#They always know somebody “taking advantage of the government”

[rainbowchaox]

Pissa Headcanon Post:

1) Philza likes to hug Missa with his wings a lot. He is always sorta hovering next to Missa. Missa is cold? Wing. Missa is hot? Wing. Missa is happy? Wing. Missa is sad? Wing. Missa despite this doesn’t realize this is unusual for a avian to be so affectionate. I like to imagine Missa just think this is normal for avians to act like this.

2) Philza is protective of their shared home because in his avian brain that’s their nest. Which is why he is so reluctant to let people access and why he always reminds people it’s “Phil and Missa”. Because it’s theirs. Not his. Missa doesn’t realize this is big. Someone needs to slap his brain with a book about avian courting rituals. Philza has started courting Missa from practically day 1. Missa doesn’t know this. Again someone help him.

3) Missa has been gifted Phil’s feathers and the fact that avians only gift feathers to someone they are courting. Philza would even braid the feathers into Missa hair. As a subtle way to say back off.

4) Missa is taller than Phil. Despite this Phil will pick up Missa easily. I imagine soon into their government assigned marriage Phil realized it’s the best course of option to do to get Missa out of sticky situations. Phil will also perch on his shoulder when he really decides to be playful.

5) Because of Avian instincts Philza really want to preen Missa. But obviously he doesn’t has wings. So instead he tends to play with his hair a lot. And take out whatever debris Missa managed to get in it. He will literally take out like twigs out of Missa hair in front of people once it started bothering him.

6) Missa had to learn quickly how to preen Phil’s wings. And high-key he is the best at preening on the island. Even more so than other Avians. Because boy was high-key must be the best for his husband. Especially considering Phil tends to get his wings dirty easily from all the exploring and adventuring.

7) Like most Avians if you touch his wings randomly Phil would probably attempt some sort of violence. The only people that have unlimited wing access without asking is literally his family and Missa. Again Missa would not realize how big a deal this is. Missa can fully touch Phil’s wings anytime. And knowing Missa would take advantage because softness.

8) Phil avian side immediately found Missa attractive because he was a good singer (a common way for avians to court). Phil is abyssal at singing so the common way he courted is with so much gifts and acts of service.

9) The reason Phil stopped sleeping in the double bed Missa and him shared is because Missa scent left and that made him low key depressed. The main reason behind once Missa came back Philza and him had a massive cuddle.

10) I like to imagine once Missa came back Philza was finally free of most of his stress. His wings not a mess. No eye-bags. Skin clear. Smiling at everything and nothing. And the only thing that happened was Missa coming back. And others that never met Missa and Philza before Missa went away are kinda scared. Because Philza the angel of death himself is all soft and happy. Not dying of stress 24/7.

11) It’s my personal belief that Avians are private but very affectionate. So Philza is actually very affectionate towards Missa. Missa meanwhile can’t handle Philza complimenting him and saying good things about him. Missa is so weak for verbal affection. Please somebody give the poor guy some confidence.

12) Philza is one of the few people that Missa feels safe enough around to take off his skull mask. Most of the island has never seen Missa without his mask.

[jewish-vents]

i am SO sick and tired of the usage of zionism amongst goyim. the obsession around this word in general makes me lose my mind because i don’t think goyim should be even using it, since they don’t get it and they probably never will. all they did was twist this word and turn into a fucking slur, as if it’s an insult. even people who are pro-peace and aren’t into the idea that israelis deserve to die avoid being associated with zionism like the plague, which is fine. you should identify in whatever way you like, but i feel like zionism has been taken out of context by goyim to an extent that the only definition this word carries is negative and evil. and while zionism does have different types, like the political one that people in the israeli government take advantage of, the core of zionism means no harm. all it means throughout my life in israel as a jew is supporting the existence of israel and that we have a right to live in our ancestral homeland. that’s literally it. nothing about violence, nothing about persecution, nothing about fascism, and nothing about palestine to begin with. goyim always assume for some reason that zionism = kahanism which just. isn’t exactly correct. like you should definitely oppose kahanism because it really is bad but ffs stop being so obsessed about a jewish movement (i’m talking about zionism not kahanism obviously) that has been around for more than a century. it traces back to our history and culture, you cannot separate it from our roots. not to mention the fact that this word is in hebrew, and this all just feels like cultural appropriation to me. they took zionism and destroyed the values it held, the struggle and the pain jews had to face during their years in the diaspora, they’ll never get it. we belong to zion, and nobody can take the connection that we have to this land away from us. no gaslighting, no propaganda, and no hatred will help these crybabies.

zionists are just regular human beings and aren’t monsters, they don’t want to kill children, and the majority stands against the fascists who sit in the israeli government. i wish everyone could just shut up already and normalize the fact that most people who identify as zionist want peace and two state solution as much as the next person does. extremists don’t represent us and for some reason goyim can’t distinguish that. it angers me so much

also seeing zionism on goyim’s dni criteria while they put it next to antisemitism will never fail to make me laugh. they think supporting the existence of the only jewish state is as evil as nazism, what the heck. like it’s okay to criticize israel but how come wanting israel to be destroyed into oblivion is cool and heroic exactly? or dehumanizing an entire group of people cuz idk… somebody on tiktok or twitter told you. i know it’s debatable, but antizionism = antisemitism and nobody can convince me otherwise. they will always treat us like scum of the earth

.

[itsallpoliticsstupid]

Throughout the election, I maintained to my boyfriend that I couldn't call who would win. Because it was just too close. I think that was always untrue, in my heart I always knew that Kamala didn't have a chance at becoming President.

I think there are a number of reasons for this. The car crash of a Presidential debate between Biden and Trump; the way she became the democratic candidate; her stance on the Israel/Gaza war, which turned away a lot of her more 'traditional' voters; the fact that, outside of abortion, there didn't seem to be any other real issue that she was running on - I mean I could literally go on and on. But it just felt everything was against her.

For me though, it boils down to 3 major issues:

The Economy

The fact Biden decided to run for a second term

'Democracy' (e.g. the way she became candidate)

And other Political Analysts will likely disagree with me, but I'm used to it.

The Economy

We look first at the economy. This is a huge motivating factor to why somebody would vote for a candidate. Under the democrats cost of living has increased, and people are struggling to maintain a good quality of life.

An average voter is going to ascribe that to the Government, and in this case the Democrats.

They're not going to know, or care, that the cost of living increase is a global issue caused by world events. Such as the War in Ukraine, War in the Middle East and Climate Change making large scale production more difficult due to the instability of the land.

So if the opposing Political Party are using that big issue to their advantage, claiming that they will help lower taxes for the normal working family, of course that's going to be an incentive to vote for them regardless of the other issues surrounding that candidate/party.

Biden's decision to stand

I think the moment Biden decided to go for a second term was the moment the democrats had no hope of winning the election.

It had become apparent quite late on in his presidency that he was struggling with his neurological health and it should have been advised much earlier that he shouldn't run for a second term.

Had he stepped away much earlier, they could have bought in a candidate who could run from the off. Somebody who would be able to put what they stood for across much earlier, and could really make an impact in an election.

Because really, who knows what Kamala stood for? Outside of the abortion rights, I can't tell you one thing. Yes, I wanted her to win, but that's because I do believe Trump will cause damage globally. But, I don't know what Kamala's policies were. Or what she really stood for. It felt like the democrats were more interested in damaging the Republican party's image than really showing what they were about.

In essence, negative campaigning. Which came to a head when she referred to him as a fascist.

And it just goes to show that negative campaigning doesn't work.

Democracy (How she became the candidate)

This leads me to the final point. How Kamala became candidate. In a parliamentary system, nobody would blink twice if you had a change of leader candidate half way through an election. Because you vote for the party, not the candidate.

I think changing the candidate half way through this election process made people feel a bit...off. And is probably why so many people said that threat to democracy was a core issue for them. Because, if it was mainly democrats answering the threat to democracy being a core issue, the election would have been a hell of a lot different.

Anyway, that's just my opinion and assessment.

It sucks right now but, as I said in my country after Brexit, you will get through, whether in the US or in another country. It will be a deeply uncertain, challenging time, but all you can do right now is have faith that things won't be as bad as we all believe.

Take care of yourselves in America. I may wait for the next 4 years to pass before reconsidering relocating over there for work.

[beanghostprincess]

Trans fem buggy anon back at it again with the brainrot

Crocodile going Full Mafia Boss Husband is so near and dear to me, but like. That makes Buggy the Mafia Boss Wife.

And I dunno smth about the clichés about that is so wild to me bc I feel like she'd fit that bill so well and yet so very NOT at the same time.

There is One Woman Crocodile Listens To, and it's his wife. He sometimes listens to Mihawk as well, but for different reasons. Mihawk ALSO listens to Buggy for the same reasons as Croc. It's not that Buggy is conventionally powerful, it's a mix of Happy Wife, Happy Life, and Buggy somehow slotting so well into the fold and running the backdrop with both efficiency, flair, and endearing fuck ups.

Buggy absolutely endears herself to many of Croc's business associates, charming them out the ass, and they think this mouthy little clown is a bit of a ditz and doesn't Get It, so they talk more freely around her. None of them catch that little glint in her eye as she listens attentively, making notes to ferry back to Crocodile and Mihawk both. Oh? You have big plans in the future? A loan, you say? Oh well golly, yes, I've been there before, teehee, tell me more, mister~

She has more dirt on the underbelly organizations than most can fathom, all locked up nice and neat in a code written lovingly in her fluffy heart shaped neon blue and green notebook.

She plays the role of eye candy well, and she likens it to playing on stage.

Behind the scenes, she's mouthy, bold, sharp, and useful, learning the tells and systems, realigning her general management with this new information, much to her husbands' surprise. Crocodile absolutely spoils her and Mihawk both rotten, but it's a mutual affair.

Buggy just having these wildly powerful men wrapped around her finger.

((And her fans/underlingsbare just gobbling it up bc THAT'S THEIR CAPTAIN, yeah captain Buggy is a QUEEN and she is SO GOOD AT THIS WOOOOO-))

MEANWHILE

The world government: she's a clown. Wait she was Roger's? Okay. Alright. A threat. We can mitigate this. A warlord - shit. Fuck the warlord system is going down. Oh God. Okay. Uhhh. We'll just drop a bounty. Yeah. That's good - Oh. Oh my God. Holy fuck did she just recruit MIHAWK and CROCODILE?? Okay. Emperor, then. It's fine. This is fine - THEY'RE MARRIED?!?!? WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

The whole mafia concept with Cross Guild just fits so well. I mean, you've seen Crocodile already, he was literally made for that scenery. Crocodile and Mihawk may handle the money and men, but Buggy as a "trophy wife who looks dumb but actually knows what's going on all the time and keeps pulling the strings" is just amazing. Crocodile listens to two people only and he trusts them with his life. Buggy might seem like only a sexy bimbo clown but she actually could murder somebody violently on the spot and both Crocodile and Mihawk would stare at her with pride and then buy her all the things she wants. She's actually extremely strategic and intelligent and she's pretty much the one who makes all the plans since she knows the most about everybody they need to take advantage of.

And it's not even the dynamic which, I mean, it's pretty obviously a mafia dynamic but-- The whole aesthetic too? These three are just constantly giving "mafia boss x femme fatale wife x mysterious murderous husband". Crocodile sitting at his desk, Mihawk by his side and Buggy sitting on his lap? The image won't leave my head. It's just so, so good for them.

Not to mention that the Marines are all extremely frightened of this trio and Buggy's history and won't even dare to come close to them because they don't even know how the hell this relationship happened. And it's concerning and scary and they might end up dead if they approach them.

But yeah, this whole thing lives in my mind rent-free all the time and this is exactly how I imagine them. Cross Guild is just a mafia and Buggy always gets what she wants because she gets the job done and both Crocodile and Mihawk genuinely love her to death. Like literally. Don't touch her. You'll die.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

More DSMP Techno thoughts.

Technoblade is literally one of the most generous people on the server. Like, in fic, Niki is always the one most characterized as generous (which is still accurate), but Technoblade is GENUINELY the most generous. From Netherite Armor, to helping Connor even though he had no reason to. To going to see Dream, even knowing it was a trap because he needed to make sure he wasn't dead. His whole rational behind his Anarchism is that People over Government. Helping others until they can stand on their own. Literally the most generous on the server.

Techno's generosity is such an endearing trait of his not to mention very important in analysing him as a character since it actually ties into a lot of other aspects about him I really adore.

Firstly, there's his planning and how he never wants to be caught off guard (sometimes to the point of paranoia). Technoblade is a great fighter and some of that is his impressive raw skill - as demonstrated when fighting Quackity in the tunnel post failed execution with low gear - but he's also an amazing tactician and strategist and he knows coming prepared is half the battle (as Sun Tzu's teachings also invoke). cc!Techno found this important enough to highlight when he went over dsmp lore, how he hated it when people boiled down c!Techno to being a good fighter because he's just 'that cracked' and not because he spends so much time and effort on preparation. Techno gives very freely to his allies during Pogtopia and to those he considers on his side, because it's the smart thing to do. Being generous there is simply clever battle tactics.

Then later on we see his generosity become extremely relevant as Techno digs more into the theoretics of anarchism and how to effectively spread it on the server (cc!Techno did the research and by extension c!Techno shows the growth and changing perspective). Mutual aid is one of the main pillars of most anarchistic beliefs, with the idea that goods should be shared among people so everybody can be self-sufficient and there's no dependency on government. This also means no hoarding of resources and giving without expecting anything in return. We see this come to fruition in the Arctic commune and among the syndicate too, where people definitely own things but there's little care for going into other people's chests and taking stuff when needed. Sometimes even without asking (though often with asking because it's the polite thing to do). Techno does not seem to view his own actions as generosity but rather as self-evident.

Lastly, there's of course the fact that Gift Giving very much seems to be Techno's main love language. He clearly values gifts he gets from others, including those that have no practicality or 'worth' (ie the blue from Ghostbur he refuses to throw away). Getting the ax from Ranboo was one of the more significant shows of care and consideration anybody on the dsmp had ever given Techno and he was clearly touched by it, plus it's a turning point in their relationship. And he's prone to giving his loved ones gifts too. Tying in with the first point and with the fact that Techno is very protective of his friends, a lot of his gifts do serve a very practical use of being the kind of things that will keep them safe (armor, weapons, supplies,...). I think that's very telling for who Techno is as a person.

A last thing I want to touch on is that Techno's generosity is nicely contrasted with his disdain for people taking advantage of him (falls in the category of betrayal and 'using him' that Techno is particularly wary of). When Tommy took his gapples without asking repeatedly even while Techno told him to stop, Techno was clearly very annoyed. It was not the taking itself that bothered him as much, but the fact that Tommy refused to respect a clear boundary.

Funnily enough, he also got annoyed that one time somebody yoinked his foxes, though he was not annoyed somebody took them or even that they took them without asking.... he was annoyed because the person that took his foxes took the ones he could use to breed more. He even remarked that if they had yoinked a baby and an adult - leaving Techno with two breedable adults himself - he would not have cared. He specifically got upset because they took the foxes from him in a way that created a scarcity of resources. This is also very mutual aid/anarchy aligned and that amuses me.

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 267, Replies Part 2

1) “Oh look at that Endeavor doll. Oh boy, I don`t remember if we already saw something about Hawks truly being a fan of him from such a young age, but boy I don`t think Endeavor would approve of this, even though he also was with his own program to groom a kid into becoming a “very special hero” and all that.”-It’s complex, but Endeavour, even at his worst, wouldn’t exactly have been ok with a young talented kid getting turned into a government wetwork man. That said, it’s also implied that he genuinely has no idea that Hawks was ever his fan, even when they met as pro heroes, making the parallels to his own ‘training’ with Shoto darkly ironic. If it was his kid, then he had more of a say in the matter, but if it was somebody else’s child, then he’d have objected to it swiftly. 2) “Yeah, that much I`m definitely sure we haven`t seen anything about. I don`t remember Hawks saying that he was inspired by endeavor on becoming a hero, he only gave that bullshit about heroes not having to work.”- That was his stated goal, but personally, he always held a quiet admiration for the ‘hero’ Endeavour, without actually knowing the man underneath. Clearly, that was also part of the reason why he proposed they work together, so he could learn more about his childhood idol. 3) “Oh you poor thing, you had no idea of the darkness that light was obfuscating. Holy hell, if only you knew the monster you unknowingly admired…”- Ironically, Hawks, who is a master at obfuscating his true intentions and personality, likewise admired a man who had some hidden secrets in his private life, and both men were completely oblivious to the parallels. 4) “don`t bother Hawks, Horikoshi wouldn`t reveal if the theories are right or wrong that easily. He`s gonna give some cryptic clue and fuck off, like he usually has done so far.”- Or he will reveal something, but still leave the readers in the actual dark about what it is. Certainly put a lot of fuel on the theorising about Dabi on initial release, I can tell you that. 5) “…

now hold the fuck on there

is this for real? Is horikoshi really doing this?

Now that`s just dishonest with us. Not cool Hori.”- You got your answers, not his fault if you can’t hear them. 6) “Oh, right, didn`t the doctor said it would take around 15 minutes for them to be 100% up and running? I don`t remember the exact time, but even so, the fight is giving them the chance to warm up, and dear god, are they closer than ever to getting to full power.”- They’ve shaken off the lethargy, and with that, Mirko’s own time limit- that she can still keep fighting despite the blood loss from her crushed limb – has more or less run out. Her slim advantage just went up in smoke. 7) “What is it girl? Getting ready to get serious? Gonna really obliterate them before you bleed to death? What`s your plan? What does an one-winged angel form of a rabbit even look like?”- If she can’t kill them, she’ll at least accomplish her objective before they kill her. 8) “But yeah, the doc. I don`t even remember where he went after Mirko almost snapped him in half with a kick. Was he trying to wake Shigaraki? I think he was. Also, when is Shiggy gonna wake from his nap-nap?”- If Mirko has her way, never. 9) “MIRKO PLEASE

DON`T

I KNOW WHAT YOU`RE PLANNING

YOU ALREADY LOST AN ARM

DON`T PULL THAT THING FROM YOUR LEG WITH A KICK OR I SWEAR TO GOD-“- If he had succeeded in pulling Mirko’s leg off, she’d have tried again with the other one. Lost that? She’d have tried again with the stumps. 10) “OH SHIT, IS THAT A FLAME BEHIND THE NOMU? DID ENDEAVOR GOT HERE?

ALSO, LOOK AT THAT, DABI IS BACKING DOWN, SEEMS LIKE TOKOYAMI MANAGED TO GET THERE ON TIME”-Sometime, a lone hero just isn’t skilled enough to save the day on their own. It’s for times like that, they have allies who can help support them when they need it most.  (MHA ch 257) 11) “see, even Tokoyami realized you fucked up the future by saying that out-loud. Now he`ll just move a bit away from you on the couch, in hope that this tempting of fate won`t befall him as well. “- Alas, it seems that he was too close and caught a bit of that ‘doom magnet’ luck there, because he’s now facing a decisively insane killer alone with zero backup and moreover, one whose quirk has an elemental advantage over his own…  (MHA ch 259) 12) “Alright, now its time to get things started. Last time we had the Heroes returning from their rapture, and getting ready for the showtime, which, of course, won`t be pretty. Yeah, I`m already counting on a few of them not coming back- looking at you Tokoyami.”- You even somehow picked up on the potential ‘Roast Chicken’ jokes to go with Tokoyami’s situation, as he prepares to join his mentor in the deep fryer….  (MHA ch 265) 13) “Oh, let`s just say…. a little bird told them about it… wink wink.

A bird that is about to become a rotisserie chicken I`m afraid, but we`ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”-  So, when you said a ‘little bird’, did you mean Hawks or Tokoyami? Together, they do make one whole bird after all…

14) “Stain would be so fucking pissed at all this. Villains killing heroes and other innocent people not because they want to fix a broken system, but because they want to be the ones on top of it all. If he ever escapes he`s gonna have a lot of new names on his kill list before he goes back to murdering heroes.”-

“Look upon your work, ye mighty, and despair…”

The price of setting out to change things is that the changes you create are most likely not the ones you envisioned. @thelreads

[maryelizagreg]

It’s very important to keep a low profile extremely low profile on purpose. It’s goes beyond quiet luxury. It’s called hiding in plain sight and making sure no one can catch a scent on your trail. There’s still will Built people who can catch a scent on your trail, but you must pray for protection and have proper security measures in place and be very thoughtful about the things you do what you give and how you do it, etc..

I’ve learned the hard way as well that if you have something that somebody else might want, they might take it. They just might even people you would least expect.

I’ve learned to let anyone know where I live or where my home is truly because it just leaves too much opportunity

I’ve also learned that there needs to be no exceptions to this list and I mean none not even significant others 

You do not open your legs or your wallet in front of anyone and I mean anyone even those who really interest you you keep a modest composure, demure and stay out of sight out of mind as best you can. It’s ideal to remain covered from head to toe to wear your necklace of protection And to pray in church once a week at least

I really mean this, trust no body- become self reliant. Strengthen the things no one can take from you. Protect yourself, prepare. Because no one else has your back. I promise you this. No one.

Don’t rely on anyone- especially not, the government.

Everything is commerce sales capitalism and this lends a tendency to abuse and corruption in every corner and crevice. If you can be taken advantage of in xyz scenario like if you can imagine a vulnerability- you will be.

Stay away. Stay out of the picture. Like a ghost, untraceable. Throw them off your scent, remain ten steps ahead- always. Prepare for the worst- no, yes- that worse.

And don’t let anyone know you know these things. Don’t let anyone know you know. Don’t let anyone know what you know. Don’t let anyone know you know anything- especially about them- but especially about yourself. Remain disguised, always. Do not break character. Ever. People are always watching. Even in the moments you think they are not or you would least expect- that’s when they are.

And those closest to you- those are the ones you should trust the least, unfortunately.

“Choose your idols wisely.” -Lana Del Rey

[canadianvesselregistry]

Tips To Avoid BC Boat Registration Fraud

Although the BC boat registration process may appear cumbersome at first, several protections are in place to protect you from dishonest persons who may try to take advantage of you. The most common way to defraud boat owners is by charging purchases to a stolen or fictitious credit card over the phone or by mail.

Con artists often use high-pressure sales techniques to trick victims into giving over sensitive information, including bank account details, credit card information, driver’s license numbers, and passwords.

Be careful of anybody who approaches you claiming to be from the Canadian Coast Guard; they may be impostors seeking to steal your identity. The following advice will help you avoid being taken advantage of by con artists whose sole motivation is to make money.

Know Your BC Boat Registration Agent Reading the other person well is crucial in every commercial transaction. When it’s time to register your boat, the same rule of thumb applies. The National Vessel Registry Center prevents fraudulent activity in boat registers. Having trust in the BC boat registration facility you’re working with is the first step.

When you pick us, you can be confident that we will provide you with the individualized care you need to efficiently and painlessly complete the paperwork at each stage. You will also deal with only the best quality goods and services that are now accessible.

Our competitive rates and excellent customer service will support these products and services. You will get the highest quality boat registration services available if you choose our company.

Keep a Careful Eye on Your Documents To register your yacht, you’ll need two pieces of documentation: proof of ownership paperwork and BC boat registration documents. The first group of paperwork must attest to your rightful ownership of the boat, such as a bill of sale or Certificate of Origin for an imported vessel. It will be enough if one of them verifies that the boat has been changed to your name.

Proof of Registration Forms Documents having a more official appearance, such as receipts for registration payments or verification from an inspection station that your boat has been examined and certified seaworthy, should demonstrate that you have registered your boat with the government. Both pieces of paperwork are required to register a boat, and you should keep them in different locations.

Always Verify Any Information You Receive Over the Phone or the Internet before Acting on It One example of identity theft that may be traced back to fraudulent BC boat registration is the theft of a boat. The most prevalent method of perpetrating this scam is calling the boat’s registered owner and pretending to be from the Canadian Coast Guard. The caller informs the owner that re-registering the vessel is required before its usage. The next step is for them to request private information like a credit card number or Social Security number.

The Canadian Coast Guard is aware of this kind of fraud due to recent reports suggesting an uptick in activity. There have been no instances of the Canadian Coast Guard contacting landowners or asking for personal information over the phone.

Don’t Give Out Personal Information Online When signing up for an online service, you should never give out sensitive information such as your date of birth, social security number, credit card number, or home address. Service providers will ask for this information to set up your account. If you need complete trust in the provider’s capacity to keep your data safe, don’t provide them with this information.

How can you know whether a service provider can be trusted? You should sign up with them if they don’t want your credit card number or any other sensitive information to get started.

Report Anything Suspicious During Your BC Boat Registration Reporting suspicious behavior is the best safeguard against this sort of fraud. If you spot somebody behaving suspiciously at the marina’s dock or moorage area, you should report it immediately. A casual observer is probably all there, but it’s best to be cautious. Nobody you don’t know well should ever ask to go in your boat, and you shouldn’t provide rides to someone you don’t know well unless a buddy accompanies you. Typically, these are only symptoms of mild curiosity, but they might indicate something more dangerous is going on.

Contact the National Vessel Registry Center today to complete our online Canadian registry forms. We’ll help you avoid BC boat registration fraud and ensure you get through your registration process quickly, efficiently, and, most importantly, legally.

[whatbigotspost]

Will everyone unfollow me if I live blog this doc? I promise I won’t. But this is REALLY taking me back and I have to ramble on a personal tangent. As I do.

OK like super quick overview of what the fuck even Girls State is for the unaware… Basically it’s this teen leadership program each state holds independently that the American Legion puts on where they bring together girls from all over the state, usually over the summer on a university campus, for one week. It’s part professional development, part civics education, and part summer camp experience. Participants create their own mock governments (I know I know I was 17!!! 😂) and they hold mock elections, but run on platforms from real issues. They make and pass mock laws based on real needs. It’s the most intensive deep dive that a rising senior in US high schools can possibly get on governmental structures. It’s called girls state because the girls are literally building a state. At my school it didn’t really have a reputation so people were not necessarily lining up to participate, but one of my upperclassman friends had done it and recommended that I apply. At my school it was very easy for me to get in since I was probably the only nerd in my class of 340 who applied. But in some schools, it’s extremely competitive because it’s kind of seen as one of those programs wholesome American kids do like scouting and it is often seen as advantageous for college apps blah blah.

It’s so interesting to watch this now, because I really had forgotten SO MUCH of my experience. I remember that I liked it, I felt like almost everybody that I interacted with was incredibly friendly and kind, and it was really fun to get a chance to meet girls from all over the state like that. I don’t remember a lot of the finer details. I didn’t run for anything big, I was just like a local precinct captain, or something. Watching what the girls are actually doing in this documentary is so much more detailed in the weeds of policy issues than I remember… Although I am sure that I was also doing something like that as well.

But much more than the content of the actual programming, what I remember about it was that it felt kind of just like this pivotal moment in my adolescence. I think of it as one of the first few times when it was clear I was becoming somebody very different from the rest of my nuclear family when it came to interacting socially more and more with the “outside world.” I felt more at home with 400 random girls from all over the state than I did my own family.

I had awesome friends back then, who were very often my salvation. But I also remember that they thought that it was brave (lolll) that I was willing to just go to this program by myself where I wouldn’t know anybody, because it was so much more common for us back then to only do things in packs. (I often miss teen pack girl life. Middle age lady pack life is great but it’s a different, less intense vibe but we get so much more sleep now, at least.)

I also think of it as when I really first became a joiner, which is definitely something that has stuck with me my whole life… I’m always the first to want to say yes, to participate in a program or a club or a workshop or a friend trip.

But most of all, I remember that girl back them with just so much compassion. I did the program when I was actively at the start of what became survival mode to endure some of the worst years of my life with stuff that was going on with my dad’s abuse and mental illness, and my grandmother (who was MY PERSON) was actively dying of cancer.

I got my extremely social/joiner streak from my grandparents, and my grandmother could not have wanted me to go to Girls State more. She was so proud I was chosen to represent my HS. By the time I was going though her cancer had gotten bad bad. So the result is that my most vivid and predominant memory of Girls State overall is that when my dad and brother came to pick me up on the last day, my dad was in a rage frenzy about how he had been trying to reach me (it’s 2002, I didn’t have a cell phone yet, he got me my first like old school burner after this incident) because my grandmother had slipped into a coma by that point. The hour drive home from the University where they had to pick me up was just the worst drive of my life trying to understand how bad my grandmother’s health had taken a turn for the WAY WORSE when I was just away for six days. (She got a little better after this incident for a sec, but ultimately passed away 2 months later.)

It’s like coming back home from Girls State was so traumatizing, that it overwrote a lot of my memories of the details of what the experience was like. Watching the doc now, has actually turned out a lot more bittersweet than I thought it was going to be… I was just here to go on a little trip down memory lane.

How did I not remember that trips down memory lane are dangerous?

SO ANYWAY it truly is fascinating to watch this stuff that is all vaguely familiar to me. I didn’t remember all the culty vibes with this song and the one clap rule but once I saw them, damn it came back. I did remember how patriotic it is…that wasn’t my fave back then and I fully hate it now. What do you expect from the American Legion? 🤷‍♀️

It’s also heart breaking to me that the doc is covering a Girls State session in 2022 right after the Dobbs leak…in that state of suspended hell when we all knew Roe was dead but before 45’s panel of rapists and assorted miscreants put a bullet in its head officially. I would have never guessed in 2002 that girls doing the program 20 years after me would be facing a situation like that.

Oh goddd the Girls State doc is out...the companion and follow up to the filmmaker’s Boys State. It’s really taking me back bc if you know anything about me and what Girls State is, you can smell the alum status on me a mile away 😂 I have been one incredibly political animal since I could think.

In fact, the class profiled in this doc in Missouri is exactly 20 years after I did Hoosier Girls State in 2002.

Anyone else alum? NERDS SOUND OFF

[tolkien-feels]

You know, I’ve always thought that this sentence was slightly weird: “Then Felagund gave the crown of Nargothrond to Orodreth his brother to govern in his stead; and Celegorm and Curufin said nothing, but they smiled and went from the halls.“

Fandom consensus seems to be that Orodreth is just Bad at ruling, which... I guess he doesn’t have a good track record in canon, but I doubt he’s that bad, because Finrod could very easily have given Minas Tirith’s rule to somebody else.

But more than that... What bothers me about C&C’s reaction is that when Feanor is pitching the Flight of the Noldor, Orodreth is one of the very, very few elves who not only isn’t persuaded, but who actually speaks up against Feanor. If Feanor at his most persuasive can’t manipulate Orodreth, I don’t see why C&C would be so excited about him ruling Nargothrond. There’s a non-zero chance they’ll never be able to manipulate him.

I mean, to be fair, the political situation is unstable and any change in the power balance can be an advantage if they play their cards right, but the impression I get from the scene is that they find Orodreth getting the crown a better outcome than Nargothrond being left without a leader - it’s like they think through Orodreth, they will be able to rule, while if there had been no leader, they’d have to first establish their right to rule.

Anyway, I have a theory that might explain how Orodreth goes from “impossible to be persuaded” to “perfect pawn.”

Sauron. Sauron is the theory.

Remember how the Silm tells us that Sauron’s dominion is torment and fear? That checks out - everybody in LotR who has close encounters with either him or his high-ranking minions is not just momentarily rattled, but is usually left permanently traumatized. This is true even when there’s no physical damage associated with it - Sauron doesn’t have to physically harm you to horrify you for good. Hell, 90% of his strategy in the siege of Gondor is to terrify everybody ahead of time with horror and despair.

Anyway, we are told (or a different Minas Tirith) that Sauron “took Minas Tirith by assault, for a dark cloud of fear fell upon those that defended it; and Orodreth was driven out, and fled to Nargothrond.“ Which, again, checks out.

And I have to assume Sauron would have targeted Orodreth specifically during this assault, right? Scare the leader and the followers will be afraid too.

Anyway, I’m not 100% sure whether Orodreth is the sole survivor who makes it to Nargothrond (which I think unlikely) or if he takes some others with him, but either way: however many Minas Tirith refugees there were, they must have had a very strong reaction when this happened:

And after Celegorm Curufin spoke, more softly but with no less power, conjuring in the minds of the Elves a vision of war and the ruin of Nargothrond. So great a fear did he set in their hearts that never after until the time of Túrin would any Elf of that realm go into open battle 

All elves canonically freak out, but those who already have the Sauron-induced magic PTSD were probably hit harder. So I don’t think it’s unreasonable to imagine Orodreth was visibly shaken by Curufin’s words, not because he’s a coward, but because of what Sauron has done to him in the past.

It’d be awesome if Celegorm’s Feanor-like words have no effect on Orodreth, but Curufin’s scare tactics get to him more than they get to anyone. And if C&C notice it (which I’m sure they would), then yeah, of course Orodreth is the perfect target. Sauron basically primed him to be bullied by anyone cruel enough to use fear as a weapon. Remember the mysterious “Spell of Bottomless Dread“ that Melkor uses on his thralls in some versions? I’m imagining something similar to that

[respectable-username]

Based on the responses to my post yesterday wanting to know more, here's my guide to

🧑‍💻Code in Hermitcraft (and other SMP) Fanfic🧑‍💻

Note: This is just the interpretation of one Jr Software Engineer. If other developers have a different interpretation, I'd love to hear it in the comments or reblogs!

It's super common in Hermitcraft (and I'm assuming other SMP) fanfiction for the plot to revolve around errors in the game itself and how they affect players. The problem is, as a software engineer, this almost always immediately pulls me out of the story as the ways the game errors are described frequently don't make sense.

This is not a condemnation of writers who use game bugs as parts of their stories, as nobody expects all SMP fanfic writers to have a CS degree. Some even do it well and I adore those stories when I find them! But here are some high-level suggestions to have your glitchy plot points make a little more sense. Usually, it's just a slight change in wording that's required.

Code vs Data

"His code is glitched! He's evil now!"

"They carefully pulled at the strands of her player code, trying to find the bug that was causing her pain."

"Wow, your code is so ancient! You're from Alpha, right?"

These sorts of phrases are probably the most common ones I see that yank me right out if a story. Why? Because they're confusing data and code!

So, what is the difference?

Think of code in this scenario like the laws of physics. It's the rules that guide what can and can't happen in the world. It's what says "if you walk, you move forwards", "if you eat, you'll be less hungry", "if you use a shovel on a dirt block, it will end up in your inventory".

Data is the actual "stuff" in the world that the code changes via its rules. Data is the specific blocks in that building, that item hovering above the ground, the mobs staring at you from under the trees, the player character, the player's health, the player's inventory, the player's skin, and, in the fanfic context, the player's personality and memories.

In other words, if it's an action that can happen, it's probably code. If it's a specific thing, it and everything that makes that particular thing unique is data.

Of course, there can be bugs or glitches in the code which means that data does something it shouldn't, such as "if you put some TNT, some dead coral, and a minecart in this very specific configuration, you can duplicate the TNT." In this case, the act of duplication (ie the rules that let duplication occur) is a glitch in the code (the rules allow something they shouldn't), but the duplicated TNT itself isn't code; it's data. Data that shouldn't exist but does anyway because of that glitch in the code.

So, how could you rework the sample phrases above to make more sense?

"He got too close to a glitch, and his personality data got corrupted. He's evil now!"

"They carefully prodded at her player data, trying to find the broken property that was causing her pain."

"Wow, your data structures are so ancient! You're from Alpha, right? I can't believe you've survived so many updates without compatibility issues!"

Code vs Logs

"Xisuma looked through the code to find the source of the glitch."

This one's a little less clear cut, as there are circumstances where players could look at a version of the code. Some of the Minecraft code is Open Source (ie free to look at), and the rest can be decompiled from the Minecraft .jar (ie turned from machine-readable ones-and-zeroes back into words and stuff, although much less human-readable than what the original code would have been). The super-technical players such as the SciCrafters and I think Doc too will look at the code, which is how they make their super efficient farms and find and exploit glitches to, say, put 8 spawners in one chunk.

But generally, the code is not the first place you go when encountering a glitch. I mean, if it were that obvious from the code alone, it probably would have been caught before being shipped!

When something goes wrong, the first place to look is the logs. The logs of what the players have been doing, the logs of previous commands that have been run, the update changelogs for the game, the version history of the (admin-editable) config files, any warnings or error logs from the server itself. For example, if you have a malicious user such as, say, a Helsmit in your story, the logs would show when they entered the world and where, unless they also did something hacky to cover their tracks.

Personally, I also wouldn't say you'd have to stick to exactly what a server would realistically log if it makes your story more interesting. It's easy enough to hand wave that an admin has a mod in place that surfaces more information if it'd make the story better!

In a multi-server setting, this is also the point where the admin of your world could also reach out to the admins of other worlds and discuss if they've seen the issue before and how they solved it. The in-universe equivalent of looking it up on Stack Overflow or Reddit if you will!

Once the admin has looked at the logs and maybe chatted to others, if they still can't fix the issue via commands or config file changes, then it might make sense for them to try looking into the code if they can. Note that not all server admins are necessarily confident at programming as it's not a core part of their job.

But at the very least, at this point the admin should have a better idea of what part of the code could be bugged. This will make it easier to either a) make a patch for the bug or, more likely, b) understand what circumstances trigger the glitch and avoid those circumstances.

TL;DR: The code is not the first place admins will go when glitches cause issues; the logs are!

And as before, example sentence:

"Xisuma trawled through the logs, trying to find any indication of the source of the problem."

To Conclude

Code is the rules that govern what stuff can do and how stuff interacts. The stuff itself is data. When something goes wrong, that typically results in the data being in a state it shouldn't be in, wether that be because that thing's velocity is much higher than it should be after taking advantage of the ravager flight glitch, or because a player and a mob's data structures got combined on accident to leave them a player-mob hybrid.

Of course, this broken data is likely caused by a bug/glitch in the code. It could also be caused by somebody malicious who's purposefully trying to break things by messing with the memory in another way. It could also be because a cosmic ray hit a piece of RAM and flipped a single bit (this is an actual thing that happens believe it or not).

Either way, when something goes wrong, the admin's first point of exploration is the logs, not the code. The logs will give the admin a better idea of what the cause of the issue is, and talking with other admins could give them a solution without ever touching the codebase. But worst-case scenario, it is indeed possible for an admin to go spelunking through the codebase to find the cause of an issue and create a patch for it.

This just covers the most common code-related plot points that I personally see in Hermitcraft/other SMP fanfiction. If you have any further questions about writing code-related plot points, feel free to ask! And also, just to reiterate, this is all just my interpretation. Others may interpret differently, and if you do, I'd love to hear what your alternative interpretations are!

PS: I was also planning a section on hacking here, but this post is already getting long and that's complicated, and also I'm bad at hacking. But let me know if you have any questions related to that that you'd like to see in a follow-up post!

[sankyeom]

i spy with my little eye | l.jy

pairings: lee juyeon x reader (she/her/hers pronouns) genre: spy au, rivals to lovers warnings: some descriptions of fighting, injuries, explosives, and guns summary: in which the company you work for is the main rival of juyeon’s company, and you’re known for always being one step ahead of him; even when it comes to realising his feelings for you (based on this timestamp that i wrote before the stealer came out) word count: 8.3k series: sankyeom’s 2k followers celebration

masterlist

“I hope you understand how important it is that we get our hands on that file,” your boss, Mrs Kwon, explained to you after briefing you on your next mission. Your agency was the leading organisation in espionage, amassing over 30 countries. “The encryption on it is extremely advanced, so we’ll need it back undamaged so our cyber division can recover the files,” she finished, closing her tablet and glancing at you. “My understanding is that CKR have their best agents on the job as we speak.”

You nodded, “I’m familiar with them,” you told your boss, having come across the agents from CKR on several occasions, especially Juyeon. “They won’t be a problem.”

Your boss gave you a curt nod in agreement, handing her tablet off to her assistant. “You must know how important this is, Y/n. I cannot stress it enough. I chose you for this mission because you have proven yourself to be loyal and competent after the three years you’ve been here. I trust you to complete your mission well; this cannot fall into the wrong hands.”

“I understand,” you assured your boss. “I won’t give anybody the chance.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Mrs Kwon nodded. “Now, the gala is starting in six hours. I suggest you stop by costume and weaponry before you go. We wouldn’t you to stand out or be unprepared.”

You paused for a moment, thinking it over. “Maybe that’s exactly what we want…” you trailed off as you exited your boss’s office and made your way to the costume department.

You had purposefully made contact with the head of governmental cyber security multiple weeks prior to the gala. Knowing that he had the key to hacking into governmental firewalls and protections meant that you couldn’t let it slip through your fingers that night.

Mr Kim had recognised you immediately, since your stunning red outfit couldn’t be missed. You had clearly made the right decision to wear it, because Mr Kim couldn’t keep his eyes off of you the whole evening.  

“Do you have eyes on the target?” Sangyeon’s voice rang through Juyeon’s earpiece. Juyeon had been undercover for the duration of the gala that evening, staying low-key in a formal but simple suit in order to blend in with the crowd. Sangyeon was surveilling from a getaway car parked nearby for a quick exit. Not only was Sangyeon the team leader, he was also their best and most efficient driver.

As subtly as possible, Juyeon placed a hand on his earpiece to reply to his team leader. “Affirmative. Exiting main ballroom through the North door,” Juyeon informed as he followed the short man who was speedily walking through the crowd; the man looked flustered and slightly tipsy, despite being the head of cyber security for the South Korean government.

“I trust you’ll secure the package and not let it slip like last time,” Juyeon could hear Kevin tease through his earpiece. He spotted Kevin sipping on champagne in the corner of the ballroom, raising his glass to him to further poke fun at Juyeon’s previous failures.

Juyeon rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry about it,” he retorted, placing his glass down on the nearest table and following the target out of the ballroom.

Before he could exit the room, somebody stood before him – dressed in a stunning red outfit that could capture attention from ten miles away – and blocked the doorway. You stood in before Juyeon, an eyebrow raised as ran your eyes down his body. Most of the time when you met him, you were both dressed in your all-black protective gear; it was a nice change to see your handsome rival in a black suit, hair styled to perfection.

“You clean up pretty good for someone who works for the second best agency in the world,” you taunted as you dragged your eyes up to meet Juyeon’s eyes.

Juyeon gulped.

He had always been attracted to you, and this had been his downfall.

The two of you worked for competing agencies and were always put on the same missions, being the best and most experienced agents at your agencies. However, nearly every time Juyeon came close to completing his mission, you already had it in the bag. You were clever, stunning, and always a step ahead of him. You also knew that Juyeon was fond of you, and you used it to your advantage whenever possible.

Juyeon couldn’t find it in him to hate you for it.

“I don’t have time for this,” Juyeon said, trying to sound as passive and bored as possible. By the smirk on your lips, he could tell you weren’t convinced, causing Juyeon to falter slightly. “I’m-“

You pulled a USB stick out of your pocket and dangled it in front of his face. Juyeon’s eyes narrowed, and he could hear Kevin and Sangyeon cursing in his earpiece. Dread filled him, overpowered only by the adrenaline he felt whenever he was in your presence.

You had beat him to it, again.

“-looking for this?” you finished his sentence, titling your head to the side to feign innocence. Then, you grinned, tucking it back into one of your pockets safely. “You should get to know your targets better,” you criticised with a smirk. “Maybe it’ll get you somewhere instead of trying to sneak up on them for the first time the night of a celebration.”

Juyeon narrowed his eyes at you, unsure of what to say. “That outfit draws too much attention, how did you manage to get it before I did?” he wondered instead.

You shrugged. “Sometimes you need the target’s attention,” you reminded him, leisurely stepping closer to Juyeon and leaning in so you lips were next to his ear. “Poor Mister Kim kept his eyes on me and made it easy to snatch this,” you patted your pocket. “Right from under his nose.”

“Abort,” Sangyeon told Juyeon through his earpiece. “Get out of there. We need to regroup for Plan B before we’re out of time.”

Seeing how worked up Juyeon was at your victory only made it more enjoyable for you. Before Juyeon could exit through the door, you bushed your lips against his cheek in an almost-kiss. “See you for round 2,” you told him with a wink, leaving Juyeon behind with his heart pounding erratically as you disappeared through the door.

“What the hell happened?” Sangyeon asked once Juyeon and Kevin were back in the car. “You told me you had eyes on him.”

“I did,” Juyeon snapped, trying his best to calm his temper. Realising how rude he sounded, he softened. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “Y/n got to him before I even realised. She probably knew his routine by then, maybe even personally came into contact with-“

“I don’t want to hear about Y/n again,” Sangyeon interrupted, sighing. “What are you doing, Juyeon? You’re the best operative at the agency, yet the same person keeps intervening on all of your missions. It’s making you look incompetent, and our team look weak.”

“He’s doing his best,” Kevin piped up to defend Juyeon, who slumped in his seat. “I was in the room, and you had surveillance on Mr Kim the whole time. Y/n got past all of us, not just Juyeon. She’s just too good at her job.”

“You’re right,” Sangyeon allowed. “I’m sorry, Juyeon. I shouldn’t have blamed you like that.”

“It’s okay,” Juyeon mumbled. “I get it. You’re just looking out for the team.”

When they returned back to CKR headquarters, Sangyeon called for the whole team to gather so they could put Plan B into motion.

“We know where the USB is,” Sangyeon explained. “Y/n is too far from her headquarters to get there by tonight, she’ll have settled somewhere nearby and will be waiting to get transportation back tomorrow. We have to intercept them before that happens.” He decided.

“How are we supposed to do that?” Sunwoo, the intelligence analyst, wondered. He was one of the youngest members on the team, but was no less competent than the older members. “If Y/n has custody of the USB, we’re hardly going to be able to pry it out of her fingers.”

“No,” Sangyeon agrees. “She’s only going to hand it over to people that she trusts,” he added. “So, we need to become people that she trusts.”

“Pose as her team,” Jacob, one of the main intelligence operatives on the team, realised. “If she thinks that we are her transportation, she’ll have no problem handing over the USB.”

“Exactly,” Sangyeon agrees. “We need to have Chanhee run cryptography as soon possible. From what we understand, the information on the USB is timed. We only have 72 to decrypt and access it before it self-destructs and erases everything. And we need that information to be kept out of the wrong hands.”

“She’s not just going to get into any car and hand over the USB to somebody she doesn’t know,” Hyunjae pointed out from where he sat, spinning himself in circles on one of the wheeled office chairs. “I’m sure they have a system where she gets the licence plates so she knows she’s in the right car.”

“It’s a small window, but we can make it,” Sangyeon was sure. “After we know the message has been transmitted, we take down the driver and send in Juyeon to pose as her driver. She’ll recognise him as soon as she gets into the car, so we have to act fast.”

Juyeon was unsure. “I don’t know…” he trailed off, thinking. “It seems too simple,” he admitted. Juyeon had dealt with you enough to know that nothing got by you so easily.

“Simple is best sometimes,” Sangyeon retorted, crossing his arms. “If we think about this too much, or create an extravagant plan, I think Y/n’ll see it coming from a mile away.”

Juyeon nodded. “Alright, leader. I’ll trust you on this,” he decided, knowing that Sangyeon had been operating for far longer than Juyeon had.

The next night, after the sky had darkened, you packed up in your lavish suite at the hotel a few blocks down from where the event was held last night. You were staying down low so that you could get to headquarters as soon as possible. You knew that Mrs Kwon was right when she said that the information on that USB stick was incredibly important; it also had a timer on it and wouldn’t stay relevant for long. There were only around 48 hours left on the information.

After receiving a text from your usual driver saying he was a block away, you secured all of your belongings and tucked the USB into a hidden compartment of your black cargo pants. Tying your hair back, you made your way out of the room and left your key at the reception. They already knew who you were and took it wordlessly, allowing you to slip out the revolving door to wait for your car in the back alleyway.

As the familiar black SUV came rolling around the corner, you smiled and headed over to sit down in the back. “Good evening Phil,” you greeted, getting in and moving to buckle your seatbelt.

The familiar click of a gun made you freeze in place, hands on your seatbelt as you glanced up to see Juyeon sitting in the driver’s seat. “Oh, hi,” you greeted casually, as if your biggest competitor wasn’t just sitting in a car he had abducted. “Nice to see you in more casual clothes. Do you think you could step on it? I’m kind of on a time crunch, here,” you said.

Juyeon narrowed his eyes. “Stay right there,” he told you, trying not to fumble with his gun. He didn’t want to have to harm you in any way, so he hoped for his own sake that you’d be compliant.

You rolled your eyes. “How is it that I’m always one step ahead of you?” you wondered. Quick as a flash, you lifted your leg and kicked the gun out of Juyeon’s hand, taking his surprise as a chance to grab the gun for yourself and point it at him.

Juyeon cursed, freezing in place. He should have known that the threat of a gun wasn’t going to scare you; you were better trained in hand-to-hand combat anyway. “Get out of the car,” you told him in a slow voice, looking at him through narrowed eyes. Juyeon could see the hurt that lingered in them, and guilt filled his gut at the realisation that you somehow felt betrayed by him.

“Y/n,” Juyeon began, trying to convince you otherwise.

“Do as I say, Juyeon,” you replied, opening your car door and slowly following him out. You realised that the narrow alleyway behind the hotel you were staying in provided the perfect place for someone to hijack your car. “Now, what exactly do you think that you’re doing?” you wondered, motioning for Juyeon to step away from the car.

“Y/n, just listen,” Juyeon pleaded. “I know this looks bad, but I just-”

Before he could finish, a giant force threw the two of you into the air. The force of an explosive going off in your car.

Juyeon hit the ground hard, winded from the explosion and coughing as smoke and fire enveloped the black SUV. You had also been thrown to the ground, but your closer proximity to the car meant that you had suffered worse injuries than Juyeon. Both your side and wrist had hit the ground at bad angles during your fall, your head spinning as a result from the impact.

“What the hell?” you exclaimed, coughing on the ground. You had a ringing in your right ear, which had been facing the car when the blast went off, and were struggling to properly get up due to the injury your ribs had apprehended during the explosion.

Civilians had started running away from the surrounding area, terrified. “You just tried to kill me, you asshole!” you exclaimed, horrified at Juyeon’s approach of getting the USB stick from you. Explosives? Really? “What did I do ever do to you?”

“That wasn’t my explosive,” Juyeon snapped in response.

“You pointed a gun at me,” you retorted, coughing. “Why should I believe that you didn’t try to kill me?”

“We need you alive and you know it. Besides, why would I blow up a car that I was planning on driving?” he added, slowly getting to his knees and attempting to stand up.

You let out a shallow breath, realising what this meant for you.

Your boss, Mrs Kwon, had sent a car with a timed explosive in it.

To kill you.

Had Juyeon not hijacked the car, you and your usual driver Phil would have been dead on the way back to headquarters. Police sirens neared you, and you did your best to drag your feet up.

“We need to go,” you murmured, Juyeon trying to help you up as best as he could. “Now,” you added firmly, wincing as you used your non-injured hand to take Juyeon’s arm. Head spinning, you did your best to adjust to your surroundings.

“I know a place,” Juyeon suggested.

Unsure, you glanced up at him. “And why should I trust you?” you asked.

Juyeon paused, eyes softening at the sight of your injured and scratched body. He sighed, “You know why,” his eyes implying even more than his words did.

And you did know.

Ever since you and Juyeon started meeting during your assignments and missions, the attraction between the two of you was clear. Competing against one another had only added to the heightened emotions and energy between the two of you, and when Juyeon realised he had fallen for you, you were once again ahead of him.

You knew the second he was emotionally invested in his relationship with you. But someone as honest and expressive as Juyeon, almost to the point where he seemed innocent, couldn’t hide how he felt.You had never used his feelings for you against him, and you had never indicated that you felt the same either.

“Besides, what other choice do you have?” Juyeon added. “Mrs Kwon just tried to kill you,” he had also caught on. “I’m the best shot you’ve got at hiding out until it’s safe for you again.”

You weighed out your options. “Okay,” you gave in, mostly because you could barely walk on your own. And partially because your gut was telling you to trust Juyeon. “Where are we going?”

After a short argument about whether or not you would let Juyeon fireman carry you, you had won the fight and did your best to hide how badly your ribs were really injured, holding your tongue and diligently following Juyeon. You had sustained many injuries from missions in the past, and you were quite sure that your ribs were just badly bruised and not fractured.

Juyeon turned on the lights to his apartment, helping you over to his sofa. “This is my place,” he explained. It wasn’t too far from where the blast went off, and it was the only safe place Juyeon could think of letting the two of you hide out. He went into the kitchen and rifled through his drawers for his first-aid kit.

“I thought you were just going to take me to your headquarters,” you admitted. “Why didn’t you?”

Juyeon paused his search, spotting the first aid kit and pulling it out quietly. “I don’t know,” he replied, sighing. “You’re hurt and I can’t take you to the hospital because we’re spies and I’m not trying to let you bleed out or anything,” he added, kneeling in front of you and tending to your wounds. He had clearly looked after his own injuries before in the past, as you often had to do after missions, so you let him help you as the two of you sat in silence.

You had always known that Juyeon was handsome. The first time you met him, it was the first thing you noticed about him; his sharp features, small eyes and narrow nose. Something about the combination of his characteristics made him more stunning than you could comprehend.

“Stop staring at me,” Juyeon mumbled, sounding more shy than teasing under your stare. “It’s making me nervous.”

You rose an eyebrow. “I didn’t think spies got nervous,” you replied.

Juyeon paused his handiwork to meet your eyes, an eyebrow raised. “We don’t. I can disarm a bomb anytime. Get information out of the least willing witnesses. But you. You make me nervous,” he retorted. His words caused your breath to catch in your chest, eyes widening slightly at his candour.

You allowed Juyeon to finish tending to your wounds in silence, thinking better than to provoke him again. You weren’t sure what you would say if he responded to your questions like that again, so you decided to not say anything at all. When he finished, you thanked him quietly and let him wrap your torso to support the injury on your ribs. Silently, you watched him tend to his own, much milder, wounds.

“You’re very soft,” you observed as Juyeon quietly put his first-aid kit away and brought you some water. He was far more graceful than you had expected him to be. “The way you move and handle yourself. I know you’re stealthy because of your job, but your movements are very controlled and elegant.”

Juyeon took a seat next to you, handing you a glass of water. Despite everything the two of you had gone through, it felt very comfortable and natural to sit with him like that. “I used to be a dancer,” Juyeon said. You perked up at his confession. “When I was younger. It was all I wanted to do.”

“I can see you as a dancer,” you said, tilting your head slightly, as if imagining Juyeon standing on a large stage and performing. “You have that air of control about you; like you do a lot with your body,” Juyeon hummed. Feeling the need to level with him, you opened up more. “I used to want to be a magician.”

Juyeon burst out in laughter. “You’re kidding,” he accused in disbelief.

“I’m dead serious,” you swore. “I wanted to be a magician. Not a real wizard or someone with real powers, I just wanted to convince people that I could do magic,” you explained.

Juyeon perked up at your words. “A magician,” he murmured, as if trying to picture you with a top hat and a fake wand as a child. “I see that. You always have something up your sleeve whenever we’re on the same mission.” Juyeon recalled.

You smiled. “Sorry about that.”

Juyeon’s eyes shimmered with amusement. “No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not,” you agreed reluctantly. “It’s one of the few talents I have. Other than elite espionage.”

Juyeon laughed. “God, you’re good at your job,” he sighed. “How is it that you beat me every single time we have the same mission?” he wondered, giving up on trying to pretend like he didn’t know you were the better spy. “Level with me on this. Every single time.”

“I’m good at reading people,” you shrug. “After a while, I got to know how you thought and how you problem solved. Then, it just became a matter of being a step ahead of you.”

“Which you always are,” Juyeon shook his head in disbelief. “Right when I’m about to act, you’ve already finished the job.”

“Like I said, magic tricks and espionage are my only talents,” you reminded him. “It just comes easily to me. Some people are great painters. I’m great at… physical combat? Logistics? Fooling people?”

“I think you’re an overachiever,” Juyeon mentioned it so casually that you actually laughed.

“Maybe so,” you mused, a grin playing on your lips. “Or I just really like winning.”

“Now that I can agree with,” Juyeon said, nodding to himself. “Everything between you and I is a competition, and you always win.”

“Not everything between us is a competition,” you whispered.

Juyeon smiled slightly, closed-lipped and slightly forced. “I wish that were true,” he replied.

You supposed he was right. In terms of your careers as spies, most of the times you met it was due to having the same mission. This meant that a large part of what made up your relationship was the competitive drive you felt whenever the two of you were together.

Perhaps that was why you tried so hard to deny the fact that you returned his feelings for you.

You sighed. “I wish that I never knew you were a spy,” you mumbled, hugging your legs and resting your head atop of your knees, your glass of water set on the coffee table. “I wish that you and I met at,” you thought about it. “A coffee shop. Or university. Or somewhere else, I don’t know.”

Juyeon nodded in agreement, following suit and mirroring the position you were in, resting his chin on his knees. “Me too,” he agreed. “I wish that I didn’t have to hide you here. Hide you from your horrible boss Mrs Kwon, and my team…” Juyeon groaned. “My team. Oh god, I have no idea what I’m going to tell them.”

“Right,” you recalled. “This was your mission. To get information from me,” you said, the thought making you pout subconsciously. “I’m a mission.”

“You’re not a mission,” Juyeon denied. “You were a part of my mission.”

“Two hours ago, you were pointing a gun at my head,” you reminded Juyeon, raising an eyebrow. “I’m a mission, Juyeon.”

“You’re not,” Juyeon insisted. “You’re… special to me. You’re not an object or an assignment. You’re a person.”

“This is so messed up,” you buried your face in your knees, willing everything to disappear around you. “Up until this morning, you were just the guy that I flirted with during missions.”

“That’s all I was to you?”

“No,” you admitted. “But that’s all our relationship was. Now, I’m on the run from my boss, who’s trying to kill me, and you’re hiding from your team, who assigned you to basically kidnap me for intel.”

“Why do you work for her?” Juyeon wondered. “She’s dangerous, and you’re doing missions for her.”

You shook your head. “You don’t get it,” you told him. “It’s not that simple.”

“Then simplify it.”

“Drop it, Juyeon.”

“Why?” he exclaimed. “You’re putting yourself in danger for somebody who wants you dead, and you don’t want to tell me why?”

“You’re right, I don’t want to tell you why.”

“Fine,” Juyeon huffed, purposely moving his body so he wasn’t facing you head on anymore. “I just saved your life and you still don’t trust me.”

“Do you trust me?” you retaliated.

Juyeon’s silence was enough to answer that one.

“Then we’re back to square one,” you rolled your eyes, moving your legs to stand up. “How-“ you cut yourself off with a cry of pain, having forgotten how badly you injured your ribs in the car blast.

You fell back against the sofa, Juyeon leaping to his feet to help you sit back down. “Are you okay?” he asked, voice rushed as his eyes flitted across your body, searching for any visible sign of pain.

Your eyes clenched closed as your severely bruised ribs throbbed, the sharp pain slowly fading now that you weren’t moving your upper body. When you opened your eyes again, you met Juyeon’s deep brown gaze. His expression had softened when he realised you were no longer in immense pain, and his close proximity made you glance down to his thin, pink lips.

“I’d really like to kiss you,” Juyeon whispered, his breath fanning against your cheeks as he spoke. “Is that okay?” you nodded, not finding the words to reply to him; drawing him in with your eyes.

He leant forward, bracing his hands on the sofa on either side of your body, lips meeting yours in a searing kiss. His lips were warm and soft, and his touch felt familiar despite it being your first kiss with him. You exhaled a sigh through your nose, relishing in how close Juyeon was when he normally felt so out of reach from you. Pulling him closer, you threaded your fingers gently through his hair, parting your lips to deepen the kiss.

This closeness, the fact that Juyeon was within your grasp, caused warmth to blossom in your chest and stomach. For as long as you could remember, your attraction to and feelings for Juyeon had always been pushed to the back of your mind; a fantasy you would never reach. And here you were, wrapped in his embrace.

Waking up in Juyeon’s bed was heaven.

Of course, your whole body felt sore from the impact of hitting the ground after the explosion, and you still couldn’t stand up properly without it hurting due to your ribs. But still, you felt satisfied.

“Hey,” Juyeon greeted, running his fingers through your hair, eyes bleary from sleep. “You okay?” You nodded, wordlessly tracing shapes onto his t-shirt covered chest, not wanting the moment to end. “Your wounds look like they’re closing,” he mused, searching your body. “I think a shower might be due.”

After setting you up with a towel and clothes to change into, you stripped your t-shirt off – having gotten rid of your cargo pants for comfort the night before – and made your way into the bathroom to shower.

Your reflection looked awful.

You had several cuts, bruises, and lacerations on your body from the impact, and you ribs were terribly swollen after you unwrapped it, blue bruises forming across it. Wincing, you hopped into the shower and scrubbed all of the dirt and dried blood from your skin. After using Juyeon’s shampoo and body wash, your chest felt warm and cozy as his scent filled your nose.

After lying in bed for a few extra minutes, Juyeon decided to clean up a little. He made his bed and picked up your clothes from where you had carelessly dropped them in his living room the night before. He paused, feeling the cold touch of a small metallic object in one of the inner pockets.

The USB.

Juyeon hesitated, not sure what to do with it.

A part of him wanted desperately to pocket the small device, a deep desire within him begging him to finish his mission and do the right thing. He knew that the USB falling into the wrong hands would be detrimental to the safety and wellbeing of many government officials and innocent citizens.

Another part of him wanted to tuck it back into the pocket he found it in. The information on the USB could only be encrypted for a short period of time. If Juyeon did nothing, then the information would disappear in 30 hours. He would preserve the progress he made with you the night before and  could make other plans to protect you from Mrs Kwon.

Juyeon didn’t realise how long he held the USB in his palm. Your footsteps snapped him out of his daydream.

“You found it,” you said, too shocked to continue towel-drying your hair. You had gotten changed into one of Juyeon’s long sleeved t-shirts, sweatpants, and socks after your shower. Had it not been for the situation at hand, Juyeon might have told you how stunning you looked in his clothes. “What are you gonna do with it?” you asked him, biting your bottom lip.

Juyeon glanced up, stepping towards you. “Nothing,” he replied, pressing the USB into your hands. He closed your fingers over it, covering your closed fist with his own hand. “I don’t need to do anything about it.”

The moment was ruined as the front door to Juyeon’s apartment was kicked down, several agents and elite spies from Mrs Kwon’s organisation making their way into the living room, guns pointed at the two of you. “Minho,” you said calmly, recognising your team leader.

Minho’s eyes had hardened as he observed the position you and Juyeon were in. “What were you thinking?” Minho asked, his voice unnervingly calm. “Why would you come here with him instead of going back to headquarters? You had a mission, Y/n.”

“She was hurt,” Juyeon defended your actions. “Her car exploded just metres away from her. I wasn’t just going to bring her back to your headquarters after your boss tried to blow her up.”

Minho watched the way you quickly pulled your hand out from under Juyeon’s, raising both of your hands in the air. Juyeon followed your actions, curious about why you were surrendering so easily.

“This is interesting,” Minho mused. “Is this why you keep failing your missions?” he asked Juyeon, tilting his head and mocking him with his words.

“What are you talking about?” Juyeon asked, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re purposefully failing so that Y/n can succeed?” Minho said it in a teasing tone, as if he was revealing Juyeon’s crush during recess in the playground.

“No,” Juyeon denied. “That’s not true and you know it.”

“She can’t be that good of a spy,” Minho retorted. “She’s beat you out on seventy eight missions over four years.” You remained silent, unsure of what to say with so many guns pointed in your direction. “How long have you been together for?”

“Stop it,” you interrupted. “Are you going to fight me, Minho?” you asked.

Minho had been your team leader for almost three years. You had each other’s backs, and the fact that he and the rest of the spies from your organisation were pointing guns at you didn’t sit so well with you.

“I might,” Minho admitted. “If you don’t hand over the USB.”

“I can’t do that,” you said. “Mrs Kwon tried to kill me for this, I’m afraid I won’t just let go of it so easily,” you admitted.

“Please,” Minho rolled his eyes. “That car blew up after your little boyfriend stole it from Phil. He clearly planted it. Why would Mrs Kwon put an explosive in your car? You’re her best agent, and she wants those files,” he recalled. “Forgive me if I just don’t buy it, Y/n.”

“Okay,” you shrugged. “I forgive you.”

You turned, nodding at Juyeon and balanced your weight across your feet before you leapt at Minho, swinging your arm in a punch. Juyeon followed suit, turning to kick the guns out of your colleague’s hands and ducking under their jabs. You took on Minho alone, since he was the team leader and the most experienced spy on the team other than yourself.

Usually when you fought with Minho, it was sparring during training; honing in your skills and building each other up. Now, you were fighting to get away from somebody you used to consider close to a friend. “You sold out,” you accused Minho, kicking his gun away from where he had dropped it during your fight.

“So what if I did?” Minho replied, raising an eyebrow. “You think you’re always a step ahead of everyone, but this time, I was,” he added, striking you in your torso. You yelped, falling to the ground as the pain in your already injured ribs intensified. “Any more tricks up your sleeve? Or just a fractured rib?”

“Asshole,” you exclaimed, biting your tongue to suppress more shouts of pain. You struggled to fend off Minho’s advances. He was larger, stronger, and in better condition than you were. Even when the two of you sparred during training, you could only ever win against Minho if you outsmarted him somehow.

Getting to your feet, you tucked your hair behind your ears and squared your shoulders. Minho approached you, diving with his hands stretched towards your torso; by that point, he had realised that you were injured and had a weak spot. You blocked it easily, using the momentum of Minho’s slight stumble to aim your fist at his jaw. Minho exclaimed in pain, falling to the ground and holding his jaw.

You risked a moment to look at Juyeon, who was easily taking on two men at once. The swift and calculated manner Juyeon moved in reminded you of how he said he wanted to be a dancer when he was younger. This, you could easily believe after seeing him in action.

You struck Minho further while he was disoriented from your hit to his jaw, not letting the gruelling pain in your ribs stop you from doing your best to defend yourself. Minho pushed you against the wall, both of your actions getting sloppier from the injuries you were both sustaining.

“Enough,” you exclaimed, taking the USB from where you stashed it in your pocket and holding it out of the open window. Juyeon and Minho audibly cursed, everyone stilling at your bold choice. “One more step, and I drop it,” you warned, the sound of the traffic outside reminding everyone that a car would immediately drive over the USB if you dropped it.

“Y/n,” Juyeon said slowly. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

“Listen to your boyfriend,” Minho agreed. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret.”

“Regret?” you echoed. “I almost got blown up because I had this. You think I’ll miss this thing when it’s gone? The only person who loses out would be you,” you told Minho. “This is your recovery mission.”

“Juyeon!” a shout came from the hallway leading up to his apartment. You turned, seeing Sangyeon, Kevin, Jacob, and Haknyeon rush into Juyeon’s apartment. They seemed to have realised where Juyeon was soon after Mrs Kwon’s team had, and were shocked at the scene in front of them. “Are you hurt?” Sangyeon asked, causing Juyeon to shake his head.

“The rest of your boyfriend’s team is here,” Minho drawled. “So, what’s it going to be, Y/n? Are you going to hand it over to me, or him?”

“Why do I need to hand it over to anyone?” you retorted. You had kicked Minho’s weapons out of his reach, and now that Sangyeon and his team were there, Minho was outnumbered. He wasn’t likely to try anything stupid. “What are you going to do? You can’t win this one, Minho.”

Juyeon watched with bated breath as you opened your palm, dropping the USB from the twenty-fourth floor of his apartment building. Sangyeon and Minho gave angry shouts at your action and you stepped away from the window, opening both of your hands to show your empty palms.

Minho moved forward, his fist colliding with the side of your face. You fell to the floor, Juyeon yelling as he ran towards Minho. Sangyeon held him back, stopping him from doing anything he might regret. “I’ll deal with you later,” Sangyeon told him. Juyeon startled; Sangyeon had never looked at Juyeon with so much disappointment before.

Your chest heaved with deep inhales as you tried to catch your breath, propping yourself up using the wall behind you. “And what about you?” you asked Minho, raising an eyebrow; challenging him. “Are you really going to go to Mrs Kwon empty-handed? The USB is gone. About ten cars have crushed it into the road by now. She’s not going to want me, dead or alive. She’s going to want the team leader that let her precious files slip through his fingers.”

Knowing you were right, and seeing how Sangyeon and his team had outnumbered him, Minho glared at you before fleeing from the scene, most likely going to hide from Mrs Kwon and her resources. Sangyeon didn’t stop him; Minho was of no interest to him now that he didn’t have the USB, and he was from a different organisation. Elite spies aren’t a part of law enforcement; he wasn’t going to chase after Minho like a police officer would.

“You don’t know what you’ve just done,” Sangyeon accused you, seething with anger. “You’re protecting Mrs Kwon under the facade that you don’t care what happens to the information on that USB.”

“I can’t believe you did that,” Juyeon added quietly. “You were almost killed for that, twice. Don���t you think we could have used what’s on there?”

You nodded. “I suppose you’re right. It’s a good thing I always have,” you pulled the USB out from under the sleeve of Juyeon’s long-sleeved t-shirt that you were wearing, an ode to the many magic tricks you learned as a kid when you dreamed of being a magician. “A trick up my sleeve.”

“We can trust Y/n,” Juyeon insisted, rushing after Sangyeon and Kevin as they led you out of his apartment complex to their SUV. “She hasn’t done anything wrong. Mrs Kwon tried to kill her!”

“Except she has done things wrong,” Sangyeon retorted. “Y/n’s boss is corrupt, Juyeon,” he informed. “Mrs Kwon has been giving government and civilian security details to the highest bidder. That’s the reason her company is the best in the world. They sell private information for profit, and hundreds of people have died for it.”

Juyeon felt his heart drop to his stomach at Sangyeon’s confession. “That’s her boss, not her,” he tried to defend you as best as he could. “It’s a job, Sangyeon.”

“Elite espionage doesn’t exist for the rich to play games with innocent people for money,” Sangyeon snapped. “Our organisations exist so that we can protect people and put away bad guys.”

“I agree,” you voiced, causing Sangyeon’s eyes to meet yours as you neared the car. Despite his harsh gaze, you weren’t intimidated by him. You had nothing to hide or be ashamed of. “Believe me, that’s why I took this job.”

Sangyeon studied your expression, trying to find a hint that you were lying or deceiving him. Then, he held his hand out to you. “I’ll take that USB,” he said. You gave it to him, seeing no point in trying to keep it from him at that point. Minho and the other spies from Mrs Kwon’s agency were long gone, and Sangyeon and his team wouldn’t be able to crack the code without you anyway. “Get in,” Sangyeon told Juyeon. “We’re going to headquarters.”

If Sangyeon wanted to take you to CKR, you had no reason to fight him.

“What’s the status?” Sangyeon asked Chanhee, who had been working on decrypting the files on the USB for over an hour.

You and Juyeon had been driven to CKR headquarters in seperate cars. Kevin did his best to be kind to you, but you remained silent and allowed him to lead you to a simple room with a one-way mirror in it.

Juyeon had debriefed the team on exactly what had happened when he tried to bring you to headquarters the night before. Sangyeon remained unimpressed that Juyeon hadn’t immediately brought you to them, and scolded him for taking away an extra 15 hours of time they could have used to decrypt the files and question your organisation’s best spy.

“There’s over 200 digits in the password,” Chanhee explained, still typing out potential passwords onto the laptop in a blank document. “There’s only three chances before the files self-destruct. I already used one of our chances, and I don’t want to try again until I get a better idea of what it could be,” he said, lush lips stuck in a concentrated pout. “It would help if I knew anything about Mr Kim, but he seems to be a pretty elusive man. Does’t have much of an online presence, which makes sense since he’s in charge of cybersecurity.”

Sangyeon sighed, rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache was coming on. “If Mrs Kwon was willing to kill Y/n to keep this information out of her hands, we need to get to it,” he said.

“What’s on it?” Eric wondered from his place on the sofa, playing a game on his phone.

“I don’t know,” Sangyeon shook his head at the youngest. “Boss won’t say.”

“Maybe we should ask Y/n,” Kevin suggested. “If Mrs Kwon wanted to keep it out of her hands specifically, maybe she thought that Y/n could crack the code?”

Sangyeon had already thought of this option, but he didn’t want to have to bring you in. “She works for that awful lady,” he reminded his team. “I don’t trust her.”

Juyeon frowned. “What’s she ever done to make you distrust her?” he wondered. “Other than the fact that she works for an organisation that we think is corrupt? Most of the missions she was on were ones that you sent me on, too. That means that she’s been doing a lot of good during her career in espionage,” he pointed out.

“Bring her in,” Sangyeon decided, sending both Jacob and Kevin in to collect you. You soon appeared, wincing as you limped your way over to the team leader. Your bruised ribs had probably become fractured from your fight with Minho, and any other contusions you had sustained from the fight were starting to bruise a deep purple. Juyeon wanted nothing more than to rush over to you, but he figured this would be the wrong move.

“Can you solve this?” Sangyeon asked you, pointing at the screen.

You shrugged. “I can’t be sure,” you admitted. “But I have a pretty good hunch.”

“Which is?”

“I got to know Mr Kim personally before the event two nights ago,” you explained. “Before he started his career in cybersecurity, he was a chemistry major at Yonsei University for his undergraduate degree. He used to go on and on about how he had to memorise all these different formulas and numbers to pass his exams,” you recalled. “But there was one thing he was particularly proud of, something that none of his classmates could do.”

“Don’t tell me it’s the first 300 digits of Pi,” Chanhee said, frowning. “Because that would be so boring. I could do that when I was eleven.”

You shook your head. “He can recite the atomic numbers of every element on the periodic table,” you told the cryptologist. “In order.”

“Pull up a picture of the periodic table,” Sangyeon ordered to Sunwoo, who quickly complied and pulled it up to the large screen in the centre of the room. “Chanhee?”

“On it,” he mumbled, already typing in the numbers in order. When he was done, he stared at the screen in surprise. “The number of digits perfectly fits,” Chanhee told his team leader. “Do you want me to enter it?”

Sangyeon glanced over at you. “I don’t suppose you made up an elaborate lie that just so happened to work in your favour?”

You shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time I had that kind of a trick up my sleeve,” you admitted. “But no. I’m not lying.”

Sangyeon’s brows furrowed together. “Alright,” he agreed. “If Juyeon trusts you, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt this once. And we always have one more try, then I’ll know for sure if you were lying.”

Sangyeon gave Chanhee the okay to give in the password. Chanhee tapped on the enter key, a grin forming on his lips as he started typing frantically. “I’m in,” he said, causing cheers to burst out around the room.

The boss of the CKR spy agency entered the room, pleased to see the success that Sangyeon’s team had during their mission. “That sounds like good news,” he said, causing all the members of the team to bow in greeting of their boss.

“Yes, sir,” Sangyeon confirmed. “We just got into through the encryption with 28 hours to spare.”

“That’s wonderful work,” their boss complimented, smiling at them all.

“Y/n provided important details about Mr Kim’s life that helped us,” Sangyeon added, surprising you. “Without her help, we wouldn’t have been able to figure it out.”

“Excellent work, Y/n,” the CKR boss complimented, reaching over to shake your hand.

You beamed. “Happy to help, sir,” you told him cheerily. “After all, it is my job,” you reminded him with a wink.

The room went silent as Sangyeon’s team stared at you in shock. “I knew I made the right choice trusting you,” the CKR boss told you, looking proud. “There aren’t many people that can outsmart Juyeon on his missions, as well as work undercover long enough to deeply infiltrate Mrs Kwon’s organisation.”

“Did you just say work undercover?” Juyeon wondered, voicing everyone’s thoughts.

“Yes,” his boss admitted. “I hired Y/n five years ago to infiltrate Mrs Kwon’s organisation and expose her corruption. That’s why these files are so important,” he explained.

“Oh my god,” Chanhee muttered, flicking through the files on the USB. “This traces Mrs Kwon’s online presence, dating back over three years. It’s incriminating information against Mrs Kwon’s organisation; she can be sent to jail for the evidence on here.”

“That’s why she tried to kill you,” Juyeon realised, addressing his words to you. “Because Mr Kim uncovered her online footprints.”

“I told you it wasn’t so simple,” you reminded him, giving him your best smile. Juyeon beamed. He often wondered if he was naïve for trusting you, but you had proved to him that you were worth the risk. A double agent. Somehow, Juyeon felt incredibly proud of you.

“Thank you for your hard work, Y/n,” CKR’s boss thanked you. “And now that we have what we need on Mrs Kwon, I’d love for you to continue working here for my most elite team,” he invited you.

“That’s us!” Eric exclaimed happily, now solving a Rubik’s cube upside down.

“As long as they’ll have me, I’d love to,” you told your boss.

Everyone glanced over at Sangyeon, who had the final say on any new members as the team leader. After seeing your skillset that day, everyone on the team was excited to work with you. You had something to offer in almost any area they specialised in. Plus, you were a fairly famous spy amongst the different agency; known as the best of the best. Sangyeon seemed to be struggling to comprehend the situation, having gone through a pretty confusing day.

“So you’re been working for CKR all this time?” he asked. You nodded. “And you’ve been gathering information on Mrs Kwon to use against her with Mr Kim from cybersecurity?” Another nod. “And you really did outsmart Juyeon on all of his missions?”

“I’m afraid so,” you confirmed.

Sangyeon seemed stunned. “Then I think you’d make a good addition to the team,” he agreed. Kevin and Eric cheered, excited that someone as well-known in the spy community as you would be a part of their team. You were infamous around CKR for always outsmarting their best team, and it turns out that you were CKR’s best asset all along. Your boss said his farewells, allowing you to get to know your new team better.

“I can’t believe all of this,” Juyeon breathed out in surprise, helping you onto one of the sofas in the back of the room, careful of your injured ribs. “You’re…”

“A double agent?” you filled in for him.

“…Even more amazing than I thought,” Juyeon finished his train of thought. You grinned, letting Juyeon press a kiss to your cheek and hug you. “And always a step ahead of me, it seems,” he kissed you gently.

“That’s going to take some getting used to,” Younghoon mumbled, wincing at the sight of you and Juyeon kissing.

“My little magician,” Juyeon sighed happily against your lips, pulling away to beam at you. His eyes, tired and worn out from the last two days, glimmered with excitement. “This is so much better than competing against you.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and hugging him tightly, wincing slightly at the impact on your ribs. “Who says we’re going to stop competing?”

note: here is the long anticipated full version of my spy!juyeon timestamp!! i hope you guys enjoyed it! it wasn’t super romantic like the other ones but i hope i capture the spy juyeon concept i was going for well :)

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Mycroft Holmes x Reader (Part Six)

AN- Two chapters in one night... hope you like them! Soft Holmes Brothers scene at the end because, especially after the Eurus situation, the boys truly do love and care for each other! Not proof read either of these yet so apologies if there are mistakes!

Word Count- 4405

The younger brother's eyes had flicked over you both only momentarily, the tiniest flick up of his lips at the side of his mouth that disappeared so quickly it could have been misinterpreted for a twitch.

"Ever the delight, Sherlock." Mycroft spoke, standing straighter, his chin poking up a little higher. Sherlock glanced over his posture and rolled his eyes.

"Oh for God's sake don't start that Mycroft. Had I blamed you for everything I can assure you I wouldn't have bothered opening the door, don't make it so obvious that you care about my opinion of you- it's embarrassing for both of us." And with that he spun around and headed up the stairs to 221B, leaving the door to the flat wide open and disappearing into the bathroom.

"Well that was.."

"Easy? I told you that you shouldn't worry." You nudged Mycroft into the building before ascending the stairs.

"Sherlock Holmes, possibly the only man in the world to forgive somebody for nearly killing him in a heartbeat, but held a 6 month grudge when I took the last custard cream from the biscuit jar when I was 12.." Mycroft muttered, making his way into the flat and sitting beside you on the two seater sofa. John walked into the room from the kitchen shortly after, a tray of tea and biscuits in hand as he said his hellos.

"Figured I'd stick the kettle on when you said you were on your way.. Greg shouldn't be long now." He gave a smile, taking his place in his own armchair. "How have.." He glanced at Mycroft. "How have you been? He won't admit it, but Sherlock's been worried about you." Mycroft took a breath, sending a polite smile in the direction of the army doctor.

"Doctor Watson, I can assure you that I am fine and have been perfectly well looked after." His eyes flickered to you for a moment and then back to the doctor. "I presume the pair of you have held up well as I haven't heard any reports of gunfire towards the wall for a fair bit of time." John grinned, casting his eyes over to the smiley face on the wall that had thankfully been left alone.

"Good. Yeah, uh, things here have been.. good.. too." A blank stare matched with a more thoughtful raise of lips. ".. Very good, actually.."

"Catch." Sherlock came stalking into the room, a damp flannel thrown in Mycroft's general direction which he caught expertly, not allowing a single moist patch to appear on his clothing.

"And this is.."

"A flannel? Christ Mycroft has trauma affected your brain cells that much?" Sherlock quipped, flopping down into his armchair and lazily holding his hand out for his tea that was a mere few inches away from his fingers. John placed the mug in his hand without thought or argument, his fingers brushing over Sherlock's slightly before moving away. A biscuit soon followed, John holding out the digestive while Sherlock partly opened his lips, and shoving the food between them. It was your turn to raise your brow now, but you didn't say anything, instead just nudging Mycroft with your knee to make sure he had seen it too. Of course he had. "It's for your face, Y/N's lip balm is all round your mouth and it's making me feel a bit sick." John's eyes widened as he looked between the pair of you. You shrugged your shoulders and smiled, Mycroft simply sweeping away the slightly pink balm from underneath his lip and folding the wet cloth back up to place on the side. At least he hadn't picked up that you did it on purpose. Before anybody else could speak, the sound of someone bounding up the stairs filled the flat.

"Sorry I'm late, Ms Hudson let me in an- what did I miss?" Greg stood breathless at the door, satchel slung over his shoulder and a carrier bag in his other hand, staring at the apparent awkward glances shared between half the room. You stood from the sofa and headed over towards him, swiftly wrapping your arms around him and placing a small kiss on his cheek to say hello. He made his way into the room and perched on the arm of the sofa closest to Mycroft, casting another look at everybody when his question still hadn't been answered.

"Nothing of importance. Mycroft and Y/N have obviously decided to stop moping around each other like lovesick teenagers and finally admitted they've been infatuated with each other for years.. Now you're all caught up, can we get these papers sorted out so I can be more productive with my time?" Sherlock huffed.

"Nothing of importance? Don't be an arse Sherlock, that's excellent news." Greg clapped Mycroft on his shoulder and shot you a toothy grin. "Declaration in the park was it? Might be a good enough reason for me to not punch you for closing off St James'.." John's eyes widened more, if it were possible.

"You just.. closed off St James'? Can you even do-" The look Mycroft shot John made him cut his sentence short. "Right, yeah. British Government." He nodded, standing to go fetch Greg a coffee (yourself and Mycroft still held a shared judgement against Greg and his hatred for tea) and continuing to ask questions about your newly confirmed relationship. Mycroft sat awkwardly through the encounter- briefly talking about his emotions in front of you was one thing, a whole flat full of people was entirely different- so you gave his knee a quick squeeze and answered for him. "Who bit the bullet then?" John sat down. "Christ I know I mistook the pair of you being together when I met you, so surely these two have been waiting longer for you to get on with it." Greg grinned, nodding in agreement at John's assumption. Sherlock, on the other hand, stay lying on his chair completely unphased by the conversation going on around him.

"To cut a long story short, we were watching telly, I said Stephen Fry was a bit sexy, Mycroft informed me that he used to get told he had a slight resemblance to him, I realised I'd stuck my foot in it and had a ramble.. Went from there. Nothing too exciting, sorry." You left out the parts where the night before you had handled a broken Mycroft to the shower, how he had gripped onto you, how you held him as you slept. You also left out the way he had allowed himself to cry, how you held him while he wept- and, for that, Mycroft was incredibly thankful. Sherlock probably knew though, somehow, in his Sherlock way of knowing things- but he was either too kind to announce it to the room, or didn't care enough to waste his breath.. probably the latter.

"That's disappointing. You've mentioned about fancying Stephen Fry for years, this could have happened ages ago." John teased.

"Nothing compared to Hugh Laurie though. I'm pretty certain that I'm straight but I'd let him-"

"The papers!!" Sherlock's shout cut Greg's ramble off, making the silver haired man jump and grab his satchel, handing out the reports in a way that reminded you of a teacher with test papers.

"Right, yeah. Sorry. Basically the proper forms aren't ready for another week or so so these are just a few basic questions- nothing too in depth yet since I wanted to give you guys time to... yeah just basic for now." Mycroft chose to read through all the questions before answering them, whereas Sherlock  hastily scribbled his response to each question as he went along- the smaller details in the Holmes brothers' differences are always interesting to stumble upon. As he held the page in his hands, you carefully leant over to have a glance at the questions, your hand resting lightly on his shoulder and your cheek resting just against your fingers- blissfully unaware at the 2 sets of eyes openly staring at your movements, and the one set that watched from the side. Greg was right, in a way, the questions definitely weren't as overbearing as they could be- but that doesn't mean it was an easy task. The questions targeted Mycroft a lot more than it did John and Sherlock, asking things about scenarios and situations that had occured before they were taken, how long it had been since they had any contact with Eurus prior to that evening/ what they discussed, and a few basic questions about any incentives Eurus may have had, and anything that aided her into her plan. Of course the papers weren't labelled with the sister's name, they were generically printed and typically handed out to anybody involved in any kind of criminal behaviours, but that didn't make it seem any less like these were questions that targeted Mycroft in particular. Mycroft took a deep breath and laid the papers back onto the coffee table in front of him, pulling a pen out of his pocket and beginning to write. In this moment you had noticed the small bounce of his left leg, a movement only ever shown by him in times where he had a particularly stressful day at work, or a troubling encounter with his brother- it was a movement that let you know his brain was running a mile a minute and he felt a little more overwhelmed that usual. Without making a point of it, you move your right hand to rest on his mid thigh, allowing your thumb to rub small shapes into his leg to show your support.

Turning your gaze to the rest of the room, you noticed Greg's eyes on you, a grin on his face that practically stretched to his ears. You rolled your eyes at him, using your other hand to flip him off and smiled.

It had taken just under two hours in total for the boys to finish completely (well, an hour and twenty minutes for the Holmes siblings, an extra forty minutes for John whose brain simply didn't work as fast as theirs to convey the information on the paper). The time had passed fairly quickly, with yourself and Greg not wanting to disturb the silence and instead just drinking your hot drinks and stealing a couple of biscuits from the tray. You gave Mycroft's leg one last squeeze before sitting back against the sofa, stretching a little after finally getting out of that position.

"Thanks again for getting this done today." Greg spoke, taking the papers in and putting them in a plastic folder. "I'd better be off anyway, get these filed in." He stood, heading for the front door and tripping over the carrier bag he had brought in with him earlier. "Shit, yeah I almost forgot." He picked up the bag and handed it to you. "Got your coat, and I may have accidentally read your mind if you had been talking about Stephen and Hugh.." You dug through the bag and grinned as you pulled out the box at the bottom.

"You, Gregory Lestrade, are a bloody legend. God I could kiss you!" Your boxset of 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie' rested in your hands and you showed it to Mycroft, beaming at him. His lips raised at your reaction, showing a small glint in his eye, as you explained how now the pair of you would have to binge watch it since Mycroft had never got round to watching them before. Greg barked out a laugh.

"I wouldn't. I don't fancy being hunted by Mycroft's secret services." Mycroft let out a small laugh himself. And with that, Greg was gone and left the flat to the four of you once more.

***

You hadn't stayed at the flat long before you all made your way to Angelo's restaurant, even managing to convince Mycroft to just take a cab rather than bothering his chauffeur for a 5 minute journey.

"Ahhh Mr Holmes, Doctor Watson!" Angelo greeted, pulling the aforementioned men into an awkward half embrace, half headlock. "Back again so soon? I shall get your usual table set up, grab some candles. Anything for you!" The pair of men awkwardly shifted out of the hold and Sherlock offered a smile.

"Not today Angelo, we need a table for four if that suits your capacities here?" Sherlock peered round at the tables inside.

"Of course, a double date, very lovely to see! Come, come!" He led the four of you inside, you grinning at Mycroft at Angelo's casual mentionings of Sherlock and John's usual 'romantic' set up. You were all ushered inside of a small booth and handed menus, the benches were small but tolerable, your thigh just brushing against Mycroft's, him offering a shy smile at the close contact. "You stay here, I'll get to work on those candles. Just for you, Mr Holmes." Angelo spoke again, clapping Sherlock on his shoulder and disappearing into the back of the restaurant.

"He's.. uh.. a bit enthusiastic sometimes." John spoke, his cheeks burning a little at the memories of previous encounters here.

"Quite. Seems a pleasurable fellow." Came Mycroft's response, glancing over the menu. It had taken no time at all for the restaurant owner to appear back with a handful of small tealight candles in glass jars, and a single flower resting in a vase to lay on the table, taking everybody's orders and leaving once again. Then as the food turned up, Sherlock began to prod at the chips on his plate with his knife.

"What are you doing? Eat your bloody food, Sherlock." John quipped, elbowing the man to his side.

"Don't want it.. whoever decided that dessert was only customary after a meal? I'd much rather wait." John gave Sherlock a look and he spoke again. "Don't give me that look, this was your idea. Who even suggests 'late lunch' as a valid meal time? It's impractical. I didn't eat breakfast because we didn't get out of bed until well past the respected breakfast hour.." 'We'.. you didn't press. "So I had a sandwich at lunch which has ruined my appetite for this. Then I'll be hungry again later, but later than dinner time because of how late this lunch is." Sherlock childishly squashed his chip with his thumb. "It's just ridiculous.. they keep adding new names for new meals at new hours, I feel like we're becoming Bobbits."

"Hobbits, brother mine." Mycroft corrected, the faintest smile playing at the side of his mouth as Sherlock's words sounded alarmingly like the ones he had told you only this morning- it was nice when they just got along.

"That's what I said."

"No, you said Bobbits."

"Boys!" John warned, and you broke out into a small fit of giggles.

"We really can't take you anywhere, can we?" You chimed in. Sherlock just huffed, stabbing a chip and eating it as John gave him a stern look. It was quite sweet, actually, watching them be all domestic. By the time you'd finished your meals, yours and John's plates were clear, Sherlock's leaving only a few chips and a mouthful of burger as he found, after starting to eat the food, that he really enjoyed it and wanted more. Mycroft, on the other hand, had managed to leave little over half of his spaghetti bolognese, making comments about the pasta being far too rubbery, or the sauce being too thin, crossing the cutlery over in the centre and making a dismissive comment about making something to eat when he got home- you all knew he wouldn't.

Sherlock had practically jumped for joy when Angelo came out with a tray of chocolate fudge cake, offering slices around the table which you all, bar Mycroft, accepted happily.

"I shan't spoil my appetite for when I get home." Was his small excuse, raising a hand to prevent Angelo from spouting his claims that he had the best cake in London and that he must have a piece, and instead asking for a coffee. Without words being spoken, John cast his eyes over to you and you offered a small sad smile. Nobody had told John of Mycroft's past, but he was a doctor and always knew when signs were displayed. You had taken an extra fork from Angelo just in case and took a small bite with your own fork, unable to let out the (embarrassingly erotic) moan that had escaped you.

"Christ he wasn't lying, this is incredible." You praised, taking another small piece on the second fork. "Mycroft please give it a try." You offered your hand out towards him, the sliver of cake resting on the tip of the fork's prongs. He looked over at it, his mind telling him to give it a go, at the very least because it had been offered by you, but the image of himself in the mirror this morning came back to mind. He declined the offer and you sighed. Mycroft truly did love cake, and any sweet things, so it was heartbreaking for you to see him turning it away because of the thoughts that ran through his brain. Sherlock had already cleared his plate by this point and stood up abruptly, hoisting his coat back over his shoulders.

"I'm going to go out for a cigarette, care to join me Mycroft?" He had asked, walking past the table. Mycroft creased his eyebrows into a frown.

"Sherlock, the pact? I haven't smoked for three years."

"Neither have I, let's go." Sherlock spoke back quickly, hoisting his brother from the booth and taking the pair of them outside. You raised a brow at John who simply shrugged his shoulders.

"I stopped questioning the pair of them and their motives a long time ago." He reasoned, the pair of you turning your heads to see the two Holmes boys outside resting against the restaurant's window.

"I try my best to.. they just still fascinate me." You spoke back, your eyes lingering on Mycroft a little longer before turning back to the table.

"So.. you and Mycroft. Going well?" John asked, his mouth raising in that side smile he often displayed when he was teasing somebody. "I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen Mycroft Holmes smile in a non-threatening way, and over half of those were from since you walked into the flat earlier. I think I can only just about count on two hands times where he's pulled an expression that isn't stoic and emotionless."

"Yeah.. I didn't expect it to happen, if I'm completely honest with you. We've spent so many years just avoiding the subject, but after.. Eurus.. I don't know. It flicked something in Myc that made him regret not doing something about it sooner." John nodded, understanding where you were coming from. "You also don't give him enough credit. Everybody just assumes he's this 'iceman' persona, but it's all a front.. I've watched him laugh so hard that tears fall from his eyes, he's one of those people who throws their heads back and lets out an absolute belter of an infectious laugh. I've seen him get angry at the telly if I came over and some stupid reality show came on the telly.. He shouted at Kim Kardashian once on there for some reason or another. I've stayed up all night with him after he had gruelling days at work, him offering to do the same for me if I had a bad case and couldn't sleep. And then, very recently, I watched him cry." You continued on. "Mycroft Holmes is one of the most emotional, caring people I've ever known, he is just incredibly particular at who gets to see it. You're a doctor, John. You know how experiences in life can shape one's emotional stability, how it alters their mental health. Had you grown up without very many people being kind to you, you'd be scared to let somebody else in too." You finished.

"Sorry.. I didn't mean it to come out in a bad way.. I just meant.. It's nice. Seeing Mycroft acting like that, it's.. nice." He apologised. You waved it off. You knew John didn't mean any harm.

"Mycroft and I are old news anyway.. What about you and Sherlock? When did that surface?" You asked, beaming at the deep red John's face had become as he choked on a sip of his drink. "Oh come on, don't act like that. We've all been waiting for this one to happen since you moved in."

"I.. I don't know what you-" Glaring at him, he stopped himself. "Yeah fine, okay. When we got back to the flat that night we went into the front room and Sherlock lost it. I'd never seen him anything like it before, he just.. he just sobbed into a heap on the floor." He explained, the nervous tapping of his fingers against his glass trying to distract him from his eyes watering. "I didn't know what else to do, so I scooped him up and put him in his bed. He begged me to stay with him and I did. Then he apologised to me, for dragging me in all of that mess, for almost getting me killed and he just wouldn't stop apologising.. So I stole the stereotypical movie move and kissed him. Just kind of went from there. I think that night made us realise that beating around the bush all these years wasn't helping either of us, and the thought that we could have lost the other only a few hours beforehand woke us up." He coughed, his voice breaking slightly.

"God look at us.. All the people in the world and we've landed with the Holmes'" You grabbed John's hand from across the table and laughed. "Makes you feel quite special though, doesn't it? That, equally, there were all the people in the world and they chose us?" John grinned, giving your hand a squeeze.

"Could never tell them that though, their egos would go through the bloody roof."

***

"They're talking about us." Sherlock mused, breathing in the London air.

"It seems people do little else." Mycroft returned, casting his glance to you smiling with John at the table.

"She really does like you. I've spent years deducing everything about her to make sure she wasn't a secret Russian spy sent with the motive to kill you." The younger spoke playfully. "You could have eaten the cake."

"Hmm?"

"The cake. I know you wanted it, but you're going back to how you used to be. Now that you're together, you're nervous." Sherlock's voice was nonchalant, simple observations, which didn't ease his older brother at all. "It's pointless. She's entirely infatuated. I thought the childish doe eyes disappeared after being attracted to somebody for a few weeks, but she still looks at you like I look at a triple homicide."

"Resulting to similes now?"

"You need to stop that too. Dismissing it whenever somebody is trying to be... kind... to you. That's just annoying and not a good defence mechanism for insecurities, like a mask made of clingfilm, it's too obvious." Mycroft didn't speak in turn and Sherlock huffed. "She worries for you, she seeks for you to be comfortable in trialling situations, her eyes do that little light up thing every time you open your bloody mouth. Since standing here she's looked over 3 times and smiled to herself seeing you stand here with me without us arguing. I caught her 4 times on the way to the cab from the flat looking at your arse and your legs in that damned suit. You don't have to worry about anything with her- the way she looks at you is so lovesick it makes me queasy."

"And you know this how, Sherlock? Or is this another one of your cruel schemes to embarrass me?"

"Because, Mycroft, it's the same way you've looked at her for as long as I can remember you knowing her. Jesus, Mycroft, I haven't seen you smile this much since we were children.. before we did everything that led us to believe we were any better than anybody else, that we deserved more than sentiment. And it's the same way I.. the same way I look at him." Sherlock's eyes now locked onto John.

"Always did say there would be a happy announcement between the pair of you. Good to see I'm correct once again." Mycroft mused. He remained stoic, but his brother's words were whirring in his brain, leaving him in a state of shock at the curly haired man even displaying this form of kindness towards him.

"You told me once that caring isn't an advantage. But these last few days, no matter how short it has been, have already led me to believe that caring is perhaps the greatest advantage of them all. And I strongly believe you feel the same way, no matter what bull you make up to argue against it." The pair of them watched through the window once more, the image of you and John laughing at whatever joke had been shared between you. "We both have wasted many years fighting against this, and I don't want you to screw yours up. Y/N will remain by your side and feel the same way towards you, whether you wear a bin bag, lose your job, put on weight- she's in it for the long haul. She's spent so many years pining after you that she deserves the best from you and to be happy. And you, brother mine, have been through enough with not good people; you deserve the happiness too." Sherlock trailed the last sentence. It's incredibly rare for them to show it, but Sherlock and Mycroft would always have a particularly close bond, they've been through too much together not to- and so times like this were precious to them. Mycroft simply let out a small cough, reaching his arm over to rest on his younger brother's shoulder to give it a quick squeeze, before patting it twice and letting his arm rest back by his side.

"Sentiment appears to be dwelling well on you." Mycroft spoke, heading back to the door of the restaurant to head inside, holding it open for his brother.

"As it is on you, brother. As it is on you."

[touchmycoat]

fengcui

rated M word count: 646

“So you know how this works, right?” Feng Xiao said, stretching his arms behind his head and grinning, managing to communicate come hither without a single part of him actually beckoning. Cui Buqu was mildly impressed—not so much by the blatant sluttiness but by the way Feng Xiao made spreading his legs look more like a lion lazily opening its mouth for a shrew to jump into.

Lifting a brow, Cui Buqu stepped into the room and shut the door behind him, latching the lock shut.

“How the bed works? Yes. You pay out of your own pocket for clean new bedding, I get my half, you get yours. You fuss and whine like an infant for no reason, I kick you out ten minutes in.”

Cui Buqu undressed as he spoke, moving about the room to set down important government documents (as bait by the window), a dagger (as a bluff—he hardly needed another weapon when Feng Xiao was already staying in the same room), and his cloak (right by the door, in anticipation of running outside quickly once the trap he laid was sprung). Feng Xiao watched him the entire time with an odd smile on his face.

“Mmh, roleplay? This wife likes her husband’s idea of merry-making.”

That was his dainty lady voice. Halting a cringe, Cui Buqu glared over his shoulder at him. Feng Xiao, of course, was all eyelashes and a finger twirling in his hair, never mind that it was barely chin-length and slicked back in a ridiculous fashion.

(Which only looked absurdly good on Feng Xiao, of course, but Cui Buqu was never going to admit that. Feng Xiao didn’t need him to; Feng Xiao declared to the world at least once an hour that fairness as a concept did not exist in the world because if it did, the Heavens wouldn’t have allowed a being such as himself onto the mortal plane.)

“So is husband the grumpy, sniffly, shy commander of the Zuoyue Bureau or am I?” Feng Xiao smirked. Cui Buqu finished shutting all the windows before approaching the bed, brow tightly furrowed.

“Who’s shy?” he grouched. Feng Xiao stretched out on the bed some more, parked on the outside edge so Cui Buqu would have to crawl over him to get to the inside. As a response, Cui Buqu kicked off a boot and made to plant his socked foot right on Feng Xiao’s nice clean comforter—as expected, the clean freak immediately took hold of Cui Buqu’s calf to prevent contact.

Cui Buqu’s plan had been to follow through on the motion by rolling over Feng Xiao onto his side of the bed just like this. Unfortunately, he would always be a step behind Feng Xiao in physical matters because Feng Xiao simply tugged Cui Buqu’s leg outward, forcing Cui Buqu’s weight to fall directly down onto Feng Xiao’s chest.

It hadn’t been far, but Cui Buqu still had the wind knocked out of him while Feng Xiao, puffing his stupidly hard chest, didn’t even have the courtesy to hiccup. All he did was bend Cui Buqu’s leg up beside his own waist before snaking that hand up Cui Buqu’s thigh. His other hand found the small of Cui Buqu’s back, anticipating protest and pinning Cui Buqu down when Cui Buqu tried to buck.

“Listen,” Feng Xiao proclaimed with an articulated sigh, “everybody knows Second Commander Feng of Jiejian Bureau is unrivaled in physical prowess and incomparable in beauty, and that even somebody like Official Envoy Cui, who is at least mildly above the masses when it comes to looks, as long as you ignore the sickly pallor and all, disappears in company. But we mustn’t let that get us down! Charity is a virtue, and Feng-er is a virtuous man! Yes I will let you take advantage of me, you shameless lech.”

[concubuck]

can Alastor make a portal that goes anywhere?

((There are some limitations!

He has to know where the location is—ideally, he needs to have been there himself, but that's not always necessary if he can mentally "find" it some other way. (Example: if it gives off a radio signal he can latch onto, or if he's been magically given knowledge of the location, or Some Other Sort Of Magical Explanation.)

He can also open portals to people he has a contract with, or teleport himself to them or vice versa. And he can be summoned using his demon sigil.

Effectively that means that, under his own power, he's got very few limits, even extending outside his own dimension. For example, somehow he "knows" where a dimension containing an eldritch tentacle monster is and he can open portals to THAT. And of course he's been regularly visiting other universes since the start of this blog. (ngl it's kinda funny that he's been teleporting into parallel realities to visit his alternates and nobody bats an eye; I only get a question about his powers when he opens a portal from his bedroom to his bathroom 20 feet away lmao)

But, like I mentioned, there ARE some limitations—and for the most part, they're based on magical/supernatural "barriers." For instance, I headcanon he can't teleport from Hell to Earth under his own power, because God just set up the universe to make it really really hard to travel between Earth/Hell/Heaven. (This is to keep sinners from breaking out of Hell; and to keep humans & demons alike from breaking into Heaven.)

Important note that when I say "barriers," I'm not picturing like, some kind of actual shield or magical wall or a force field. Think more like something about reality itself acts weird in a way that prevents travel. Like "if you got on a rocket ship and tried to fly toward Heaven, it would always seem the same distance away no matter how far you traveled" kind of weird. So getting past a supernatural "barrier" like this isn't a matter of "be magically powerful enough to punch through the barrier" but rather "you have to understand the magical underpinnings of the universe well enough to understand why travel isn't working before you can begin to find a solution."

Leaving Hell requires specialized, high-level magic that he doesn't have—like the kind of magic that lets Goetias travel to Earth. If he got his hands on the spell, he's magically skilled enough he COULD get it to work, albeit with a damn lot of practice; but even for him it's challengingly complex. Currently when he visits Earth it's on government jobs only—which means he's taking advantage of portals provided by Hellish nobility for authorized use only.

(It's unlikely that an actual duke or something is opening portals for government contractors, so it's probably more like how IMP uses Stolas's book: a pre-prepared artifact with a spell to open portals has been entrusted to someone—like lower-ranked government employees—that open portals for authorized travelers.)

The same goes for traveling between rings: there's magical "barriers" far outside Alastor's magical skills separating them, designed to keep sinners in Pride. The elevators between rings are magically structured to cross these divides. So—again, unless you have some inhumanly high-level magic like a Goetia—there's no teleporting between rings.

There are potentially other supernatural "barriers" in place around reality (like, if Alastor wants to visit Hades, he might have to take a ferry across the Styx rather than teleport in?), but those have yet to come up.

One exception to all the above rules about barriers: if Alastor is summoned (using his sigil or a similar demon summoning ritual), he can go anywhere to reach the summoner. The only downsides are that somebody on the other end needs to already be in place to summon him; and also, if the summoner is skilled enough, Alastor may not have a choice about whether he goes.))

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Could you talk about the Statute of Secrecy? Or the Ministry’s corruption in General :)

Well, those are two different things. Given that I believe I have an ask floating somewhere in my inbox on the Statute, I suppose we’ll talk about the Ministry of Magic today.

I feel like this is such a broad topic though that I’m not quite sure where to start. I guess I’ll just throw spaghetti at the internet wall and see what sticks.

The Ministry is a Reflection of Society Who Never Admitted They Were the Death Eaters

In the ministry of Harry Potter’s era the Ministry is hopelessly corrupt and filled to the brim with spies (more on this in a later section). Lucius Malfoy, very high up in an unofficial capacity in the Ministry and owner of the Ministry’s mouth piece: The Daily Prophet, was a known Death Eater with a very flimsy excuse.

How is he even able to wield so much influence, you ask? Well, I think it’s not just because of Fudge picking the wrong friends.

I think most the population probably does believe Lucius Malfoy is innocent the way Fudge does. I think it’s a very small subsection, i.e. Dumbledore’s lackies, who go “Nah, ain’t buying it.” I think that, in 1981, when it came time to reveal just how many were Death Eaters and how far this went many people just couldn’t handle it.

Because it was to the point where the nation wasn’t battling Death Eaters, Death Eaters were the nation. Look at the members, these are and were the most influential and prominent families in the country, who combined hold a non-small minority of seats in the Wizengamot. More, these were only the participants, combine those who given anti-muggle and muggleborn sentiment (which I believe are pervasive even among those who claim they fight for the rights of muggles and muggleborns) and you get a nation that is suddenly facing a huge cultural issue that was never previously acknowledged.

We’re talking an entire purge of the Wizengamot, of the Ministry, of the major families and cornerstones of this society. The Black family is completely and utterly destroyed.

People were and remain throughout the 1990′s, desperate to believe it was not as bad as it was or isn’t as bad as it is. If Lucius Malfoy says he was never really a Death Eater then he was never really a Death Eater.

The Ministry is Lousy With Corruption and Spies

What’s hilarious to me is not only is the Ministry incompetent. It is positively flooded with spies. Given the ministry’s overbloated, it’s not even a sizeable minority of employees, but nonetheless every major department has at least one person (if not more) who works for somebody else.

Most work for Tom Riddle. He seems to have intelligence in every department. Through Lucius, who is working pretty much as an unofficial aide to Fudge, he has access to Fudge, complete control of the Daily Prophet, and a voice on the Hogwarts’ board of governors.

Through Rockwood, Tom has direct access to the Department of Mysteries which Lucius is then able to take full advantage of.

Lucius is able to set up an ambush in the Department of Mysteries, getting escaped convicts into the building with the none the wiser, and, had his sole purpose not been a prophecy that only Harry Potter and the Dark Lord can touch, he would have been able to take what he liked. (Though it was always odd to me that the plan was to get Harry Potter to do it, when the better solution would have been to polyjuice Tom Riddle into someone else, set up a tour with the department, and then Tom wanders off conveniently to pick up the prophecy. My theory, I suppose, is that chasing after the prophecy was mostly an exercise in punishing Lucius. And then Lucius fucked up.)

And of course, in book seven, Tom Riddle makes a puppet minister. Point being, to me, it always said a lot that in Book Seven Tom just sort of walks into the building and says, “I’m in charge now” and everyone says “okay”. There was no second Wizarding War, it was a bloodless coup that met zero resistance from anyone but angry school children. 

But that’s Tom’s spies, we also have other spies. Who am I talking about, Dumbledore’s folks of course.

Shacklebolt, Moody, Tonks, and Arthur Weasley are all spies, they just don’t have the introspection to even realize it (which really tells you something about the state of corruption in the ministry). They all work for the ministry, yes, but they in fact pass on information to and serve another master, whose goals do not always align with the government and was a hop skip and a jump away from overthrowing the government at any given moment.

And they don’t even really realize they’re doing this! There doesn’t even seem to be a thought of “I’m doing this for the greater good”, they don’t seem to acknowledge that what they’re doing is very very very bad. Arthur, in fact, is appalled when Percy refuses to do this (well, he’s upset for a lot of reasons, such as that he thinks Percy is spying on Arthur for the minister, but in there is also that Percy refuses to help out with the Order or follow Dumbledore without question). 

Harry paints the Dumbledore’s Army threat that Umbridge saw as something utterly ridiculous, but honestly if I was the ministry I would be worried about this. Dumbledore’s people have infiltrated the ministry just as deeply and badly as the Death Eaters, Dumbledore’s known for recruiting children into his vigilante organization, I don’t know what he’s doing with an army of schoolchildren but I can smell a coup coming.

Anyway, I’m getting off track, point being though that corruption is not only expected and accepted by the ministry, they cannot recognize what it even is. They’re at the point where paying bribes is allocated in their budget.

I Don’t Blame the Ministry For Not Thinking Tom Riddle Was Anti-Jesus

Fudge is designed to get a lot of flack for his outright denial that Voldemort had returned from the dead. He, and other denier characters, are meant to be fools with their heads in the sand who can’t see the obvious.

I ask what about it was obvious?

The only witness to Tom Riddle’s resurrection, Harry Potter, has a known history of erratic behavior.

The previous year, he’d performed illegal magic on his muggle aunt and run away from home. During the previous school year, Harry was revealed to be a parselmouth in a time when the Chamber of Secrets was presumably opened and the mystery was never fully solved (remember, that it was a possessed Ginny never comes to light for more than a few people.) Beyond that, since his first day of school, Harry is routinely in and out of detention, constantly out after curfew, and only seems to not be in serious trouble because he’s openly favored by Dumbledore (who gives him hundreds of points for breaking one of his school rules, during the Philosopher’s Stone fiasco in first year). In 1994, Harry is entered into the Tri-Wizard Tournament under very suspicious circumstances.

We know why all this happens to Harry but from the outside he looks like a delinquent. In fact, he kind of is a delinquent. 

Point being, the only witness is not only Harry Potter (who is already sketch) but it’s Harry Potter holding a dead body of a rival in the tournament.

And he’s claiming that a man who has been nearly fifteen years dead, a man who held the nation in terror and Harry Potter is beloved for destroying, has returned from the grave and conveniently murdered Cedric.

Why is Cedric dead? Well, you see, he and Harry both touched the goblet at the same time because they were going to share the reward. The goblet, a national treasure, was turned into a portkey so that Voldemort could kidnap him.

Why didn’t Voldemort just kidnap him at any other point during the year where he’s guaranteed not to get tag a longs or the wrong kid? Uh... VOLDEMORT IS BACK (for the record, I think it’s because Barty got hung up on the goblet scheme and was determined to ruin his father’s day.)

Where is Voldemort at this very moment? Being evil, somewhere, that is not right here. No, Harry has zero evidence this happened.

Frankly, I wouldn’t believe Harry either.

And when Dumbledore goes about promoting this as sound evidence that Tom Riddle has in fact returned, it starts to get even sketchier. Rather than sounding the alarm, Dumbledore is using this boy’s madness to stir the public into a panic that he, perhaps, plans to take advantage of.

After Dumbledore does that, I would suspect that, even if Harry does give me a memory of the graveyard scene that his head had been tampered with by Dumbledore.

And it’s so convenient that, of all the names Harry picked, it’s Voldemort who killed Cedric. It seems like a ploy to not only deflect the fact that he murdered Cedric but 

Harry’s very upset when some don’t take him at his word but Harry’s also a dumbass and a psychopath. He hates everyone who doesn’t agree with him.

More importantly, necromancy isn’t a thing in the Harry Potter universe. People don’t rise from the dead. Horcruxes exist, but they’re extremely rare, and it seems like no one ever really makes use of them.

So, yeah, not unreasonable that Fudge didn’t immediately go, “My god, Voldemort has risen from the dead! LIGHT THE BEACONS AND SUMMON ROHAN!”

So yeah, it’d take me seeing Voldemort waltzing through the Department Mysteries to go “... Goddammit, this man is more unkillable than Sheev Palpatine.”

After the Epilogue, I am Certain It’s Still the Same Damn Ministry

People hate the epilogue, but in a way, I love it, because it confirms many of my headcanons: these people don’t learn a goddamn thing.

Nothing in their society seems to have changed. Instead of one set of families holding all the power it’s now a new set of families and friends holding all the power. The difference being that they are now all in some way connected to Harry Potter.

Nepotism’s still the name of the game, we still see only human children boarding the Hogwarts Express so you know shit hasn’t changed for the goblins, Draco Malfoy’s alive and well and holds a position in the Ministry that Kingsly graciously allows him to have, it’s just now you have Hermione writing all your laws for you.

The Wizarding World is still the Wizarding World in every single capacity. The only difference is that Voldemort is dead again. Hooray.

Harry and friends simply don’t have the introspection to even realize it.