#They each lasted 2-3 weeks
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This reminds me of those memes with the difference between Kindergarten teachers and high school teachers. This is the difference between my AP English class and my high school science classes.
#kindergarten teachers#high school teachers#AP English was hard core#High School Biology was chaotic#Chemistry teacher set the lab on fire#firetrucks came#Physics teacher went on sabbatical week before school started#H.S. Physics taught by random parents that were engineers and physics faculty at nearby university#They each lasted 2-3 weeks#Convinced most of us not to pursue a profession that required Physics#I use that 5 paragraph theme my Englush teacher taught us every week#Humanities Rules#Quietly
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have a cat
#im kinda fucked cause profs wanted a pack of 10 sketches like this for 8 mins max each#of ppl n pets last week#while we r studying in an online format🚶 like man i havent left house for 3 months n havent seen more than 2 ppl n 2 cats#n i thought ok. ill do it somehow whatever. didnt actually. n then the day of deadline#bro said he wants 40 sketches#i have now. 3 ☜☆☞#but also we have a week left of online classes n then well have to umm go to the uni. n itll kill me. yeah🚶#komashkart#n the rest of those sketches end up ugly as fuck or too detailed for the assignment. ripping the hair out of my bald head gritting teeth
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YOOO I AM /NAWT/ COOKING RN </333
#my art#limbus company#ishmael#sinclair#ishmael lcb#sinclair lcb#emil sinclair#i listened to this scene once at 2 am on a random weekday night and didn't memorize the tone or pacing of it :(#also drew everything over the span of a week during the 30 minutes spout of free-time i had each day LOL#put it all together last night and it does NAWT flow well whatsoever </3
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not to brag about being good at my job but I’ve now developed two separate tools for debugging entirely on my own within my company entirely from scratch without help and A. it makes my job so much fucking easier and B. my boss is thinks im incredible just because im too lazy to want to write the same bits of code over and over just for debugging purposes
#unimportant thoughts#one i wrote 2-3 months ago#but i upgraded it this week to add in even more#and its just. perfect now.#given an id from any of the programs we built and run in our company#i instantaneously return everything about it#its name; what it does; what type of program it is; what server its run on; when it runs; where it connects; the parameters needed to#connect to wherever it connects; whether the program is currently turned on; the last 10 times the program ran; how many minutes each of#those runs took; how many files each of those runs created; whether those runs were successful; code snippets you can copy paste and run in#another window to look at the files created by each of those runs; the files created by the most recent run; thise file names; those file s#sizes; what types of files they are; whether theyre encrypted#how theyre encrypted#all of that and MORE#most of the information was already there but it took fucking 20 minutes to get all the information you needed#and you had to run a bunch of different snippets of code to get all the information and then put it all together#and now you can just fucking pop in the id of the program and .02 of a second later all the information is on your screen#AND IT MAKES MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER#so. so. so. much. easier.#and then this week I wrote another program so I can compare runtimes of two different runs of the same program together based on how we stor#runtime data in our database#csuse i was tired of going back and forth manually between to different runs to compare#so now i have a program that just takes the ids of two different runs and compares them#doesnt even matter if the checkpoints are different I programmed it to figure out the order automatically and plug in any missing holes#finds the differences in runtime automatically and flags the biggest differences#and I can even customize how much of a difference I care about or to hide things I don’t care about
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~
#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase#'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that#[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week#and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me#but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it#and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me#i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no#but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like#300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3#ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good#'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them
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True love is unbound
#no strings attached!#shumika#I have a few things to note:#1. I put thought/easter eggs? into the colours! hint is their eyes#2. there are no accidents in certain details#3. their outfits and jewellery are matching (see also 1 and 2)#yeah that's it#designing the dresses was tons of fun omg#colouring them not so much#but deciding how the colours of the dresses would match each other was fun. and making the dresses match without being the exact same design#unfortunately shu's rosy little cheeks did not make the final cut. the colours washed him out but it was for the greater good 😔#I think that's all I've gotta say#sorry I haven't posted art in a hot minute... I'm quite slow...#gonna work on that wip from last week now! byebye!#or that mtisuru drawing I've been planning for a while... we'll see...#valkyrie enstars#ensemble stars#enstars#mikashu#my art#fanart#kagehira mika#mika kagehira#itsuki shu#shu itsuki#ALSO#THE THEME HERE IS LOVE <3333#hence the caption#and strings#gone
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It’s kind of a cosmic joke that my PMDD started hitting exactly 12hrs after my birthday ended.
#cw: PMDD#cw: suicidal ideation#just a small vent sesh:#truly is a test of mental and emotional strength every month#like I know the feelings I’m feeling (worthlessness being a big one rn) isn’t based in reality#of course I have worth. ofc I bring something to the table#but my emotions (and my regulation skills) don’t care#the feelings are big and demanding to be felt. and sometimes that demand also feels like a demand to be believed#and tbh I’ve been dealing with this for over a decade now and am almost expert level in dealing with it#but it’s still exhausting#and more often than not I’m hoping each months cycle brings meltdowns and shutdowns#rather than my entire world view being turned on its head and the next 2 weeks I’m just parrying thoughts about#my self worth or how everyone is mad at me or hates me and the inevitable suicidal ideation that often pairs with those thoughts#I don’t really have a point other than PMDD sucks#it’s exhausting for my brain to be my 1 enemy 2/3 out of every month#I think I’m just struggling with that last bit more than usual today
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Our love is made of teeth, and it will rip us to shreds
#warrior nun#ava silva#warrior nun adriel#warrior nun fandom#wn fandom#warrior nun edit#my edit#otp#moodboard#ship moodboard#ship aesthetic#m/f#web weaving#heroine x villain#ava x adriel#avadriel#it seems the chapter i'm currently working on will take even longer than i thought and it's driving me to a meltdown 🥴#it's already taking months... i'm frustrated with myself both for taking long and having this reaction to it 😑#ridiculous thing is i have ONE wn wip i'm currently actively working on despite having a lot of ideas for this ship#like... 2 or 3 new ones came to mind last week 🤪 but i've restrained myself so far from starting anything new#for some reason my wn chapters tend to be long descriptive and detailed#this web weawing thing (?) looks like it should suit atsbb#because you'd expect archangel michael and the beast to be doomed if they fall in love... but no the idea's different 😈#i'm proud of the quote i thought up and added last minute 😌 could be a good ao3 title actually#these two... as a ship they should be doomed and destined to hurt each other but for some reason my fics don't reflect that#that would be more him and areala... so i guess there is one idea half suiting this where ava is areala reincarnated
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the snack hoarding is starting to get dire lads
#7#v fortunate to no longer be food insecure but i still have this habit of stockpiling snacks in my room. real squirrel mode#i could have 5 packs of an extra large bag of whatever that'll last me 2 weeks each pack but i'll still be like. well if i open another#then i only have 4 left and if i open that then it's 3 which is basically 2 which means i'm on my last life and also what if every single#shop within a 100 mile radius simultaneously shuts for the unforeseeable future and i didn't go buy 10 packs of whatever. i'll die#i could go put all of these snacks downstairs to at least have some space to move around my room but they're MY snacks#and even though nobody is going to eat my snacks what if it like floods downstairs or it goes off bc i forget about it. then i have 0 snack
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There's an English class on Golden Age detective fiction being offered next semester but the prerequisite for it is the intro to literary study class required for all English majors (which I haven't taken because I'm in a hard STEM major and don't have much time for electives, which means that I have to be really picky with my electives and only go for stuff I like AND doesn't have an awful workload) and also even if I did have that prereq, I wouldn't be able to take the class because it's at the same time as one of my major reqs. And also I'll be in two labs next semester and one of them is pure hell so like I literally don't have the time to take more than 13 credit hours (as tempting as it is to keep up my streak of taking 17-18 every semester even though it's been like really pretty bad for my social life and hobbies). Sigh. (Pressing my hand wistfully against the glass) maybe someday they'll offer the class again
#.txt#at least i had a blast in my sci-fi class this semester#i don't talk about sf on this blog because that's what my secret main is for but guys i LOVE sf you should read more sf#i'm currently sitting at an a+ in that class and my professor has been giving me SUCH good feedback on all my assignments#he used one of my short essays as the class example (which has never happened to me before!)#and also asked if he could use my creative writing midterm project as an example for future classes#and on the last day of class he quickly went through some powerpoint slides recapping the class#and on one of them he had a drawing i submitted as part of a different creative assignment :)#also we read a book from one of my all-time favorite authors in that class AND he visited our class too which was absolutely insane#won't mention the author's name because his books comprise like half the posts on my main. i'm insaaaaane i'm craaaazyyy#currently trying to figure out which topic to write my final paper on but i will definitely be writing about that book#english classes are actually such a morale boost#the only reason i'm not an english major is because that would actually for real kill me#i'm good at writing essays but the process is actually agonizing and i'm a ridiculous perfectionist when it comes to writing#so combining that with poorly medicated adhd means that i almost never turn essays in on time#and spend way too long suffering over each one to make sure they're as perfect as i can get them to be (unattainable standard)#and then they also always end up going way over the word count#for my crime fiction class in the spring i wrote a 19-page final paper about decagon house when i only needed a minimum of 8#and i honestly could have written even more but i had to stop myself because the paper was already like 2 or 3 days late#and i had been staying up until dawn every night trying to finish it#so basically i can hardly handle having ONE english class#having to take multiple and turn in so many essays on a regular basis is a literal death sentence#i'm taking 2 upper level classes for my other major (haven't declared it yet though) this semester#and i have to write final papers for both of them :') and the instructions are super vague and they're due in a WEEK#one of them is SLIGHTLY more clear because i just need to write about the results of my research project#however. i was unfortunately only given 3 weeks (one of which was thanksgiving so basically i was only given 2)#to design and execute this whole project#and i got a little too ambitious (as i tend to do) and even though i ended up cutting out a lot of the stuff i wanted to do from the projec#it'll still definitely take ages to finish (conducted my experiments yesterday and spent 11 hours in that building. hell on earth)#and that's on top of needing to study for and take 3 final exams...
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hearing Alan talk about how much he liked Albert Grossman and Eric talk about how much he liked Brian Epstein makes my tiny emotional brain implode like GHGhHhh the Animals' actual manager was Not Good!!!!!!! they were actively looking at the managers of their contemporaries and wished they could've had that instead!!!!!!! ��
#alan's been talking A LOT about 'dont look back' at his concerts recently and g o s h everytime he does.... connie across the ocean weeps#especially since he talked about getting to know the bob squad in new york really well at first (WHICH I HAD A HUNCH ABOUT FOR A LONG TIME)#meaning that even when he was still touring with the animals!!!! he really looked up to albert!!!!!!!!!!!!#it wasn't just a case or him rushing to the bob squad after he left the animals for clout.... which i also been knew#IT WAS OUT OF COMFORT. SOLIDARITY. A NEED TO BE AROUND FAMILIAR FACES WHO WOULDN'T JUDGE HIM. GAHH G HHH#it hurts even more because ACCORDING TO ALAN.... bob and albert even asked him to join bob on tour!?!?!??#i have no idea what point the hawks entered the picture exactly bUT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE#hURTS ALL THE MORE. NO WONDER BOB WAS SO FRIENDLY WITH HIM AGHGGSGGGHFJDJDJDJSJ#alan couldn't do it because the fear of flying was just too strong... which bob completed respected and didn't try to force it#g o s h..... the universe where alan backed bob on keys....... wow#joan and bob.2: 'yayyyayaya!! alan price!!'#aNYWAY. HEARING ABOUT ALAN'S CONCERT LAST WEEK REALLY MADE MY BRAIN COLLAPSE.#also the bit about eric is also true..... he constantly talks about brian in his first autobio#constantly talks about how good of a manager he was and how he wishes they could've had brian instead 😭😭😭#ironic that the animals also eventually had a connection to allen klein through mickie most.... ggahhhhhhhhhhh#JEFFERIES. YOU TRAUMATIZED THEM. *shakes fist*#anyway..... at least alan and eric had each other <3 *proceeds to draw and write fix-it scenarios about them*#okay going to resume working on my 'misunderstood' project..... just finished the art eeeeee#i DREW CHAS AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE YESTERDAY!!!!!! 😄 btw. another Good Manager. he is a mother.#alan price#eric burdon#the animals#things i said today#mental illness is really strong today#dr pepper and 'shouts across the street' time#aleric#hehhehe haha heheh hehe teehee *explodes*
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Me, the other night: "I may be going through a fuck of a life situation, but it could always be worse if I broke a flower pot in the shower again."
Me, today, waking up with a swollen and painful mouth infection:
#im in too much pain to find a better react#im so fucking tired#when will life stop throwing me multiple curveballs?? i dont even know how to juggle!!#im just getting hit in the face with each curveball. and it feels like it today too holy shit#im in the middle of teeth alignments for treating my tmj pain idk how im gonna go thru another root canal#my first root canal was only preceeded by hot/cold sensitivity. it never got swollen or hot#im so exhausted man. at least the regular dentist can see me today and hopefully give me antibiotics#im on immunosuppressants so i was crying this morning like damn im gonna have to go to the er for this i wont survive the weekend#im so upset tho it took me forever to fill my last prescription. so dont jinx it but i might still need to keep that er plan on hold#the good thing ab that tho is my back mri is tomorrow which is at the local er so i can do the mri and walk right over if needed#i just dont understand how this could happen i brush and floss after everything i eat or drink (so at least 3 times a day. thoroughly.)#bad genetics and stress strikes again i guess#vent#Cori.exe#Post.exe#god and i spent the last 2 days stress picking my face too so i look ROUGH right now#everything sucks lol#its right over where my wisdom tooth would have been too so like. way back there. im gonna be drinking soup for weeks#rip coris jaw. never had a chance
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just finished my lab in an hour and everyone else is still like halfway through… gonna be embarrassing if i dont get good marks on that
#got a 70 on my lab last week L!! but whatever#i have 3 hours to do each lab for perspective and i usually take like 2 hours#they do usually give us longer than we need just in case tho#idk i think it was shorter this week i just had to do a table and a graph and a couple of short answer questions 🤷♂️
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#it's my last shift in 2 days and then i'm leaving this job i'm actually so happy i no longer has to work there! 🎉#i need to find a new one asap of course but i never had energy to do so on my off days so i'll focus on that now#i've endured the hardest shifts with freezing -25-30 °C where the heater conditioner did absolutely nothing#shifts with the roof leaking trying to not let the orders of customers get wet constantly wiping shelves throughout 2 days on top#of everything i has to do#these past 2 days sewage system froze and i had no water to wash my hands or use the restroom properly..🤦♀️#i know the wet hand wipes are bad for ecology but man they continously saved me and also i had to wash my hands using water from kettle and#i had to do it outside freezing of course because the sink and restroom are in another building and i didnt have time to constantly walk#there.. and this on top of 2 last weeks of december being especially batshit crazy stressful and having heated karen encounters each shift.#and it was so hard on me because i am a nonconfrontational person and i don't like arguing with people#but i learned so much in these months of working there and for that experience i am still grateful :")#it's bittersweet that i won't see the friendly regulars that were always kind to me anymore tho 😔 and my coworker came yesterday#and we spoke for like an hour or so and he said he is is sad that i'm leaving because i'm such a nice person and a great coworker 🥺#ngl this made me sad too but life goes on.. he said he'll be leaving in a month too#said he didn't think that i'll leave first 😂#i woke up almost an hour ago from 3 bg3 related dreams in a row btw 😂🤦♀️ i need to play 🙈 ok i need to get up first..😭#tbd
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Fuck It Friday (also on saturday bc fuck it)
tagged by @itwoodbeprefect ❤️ ❤️
I’ve been doing a lot of rereading of the 23k of state of disrepair that’s already written and very little writing of it so here. y’all can join me in that.
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“Again, I understand why you had to go on this little Eat Pray Love trip.”
Steve looks up, slightly startled, but doesn’t get a chance to say anything before Danny continues.
“And I’m not mad at you about it. But if you ever leave me again, Steven, I will kill you myself.” It doesn’t come out quite as rock-hard as Danny might have liked, softened by a miniscule waver in his voice at the end. Most people wouldn’t even pick it up, but he hears it, so he’s sure Steve does too.
“No vacations without Danny. I’ll write it down.” When Danny looks over at him, he’s looking back, quiet and heavy, solemn enough that Danny knows he understood.
“Exactly,” he replies. “Don’t start taking too long at the store either, or I’ll be heading for the kitchen knives.”
Steve shakes his head. “Of course your murder weapon of choice would be a butcher blade.”
“Don’t demean the classics,” Danny chides. “They got many a housewife out of a bad marriage.”
“You know, I don’t think I like the turn this conversation is taking.”
Danny stops, considers, and frowns. “Me neither. I think I just called myself a housewife.”
“And this a bad marriage,” Steve adds, gesturing between them, an offended emphasis on ‘bad’.
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tagging @faorism @bookwhimses @osointricate @thomtrebond if any of y’all care to *to the tune of Devo’s Whip It* fuck it
#my writing#itwoodbeprefect#Hawaii Five 0#McDanno#state of disrepair#once again am i ever not thinking about aloha? doubtful#this is from chapter 2 and i did figure out last week what my chapter beats were#1 is setup (premise + fic vibes); 2 is working out lingering Aloha feelings/tension; 3 is fake-married reveal + first kiss;#4 is Crisis. Escalation. y'know that little peak on the story structure diagram; 5 is diagnosis (of both Steve's medical issue#and the reason they keep kissing each other) (spoilers they're in love); 6 is resolution + actual getting together#6.5 is going home epilogue if i decide to keep that#(to be clear when i say 3 is fake-married reveal. reveal to Steve and Cath bc prior to that only Danny knows he's created that Situation)#(the medical staff remain under the impression they're married the entire time bc well. they kinda are)#mine
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don’t you love it when ur friend forgets about u and ignores ur existence the second she’s near her best friend
#/sarcastic#but ugh i feel like an idiot#like yes i understand she’s ur best friend ur super close u know each others deepest darkest secrets u have inside jokes etc#but why the fuck are u completely ignoring me??#no eye contact not a single word to me and i have not idea what u guys are talking ab and im RIGHT HERE#like i know im short but i know u can fucking see me#the past few weeks have been nice we’ve hung out a few times and talked and it’s good#but the second her bestie is there is like i don’t exist#like am i missing something?? i know her bestie doesn’t hate me bc she said hi and hugged me#but she was also low key ignoring me and not including me in the conversation so i’m also annoyed with her#tbh from now on i won’t initiate convos with her like idc im sick of feeling like she’s only friends with me as a last resort#bc fun fact: we didn’t talk much for about 2 years and then out of the blue asks if we want to hang out months after she had a fight with#someone and lost all her friends except like 3#so idc i don’t wanna drag this on anymore#ok rant over time to enjoy my boba#ani’s stuff
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