#They’re kinda the closet thing I have to friends at this point

[homobrainjuice]

Think I might cry myself to sleep again tonight hope I have energy to be social tomorrow

[dread-knight]

Maybe I’m dumb and tinfoil hatting but wrt my last reblog: I think possibly the reason why a lot of (usually young) LGBT people on social media are so sex-negative to the point of repeating catholic homophobic talking points is kinda. They’ve grown up seeing so many people being called out for being predators and shit so that on top of society saying gay is bad makes them internalize the belief that “if you’re open at all about your sexuality you must be a bad person”? Idk maybe I’m just drawing from my own experience of knowing a guy who was like this and was particularly gung-ho about his thoughts of “if you talk about your kinks publically you’re weird and suck and probably have skeletons in the closet” and was charismatic enough tht he convinced our whole friend group to parrot that shit.

[elhopperentourage]

The “Unstraightening” of Mike Wheeler Throughout Stranger Things

Mike would never have even shown interest in girls if El hasn’t shown up. Think about it. Throughout the series we see all the canonically straight men talk about women or act a certain way about/with women.

Lucas and Dustin are both immediately drawn to Max. Steve goes through two female love interests and is rejected by even more girls. Billy goes on dates and has posters of girls in his room. The show makes it clear when a character is interested in women.

But with Mike, we don’t really see any of this. Sure, he has a female love interest, but shes always just been there to Mike.

I think it has something to do with when Lucas says “You’re just excited there’s a girl who’s not totally grossed out by you!” (or something along those lines) Mike hears this and realizes this is supposed to be an opportunity for him. He’s supposed to be interested in El romantically. Soon after that, we see Mike ask El to the snowball, but the way he asks her is obviously… kinda weird. There is literally a comparison made to El being his sister. And then they kiss… after that strange relation… mind you they’re both twelve and El doesn’t even know what it means to like something/someone yet. (as shown by her encounters with Max in s3)

My main point is, the show makes no effort to show that Mike feels attracted to girls. Other than having him date El, which is obviously an unhealthy relationship that has been pulled apart many times before.

Just think about it. The show could have shown Mike being interested in Max, like his straight friends are, but instead he’s compared to Will. They both couldn’t care less about Max, which is an interesting similarity considering Will is canonically gay. The show could have Mike chase after El, like we see with Steve and Nancy, but instead he mopes around and kind of forgets about her (because of will ‘,:| strange.) The show could have put posters of girls up in Mikes room, like with Billy, but instead Mike has… a buff dragon? and a… one way sign pointing to his closet..?

There’s just no effort -outside of his constantly failing relationship- to show that Mike is straight.

Sorry if this is a bit ramble or has already been said. It just came to my mind randomly and i didn’t want to forget about it!!

[love-toxin]

Okay but miscommunication trope is only super yummy when there’s a happy ending. Liiiike reader thinking they’re getting kicked out of their relationship in the fruity four, they’re not wanted anymore, maybe even bring replaced (ie with someone like Chrissy), and so every little sarcastic quip or ignoring is seen by them as the others not loving them anymore 🥺. Until one day it all comes crumbling down and I can’t decide with is more angsty, you breaking down telling the others they don’t love you anymore, or you trying to be brave by announcing you’re leaving and the fours hearts just dropping as they try to scramble to convince you to stay and why?! Why are you leaving!?!?! Please! But of course, happy ending when everything’s properly explained and angel is reassured they could never all fall out of love with them ❤️

oh.......miscommunication trope, you say? >:)

(cws: fruity four, gn!angelface, jealousy, post-s4, PTSD, huge miscommunication trope, domestic arguing, you have a tattoo + kinda shitty parents + bad home life, chrissy's a jealousy target, breakups, jopper appearance, you're childhood friends with jonathan, mentions of grief, an almost car crash, very mild head trauma, crying, angst with a happy ending--stick with me angels!)

Sometimes you wish Chrissy would just disappear. Just--poof--and she'd be gone.

It's awful of you to think, but you can't help it. She's just always around, ever since her breakup with Jason she's been by the house much more frequently. You were happy for her at first, because you liked her up until then, and she's always been nice to you. Plus, your partners saved her life back when all that crazy stuff with the Upside Down happened, an event you weren't privy to until after the fact, when you started dating them.

But she's always on Eddie, always chatting him up, always giggling at his attempts to cheer her up, and now she's attracted the attention of your other partners too. They're good friends, and that's good, but....why can you not shake this feeling that there's something more going on? That the arm touches over his jacket and the inside jokes aren't as friendly and harmless as they want you to think?

It's worse than that, though. The honeymoon phase is clearly over--cause all four of them just brush off your concerns, insisting that you're overreacting or just not addressing them at all. So you haven't been piping up when a joke hurts your feelings, and you've bitten your tongue when one of them has to reschedule something you've planned, and it's gotten to the point that they've wondered why you're so quiet all of a sudden. Why would they care? You think with a sour feeling in the back of your throat, rubbing the tattoo on your arm that Eddie gave you and wondering if that was just practice for someone else. You're not oblivious to the way Chrissy is slowly being invited into gatherings and dinners with everyone.....just like you were in the beginning. And after an especially heated fight with both Eddie and Robin, the worst one you've ever gotten into in your entire relationship, he got so pissed off that he just told you not to come to the dinner they had planned, and they'd take someone who actually wanted to go.

That was a couple days ago, and the air in the house has been strained for nobody else but you. You're equally as hurt by Eddie yelling at you as Robin silently going along with it, even though you slammed your bedroom door in her face when she tried to follow you, and waited until Eddie tugged her along to leave before you allowed yourself to cry. You're sick of the feeling that none of them really care for you, that you've been demoted to a piece of furniture in the house, because they've clearly lost interest. And they don't care when your things start disappearing from the house, when the clothes in your closet start dwindling, leaving behind nothing but the ones they've bought for you--no, they'd rather moon over Chrissy fucking Cunningham, and you've just taken all you think your heart can handle.

"I'm going out!" You call into the house from the front door, without any of their four voices responding. When you sigh, turn, and step out to turn the corner of the house, though, you bump right into one of them.

"Oh! Hey, baby." Steve steps back and readjusts the paper bag full of groceries he's got his arm around, keys halfway tucked into his pocket. "Where you off to?"

"Um....just, uh, gonna go visit my parents." You weren't really expecting him to pry, with how in your head you've been lately. But you're not gonna relent just cause one of the people who promised he'd love you forever, yet somehow can't be fucked enough to find the time to even watch a movie with you, asked you a question that remotely shows an ounce of concern.

"Your parents?" He blinks, shifting again to rest the bag on his hip. "You sure?"

That tone is so irritating. You used to love that almost parental sense of duty, the desire of his to know every detail of every problem so he can solve it. But now, you just feel suffocated, even though you're more distant from all of them now than you've ever been. "What, I'm not allowed to see my family?"

"Hey, that's not what I said! hold on," He moves to put the groceries inside, but you wave him off and start walking past him, your tone clearly frustrated as you encourage him to just forget it. But, in a tizzy, Steve hurriedly sets the bag down on the ground and runs to catch up with you, his hand descending on your arm only to be swatted away--but not for long, when he grabs it again and grips it tighter as he turns you to face him. "Jesus, wait! What's the big fuss? Did I do something?"

"Let me go, Steve." You refuse to look him in the eyes, but you can't break his grip. Why can't he just let it go, so it's less painful? "I don't wanna drag this out."

"Drag what out?" Finally, it dawns on him as his eyes dart from the keys clenched in your hand to the windows of your car parked in the driveway, boxes clearly piled up in the trunk and in the backseat that none of them seemed to notice you moving.

".....So that's it? You're breaking up with us?" Steve says it with disbelief, like he's expecting you to say something or anything different. It's almost a little satisfying when you respond in the way he never could have expected, even though he should've by now. Even though it feels bitter on your tongue as soon as it comes up.

"You know what? Yes. That's exactly it." You finally wrench your arm out of his grip, and each of those words sting as they come out, but you won't cry, you refuse to cry in front of Steve today. "I'm leaving tonight, and I'm never coming back to Hawkins again."

"Why?"

"Ask your new girlfriend."

"Who? Wait--Chrissy?" He shakes his head, and what comes out next is more cruel than you wanted to be--but he just won't get it, it won't happen unless you make them realize why they don't want you anymore.

"Wow, the jock has a brain! Well done, Stevie." He grimaces at once, and god, you wish it would all stuff itself back into your throat.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you being such a-"

"I know you're in love with her, Steve! For fuck's sakes, I'm not as stupid as you think I am!" You shout into the broken silence of the front lawn, wishing from the deepest reaches of your heart that this could all just be a horrible nightmare. Not reality. You don't want to be facing those big, soft eyes of Steve staring back at you in shock and pain, so you just turn your head and hope he doesn't see how much you're shaking.

"I get it, okay?! She's prettier than me, and nicer, and she doesn't have my fucking issues--and you guys clearly like her. It's like I don't even exist when she's around." You move aside to gesture towards your car, keys clutched in your hand so they won't fall or get taken from you, because you know Steve is reckless when he's upset. "None of you even noticed I was packing. Nancy fucking helped me put a box in yesterday."

Just then, both your heads turn at the sound of a car approaching--and just in time, you realize it's Eddie, his van's tires crunching the gravel of the long driveway as he pulls up to a stop beside your car. And lo and behold, sitting in the front seat with a smile on her face is her. Chrissy waves to you through the window, and as if your heart isn't in the process of shattering into shards that dig into your lungs, you raise your hand to acknowledge her back. You turn back to look at Steve one last time. Memorizing his face, because you know you won't ever see him again, as you take a few steps backward and hand him your parting words.

"Don't break her heart, Steve. It sucks."

With that, and with nothing but confliction reflecting back at you on his face, you turn on your heels and make your way around your car, bidding Eddie and Chrissy a stiff goodbye as they get out of the van and you get into your car. You reverse, roll back out of the driveway, and shift gears to start puttering down the road. And as soon as the house is out of your rearview mirror, that's when you feel those tears spilling out that won't stop until well after you pass the Leaving Hawkins sign on the side of the road.

A week into your new start in the city, you haven't gotten any more closure than when you left.

Living with your aunt isn't great, but it's something. The apartment is small, and you still haven't found a new job--you did call the Palace to inform them that you were quitting, though, to which you were greeted with nothing but indifference as you left a message on the answering machine. Figures that nobody in that town would miss me, you think, but you can't dwell on it for too long, because then you'll start thinking of them and it'll have you sobbing into your pillow again. Even worse is that you can't even fully express your pain to your family, your aunt, anybody--because they'll all think you're a freak, and it won't be surprising that your "relationship" ended so badly. You don't even really speak to your parents or your family in the first place, so you can't expect them to show you any sympathy. In fact, if they said anything to you, it would probably be that you should be glad it's over so you can live a normal life.

You don't want normal. You want your Robin talking your ear off about something gross for hours, you want Eddie burping into your ear and laughing, you want Nancy falling asleep on top of you and drooling on your chest, and Steve--you want Steve to come over while you're both on your breaks, talking with his mouth full and stealing bits of your lunch while kissing you in between each bite. You want that love back, you want it so badly it hurts, it hurts your heart every time something reminds you of them.

Maybe that's the worst part. That they don't want that anymore, they want someone that can share those memories with of that terrible tragedy, who knows how they feel and relates to those nightmares that wake them up in a cold sweat, who they can compare scars with and laugh with now that it's all over. They want someone scarred but beautiful, someone perfect, and you can never be that way no matter how hard you try. It explains why you haven't gotten a single phone call, or a letter, or anything since you left, and that treatment extends into your second week in Indy and right into the third. But it doesn't get any less painful, even when you get a job at a convenience store around the corner to busy yourself and help with the rent. Nor when you try going on a date or two, just to spend the whole dinner staring off into space as they talk and wondering what the people you loved are doing right now.

While you're behind the counter at work, your thoughts often drift back to that house by Maple Drive. The path around the back that leads into the woods, where Eddie would take you out for a smoke and to watch the stars for awhile--always with a walkie on hand, just in case, as Steve used to say. The pool that often sits empty, and sometimes you'd look out the window to see Nancy lifting up the cover on it to peek underneath, before breathing a visible sigh of relief and briskly walking away. Sometimes even in the middle of the night, creeping out the sliding glass door in her pajamas. And you remember that bed you often shared with Robin, who gets so clingy when she sleeps....and you wonder if she's sharing it with Chrissy now, if the cheerleader you always thought was such a nice girl is occupying the spot you thought would be yours forever.

Your brow furrows as you stock Camels on the shelf behind the counter, sliding each one into the perfect spot but feeling an itch of irritation when they don't line up. Is Eddie holding her right now? Is he coming up behind her every morning, and nuzzling his nose into her cheek as she stirs milk into her coffee? Is Nancy cuddling her and chatting her up about whatever project she has going on right now? Is Steve picking up her bag, and insisting she let her boyfriend hold the heavy stuff while she sits and looks pretty? They probably are. And they're probably much happier doing it with her, than they ever were with you.

Something thuds on the counter behind you, and you sigh without a sound as the gruff voice at your back asks for a pack while you're at it. Your fist squeezes around the box you've got in hand, and when you turn on your heels to toss it on to the tabletop and reach for the scanner, your eyes widen, and so do the ones on the moustached man that's towering in front of you with a petite woman at his side.

"Hop?"

You breathe out the name, trying to regain yourself as quick as you can--you're pretty used to keeping your tears back now, adjusted to having a straight face so nobody will pry or prod for your feelings. The former sheriff of your hometown that you used to duck out of sight from, laughing and hiding your goods with Eddie right behind you, is standing at your counter with a shocked expression, along with Joyce Byers who seems just as surprised to see you here. And with little else you can think of, you clear your throat and try to crack that tense silence.

"Uh...so, you two on vacation, or someth-"

"Are you fucking with me?"

Hopper cuts you off, hands bracing the edge of the counter as he looks you up and down, the two glass bottles of Coke getting shoved aside by him to fall over and roll across the counter as he reaches across the barrier to grab your arm. Without much struggle, because you have no clue what's going on, you allow the older man to yank your wrist up and turn it over, Joyce hurriedly pushing up your sleeve with her gaze pinned to your skin, like she's desperately searching for something that has nothing to do with your confused questions spilling out on top of each other.

When they've finally uncovered that patch of skin they were looking for, the two of them share a look between themselves, before finally looking back up to acknowledge how baffled and worried you are. It isn't until you scan down to see what they found that the pieces start coming together, the black ink of the tattoo Eddie gave you when you first started dating peeking out at you. It's just a thin, mid-sized black circle on your inner forearm, with five points reaching outward like a sun. But the detail of it has always enchanted you, Eddie's diligent stare as he inked it into your skin burned into your mind. You've considered getting it covered since then, but....you can't bring yourself to do it yet.

"I'll call it in," Hopper says cryptically, stepping back and turning away to bring out the walkie from his belt and start mumbling into it. In the meanwhile, you're left with his partner, and the lady you've practically grown up with since she babysat you a long time ago. You often forget that time, when you and Jonathan would run around her backyard with sticks and rocks to try and build your own castle, while his baby brother watched from the stairs and giggled at your antics. You were so young, and so carefree, it seemed....but it was a happy time, one of few before you met those four.

"Honey, you're alright?" Joyce's voice quivers, anxious for the answer, but you nod as soon as her question registers because you hate to see her like this.

"Ye...Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" She circles round the counter, coming right in for a hug that you return without question. The squeeze is tight, like a mother's embrace upon returning home from a long time away, and you instantly feel a pinch of guilt for neglecting to include her in your plan to leave Hawkins. Now that you think about it, you really didn't tell anyone, except....

"-Kid, relax, we're coming there. No, do not get in your car, sit your ass down so you're there when we get back! Jesus," Hop gets more animated as he talks over the channel, and your hug splits as your head swivels towards the sound of a familiar voice through the static. Steve.

"Are they there? Let me talk to them! Please, Hopper, let me hear their voice-"

It's so frantic, desperate. The first time you've heard one of their voices in what feels like your whole life, and you have to struggle not to cave, bringing a shaky hand up over your mouth as you whisper a "What's going on?" to Joyce. And with your ears perked up, you can distinguish the background noise in the transmission--there are three other distinct voices, talking just as fearfully amongst themselves as they also try to get through to Hop. Nancy, Eddie, and Robin, each with as much indignation as Steve, who must be holding the other walkie.

"We're coming down right now, kid. Just try to calm down in the meantime." With that, Hopper shuts the antenna and gestures for you to follow him, the sweet woman at your side holding your arm as you obey him, like she's afraid you'll vanish if she lets go. You're led out of the light of the fluorescent bulbs overhead to Hop's truck parked by the curb--you at least have the sense to fumble with your keys and lock the front door before you leave--you let him open the door and sit yourself in the backseat, and shakily buckle yourself in as they get in front with promises to explain everything. Still struck dumb with shock to the point that it hasn't really registered that you just left work in the middle of your shift.

But you get an idea of what's happening when you turn your head, and catch a glimpse of a scattered stack of papers on the seat beside you out of your peripheral. Tentatively, as Hop starts up the ignition, your fingers brush over one of the nearest pages--and when you lift it up to survey it closer, the two of them notice you and share another sobering look between them. What's staring back at you is undeniably, unmistakably, a missing person's ad. And the picture is one you recognize immediately, because it's yours. Your photo, details of your last sighting, a description of your tattoo, a list of things for people to look out for....

"You really worried everyone back home, kid."

Suddenly, a bitterness rises up inside you, and the paper crumples slightly as you realize what's really happening. "I'm fine. I just...decided to get out of Hawkins."

"Yeah, well, maybe tell your roommates that, first."

"Hop-"

"They didn't care! I told Steve anyways, so what's the big fucking deal?" Even though Joyce flinches at you raising your voice, you can't be quiet right now. Anger is something you've been almost too numb to endure these last few weeks, but now you could just put your fist straight through Hopper's window--they put up such a fuss for what? To drag you back to that shitty inbred town in the sticks, just to make sure they didn't want you in the first place? It's bullshit.

"They sure as shit care!" Hop shouts right back, casting his signature scowl over his shoulder as he drives through semi-empty streets. It's so late, and so dark, it's unlikely there'll even be many pedestrians. "Do you realize how many times Nancy Wheeler has shown up on my doorstep, begging me to go on another search and rescue for you?! They're worried sick!"

"Why?"

There's silence for awhile, very tense silence, before you repeat your question that says much more than just that one word.

"....Because they thought you were gone. They thought you were there."

There. That's what he means--the other world, the Upside Down. The place you've never seen, only heard horror stories about and snatches of descriptions of when you comforted one of them during a night terror. The missing people, the murders, the experiments....they're all so hard to believe, but then again, you can't deny Will's remarkable return from the dead or Barbara Holland's coverup death, both of which you've been close enough to to know that there's no way they're just elaborate lies.

So they were worried you had died. That your disappearance wasn't of your own volition. They're going to be in for an unfortunate surprise, but by the tightly shut locks on Hopper's truck doors, you know there's no getting out of this until he brings you right back to drop you in their laps.

"We came here to look for you. Your mom finally told us you had an aunt in the city." Joyce offers you another piece to the puzzle, but your mind is still stuck on the fact that your ex-partners seemed so desperate over the walkie. They....they wouldn't want you to die, but that doesn't mean they want you. Figures that your parents would make it more difficult for two of the only people that even remotely have any concern for you too, they're probably profiting off all that glorious attention of having a missing child.

"I have a life here, now. I don't want to go back." Lies. You know it's all lies.

"Listen, kid, whatever happened with your friends, I promise it's not worth throwing in the towel. You've gotta see things through." Clearly it's not worth an argument, you'd rather save your energy at this point. You're gonna need plenty to face that hard conversation you know is coming, when you're gonna have to confirm to them directly that you're moving on. No more running away, or hiding from the problem. You have to face it.

"You don't know anything about me, or them."

The already long drive drags on even longer in the silence that follows, and you make a mental note to call your aunt when they get you back to Hawkins, so she doesn't freak out when she comes home to an empty apartment. You can imagine your manager's gonna call and cuss you out before firing you for leaving the store unattended, too, and you groan and let your head hit the seat behind you. Now you're gonna have to find another job, gonna have to explain to your aunt what you did....or maybe she won't even notice your absence, not until someone makes a fuss about it.

Your mind is left racing with so many thoughts and worries that the scenery passes by without note, the moon barely shining any light on the landscape, like it's all one huge plain with little dots for buildings and trees. Like one big hellscape, but it's numb and frozen over with nothing left but a mocking echo of the world that's no longer here. You don't even really recognize your surroundings until a couple hours have passed, and the Welcome To Hawkins sign zips by and has you sitting up in your seat. Just as you pass it, though, you think you see the glimmer of another set of headlights, a rarity on these quiet streets--and then your whole world shifts violently.

"Shit!" Hop curses as he swerves suddenly, and Joyce shrieks as you all nearly careen off the road and into the ditch, your head cracking against the window and bouncing off for you to clutch at it in pain. A groan is all you can get out when he calls back to you, the dizzy feeling making you a little sick, but as you lift your head and the truck rolls to a stop, you spot the culprit of that downright suicidal speed driving that nearly caused a head-on collision.

Your heart is pierced with a deep chill immediately. You'd recognize that van anywhere, and that curly mane of hair as the driver stumbles out his door even moreso. He's not hurt, just dazed--and for the moment, your brain doesn't immediately go to the question of why you should even care. As he stands there in the road, in the dark, Eddie's form is lit up by the headlights still shining without a flicker, but he doesn't flinch even when it must be glaring directly into his eyes, just holds a hand up to block it out. And when they meet yours as you lean over the console to see him, he doesn't wait a second, hurrying around the passenger's side of the truck to fumble for the handle of your door. With a click, and the light above you switching on as a beeping starts to emit from the vehicle, Eddie's suddenly cramming himself into the backseat with you--and there's tears already wetting his cheeks as he grabs you in a hug, gasping in a shaky lungful of breath like he's shocked he's really touching you. Crying and mumbling into your hair, Eddie buckles when you squeeze him back, falling victim to that desire in the deepest part of your soul that just wanted to hold him again.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it baby, I didn't--everything I said, I swear, I was being such a fucking moron-" He starts babbling from nowhere, and his voice itself is a comfort, having not heard it next to your ear for so long that it aches now.

"Eddie-"

"You're mine, okay?! You're my everything!" He cries, burying his face even deeper into your neck and inhaling whatever scent he can get. You're stunned into staying limp, letting his hands grab and squeeze at you wherever they land--his curly hair tickles your cheek and sticks to it, and that sensation alone drags tears up to the surface, only allowing them to spill when you hear him whispering those croaked pleas of "I love you, I love you, I love you" until you're crying right along with him. It's been so long since you heard it, you'd started believing it was never really true.

It takes minutes that feel like hours for you to both calm down enough to look at each other, your face cradled in Eddie's rough hands as he sniffles and murmurs a "You're so beautiful" so innocently sincere, that it instantly makes you wish you had never left. He smiles, and the world that seems so dark grows a little brighter around you. You're not even privy to the looks Joyce and Hopper are giving each other in the front seat, clearly a little surprised at the passion you two share that nobody else has ever seen. But they know. And when Eddie starts pulling you out of your seat with the promise to take you back, Hop only reminds him to drive safely before he allows you two to shut the truck's door and circle round the vehicle with Eddie's arm clinging to your waist. The air hits you, cool and dry, just like it always is in Hawkins. And when he opens your door for you and waits for you to clamber in, before getting in on the other side and fumbling contently with his keys, you're not sure you really know what to expect. He briefly elaborates that he'd gotten worried, and that he's just glad he spotted Hop's truck before he'd sped all the way out of Hawkins and missed you--but it doesn't last, because soon he's grabbing your thigh and sighing out a breath of relief.

"We'll talk about everything when we get home. For now, I just want to hold you." Eddie offers his hand to you, giving it a grateful squeeze when you slip yours into it and interlace your fingers together.

They'll all hate me for real, this time.

That's exactly how the drive goes, Eddie's shoulders relaxed even as he steers with one hand, and navigates while stealing glances over at you with relief written all over his face, and brings your hands up to kiss your knuckles every so often. But he's just one. The other three....your heart sinks as you run over that last conversation you had with Steve, the way you'd ignored Robin completely, and how you pretended everything was absolutely fine with Nancy up until the moment you left. And it somehow dawns on you only then--they thought you were gone, that you had been taken to the Upside Down, and your heart sinks as you watch the trees pass by in clusters while that dread creeps closer down the road that's so familiar.

Not even the comforting warmth of Eddie's hand could drive that thought out of your mind, even less so when he turns and you hit that patch of gravel that leads up the driveway. He'll stop soon, and you'll be facing the music....and when Eddie shifts into park, you sort of float from your seat to the walkway where you threw your feelings back into Steve's face, and up towards the front door that Eddie opens for you before you cross the threshold into the house. It does feel like home, and you don't want to lose it right on the welcome mat, so you blink away any tears that threaten to spill before you quietly follow him into the living room.

Three heads turn to look your way, too inundated in conversation around the coffee table to hear the door opening, but that stops the second their eyes land on you. Steve and Robin are the ones sitting closest to where you stand, but Nancy's the one that makes her way to you first, her lower lip already quivering enough to break into a sob as she crosses the patch of carpet to throw her arms around you. She's strong enough to grip you tight enough to hurt, but too weak to keep herself on her feet, and you end up sinking to the floor with her as your name floods out of her lungs on repeat, getting louder and louder and louder until she's wailing. You could swear the walls rattle with the volume she cries at, completely coming apart in your arms like you've never seen her do before.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!" She shouts, yet her voice is like a child's, wobbling and whiny and so miserably pitiful that it pains you even to listen to it, especially when she's clutching you so close to her body--so afraid that you won't be there when she pulls away, so she refuses to. You don't have any right to cry when she's so distraught, but with your head over her shoulder, the other two watch your lips curve downwards and your eyes screw shut into a flood of tears that won't stop easily.

"I'm sorry, Nancy. I'm okay." You whimper, burying your face into her curls until your lips brush her jawline, and she shudders into each gentle, praiseworthy kiss that you press there. Up until her sobs subside, and she breaths a sigh of relief that you can feel from her chest against yours, each one sinking and rising into each other as you breathe along with her. "I thought you didn't want me anymore."

She shakes her head, and finally pulls herself back to look at you, a fresh wave of tears streaming down her cheeks when she gets a good look at you. Nancy touches your face, thumbs away your own tears--and you know she's not just looking at you, but the girl she lost so long ago, whose smile she sees in yours on those days she misses her the most dearly. "I never wanted you more when I thought you weren't coming back," She whispers back. "How could I not want you? I love you."

The kiss she lays upon your lips is breathtaking, shaking and sweet and just....everything. Everything you missed and craved like air and water and life.

You're already halfway into her embrace when she laughs out that half-hearted joke, walking back with you a couple steps when you throw yourself into it. And she squeezes you so tight, so hard, the kisses a flurry of needy, fluttering touches all over your face until she somehow finds your lips--and when she does, she makes that last one a kiss you won't shake off for days, the feeling tingling your lips even when she pulls away. Still rubbing that spot on your back that she knows is sensitive, Robin grips you in an even harder hug that nearly cracks your spine, and whispers into your ear: "I'm so happy you're here with me." before she kisses you one last time, last one, she swears, fingers crossed behind your back. But then, she takes notice to the man standing just a foot away--and she lets you go to turn you around, her fingertips grazing your arms as you finally face him.

"Yeah, she, uh....she cried, like, every night," Even as Robin says it and breaks the quiet, she herself is rubbing tears from her cheeks, trying to keep that smile going as you stand and Nancy loosens her hold. She moves aside for Eddie to lay his hands on her shoulders from behind, and keep her steady on her feet. "So did Steve. I told you he cries when we watch Princess Bride!"

"I-I....I didn't mean it, Steve. I never...I've never thought you were dumb." Your voice comes out as a whimper, fingers fiddling with each other as you endure that big, brown, wide-eyed stare.

"I know." He breathes, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. He wants to move, he's antsy, but he won't take another step. "I know, baby."

"Can I hug you?" Steve just nods, but his lip quivers and his features gain that pathetic, sad puppy look, because he was hoping and praying you would say those very words. Your heart soars as he meets your step forward and flings his strong arms tight around your body, crushing you with his huge stature but never loosening up. He instantly brings his hand up to cradle your head against his chest, kissing the crown of it with so much firmness that you know he's reaffirming you're really standing in front of him again.

"I shouldn't have let you leave. I should've slashed your damn tires." He chuckles along with you at the lighthearted crack at breaking the tension, until he chokes up again into a sob. "Nobody could ever replace you. And I swear, I'll never break your heart again."

Steve holds you for a long time, squeezing you and kissing you and brushing strands of hair from your eyes to just look at you, surveying the face of the love he feared he'd never get to cherish again. It's a long time coming, and when he's done, there are three other warm bodies in the room that need attention from the sweet thing they've been killing themselves over these last few weeks.

From there, they catch you up with what had happened in your absence. Steve had walked off to clear his head after you left, and hadn't returned until late in the day--burst through the front door during an unusually quiet dinner and sent them all into a panic, when he realized you really had left and you weren't coming back. The four of them had jumped into action to split up and look for you, Nancy contacted your parents and other family while Steve and Robin tried to find some hint of your whereabouts in the house, cracking open your drawers and notes and realizing how much of your stuff was missing. Meanwhile, Eddie had driven in circles round Hawkins and the outer city limits, trying to find any trace of your car in the dark with the help of passing streetlights.

When those attempts had failed after stretching out into the next day to mid-afternoon, and with your very unhelpful parents insisting they had no idea where you could've gone, that's when your partners had started printing out missing person's flyers and put in an official report with the sheriff's office. And, seemingly having forgotten that you were really the only one who ever checked the voicemail at work, your message tendering your resignation had been errantly erased by your manager--worrying them even further when they questioned him, because if you were really planning on moving away like you said, how could you not tell your employer? It wasn't like you. Their fears had only gotten stronger from there.

The worst had yet to come, though. Because when your car had been found on the side of the road way out in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles away from Hawkins and completely destroyed, the four of them had reached the point of no return. The plates had been torn off, but it was your exact make and model of car, and what were they supposed to believe? That it was just coincidence? That's what Hopper had tried to reassure them with, tried to insist that plenty of cars get found gutted out in the bush, but they couldn't be convinced that it was just some freak happenstance and delude themselves to think that you were fine and dandy somewhere else. The same thing had happened to Max's stepbrother, and they all knew how that had ended.

So started the search parties, the nights spent staying up and studying maps by lamplight, the microwave meals in place of home cooking and sleeping in shifts by the phone, waiting and hoping for some kind of clue to your whereabouts to appear. Finding you had become more important than eating, proper sleep, showering, or attention paid to anything aside from looking towards the horizon to see if you would magically walk back into their lives.

And all that time, you had believed nothing but that they couldn't care less where you were, or what you were doing. When in reality, they could think of nothing but you. That was what had led Eddie to nearly crash into you as you re-entered Hawkins, having been pacing the living room for those long hours after Hop's call until he just couldn't take it anymore--despite the other three trying to stop him, he had dashed out to his van and peeled out of the driveway like a lunatic, just for the slightest chance that he might be there when you needed help. It was so stupid, so reckless, and you'll remember that moment he came rushing around the side of the truck to get to you forever.

Despite them reassuring you about Chrissy, too, when the tears have dried--promising you she's nothing but a friend, and they would have no problems limiting her interaction with all of you from now on--you wave it away, smiling off your stupidity and letting them know that it's fine. You were just being dumb, acting crazy, but you're fine now. And Eddie's eyes narrow at that.

"You're not crazy." He murmurs absentmindedly, and says nothing more until he can slip away from your reunion, and reach the phone in the kitchen. While you're busy dealing with your other partner's crippling absence of affection, he taps his blunt nails into each button, numbly dialing the number he's memorized until the ringing starts and stops.

"Hey, Chris. Angel's back home."

"Oh, that's great! Oh...Eddie, I'm so happy for you. You must be relieved-"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. Listen, no hard feelings, but....you're my friend, so I'm just gonna be straight. Don't come by the house anymore."

"I--what? Really? I....Eddie, I'm sorry, if I did something to upset you-"

"No, no, nothing you did. Well, not really. But I know how you feel, Chris, and I can't really ignore it anymore." He swallows deeply, and sucks on his teeth as he tries to think of some better way to say it. "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't feel the same. I never have, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like that might change."

"......So that's it?"

"That's it. We can still be friends, but we need space for awhile first, and I'm not gonna ignore you flirting with me anymore. I'm in love and it's not gonna change. Sorry."

"Can we at least talk about it, Eddie? Please? I'd rather talk this out in person."

"No. Bye, Chrissy."

He thuds the phone back on the receiver just a little too hard, and brings his hand up to rub at his neck and try and get the ache out. That didn't feel good, having to confront one of his very few friends with a truth he just wanted to ignore--but the sick feeling he has now can't even compare to how he felt when you were away, and it's an easy decision to make in that regard. He'd take you over her any day. It's a bit of a guilty feeling, but he knows it's the truth even if it hurts Chrissy's feelings, and he's happy even so.

"....Yeah, I missed you real bad, sweetheart. Don't you ever think I wouldn't....or else you are crazy."

"Eddie?" You call out from the living room, and following that sweet voice to its source, he feels himself light up at the sight of you settled back into the couch. Legs tucked up in Robin's lap, halfway into Steve and Nancy's, looking so comfortable and cute as you look up at him. You're where you belong. He's so distracted by the glee and relief of having you home, he didn't even realize how quiet it had been between you all until he came right back from his task. You say nothing more, just hold your arms out to him--and when he gets close enough, you capture him with those pretty eyes of yours, and melt away any ill feeling as you pull him into your chest.

[eddiegettingshot]

my list of tommy crimes to litigate leading up to september 26th

calling buck kid

calling buck evan (and sounding so incredibly annoying while doing it)

not laughing enough at buck’s funny joke about the mug

“and yet they’re so grateful” fucking weird thing to say honestly.

eddie literally SAID “you’re not jumping ship are you?” and tommy is causing people to turn their backs on my princess

never followed up on getting a beer with buck

why did he shove in to take eddie to the doctor at the basketball game like ummm buck offered that’s his best friend go away ugly…

condescending in the kiss scene honestly

why did he even kiss buck when buck was making jokes about hurting eddie when presumably tommy had just seen eddie feeling sad and guilty about buck and he knew buck hadn’t reached out or apologized. honestly strange like that shouldn’t have been cute

literally leaving buck in front of the restaurant and not even telling him he was about to do that until he had one foot in the uber

“i think you’re adorable but i don’t think you’re ready” is an unforgivable sin. Actually.

and then he had the nerve to be disingenuous about this like oh yeah sure you definitely made that closet joke because you didn’t want to pressure him. like can you be sincere at least

being snarky about the coffee isn’t a crime in a vacuum but unfortunately he never stopped being snarky after that so it annoys me that he said “mm so not like that” ummm just shut up and drink it!

didn’t dress up for the bachelor party and then was just dismissive of buck when buck was like i told you the theme. like honestly he could have just been like i won’t be able to dress up for x reason beforehand. or you know. he could have put in some effort.

“hey i knew chimney before he was chimney” don’t talk about chimney. also weird response to eddie’s point

“enjoy it while it lasts” ok?

only the active suicide risk thinks he’s good people. everyone else kinda doesn’t want him around. lesbians don’t approve.

“your dad’s still alive” it literally should have been you. god should have tried taking you instead of bobby

literally every time he’s talked about gerrard. it’s not his fault that he’s the mouthpiece for foreshadowing but it’s still a crime

“god i hope so” does he even like buck. Like actually

[inawickedlittletown]

I’m kinda a little obsessed with how we begin at the end of the dinner portion of the date. Buck and Tommy have gone through this whole dinner…they’re on their second pitcher of beer and already have the check. And after all that it’s only when they come to the end that Tommy points out that Buck is a bit tense.

Is it that they’re at the end of dinner and Buck is suddenly aware of the world around them again…because Tommy would have probably mentioned something before right? Is it that Tommy paying has suddenly made Buck aware they are actually on a date? But we can sort of assume that until that point maybe there had been some nervous energy but it had been going well. And now he feels like there are people watching him. It's just so interesting how they decided to write this.

Buck's word salad...his confusion is just so Buck, but Tommy doesn't know him well enough to realize that. It's literally Buck processing and if Eddie hadn't walked in as a literal representation of Buck being perceived, Tommy and Buck probably would have had a productive conversation.

And I'm glad that it didn't all go well. That Tommy got to see that Buck is really still struggling through his discovery of who he is...like yeah he throws that dig at Buck about closets, but also Tommy does understand where Buck is and maybe he's seeing a bit of what Tommy himself went through.

The thing that this does allow is Buck to have some time. Tommy's right, Buck isn't ready. He's freaking out...not about Tommy, but about his very identity. What Buck is, is honest. He's not someone that hides anything from his friends and family. It's hard for him to lie to Eddie and we see that immediately when he goes to talk to Maddie because that's the type of thing that matters to Buck. He's also kinda going crazy thinking about Tommy.

They're handling Buck's story so well. And I love that Tommy cuts their date short without putting any blame on Buck, and that he leaves it to Buck to reach out. His interest is known...he doesn't leave Buck before telling him he's adorable and that he'll see him and we the audience are left waiting for Tommy to come back within the scope of this episode.

And I can't help but think about how if Tommy only allowed himself to be himself after he left the 118, he's only been out about as long as the show has been on and six years going on seven isn't a long time in the scheme of things. It also does this amazing thing to show the contrast between Tommy and Buck because Tommy knew he liked guys long before he acted on it/admitted it. Buck had no clue. Tommy hid it, he lied. Buck can't do that, it's not in him to be dishonest, and it's a true struggle for him.

Buck talking to Eddie about it and coming out to him...it's so beautiful. I love that scene but in the context of Buck and Tommy there's so much in Eddie's support of them and his push for Buck to reach out to Tommy. Eddie has Buck's back no matter what and it's exactly what Buck needed. Not just the support of his best friend, but the truth telling. It's a weight lifted off his shoulders, and not just that but he has advice on how to move forward too.

I would have loved to see Buck trying to figure out what to say to Tommy when he calls him, but what I love is that Tommy is willing to see Buck. There's something so careful about the way that Tommy acts when he arrives at the coffee date. Obviously he's showing up because he's interested in Buck...but he also probably had no idea what was going to happen. He certainly did not expect Buck to ask him to be his date at the wedding. And then Buck places his hand over Tommy's and Tommy puts his hand over Buck's and Buck doesn't care if anyone sees.

I love this show. I love the care being put into this story.

[gatorbites-imagines]

yoo whats up i have a request for you, poly ghostface x male reader who has quite the similar personality to stu, but the reader is a metalhead, especially into death metal. he has like hella long hair and a massive cd stash (maybe even a pot stash too..) i dont really mind if it takes place before or during the kills, but billy & stu are like highly intrigued by all of the gorey album covers + shirts and how he's a bit gore obsessed. thanks my dude

Billy Loomis x Stu Macher x male reader

Headcanons

I haven’t written for these two in a while, sorry it took a while for me to answer this request lmao.

-          Now in the beginning the three of you probably weren’t friends, maybe you were Stus friend since you have such similar personalities, and that you are kinda an outsider being a metalhead in a town like Woodsboro.

-          There is definingly a lot who looks down on you for how you dress, how long your hair is, or your interest in the darker things like horror movies, dark cd covers, etc.

-          But as you get closet to Stu by extension you get closer to Billy, and in the beginning, Billy would just put up with being around you, since he and Stu are most likely already dating, and Stu seems to really like you.

-          Then they visit your place and see just how cool your room is, with your huge collection of CDs, band t-shirts, posters and alike. Billy would immediately be interested in your CDs with darker covers, if I remember correctly there’s even covers out there with real bodies on them, so if you had those Billy would find them very cool.

 -          So, you end up close to both of them, and as time passes it develops into more. It would probably be Stu who fell for you first, and at some point, Billy reluctantly admits he’s fallen for you too.

-          You would not pick up on any of their attempts at flirting since your kinda daft at times, but that’s okay, they like that about you. They would start out more subtle with their flirting, at least Billy would, I don’t think Stu has a subtle bone in his body when it comes to people he likes.

-          When you just think they’re extra friendly no matter how much they try to give you hints, cuz it’s the 90s so just telling a guy you like em probably isn’t that easy, even though Billy and Stu are already together, they both wanna bang their heads against the wall.

-          I could imagine it finally clicking one night when the three of you are smoking together, using the stuff you have, so your all kinda high, and I get the feeling Stu is the giddy giggly kind, whilst Billy is more the calm and thinking kinda high.

-          You would be laying with your lap in Stu’s lap as he plays with your hair, the guy talking about how pretty it is and asking what kinda soap you use to get it this soft.

-          Then at some point Stu would just look at you and state that he really wants to kiss you, and since you are also high and have had feelings for the two you jokingly tell him to go for it.

 -          Stu being well, Stu, leans down and kisses you. You kiss him back just as enthusiastically, arms thrown around his neck and pulling him down till Stu is also bent in half cuz your still in his lap.

-          Billy just sits and watches as you go from kissing to full on making out, and before the three of you know it, you’re sitting in Stu’s lap and his hands are up your shirt. At some point Billy scoots his way over, pushes your hair to the side and kisses your neck.

-          Pulling back from the kiss, Stu confesses in a very Stu kinda way, aka he just says, “I love you man, I wanna be your boyfriend” and you just say you love him too, and Billy. Billy just chuckles a little and says he loves you guys too, and the rest is history.

-          The three of you wouldn’t be out to the public about being together, seeing as Billy and Stu weren’t out before, but you get “friendlier” aka you start hanging out with them more between classes, you wrap an arm around each other or lean against one another, those kinda things,

 -          When the killings happen, you are one of the top suspects, because you are an outsider and weirdo to the townspeople. You end up having a good alibi though, having been at work in the record and CD shop in town.

-          It doesn’t stop the rumors though and people look down on you even more than usual, but Billy and Stu stay.

-          I have a feeling you would discover they were the killers, and right when they worry about having to kill you or you freaking out, you just give them a lazy grin and ask to join.

-          They fall in love with you even more and now there are three ghostfaces, I could see you listening to music when killing too, which Billy tells you not to do, but Stu will sit beside you and listen to it too between killings.

-          A night of massacres always ends up with the three back at one of your guys places, cuddling and maybe smoking and maybe more If you are all in the mood.

-          You end up converting them to like your kind of music, so Billy and Stu can regularly be caught borrowing CDs from your collection, or adding more of their own when they find some you don’t already have.

-          You’re a group of murder boyfriends who are all stupidly sweet on each other, and Billy has the braincell for the most part, but he loves you guys anyways.

[lemotmo]

Can we talk about how awkward it’s going to be when buck breaks up with t*my and dates Eddie?

I don’t see people bringing this up so often but t*mmy is also eddie’s friend, someone that likes the same things as him and has a lot of things in common.

It kinda makes me sad if they end up breaking that friendship because they work as friends and Eddie deserves to have someone that understands the same things as him (something him and buck don’t have a lot in common and that’s fine but it’s true)

And if that DOES happen I wonder how they’re going to do it, I kinda feel bad for t*my now :/ he’s going to be left without a boyfriend or a best friend 🥲

And this is coming from someone that ships buddie and doesn’t like t*mmy and buck together. But rewatching the show again it made me feel kinda bad for him tbh. That will quickly go away once buddie gets canon tho so, but still it’s a beautiful friendship

Hi Nonny!

There will be no awkwardness. You know why? Because Tommy will probably never be mentioned again.

Tommy was a plot device to help Buck out of the closet. But at the same time the writers wanted the audience to see and realise that none of this was really about Tommy himself, but about Tommy stealing Eddie away from Buck.

So they conveniently set Eddie up with Tommy for them to bond and become friends. They did this in one single episode. Eddie never even mentioned Tommy or his friendship with Tommy again in any other episode. In fact, he was pretty hostile towards Tommy in the bachelor's party episode.

As soon as Buddie happens, there will be no more need for Tommy as a plot device, so he will disappear and never be mentioned again. He might show up again in a later season to help in a rescue, but as far as his bond with Eddie? It will be as if it never even existed.

I'll be honest here and I have to ask the question:

Where do you see this beautiful friendship between Eddie and Tommy? We only see a small glimpse of it in episode 7x04. Eddie talks about Tommy and him doing stuff together sure, but they never showed it. So I really don't see a beautiful friendship here. They needed these two to be friends in order for the bi Buck plot to work out. So they made them friends. But there is no build up or focus on this friendship at all.

Eddie has a beautiful friendship with Hen, Chim, Bobby and Buck. He also, canonically, has poker friends and basketball friends. I think he'll manage just fine without Tommy.

As for Tommy? I hardly doubt that Eddie suddenly is his best friend after they hang out a few times. And I'm sorry, but I can't and won't feel sorry for Tommy losing his (maybe) boyfriend and friend. He has been in 6 scenes or something in season 7. They were hardly dating. I'm sure Tommy will be fine. And since I don't expect to even see him again after the break up, I don't think we have to worry about him anymore.

Yep, that's more or less the general consensus in the Buddie fandom.

This is also the reason why we shouldn't be too concerned about what happens after the break up. What happens to Tommy or to the Tommy & Eddie friendship isn't the point here. Tommy is used as a ploy to make Buddie happen. That is the point.

Have a great day Nonny!

[lover-of-mine]

the whole ‘why is he here’ thing is 95% of the reason i don’t understand where tf BT shippers are getting all of this from. ‘tommy’s so kind to buck’ ‘they’re so smitten’ ‘they’re made for eachother’ ‘buck’s so happy with tommy’. okay, but where?? show me in canon, read me dialogue, point out specific scenes, SHOW ME exactly where the show had told or shown you that these things are true. and they can’t! because there has been nothing on screen to suggest this, no development, no certainty about their relationship, no discussion about their relationship at all actually, no emotional connection… sure buck is smiling and happy but it’s not like buck has never smiled or never been happy before? ‘buck’s grinning!’ that’s literally how oliver smiles! he cheeses!! the show is giving absolutely nothing but then the shippers run with it and headcanon and make things up out of thin air and decide it’s canon fact to shove in people’s faces and delude themselves into believing they’re getting more than they are. either season 8 breaks them off and treats him as the fairly unimportant plot device for buck’s bisexuality realisation that they decided to keep around for a bit longer because he was getting them clicks and attention, despite the fact that they had no idea what to do with him… or it actually makes an effort to prove to us ‘why he is still here’. i know which option i’d prefer…. but my point still stands. sorry for the paragraph!

Don't apologize, I'm giving you a standing ovation. The whole Buck is happy, he's grinning thing if funny because he was like that with every girl before? He was grinning like that at Ali, he looked smitten by Taylor up until the point in 5a where they decided the relationship has been enough, everyone saw how he was smiling a Natalia at the coffee date or during 618, even the cemetery while talking about her and no one was screaming endgame even tho Natalia was played out to be his endgame in case of a cancellation. And the whole T is so kind to Buck, sure, the flirting can be cute in 704, BUT Buck is an unreliable narrator, so I kinda eye everything that happened there wondering how much is true and how much is Buck's rose colored glasses, but even in that scene, T was in no position to excuse Buck from hurting Eddie, and he actually asked Buck out after kissing him out of nowhere instead of running away like Taylor, but it's not like Taylor set a very high bar. Then maybe the way he tops Buck's beer on the date? But that gets overshadowed by the way he calls a car and leaves Buck on the curb, only communicating he's leaving when he's literally in the car, when he could've talked to Buck before? Also the closet joke to Eddie when he knew Buck wasn't out was ?????? And then we have the coffee that i still don't understand why any of that happened, because why would you agree to go to someone's sister's wedding after half a date you walked off? Then the party, if he was so great he would've dressed on theme????? He literally needs to change into a uniform because he shows up at the hospital in said uniform, so he could've put effort into his outfit. The way the hospital scene could've been cute if he had helped Buck clean his face or at least told Buck his face was dirty, and they could've walked in holding hands or something. The ceremony had nothing, Buck's hand was even in his pocket because there was nothing about that conversation to indicate they were more than friends. And the dinner in the loft had Buck being vulnerable, and the weirdest tone shift leading to a kink joke that feels very out of place given the circumstances. That's it. That's every scene. Tell me where are you seeing them being made for each other? I honestly feel like T comes out as callous and condescending every time he opens his mouth. I can't find anything to like about him or about him when it comes to Buck and I legit don't understand where the hype is coming. Like, seriously. The show gave me nothing. Let's see how the show handles him next season, I guess.

[strawbrygashez]

ZERO DAY/CALDRE HCS

•Andre fell for Cal pretty quickly. It was a mix of Cals ‘pretty blonde boy’ looks, Andre being a loner with no real friends beforehand, and Cal just getting him in a way no one ever really has before.

•Andre introduced Cal to more heavy music. Andre likes industrial metal while Cal had only really liked grunge before. Cal also shows Andre some grunge songs. They’ll make playlists for each other every now and then.

•Cals really good at making bracelets (real ones or just those kid friendship type bracelets). He’s made countless ones for Andre. (Andre mostly wears the first one Cal ever gave him)

Andre has tried making them too but once he even gets slightly frustrated, he gives up and just tosses it into Cals lap to finish for him.

•Kinda related to prev point, Cal likes doing DIY clothes/jewelry stuff in general. It gives him something to focus on other than wanting to die all the time 💀 One of his favorite things he’s made is a bracelet made out of the tabs off of Monster Energy cans. (Andre is honestly jealous he doesn’t have one.)

•Andre had a skateboarding phase. He kinda gave up on it halfway thru the ZD plans but he did try to teach Cal how to skateboard. (No it wasn’t a excuse to touch him while trying help him steady himself on the board.. okay fr it wasn’t. Cal just wanted to try it out since he saw Andre owned a few skateboards)

Cal is a bit of a giggler so he couldn’t take Andre too seriously when he was trying to give him actually helpful advice on how to skateboard.

•If Andre was in a particularly good mood while driving, he’d sing along loudly to whatever was playing on the radio. Cal would just shake his head with a smile.

•Cal tossed around the idea of working at hot topic for a while but for some reason or another, never applied. Andres secretly disappointed bc he would have liked if Cal had a employees discount.

•When Cals really bored & just feeling ‘off’, he’ll cut different shapes and stuff on himself. He’s done stuff like hearts & a butterfly. He’ll also do words or letters like ZD, A (for Andre :P), and because he’s a Manson fan.. I think he did Marilyn Mansons MM logo at least once. What a emo /j

•Both of them like thriller & horror movies but when it comes to TV shows they are a bit different. Andre likes stuff like Ghost Hunters & shows where they try to find Bigfoot (bc hes a very imaginative guy 💀) while Cal likes game shows where he can yell out answers & go on about how the contestants are stupid with Andre. He’s also kinda interested in cooking shows which Andre hates since they’re ‘too boring’.

•Neither of them are huge readers really but if they find a book or magazine that’s interesting, they’ll let the other borrow it.

•Andre steals knives & blades out of Cals room when he’s not looking but Cal never says anything. They both know Cal will just find a way to cut somehow but Andre still does it anyways (and since Andre will ultimately do whatever Cal wants at the end of the day, If cal asks for one of his knives back enough, Andre will give it back)

•Andre is sooooo the type to punch walls. He won’t do it at home really since he doesn’t want his parents worrying about him so it leads him to like.. punching brick walls outside which is much worse for his knuckles lol. But of course Cals there to bandage it up later.

•Cal is diagnosed with a few different things but won’t really bring it up unless it really needs to be. Andre knows all of his diagnoses tho and Cal will joke that Andre has the same things (depression, autism, adhd, etc) Andre will joke that he’s perfectly fine.

•Andre kept a good amount of his toy action figures from his childhood. They are in a box in his closet.

•Cals a bit of creep because sometimes at sleepovers, he just stares at Andre sleeping. He does it without even anything going on in his mind. He’s just enamored by him. Andre has caught him doing it a few times and just groans and rolls over or tosses a pillow at Cals face

[hana-bobo-finch]

Mr president, another oc has hit my tumblr blog

(VERY) rough doodles of her unfinalized design uurrghrghegehh here you go. these look like crap but I do not care because I love her.

her name is C.C. and I will not go into an entire biography cause I’m real tired rn but basically she is…probably the happiest character. absolute beacon of positivity, despite lacking a PW. Long story with pws that I’m not willing to get into right now. To put it simply, they’re like guardian angels. if you don’t have one, you have horrible luck at all times because you don’t have plot armor to protect you. Point being, C.C. has horrible luck. woe.

Other than that though, she’s an entertainer. Or at least tries it be. She’s hugely extroverted and spends all her time trying to entertain people in some way (her main forte is radio but she’s also done (unsuccessful) impromptu comedy to people who Really didn’t want to hear a comedy special). She has a great worth ethic and almost managed to take ahold of an entire large company just from wits and charm. Being an entertainer is her main focus, everything revolves around it in some way. If she is not entertaining then her life is meaningless. And yeah “entertainer” is a vague term, but she’s been in nearly every corner of the entertainment industry in some way shape or form so it’s best to just use that umbrella term to describe her career.

She’s kinda Out There, wears a ton of bright flashy colors and usually wears a face full of makeup (not pictured here though). Nobody really cares though, if she wants to wear the most garish color combinations imaginable, that’s her choice.

Has a habit of talking to herself a lot, pretty much can have entire conversations with herself (SAME)

Absolutely wonderful person, 10/10 I love her she is probably one of the only not-morally-gray characters. Though I wouldn’t doubt if she had some skeletons in her closet

She’s also a fish person!!! It’s way less obvious with her because she was created with different circumstances but yeah!!! She’s kinda friends with sushi, they mostly just tangentially end up in the same areas together due to both being fish people but she did join up with sushi briefly because sushi promised a life of excitement and obviously that sounded great to CC. I don’t know what species of fish she was before being humanized, if anyone knows about any interesting fish species lmk cause I’ll try to incorporate it into her design/personality

She has the gift of prophecy. Sort of. Less prophecy and more so being able to see things that others can’t, seeing through certain lies, stuff like that. But I’m sure there’s some prophecy mixed in there too. Alas, nobody believes her and they just think it’s part of her entertainer persona. “gift of prophecy that nobody believes, isn’t that like—“ YES ITS LIKE THE GREEK GODDESS CASSANDRA!! THAT IS HER NAME. CC. CRAZY CASSANDRA. IT’S A STAGE NAME.

anyway yeah goodnight 👍

[velvetvexations]

so just to preface I don’t believe in “male socialization” or anything, BUT there is something I’ve noticed with the vast majority of upper-middle class leftist white trans fems I know- it’s like they spent so long being kinda the de facto “center” of everything (things like getting to be loud in public without shame, average teenage white boy behavior tbf) when they were closeted, that now that they’re out they still have a really bad habit of talking over other trans people. Like one of my friends was acting like the arbiter of transness to our other friends.. who had been out and proud for 10+ years at that point. imo race and class must play a huge factor in this since I generally see this kind of behavior from wealthier white trans fems

This is just "male socialization", anon, like straight up what you're doing here is saying you do in fact believe in male socialization. Considering I've been told to read transfeminist literature to understand The Struggle by self-identified TMEs (because cis men are sure as fuck not taking part in this discussion) it's definitely not just people raised as boys doing this.

[katzkinder]

Happy birthday, Miyako!! Headcanon dump time :3

She’s trans and bisexual. I’m actually not sure about whether she’s officially trans or not within the story. A lot of things point to it! But there hasn’t really been any confirmation and some of the out of universe talk about her muzzies things further (like, for instance, the official twitter account calling her a brother and husband, and seeming confused as to whether she’s a man or not) so for right now, this is a veeeery strongly supported by canon headcanon

She loves the Flower Knows makeup brand. For anyone unfamiliar with them, here’s some examples of their makeup! They’ve got stunningly gorgeous packaging, but sometimes she wonders if they’re not too… Childish looking for a woman her age? Who cares, it’s beautiful!

These are from their Swan Ballet collection, so I feel like Miyako wouldn’t be able to resist something this pretty and elegant…

She fell in love with Kei at first encounter. They met during Miyako’s university years, sharing a class together. Kei very bluntly told her she was beautiful and then just sort of… Smiled, surprisingly shy, before she wandered off. Like that was the only thing she’d approached Miyako to say. Instantly smitten. The Sendagaya appear to have an Ikemen gene in there somewhere…

She prefers iced coffee over hot

Her nails are gel acrylics and she does them herself at home. She’s the type of person who doesn’t feel completely comfortable leaving her appearance up to others so develops those skills herself, just to make sure the outcome is entirely what she wants, and if it isn’t? She has no one to blame but herself.

Her guilty pleasure is bar snacks. Y’know, fried, greasy, totally not good for you at all but they’re so tasty you just can’t stop and uh oh while you were distracted some old men started a fight—

She’s good at enka, but Iori is better. Thankfully, he’s annoying so his friends never want to go karaoke with him.

Out of the three siblings, she takes after their parents an equal amount for personality. Iori is more like their dad. Yumikage is more like Shirayuki, but he got corrupted early by bad influences so it doesn’t show as much (lol)

She’s the sort of person who celebrates a six month anniversary with her lover.

Her favorite colors are deep, dusky blues that verge on purple and cream yellows that are almost white

She worries a lot about the gifts she wants to give to people, but it hardly ever shows. Very put together but flamboyant. Partially this is as a shield against the way others might treat her, but she’s also just naturally a cheerful person

Like the rest of her siblings, she’ll laugh at you for failing, but it’s not out of malice. Usually. They’re all just kinda assholes.

She reeeeally wishes she had a younger sister. Instead she got Yumikage, which is like. The worst option. She loves him but he’s soooo uncute. … She’s glad that he’s happy.

And finally, she has a stuffed wolf plush she’s had since she was a baby. They all have one, but she keeps hers on a high shelf in her closet and brings it with her to new places. Security blanket. Hers has pale blue paw pads~

[hithoeshi]

100 Ways to Say I Love You

♡ unrequited? // shinsou hitoshi 50. “ i think you're beautiful ” [prompt list ] a/n: i might turn this into a 2 parter but i'm not sure yet. depends on how you guys like this :)

A black skirt shot out from inside the closet, the quickness of it flying out gave no warning to Hitoshi before it smacked him right in his face. He huffed at the impact, the surprise of it wearing off before he picked it up and tossed it aside on the bed where he was sitting. 

Your bed. 

“Watch where you’re tossing! I almost lost an eye.” Although his words were rough, Hitoshi’s tone was filled with mirth. He could hear you mumbling inside the walk in closet but heard nothing tangible so he continued to sit and wait. 

Waiting. 

That’s all he seemed to do when it came to you. Waiting for you to grab your blanket from your room before he could start the movie. Waiting for you to get out of the shower so he could use the bathroom. Waiting for you to come home from another bad date with another bad guy just to make sure you were okay. 

But mostly, waiting for you to see that he was in love with you. 

It was his fault, really. His friends had told him not to get a woman roommate. You’ll either fall in love with her or mess it up by screwing her, Denki had said to him when he confided in the blonde. Fat load of help that did though because a week later, you were moving in. 

So he’s been waiting, for about a year now. Bakugou said it makes him pathetic to be swooning over you for so long, Mina said it was romantic and Denki told him just to man up and kiss you. Hanta’s really the only one to truly see how far gone he really was, the only one to have pity in his eyes when he saw the two of you together on movie night or game night or some other time the gang gets together to hang out. 

It’s maddening, to say the least. But he’s not going to ruin whatever this was. It’s a balancing act. Hitoshi is happy with just being your friend (best friend, as you’ve stated a few times) for the time being. He’ll take what he can get at this point and although his friends tell him to piss or get off the pot, he’s not changing a damn thing. His friends tell him the worst thing to happen is that you’d not feel the same but they’re wrong. 

The worst thing to happen would be not having you in his life. 

So he pushes it down, paints on a smile and ignores the pains. 

Especially on nights like this. 

“Hitoshi, you don’t understand.” You say with a sigh as you peek your head around the closet door, hiding the rest of you from his sight. “Dating right now is ruthless. Men are kinda pigs. No offense.” 

“None taken.” Hitoshi shook his head, waving off her words because they were true. At least, the men she had been dating recently. “So is that why you’re completely obliterating your closet right now?” 

You roll your eyes and duck back into the closet with a huff. Hitoshi tries to ignore the complete adoration that the gesture brings, focusing on your muffled words. “Yes, keep up. I want to make a good impression. I want to look nice but I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard to look nice. Might send the wrong message.” 

“Trying too hard is bad?” Hitoshi asked with a furrowed brow. What was with the dating scene lately? He’d never heard of that before. 

“Yes. Remember that guy I went out with, Evan?” You continued after hearing his hum of recognition. “I wore that dress that I got for Mina’s cocktail party and halfway through the date he told me that I looked like I was trying too hard to impress him.” 

Hitoshi snorted and rolled his eyes. “Dick.” 

“Aha! There you are…” You mumbled to yourself, the excitement clear in your voice. The sound shot a harsh pain through Hitoshi, causing him to clench his jaw and cast his violet eyes down to his lap. 

Maybe Bakugou was right. Maybe this was pathetic. He was helping her pick out an outfit to wear to a date that was not him, that had to be considered pathetic…right?

“Who’s the new guy, anyway?” Hitoshi pulled himself out of his stupor with the question, the silence making his thoughts too unbearable. 

Silence rang for a long moment before your hesitant voice called out. “I…well, it’s some guy I met at the library. His name’s Davers. We got caught up trying to pick up the same book and we got to talking. Decided to try it out.” He could hear the shrug in your voice. 

Hitoshi merely hummed, nodding more to himself before glancing at the clock. “It’s five til. Isn’t he supposed to be coming soon?” 

“Shit!” 

He chuckled at your muffled cursing, eyes glancing around your bedroom as he tried to calm the ache in his chest that was slowly building with every second that passed. He often thought that maybe he should have drifted away when he realized his feelings. He’d been living with you for about two years now and about a year of that, he’d been head over heels for you.

Some days, when the ache and loneliness settle in too deep, he wishes that once he realized his feelings, he would have drifted away from your friendship. He knew that being with you was not an option. You just didn’t like him like that, he was sure of it. If he would have froze you out, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad. Maybe he wouldn’t be hurting as much as he is now. 

Well, he can’t change it now. No matter how much he wanted to. 

You finally burst out of the closet, your movements rushed and your altogether aura frazzled. You stopped in front of him and held out your hands slightly, your gaze hesitant and nervous. “What do you think?” 

Hitoshi’s throat went dry. 

You were wearing a simple pale purple dress that had little daisies littered over the fabric, a soft cardigan hanging over your shoulders and hands. Dainty gold jewelry hung from your ears, neck and wrist. You looked just as though you were hoping too: trying but not too hard. The sight was…

You looked like a goddamned dream. 

Hitoshi could feel his neck burn as he looked at you, his heart racing as his eyes roamed over you to take in every detail. Every miniscule detail. The paint on your thumbnail that was chipping just a bit. The clasp of your necklace had turned around to where it was showing against your chest instead of being nestled by the nape of your neck. The color lipstick you were wearing was the same you wore to work most days. The nervous fidgeting that your feet were doing. 

Suddenly, all he’s thinking about was seeing you like this on a date he asked you on. You were walking by his side in the same simple and endearing outfit, nervously holding your hand as you both chatted towards the restaurant (Italian, because you said you can learn so much about a person by what they order at an Italian restaurant). Suddenly his feelings for you were loud and abrasive, screaming at him in the silence of his mind. His heart ached for more, more than this. More than friendship and movie nights and helping with date outfits. 

He wanted more. 

So much more. 

“Well?” 

Your words broke him out of his inner turmoil, quickly replacing his previous dropped smile with a small one. A restrained one. His eyes roamed over you once more as he fought for control of his emotions inside. 

“You…it, well. It looks–” 

Rhythmic knocking interrupted his staggered words, heart stuttered for a moment while your eyes widened slightly. You gave him a nervous smile before grabbing your bag. “I’m taking that as a yes?” 

Hitoshi nodded lamely, giving you a strained smile as you started to make your way out of your bedroom. He got up, following you out towards the living room and towards the front door. This is not what he wanted to say. He didn’t care if it breached their “best friend” rules or whatever unspoken thing was between the two of you. He didn’t care anymore. Not when the sight of you made his chest ache with longing. 

“Wait!” 

The words slipped out of Hitoshi’s lips before he could stop himself, immediately feeling like it was a mistake and hoped to the gods that you didn’t hear him. He tried to control his breathing as you turned around, patiently waiting with a smile and a tilt of your head. Fucking adorable. 

“Yeah, Toshi?” 

The nickname, an obvious term of endearment, made his blood boil and his heart thrum with pride. He let out a breathless chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck for a moment before answering. 

“It’s nice, the outfit. I think…I think you look beautiful.” Hitoshi said quickly, noticing the slight widening of your eyes but bulldozed on. “I think you’re beautiful.” He paused for a long moment, a fire lighting inside him and you held the match. Adrenaline coursed through him and he couldn’t help a charming smirk from curling his lips. “Have a good date.” 

Without another word, he turned away and made his way back into the apartment. He kept a steady stroll to his room, barely noticing the timid way you answered the door and the hesitancy in your tone. He shut the door behind him, practically flopped down on his bed face first and groaned against the dark duvet. 

He wasn’t sure why but he had a feeling that things were going to change soon. And perhaps not for the better.

But he still hoped. Hope was his friend and he definitely needed one.

[byersfanclub]

call it controversial, I'm speaking my mind and if you don’t agree with me then so be it, atp idc what ppl may think about my opinion on this matter but as someone who views mike wheeler as a closeted gay person, meaning mlm, he is a boy who likes other boys and that’s it then I’m also someone who believes mike has never had actual romantic feelings for el at ANY point in the show. I don’t sit around and harass people who believe otherwise. 

mike is not even the FIRST person to show el kindness once she escaped the lab, it’s benny hammond. mike is the second person to truly show el some kindness and basic human decency by allowing her into his home and getting her clean, dry clothes. it’s something I hope anyone would do for anyone in that sort of situation BUT don’t forget it’s also mike’s idea to “send her back to pennhurst or wherever she came from” and comes up with the plan on the spot right then and there to have her go out the back door and knock on the front door and his mom will figure out what to do. they never had any plans on keeping el around until they found out she knew who will was, that he was alive and that she had fucking superpowers. I get kinda sick of ppl trying to twist this around. this is factual, it’s not some anti-m1leve3n thing ppl made up, it is canon. to say mike never wanted to get rid of el at first is just a straight up lie, his main priority was finding will, but he wasn’t going to be an asshole and leave a girl outside in the pouring rain.  

all mike cares about in s1 is finding will. I find it odd that some ppl don’t believe this, whether you think he could have grew a crush on el or not. he literally starts to disassociate, begs to help look for him, sneaks out of his home at night, bikes home and sobs into his moms arms when he thinks will is dead, is outright RUDE to el afterwards until she proves that will is still alive. 

both Lucas and Nancy say things that try to allude to mike liking el, which literally has nothing to fucking do with the plot of s1 AT ALL and they literally have no scenes that I can genuinely go back and look at and be like “aww that's so cute and romantic, I hope they’ll kiss and end up together” 

their kiss was never scripted and it wasn’t even meant to happen, it was something millie suggested and its funny that they chose to do it right after she asks if mike will be like her fucking BROTHER and he goes “no, well, I guess it’s sort of the same” like my brother in christ in what world is a date/boyfriend the same as a brother? he’s not stupid, even 12 year olds know the difference between a brother and a boyfriend. I genuinely think it’s because mike has never CARED about that sort of thing before, because he’s just a kid who wants to play games with his friends, uninterested in girls and dating in general. 

so, when I say that mike unintentionally uses el as his “beard” it’s not meant to be insulting towards el, because el is also using mike to try and be a normal girl. they are both just trying to be normal when both of them know they AREN’T. 

el is the first girl not immediately grossed out by mike, it’s because she doesn’t view him as anything other than a person, she’s not thinking about him romantically at all, she’s a 12 yr old girl that just escaped being in a scientific lab her whole life, romance isn’t going to be on the forefront of her mind, she probably doesn’t even know wtf romantic love even is. you think they’re showing Casablanca in the Hawkins national lab? I don’t think so. 

s2 shows mikes lack of interest in girls even more, and ppl using the reasoning that its because he “loves el” like idk how to tell you this, he knew her FOR ONE WEEK and she barely spoke the entire time and mike was focused on will all of s1. be so for real. really. his lack of interest in girls comes in the form of things more subtle like the dragons lair scene, which has mike and will off to the side, blank faced as dustin and lucas sort of duel for princess daphne. then there’s more upfront moments like mike being completely uninterested in max, while even will seems to be at least a little curious about her (ofc not romantically like dustin and lucas) 

don't even get me started on mikes monologue to will in s2 being 10x more romantic than mike’s “love confession” monologue in s4 which fell flat on 90% of the audience (on purpose, I see u duffers)

the snowball scene isn’t meant to be a romantic scene for m1lev3n but it gets interpreted as one because of they way they film it, and it’s literally done that way ON PURPOSE. they are tricking you, me, the entire audience into believing mike is so upset because el isn’t there. but his reactions to will getting asked to dance and afterwards (with dustin also being upset over Lucas and max) are clear. then they show us Nancy asking dustin to dance along with el showing up to the snowball to dance with mike? 

The ending of s2 solidified mike using el as a cover for his queerness, to be normal, because he was aware that he was DIFFERENT. this is why m1lev3n is so insufferable to people in s3 because its written to be insufferable. they don’t want you to like it. to finally see mike and el as a couple? it’s annoying, ppl don’t like it, the characters themselves are over it and even el herself. 

then there’s will and mikes fight scene which is 10x more breakup coded than m1lev3ns ACTUAL breakup? bro had mike sobbing and throwing up as he biked across town in the pouring rain to apologize, meanwhile all mike did was eat Doritos and burp while complaining abt el breaking up with him, calling her a different species and such. he didn’t actually care deep down, it was more annoying and frustrating that she broke up with him than emotional because he didn’t love her romantically, he’s just mad that he lost his cover that keeps him appearing as normal as possible. 

the ending of s3 solidifies to me that el is ALSO using mike to be and feel normal, because they’d been broken up for months at this point and she suddenly feels the need to kiss him and tell him she loves him too? while mike literally tries to avoid remembering the shit he said earlier in the season, because he didn’t mean it and if he did, he wouldn’t have acted the way he fucking did in s4. BFFR. el only wanted mike back because she lost hopper. 

hoppers letter is meant to be familiar love between el and hopper and it’s meant to allude to the growing romantic tension between mike and will as well, in stranger things, there’s double, triple, quadruple meanings to everything and this is one of them. mike KNOWS he does not love el, he knows this in s2, he knows this during s3, he knows this coming into s4. mike is desperate to not lose her as his cover because as much as mike is “himself” back in Hawkins, he still can’t stop thinking about will because Hawkins isn’t the same without him. he knows he’s thinking about will too much, that he worries about el so much because he’s unable to face his true feelings that he has for will and not her and mike believes that el genuinely loves him (she doesn’t). 

this brings me to believe their official split is going to be a lot more mutual than ppl believe. el has come to terms that her and mike are over during nina, I believe el suspects/knows that mike is gay/likes will. their sbp talk paralleling jack and joey from Dawsons creek is almost too spot on for it not to mean something, especially to know will still pining and jealous over them right after it. 

in conclusion, im tired of pretending I ever thought mike and el were ever a cute ship, they weren’t. there was no spark between them for me and many others. it was like they were being forced into my face and I think the duffers did this with so much intention. not only did they straightbait robin and steve so well, but them “shoving” a straight ship into our face in the way mainstreams shows get criticized by homophobes for gay ships. it’s no wonder one of their favorite shows is Dawsons creek. 

mike wheeler is gay and never liked el. el hopper got caught up in mike’s internal conflict and also latched onto him for a sense of security and to feel like a normal teenage girl. 

fin. 

[bluedalahorse]

Nils (for your character ask)

NILSSSS MY GUY. Ok!

How I feel about this character: I enjoy Nils! I’ve said this to a few people, and maybe I’ve said this publicly on my blog, but Nils is fascinating to me because he’s not terribly earnest or romantic or effusive in a show where many characters are earnest. He has his earnest moments—especially in season three—but there’s also a practicality to a lot of what he does. Nils comes across as a little 18 going on 45 but still secretly 18. And I find that refreshing and interesting, in a show where all the characters are very teenagery teenagers. In addition, I think the intersections of Nils’s identity open up a lot of avenues for exploration in fic. Nils could potentially be richer than August and Vincent combined, but he’s also brown and gay and closeted. I’m sort of fascinated by characters who play up their privilege while downplaying the ways in which they are marginalized (to be fair that is almost the entire cast of YR) and this is definitely something I see coming up in how Nils goes about the world. How much internal conflict does that bring up for him? To what extent is he aware of it even, or to what extent is he becoming aware of it as a young adult who’s coming to understand his identity? I also just want to know more about Nils’s sense of South Asian identity, as someone who grew up in an area with a lot of South Asian diaspora. Like, I’m curious about how recently his family immigrated to Sweden, what specific part of the subcontinent they come from, what the family history related to Partition might be, whether it’s just Swedish spoken at home or whether Nils is more bilingual like Simon and Sara, etc. (Also, as someone who watched Sholay with a friend for the first time yesterday, I am wondering how many times small Nils has watched Sholay with aunties and uncles.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Okay first and foremost, August. It is extremely confusing to me that fandom seems to be so largely against shipping them after them having more than one vulnerable moment in season three, especially after that conversation they had about the initiations in August’s room. I swear, y’all decided they were illegal to ship on a secret group chat you didn’t invite me to. It just feels extremely obvious to imagine a first year scenario where they’re in a state of pining and repression that could put EM Forster’s Maurice or John Knowles’s A Separate Peace (shout out to @whambamglambam) to shame. And then if you really want to let the characters grow and end up on a journey, they could get back together as adults in like a second chance kinda way. Or they could be disasters as adults, dealer’s choice. Outside of August, I think Wille and Nils could be a great disaster ship and I would like to see more of that. For a time I kind of shipped Nils and Marcus, but now that I have the full shape of the series in my head, it’s not as interesting to me. I think long-term I ship Nils with whichever OC or OCs (not gonna rule out polyamorous Nils) allow him to feel a sense of growth and safety. I created an OC boyfriend for him in Swell the Numbers, and I think I’m going to have them stay together.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Vincent and Nils does zero things for me as a romantic pairing, but I really enjoy thinking about them as friends. I think there’s probably some things that bond them pretty strongly, like rolling their eyes at August being extra (but also maybe worrying about him a little bit.) But there’s also going to be points of tension, like the old money-new money thing, the differences they have around identifiers like race and neurotype, etc. I also think a lot about how Nils is frustrated that Vincent becomes prefect and rowing captain in season 2, and how Nils seems to take rowing pretty seriously and would have liked to be captain himself. There’s a lot underneath that line and I think we should dig out a little more behind it. Outside of Vincent, I like to think that Maddie and Nils have some kind of secret oddball friendship that began when they agreed to lie about hooking up at the opening party. It’s weird and consists a lot of the two of them texting memes to one another and neither of them knows why it works but it works. Maybe someday I’ll include this in a fic.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I’m pretty sure adamantly shipping Nils romantically with August but not with Vincent is an unpopular opinion. Outside of that… okay well, I don’t know if this is unpopular opinion, but I kind of enjoy having a headcanon where Nils’s parents aren’t homophobic and super traditionalist about gender roles or whatever, and are okay with him dating a boy. They just don’t want him dating an actor or an artist or something.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: YR didn’t really start explicitly addressing race as much until season 3, but now that we’ve seen how Felice thinking about race, it’d be interesting to see a similar storyline with Nils.

Thank you for sending in the ask! It was good to get a chance to ramble.