#im so hingry
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Think I might cry myself to sleep again tonight hope I have energy to be social tomorrow
#I have a party#Kinda don’t want to go#Uuughhhhh#im so hingry#I’m sad :((((#I don’t want to go :((( what if they think I’m being mean :(()#I can get competitive#And I don’t want to hurt these people :(((#They’re kinda the closet thing I have to friends at this point#Oooooffff#:(((((((((((((((((((((
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I have rizz
I do not want it
Someone else more deserving can have it
#people like me#and i dont know why#im stale bread#because connections scare me#take my rizz#i do not need it#IM SO HINGRY#i want sushi#i should use my rizz to get free sushi#its already gotten me free housing before#too bad im traumatized and afraid that anyone who shows interest in me is actually pulling a big funny joke#and it ultimately makes me uncomfy#BEAN FLIXKER 3000 IN BETHLEHEM PNENSIVAUNIAL#heheheheheheheheeegehe#sleep deprivation#is a hell of a durdg#grubs#drug#GUBS!#im crying laughing#ay GURNS#i cant spell anymore cuz im laughing so hard
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“if next time i see you, youre not you…”
TW:MINOR MOUTH BUG GORE, SEMI VORE?
“I love you man”
#my art#jrwi#jrwi bitb#jrwi kian#jrwi kian stone#jrwi rand#jrwi timothy rand#jrwi blood in the bayou#jrwi fanart#i had this idea for a while#like like for such a while now LMAO#imma definitely relisten so soon cause god i miss this#IM HINGRY! I DIDNT EAT THIS WHOLE DRAWING#IM INSANE#kian stone#timothy rand
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okay, fuck it. let's talk about remorse. more specifically, the lack of it
there was a post going around a while ago that claimed that izaya couldn't possibly have aspd, because he feels remorse, and its simply so subtle that it's hard to pick up on, and he simply hides it to maintain his image. given that this post is a jab at me and my work, i feel no guilt nor will feel remorse over jabbing right back.
(especially since, if you pay attention to the wording of the post and OP themselves, it's clear that they had a... certain other neurodiverse headcanon for izaya, and was for some reason mad at me for having a different one)
(but i digress)
let's talk remorse.
first of all, the "lack of remorse" criterion isn't, as some might be tempted to think, the most important "hallmark" symptom of aspd. let's break down how disorders are diagnosed!
in the DSM, disorder symptoms are classed into criteria. these criteria are sometimes grouped together. here's the criteria list for ASPD in the dsm-5-tr, the most current version;
under group A, we have the standard "this is what the disorder is like, and these are the symptoms of it. you need X amount to have this disorder." the criteria listed in groups B, C, and D are on their own because they are required for diagnosis. if the lack of remorse criterion was truly SO important that it was the hallmark of the disorder, the one symptom that sets it apart from all cluster B disorders, then it would be in its own group like those 3 criterion! but it's not, because while it's the symptom most people associate with aspd, it's not the hallmark of the disorder, nor is it explicitly required for diagnosis.
in fact, the main Thing about aspd is, uh, right there actually- a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others. in layman's terms, aspd is categorized by a consistent behavior pattern of treating other peoples' boundaries, wants, needs, and human rights, as trivial. this overall behavior pattern is then identified by specific actions or feelings the patient has- hence the criteria.
i could end this post here, honestly- who cares if izaya does or doesn't feel remorse? it's not needed for diagnosis, and it's izaya's whole thing to violate the rights of others- he consistently treats people as his playthings, wether or not they want him to (usually not!) he disregards others' feelings (the suicidal girls come to mind wrt this) and is incredibly reckless with both his life and the lives of others. it's kind of a done deal!
but i won't because i have more to say!
so. izaya. remorse. he feels it, but keeps it hidden. he represses it. and honestly, he always has some justification or another for whatevet it is he's doing. his targets had it coming because they're monsters. or stupid and cowardly. or had it coming. or it doesn't matter because he's a god amongst men. BUT- he does feel remorse! ASPD cured!!!!!!!!!!!!
guys i hate to tell you this, but i've felt remorse before. sparingly, but i have. i am a Person With ASPD from Real Life, i've been diagnosed professionally and even had multiple second opinions check and re-check, to the point that it became a running gag. i, without a shadow of a doubt, have antisocial personality disorder. And I Have Felt Remorse.
(my verdict is it sucks and is terrible and i have no idea how you people do it. yall need like, medals or something)
because, as you might have noticed... a lack of feeling remorse isn't actually the only thing listed. now, a lot of websites don't actually list the second half of the criterion, they just say "lack of remorse" with no elaboration. it's hard to find a website with the proper informatiom on it, especially if you haven't read the dsm to see the full criteria list, so you don't know what you're looking for. truly, i don't blame laypeople for not knowing this- it's not easy to find short of going to the source itself
but if you're writing long posts filled with "facts" about a disorder that you do not have, you better make damn sure your facts are right lest you spread misinformation.
(hell, i HAVE the damn thing and i make sure i'm as accurate as possible, because i acknowledge that Having The Disorder isn't a ticket to immidiate expertise. but imo it's especially egrigious when you don't have it)
but, the criterion itself is defined as "being indifferent to or rationalizing" harmful actions. Or Rationalizing. you can feel remorse as much as you want, but if you stomp it down with justifications about how you were right, it still counts!
and finally, the name of the game with diagnosis of any disorder is consistency. if someone can make their abuser cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's not aspd. that's just a special case. if someone can make anybody cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's aspd.
similarly, if someone can make most people cry because of them and feel no remorse, with one- or maybe two- exceptions, that's... still aspd. because the behavior expressed most consistently is a lack of remorse. one or two exceptions to the rule don't suddenly make you not have aspd, especially if you have multiple other symptoms. (in fact, in some aspd circles people do talk about having "exceptions," kind of like the aspd version of a pwBPD's favorite person. pwaspd feeling remorse or otherwise not meeting criteria in incredibly specific circumstances is in fact a documented phenominon. once again, this happened to me and i've been diagnosed multiple times over. were all those doctors wrong, or does aspd just not work like you thought it did?)
izaya consistently represses most of his more vunerable feelings. that's another one of his main things. if remorse is included in this, which it would be given the pattern, then izaya most consistently does not feel (or otherwise accept) remorse. a few slips of the mask here and there, where he can't stomp it down or ignore it, don't change that the most consistent behavior from him is a lack of remorse. in fact, him feeling remorse here and there makes the portrayal of aspd more realistic, imo-
people with aspd are still people at the end of the day, and aspd is just another mental illness. people are varied, mental illnesses present differently in everyone, and people have good days and bad days where symptoms are more or less pronounced. any symptom isn't going to be set in stone in severity or even presence in someone's life- severity of disorder changes with age, someone's circumstances, or even day-to-day, especially with cluster B disorders, where the people who have it are defined as being "dramatic, emotional, or erratic" (pg 735)
things change. people change. mental illness isn't as simple as people think, and aspd isn't as different from other illnesses as you'd think. people with it- including izaya- will have their good days and their bad days and their rare moments where something breaks through the clouds and for one moment, you feel normal, however distressing the feeling may be
that's not proof that the illness was never there. that's just life with it!
#durarara#izaya orihara#orihara izaya#the moral of the story is; don't vauge me just bc you headcanon an Anime Boy with autism and are butthurt that i have a different take#and more facts backing me up. oops did i say that out loud o me o my#waposts#please please please be FUCKING normal on this post im begging you. im at my wits end#i do not care if you are a criminology student studying at the aspid crushing factory. ask yourself this-#WHY DOES IT MATTERRRRRR this is all over a Head Canon why is it so bad that i headcanon izaya with aspd#that you feel the need to like. defend his honor or something#anyway yeah. im gonna go eat dinner im hingry
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its snacking time
#txt#his eyes are so much wider than im#used to seeing ghem in these#us presidents#his fingers in the first one... hrrmmm#and the way his ears stick out#ill do that tier list asp im just hingry now#even though i hust had dinner...
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:( i was so close to finally getting my sleep schedule fixed but for some reason my alarm didnt fucking go off so i slept a full 8 hours instead of taking a 3 hour nap. i was supposed to to to bed in like. 5 hours. not gonna happen now 😔
#this is genuinely upsetting ive been trying for a MONTH now to readjust things so im not sleeping#during the entirety of the day#bc i like have Important Shit To Do#but i simply cannot stay awake when the sun is out and i simply cannot sleep when it is dark. just end me#like genuinely about to cry. ive been needing to call the fucking office about my work program#bc they forgot to . im acruwllt too upset to words right now. but theh forgot to “something” and ive#been trying to call them for WEEKS#but no matter how many alarms i set my ass is UNCONSCIOUSS for all of their business hours.#im so fucking sick of it i was sleeping just fine at night just two months ago.#but i physically cannot stay awake for a full 16 hours#so i keep taking a nap when i mean to sleep - just sleeping like an hour and then being physically unable to sleep more#and then when i try to take a nap i just sleep for 6-8 hours no matter how many alarms i have set.#i THINK the problem is im able to turn off my alarm without waking up.#i have to solve a little puzzle to turn it off but that doesnt help :(#like it aint aeven entirelt about me bc i could sene thenoffice an email whenever.#but id prefer to do it during business hours cause i already sent one in the night and they never responded#but More Importantly#the animals keep not getting fed at all bc im asleep :((#oh and Also my stomach is fucked#bc i wasnt expecting to sleep so long so i didnt eat beforehad..... now im so hingry i feel like im gonna hu#hurl*
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i love how creepy earthbound gets sometimes
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There is a rising need for more Crowley & Crowley fanart
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tw eating stuff :-(
#belgggghhhh im tummy hungry and not brain hungry rn which is the more annoying version#im in so much pain stomach cramping but i cant keep anything down and i cant even think abt food without getting sick#id do anything to be brain hingry rn#feed bad complaining cuz if u go back it was kinda self inflicted#blegh be honest am i dyinf#my nody needs to est
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im so hungry and im shaking really bad i havent eaten since lucnh yesterday
#thayne yaps#sad face :c#they didnt let me eat lunch at school today because i left my badge at home#<- and my mom says its too late to make anything to eat but she made something yucky for supper that she knows i dont like#im so hingry my stomach hurts so bad i feel ill
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its fucking 4:30am why did i wake up let me sleep again brain :(
#nictxt#im so sleept#went yo the bathroom almost dying beacuse darkness makes me scared#i wanna sleep but im alod hingry fuvo#*fuck
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This was actually a fairly easy recipe to make surprisingly, and despite starting prep after 8pm (got home at 8! Stupid traffic!), while I did end up eating at 9, I didn't stress out pretty much at all while doing prep or while cooking which was nice for a change, and made it feel like it went very quickly. Went very smoothly at least!
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Googling how to incorporate organs into a plant abomination that's SOOOOOO hungry i need these drawings i make accurate damn it rotating teeth isn't cutting it sigh
Like can a plant have a bird crop? And if so how do I incorporate that
Or what about storing away excess fat and moisture into it's tail for emergency rations like a weird fucked up camel/leopard gecko beast. I have ideas!! And I don't know how to combine them all in a way that would make sense!!
Also the beast is mildly venomous but only sometimes
This thing will be unrecognizable by the time I figure things out grrr (and when it evolves I have to translate it to the new vessel!!! Great heavens)
The hungry guy in question btw. (Modeled by my friend 4 my bday 🫰😼)
#this is about my pokemon in the friendlocke im in btw#snover has been reduced to a flesh eating amalgamation that's just so hingry all the time#I think this plant probably has more than one stomach..
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i want chippy for dinner
i want chippy for dinner...
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HUGE episode for toxic yuri
[ID: a screenshot of nami and kalifa from one piece. kalifa is behind nami, grabbing onto her waist and face as she struggles. bubbles float around them. end ID.]
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