#They should've gotten her a therapist

[depressedwetnapkin]

Catherine: I'm twice the man my father was

Townsend: You're not even a man

Catherine: 2 x 0 is still 0

[azurecanary]

Siege of Mandalore is so interesting cause on one hand i don't think I've ever seen a more destructive (self and otherwise) PTSD spiral in such a short span of time than Ahsoka Tano in those episodes; and on the other hand, she laid out Maul, his army, and the 332nd like it was nothing.

PTSD spiral or no, she still gets shit done.

[wordsarelife]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the night of the concert is here. will theo be able to fix everything between him and pixie?

warnings: bit angst, idiots in love, a bit cheesy

note: not really happy with the outcome of this chapter, but whatever..

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

you tried not to think about it too much, but despite everything, saturday did not feel normal. it felt like you were missing something.

after you had ignored his messages, your dad had called you several times. you didn't want to speak to him, but you had to admit that it felt good being wanted by him for once.

you didn't know when he last tried to reach out to you.

you spent your day ignoring the time, staring blindly into your book and reading the same page over and over again. you were tempted, but you didn't open the curtain.

your mind had run in circles after what your mother had said last night.

you had worried that everything she said had just been a temporary state, but today she had gotten up before you to make you breakfast. she had still looked a bit sick, but colour was slowly returning to her face and today the had a meeting with her doctor.

she was trying to find a therapist too. not only for her but also for the both of you. she wanted to repair your relationship and she was slowly becoming her normal self again.

she had been right, if you could forgive her, you would maybe eventually be able to forgive theo too.

the pain and fault that had rested on your shoulder had slowly evaporated into thin air, lifting everything that had made your and theo's relationship hard in the first place.

the doorbell rang at around six and you wondered who it was. your mother was still at the doctor's and your friends were already all at the concert hall. or at least that was what you had thought.

"what are you doing here?" you asked as your eyes fell upon enzo and april. "shouldn't you be there already? it's an hour drive"

"that's all enzo's doing" april rolled her eyes jokingly "you would think for someone that has claimed yours and theo's relationship to be none of his business, he would act like it wasn't, but here we are"

enzo ignored his girlfriend's words completely. "you have to forgive him, y/n" he almost begged "you should've seen how distraught he looked at rehearsals today. he's hating himself for what he did"

"enzo, i really-"

"i'd do anything, y/n" he interrupted "he's not himself without you"

"you should've seen him" april pointed to enzo "i let him drive my car this once and he turns it around in the middle of the street and drives back here. we were also already fourty minutes into the drive!"

you had almost laughed, if enzo hadn't been nearly crying in front of you.

"you're everything to him" enzo continued unfazed. "he has loved you for years! all of us saw it right before our very eyes, even your brother! theo loved you from afar for so long, don't you think you can love him back?"

all colour suddenly disappeared from april's face as realization dawned on her. "repeat that!" she said.

"what?" enzo turned his head at her confused "don't you think you can love him back?" he repeated, but april shook her head.

"i mean what you said before that" enzo and you looked both confused now and she rolled her eyes "theo loved you from afar!"

"what?" you asked, but it looked like enzo had realized what she meant.

"yeah!” he threw a fist into the air and turned around himself, loudly screaming.

"am i being filmed?" you looked around for invisible cameras.

"y/n" april laughed as enzo continued dancing behind her. "you're daisy"

"i'm what?" you asked with a dry laugh. "are you alright?"

"daisy buchanan" enzo said loudly "you're daisy buchanan and theo is jay gatsby"

"no, that's-"

april interrupted you, before you could tell them how crazy all of this sounded. "he loved her from afar" she quoted in a deeper voice, obviously mimicking theo.

as if that wasn't enough enzo chimed in, spotting a high-pitched voice, undoubtly quoting you "then he could've stayed on his fucking side of the lake, instead he threw these gigantic parties, just hoping for one single person to show up. is that what it is to you? having an unhealthy obsession with something that could lead to your death and calling it love?"

"he loved her because she wasn't easy. he loved her because being with her meant not knowing what's to come, because being with her meant to never grow bored" april continued.

"did we read the same book? because i read a book in which a foolish man spends his entire time obsessing over a woman who doesn't love him, atleast not as much as he loves her and later he dies, because he wants to save her and she doesn't even bat an eye, before she goes back to her husband" enzo rattled that down like he had learned text for a whole musical.

april smiled. “that’s why he defended daisy as if his life depended on it. because she is you!”

they both looked at you expectingly.

"i don't know what is weirder about this" you shook your head "that you both can effortlessly quote something theo and i said weeks ago or that you decided enzo should play me. that was the worst girl voice i ever heard, april's mimicking of theo was at least believable"

"that's what you took from this?" april sighed.

"she said we effortlessly quoted them" enzo pointed out "that means she remembers" he tapped a finger to his head.

"wait, you're right" april laughed "oh, you're so smitten!"

"we should really go now" enzo reminded with a look to his phone. "well, are you coming or not?" he asked.

"i don't know, guys"

"as is said before” she pressed “theo was obviously talking about you" april reminded "you're daisy! what's there not to know?!"

enzo seemingly had enough, as he massaged the space between his eyebrows. "why are you and theo always making it so unnecessarily hard? do you love him?"

you smiled "i do"

"do you want to see him?"

"yes"

"then what are you waiting for?!" he took your arm, pulled you out of the house and closed the door. "come on!" then he pushed you and april to the car.

"first he has time to come and get you and now we have to run like someone is chasing us" april muttered under her breath and you giggled.

enzo was really reminding you of a family father right now.

he started to drive just as your arse had hit the seat. you were able to close the door just in time, before it could make contact with the stone wall.

"enzo!" april scolded "that's still my car!"

"hold on tight, woman!" he screamed "we're not going to miss this concert!"

and he was right, because he turned the car as if he was testing at how much speed he could take the turn.

to your surprise, you made it in time, with all your body parts still attached.

"that was—"

"awful!" april interrupted as she opened the door and got out "you're never driving this car again!"

"sorry, sweetheart" enzo was close behind her and you followed suit, unsure if you could come inside without them.

inside the venue, enzo kissed april goodbye before he headed behind the stage. “let’s find a good place to watch them, yeah?” april smiled and you nodded.

you walked through the crowd, not too close to the stage, but good enough.

“hey” a voice said and both you and april turned around. “you’re y/n?” the guy was wearing a headset and clipboard. he looked like he belonged to the venue.

“yeah?” you asked surprised. were you not allowed to be here?

“mr l/n told me to come and get you” the guy explained “he has a vip place on the right side of the stage. he said you both were with him?”

you looked around the people in front of you until your eyes caught the space he was talking about. there was your father, staring right at the stage.

april followed your line of sight. “we don’t have to” she said to you, before she turned her head to the unfamiliar man “we would rather stay here”

“are you sure?” he asked and looked to you expectingly.

“no” you said quickly and were surprised by yourself “we’re coming”

you followed the man through the crowd of people.

“what are you doing?” april muttered, clutching your arm.

“i can’t always run away from difficult feelings”

“okay” she nodded “just give me a sign and i’ll knock him out”

“thank you, april” you smiled “you’re the greatest friend i ever had”

she smiled and you could see how much your compliment flattered her. “i’m glad that you are coming back to normal” she giggled, as she wrapped an arm around your body.

“hey april” your father greeted when you stood in front of him. april said a hesitant hello, before she nudged your arm and told you she would wait for you.

once april had left you alone, both of you didn’t know how to act.

“h-hey” your dad said, before he opted for an awkward side-hug.

“hi dad”

“how have you been?” he pushed a hand through his hair. you could see him struggling, he didn’t know what to say, just how you didn’t know.

you smiled and shrugged. he nodded.

“can we stop doing this?” you finally asked “this feels so forced. we haven’t talked in a year and that’s shit, but we don’t have to ignore it happened, okay?”

“i’m sorry” your dad shook his head “i thought all of this would be easier, but you’re not little anymore and-“

“-i’m not as forgiving as i used to be” you interrupted “what you did and what you said was actual bullshit, dad. you messed everything up and i think you’re responsible that i have such a hard time trusting people”

“peanut” he muttered.

“why didn’t you call?” you asked as tears fell over your cheeks “why didn’t you want to be my dad anymore?”

he couldn’t look you in the eyes. “what happened wasn’t your fault”

“i know”

“yeah, but i made you feel like it was�� he admitted “i said horrible things and i brought you back home like i didn’t want to see you. i was ashamed, i thought you didn’t want to see me after what i had said to you that night”

“i needed my parents. there’s no excuse for you not atleast trying to be there” you shook your head “you could’ve tried” you added, crying.

your father didn’t say anything. he nodded, before he softly touched your shoulder. “i would love to try” he said gently “if you still want me to”

“yeah” you nodded “but i don’t think i can just forgive. it’s gonna need a lot more than a promise from you”

“i know” a tear slipped over his cheek. “i want to make it alright. theo made me realize what i did to you and i’m so ashamed, peanut” he gulped “i just want to be your dad again”

“i want you to be that” you softly hugged him and it felt more normal than before. “but we have to fix a lot for that to happen”

“i know and i will try to make it work again”

“hey, sorry” april leaned around the body of your dad “they are starting now”

you smiled at your dad, before you loosened the hug and all three of you walked further up to the barrier.

“hey guys!” theo said into the microphone “we’re cursed legacy. this is cheap wine!”

you watched him closely, how he gripped the microphone. his voice flew through the speakers, making you shiver. the veins on his necks were more obvious when he came to the chorus, pouring his heart right into your ears.

now you’re dancing along,

to his newest song,

laughing like you did when you were mine,

and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,

on the bottom of your lip,

reminder how it is,

but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

the song ended and you opened your eyes. april was jumping up and down, loudly screaming.

your father smiled impressed. “they’re really good”

“i know” you nodded proudly.

after cheap wine, cursed legacy played eight packs of cigarettes, you get me so high, only angel and neon nights.

before theo could announce the next song, dave fraser entered the stage.

you and april exchanged a confused look, when you noticed theo and dave eagerly discussing something. theo shook his head, more than once, before he sighed.

“and now” dave had grabbed the mic that had been standing next to enzo unused. “make some noise for pixie dream girl”

you clenched your teeth and noticed the look on theo’s face. he looked about as happy as you did.

enzo started playing the chords, blaise and mattheo starting right after him, before finally draco joined.

theo‘s eyes wandered over the crowd, before they finally landed on you.

no, you thought, as you saw the conflict in his eyes. then he did what you had feared. he didn’t start singing.

the band exchanged confused looks, before they repeated the same progression of chords. the crowd hadn’t noticed that theo missed his cue, but they would if he would continue to not move and just stare at you.

“is something wrong?” your father muttered beside you.

you didn’t take your eyes off of theo, but shook your head.

“i’m sorry” theo finally moved and started speaking. the music behind him died down. “i can’t do this” he sent his bandmates a regretful look, before he jumped down from the stage and started making his way through the crowd in the direction of the door.

you started walking at the same time. but not to him.

“y/n?” april called confused.

you walked behind the stage. maybe theo really wanted to throw everything away because he had been an idiot and wrote that dumb song, but you wouldn’t let him.

“hey” you said into the spare microphone, when you entered the stage. the crowd, who had been turned in the other direction as they looked after theo, turned around.

and so did theo.

you could almost hear the sigh of relief that escaped mattheo‘s lips. the rest of the band seemed to be relieved to see you too.

“ehh, i’m pixie” you smiled and you were as confident as if pixie really was your name. “and this is pixie dream girl”

you nodded to enzo, who promptly started playing. after a few seconds of confusion, the rest of the band joined in.

i’m an average girl, with tangled up hair,

my laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than he can bear.

i flutter around, like a clumsy old crow,

leaving chaos behind me, wherever i go

if you had to sing that stupid song, you would at least change the lyrics in a way that was fun.

he‘s pretty average too,

a thorn in my side, believe me it’s true,

he‘s up all night, screaming his songs,

i‘ll stay awake, and sing along!

you could see the smile enter theo‘s face.

the rest of the band seemed pretty impressed by your spontaneous ability to change the lyrics. you could also hear enzo add a few improvised riffs.

you raised your arm, waving for him to come and join you. he walked his way back through the crowd, as you sang the chorus.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she’s enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh in her eyes, she‘s a pixie dream girl.

he entered the stage and his laughter was reaching your ears through the loudness of the crowd and the instruments. you laughed with him.

he smiled to his bandmates, shaking each of their hands as if to apologize, before he walked up behind his own microphone stand, a few feet away from you.

you nodded for him to start the next line. it seemed that he had caught on to your lyric changes.

she's a pixie dream girl, and i get the hype,

she sings in the shower, it‘s just my type.

she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,

but i’m pretty sure i won‘t ever get enough.

you turned your head and smiled at him. he looked so beautiful as he was illuminated by the stage lights. his hair seemed to glow and you felt the sudden need to touch it and push it out of his eyes.

you started singing the pre-chorus.

he's a daring challenge, a relentless test,

but i need him around, never giving me rest.

theo added the last two lines, before the chorus began again.

she'll chatter and flirt, driving me mad,

i'm losing control, it's really too bad.

it was the first time that you guys sang together in a long time. your voices harmonized perfectly and you could see enzo and matt smile at each other when they noticed.

theo smiled his typical smile, the one you grew to despise, but could not love less right now.

you got rid of the pullover you were wearing (deciding that it wasn't the right piece of clothing for a rock concert) and were left in just a top. the stage lights were hot.

you pulled your microphone from it's stand, walking across the stage. draco winked at you when you put the pullover down next to his keyboard stand. you smiled at him, as you started laughing.

you walked back to the microphone stand and continued singing the bridge.

but oh, she turns behind the window glass,

It’s not the first time, but maybe it’s the last

I just hope she’ll never stop her twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

before the instrumental part of the music started, you turned to theo, who was already looking at you. he took a step in your direction. you did the same.

"i'm sorry" he said "about everything, i should never have-"

you weren't even angry anymore. you had already forgiven him everything.

"no" you shook your head "i'm sorry for pushing you away at a time where we both needed each other"

"we both are idiots, huh?" he muttered over the music and you nodded laughing.

the band started playing the same set of chords again, dragging out the instrumental part.

"i love you" theo finally said. his words made your heart flutter. and up here on this warm stage you couldn't have been happier.

"i love you" you replied, the same sincerity in your voice.

theo's smile grew impossibly bigger, before he softly took your face in his hands and connected your lips. the crowd roared. “and the truth is: every song is about you”

you looked up at him with teary eyes at the realization hit you. all those years of yearning for something between you had come to an end. and every song was the soundtrack to your love.

you both turned to theo's microphone as you sang the chorus together.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,

in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,

she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,

oh, in my eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

the last few chords of the song rang out the crowd started cheering. you smiled down on all the people who were before you, before your eyes turned to the barrier, where april and your dad were still standing.

april was holding two thumbs up, while your dad looked a bit confused.

theo outstretched his hand and drew you close to his body. you hugged him tightly and he pressed a kiss on your head.

the crowd was still cheering and you could hear nearing footsteps. a second later, mattheo threw his arms around the both of you. it didn't take long for enzo, blaise and draco to join your group hug.

you laughed loudly as they began jumping around on the stage, loudly celebrating their very first official concert.

you were sure you could not have been happier than in that moment.

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy

additonal note:

this is cursed legacy's debut album. i was supposed to upload this in chapter four, but actually forgot..

leo is the one in the middle. (mattheo mentions it in chapter four)

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🖤💙 4 days until my Surgery 💙🖤

(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 7 below the cut.

Part 1 here

As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏

(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)

Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work 🥰

She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁

(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)

Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.

(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)

I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings 🔥

I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office 🤷‍♀️

(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)

These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them 🦝

Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it 🤷‍♀️ But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).

(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)

Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question 🥰🥰

But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building 🥺🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💕

(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)

Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.

The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.

(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)

So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! 😁✌️

Next Part Here

[allthingsfangirl101]

Baby Mav – Jake Seresin

SPIN OFF OF PREVIOUS NOVEL – BABY MAV (Masterlist to OG story here.)

Summary: This imagine is a slight twist on my Top Gun: Maverick fanfic, "Baby Mav". Maddlyn Mitchell is the daughter of Pete "Maverick" Mitchell. After a horrible accident, Maddy went on medical leave. She only returned to the Top Gun program because her father needed help training the new recruits. While training, Maddy buts heads with Jake "Hangman" Seresin. After not following the rules and ignoring his team, Maddy forces Hangman to fly with her. He continues to ignore her instruction and it ends up causing Maddy to crash. In the crash, she severely broke her back and was paralyzed from the waist down. Maddy has to live her life in a wheelchair and Hangman has to live with the guilt of being the cause of her pain.

~ • ~

Hangman checked the infirmary lobby before quickly heading down the hallway toward Maddy's room.

Maybe it was how he's been treated. Maybe it was the fact that he knew he deserved everything they said to him. He finally forced himself to open her door.

But not before knocking of course.

He took a deep breath before forcing himself to knock.

"Come in."

Maddlyn's breath got caught in her throat when Hangman walked into her room. "What are you doing here?" She asked, making him freeze in the doorway.

"I just. . . I figured you'd. . . I thought maybe we could. . . If you. . ."

"Wow," she scoffed, cutting off his awkward stuttering. "If this is you trying to apologize, you're shit at it."

"I wasn't. . . I mean. . ."

"You can't even admit it," Maddlyn rolled her eyes. "You should just leave."

"Maddlyn, I was trying. . ."

"It's the why that annoys me."

"The why?" Hangman asked.

"Be honest," Maddy sighed, "you're not here because you actually want to apologize to me. You're here because you want to apologize for yourself. You're only apologizing for the sake of your reputation."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you don't care whether I forgive you," she clarified. "You only care that everyone hates you for what you did to me. You are only apologizing so they'll figure it out and become your friends again."

"That's not. . ."

"Don't," she cut him off. "Everyone knows you have an ego the size of Canada. Try shrinking it."

"Maddlyn," he started. Maddy waited for him to continue, but he didn't.

"Please," she sighed, "just go. And come back when you decide to apologize because the only person you want to know that you apologized to is the girl you apologized to."

~ • ~

That was a month ago. He's wanted to try to approach her again and apologize but whenever he gets close to the infirmary, Rooster stops him.

Maddlyn was released from the hospital early that week. Rumor was that she and Maverick moved into a one-story home close to Maddlyn's doctor and physical therapist. Hangman took a shaky breath before walking up to the front door and knocking.

"Hangman," Maverick stuttered when he opened the door. "Umm. . . What can I do for you?"

"Well I. . . I was. . . I wanted to. . . I wanted to see how Maddy was doing," he finally got out.

"Oh," Maverick said under his throat. "That's very. . . sweet of you, Hangman, but we just got back from Maddy's physical therapy. She's taking a nap."

"Okay," Hangman said, wiping his hands on his pants. "Maybe I can come back later?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Lieutenant," Maverick sighed. "Maddy is struggling and the first few months are the most important for her. She needs time."

"I understand," Hangman said. He was about to walk away but stopped. He knew there was something he needed to say to Maverick. He turned back around before he could wimp out. "I'm really sorry about what happened, Captain Phillips. I should've listened to Maddy. If I had, she wouldn't have gotten hurt. I am so sorry, Maverick. I hope, someday, you'll be able to forgive me."

"I appreciate you saying that," Maverick nodded as he shook his hand. Hangman nodded before walking back down the walkway.

"Hangman," Maverick called out, stopping him at the end of the walkway. "Give Mads some time."

* * * * *

Another month later, Hangman tried to visit Maddy again. As he walked to the front door, someone caught his eye. Right at the edge where the pavement meets the sand was Maddy in her wheelchair. He walked over and hesitated for a minute.

"I know I was supposed to have you help me," Maddy sighed, "but I need to get used to moving around on my own, Dad."

"I'm not surprised," Hangman chuckled lightly. Maddy gasped as she looked over her shoulder. Hangman's heart sank when he saw that her gasp caused her pain. He jogged over to her and helped her turn around.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, trying to show she wasn't in any pain.

"I came to apologize to you," he said, kneeling in front of her. "Truly apologize to you. Not just because I want the team to stop being angry with me. I want to apologize to you for you. I'm truly sorry, Maddy. I should've listened to you and followed your orders. I was an idiot. Worse, I acted just like your old team. I never should've treated you like that, Maddlyn. I am so sorry."

"Hangman," she sighed.

"I want to make it up to you," he continued. "I mean it, Maddlyn. I will do anything to make it up to you. I'll help you and Maverick around the house. I'll run errands. Hell, if you wanted me benched from the upcoming mission, fine. Have Maverick bench me."

"I'm not going to do that," Maddy said with a small chuckle. "Thank you."

The two stared at each other for a second before Hangman decided to lighten the tension. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Shouldn't you be at the base?" She smirked.

"Not allowed. I've been suspended for a few weeks," he shrugged. Maddlyn's smirk fell. She was about to say something, but Hangman cut her off. "It's okay. I deserve to be benched for a while."

"I can talk to my dad," Maddy said quickly. "I can get them to lift your suspension. It was an accident."

"Maddy, it's okay," he tried to reassure.

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is," he chuckled.

"I can talk to. . ."

"I don't want you to talk to anyone," Hangman gently cut her off. "I am okay with my two-week suspension. I deserve it."

"Seresin," she stuttered. Her use of his last name and not his call sign made his throat tighten. "I can fix it."

"You don't need to," Hangman whispered. His eyes glanced down at her legs before returning to her eyes. "I can't fix what I did."

Maddy reached over and grabbed his hand. "Now that I think about it, I could use your help with something. Your offer still stands?"

"Of course," he smiled.

"I need to go to my physical therapy appointment, but my dad is stuck on base. Our neighbor was going to make his teenage grandson take me," she paused, Hangman seeing the insecurity in her eyes, "but he couldn't lift a pillow, let alone. . . me. Think you can carry me?"

Hangman tightened his hold on her hand and waited for her to look at him.

"I could easily carry you, Maddy."

* * * * *

After Maddy's physical therapy appointment, Hangman wheeled her out of the office. She got a little nervous as he stopped her wheelchair next to the new car her father bought. He unlocked the car and was about to pick her up but stopped when he saw the look on her face.

"You feeling okay?" Hangman asked her as he knelt beside her.

"I'm fine," she stuttered.

"Maddy," he whispered as he gently lifted her chin so she was looking at him. "Talk to me."

"I'm just worried," she admitted.

"About what?" He asked as he let go of her chin.

"That I'll be too heavy."

"Maddy," Hangman sighed. "I got you out of your wheelchair and into the car. Then I got you out of the car and into your wheelchair. I can get you back into the car."

"I held my weight before," she admitted, her focus on her hands. "But this time. . . I'm tired and can't. . ."

"Hey," he whispered when she let her sentence drop. "I've got you, Maddy. I promise."

He stood back up and opened the passenger side door. He turned back to Maddy to see her still messing with her hands. He walked over and gently grabbed one of her hands. He leaned down and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. He carefully slid his other arm under her knees. He froze when she gasped in pain.

"You okay?" He whispered.

"Yeah," she said shakily. "I'm always a little sore after PT."

"Let's get you home so you can get some sleep," he said as he picked her up from her chair. It felt like his heart skipped a beat when Maddy leaned her head against his chest. He gently put her in the passenger seat and buckled her in.

"I could've done that," she chuckled.

"I know," Hangman shrugged. Maddy laughed when he booped her nose before closing the door and walking to the driver's side.

They drove back to Maddy and Maverick's house with the radio softly playing. About halfway there, Hangman noticed Maddy had fallen asleep. He drove around a little extra to let her sleep. When he finally pulled into their driveway, he gently woke her up.

"Maddy," he whispered. "We're home."

Maddy's eyes fluttered open and the first thing she saw was Hangman's worried face.

"Can I ask you something a little extreme?" She asked, tiredness coming through her voice.

"You can ask me for anything."

Maddy ignored the feeling Hangman's statement gave her. "Instead of putting me in my wheelchair and taking me inside just to pick me back up and put me in bed, can you just carry me straight to my room?"

"Of course," he smiled. He got out, ran to open the front door, and quickly returned to the car. He opened Maddy's car door and she had already unbuckled her seatbelt.

Hangman didn't have to wrap her arm around his shoulders. She instantly did as he leaned down. He slowly and gently slid his arm under her knees and carefully picked her up.

As he carried her inside, he could see her hiding her pain. He walked faster, wanting to give her any kind of relief he could. When they got to her room, he gently laid her down. This time, she didn't bother hiding her pain. Or maybe she didn't have the energy to hide it from him. . .

His eyes constantly studied hers as he helped her get settled in bed. He reached over and moved some hair out of her face, his hand freezing on her cheek.

"Is there anything I can get you?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper. "Some water? A snack? Some. . . pain medication?"

"No," she smiled weakly. "But thank you. I just need a nap."

"You sure?"

Maddy nodded as she whispered, "I'm sure."

"Okay," Hangman sighed, slightly clearing his throat before standing up. He knew he should leave so she could get some sleep, but he didn't want to leave her. "I think I should put my number in your phone."

"Hangman," she sighed.

"Not for that," Hangman said quickly. "I just think that you should have it in case something happens, you know? Your dad is all the way on base and I'm here in town. If something happens, I want you to call me."

Maddy smiled at him as she reached over and grabbed his hand. "Thank you."

"Of course," he smiled back at her. He was about to leave, but Maddy cut him off when he got to the doorway.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"I only know you by Hangman," she said, her face slightly turning pink. "I mean, I know you're Lieutenant Seresin but. . . What's your first name?"

"Jake."

"Thank you, Jake."

Maddlyn using his first name made his heart skip a beat. He smiled at her before gently closing the door behind him. He felt weird as he walked through their house. His eyes stopped and landed on their photo wall. He scanned the pictures, all of Maddy throughout her life. He froze on a picture of Maddy and Maverick by her plane. The guilt suffocated him as he knew she'd never be able to fly again.

And all because of him.

Part 2

[yan-randomfandom]

Hey! I wanted to ask if you could do a platonic peri X female reader? Like reader is his new good kid or something? Do what you want, Love ur stuff byyeee! :D

a/n: my bad its kinda angsty 😭 he made you his therapist,,, slight,, prolly ooc too,, im so off today,, DONT READ THIS STAY AWAY 😭😭😭

💟 ; Peri & Kid!Reader :} no wait :{

"I wish she has her favorite flavor of donut inside that lunchbox!"

Peri lifted his wand, the star glowing brighter as he granted your wish. You grinned, almost mischievously, watching your classmate open her lunch. She's going to be so surprised and happy—!

But you were met with disappointment. She pulled out the donut with no packaging, or even a container at that. It left a mess on her fingers and inside her lunchbox. At this point, it was practically unedible.

"Peri..." you side-eyed him gracefully, your eyes narrowing. He smiled sheepishly in response.

Despite the initial mess, you continued having been lunch with your hopefully permanent friend, yapping about anything that came to mind. Yet, you couldn't help but notice that Peri, disguised as a necklace, was awfully quiet throughout the whole session.

Sure, he was supposed to, but it still felt odd. He usually had a few sassy remarks up his sleeve.

After school, you finally decided to confront him.

"Peri, I'm—"

"I'm so sorry!" he sobbed, a bit dramatically, his arms flailing out. "I don't know what's gotten into me, and I know I'm the world's most godawful godparent—"

You blinked. "Huh? But... you did what I asked you to. I was going to say sorry, and I should've been more specific and told you to give her packaged donuts."

Peri paused, staring at you with a big frown on his face. That face was distracting enough to interrupt you mid-way.

"...Why are you looking at me like that?" you asked, raising a brow.

"You're so different from Dev," he murmured. "Too kind."

Your shoulders slumped. This wasn’t the first time he’d mentioned Dev. In fact, during the first few days, that was all he ever talked about.

"Is that... a bad thing?" you mumbled, looking down.

Peri patted your head, gently ruffling your hair. "You're a good kid. Which is why I'm so surprised you even need a fairy godparent."

His eyes widened at your expression. "No! Of course not, starshine," he floated over to you quickly. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. It's just... he was my first godkid, and we ended on a pretty bad note."

"Seriously," you said, scrunching your nose, "you say that like it's a bad thing."

His eyebrows furrowed. "You don't deserve to feel miserable."

"If anything, you're the miserable one," you snickered, but your smile faltered when he looked genuinely affected.

"...But I'm glad I met you, Peri," you quickly added, softening your words with a smile. "And I'm sure, whoever this Dev kid is, he'd be proud of you."

Peri mustered a crooked smile, thinking about how, if Dev had heard your words, he’d be offended beyond belief.

±

if you think something's wrong w peri then i think you're absolutely rigt

[chaifootsteps]

i should've mentioned it when we were talking about tuca and bertie and them doing things right, but the arc bertie goes through with her SA and reclaiming it thru taboo fantasies is very similar to what ive been through, right down to a therapist opening me up to this new side of sexuality, and while it all happened to me years prior to the arc happening in the show, it broke me out of my anti shipper mentality that gave me this sense of justice and rigid rightness in what i was doing.

just thought now would be a good time to bring it up too because of the allegations against you and how what happened to max is basically the same thing that's happened to me. it's such an uncomfortable feeling to know someone who brought you into this world sees you like that, and having a fictional character similar to that person to self insert with in writing has helped far more then feeling disgusted with myself ever did or has, because i can stop anytime i want, or just get to a point where i move on completely from being able to gain anything from this personally. (which im leaning towards for now,) it's like bertie's therapist said, "because this time, you're in control."

i just wish antis could at least be more open to the idea that maybe, just maybe, shaming victims for coping this way isn't helpful, and that the lack of nuance implies shaming these uncontrollable fantasies (because you can't control your thoughts and like bertie's therapist said, "brains are weird!", although ive also heard the fear and arousal part of your brain is closely related which explains so many kinks to me tbh,) is the only form of healing and getting better, which it never will be. this kind of thing, of re-exploring your trauma thru fiction like this, definitely doesn't help certain people and that needs to be respected, but for anyone it does, they shouldn't just be written off as "normalizing their abuse", because im aware enough to keep this to myself, and to other people like me.

come talk to me about me "romanticizing" horrible things in fiction when you remember vivs shows have millions of views, and THATS why her writing like a fanfic author is bad - not because she inherently is one at heart. a large audience of adults should engage with these heavy topics, (and deserve to have them be written well, even if the stans swear they don't because nuh uh it's Da Best cuz mama viv made it,) not literal children. regardless of this unfortunate demographic that's naturally been formed and then unnaturally encouraged by the creator to line her pockets with their parents money, i think people have a moral obligation to tell a well written story about dark taboo subjects when they have such a large scale of production and connections like this, with some gray area in between, because theres some pieces of media that aren't as big as vivs creations or as small as fanfic writers (compared to other indie creations like video games or shows,) either, like mouthwash, or that one horror game with a sibling incest ending. that's what i mean when i said you aren't gonna make anyone want to fuck a lizard, but that vivs story's spread sentiment that would give 1970s victim blaming, "well, what was she wearing?" arguments a run for their money in how gross they are. i don't think max is gonna make anyone want to fuck their own dad either.

i hope this all makes sense! i think this is the most vulnerable ive ever been in your ask box. thank you for being someone who makes me feel strong enough to talk about this.

No, no, it makes perfect sense! Thanks for sharing your story, Anon...that was an incredibly vulnerable thing to talk about, and it couldn't have been easy.

I don't know if it's due to social media or what, but people have gotten really, really terrible at the concept of "I do my thing that works for me over here, you do your thing that works for you over there, and even though we don't understand each other, we mind our business about it." Like you said, it becomes a different conversation the more widespread and professional your piece of media is -- the same way that feeding 1,000 people a day is different than cooking for yourself -- but when we're talking about you and me and Max and all the randos on AO3? An appropriately tagged piece of work that makes a sharp distinction between fiction and reality is harmless.

What isn't harmless is telling someone that their intensely personal coping method is wrong and shameful and that they're a dangerous, evil person because it makes you uncomfortable, and that they're either a bad survivor or lying about being one.

Here's the scene from Tuca & Bertie, because it's so well done and always relevant.

[realclaramorrow]

wat spoilers (whole thing this time). more thoughts I'm full of thoughts (made better from my emotion blinded previous finished book rant)

ok now that I've had some time to sit and think, I enjoyed the book AND I think it couldve taken a couple more editing rounds. I'm sure none of these are new thoughts. I can't believe in my previous post I was right about everything except my opinion on dalinar.

kaladin telling ishar hes szeth's therapist and then being like man idk either was a clunky joke and really took me out of the moment. "honor is dead but I'll see what I can do" is a good line but also a bit cringeworthy at this point? I think his ending is at first glance what he needs but if you look deeper he's isolated from everyone he's ever loved (except syl) and has to be on the clock as a therapist for 9 people with multiple millenia of trauma 24/7. I'm upset for him. This is not a break.

adolin's situation is also good at a glance but bad long term. just like kaladin and shallan he's completely isolated from his loved ones (except maya). shakadolin was too powerful, they had to be stuck in different dimensions. he never got to forgive his father. maya is basically the only method of communication between free nations. at least he and gawx can be bros? I love the way they won azir. he's possibly continuing the absent kholin father tradition by accident.

shallan is pregnant maybe? I dont like that, I think pregnancy plots are usually stupid and poorly done. hope she can get back to the physical world because giving birth in shadesmar seems bad and dangerous (painspren, no midwife, not much access to food/water, no one she loves to support her). I wish shallan had had more complex thoughts about rlain and renarin because she's smart and while dealing with a great many things I think should've at least briefly thought like "oh god they are going to have such a terrible time in the physical world I need to make it so clear that I am supportive."

I understand that Jasnah was exhausted but the argument for thaylenah felt a tiny bit out of character for her. she's admittedly not great at talking to people and was caught off guard at every turn, but I think previous scenarios showed she could've handled it better, especially with so much on the line.

I can't believe (actually, I very much can) that odium did that to gav. thats so fucked up. and preserving his city's souls in the spiritual realm? absolutely fuck off. his grandchildren are safe but the only kholin grandchild doesn't get to be, directly because of him? this is a 20 year old with almost no real memories of the people that loved him, maybe a few faint ones from age 5 or before. this kid was groomed to be a lamb for slaughter for fifteen years.

I have hope for moash redemption? I imagine kaladin showing up and he's literally a herald (of second chances) and moash (with investiture vision) is like WHY ARE YOU GOD WHAT THE FUCK

the shattered plains got the best ending it could, in my opinion. free listener state!! yes!!

I appreciate that dalinar's death wasnt in combat, but by the strength of the storm. he was a king until the end, and I feel bad that I ragged on him so hard because he immediately started changing for the better. also, claimed by another? I can't tell if that's just death or if thaidakelsier wants him bad or if another god has spoken for him. gotta know. maybe valor?

also, I really need to read the sunlit man. for as much as I love sigzil you'd think I would've gotten around to it already. I also have not read: warbreaker, elantris, the emperor's soul, yumi and the nightmare painter, shadows for silence, sixth of the dusk, or white sand. its not like I wont be busy during these 7 years.

[bogkeep]

okay i Finally. finished wind and truth

first i wanna preface that maybe i should've waited to read/listen to this book until i was in the right mood for it, and until i had some better Quality Audiobook Focus Time (which is usually when i work with clocks at school) instead of scattering it piecemeal throughout my winter break. at least the second half i've been listening to while assembling watches at my practice placement, which has worked very well.

as for the Mood, i just haven't been vibing that much with brandon sanderson's work lately, not because it's Bad or anything, it just hasn't been scratching the right itch. i still feel dismayed with all the worldhopper business and the MCU feel that they invoke in me. i also feel like the last two books have had more of a pathologizing bent to them, bringing contemporary psychology into a high fantasy world in a way that feels Weird. i loved the first three stormlight books so so much and they didn't feel Like That, i think. granted, i also read them for the first time before a kind of. uh. a period in my life that for better or for worse changed who i am as a person, and my tastes in stories might just have Changed.

i think the two first books especially have a much more limited scope, and stayed very close to their worldbuilding, which was a huge draw for me in the first place. but with the introduction of more and more Cosmere Lore and Off-World Characters it has gotten harder for me to keep up and keep invested in the larger plot, like... first we establish a lot of rules and now we insert elements that don't follow the established rules so keep up!! same goes with the modern psychology aspects - inserting concepts from our contemporary culture, particularly concepts that our perception of which changes frequently as we learn more about them, into a world as alien as roshar, just. feels intrusive! obviously i think roshar should have therapists, but it seems incredibly odd to me that nobody on this planet has "invented" therapy in any form for thousands of years. idk. i don't know how to feel about kaladin's therapist arc! thematically, as a synthesis between his medical identity and his military identity, i'd buy it. he's always been inspiring and has experience overcoming bad brain times. but in practice... idk!!! idk. i think angling it explicitly as therapy made it weird to me.

it was similar with shallan's plurality - book three had her accepting her plurality, and book four had this incredible intro with her being open about it, changing her hair color to indicate who was fronting, veil making friends with kaladin and adolin as her own person, i Loved That So Much. but then the book got like, Really medical and clinical about it, like you can tell the author talked to some people for increased accuracy, but it... mh. reducing shallan's alters from their own people to "no we are Purely a coping mechanism who only exist as training wheels to you" made me so sad. like, Thematically i understand why shallan's story is taking the integration route, but it made me so sad to fridge veil over it! like, several characters in these books get arcs centering about accepting their personhood and their right to exist in peace and make their own choices, but veil and radiant Don't Get That because the story hammers in that they're Just coping mechanisms. i would personally much have preferred that for shallan's character development, they relinquish their burdens to her (her Memories and her Violence) and then they could stay and exist and find identities beyond those burdens. maybe that's a radical take but it is my take

ANYWAY sorry that's a lot of lukewarm dismay. here's things i enjoyed:

- ace jasnah !!!! jasnah is ace.

- i really liked kaladin's, dalinar's, szeth's and adolin's arcs !

- genuinely dalinar is an incredibly written character and his arc over all five books is really really good and i think about dalinar moments often. i love that he has changed so much and still finds new ways to change. i can't believe it took like five books for me to go "wait is the way of kings just The Bible. is this an allegory for the bible" and even then i still think it works so so well. like i think his story would rule even if it was just straight up the bible and nohadon is jesus

- kaladin and syl dancing together <33333333

- very happy for renarin and rlain congrats to them

- the more i think about adolin's arc the more i love it. i love that he lost a leg Possibly Permanently. i love that he had a Privilege Revelation in the middle of a life or death fight. i love that he forms bonds with spren without oaths that rules so much

- gavinor as odium's champion was an inspired choice!!!!! i'm sad that he got sidelined so early when things could get soooo juicy

- i am So pleased szeth fired his spren. i am also very pleased that his spren got character development

- oh god when i realised szeth's mental illness arc was moral ocd. yowch (complimentary)

- szeth's story in general... man !!!!!!!

anyway that's what ive got for now. my freshest impressions straight from the oven

[thelaughtercafe]

Sell Your SOUL*

Tea Type:��Coffee

Potential Triggers: Mildly dubious consent for hypnosis

Pairing: Baggs/Reader

Length: 2.7+

Summary: You are a Human who opens an Empath clinic for monster kind; giving them a safe place to let out any emotions they may be feeling. Unlike the clinical and typically detached touch of therapists, you mirrored their emotions back at them, telling them what you felt, gently whenever possible and occasionally harshly if they refused to acknowledge their pain. Alphys finally allows you to meet Baggs, the one you know let them be released in the first place and you find yourself enraptured...he's just as curious about you. Oops. So much for keeping your distance. An interested doctor is a determined one. Hopefully it'll pay off.

After all...

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

It didn't take him long to notice. You tried though.

God, did you try.

You did everything possible to avoid looking at him when he did it. Actually, it was more like you found an excuse to leave altogether the second it began happening.

Becoming friends with monsters was something that came easily to you, being an Empath. Feeling others' pains and helping them through it in any way you could was what you were used to, and loved doing and none needed it more than Monsters when they came to the Surface. While Humans didn’t even consider Empaths real, Monsters had informed you it was actually a well-known and documented form of healing magic that Human’s once possessed long ago. With their help and support you'd even managed to open your own little practice, mainly catering to Monsterkind. Toriel has been the gateway to meeting everyone, but they all had such pain hidden within that you tried to help with. General had been no exception, nor had Undyne, Asgore or Alphys. Alphys...was how you ended up meeting him and experiencing his ability first hand.

-----

Instantly a chill went up your spine. A subconscious warning from your intuition that you should be careful, despite Alphys' introduction.

"Th-This is Baggs! He's really only allowed here for research, a-a-and his home of course, which is w-why you've never met him before on our outings, but t-truth be told, I'd say he spends more time here than home. Always hard at w-work on some e-e-experiment."

Her voice was light and chipper, but you'd come to know her well enough to see the signs of discomfort, the slight tremble of her voice, the stutter that slipped out here and there, and, perhaps most notably, the way she was very carefully avoiding looking Baggs in the eye, despite the skeleton looking directly at her

"I'll l-leave you two to get acquainted and make some tea and snacks alright? I'll be j-j-just in the other room!"

A warning for him and a reassurance for you.

Ouch.

You winced at the literal sting that went to your SOUL, quick and barely there as you pasted on a smile and nodded at her.

"Sure thing, Alph. I'm sure we'll be fine. I'm not worried."

She smiled despite it trembling at the edges and you felt her relax some before she was gone in a swish of fabric.

"not worried? heh. that's cute, for someone who hasn't deigned to meet my gaze yet. scared, little human?"

You weren't sure what you expected his voice to sound like but it certainly wasn't that. Dark, inviting, damn near on the cusp of being outright seductive while somehow still emanating danger.

You shivered and he snickered again.

You swallowed hard, and then you met his gaze, pushing through the shivers you'd just gotten and instead focusing on the pain you felt coming off of him in waves.

"Actually, I was just waiting for you to introduce yourself. I guess I should've gone first though, huh? Sorry. I'm pretty shy on first meetings, the lack of eye contact has to do with that, not because of what you did. If I was scared I wouldn't be here at all."

His expression didn't change but you felt how he was slightly taken aback, then the apprehension and finally the slight twinge of mischievous glee just beneath the surface.

You withdrew your Empathy just a tad. You didn't like going deep into what everyone was feeling without their permission, but you'd accidentally let your guard go up thanks to nervousness.

His eyes were just as pretty as you'd heard. Pink glowed vibrantly from his left eye as he drew closer, smile unflinching.

"you're certainly quite bold for a human. heh heh. or maybe just naive judging by that adorable blush on your cheeks."

You looked away briefly to try and collect yourself, huffing as you realized he was right. You were so focused on feeling your cheeks and calming yourself down you didn't even register your SOUL had been gently pulled from your chest until its purple glow was in front of you.

"hm. that explains it then. but what's-"

His browbones went down in concentration and confusion as he attempted to reach for your SOUL but you were already reacting, swiftly pulling it back into your chest protectively.

"No! I-please. Don't."

His once mildly friendly demeanor had turned to full on mistrust and you could see it from the blue starting to swirl in his left eye socket without any need for your Empathy.

"what are you hiding, little human?"

You merely shook your head, retreating slowly towards the door but you yelped as it abruptly closed without any input that you could see, whirling to see it slam.

You heard a whistle and when you jerked back, Baggs waved the remote with an eerie grin.

Oh, how the tables had turned.

"No offense, sir, but my SOUL isn't any of your business."

His smile widened, yet somehow he only seemed more menacing despite the even, soothing steps he took towards you. They echoed, perfectly in sync and never faltering. His tone sounded genuine but you could feel the underlying condescension and mocking.

"well that's not very nice of you, now is it? i thought you wanted to be friends. i'm merely curious. perhaps i can even help "

You gasped as your back hit the door and he easily caught your chin between his phalanges, and tilted your head to make you look at him, blue and pinknow both swirling evidently in his left eye. his voice was a purr.

"and please, do call me baggs. i much prefer to be referred to with the appropriate amount of reverence when that name is used, and i’ve no doubt you will use it…but not quite yet."

You felt...oddly heavy and the urge to squirm and shiver was palpable. What was happening? You knew you needed to look away, you had to, or else he was going to-

Well, what was the worst he could do? Alphys was just in the other room after all. She'd hear you if anything bad happened. Besides, Baggs was nice. He was handsome. He just wanted to help.

Why were you being so resistant again?

Resistant? Now why would you do that? Baggs was your friend. Don't you confide in your friends?

You searched for something, anything.

Grasped, struggled, for something to lock on to.

Something to feel-

Pure, sadistic, addictive, control

You awoke out of your trance with a gasp violently breaking away from Baggs' grip on your chin before cradling your head, hands shaking, eyes slammed shut and face turned away.

"Don't do that a-again."

You chattered a little, still shivering from the aftershocks of ecstacy forced into you. At least he hadn’t forced you to do anything.

"guess everyone is scared of something after all, hm? pity. i think you're cute when you're all helpless like that, you know. even scared as you are now you're adorable."

Your face lit in flame and the words were the spark you needed to lunge for the door again with a gasp, suddenly recalling the manual switch on the side and nearly bolting out in your haste.

When did you forget? Just how long had he been in your head?

Baggs' alluring laughter followed you all the way to the exit, as did his final words to you.

"see you soon, little human."

-----

Despite your...intense first meeting he hadn't made any effort to antagonize you since when you began seeing him again. He acted as if nothing had happened in fact, merely smiling your way and returning to chatting with Toriel nearby as if you'd had a normal meeting.

Alphys, the only other person who knew vaguely what had happened, as she’d ran out after you, merely sighed.

"A word of advice from someone who's k-known him and worked with him. Don't let him get to you. Or at least, don't let h-h-him know he's g-gotten to you. And...try not to let him do it a-again. It'll just-"

Her voice had quieted conspiratorially with every sentence but she was cut off as familiar bony arms latched around both of your shoulders.

"It'll just what, al?"

His voice was bright but you felt the anger ebbing off him in waves and Alphys abruptly smiled shakily, turning to him in an attempt to not seem afraid.

"you wouldn't happen to be talking about me would ya? haven't ya ever heard-"

"Actually, sounds to me like you misunderstood. You're not interesting enough to warrant talking about Baggs, hate to break it to you. We were talking about a game character. Jeez, are you always so self-centered~?"

Your tone was teasing but your light glare of warning for him trying to frighten Alphys into silence was evident. He didn't seem concerned.

"with a face this handsome? can ya really blame me? anyway, what game? sounds fun."

Alphys was sweating nervously, staring at you wide-eyed but you were quick on your feet.

"Nathan Prescott from Life is Strange. It's choice based, so it's important to not let him know he gets to you or frightens you when he defaces your room in game with a threat. After all, what good is a threat if you don't let yourself be affected by it?"

His eyes lit up then, and you swore you saw his swirl start up, along with the growl that left his lips but Alphys distracted you both by pulling you away.

"Speaking of, I just remembered! We forgot to save! Come on, before Undyne changes the game without realizing!"

You were so proud of her for not stuttering that you missed the swirling eyes following your exit, before he looked down at the object clutched in his digits.

Your phone was held in his grasp, his grin widening as he noticed you didn't have a password.

silly girl.

-----

It didn't take you long to realize your phone was missing, and you told Alphys to go on ahead, and that you'd hang with her later on in the week. Papyrus' car was gone by the time you made it back so he must've gone to drop Toriel and Frisk back home Of course it'd started raining so you were damn near soaked as you knocked.

A few moments later the door opened to a surprised, and then amused Baggs.

"back so soon? told you I was irresistible."

You shook your head, shivering a bit more intensely, making Baggs' eyes immediately scan your body before he grew business-like and moved to walk away.

"come inside, i will make you something warm and then you may take a hot shower. i shall lend you some of my clothes so you do not get sick."

You blinked and then hesitantly entered and nodded, just as you sneezed. Better trust him than get sick right? He was a doctor. He'd been bearable lately; maybe your first meeting had just been a test and you'd passed?

By the time you reached the kitchen he was already setting down a steaming mug in front of you.

"i'll go and get my clothes together. sit tight, and be sure to drink that entirely. it would be a pity if your stubbornness made you ill."

You watched him turn and leave before looking down at the drink in your hands, contemplative. A sip confirmed it was tea, sweet, somehow just as you took it. Paps must've told him about how you always had a mug in your hand. The slight tingle as it went down your throat confirmed it must've been a tea infused with monster magic, which you attributed to be the reason for the extra sweet aftertaste as well. You continued to drink as you let your thoughts take you.

Perhaps General had been right. He'd sensed your nervousness when you'd next seen Baggs while baking cookies with him and had reassured you that his brother was just untrusting of people he didn't know but would warm quickly. Maybe you'd been wrong to be so scared. The propaganda was everywhere; warning of his danger and perhaps you'd taken some of it in subconsciously.

You stifled a yawn and inhaled sharply as when you went to stand and move you swayed; making you grip the table tightly. Familiar fear rushed to the forefront of your mine, one you were used to having around Humans but never with monsters. No. He couldn't have-

"you alright there pet? you're looking a little pale."

His worry was evident and you couldn't help the slight tone of accusation as you sluggishly looked towards him, still not able to move, even as a pleasant shiver shot down your spine at the new nickname..

"What was in that tea?"

He blinked, before a slow smile broke across his face and he casually strode over.

"just a little something to calm you down. the warmth will spread through your system faster if you're calm."

"Why didn't you tell me first then? Or better yet ask? You have to know how this makes you look."

Fuck. Your words were slurring a little, your lips tingling in an almost numb, but not quite way. Everything felt so…hazy.

"how what looks? Giving my shivering friend a warm drink and tucking her into bed, so I know she's safe? it's not as if I drugged you. even small doses of my magic can help soothe. I suppose I overestimated how much you could take, human."

He chuckled, his amusement evident, but you swore you detected worry in his eyes.

"i doubt you can take a shower in this state. come. i'll give you my clothes, leave you to change and then get you settled."

"But- I have to go home."

You tried to protest, struggling to think clearly.

"well, I'm not letting you leave in this state. i'd walk you home if I could but...heh. pretty sure my bro would lose it if i left and he found out later I played hooky. best give in."

You frowned at that, glaring at him as you made to move towards the door.

"Good thing it's not your choice then-"

You were cut off as you were whirled to face him when he grabbed your arm, your equilibrium way off as you struggled to focus on the skeleton in front of you. By the time you realized you were looking directly into his eyes it was too late. That feeling from last time washed over you, blue joining the magenta and spiraling outward. You couldn't deny you felt oddly...safe, and the feeling of his phalanges carding through your hair as you slumped into him was nice.

Baggs is safe, Baggs won't hurt me. Why...am I so tired?

"that's it, good girl. doesn't it feel nicer when you give in?"

Feels...nice. Sleepy. Safe.

You nodded weakly, your filter which would typically make you deny on instinct completely gone. You blushed at your admission and felt Baggs chuckle beside your ear.

"you really do fall quickly for me. how curious. come, let's get you into bed, hm?"

You felt yourself moving and when you all but crumbled into the bed after quickly changing into clothes you didn't bother looking at, you were out like a light to the soothing feeling of bone carding through your hair.

You didn't even hear his parting words before slipping off into unconsciousness.

"what was that you said? what good is a threat if you don't let yourself be affected by it? i think you're right, pet. actions speak louder than words, wasn't that the analogy?"

-----

A/N: There's the first chapter, finally out into the world! So, funnily enough; I've had this fic near done for 2 years now, but just been petrified to publish it for some reason. I think I was panicking over not nailing Baggs as a character well enough, in particular, as well as the way he speaks. Still, I'm glad it's out there now and I can start working on the second chapter- I really hope you all enjoy it!

Please do tell me what you thought; it keeps me writing and motivated as an author!

This fic and also be found at https://archiveofourown.org/works/47766418/chapters/120411676

The amazing (and flustering) Megalosomnia belongs to @megalommi! Please go and shower her in love and adoration <3 This fic would not exist without her!

This is a fic set after Megalosomnia's characters have reached the surface. It's very much non-canon! I don't even believe the creator has brainstormed this portion yet so this is all just me spitballing and having fun with it!

[p4nishers]

few of my aziracrow hcs throughout history:

in the 16th century crowley started the rumor that dead bodies could cure disease just for fun and it got a LITTLE out of hand when the rich actually starting eating that shit. he got a commendation for it and not only was it weird as hell but aziraphale didn't talk to him for at least two decades bc of it so it wasn't worth it

crowley was exclusively fem presenting in the 1970's and tried therapy that decade in hopes of getting her head screwed on right might make her enough for a certain angel. she ended up only going to 3 sessions and wiping her therapists memory of everything

aziraphale joined the army in ww1 as a medic and healed mostly in france till he was called away to an assignment (keep some promising young priest safe and make sure he ascends to sainthood) which took years and the war was over when he got back

crowley was a plague doctor in the 14-15th century bc he was originally supposed to tempt ppl into death but he could never actually bring himself to do it so he ended up lying to hell and healing/comforting people in their last moments of death. got found out eventually by hell and was kept Downstairs for a few decades in the 1400's. the black death and the famines that followed it after is the reason he despises the 14th century so much (also he just hated seeing aziraphale so skinny and so worried)

crowley invented the flat earth theory and the 'sun revolves around the earth' theory. hell gave him several commendations

crowley was on the titanic and has held a grudge against every single body of water ever since

crowley was friends with mary magdalene

crowley was forced (by hell ofc) to marry one of the lords she was tempting in the late 1500s and she did, reluctantly, until she got so tired of his bullshit she was like 'nah fuck this' and ran away. that got her a few decades of paperwork in hell but really, it was worth it. (the whole time aziraphale wrote her letters and was trying to figure out why he felt so heartbroken everytime he thought of crowley being married to another)

crowley helped put out fires in the great fire of london and when hell reprimanded him for it he made some excuses about helping the rebellion rise among the citizens and everyone hated lord bloodworth, even hell, so he reasoned he should've gotten a commendation alone for annoying the man. ALSO he did NOT lift a finger for the St Paul cathedral so they should be happy with him, really! aziraphale was in france at the time, watching Molière's newest comedy, even tho he barely understood a word.

crowley bleached her hair ONCE in the 1980's and immediately regretted it and miracled it away before anyone could see

crowley tempted one of the man working on the first translation of the bible and added spelling mistakes for shits and giggles

crowley would have married aziraphale in rome

aziraphale used to give rides to crowley back when they rode on horses cause horses canonically hate crowley and aziraphale might've been a smug bitch about it but he still liked helping crowley out. (crowley sat there like a block of salt the entire time and did not think of anything but his hands on aziraphale's waist for months after)

somewhere between 1941 and 1967 crowley confessed or TRIED to confess his feelings for aziraphale but was immediately shut down (even tho az felt the same) bc aziraphale was scared that heaven would find out and that crowley would be in danger. they parted on shit terms after and that's the reason they were so tense with each other in 1967 bc there was already a rejection between them

after the flood aziraphale saved every injured animal that he found bc he couldn't bear the thought of 'wasting' god's 'mercy'

crowley wanted to be a highwayman in the late 1700s but they heard it involved horse riding so they settled for being a footpad (travelled and robbed on foot) for a while and aziraphale disapproved, obviously, but he was no snitch

crowley rescued aziraphale from pirates once (aziraphale refused to part w his books and they were just about to execute him before crowley showed up) with a shitty fucking getaway boat and everything. aziraphale kissed his cheek in thank you and crowley promptly fell out of said shitty fucking getaway boat

in the early days crowley tried to convince himself that what he felt for aziraphale was simple jealousy or obsession with what he couldn't have but sometime after job he gave up

crowley invented jesters. aziraphale was a jester for an assignment (looking after a promising king and making sure he ascended to sainthood) and crowley laughed her ass OFF when she saw aziraphale in his little jester outfit. she still brings it up sometimes and aziraphale ignores her everytime

aziraphale kept bees in the 18th century and, following tradition (i kid u not) gossiped to them about crowley in exchange for honey

when crowley learned of what god asked abraham to do with isaac he was like 'oh absolutely fucking NOT' and 'kidnapped' him (politely asked isaac to come with him somewhere safe). aziraphale came to 'demand' him back until crowley explained the situation, after which he hemmed and hawed until he was like 'well... WELL!!' and stayed to 'watch' over them (make flower crowns with isaac)

aziraphale found crowley asleep on noah's ark with her arms warped around every animal she could reach and felt an emotion he wouldn't name for another 3000 years

aziraphale invited himself over to crowley's to celebrate 1999's new years eve and crowley did the littlest tempting they've ever done so aziraphale would hug one of their pillows all night and after he left crowley miracled his scent to never leave the pillow and still sleeps with it every night and pretend they have everything they want

[jaminjims]

「TO MAKE YOU PROUD」

anon request: Hi can you do one but it's not in any of your prompts, but its an eight female member ot7 of course it better if its an ot7 , so can you do where the female reader decided to take online classes but the guys dont know and when its time for her to graduate she tells the boys that theyre going somewhere but doesn't tell them where but when they get there it turns out its her graduation day. Thank you, i just found your account and i love the way you write 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

pairing: bts x f!reader (platonic)

genre: crack!!!, fluff, a tiny bit of angst

warnings: university LOL

words: 2.8k

never let it be said that you didn't like being an idol.

you love how you bring smiles to fans and how your parents talk about you with pride, you especially love the second family you found within your members

you love bts, perhaps more than anything else

although you receive a great amount of love from those around you, the anxiety to live up to those standards accompanies you like a shadow

that brings you to here: your computer light illuminating your face and graham cracker crust on your lips at an hour you should definitely not be up at, staring at one tiny little button that could change your life (you like being dramatic)

now, you have performed on more stages than you can count; given plenty of interviews and have embarrassed yourself a multitude of times in front of millions of people

nothing compares to the nerves you feel as your cursor hovers over the tiny blue button that glares back at you mockingly

'ENROLL'

who knew that one word could be so scary?

never let it be said that you didn't like making people proud, either.

you hit the button and slam your laptop closed, trying not to wake up your groupmates as you muffle a scream into your pillow

you really should've slept like namjoon told you to hours ago

~*~

you were being weird, and the maknaes could practically smell it

on one occasion they actually did. you smelled like you hadn't taken a shower in four days and you definitely looked like it too. was the extended break the company had given bts getting to you?

on your side, you were determined to keep the college classes you signed up for in the degen hours a secret, but damn. your professors made it really hard when they all decided to collectively assign three papers and a test at once

it had been roughly a month since they've started, and you wanted to die

idol training? a piece of cake compared to whatever fresh hell your professors conjured up. did they like torturing you?

what they said in their comments on your past assignments pointed to a boldly printed, neon colored: 'YES'

as you started to drink your fourth coffee of the day, trying to stay coherent enough even though it was only one pm in the afternoon, the maknaes decided to confront you about... whatever has happening to you

jungkook slid inconspicuously into the seat next to you at the dining table and blinked at you with those damn doe eyes

"so... whatcha up too?"

you almost snort your coffee in his face.

jimin, taehyung, and jungkook all look at each other worriedly

"do you need to see a therapist y/n? we know being on break for the first time in a while can be hard, but you really don't look too good." jimin says like the sweetheart he is

before you can reply, a ding from your phone grabs your attention and you look at it only to see the new gut-wrenching comment your writing teacher made on your 'side-effects of the fame of idol life' paper

'i like the enthusiasm, but you almost seem to be invested to the point of being pushy. stop that.'

you whine and slowly lower your head to the table in a dull 'thump'

teahyung sends a text to the group therapist

~*~

it has been about six months since you have started to take online classes, and you like to think that you have gotten marginally better at covering up the lack of sleep and the effect the comments your professors (which honestly, they must be out to get you personally) have on you

your schedule had been resuming as normal starting a few weeks ago and you already missed the blessed days of nothing to worry about except the brutality of college

as you go to put on concealer, you find the bottle suspiciously empty. have the maknaes used your makeup again? (you refuse to believe that you had used the whole bottle that you had only bought two weeks ago)

as you slink into yoongi's room, looking just as tired as you feel, to steal some of his makeup (which will eventually send him into stealing jin's and then from jin to jimin and so on until namjoon has enough and forces you all to get your shit together), he is typing something on his phone with his back to you

"yoongi-ah, i need to makeup"

then he turns around and startles because why do you look like that

yes, why indeed

"you look terrible"

you stare blankly at him and then turn on your heels, "ok, thank you. bye."

he sighs at the ever-persistent pain-in-his-ass that is you and turns you around, genuine worry in his eyes; asking silent questions and giving soft reassurances in case there was anything you needed to get off your chest

you almost tear up because how did you become so lucky

you haven't had your first coffee yet and you get sensitive and squishy when you're tired

once again, you question why you decided to put yourself through this

why do people pay to go through a personalized hell of their own making?

anyways

apparently, you get all broody without sleep as well

you realize you have been staring at yoongi for a few minutes without saying anything, looking like you have no thoughts, head empty

hoseok bursts into the room with all the decorum of a cracked-up butterfly and announces that breakfast is ready

he looks at you and does a double take

"woah."

your forehead meets your palm

yoongi sighs and drags hobi out of the room, "two shots of expresso?"

"add three" you say miserably

another therapist visit you have earned, you realize, as you get the notification that yoongi added it to your calendar

~*~

you skip into dance practice with a beaming smile on your face and practically throw yourself onto hoseok, and because he's hoseok he catches you and twirls you around

for the first time since starting your courses, your excited demeanor isn't caused by enough expresso to kill a small hippo

it's your one-year anniversary! you are halfway there to your degree!

you thank the god that is your mother for forcing you to take all those fancy advanced classes when you were in high school

the urge to actually scream "yippee!" like a cartoon character is surprisingly overwhelming and who are you to deny yourself?

"yippee!"

and because the guys are endlessly supportive, they chime into whatever you're celebrating without even knowing what the hell they are congratulating you for

they have long since gotten used to your strange habits and have learned to play along

i mean, what the hell, right? supporting you in whatever crazed manic episode that has been ongoing for the past 12 months is the least they can do for you

(your therapist said to be supportive)

god decided to give you a call and you answer it without hesitation while still being awkwardly held up by hobi. "hi, mom"

you pat his back to let you down, give him a fist bump, and then leave the room exactly like you came in it

"did she have her mom's contact as god?"

~*~

you, like the past year and half, feel like crying.

it's about that time when you have to start your senior project as an 'accelerated student'

whatever that means

you basically have to come up with a thesis and write a paper on it pertaining to your major, in which usually you would get two years to do

like an idiot, you have six months because you didn't start it when you first started classes

(you would like to see someone else try to balance college and being a world-wide famous idol, okay?)

so, here you are at one am, holding a bottle of apple juice to sooth your inner child, and some flavor blasted goldfish, trying not to cry your eyes out over the blank document that you have been staring at for over ten minutes

you take a deep breath, put your apple juice down, rub you hands together, smack your face, and then force yourself to write down something, anything

'music'

that's how far you get before your phone rings, and because luck is never on your side, you see namjoon's contact who is probably going to tell you to go to bed for the third time

you answer and before he even says anything, your eye's tear up

"joonie..." you whisper, sounding all too much like the sleep deprived child you are

because he is essentially your father, he picks up on it immediately

"y/n-ah," he sighs, because this has become a common occurrence, "what do you need help with?"

"everything," you blubber miserably

so, namjoon stays on the phone with you until four am (even though he is literally down the hall, but he is 'too cozy to move'), helping you come up with a draft thesis statement and introduction you were supposed to turn into your teacher a year ago, and because he is the best person ever! (you change that to his contact) he doesn't ask why you need help writing a thesis, as they know you won't tell them what you've been doing

you both walk into the kitchen the next morning looking, and feeling, like sacks of shit

"uhm." is the eloquent response jimin gives to the look the both of you have on your faces

jin wordlessly hands you both coffee with too much expresso and kisses your foreheads because he is amazing and he hopes it will hold you two together until at least the meeting with the staff is over

you and namjoon's phones go off with a ding! at the same time, and you both have matching therapy appointments

yay! the lunacy is spreading!

~*~

you are in the home stretch

you can smell it, feel it, even fucking taste it

and as you hover over the finally for-the-love-of-god-get-this-paper-out-of-my-fucking-face-thesis submit button, you countdown to yourself like an astronaut about to take off

"three, two, one..." you take a deep breathe, "lift off!" you hit the button

as soon as it says upload complete, you cry tears of joy

victory has never tasted so fucking sweet in your life (although maybe that was the cosmic brownie you had a few minutes ago)

~*~

within the next week, you talk to management about letting the boys attend your graduation ceremony and of course management says yes (they knew you were taking classes, even though you didn't tell them. talk about scary corporate companies knowing your every move)

and when the day arrives when you finally get your diploma, you are more nervous than you've been since your debut

the boys are a big reason why you've decided to pursue your education, and even if they didn't know it, you wouldn't have been able to make it without them

you aren't one to be sentimental, but you kinda want to cry at just how much you feel

you made it. achieved one of your dreams, not only for you, but for them.

you take a deep breath and you let the sense of fulfillment take over your heart and you let it sit there

your phone goes off, and it's the management telling you that the graduation event is ready, and that in kahoots with the online school you attended, they are ready to have the ceremony

"ok boys! time to roll out!" you scream, even though they have all sitting in the living room ready for thirty minutes because you made sure they would be ready by the time you had to go

"y/n, can you please tell us where we are going?" teahyung asks as he links arms with you

"nope!" you chirp, and because you are mean you add, "it's a surprise!"

jungkook comes up to link his other arm in yours, "does this have anything to with how you've been acting for a while?"

damn, he really is the golden maknae

you are suspiciously silent and everyone is suddenly weary of where you are taking them

you weren't going to murder them in a fit of hysteria, right?

but looking at your smiling and blushing face, they all can't help but smile with you and trust

the ride to the venue is only about fifteen minutes and you can't help but be excited and talk animatedly with your members

you almost spill the beans about where you're going but manage to not give too much away (barely, you kind of think the franticness is due to caffeine withdrawal)

before you know it, the eight of you are pulling up into the parking lot and the others look out with perplexed frowns on their faces

you look at them with a smile, "you trust me, yeah?"

they look to you and grin, "always."

you all walk in and when you get inside the venue hallways, you split from the group and manager sejin (just barely) corrals the boys forward without you

you run to get ready and put on your cap and gown, and you have to take another deep breath when you look at yourself in the mirror, because wow. if you knew a graduation gown would look this good you would have graduated college a long time ago

(you only just manage to keep the tears from ruining your makeup)

when the boys enter into a private room and see all of the other people sitting down in the stadium seats, their first thought is that you are holding some sort of surprise concert or something. they honestly don't have any idea what you are going to do, and they joke about how you are going to perform a magic show or some other equally ludicrous event

the lights dim and all of their attention is on the empty chairs sitting in the middle of the auditorium, and then all of a sudden a spotlight shines onto the graduates who walk in from the side entrance

speakers start to blast the school anthem (not that they know that) as the graduates make their way to their seats and boys gasp when they see you on the big screen

"is that-?"

"no fucking way."

"what is she doing?"

because there you are, flashing a peace sign and sticking your tongue out to the camera man who's broadcasting it to the big screen, walking to your designated chair

you will always and forever be a dork

they all laugh incredulously and can't help but have to sit down in shock

none of them can speak as the principal of the school introduces the class of 2023 graduates. he goes through what the school stands for and blah blah blah

when the time finally comes where you have to line up and get your diploma's, namjoon, hoseok, seokjin, and jungkook are crying, yoongi hides his smile behind his hands, and teahyung and jimin has ceased to function as they watch on, barely able to breathe

they all hold their breath as you finally walk up on to the stage and shake the principals hand

"y/n l/n, 2023 graduate with a degree in the arts of music writing and production"

the boys have never cheered so loudly in their life, and you swore you could hear them from your spot up on stage

you smile so big and wide and take a second to stand on the stage and bow, and the boys who weren't crying before definitely are now

its all a blur as you make it off of the stage and ushered into the private room the boys are in. you don't even make it three steps in before you are surrounded on all sides

"i can't believe you did this."

"y/n, you're amazing."

"i knew you weren't just going crazy."

there are voices all around you. some are laughing, some are praising you, all are crying

jin pulls you from the group in a hug that lifts your feet off the floor, "is this why you manhandled me into making you so much food the last few days?"

you laugh and whip at your eyes, "yeah, i wanted to have a good dinner when we got home" he sets you down and pulls you into his side with an arm around your shoulder

"i am so, so proud of you." he whispers into your hair

taehyung comes up on your other side and hugs you around the waist, "we all are"

your eyes tear up and before you know it you are wailing like a baby again

"i love you guys more than anything in the world," you whine out, a blubbering mess

they all smile and make fun of you, and there is nothing that can beat the feeling that wells up in your chest

never let it be said you don't like making people proud

later, a horrendously ugly photo of you crying with the guys all around you is uploaded to all of your social medias and your face is made into a meme, but, hey, you made it out alive, and that's all that mattered

(even if you did have to see a therapist)

[end]

a/n: what better way to jumpscare ya'll with an update other than with crack? but in all seriousness, i am so so so sorry this was so late anon! you've waited literal years, and i would write an ao3-usque excuse but i don't even deserve it ;( as always, i hope you guys have an amazing week, and i love you bunches (please imagine that in a skrunkly old grandma voice) ♡♡♡

masterlist!

request something! (pls, for the love of everything holy, check the request status first!)

[into-the-hellaverse]

Lucifer's Bad Night

HOLD ON, ADAM! HELP IS ON THE WAY!

Thank you all so much for the support! I can't believe all this spawned from a commission. I genuinely thought it would be one and done, "this is all you're getting goodbye" but you guys have all been so kind and supportive! Tysm!

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of rape and abuse

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was...lonely, in the palace. No Lilith, no Charlie, no Adam... The silence was eating him up. It was even worse since Charlie took his pills. She was a smart kid, and figure out something was wrong pretty easily. She knew her father well, and knew he wouldn't get over this whole thing that easily. And it wasn't like he hid them either, so when she found the pills she blew up at him. He could still hear her screams like it was yesterday...

"I thought you were over this! You don't need these!"

"If I take them, then I don't feel like I want to die! I can actually be happy for once! Everything reminds me about what I lost and I can actually forget for once in my miserable life!"

"Fucking Hell, you're worse than Angel! If you wanna be like this, then go do it at your own home! Not in my goddamn hotel!"

"Fine! Go fuck yourself!"

"Right back atchya, you pice of shit good for nothing WASTE OF SPACE FATHER!"

Lucifer had no idea she had that in her, but at least he knew how she really felt now...

He just spent most of his time in bed, scrolling through Adam's Sinstagram again and not bothering to ask Belle for more pills. Talking to her felt like more trouble than what it was worth anyway...

He refreshed Adam's page for five minutes before seeing a new post about last minute tickets. $100 for some nosebleed seats to see Adam live in the Greed Ring... He had to take his chance. He might not get another one. He had to talk to him. Say something. Apologize. Beg for forgiveness. Just anything to try and make this right.

So, he bought a ticket. As soon as he got the confirmation, he just started staring at the clock. He didn't even move from his bed. He just stared at his little red wall clock, occasionally looking at his phone to check the date (and spy on Adam or see if Charlie called him.) 5 days passed, with Lucifer just staring at the clock. He didn't eat. He didn't sleep. He didn't even move until it was time for him to get ready for the concert, and even then he just threw on a white sweatsuit and some sneakers before heading down to Greed. But as soon as he arrived...

"Jesus Christ..." He should've gotten there sooner. He was miles away from the venue and the line seemed to stretch on forever. "There's no way I'm getting in..."

"Yeah! We're gonna be packed like sardines!" Someone said.

"I paid $1000 for this?!"

Lucifer just sighed and stood in the long line. It was moving kinda fast, but he was still super far from the entrance. He pulled out his phone and just stared at the home screen for a while. He shouldn't. She wouldn't answer...

But it wouldn't hurt to try...

He clicked on Charlie's contact and listened to the phone ringing. It rang and rang and rang...

"Hey! You almost reached Charlie Morningstar! Sorry I couldn't take your call, I'm a bit busy right now. Leave a message and I'll call you back! Byeeeeeeeee-" Her goodbye was cut off by the beep.

He sighed softly. "Hey, Charlie... It's your dad.... Again... Look, I'm really sorry about what happened. I wasn't in the right headspace. I really want to fix things between us... Call me back soon... Please..." He pulled the phone away and hung up.

"Kid problems?" One of the people in line asked.

"Yeah..."

"If you need any help, just give me a call, yeah?" They handed him a business card and went back to their conversation.

Lucifer looked down, a little confused, and utterly disgusted when he read the card.

Jaxon Cuck, Family Sex Therapist. Call 1-800-666-FUCK

Lucifer tore the business card up and threw it to the ground. "I'm gonna throw up then kill myself..."

Hours passed in the line, and Lucifer was getting impatient. The line was moving every second, but it felt like it wasn't getting any shorter. He kept bouncing on his feet, looking around and trying to see the entrance. He thought about leaving and giving up every few minutes, but something in his gut told him to stay. He had to see Adam. He didn't have a choice in this.

"Next!"

"Finally!" Lucifer rushed forward and pulled out his phone, showing the security guard the ticket confirmation on his phone.

The bodyguard looked at it briefly and scanned a list before he sighed. "I apologize, Your Majesty, but you're blacklisted. We have to ask you to leave."

Normally, Lucifer would cause a fuss. He'd demand to be let in, even show his horns and wings and start spitting fire. But tonight... He just didn't have the fight.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize," he said, smiling apologetically. "Have a good night." He left the line and sat on a nearby filthy bench. He held his head in his hands and slowly started to cry. $100 dollars, put to waste, all for nothing...

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" A tall imp sat beside, putting their arm around Lucifer's shoulders.

"I just..." He started sobbing heavily and pulled at his hair. "I need to get in tonight! I have to talk to Adam! It's been almost a year! If I don't take this chance, it'll never happen again!"

"Why do you need to see some guy playing a guitar?"

"Because I just have this...bad feeling or something! He's my ex but I don't think everything is ok! I need to talk to him but I'm blacklisted!" Lucifer sobbed and covered his face in shame. He felt pathetic...

"There there, just keep breathing, sweetheart." They patted his back and pulled out a pack of tissues. "You really need to see Adam?"

Lucifer just nodded and said some gibberish.

"Alright..." They tapped on their phone for a minute or two before pulling his up by front of his hoodie and dragging him to the entrance. "Follow me."

"Hey! I was here first!" Someone said.

"Shut up, slut. Hey, Benny," the imp said sweetly.

"Jackie!" The security guard smiled and gave the imp a hug. "Whatcha doing here?"

"I wanted to see the opening set, Cyclone." Jackie pulled out their phone and showed him the ticket.

"Alright, everything's good. Wanna hang after the concert?" Benny asked.

"Sure. If you buy me a drink." Jackie smiled and pulled Lucifer in along with them.

"Jackie-"

"He's with me."

"No, Jackie, he's-"

"With. Me." Jackie glared at them and pulled Lucifer in. "He won't do anything. He's been trying to sleep with me for like, 5 years. He's in too deep to piss me off."

Lucifer wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Thanks, Jackie."

"Anytime." They got into the venue and it was packed like sardines. You could barely move around. "Hope you get to talk to your guy. I'm gonna get wasted." Jackie quickly disappeared in the crowd and Lucifer was left at the front.

"Ok. I got in... Now what?" He said to himself. There had to be a backstage area. He slowly started squeezing through the crowd, taking every opening and slowly going deeper and deeper into the crowd. He'd occasionally pause, standing on his tiptoes and looking around, trying to find some way to get backstage. This seemed hopeless.

Deeper and deeper into the crowd, and every step slowly chipped away at any semblance of faith he had in his half-baked plan. He stopped again and looked around, seeing a service entrance to the backstage. His eyes lit up and he smiled to himself. If he could just sneak back there, he could find Adam's dressing room. But the entrance had two big security guards blocking the way. He had to think of a distraction. Fast.

"Hey, don't shove me!"

"You shoved me first!"

Or maybe he didn't.

A fight quickly broke out and everyone backed away. People took sides, bets were quickly placed, and the security guards rushed over to try and break it up. The crowd parted like the Red Sea to let the guards through, and Lucifer rushed through the gap when no one was looking. For once, he thanked God for making him short.

He ran through the service entrance and tried to look around the dimly lit hallway. He let his feet carry him, taking random twists and turns until he tripped over a cable and planted face first into the floor. He groaned, slowly pushing himself off the ground and noticing a small blood splatter left behind. "Crap..." He winced as he wiped the blood away from his now broken nose and finally got a chance to look around.

This hallway looked different. Good lighting, beige walls, and a lot of doors. Lucifer got to his feet and walked slowly, seeing multiple different names on every door.

"Must be dressing rooms or something. Adam's has to be here..." He picked up the pace, looking frantically down the hallway and trying to find the right room. He groaned at each incorrect name, rushing to the next door and groaning again. He wanted to pull his hair out. Adam's dressing room had to be around her somewhere! Why did he even come her in the first place?! Adam didn't want to see him! This felt hope-

"Yes!" Lucifer ran up to the door of Adam's dressing room and tried to open it. Locked.

"Of course it's fucking locked. Everything else has gone to shit tonight so of course the door is fucking locked." He started looking in the pockets of his sweatsuit, hoping to find something. He usually left a lot of stuff in his pockets and forgot about them. Maybe he left something he could use to pick a lock.

A pen? No.

Old receipts? Definitely not.

Coins? Maybe? No. They could fit into the slit of the lock, but he needed something to jiggle the interns pins.

A gift card? "When did I get this?" He mumbled. He tried shoving it between the door and the door jamb and jiggling the knob. He's seen the work in movies, so I had to work.

...

The movies fucking lied.

"Jesus fucking Christ, do I have anything?" He pulled the gift card out and checked his pockets again, finally finding his saving grace.

"Bobby pin, yes!" He whispered, bending it and shoving it into the lock. He wiggled it around, trying to hit the pins. This had to work.

"Hey, you got those tickets to Mammon's Clown Pagent, right?"

Lucifer froze. The voice sounded far away, but it was getting closer.

"Yeah. Front row, too."

"Seriously?! Those are so hard to get!"

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck..." Lucifer whispered and jiggled the bobby pin around, hoping, begging, praying, pleading this would-

click

"Yes!" He pulled out the bobby pin and rushed into the room, closing and locking it behind him. He stayed there for a moment or two, trying to quietly catch his breath and hope whoever was there didn't see him.

"Do you think Glitz and Glam will be there?"

"Of fucking course, dumbass! They have to defend their titles..."

The voices faded away and he let out a sigh of relief. He reached along the wall and flipped the light switch, looking around the room briefly. A vanity with a lot of makeup (when did Adam start wearing makeup?), a movable clothes rack packed with outfits, couch, coffee table, normal stuff you expect to see in a dressing room. But something caught Lucifer's eye in the corner.

"Eden?" Lucifer went over and picked up the guitar. "Why would he perform without Eden?"

Adam had carried that guitar with him for years, centuries even. She (yes, Eden is a she) used to be lyre, but he modified her over the years to keep up with the times, and she never left his side. He slept with that damn thing.

He put Eden back in the same position he found her in and looked for a place to hide. If Adam just randomly saw him in the room, he'd probably scream for security. He looked back at the clothes rack. Most of the outfits reached the floor, and it was packed to the brim. If he could just squeeze in there...

He pressed his back into the corner and squatted down slightly to make sure he wasn't seen. Perfect.

"Now I just gotta wait..." He pulled out his phone and put it on silent, turning down the volume to mute everything, and played dome mindless games. Wordle, Match 3, Mammonopoly Go, anything to keep his brain occupied for the next 3 or so hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 and half hours. Lucifer ended up having to sit on the floor cause his thighs started to hurt. And now his butt was numb. And his phone was almost dead. And still no sight of Adam.

Lucifer groaned and ran his hands over his face. "Why did I do this...?" He mumbled. "Maybe I should just go home..." But he didn't move an inch. He gut told him to stay. His heart told him something was wrong. His brain knew Adam wasn't ok. There has been signs for months. He had to at least try to speak to him, figure out what the fuck was going on.

He heard the sound of keys outside the door and stood up, squeezing himself into the corner-wallsit again to try and hide. He peeked through the hangers and saw someone enter the room. The brown hair, the tired eyes. It was him. Adam. Finally...

"Great show, Addy!" Oh god, why the fuck was Mammon here?

Mammon slammed the door shut and locked it. "Your fans were practically climbing that stage tuh get tuh ya!

"Uh huh..." Adam just sat at the vanity and pulled out some makeup wipes.

"Why so down, Adam?" Mammon asked, getting closer to him.

"Just exhausted," Adam said, wiping away the layers of foundation and green eyeshadow. Wait, is that a black eye? "You know those shows take a lot out of me."

"Well..." Mammon got closer, wrapping his arms around Adam. "Maybe I could put pep in your step?" His voice sounded low and sultry. Disgusting...

Adam mumbled something Lucifer couldn't hear, and Mammon's smile turned to a scowl. "What?"

"I said, get your hands off of me..." Adam said firmly.

In the blink of an eye, Mammon had Adam pressed against the wall. Lucifer couldn't see him, but from the sound of it, Adam was struggling to breathe.

"Your body and your music is mine. I will do whatever the fuck I want with it. Understand?"

There was silence, except for Adam's struggle.

"Speak!"

"Y-es, Mamm- Mammon..."

"Good boy..." He let go and Adam dropped to the ground, trying to catch his breath. "You have some fans coming back here in 30 minutes. They paid extra to meet your sorry ass. Get them put quick and come back home, 'kay?"

"Yes, Mammon..."

The Sin quickly turned and left, leaving Adam alone in the room to curl up and cry.

Lucifer just stared in shock, his breath caught in his throat. Should he come out? Should he just stay and wait until Adam left? I mean, he was actually right. Something was wrong, and he had to fix it. So, he slowly stepped out and walked towards him.

"Adam-"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Adam backed into the nearest corner.

"Adam! Adam, it's just me!" Luckfer held up his hand and backed up a little bit. "I-I know I'm the last person you want to talk to, but... I just needed to check on you..."

Adam took a few shakey breaths. "Well, congrats. Someone finally beat you for last place..." He said, curling up and looking away.

Lucifer was silent for a bit. "Mammon?"

Adam didn't respond, just looked way as he tried to stop crying.

Lucifer went over and sat beside him, trying to give him some space still. "This isn't the first time he's done it, is it?" He asked, staring at the visible balck eye.

Adam caught his gaze and just silently shook his head. "No..."

"Do you...wanna talk about it? You might feel better if you do..." Lucifer offered.

Adam was silent for what felt like an eternity. Lucifer just looked at him, apologetic and sympathetic. "You don't have to-"

"He started hitting me about 6ish months ago..." Adam said. "He hid it for a while. Played the perfect boyfriend before he trapped me. Then he started to change. He was ruder, he'd say terrible things about me, behind my back amd to my face, he even got me this shitty guitar so I wouldn't have to use Eden. He called her a hunk of junk and tried to throw her away... And when I wanted to leave, he finally showed his true colors..."

"Is that all he did?"

Adam sighed heavily, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled at his clothes. "Sometimes, when he thinks I'm asleep... He touches me in places I...really don't want him to touch..." His voice was shallow and shakey. It was like he couldn't breathe. "And he... He tries to fuck me... If I tell him no, he hits me and does it anyway. And if I say yes... Well, he still does it. But I'm just lying to get it over with..."

Lucifer looked at him, shocked and upset. "Adam..."

"Don't start. There's nothing you can do..."

Lucifer glared softly. "Adam, I am the King of Hell. Mammon has to listen to me. He doesn't have a choice."

"He's twice your size. He'd fold you like a lawn chair and take your throne..."

Lucifer sighed and looked away. He had to choose his next words carefully. "Do you want to leave him?"

"Yes, but-"

"Do you want to leave him?" Lucifer asked again, his voice firm.

"I do, but-"

"Adam." Lucifer cut him off. "It is a simple yes or no question. Do you want out of this relationship?"

"...yes..." Adam sad softly.

"Then I'll do everything in my power to get you out as safely and quietly as possible. As much as I hate him, I do not need him throwing a hissy fit and tearing the Seven Rings to shreds..." He sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair. "I think I already know what to do, but it'll take probably two to three weeks. Can you survive with him for that long?"

"I..." Adam sighed softly. "I'll try..."

"Don't try. Do it."

Adam looked at him and forced a laugh. "Throwing my own words back at me, Morningstar?"

Lucifer just smiled at him, going back to silence.

"You should probably leave soon. Security is usually in her for backstage meet and greets. If they see you, they'll throw you out, King of Hell or not."

Lucifer sighed and stood up. "Yeah, that's smart. Can I see your phone before I leave?"

Adam glared. "Why?"

"Because I wanna give you my number but I need to make it inconspicuous so Mammon doesn't know it's me."

Adam dropped his glare and immediately pulled out his phone, unlocking it and handing it over to Lucifer.

Lucifer briefly scrolled through his contacts list, looking at all the different names. The only two people he had on there were Mammon and his marketing agent. The rest was food delivery numbers. So, Lucifer put his number in under "Other Other Pizza Guy".

"If you need some relief, send an S.O.S, call or text, something so I can help, ok?"

Adam stared at his phone, and for the first time in a long time, he smiled. Not a forced smile like in every Sinstagram post Lucifer saw. He genuinely smiled. "Thanks, Morningstar..."

"Anytime, First Man..."

[lovelycorpseprincess]

I don't post to this blog much anymore bc I'm mostly cutting out social media, but here's an update since some of my kinksters (ily) have shown up from my main kink blog:

tl;Dr: it turns out being traumatized affects your whole life, and you actually can become an orphan multiple times. traumadumping, mostly.

basically right now I'm in a limbo waiting for sitting to change. most things are good right now -- I've been working out everyday for a month and gotten to the stage where I feel wrong if I don't, I'm looking at a couple procedures to get my self confidence up, and my husband is doing great in an insanely difficult academic field with graduation coming up, plus we're looking at finally being able to get pregnant around the start of 2026 and bring a mother is all I've ever wanted. things are looking so good.

but my mental health isn't. and I'm only writing this up because I really only speak to my husband and roommate, and after leaving my primary therapist because he called me a p*do (absolutely zero understanding of paraphilia and the difference between contact/avoidant behavior -- six years and he doesn't seem to know me well enough to know I would kms before I did what was done to me), my DID specialist has been in hospital for 3 months and we're losing our communication bridges between each other.

largely due to stress. and like I said things are really great otherwise! life is finally moving in a direction I've been waiting for for years.

but my traumas are family-based. the root of my DID and hypersexuality is that I was raped repeatedly between 2 and 6. my grandmother knew and covered it up and my mother, who is unmedicated un-therapy-ed ADHD & borderline, ignored every sign. my grandmother is herself terrible, but my mother is beyond unstable and erratic and extremely emotionally immature. telling her about the rape, it becomes a screaming fit about what a bad mother she must have been.

I broke contact for 4 years thinking what was wrong with our relationship was me, and got medicated, got psychotherapy, processed things I had repressed, and came back to her to figure out our relationship. she seemed less volatile, said she'd done mushrooms and healed some of her trauma, that everyone said she was better and we could be friends. what, in fact, she's been doing is treating my stepfather exactly the way she treated me -- always at fault, aggressive, manipulative, controlling. she hasn't improved at all.

we're in a position right now where, when she commented that she'd never hit children and I calmly reminded her that she belted me as a kid, we've exploded into "how dare you accuse me of being an abusive mother" and not being able to even explain because all she knows how to do is scream and deny and not let anyone else speak.

so in the middle of processing the rape, trying to understand that what I repressed for 20 odd years is in fact what's always been wrong with me and why I have a sex addiction, I thought my mom was better and we could heal through it like we should've been allowed to when I was little -- and she's not better at all. it's costing us the stability of our system, and part of why I returned contact is because we're so close to having children and I know she'd want to know her grandchildren, but I'm realizing now that I'm going to have to do what I planned to in the first place: keeping my children away from her, and going back to an orphaned mentality. my stepfather, who's really the only sane one in this situation, will get to know my kids, but she's destroyed their marriage and I'm facing down not only that she's divorcing the person I thought could help her, but that she's going to be resentful in the future because he'll get to know his grandkids and she won't.

so we're coping more than living, but not going anywhere. our major focus right now is our original work on AO3, which I'll pin on my blog so you can find it easy. it's a coping mechanism, so it's all dead dove, but I have a degree in writing, so there's plot and more goodies in it than just porn. oh, and there's a lot of porn in it.

in any case, life is hard and that makes the things you fight for worth it. I hope to be more active soon.

kisses xoxo

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review Double Feature: Smile (2022) and Smile 2 (2024)

Another day, another double feature, this time of a movie that came out a couple of years ago but which I'm just now getting around to seeing and its newly-released sequel. How were they? Read on...

Smile (2022)

Rated R for strong violent content and grisly images, and language

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2024/10/review-double-feature-smile-2022-and.html>

Score: 3 out of 5

Smile is a good movie, but one that I feel like I should've liked a lot more given how much it had been hyped up. It felt bloated in a lot of ways, and while it tried to tell a story about a woman who's never gotten over the childhood trauma caused by her terrible mother, it never gave that story the attention it needed, to the point that its focus in the third act felt almost like it came out of nowhere. That said, it's also a clear-cut example of how rock-solid technical craftsmanship can salvage a movie from an otherwise bad script. It's dripping in atmosphere and mood, it's filled with unsettling imagery and scary moments, it manages to create a feeling that one is slowly going insane, and the cast is excellent, particularly Sosie Bacon as its haunted heroine. It's a movie that other people seem to have liked a lot more than I did, but even with its problems, it was still enjoyable, a film that, even if it never quite manages to capture the depth of the "elevated horror" films it's clearly imitating, still manages to be a scary ride that nails their aesthetics, tone, and frights.

The film starts with Rose Cotter, a therapist at a psychiatric hospital, watching a patient named Laura Weaver freak out in front of her, talking about being stalked by a malevolent entity, before slitting her own throat. The scariest part: after the freakout, Laura suddenly developed a gigantic smile on her face that she held until the moment she died. What's more, Laura, a promising graduate student, had no history of mental health problems until about a week ago when she watched her professor kill himself right in front of her. And now, Rose is suddenly seeing the same entity that Laura described. Doing some digging with her detective ex-boyfriend Joel, Rose finds that Laura was just the latest in a chain of mysterious suicides that, as she soon realizes, are the result of a curse, one that is now coming for her.

Notice how nowhere in that plot description did I mention Rose's mother. The opening scene is a flashback to Rose as a young girl watching her mother, who had been an abusive, mentally ill drug addict, dying of an overdose, and the third act especially tries to bring Rose's relationship with her mother to the forefront of the story. And yet, from my perspective it felt far more minor than the film seemed to think it was. There's a message board I frequent where we have a running joke about a cliché that we've seen come up in a lot of modern horror movies: "TROWmah", the cause of all the protagonists' problems turning out to be trauma buried in their backstories, usually related to their families. There have been a lot of horror movies in the last ten years like The Babadook and Hereditary that have done this kind of drama well, but there are also many lesser films that have fumbled such, and this is one of the latter, feeling like it shoehorned in a traumatic backstory for Rose simply because that's what modern supernatural horror movies do. For much of the film, Rose's mother barely figures into the events. We're told by Laura that the entity stalking her can take the form of anyone, including people who have died, but only towards the end does it take the form of Rose's mother. The final confrontation taking place at Rose's dilapidated childhood home, her metaphorically confronting all of her bottled-up feelings about her mother, was visually exciting but felt unearned as a result.

The worst part is that there was a far better movie sitting right there under the surface, one that could've used the entity as a metaphor for a completely different problem in Rose's life that the first two acts do, in fact, very much establish. We're shown throughout the film that Rose is a workaholic, clocking in 70-hour weeks at the hospital, being nagged by her sister Holly because she's willing to miss her nephew's birthday to work weekends, and slowly driving away her fiancé Trevor and her family. Instead of childhood family trauma, this movie would've worked a lot better if the entity/curse had been a metaphor for Rose's adult trauma, specifically that of an overworked white-collar professional who has sacrificed everything for a career that doesn't love her back, subjecting her to the sight of one of her patients committing suicide right in front of her (which caused the curse to target her in the first place). Even the film's title would've lent itself to such a story, about somebody who has to show up for work every day and put on a happy face for the people whose mental health problems she's trying to heal even though she herself is crumbling inside, the sad kind of phony smile juxtaposed with the scary ones she encounters throughout the film. It's a story that anyone who feels worn down by their job could've related to, especially health care workers whose job description involves occasionally watching people die and having no way to save them (which, in 2022, would've been especially timely), and more importantly, it would've fit what this movie established about Rose a lot better than the story it did tell. When the time came for Rose to exorcise her demons both personal and literal, it shouldn't have been about learning to put her mother behind her even though the film was barely about her mother before then, it should've been about finding some work/life balance. I wonder if there were some major rewrites on this movie, or if it was a consequence of writer/director Parker Finn trying to stretch his 11-minute short film Laura Hasn't Slept out to feature length, because its attempts at exploring Rose's personal problems felt incoherent.

Fortunately, unlike Night Swim, another recent horror movie adapted from a short film, this manages to still be an effective horror movie in spite of itself thanks to Finn proving to be a better director than he is a writer. It's mostly supernatural horror boilerplate, but it's done well, with a mix of tried-and-true jump scares and deeper, more unsettling chills as Rose and the viewer are both thrust into scenarios where something is just wrong and we can't trust anything we see. While its attempts to tie Rose's problems to her childhood trauma fell flat, it did otherwise succeed in putting me in the headspace of somebody who's slowly going mad with nobody to help her, as with the exception of Joel, nearly everybody in her life abandons her in her darkest hour. As a metaphor for mental illness, it was chilling, and Sosie Bacon pulls off an incredible performance as Rose here, one that I can see taking her places in the future as more than just "Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick's daughter." Kyle Gallner, meanwhile, makes for a likable male lead as Joel, the only person who seems to believe Rose even despite their history together as he, in his capacity as a detective, uncovers the truth about what is happening to her. Finally, Rob Morgan only appears in a single scene scene as the one person who managed to beat the curse, at considerable cost to not only his psyche but also his physical circumstances, but his performance, clearly terrified of the entity and everything it represents, was enough on its own to considerably up the stakes for Rose in her journey.

And as for scares, this movie's got 'em. Again, there's not a lot here that's new, but this movie plays the hits well, not just with the obvious jump scares but also with the setup for them. We get moments where we just know that something is watching Rose from just off camera and are eagerly waiting for her to turn around and see it, a scene where Rose is with her therapist (more or less remade from the original short film) that establishes that she's not safe even with people she thinks she can trust, and plenty of other scenes that lend to the film's oppressive atmosphere, in which we feel that we're starting to lose our minds as much as Rose is. Towards the end, when the scares shift to Rose facing the entity head-on, it is represented as a genuinely chilling monster brought to life by some grotesque creature effects. The entity is a hell of a monster, used only sparingly but looking downright horrifying when it does show up. Between the scares, the perpetually gray New Jersey setting, and Rose's slide into what looks like madness, this movie carries a bleak, nihilistic tone all the way to the finish line, and refused to pull its punches.

The Bottom Line

Even with its derivative nature and bad script, Smile demonstrates how a horror movie can succeed purely on the strength of its direction, which manages to make the most of what it's given and deliver an effective little chiller.

----------

And now, for the sequel...

Smile 2 (2024)

Rated R for strong bloody violent content, grisly images, language throughout and drug use

Score: 5 out of 5

Smile 2 is the movie that the first Smile should've been. The scares are bigger, badder, and more effective, the central story is better written and more focused even as it dives much deeper into the idea that we can't trust what we're seeing on screen, the direction is far more stylish, kinetic, and exciting, and it's all anchored by what ought to be a career-making performance by Naomi Scott. The funny thing is, not only was this written and directed by the same guy who did the first movie, Parker Finn, but on the surface the two films hit most of the same story beats, and yet this sequel pulls them off far more effectively. It feels like Finn went back and took a close look at the first movie to see what worked and what didn't, and made a sequel that fixed all of its biggest problems while still keeping everything enjoyable about it, its more glamorous protagonist and setting doing nothing to detract from how raw it felt and in some ways making it feel even more intense. Even though, just from the premise and how the first movie played out, I was able to figure out exactly how this one was gonna end well in advance, that simply had me anticipating something grand rather than feeling like I'd spoiled the movie for myself. It's everything a great horror sequel should be, and a film that will probably make my list of the best films of 2024.

(Also, spoilers for the first Smile. You have been warned.)

The film starts right where its predecessor left off, to the point of opening with a "six days later" tag without any context, as if to say "hey, you've seen the first one, we don't need to tell you what's going on here." Joel, who at the end of the first movie became the new bearer of the curse after a possessed Rose killed herself in front of him, decides to kill two birds with one stone: not only pass on the curse, but pass it on to a genuine scumbag in the form of a murderous drug dealer by killing one of his fellow crooks right in front of him. The whole thing goes horribly wrong and ends with both Joel and the criminal dead, but he did manage to pass on the curse to one Lewis Fregoli, a guy who was at the dealer's place at the time to score some drugs. Lewis is himself a dealer -- and more specifically, the dealer for Skye Riley, a Grammy-winning pop superstar with a long history of substance abuse issues, including a pill addiction that she developed after being badly injured in a car accident that killed her actor boyfriend Paul Hudson and left her with scars and chronic pain ever since. A week later, when Skye goes to Lewis to score some Vicodin, a deranged Lewis kills herself right in front of her and makes her the entity's new target.

Unlike the first film, where the source of Rose's trauma felt like something that was tacked on to the point of becoming an unwelcome distraction, this one always knows exactly what Skye's problems are: addiction and the perils of stardom. Skye's life is miserable behind the scenes, in many ways because she's a rich and famous celebrity. She has a drug problem, she has body image issues, she has to deal with stalkers, her schedule is micromanaged by her momager Elizabeth, her relationship with her fellow celebrity Paul is shown to have been a mutually destructive one before he died, she has to watch her every move lest she face the wrath of a ravenous tabloid press, and the entity preys on all of this. If this movie has an overarching message, it's that fame and fortune are not worth it (with a side of "drugs are bad, m'kay?"), with the entity's torment of Skye framed from start to finish as a classic celebrity meltdown straight out of TMZ or Perez Hilton. She snaps at her mother and her assistants as she suspects the entity lurking everywhere around her, fan meet-and-greets and charity events turn into living nightmares as she veers wildly off-script, her dressing room is trashed, and in the third act, she gets sent to spend a night in a rehab center before her big concert. While Skye's fashions may have been inspired by Lady Gaga, her behavior will be unsettlingly familiar to anybody who remembers the 2000s and how celebrities like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton were covered.

And they found an outstanding talent to convey this meltdown in the form of Naomi Scott. At every step of Skye's journey, I fully bought into Scott as a pop diva on the edge of a complete breakdown, to the point that the film barely even needed to show any supernatural occurrences in order to convey that she was not well. Much like last time, this movie is at its best when it's putting us in the shoes of somebody who feels like she's going insane, and just like Sosie Bacon, it wouldn't have worked without Scott. She had to do a lot of heavy lifting here in terms of acting and emotion, and she made it look easy. What's more, I didn't just buy Scott as a troubled heroine, I bought her as a pop star. Lots of movies about pop music feel as though they were made by people who are clueless about the genre, often settling into tired tropes while the music they have their main characters perform is often insipid garbage that would flop like Katy Perry or Justin Timberlake's last couple of albums if they tried to release it in real life. Here, however, I came away with the impression that, in another life, Scott (who has a background as a singer, including in the Disney Channel movie Lemonade Mouth and in the live-action version of Aladdin) could've become a pop star instead of an actress. There are multiple scenes dedicated just to Skye's music, all of it performed by Scott herself, and it is legitimately good, as are the performances she puts on at multiple points in the film, where she feels like she has the kind of star power that pop careers are made of. This is the kind of larger-than-life performance that makes stars out of actors, and while it's long been a cliché to say that horror never gets recognition from "professional" critics or award shows, I hope to the heavens that this isn't the case here, and that Scott gets some juicy roles after this.

The fact that the film's story was so on point in what it was satirizing and commenting on is all the more remarkable given how much more it leans into the idea that we can't trust what we're seeing on screen. Building on the first film having a protagonist who increasingly could not trust her own senses as the entity caused her to hallucinate, it's strongly hinted that many scenes in this movie, even outside of its more overt horror sequences, are not happening precisely as Skye and the viewers are perceiving them. I don't want to give much more away than that, but I can say that, once it became clear(ish) what was actually happening and what the entity was doing to Skye, I had to reevaluate large chunks of the wild events that took place before then. Amidst all the creeping dread, effective jump scares, shockingly potent gore effects, and the possibility that anybody around Skye might be the entity, this was the part of the film that freaked me out the most. Behind the camera, Parker Finn also shot the hell out of this, taking full advantage of the bigger budget to go wild with far more kinetic and stylish camera work. This was a damn fine-looking movie to watch, making use of long one-shot takes, sweeping shots, horror sequences that felt like the creepiest music videos this side of late-night '90s MTV (especially one bit in Skye's apartment that calls back to a scene of a dance rehearsal earlier in the film), and simply a level of production polish that indicates that everybody involved knew what they were doing and acted accordingly. It all builds to a hell of a climax that I saw coming the moment I learned this movie's premise, but which felt like exactly how it needed to go -- and which set up one hell of a Smile 3.

The Bottom Line

Smile 2 is a dream sequel, a movie that fixes every problem I had with its predecessor, keeps what worked about it, and ultimately winds up as one of the best movies of the year. Not much more to say than that. If you're even remotely in the mood for something scary this Halloween (or, frankly, at any other time of year), this should be near the top of your list of movies to watch.

[wildnymph]

Superbiaamoris aka uniloax - Part 1

@uniloax

Regarding your post https://www.tumblr.com/uniloax/771446770946424832/wildnymph?source=share

You really should look into a thing called "Digital Footprint". Here I'll help you:

Digital footprint - Wikipedia

Your Digital Footprint: What Is It and How Can You Manage It? | Rasmussen University

"Wishing pain on another is what Karma will give you. it is NEVER okay to wish ill on someone else. You don't know me. you don't know me as a person, you know me as a post."

I didn't wish pain on you regarding karma. What I said was "I hope karma gives you want (should've been what) you deserve this new year"

You keep saying I don't know you and I don't know you as a person. Your behavior is a testament to how you are as a person.

I've interacted with you through comments. posts. etc. Your reactions and interactions affect someones judgement of you.

"You say you were trying to get to know me, how is accusing me of horrible behavior getting to know me? you have things mixed up. getting to know someone is asking them questions about themselves. NOT telling them who they are based on a post. Your just mad that I pointed out things."

In the beginning I was trying to ask you questions about your situation. About proof of claims. etc. All you did was share posts you've made and never links to the original posts you commented on. You never provided any context just baseless information.

How does one get to know someone? You can ask them questions OR interact with them. Doesn't matter the interaction. It's how you handle it.

I'm not "accusing" you of anything. I'm telling you how your posts perceive you. Which is a horrible manipulative narcissistic person.

No, I'm not angry because you supposedly "pointed things out".

Here's what I've seen you post and how you react to anyone who doesn't side with you.

You claim harassment and bullying (even with someone actually trying to be your friend)

You call out people in a "settle" manner by stating things as a "general" term, stating that you've gotten numerous messages regarding the topic (when showing zero evidence of that claiming "don't want to call anyone out" - You have the ability to cross out names, delete usernames but you refuse cause it didn't actually happen)

You lash out towards anyone who tries to give you advise and completely ignore said advise (if your therapist told you that what you're doing is unhealthy and should stop view/visiting/commenting about the drama, would you listen to her? my money is no, you wouldn't)

You claim someone else is an art thief just because they use different techniques then you.

You've claimed someone has "something to hide" cause they won't cater to your demands of live streams

your reaction to your KF thread is proof enough that you shouldn't be online at all. especially since you cannot handle any kind of criticism. Regardless of if they are respectful or not.

You feed trolls on the daily basis. In fact if I remember reading correctly, You started a thread yourself asking for an army to attack others. - Interesting.