#They kept talking spoilers except their sources were all wrong and so was their general game knowledge

[kairiaka]

My Thoughts (Warning: Spoilers)

1. ... Here's a fun little liptus test for people:

Anyone who cheered when Maria died-- cut 'em out. Cut 'em out, you don't need them.

Same goes for anyone rooting for the death of Tom.

Speaking of Tom...

2. I knew there was a chance he was going to die when Shadow was introduced in 2 -- I just didn't know how Shadow was going to do it. But when Tom and Sonic are in the old cave at the beginning of the film, my gut started twisting with anxiety.

Thanks goodness he's fine (though it seems that Shadow might of broken his ribs).

That being said, I'm glad it went down the way it did. Shadow seemed genuinely concerned for a moment before doubling down. But because it Walters ...

Speaking of Mr. Olive Garden:

3. He lied.

Walters lied. About everything.

I was already giving him the side-eye after what he did in 2, but this really...

The first two films really get re-contextualized with this new information. (I really don't think he actually invited Sonic to brunch...) What were they planning to do to Sonic (and Tails) after getting them back to headquarters?

He lied. He lied about G.U.N., he lied about Shadow, and he lied about G.U.N.'s involvement in The Incident. It literally took the brothers (w/ Stone and Eggman) going to the base to get a hint what actually went down.

And that wasn't some senile old man forgetting details-- he purposefully painted Shadow as this monster so the boys would fight/"take care of the problem".

Also-- wouldn't surprise me if he's still alive. Probably lied about that too (and making a poor kid-- who he'd captured at his aunt's wedding -- grieve for no reason).

..Still, he did make me laugh. He will be missed.

4. Related to Walter's death(?)-- if the man truly is dead, his colleagues are heartless bastards. They didn't stop to mourn, check for a pulse-- nothing. Just frisked him for the key and made assumptions.

G.U.N. is cold-blooded.

5. Stone is the best (and deserves better than Ivo)

His entrance? Absolutely badass.

Still in loyal/in love with the Doctor? Yes, though he's not as unhinged as in 2. Perhaps he realized he had an unhealthy obsession and took a few steps back, maybe he's going to therapy---

Well, if he wasn't, he probably is now.

(The Livestream though..)

Stone needs a hug.

Also, I think Stone might actually be able to just roam freely now. He's not technically a criminal (one could argue that he was just following the Doctor's orders), and how can you charge a man for harboring a person who doesn't exist?

Does he go back to the Mean Bean? Is he hellbent on making a certain blue hedgehog pay for taking away his family? Is he patiently waiting for Ivo's return, since that man does have a funny way of not dying in incidents that would otherwise be considered fatal?

I don't know.

5. The Base Scene

That was some peak funny-terror. People were yelping, then laughing in the theater.

Good stuff.

7. The Robotnik Siblings

Perfection. No notes. 10/10, Peak Cinema.

... I was a wreck, but loved every second of it.

If we got a spin-off of just them being rascals at the base, I would go feral.

8. Gerald Robotnik

When I was a little kid, I remember watching friends play SA2 (I'm terrible at Sonic games) and Shadow the Hedgehog and wondering what Gerald would have been like if he hadn't been taken out by G.U.N.

... I think this is it.

I know some people who were actually upset at his portrayal, but I think it's accurate.

The man's been festering with grief for the last 50 years. If Shadow isn't okay-- and he was on ice the entire time-- why would you think Gerald would be alright? Plus, he has that quill that's frying his brains -- it's natural, after shocking yourself that many times-- you're a little crazy.

Also, I think he sincerely cared about Shadow at one point. But ...

9.

"Let's face it... You're no Maria."

This was the only time I've felt bad for Ivo Robotnik in this series. That man's heart shattered. And the way he looked at his hands as Gerald continued his rant about no one caring about him... ouch.

10. ...Knuckles is a better warrior than I.

Knuckles is powerful -- he was boasting about it the whole 1st half of the film. But when he stood down... *exhales*

That's strength.

And the thing is: I know he understood what Sonic was going through. He was literally in that position a few months ago. He also knew that he could put the hedgehog in the ground in a heartbeat.

...But he didn't. He let Sonic take the Master Emerald (because-- let's be real: that emerald was unguarded), because he trusted Sonic to make the right choice.

11. Shadow's Taunt

I have to admit: the punch was satisfying and well-deserved. The entire time, Shadow had been aggressive, but he never mocked anyone-- especially someone who he, as far as he knew, had murdered. It was a new low.

But, guys...I think Shadow wanted Sonic to end him. Maybe he thought of it as some sort of divine retribution or something (or maybe he wanted to see Maria again), but the way he pointed to his chest and kept goading Sonic to finish him off...

I don't know, it just broke my heart. Shadow is hurting, and traumatized, and the only person he had left in his family was telling him the world needed to burn. He was tired and wanted it to stop.

(The conversation on the moon made me choke up too. Quality writing right there.)

12. Handling the Trauma

I'm glad it wasn't a contest between the characters. All the kids are traumatized.

I was also worried, going in, that our heroes were going to say "This isn't what Maria -" to Shadow. It wouldn't have been their place to say that, and the Movie Team knows that.

The only person who poses that question is Shadow, and it's to the only other person who knew and loved Maria the best -- Gerald. (Granted, Gerald's hellbent on destroying the world, but still!)

Also, Shadow is written so well here. I knew he wasn't going to be an edgelord (given the history of Sonic Movie Team), but this is the most well-rounded version of Shadow I've seen in canonical media in a while (aside from Generations -- it really was the Year of Shadow last year)

13. The Livestream

I really thought we were going to get a "I've come to make an announcement" reference.

Also, I really want Ivo to be alive-- just so he can apologize to Stone in person.

14. The Wachowski Brothers

I just love this entire sequence. I love these brothers, and I love this family. May they prosper forever.

And

15. Sonic CD Tease

We got two characters for the price of one (also: Shadow is fine -- too many people didn't watch til the end and think he's dead).

Their designs are flawless, and the way the theater screamed at the appearance of Metal-- and even louder for Amy-- I think 4's gonna be fun.

Amy's intro is perfect and I trust the Movie Team to do her justice. Also, it seems like they've added back some of Amy's quills (on her head now-- 7 tufts, like Sonic and Shadow), but she looks like a hedgehog. Her nose is larger and elongated too (at least compared to her in the games). Her Piko-Piko Hammer (and her bracelets) seem tarnished, and her gloves might be slightly torn in spots -- she's been fighting these things for a while now, hasn't she?

But the big question: Who built the Metal Sonics?

I don't it was Stone. I'd like to think that he's not going to seek revenge (mainly because it's not Sonic's fault Ivo's dead).

It might be a rogue G.U.N. agent (there are quite a few of those running about). They've probably collected the quills (and probably the rings lost in Siberia) and made the robots.

Maybe it was Rockwell? ... Nah, she'd never trust a Robotnik design, and she hates the aliens.

On the off-chance, it's Robotnik -- why? Were they an experiment that's gone rogue, or is the doctor still alive and wanting world domination?

I guess we have to wait for 2027.

Sonic 3 is now available for everyone to go see!

Which means I can talk about it freely...

And I have some thoughts.

[scurvgirl]

I found Ansur today and had thoughts. My little cleric has also been having some feelings. I was also thinking it'd be kinda cool for clerics to have Commune in BG3.

For some context: she is half-wood elf and follows Mielikki (did I choose this goddess because of the unicorn? Yes, but that's besides the point) and Astarion is NOT ascended here but Cazador is dealt with. General Act 3 spoiler warnings!

__

Everyone was celebrating the dragon slaying. Everyone, that is, except Mynara.

She kept herself from the revelers, her heart and mind troubled enough to make the festivities feel...misplaced, perhaps. As quietly as she could manage, she slipped out of their rooms within the Elfsong, heading for the rooftop. The sun was just about set and with it she felt some of her energy wane. Part of being a light cleric - she rose and fell with the sun each day.

Footsteps behind her had her spinning 'round -

"Astarion, you surprised me."

"My apologies, darling, but you did leave a party celebrating one of your accomplishments." He was of course stunning in the quickly fading light, even with the downturn of his lips as he looked on her with concern. It was a look she was seeing more and more often now they were in the city.

"What's troubling you?" He asked and damn, she needed to be honest with him. What was the point of having a partner if you couldn't confide in them?

So, she spoke. "All of my training and worship before this taught me that the undead are to be reviled. That they're - you're - abominations and it is a sacred ability of ours to return you death."

Astarion quirked a brow, "Quite the plot if you're going to kill me now."

Mynara rolled her eyes but smiled, "Never, love. What I'm saying is...I think it's wrong, they're wrong. Yes, Cazador was a monster and the world is immeasurably better off without him, no question. But then there's you - who defied all odds and you've done good, Astarion, and you are healing and growing as a person. These are things that...that they said weren't possible to those who weren't truly alive and I think...I'm wondering if undeath is really just unlife."

"Unlife?"

"You're not alive but not dead but you have the ability to learn, to grow, to...live, albeit differently. I think of Thrumbo and his friends who were so wrongly turned into zombies and abused by Carrion, or the seven thousand spawn having a chance and...I think of Ansur, who we just killed."

Astarion watched her as she bit her lip and began to worry at her hands. When she spoke again, her voice was soft, "I don't know if killing him was the right thing and it terrifies me to think that. It terrifies me that I love you so much and that I don't regret freeing the spawn or helping Thrumbo. It terrifies me because...because if they were wrong about this, what else were they wrong about? I love my goddess and my faith and I believe in her but this...I see you in the sunlight and you are radiant. I see Thrumbo getting a chance of life. And I saw Ansur, still righteously fighting against what he thought to be a monster inhabiting his friend and I question."

The pain and worry and indecision mingled together in a frightful storm within her and she couldn't bear to look at Astarion. Not when she talked like this, not when she questioned the source of her power, or the only consistent sense of comfort in her life for more than a decade now.

Larger, paler hands gently took hers. She slowly looked up into her love's red eyes to find...not understanding, not quite softness, but...comfort?

"You are the one good at these pep talk things, but I suppose I will try. Darling, if you wish to break from your faith because you disagree with it, if they have harmed you - then I will stand by you the entire step of the way. But do not sever this for me, or for Thrumbo, or for Ansur - this is about you and your faith. You do not need to sacrifice yourself for me, for anyone."

Damn Astarion and his fucking voice and his words. He was always doing this, pulling her away from the self-sacrificing ledge. It had kept her alive and well, grounded.

She swallowed thickly and turned towards the fading light. There was an old ritual she saw the priest do once...perhaps she needed to not think about what mortals had taught her and commune directly with The Forest Queen herself.

Mynara undid her bracelet of wooden beads, all carved with Her holy symbols, and placed it upon the ground in front of her. She kneeled and began to pray.

A warm, glowing feeling pressed against her like a cat and she smiled. She was here.

"Forest Queen...I want to help the unliving, and I do not think they are inherently evil. I don't wish to purge them from this plane or any other. May...may I remain in your service with this thinking?"

More warmth pressed against her and a gentle breeze rustled her hair like her mother used to when she was a child to convey the feeling of course, little one.

Tears welled in Mynara's eyes, "Thank you. May I use your blessings to help them?" Pressure on her hands, like a kind mother squeezing them - yes.

One more...she had one more...the questions for her were answered but there was one more...She felt Astarion behind her and knew he was listening, knew he wouldn't exactly approve of the question, but when an opportunity presents itself....

"Thank you, my Queen, I forever walk within your Forest. I have one more question...my beloved, Astarion, is a vampire spawn. He is dearer to me than any words I could say. Is...is there way for him to safely walk in the sunlight again without Ascension?"

"Mynara -

The breeze whipped around her hair, leaving her briefly cold...only for the sun's warmth to return to her in the form of a kiss to the forehead. Perhaps there is.

With that, the warmth abated, and Mynara opened eyes she hadn't realized she'd closed. The sun had set, leaving the sky a beautiful shade of indigo. Her face was wet with tears and unmistakable joy filled her heart.

Mynara turned to Astarion, smiling brightly even as he scowled with his arms crossed.

"How many times do I have to tell you -

"There's a way, Astarion, there's a way, and I'm still a cleric and she is...happy with me. Love, for once, for fucking once - it was all good." She was up and pulling him into a tight hug in mere moments.

"Don't get your hopes up, it's probably something awful."

"I will hope enough for the both of us, love." She held onto him tight and smiled and smiled.

She had hope and more importantly she had faith.

[neon-moon-beam]

The “Thank You For Adventuring With Us” image at the end of the first story arc of PLA has been perplexing people for months due to Ingo’s absence. I have some ideas as to why this may be, depending on who made the image and what/how much information they were given.

These are just ideas. Please don’t take them as fact. I shouldn’t have to say this, but I’ve noticed in recent years in general, and then recently regarding PLA, people are not checking the validity of things they read from unofficial sources, as well as things like taking concept art as canon without an official statement as to what, if any of the concept art, made it into the final cut of the game.

Potential spoilers ahead.

Bl*nkshippers dni--I will block you

In-game, the image seems to suggest that Ingo may have gone home before the player, and even before the final story arc of defeating Volo and catching Arceus. However, Ingo is still at the Training Grounds after the first arc. It’s a little odd that he wouldn’t have gone to the Harmony Festival; he’s not anti-social, and he would know how important creating unity between the Diamond and Pearl Clans, and all the people who immigrated to Hisui would be.

It’s also odd that an image with the text “Thank You For Adventuring With Us”, something that suggests a sendoff for the player, would appear before the current end of the game. Several legendaries are locked until Dialga and Palkia have been calmed and captured, and a few more are even locked until Volo has been defeated. There is no way to complete the game by this point. Arceus also never said anything about calming Dialga and Palkia or stopping a guy who’s gone a bit off the deep end with the idea of obtaining ultimate power; just to meet every single Pokemon, then come find it. Personally, I thought it was odd that the credits played and I was given the “Thank You For Adventuring With Us” image when I knew there was more. In other games, the credits usually play after becoming the Champion of the region because most, if not all things after that are technically optional, unless you’re going for 100% completion, and sometimes the credits play a second time, such as when you defeat Red in G/S/C.

Now keep in mind, these are just two ideas I have. They might be wrong. They also rely on it being an artist who was not a developer making the image.

The “Thanks For Adventuring” Image Was Made By An Artist Who Was Not Told Ingo Would Be In The Game

This could suggest the following:

The image was made early in development and he was added later, after most other characters had been solidified (however it doesn’t seem that he was added late in the game)

The artist was never told he would be in there and his omission wasn’t intentional which could also mean...

...Ingo’s inclusion was kept secret from everyone who absolutely did not need to know he’d be in the game, which could mean they really wanted to blindside people with him (except it leaked anyway) or they intend to do more with him

The Artist Was Told Ingo Goes Home

So potentially:

They created the image, thinking it would be used after Arceus had been caught (or if there’s a DLC with a “true ending” coming) and that Ingo would have been sent home by then, but instead the developers decided to put it after the first story arc (despite how confusing that is), or someone accidentally put it at that point when it was intended for after the player catches Arceus; think of how the Isle of Armor DLC has a brief cutscene and a “The End” screen after the final fight with Mustard. They could have intended for the image to be shown after the cutscene where Laventon announces the PokeDex is complete.

The player character is included in the art because why show an ending the player character doesn’t get to see or experience? If Arceus sends them home, they probably stayed for a festival to say goodbye to everyone

Interestingly, people have been talking about him being absent from the image since early on. The content update that came out on Pokemon Day took into account that everyone had noticed Ingo doesn’t react to the player or their Pokemon outside of talking to him and patched that, so they have to be aware that everyone noticed his absence. They could have edited him in the image...but they didn’t. You can view the credits again by talking to a child in Jubilife who will ask you to tell them your “story”, and the image is shown at the end again, so even if you saw if before the content update, you still would have had the opportunity to see an updated image, had they done that. Does this mean it’s a deliberate hint regarding Ingo? Maybe, maybe not. But we can hope.

These are just my ideas/opinions. I really hope we get a DLC that concludes the game favorably.

[veorlian]

sacred rituals

for @kanejweek day 5: love (atypical affection & domesticity)

pairing: Kaz Brekker x Inej Ghafa

rating: T (they're talking about murder)

set a few weeks pre-canon so only minimal spoilers!

read it on ao3 here

Kaz rarely spent time on the main floor of the Slat unless he had to. He didn’t want the Dregs getting the wrong idea; he wasn’t their friend. Kaz Brekker wasn’t anyone’s friend.

Instead, he spent most of the time in his office, when he wasn’t walking the uneven streets of the Barrel. It was quiet, far removed from the raucous laughter and fighting and close quarters that generally filled the Slat. It was mostly warm, and mostly dry. Generally, everyone left him alone, and that was the way he preferred it.

Almost everyone.

The fact of the matter was this: Kaz preferred solitude, but he always kept his window open. Even on cold nights, when the wind chilled to the bone. Nights like this one. It was a kind of standing invitation, although he would never admit that. It was an invitation that was nearly always accepted.

He glanced down at the papers on his desk, and he felt the air shift almost imperceptibly.

“Hello Inej,” Kaz said, not looking up from his ledgers. The Wraith moved silently into the room, tugging down her hood.

“How do you do that?” she asked, not for the first time. His eyes flicked to hers before looking away.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he said. “Now, what did you find?”

She didn’t respond right away. Instead, she shrugged off her cloak and moved closer to the fire, stoking it from where it had burned down. Kaz pointedly did not pay attention to the way the firelight danced along her hair, the graceful movements of her hands as she warmed them.

“I checked every inch of the washroom, and I don’t have the faintest idea how they pulled it off,” Inej said. “It’s more secure than most mercher safes, from what I’ve seen. No trick tiles, no removable mirror, no vents. The only way in or out is the drain pipes, and I doubt anyone’s managed to train rat assassins.”

“If it was possible, I’d have done it by now,” Kaz replied. Inej snorted, and Kaz’s heart stuttered briefly.

“So that rules out rodent killers, then,” she said wryly. “Floor plan?”

“No trap doors, no secret entrances. No way in or out other than the front door.”

“The locked front door,” Inej finished. “You’d have to walk through walls to get in there. Maybe we’re looking for something otherworldly. Ketterdam’s got no shortage of ghosts.”

“None of whom can hold a knife,” he pointed out. “Present company excepted, of course.”

“Got any theories?” she asked.

He shrugged. “A thousand. None likely.”

“Tell me,” she said. She settled down next to the fire and took out her knives, one by one. There were three new ones, he noted. Soon enough he wouldn’t have to worry about her being injured at all — she was effectively wearing chainmail. Not that he spent time worrying that she’d be injured.

Kaz unfurled the floor plan on his desk and motioned for her to come look. Inej only raised a dark eyebrow.

“I’m half-frozen, Kaz. I’m not getting up until I thaw out,” she said.

“I don’t pay you to relax,” he replied, but he moved over to the fire and set the blueprints down between them. Inej leaned forward, tugging the paper towards her. Her eyebrows knitted together as she looked more closely.

“Where were the guards positioned?” she asked.

“Here, and here.” Kaz used a pencil to mark down the locations. “The main event was taking place here, and there were people with a view of the door here, here, and over there.” He sketched out the lines of sight, and made a note of the guard rotation.

“Whoever it was, they certainly didn’t make it easy for us,” she murmured.

"I doubt they had us in mind when they made the plan," he said dryly.

"Do you share your rapier wit with everyone, or am I the only one that has to suffer it?" she asked, not looking up from the blueprints.

“I notice you haven't offered any suggestions," he said. "Giving up already, Wraith?”

Her eyes met his, holding his gaze for a moment. “If I figure it out first, I expect waffles.”

He couldn’t help the wry smile that flickered across his face. “Dream on, Inej.”

She had perfected the art of silence, and she didn’t make a sound as she looked over the blueprints. The only sounds Kaz could hear were the gentle crackle of the fire and muffled fighting in the distance, filtering in through the open window. He looked everywhere in the room except at her.

“Alright,” she said at last. “Venomous snakes.”

He must have heard her wrong. “Venomous snakes?”

“Trained venomous snakes. Send them up through the drain pipes, they bite the victim, and then they’re well on their way before anyone’s the wiser.”

“There were no bites reported by my source,” Kaz said.

“That doesn’t mean there weren’t any. You know the coroners of Ketterdam aren’t renowned for their attention to detail. And if someone paid them to look the other way…” she let the sentence hang in the air a moment.

“Corruption and bribery? Awfully cynical of you,” he drawled. “What ever would your Saints say?”

She scoffed. “Moral posturing? From you?”

“Me? I’m a pillar of the community. Never set a foot wrong in my life,” he said, entirely deadpan. The look on her face was something that he might well treasure for years.

“Do you think I’m right or not?” she asked exasperatedly. Kaz shook his head, running a hand through his uneven hair to hide the small smile on his face. He realized with a jolt that he was having fun. It wasn’t a feeling he was familiar with.

“All the pressure coming down from the top brass on this one, I doubt that kind of detail would be left out,” he said.

“And what’s your brilliant suggestion, Kaz?” she shot back. Good question, he thought.

“Easy. They bribed the guards and re-locked the door on the way out.” As he said it, he knew that it was weak. A rookie tactic, not something you’d pull to assassinate a high-ranking politician.

“Too risky,” Inej said, confirming his own thoughts. “Too many people there, and there’s no guarantee the guards wouldn’t sell them out. Like you said, too much pressure from the top brass.”

“I’m open to other ideas,” he replied, crossing his arms. Inej shrugged.

“Maybe he killed himself?”

“No weapons found. It’s like you’re not taking this seriously.”

“Still better than ‘they bribed all the guards and re-locked the door at a crowded political event,’” she said, in a passable impersonation of his voice.

They tossed ideas back and forth, each more unlikely than the last. Inej cleaned her knives, quietly setting each down next to her. The fire slowly burned down, casting long shadows across his office. At some point, Inej went to grab some food from the kitchen downstairs. She brought a mug of hot, bitter coffee and set it down next to him.

“Why, thank you, Inej,” she said, in that same rough impersonation of his voice. “How considerate of you to enable my caffeine addiction. So thoughtful and kind of you, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Why would I bother thanking you when you do it for me?” Kaz asked dryly. Inej flashed a rude gesture in his direction before tucking into her dinner.

“It has to have been a Grisha,” Kaz said thoughtfully.

“I’m eating, Kaz, wait a minute,” Inej said around a mouthful of food. She looked pointedly at the second plate she’d brought up. “And it wouldn’t do you any harm to eat something other than coffee.”

Kaz narrowed his eyes at her, but he picked up the food all the same. They were quiet for a few minutes. When she’d finished, Inej shut her eyes and leaned back against the wall. There was a pause, long enough that Kaz began to wonder if she’d fallen asleep.

“That’s not how Grisha work,” she said at last.

“We’ve ruled out every other option,” Kaz argued.

“If Nina or Jesper could pull off something like this, we’d know about it,” she replied.

“And they’re the experts?”

“Certainly more than you are.”

“...I suppose.”

Inej raised an eyebrow, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Is Kaz Brekker admitting that I’m right?”

“Don’t push your luck, Wraith,” he warned. Her smile widened, and Kaz felt dizzy looking at her. He focused on his too-bitter coffee instead. He heard her let out a sigh.

“I don’t like this, Kaz,” she murmured. “If there’s someone this dangerous out there, I want to know who they are and what they're after.”

He risked a glance at her. The candlelight haloed her face in a way that bordered on angelic. He wondered — not for the first time — if her hair was as soft as it looked.

“I'm sure we'll find out. Someone with this kind of power won’t stop at one hit. I know I wouldn’t.” His voice was calm, but she was right. Anyone that could walk through walls was a very real threat, if only because they were competition.

“Should I go back to have a second look?” she asked. Kaz shook his head.

“If there was a way to crack this, we would’ve figured it out. The truth will come out sooner or later. This city leaks information like a sieve.”

They wouldn’t learn how it had been done for a few weeks. But by then, of course, they had other things to worry about.

[venomous-ko]

Wine Drunk while watching Godzilla vs Kong

Some major spoilers up ahead!

Mans really just annoyed the shit out of his coworker until he left so he could hack shit, huh?...I love it! 🤣🤣

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You mean to tell me that the explanation for why Godzilla attacked the one tech company site by the dude who studied Kaiju communication and behavior for a living is just, “sometimes people (and creatures) change”???? Like some dumbass justifying a toxic person/relationship??? Like excuse me???? Why are the literal teenagers making more sense than you?????

Also, we’re all in agreement that this facility is either housing Ghidora’s dead head, Mecha Godzilla, or Mecha Ghidora, right?!?

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Lol! “Apex Cybernetics!” That’s not foreshadowing! 🤣

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Apparently, I didn’t get my fill of white nonsense from Falcon and Winter Soldier, bc someone decided to put this blonde-hair-blue-eyed little bitch in charge! That’s not ganna go wrong somehow. 🙃😑👀

Like this bitch literally wanted to send a fucking child into unexplored hollow earth territory without a second thought! 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I was literally like 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 for that entire convo.

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I’m sorry! This conspiracy man just met these teenagers, and his first impulse was, “yeah, theses seem like some good people to break into a tech conglomerate with!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Why are these people surprised Kong knows sign language? These are people who study Kaiju (and presumably other animals in order to draw conclusions about certain behaviors) for a fucking living!!! We have primate species that recognize and communicate in sign language already! Why is this surprising???!?! Like...has NO ONE except this precious child tried this????

Also, nothing bad better happen to this child.

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That ship literally fucked around, and Godzilla let it find out! Lmao!

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Kong: Hey, Godzilla...look at me...

Godzilla: >:[

Kong: ...bitch.

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Precious girl: Thank you, friend 🧏🏽‍♀️

Kong: ☺️😴

THIS GIRL IS TOO PRECIOUS!!!!

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Bitch-ass White Man: How’s Kong with heights?

BITCH, you really ganna try that?!?! You really think you ganna find any aircraft(s) that are ganna be able to support all that weight?? Never mind any other problems with Kong trying to nope the fuck out of that situation and all kind of other hosts of problems!

And if you do somehow have one (or multiple) WHY TF DIDN’T YOU USE THAT BEFORE KNOWING FULL AND WELL YOU RAN THE RISK OF GODZILLA MERCING KONG’S ASS IF YOU TRAVELED VIA SHIP!?!?!?!

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Down the Hell Naw tunnel we go!

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“I think it’s romantic,”

I fucking love Millie Bobbie Brown’s character!! 🤣❤️🤣

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WHY IS THIS TEENAGER SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY OMG!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

“This is page one in the ‘Playing God’ handbook, right?”

I’ve decided I love this character! 🤣

——————————————

WHY YOU GETTING INSIDE THAT THING—Oh god! 😨 Why y’all got eggs!?!? This is like if Weyland-Yutani succeeded in getting Xenomorphs! 😬

——————————————

Oop! Locked in! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE OUT IN MYSTERIOUS ROOMS!!!!

——————————————

Oh shit! Apex Cybernetics think they on that Wakanda shit now!

Also, why was that one Apex Cybernetics bitch bitching about how one of those HEAV crafts could power Vagas for a week if y’all clearly have a whole network or transportation using this tech!

And I never understood how tech companies kept that shit to world domination shit! Build a public transportation system with that shit! Boss man said he likes ideas that make him rich! Pretty sure that would do the trick!

——————————————

WINE BREAK!!!

Saving the rest of the last bottle for coking Gumbo, so gotta open up a new bottle

——————————————

Aw, Kong is so sick of this bullshit! 😂😭

——————————————

“It’s not working”

Bruh! Give it more that two seconds!

——————————————

HOW DARE Y’ALL USE KONG’S LOSS AGAINST HIM!!!! HOW DARE Y’ALL!!!

——————————————

HEAV go Brrrrrrr Shoooooooooooom!!!!

——————————————

LMAO!!! Monarch has their own brand of bottled water!?!?! Idk why that amuses me so much!

——————————————

This hallow earth portal thing is some Pacific Rim bullshit right here, lol!

——————————————

NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

——————————————

Are we...are we really Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaur-ing this shit rn??? 😂😂😂

——————————————

“It’s beautiful,”

Of course it’s beautiful! No hoomins have touched it! Lol

——————————————

Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN DRAGONS IN THIS BITCH!?!?!?!!! 8D YO!!! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!

——————————————

*marvels at the creature creation ideas*

——————————————

Kong’s first thought: *nom the dragon guts*

——————————————

THE ROCK HAND OMG IM GANNA CRY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s the same gesture the Precious Girl did OMG!!!!

——————————————

“We going in?”

“Yeah”

The BALLS on this child!

——————————————

“AAAAHH 😐”

*fear*

LMAO!!!!! I’M FUCKIN WHEEZING!!!

——————————————

“Sacrifice Pit”

OMG 🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

I KNEW IT!!!! MECHA-GODZILLA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! 8DDDDD

——————————————

YO PACIFIC RIM RAN SO MECHA-GODZILLA COULD FUCKIN SPRINT!!!!!!!!

——————————————

YO IT’S A GOOD THING I AIN’T SEEING THIS IN THEATERS BC I’D BE FLIPPING MY SHIT!!!!

——————————————

“Humanity, once again, will be the apex species,”

THERE it is!

——————————————

Why Mecha-Godzilla so skeeny?!? He need ta be thicc if he ganna take down REAL Godzilla!

——————————————

*Ryan Bergera conspiracy voice* Is this the real reason Kong was contained!? So this douche could snatch up Skull Crawlers without Kong intervention???

——————————————

OH SHIT!!! I think this thing is emitting alpha waves (or whatever we’re calling it) and THAT’s what set Godzilla off!!! He fought Ghidorah, heard this shit and went, “Nu-uh, bitch! NOT AGAIN!!!”

——————————————

Monarch dude: Yo, Godzilla’s headed to Hong Kong for some reason?

FUCKIN CALLED IT!!!

——————————————

This look like the door to fuckin General Grievous’s lair,da fuq?!? 🤣🤣🤣

 ——————————————

I got waaay too emotional over that handprint, y’all! 😭😭😭

——————————————

Y’all, the fucking art history major in me is fuckin screaming at this temple scene! The fact that some of these Kaiju not only had the urge and drive and capacity to build a fucking temple around this power source or some shit and create weapons like the axe that Kong just fucking Excalibured the shit out of that one skull crawler’s skull fucking implies the fact that there is intelligent civilization amongst these fucking Kaiju and all that shit! I want to know more about this shit! Take that you fucking racist-ass white historian motherfuckers!

(Note: I definitely needed to use talk to text for much of this bit, because there was no way I was going to be able to contain all my excitement in just typing, alone, lmao)

——————————————

BRUH!!! Why y’all exiting g the HEAV without no breathing apparatus or lead suits or nothing!?!?! In previous movies, y’all implied that these Kaiju lived in environments in which their environments were hella radioactive compared to our own!!!

——————————————

Kong is s the true heir to the iron throne, Lmao!

——————————————

FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! THEY HAD GHIDORA’S REMAINS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!

——————————————

OH FUCK!!!! Y’ALL AINT JUST SENDING OUT ALPHA VIBES WITH YOUR MECHA-GODZILLA!!!! YOU SOMEHOW USING GHIDORA’S HIVE MIND OR TELEPATHY SHIT TO DO IT!?!?!?! AAAWWWWW SHEEEEEET!!! Y’ALL ARE BONED NOW!!!! FUCKIN BONEROWNED!!!!

——————————————

Godzilla! My bruh! My dude! You didn’t HAVE TO get up right where that bridge was!!! 😂😂 Ya douche bag!!!

——————————————

At the same time, tho, I can just hear him going, “Ah! FUCK! NOT AGAIN!!! Sunova bitch!! Motherfuckin!! STOP BUILDING sHIT SO DAMN HIGH!!! Goddammit!”

——————————————

You know, with all the Bright twinkly lights in Hong Kong, I can’t help but think of the sequel to the original Gojira movie ( that I can’t remember the title of ,rn) where he was fucking triggered by fucking lights. And I wonder if this little scene where he’s stomping all through Hong Kong is a tribute to that or whatever. But I’m probably overthinking it.

[Sober Edit: it was Godzilla Raids Again]

——————————————

*GASP* HOLY SIHIIIT!!! The axe is made out of Godzilla skute!?!?! GOLY BALLS THAT’S NOT ONLY COOL BUT CONTRIBUTES MORE TO THE FACT THAT THESE KAIJU (likely Kong’s species, in particular) WERE REALLY FUCKING INTELLIGENT AMD TJOUGHT, “Imma beat this muthafucka with their own spiky thing! Bc that’s what screws us over, so, why WOULD’nt it hurt them!?!” I need SO MUCH MORE of this Kaiju/Kong culture studied and shit! HOLY FUCK!!!

It even fucking glows!! Like ... they managed to fucking piece together that its glow was a fucking warning sign like Sting or some shit!!!! Holy fuck!!!!

Also, how does that work? How are the skutes still connected even after dismemberment???

 ——————————————

NO FUCKIN WAY WRE YOU—AAAAAAAAHHH!!! Excalibur that shit my boi!!!!

——————————————

I FUCKIN LOVE YHIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT!!!

——————————————

“ that’s Apex property now,”

Excuse me bitch! Are we really not gonna listen to the scientist who saying “hey we don’t understand the shit out of this fucking power! Maybe we should hold off on taking some fucking samples!”

Are we really just gonna ignore that shit???????

 ——————————————

Kong said: TRY ME BITCH!!!!

——————————————

Oh thank the GODS this Serizawa dude is taking precautions like his old man! Also, what is his relation to Ken Watanabe’s Serizawa!?!?!

——————————————

UH OH!! SOLDIER DUDES GETTIN ATE!!!

——————————————

OH SHIT!!! PILOT JUST GOT ATE!!! FUCKIN DRAGON BASEMENT UP IN THIS SHIT!!!

——————————————

BITCH YOU REALLY GON THROW A ROCK AT IT!!! FUCKIN NONSENSE OF THIS BITCH!!!

——————————————

LOVE AND FITE ME ENERGY IS STORED IN THE ATOMIC BREATH

——————————————

“Shoot him!”

WHY!!!???!! He literally had NO problem with you before then!!!

——————————————

Why does white man who don’t know anything about this vehicle suddenly know how to pilot this shit!???!?!!!!!

 ——————————————

Y’all love had SO MUCH wine!

——————————————

The FUCK this dude got a flip flop phone for!!!?!????!!!?

Da fuq!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yeah that’s the most unrealistic part of this entire fucking movie! Not the fuckin Kaiju robots. Not the fucking hollow earth bullshit! The fucking flip phone! LMFAO!!!!

——————————————

“Maintenance! I’M MAINTENANCE!!! This bitch ain’t buying it”

That made me laugh WAY FUCKIN harder that it should have!!!!

——————————————

Y’all really ganna try to shoot at a kid!?! REALLY!?!?!??!

——————————————

GAWD, I’m so glad I impulse bought these oatmeal bites from Dominos! 🤤😋

[Sober Edit: I have no idea how my autocorrect managed to convert “Parmesan” to “oatmeal,” but okay! 😆😅]

——————————————

Kong be like, “Hey, bitch!!! You lookin’ for me!?!?”

——————————————

Find you a partner that bites your neck like Godzilla does! Lmao!

Sorry, I’ll be crawling back into my hell hole, now.

——————————————

EAT YOUR FOOKIN VEGETABLES GODZILLA!!!!!

——————————————

Did Godzilla just axe throw with his fuckin teefs!!!????!?!?!

——————————————

THIS IS THE FOOKIN MONSTER VS MONSTER FIGHTS IVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE KING OF THE MONSTERS HOLY SHIT!!!!

——————————————

“Really? Groupies, again?”

First of all, again!?! What happened last time???

Secondly, where tf are YOUR grpupies, asshole! No need to judge! Ya cunt!

——————————————

“There can only be one alpha,”

Really! You really gotta bring your toxic masculinity into a fuckin monster fight, my dude!?!

——————————————

Kong said, “Yeet! YEET SELF!!!”

——————————————

I am living for the feral fight scenes!!!!

——————————————

Kong’s expression , tho! 🤣🤣🤣

Like, “Can you ducking NOT, Godzilla?!? Can you, like, fucking chill??!!? Aight, fine! ASDASHKLSDJKLDZJL ADKLKDZDJ!!!!!!”

——————————————

Awwwww! Godzilla let Kong go, bc he knows what it’s like to be the last of his species! 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

——————————————

“This is how we [...] win!”

Oh, honey, you ‘bout to die! Lmao! 😂

——————————————

Oh god! I knew he was going to use the sign for “coward” at the most inappropriate time! Lmao! At least the Precious Girls is smart enough to know what Dumbass White Man means, lol

——————————————

Oh, thank god we do t see this dumbass in any sequels!

——————————————

Dammit, he escaped!

——————————————

This girl is too good!

——————————————

Did y’all really think you were ganna break into a semi-sentient Mecha-Godzilla by GUESSING ITS FUCKING PASSWORD!!?!?!?!!!!???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

YEAH!!!! TEAM-UP COMING THROUGH!!!!!

——————————————

“I was hoping to die with adults, but that’s okay,”

🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

“I’VE GOT TO DIE WITB YOU AND SOBER!!?!?!”

GOD, I love this movie!!!!

——————————————

OOOOOOHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 He powering up the axe!!!!!

——————————————

YOOOOOO KONG WENT PREDATOR/YOUTJA ON MECHA-GODZILLA’s ASS!!!!

——————————————

Kong said, “I’m done, y’all! Imma take a nap!”

——————————————

“Dad. Uh...Bernie.”

I fucking love Bernie!!! 😂😂😂😂

——————————————

JIA NOOOO!!! Don’t go running between two disgruntled Kaiju bby!!

——————————————

Yo, why do monsters have less toxic masculinity than we do??? Lol!

——————————————

Yaaaaaay! Kong has a new home!!

——————————————

WELP!!! I fucking loved this movie, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!!

[sincerly-kate]

Shattered Glass (Malcolm Bright/Whitly x gn!reader)

A/n: This story is inspired by two things; a two-part series by @wreckofawriter​ and also my experience with family . If you want me to remove it (wreckofawriter) then I will, but I don’t mean to copy your amazing work.

Warnings: Angst to fluff, Malcolm trying his best (not really a warning but that needed to be put out there, HE ONLY TRIES HIS BEST), also talk about poor mental health! (Such as Anxiety, description of an anxiety attack (this is based off MY experiences I’m not trying to generalize them!) and slight depression)

Don’t read if you’re not done season one! All spoilers are under the cut just in case (Eve is mentioned, iykyk)

Summary: You and Malcolm have been dating for a few years now, you share with him all of your sides- or so he thought. How will he react when he sees you crying when you think he can’t see you? How will he feel when he realizes that you guys are more alike than he originally expected?

Y/s/n = Your Siblings Name

Y/m/n = Your Mothers Name

y/n = your name (just in case this is your first fic)

Words: Just over 3,000 (😅😅)

I was listening to this song as I was writing this: If the World Was Ending- JP Saxe, Julia MIchaels

You always knew that Malcolm could see the real you better than anyone else, he could see straight through your facial expressions and little habits. It was his job after all as a profiler, he couldn’t just turn it off when he was with you and that was understood between the two of you. The last thing you wanted was for him to change in a world that treated him differently already (no thanks to his father).

But there was one part of you that you tried to keep from Malcolm at all costs, and that was your family.

It wasn’t because you didn’t trust him with that knowledge, but it was just a side of you that you’ve never been able to let anyone see. To see how hurt you were by their words, how little you were respected by them, how small you felt anytime you tried to be yourself around them. You couldn’t tell him any of it, you hoped that he would believe your lies, cause you knew that his family was way worse than yours; so you just kept it all inside for no one except yourself to see. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel guilty for confiding in you after all these years.

You felt him nudge your shoulder, which brought you back to reality. You were a Reporter, and a very god one depending on who you asked, and Malcolm needed you to help him drag out a killer for a case. He was profiled as overly confident and a borderline narcissist, so Malcolm was certain that if you talked about him on the news, saying that they had him in custody that he would contact either you or the station to say you had a fraud. Malcolm was going to be by your side the entire time, just to make sure they wouldn’t go after the most important person in his life-,not again; he wouldn’t know what he would do if you were taken away from him like Eve. He would do anything in his power to make sure that he wouldn’t go after you, since you matched most of his previous victims.

“You alright?” He looked at you slightly worried, he was always concerned when you got too deep into that head of yours, he wasn’t sure what caused you to be constantly thinking that you’re not good enough, but he wasn’t going to press the matter. He rubbed your thigh as he sat next to you, to keep you grounded.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? It’s not like I’m about to be indirectly talking to a serial killer on live television, and possibly get a target on my back for doing so.” You nervously laughed as you looked down at your feet, your leg bouncing up and down to the rhythm of your rapidly beating heart.

“You don’t need to do this; you know that right?” He placed his hand on your cheek, caressing the side of your face with his thumb repeating the motion to calm your nerves. “I can ask Ainsley; she’s done this before-”

“Malcolm, I’ll be alright. I always am.” You gave him a tight-lipped smile; you knew it wasn’t very convincing but that’s all you could muster up at the moment.

He wasn’t convinced, you could tell since he gave you his doubtful that he’s given you on more than one occasion but he was cut off by another voice before he could call you out on it.

“C’mon Bright, they’re about to go live.” Gill said as he lightly grabbed his arm to get him out of the shot, and he complied.

“Live in 3,2,1...” You were given the cue as you took a deep breath and put your ‘TV face’ on as you liked to call it. “Breaking news tonight, the NYPD have confirmed that they have someone in custody who’s been known to the public as The angel of death, nothing has been said by police if this truly is their killer but after the past week of The angel of death terrorizing the city, police are led to believe that this is him.”

You took a pause to make it look like you were listening to someone through your earpiece, that was intentionally visible to the camera, then carried on with the broadcast.

“I’ve just gotten a confirmation from our sources that it has been officially confirmed that they have The angel of death himself in custody and will be setting a court date to be announced later. Now back to Ryan with politics.”

The second you heard the ring that signaled you were no longer on air, you slumped over in relaxation. You crossed your arms on the table in front of you and leaned your head, that now felt lighter than air, on top.

“You did amazing darling, that should get the killers attention for certain.” He said to you as the sound of his shoes got closer to the desk the kissed the top of your head and slowly rubbed your back to release more tension that he knew you were holding.

“I didn’t really- “You tried to correct him as you lifted your head, but Malcolm refused to let you get close to finishing that sentence of yours.

“Nope- you just brought us our killer baby; you did a hell of a lot more than most would’ve in your shoes.”  You loved how he was always able to reassure you, and how he did it without a second beat.

You turned to look up at your loving and supportive boyfriend in admiration and a warm smile slowly painting your features, “Whatever I did in a past life was so worth it.”

“What?” He slightly laughed at your statement, looking at you now with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

“To deserve someone like you and be lucky to call them mine.” You stood up from your chair and moved closer to him to close the distance between his lips and yours, you could taste the slight cherry flavor of the candy you knew he had earlier. As you two break apart, you can still taste it on your own lips.

Unfortunately, this moment doesn’t last as long as you two wanted it to, because both of your phones go off. His from an unknown caller, and yet yours is somehow worse.

You look down to your phone saying Mom, you sighed at this and then looked at Malcolm, or where he was, already on his phone, most likely talking to the killer himself next to Dani, Giles and JT.

You excused yourself to another room for some privacy that you knew you were going to need. You were only halfway to the quiet room when you answered your phone; you knew that was going to be a bad idea.

“Why in the hell did you think that was a good idea y/n?!”

You sighed and with a tight-lipped smile replied with, “Hello to you too mom, haven’t heard from you in a while.” You then slowly closed the door behind you.

“Don’t give me that lip! I am your mother, I deserved to be treated with respect! I never get this from y/s/n.”

You dropped your head down in defeat, you always considered the problem child, ever since your sibling came into the picture. Before that everything was relatively fine, but you never blamed y/s/n though; it’s not their fault your parents decided that you could fend for yourself at the age of 8.

“Yeah I know, but it was for a case- “Once again, she decided to cut you off.

“A CASE?” she shrieked into the phone, making you pull the device away from your ear.

“Yes- “

“Now I knew were selfish, but I never thought it was this bad. I could tell that it was staged, are you seriously putting yourself in danger so they could contact you for some ink?”

You were absolutely shocked by her words; she thought that you risking your life was selfish? So, you could save others, that made you selfish? You felt the pressure of tears build up as a sickening pit was building in your stomach; she always knew the words to say and never in the good way. “No, that’s not- “

“No, I get it, you’re too damn stupid to see past your own needs. I have no clue where I went wrong with you.”

The minute you heard that, you hung up the phone. You couldn’t care less about what she would’ve said after that.

You hit your back on the wall as you slowly walked backwards and slid down to the floor. You pulled your knees up to your chest and placed your head down.

You must’ve been sitting there for a while as there was a rough knocking behind your back, on the door. ‘They must’ve been knocking for a while’ you thought.

“Y/n! Are you in there?” Malcolm. You must’ve scared him to death, without even thinking you stand up and open the door for him.

Behind the door was Gil, JT and Dani accompanying Malcolm. “Shit guys, sorry if I scared you.” You laughed humorlessly but stopped once you saw all their concerned faces.

“Y/n, you alright?” Gil asked, who was more of a parental figure than your own, but you couldn’t ever tell him that. Not because you were scared it would go to his head, no, he wasn’t like that. You just didn’t want it to become awkward since he already needed to worry about Malcolm, you didn’t need him to constantly worry about you on top of it.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You said then realized you still had massive tear stains on your cheeks and puffy eyes from your previous phone call, you forgot to wipe them away before you opened the door.

‘Dammit y/n’ you scolded yourself for making the four of them all worry.

“Um you got somethin’ right,” JT then motioned to his whole face, Dani then elbowed him in the side for his unhelpful comment.

“Oh!” You wiped the sides of your face, “I’m fine guys, just got something in my eye.” You smiled at all of them.

Your head then turned to Malcolm, who squinted his eyes at you. You could tell didn’t believe you at all; he knew all your tells. You could tell that he was going to ask later, but you were sure as hell going to avoid it if you could.

Unable to deal with the silence anymore, you pushed by all of them, apologizing as you went, and walked out to your car. You were done for the day anyways, so you wanted to go home to Malcolm and yours’ apartment.

~

Once you got through the door, you let the dam in your mind open. The flood gate of tears rushed, and there was nothing you could’ve done to stop it; not that you really wanted to anyways. Your hands shook from the rush of emotions going through you, but you forced down the inevitable panic attack until you got to the couch. Your hands continued to uncontrollably shake, and you curled up in a fetal position with your favorite blanket wrapped around you like a tight hug. The words of your mother echoed throughout your fogged mind.

“I knew were selfish… you’re too damn stupid to see past your own needs…”

It just wouldn’t stop. It was like a massive wave going over a surfer; nothing could be done about it, you just needed to ride it out.

You heard a muffled noise coming from behind you but being so caught up and immobilized in your thoughts, nothing could’ve dragged you out of this one, not this time.

 A pair of arms grabbed your shoulders, and there was enough fight left in you to push them away and run into the corner of the apartment. You could slightly see a male figure coming near you, and all you were capable of doing was whimpering and curling up in what you had deemed your safety blanket.

“Y/n… talk to me… happened at… were worried…”

You tried to make out the familiar voice- Malcolm; that’s the only person it could be right? It didn’t matter to you right now; the voice of your mother was stronger than your own thoughts, it always had been.

You felt a thud right next to you, and smelt the subtle sent of his cologne, it brought you back to your senses slightly, but not enough to stop your uncontrollable shaking and tears. He nudged himself closer to your body, and you instinctively laid your head on his shoulder. You could feel yourself calm down, but you knew it was because he was here. Yes, he was helping you ground yourself through the small gesture, but it was mainly that you were embarrassed of him seeing you like this and could feel your body force away the attack.

As you begun to trust yourself to speak, you turned slightly towards Malcolm, a numb look coated your features. “Sorry you had to see that; you shouldn’t have had to.” You spoke meekly, looking down at your still slightly shaky hands in your lap.

“Y/n, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

It was once he said that sentence that you knew you needed to come clean about the one secret that you had left from him.

“But I do, I’ve been selfish.”

“How darling?” He said while slowly petting your head, the way you’d comfort a child.

“I didn’t want to tell you, cause you already had so much on your plate, with this case, your family, and I- I just didn’t want to add my family on top of it.” He understood that this must’ve been eating at you for a while, because you normally bottled all your feelings until it broke; unfortunately, that’s why you both got along so well. He never wanted you to feel like that was necessary when you were with him, but how do you bring that kind of thing up?

“What about your family?” he spoke softly. You never spoke about them, hell he’s never even met them but now he felt deep down that he was about to find out why.

“Am I selfish to you? Am I someone you really see yourself with in the long run?” Tears begun to fill your eyes again, and a crack in your voice was evident to Malcolm that you believed in what you were saying about yourself.

He felt a pang of sadness for you in his chest, that was quickly turning to anger at whoever made you feel like you were any less than worth the universe. He composed himself before he responded to your question.

“Far from it, you are the most selfless human being I’ve ever met. There’s now way that a selfish person would’ve done what you did today; going in front of thousands of people and calling out a killer like that, like a badass.” He nudged your shoulder, where he got a slight giggle out of you. It wasn’t a lot, but it was better than nothing.

“And absolutely can I see you with me later on,” He took a deep breath before he continued his statement. “I love you y/n, and if I ever lost you… I don’t even want to think of who I would become. You’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.”

You immediately rushed into his arms and embraced him so tightly, afraid that this was all some massive cruel dream, and you’d wake up another day without him knowing. You stayed like this for a moment before Malcolm piped up,

“So, you wanna tell me why the most beautiful person to ever walk the earth is currently crying on our apartment floor at nearly 9 pm?”

You both chuckled at this, as you unwrapped yourself from his arms to look him in his beautiful blue eyes. His eyes were still filled with an underlying anger, but mainly held concern towards you.

“You know when we were at the news station today? And you got a call from the killer?” He nodded, encouraging you to continue.

“Well I also got a call, but it was from my mother. We got into an argument, since she saw the broadcast, and words were said.” You knew that the fine details were going to be said eventually, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

“And, what did she say baby?” He answered in a voice that was barely even a whisper, he looked you up and down; most likely looking at your body language to see if you were going to try and lie, but he could tell that you were going to be honest.

“That I was selfish, dumb, questioning where she went wrong with me.” You sniffled and looked to your hands, terrified to see Malcolm’s reaction. Not because he might yell at you, but at what he might do to your mother now that this was his first impression of her.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Was all he said after some silence.

“You have your own family shit to deal with, I didn’t feel like it was fair on you to dump mine on top of it. I didn’t want you to lose anymore sleep than you already do over something that I need to deal with.”

“…”

“Malcolm? You’re scaring me.” You looked up at him to see him looking out the window, his face glowing from all the nightlife neon lights across the street; he looked so angelic, more than he normally did.

“How didn’t I see this any sooner? I don’t care that you didn’t tell me y/n, I don’t care that your family is screwed up as well. I do care about the fact that I couldn’t help you through it.”

“But Malcolm it wasn’t your fight-” you tried to defend your reasoning, but alas he needed to correct you once more before the night was through.

“You’re right; it’s our fight. To hell with our parents, we’re not our parents; we are our own people. So, from this moment on, I promise to be completely transparent with my baggage as long as you are with me. We can break our constantly bottled-up feelings together.” He gently picked up your hand and laid a kiss on top.

“turn them into shattered glass.” You nodded as you spoke, a smile slowly coming back to your face.

“Just like shattered glass.” He nodded back, returning your smile.

And just like that, the two of you sat down on the couch, cuddling and watching movies as dusk carried on into dawn.

A/n: I hope you guys liked this, I always loved Malcolm’s character and Prodigal son, and with my life being slightly hectic at the moment this was a nice change of pace. Hope you have an amazing day or night, depending on where you are! 💙

-Kate

[murphismycat]

*SPOILERS* My Thoughts on The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes before I Forget

Ok, first of all, I actually really loved this book. I think it is beautifully done, even if it is almost nothing like I expected. There were a few things that I thought were going to be in the book that actually were: the development of the Hunger Games as we know them by year 74, the first mockingjays, the first district 12 winner of the Games, and the beginning of Snow’s use of poison to rise to power. I was worried that this single book would not be able to capture the complexities of the original trilogy, but I actually think it did. No, there is not quite the same sense of calculated manipulation in this book, but that is because we are the ones watching Snow become that manipulator. The way he thinks is fascinating. He’s basically a textbook Slytherin obsessed with political theory, and we are able to witness his transformation into who we know he becomes. I feel like this is one of those books that I will grow to appreciate the more I think about it.

There were some things that I thought were odd, particularly in the first half of the book. The fact that the Hunger Games had been operating as they had for ten years was almost unbelievable to me. They would literally just bring in these kids and dump them in the arena with no food, water, or change of clothes. Also, it was the same arena every single year. No one even watched the games. If the entire point is to force people to remember what happened, and understand why control is necessary, why would they not make a greater effort to make it more of a spectacle? I feel like the way we see the Games in Katniss’ years makes more sense, and I understand that Snow was instrumental in forming the games that we know, but it seems odd to me that the geniuses that are supposed to be in charge let the games exist as they did for so long. This year, the tenth games, was supposedly the first year that they had kept the tributes for more than a night before the games. Did they not think that the tributes would die without food and water? And why are these Capitol parents, who actually seem relatively normal so close to the end of the war, bring their small children to see the tributes in a monkey cage? It feels like the people of the Capitol still had an understanding that this was wrong. It hadn’t been sensationalized yet. So why would they just be okay with watching these kids starve in a cage? Also, this is the first year that the tributes have sponsors. How could anyone be expected to fight to the death without food or water, as they had apparently been doing for ten years? The only water source in the arena was the puddle that came when it rained. What if it didn’t rain? They would all just die. Quickly. The only motivation for fighting for your life would have been to kill the others so that you could get food or water faster. Also, they didn’t check the tributes’ pockets before going in? I understand why Snow gets in trouble for cheating with the snakes, but honestly he should not have been able to get away with the food and rat poison.

Other than the whole situation with the games, I also didn’t really like how half of the tributes, and some of the mentors, died before the games even began. I think it was to give the impression that Snow and the Capitol children were all part of the Games themselves, similar to how Katniss feels she’s still in the Games in Mockingjay. I just don’t think it added a lot to the story, and I also think the bombing of the arena could have been fleshed out more. There were many points in the first third of the book that I felt were there purely for the development of Snow’s character, but didn’t make a whole lot of sense in the larger picture. I know some people thought him and Tigris being cousins was random. I felt that a little bit too, but there was definitely some sort of relationship hinted at between them when Katniss meets Tigris in Mockingjay. Katniss assumes Tigris was kicked out of the Games by Snow for not being pretty anymore. Tigris never really confirms or denies her theory, leaving a mystery that I think we got a little bit of clarity for in this book.

Aside from that stuff, I really loved this book, especially towards the end. The parallels and meaning that come up from the songs are quite beautiful. For example, Lucy Gray always says that it’s not over until the mockingjay sings. I very recently reread the original trilogy, and I remembered the chapters after Katniss assassinates Coin. Snow dies laughing, blood pouring out of his mouth, smothered by the people he worked so hard to control (which is actually quite disturbing to think about after reading this book about him). As Katniss is waiting to die in her old room at the training center, she starts, almost unconsciously, singing. It’s over. The mockingjay sings.

I love all of those types of parallels. Snow hates the mockingjays right away, and his first act of initiative as a peacekeeper is to have them killed. I know some people didn’t like the mentions of katniss root, mockingjays, and songs, but I loved them. I was excited to read about them because I love the original books, but I also think it added a lot. We see how Snow would associate each of these things in his mind, and how that impacts his actions in the original trilogy. Katniss is a symbol of chaos. The root amidst the nature that he loved and then learned to disdain. He felt safe and at peace the first time he encountered it, spending a pleasant Sunday outing with Lucy Gray and the Covey. The next time he hears about it, Lucy Gray lies to say she is finding some before she runs away, knowing that he has changed his mind. Running away and living in nature, like an animal, is not what he wants. He desires civilization, control. Katniss root, and therefore Katniss Everdeen herself, symbolizes the opposite: chaos. Katniss’ use of the mockingjay and the songs of the Covey immediately tip Snow off to the beginnings of rebellion. He know what they mean, and where they came from. It makes his actions in the original series seem so much more personal.

I think this is a common theory, but I’m pretty sure Maude Ivory is Katniss’ paternal grandmother. I had a little fangirl moment the first time Snow goes looking for Lucy Gray. First he stops at the bakery, and then he goes to the Seam. He meets both Peeta’s and Katniss’ ancestors in the same half hour, which is crazy to think about. Every time a place familiar to the original books was mentioned, I couldn’t help thinking about what happens in 64 years.

The Hanging Tree was crazy to read about. I love that it can apply to so many relationships and on so many levels throughout the book. On the one hand, it’s between Lucy Gray and Billy Taupe. It’s also about Lucy Gray and Snow himself, but Snow never really sees it that way. In the end, Lucy Gray realizes that both she and Snow are doomed to their fates. They will not live simple, good lives as good people. They can’t. A necklace of rope, side by side with me. When Snow hears her sing this for the last time, he thinks she’s pointing out his role in Sejanus’ death. In a way he’s right, but he completely misses the bigger picture. His way of thinking, both in general and specifically about Lucy Gray, is so flawed. It becomes increasingly clear the more he talks about owning her. I’ve heard that people don’t think Suzanne Collins properly addresses Snow’s flaws, but I think it is done very well. It’s never specifically stated that he is a bad person, but it would feel cheap if it was. In fact, he states over and over that he is an exceptional person. At the beginning of the book, it’s almost easy to believe that he is. We are the ones that get to watch his transition. Sometimes characters are really bad, but it works out in their favor anyway. 

All in all, I think this book is a great addition to the original series. It adds history and context, exploring the making of both a villain and a society. The Capitol, districts, and Games that we see in this book are so different from those of the original series, but Suzanne Collins beautifully closes this book so that we can see where the path is taking these characters and institutions, eventually leading them to the ones we know.

I’m pretty sure no one is reading this, but this is more for me and my memory than anything else. I have a lot of thoughts and no one to share them with. If anyone is reading this, thank you and I hope you’re staying safe in this pandemic.

[haberdashing]

Make Your Statement, Face Your Fear

TMA fic. A doctor goes to the Magnus Institute to make a statement about a very strange patient, but is surprised by who she encounters there.

Inspired by this post (spoilers).

on AO3

Cassie Jenkins was, admittedly, a bit of a superstitious sort, more willing to believe in the paranormal than the average person. She tried to keep it a secret for the most part, at least in the workplace--most of the fellow medical professionals she knew prided themselves in their belief in science and reason, and would turn up their noses at any supernatural explanation offered for a patient’s condition--but sometimes... sometimes, enough was enough.

If it had been just the two missing ribs on the chest X-ray, that would have been one thing. It was strange, admittedly, but much as people liked to think that the human body came in a single general mold (or two molds, perhaps), there were in fact any number of variations to be found on the same general theme, individuals who happened to have body part arrangements that differed significantly from the norm, often without even realizing it, let alone showing symptoms. Perhaps this patient was one of those, having two less ribs than the human average for all his life...

...except his medical records, which were extensive, showed no reference to the missing ribs, even though this certainly wouldn’t have been the first test run on him to reveal them if they’d been present since birth. And there were no records of any surgery that would have involved their removal--it had reminded her of some old rumors about celebrities getting ribs removed to make them looked skinnier, but the patient didn’t look to be a vain man, grubby and scar-covered as he was, and he certainly didn’t need surgical help to looking skinny, as he was practically skin and bones already.

Cassie had asked about it in passing, admittedly as motivated by personal curiosity as she was by medical necessity, as she was doubtful that the missing ribs could be connected to the bad cough that had actually brought the patient into the clinic.

His answer?

A nonchalant “Oh yeah, that’s on purpose.”

That probably should have been the end of it. If she were smarter, more focused, less prone to meandering curiosity, Cassie would have accepted that response, strange as it was, and proceeded with assisting the patient with his actual medical concern. (The array of tests that had been ordered the first time he’d come in, chest X-ray included, confirmed that he had a relatively mild case of bronchitis: uncomfortable in the short-term, sure, but easy enough to treat, and it was starting to clear up already, with no sign of complications and unlikely to have any long-term consequences.)

Maybe he was vainer than she thought, and had done some at-home surgery to remove two of his ribs, managing to pull it off without having to consult actual medical professionals in the process.

Maybe the records she had access to were incomplete or inaccurate, and he had been missing the ribs all his life, and his response was... oh, some sort of sick humor, perhaps? Wouldn’t be the first time patients had tried to mess with her...

But neither of those explanations rang quite true for Cassie, and as the patient appeared irregularly for further appointments and she did a bit of extracurricular digging through his records, things just got stranger and stranger.

The pockmark scars across his body had a clear enough explanation in the records, at least. His workplace had suffered from a severe worm infestation a couple years back, apparently, and an ambulance had been called out during the worst of it; he’d even been briefly quarantined before the ambulance workers had determined that his wounds, while significant, weren’t life-threatening or otherwise in need of extended medical supervision. That was a bit odd, sure, but reasonable enough, though that must have been some infestation, to leave him with marks everywhere like that...

But the scar on his neck, the straight line that looked disconcertingly like somebody had tried to slit his throat? The patient had stammered through an explanation that had something to do with slipping while using power tools, but even he seemed to have trouble keeping up with the details of his own claim, and there was no record of him being treated for any wounds that might have left such a scar.

The scar of his shoulder was similar--it looked suspicious, looked like he’d been stabbed, and his claim that he’d fallen onto a stray kitchen knife reminded Cassie uncomfortably of how patients liked to claim that they just “fell” onto things that had gotten lodged in... certain bodily orifices... it wasn’t the same, of course, but the tone was the same, the desperate attempt to find an innocent-sounding explanation for an injury that had a much more awkward true source. No medical records for that one, either.

Oh, and the hand that looked like he’d stuck it in lava, hard to forget that! When she’d asked the patient about that one, he’d just gone flushed and muttered something about touching a hot pan, but she knew better. Touching a hot pan was one thing; having a hand that looked like it’d been set entirely ablaze was quite another. And, gee, no medical records regarding treatment for that one either, who’d’ve thunk it! Though he’d claimed that he would have gone to the hospital for that one, except that he’d been wrongly accused of murder and was on the run at the time, which she had assumed was a joke or another bizarre lie until she’d actually looked into it, and sure enough...

And the roundabout way he always seemed to ask things, the way that even when he wasn’t dodging questions about his collection of scars he never quite seemed to give a straight answer, seeming very concerned about exactly how he phrased whatever he had to say, even during the most mundane bits of conversation...

And there was the time he’d asked to see an optometrist--completely out of the blue, too, no complaints about his vision or anything like that to go with the request--and the optometrist found that his vision was significantly better than the last time he’d had it checked a few years back, and he didn’t seem the least bit surprised when he found out...

And the way Cassie kept finding old-fashioned tape recorders in her office every time he left, though she never remembered seeing him bring them in...

One or two of these things, okay, maybe she could have dismissed them as mere coincidence. But all of them at once... well...

Cassie didn’t have an explanation in mind, admittedly, natural or supernatural in origin, but just the same, she was very sure that there was something wrong about this Jonathan Sims.

And when a news article she’d been perusing in her downtime happened to make mention of the Magnus Institute, it felt like... like a sign. Maybe that was ridiculous, her superstitious tendencies at their worst, but she knew the moment she read about the Institute that she had to go there.

This sort of thing was what they did, after all, wasn’t it? Look into the weird goings-on that the public brought to their attention, let people come in and make statements and then took on the burden of research for them? Sure, its reputation was... iffy, but she wanted to talk to somebody about this, and the Institute seemed like as good a place to go as any.

She wasn’t going to be stupid about it, though. She knew that patient confidentiality was still something she’d have to consider, especially since--hadn’t the Institute’s files been leaked once, back in the 90s maybe? Jonathan Sims might be weird, potentially even touched by the supernatural, but he was still a patient of hers just the same, and she wasn’t going to risk her job giving away personal information about him just to ease her conscience. As she made her way to the Magnus Institute, Cassie thought about giving a false name for herself, or for her patient, or both, perhaps fudging a few of the dates and details so the connection couldn’t be easily made, while still making it clear that something was off about this patient of hers...

The Institute itself looked rather like she’d expected it to--books and file cabinets lining the walls, haggard-looking employees in business casual running here and there with notepads and pens. The front desk employee, a woman with a kind smile, directed Cassie to the archives when she mentioned making a statement, said the Head Archivist was in and would likely be able to hear her statement himself.

The archives were a bit less hectic and a bit more cramped than the first floor had been. It didn’t take too long for Cassie to find the door labeled “HEAD ARCHIVIST”, a muffled voice from within welcoming her inside as she first raised her hand to knock on the door.

The head archivist’s office was crowded and messy, covered in papers and pens and... and old-fashioned tape recorders...

And the man sitting behind the desk was the very patient that Cassie had come to make a statement about, his scar-covered, unhealthily thin visage recognizable enough to her even without the “JONATHAN SIMS: HEAD ARCHIVIST” nameplate on the desk.

Cassie gasped audibly, heard the click of a tape recorder starting though Jonathan hadn’t moved to turn any on. Her head swam with confidentiality rules and half-formed explanations for how the strange patient she thought was fodder for the Magnus Institute and that same Institute’s head archivist could be one and the same.

Jonathan Sims was the one to break the silence. “Dr. Jenkins?”

Cassie closed the door behind her--it wasn’t breaking confidentiality if it was just the two of them listening, after all, although there was still the matter of those tape recorders. “Jonathan? Jonathan Sims?”

“Just Jon, if you don’t mind. And please, take a seat.”

Cassie did as she was told. The chair was more comfortable than she had expected at a glance, given how worn and threadbare it had looked. She took a deep breath, slowly let it out, and realized after she was done that clearing her mind that small bit had not done anything to help her mind reconcile the strangeness of what was in front of her.

“Rosie told me somebody was coming down to make a statement. Is that--I mean, I assume she meant you.”

“Well, yes...” Cassie’s voice sounded weak and choked, and somehow that was what impressed within her that no matter how the rest of this meeting played out, her professional relationship with Jonathan Sims was certainly going to be... different afterwards.

Maybe he’d refuse to see her anymore. She couldn’t say she’d blame him.

“I’m not sure I should anymore, though. Make a statement, that is.”

“Why?”

Cassie really didn’t want to admit why, didn’t want to admit what had brought her to the Institute in the first place, but much as she wanted to dodge Jon’s question as he had dodged so many of her own, the truth just sort of... slipped out of her.

“Because I came here to make a statement about you.”

Cassie cringed a little, when she realized what she’d just said, what she’d just confessed to, and she anticipated any number of possible negative responses from the man in front of her...

...what she hadn’t expected, however, was for him to start laughing.

She must have been staring, must have looked at him like he’d grown another head, because he calmed his laughter soon enough. “Oh, don’t worry, Dr. Jenkins, I- I completely understand.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Jonathan Sims let out another sharp laugh before adding, “You’re not wrong, either. My medical history is quite connected to the paranormal these days...”

[cards-onthetable]

Seems I'm wearing grumpy pants again... sorry

(LOL OOPS I get notifications for asks and messages but not submissions for some reason, so I’m just seeing this. Sorry if it’s been sitting since last week...)

Thanks for the review. I needed that laugh!! But I had questions, oh so many questions. So I watched the Jamko bits on instagram. I tried to send an ask but not enough characters (do you wanna punch me yet)?

1. Why does arsehole Janko have Jamie's mobile number? Do they have a relationship independent of Eddie? Maybe it's just me being stupid for assuming, but wouldn't Jamie's number be unlisted to avoid dealing with BS from those he arrests?

I’m sure Jamie’s actual cell number is not public knowledge - Maybe Armin knew which precinct Jamie’s at, and went through Police Channels to contact him? Like maybe that’s his duty phone as a sergeant or something? Or maybe Lena had passed on an NYPD courtesy card to him in jail lol. Hooray for plot holes. Who knows.

2. Did Lena know more about her husbands shady dealings than she lets on/Eddie is aware of? To me that would explain why never divorced. Or she may just be the marriage is forever no matter what type. Given the strained relationship between Eddie and her mother and also the way Lena seems to have treated her, I'm not so sure Lena was totally clueless. She may have moved a bit because people give her grief but she sure is not struggling financially so maybe her husband in jail is worth the high life.

It wouldn’t surprise me. When I wrote (and named, yo) Lena Janko I characterized her as a petty, materialistic person who was a knowing bystander at least, if not actually complicit in Armin’s crimes. But lol I also wrote Armin as a reformed, sympathetic, Good Guy out of prison so what do I know? But we saw that Eddie does not have contact with her father so I do assume Lena still has contact with him at this point - how else did he know Eddie’s engaged, which precinct to find her fiancé, etc?

3. Does Eddie still drive her Porsche? Given that it came from a dubious money source, it seems odd to me that she would still be driving it. The fanfare of the wedding will invite media attention so why make it so easy to make nasty comments? You know Garrett is all about OPTICS and she is about to be a REAGAN aka NYPD ROYALTY. What if Frank is asked about their relationship at a press conference? OPTICS PEOPLE! OPTICS! 

No idea dude. When’s the last time we actually saw that car? I don’t know but previously I accepted the headcanon that she kept it at her parents’ suburban McMansion most of the time, with rare times she’ll bring it to the city for a few days. Parking in NYC is expensive af, yo. Like an actual assigned space costs as much as a second rent in some places. But now we know Lena’s been moving around the city for the last 5 years, not up in Westchester babysitting Eddie’s car, so your guess is as good as mine. As far as the optics, I’m not sure how they’ll play it. Lena has brought up the Irony of Eddie, daughter of a criminal, marrying the PC’s son but nobody else has said very much. Maybe the show will address it in a typical Who Cares way and it’ll just be a non-issue.

4. REDACTED because I have some Thoughts about this topic that I hope to address in this fic I’m hoping to finish soon. 👍

5. Why do you hate Anthony? I personally enjoy his sarcasm.  But then I also enjoy Gormley's putting the mouth in gear before the brain so frequently. 

WHY DO I HATE ANTHONY? OH HERE’S A CAN OF WORMS, AUSSIE. But I’ll be succinct. Anthony’s entire existence bothers me. He’s only here to make Erin’s lawyer-y storylines into detective-y storylines. How often do we see Erin actually act as a lawyer? We usually see her and Anthony Investigating or maybe arguing/discussing a case. We rarely see her actually going her job (except when her ADA position conflicts with Frank’s NYPD agenda). It’s like the show runners have no faith in their audience, and think the viewers only want to see detective/police storylines - as if lawyer storylines, and that whole branch of the justice system, would be too Boring for tv. So I hate Anthony because he takes away any opportunities for Erin - a supposedly powerful and successful woman - to do her actual job, and her entire position as ADA is minimized in the show. It’s insulting to the audience and insulting to Erin too. Anthony’s entire existence is unnecessary for the show to go on. Let us see Erin actually be a lawyer in a context other than being the Reagan Family Bad Guy (and maybe that would humanize her a little bit! We all know she gets some pretty shit writing/characterization lately) and drop this whole charade that investigative, action-packed storylines are the only interesting or relevant storylines.

The whole Jamko and the precinct secret is still BULLSHIT. There is no way there is no push back if their coworkers do in fact know. Does anybody know if this is actually allowed in the NYPD? A superior can date a direct subordinate? Seems ridiculous if that is actually true. Corruption allegations would be made daily. (Agreed yo. We all know it’s ridiculous. And like, does the precinct know? Are they still in the dark? Jamie and Eddie can discuss wedding plans in front of everyone, but it’s still a secret? Coooolcoolcool.)

Jamie not understanding Eddie's messy family situation is BULLSHIT for someone about to be married. If Eddie can't talk to Jamie about this because she fears being judged/not supported then really they should not be getting married. I'm not saying spouses have to share absolutely everything, but what you go through in life often does shape how you see the world generally, so the fact both Eddie and Jamie have chosen to not discuss important aspects of their lives with each other should be a massive red flag. (AGREED AGREED AGREED. I have so many issues all the time. If they’d dated like normal people before jumping into rings and vows, they’d have worked out the majority of this Big Stuff before deciding to commit to one another for life. Like, you typically want to know these things as relevant info when making that decision to get engaged - not after. This “get engaged and figure everything else out later” shit was/is terrible. If the show insisted on doing it this way, they AT LEAST should have moved the Armin situation and the Baby Discussion to the first few episodes of the season. Don’t talk to me about the weird time lapses and inconsistencies in this show, I don’t care if a month of ~actual time~ passes in one week between back to back episodes... they should not be introducing these topics for the first time in the two episodes leading up to the wedding. GOD I HATE EVERYTHING.) There's a reason divorce is so prevalent. I wonder if Eddie feels she should reconcile with her parents because of the closeness of the Reagan family. Or is it something Eddie herself actually wants? Family or not, sometimes people are just toxic and you need to cut them off for your own sanity. (I hope the Reagans don’t put pressure on Eddie to fix things with her parents, ugh. That would be overstepping in a major way and yeah, your relationship to someone shouldn’t trump their toxicity - like Eddie doesn’t have to forgive her parents just because they’re her parents.)

We've already discussed my thoughts on the Reagan siblings getting arsehole sprung from jail before the show aired (spoiler: they were not nice thoughts folks), but as for the  BB continuity, consider this: the only consistency is the inconsistency!

@kwannemacher and I have kinda discussed the whole prison fiasco and I think arsehole lost his temper one night after watching a TV show that drove him insane so he started a prison riot and got extra time. He didn't just throw things at TV, he tore TV off wall, set fire to his mattress and started an all in brawl. So 5 years extra for totally losing his shit.  BB has the capacity to ignite tempers here so it's feasible arsehole Janko totally lost it. Probably watched one of those dating shows where they pick the so called love of their lives and he couldn't believe who the guy picked. We all have bad days!! (😂😂😂😂😂 omg I can be on board with this)

In closing I hope @ontherockswithsalt has insurance because I am wondering if her TV can withstand the wedding viewing party if you will be enjoying with her (lol I think I will be, and I plan to wrap myself in whole body bubble wrap for the protection of myself and everyone/everything around me). I'm already emotional 🤮🤮🤮 if they go with their own vows. I may be wrong, but I think Will  shows Jamie's soft side next week. He won't be dead face or whatever it is you call him. (Dude I am ALL IN on those ridiculous vows. If they’d only said them once, I’d be rolling my eyes @ the grossness, but it would be whatever. BUT THEY MADE A POINT OF SAYING THEM TWICE so they’re committed at this point. Make Jamie recite those ridiculous words for the third time. I want to see the pain on his terrible face as he suffers through that again. If we don’t get those vows I’ll riot.)

Enjoy your week

Aussie

P.S. Yes I realise his name is Armin, but that guy is a narcissistic ARSEHOLE

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, 2018 (dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, Best Adapted Screenplay

SPOILER ALERT THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD ME HEARTIES BE YE WARNED

wowee what a cool film!!  i went into this not knowing much about it except it was directed by the Coen brothers (directors of Fargo and The Big Lebowski) which set real high expectations for me.  these guys are real masters of storytelling and what immediately come to mind when i think of movies that know how to effectively use dark humor.  i also love the kinds of stories they tell in general, how they take subjects and settings that seem kinda mundane and just give them this little extra spark. 

so is this newest film just as good as their other work???  well id say yeah for sure!!!  it reminds me a lot of a film they did shortly after The Big Lebowski called O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because theyre both period pieces AND because they both feature a myriad of eclectic and interesting characters.  the one thing that makes The Ballad of Buster Scruggs really stand out from their other films however is the fact that this is actually an anthology made up of six different stories, all set during the same time period in The Wild West.  its also worth mentioning that this movie was made to premiere on Netflix, which is something ive started to see more and more as the streaming platform becomes the new go-to source of media content.  its very exciting to see such prolific directors go the Netflix route and have great success with it, because it means that the platform really is capable of creating high-quality movies and TV shows and working with big-name talent.  im sure the big hollywood production companies are all quaking in their lil booties cause this means big BIG changes are on the horizon

ok so ive reviewed anthology series before, notably Black Mirror, and with those reviews i ranked the short stories in order of least to most favorite.  so i guess in this case ill do the same, although its hard to really rank these cause i truly enjoyed all of them in different ways.  there was one however that didnt really tickle my fancy much, which was “Near Algodones”.  this one stars james franco as a bank robber who seems to have met his match in a fiery (probably crazy) bank teller.  he gets caught and hung from a tree by the town’s sheriff, but nearly manages to escape death when a Native American tribe swoops in and kills the sheriff and his crew.  james franco is saved by a cattle driver, only to be caught again by the next town’s sheriff for allegedly trying to hawk the cattle (which was not the case at all).  right before they kick the chair out from under him at the hanging, he sees a beautiful woman in blue, who at first smiles at him but then looks unnerved as he stares back at her. 

i think with this one the ending really didnt do much for me, i kinda didnt get it.  i did understand the whole irony behind surviving punishment for a crime he DID commit but getting hanged for a crime he never committed, and the bank teller was pretty hilarious, but everything else about the segment was just ok.  james franco didnt really blow me away (he never really does but thats besides the point), the rest of the performances were fine, and the story just kinda zipped on through.  maybe ill give this one another watch to see if the ending makes any more sense to me, or if theres any sense to be made from it at all

next up for me would be “The Gal Who Got Rattled”, and this segment i have mixed feelings over.  its about this brother and sister who set out on the Oregon trail so that the brother can get his sister to marry his business partner in Oregon.  the sister seems like a kind of wishy-washy, subdued character who just kinda goes along with whatever her brother says without giving much of her own opinion.  i gotta give credit to zoe kazan (who starred in The Big Sick) cause she does a great job with this character, totally spot-on performance.  ok so turns out the brother is a fucken HORRIBLE businessman who screws up all his business deals all the time, and he tragically dies like two days into being on the oregon trail.  he has this annoying-ass dog that barks all the time and everyone else on the caravan is sick of it, so when the brother dies the sister just lets one of the trail leaders put it down.  turns out the sister like did not like her brother at all but was always too afraid to say anything.  now getting back to the bad businessman thing, apparently he had promised the helper boy that is helping move their covered wagon a large sum of money, half of it halfway through the journey and the rest when they get to oregon.  problem is, the sister doesnt have the money, so it was either left in the brothers pocket when he was buried or there wasnt actually any money at all and he lied, y’know, like a bad businessman does.  the trail leader who put the annoying dog down offers to help her, and the two start to get close.  so now its like a pseudo love story thing.  except it ends pretty tragically (the sister dies its a long story and pretty ironic just watch it if u wanna know)

so uuuhhhhh this one was long as shit, like a lot longer than the other segments when it didnt really need to be???  like it just kept  going and going, and again the ending didnt really make up for how long it was.  i really liked zoe kazan in this, but otherwise nothing to write home about. 

number four on my list would have to go to “All Gold Canyon”, which basically just follows the story of a gold miner in the mountains trying to get that money honey.  this segment is the simplest one out of the bunch, but i gotta say its absolutely gorgeous.  what beautiful scenery and cinematography.  it provides a nice contrast to our disheveled, run-down gold miner who is just tearing up the beautiful grassy fields trying to get to this gold.  there seems to be a theme in this one of man’s relationship to nature, and how the gold miner does put in effort to respect it but still takes advantage of it for his own benefit.  and i guess theres a broader theme of greed, or the ruthless and endless pursuit of wealth which can drive people to do crazy and desperate things.  i definitely really enjoyed this one, especially the gold miner character played by tom waits.  but otherwise it didnt stand out as much to me as the other segments im gonna talk about

SPEAKING OF WHICH heres number three!!  “The Mortal Remains” is right up my alley, and has some more mythical elements to it than the other segments ive talked about so far.  so we have a wagon full of passengers all going to this hotel for various reasons, and its a really diverse cast of characters: we have the older wife of a prolific religious lecturer, a rich Frenchman, a trapper, a foppish Englishman, and a cheery laid-back Irishman, the last two seeming to be companions of some sort.  they all get on the topic of the true nature of mankind, and the three characters opposite of the strange pair all have something different to say.  the trapper believes that all people are inherently the same, with the same basic needs.  the older woman disagrees and insists that there are two kinds of people, upright and sinning.  and then the Frenchman says that both of them are wrong, that human existence is much more complicated and nuanced than that; no one persons life is exactly the same as another’s.  and then we have the Englishman and the Irishman, who turn out to be bounty hunters of some sort (is heavily alluded that they are grim reaper-type figures).  they explain their method of completing their kills, and talk about how they enjoy watching their victims “try to make sense of it all” in their death throes.  these two clearly have a much more cold and sinister idea of the nature of mankind, and the rest become very unsettled all the way to the hotel.  no one else even dares to step out of the carriage while the bounty hunters drag their latest victim through the front entrance and up the stairs.

oh man this segment was great!  i think the reason its third on my list is cause i really wish there was more to it, like if the Coen brothers spent more time on this one instead of “The Gal Who Got Rattled” it would be perfect.  Jonjo O’Neill and Brendan Gleeson as the bounty hunters were so enthralling, and i loved watching them play off of each other.  hell, i couldve had a whole movie featuring those two.  and the screenwriting really shines in this segment too.  this segment almost feels like a fable or something, which is really fitting for the time period.  makes me wonder if they had based it off of an actual fable.  but anyway yeah this ones awesome!

i had a hard time choosing between “The Mortal Remains” and this next segment for second place cause i liked them both equally, but in the end “Meal Ticket” gets #2 purely because of the utterly fantastic performance by Harry Melling, who plays a quadriplegic actor in a traveling show run by liam neesons character, an irish traveling entertainer.   the story itself is really simple, we just see this disabled actor be carted from one town to the next, doing the same stage show which is basically just him reciting famous prose throughout the ages.  meanwhile liam neeson is trying to get as much money as he can out of the audience members.  he doesnt interact much with harry melling outside of feeding him and helping him piss and get dressed.  u get the sense that he doesnt really see his disabled actor as an actual person, but more of an entertaining object or a pet.  and this becomes even more apparent when the irishman gets some competition from another traveling entertainer who has a chicken that can do math.  he sees this chicken getting more money than him, so he buys it off of the other guy and takes it with him.  and finally, the poor limbless actor is literally and figuratively tossed aside for the next best thing.

man oh man what a great segment!  harry melling blew me away with his performance, the fact that he was able to get such a nuanced range of emotion out of the few lines he was given (basically he had to recite the same shit over and over again) was so impressive to me.  and his non-verbal communication was really solid too.  liam neeson did really well in his role too.  and again the story itself is really great, simple but effective and really gets the point across without having to beat the audience over the head with its message. OH YEAH ITS REAL GOOD LOVE IT

and finally we have my #1 pick, which i think the directors knew this was the best one out of the bunch too cause its the first segment as well as the title of the whole movie.  “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” has that signature Coen brothers wit and dark humor that i love, it plays off of typical Western movie tropes and is very tongue-in-cheek and i ate that shit up.  tim blake nelson as the titular buster is just so fucken perfect for this role, he really shines in this and its kind of a shame that its one of the shorter segments cause it really is the best one and he knocks it out of the park.  we got some great music in this segment too, which is where that Best Original Song nom comes in.   this one also has some strong fable-y vibes to it, like this story could be amongst the likes of American folklore like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed.  i wont get much into the plot of this one but i highly recommend watching it, even if you dont wanna see the rest of the segments. 

the segments fit together pretty well overall, although the tone of each of them differs slightly the fact that the setting and time period are the same is enough to firmly knit all these stories together.  its a really unique idea for a movie, and is so far the best attempt at an anthology movie that ive ever seen purely because the stories really all make sense together and play off of each other well.  in other anthology movies ive seen like The ABC’s of Death the segments usually dont have much at all to do with each other, except that they all fall in the same genre.  so overall id say give this a watch, especially if ur a Coen brothers fan, cause theres some real good stuff in here.

well thats all i got for now cowboys!!  i watched Roma the other day and CRIED REAL HARD so get ready for me to kiss that movies ass in a review that should be done in the next few days.  until then go uuhhhhhh lasso a cow or something.  chew some tobaccy.  fondle a barmaids titties.  die of dysentery.  y’know just old west things~

[libertarianbarbarian]

United State Wars Troopers

United Starwars Troopers

   Facts:

- https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Galactic_Empire/Legends#Government_and_politics

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Loyalist

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Galactic_Republic#Organization

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Sector_Governance_Decree

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Delegation_of_2,000

 - https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Petition_of_2,000

 -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starship_Troopers#Militarism

 - https://www.amazon.com/Expanded-Universe-Worlds-Robert-Heinlein/product-reviews/0441218830?pageNumber=2

  OPED WARNING

“My grandmother used to tell me stories about the old days, a time of peace when the Avatar kept balance between the Water Tribes, the Earth Kingdom, Fire Nation, and the Air Nomads. But that all changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop the Fire Nation.” Oh yeah, I’m going to get that dorky with it today!

So, here’s the spiel, we’re divided as ever. The left hates the right, liberals hate “nazis”, or “fascists”, or “racists” …or whatever the hell it is now and days. But there’s something to be said about coming together. I’m sorry but no matter what news source you look at whether it be CNN, or Newsmax…or Fox News, then you’re inevitably going to come up with one conclusion. We’re divided. The only real thing that you’re going to see is the source of the division from network to network.

I know, I know, you’re tired about hearing all of this bullshit by now. Got it, and I am too damn it…but hear me out on this one. This is classically, no comically standard procedure, and probably something that all of us have seen before. One look at my FACTS section and you’ll know where I’m going with this. I personally thought about it for a moment and started laughing my ass off about the whole thing myself!

So yeah, Star Wars, and Starship Troopers. Something everyone knows, and probably loves to hell. Well if you take a close look at everything you start to see a pattern. Back when “Lucasfilms” came out with the prequels of the series that everyone, except my goofy ass, hated they tried to explain how the galaxy was as fucked as it was. Back in the beginning of everything, regarding the prequels, it was kind of calm and had the normal shenanigans going on in politics. You know, a little corruption here, a lobbyist there, special interests for specific politicians popping up all over the place, normal stuff.

Well the biggest thing that popped up was the clone wars. I understand that it didn’t really kick off until episode II but stick with me on this. There was major upheaval. One man, spoiler alert…if you didn’t already know, Senator Palpatine rose through the ranks to prominence. In the background he was manipulating something that they call “the outer rim”, or a special group of planets in the galaxy that weren’t part of the “Galactic Republic”. Think of like a foreign interest’s type of thing. Not to long after that war broke out between a group in “the outer rim” and the “Galactic Republic” called the clone wars.

Yes, we’ve got little Anakin Skywalker, emotional little shit bag, and Padme Amidala as the protagonist’s along with young Obi-Wan Kenobi. There’s something to be said about the main political shit going on around the same time and the division it caused amongst the masses though. Basically while the “Clone Wars” were going on you still had senators going “rabble rabble” in one big hall that represented their planet and then Senator Palpatine inching his ass in to the Supreme Chancellor spot…or I guess their version of a president? Anyways slowly but surely, he started to use the war itself as a springboard to slowly limit the powers of the individual citizens, then BAM! Out comes the “Galactic Empire” that we’re all familiar with and the still evermore moody Anakin Skywalker now Darth Vader.

Ok, I think we’re all caught up now. The reason why I say that there was a major division going on here that made me laugh is that this all sounds vaguely familiar. Right now, as it is, we have a group of elites in Washington D.C. that are pretty much dictating what and who we are as individuals along with what we say socially. Take a look at the news I’ll wait. Are you back yet?

Alright, the real big thing that I looked in to as hard as I could was what the main doctrine of the Galactic Republic had as its backbone. I couldn’t find it exactly so I had to pull some crime show forensic shit to figure out what the hell was going on, and why was it so easy for that form of government to be broken up. Well looking at it they did have a “constitution”, but from everything I could find it was basically weak as hell. Point one for America right there.

It was nothing during a time of war for Palpatine to just waltz right in and declare himself the Supreme Chancellor. He still had to divide the senate and get them to argue amongst each other. Cause a little chaos here, question the morals of a specific candidate. Ahem…call in to question the freaking Supreme Chancellor Valurum, the guy before him. There ya go, bad guy in office for the movies to continue.

The part that really started to get me laughing though was the way everything was set up after I started to do my research for this blog. They had almost the exact same set up we did. “Office of the Chancellor”, “Galactic Senate”, “Judicial Department”. If you ask me that kind of sounds like the President, Congress, and the Supreme Court. Well I think that one might be a draw…maybe. Hold up, all the power was easily transferable to the Galactic Senate, because red tape. Yup, they put out all this shit that pretty much made it easy for them to grab power from anyone and everyone they wanted to through bureaucracy. As a matter of fact, Palpatine our good old Sith buddy here added more on to it.

One thing that I’m pretty sure everyone else knows, even though we’ve got a shit ton of red tape going through our own government here it’s damn near impossible to do that from any one of our three branches. They try, they always do, but because of the constitution of the United States of America, ahem, “You will fail!” I’m sorry that was just way to damn easy not to do.

So to say that we’re close to but not quiet like the Star Wars franchise is kind of funny. Yes, we are. We’re not exactly like space traveling ninjas that can do some pretty cool looking Dragon Ball Z stuff, nor are our two governmental systems EXACTLY alike, but we have something that they have and it’s political officials causing both division and derision with in our own society.

Palpatine isn’t just one specific person with in our own in real life society. Hell no! Instead he’s an amalgamation of several different things and groups we have going on right now. Social justice warriors, the ones that want to sit there and tell you that we have to accept the what is told to us by their community because no matter the situation they are right and we are wrong and that’s the way we’ve set it up for, I don’t know, millennia now. There’s the politicians that placate to the exact same kind of bullshit that’s been reiterated by the social justice warriors and those who are from the opposite that lets be honest here kind of issue the same rhetoric and year after year slowly increase government power and their paychecks.

There’s also, and you know I don’t like these folks here, big tech. I’m all for a company growing in the free market. I’m all for it becoming a big conglomerate of sorts. What I’m not for is that company monopolizing the market that it’s in, nor am I for that company not obeying the laws of its country of origin. Oh! Yeah almost forgot, here’s the liberal in me if you want to put it that way, I’m also not for these companies blatantly censoring those of a creed, race, political choice, religion, or country of origin. We should all have freedom of speech and be willing to accept the consequences of our actions no matter what caused them. All of those factors and groups are our Palpatine.

One thing that my ass is definitely going to talk about here is the Galactic Republic a little more. If you take a deeper dive in to the Star Wars franchise, you’ll notice something as well. Doing research about the whole Galactic Republic, and then the Galactic Empire there was a promise that further divided people. The promise of safety.

Granted everyone wants to be safe. Hell, I want to be safe, but there’s something to be said about HOW you are safe. Call me heated now because damn this is going to be a touchy one. Are you anymore safer if you relinquish how you are safe? Are you any safer in your very free mind if you have someone forcibly tell you how to be safe? I’m sorry but my answer is always going to be no. As should yours. The Galactic Republic, much like our own government, slowly eroded its own power through bureaucratic policy after bureaucratic policy. Even in the movies you can blatantly see them do this in the few scenes that they hold in the movies. Hell, one of the most famous movie quotes is “So this is how liberty dies…with thunderous applause.”

I’m sorry but there’s always one sure fire way to be able to get people to commit to that, make them afraid then divide them. We see it play out plenty of times a day here in our own country. The news reports things out of context, or completely false on both sides. Legislatures and other government officials will add more laws to try and cover up what we as a nation had as one of our founding documents. Then the radicals from either side will sit there and either fight against it with their utmost or tell the general population that there needs to be more.

It’s not right. Now there is a flipside to this coin. Militarism. And here’s the little gobblety goop that caused me to take pause and add in Starship Troopers to this whole mess. This whole series started off as a book that was written by Robert A. Heinlein. Don’t ask, I don’t know how to seriously pronounce his name. But I’m pretty sure that not many of my readers will know who the hell that is. I’m pretty sure that my readers would know more about the comical movie that was made in the nineties. I sure as hell didn’t know that there was a book written before the movie.

Now I say “Militarism” because that’s pretty much what Starship Troopers is all about. And it sure as hell mirrors other things that are going on now and days as well. The left has been militarized to form groups like “Antifa”. The right now has groups that won’t start a fight, nor are they racist, but sure as hell will finish a fight like “The Proud Boys”. Don’t get me wrong I have no issues with the proud boys, however I don’t think that their answer is quiet the right one. Some of the things that both groups do that could end up looking like some engagement on “Klendathu”.

Basically, though, in the 1950’s this writer Robert A. Heinlein wrote a sci-fi critique of what he believed was wrong with the U.S. at the time. He’d been stated for “glorified the military…Specifically the P.B.I., Poor Bloody Infantry, the mudfoot who places his frail body between his loved home and the wars desolation-but is rarely appreciated…he has the toughest job of all and should be honored.” Cool so he’s a fan of the military right? Well not so fast there. I, as a veteran of the Army, wouldn’t stand for the bullshit in the movies that he put out.

You’re only a citizen if you’ve served two years in the Starship Troopers military. Only citizens can vote. Only citizens have the right to apply for a license to procreate with their partner. I’m sorry but that would be more towards the right side of things. I can’t name a single military veteran that would actually be cool with that. Yeah democrats getting into our highest position in the executive offices would absolutely mean budget cuts. Oh, and that means that they end up drawing back on forces or start kicking out soldiers for the simplest or pettiest of reasons. No that’s not a way to go ahead and start doing things either.

See the thing about Heilein here is that he had a very crazy view on things. He looked at the way that the U.S. was at the time and thought “hey we need to hand out more ass whoopin’s.” I’m sorry what? Yes, that’s right, the guy who wrote Starship Troopers thought that there wasn’t enough corporal and capital punishment now and days.

Now if you said something like all around I might could get around that if we were talking a little less harsh corporal punishments than used to be passed around back in the day. The women suffrage movement should have been an example for just women, but for everyone. We don’t need a repeat of the “rule of thumb” for the next poor soul that fucks up in a way that’s irredeemable to their partner. No, I’m down with corporal punishment if it’s with less severe crimes than the big ones. You know rape, child molestation, man slaughter, stuff like that. I think that we can all agree that child molestation needs to be more punishable than “three squares and a cot”.

But one thing that we’ve shied away from what we use to be, and it caused us as a nation. I’m not suggesting that we all of a sudden put Rico on the stocks and start whipping him. It was negligible homicide, and he didn’t know what he was doing leave the poor kid alone. No, if you really want to keep people together first you have to start with a set of minds that things need to be more punishable than they are. Go ahead and call the child molester out and sentence him to death. It’s been proven that its more cost effective to our jail system anyways, and who in their right or left mind wouldn’t want to protect their own children?

No people, one less murderer is still one less murderer. Make sure there’s a time period where they do a more in-depth investigation to make sure that we’ve got the right guy. Make sure that there weren’t any false allegations handed forward against the person you say is a child molester. But if you’re caught selling drugs to someone that you know are illegal and could get the person addicted then you should absolutely not be a seamstress getting that “three squares and a cot”. No hell no, but the person’s ass to work, make them take responsibility for what they did. Put their ass to work like we use to with chain gangs, there’s plenty of substantive materials that we could use the jail systems help on producing.

Of course, the libertarian in me is going to cry out…right…about…now! There’s something to be said though about repealing other things away. No direct profit for any given company in regard to the labor put for by the “chain gang”. Give the profit nation wide to those we put to labor, have them reap some sort of reward. You commit to A form of corporal punishment and rehabilitate them at the same time. Win, win.

Now that I’m off of my little pulpit there’s something that goes back to topic here. In Starship Troopers there’s one agreement that I can make with author. Some conflicts have to be resolved by force. One thing that I will absolutely agree and disagree with at the same time. We didn’t need to go to Iraq, but we did need to go to Afghanistan. There were terrorists that were wreaking havoc on the whole of Afghanistan and in order for those people to chose for themselves what and who they want to be we needed to weed that shit out. No, we didn’t go there to do that originally. Yes, we went there to get Osama Bin Laden. But it was something that once we found we couldn’t stand for as a nation.

So yes, I agree that if we have an incursion against us, like 9/11, then we have to retaliate just like we did or what happened in Pearl Harbor. But when we find further injustice and the people cry out, well fuck if they ask us for aide then it’s our responsibility to answer. Hell, no should we be looking for “WMD’s”. We all figured out what the ploy was there real quick. Yes, they had a dictator that was gassing them pretty much every day. But the responsibility belongs to those countries around them to take refugee’s and protect them.

So, there’s absolutely an answer to all this division we have…and yeah, we see it all the time in our media. We have to sit on our high horse as a nation and as a people and first cut the division bullshit and then stop being like “Star Wars” or “Starship Troopers” and agree to disagree. I parrot this bullshit all day long and damn near every freaking blog. We need the third party, libertarians, to go ahead and help things along so that the two warring political parties we have right now don’t divide and conquer us. We see this all the time in our movies and books. We have a choice, do we still want looting, rioting, and others reaching across the isle to call each other names and censor them…Or do we want to be like Palpatine and start the first “Galactic Empire” and make everyone fear us?