incarnate okuyasu they multiply each others’ stupidness. Together they are a menace.

JOSUKE AND OKUYASU FOR THE WIN BECAUSE THEY SPEND AN ENTIRE DAY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER OR NOT A RANDOM ITALIAN WAS EVIL BECAUSE HIS PASTA WAS TOO GOOD

Okuyasu and Josuke share a braincell and they lose that braincell at least 5 times a day

The majority of Diamond is Unbreakable is those two getting themselves and their friends into absurd situations. There's no way the sportsboys can compete with discovering aliens are (maybe???) real and immediately trying to use the alien(??) to cheat at dice. Then they burned down someone's house

#josuyasu are DUmbass Incorporated and i love them#its literally canon that okuyasu has one of The Most Powerful Abilities In The Entire JJBA Universe#but is too dumb and good natured to put it to world ending use

this gif

GIF by hellzfire

Aang & Sokka

They are both very intelligent individually, but when put together they lose all of their braincells

they are very intelligent in their own right but loose all their braincells together

independently they are very intelligent and creative. aang is an incredible diplomat and quick on his feet. sokka is a literal inventor and war strategist. leave them alone in a room together and they get so into the bit that they end up giving each other minor head injuries or write a fake letter that they sign with a blind girl's name. they also attempt to sneak a lemur into a royal banquet under aang's hat.

[skzkiyoon]

🎸 yayyy! x LET’S FUCKING GO!

🎸 replies immediately x replies in a million years

🎸 secretly chaotic x openly chaotic

🎸 medium height x tall height

honestly these two match all four of these dynamics. chan does little happy fists and kiyoon will punch the air in excitement (almost as if she would kill someone).

chan replies immediately no matter how serious a message is, and kiyoon takes forever to respond due to being asleep all the time.

chan is known to be the most responsible out of everyone before and after kiyoon joined, but he’s secretly very very chaotic and can be as much as the other members are. kiyoon is openly chaotic no matter what happens, she’s just glad her leader is responsible.

🎸 a smart dumbass x a barely smart dumbass

🎸 dresses nicely x sweatpants and t-shirt

🎸 laughs when they laugh x laughs at everything

🎸 medium height x tall height

lee know is both smart and dumb, but mostly smart. kiyoon is just.. dumb. but she’s also smart sometimes. she’s just no 50/50 like minho.

kiyoon loves her t-shirts, tank tops, and sweatpants. she feels most comfortable with them. lee know is literally stylish even at home and she questions that more often than not at all.

kiyoon laughs at LITERALLY everything. she’s mean but she’s sweet. she WILL laugh at one of the members if they so much as walk into the room funny. lee know will start laughing only because she’s laughing because he thinks her laugh is funny and cute.

🎸 remembers everything x forgets everything

🎸 bothering the sleepy one x the sleepy one

🎸 kendrick lamar lover x bad bunny lover

🎸 medium height x tall height

changbin is just one of those people who has quite a good memory when it comes to a lot of things, while kiyoon forgets everything in the span of 5 minutes.

changbin is just ONE of the people that bothers kiyoon on a daily basis when she’s trying to sleep. like leave the girl aloneeee she wants to rest in PEACE.

kiyoon keeps her spanish culture with her. even though she’s an idol who puts out songs in languages other than her native one, she still listens to some good old bad bunny. changbin likes his kendrick lamar, you can find him listening to it before working on tracks.

🎸 sleepy x sleepy

🎸drama king x angry queen

🎸 short message x long paragraph

🎸 tall height x taller height

sleepy duo part 1. definitely the two you find sleeping on the couch. not much of a sleepy duo as han but definitely places as number 2. they wake up with their hair a total mess and everything.

drama king and his favorite angry queen. they’re both technically drama queens but like kiyoon can just handle more than him LOL. whenever hyunjin gets to be too dramatic it irritates her. he gets a scolding on the spot.

i definitely see hyunjin was someone to get his messages out through short texts, where as kiyoon will say what she has to say in one singular message, no matter how big it may be. it’s just one of her pet peeves.

🎸 silly x silly

🎸 achiever x over achiever

🎸sleepyhead x sleepyhead

🎸 medium height x tall height

definitely so silly when they’re together. if they’re doing lives together it’s always fun because they’re either in the dance room or in another room to stream. always pulling off funny stunts or making the wildest jokes ever.

han definitely gets his goal and achieves everything he needs to in certain amount of time and he’s always proud of it. kiyoon is a hard over achiever. even if she gets something done she feels she needs to keep going until it is perfect. during recording sessions, 3racha (most han) are the only ones allowed to listen to her because they know how hard she works and she won’t let anyone else listen to her. works herself to the brim until they got it breaks because she’s pushing herself.

sleepy duo part 2. now THESE 2 are actually the sleepy duo. they’re found in the most random spots just napping. it could be in the middle of a earth quake and han will just sleep it away, where as kiyoon will wake up as soon as the place she’s sleeping slightly shakes.

🎸 sunshine x sunshine protector

🎸 emotional x secretly emotional

🎸 silly x even more silly

🎸 medium height x tall height

we all know felix is a little ball of sunshine and makes everyone smile, kiyoon has a very big intent to murder if someone were to taint her ball of sunshine (who is probably secretly a living tease).

felix can be emotional when it comes to certain things and definitely expresses how he feels with certain topics often, kiyoon is secretly emotion and doesn’t know how to get all of her emotions out in one go.

kiyoon and felix can be seen as the goofiest members. they’re always making the most random faces for bubble users and posting out of pocket pictures together on their instagrams. on camera, the first thing every stay try to look for is a moment where kiyoon and felix make everyone laugh.

🎸 “absolutely not” x “hear me out”

🎸 loveable asshole x loveable asshole

🎸 head in the clouds x steerer of direction

🎸 medium height x tall height

one of our savage’s way to pick on kiyoon is not listening. “just hear me out on this minnie.” “I absolutely— will not listen.” she wants to fight him every time he does that.

they are both loveable assholes, seungmin is just savage #1 and kiyoon is savage #2. never a dull moment. they’re always picking on people but obviously they’re still loved by many.

yk that face seungmin makes on live sometimes when he’s just staring at the camera with nothing on his mind? yeah times like those is when kiyoon attempts to bring him back to reality and be like “what was the last thing I said?”

🎸 regular humor x dark humor

🎸 “i’m gonna fight you” x “okay bet”

🎸 “you don’t like anyone” x “i don’t like them”

🎸 medium height x tall height

jeongin has somewhat of a regular humor for the normal things people joke about.. while kiyoon does not. stays CANT know that though, it’d would either get too chaotic and some people might even become offended. try living with kiyoon’s family, you get used to it.

stays always think these two are always at each others throats. like as soon as they pull up for a skz code filming its immediately time to box. one look from jeongin and kiyoon’s already got him in a headlock. “HE WAS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY.”

kiyoon seriously doesn’t like most people till she gets to know them (besides stays she loves all stays equally) and jeongin being one of those people she goes shopping with knows this more than anyone. she’s a really judgy person so if she sees someone with a weird hairstyle she’ll frown and sigh in disgust. jeongin just keeps up with what she’s talking about. “*sigh*” “let me guess… it’s either the lady with the weird stiches on her head or the guy with mustard stains on his shirt.”

[myymi]

Hi!!

I don't know if this has been asked before but I couldn't find it on your blog, so here I go

(Also if it has been already asked or for any reason, feel free to not answer this, lol)

A few knuckles & tails hcs you'd like to share? Because I am reading your knuckles n tails fics and... Reading them is not enough I need these in my blood...

They're.... brothers... *crying* they are brothers your honor

Oh and, thank you so much for blessing us with your latest fic, I was screaming about protective knuckles!! (this is a compliment)

Anyway, as I said, feel free to ignore this, and I hope you have a great day!!

-💛

heyy!!

nope, no one’s asked for just knuckles&tails hcs, but i’m more than happy to share the ones i have!

they’re both really big history nerds, so they’ll tell each other different stuff they know. knuckles abt the ancient echidnas and tails about anything he can dig up

tails will come drop off books at least every other week for knuckles to read (sometimes they’ll read together, but usually that’s only if it’s a subject tails REALLY likes)

if it’s a cloudless night and they’re both free, tails will fly up to angel island so they can stargaze together :]

knuckles taught tails how to punch properly n other shit. while he doesn’t want tails to have to do that, he understands anything can happen and he wants his baby brother to be safe <3

they explore together !! they’re the perfect duo for it, they can reach any crevice they wish to (also helps tails practice with carrying knuckles around, he learns the best way to hold him and other smart stuff idk)

they both get SO stressed when they’re out with sonic bc his dumbass is convinced he can’t take fall damage (‘make sure to keep an eye on the idiot who can’t fly’ ‘can’t i just build him shoes to make him fly?’ ‘If he’ll take them, go for it’)

tails gave knuckles a ton of pointers on how to land better when having to drop from higher points to avoid causing too much pain

tails is one of the few people knuckles trusts to be alone with the master emerald

knuckles just.. picks tails up whenever he feels like it. no warnings either, he’s just snatched up fr

they both like napping in sunbeams :] there have been many instances where sonic’s found them snoozing next to the master emerald, tails curled up on knuckles’ chest and them both snoring away

knuckles usually just lives off of whatever fruit he picks, but he does make an effort to cook for tails when he visits <3

tails makes a lot of reinforced technology for knuckles so he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally breaking anything (he did once and he felt SO bad)

during infinite’s attack, before tails ran off, he went to knuckles for comfort <3 knuckles was also the main person who looked after/checked on him

knuckles actually adores tails, because he’s such a sweet kind, not to mention incredibly smart AND he’s strong enough to carry him and sonic like oanrowineg he’s so impressed with this kid and he makes sure tails understands that (which, bless his heart, he’s so confused as to why the guardian of the master emerald likes him so much)

whenever knuckles learned of tails’s past, he literally almost went to west side to beat up tails’s bullies because how DARE they put this child through all of that

when they were younger, and tails was still a little insecure abt his extra tail, knuckles would go out his way to make positive comments abt it oiebfowbe (‘that is a wonderful advantage you have. truly a gift’ ‘i would love to have an ability such as yours. you’re a blessing to this world’)

tails taught knuckles how to spindash

when tails got tired after aa long adventure, knuckles would carry him so he could sleep as they made their way back home

knuckles had tails tell him EVERYTHING about the fake chaos emerald he made because that’s so?? how did you manage that tiny child, tell me

they both have pretty severe abandonment issues :( but they help each other get through it <3

that’s all i have off the top of my head! but of course, you can always ask for more!! 💛✨🌼

[forgaeven1]

re-watching house m.d. is actually super fricking delightful because, everyone’s a dumbass, but they’re all smart enough dumbasses that ure constantly stimulated intellectually, and everyones so well written in terms of them being fleshed out without having to be constricted to today’s accepted of 6 - 10 episodes per programmes, but also i’ve learned a few new things abt myself: hugh laurie is actually highkey attractive as house when house takes charge, and wilson and house’s interactions always fucking cracks me up bc they’re genuinely a duo of clowns

[feralsteddie]

Ya know what? Fuck it, I want Steve and Argyle to get high and make out while hanging with Jonathan and Eddie. I need those two to be seething with jealousy.

[ravenclawhalfblood]

Okay but like, Imagine Yelena just being there in Kate’s apartment when she finally gets back from the Barton’s and she’s made herself at home. She’s like “Kate bishop, you promised me a drink” and Kate’s just like “oh, we’re actually doing that?” And she ends up giving her a tour of New York and Yelena simply never leaves and somehow they now live together with their two dogs. They’re constantly getting into the dumbest situations and one day they run into Spider-Man after no way home and end up befriending Peter who’s all alone and depressed. Their chaotic duo becomes a chaotic trio and they become the new vigilantes of New York. Except, half the time they’re trying to fix the problems they themselves caused by accident in the first place cause they all share one brain cell and it’s never Kate’s turn with it. Alone, they’re all pretty smart, capable people but together, they’re just a bunch of dumbasses trying to survive the messes they keep creating.

[sangonomyia]

gamer!scaramouche / reader

headcanons・includes cursing, league of legends terminology 💀

ੈ‧₊˚ you just thought scaramouche was one of those smart kids who hung out w those “harbinger” kids (or wtv they call their little squad…)

ੈ‧₊˚ scara seemed like a not speaking unless spoken to kind of person, but you quickly learned he was one to bite back easily — hence why a relationship between you never bloomed

ੈ‧₊˚ however, your friends childe and signora—two who hung out in scaramouche’s clique—invited you to a discord server to play league of legends with them and a bunch of other people. you knew a fair amount of how the game worked from your older sibling, so you said yes !! … Hehehehe …

“—motherfucker lost a fucking turret within the first three minutes of the game what a fucking dumbass how did you invite people to play with you yet manage waste all of our time bruh i don’t even have as much hours on this game as you do but i’m still better than you who do you even play with..who has the patience to play with you—“

ੈ‧₊˚ …above was what blasted in your earphones as soon as you joined the group call …

ੈ‧₊˚ ................. ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ )

ੈ‧₊˚ and now you have to worry about screwing up and being a potential losing factor. Oh How U Love Men Who Play League Haha..

ੈ‧₊˚ signora and dottore welcomed you despite the … white noise occuring in the background, and you patiently waited for their next game to end while listening to the apparent pro gamer’s scoldings to childe lol

“ok now that they’re in the game, what lanes are we taking guys”

“i’ll take top lane … signora take top too—“

“yeah don’t leave that mf alone ever—“ “bruh stfu already”

“alright, i can take mid.”

“yeah dottore can handle mid alone, so i’ll take bottom.”

“..but who’s y/n going with?”

“……..”

ੈ‧₊˚ you felt your palms sweating against the keyboard and mouse as you took bottom lane with scaramouche, who you had never talked to before—and who you had just witnessed reprimand childe brutally on his poor league skills

ੈ‧₊˚ if childe spent more than enough time on this game … how much more nagging were you—a person who only watched their sibling play—gonna get?!

ੈ‧₊˚ as childe and signora argued during the game with dottore acting as a “mediator”, not a single word peeped out from either you or scaramouche. only the sounds of spam clicking and scaramouche’s occasional huffs of frustration (towards you or the other team, you don’t know) were heard

ੈ‧₊˚ you felt your hands stiffen and sweat, your brain was racking up strategies, tips, and tricks that you could remember from the past gameplay you’d seen

ੈ‧₊˚ even with all the obnoxious chatter from your other teammates, it felt as if you were being assessed, every move you made being watched — from the way you used your main’s attacks disorderly to the way you just spam clicked to attack a turret !!!?!

ੈ‧₊˚ it was at this moment when you realized you never wanted to touch league again, interact with scaramouche, etc all due to the hawk’s eye you felt from him. it was enough to make your face feel like it was on fire—a casual player bottom lane-ing out with a berating, experienced player

“…” “mf signora doesn’t know where top lane is where tf are you—“

“…” “HUH i’ve literally been in the lane this whole time you just havent seen me because your dumbass keeps trying to travel through jungle ” “LMFAOOOOO”

“…”

“…”

ੈ‧₊˚at this point it felt like scaramouche’s silence was pricklier than his constant bashing. you didn’t know which one was worse, but—

“YOUR TEAM HAS DESTROYED A TURRET!”

“bruh isn’t this y/n’s second turret destroyed..!? scara what the hell are you doing, and why are they carrying you lol”

“shut the hell up, i’ve been killing the enemies while they destroy the turrets”

“lets gooo you and y/n are a better duo than you and childe that’s for sure”

“...yeah, why didn’t you mfs invite them to play with us before huh?” and with that, scaramouche let out a breathy laugh. it sounded proud and accomplished, a sound so contrasting from his berating towards childe. you felt your cheeks heat up, not because of your embarrassment this time but how wonderful it was to hear. your chest tightened for a moment at how that quiet, snappy kid seemed to put his guard down around you. you never needed validation from anyone, but receiving it from him was .. was .. was 😵‍💫!!?!?!?

ੈ‧₊˚ and scaramouche let out that laugh bc of … bc … bc of … of … you !!??!!?!?! YOU ?

ੈ‧₊˚ ever since then, you've been hopping on calls whenever you could with them. if you guys played league, it was an unspoken agreement that you and scara would play in the same lane. eventually, you found him dropping casual, subtle praises whenever you got some kills in or destroyed a turret. in return, you found yourself teasing the self proclaimed “god-sent clutch” more and more, finding out his weaknesses that sent him beyond flustered

ੈ‧₊˚ even when you weren’t playing at your best, scaramouche wouldn’t berate you for it like you think he would. he would reassure you (in his own way) with words like “mf it’s fine just get your ass back here” or “wow now the pressure lies on me to do your job of carrying us smh”

ੈ‧₊˚ your little gaming group soon ventured out into games other than league, like lighthearted farming games, sandbox survival games, or you’d all join a call to watch childe get the shit scared out of him when foxy came running through the hallways of five nights at freddy’s

ੈ‧₊˚ you and scaramouche started texting and calling privately when no one else was online to join the minecraft realm signora had paid for. it started out from little dms inquiring about what time the group would hop online, to conversations needing help with school homework, until you both started calling each other separately—where it was just you two enjoying whatever you guys were doing during those calls: destroying other teams in rounds of bedwars duos, doing homework together, or staying up until 4 am talking about things you were sure scaramouche wouldn’t let anyone else hear besides you

ੈ‧₊˚ it never occurred to you that gamers had their own way of showing affection … until scaramouche happened. you caught him doing little things in the group calls that made your heart explode, whether it was constantly killing you to hoard out reactions of you, letting you and only you into his minecraft base, only saying yes to playing roblox: royale high if you asked, so on and so forth

ੈ‧₊˚ you didn’t want to take these actions too seriously. after all, he was just a gamer boy, nothing else, and you were sure he’s done this with everyone else in the group—how else would he have gotten close to the people in your gaming group now besides teasing them too? plus, you weren’t really sure if romance was on the first thing on this boy’s mind. all he really had it going for him was his skill in gaming, top of the class grades, and you were sure he was going to follow his mom’s paths in careers regarding leadership

ੈ‧₊˚ it was only when dottore had come up to you after school to ask if you and scaramouche wanted to hang out. you were a little confused, yes you and scara grew closer but shouldn’t he just ask him himself?

“i can hang out after school, but why don’t you just ask scara? i don’t know his agenda.”

“oh alright, i just assumed you guys would be together or something but just meet us at wanmin”

ੈ‧₊˚ … he just assumed you guys would be together or something? what the hell is that supposed to mean

ੈ‧₊˚ another out-of-the-blue occurrence was when signora started giggling at you after scaramouche dropped you guys off to your class, since his was a few rooms away

“ehehehehe”

“huh”

“you know scara waits until the last minute to get to his classes? he never walked with me and childe to class before and just played that stupid something-impact game on his phone”

“okay..? are you implying that i’m a good influence on him or what”

“hehehehehehehe”

ੈ‧₊˚ from interacting for the first time online to talking every day at school, you knew that your relationship with scaramouche had most certainly bloomed

ੈ‧₊˚ but when the snappy kid who usually bit back at anyone seemed to soften up around you, when the boy who had his claws out in defense was fine with you brushing your hand against his, it made you wonder

ੈ‧₊˚ could you win him over? not as in victory and he’s a game, but a trophy you could clasp to take care of, to treasure, to hold? could scaramouche be yours? with all the advantages and weaknesses you knew against him, was it possible to hear that breathy laugh of his again? was it possible to always be the cause of his sounds of joy and pleasure?

ੈ‧₊˚ it felt like a game, but not in a way where you play until you’re bored and move on. it was a game of chess, and you hoped to checkmate yourself into his heart <3

endnote this wasn’t supposed to be this long LOL but as you can tell, i am entirely whipped for gamer scaramouche hehe ^_^ yeah Yeah yeah this is definitely not based on real experience lol Hahahah…... anyways !!! i love scara the hc of him being a gamer makes me so !(!,$:$? literally like that would mean he’s good with his fingers. Like .!,!?$$/!? im combusting

[messwriting]

Written for The Smut Pile Collab: Western AU | MASTERLIST HERE.

(my saddle’s waiting) ride it

Iwaizumi “Big Guns” Hajime x Female Reader

Rating: E for explicit | Don’t read this if under eighteen.

Warnings: Being ridiculous in front of your crush. Porn With Plot. Not researched strippers industry. Lowkey exhibitionism. Oral in a public space (bathroom); Cock-blocked Interrupted orgasms; Masturbation/fingering; Fingering  in public (street), then while driving. Driving while fingering? Unsafe driving. Fucking against a door, then a wall. Alcohol and mentions of drugs. Side Tendou/Oikawa. Bit of a teasing, overconfident Iwachan.  A poor excuse of oblivious colleagues to lovers.

Word count: WAY TOO BIG. +11k.

Note: 🤠 Brought by your wicked duo degenerates, Saint Dymphna and me:  LAWBREAKERS MULTIVERSE 🤠 electric bogaloo

You guys know the drill @dymphnasprose​ started this all with their tempting ways! It was the image of Iwaizumi all oiled up,  working in his garage like Channing Tatum that made me cave and do this. Once again, being with Dymph is nothing short of amazing and I LOVE THEM  🥺💕💕

This is wayyyy too ploty for something where I just wanted people to bang, but you guys know how I get with Iwaizumi. I’m not totally happy about how this turned out but honestly I have no time to work on it and it has to be out. You guys will realize I went full myself with Reader’s crush on Iwaizumi in this. Sorry not sorry.

Biiig, huuuuuge thanks to both @vanille--kiss​ and @oneblonded​ for their help in beta-ing this, you guys are incredible.  💕 As always a big thanks to @mixedhell​ who always helps me when I’m troubled <3

Iwa’s song: Pony (of course)

You can also read: MAKKI | MATTSUN 

You check your phone and realize you’re late… again.

You hate, hate, hate morning classes, but if you want to be in time for your internship and still have time to study and, well, live, you’re obligated to accept the first class of the day on a Friday. You hate it, and you hate it even more that it’s how you have to end your week but you’ve made peace with it. 

That doesn’t mean you can actually get there in time, reason why you’re twenty minutes late running with your keys and coffee in one hand while you try to balance both your books and your backpack with the other. And when you push the door with your hip, it makes a loud squeaking noise while opening, ruining both your quiet entry and bringing everyone’s eyes on you, of course, because when have you ever been granted a fucking break, right?

“Sorry!” You murmur while trying your best into making a curt bend, and your professor looks over his glasses to you in a very pointed manner but other than that he  resumes what he was speaking on before.

You know he hates you being late (especially as a repeat offender) but you’re a fairly participative student and you regularly earn one of his top grades, so you think that buys you some slack -- and leverage. You go to your habitual seat by the wall, and try your best not making any other noises while you set everything in their places and, thankfully, a moment later, you’re able to breathe while in your seat, with your open computer and notes ready. You give yourself about twenty seconds to drink a bit of your coffee and check out where in the topic the professor is lecturing about.

“That’s why Iwaizumi-san will be receiving your papers. I’ll be returning to the next week, and in the time being, he’ll be doing the full TA hours. If you have any questions just ask him and remember to schedule appointments before-hand, if possible.” Your professor states something that makes it clear you lost some important announcement at the beginning of the class and your eyes fly to Iwaizumi in response, but the man is just sitting at his normal place, front class, quietly nodding to the professors’ explanation while his big hands fly over his notepad. 

You sigh, wistfully, and take another sip of your coffee while your eyes thread over his form, clad in loose jeans that still seem tight in those amazing thighs of his and a hoodie that doesn’t do much to hide those incredible arms. Iwaizumi isn’t very tall, but he’s still taller than you and his shoulders are broad enough to engulf anything behind him when you stand too close. God, you wished Iwaizumi would do full TA hours on you anytime. He could work you into overtime too, you certainly don’t mind. 

You gulp down the saliva that overflows your mouth with some coffee and leaves another small breath to accompany your thoughts. 

You snicker just a bit and Iwaizumi’s eyes are suddenly on yours and your blood pressure peaks in a second while you choke on your coffee. Your teacher asks if you’re okay and you are obligated to answer yes while trying to shrink into the chair. 

See. Incredible track-record.

You manage to not make a complete clown of yourself during class again and even win over some praise from your professor for your contributions in the debate about ethical issues and patient safety. It’s usual that you and Iwaizumi end up interacting with each other’s input in debates but he was quiet today and when you’ve made an addition to his comment about unhelpful patients and mandatory rest all he did was nod and roll his jaw. As if you know what the fuck that means.

You chalk it up to him stressing over being in full TA hours for the week and when the class ends you stay in your seat while finishing typing some notes before you blink and they’re suddenly lost in your brain. When you look up and start packing your things you realize there’s only you and Iwaizumi left in the class and notice he’s looking directly at you, almost as if he was waiting for it.

You don’t think there’s another man who can look so dashing before ten am and with just a small corner lip smile, but hey, you’re not complaining.

“Hey,” he says a one-word greeting and holds his hand up and your heart leaps before you can manage to send a smile his way. Ah, it’s really unfair how cute he is. 

“Hey Iwa,” you greet back in a fair tone even if you feel a bit hot in the face, “You were unusually quiet today.”

He smirks and his hand clasps his neck for a moment while he scratches his hair. “Aa, just busy.” He hooks his backpack over his shoulder and walks over to you while you’re still packing your books. “You lost the warning, right?” 

“Yeah, late. Something important?”

“Nothing big. It’s the deadline for the midterm article, which you lost the explanation to but here--” He extends you his open notepad and you see the notes and instructions there, scribbled in block letters not very neatly, but fairly organized. You look it over briefly, confirm that is nothing different from the normal and bring your phone to take a picture. 

“Thanks, Iwa. Do you need any help with the TA hours?”

“Nah. It’s all fine. I organized my internship last month to have this week off.”

“Oh, smart,” you say as you swing your backpack over your shoulder and pick up your purse and the single book that couldn’t fit with your laptop in it. Iwaizumi makes you nervous. You’re fairly sure it’s because of the massive fucking crush you have on him. “Well, let me know if you need help.”

“Thanks,” you notice that he stays there looking at you for a second more... And then a few seconds more. 

“Is everything okay?

“You’ve been getting to class late a lot,” his eyes turn wide when he realizes what he just blurted out and the small pink dust atop his cheeks could be the thing that ends up killing you. Your brain gets lost in a chant of CUTECUTECUTE and for a moment you resist the urge to clench your books to your chest. “The professor asked me to see if everything was okay.”

“Oh, ah…” You actually force a bit of laugh out at that, surprised and a bit breathless. Dammit, you monitor two classes and then suddenly being a little bit late becomes a crime. “It’s nothing, actually. I’m just not a morning person. And I hate early classes, but I needed to get this one because of my internship, so I’m struggling with the time.”

Iwaizumi nods and even gives you a short smile while you two start walking alongside one another out of the class. “Ah, you should really fix your sleep schedule. You know the drill, eight hours every night.”

“You mean that impossible thing?” You laugh and thank him when he opens the door for you two to pass. Hot and a gentleman, God really has favorites. “I’m trying, but it’s easier said than done and I’m something of a night owl.”

“Brat. You’re just on your phone until late,” Iwaizumi snickers and you all but gasp, and before you can say anything he’s signaling to the other side you’re going. “I still have classes, see you on the TA hours?”

“Yeah, I have two days of TA next week,” you manage to squeak out without making a fool of yourself after he calls you a brat and even smiles his way despite the way you feel a sudden heat wave over your body.

“Nice. See you then.”

“Bye Iwa.”

You scurry off the other side and when you turn a corner you stop and do something absolutely ridiculous that is an internal scream with your head against the wall. You press your forehead against the cold tile and breathe about two or three times, all while your mind goes into overheat after a small talk with Iwaizumi Hajime, the hottest, most amazing Teacher Assistant this Physical Therapy course must have ever had.  

You hear someone saying your name while you try to recover and when you look to your side your heart sinks to your stomach as your eyes turn into plates. Hajime is looking at you funny, holding out a small paper to you and probably wondering if you’re okay in the head. Of course it’s him. It wouldn’t be you if this didn’t happen. 

“Ahhh, hi again?” You squeeze out in a weird breathless voice and Iwaizumi’s eyes seem to turn a pretty dark shade while his lips spread in a grin.

“You let this fall.” 

Sure, of course, you dumbass did. 

“Are you okay?”

“Thanks, Iwa. I was uhhh just…” You press your lips because your mind is blank and then God decides to cut you some slack with a momentaneous brilliance. “I forgot an important thing was due tonight and yeah, I was just screaming at myself.”

“Anything I can help with?” 

Yes. Marry me. Or just fucking, you’re not picky. 

Your whole face burns and you lower your eyes for a moment because the images assaulting you are just too much. Iwaizumi looks just so good up close, all sharp jawline and hard planes on that spiky jet-black hair and green eyes. Jesus Christ, looking like that should be illegal.

“No, it’s just something for this bachelorette party I have tonight.” God decides to grace you with some more lying skills and you thank them internally. There’s even a smile on your face. 

Iwaizumi nods away with your explanation.

 “Ohh,” He says with a smirk and your heart does a leap. “That’s nice. Give the bride my congrats.”

“Thanks. I’ll tell her.” Then, he extends the paper again and you finally grab it, once again making a fool of yourself to him. “Sorry, thanks for this.” 

Iwaizumi just nods and smiles your way, quickly turning back and leaving after saying goodbye and waving your way. This time you have half a mind to search a bathroom before screaming for real.

-

Honestly, you cannot believe where you are right now. Lawbreakers. The name is written in a pretty calligraphy font in bright fucking neon that simply demands attention in the dark of night. It’s the final stop of the bachelorette party of your good friend to which you are late. From the group text, everyone is at least nicely buzzed and you’ve been laughing with the ridiculous pictures the group of women have been sending you non-stop while calling you a buzzkill. 

As your car pulls into the front of the place, you just can’t help but snort. It’s cheesy, definitely tacky but nice, a use of the western theme that actually plays well. 

Outside there’s a neon cowboy riding a horse and you just… can’t help but be amused. There’s a small line of women waiting even when it’s already late but you walk up front as your friend had told you too, perks of being a member of the VIP entourage of women partying in the allegedly last night for your friend to be free. 

The doorman lets you in quickly and just as you’re passing the threshold a tall, pretty and lean, but built man clad in nothing but a white outfit rolls to your side, offering a flute of sparkling wine from a tray.

“Well, look at that.” The smile he sends you is trained, but charming and you can’t help but smile back. “We truly do have the prettier customers. Can I offer you some champagne? Maybe something stronger?”

You’re just bringing your hand up to say no when you stop, muse about how much catching up you’ll have to do with your friends inside and shrugs. “Well, better get a head start, right?”

“Yes!” He congratulates you, standing too close as he brings you a flute and deposits on your fingers, his hand trailing on your pulse for a moment before he lets go. Then, he throws you another charming smile, the mischief reaching his eyes this time. “That’s a good girl~”

You try to hide the way his charm works by letting your mouth fall in a small laugh, but something tells you he catches that either way. That, you think, is what you call a seasoned pleaser.

“Thank you.” 

Your cheeks are heating the tiny bit as you scurry off the corridor to the club insides, following the loud music and increasingly louder screams.

“Enjoy the show!” The man chuckles behind you and you raise your glass in acknowledgment, hurrying inside to do just that. 

Honestly, it’s not what you were expecting. 

As you pass the wooden saloon doors at the end of the corridor, the sound of screaming surrounds you as physical waves, washing through your body in such a high pitch you stumble in your heels. The energy inside makes you unable to not enjoy yourself automatically, surrounded by tables of women and a few groups of men all completely enthralled on the show that’s already happening inside.

For starters, western decoration aside, you were definitely not expecting to see your friend, the bride-to-be, being grinded on stage. 

The strawberry-blonde male is thrusting against the center of your friend's legs, precise and exciting wave-like motions that clearly are making everyone inside, your friend included, lose their minds. He grinds and holds himself up, moves your friend around as if she’s a doll and humps her behind. It looks so sinful and still in perfect beat with the song and for a second your mind just-- short circuits, hand shooting to your mouth as the laughs tip over loud and hearty. Your friend is burning in embarrassment at the way the man is moving and grinding on her, hands almost locked on her body as if she thinks she can’t move or something will just blow up. 

Then again maybe she’s the one who’ll blow up, being so close to such a fucking hot man. You can definitely see how that would make her blow a fuse, completely not used to this kind of thing. 

You manage to stop laughing at your friend losing it on stage and quickly spot the table, the balloons that have been featured in lots of pictures making themselves seen: bright teal things stating “one dick forever”. Every single one dressed in black and with their current bright plastic cowboy hat. It could be worse; if the place wasn’t so fitting with it’s bright lights and mixed decorations ranging from cowboy neon signs and saddles in place of stools.

By the time you manage to walk over amidst the screaming and join in on the girls fun, the showman has finally let your friend go in prol of fishing another happy bride and she looks every bit completely shaken as you’ve thought.

“Hey, baby, you good?” The slit in her white dress is higher, clearly a side effect of the way the man hiked her legs just so…open, and you chuckle at how she huffs a breath out and let herself fall against the cushions, both parts pent up and mortified. 

Well, you’re already liking the place. 

Then, one of the other bridesmaids presses a full plastic flute of champagne to your hand, calls everyone up to a toast and you let yourself fall back into the festivities. Your friend seems to be having a hard time coming back from the heated grinding session in the middle show, to which she excuses herself from the table and reassures everyone that she’s fine. Still, you pull her on the side, ask her once again if she’s okay, to which she just explains she needs some air.

God, you understand.

You were about to follow her when another bridesmaid pulled you into a hug, happily chatting about how this place was incredible, and trying to fill you in on the fun you missed by being late. Your eyes accompany your friend for a moment, seeing as she walks a bit clumsy but otherwise fine to the corridor that leads to the bathroom. Well, she would be fine.

The current show ends and the lights glow brighter, finally allowing you to check out the place. The Lawbreakers Club is nice and full; filled to the brim with groups of women and men around and apparently yours is not the only bachelorette party taking place in the western-themed strip bar. The waiters are wearing skimpy little clothing, the place decorated as a cross-theme of magic mike and an imitation of a western saloon.

Then, before you can even finish the current drink you have in your hands,  the lights go down once again while the stage is lightened up in bright neon. You’re all close enough and with an amazing stage view to catch when a very tall, very pretty, brunette who welcomed you earlier comes to the middle of the stage. 

The crowd goes immediately wild as the song is lowered to a simple mumble in the background and the man walks slowly to the center stage, open hands and the devastating smile of someone who knows they’re all that and more. 

Bit obnoxious but hey, there’s a literal horde of women screaming for him. You’d say it’s acceptable.

“Well, well, well, look like we have a full house tonight.”

The screaming reignites, sounding even louder since they also come from your own table and you can’t help but laugh. 

“Are you guys ready for the next show?” The crowd screams a resonant yes. “Good. Let us make a lot of noise for two of our best, biggest outlaws around.” As the cheers erupted once again, you can actually hear some names being called, all revolving around names with big, pretty or animals thrown around. 

“Did someone actually scream for Issei Horsecock?” You ask the bridesmaid closer to you and both of you laugh when she says yes. “Oh, wow.”

 “Yes, yes, you know the ones. Now, let’s make our Big Guns flustered with the warm welcome, you know what a big softie he actually is under all that hard, big, brute exterior.” It’s actually enthralling to see Oikawa dealing with the crowd, you can’t help but laugh away at his faces and double meaning. Then he stops, winks at the crowd and goes, “Maybe he just needs a ride. So, ride it, ponies.”

It’s clear the announcement everyone was waiting for, as the crowd loses right there. The lights are once again focused on the stage, dripping low as the music picks up in a sexy beat as two big, broad and athletic men make their ways to the center stage, Oikawa nowhere to be seen anymore.  

You cannot believe your eyes. You blink them once but then become completely unable to tear your vision from the image unfolding in front of you even for a second. The men comes to the front of the stage, holds onto the pole dance and undulates in a sinful, unholy trusting motion that has your mouth watering and he falls backwards with his hand supporting himself as his legs part on the metal pole and he keeps trusting in time with the bass, a honest-to-god mimic of sex that has you swalowing dry and drooling, your body heating up at the simple images that ellicit in your brain. 

He does a twirl in the air, falls in a plank and holds a hand up to hold his cowboy hat all while supporting his body in only one hand. He undulates in thrust motions, twerk his ass in the air before pressing down and takes his hat off his head as a display of strength you never in your mind thought would get you this bothered. 

His jet black hair is short and spiky, mussed by sweat and you immediately licks your lips at the salacious thought of licking it up from his skin. He falls with his back on the floor, start once again to proove just how fucking incredible it would be to ride him and then gets up in one single jump that knocks the air of your lungs. 

You take in all of him as the light catches on his perfect body, wearing nothing more than an open black leather vest with beaten dark jeans and a big, daunting belt buckle and the cowboy hat in his hand. 

And you feel as you have a out of body experience as his face registers in your mind, that mischievous smirk gracing his lips making your whole brain crash into a halt because you recognize that man as no one other than Iwaizumi Hajime, your long-time crush and Teacher Assistant with whom you were just earlier today.

Your eyes are unable to look anywhere but him, completely enthralled by the simplest realization that that single amazing piece of man is actually your long time crush, kind-of-friend and colleague. It feels unreal, impossible, to wrap your head around that piece of information and you’re rendered speechless, mind-blown and enchanted, eyes locked on his glistening muscles, the spanse of his skin on show growing by the minute as he does movements straight out of a wet dream. 

Yours, to be even more specific. 

It’s clear he doesn’t see you with the dimly lit room and the crew of women chanting. You’re sitting dumbfounded, mouth agape and blood reeling enough that your forehead seems like it will explode, but also feeling as if you’re suspended in a haze - as if Iwaizumi’s body undulating on the air as he holds himself on a pole is something of a spell and you’re definitely sucked in by it.

You can pinpoint the exact moment he sees you, as his show’s ending and the lights around the stage start shining once again. It’s painfully clear how Iwaizumi tenses from the realization, his eyes falling wide and curses tipping from his beautiful lips, the top of his cheekbones lighting up as he all but runs from the front of the crowd and in a moment you’re mirroring his embarrassment, face heating at the bizarre situation you’re finding yourself into. 

Your TA is a stripper. And a very good, famous one at that. 

What exactly are you supposed to do with this information?

It’s almost an hour and about three shows later where you’re filling your head pounding by the beat, unable to relax even as delicious men pass through your table and play with your friends. 

You feel tense, paranoid at what exactly has happened and where Iwaizumi may be, stomach turning and unresponsive as you try to sooth it with booze until you give up, rising on unsteady legs. Muscles strained from how long you’ve been sitting still, afraid to look anywhere and be slapped across the room with some other shocking news.

You take a deep breath as you balance yourself once again on your heels and walk to the bathroom for some needed cool-down, latching on the opportunity when another show is already rolling, a hot but unapproachable-looking man with blond hair and streaks on it owning the stage as if it’s his territory.

As you’re turning on the corridor, however, you’re circled by big arms and yanked from the ground, a yelp turning into silence as you take one look around and find dark green eyes boring into yours, a harsh look on Iwaizumi’s face that make you embarrassed at what it does to your guts.

He scurries off with you inside a place that looks like a private room, fairly dark with red lights around and a ominous pole-dance stage in the middle that makes your mind overheat at the images it summons: the man in front of you clad in nothing but a black jeans rolling his hips up into the air as if daring you to take a ride.

Well, shit.

Iwaizumi’s arms leave your sides and you stumble a bit, eyes diverting down as your face burns. You realize he takes that the wrong way when he sounds gruff and pissed. 

“What? Can’t even look at me now?” 

You look up in time to catch his arms crossing around his front. You wish he didn’t do that, as now you have one of the hottest men you’ve ever seen all angry-looking with bulging arms oiled and shining, clad in nothing but removable pants, leather chaps, vest and a black cowboy hat. 

You groan something unintelligible as you lose the ability to speak and Iwaizumi’s expression turns sour, lips pressed so hard it almost seems like he’s pouting, his hard eyes looking anxious and downcast. 

That’s what helps your brain kickstart, completely unable to see Iwaizumi looking remotely sad and acutely aware of how this must be taxing on him.

“Sorry, I-- It’s not you,” You wince as his eyes center on you, unimpressed, “I mean it! It’s just-- I was caught off guard.”

Iwaizumi makes a humming noise and centers his eyes on you as if he’s waiting for you to keep going but your brain is completely blank, staring at him with wide eyes and burning surprise. You have to make a serious effort to avoid letting your eyes wander his frame.

“So,” you start, unable to handle the silence and Iwaizumi groans, pulling his cowboy hat off to thread fingers over his hair in a nervous display that you’re sure he did not mean to be sexy but ends up being anyway. “I’m not sure what to say here.”

“Shit. What are you even doing here?”

“Bachelorette party,” you answer without missing a beat and he all but groans again, as if just remembering is an actual thing that exists- and probably gives him lots of money if tonight was anything to go by. 

The clear display of his anxiety actually helps you get a bit more at ease, and you can’t help but crackle an awkward smile. “So... you work here.”

“Yes,” Hajime brutal honesty shows he’s regaining his composure. “It’s good money if you work well and the hours are flexible.”

Not the only thing that’s flexible. You bite your lips at the thought to stop the words from actually spilling from your lips.

“I take it you're not public about this?”

“As little as I can considering the pictures and social media. The club is kinda famous, too.”

“I noticed.”

The silence stretches for a moment as Iwaizumi looks around nervously, his stance unmoving. You take a deep breath and sigh, lips falling in an odd, astonished smile. “Wow, Iwa, that’s…”

“What?” He bites back, defensive. You just end up chuckling, long breath falling from your lips as you look at him and can’t help but be once again dumbfolded at how fucking perfect this man is.

“Nothing, it’s just-- I would never expect it. It’s amazing, though. You’re amazing.” You wince at your own words and how telling they are, but carry on despite the burning on your face. “You seemed like a completely different person out there.” 

Definitely not the quiet TA you’re used to. Definitely still completely gorgeous.

Your body tenses as your heart does somersaults in your chest, hunger flaring enough that your throat constricts and your face burns once again.

“Don’t you think it's bad?” It comes out a bit strained, his eyes trained on you, tense and vulnerable. And you just about fall deeper for him right there. 

“Why? It’s your work.” You try your best smile, and after a little consideration Hajime’s shoulders finally seem to relax, lips jutting up just a bit as he breathes deep.

“No one in the university can know though,” Iwaizumi says quickly, eyes on yours with a little, tiny smirk. “Obvious reasons.”

That makes you giggle.

“Of course. I’ll keep your secret.” You agree in earnest, honest and clear, and this time when you smile at him, your whole body warms at how his eyes fall down to look at it. 

“Good.” His voice goes down a tone, husky and gruff- and making unspeakable things to your already poor state. “Did you enjoy the show?”

Your heart seems to shoot up to your throat, and you try to squeeze words out around it.

“I… uh… yes, I mean, sure. It was… quite incredible.”

“Really.” Hajime smirks and you try to swallow your heart before you choke. 

His green eyes stare deeply at your face, drinking the burning on your cheeks, the quick beat of your pulse on your throat, the pursed, wet lips and the way you tremble when he all but takes a step closer. You brace yourself, eyes lifting from the ground to center on him and the sticky, hot sensation spreads through your lower limbs at the burning heat you find there.

“Well, there’s another one to be done.” That tone comes again and you’re forced to press your legs just a tiny bit closer, suddenly aware of the fact you’re both alone in a dark room. He takes another step closer and your eyes fall on his lips, smirk starting to split his face in two, “Stick around.”

Your mouth opens, but nothing comes out and Hajime’s eyes turn darker. 

"Iwa-channn~'' 

It's so close it sounds loud from across the half-opened door and Iwaizumi seems to fall back on himself, annoyance furrowing his brows. He takes another deep, heated look on you but tears his eyes away before you can’t say anything.

“Sorry, have to go.”

Your breath leaves you in one go. It feels like you just stepped off a rollercoaster, blown off the ground and slow to catch up. 

“Okay, uh, good show?” 

“It will be,” Hajime’s eyes are warm on you. Meaningful. “Watch it all, okay?”

And then he leaves, the brightness from the corridor snapping you from your haze as you suck all the oxygen left in the room and then screams silently against your hands. 

Iwaizumi feels nervous for the first time since the first time he stepped on stage, about two years ago. It feels like he has something to prove and conquer in this single performance and it doesn’t help that Makki comes running late, smelling of sex and sporting marks that tell just of that, too. But for once Hajime decides he has his own stuff to worry rather than the shit his friends pull.

When they step on stage, his eyes zoom-in on you immediately, something spreading on his skin as he finds your attention centered on him - bulging, enthralled eyes and warm appreciation. 

Hajime smirks. They haven’t even started yet.

On cue, Mattsun, Makki, Oikawa and Kyoutani slide on their position and Iwaizumi is delighted that your eyes remain on him. 

When the show starts, among screamings and money being waved, he follows the steps nicely, out of habit. Iwaizumi tilts his hat at you and you burn so bright he feels his skin heating at the newfound power. 

His vest is the first to go off and he makes sure to have his hands running around his chest more than once, teasing slide until the leather chaps as he thrusts his hips, waving motion that covers his whole body. 

He circles, back muscles in the spotlight as his hands come up behind his head, holding the cowboy hat snug in his head, ass tight in the black briefs as he keeps the motions and then turns to fall down on a plank. Iwaizumi grinds down on the floor, blinks and smiles at the ladies but his eyes are only searching for you. 

He gets up with an elaborate move and puts both his hands on the pole, holding himself up sideways before circling it, dropping and incorporating some break dance Kyoutani teached him. 

Hajime’s hand slid easily with the oil on his skin, slowly planting his thumb under the loops of his leather chaps to the sound of screaming. He feels electricity edge through his skin -- someone’s eyes focused solely on him and the thrill of it it’s nothing he’s ever felt before. Suddenly he understands a bit more about how Oikawa feels with Tendou around. 

Iwaizumi thrusts his hips forward once, snaps his belt off in the air with one pull, making the crowd gasp and scream and the itching on his skin turns south. He watches as your eyes follow the hard planes of his abs and the tight squeeze of his thighs on his leather chaps and then snap back into his face. The fact it’s you only makes it all the more exhilarating.

The choreo is once again on the floor, and he drops to it in a wave motion, hips humping on nothing without faltering, tight ass in the air winning cheers and waves; even so, it’s your silent appraisal that rings the louder.

He gets up again, circles the pole in a charming, teasing manner as he holds the metal bar and grinds on it. Iwaizumi lets his hat on the ground and turns his back to the public in time to snap his pants off in one go, at the same time as the other men on stage, staying in nothing but a ridiculously tight, dark, leather brief. 

When he was first presented to the thing, he hated it and opted to go comando into some shows, which earned him some nice money and was always quite the surprise to the patrons. Now, as his eyes lock on yours and your wicked tongue peaks out to lick your plush lips in nothing but appreciation, Iwaizumi is rendered quite fond of the offending thing -- who’d thought this day would come.

Your eyes are glued to him and it almost hurts Iwaizumi that he can’t go straight to you, bring you on stage with him and glide your hands all over his body. He’s unsure of how to proceed but there’s no chance in hell he’s throwing this shot away. 

He’s been crushing on you for far too long to do that. 

In fact, the dumbfounded look on your eyes is quite endearing, much like all the fumbling and tripping over yourself that he got used to expect every time he sees you. Iwaizumi just assumed you were a bit clumsy and quiet, but then he got to know you and it all blew in his face. 

You were a bit of a dumbass but also beautiful, kind, dedicated and attentive. The crush that started as a endearing feeling quickly escalated into opressing and Iwaizumi was all but rendered stupid around you at all times, firm believer that you never truly looked at him like that.

However, as you stare at him unblinking and eager, the picture of hunger in the most delicate predator, Iwaizumi realises he may be wrong and that thought alone is enough to ignite his veins.

 Oikawa fishes a lady, pushes her on Kyoutani then does the same with another for Iwaizumi.

He smiles at her, professional, and brings her hands to his chest, his hips drawing circles against her. As her tentative strokes and fondling turn into frantic holds and clawing nails, his eyes can’t help but slide sideways, taking in the way you’re hanging out of every move of her hands. 

Fuck, Iwaizumi can’t get hard. But there’s a clear throbbing threading south at your concentration. He can’t help but wonder if you’re imagining your hands on his body instead of hers; your hips against his as he grinds on hers; your mouth on his biceps when she kisses his trademarked asset, the ones that gave him his stripper name. 

The woman slides several singles around his briefs, not without copping a few and your mouth falls open in an indignated breath. Iwaizumi tries hard to avoid it going to his dick.

He fishes for another woman in the audience as he lets the groups slide more singles not only on his briefs but inside his boots. Iwaizumi pulls one while she’s sitting in the chair, deposits it on the stage and grinds on her enough that the woman is overheated, hands faltering by her sides. Hajime’s eyes search yours once again, drinking, basking in the envy he pinpoints.

 Does that mean you wish to be under him, like that? To feel his body against yours, his hips between your legs, his lower body shoved on your face? 

Hajime ends his routine with this one halfway, unable to let them feel what you are doing to him and then - finally - he’s free to walk over to your table. Semi-naked, with his boots, hat and slow-rising hard-on.

He’s done this enough times to be able to keep up with the choreo while he’s navigating the tables, hips thrusting and circling, strangers hands sliding on his oiled body to deposit dollars anywhere they can. They’re mostly handsy, few grab his dick and scream, others palm at his thighs and chest. There’s both numbers and dollars being thrown on him but Iwaizumi is used to it - and that’s definitely not his focus tonight.

Iwaizumi stops for a moment at the table before yours. Joining in the fun as Oikawa is happily grinding on his roommate. It gives Hajime a chance to look your way, enough to find you completely enthralled by his body, wide eyes unwavering, mouth open in a breath as your hand fists the flute you’re holding, the perfect depiction of surprise and enchantment and fuck, Iwaizumi is thrilled.

When Hajime finally stops in front of you, you’re looking at him as if under a spell; mouth hanging softly as stars shine in your eyes and he can’t be faulted for fisting your hair, pulling you up to meet his chest, even if he’s careful with where he touches you. 

Iwaizumi pretends his lips gliding against the shell of your ear is not a planned thing.

“You’re looking too hard. Are you enjoying the show that much?”

Your lips move without words falling from it and having you speechless all but set him on fire. Iwaizumi thanks every god (and begrudgingly Oikawa) for his expertise in what he’s about to do. His hand slides on your hips, feeling the way you sway with tremors and stop on your back to support you as he bends you backwards. His mouth skims the skin of your neck and dips lower, so his nose can cross over your cleavage, softly caressing the spanse of your collarbones. 

“If you keep looking at me like that I’ll start thinking things, princess. Interesting things, physical things.” Iwaizumi lets his teeth close on the fabric covering your neckline as his eyes look up on yours to find every hint there can possibly be of your warm desire. “Seems like we’re reaching an agreement, too. Do like what you see, hm? Do you want me to do to you the same things I did with them?” 

“No,” you tell him in a steady tone and Hajime’s eyes shoot up to yours, confused, until you sigh a breath against his face. “I want you to do more.”

He groans, pulling you tighter against his chest for you to feel the effect you have on him, choosing the momentum to circle his hips in what can be disguised as performance despite it being anything but.

“You can’t just tell a guy that. I may believe it.” His hands drop on your ass, gripping as he guides your hips to work with his and you all but melt, blown out eyes falling on his mouth.

“I’m hoping so. I’m pretty much using all my courage to tell you this.” Your breathless chuckle all but obliterates Hajime’s thinking and he has to put some distance between your faces before he takes your lips in a kiss. 

There’s a ringing around his ears and he identifies it as the performance’s end approaching. He has to go back on stage to strip naked and his cock is going to give a show of his own tonight. 

“Go wait for me in the corridor, quick.” It's a plea and a promise as he forces himself to let go of you and turn on his heels to get back on stage.

Oikawa gives him a hand up back onto the stage, eyes all knowing as they survey the whole big thing going on inside his briefs. 

“Nasty, Iwachan~” His smile is a annoying little thing, but then he slaps Iwaizumi’s ass in encouragement, “Sneak off stage before the end, go, quick, I’ll cover.”

Iwaizumi grunts a thanks and as the boys line up one behind the other, he’s able to lock eyes with you and signal with his head before he dips through the backstage drapes.

You’re not sure what’s the plan when Hajime disappears through the back and your spine immediately shoots up, leaving your friends with a half-assed excuse as your legs carry you towards the corridor that leads to the backstage once you choose neither left or right, but only forward. Your eyes are focused, body overheating as your heart gallops in your chest, clinging to the words Iwaizumi whispered in your ears during his show as it repays again and again over your mind’s eye. 

The door to the backstage is signaled with nothing, the only hint of its location being the in and out of men from it as their shows end and they leave the place to either mingle along the audience or enter a private room for privé little shows. Honestly, if it was for Hajime, you’d blow a hole in your wallet for every single second of his time. 

However, as you’re closing in on the hidden door you start growing strikingly aware of the fact you have no idea how to actually meet him there and having to knock on it makes you feel both silly and self conscious.

Luckly, you don’t have to do anything.

Iwaizumi burst the door open in time to fetch you and drag you inside as you let out a little yelp, and suddenly you’re surrounded by the smell of weed, cigars and sweat along with men; Iwaizumi’s hot, sweety skin is sticky against yours and you have the fleeting thought that maybe that would be off putting to you if you didn't have the all consuming need to drop to your knees and lick it all from his fucking skin.

“Iwa,” leaves you lips for no reason, just for the fact it’s his name and you let your neck fall back against his shoulder, turning your head to finally taste his skin. Iwaizumi’s arms tighten around you in such a way you feel the rumble of his growl and he all but tow you deeper inside.

 You can barely get a look around the dimly lit, dirty backstage room before you’re past the messy lounge and into a tight corridor that ends a small, locker-room styled bathroom where Hajime quickly dips inside. 

You get one look at the metal lockers on the side, the two sinks with mirrors upfront and the four bathroom stalls on the left, two on each side before you focus back on Iwaizumi’s jawline, nibbling on whatever you can find and relishing on every little noise that tumbles from his lips. 

Hajime’s arms leave you for one moment, depositing you on unsteady legs so he can turn the lock on the door and by then his hand is burying itself in your hair and closing at your hip, forcefully pulling you to him as his mouth closes around your neck and he proceeds to kiss, bite and suck at every spanse of your skin. 

“Fuck, I didn’t want to do this here,” Iwaizumi starts with a gruff voice that makes your center weep, the force of his hands around you enough to render your feet useless as he strides over to the sink, imediatelly hiking you over it with his big hands over your ass and a hard bite at your shoulder as if he’s pinging you as the culprit of his angish. “But I can’t fucking wait anymore.”

He sounds so pained, so raw, that you can’t help but groan, mouth searching his quickly as your hands reach for his hair and shoulder, nails digging on whatever you find to secure your hold on his slippery skin. He tastes of whisky and weed, but it’s the fact that it’s Hajime that renders you intoxicated.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he admits as his teeth nibble on your bottom lip, a trail of kisses making their way down so he can bite at your neck, licking  it over just so he can suck on it, your eyes rolling back inside your head as your body all but trembles. “I was sure you weren’t interested, fuck.” 

That is probably the one thing that could pull you from the haze settling in your brain caused by the fucking thrill that having Hajime kissing and holding you is enough to cause. 

“Are you insane?” You whine back at him, tilting your head away from his mouth as your fingers pull at his hair to look him in the eyes. Those beautiful, heated and earnest florest-green eyes that have been your demise since day one. “Iwa, there hasn't been a day I wasn’t interested.” 

There’s an edge of surprise on his face, along with a hint of something soft you can’t name and you all but moan at him, unable to form words of just how much you’ve wanted him and for how long. So you choose to show him, instead, legs circling his frame as you press your chest against his and hold his neck with both hands to pull him in a kiss that leaves you lightheaded, toes curling on your heels and heat burning through your veins, melting your insides until it spills on your underwear.

A rumble in his chest tells you about the groan he keeps inside and Iwaizumi’s hands take hold of the flesh of your ass and thighs with bruising strength, violent heartbeats making both of your bodies tremble with need. But then he angles himself back, breaks the kiss and curses after one look at your face.

Next thing you know Iwaizumi’s down on his knees between your thighs, holding you open with big hands under your knees and your brain just ups and fries. Your panties are sticking to your drenched folds and there’s no way the flimsy triangle is able to do much to hide you from Hajime’s attentive eyes. He groans, fingers dipping under the sides of your underwear and he pulls it to the side, baring you the best he can.

He doesn’t really say anything past throwing you a burning look, kissing up the inner part of your thighs, and then he’s mouth is on you - tongue lavishing at both sex and fabric, circling your clit with wondrous expertise and licking along your inner lips like they’re about to spill all your secrets.

“Fuck,” slips from you as your head arches back, hitting the wall. “Iwaizumi...” 

Whispered from you that way, his name is the only thing that conveys all of the feelings bubbling on your chest: the glee of the mutual crush, the excitement of being this close, the massive bliss igniting your nerves at his ministrations. If the way Hajime doubles down on his efforts between your legs is any indication - tongue slipping up and down then back up to circle your clit mercilessly - you’d say he agrees.

You feel suspended in time, tense as a tight coil that’ll tear with a single harsh pull. His tongue dances around your cunt as much as he did on stage: perfectly. Deliriously bringing you to a high you’ve aren’t sure you’ve ever tasted. And then he brings his fingers to calmly, slowly massage around your entrance. 

“Oh fucking christ!” Your burning moan bounces around the empty space loudly and you swear you feel him snickering against your cunt, only you’re way far gone to care. “Haji-fuck!” 

Your hand slides over his hair, fingers delighted at how soft they feel and you use your palm to press his face further against your folds. Your hips humping anything they can because staying still feels like an impossible task with the way your blood is boiling inside your veins. 

But then someone is pounding at the door loudly and your eyes snap open as your high slips from you, Iwaizumi’s lips abandoning your sex to throw a nasty glare at the door. 

“C’mon Iwa-chan~” someone calls outside, sounding unbelievably pleased at the interruption. “You know the rules! We need to use the bathroom~” 

“Two minutes!” Iwa snarl back and as the pounding on the door doesn’t come back, you think he got himself a deal. “Fucking assholes. Can’t give me one fucking moment when they’re the ones always doing this shit.”

He sounds so pissed it’s actually awfully endearing. Red in the face with swollen lips glistening in a pout, and despite the throbbing on your cunt, you can’t help but laugh. His eyes come back to you and a renewed wave of pleasure curls on your pussy by the clear shift into softness you find there, so you pull him back up standing and make a point of kissing him so hard you’re licking your juices from his chin. 

Two minutes apparently go by awfully fast, as the door is nudged once again. Softly, this time. 

“Fuckers,” Iwa mutters after he breaks the kiss, eyes as daggers aimed at whoever is outside the door. “Give me ten minutes and meet me outside?” You realize by the tone of his voice that Iwaizumi is nervous and your heart does a sickening loop inside your chest as if you needed a heads up of how much you’re gone for him. Your face must do something weird, as his eyes scrunch up and his hands grip on your hips with a tiny bit of strength, pleading. “I just need to change and get my stuff, I’ll be real quick, promise.” 

Jesus Christ, didn’t he get it yet?

“Iwaizumi,” His name sounds gruff past your breathless throat and you see the way his eyes turn steely, bracing for heartbreak. “You could tell me to wait forever, and I’d be dying outside waiting for you.”

You make a point of holding his eyes because it feels like it’s important and you’re thankful for that as you can watch the exact moment Iwaizumi lets a long breath out, eyes warming as his lips descend upon yours - one time, then once again; his fingers drawing soft little patterns over your skin.

“I’ll be outside,” you tell him before someone disturbs the moment between you two and he helps you down the sink, your panties choosing this moment to slide to the floor, showing the fact that all that pulling ended up causing a rip. You choke up a gasp and Iwa chuckles, hand sliding to your bare ass to pat at the plush flesh.

“Well, one less thing in the way.”

Getting out of the bathroom and outside the backroom ends up being the most embarrassing thing about it all, as you’re forced to pass through a horde of almost-naked men that throw you all-knowing grins. The pretty man that welcomed you into the Club is the one with the wickedest grin and you can see by Iwaizumi’s grimace alone that he’s in for a hell of teasing. 

If the hand gripping your hip is anything to go by, you’d doubt he’s paying it half a mind. He leaves you at the door, tells the ones around there to shut it as they watch, and breathlessly promises you he’ll come in a bit before closing the door.

Even so you can still hear the immediate hollering going on inside and you chuckle for a moment, until you try to take a step and your legs betray you, shaken. There’s a smile etched to your face that you can barely contain until you’re painfully remembered of the fact you’re dripping between your thighs. That’s all you need for your heart to beat on your face, burning so bright you’re surprised you haven’t melted to the floor.

You’re breathless and antsy as you wait for Iwaizumi to come back, the club visibly emptier after the final performance. Your friends have left already, only waiting around until you came to pick up your purse, all of them tired and drunk and leaving in group after calling enough ubers and making sure you were fine. 

And not without teasing, of course.

God, you were more than fine. But you’re throbbing, uncomfortable wet and empty, increasingly aware of the fact you’re standing there pantiless as the horny fog dissipates a bit in the absence of one Iwaizumi Hajime to end your logic thinking.

You get antsy of waiting around in the bar despite the bartender trying to make nice small-talk and instead trudges over to the corridor, standing there awkwardly fidgeting as if he’s taking hours and not literally a few minutes.

The door opens with an urge and Hajime’s eyes zoom in on you, long strides that only serve to make your body once again acutely aware of it’s poor state, arousal spiking to the point where you press your legs together to help with the feeling. 

But then he’s reaching for you before he’s even really close, and you’re quickly running to him and latching your lips together with urgency. Now that you can kiss him it feels like there’s no point in any other greeting that doesn’t involve his mouth on yours. 

His hair is dripping wet with a recent, clearly quick shower and he’s wearing the same clothes you’re used to see him with day by day and, somehow, that just makes it all worse, a literal groan passing your lips as you reach once again for his lips but this time Iwaizumi stops you with a groan, turning you in his arms so both of you can eagerly trudge out of the Club.

Hajime tries to be mindful of you as he shortens his long strides to be able to accompany yours. You’re balancing yourself to run on heels, laugh bubbling out of your chest at the exhilarating feeling of glee of a mutual crush. Iwaizumi throws you one amused look, sharp smile turning teasing as his hands come to circle your waist, hoist you up and hurry the remaining distance to his car.

“Too slow!” Iwaizumi teases with a grunt and chuckles against your neck, big toothy smile against your skin. “Hurry up!”

“Someone’s eager,” you tease but he’s already rounding his car, pressing you on the side to attach his lips to your neck, soft bites and circling hips that show you just how much that sentence is true.

One of his hands surrounds your neck and his thumb tilts your head up enough for his lips to capture yours, a soft kiss contrasting with the need in his grasp on your hips. 

“I think we’ve waited too long.” 

“Yeah? Who’s fault is that, dumbass?” You nibble on his lips and grind your hips on the impressive burning length that presses on your belly. Iwaizumi chuckles, biting on your neck as his hand slides past your hip to close on your ass. 

“Yours.” 

Your outraged gasp is lost on his lips, passionate kiss blowing your rational thinking with a nuke. Would you ever recover from Iwaizumi Hajime? God, you don’t think so. 

You pull him closer, pressing your chest against him, pressure building once again as your nipples stand to attention. Your leg rakes up on his side as if you’re not on the middle of the street and Iwaizumi lets his hand slide to the underside of your thigh; fingers dipping lower, digits gliding over your drenched slit once before he dips them carefully past the tight ring of your entrance. It’s barely anything, but your mind short-circuits, head falling back against the car.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” Iwaizumi sounds anguished, teeth punishing his lips as his eyes bore on yours. His fingers slide deeper inside you and your mouth opens in a silent moan. “I can’t wait to be inside this pussy.”

That ends you, pussy clenching so hard around his barely there fingers it’s painful to feel the remaining emptiness. You puff a hot breath of air on his face, eyes dazed and blood boiling as you tense and throb. 

“Iwa,” Your nails press on his skin so hard your own hand hurts, “if you keep doing this we’ll be doing it in the street.”

Something burns in him, as he presses his fingers deeper inside you to watch your eyes fall close and then pulls them all out, quickly opening the door.  

“Get in.”

You obey, having half a mind to wonder if it’s really happening until he’s closing the door and circling the vehicle. “Iwa!” You plead, as somehow it feels like abandonment, your whole being hurting and boiling, a whine in your lips as Hajime slides in the driver's seat and turns the car on, driving it out the curb and down the street as a madman.

“We’re doing this right,” Hajime tells you as he drives, drinking your panting form from the corner of his eyes. His jeans are tight, hint of what awaits you forming a very clear pattern and you feel overheated, frenzied, throbbing with need. So as it turns out, you’re far past the point to care. 

You adjust yourself in the seat, legs spreading to allow your hand to reach the appex of your sex as the other closes on a clothed breast. “Iwa,” you sigh in bliss as the pressure finally seems to give in just that one tiny bit. His eyes shoot to you and fall comically large at the view, turning hazed in sequence as his cheeks color red.

“God, baby, don’t do this to me,” Iwaizumi grunts, hand adjusting his cock through the jeans as his eyes try to flit between you and the fairly empty streets. 

“I’m not doing anything to you though, I’m doing it to me.” You moan and the car loses balance for a second, sliding to the side and back as you laugh. 

“You’re a fucking menace.”

“Try not to kill us, Iwa.” Is all you answer, moan slipping out at the way you let your fingers alleviate the pressure at your clenching center. Iwaizumi looks as if he’s in pain. One of his hands shoots down to hold on your left thigh, bruising strength delicious.

“You wanna play dirty, huh? That’s what you want?” The tinge of aggression in his voice makes your pussy throb around your fingers and for a moment it feels like he knows. “I can play dirty, baby. I can either make you cum like a good girl or let you hang the whole night like a brat, so what do you want?”

Your voice is nowhere to be found and your eyes are locked on Hajime as if he’s the one who hung the moon and stars. He even has the gal to smirk.

“I can be so good, baby, but I’m even better at being bad.”

You skyrocket shamelessly into a little bout of pleasure, a short-lived thing resembling a climax that’s caused by the whiplash of Hajime’s dominance and the pressure bursting inside you as you abuse your own fingers' expertise. 

You tremble on his side, head thrown back with a moan of his name and Hajime curses loudly, hand at your thigh awkwardly reaching your slit to slide over it and push two fingers inside, catching the last of your short-lived climax. His face turns solemn, eyes darkening with hunger as a vein rises in his jaw and a renewed wave of wetness stains his digits.

Those forest-green eyes settle on you as he speeds down the empty street. “I’m going to end you,” Iwaizumi presses deeper and you arch your body, legs falling wider for him as fingers you effortlessly, driving and stretching you on thick digits that make you gasp on your own breath. 

“This is how it’s going to be.” Hajime starts, voice rough and hot. “Once we’re out of this car and private enough, I’m burying myself inside this pretty pussy in one go.” Your whole breath leaves you in one quick breath, eyes falling open as Hajime’s thumb rounds your clit and a third finger starts pushing inside your walls, burning stretch making you delirious as his words take you apart, one by one. 

“Then, I’m fucking you the whole night until you cant even think about a time where I wasn't inside you,” his fingers curve inside your walls, calling motion and upwards thrust that makes your pleasure sparks through your whole body, one hand closing around his wrist as the other locks on a breast. “Until you feel empty without me inside.”

He pulls his hand back as you all but sob, eyes literally welling with tears at the loss of your quickly rising bliss but one look at Hajime has you sobering up, his focused eyes on the street as he hurries down the rest of the way. 

As it ends up, Iwaizumi stays true to his words. 

He presses you up against the door of his apartment while you two are still on the corridor, brings his hands to your thighs and hikes you up against the door, your dress sliding way past your ass as your bare, throbbing pussy glides over his clothed length. Your whole skin feels like a live-wire, hypersensitive and vibrating.

Hajime’s mouth is closed in a bite on your shoulder as he uses his abilities to open his door without interfering with the sinful way you roll your center against his big cock, needy and lost, pleading for him to just fuck you. 

When it clicks open, both his hands fly to your ass as he pushes past the door and close it with a bang as he presses you against it. His mouth is back on yours, tongue invading your lips with a groan and hand flying to tear his jeans open and down just enough for his big, hard cock spring free.

"Yes!" You break the kiss to cry at the first touch of his weeping, hot cock against your cunt, the sheer amount of wetness making it slide from your hole to your clit and then down again. 

Hajime sucks a breath to still himself, slowly angles his hips back and let the thick head slide to  your entrance with perfect precision, slamming himself half the way inside with one powerful thrust that have his head falling on your shoulder with a blissful groan, your cries of agreement thrown around the air above as you angle your head back.   

Your walls fall open for him brutally, soaking wet and ready but still struggling against the stretch. It burns, his fat cock pulsing inside you and as you clench around his girth you realize he's not even all the way inside. 

"Oh my god," you breathe out and Iwa sighs, fist slamming on the side of the door as he braces himself and rolls his hips, pushing steadily, sheathing his cock inside you slowly. You choke on a breath, suddenly silent, legs kicking out without your brain to rein on it.

"Jesus," Iwa grunts as he bottoms out, his legs trembling from the effort of holding himself back, mind stumbling as every single cell in his body seems overwhelmed by the feeling of reaching paradise. “You feel like heaven.”

Hajime tells you mostly because he wants to feel you clench around him and you do, his heart soaring with the delicious high of knowing exactly what makes you tick; but the throbbing of his cock reminds him just how long he’s been forgotten and Iwaizumi adjusts his stance, locks his arms around you and simply mutters, “Now, to fucking you the whole night.”

You skyrocket quicker than ever, few presses and pulls igniting a supernova bliss in your veins, tongue useless as it feels alien in your mouth, brain short-circuiting at his thrusts. You’ve never felt like this and you’re pretty sure you’ll never would, not without Hajime.

You’re so lost you don’t even realize he moves you from the door to the wall, Hajime’s hands grabbing a handful of your hair to pull you to a blistering kiss, the trimmed hair at the base of his cock doing wonders against your clit every time he bottoms out, nestled inside a place you never even felt before. 

You’re so oversensitive, wound up and tense as your pussy holds him as a vice, grunts falling from his lips that make you skin all but burn at the delicious praise. 

As you squeeze “Hajime” past your mouth in a painful breath, frenzied eyes searching for his,  he soothes you with kisses all over your face. 

“Go ahead, baby.” He tells you with his lips against your skin, “I got you.”

You explode. 

There’s no other way to explain the way your pleasure blows you over, sharpshooter through your veins and short-circuits your brain. It feels like being caught in an ocean wave, unable to swim as it carries you underwater and the tides hold you down, unending twirls that assault you through every side until you’re finally reaching shore, rising above to suck a deep breath.

Hajime is peppering your face with kisses as you settle back inside your skin, blinking hazy eyes to his perfect face with a ridiculous smile that must show just how fucking much you’re smitten. But there’s an edge of something painful on his face.

“Wow.” You breathe and his cock responds inside you with a nod of agreement.

Hajime chuckles, plants a big kiss on your wet lips and tries to smile despite the strain on his face as he calls your name. “I’m going to fuck you now.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” you smile dumbly at him, loose and fuzzy around the edges. “Go ahead. Not sure I’ll be of much use, I think I just had a outer body experience.”

“Hmmm,”  Hajime smirks, tight around the edges with his throbbing cock buried in your pulsing heat. as he seems pensive  “No can’t do, baby.”  He rolls his hips for a moment, lecherous noise echoing around the silent flat, then decides to bring you across the short distance to his couch, letting his ass fall on it graceless, cock pressing deeper with the movement. He drinks the little gasp straight from your lips. 

“I think I’ve earned my turn to sit back and relax.” Hajime smiles, predatory, hungry and you decide you just may love him like this. “So why don’t you do us both a favor and ride it?”

-

[queerjatp]

more jatp headcanons but it’s just friendship/relationship dynamics (im tryna go through as many as possible that weren’t in the previous headcanon post and it’s only going to be duos because any more might make my brain hurt)

-alex and luke are peak friends to lovers to exes to friends. they knew each other insanely well from dating and use that to strengthen their friendship. there’s no animosity between them because both of them know for a fact that they’re better off as friends. they can pretty much have a whole conversation without saying a word.

-reggie and alex are best friends for sure. they have every single detail about the other memorized. like reggie could tell you alex’s most embarrassing moment in middle school and alex could tell you reggie’s favorite country songs in alphabetical order. reggie can clock the exact moment when alex is starting to be anxious about something and alex knows exactly what to do when reggie is dealing with his ptsd. plus alex is the only person allowed to call him reginald and reggie is the only person allowed to call alex, alexander.

-more reggie and alex bc i said so. y’all know for a FACT that after the finger kiss luke did to reggie the first time reggie and alex were alone alex looked at reggie and said “was that your official entrance to the holy shit luke is so hot and i hate him club?” and reggie just nodded and started rambling about that moment for 20 minutes (julie also frequently comes to the holy shit luke is so hot and i hate him club meetings)

-luke and reggie are the dumbass duo supreme. they’re both so smart but somehow manage to feed off each other’s inability to see common sense. but they can and will protect one another to the death (or ya know crossover). luke usually asks reggie to help while he’s drafting a song before luke takes it over to julie

-luke and julie created soulmates (along with willex) just the classic badass independent gf and her boyfriend who is literally in awe of everything she does. v soft always. songwriting powerhouses. julie loves listening to luke rant about greek classics and luke loves listening to julie rant about music theory and different styles of art. can and will kick your ass singing a whole new world for karaoke.

-julie and reggie are peak sibling energy. reggie always helps julie out with school work and they spend a lot of time enjoying each other’s company. so many inside jokes. they’ll spend time playing the piano together and reggie spends a lot of time teaching julie bass (which luke loves). one time reggie came to julie and asked her in spanish if he could borrow one of her skirts to wear and julie was like hold tight i gotchu and she grabbed them a black tennis skirt and a black leather skirt for him to keep

-continuing on with reggie in a skirt. reggie was shy about it but wanted to show the boys so julie dragged alex and luke into the studio and told them to sit tight until reggie came out in their black tank top, red flannel and black tennis skirt and alex and luke were stunned and both had a moment where they were like holy shit reggie looks so hot. by the end of the day all of the friends had seen reggie in a skirt so they had to start a new club. the “holy shit reggie looks so hot in a skirt and he has no idea” club

-alex and julie are besties. full stop. they pretty much always know what the other is thinking and it’s usually “reggie and luke are dumbasses but we love them” and they also get together to walk about how hot their boyfriends are

-alex and julie but a very specific instance. alex was terrified about julie finding out that him and luke dated and this was how it happened. the whole gang was hanging out in the studio. alex and willie were talking amongst themselves, luke and julie were song writing and the others were talking about how flynn was learning to play trumpet. “ok ok truth or dare” willie asked alex. “truth” “how many boyfriends have you had before me” alex sucked in a breath and stared at willie for a moment before responding. “one” willie smirked. “who was it?” “i am not answering that oh my gosh” willie just smirked again and called over to luke. “hey luke! who was alex’s first boyfriend?” luke didn’t even look up for the song he was working on. “me. why?” alex choked. both julie and willie said “i knew it!” after alex and julie talked, he knew he really had nothing to worry about.

-alex and willie also invented soulmates. you will never find a softer, sweeter pair of partners. always teasing each other. certified hot couple of the friend group (everyone voted and of course they would win look at them! plus willie so that’s an automatic win). willie loves making alex blue screen but the few times alex has made willie blue screen (it was the best moments of his afterlife) soft kisses on cheeks and pulse points and knuckles. always balancing each other out. alex can and will kick someone’s ass if they hurt willie. willie can and will prank someone until they leave alex alone. the whole friend group knows the loft is willex’s spot. they usually go up their if one of them isn’t doing well.

-flynn and carrie are sassy wlw. flynn is fiery and carrie is icy so they balance each other out. they absolutely always know everything that’s going on. flynn’s love language is words of affirmation and carrie’s is acts of service. flynn is the only person that will make carrie soft. luke made the mistake of making fun of carrie being a simp for flynn and carrie spent 15 minutes roasting the absolute shit out of him. (alex recorded the whole thing)

[sullyinthestars]

Inazuma Gang Ship Headcanons:

(I literally ship many of these character in polyamorous relationships so be prepared for literally all of them.)

Characters in this post: Sangonomiya Kokomi, Kujou Sara, Kamisato Ayaka, Aratakki Itto, Tohma, Gorou, Kaedahara Kazuha, Yoimiya

Kokomi x Sara

Definite enemies to lovers possibilities

I imagine Kokomi being wickedly smart and Sara being like “oh shit that’s hot”

They totally trade clothes

They’re both good stress relief for the other after all of their important duties

Sara braiding and playing with Kokomi’s hair

Kokomi x Gorou

Them being so protective over one another

Best Friends to Lovers

Gorou and Kokomi going adventuring together when they get the day off

Gorou reading Kokomi the letters he gets sent as Ms. Hina

Kokomi playing with Gorou’s ears

Lots of no PDA rules, but they’re very clingy behind closed doors.

Kokomi x Itto

Literally the smart nerdy girl and dumb jock duo I didn’t know I needed.

Kokomi being a badass and Itto being like “THATS MY GIRLFRIEND!”

Kokomi healing Itto’s injuries from fights

Itto distracting Kokomi from her responsibilities when they get to be too much.

Itto sneaking Kokomi out

Kokomi pulling strings when Itto gets into trouble

Itto loves PDA and Kokomi loves him enough to put up with it.

Itto x Gorou

Rivals/Strangers to Close Friends to Lovers

Bonding over being different as hybrids.

Itto loves Gorous cooking

Itto falling asleep in Gorous lap, and Gorou wrapping his tail around him.

Itto showing Gorou around, introducing him to places he hadn’t seen because of him being busy with his duties.

Itto’s grandma making cake for Gorou

Itto still sending letters to Ms. Hina even after he figures out that Gorou is her because his lover finds them funny

Itto doing little things for Gorou that he knows he’ll appreciate

Itto x Sara

Literally them just being childhood friends and going there separate ways

And then Itto somehow ending up in trouble

And Sara being like “fucking hell, get your hands off of him”

Itto not wanting to hurt her or cause issues for her

Sara just wanting somebody to be close too

Sara becoming really defensive when anybody but her insults him

Itto literally glaring at anybody who looks at her the wrong way

Kazuha x Gorou

Friends to Strangers to Lovers

Dynamic duo

Gorou being what Kazuha comes back to whenever he’s lost

Kazuha willing to lay down his life for Gorou

The two of them understanding eachother so well that everything else just makes sense.

Them both helping with the grief the other experienced during the war in Inazuma

Yoimiya x Itto

Loud dumbasses who match each other’s energy

Definitely really fun

So few ideas because they could literally do anything and everything and it makes so much sense

Ayaka x Yoimiya

They’re everything

Princess and the Pauper except they’re lesbians

Yoimiya wanting to not only be Ayaka’s friend but willing to do anything for her

Ayaka not wanting to lose Yoimiya as a friend

Yoimiya dragging Ayaka out to see her new fireworks if she can’t make it to a festival

Yoimiya making a firework in the Kamisato house colors and one that looks like Ayaka’s snowflake

Ayaka braiding flowers into Yoimiya’s hair

Tohma x Ayaka

Ayaka and Tohma both needing breaks from work

Tohma doing all sorts of extra things for Ayaka to help her

Ayaka soothing Tohma’s sunburn when he forgets to use sunscreen and is outdoors too long

Tohma using light heat to soothe Ayaka’s muscles after she gets tense during political meetings

Them sneaking out at night.

Tohma x Itto

Itto being the one to show Tohma around after he discovers him in Ritou

The two of them loving the city, and messing around all the time together.

Itto noting how Tohma likes animals and helping him find the strays and take care of them

Itto getting Tohma craft supplies for things like the sweaters and things he knits as well as things Tohma just wants to try

Tohma checking up on Itto’s grandma if Itto ever asks him too or has to leave town or gets into trouble

That’s all for now folks, I was going to do all the polyamorous options but that’s just mix and matching the monogamous ones with each other. So enjoy.

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

DUMBASS DUO SHOWDOWN ROUND 1 BATTLE 4

burton guster & shawn spencer (PSYCH) vs Rosencrantz & Guildenstern (Hamlet + Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are dead)

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT

Gus & Shawn

They’ve been friends canonically since at least 3 years old and at the start of the show they’re I wanna say 30 maybe? And yet these two grown men are THE most chaotic idiots (affectionate) in the whole show (and let’s be real anywhere). The entire show in fact hinges on the idea that they’re dumbasses and WILL get into carat shenanigans. Episode examples include the one where they are investigating an alien abduction, the one where they’re looking for big foot, the vampire one, all of these by the way they hundred percent believe to be true until they themselves unwillingly prove otherwise. And maybe the most dumbass moment of all time, when Gus finds his boss dead and instead of calling the cops he gets his dna ALL OVER THE CRIME SCENE, calls Shane to help clean up and Shawn gets HIS DNA ALL OVER THE CRIME SCENE AS WELL!!!! Truly cannot think of a worse reaction to finding a dead body. They’ve been sucking that single brain cell that exists between them dry for over 3 decades now and they show no signs of stopping.

they are such idiots (affectionate) and they can't live without each other

they are. so stupid. both of them can be smart in their own ways but when you put them together the dumb best friends energy is unmatched. they are platonic soulmates pretending that shawn has psychic powers and solve crimes by dicking around and somehow always coming out alive. they accidentally befriend the criminals they’re supposed to be investigating constantly. they’re always one step away from being fired or arrested bc of their dumbassery

the entire show is literally shawn pretending to be a psychic (← dumbass behavior) and gus aiding and abetting him and actively a dumbass as well

If you have seen even a single episode of this show, you know these two fools are the best duo ever. Constantly bantering theough 80s movie references and animal like noises, most often above a dead body, these two bring unique different dummy energy that both brings each other up and builds up their own skills along the way. I will love these two men until the day I die and they deserve an honest chance to be the best dumbass duo of all time!

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern

They have no clue what’s going on and keep trying to figure it out but they keep missing the clues. Rosencrantz keeps echoing Guildenstern (He’s only good in support). They completely miss that they are characters in a tragedy and doomed by the narrative

The OG dumbass duo. Like....these two share one braincel and usually Guildenstern holds it but that makes them none the cleverer.

they literally had a second play written by another person that expanded upon their dumbassery

so like first of all they are one unit. second of all they have silly recorder-related shenaningans. third of all they're doomed by the narrative but they're silly enough to make being doomed by the narrative fun and entertaining

[skaterbeth]

the seven + others playing among us

because i fucking love this game 

annabeth 

so good. like. too fucking good 

prefers the imposter role because she is amazing at sabotaging and killing without getting seen 

a master at travelling the vents unnoticed 

very good at making sure she doesn’t form a pattern in who she kills 

only self reports when she knows she won’t be suspicious 

changes her behavior in real life to be less suspicious in game 

percy always gets so offended when she kills him out of convenience 

(“i can’t believe you killed me!” “you were literally in a room alone doing your task it was too easy”) 

memorized every task so she always has an alibi 

when she’s a crewmate she just finishes her tasks and always saves the crew when they imposter sabotages the reactor or something 

is always able to figure out who the imposter because she memorized everyone’s tells like the little shit she is (and percy can’t even lie to her anymore like he’s the worst liar)

wears white 

percy 

is kinda good at being the imposter but definitely kills certain people on purpose 

those people: jason (duh, he liked to piss him off), piper (cause he thinks it’s funny when she’s mad), reyna (bc he considers that a fucking accomplishment he would totally go around camp jupiter telling everyone he killed the praetor), and leo (no explanation needed) 

refuses to kill: annabeth (bc he’s a simp), hazel (bc he loves her too much), grover (🐐) 

people he’s indifferent to killing: frank and nico (but he still feels kinda bad bc my boy is too sweet) 

when he’s the imposter he’s so bad at defending himself 

and annabeth can read him super easily 

so when she accuses him he’s just like “yeah just vote me out lolz” 

when he’s a crewmate he kinda just does his tasks idk 

but he never saves the crew when their being sabotaged cause he doesn’t like that pressure 

always reports the body and immediately goes on the chat like “guys who killed my girlfriend 😡” 

always blames it on jason cause he likes seeing him get mad 

and when it’s not jason percy’s like 🤷🏾

wears blue 

leo 

he’s the most chaotic to play with adskjskdjk 

like 

he’s such a good imposter but he also accidentally brags when he kills someone 

“so who do you guy think it is?” “idk but whoever it was is a really good imposter” “... ok so it’s leo” 

even if he’s not the imposter people vote him out when he’s being annoying 

loves sabotaging 

always kills frank first cause he thinks it’s hilarious 

next would be annabeth because she’s super smart

but everyone tries to kill annabeth first 

doesn’t kill hazel because he thinks she’s too pure 

also doesn’t kill nico

very good crewmate 

always finishes his tasks first 

and when he’s done he just follows people around to freak them out and make them think he’s the imposter 

wears orange 

piper 

also chaotic 

always kills annabeth first but like makes it a point to do it so everyone always knows it’s her 

in the off chance she doesn’t kill annabeth first she always tries to pin it on her 

has definitely accidentally revealed herself as the imposter multiple times 

definitely charmspeaks people into thinking it’s not her 

and it actually works a fair amount of times 

if someone kills her she gets so annoyed it’s so funny 

cusses so much 

like 

they have to kick her out bEcAuSe hAzEl 

but hazel thinks it’s hilarious 

decent crewmate but she definitely prefers imposter 

wears red 

frank 

hates this game 

like 

cannot stand it 

but he doesn’t want to be left out so he plays it 

he hates being the imposter so much 

he doesn’t like to kill people so he just sabotages 

but he’s not very good at that either 

if he ever does kill he always accidentally does it in front of someone or he gets caught immediately 

when someone accuses him it’s super obvious when he’s lying 

but he’s a very good crewmate 

always does his tasks and helps save the crew when things get sabotaged 

will literally watch the imposter kill someone and when he reports it he accidentally says the wrong color 

(this makes it seem like i hate frank i really don’t this is literally just how i play) 

wears brown 

jason 

he’s literally dead he can’t play 

kidding kidding 

definitely still hasn’t figured out the map 

easiest to kill because he just wanders around aimlessly til he finds a task he was assigned 

is so bad at the admin card swipe he gets kicked out (which has actually happened to my brother) 

every time he gets killed the chat fills up with “was it a brick” or just 🧱

leo and annabeth make an animation of jason’s color getting hit on the head with a brick by reyna’s color 

never saves the crew when they’re sabotaged because he can’t get there fast enough and he doesn’t have the ability to do it fast enough anyway 

he’s like an ok imposter? 

idk like there’s not much to say for jason 

wears purple (because camp jupiter. yes he’s that boring) 

hazel 

y’all 

hazel is 

a fucking RUTHLESS imposter 

and no one ever thinks it’s her 

and she loves it 

being the imposter is definitely her preferred role 

always kills leo first 

never kills jason cause she thinks it’s funny to watch him try to play 

but she rarely sabotages 

she just kills 

if she does sabotage it’s the lights 

because she’s smart

self reports all the time and tries to act traumatized by discovering a dead body so no one suspects her 

she’ll always tell nico when she’s the imposter so they’ll pair up but he’ll always vouch and say it wasn’t her 

she always wins as imposter 

and when it’s revealed it’s her everyone is liked 😧

good crewmate 

gets her tasks done and saves the crew when they’re sabotaged 

wears purple (but bc she likes the color not cause of camp jupiter) 

nico 

pretends to hate this game but secretly loves it 

doesn’t really care about being imposter or a crewmate he just likes to watch how everyone else plays/interacts 

if he is the imposter he’ll never kill hazel 

who he kills (in order): leo (just cause he’s annoying), jason, annabeth, reyna, percy, piper, frank, grover, (never hazel) 

definitely makes random accusation because it’s funny 

he’ll never say it but if annabeth kills him he doesn’t care and roots for her to win bc he loves annabeth 

finds percy and annabeth’s banter super entertaining 

if he’s not the imposter he definitely follows people around and freaks them out for fun (specifically jason, leo, frank) 

good crewmate and always saves everyone’s asses 

will call the emergency meeting to say he watched leo kill someone (which he didn’t) or just to be like “yo im hungry y’all want mcdonalds after this?” (they can’t even be mad and everyone definitely gets mcdonalds after) 

wears black duh 

reyna 

mix of annabeth and hazel 

super good at the game and definitely enjoys the killing 

main difference between her and annabeth is that annabeth is more strategic whereas reyna just kills whenever she feels like it 

that being said 

she does kill jason first 

then percy 

definitely hesitates on killing annabeth because she likes her enjoys watching her try to figure out who it is 

annabeth and reyna have an unspoken agreement that when reyna’s the imposter annabeth won’t say anything as long as reyna doesn’t kill her 

i just love reynabeth ok 

master at traveling the vents 

if she’s a crewmate she follows around grover, frank, leo, and jason for fun 

because she finishes tasks fast obviously 

saves everyone’s asses when they get sabotaged 

will randomly accuse leo when she has no idea who it is in the first round 

(the girls all go along with it) 

originally wears blue but she doesn’t wanna match with percy so she switches to white to match with annababe ❤️

grover 

is so bad at the imposter it’s so funny 

but him and percy always partner up and vouch for each other 

but if percy’s the imposter and grover knows he’s very bad at keeping it a secret 

and annabeth knows those two the best out of anyone so she always figures it out 

sometimes she won’t say anything though because those two are dumbasses but they’re HER dumbasses 

he’s so sweet and doesn’t like to kill 

would rather sabotage 

he’ll definitely lock the doors on people cause it’s funny 

good crewmate 

knows the map really well 

never does the tasks to save the crew when their sabotaged cause it stresses him out 

idk what else to say for him lmao 

wears dark green 

when there’s two imposters 

best most dangerous duo: annabeth and reyna 

deadliest duo: hazel and reyna 

most chaotic duo: leo and piper 

boring but funny duo: jason and frank 

chaotic but cute and funny duo: grover and percy 

funniest duo: percy and annabeth (because their banter on the side and the fact that percy gets distracted by how cool his gf is) 

duo that bickers so nothing gets done: frank and leo 

duo that doesn’t work together: jason and percy 

duo that no one expected to be really good together: nico and annabeth 

stealthiest duo: hazel and nico

duo that would expose each other: leo and percy 

(i’m tagging @tridentgum because i remember you asked for this lmao)

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

So, as I said in a previous post, I spent the whole night yesterday making picrews, and I thought: “Why not make picrews of the fictional family that I love more than everything in this world?”

Anyway, here they are! This is a close representation of how I picture the Hyde family whenever I think about the TSG universe (I am going to come up with a different name for this universe one day I promise). I am also going to give you guys some glimpses about their quirks and their personalities, so, click on the thingy if you’re interested on reading that.

Unfortunaly, it was impossible to make Jackie and Gracie’s eyes the way I picture them (mismatched, lol. I know this is a controversial topic but every single time I see the show I notice how Jackie’s eyes are different colors and I add that to every single one of my fics. It’s one of her little flaws that only makes her more perfect). So just pretend that one of their eyes is blue-ish, and the other one is green-ish.

Oh, and as I post more and more picrews, you might notice that out of all the adults characters from the TSG universe, Jackie’s the only one who doesn’t have any wrinkles. Years of a very strict skincare routine payed off really well for her.

Hyde grew his beard back, mostly because I always picture him with a beard when he’s older. Oh, and sorry for the lack of sunglasses, he stopped wearing them everyday when Dylan was a baby (he kept taking them off his face and throwing them at the ground lol).

On the left, we see Layla, the eldest and the wisest from all the three kids. The age gap between her and her siblings is big, so they always run to her when they need advice about something. 

Layla’s a lot like Jackie, she cares about her looks, she’s a social butterfly, and she’s probably the most popular girl in school. She’s not shallow though, nor does she have the superiority complex Jackie had in the first few seasons of the show, Hyde and Jackie made sure to raise her well. 

Layla’s also a bookworm, and a big romantic at heart. One of her dreams is to publish an epic romance novel, and writing is probably one of her favorite things in the entire world. She has this little red notebook filled with heart stickers in the cover where she often writes poems -- and Jackie is the only person allowed to read said poems.

Her hair is naturally wavy (as showed in the picture), but she starts to straighten it when she’s older. She grew up in the 90s after all.

Then there’s Dylan, or as I like to call him, the Hyde’s little evil spawn.

Don’t get me wrong here, Dylan is literally so sweet, and he cares about his family more than anything in the world. He’s a sucker for his mom’s hugs and he wants to be like Hyde in the future, but he also has a lot of pent up energy, which tends to put him into some pretty funny situations.

Dylan has a partner in crime, his name’s Jordan and he’s Fez and Laurie’s son (I’ll post a picrew of him later too). I’ve based Dylan and Jordan’s friendship on the Weasley twins from Harry Potter, they are natural pranksters and they drive Laurie and Jackie insane. Red helps the duo out with their pranks sometimes, claiming it’s “payback” for all the years he had to tolerate his son and his dumbasses friends mooching off him and making his life “miserable”. Dylan and Red also have a cute bond, we’ll see more of that in the sequel.

As he grows older, Dylan gets tall. Like, Jackie’s a midget next to him, guys (that doesn’t stop her from coddling him though). No one knows where he’s got that height from, and he uses that to his advantage (by placing Jackie and Layla’s Pop music CDs on high places that they couldn’t possibly reach just to mess with them. Oh, and he also joins the basketball team lol).

He’s very protective of his family, like, really protective, and he doesn’t take shit from anyone. He has a special soft spot for Hannah (Eric and Donna’s younger daughter). Hannah is a year older than him, and she’s hearing impaired. One day a guy from school stole her hearing aid to mess with her, and he got the beating of a lifetime. Dylan was suspended and Jackie went to the school to yell at the principal and defend her son, because she’s that kind of mom.

Don’t get any wrong ideas about Dylan and Hannah though, they were raised like siblings.

Dylan’s very into cars (another thing in common he has with Red), and when Hyde finally gives him the Camino, he babies the fuck out of it.

And last but not least... Gracie. Or Erica, as Eric likes to remind everyone about it.

Gracie will only be three years old in the sequel, so we won’t see a lot of her personality, but as I said many times, I do plan on writing one-shots about the kids when they’re older once the sequel is done, so...

Hyde has a special nickname for her, he calls her his little “Goldilocks” because her hair is curly and it’s almost a golden color. She’s a very smart kid and she’s always drawing.

Seriously, Jackie and Hyde’s fridge is filled with Gracie’s drawings, it’s the sweetest thing. They never threw a single drawing of her away, they always keep them, and they incentivize her as much as possible when she’s growing up.

She grows up to be an artsy person, and she’s very talented. She’s not a social butterfly like Layla, nor is she a “badass” like Dylan, she’s an introvert, she likes to stay home with her parents (she loves her parents so much) and have movie marathons with them on the weekends instead of going out to party.

She hangs out a lot with Katie (Fez and Laurie’s youngest daughter), who’s her best friend and her complete opposite, they have a bunch of sleepovers where they watch a ton of horror movies together and stuff their faces with ice cream. Their friendship is really something else, and she’s the first person Gracie comes out to (yup, Gracie’s a lesbian).

Gracie and Eric are very close, and she gets him very into Harry Potter. It’s funny, because Eric insists that he’s a Gryffindor, and Gracie tells him he’s totally a Hufflepuff, which makes him mad and they end up bickering because of it. But overall, they love each other a lot, and Eric’s a father figure to her.

Her relationship with Jackie and Hyde is beautiful. She’s not afraid of asking them for cuddles when she’s feeling down, and they are literally her biggest supporters. When Layla moves out for good (insert very sad Jackie and Hyde noises), they turn her room into a mini art studio for Gracie, and she spends most of her days there, listening to music and painting whatever comes to her mind.

Wow, I got really excited and I ended up talking waaay too much, but well... I love this family so much, I couldn’t help myself.

If you have any questions about the TSG sequel or about the characters in general, please feel free to send them to me!

Posting picrews of the Forman family next!

[afrival]

yoyo do you have any ameripan headcanons? currently thinking about them too much - 🐦

HI AGAIN 🐦, yes I ABSOLUTELY have some Ameripan is one of my favorite ships please I love them sm

no warnings

•=======================•

- Okay I am a firm believer in nerd/weeb Kiku

- He is absolutely a gamer please, and so is Alfred so it’s like PERFECT

- They love playing duo games together but at the same time will kick each other’s ass in Mario Kart

- As I said. Weeb Kiku. He and Alfred are def big anime enthusiasts (they’re favorite is attack on titan and I am projecting but I refuse to change it)

- So I mentioned in my RusAme hcs that Alfred is a big superhero movie fan (esp marvel), and I think Kiku would be too so they bond over that A LOT

- Essentially these mfs are the biggest geek couple like. My god

- And they’re both very smart so they will overnalayze any movie, anime, show, or game they consume together and it’s just so fun

- They’re dates are usually staying at home and ya know being dweebs, Kiku doesn’t like to go out in public that much

- Especially in really busy cities LMAO like American cities scare him lowkey

- He holds Alfreds hand whenever they’re in public bc it’s comforting but that is the absolute farthest he will go with initiating pda

- Kiku is a very firm believer in keeping relationships private so that’s like his main thing, but in private he gets rlly touchy LMAO

- Alfred likes visiting Kiku’s house whenever he needs to be somewhere quiet and peaceful

- They cook each other meals a lot but Kiku more so than Al, bc 1: Al loves Japanese food and 2: Kiku prefers his culture’s meals over Al’s PFFT

- Alfred is trying his best to learn Japanese and he knows a little bit but it’s nowhere near perfect

- Kiku is the only person Alfred will sit down and drink tea with bc he just likes spiting Arthur 😙

- Neither of them get jealous that easily, and they don’t feel the need to be protective bc they know the other can handle themselves in an uncomfortable situation

- Alfred is energetic as hell and always seems to be excited and that rubbed off on Kiku a little bit, like he just loosens up the more he’s around the mf and it’s so sweet LMAO

- Like Al in general just brings out the more “childish” side of Kiku, for example he gets VERY competitive during games and suddenly starts cursing just as much as Al does on a regular basis

- Alfred really likes spoiling Kiku on days like his bday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, etc. Also any important cultural days in Japan he will gladly take part in

- Oh my god I just thought of smth— they listen to anime openings in the car. And they will sing along. Like they get TURNT during Crossing Field and Unravel

- Alfred is usually big spoon and Kiku little spoon however sometimes the dumbass just wants to be held and the other dumbass wants to hold so 🤷

- Obviously I’m a slut for ships where they’re best friends who are also dating, and that’s them in a nutshell. Like they do bestie shit but they got the bonuses of kissing and cuddles and whatever 😤❤️ they are so cute bye

I am absolutely thriving with these Hetalia requests keep em coming guys bc I have immense brainrot 😩