#They’re coming.
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dove
-(Powering off…)-
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No one tells you when you get a Big Serious Job™ how many fucking abbreviations you’ll be forced to learn.
#or how many abbreviations that you’ll come across that mean something different from what you’ve always known#I stopped reading a requisition to make this post because I read a sentence that was like#‘something something the COR and the contractor POC’#and I stopped like ‘contractor person of color???’ before remembering Point of Contract#also no one at my job tells you what any of this stuff means. they’re just like Morgan can you take care of this DOA?’#and I gotta sit there like Dead on Arrival??? before figuring out it’s a Delegation of Authority spreadsheet
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#I was gonna put big time rush but I didn’t have anymore space#mine was the beatles which is why they’re on this list even if someone tries to come at me and say they’re not a boy band. they are.
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When Mabel comes out to Stan, she’s really scared that he’s going to reject her and have an issue with it, so she’s emotional and asks him if he still loves and supports her and he’s just like “??? Kid I’ve been telling you all summer I’m one of the LBTGs” and then it’s her turn to be like “wait what??” because she thinks he had never mentioned a sexuality before, and it turns out Stan had been constantly telling the kids that he’s “ambidextrous” because he thought it meant the same thing as bisexual.
#the twins just thought he was really proud of being able to write with both hands#I like to think that he suspected that Dipper & Mabel were queer all summer but he didn’t want to force them to come out to him#so he just casually drops in being ‘ambidextrous’ so they know they’re safe with him#and it was just a misunderstanding between them#they were both genuinely confused at the others’ reaction#gravity falls#gf#stanley pines#mabel pines
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this was just an excuse for me to draw XS shirt jayce x shampoo ad viktor
#arcane#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#artovna#jayce in that slutty little shirt oh my god im gonna throw up#okay ive extracted all my jayvik feels now#who am I kidding they’re gonna come back full force
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My inner artist demon vs. my inner writer demon 😵💫
#artist demon is tired#writer demon is relentless#stop coming up with ideas goddammit!!#hellaverse sona#they’re both fujoshi#my doods
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“America has no culture” is an inherently racist statement. Especially when talking about California, which has enormous populations (yes, plural) of Hispanic and Asian immigrants.
It’s such a self report that you see the American hegemony, the American monolith, as a singularly white entity that’s worthy of scorn. I want that person to look at the Black American NYC Miku design and tell me with their full chest that that isn’t culture. Especially when modern pop culture owes so much to Black American culture — hip hop, language, streetwear and fashion, pop music, jazz — as is actively erasing their roots, saying all of America has no culture is a dumbass statement.
Also, “all the US Mikus are dressed in generic casual street style for coolish weather.” The original Brazilian Miku is wearing sunglasses, a crop top, short shorts, a bikini, and flip flops you absolute dunce. If you’re gonna be rude at least be consistent.
#not even to mention indigenous folks#personal#delete later#obligatory I don’t like the us I’m not a patriot#but saying this is like saying us doesn’t have it’s own food#TELL ME you’ve never had soul food without telling me you’ve never had soul food#‘we’re not talking about poc Americans though white Americans have no culture’ does my Miku design look white to you.#I think that account got dusted overnight but if they’re still here I’m not surprised if they make a#qualifying backtracking ‘what I meant was’ statement#hey maybe next time if you have a point to make don’t come out the gate swinging like an asshole and yell big generalizing claims
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snuck in a lil shameless self promo bc im funny & deserve it 🫶
#kept seeing shit that was so them coded#so i had to#possibly more to come#they’re just so fun to make#poolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#dp&w#my best bubs#deadpool x wolverine#wade x logan#wade wilson#logan howlett
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I was talking to a coworker recently and offhandedly said I wasn’t exactly competent at a lot of things. He reared back in obvious visceral disagreement that made me stop midsentence.
“What do you mean you’re not competent?”
“I guess I mean compared to the people I’m surrounded by? I’m not very handy, I guess.”
He looked baffled.
I tried to illuminate with a story. So at the sex shop we needed to vacuum every night, right? But one time after my days off I could tell the carpets hadn’t been vacuumed since I last saw them. I asked the other girls why not. It turned out that the screw that held the handle on the vacuum had been stripped and it wouldn’t stay in. Why was that down to a single screw? Bad design.
So any attempt to vacuum meant the handle just popped off when the screw jumped ship. I looked over the vacuum. I found a junk drawer. I found the biggest screw I could that still fit in the hole wrapped it in tape to bulk it out. Then I shoved/screwed it in place. Then I duct taped the opening so that fucker couldn’t pop out. Voila, a working handle.
The other girls were utterly delighted that I’d fixed the vacuum but I was painfully aware that my solution was neither elegant nor long term.
My coworker listened. Finally he said, “I think being competent just means you have the ability to learn a skill you lack, and you can do that. Your solution worked, and you were the one that tried to fix the problem.”
I digested that and agreed, but admitted any new skill learned would prompt me to be a huge baby about it.
#ramblies#funny#writing#story#I think too there’s so many times I’ve failed basic stuff like- I can’t put air in my tires or change a flat#I can’t use tools to a high degree#and all my friends are total badasses who make stuff and know what they’re doing with their hands#so all my shoestring solutions feel like playtime#but technically I can usually come up with some kind of janky solution
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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
#ra speaks#personal#JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians#obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7#fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background#my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated#by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods#edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.
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As November 5th rapidly approaches I hope Jensen Ackles knows he has the opportunity to be absolutely fucking hilarious
#release the tapes#come on#idc is they’re 140p#it’s the principle of the thing#it’s about justice now#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#jackles#destiel tapes
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life changing field trip in kyoshi island
#id in at text#girls at slumber parties#u know the fact that zuko is the only gaang guy ™️ that hasn’t worn the kyoshi uniform is criminal. rotten. evil.#a slight against me personally#also it does Not rlly come across but. they’re kissing lipstick on zuko#tried and true method 200% how it’s done#trust me#alsoooooourrrrrr for those who know there’s a sequel on twitteeeeeeerrrrrrr#💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋#sokka#suki#zuko#zukki#my art
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Shen Yuan is two things:
1) chronically ill
2) rich rich
He couldn’t count on both hands the number of health scares he’s had, but he fought years to move out of his parents house and live independently!
…. Until he was found half dead by his sister and nearly died in the hospital. No one even knew until she showed up.
The smart thing- the thing his parents want- would be to sell his apartment and move back in so his family can watch him. But frankly, Shen Yuan was reaching the end of his 20s. He didn’t want to be 30 in his parents home being scolded for buying yet another anime figurine and fussed over all hours of the day by nannies.
So, like the adults they were, they compromised. Shen Yuan could live independently IF he put together a complete staff of live in specialists to help him. He had a few months to do so, and all had to be thoroughly background checked.
Which is how he ended up with an old estate filled with specialists who all bore striking resemblances to the cast of Proud Immortal Demon Way.
(SY endears himself over the course of months to the entire modern cast of svsss and collects them to live with him and be generously financially supported. Additionally he finally tracks down the hack author of PIDW and keeps him as well, taking away the financial strain so PIDW can achieve its true potential as art.)
#obv mqf is his doctor#lqg I’m tempted to make personal trainer but it would be funnier if he was hired after lbh broke in and was subsequently collected as well#wqw is tech support for the various machines sy needs to live abd get around#sj and yqy come as a matched set nutritionist and physical therapist#qqq personal trainer!!!!!#I think tlj would need to be dead in this for bingo- sorry kitten whiskers#zzl gardener :3 he’s not part of the medical staff sy just saw a poor young man who needed work and employed him#mf and nyy were the college kids sy used to tutor when he got out more but now they’re unemployed and need a place to stay#mbj was a package deal with airplane- that’s his ‘muse’ apparently 🙄 (boyfriend#svsss#scum villian self saving system#scum villain#shen yuan
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Opening up Tumblr today got me like:
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Full on twst bomb 🤯 (I ain’t complaining tho)
I am LOVING Leona’s new sprite 👀👀👀 He keeps showing his forehead as of late, you know what that means
Still not exactly sure what’s going on in his dream, but OUGH does he look good 🤭
#JP server’s December schedule tho?!?!#they’re really churning out the book 7 updates damn#we’re getting housewarden cater!! and he looks cunty asf!!!#I can’t wait to hopefully see him break down and cry in his groovy!! 😃#and liongarb Deuce I’m-#his biceps 😳#I’m so screwed when all these book 7 ssrs come out on en#they all look so good I want them all ☹️☹️#twst spoilers#twst book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland#twst#twst meme#twst shitpost#leona kingscholar#rook hunt#deuce spade#cater diamond
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I remember that when everything was happening with Noah Schnapp, so many people were saying that ‘he’s a white coloniser!’ ‘he’s clearly European!’ and ‘how are we supposed to think he’s indigenous to the Middle East when he looks like that?!’ They were screaming so much about he couldn’t possibly be from the swana region due to being pale, despite the fact that… wait for it…
Noah Schnapp is a Moroccan Jew.
The exact the same thing happened with Jerry Seinfeld too, despite him being a Syrian Jew.
But what this tells me is that so many American and European leftists fundamentally do not understand what North Africans and Southwest Asians look like. They do not understand that many Middle Eastern groups are pale, many Middle Eastern groups share features with Europeans— I mean, the Middle East literally borders Europe, did you not expect us to have similarities? This stretches back to the ancient world too. We know that in Yehuda there were gingers, as shown by King David*. Iirc, studies on Rameses the second’s remains show that he most likely had an olive tanned complexion and reddish-blondish hair, similar to a European Mediterranean look— which makes total sense seeing as Egypt is literally a Mediterranean country as well
It’s not just Jews. Persians, Kurds, Assyrians, Copts, Amazigh, Arabs from the Arabian Peninsula**, all of these ethnic groups are incredibly diverse in their features, even without any significant genetic influence from other areas. You cannot just project American and European black and white concepts of race onto the Middle East and act as if that is reality. The world is not split into pale people in the north, brown people in the middle, and black people in the south, and if you genuinely believe that then you really need to look at some pictures of the groups that you’re claiming to be the defender of. Please. I’m so tired of this bullshit lol
*I know that the historical evidence for David is shaky at best and we’re not sure if he was real or not (I personally believe it’s a King Arthur sort of situation where there was a real person here that got turned into legend), what I’m trying to say is that if the Ivrim could have a figure like this who was ginger, then the Ivrim clearly had gingers. Nobody come for me please
**not adding other Arabs because there tends to be genetic mixes with other groups, and my point is about how even without distinct genetic markers from each other, middle easterners groups can turn out with a super intense variation in appearance, especially skin tone
#like it’s funny to me when I see Ashkenazim say that they’re pale because that’s the European genetic mixing or whatever#cause like there’s plenty of people on my Iranian Jew side of the family that are pale as shit#my mum’s cousin is half of our Iranian Jewish subculture and half Persian Jewish and she’s light as well#that doesn’t mean they have that much European dna it just means that the Middle East is much more to the north than people expect lol#antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#I could tag this as racism or stuff but I think that would attract Hamasnikim lol#also I think a lot of this twisting into a pretzel on what people in North Africa and Southwest Asia look like#comes from trying to ‘prove’ that Jews aren’t Middle Eastern because apparently we’ve overfilled the maximum ‘swana pale quota’ for them
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Guys, its not some fucking “bad luck devil” or whatever. It’s clearly this fucking time gargler or whatever the fuck that’s behind all this nonsense. Aguefort literally lays it out for us that the quangle makes things happen out of order. Things like, say…Zelda and Gorgug being broken up even though we know from the Seven that they’re still together in Junior year, or Aelwyn suddenly moving out and going from a snarky 19 year old whose never had a job or gone to college to a middle school teacher with 5 cats in the course of 3 months, or the sophomore album being 10 months late even though Fig only finished her debut a little over 16 months ago AND they were in the middle of the tour, or Hallariel and Gilear getting engaged after like a year when 3 months ago Gilear wasn’t even allowed to sleep in her bed, and Sklonda defending one of the organizers of this folk festival when the festival hasn’t even happened yet, or Figs birthday suddenly moving from Christmas to July.
#honestly the fact that we started en media res could even be construed as part of it#that feeling we had of being thrown into something all out of order#like. i think the fact that the team are such good improvisors is being used to hide whats happening from them#they’re so used to yes anding everything that the inconsistencies don’t pop out#anybody interested is welcome to come and join the church of quanglicanism#quanglicanism#time quangle#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fhjy theory
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